Roswell Fanatics

Okay!!!! This is the last old part. I'm planning to have a new part up tomorrow before I go to bed. SO LOOK FOR IT!!!!






-Previously-


I snuggle my body against Eagan's.

I yawn again.

Yes, Ava. Ava can be trusted. I'll talk to her as soon as I can just get out of this bed.

Right now it's too much effort.

But I'll get up soon.

Soon.

I wonder where Max went when Tess and I started to fight?

Hmmmmmm.

And where Tess went when she got up for that matter.

Where does everyone disappear to?

Nowhere.

They go nowhere.

Just into thin air.

Like the servants.

They go into thin air too.

I like the servants.

They do stuff for me.

They are always so sad though.

I should do stuff for them.

I like Lonnie.

She's not so bad.

I like Ava too…

She's nice.

I like Max.

Mmmmmmmm.

I love Max.

I'm in love with Max.

I am a complete idiot and I am still in love with Max.

Hehe. That's so stupid.

But Max is so….amazing….

And he's such a damn good kisser….

I wonder what it would be like to make love….

And on that thought I drift off to sleep, fantasizing of you know who….

Shhhhhh. Don't tell…..

**************************

Chapter Ten

I awaken to feel my body being lifted into the dark air.

Strong arms hold me up.

"Max?" I call out weakly.

There is a silent pause before the answer comes.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you my dear, but it's only me, your fiancé, Khivar," Khivar responds, his tone slightly resentful.

"Oh, Khivar," I recover quickly. "I'm so glad it's you. I was having this awful nightmare that Max Evans took Eagan far, far away from here, far away from us. And then he came after me and tried to take me too! It was awful!"

I begin to cry for good measure.

"There, there, pet," Khivar soothes me and brushes one of my forced tears off my cheek. "I won't let Max take his son away from you. His place is here on Antar where he will someday rule. And your place is here at my side. So long as I live, Max Evans will never take you from me. I will see to that."

I force myself to nestle my head against his broad shoulder. I smile with careful calculation.

Khivar kisses my forehead, and I close my eyes again as he carries me through the darkness up to his darkened room. He lays me down on his bed.

I sleep, or pretend to, as he lies down next to me and pulls me snugly against him.

I force myself into a dead sleep eventually. I dream no dreams.

When I awake it is morning. Khivar is gone, but he has left a video message for me.

He's didn't want to wake me because he thought I needed my sleep. Gee, how damn thoughtful of him.

He's getting ready for the summit and wants me to join him as soon as possible after I awaken.

Whatever.

He hopes I sleep through the whole damn thing so that I remain clueless and in the dark about every fucking thing that goes on around here.

Here's my ass, Khivar. You can fucking kiss it. That's right, kiss it you fucker!

Talk about waking up on the wrong side of the bed. It comes to my attention that I'm extra irritable this morning.

It comes from getting up on the wrong side of the bed, or rather getting up from the wrong bed, period.

I mosey back to my room, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes as I go.

I make it to my bathroom bathing fountain, my eyes still slit shut. I yawn and begin to undress myself.

Where the fuck is Ava? Where'd she sleep?

Hell, if she's sleeping with Khivar too…

I NEED a vacation.

I'll go find Ava as soon as I take a relaxing bath to improve my mood, and we'll get to the summit activities. Unless she's already at the summit. Well, I guess it's good that at least one of us has their game face on.

I sigh.

Who cares? At this point I certainly don't. Why should I? It doesn't matter anyways. Nothing matters.

I don't even fucking know what time it is.

"Computer, time," I state groggily.

"9 hours," The computer responds.

"Computer, what time does the summit commence?" I ask.

"13 hours," The computer answers.

Well, shit, I got plenty of time. Plenty of time. I don't want to go to all those formalities Khivar has to attend before it begins anyways. Tess always complains how boring and annoying they are. Why would I want to sit through that shit?

I slowly step into the ever flowing, bubbling water of the fountain. I lay back into the warm water and close my eyes. I take a deep breath, letting some of the negativity flow out of me.

MMMmmmm. This feels so good.

I order the computer to add more bubbles and soapy, lavender scented water fills the bath.

I feel myself completely relax.

And then something odd happens.

I begin to feel an aching in my muscles. And I try to stand up but I can't move. I'm completely immobile.

What the hell?

I try to force myself to sit up at least, but I can't. I can't move at all. From my neck down, everything under water is dead. I don't even feel the heat of the water any longer.

"Damnit," I curse.

It's just way too early in the day.

And then my skin begins to burn. It feels like a thousand needles are all being jabbing into me at once.

It's in the water I realize. Something is in the water. Someone put something in the water.

Well this is a cruel, unexpected twist.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" I call out. "Someone help me!"

I told Khivar that I refuse to let servants wait on me hand and foot and that I could manage to bath myself. I told him that I could dry my own ass. Sigh.

But there should be servants in my quarters somewhere. But if someone is trying to kill you, you fool, I think that they would make sure no one is around to save you.

Well this is just fabulous. All I need.

Stay calm Liz.

"HELP!" I shout.

I sound like a moron. No one can hear me. No one is looking for me, not for a while a least.

I can see how red my skin is under the water. It smarts like none other. The burning only becomes more and more intense until I have tears in my eyes.

"HELLPPP!!!" I wail.

I try to stay calm but it hurts so much. It feels like my skin is burning off. My entire body is turning a sickly purple.

And it occurs to me that I could die right here, right now, naked, in my own goddamn bathtub. And if that isn't on everyone's top ten list of worst nightmares, I don't know what is.

And then I get pissed as hell that someone did this to me.

Who?

Tess.

That bitch.

It is then that the game, this game, and all it's stakes, become more real than I ever could have imagined.

Last night, at dinner, when she disappeared.

She knew Khivar would never let her kill me with a big fancy cat fight.

But this? This?

This could be blamed on anyone.

She could blame it on terrorists of the empire, or Max, or it could even be rigged to look natural depending on what chemicals she used.

This would be easier to get away with.

She probably rewrote the computer system to cover her tracks.

That bitch.

I'm going to fucking kick her ass as soon as I figure out how the fuck to get out of this fountain.

"Computer, drain fountain," I order.

If I hadn't panicked so quickly I might have thought of such an OBVIOUS solution earlier.

"Unable to comply," The computer tells me. "Authorization code required."

I state my authorization code but the computer refuses to acknowledge it.

At this point I really begin to panic.

"SOMEONE HELP ME!!!" I scream.

My body is now an unnatural white color.

And my muscles are burning.

It's beginning to be hard to breathe.

I struggle to force air in and out of my lungs.

I can feel my heartbeat slow.

And the pain begins to feel very far away.

My eyelids flutter.

And I see the shadow of a figure standing over me.

I recognize him easily.

"Max," I utter faintly.

"Liz," Max states uneasily.

"Max, help me," I urge him, barely ale to hear my own voice. "I'm so weak."

"I can't Liz," Max asserts looking away. "Not until we make a deal."

"What?!" I choke on my surprise, forcing myself to awaken as much as I can.

"We can't afford to give you any more favors for free. You agree to help us break up the Alliance, and I will pour in the anecdote to the Dehari poison that Tess put in your bath water," Max propositions.

"Poison?" I question, my mouth dry.

"It's a chemical that decomposes organic materials down to their molecular states. First, it seeps through your skin your muscles numb to the point where you can no longer move them and you begin to feel the burn as it eats away at your skin. Then, gradually your internal organs begin to slow and eventually, within the span of less than an hour, you entire body will break down into the natural elements found within it. Essentially, you will become the air you are now breathing and the water you lie in. I urge you to comply with my terms as soon as possible. We don't have a lot of time left to mess around, Liz," Max informs me.

I'm still in shock that Max Evans is standing before me trying to blackmail me.

"What do you mean by break up the Alliance?" I inquire.

"You will supply us the Ancient Antarian Likoma. It's the book that the entire planet is founded on. It's kind of like the Bible to Antarians, Liz. It's a historical and spiritual book of the Antarian people. What we need is for you to locate the original copy and bring it to us. Time is of the essence. We need it as soon as possible so you will have to work fast," Max tells me.

"Suppose I agree and steal this book for you. I'm assuming it must be important for you to go to such lengths to get it. Won't Khivar notice that it is missing?" I question.

"Yes, but we will provide you with a duplicate, a copy of the original that is so identical that Khivar won't be able to tell the difference," Max responds.

"If it's that close to the original, why do you need the original?" I ask.

"I can't tell you that," Max answers. "Will you help us or not?"

"Well it's not like I have much choice since it'll be a while before they reincarnate me back to kick your ass," I retort sharply.

"They wouldn't be able to find your cells to reincarnate you and any cells they had of yours from before by this time are dead. They need living body cells from the person to start the cloning process and keep the same memory and mind. If you died now, as Tess intended, you would be lost for good," Max tells me solemnly, his game face on.

He's good. I'll give him that. But I KNOW he wouldn't let me die. And he has to know that I know he wouldn't let me die. But he wants to get my attention. Would I have helped him if he had come to and politely asked? Probably not. At least not right away.

"Well then pour in the fucking magic potion, you fool! Stop standing around. I agree with your terms," I roll my eyes at Max. "I'm no help to you dead!"

I don't really have the time or patience to sit around here and call his bluff. It's disturbing how much of a hard ass he can be if he has to.

Mainly, I just agreed because I'd like to see Khivar go down as much as he would. However, I really am not sure I want Max to know that yet. He's just provided an easy out for me to my dilemma of how to unite our fronts against Khivar. This way I don't have to come to him and repent to ask for his help.

Max pours a vial of blue liquid into the bath and almost instantly the burning ceases. I take deep gasping breathes, refilling my body with oxygen. My arms and legs are still immobile and numb however.

"We need to locate the Likoma before tomorrow night at the very least, if not have it in our hands," Max informs me.

My body is starting to regain its coloring. I nod along to Max to show him that I am listening.

I wonder how he knew I would comply? Better question, I wonder if he knew I knew he was bluffing? I wonder if he knows why I didn't call his bluff?

"We checked all the vaults, and it wasn't in any of them. We've searched most of the palace, checked inventory list after inventory list, and still nothing. But we know Khivar has the book. He has to. We just don't know where he is keeping it," Max goes on.

I start to regain feeling and movement in my fingers and toes.

Now, the fact that I was near-death only moments ago starts to strike me as somewhat more unsettling than it did at the time.

What the hell was he thinking? No seriously, playing with poison is not cool.

Also, I like to have the upper hand. I don't like being manipulated; I don't like being controlled. I don't like answering to anyone, least of all Max.

A small voice in the back of my head ask me if I would have rather had to go to Max and grovel before him, but I tell it to shut up. Who likes being logical in the morning?

In any case, if Max knew Tess poisoned me, he should have warned, me not exploited me. Plus, it was kind of a painful and deadly poison to just let me swim around in. I can't imagine what it would have been like if I had gotten in last night before it had been diluted by a night's worth of the fountain's fresh water supply.

The water in the fountain is filtered and pumped back through for the most part, but small trickle is emptied out to be further cleaned and replaced as well. Water is not abundant by any means on Antar and must be used scarcely.

What really alarms me is the poison seeped past the filter. The filters in the baths aren't very impressive though and mostly sift the gunky stuff out of the water. The water purification system should detect and eliminate the poison but I have to make sure or the result could be catastrophic.

"Computer check for contamination in the water system and purge all unidentified substances," I order as I open and close my hands while they regain their feeling. "So Tess is behind this? Doesn't she know she could kill herself and the entire rest of the palace if that poison leaked into the water circulation? What the hell was that bitch thinking? How could she be so reckless?"

"Actually, she cut off incoming circulation to your bathing room completely. The poisen she strategically placed in your bubble bath so it wasn't unloosed until you were bathing. And she hacked into your local computer frame here and implanted an order for your bathroom doors to be sealed clothes upon you stepping into the bath. But I was able to override that, as well as a few other tricks she had up her sleeves. I have to hand it to her though, she knows how to cover her tracks and cover them well," Max states.

"Wonderful," I respond, wriggling my legs. "So basically, upon discovering Tess's malicious plan to kill me, you decided to exploit me instead? Nice Max, nice. Now, if you would be so dear as to hand me my robe so that I may get up, it would be greatly appreciated."

"You know you don't have anything to show that I haven't seen before," Max smirks at my modesty.

"Well naked Tess and naked purple bitch hardly do the female figure the justice that I do," I retort. "Now hand me that damn robe."

"What can I say? I'd definitely have to agree with you there. Of course, it's been quite a few years since I got a chance to have a good look at you, but from the brief peek I got when I was saving your life and pulling your body back together in working order, I would say you have definitely matured a bit," Max informs teasingly as he picks up my robe off the floor. "You still have that birthmark on the inside of your upper right thigh. At least I can see that the recreation process is seemingly accountable."

I glance down at my birth mark.

"What do you mean still?" I frown. "You'd never seen that hideous thing before in your life, and I don't remember ever telling you about it. I never tell anyone about it. If it wasn't so compromisingly located I'd have had it removed when I was 12."

"Please, Liz," Max scoffs. "You don't think I didn't memorize your entire body that night? Every sacred inch of you is beautiful, was so beautiful to me. I lied awake for hours and hours watching you sleep next to me, taking your every inch, committing every blessed feature to my memory. For years, Liz, every night for years I would dream about you lying next to me, in my arms, as you did that one special night, but every morning I awoke to the harsh reality of a cold, empty bed. "

Max looks away bitterly.

"Max, what the hell are you talking about?" I stare at him like he has gone mad.

Sure, I too had fantasies about him. But his conviction in the vividness of his hallucinations is beginning to alarm me.

"Oh come on Liz," Max rolls his eyes. "You don’t have to play stupid anymore! You can downplay everything we had all you want to Khivar but not with me. Not with me, damnit! I was there. I know. It's disgusting how well you pretend to forget, how you act so aloof!"

He's angry. Max is angry.

And hurt. There is pain in his eyes and suffering written all over his face.

And I don't know why. I understand at all.

My robe is shaking in Max's hands. And it's scaring me because I have never seen Max upset like this before.

"Max, please, I don't know what you are talking about," I plead, my voice genuine.

"What I am talking about, Liz, is that which you are so eager to forget," Max snaps at me. "That night…you know which night I am talking about…you know, that one…where we…cemented our love…"

I stare at him blankly.

"Shit, Liz! Do I need to spell it out for you? I'm talking about the night that we had sex!" Max shouts.

"We never had sex," I say slowly, confused.

"YES WE DID!" Max roars in angry passion. "And I'll make you see!"

Max rushes towards me, abandoning my robe to the floor. I try to scramble away, out of his reach, but hardly even manage to stand in the tub because my legs are still wobbly. I feel myself about to collapse.

Max grabs a hold of my arm and jerks me towards him. I kick and splash and try to get away but the vice-like grip of his hands clamp down on my temples.

And then I see. I see.

In a burst of magnificent white light the images, the emotions, the ecstasy, all rush back to me. It all plays forth before me.

I feel kisses. Warm, soft, butterfly kisses trailing gently down my body.

I am naked and lying on my back. My hands eagerly seek out the source of my pleasure. I weave my fingers through Max's dark locks, and I desperately guide his head up to meet mine. I appreciatively rake a hand across his gorgeously bare chest before my arms encircle around him.

I gaze into Max’s innocent, bright, beautiful face.

Love. There is so much love there. And understanding. And respect. And admiration.

His soft, sweet amber eyes meet mine, searching, questioning.

I nod my head, without a single doubt in my mind.

He kisses me, deeply, passionately, projecting all his love for me into me, filling me, making me whole.

He pulls back to whisper in my ear.

"I love you," Max states, his voice husky.

And I whisper back.

"I love you," I declare, truly loving him with all of my heart.

Max tenderly kisses me again, his tongue enticing mine, sending tingles through my insides to my core. My body aches for him, longs to become one with him. I nibble playfully on his lower lip and wrap my legs around his waist as he positions himself above me.

I grow tense in anticipation as I feel Max begin to carefully press at my entrance. I want this so much. I feel myself begin to slowly give way, to stretch to accommodate him.

Pain. Stabbing pain. I grimace slightly and bite down on Max’s lip. A tear rolls down my cheek.

Max stops his movements and tears his head back to look into my eyes. Max cups my face with one hand. He wipes away a salty tear with his thumb and lightly brushes the rest of my tears away with his lips.

I draw his thumb into my mouth coyly, sucking on it, caressing it with my tongue. He groans.

I plead with Max to continue but he hesitates, concerned. I tighten my legs around him. I heave my hips up together with his in one sharp movement, impaling myself on his swollen member. I feel regret a moment later when the pain knocks into me.

Max is a bit shocked at first by my brazen actions, but quickly moves to soothe me, smothering my teary face in kisses, assuring me that he loves me. I cling to him and begin to relax as the pain starts to subside.

I urge Max on, telling him that I’m fine.

Slowly, steadily, he begins to pump in and out of me.

At first I feel myself thinking it’s the most painful thing I’ve ever endured.

However, eventually I begin to loosen up and warm to the friction of our two bodies coming together. The heat begins to build inside me, pulling me further and further into bliss.

I watch Max’s face above me, striving in ecstasy, coming closer and closer to his goal. He notices my gaze upon him and smiles warmly down at me, then seizes my lips with his.

I claw my nails down his sexy back as he drives into me faster and faster.

I feel myself slipping, beginning to topple over the edge.

Max reaches between my legs to give me the extra jolt I need to send me soaring.

And the connection, the sheer electricity, between us sends me traveling to unknown universes, distant times and space.

Max makes one final strenuous thrust to launch himself rocketing along side me into ecstasy.

Max and I become one, one in body, one in mind, one in soul.

Breathing as one, feeling as one, existing as one. Everything I am is Max, and Max is everything of me.

We lay entangled together like that for a very long time, lost inside one another, drowning in one another.

Gradually, we begin to float back down from our heights, finding ourselves in ultimate comfort just being in each other’s arms.

Max releases his hold on me and the memory fades out, leaving me with the harsh, cold reality now before me.

I realize that I am crying.

But it's okay, because Max is crying too.

Max pulls me into his open arms.

I eagerly meet his embrace, clinging to him for support. I sob into his shoulder, my tears wetting his already wet jacket, splashed in our earlier struggle.

"I-I-I-I-I didn't, didn't know," I manage to stutter.

Max rocks my shaking body, entwining a hand in my cold, wet, mess of hair.

"I didn't know," I repeat in a hoarse whisper.

"I know, Liz, I saw," Max finally croaks a response. "I saw."

And we hold each other, finding remote comfort only in each other's arms.

And we cry. We weep.

Our tears fall to the tile floor and mix with the puddles of the tainted bath water.

I didn't know. How could I not have known?

They stole my memories. They altered my past by stealing my memories.

How much more did they take from me? HOW MUCH MORE? How much more?

They truly have stolen my life. Reduced me to the betrayal of my lover, my betrothed, my soul mate. Reduced me to lies, slander, hypocrisy. Reduced me to nothing.

They killed everything I ever was and manipulated me into becoming one of them.

And now, I will make them all pay.

Here it is this moment you've all been waiting for....overdue I know.

Before you dive into the new part I'd like to thank all of you who kept on me and kept posting in my absence. SO I'm dedicates this part to:

roswellluver(1)
mlover25(1)
roswelladdict(1)
qt4167013(1)
Cinder(1)
ConsultantTam(1)
crazyapplesaucer(1)
Mareli(1)
ps_dreamer(2)
rattlebox(2)
Shobhna Geurin(3)
dreamangel_liya(3)
frenchkiss70(3)
luvjb(3)
Zan's Angel(4)
sweetivy420(5)
Michelle in Yonkers (6)
OChanteuse(7)
BelevnDreamsToo(7)
Starlight(23)
Norma Bates(44, yes, you should be called the author)

I hope I got everyone's names right, I'm not completely positive on the number of posts. Those are just the people that left posts in my *cough* two or three month vacation.... But I appreciate everyone's feedback and lover to hear what people have to say. I didn't log on to the board while I was gone so I didn't get a chance to read my bmail. I was using my university email account during the school year but now I am back to allie1031@yahoo.com.

Now here's some mixed news for you folks concerning the future of my fics. I am going to be living in France in the fall. I NEED to get away. So I'm going to France for four months or so. I hope to be backpacking the last month of that if I still have enough money. Anyways, I really don't know how much access I am going to have to a computer I can do quality writing at. So I am going to try to finish this fic and get as far as I can into Normal before I leave. I'm going to start trying edit and repost the old parts of Normal. Hopefully I'll be able to do that and still adaquately dedicate myself to this story. If not, I'll have to just concentrate on this. I am not abandoning Normal, it's my pride and joy and I love it lots and lots and I will finish it. But I want to get this out of the way.

Thank you all for sticking with me! I hope you like this part. I'm not completely satisfied with it, but I really want to move forward to the exciting stuff ahead!!!



-Previously-

Max releases his hold on me and the memory fades out, leaving me with the harsh, cold reality now before me.

I realize that I am crying.

But it's okay, because Max is crying too.

Max pulls me into his open arms.

I eagerly meet his embrace, clinging to him for support. I sob into his shoulder, my tears wetting his already wet jacket, splashed in our earlier struggle.

"I-I-I-I-I didn't, didn't know," I manage to stutter.

Max rocks my shaking body, entwining a hand in my cold, wet, mess of hair.

"I didn't know," I repeat in a hoarse whisper.

"I know, Liz, I saw," Max finally croaks a response. "I saw."

And we hold each other, finding remote comfort only in each other's arms.

And we cry. We weep.

Our tears fall to the tile floor and mix with the puddles of the tainted bath water.

I didn't know. How could I not have known?

They stole my memories. They altered my past by stealing my memories.

How much more did they take from me? HOW MUCH MORE? How much more?

They truly have stolen my life. Reduced me to the betrayal of my lover, my betrothed, my soul mate. Reduced me to lies, slander, hypocrisy. Reduced me to nothing.

They killed everything I ever was and manipulated me into becoming one of them.

And now, I will make them all pay.




Chapter 11

How does one know what is real? Really real? What separates reality from fantasy? From dreams? From fabrications? How do you ever know where the realm of reality ends and fiction begins?

And what makes something real to begin with? The mind plays many tricks. Other's minds play many tricks. You cannot always trust even your own mind to be honest with you.

Is seeing ever enough to believe? How do you know what you actually saw? How do you know you didn't imagine it, or someone else didn't imagine it for you?

And how can you possibly trust others if you cannot even trust yourself? If you don't even know what is really real?

There was a time when I used to live in the real world, a solid world, a world with definition. But that time has most definitely passed.

Everything I know is a lie. And now I doubt myself, I doubt my memories, I doubt my reality. I wonder if there ever was a real world, a definite world.

I wonder if my mother and father even exist, if Earth even exists. How would I know? I've never seen it, not this lifetime. And even if I had, how would I know that what I thought I saw wasn't just what someone was making me see, forcing me to see?

What do you do when you have no one, nothing, you can trust, depend on? What do you do? Where do you go? Where do you turn to? How do you live? What do you do? What does anyone do?

What can you do when who you are, your existence, is in question? What can you do? Where can you go? Where can you turn to? How can you live? What can you do? What can anyone possibly do?

What happens when you can't even count on yourself?

In this life, I don't get any insurance that everything is going to turn out right, that I will make the right decision. In this life, I have to take chances, on who to trust and who not to, on what to believe and what not to, on what is real and what is not, and it is those chances that define reality for me.

I'd seen that flash before, the one Max forced me to see. I had taken it not for a memory, but a wishful dream. Is it real? My body tells me it is as familiar to me as my own heartbeat and calls out to Max with urgent, uninhibited need.

Max. I cannot deny the undeniable. I still love him.

But will that be enough? Is love enough? Could I ever hope to have a life with him after everything that has happened? After everything that stands between us now?

I need to know the truth. First and foremost, above and beyond all, I must know the truth. And then I can have my silly, high school dreams back if I so choose.

But it can't be like this, I can't find the truth like this. It can't be forced upon me. Max's mind searched through mine, dug through my past, and bombarded me with a knowledge that shattered me into to pieces. The power that he has between his two hands scares me. He has the power to rip me apart if he isn't more careful.

I know that this is something I have to do, have to go through, have to experience, but I also know that I have to do it on my own, in my own timing. My past is something I must discover myself. It's the only way I'll ever be able to believe, to trust myself, trust the world.

I hold Max tightly to me. I brush my lips against his neck, tenderly, briefly. Why does this always have to be so hard? I can’t help asking myself that. I love him. I love Max. If I know nothing else, I know that. And knowing that makes this all the harder.

I pull my teary face off Max's sturdy shoulder, and I stand up, leaving Max's crumpled self on the floor. I try to compose myself as best as I can, finding a robe and pulling it over my naked, vulnerable body.

"Max," I say his name easily, facing him. "I will help you find this Likoma of which you speak. But you must know that you cannot use blackmail to make me your puppet, nor can you use force to make me see what you want me to. I know you only wanted to help, but I will find the truth and recover my memories in my own time, when I am ready."

I lend Max a hand and help him back onto his feet.

"I'm sorry, Liz," Max genuinely apologizes, holding onto my hand tightly with his. "I didn't mean for it to happen like this. But you know that you didn't really leave me a whole lot of options. I've just been so frustrated! That wasn't real poison, anyways. I could never take that risk with you. I cleaned the real poison out. That was just a tranquilizer. You would have had feeling again in about two or three hours."

I frown slightly, and gaze at my hand linked with his. My small, delicate hand fits perfectly in his larger, stronger hand, which has protectively enveloped mine. I close my eyes briefly and gather my strength.

"Yes, well, I will not be forced into a corner, Max Evans, not by you, or anyone else for that matter," I pull my wavering hand from his tight grip and step away from him. "Computer, lockdown grid 1013, unauthorized, unidentified intruder, assemble trap 914, Authorization Parker2."

"Ummm, Liz?" Max takes a hesitant step towards me but runs into the force field wall and is forced back away from me.

"Sorry, Max. I guess now you know how it feels to find yourself in a trap set by someone you love," I say, forcing myself to reign over my emotion.

"Liz!" Max pounds his fists angrily on the force field.

He tests his perimeter and finds himself enclosed in roughly a six foot square box.

"This is a level one holding cell. Given your abilities, you should be able to navigate yourself through the security holds of the computer in, oh, two or three hours, maybe less if you get Michael down here to meet you half way. Have fun," I wave. "And please, try to remember not to fuck with me again. I'm not a toy, Max, so don't play with me."

I exit the room. I can hear him shouting at me, pleading with me to come back and release him. I make myself shrug him off. At least this is one lesson he won't easily forget.

I always feel this incredible necessity to assert my independence around Max, to demonstrate that I have no need for him and in fact get along just fine without him. And the lengths I go through to prove this really kind of are beginning to make me uneasy. Because when it comes right down to it, I'm not sure exactly how much truth stands that which I deem so terrible necessary, and in fact how necessary it even is.

I sigh. I need to get dressed and then find Ava. I pull my black and blue, royal attire made especially for the summit out of the closet and help myself into it.

I'm not sure where my servants are, but I'm sure Tess ensured that they would be occupied elsewhere, unable to come to my aid.

That bitch, try to kill me will she? She'll get what is coming to her.

I find a servant in the hall and make it come in and do my hair. How pathetic am I? I can't even do my own hair anymore.

I ask the servant if it knows where Ava is at. It tries to tell me something but I can't understand and just get confused.

So I ask the computer. It tells me Ava is dinning room. So that's where I head.

Everyone from the Alliance is eating lunch. I take my seat by Khivar, across from Tess, now next to Ava.

"Liz, dear, I wasn't sure if you were going to make it to lunch, my love. I've been sending messages to you all morning. The computer kept informing me you were soundly sleeping," Khivar says to me.

"Yes, well, I was very tired. DEAD tired in fact," I glare at Tess.

"Well it's no wonder you were exhausted after that skirmish we had yesterday. Poor dear, you got your ass kicked," Tess smirks.

I'm about to lodge my fork into her forehead when I feel Ava's hand on my arm.

"I'm not hungry," I stand up.

"Eat," Ava orders, pulling me back down.

"Yes, dear, do eat," Khivar insists. "Ava tells me you haven't been properly taking care of your body's nutritional needs. Just because you have alien DNA, my pet, does not make you invincible. You must take better care of yourself. I could not bear to lose my future Empress."

I shove some food in my mouth, chewing it bitterly. When did Ava become such a tattletale? She's not my mom. I can take perfectly good care of myself! For the most part…

"Where's Eagan?" I demand, noticing he is missing.

"My dear, for the remainder of the summit, Tess and I agreed it was best to keep him secured in his room so as not to chance any encounters with Zan," Khivar responds.

"He's not a damn pet. He's a child. He needs to be able to interact with people, and have someone to talk to and play with, and get some fucking fresh air. You can't keep him cooped up in that room all day. I simply won't allow it," I assert throwing down my fork stubbornly and pounding my fist on the table.

"My love-" Khivar starts.

"NO. You cannot keep him locked in his room," I cross my arms over my chest, refusing to be pacified on this issue.

"Alright, alright, dear. I'm sure we can come to a compromise. How about this, Eagan must remain in his quarters while the summit is in session, unless he is accompanied at all times by one of the Alliance members and the royal guards," Khivar relents, genuinely trying to please me.

"I suppose that could be acceptable," I scowl.

"My love, I am only concerned about his safety," Khivar takes my hand in his. "We don't want to take any chances. I would hate to see anything happen to the boy, for your sake above all."

"Yes, yes. I suppose it is important that Eagan be kept safe," I agree, pulling my hand out of Khivar's grasp and picking up my fork again.

I finish the food on my plate and excuse myself, dragging Ava along with me.

"Where the hell have you been?" I ask her, pulling her into a study.

"Makin' arrangements wit Khivar," Ava shrugs.

"Well, while you were making deals with the devil, Tess made an assassination attempt on me, which Max systematically manipulated in order blackmail me, which it suddenly occurs to me that you knew about...Ava!" I scold. "You are supposed to watch my back!"

"Sorry, Liz. I's don't agree wit their methods so much, but it be's imperative to get dat book. I guess I just ain't able turn my back so easy, Liz," Ava pleads.

"It's okay, Ava. I understand," I sigh, still flustered, but able to see where she is coming from. "I don't want you to be my servant. I just - just - don't go behind my back again, okay? I thought you weren't going to be in communication with Max anymore?"

"Max gived a head's up on Tess's attempt to poison ya. He also wuz tellin' me his plans 'cause he didn’t want me to be stumblin' in on it. Sorry, Liz," Ava apologizes with sincerity.

"It's alright," I assure her. "I think Max will have learned his lesson after this and won't be trying anything again any time soon."

"Uh, oh," Ava sighs. "What'd ya do?"

"Don't worry, I didn’t do anything to him that he didn't do to me," I smirk.

"It tore him up, ya know," Ava states, her voice soft. "To do that to you. It tore Max up. Michael or Isabel was gonna do it, but Max said no. He said he had ta be the one."

I frown, not particularly in the mood to humor where the conversation is going.

"Listen, Ava, I need you to teach me how to fight Tess and not get my ass kicked. I need to know what I did wrong," I change the subject.

"I been thinkin' lots 'bout dat, an' I dunno even where to begin," Ava informs me. "Ya burn up all yer energy, throwin' shots dat ain't even hitting her. And you's is makin' it so much work."

"Look, can you help me or not?" I ask still frowning.

"Yeah, yeah. Sure thing. Of course, I can help ya. I can make ya da best. You's gots a lot a power, ya jest gotta know how's ta use it," Ava states.

"Also, I need you to tell me everything you know about this book that Max is looking for. Why does he want it?" I wonder.

"He NEEDS it. Da Likoma can be's read by anyone. But when Max read it, or da one with da royal seal, da book reads different," Ava tells me.

"And Khivar doesn't know this," I guess.

"No, he don't. Otherwise he'd a made Tess read it a long time ago. She got a seal too, since she da queen. Not as powerful a seal as Max, since she jest be da queen, but she can read da book an' see most of da other stuff in it," Ava says. "Da Likoma is a real special book. It gots all this power dat no one undastands. It's mainly by da power of da book itself dat Khivar don't know how special da book is. Da book don't reveal its power ta its enemies. Harldy no one knows what da Likoma can really do."

"So what does Max hope to learn from the book?" I question.

"Max be wantin to know how he can harness da power from da Anima ta defeat Khivar. If he can't get his kingdom back through da summit, Max's prepared ta take Khivar down by force," Ava reports. "He ain't leavin' till he gets his son and you he says."

"He's so stinking arrogant. And it's more of a turn-on than you would think," I muse. "How does he plan to use the Anima, though?"

"Well, there's a old legend that da Anima was once controlled by da Kings of Antar and used ta do amazin' works. The Anima's extreme power. The Amina's supposed ta encompass 'all dat eva was, eva is, and eva will be.' Khivar heard dis an he been trying ta find a way ta use power from it ever since. But Khivar don't know how ta get the power from it. He only can get a little bit of it at a time, and at da expensive of practically killin the planet ta do so. But them old school kings, they used ta be able ta control the Anima naturally. Max needs some sorta key ta make use of it but Max don't know what it be or where he could be finding it," Ava answers.

"I see. And that's why you need me to find this book so badly. Do you have any clue where it might be, because I have to be honest, I've never heard any talk of it before," I frown.

"Dats only cuz Khivar don't know it bes important. Da codes in it are da old laws of Antar dat Khivar don't recognize anymore and dat's about all Khivar an his peeps knows 'bout da book. We's checked all da inventories and done a search of most places in da tower and palace. But da problem's dat dis place's real big and da Likoma could be's so many places, but we's got so little time ta be findin' it. The book's got some special energy signature. We are sure it ain't in da tower. We's run a complete search over there. But da palace has got more security. And it be's harder ta search without being caught. We finally narrowed down da location of da signature ta Khivar's chambers. So's Max needs ya to look 'round Khivar's rooms an' in his private library. Max's thinkin' it be in da library, 'cause Khivar don't think da Likoma's all that important, but we's can't get in there. Very high security an' Khivar don't let me go in theres," Ava says.

"I've never actually been in the library, but I think I could somehow get access. I guess it's a really big room and there millions of books, but if the book has a special energy signature it shouldn't be too hard to locate," I shrug.

"I's already programmed da energy signature inta dis scanner. You take it an' go see what you can find out," Ava tells me.

"Now?" I wonder.

"Yeah, now, whiles everyone's busy wit their other stuff," Ava answers.

I shrug. Okay, sure, might as well get it over with.

"Alright. You coming or waiting here? It won't take long. We can take the special secret passages that go through Khivar's quarters. They aren't in the same system as the main tunnels and practically no one knows they exist. I only found them because I stumbled on to a discrepancy in the dimensions of Khivar's rooms while I was hacking in the computer. When I went to check it out I found these abandoned passages. We can scan through the walls to see if the Likoma is in there. Actually breaking in, that will take some more creative maneuvering, since, as I'm sure you are already aware, Khivar's quarters are on an entirely different and separate security system. We can roam free through these secret passages pretty much though," I state.

"Give me yous hand," Ava says.

I hold out my hand to her palm up. She puts her hand over mine, palm down. Suddenly, in an intense connection, I feel her mind in mine, mapping the secret passages of the palace, learning them, all within the span of an instant.

Ava draws her hand back. I stare at her in awe, my hand still extended.

"Wicked," I breathe. "Teach me to do that! I want to learn!"

"K," Ava smiles. "What ya gots ta do is, not force yourself into da mind. Embrace da other person's mind, use their own mind for navigatin', don't try ta do it youself, it takes ya too long. Relax. Intertwine yer mind with their unconsciousness. Guide them to where ya wanna go but let them be da one doin' all the work, Liz. Their mind knows itself best an' if you tell it what to do an' follow it yous will be better off than doin' all the work an' serchin' youself. It's hard ta explain, you really just have to learn by tryin' youself. Here, try it wit me. Try to find an' memorize da layout of Max's ship."

I take hold of her extended hand and try to persuade her subconscious mind into providing me a map of Max's ship. It takes me a while to learn how to manipulate on this level, but with some patience, after a while I begin to get the hang of it.

"Da best part is," Ava informs me, "dat if ya don't want 'em ta knows yous in their head, ya, don't have to mindwarp sos much when ya work on the unconscious level as when yous working with consciousness. That’s anotha reason why it' fasta."

"You need to show me what I did wrong when I fought Tess. From the very beginning, she was on the offense and I was on the defense. I didn't stand a chance," I complain.

"I knows," Ava grimaces. "I kinda made ya a trainin' program. Ta help ya learn hows ta use yous powers. I don't think I's can stomach seein' you get yous ass whooped up on so's bad again."

"Gee, thanks," I scowl at her bluntness.

"Here," Ava hands me a holographic disk. "Yous practice for a bit, an' I'll go scan Khivar's rooms."

"Okay," I nod. "But be careful not to touch any of the walls or you will trip his security system. You can't go in his rooms and retrieve it, if you do locate it, without being detected. If you find it we'll have to put our heads together and come up with a plan to get it out."

"Yeah," Ava nods. "Da problem ain't gonna be findin' it, it's gonna be gettin' it outta there. Don't worry, Liz. I'll be extra careful not ta touch anything. I'll be right back."

I nod and pop the holographic disk into the computer. The program begins and a pleasant voice begins to give me instructions. I'm supposed to hit this stupid little yellow butterfly that nimbly flutters around the room with pretty amazing quickness and is armed with a shield.

After a few misses that take a couple good-sized chunks out the walls, the computer program instructs me to aim with my mind and not my hand. I try this and it is much more effective. Not only is it easier to hit the butterfly, it requires less energy to do so. When I miss with my mind concentrated only on the butterfly and not just in the direction of it, the shot dissipates into the air. I have to be quick to hit the butterfly off-guard before it can erect its shield.

At last, I hit the butterfly and move on to the next level. Unfortunately, in the next level consists of only more butterflies and I have to hit them all within a certain time limit. The worst part is that when I mess up, the program starts all over again at level one which becomes pretty frustrating when I'm at level five or so and mess up. Luckily I catch on pretty quick.

Just when I think I'm getting the hang of the training program, it dares me to do the impossible. I come to a level where I'm supped to hit about a hundred butterflies, which in itself isn't all that challenging anymore, except that I have to do it blindfolded. How in the world I am supposed to take out a target I can't even see is beyond me. I make a few blind shots before the computer instructs me to reach out with my mind to find the targets. It seems horrendously stupid at first, until I am able stretch my mind to see beyond the visual plane and pick up on the energy signals of the butterflies that the computer is emitting, which is easier said that done.

Finally, I beat the program and the blindfold it provided disappears from over my eyes. Ava is standing before me.

"Impressive," she compliments me. "It takes most people at least a week ta master dat program. You's gots a real strong mind Liz, lotta power hidin' in there. I kin tell. You's jest needs ta be trained hows ta tap inta it."

"I hope so. I think this program of yours actually helped a lot. Did you locate the Likoma?" I ask her.

"Yeah. It's in da library jest as we's suspected," Ava informs me.

"Great. Now how the heck do we get it out?" I ask her.

"I dunno," Ava shrugs.

"Well that's encouraging," I reply bitterly.

"Hey, who says I's supposed ta have all da answers?" Ava wonders.

"Good point. I guess it just seems like at any given point in time you know way more than me," I respond. "We'll just have to be creative then. Do we have time to retrieve it before the summit?"

"It depends on how creative ya are," Ava replies smugly.

"True," I smirk. "What if I just make it up as I go along. First I'll get into to Khivar's quarters which will be a piece of cake. Then I'll go to the library. Also, not very hard. See, there, problem solved."

Let's not drag this little task on. Besides, I'm feeling pretty ambitious right now.

"Aight, fair 'nough, but what ya gonna tell Khivar when he wants ta knows why yous in da library? And how we gonna switch da books witout anyone noticin'?" Ava questions.

I appreciate what she's trying to do, but in my mind, making it up as I go along entails that I don't have to plan ahead…

"I don't know. I'll tell Khivar that I wanted to read some of his books and do some research for the summit so I have some idea of what everyone's talking about. We'll switch the book out at the secret passage. As long as I open it from the inside it won't set off any alarms. I'll break into the computer system and manually override it so that it recognizes the fake Likoma as the real one. Alright, let's go. That's all the planning I got time for. You go get the fake book from Max and meet me in the secret passage outside of Khivar's room. I'm not taking any more excuses so you better just get a move on it," I tell Ava triumphantly.

See, I can give orders. I can wear the pants around here. I'm not entirely uselessly passive.

"Yes ma'am," Ava salutes me before taking off to retrieve the fake book.

You know, for some reason though, I really hope the fate of this planet doesn't rest on Ava's and my ability to brainstorm.

I stroll off to Khivar's quarters. Of course the guards let me in. Why wouldn't they? I ask them if Khivar is inside but they don't understand a word I'm saying. And of course, I can't understand the garble they are saying back to me.

Yeah… Story of my life. No one ever understands me. And do I understand them?

"KHIVAR?" I call out his name hoping he's not here.

No answer. I decide to look around to be sure he's really gone.

"Hey, uh, KHIVAR, you in here?" I parade through his rooms.

There's just something about being in the big guy's chambers when he's not here that really leads me to want to be mischievous.

" YooHoo! KHIIII-VAAAAR!" I holler.

Heh, heh, heh. He's gone.

"Liz!" Khivar speaks my name from behind me, scaring the LIVING DAYLIGHTS out of me.

I jump like ten feet. Cripes. He's such a friggin' snake, sneaking up on people like that.

"Liz, my pet, what a wonderful surprise!" Khivar kisses my cheek and brushes past me to enter his office. "How nice of you to come visit me before the summit! I've been so busy lately that I've hardly had time to see you, but I think of you all the time, dearest. I've missed our time together so much, love. When things die down a bit, we'll have to make up for all the lost time, precious. Last night I had the most delicious fantasy that I can't wait to act out. All I can say is that it involves handcuffs and lots of hot wax."

BLAAAHHHHH!!!! BLahh. BlaHHH! Blah. That's the sound of me hurling at Khivar's dirty plans for us.

"Mmmmm, sounds like a blast," I lie gingerly.

A blast of puke flying everywhere.

"Oh, my love, I assure you it will be the ride of your life," Khivar smiles devilishly to himself as he sorts through the papers on his desk.

Damn, I really hope I'm dead if it comes down to handcuffs and hot wax.

"Soooo, Khivar, I was actually kind of wondering if I could look through your library a bit," I say.

"Why?" Khivar asks flatly, setting back down the papers he is holding in his hands.

"Well, you know, I just wanted to catch up on my reading, since I haven't opened a book for, what, like, seven years. I was just, you know, curious if I could still read. I've heard it's kind of like riding a bike, where you never really forget how to do it, but still, uh, yeah," I realize I am rambling on like a moron.

Khivar doesn't say anything. He just looks hard at me, as if he is trying to decipher what's going on in my head. I feel his mind reach out and try to probe mine.

"Also, I kind of wanted to read a little bit about this side of the universe, just so that I had a little background knowledge for the summit," I continue quickly, at least giving my plausible reasoning in hopes that Khivar will back down and stop trying to drill a hole in my mind. "I just thought it might be nice if I at least knew a little bit about what people were talking about, since I am going to be the Empress and all. Before our engagement party I tal-"

"Liz, dearest," Khivar interrupts me suddenly. "Don't you go worrying your pretty little head about such nonsense. You just leave the politics to me, love. You don't need to know anything because I'll take care of everything for you. Besides, my pet, none of those books are in English so you couldn't possibly read them anyways."

My pretty little head? HELLO? This isn't that civil war, and I'm not some dopey southern belle.

Khivar picks up his papers and begins to look them over again.

"Couldn't I just get the computer to translate the books and read them to me? The computer does that, right?" I refuse to give up so easily.

Khivar just stares at me. It really starts to creep me out. Khivar drops his papers down on the desk and walks over to me. He takes my hands in his.

"Liz, my precious pet, there is absolutely no reason you should let this summit get you all worked up like this. I know you've been under a lot of stress lately, we all have, but I assure you that I am in complete control and am looking after everything. There is absolutely nothing in those books that you need to know. I've thought of it all and have covered all the bases. You are in good hands, love," Khivar squeezes my hands tightly, upping the creep factor.

"I guess you are right. I mean what do I need to know about history and politics anyways?" I concede airily with a light laugh.

Khivar releases my hands visibly relieved.

"I know I am right love. You don't need to get all worked up over nothing. Now come, let us take a short walk before the summit commences," Khivar grins at me, holding out his arm.

"You know I would love to, my love, I too greatly miss our time together, but I must go catch up with Ava. The palace is still very unfamiliar to her and she hardly knows anyone here but me so I feel really bad leaving her alone," I display a distraught face. "Well, I mean, Ava knows Lonnie and Rath, but they never got on so well back on Earth."

"Ah, yes, Ava. The poor girl is greatly in need of some guidance after spending such an awfully long time in service of that despicable Max Evans. I'm so glad you two get along so well. I consider Ava a sister to me. Afterall, she and Tess are genetically the same. Dear Ava just ended up stranded a bit longer than my Tessy. Ava isn't quite as much of a go-getter as darling Tess is, but I'm determined that after she becomes accustomed to life here she will surely buck up," Khivar responds disturbingly cheerful.

"Yes....Let's hope so," I reply at a loss for words because there were so many things wrong with what he just said. "So yeah, I should be getting to Ava. But I will see you at the summit, love."

I kiss him goodbye, but it is the most uncomfortable, unfeeling kiss of my life.

"Alright, my pet," Khivar nods and goes back to his papers.

I leave his quarters quickly, as if staying in his presence a moment more would suffocate me.

I walk through a few hallways before I hack into the computer to check and make sure no one is following me or monitoring me. Stealthily, I enter the secret passages. The ability to manipulate molecular structures is such a great gift.

I pull a glass globe out of my pocket and invoke it to glow. In the ancient days, before the massive computer was built into the palace, these were sort of the flashlights that Antarians used. I start toward the library in search of Ava. I walk only a little ways before I literally run into Ava.

"Ava!" I hiss. "What are you doing? Why aren’t you using a glow globe? I nearly wet my pants you scared me so much!"

Cripes, I'm lucky I didn't have a heart attack with all the scares I've already had today.

I brighten the glow globe so that I can see her more clearly.

"Don't need one," Ava shrugs. "I kin sees just fine wit my mind. I thought ya could feel me's comin' toward ya."

"Yes, well, I can't, so next time, give me a heads up!" I whisper.

"Okay," Ava speaks softly. "You should really learn ta use yer mind better though. Whatcha doin' here anyways? I thought the plan wuz fer you ta pass the book through the wall ta me."

"Yes, well, Crazy Khivar was in his rooms and for some reason he really, really doesn't want me in the library," I tell her, keeping my voice low. "So I'm going to go to him tonight and after he falls asleep, I'm going to dig through the library and find out what he's hiding along as well as grab our book."

Ava scowls when I say I'm going to "go" to Khivar.

"You guys don't have any wicked sleeping potions I could use, do you? That tranquilizer was killer. Although, I'd be looking for something a little less painful so he doesn't detect it," I surmise.

Ava looks relieved.

"Yeah, I could hook yous up wit sum good stuff," Ava nods.

"Good. I'll get some strong wine and slip it in it," I scheme.

"Aight, we's better go get ready fer da summit then," Ava says.

For the first time I notice the book in her hands.

"Can I look at that?" I ask.

"Sure," Ava hands it to me.

I open it up and it has all sorts of neat pictures and lots of writing I can't understand. I'll have to find a hand-held translator to take with me tonight when I snoop through the library. I close the book.

"We should plant this by the library first, so when I need it later it's already there," I decide.

I'm not sure how much I want to involve Ava with my later plans because I'm not sure how much she is going to approve of them. I'm going to do what I have to do to get things done. That's just how it is.

We take the book to the passage lining the library and hide it there. With these alien powers, you can easily hide just about anything just about anywhere.

We take the passages back towards my room.

"Where are we now?" Ava asks curiously.

"We're right outside of Tess's rooms," I whisper. "These passages mostly run through Khivar's rooms, but one of them stretches all the way back past my room and keeps going. I've never followed it to the end though.. They run right along side the regular tunnels most of the time. Theses are a lot smaller though and get pretty tightly spaced in some places. Sometimes I wonder if ancient Antarians were midgets."

"Not dat I know of. They looked purdy similar ta humans, from what I've been told. Antarians an' humans are very closely genetically related. Dat's why we's got sent ta Earth. Our genetics kin easily be combined wit humans and we pretty well blend wit them. There be's a few differences, though. Antarians got much stronger minds than humans, but their bodies are much more fragile. We heal fasta when we's get hurt, 'cuz we evolved ta in order ta survive," Ava informs me. "We ain't no midgets though."

"Good to know," I nod.

I just don't think I would have found a midget form of Max as attractive. Not that he doesn't have a great personality outside of the blackmailing, abandoning, cheating, and backstabbing he's done.

Ava and I enter my room though the wall.

Curious, I peer into my bathroom to find it empty and completely in order. So the bastard escaped. Good for him. I do hope he's not going to let something like this continue to bother him. I'd hate for anything to come between us…oh wait, never mind, it's a little too late for that.

Ava is getting dressed for the summit when Lonnie enters our room dramatically.

"Where you guys been?!" Lonnie demands. "I been sittin' in da west conference room wit Tess where us women is supposda meet up foreva! Get you's asses in gear. I can't stand ta listen ta her drone on any longer."

"Really? I didn't know anything about it," I reply.

"Well, if ya'd listen ta you's messages from Khivar once in a while ya might know what's going on!" Lonnie points out.

Frankly, if I gave a damn what Khivar had to say I would listen to my messages. Unfortunately, I don't.

"Hurry up. We gotta wear these stupid things on our head and da servants be's waitin' ta put 'em on. They is supposda stop people from reading our minds. It's traditional headwear or sumthin," Lonnie explains, yanking me and Ava out of my room.

We scurry down the hall after the pacemaster. When Lonnie's on a mission she really moves.

"This ought to be rich," I muse to Ava. "We get special hats for the summit."

"Shut up and keep up or Khivar wills have our asses," Lonnie shoots back at me, half kidding, half serious.

"Hey, don't worry about it. Me and Khivar are tight. We're like this," I cross my fingers.

"Just 'cause you is schtoopin' da boss don't mean he gives da rest of us breaks," Lonnie retorts.

"Hey, hey, hey! I KNOW you've schtooped the boss, too, so don't give me that kind of crap. I think everyone's schtooped the boss at some time or another. We'll except maybe, Ava," I look at Ava questioningly.

"He just thinks we's schtooped," Ava shrugs.

"You and your superior mental abilities," I grumble.

Still, I'm happy that at least someone hasn't had sex with my fiancé. It's almost embarrassing to pretend that I'm so naïve as to be engaged to a man who has slept with half the galaxy.

"Computer, strike this conversation from logs, authorization Parker2, code 4519," I utter.

I don't really know that I want Khivar knowing we talk about who has "schtooped" him.

"Yo, how's you's learn so much 'bout da computa, Lizzie?" Lonnie asks.

"Well, you know, since I never listen to any of those horridly long and boring memos, I have a lot of free time on my hands that I can spend just getting to know our omnipotent friend the computer," I respond.

"Girl, you's gotta lotta lip in ya today," Lonnie smirks, opening the conference room door for us.

"It's been a rough day," I tell her honestly, walking in. "It's not every morning you wake up to find that someone's tried to kill you."

I glare at Tess. Except she is wearing this large, hideously fruity thing on her head that I can't help but point and laugh at.

"Hardy, har, har! Laugh it up now Liz, but you have to wear one too," Tess grins evilly.

I stop laughing.

"I am NOT wearing that," I state.

"Khivar's orders," Tess responds snottily. "You have to."

I don't give a fuck what Khivar says I have to put on my head. I'm not wearing that. This is where I draw the line.

"It's a traditional Antarian headdress," Lonnie explains.

"I'm not Antarian. You folks can wear the neat hats and I'll watch," I cross my arms over my chest. "Your ancestors made these kind of bad choices, not mine."

"Hey, I just married into the family. If she doesn't have to wear it neither do I," Tess whines.

"Yo, what planet you queen of?" Lonnie questions Tess.

"Antar," Tess answers with a frown.

"Then show sum respect!" Lonnie demands, putting Tess in her place.

Tess narrows her eyes at Lonnie but she doesn't say anything.

"Khivar wants us ta wear these stupid things cuz they are traditional an' he wants ta remind certain peeps who's in charge of Antar," Lonnie says.

"Is Khivar going to wear a hat like that?" I ask.

"No," Lonnie replies slowly.

"Then neither are we," I insist.

These gals have got to stop letting Khivar push them around when it comes down to stupid details like this. We must preserve our dignity!

"But these hat's supposda protect ours minds from bein' read," Lonnie reminds me. "It's gonna be lots harder ta keep others out at da summit cuz there are so many peeps wit strong powers tryin' ta see what we be thinkin' 'bout."

It's hard enough now.

"I hardly believe all these feathers and frills are going to shelter my brain. Khivar's not wearing anything?" I wonder.

"He's wearing a little cap. So are the other members of the Alliance," Tess volunteers.

"Well then, we need to find us some caps," I assert.

I take Tess's dopey, fruity hat off her, and we set off to find Khivar. Luckily, we don't have to go far because he is in the conference room across the hall with the other Alliance members. They are all milling around, chatting amongst themselves, waiting for it to be time for the summit to commence.

"My love," I greet Khivar with a steamy kiss, and sit seductively in his lap.

"Liz, my pet! It's always wonderful to see you," Khivar grins at me. "Where's your headdress? You should go get it on. The summit is about to begin."

"Dearest, the girls and I, well, we have a few objections to those crazy hats you wanted us to wear. You see, we feel that the other 'Antarians' out there are only going to find our ridiculous headwear amusing. We've discussed it and we all find the crazy hats inappropriate, my love," I tell him gently.

I bat my eyes.

Ava, Tess and Lonnie, nod in agreement.

"Okay," Khivar shrugs. "Tarenk, get the girls some caps. I'm just glad you girls were finally able to agree and come together on something."

"Thank you," I kiss Khivar appreciatively.

I get up and follow Tarenk with Lonnie, Ava, and Tess. Either he's in a really good mood or somebody has an even stronger mind than I give them credit for. I kind of want to put my money on Ava.

"Tramp," Tess hisses at me when we are out of earshot of Khivar.

"Did you want to wear the crazy hat?" I shoot back, keeping my voice low.

Tess scowls sourly at me.

"Oh, you know you're one too," I grumble under my breath, rolling my eyes.

I take the little cap Tarenk hands me and place it on my head with a smile.

I'm ready to get this show on the road.




TBC......



I'm going to give a teaser from a future part sometime in the next week I think. I'm working on the next part but I'm not sure when it will be out. Soonish. Feedback helps. It really does because when I read what you have to say then I get really anxious to tell the rest of the story and show you how everything turns out. Thanks for all of your support you guys!!

Thank you all for the wonderful feedback to my author's note. I'm going to come back later with more response and thanks to you all but right now I'm just going to post the new part. I finally made myself sit down and fill in the blanks because I really wanted to give something back to all you guys because you are such great readers.



-Previously-

"Tramp," Tess hisses at me when we are out of earshot of Khivar.

"Did you want to wear the crazy hat?" I shoot back, keeping my voice low.

Tess scowls sourly at me.

"Oh, you know you're one too," I grumble under my breath, rolling my eyes.

I take the little cap Tarenk hands me and place it on my head with a smile.

I'm ready to get this show on the road.



Chapter 12

I sigh. For some reason I thought the summit was going to be a lot more exciting than this.

I drum my fingers on the tabletop in front of me.

Tess narrows her eyes pointedly at me.

I sigh again.

It's going to be a long afternoon.

The thing I didn't realize about summits is that they are complete and utter chaos. Everyone has their own complex agenda and their own case they want to make. And they get to make it. That's the truly astonishing thing.

All the representatives, ambassadors, leaders, gather in this gigantic, circular assembly hall in the tower made especially to house the summit. Each party is allotted its own little alcove in the arena-like hall. The representatives in their tiered factions form a ring around a floor on which sits the mediators of the event.

A delegation of members from some group known as the Cooperative of Minds directs the summit and sits as arbitrators for the proceedings. Their job is to be the peacemakers, the negotiators, the conciliators, the judges, through this whole process.

The Cooperative of Minds is apparently a school of advanced thinkers that exists outside of the realms and rules of the galaxy. Their minds are unquestionably stronger than any others in the known universe. They are evidently in possession of several humble planets through out space. Their technology is far superior and millenniums ahead of anyone else. Their ships and space stations are outfitted with shields and cloaking devices that make them entirely impenetrable.

The colonies of the Cooperative are made up of the brightest minds in all of the universe. When the Cooperative becomes aware of an advanced mind, a genius in some field, the Cooperative invites and initiates them into their community. Race, wealth, sex, species all mean nothing to the Cooperative who is only interested in metal ability.

Apparently this Cooperative of Minds wants nothing much to do with the petty affairs of the rest of the life in the Universe. That's pretty much why they oversee all summits though. Because they are entirely impartial. They can't be bribed. What could anyone bribe them with? Several centuries ago, after being invited to rule over one summit, the Cooperative then established that they would preside over all summits henceforth and no one has dared to question their authority.

I personally don't think they are trying to control everyone and secretly have a plan to take over the universe like some members of the Alliance do. It seems like if they wanted to take over the universe, they would have by now. I like to think that they like to exercise their minds with our crude, unsophisticated problems, and even welcome the interaction with the rest of us primitive thinkers. And above all, they know how justly needed their services here are.

The first day of the summit is extreme pandemonium. Everyone gets to individually present their cases before the Cooperative. A member of the Cooperative hears each individual plea and charge. The Cooperative then comes together and rules over the simpler matters. For the more complex problems the Cooperative convenes a discussion between all sides of the issue at once. If the matter is really complex and involves or affects more than just a few parties, the matter is brought before the whole summit for discussion and then the whole summit takes a vote. The votes are weighted, which is ridiculous if you ask me, depending on who, what, and how many recognized organizations the representative represents.

So today the Cooperative hears all the individual cases and pleas. Here's the crazy part though. Each of the 12 members of the Cooperative all hear a plea at once so at any given time there are at least 12 different conversations going on here in the summit assembly hall. There are also discussions going on between representative parties, as well as within representative parties.

The technology here at the summit it is incredible. The Cooperative has loaned some pretty cool gadgets out. First of all, instead of swearing on a bible, there is your standard, high-tech lie detector. You place your hand of the panel in front of you when you speak so the summit knows you're not pulling their leg. Also, there is another panel that you can touch if you want to project pictures from your mind on to a view screen which I think is pretty neat. The view screens also display people across the room close up when they talk which isn't as impressive. But, the view screens do this split screen thing when multiple people are talking, which is simple but kind of fun. There are instant translations of any language when you touch another panel. And you don't even have to speak if you don't want to; the translator can communicate what you tell it to with your mind. Tell me that is not cool.

And everyone is wearing stupid, crazily designed hats to help deflect people from reading or influencing their minds without their knowledge. Let's just say we wouldn't have stood out in the traditional headgear by any means.

But after few hours of sitting around in my hat, gawking at other people's hats, and fiddling with the technology, I became bored. So now I just sit around wishing this whole thing was over. I mean it is only fun to project Tess on to the view screen with horns in her forehead so many times. I made Khivar wear the traditional headgear that we were supposed to and even that got old. I tried giving Nicholas an afro but that just wasn't fun. And I would definitely never look good with lime green hair. It's just not becoming and makes my skin take on a funky tint. And it's disturbing to see what I might look like if I had a third boob.

I look over and notice Rath has dozed off. I elbow him. He sits up, startled.

"Psst, Rath," I whisper. "Want to play rock, paper, scissors?"

That game takes on a whole new light played between telekinetics.

"No," He replies indignantly. "Dis be's important. You's need ta listen."

He closes his eyes again and goes back to sleep. What a jerk. Not only that, but how boring.

I decide to put a new spin on Where's Waldo and search the assembly hall for Max. I'd use to computer but then Khivar might see that I had done a search for Max. Plus that's just too easy and doesn't waste enough time. After about fifteen minutes when I am just about ready to give up, I finally spot him.

Isabel is sitting next to him and Michael next to her, and they are all three wearing black. Even from here, Max looks way hot in black. That purple bimbo Aunkana is on Max's other side along with some more purple people. Max finishes his conversation with the view screen and sits back.

As if knowing I was watching him, he looks directly over at me and meets my eye from across the expanse of the assembly hall.

Hi. Max's mind easily reaches out to mine.

So much for the caps. They might make nice frisbees though. I suppose you can communicate with your mind if you really try to, but Lonnie said it would be difficult to communicate with anything but the computer.

Hi. I respond.

How are you? Max asks.

Bored senseless. How are you?

Busy and tired. But the work I'm doing is worth the exhaustion.

You tell me that I need to take care of myself, but what about you? Don't wear yourself out, Max. It is far too important that you have your wits about you.

You sound like Isabel.

Yeah, well, she's got a few good ideas in her head. You escaped the bathroom alright, I see. I hope it didn’t take you too long. I know you have a lot of things to do.

Now I feel really bad for wasting his time like that. I can sense how worn-out he is right now.

It didn't take too long. Michael, Aunkana, and I threw a little party in your bathroom, I hope you don't mind.

Technically, it's your bathroom, since you are the rightful owner of that palace.

True.

What's she like?

Who?

Aunkana.

Oh. She's nice. I think you'll like her once you get to know her. She's very interested in science, like you. She knows a lot about a lot of things. And she's very thoughtful, like you. She is always doing all these things for other people and thinking of their needs first. And she's very strong, like you. She does what she has to do. Except she's not you, though. So, she's really not like you at all.

Max, that girl doesn't even exist anymore, the girl you think of me as. For all practically purposes Liz Parker is dead.

She is not dead! Liz that girl lives in you; she is a part of you. You just don't see her there yet.

Max, no matter what happens, I'll never be who I was, the girl you fell in love with.

You will always be Liz Parker, no matter what happens, and that is woman I am in love with.

I hesitate, but only for a moment.

How can you love me? I ask. I'm so horrible, especially to you.

How can I not love you? You will never be horrible to me. Liz, I've seen the things you've done, the things you thought you had to do to survive, the things that haunt you. But I know that those things are not you, because I've seen your soul. And even if I hadn't, I would still believe in you because I love you and that's just how it is. You are hurt and confused and scared. And with all my heart I want to reach you and comfort you and bring you peace. I only love you more, that you have struggled, that you are strong, that you will overcome.

I've made so many mistakes, Max.

So have I, Liz.

It's not the same.

Isn't it? The mistakes you've made, the mistakes you will make, I've long since forgiven them all. I know you aren't perfect, just as I know I'm not perfect. I've made bad choices too, but I choose not to let them continue to get the best of me, I choose not to make those mistakes again. Liz, I've done so many things wrong with you, and I am so sorry. I will always be sorry for the poor judgments I've made, but not even a thousand apologies can change the past. I can only love you, and continue to love you, and try my best to do the best by you. Because I know that for the rest of my life, no matter how hard I try, I will still make mistakes sometimes. Hopefully nothing like the mistakes in the past, but there will still be times when I stumble, when I will need your forgiveness and your love to pull me through, to pull us through.

I don't even know what to say to him. My eyes sting with tears that threaten to fall.

Oh, Max. I sigh.

I love you, Liz. I will always love you.

Max, I-

A heavy hand clamps down on my shoulder severing our connection. I whip my head around to find myself under Khivar's measuring gaze.

"What are you doing?" Khivar asks me, his tone unreadable.

"Just day-dreaming," I sigh wistfully with a soft smile on my face.

"About?" Khivar questions.

"You," I reply seductively. "And the things we are going to do together tonight."

"Really?" Khivar gleams.

"Yes," I grin wickedly.

I squeeze his hand and send him the most revolting, vulgar image I can conjure. Khivar's eyes go wide and he looks at me incredulously.

"I like," Khivar states, obviously pleased. "I like very much, my pet."

He bends down and kisses my neck, his arms wrapping around me from behind. He nibbles on my ear, and I play my part perfectly, reaching a hand up behind me and running it through his blonde hair. A hand moves over one of my breasts and crushes it mercilessly.

"I want to take you," He growls in my ear. "Right here, right now."

He licks my neck, from my collarbone to my earlobe, sending me the most disturbing, revolting image that I strongly suspect will haunt me for the rest of my life. Shivers course up and down my spine uncontrollably.

"Tonight, lover," Khivar whispers, his lips brushing over mine once.

He stands, releasing his hold on me, and I look up at him. A smirk crosses his lips as he sneers across the room. I follow his gaze to find Max glaring back at Khivar, his jaw clenched. Khivar runs a hand through my long hair, stroking it very deliberately.

He only does it to piss you off. Don't let it bother you. I reach out to Max.

He thinks he owns you. Max responds still staring down Khivar.

He does. This is a shrouded prison he keeps here and we are all his slaves. He traps us with our own minds, keeps us here and insure our loyalty with the one thing that we could never let go of, and leaves us to rot in his corruption. I inform Max bitterly.

For a long while Max is silent. Them he breaks his eye contact with Khivar and looks directly at me.

You are not going to be slave to anyone, Liz. I will NOT allow it. Max states adamantly.

Max's attention is called away by Isabel who is speaking to the view screen and calls Max to join her.

Max glances back at me once and boldly mouths "I love you," not caring who sees.

"His vanity disgusts me," Khivar scoffs and goes about his business once again.

I nod my head in agreement, but inside a warm tingle surges through me.

A member of the Cooperative begins to speak on our view screens and then the screen splits as human-like creature that is pale green in coloring and entirely bald begins to speak, and the Alliance is called into a conference.

The man speaks about the conditions of his home planet of Keon, and how the Empire is starving his people, forcing entirely unreasonable taxes on exports and imports to the planet. He shows an image of a starving family and children. The Keonian presents statistics about his planet, before and after it feel under the Empire's grasp, attempting to show the devastation to his people. He claims that his planet was always peaceful and friendly, and that Keon only joined the Empire to save themselves from the destruction a war with the Alliance to maintain their freedom would bring. However, the mass starvation and poverty his once prosperous planet is now facing has caused them to believe that pulling out of the Alliance would be in Keon's best interest. Their senate voted to evict the Empire and leave their rule, but to their displeasure, the agents of the Alliance refuse to leave. Alliance ships still dock on Keon freely, using them as a major space station, and taxes have only gotten steeper than ever.

Khivar speaks back, claiming that Keon is entirely disorganized, unproductive, and uses its resources poorly. He says their hunger and scarcity is their own fault. Khivar states that Alliance agents are only remaining on Keon to assist the people into their own rule and to finish up Alliance business there. Khivar calls the man ungrateful for all the work the Alliance has done for him and his people.

The delegate of the Cooperative reminds Khivar that there is substantial evidence against the Alliance in this case. The Alliance no longer has jurisdiction over a planet once it rejects the Alliance's rule.

The Keonian Ambassador pleads for the taxes to be lowered. He shows more images of his people struggling to survive.

Khivar is about to insult the Keonian again when I step in before he can.

I ask the man to display his statistics again. I ask him if he has the statistics for the other planets within the Alliance and through out the galaxy. He searches for them and brings them up on the view screen.

Khivar tries to intercede but the Cooperative delegate refuses to recognize him. I quickly skim though the computer in front of me, gathering information on the situation.

I remind the Keonian that the galactic economy has changed and the Alliance is doing him a service by facilitating trade for and conducting trade with Keon, a major exporter of resources that have become plentiful in that region or are in demand only by the Alliance. Often times the Alliance has to act as a middle man for Keon to get their goods out because Keon lacks the space travel capabilities to trade with planets far away; the Alliance end up shipping their goods to distant planets that will buy them, and bringing back to Keon the goods that they need. Without any involvement by the Alliance, their profit would still be minimal at this point. However, I agree with him that the taxes have become unfair.

I suggest that taxing be reconfigured on cost of product shipping basis for the products the Alliance is shipping, negotiating in a small profit for the labor of the Alliance who is doing Keon a service. I move to drop the taxes on items sold directly to the Alliance for the Alliance's use specifically. In return, provided a satisfactory agreement is reached, Keon will have to consent to letting the Alliance have free access to their space port, as the Alliance will be conducting business with them. I remind him that the Alliance has always left their ports open to all ships, including Keonian ships, because of the business that it promotes. However, forcing the Empire's ports to be closed to Keonians would be truly devastating to the business of the planet of Keon and hardly so to the Empire.

Tarenk comes to my aid, backing my suggestions, answers some questions of the Keonian Ambassador, and sets up a time to discuss further negotiations.

I wonder if Khivar will be pissed at me. I just didn't want him to irk the Keonian further and ignore the obvious suffering of the planet of Keon. I also didn't want to completely fall at the Keonian's feet and look like I didn't have any balls to him and the rest of the galaxy. And I want Khivar to know that I'm not just some pretty, piece of flesh, prize bride that silently sits at his side all day.

I sigh, hoping that the summit activities for today will be over soon. The Alliance has several more conferences, one right after another, before the summit finally concludes.

Khivar, of course, pulls me aside right away as soon as the summit is over for the day.

"That was very bold of you, my dear," Khivar smirks. "I have to admit I am very impressed by your negotiation tactics. But still it is not very wise for you to cross me. It is by privilege alone that you even attend the summit. You could be sitting around all day in the palace with Eagan. That might be a safer place for you. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I nod as I am forced to, but with a frown.

That bastard. How dare he threaten me!

"Liz, dear, don't be glum. You haven't really done anything wrong...yet. Though, you've become quite arrogant lately, and it is starting to disturb me. You are only alive to serve me. That is your sole purpose. Don't ever forget that I brought you back from the dead, gave you a life, made you who you are today. You belong to me, Liz," Khivar asserts. "And I can do with you what I wish. I have the power here. You can do whatever you want as long as you remember who is in charge and make sure that you please me. But if you don't please me…"

I hate him. I hate him with so much passion that I can barely stop myself from trying to burn him alive.

"You didn't do any damage this time. I was actually very glad that you appeased the Keonians. It will be nice to have them off our ass until further arrangements are made," Khivar informs me.

"Further arrangements?" I question.

"Yes, well, we can't very well let a planet pull out of the Empire or everyone's going to think that they can just do that if they feel like it. However, luckily for the Keonians, despite their betrayal of the Alliance, the Alliance will come to their aid when a nearby system of planets unexpectedly attacks the defenseless planet of Keon," Khivar's cold blue eyes pierce mine.

He's going to pay someone to attack Keon so that it will realign with the Alliance for protection and end up being robbed by the Alliance all over again. He always finds a way to get what he wants. Khivar has never terrified me more than he does right now, looking at me with his pale, soulless eyes.

"Liz, you are to be seen and not heard. I love you, my pet, but do not test me. Most of the beautiful things I own are kept in a glass case at all times. I'd hate for you to have to join them," Khivar shakes his head remorsefully. "But cheer up, my love. You most certainly can make it up to me tonight."

Khivar pats my head before walking away, leaving me fuming.

Ava rushes to my side as soon as she sees Khivar has left.

"That man is going down if it kills me," I utter, my voice so low and definite it scares me.

"Liz, maybe you's shouldn't be pushin' it sos much. You still needa be's on his good side. He be's a very dangerous man," Ava says worriedly.

"Yeah, I know. Listen, I need your help tonight okay. Khivar sent me an image of the most twisted fantasy and I think you might be able to help me out. Get the sleeping potion or whatever you were going to give me and meet me in my room later tonight, after supper. We're going to give Khivar a night that he'll never forget," I state.

Ava nods, hurrying off to take care of business.

It fleetingly occurs to me that the ease that Ava gets around with is quite scary. And it make me wonder if Tess is the same way…

I head straight toward Eagan's room to pay him a visit. The poor little guy is almost literally caged now.

"Elizabeth!" Eagan cries when I walk through the door.

He runs to hug me tightly.

"How are you?" I ask him.

"Good," Eagan smiles.

"That's good," I answer. "You want to go outside for a little while?"

"YES!" Eagan starts jumping around. "Let's go!"

Eagan grabs my hand and drags me to the door eagerly. I inform the guards that we are going outside for a walk. Khivar's guards, unlike the other palace hands, understand very well when they are spoken to. The guards nod and follow us.

We walk through the garden together and Eagan tells me about the new toy Tess gave him. Probably to pacify him. She's always given him lots of toys instead of spending any time with him. The worst thing is that they are all generic Earth toys. She doesn't even bother to look for around for any real Antarian toys. Tess just waves her hand to make any random toy she can remember from Earth to assuage Eagan.

I suddenly look up and realize that Eagan and I are standing next to the Anima. How entirely odd. I don't even remember coming out this far.

"What's that?" Eagan asks, looking at the Anima curiously.

"It's called the Anima," I answer, gazing at the mystically sphere before me.

The surface of the Anima starts to change from its rough metallic outer surface and becomes completely smooth. The water in the fountain flows slower. The surface of the Anima now reflects Eagan and I back.

The Eagan in the Anima is waving at me excitedly. I look at the Eagan next to me and his hands are at his side. I look back at the fountain and that Eagan is still waving while my Eagan is still standing still next to me looking on.

Freaky.

I look at my own reflection. I'm wearing a flowing, bright, cherry red dress in the Anima while I know I still have on my darkly colored official garb from the summit. In the reflection I'm wearing dazzling ruby jewelry, but what catches my attention is the sparkling crown resting on top of my head.

My reflection hugs Eagan's reflection joyfully, and stares me straight in the eye over his little shoulder, a soft smile on my reflection's face.

"We should be getting back," I say to Eagan, getting slightly uncomfortable. "Before anyone comes looking for us."

Eagan's little face scowls but he doesn't say anything. Eagan follows me silently back to the palace, but I hardly notice as I am enveloped in my own thought, reflecting...

My mind wanders immediately to Max and the situation at hand.

No matter what happened to me, or where I went, or who I became, there were still those nights, those nights when very late I'd be lying awake, alone in the dark, and I would think of Max. Those were the nights that dragged on forever, endless, sleepless. My mind wouldn't let me rest, wouldn't give me peace. I would think of all that had happened, and all that I knew lied ahead, and still, still, I thought of Max. And I loved him.

But during the day I hated Max. I hated him for leaving me alone. I hated him for not being here. I hated him for not finding me. I hated him for sleeping with Tess. I hated him for coming back from the future and asking me to sacrifice everything for him. I hated him for never marrying me. I hated him for saving my life that day in the Crashdown. I hated him for sucking me into this alien abyss. I hated him for loving me.

And that's all that Khivar ever saw and that's all that Khivar ever felt from me. Because those nights when I cried out for Max in waking dreams, those nights when I'd stay up elaborately imagining the life we should have had together, those nights I pretended never existed, Khivar was never there. He just knew the hate I clung to by day, the hate I used to make things easier, the hate I used to survive.

But never once with all the hate I held for Max, did I ever feel anything but love for Eagan. From the first time I saw him he was perfect. I never regretted where he came from, how he was conceived. I never once resented him. He is the love that kept me alive. He is the light in all of this darkness.

Above all, I must save Eagan. I can't let him fall into the trap that I'm in. I can't let him become a tool of Khivar. My gift to Eagan will be his freedom which I am prepared to pay for at any cost.

I return Eagan to his room and we eat supper together there. I don't really feel up to another dinner with our special guests like last night.

Eagan and I play together with his toys for a while after supper before it is time for him to go to bed and me to meet up with Ava. Eagan doesn't want me to go but I tell him I have to. I tuck him into bed, my lips brushing across his forehead.

Suddenly I get a strange flash. Bright light blinds me as my ears ring with the sound of a baby passionately crying for its mother, sensing something is wrong. I shake my head and the flash is gone.

I smile at Eagan who lies peacefully in his bed. I spot the Alice in Wonderland book on his floor and curiously pick it up. I take it with me as I scurry off quickly to meet Ava.

**************IMPORTANT***************

FYI: Sooooo, since I never previously specified, I will now. Everything up until the episode entitled Crash, I believe, you know the episode in season three where skanky Tess's ship crashes in the desert, happened. SO TESS DID NOT RETURN TO EARTH WITH MAX'S SON. This info will be more important in future chapters because I sort of created my own world instead.



Oh yeah, also, I should warn you folks that, well, this chapter is disturbing at some points. REMEMBER THE DREAMER INSURANCE. We'll be seeing a long awaiting m/l reunion, promise. There is only one more big dreamer cringe moment, and it won't even be so bad hopefully, well I mean it is sucky just because of the theme running through it, but Max will come to the rescue...sort of...





-Previously-

No matter what happened to me, or where I went, or who I became, there were still those nights, those nights when very late I'd be lying awake, alone in the dark, and I would think of Max. Those were the nights that dragged on forever, endless, sleepless. My mind wouldn't let me rest, wouldn't give me peace. I would think of all that had happened, and all that I knew lied ahead, and still, still, I thought of Max. And I loved him.

But during the day I hated Max. I hated him for leaving me alone. I hated him for not being here. I hated him for not finding me. I hated him for sleeping with Tess. I hated him for coming back from the future and asking me to sacrifice everything for him. I hated him for never marrying me. I hated him for saving my life that day in the Crashdown. I hated him for sucking me into this alien abyss. I hated him for loving me.

And that's all that Khivar ever saw and that's all that Khivar ever felt from me. Because those nights when I cried out for Max in waking dreams, those nights when I'd stay up elaborately imagining the life we should have had together, those nights I pretended never existed, Khivar was never there. He just knew the hate I clung to by day, the hate I used to make things easier, the hate I used to survive.

But never once with all the hate I held for Max, did I ever feel anything but love for Eagan. From the first time I saw him he was perfect. I never regretted where he came from, how he was conceived. I never once resented him. He is the love that kept me alive. He is the light in all of this darkness.

Above all, I must save Eagan. I can't let him fall into the trap that I'm in. I can't let him become a tool of Khivar. My gift to Eagan will be his freedom which I am prepared to pay for at any cost.

I return Eagan to his room and we eat supper together there. I don't really feel up to another dinner with our special guests like last night.

Eagan and I play together with his toys for a while after supper before it is time for him to go to bed and me to meet up with Ava. Eagan doesn't want me to go but I tell him I have to. I tuck him into bed, my lips brushing across his forehead.

Suddenly I get a strange flash. Bright light blinds me as my ears ring with the sound of a baby passionately crying for its mother, sensing something is wrong. I shake my head and the flash is gone.

I smile at Eagan who lies peacefully in his bed. I spot the Alice in Wonderland book on his floor and curiously pick it up. I take it with me as I scurry off quickly to meet Ava.

Chapter 13

When I get to my room Lonnie and Ava are lounging around idly on my bed. I toss Alice in Wonderland down and sprawl out next to them.

"Finally," Lonnie sighs, sitting up. "We's been layin' 'round waitin' foreva waitin while you's been off playin' wit Eagan. I'll neva understand what yer attachment ta 'im is. I means, he's a cute nuf kid an' all, but he's still Tess's kid."

"I don't know; I guess I just feel the need to love him, to protect him. I know that Tess doesn't. She isn't much of a mother to him, so I suppose that's probably why I feel drawn to him, to care for him. Has she always been this awful to Eagan?" I wonder.

"Naw," Lonnie answers. "She useda be much worse. Before you's came, Tess didn't even acknowledge Eagan existed an' she couldn't stand bein' anywhere near 'im. She wouldn't even let 'im be in da same room or look at 'im. Said it was too painful 'cause he reminded her of 'dat asshole Max.' She didn't want nothin ta do wit Eagan back then."

"Really?" I frown.

Tess was truly heartless to have treated her own infant son like that. Not that she is much better now, but it is even more painful to think of her abandoning her own son to the point where she refused Eagan's company all together.

"Yeah. Tess didn't even name Eagan. She commissioned Tarenk ta for her. Accordin' ta Antarian tradition his name means 'destiny's child.' Tess agreed ta da name without knowin' what it meant because Khivar found it suitable. Khivar liked it 'cause it invokes da people of Antar ta follow their ruling party, which is in da hands of Khivar. Khivar always planned fer Eagan ta be his greatest asset on Antar, raised unda his guidance. When Tess found out what Eagan's name meant though, she wuz upset and wanted it ta be changed. Khivar told her it was a fine name and ignored her pleas ta rename Eagan. Dat made Tess stay even fartha away from Eagan," Lonnie recalls.

"That's strange," I scowl.

Tess pushed 'destiny,' the union of her and Max, so adamantly on Earth, I would have thought she would have loved the name Eagan for their son.

"Tess changed a lot after Khivar brought ya 'round though. Tess neva wanted Khivar ta fix ya up an' give ya a new body. They used ta fight bout it alls da time, on an' on. Tess tried her best ta stall an' delay da process, underhandedly of course, but we's all knew it was her messin' everythin up. But Tarenk, he's dis big scientist guy, an' he figured out how's ta combine you's former DNA wit Antarian or sumthin and how's ta give ya life again. Da longest part was waitin' fer you's new body ta grow, 'cause Khivar didn't want you ta be a kid. He waited ya to wake up da same age youda been if you's ain't never been killed. Dat's when Tess would try ta mess things up, when yer body was incubatin'. She was constantly messin' wit you's mind, you's essence while you was still asleep. Khivar would gets mad an' tell her ta stay away, but he didn't really get angry till Tess started ta make you's mind real crazy and tried ta kill ya. If da mind tells da body it is dyin', da body will die. We hadda big scare right when you's was almost mature, but afters dat, Khivar said sumthin ta Tess dat made her stay clear of ya an' she didn't bother ya again. Tess kept ta herself fer da most part froms dat time on. Dat's when she started to at least see Eagan and pay a little attention ta him," Lonnie informs me.

My mind is reeling.

It was Tess.

The whole time it was Tess. She made me think that I was losing my mind. She made me believe that I killed myself and almost killed me. She screwed with my head while I was asleep.

Is there no end to her evil? I swear that I will give Tess exactly what she deserves. I will bring her down.

My anger overwhelms me.

"So all those things I saw during my supposed imprisonment, killing myself, it was all the invention of TESS?!" I exclaim.

"Fer da most part, yeah," Lonnie answers sadly. "Tess led yer mind along and prompted it ta thinks those things. She made ya way more upset wit Max than ya were on yer own and she planted all kinds a thoughts. She interfered wit you's dreams, and made 'em so vivid dat when ya woke up you's thought they was real."

"How come no one told me all those things never really happened?" I question. "Why all the elaborate lies?"

"Khivar didn't want ta 'cause it made ya more vulnerable if ya thought you were crazy or went crazy an' killed yourself. He didn't ever clean up yer mind or make Tess erase all her mindwarping 'cause he wanted ya to be confused. Khivar just told Tess she couldn't mess wit you anymore 'cause she started ta take it too far. Tess really didn't want you 'round and seriously tried ta mess ya up," Lonnie responds.

"How did I really die then, if I didn't kill myself?" I want to know.

"When Tess came back in da granolith, she couldn't control it. Tarenk intercepted da ship on its way back ta Antar an' transported Tess off wit sum new technology or sumthin dat he was testing. Da granolith then crashed into da surface of Antar, out in da desert somewhere, an' was destroyed. Khivar wasn't on Antar at da time, he was away overseeing his operations. So Tess stayed wit Tarenk, in space somewhere on his ship fer quite a while. Dat's where Eagan was born. When Khivar returned ta Antar and requested that Tess come to Antar as well, Tess wanted ta bring him sumthin real special as an offerin'. I guess Max seemed ta have lost interest in his son in her opinion. Tess said Max was no longa seeking his son out, and dat she would bring Khivar sumthin' dat would grab Max's full attention," Lonnie tells me.

"Me, Tess planned to bring me back with her," I realize.

"Yeah. Tess said that she and Tarenk had been surveyin' Earth fer a while. Tess promised dat you would bring Max Evans ta his knees in a way dat not even his own son could. So, usin' da same technology dat saved her from imminent death, she abducted ya from Earth. Except, sumthin went wrong unexpectedly durin' transport an' you died. Tarenk's new technology was reportedly destroyed in da process. Tess brought your body back to Antar nonetheless. She wuz right 'bout you. Max handed ova his crown jest ta get yer dead body back. Tarenk had already taken some of yer cells though, and Khivar already had plans fer you's reincarnation. For a while Tess wuz oblivious ta Khivar's intentions, and I think dat for dat short period, Tess was da closest ta happy I've ever seen her," Lonnie shudders at the recollection.

"Tess is going to pay for all she has done to me," I vow, my voice so cold I hardly recognize it.

"Yeah, well, we's got Khivar ta worry 'bout right now. Get ta 'im an' we'll get ta Tess. She ain't nothin' but his lapdog. We's can handle her when da time comes. Khivar's what we needa focus on 'cause he's gonna be da one dat's gonna be real hard ta take out," Ava reminds me.

"Yeah, an' I picked out da perfect thing fer you's ta wear tonight ta steal Khivar's book whiles we was waitin' for ya ta get back. You's just gonna love it, Lizzie," Lonnie says excitedly.

"Ava! Did you tell her about our mission?" I frown.

"It's all good. I's tellin' ya, I'm on yer side, Lizzie. Ya need my help anyways," Lonnie states.

"She's cool," Ava asserts simply.

Well, I suppose if Ava trusts her. Ava would know; she would have read Lonnie's mind. I trust Ava's judgment. She always seems to know what's up and be ahead of the game.

"Alright Lonnie, show me what you picked out for me to wear then. You'll need to pick something out for Ava too. She's coming with me," I say.

"I am?" Ava looks momentarily confused.

"Yeah," I reply and explain my plan to them.

Lonnie shows me the racy negligee she has picked out for me and I try it on. It's long, flowing down to my feet, made of a sheer, white material that hugs my curves, leaving little to the imagination. It's trimmed with lace and two lacy triangles barely cover my breasts. The straps holding the negligee up are spaghetti thin, leaving my neck, my chest, exposed, vulnerable.

"You're right. Khivar will be pleased. Where'd you get this?" I wonder.

"I likes ta create my own stuff," Lonnie taps her temple, grinning. "Now for Ava."

Lonnie waves her hand in Ava's direction and Ava finds herself outfitted in an identical black negligee. The black contrasts her pale features in a flattering way as the white of my gown contrast my own darker features.

"Do I really hafta wear dis?" Ava frowns. "Can't ya give me sumthin more coverin'?"

"Khivar'll love it an' yous supposeda be playin' a part," Lonnie smirks. "Cheer up, you's can save it an' wear it for K.V."

"What's K.V.?" I want to know.

"Nuthin. Where'd da potion go?" Lonnie brushes me off.

"Which one?" Ava asks.

"What do you mean which one?" I question.

"Well, ya see, we's thought da best thing fer ya to do's, would be ta take da wine wit ya wit da potion already in it, so's you's don't hafta worry bout tryin' ta slip da potion in when Khivar ain't lookin'. But in dat case Khivar might get suspicious if ya don't drink any wine youself, so's we got anotha potion fer ya ta drink dat will make ya immune to da otha potion," Lonnie informs me. "So what'd you do wit 'em, Ava?"

"I put da sleepin' potion in da wine an' da other one's right here," Ava answers shaking a small vial in front of her. "We should drink dis now so it has a chance ta start workin'."

Ava takes a sip, her face contorting unpleasantly. Still she continues to drink until the once full vial in her hand is half empty. She hands the rest over to me. I take a swallow and cough furiously.

"Are you sure this is going to work?" I gasp, choking on the foul taste.

"I's hope so's. I neva got a chance ta test it, but it should work jest fine," Ava shrugs.

"SHOULD?!" I question with alarm.

"Well, ya don't wanna drink too much wine now dat we had ta split da potion, but I think we'll be okay," Ava responds.

I roll my eyes. Why is my life always like this? Doesn't anything come with a guarantee?

I throw my head back and down the rest of the potion as fast as possible.

"I got mad skills makin' potions," Ava adds. "I'm da one who taught Max."

"Yes, well, thank you for that," I state exasperated. "Do we have anything to wash this down with? I think my stomach is going to combust."

"Oh, no, ya don't wanna dilute it," Ava shakes her head.

"Oh, of course not," I say as if I should have known better.

I take the vial between my hands and smash it into a white, powdery sand with my powers. I walk to the open window and blow the sand off my hand out into the night air. One must always take care to dispose of their evidence.

"Okay, so Lonnie, you are going to stay here and oversee this covert op. Once we get Khivar sedated, I'll patch you into Khivar's surveillance system through the computer. You aren't going to be able to see me in the Library; if you do, that's bad and you need to let me know. It's going to look like I'm still in the bedroom with Ava, but if you need to contact me, you can speak over the intercom system to me in the library, and I will be able to respond. Don't leave a voice message for me though, because if I don't get it, I won't be able to cover it up," I tell Lonnie and she nods.

"Liz, dis potion should work quick an' Khivar's gonna be real groggy, but I don't know fer sure if dis potion is gonna put 'im all da way ta sleep 'cause he's got such a strong mind. If he starts ta think something is wrong, even though he's drugged an' all, it could be real bad," Ava informs me.

"Well, that's why you have to keep him occupied and watch over him. While I'm in the library, you have to implant that fantasy I told you about in his head and make him think that he is living it out for real. Do you think you can do that?" I ask.

"Yeah, I's should be able ta," Ava replies tentatively. "I just don't wanna ta be alone wit him too long. He makes me nervous. An' I'm not completely sure how long dis potion is gonna last."

"I's wish we could just kill da bastard now," Lonnie scowls. "But Nicholas would love da chance ta imprison us and Tess wouldn't mind risin' in power either."

"No one'd miss Khivar, but da Alliance wouldn't pass up da chance ta come afta us if we label ourselves their enemy. Da Alliance would get da summit on their side an' we'd be hunted down an' executed. Plus, I ain't so sure dat we could just kill Khivar. I mean, our alien bodies got a weird way of respondin' when attacked. We get alert an' focused real fast. When da Alliance goes down, it's gotta be one swift blow dat brings them all down. An' it's gotta be legal enough dat da Alliance has ta fight alone an' won't get anyone from da summit ta aid them," Ava states.

"Wait, just killing Khivar was an option? And I never got to cast a vote?" I wonder, pouting.

"C'mon, Liz. We's betta go get dis started. You's gotta 'nuf stuff ta worry bout besides killing people fer now. You just get dat book an' then we'll do some real schemin'. Now ain't da time," Ava responds, gathering the few tools we will need for this operation.

I sigh. It's never the time.

"Lonnie, you keep Eagle Eye informed and let them know we's got da book. We'll hand da Likoma off ta ya an' you'll make da drop," Ava instructs Lonnie.

So Lonnie is definitely in the inner circle it seems…

"Eagle Eye?" I question.

"Dat's Max's ship's code name,"Ava answers.

"I figured as much," I nod. "Let's go do this then. We've got a book to deliver."

Ava and I make our way to Khivar's quarters. The lights are on inside his bedroom, telling us that he is waiting. I hesitate outside the door, repulsed by the little charade we are about to put on.

"Ya want me ta go in first?" Ava asks.

"No," I tell her. "It's okay. I can do it."

I take a deep breath and slink into the room. Khivar is lying on his bed, going over some papers. He sees me and smirks, putting his papers away. He motions for me to join him on the bed. I crawl up into his lap, wishing this was already over.

"My pet, you look quite tasty this evening," Khivar licks his lips, his hands running over my amply exposed flesh, eagerly assaulting me already.

"I have a surprise for you," I whisper in his ear as he fondles me.

"Really?" Khivar raises his eyebrows.

"Yes," I smile seductively.

I kiss him quickly, once, his slobbery tongue still somehow managing to make its way into my mouth.

"Ava," I call out.

Ava takes her cue and enters the room, in her stunning matching negligee. Khivar looks at her, looks back to me, looks at her, and then grins devilishly excited.

"This, my love, is the most wonderful surprise I've ever gotten," Khivar proclaims.

"It only gets better," I hiss, grinding into his obvious arousal, thrusting my chest into his happy face, as Ava climbs into bed with us, carrying the wine bottle.

"We brought your favorite wine ta get da party started," Ava states, her eyes watching me.

I wriggle out of Khivar's grasp and move over to Ava to help her open the bottle of wine. My hands move to the bottle, stroking the neck a few times before gripping it solidly as Ava pries at the cork. Finally, the bottle gives. Ava tips the bottle back and takes a sip of the wine, and then she passes the bottle to me. I kiss her cheek softly, and a groan comes from Khivar's direction.

"Forget the wine!" Khivar exclaims.

"My love, don't be so impatient. We have all night. We want to take this slow and make it as pleasuring as possible," I take a swig of the wine, hoping the nasty potion I made myself swallow works. "We'll just finish this bottle first and then get down to business."

Khivar grabs the bottle of wine from my hands and chugs it, much to the shock of both me and Ava.

"Sorry, my pet," Khivar apologizes, wiping his mouth with his wrist. "I don't think I could have waited that long."

Khivar chucks the empty bottle at the floor and it shatters, leaving broken glass shards across the room, guarding the door.

Shit! I'm going to have to try to walk through that.

"My, Ava, he is quite anxious, isn't he?" I continue to play my part. "What do you think, do you want to play some first, or just get him off?"

Ava smiles like a pro, moving to my side.

"Let's play," Ava purrs, stroking her fingers down my arm.

Khivar moves towards us, but Ava puts her hands on his chest and gently pushes him back.

"This be girl's only play time," Ava tells him, her hand innocently brushing across his crotch and making him moan. "You kin look, but don't touch. Not yet."

Khivar sits back, amused.

Ava comes back to me. Aggressively, she reaches for me and pulls me close. I grin at her wantonly. My hands come to rest on her stomach, just below her breasts. Ava's hands cup my face. Slowly, her face inches towards mine. I glance at Khivar who is watching breathlessly. Bit by bit, our lips move closer and closer, and just as we are about to kiss, Khivar passes out in the background.

"Finally!" I pull back relieved. "I was wondering if that wine was ever going to kick in."

"No kiddin'," Ava agrees. "I's can't believe it took that long after he downed it all like that. Da potion was supposeda be pretty instantaneous."

"Now how am I supposed to get out of here? He threw the damn wine bottle on the floor and there is glass everywhere," I frown, standing up on the bed.

Ava closes her eyes in concentration ant I feel myself being lifted up. Ava carries me over the glass with her mind and sets me down outside the door.

I'm visibly impressed by her mental skills.

"There," Ava smiles.

"Thanks. Are you going to be okay here?" I ask.

"Yeah, I'll give 'im a few memories ta savor. You just get da Likoma," Ava tells me. "Da energy scanner an' a translator are in a vase right outside da door."

"Okay. Don’t forget to strip his clothes off…" I remind her.

Ava grimaces.

"I'll be back as soon as possible," I promise, giving her a tight smile.

Ava nods and I go to work.

I retrieve the scanner and translator. I break into the computer, imprinting my being still in the room with Ava, and give Lonnie surveillance access. I slip into the library soundlessly.

It's dark, but the darkness doesn't bother me. It's comforting almost. Moonlight trickles into the desolate library from the skylights above. I can see the outline of seemingly endless stacks of books.

Quickly, not wasting any time, I hack into the computer system to cover my tracks, and I retrieve the replica Likoma from the secret passage. I take it with me, and begin my search. I hold up my scanner trying to discern the direction of the Likoma's energy signature. I take a few steps to my left following the signal and my scanner goes dead.

Fantastic. Ava forgot to check the battery. And the stupid thing dies now when I need it most. Now what the heck am I supposed to do? There are millions of books in here. Literally! I can't possibly look through all of them.

I'm about to go try to locate a new scanner when a big purple book catches my eye. I pull it off the shelf in front of me and flip through the pages. It looks like it a book on the history of Antar.

I pull out my translator. I flip through the book until I find what I am looking for near the end of the book.

The passage begins with an account of Zan's parents rule, and the birth of Zan and Vilondra. The kingdom was peaceful while they were growing up, but outside of Antar the galaxy was in turmoil. Wars were being fought between many neighboring planets and civil wars raged forth on many planets. Trade was becoming more and more challenging, as states were tremendously unstable. The king and queen of Antar, Zan's parents, thought it would be best for their kingdom if Prince Zan wed Princess Ava, who had been a refugee on the planet of Antar since shortly after her birth.

Princess Ava's home planet was nearby Urilia. Urilia had been in civil war since almost a hundred years before Princess Ava was born. However, Princess Ava's elder brother, King Khivar of Urilia, who had also spent the majority of his life as a refugee on Antar, had just recently returned to Urilia and was rising up as a new leader of the Urilian people, defeating all of his opponents easily. King Khivar's royal family was once again recognized as rulers of the planet. Antar was interested in making an alliance with the newly united state which promised to be very powerful and influential.

King Khivar indeed grew to be very powerful, conquering several neighboring planets that had been very engaged in a ruthless war that had become highly problematic to many other states in the galaxy which were often caught in the middle of the intense quarrel. King Khivar moved on to capture more weak planets through out the galaxy. His growing empire became known as the Urilian Allegiance. Back then, King Khivar's campaign was to promote harmony within the galaxy, which he claimed to be creating by taking frivolous planets and their states under his wing to teach them the ways of progress and peace in order that they may one day be able to successful rule themselves in accord with the rest of the galaxy.

Prince Zan and Princess Ava had their wedding ceremony. After a good five years passed, some of the people of Antar began to question the ability of Prince Zan to be the next ruler. The Prince was very reserved and liked to spend much of his time in solitary. He did not seem entirely interested in ruling to many people. Above all, the Prince had failed to yet conceive an heir for the Antarian throne. Traditionally, a royal couple was not even considered married until they produced an heir together. According to Antarian legend, the bond between royal couples was not complete until their first child was born. Mythically, it was through the birth of their royal heir that the royal seal of Antar would be passed on to the queen. Because there was no heir, the confidence of the people in the royal line began to waver.

Under strong suggestion from her parents, Princess Vilondra, agreed to wed her brother's right hand man and top advisor, the Lord Rath, for political purposes. Princess Vilondra was rumored to have been quite infatuated with the King Khivar. However, the King of Urilia, now emperor of the Urilian Allegiance, was not at all interested in being tied down at that time. Even after her union with Lord Rath, Princess Vilondra was rumored to have continued her affair with King Khivar, as well as with the King Beldeniko of Hazaran, ruler of a planet within the Urulian Empire.

Many people had great confidence in Prince Rath who was a decorated hero of Antar's armed forces, and although the king and queen of Antar had meant to solidify their family's claim to the throne through Prince Zan with the induction of a powerful political personality into the family, there were many Antarians who felt that the throne should be passed on to Prince Rath instead. Prince Rath had no intention of ascending the throne in the place his closest comrade Prince Zan and fully backed Prince Zan's claim to the throne when the Antarian Senate drew up a proposal against Zan's succession.

Some began to accuse Prince Zan of infidelity to Princess Ava. There began to be suspicion that Prince Zan had a mysterious mistress hidden away somewhere who would someday bear his child and steal the throne from Princess Ava, and thus anger King Khivar and the Urilian Allegiance which were powerful political allies. Antar could not afford that kind of offense. Though no such mistress was ever uncovered, it seemed obvious to the people of Antar that Prince Zan was unsatisfied with his marriage to Princess Ava. Still, Princess Ava seemed to be in full support of the Prince Zan.

Meanwhile, as the people of Antar grew more and more discontent with their next ruler, King Khivar's empire grew rapidly. Khivar began his newest operation during which he planned to assimilate the planet of Chiarri. However the Chiarrian people offered up much resistance. They fought brutally against King Khivar and the forces of the Urilian Allegiance. In one desperate measure, they planned a foul stroke against the Urilian Allegiance that they would soon come to regret. The Chiarrian leaders thought that if they could cripple the empire built by King Khivar, that Khivar would be force to retreat. The Chiarrians, under the mentality of it's either them or us, launched a strike aimed at the heart of the Urilian Allegiance that they hoped would end the King Khivar's tyranny and crumble the empire beneath him.

The Chiarrian resistance fighters smuggled across space a secret, new, powerful, deadly bomb designed by the top scientists of a nearby planet of Jimbar which had been secretly aiding the Chiarrian resistance with the fear that they would be next on Khivar's agenda. The Chiarrians used this weapon against the Planet of Urilia not yet fully aware of the bombs capabilities. The planet of Urilia and its entire people were instantly obliterated.

When Khivar, who had not been on Urilia when it exploded, found that his home planet and the base of his empire had been entirely destroyed, his vengeance was swift. His sources supposedly easily helped Khivar distinguish the responsible parties. Khivar allegedly raped the planet of Jimbar for all it was worth, leaving it desolate and hardly inhabitable. Though it was never proven, it is believed that with the only other remaining bomb of that kind developed by the Jimbarian state, Khivar lashed out at Chiarri and completely eradicated the planet, leaving it as nonexistent as Urilia. It is highly against all galactic treaties, laws, pacts, and so forth, to entirely wipe out another race, let alone a planet, under any circumstances, so Khivar, who did not want the blood to show on his hands, went to great lengths to hide the identity of the mysterious assailants who assaulted Urilia, as well as attacked Chiarri and Jimbar. Still, from the ghost of Jimbar remaining, there were fingers pointed at Khivar, but those fingers were easily cut off.

For a while Khivar's empire seemed to be in disarray. Most planets were afraid to offer aid and associate with Khivar in the event that solid evidence against him was found. Such evidence reportedly appeared, and Khivar became a wanted man throughout the galaxy. Khivar, in need of a place to hide and gather himself, appealed to his past lover, the Princess Vilondra. The princess snuck the outlawed Khivar on to Antar, unaware of his hidden plan to conquer a new home base for himself. Khivar was quick to make his move, not wasting any time, and struck down on an entirely unprepared kingdom. The day after his arrival, Khivar and his forces attacked the royal palace, bringing it to its knees. Khivar easily killed the king and queen of Antar, but Prince Zan, Princess Ava, Princess Vilondra, and Prince Rath thankfully escaped, the people of Antar hiding them.

Prince Zan was named king and Ava, queen. The royal four gathered their people and tried to prepare to fight back. But Khivar hunted them down forced them to constantly be on the run for their lives. Queen Ava went to the palace and appealed to Khivar on behalf of the remaining royal family. Khivar told her that she could join him or perish. Queen Ava returned to her husband. Khivar sent out a hefty reward for the four royals and they soon became unable to trust even their own people. Princess Vilondra snuck away to the palace and implored her former lover to have mercy upon them. Khivar offer Princess Vilondra a place at his side, and with the stipulation that she abandon her husband and family and marry him, he agreed to call off the search. Princess Vilondra accepted Khivar's offer.

Before the marriage could take place, King Zan and what forces he could gather made a raid on the palace. Princess Vilondra tried to come to her family's aid when she learned of their attack, but was murdered in the process without hesitation by Khivar. Prince Rath was killed trying to avenge his wife. King Zan and Queen Ava were able to sneak through the palace for some time in search something unknown before they were discovered by Khivar and captured. Queen Ava, in an attempt to save herself, threw herself at her brother's feet. She pledged allegiance to him and begged him to forgive her. Khivar promised Queen Ava that she could rule beside him, under the condition that she executed her husband herself.

Queen Ava pleaded with Khivar to let King Zan live as Khivar's eternal prisoner, but Khivar would never allow the king to live and she knew it. Khivar reminded her of the rumors, of her husband's crimes against her. Queen Ava agreed to Khivar's terms, but as she attempted to take the life of her husband, she knew she could not. Khivar, repulsed by his sister's weakness, made the fatal blow for her, but she threw up a shield in front of her husband to block Khivar's shot. Khivar was forced to kill Queen Ava alongside King Zan.

Any evidence against Khivar relating to the incident with Chiarri quickly disappeared. Khivar played off his attack on Antarian royalty as a rabid sickness that was especially devastating to the palace. He assumed rule over the planet by his close relation to the late Queen Ava. And no one dared question him. The influence of the Antarian Senate fell in Khivar's favor. Khivar regrouped and rebuilt his empire, renaming it the Antarian Alliance, and to most, his territory simply became called the Empire. Urilia and all reference to its once existence perished.

The people of Antar were forced into obedience under Khivar's imposed rule. However, one of palace priests managed so somehow preserve the souls of the royal four. Serving Khivar by day, by night he stumbled upon a ritual to bring the royal four into rebirth. Combining science with celestial powers, the priest recreated the royal four and brought Antar a new hope. The priest constructed a space ship to take the resurrected royal four away to an innocent planet that they could hide on and successfully mature to take on their roles. The priests provided the royal four with protectors and generated decoys of the royal four to throw off their enemies should they be discovered. The ship also contained a device that the priest had spent years working on, never knowing what he was building until it was complete. This apparatus became known as the granolith and was reportedly more powerful than any other known machine in the universe with its inexhaustible energy source and ability to bend time and space. Eventually Khivar uncovered the priest's work and what he had done, but Khivar was never able to locate the mysterious priest.

For many, many years Khivar searched for the royal four with no avail. The priest had concealed them well. But then the time came when the royal four grew of age and their past began to reveal itself to them. The royal four were unveiled in their sanctuary. Princess Ava, who somehow became separated from the rest of the royal four, tried to make a deal with Khivar that would allow her to return to Antar. Eventually Princess Ava was reunited with the remaining royal four. Greatly unsatisfied with life on the planet Earth, Princess Ava was determined to go home by any means necessary.

And suddenly my translator dies.

You have got to be kidding me?! I was just getting to the good part. I wanted to see if I made an appearance in the history books. This is just fricking ridiculous. What am I in the twilight zone? Why doesn't anything around here work!

It's no wonder Khivar doesn't want me snooping around his library when he keeps books that portray him in such a less than flattering light.

I beat on my translator a few times in frustration. I put the book I was reading back on the shelf, giving up.

And it's then that I hear it. At first I think it is just my imagination because it is so faint, but gradually it begins to get louder. I strain my ears to listen.

It's more than just a sound. It's a pulse that resonates through my very being. It's very soft and low and first but the more I listen, the louder and faster its beating grows. It feels like someone is drumming on my soul.

I begin to move towards it, hugging the counterfeit Likoma to my chest, and its volume and intensity begin to increase faster and faster. I walk through to rows and rows of books, searching, seeking, drawn to it. I begin to run through the maze of shelves, unable to hold back any longer, completely drawn towards the source of this strange beat. It's hypnotizing, mesmerizing, calling to me, and I can't stop myself.

And then suddenly it stops, freezing me in place. The silence is deafening. My hand instinctually reaches out and pulls a book off the shelf in front of me. A book identical to the book I'm holding in my other hand. I discard the counterfeit Likoma, slipping it into the slot that I just pulled the real book from.

I open the book, spellbound by its power that I can feel coursing through me.

Elizabeth Parker.

Holy shit! I drop the book to the ground and stare it. It didn't just talk to me, did it?




TBC.....




Thanks guys, for the awesome feedback. I've been trying to be better at replying to you guys and still hope to get better at acknowledging your responses.

I know this is way overdue, but also want to thank all of you who are/were the big supporters of my other fic 'What's So Great About Normal?' and who voted for it in the fanfic awards last time around. Seriously, it means so much to me that you guys find/found me funny. No really, it is beyond awesome.

-Previously-

And it's then that I hear it. At first I think it is just my imagination because it is so faint, but gradually it begins to get louder. I strain my ears to listen.

It's more than just a sound. It's a pulse that resonates through my very being. It's very soft and low and first but the more I listen, the louder and faster its beating grows. It feels like someone is drumming on my soul.

I begin to move towards it, hugging the counterfeit Likoma to my chest, and its volume and intensity begin to increase faster and faster. I walk through to rows and rows of books, searching, seeking, drawn to it. I begin to run through the maze of shelves, unable to hold back any longer, completely drawn towards the source of this strange beat. It's hypnotizing, mesmerizing, calling to me, and I can't stop myself.

And then suddenly it stops, freezing me in place. The silence is deafening. My hand instinctually reaches out and pulls a book off the shelf in front of me. A book identical to the book I'm holding in my other hand. I discard the counterfeit Likoma, slipping it into the slot that I just pulled the real book from.

I open the book, spellbound by its power that I can feel coursing through me.

Elizabeth Parker.

Holy shit! I drop the book to the ground and stare it. It didn't just talk to me, did it?




Chapter 14


Naw, it couldn't have. Books can't talk. Get a grip Liz; you're losing it. I pick up the book again.

I'm afraid that I'm going to have to inform you, my child, that books most certainly can talk.

"Ahhhhhh!" I jump back startled.

I release the book again and it tumbles to the ground. This is getting really freaky. Nobody told me I was going to be looking for a talking book. How the heck could Khivar miss a talking book in his library?

I don't talk to him. Why would I? Now get a hold of yourself and pick me up. And this time make sure you have a good grip. I've been waiting ages for you, and what's the first thing you do? Drop me on my head. Twice, mind you. It's rather painful to be dropped like that, you know.

"I'm sorry. It's just, I've never had a book talk to me before, or talked to a book for that matter," I say aloud, feeling foolish.

Well, that's just a pity. We books have lots to say, as you can imagine, Elizabeth Parker. Maybe you just never listened hard enough to what books were saying to you. That happens more than you would think.

"How did you know my name?" I ask.

You don't have to move your lips you know. I can hear you just fine.

Sorry. I told you, I've never talked to a book before. And how did you know my name? I wonder.

How could I not know your name? I've know all that came before and I will know all that come after. I know you because you are you, Elizabeth Parker. I know ALL about you.

What does that mean? I frown.

Nothing. Nothing at all. But let's just say that it's not every century that I get to deal with such a… colorful character as you. Most who come before me are exceedingly polished, refined, and dignified.

Great, now I'm getting insulted by a book?

Listen here Mr. Book, or whatever you're called, there is nothing wrong with being colorful, whatever that means. And I am dignified or whatever. I AM. You've only known me for not even five minutes so how would you know?

I meant no offense, Elizabeth. I only alluded to the fact that most of those whom I talk to have had years of training and instruction behind them. Your education has been some what lacking. However, I have every confidence in you, and I am sure you will do a fine job. And my child, I can I assure that I know you better that you can possibly comprehend. I've known you from the instant you were conceived, from the day you first existed, long before you were ever born, long before you became who you are now. And please do not refer to me as Mr. Book. It's far too stuffy and formal, not to mention that is just plain sounds silly.

Well, what am I supposed to call you?

I don't know. I have many names. The greatest book. The holy pages. Words of wonder. Voice of wisdom. The eternal knowledge.

You've formed quite an opinion of your self there. I'd rather call you something with a little less bravado behind it. How about Fred? It's short. It's sweet. It's simple. It's not too stuffy.

Fred?

Sure. Fred. How ya doing, Fred? Did you have a good day, Fred? Hey Fred, what have you been up to lately? See. It has a nice flow to it.

Yes, I suppose it does. Fred it is then.

Great. Now that we got that settled, you can just call me Liz.

Okay Liz.

So Fred, why have you been waiting for me so long?

Because you weren't ready yet, Liz.

Really. But why were you waiting for ME of all people?

Because you are you, Liz.

Damn, this book is cryptic. Of all the books I could be talking to, the one that decides to talk to me is abhorrently vague. What does it take to get a straight answer around here?

Don't worry Liz. You'll get your answers and more in due time. You must continue to seek the truth, no matter how discouraged you get because it is the truth that will set you free. You have many difficult tasks ahead of you. You will need much strength to overcome your enemies. I can show you where to get this strength.

Where?

Come, and I will show you.

I begin to walk, my feet moving of their own accord. I don't even know where I am going. But I keep walking, the book in my hands. I pass into the secret passageway and continue to walk completely in the dark, past Tess's room, past Eagan's room, past my room. I walk until I am completely disoriented and have no idea where I am.

Where am I? I ask.

It's just a little farther. The Likoma assures me.

Suddenly I run into a dead end. I feel around in front of me in the dark, and I find a ladder. I begin to climb up, my grip tight on the book. I climb slowly, the book hindering the use of one hand. When the ladder ends and I can't climb any higher, I push at the ground above me and it gives way, sliding to the side. Moonlight streams down on my face, and I climb out of the secret tunnel, book still in hand.

I'm deep in the garden I realize. The night sky is black, dotted with thousands of white stars twinkling at me. Ahead of me in the dark I can make out the luminescent outline of the Anima. A shiver crawls up my spine.

I'm not so sure this is a good idea Fred. I really should get you to Max. He'd know what to do with you better that I would. And Ava is back there waiting for me.

Ava will be just fine. Though the confrontation grows close, there are many events that must take place first. And it's not my time for Max yet. Besides, why not just let me show you since we came that long way and we're already out here?

But Max needs you. He has to find out how to work the Anima. He needs a key.

I know, I know. And I will tell you what you need to know. Listen carefully, for I speak a truth that you cannot find anywhere else. Long, long ago, in a time before time as it is now, there was an age very like this one, where the kings and queens of Antar were under fierce attack and severely endangered. It was vital for the royal line to live on and be preserved. So the kings and queens created the Anima from a mystical meteor that crashed to the planet in their greatest time of need, a gift from the heavens that was the promised answer their prayers. The royals ingeniously designed the Anima and fashioned it so that when they died, all their powers would be preserved in it to be passed on to the next generation. All of the knowledge and the skill of the past generations became available to the future generations and the Antarian royals began possess a strength and wisdom that was unparalleled through out the universe. And then times became peaceful and the kings and queens were no longer endangered. It became that the power obtained through the Anima was no longer seen as essential. Science began to reign over divine influence. Royals became arrogant about the powers bestowed upon them, not paying proper tribute to the true source. The unworthy vied to overlook the rituals associated with the Anima, which demanded a divine appointment they would never have, and the voice of the unworthy was heard. So royals no longer drew on the power of the Anima, and eventually over the ages it was all together forgotten all that the Anima encompassed. Still, the Anima continued to gather the royals' powers after their deaths for eras to come, and slowly the Anima grew stronger and stronger. And then one day, the kings and queens again came under a vicious attack, but they were unprepared and unequipped to fight. The entire line of Antarian royals was wiped out in one swipe. And the Anima cracked then, releasing the power to change the past, to change the future, the power to create new life, to those of lesser appointment in hopes that the Antarian royals would someday rise to rule again. This power is familiar to you.

"The granolith," I breathe.

The granolith crystal to be exact. The crystal was used to recreate those who could restore balance to the planet. In that first recreation a part of the crystal broke off because the task could not yet be completed then. The piece remained here on this planet for the day that it would be used again. The rest of the crystal was fashioned to power the granolith and was sent to Earth with those whom the hope of Antar rested in. The part of the crystal that remained on this planet fell into Antar's enemies and they have tried to use it for their own evil will. However, the crystal is only supposed to be of use to restore the balance. Still, though they have been eluded, Antar's enemies have labored on and will eventually find ways to twist the crystal and the Anima to their evil purposes. For now, the crystals are out of evil's immediate hands, but there is immanent danger. You must find both parts of the crystal and return them to where they came from.

How? That's impossible. The Granolith has been destroyed. Tess crashed it into the Antarian desert and the whole thing exploded.

The crystal is indestructible. It remains in tact. You must find it.

So these are the keys that Max is looking for? These crystals are what he needs to control the power of the Anima?

No. The crystals must be returned to the Anima because they are no longer needed. If you do not return them to where they came from, thereby destroying them, evil will learn to manipulate them for its own vices and the balance will forever be tipped in the favor of your enemies. The power of the Anima itself is a gift that can be received by choice only by the chosen ones who are worthy. This power is what Max is seeking. To receive the power one must only enter in and become one with the Anima. Within the Anima is all the strength you need to defeat your enemies, Liz. You only have to be brave enough to seek it.

The glow of the Anima brightens, beckoning to me, and I cannot ignore it. I gently set the Likoma down and move towards it.

Slowly I creep towards it. The closer I get, the brighter the Anima begins to glow. I can see my reflection in the metallic waves across the surface of the spherical monument. And my reflection begins to change and I see myself with in the Anima at the different stages within my life. The Anima rests on an image of me, as a child, on earth, and I'm wearing that stupid cupcake dress. I see myself, talking to someone who is indistinguishable.

I step into the fountain around the Anima and wade through water, yearning to get closer. I don't even notice as the lower half of my long nightgown begins to soak up water and stick to my legs.

The little girl Liz laughs, bearing a toothless grin, and I faintly hear an echo of a child's laughter. Seeing myself with such innocence is disarming. I come face to face with the image, and little girl Liz looks up at me. I see myself. She beckons to me, smiling, inviting me to join her.

Little boy Max suddenly appears at little girl Liz's side, the indistinct person she was talking to earlier becoming clear. I recognize the scene as the first time Max and I actually met, the first chance we had to really talk to each other. Little Max looks at me and smiles warmly with recognition in his eyes.

Little Liz holds out a hand to me.

I slowly extend my hand to reach her, completely absorbed in the image. I can feel the warmth emitted by the Anima on my hand.

She smiles.

I smile.

Just as I am about to touch the surface of the Anima, I feel myself jerked back forcefully. For a moment all I see is the bright stars shining above me. Then my body hits the cold water, bringing me out of my daze.

I realize that I am on my back, another body beneath me whose strong arms are wrapped tightly around my middle.

Max sits up behind me, and vehemently spins me around to face him. He vigorously runs his hands over my face, my body, checking to make sure I'm alright. Satisfied that I am unharmed he violently hugs me into his sopping wet body. I'm drenched as well.

"Good heavens, Liz, you scared me half to death, do you know that? Didn't you hear me shouting your name? Telling you to get back?" Max questions breathlessly.

"What? No. What are you talking about?" I respond confused. "How did you know I was even out here?"

"Ava told Lonnie that you had been gone a long time. Lonnie tried to find you in the library but you didn't answer so she contacted us. We tried a scan of the Palace grounds for you from our ship and we immediately found that you were out here. I came to find you because it seemed really strange that you were out here without letting anyone know. When I saw you, I started to walk towards you. You were in the fountain. I yelled at you, tried to get you attention and tell you not to get any closer to the Anima, but you completely ignored me and acted like I wasn't even there. You keep moving towards the Anima, and that's when I ran towards you because I knew you weren't going to stop. Don't you know you can't touch it, Liz? The Anima will kill you, incinerate you instantly, if you try to touch it," Max explains, his face still worried.

"What? It will?" I wonder, shocked by this revelation.

Max picks up a stick floating nearby in the fountain and tosses it at the Anima. As soon as the stick hits the surface on the Anima it bursts into blue flames and immediately burns up entirely into the air.

"See," Max demonstrates. "It's deadly Liz. The fountain keeps people away and everyone is supposed to know not to touch it. The Anima doesn't react to contact with water, or other lifeless matter, but living cells, organisms…it can be very deadly to."

"Oh," I answer quietly.

"What were you doing, Liz? Why are you out here? You looked like you were in a trance or something. It was so scary," Max informs me, visibly shaken.

"I - I don't know. I don't think it would have hurt me, Max. It was calling to me. It has something inside for me, for you. It wants to give it to me," I tell him.

"What are you talking about?" Max frowns.

"The book, the Likoma, it talked to me Max. It told me that the power you are looking for, to defeat Khivar, is inside. It said that I would have the strength if I went inside. It's in there Max. We just have to go get it," I state.

Max cups my face in his hands and looks directly into my eyes.

"Liz, promise me that you will not try to go inside the Anima again, okay? I think someone may have been messing with your mind, but don't worry, we'll get to the bottom of this," Max assures me.

"No! It's in there, Max; I know it. I can feel it. Aren't you listening to me?" I protest, pulling away. "The Likoma said we only had to be brave enough to seek it. And we have to find the crystals! The granolith crystal and this other crystal and give them back to the Anima or bad stuff will happen. Fred said-"

"Who is Fred?" Max interrupts, scowling.

"The book! The Likoma. It said I could call it Fred," I say matter of factually. "But Max-"

"The book said you could call it Fred?" Max breaks in again. "And you actually believed that the Likoma was talking to you? FRED, Liz? Where is the book now?"

"I put it down, over there, when the Anima started to call to me," I say, pointing. "Max it was talking to me. It was! I know it sounds ridiculous, but I swear, it talked to me."

Max stands and helps me up, water trickling off the two of us. I wring my long, dark, river of hair out. Max helps me out of the fountain.

I glance down at my self, suddenly quite conscious of my attire, or lack there of. I'm still wearing the sexy, sheer, white negligee. Only now it's very wet and very, very, transparent. The low cut, laced gown hugs me, plastered to my skin. The cool night air has caused my nipples to harden. My wet hair is in messy disarray.

Max finally notices my clothing. He gulps, his eyes growing wide.

"You, umm, you…" Max starts but ends up only swallowing hard again.

"I was… I had to… pretend to seduce Khivar. I haven't been with him since you came back, and he was starting to get suspicious. Ava and I drugged him and then we, we planted images in his mind and, ummm, yeah…" I try to explain.

"Oh," Max says his eyes raking over my body lustfully. "Yeah."

"He has sex with Tess," I blurt out.

"What?" Max's attention comes back to my face.

"Khivar and Tess have sex with each other," I report.

"Gross!" Max exclaims.

"I know. He tries to have sex with Ava too. But she always warps his mind. When he wakes up he is going to think he had a threesome with me and Ava," I go on. "That has always been his greatest fantasy. Well actually, it's me and Tess he wants to do together. He wants to watch the two of us go at it with each other, ripping our clothes off as we fight over him, and then get each other off as well as him, in one big, sweaty org-"

"Okay, stop, way too much information there," Max's face twists in disgust. "You're totally killing my arousal here! Some things you can just keep to yourself…"

"But Max, we don't keep any secrets from each other, remember," I reply mockingly, in a girly voice, fluttering my eyelashes.

"You remember that night?" Max wonders, excitedly.

"Yeah, yeah. The night right after we graduated when we made that pact…. fun times," I shrug. "You know it is crazy, the things that I am starting to remember. They surface slowly, like I completely forgot that I didn't remember, and once I remember, it seems like it was always there, like I had remembered all along, except that I remember that I didn't remember. It's very strange. There are a lot of things I still can't remember, and a lot of things are hazy."

It is a lot easier to remember things from when I was young. Everything leading up to the time I was taken is very muddled, is still hard to remember. The summer after we graduated, right before I was taken, is finally starting to come back. On the night of graduation, Max and I made a pact.

He was taking me home, after a party that had been thrown for the graduating seniors. And we were sitting in his car outside of the Crashdown. And we were talking about the summer and plans for the fall. Max and I had been back together pretty much since he had brought me back from Vermont, from the Winnaman Academy, and I, well, had brought him back from the dead.

And that night Max, he told me that he didn't want to do the alien thing anymore. That he just wanted to be normal, to be human, to be with me. He told me that he loved me and all his alien past ever did was come between us. He told me he didn't want that to happen anymore. He said he didn't need to search for answers anymore because he had already found everything that would make him happy in me. He hadn't gotten any visions from his son in a long time and confessed he wasn't entirely sure that his son even existed. And then Max promised me that he would never, ever keep another secret from me, because the secrets only ever drove us apart. He wanted to share his life with me completely, in every way possible.

And then I made the same promise back, not to hide from him anymore, to let him in. I promised that I wouldn't run away from our problems and that I would talk to him.

And we made a pact to always be open and honest with each other, no matter what. And we were, we really were. That night redefined our relationship. Over the summer we grew closer than we ever were before. We'd always been able to see things about each other through our connections, but still there was so much we'd never shared with each other. We'd always fallen back on our intense connection to communicate. But the more we talked to each other, the more we began to talk things out, the stronger our bond became. Finally, for the first time, I felt like our relationship was stable, that it couldn't be shaken by any wild alien mishaps anymore. And the funny thing is, the more we learned to communicate with out our connection, the more intense and more vivid our connection became.

And I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with Max, or at least, I thought I did.

I shiver.

Max waves his hand over me drying me off instantly. Then he waves a hand over himself. Max pulls me into an embrace and I wrap my arms around his waist.

"I wish you would let me help you," Max says into my hair, his chin resting on the top of my head. "I know how to retrieve memories now. Ava helped me learn."

I automatically think back to the skirmish in my bathroom and how overwhelmingly traumatic it was. I can't come face to face with myself, not yet, not right now, not like that.

"If I need your help, I'll come to you when I'm ready," I promise. "It's just, it is all a little too much to take at once right now, you know? I'm not sure I can handle it."

I feel Max nod, half expecting him to protest, but he doesn't. He just holds me. And it feels wonderful.

"A lot of things are coming back to me, and I am finding some of the answers to my many questions. Much has been revealed to me just recently," I admit. "It almost makes me feel like I'm a stranger in my own life. There's so to me that I don't even know about! It's like I'm rediscovering myself and who I am."

Max smiles at me and kisses my forehead tenderly. Then he looks away hesitantly.

"I have something to tell you," Max confesses. "I saw a lot of things when I connected with you in the bathroom, but I wasn't all that surprised by what I saw. It was shocking to have all of my worst suspicions confirmed, but I have to tell you that I'd seen so much of what was there before. Liz, I used to get, I have been getting, well, dreams from you. It was a while after you died before I started getting them. I used to see things, horrible things, horrible thoughts, from you. At least, I thought they were from you. But I didn't know. They were so strange, and so…terrible. You were so desperate, so alone, so scared, so tortured. They were nightmares that I'd have, almost all the time. And then all of the sudden, the dreams changed. I didn't have them very often and when I did they were even more peculiar than before. They were still terrifying, but for different reasons, in different ways. I'd see people, the people here, Lonnie and Rath and Tess and Khivar. And Eagan. I'd see Eagan."

Max pauses briefly before he goes on.

"Liz after you died, I started getting dreams from my son. Not like the few fleeting visions I had before occasionally. These dreams were so vivid, and I saw everything in his world, I felt what he felt. And then after a long time, I started to see you Liz. I started to see you in his world. And I saw him in your world. And I knew that you were alive. Michael and Isabel didn't believe me. They thought I was crazy. Honestly, half of the time I did too. They had to hear the truth from Lonnie to believe you were alive, but that was right before we came here when Lonnie aligned herself with us. For the last two years the better part of me thought that you were still out there somewhere. And I was determined to find you. I came here for you, just as much as my son," Max states.

I just listen silently to all Max is telling me.

"Aunkana and her people contacted us, back when I was still having those really bad nightmares all the time. They wanted to help us take back the throne. They wanted to overthrow Khivar. They picked us up and gave us everything. Armies, ships, knowledge. Of course we agreed and went with them. We all ached for vengeance. But it wasn't until I believed you were still alive that I felt alive again, that there was forceful passion behind my motions. When I thought you were dead, when you were dead, I was dead. I didn't feel anything but for you. I didn't even talk to anyone until Ava came to us. She just related to my pain in a way that I can't explain. She mourned your death along side me. Before she came to us, I tried to shut the world off completely. I was in so much pain. But Ava helped me a lot. She helped us all. She redirected our energies towards Antar. She taught us all the things we would need to know to come back here. She taught us everything she knew. And the Sanathians gave us the physical power behind our goals," Max says.

"Is that why you slept with Aunkana? Because she helped you?" I ask, frowning slightly.

"Kind of. She was just always there, always caring, always giving us whatever we needed. She was very kind to us. At first, I thought she desperately wanted our help. Khivar wronged her, and she was determined to exact revenge. But at the same time she genuinely liked us, and spent a lot of time working along side us. Sleeping with her wasn't something I planned. And afterwards I felt horrible. It happened during the time when I was still having those awful nightmares every night, every time I fell asleep. Michael and Isabel knew that Aunkana had feelings for me. I guess it was obvious to everyone. They all urged me to do something, to find some way to get over you so I wouldn't wake up screaming in the middle of the night. They said I needed to move on. Heaven help me Liz, I wanted to move on. I wanted to let go of you so badly, to stop clinging to lost dreams. But still you were there with me, in me. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't live; when I was asleep I had nightmares, when I was awake I obsessed over the nightmares. I constantly blamed myself for everything that happened to you, to Alex. It ate away at me. And I became a ghost of a man. And then one night Aunkana came to me," Max informs me, his face pained. "Michael and Isabel, I think they must have said something to her, put her up to it. She came and I knew why she was there, but I didn't turn her away. Because I would have done anything to chase the demons out of my head, to find some relief, any relief. I was a shadow of a person and there was nothing left of me. We had sex. I still don't know what was wrong with me, why I did it. I was just so… desperate. I immediately felt guilty afterwards. I felt guilty for betraying you again, even though you were dead, or supposed to be. And I felt guilty for using her. I cried afterwards. We both cried. Aunkana said all she saw was you, that she saw at the…climax…only you, my love for you, and what had happened. She said she had felt my pain. And she cried. That was all I saw and felt the whole time, too. Only you. After that, we were close friends, Aunkana and I, but we were never more than that. The fake engagement was her idea, because she wanted to help me get here to the summit and bring Khivar to justice. I agreed because by that time the dreams had changed and I was sure you were here, alive. Aunkana's the only one who believed me. She said Khivar was monstrous enough to do something like that to me. Ava, she never really voiced her opinion much on anything, but sometimes I thought she believed me too. I think she suspected you were out here somewhere. Most of all, I think Ava sensed that I needed to believe you were out here, on the other side of the galaxy."

I don't say anything right away. What is there to say?

We've both had an overwhelming amount of pain in our lives during the time we've been apart. And it's nearly destroyed us both. I couldn't imagine what it what have been like for me if it had been the other way around. I had a glimpse of how devastating it would be to lose Max when I was at the Winnaman Academy. But that was only a small sliver of what it Max has gone through, day after day, year after year, for the past seven years. I was prepared to give Max up to his destiny, but to death? I couldn't have taken that. I'd sooner have died myself. I did die. He was the one that had to carry on, had to go on living without me.

I gaze up into the expansive sky thoughtfully.

"When I was a little girl," I tell Max, "I used to look up at the stars and imagine far off planets, and crazy plants and animals, and peoples that were strange but not all that different from us, and their kings and queens and rulers. But I never knew they really existed. I thought they lived only in my imagination. And then the day you healed me everything changed and I never looked at the stars the same again. Because now I knew those people existed, I knew they were out there somewhere. Still, it never occurred to me until the day I was kidnapped that I might someday be one of them, among them. Now I sit under the night sky and I gaze up at the stars, knowing what is out there, out here, and I which star is the sun, which star is home, where is the Earth."

Max remains quiet for a long time.

"I'm so sorry, Liz," Max finally speaks, his voice cracking. "I never meant for any of this to happen to you. I ruined your life and I turned everything upside down for you."

"Oh, Max," I squeeze him tightly. "Don't ever, EVER, be sorry. You can't blame yourself for any of this. What happened to me, what happened to Alex, it wasn't your fault, Max. We both knew who you were and we chose to be in your life anyways. We knew the risks. You had no control over what happened, and there was nothing you could have done for either of us. Please, you have to understand that, Max. It's not your fault! Max, even though I had the most normal, boring, protected, sheltered childhood in the entire universe, I always just had this feeling it wouldn't always be like that, that someday something would happen that would change things, and it would never be that way again. I never really pictured myself living in the suburbs, raising two kids, working as biologist, driving a mini-van, owning a big, friendly dog and a picket fence. That might have been where my life was headed, but I knew it was never the life for me. As silly as this sounds, it never seemed like that would fit me. It just never felt right."

"Do you miss home, Earth?" Max asks me, stroking a hand gently through my hair.

"Not really," I shake my head. "Because it's not my home anymore. It could never be again. Too much has changed. Too much is different. Too many people think I'm dead. How would I ever explain to my parents? They've managed to deal all this time, and by now have probably finally learned to accept my death. What would I tell them? If I ever did go back, I certainly could never stay on Earth. It's not like I can just pick up my life where I left off. If anyone who used to know me saw me, outside of the few people who know your secret… if the government found out I was alive… I'd just spend the rest of my life hiding. Earth's not my home anymore. I don't really even have a home. Sometimes I do miss my parents, my mom and dad, and I miss Maria, and everyone else. I miss you. But I don't miss my life there anymore."

"We told our parents," Max states, rubbing my back lightly. "Isabel and I did. We finally told them. Right after you died. You know how suspicious they were our senior year, but after everything died down they just kind of let it be for a time. But after you died my parents got really riled up again, convinced we were hiding something. So we told them, Isabel and I did."

"What'd they say?" I wonder, impressed that Max and Isabel had the guts to do that.

"They were okay with it. I mean, it kind of freaked them out a little at first but. But they still loved us all the same and it didn't take long for them to just completely accept it. They even joke about it now. It is such a relief to finally be able to be myself with my parents," Max responds.

"I can imagine," I snuggle into his chest.

I can't help but wonder if my parents would be the same way. Still, HOW would I tell them, begin to explain?

"Liz, would you stay here with me? When this is all over will you stay here?" Max questions hopefully. "Could this ever be your home?"

I know what he's really asking, what underlying his questions.

"I'm not sure," I reply truthfully. "Would you miss Earth? Could this ever be home for you?"

And I know he knows what I'm asking.

"This could never be home without you, Liz. You are home to me," Max answers. "I want to be with you so much it hurts. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you to have my children. I want you to be my queen."

"You already have a queen, and a child. Max, I know Tess is well, evil, but have you ever considered Ava? She's very sweet and I know she adores you," I tell him, afraid to look up at him.

"Liz, if you even try to feed me any of that destiny crap, I promise that I will show you exactly what I think of it," Max threatens tipping my chin up to look into my eyes. "Not that I would mind showing you… Besides I really don't think that's at all what Ava would want. She would be queen, if I asked her to, because she would think it was her duty, but I know she would never be happy."

I nod. Ava's specifically told me that she would never want to be queen. She said it just wasn't her thing. She just never desired to be that kind of leader, to make those kinds of decisions, to carry that weight. Ava says she feels most comfortable doing her part from the side, supporting the leader. She doesn't want to be in the spotlight, and she's not sure she could even handle it.

"What about Aunkana?" I dare to inquire.

I HATE to admit it, but princess purple will just not stay out of my mind. I don't know why I just can't leave it alone. I'm not angry with him for sleeping with her. I slept with Khivar multiple times. And if I really was dead I would have wanted him to move on and find someone else, not spend his life miserable and alone. I guess I'm jealous. Of the respect he has for her. Of all this time she's gotten to be in his life when I haven't.

"What about her? How many times do I have to tell you that I don't want her, that I want you? She'll never be more than a good friend to me. You're the only woman there is for me Liz," Max asserts firmly, pressing his forehead to mine.

When Max came from the future and asked me to give him up, asked me to sacrifice my happiness, my future, for the good of a planet that I'd never seen and never in my wildest dreams thought I would see, I didn't even hesitate. I loved him that much. I loved him enough to die a thousand deaths for him. I loved him enough that I would have spent my entire lifetime without him, that I had planned to. I gave him up for a destiny greater than me, giving myself up at the same time.

Something went wrong though, something wasn't right with that plan, with future Max's calculations, because Max wasn't any stronger without me. He went to Tess, and Tess betrayed him. And Alex died. All for a lost cause.

A lost cause? Was it in vain? For a long time I thought that it was.

The plan failed, Tess left Earth with Max's son. It seemed like everything I did was for nothing. And when Max and I got back together, I thought for certain that Future Max was completely wrong about everything. Because I was sure Max and I should be together. And I regretted not confessing to Max that I hadn't slept with Kyle, not being honest with him, right away after it all happened.

But after I was ripped away from Max again, it seemed to me that we had no right to try to cheat his destiny, try to change how it should have been. I thought that I should have never come along in the first place and that he should have let me die. I mean, I ended up costing him his title, his claim to the throne!

He was an alien king from another planet, I was just an insignificant girl from Earth. How could our destinies possibly fit together?

Destiny. How I despised that word!

But there's a small part of me, inside of me, that keeps telling me not to lose hope, not to give up. Because my destiny is bigger than I ever imagined. There's a voice inside of me that was very weak for a long time, but it's growing stronger and stronger. It's telling me all these crazy things that I am afraid to hear, afraid to believe.

And there are times when I look at the past, my past, when I catch just a glimpse of how it all falls together, of what it was all for, and scariest of all, where it is all leading to.

I gave up Max and he went to Tess. Tess killed Alex. But in the end, Alex's death exposed Tess for who she really is, proved how poor of queen she would be for Max, and prevented Max from falling into a trap that would have meant certain death. Alex gave his life for Max, and in many ways, I suspect all of us.

I don't know how the other future was, so I don't know exactly how different things are now. I do know that Khivar still plans to take over the Earth. And I know that he didn't just happen to let Max come back to Antar. Max is here because Khivar wants him here. Khivar plans to kill him. I'm not exactly sure how. But Khivar doesn't intend to allow Max to go back to Earth. He wants Max out of the way so there won't be any resistance when he tries to wipe out my entire race.

So the end of the world, the end of Earth, is still lingering out there. The question is, have things changed in a way that we will be able to stop it?

It all comes down to what happens here, what happens on Antar. I don't want to see my people become like the Antarians, listless souls without voices, servants of an evil tyrant.

But where do I fit in? How do I fit in? And what about Max?

Moreover, what's to become of the two of us?

After Tess left, there were rocky times, many doubts, but somehow, Max and I got through. When Max and I finally came together, we built something between us, something grand that would have lasted for lifetimes to come. And while I'm afraid to hope, something tells me that it still could last that long, that it still will. What we had was amazing. Though I'm scared to look, every part of me is telling me that it is still there.

And there are constantly those questions, with no answers, that won't leave me alone.

Why am I here? Why am I still alive? And why do I keep ending up with Max back in my life? If I'm not supposed to be with Max, how come he is standing in front of me right now with his arms around me? How come this feels so right?

Max doesn't push the matter of our relationship any further. He just closes his eyes for a long moment, breathing deeply. Then he kisses the bridge of my nose softly and pulls back, taking my hand in his.

"C'mon. Let's go find the Likoma. Where did you say you left it?" Max wonders.

"Over there," I point once again.

Max and I walk over in the direction I came from. I show him the opening of the secret passage. We search over the ground to find it, but the Likoma isn't there.

"I swear I left it right here!" I proclaim with frustration. "I set it down right next to this bush. I know I did."

Max surveys the area frowning.

"Someone was messing with you Liz. They needed you to get the book for them and led you out here to rob you of it. They tried to kill you as well," Max states.

Max takes out a communication device. He speaks into it, telling Michael that there has been a problem and that he and I will be returning to the ship.

"We have to get out of here," Max says, putting an arm around me. "Someone might still be out here."

"I'm sorry, Max," I apologize as we quickly more through the garden. "I know you really need that book. I shouldn't have been so careless with it. I just – I swear Max, it was real. What the book said to me was real. I don't think it was someone messing with my mind. It didn't feel like that at all. I mean, since I have become aware of my powers, and learned more about them, I have been able to tell when someone is trying to mess with my mind. I can't really distinguish so much what has been done in the past, but I can pick it out when someone is trying to warp me now that my mind is stronger. Even Khivar and Tess. I can tell when it's them easily because I know what they feel like when they invade my mind. This wasn't like that though. Someone was watching me, but I think they only got lucky when I put the book down."

"Well, we will get to the bottom of this and get the book back. Michael's going to transport us back to our ship so you can tell us exactly what happened and we can start to figure out what happened," Max states.

"What about Ava?" I ask. "She didn't want to be left alone with Khivar for too long."

"We'll send Lonnie in disguised as you, for the time being just in case. That should buy us plenty of time," Max decides.

Max stops us in a big open area. He places me an arm's length a way and tells me to stand still.

"Two for transport," Max says into the communicator.

And then I feel a funny tingling sensation all over before it all goes blank.


TBC..................

Feedback is a great motivator! Thanks for all the feedback I got after the last part!

Everyone, this beautiful banner was done by Elena! Thanks so much!



To be, or not to be ... that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take up arms against a sea of troubles - and by opposing them end them?
To die... To sleep... no more...
And by a sleep to say we end the heartache, and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to..
Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished!

To die... To sleep...
To sleep? Perchance to dream!
Ay there's the rub! For in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil, must give us pause...

- Hamlet's speech upon contemplating suicide



The last part is located here in case you need a refresher...


http://www.roswellfanatics.net/viewtopi ... &start=230


-Previously-

Destiny. How I despised that word!

But there's a small part of me, inside of me, that keeps telling me not to lose hope, not to give up. Because my destiny is bigger than I ever imagined. There's a voice inside of me that was very weak for a long time, but it's growing stronger and stronger. It's telling me all these crazy things that I am afraid to hear, afraid to believe.

And there are times when I look at the past, my past, when I catch just a glimpse of how it all falls together, of what it was all for, and scariest of all, where it is all leading to.

I gave up Max and he went to Tess. Tess killed Alex. But in the end, Alex's death exposed Tess for who she really is, proved how poor of queen she would be for Max, and prevented Max from falling into a trap that would have meant certain death. Alex gave his life for Max, and in many ways, I suspect all of us.

I don't know how the other future was, so I don't know exactly how different things are now. I do know that Khivar still plans to take over the Earth. And I know that he didn't just happen to let Max come back to Antar. Max is here because Khivar wants him here. Khivar plans to kill him. I'm not exactly sure how. But Khivar doesn't intend to allow Max to go back to Earth. He wants Max out of the way so there won't be any resistance when he tries to wipe out my entire race.

So the end of the world, the end of Earth, is still lingering out there. The question is, have things changed in a way that we will be able to stop it?

It all comes down to what happens here, what happens on Antar. I don't want to see my people become like the Antarians, listless souls without voices, servants of an evil tyrant.

But where do I fit in? How do I fit in? And what about Max?

Moreover, what's to become of the two of us?

After Tess left, there were rocky times, many doubts, but somehow, Max and I got through. When Max and I finally came together, we built something between us, something grand that would have lasted for lifetimes to come. And while I'm afraid to hope, something tells me that it still could last that long, that it still will. What we had was amazing. Though I'm scared to look, every part of me is telling me that it is still there.

And there are constantly those questions, with no answers, that won't leave me alone.

Why am I here? Why am I still alive? And why do I keep ending up with Max back in my life? If I'm not supposed to be with Max, how come he is standing in front of me right now with his arms around me? How come this feels so right?

Max doesn't push the matter of our relationship any further. He just closes his eyes for a long moment, breathing deeply. Then he kisses the bridge of my nose softly and pulls back, taking my hand in his.

"C'mon. Let's go find the Likoma. Where did you say you left it?" Max wonders.

"Over there," I point once again.

Max and I walk over in the direction I came from. I show him the opening of the secret passage. We search over the ground to find it, but the Likoma isn't there.

"I swear I left it right here!" I proclaim with frustration. "I set it down right next to this bush. I know I did."

Max surveys the area frowning.

"Someone was messing with you Liz. They needed you to get the book for them and led you out here to rob you of it. They tried to kill you as well," Max states.

Max takes out a communication device. He speaks into it, telling Michael that there has been a problem and that he and I will be returning to the ship.

"We have to get out of here," Max says, putting an arm around me. "Someone might still be out here."

"I'm sorry, Max," I apologize as we quickly more through the garden. "I know you really need that book. I shouldn't have been so careless with it. I just – I swear Max, it was real. What the book said to me was real. I don't think it was someone messing with my mind. It didn't feel like that at all. I mean, since I have become aware of my powers, and learned more about them, I have been able to tell when someone is trying to mess with my mind. I can't really distinguish so much what has been done in the past, but I can pick it out when someone is trying to warp me now that my mind is stronger. Even Khivar and Tess. I can tell when it's them easily because I know what they feel like when they invade my mind. This wasn't like that though. Someone was watching me, but I think they only got lucky when I put the book down."

"Well, we will get to the bottom of this and get the book back. Michael's going to transport us back to our ship so you can tell us exactly what happened and we can start to figure out what happened," Max states.

"What about Ava?" I ask. "She didn't want to be left alone with Khivar for too long."

"We'll send Lonnie in disguised as you, for the time being just in case. That should buy us plenty of time," Max decides.

Max stops us in a big open area. He places me an arm's length a way and tells me to stand still.

"Two for transport," Max says into the communicator.

And then I feel a funny tingling sensation all over before it all goes blank.





Chapter 15

And the next thing I know, I find myself in a silver paneled room, face to face with Michael, who is sitting at a control desk.

Whoa. What a rush!

I look over at Max with wide eyes. He shrugs. He's obviously got this whole space jump thing down.

"I didn't know the Sanathians had concieved the technology to defy the laws of spacail contingency," I gasp.

"Yeah, well Khivar doesn't know either, and we'd really like to keep it that way. Do don't you go telling him about our transporter," a voice behind me barks.

I spin around to find Aunkana glaring at me indignantly.

"Don't worry Aunkana. She won't tell, will you Liz?" Max claims, taking my hand in his.

"No, I won't tell," I shake my head, squeezing Max's hand in mine, under her scrutiny.

The gesture doesn't go unnoticed by her and she frowns slightly. I want her to know that Max isn't up for grabs, though. This is my territory that she has been trespassing on and I don't like it one bit.

The sudden wave of protectiveness hits me by surprise.

Max is mine. I want Max to be mine. He belongs to me. And I? I belong to him? Will I ever let myself be his again?

I stare back at Aunkana unwavering.

"C'mon," Max breaks into the awkward silence that has developed. "Lets go to the breifing room so Liz can share what happened and we can decide together what to do from there. Liz doesn't really have a lot of time that she can be away from the palace."

"I suppose I can see how Khivar might miss his fiancé," Aunkana states. "I'll go find Isabel. All the captains are out training with their ships and running practice drills in the virtual reality simulators so they will be unable to attend."

"Alright, find Isabel and meet us in the breifing room," Max nods.

Max leads me out of the silver paneled room with Michael in tow. As we stroll through the ship, Max gives me an unofficial tour, pointing out each room and its purpose as we pass by.

"This ship is brand new, built with the latest technology expressly for Michael, Isabel and me," Max informs me with pride. "Down that hallway is the sleeping quarters of all the highest ranking officers. My bed chamber is at the very end of the hall. And over here is our kitchen. The food practically cooks itself. Are you thirsty? Hungry? Can I get you anything, Liz?"

"I could go for a Snapple," Michael pipes in.

Max rolls his eyes.

"Liz?" Max asks me patiently.

"Actually, I am a little thirsty. What do you have to drink?" I wonder.

"Anything you'd like," Max answers.

"Hmmmm…. Anything? I suppose a cold soda might be nice," I shrug.

"Coke alright?" Max inquires.

"Sure," I smile at Max as he gets me my drink out of a huge computerized refrigeration device.

"Ice?" Max questions smiling back at me.

"Yes, please," I tell him. "That would be wonderful. At the palace we always have to drink wine or some other upscale beverage meant to impress dinner guests. I can't tell you how many times I've craved a nice ice cold Coke."

"I'd like some ice too," Michael adds.

Max frowns at him.

I try not to laugh. I'd forgetten how entertaining interactions between the two of them can be.

"Michael I know you know how to find your way around the kitchen," Max asserts. "I'm helping Liz because she doesn't know how to work anything or where everything is."

"If only I had boobs," Michael grumbles under his breath and sets to work fixing his own drink.

Max hands me a Coke and gets a beverage for himself.

"Cherry Coke?" I guess.

"Still my favorite," Max grins.

Michael beats angrily on the ice machine with his fist.

"Why won't this damn thing work?!" Michael curses.

"Because you are too rough on it," Max sighs exasperated. "You have to be gentler and be patient with it. You only have to push the button once and not so hard. Hurry up, we don't want to keep Isabel and Aunkana waiting. We're both still in the dog house after the little party we let the boys throw last night."

"You guys throw parties here?" I wonder surprised.

Max and the word "party" have never really been in the same sentence in my vocabulary.

"Yeah, well, we let some of our fighter pilots throw quite a party, but Isabel wasn't much too pleased about, well for starters, the noise, and then there were the um….guests the men invited," Max explains.

A confused look crosses my face.

"Strippers," Michael clarifies as ice finally comes out of the machine.

"I just don't understand why Isabel had to get that upset though. I mean, these men have been stuck in space for months working day and night for us. Why not let them have a little fun for once? Isabel doesn't have to come to the party if she doesn't think she'll enjoy the company," Max states stubbornly.

I giggle at the thought of Max Evans and strippers in the same room.

"What's so funny?" Max questions.

"You," I chuckle. "And strippers. Pleeeaaasse!"

"Hey! I resent that. I happen to hang out with a lot of strippers," Max insists.

"He went in his room and watched ESPN on satellite relay when they started to take their clothes off," Michael smirks. "You should have seen the look on his face when one of the girls offered him a complementary lapdance. Right after that he bolted out of there!"

I laugh even harder.

"Yeah, well, you went with me!" Max points out defensively. "In fact, as I recall, it was you who wanted to go catch the end of the Yankees game. Besides, that chick had a third boob, and it was disturbing me. I didn't want to find out what other extra appendages our 'guests' might have. And it was your idea to invite them, anyways! You could have stayed!"

"I don't want to get in trouble with the little misses," Michael shakes his wedding ring at Max. "When I said strippers, I didn't know that there are actually chicks that make intergalactic house calls. I was kidding…for the most part. Those strippers had nasty tits. They were not really what I was picturing. The strippers or the tits."

I can't stop laughing at these two dorks and their alien stripper run in.

"At least you went and found an alternative manly activity to engage in," I snicker. "So Michael, who's the lucky girl? Anyone I know?"

I can hardly believe Michael of all people managed to tie the knot and took such a monumental step into world of commitment. Michael's not a bad guy; in fact, he's a great guy. But after his crappy childhood and with all the crazy alien happening, it seems entirely impressive that he managed to settle down and find himself a slab of happiness.

Max and Michael exchange a look.

"You didn't tell her?" Michael questions.

"She never asked," Max responds with a certain amount of regret in his voice. "I didn't really want to just throw everything at her too fast."

"Liz, Maria and I got married," Michael tells me softly, a gentle smile on his face. "We've been married for almost six years now."

"Really?" I utter in shock for lack of anything better to say.

My best friend got married and I wasn't there.

Maria. How I loved her.

She was… everything… my world… for so long. I grew up with her; I shared all my secrets with her. She lifted me up with I was down, made me smile even through tears, and carried me through the hardest parts of my adolescence. She always accepted me and always believed in me.

But the thing about those best girl friends is that eventually a boy comes along and changes the meaning of "best friend."

Max was a royal screw up for a long time. And in all that time Maria still took care of me. But there came a time when I grew out of her as my best friend figure and grew into Max, who was to be my future husband.

I still carried about Maria, but before I was taken, a certain distance had grown between us as our life paths started to take different turns.

Oh, how I loved Maria! Still love Maria… All this time, it's been unbearable to think of her, back on Earth, living her life without me, without even knowing that I was alive. I can only imagine what it would have been like if I had found out she was dead. We dealt with Alex dying, but we had each other. She had to take my death alone, and she became the single musketeer left.

But she wasn't alone. Michael was there. I can see it in his eyes. He was there for the deepest valleys of her life. He was there and I wasn't. I wasn't...

It doesn't really surprise me too much that they got married. Maria told me that she was never going to get married, but I knew that someday she would.

Maria and Michael had broken up in the middle of our senior year in highschool when she went off to New York to pursue her music career. But then she had come to my aid at the Winnamin Acedemy after things started to get crazy. She stood by my side as the faithful friend she was because I had needed her so desperately with all that was going on. She came back to Roswell with me when I came back and stuck around to graduate highschool. During the summer after graduation, Maria and Michael became friends again, but just friends. Maria had been a little weary of Michael following her to New York, but he was her new manager afterall, and he somehow managed to convince her it would be okay if he came.

Max had told me that Michael couldn't stand to not be in her life. That she was the best thing in his life, everything to Michael, even if he was to afraid to admit it, and Max didn't know what Michael would have done if she wouldn't let him come. Michael would have been utterly lost without her.

Maria gave in though, and it was pretty much clear to everyone but Maria that eventually she and Michael would get back together. He wasn't the same Michael that he used to be. He'd grown up a lot since their break up.

And now… they are married. Maria and Micheal are married. They've been married the past six years, which means that they got married when they were nineteen. Just like Max and I were supposed to.

"It was a beautiful wedding, Liz," Max tells me with sadness in his eyes as he slips a comforting arm around me. "You would have loved it."

I wonder if he is thinking the same thing I am.

"We got married in Las Vegas," Michael smirks. "By Elvis… It was beautifully tacky."

I almost feel sick to my stomach. I'm bombarded by the vision of Max and my wedding day that future Max passed on to me. The wedding day that I stopped from happening. The future I altered. I could have had that, but instead I gave myself this, this hell.

I gave up all that for Max. Because his future self asked me to. I gave up his happiness and mine for this measley planet! I gave the life of one of my best friends! I gave my life, all for him.

At the time, if I had truly understood what I was doing, what I was giving, what I was sacrificing, what I was getting, I probably wouldn't have been able to do what I did. Maybe it's good then, that I had no idea what I was getting into. I wouldn't have had the strength to go through with it otherwise.

And a part of me can't help but think that maybe if Max had known that day in the Crashdown, what saving me would really mean, he wouldn't have been able to do it either. If he could have weighed all the cost and benefits, lined them all up side by side, maybe he would have just walked out the front door of the crashdown before this whole thing even got started.

"Don't you ever think that Liz!" Max breathes.

I whip my downcast eyes up to catch Max's measuring gaze.

Michael looks back and forth at the two of us, confused. Then he shrugs.

Good heavens, do you hear every thought? I wonder.

I can't help it. I don't really try to hear you, but you're always there, always in my head, especially when you're upset. I'm not sure you even know it, but you are constantly reaching out to me with your mind. You're everywhere, Liz. It's like you're in me. Since I first saw you again our connection has increasingly intensified.

Why can't I always hear you in my mind then?

Max sighs heavily.

Because you don't let me in, Liz. You shut me out as much as you can. You push me away. Unless you want something. Max informs me sorrowfully.

What do I say to that? How can I dispute the truth with him? I cannot even offer an explanation right now because I am too confused.

Liz, honey, you have to stop thinking that you are unworthy, that you should have died, that I shouldn't have saved you, that you deserved this terrible prison. I love you, Liz. I love you. And I would save you every day of my life with no regrets if that was what I had to do. I will never every resent saving you or the changes that brought my life. Ever! So don't you dare think that. I wasn't even alive until I saved you. You showed me what living really was, what it felt like to have life! You never deserved any of this and none of this is your fault.

Max how can you keep doing this? How can you keep this up? How can you continue to fight for me while I continue to turn away? How can you go on loving me?

I'll love you forever, Liz, during the good, during the bad, because I love you. I fight for you because I love you. I can't not fight. It was never choice; there was never another option for me. You are my destiny, Liz. I have so much hope for the life that we will have together, and I believe in you with all my heart.

But what if at the end of it all, you are left with nothing? What if Khivar kills me? What if I betray you? What if you lose, Max? What if you get nothing? What if all your hope is in vain? What if it turns out I'm not worth all of this?! What if we all die?! What if we all lose Max?!!!

If we don't fight for those few things that we truly believe in, we all lose anyways, we all still die. I don't know what's going to happen; I don't know how things will play out. But you will be worth it, Liz. You have always been and always will be worth it for me. Everthing I've done so far, everything that I'm going to do, is worth this one single moment that I am spending with you right now. I know that you won't betray me Liz. I trust you with my life and I have complete faith in you. I've seen your soul, and no matter how much you try to, you can't hide from me. You try to push me away, but little by little, you let me in. You just can't help it. I know, Liz. I've seen.

Max knows what? He's seen what?

"Hey kids, I don't mean to interrupt the little mind talk or whatever you two got going on, but we really should go catch up with Aunkana and Isabel," Michael breaks in. "I tell you what, I'll make this really simple for you, Liz, because I know what you're going through."

I glare at Michael pointedly and he shifts uncomfortably.

"Well, kinda… Look, I know you have doubts or whatever. And you've probably imagined every single horrible scenario that could happen and made lists and lists of all the things that could go wrong. But the fact is, you love Max, kid. And you can't escape the one you love. Believe me. I tried. I pushed Maria away for years before I realized that, no matter what comes, she is where I belong. You can't be afraid to take a risk for love," Michael states wisely. "Now let's get our asses to the briefing room."

Michael stoicly makes his way out of the kitchen and Max and I follow dumbly.

"Well that was unusually sentimental for his taste. When did he become such a romantic?" I whisper to Max.

"You have no idea!" Max sighs, his mouth close to my ear, his hot breath falling on my neck. "Since he's happily married now, he thinks it's his job to give everyone else advice on their love life. He's practically Ann Landers."

Max's hand finds the small of my back and I relish in the protective gesture. I look up in to his eyes and he smiles down at me. A shy smile crosses my lips. We enter the briefing room, lost in each others eyes and the tempting promises there.

Maybe I didn't fall in love with the wrong guy. Maybe…

"Damnit, Michael, I thought I told you no more hookers!" I hear Isabel screech.

I break my gaze at Max to direct my attention at Isabel.

Oh…yeah. Still wearing skanky lingerie.

"Liz!" Isabel gasps in surprise. "I didn't see your face. I thought… Nevermind."

Aunkana snickers.

I frown.

Max frowns.

Michael rolls his eyes.

"For the last time, they weren't hookers, Iz," Michael proclaims. "They were strippers! Strippers!"

"They were gross Michael. They looked very diseased. I don't want them on the ship. End of discussion," Isabel asserts. "You weren't even hanging out with them anyways, so what do you care?"

"Lobbying for the rights of my fellow man," Michael shrugs.

"ANYWAYS," Max cuts in before they can take their squabbling any further. "Sorry, Liz. We've been on this ship cooped up together way too long and some of us are taking it better than others."

Michael and Isabel glare at each other.

"Liz, why don't you sit down and tell us exactly what happened to you tonight," Max prompts me gently.

I sit down and tell them exactly what happened from the time I left Ava in Khivar's room until now, to the very best of my recollection.

"So, basically, a book, which you named Fred, talked to you, gave you some sort of history lesson, told you that you had retrieve the granolith crystal, and then tried to kill you?" Michael scowls skeptically.

"It didn't try to kill me!" I insist. "I didn't imagine any of it, and it wasn't some fancy mind warp. I'm sure of it. I have to go find the granolith crystal and destroy it before whoever stole the book does. I going to take my ship into the desert first thing in the morning and retrieve it myself."

"No way, Liz. Not by yourself you aren't. It's too dangerous," Michael shakes his head before Max can even jump in to protest. "You're just going to have to wait until someone can go with you, and unfortunately tomorrow morning we are all tied up in meetings. And Lonnie will be busy with Khivar, and Ava will have to stay to cover for you. Maybe in a few days one of us will be able to go with you."

"Michael, I'm going!" I cross my arms. "You don't understand. I have to get to that crystal before someone else does. It's imperative!"

"I understand that you think there is something out there that you have to find. But we can't let you go out there alone. It's a majority security risk. What if it's a trap and someone is out there waiting for you? Or what if whoever did steal the book manages to make it out there at the same time? Or what if there is a sandstorm and you get buried alive? Absolutely not, you can't go alone," Michael asserts.

Who put him in charge? Why is he suddenly so about my security?

"Max," I plead, pouting.

"Liz, of course I'm going to have to side with Michael on this. You've only just learned to pilot. And you aren't terribly experienced with your powers. Someone should be with you just in case," Max agrees.

"Max Evans, if you think you can tell me what to do…" I fume angrily.

"If you try to go alone, we'll tractor beam you back to our ship," Michael threatens.

"This is ridiculous! I'm not some little kid. I can take care of myself. I fly just fine; I've never made a mistake. And as for my powers, well, I assure you, they are more developed than you would think," I proclaim.

Michael, on cue, becomes frozen in his position as his body begins to drift upwards towards to ceiling. Michael tries to fight my powers but with little luck. He relies too much on the hands frozen at his side for action. It's hard for him to use his mind alone to fight me off. Michael tries to say something but because he is frozen it only come out as a growl.

"Liz," Max says my name sternly.

"What makes you think I know what’s going on?" I shrug innocently, inspecting my fingernails. "Maybe Michael's just full of hot air."

I'm actually kind of amazed myself that I subdued Michael so easily. Since finding that book my powers seem to be pulsing with untapped energy. Micheal starts to float in a slow rotation and soon finds himself upside down.

"Liz, that's enough," Max snaps with irritation.

I sigh and release Michael who falls to the ground flat on his butt. Michael scowls and stands up, rubbing his rear.

"You know, if you hadn’t relied so much on your hands, you probably could have taken me," I point out, seriously. "I bet you could hit the tip of a pencil from a half a mile away, but when you don't have your hands to wave at something, well, you can blow it up, but that doesn't do a lot of good when you need to make a less than explosive escape."

"That wasn't fair," Michael sulks. "You caught me off guard."

"Life's not fair! Do you think Khivar is just going to announce his attack so you all can be ready?!" I proclaim. "You all think that I have no clue what's going on, that I sit down there living it up as Khivar's spoiled pet. But let me tell you something; I have been watching him, them all, for years, studying them, their weaknesses, their faults. I have only been waiting for the day when I could make my move, when I could escape from this hell. They have been both underestimated and overestimated. I know your weaknesses Michael, because I have seen Rath in action, but you don't have to let his flaws be yours. Do not write me off; do not patronize me. I am your greatest asset. Lonnie used to be one of them, was caught up in their tainted ideals, but I have been watching them from the outside and scheming an end since the very beginning. You all need me just as much as I need you if we ever plan to succeed. I'm not a pawn here; I'm playing the game just like everyone else. If we are ever going to get anywhere you are going to have to trust me and trust my judgement."

"That would be a lot easier if you hadn't just suddenly joined our side. How do we know if we can trust you, if you are even sane? The only agenda you seem to be following is your own," Isabel accuses. "You don't care about anyone but yourself!"

Isabel is slammed against the wall, her cheek smashed to the metal.

"Liz!" Max reproachs me and I find myself pressed back against the same cold metallic wall right next to Isabel.

You are treading on thin ice, Liz. Max tells me.

I relaease my hold on Isabel, and Max releases his hold on me.

"She tries to physically harm me and I am supposed to trust her?" Isabel scoffs.

"She wouldn't have really hurt you Is, and you know it. She was trying to get your attention to prove her point. Don't be so self-righteous," Max scolds. "But Liz, you must control your temper. I swear to you Liz, if you abuse your powers again on one of us, I won't hesistate to subdue you by whatever means necessary."

"Before you threaten me, Max, you better be sure you can back your words up. I'm not a pushover anymore, honey, and I don't like being shoved into corners. I'm not little human Liz Parker anymore. I have the same capabilities and qualifications as any of you. And as for my priorities, Isabel, I only have one: Eagan. So I guess you're right to assume that you don't make the list," I sneer.

Watch where you step, Liz.

"Oh, yes, everything you do is for the good of Max and Tess's son, how could I have forgotten. Tell me Liz, why is that? What is it that makes him the only one you are willing to fight for? Please, do enlighten me," Isabel mocks.

"Innocence," I respond carefully. "An innocence that neither you, nor I, nor Max possesses."

"Oh well, how lovely. You are doing all of this because his innocence appeals to you. You know what, Liz? You are really something. Wake up! Look around! Why can't you see what is right in front of you! You are the craziest bi-" Isabel starts.

"Isabel, I swear if you finish that-" Max breaks into her parole with a threat.

"I don't know why, Isabel, why I have to protect him, why I wake up from nightmares fearing only for his safety. I have no idea why he is so important to me, but it doesn't matter to me who his parents are. I've watched him grow up and fallen in love with him in the process. In part it is the innocence, but… there is something else. Personally, I think it's just some more of your crazy mixed up alien mojo that somehow got misplaced on me. And we both know that happens far too often," I point out. "And for the record, I suppose I might stick my neck out for Max as well, but darling, don't you be holding your breath."

Isabel narrows her eyes and growls, her nostrils flaring.

"You don't have a clue," Isabel utters, her voice disturbingly low. "I pity you, Liz. I really do."

What the heck? What is she talking about.

"She's only trying to piss you off, Is," Max sighs rubbing his temples in exhaustion. "Liz, stop trying to provoke her."

"She started it," I remind him.

"She's an ignorant, ungrateful, little tramp," Isabel insults. "Max how can you stand there and take this from her. What's wrong with you? Why don't you tell-"

"Enough!" Max exclaims with exasperation. "From both of you. Liz, I'm sorry but you simply cannot go out into the desert alone. It has nothing to do with trust or capability. I am fully aware of how strong you are. I wouldn't allow any one of us to go out there alone either."

"But, Max, you don't realize how important this is. We don't have another choice. We have to get the granolith crystal before it falls into the wrong hands," I protest.

"Liz, I'm sorry," Max doesn't budge. "Maybe in a few days-"

"That will be too late!" I pout. "Why don't you believe me? If you thought that this was even remotely important you would find some way to go out there yourself. Max, please, trust me on this…"

Max, please, you don't understand.

Liz, I'm sorry. You know I can't let you. It's just not safe.

This has nothing to do with safe. When have we ever played it safe? You're not being fair. You don't believe me. You think someone was messing with my mind. Admit it.

You're right, Liz, I do think someone was messing with you. But that doesn't have anything to do with the fact that this mission you are proposing is deadly dangerous.

You know, you should be glad I won't agree to marry you because tonight you would be sleeping on the couch.

"I'll go with her," Aunkana states, snapping Max and me out of our mind talk.

"What?" Max questions in surprise.

"Liz needs someone to go with her and I'll go. What if she actually does know what she's talking about and there is a crystal out there and it falls into the wrong hands? We can't afford to take that kind of risk, not now, not when we are so close. I'll skip the morning deliberations and send my father in alone. I'll go out into the desert with Liz to search the wreckage. It won't be hard for me to slip away," Aunkana annonces.

"Are you sure?" Isabel looks at her like she is just as crazy as me.

"Yes. I think we at least need to check this out," Aunkana responds without hesitation. "What if there is even a hint of truth to what she is saying. We always just assumed that everything was destroyed in the crash because Khivar did. I think this is worth looking into a little further."

"Good, then tomorrow morning we leave at dawn. Be in the shuttle dock by my ship and don't be late," I say as if I'm not at all surprised and it means nothing to me that Aunkana was the only one to agree with me. "Now, if you will all excuse me, I must get back down to the planet and relieve Ava and Lonnie."

I walk purposely to the door and then stop and turn hesitantly.

"Can someone beam me back down?" I wince.

"Oh, I'll beam you down…" Michael mutters menacingly.

Max shoots him a warning glance. I frown.

"C'mon, Liz," Max says softly. "I'll transport you back to the palace grounds."

"Thank you," I respond my eyes gratefully meeting his.

Max takes my hand in his, leading me, showing his continued support of me. I feel foolish for acting so childish with Michael and Isabel. I turn back again impulsively.

"I'm not your enemy, you know. We all have the same goals here. I want to protect Eagan and hopefully win my freedom back somewhere along the way, and to do that it is essential that I bring down Khivar. I'm sorry that I'm not exactly the same as you remember me, but I'm still me, I'm still Liz Parker. And you have to know that I will still do whatever it takes to get done what needs to be done. My methods may be a little more unconventional than they used to be, but you can still count on me," I declare and duck out the door without waiting to see what the response might be.

I follow Max as he guides me back the way we came, making small talk.

"She doesn't hate you, you know," Max proclaims suddenly in the middle of a conversation on perennial Antarian flowers.

"Isabel?" I question, confused.

"No, Aunkana," Max responds. "But Isabel, too. She doesn't hate you either. Isabel is just afraid. She's scared because she was once dupped by Khivar into betraying the ones she loved. She's afraid for you, that he will still be able to manipulate you. She identifies with you more than you would think, Liz, and that terrifies her. It's hard for her to recoginize you as the same person anymore, but with time I know that she will see how the best parts of you are still there. Right now, most of all, she is frustrated that you haven't found out the complete truth of your disappearance. There are still things that we don't even know, and that scares her as well. She can't understand why you aren't as eagar as we are to know what happened to you."

"It's not that I don't want to know, Max," I say. "I'm just a little scared myself to know what happened. It is all starting to trickle back, and I still have a lot to get used to, and I just…"

"It's okay, Liz," Max gives me a comforting squeeze. "When the time is right, you won't have to search for the truth, it will come to you. Isabel will realize that she just needs to let you do this in your own time; don't worry. And Michael will come around as soon as you stop throwing him around. And Aunkana, there are times when I sense she is jealous, but I know that she has a great deal of respect for you and what you have been through. She knows what kind of a monster Khivar is and she would love to see you succeed. She, too, identifies with you, Liz."

"Aunkana?" I question skeptically.

"Yeah," Max nods solemnly looking down.

And I sense there is more that he isn't telling me.

What happened? I ask him with my mind. Or can you not say?

I think that she would like to tell you her story herself in her own time. Max answers carefully.

"I understand," I nod.

There is a silence for sometime before Max speaks again. I wait patiently.

"I hope that you find what you are looking for in the desert, Liz," Max states. "I didn't mean to be so authoritative back there. I'm just - I worry about you a lot, Liz. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you. I'm just trying to look out for your safety."

"Max, I know you want to protect me, but you can't hold me back just because you want me to be safe. In the big picture, it is not my life that matters here. It is you, the rightful king, and it is Eagan, your heir. The rest of us, we are dispensable. It sounds…wrong… but it's true. The most important thing is that Khivar is taken out of power and the rightful ruler is restored, the rest of us are just…details. I would gladly give my life for this cause Max. I've had my doubts that this can even be achieved, that we could ever overcome Khivar, but Max, I would gladly die trying. The only way that Eagan can ever truly be safe is if Khivar is gone for good, I recognize that now, and I am willing to do what it takes. I won't help you if you try to take Eagan and run though, because it is a bad idea and it will only endanger him, so please don't ask me to help you do that. However, I pledge my dying breath to the downfall of Khivar," I promise.

Max stops me, his hands gripping my forearms.

"Liz…you are not a detail," Max proclaims fiercly. "You are indefinitely important to me and when this is all over I plan to marry you and make you my wife so you better plan on that too. And Michael and Isabel…. and Aunkana…. and Ava and Lonnie….they are not just details. They are people and they are important. This is a war, and I know that there will be casualties, but I will do everything in my power to make sure there are as few as possible, even if it means giving my own life."

"Well, that's just sensless, Max. You survival is far more vital than any of ours!" I exclaim. "How can you be so disillusioned?"

"I'm not disillusioned, Liz. I'm human, more so than anyone ever planned for me to be. We all are. How can I ask anyone to risk their life for me if I am not willing to risk mine for them? As a man, I have to be willing to sacrifice myself for my fellow men who fight along side me, and as a king I must be willing to give my life to better my people and my kingdom," Max explains.

"Max, don't be stupid! Without you, who will rebuild the state? Who will lead them?" I demand panicked.

"If something happens to me Eagan will lead them. You, and my people, you will show him the way. My people have been surpressed and enslaved, but they have not been broken. When Khivar has been terminated, they will shed their chains and their intelligence, personality, perserverance and individuality will once again be apperant to you Liz. Khivar has stolen their lives and made them ghosts of a people. But when his power over them has been lifted I am certain that they will rise up once again and thrive. Right now, they are all controlled with the help of Khivar's super computer. He has them all under his thumb with his mind control technology," Max tells me.

"Can't we sabotage his technology? If the Antarian people were free they could help us overthrow Khivar," I respond desperately.

"Yes, they would be of some help, but it was all too easy for Khivar to subdue them with his mind the first time. His mind is so much stronger than an average Antarian mind. We, the royals, have been gifted with stronger powers, but even we have a hard time matching Khivar. Still, a joint effort of all the Antarians would be a great aid to us. We have been working on a plan to crack into Khivar's security code and shut down the mind control emission, but, it has proved to be more difficult than we imagined since the technology is located on Khivar's personal, highly secure server. One needs a mind stronger than Khivar's to break through all the levels of security," Max dispairs.

"I'll look into. Khivar's not a strong as he's been hyped to be," I assure Max.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about that Liz. I think you need to be more careful. You have been far too bold lately in regards to Khivar and your deception of him. I know on the surface it all seems to be going according to plan, but I don't want you to underestimate him. You can't be writing him off so easily. I know your mind has grown quite strong but you need to be more careful. One of these times you might not be so lucky and he might catch on," Max advises.

"It's not luck; it's skill that I have been employing. And I told you, Max, I can handle myself. Why won't you trust me with even a smidgen of responsibility? I'm not going to betray you, you know. If I was going to, I already would have," I point out.

Max sighs heavily.

"Liz, let's not quarrel. We already have far too much for one day. I hate fighting with you," Max says sorrowfully.

"I don't like fighting with you either," I relent, sighing heavily myself.

Max kisses my cheek softly. We walk hand in hand peacefully for a while before I pick up the conversation again.

"Do you remember you old life Max? Your life before on Antar? The things I read, the things the book told me, were they true?" I ask.

"For the most part, yes. I remember my past life vividly now. With Ava's help, I was able to release all the stored memories," Max replies. "And, as you can guess, it was a very trying process, remembering a life you once lived before can never be…easy."

"Do you remember Queen Ava? Was she more like Tess or like our Ava?" I wonder.

"She was… both. She was Ava's kindness and thoughtfulness with Tess's backbone and ambition. She supported me, through all that happened, to the very best of her ability. When it came to the end…things got rough…but she died a loyal servant of Antar," Max recollects. "She was very beautiful. The people were intrigued by her beauty. I knew she was beautiful, but I never appreciated her beauty like a man who was her husband should have. I felt…trapped by her. The marriage felt wrong, off. I loved Ava for who see was but I didn't love her the way a husband should love his wife. She deserved more, much more. The people adored her, and she loved it at first but after a while she started to loathe the attention and the constant pawning of her. In the end she withdrew from everything like I had and the people didn't like that. They thought I had a mistress. I never did. I was never unfaithful to my wife. But I wasn't faithful either. Everday I wonder if that was as good as it was ever going to get, if that was all there was. We tried to have children, I thought that might help and somehow fix things, but that never happened for us. I thought there must have been something wrong with me, that I should have been more than happy with my life…but something was always missing. You."

"I'm not the type of girl who should be queen, Max," I try to tell him. "When I eat soup, I dribble it all over myself. I'm sloppy, and clumsy, and I really don't look good in the ceremonial Antarian headwear-"

Max kisses me abruptly, his hands cupping my cheeks tenderly. His thumb strokes my temple as he pulls back to look me in the eye.

"You are perfect," He states authoritatively.

He kisses my forehead lightly, takes my hand, and leads me on.

It crosses my mind that he is perfect before I banish the though behind my resolve. I try not to smile stupidly. I don't know what I'm going to do with him or how long I am going to be able to hold out before I completely crumble into the arms of Max Evans.

I sigh.

Suddenly, my mind is reeling, stabbed by an unknown force that sends me sprawling to my knees. I try to get but I falter as I am hit by another overwhelming wave.

"Liz!" Max cries, alarmed. "Liz, what happened? What's wrong?!"

I can't speak. I can barely hear him as I am flooded. My eyes roll back into my head. Max clutches me as I begin to shake.

"MICHAEL!" Max yells, losing control. "HELP! ISABEL! AUNKANA!"

I see things, I feel things, I hear things. But I don't notice Michael and the others race to us.

"What's happening to her?" Max asks, scared, his voice wavering. "I can't get in her mind she's locked up. One minute she was find and the next she goes to pieces. Help me! Do something! What can we do?!"

"I don't know, Max-" Isabel looks me over worriedly.

She feels my cheeks, my forehead.

I don't feel her at all. I can only feel the sensations coming to me.

"Aunkana, what do you think? We have to do something! We have to help her!" Isabel exclaims.

Max clutchs on to my tightly, trying to forge a connection.

"I'll go get some ice. She's burning up. Michael, go find the healing stones and the destiny book. See if there isn't something about sickness in the destiny book," Aunkana orders.

I scream. Then I stop breathing.

"Oh my god! She stopped breathing!" Isabel freaks.

Max continues to concentrate, his efforts unwavering. Michael pulls me from Max's arms with unexpected force and starts to rigorously perform CPR. Max takes my hand, still trying to make the connection work.

And then I come back.

I gasp for breath, choking and coughing. I'm surprised to find Michael's face so close to mine. I blink once, twice.

Max looks down at me, his face skewed with concern. A moment later he turns pale with fright.

Michael collapses, exhausted from the revival effort.

I bolt up into a sitting position. The blood rushes to my head. I brace myself on Max as he helps me up.

"Liz, are you okay?" Michael asks me. "What happened?"

My mouth is dry.

"I have to go," I rasp, panicked. "I have to get back to the planet RIGHT NOW! You have to send me down NOW!"

Max holds on to me as I start to swagger down the hall toward the transport room. My strength begins to come back quickly and after a few steps I can walk on my own.

"Why? What happened?" Isabel questions, frightened by my strange behavior.

I keep moving, but Max turns back briefly to explain.

"It's Eagan," Max says simply, his voice unnervingly controlled.



***************************

YO! YO! Shoutouts to all you faithful readers! Thanks you for all your bumps and feedback and endless undeserved devotion to this fic. I really hope I can make it worth it to you all someday. I WILL be finishing this fic. I see the end...I have a vision.... but unfortunately I have no computer. So unless you all want to pool together and by me a laptop... summer is your best bet for the next part. Sorry, it hurts me too. I miss writing. And you never know, I might pleasantly surprise us all with a new part some random night. Sorry this chapter is poorly edited. I had some problems with like time... and it being a constraint. Well, I'm off to France tomorrow -err- today! I hope you all had a merry christmas and a happy new year! Norma, I hope you and your horses are well!

This part goes ot to Norma, who has been having health problems and Nina who just tied the knot. Congrats Nina! You've got some serious guts.


Uh, also, Elena, if you are reading this, I think my banner kind of died or something.




-Previously-


"What's happening to her?" Max asks, scared, his voice wavering. "I can't get in her mind she's locked up. One minute she was fine and the next she goes to pieces. Help me! Do something! What can we do?!"

"I don't know, Max-" Isabel looks me over worriedly.

She feels my cheeks, my forehead.

I don't feel her at all. I can only feel the sensations coming to me.

"Aunkana, what do you think? We have to do something! We have to help her!" Isabel exclaims.

Max clutchs on to my tightly, trying to forge a connection.

"I'll go get some ice. She's burning up. Michael, go find the healing stones and the destiny book. See if there isn't something about sickness in the destiny book," Aunkana orders.

I scream. Then I stop breathing.

"Oh my god! She stopped breathing!" Isabel freaks.

Max continues to concentrate, his efforts unwavering. Michael pulls me from Max's arms with unexpected force and starts to rigorously perform CPR. Max takes my hand, still trying to make the connection work.

And then I come back.

I gasp for breath, choking and coughing. I'm surprised to find Michael's face so close to mine. I blink once, twice.

Max looks down at me, his face skewed with concern. A moment later he turns pale with fright.

Michael collapses, exhausted from the revival effort.

I bolt up into a sitting position. The blood rushes to my head. I brace myself on Max as he helps me up.

"Liz, are you okay?" Michael asks me. "What happened?"

My mouth is dry.

"I have to go," I rasp, panicked. "I have to get back to the planet RIGHT NOW! You have to send me down NOW!"

Max holds on to me as I start to swagger down the hall toward the transport room. My strength begins to come back quickly and after a few steps I can walk on my own.

"Why? What happened?" Isabel questions, frightened by my strange behavior.

I keep moving, but Max turns back briefly to explain.

"It's Eagan," Max says simply, his voice unnervingly controlled.






CHAPTER 16

Max and I find Eagan in his room, huddled into a corner, crying softly as he hugs his knees to his chest.

I rush to him, dropping to my knees, scooping him into my arms, and hugging him tightly. I'm shaking, and I feel Eagan shake too in my embrace.

"Liz," Eagan cries my name and wraps his arms around my neck. "Liz, I yelled for you in my head. My mommy, my mommy… She, she, Tess hurt me, Liz…"

Eagan sniffles and cuddles into me. He rubs his nose across my collarbone. His tears wet my skin. My tears run freely in to the river of his.

Max moves from the shadows towards us. I gaze up at him through moistened eyes. His face is stricken in anguish and other emotions that I do not fully comprehend. Max kneels down next to us.

"What did she do to you, Eagan?" Max asks softly placing a comforting hand on his son's back.

Eagan looks up at Max wide-eyed.

"It's okay, Eagan," I tell him, hugging him tightly. "Tess can't hurt you anymore. I'm here and Max, your daddy, he's here too. We both love you and we want to make sure that Tess never hurts you again. It's okay, honey; you can trust Max."

Eagan sniffles again. I brush the hair lightly off of his forehead and press my lips to it gently.

"Tess put her hands on my head, and it hurt me. She, she, I think was in my head. How can Tess be in my head, Liz?" Eagan asks, confused.

"Some people are born with special powers and can do special things with their minds to other people's minds. Tess has a lot of these powers, and she can do a lot of things, just like uncle Khivar. But some of the things that some people can do with their special powers aren't very nice," I reply, my hand tenderly stroking through his hair.

"Then why would they do the things, Liz, if the things aren't nice? Why did Tess hurt me? I don't understand, Liz…" Eagan cries softly, laying his head down on my shoulder.

"I don't understand either, honey," I shake my head regretfully.

My eyes meet Max's. He's been watching me silently this whole time, his hand resting on Eagan's back. Max reaches out his other hand and lightly caresses the small of my back with a closed fist, all the while his eyes locked on mine. I rock Eagan in my arms until he falls asleep. Max gently takes him from me. He carries Eagan over to his bed and tucks him in. Max stands above him for quite a while, just watching him sleep, watching him breathe. Max affectionately ruffles Eagan's hair once, and then turns back to me.

He walks silently across the room to me. Max bends down and picks me up, his thumb brushing across my tear stained cheek. I look down. Max kisses my wet eyelids. My chest heaves, and we embrace. His arms encircle me and I bury my face in his chest, the familiar smell of Max soothing me. He comforts me, his fingertips drawing imaginary circles across my back.

"Baby," Max whispers hoarsely. "It's okay, baby. He's going to be okay, Liz."

I nod, not able to speak, overcome with emotions that I barely understand. Max holds me tightly to him.

Later, when I've composed myself, we step into the secret passages to discuss several things.

"I don't want him left alone," I tell Max, pacing back and forth. "I'll arrange it with Khivar so that his private guards are with Eagan at all times and are only to follow direct orders from Khivar himself. I know that might limit your chances to steal away into the night with your son, but I just can't let Tess touch him again. This is unacceptable, and I will not have it happening again. I want you to keep heightened surveillance on Eagan as well."

"I agree," Max concurs, watching my constant movement wearily. "I don't know exactly what she was looking for, but she was obviously desperate to go to these measures."

"She wanted to keep this from Khivar," I realize, suddenly stopping in my tracks. "She was looking for information that she believed Eagan might have, and she didn't want Khivar to know that she was looking for it."

"What the hell is she up to? It is imperative that we find out. I've never had any doubt in my mind that Tess has her own agenda here on Antar," Max frowns.

"Obviously, she would love to get rid of me, but Khivar has made it clear that he will not allow it. You are right. We need to determine what Tess was after. Can you get Isabel to dreamwalk Eagan? Perhaps she will be able to tell us more in a much less intrusive manor," I say, once again pacing.

"I will have Isabel attempt to communicate with Eagan as soon as I am back at the ship. She has visited him before in his dreams so Eagan won't be alarmed by her presence," Max replies.

"It is just inconceivable to me how Tess can treat her own child like this," I curl my lip in disgust.

"Liz, there is something I've wanted to talk to you about," Max states.

I stop pacing and gape at Max. He stares right back at me, his eyes reading me.

"Well?" I question, a bit confused.

Max inhales and exhales deeply to bolster himself.

"This better not be another 'please be my queen' speech," I scowl.

"No," Max replies quickly. "It's not that. I mean yes it is kind of about that, and you obviously know I want that, but this is more about something else…"

"Okay," I respond not sure where Max is headed with this.

Max holds his breath and just looks into my eyes for so long that I begin to think that he might pass out.

"Aunkana is really important to me," Max starts, finally letting air in and out of his lungs. "And I know that this whole weird, crazy situation has been really hard on both of you, especially you Liz. And I know that you don't like her very much, but she's trying. Offering to go with you on this mission of yours is a big step for her. Please, Liz, baby, try to put aside all this shit that is clogging up our lives and give her a fair chance, will you? For me? I know that you both are really good people, and if we are going to take down Khivar, well, we all need to work together."

I instantly hate the words that are coming out of his mouth. I hate that he thinks he has to say this to me, or even that he has a right to say this to me. Most of all, I hate that he is right.

I hug my arms tightly across my breasts. I fix my eyes on Max for a long time. His eyes gaze into mine pleadingly, unbeknownst to me pleading for something outside of my knowledge.

Finally, I sigh heavily.

"Okay," I agree quietly, looking away.

I could have just have easily launched into a long bravado telling him just what I think of his speech, but I am absolutely just too tired. I am exhausted of fighting with Max. I just don't have the energy anymore.

Max steps up in front of me. He tilts my chin up gently with his knuckle. His knuckle moves up slightly to brush over my lips softly before he very slowly pulls his hand away.

I think that he will kiss me then, but he doesn't. Instead he watches me carefully, again, judging my reaction quietly.

Liz, I love you. Heaven help me, I love you. I just can't stop myself.

A sharp feeling pierces me in my gut. I feel myself want to repeat those three magic little words back to him.

My hand moves to touch his face and my index finger traces lightly over his lips. He kisses my fingertip softly. I lean forward and gently touch my lips to his.

Bright light flashes in eyes.

I see Max standing in front of Khivar. Khivar grins evilly at Max. Max struggles to break free, but Khivar has his body frozen in place with his powers.

"I have waited a long time for this moment and now it has finally come," Khivar sneers at Max.

"You may kill me, but this planet will never be yours. And she will never be yours either!" Max declares defiantly, holding his head up with pride.

"Foolish boy, I've already won. I possess everything! Everything that ever belonged to you is already mine," Khivar retorts.

"She is going to kill you. Do not dare to think that all you have done to us will not be avenged. She will make you pay for every crime you have committed in ways that you cannot even begin to imagine," Max swears.

"I am going to lock her away in a tiny prison cell surveyed by the most powerful computer in this galaxy. There she will spend the rest of her short, insignificant life. She will never again see another living being apart from me, but believe me, she will see me. Every morning, every night, I am going to fuck her so hard, so long, so rough, so painfully, that she will cry out my name, scream for mercy, and beg me to kill her. And then I will fuck her again, just for fun," Khivar states.

Max spits venomously at Khivar in extreme hatred. The spit lands on Khivar's cheek. Khivar narrows his evil eyes.

In one swift powerful blast of energy Khivar jolts the life out of Max. Max shudders once and then falls limply to the ground, dead. Dead at the hand of his worst enemy.

I pull back from Max, shaken. My breathing comes in heavy gasps, but I quickly pull myself together.

What the fuck was that?

The past? An alternate present universe? The future? I haven't had any visions of the future since I died.

I shake my head, trying to clear my mind of the disturbing images.

"What is it?" Max asks, concerned, his hand cupping my cheek.

"Nothing," I tell him quickly, backing out of his embrace. "Nothing… I should get back to Khivar and relieve Lonnie."

Max hesitates.

"Liz, are you sure there isn't something bothering you?" Max asks, steeping towards me.

I take a step backwards and force myself to appear calm.

"I'm fine," I assure him. "I just don't like leaving Lonnie in my place for too long. I've been gone quite a while, and it is starting to make me nervous."

"Yeah, I suppose you should be getting back," Max nods solemnly, still watching me. "It's just I hate to let you go… I don't like the idea of you anywhere near him. And the things you have been doing lately are really not safe. It is all so risky, Liz."

"I'll be fine, Max," I respond, not looking directly at him. "I can take care of myself. I've figured out how to survive just fine out here on my own. I'm far more concerned about you than myself. You are the one that Khivar ultimately is after. You need to be careful Max, and I really mean that. Be cautious and don't take any unnecessary risk."

I look him in the eye. Max snorts.

"Why Liz Parker, are you worried about me?" Max asks in feigned shock. "I didn't know you cared…"

"Shut up," I punch his arm playfully. "I'm serious, Max. Be careful. "

"I'll be careful, Liz," Max states with soberness. "But you be careful too. I just found you again, and I'm not at all prepared to lose you."

He takes my hands in his and squeezes them gently. I get lost in the dark pools of his eyes and the warmth waiting for me there, momentarily forgetting all else.

"I should go," I say, reality washing back over me.

"Yeah," Max agrees with visible reluctance.

I pull my hands away from his.

"Good luck tomorrow," Max salutes me. "With the crystal… I hope that it is there as you believe and you are able to find it. I'll have Isabel visit Eagan tonight, and Aunkana can relay any findings to you in the morning."

"Okay," I nod. "And good luck to you at the summit tomorrow. I hope you can make some sort of headway against Khivar."

Max hugs me again briefly, obviously not wanting to let me leave, and we finally part ways.

I head straight back to Khivar's room. I slip into the bed chamber quietly.

Ava helps me up on to the bed, and I take Lonnie's place. I begin to explain to them what happened, but we don't have the luxury to discuss things thoroughly at the moment as Khivar, who has been undressed since I left, begins to stir slightly. Lonnie makes her self scarce, and Ava and I shed our clothes and pretend to sleep. Khivar starts to snore again. Eventually, my exhaustion at not having slept in so long, let alone slept well, begins to take over, and I feel myself gradually drift into sleep.

In my dreams, I am happy.

Eagan, Max, and I run freely through the palace gardens playing hide and seek.

It is my turn to be it.

I shield my eyes and begin to count. When I reach 100, I set off in search of Max and Eagan.

I walk through the gardens. The flowers are blooming in bright, magnificent colors, and the birds sing cordially from the treetops above. A warm breeze moves through the gardens, blowing my hair slightly to touch the back of my neck.

I can hear Eagan giggling hiding somewhere among the lively flora. I follow the noise.

Ahead of me, Max and Eagan realize I have heard them and begin to run. I chase after them, laughing, following their laughter.

As I run past the Anima it glows in a brilliant bright purple unlike anything I have ever seen before.

The chase continues. I run after them, refuse to let them get away from me.

Finally, I tumble to the ground laughing, taking Eagan and Max with me.

Eagan's older, grown several years older to resemble Max even more. Max is smiling genuinely, and the dark circles under his eyes have disappeared.

I glance up. There is a dark-haired, amber-eyed, little girl peeking at us from behind a tree. She can't be much more than three years old.

"Elodine!" Max exclaims, grinning fiercely. "I see you!"

She runs towards us, laughing wildly. She tumbles into Max's lap. Max envelopes her in his arms.

"Did I win, Daddy?" She asks him excitedly.

"Yes," Max answers, glancing at me, his eyes shining brightly. "You won. We all won."

Her amber eyes turn to me.

"Mama, we won," She smiles, her small arms reaching for me.

I sit up, suddenly awake. The early morning light pours in through the windows as a new day dawns before me.

I gaze at Ava, sleeping naked next to me on the bed, the sunshine streaming across her body. A warm breeze blows gently into the room from the outside through an open window, faintly caressing the sheer curtains of Khivar's bedchamber in the first light. Khivar is gone, having swept aside the glass from the broken wine bottle with his powers. I slide out of bed, my feet treading across the cool marble floor. I slip my robe on over my naked form.

I can't explain them, the visions, the dreams, but they continue to plague me all the same. I don't fully understand what they mean or what they are trying to tell me. What am I to do with them? They seem only to contradict each other, leaving me all the more confused.

I find Khivar in his personal study. He's reading over some documents in front of him as he scans others into the computer.

He glances up as I start towards his desk.

"Hello, my pet," Khivar smiles. "Did you have a nice sleep?"

"Yes," I yawn, responding in turn with a smile.

I walk over to him, and he pulls me into his lap. He too is wearing only a robe. I feel his hardness poke against my thigh, and I shudder, my body stiffening.

"Are you cold?" Khivar asks me, his hands rubbing my forearms to warm me.

"A little," I reply tentatively.

He wraps his arms around me and draws close to his heated form.

"I want to talk to you about something," I tell him.

Khivar pulls back to look me in the eyes. His cool blue eyes try to read into mine as he probes me with his mind.

"Yes?" He raises an eyebrow.

"It's about Tess," I go straight to the point. "I don't like the way she has been treating Eagan. You know how she has always taken out her anger at Max on him, and it has only gotten worse since Max has returned to Antar. From what Eagan's told me I have reason to believe that Tess abuses him. I think that you should increase the security measures taken on Eagan, send in your personal guards. I can't hurt. Furthermore, it will insure that Max doesn't try anything either."

"I think that is a very good idea my love," Khivar agrees, one if his hands moving to stroke the underside of one of my breasts. "I do love my sister but sometimes I suspect that she may not quite be all there all of the time, if you know what I mean… Ava exemplifies the best of the person my sister was, and Tess, she certainly is my sister, that's for sure…"

I snort.

"She does take after you…" I grin, my mood lightening considerably. "Vindictive, power hungry, domineering…"

"Charismatic, clever, ingenious…" Khivar continues playfully as he kisses my neck.

Khivar kisses my lips.

I must have kissed him thousands of times in the last several years, yet not once have I even had a remote amount of any kind of feeling attached to a single one of the kisses. Somehow, though, now the idea of kissing him, the prospect of physical intimacy, invokes in me an insuppressible dread that gives way to an intense feeling of suffocation. I find myself no longer able to fake it, no longer able to hold on to a numbed indifference.

I pull out of the kiss, gasping for air, desperate for space.

"When is your first meeting?" I ask Khivar.

"Soon," Khivar answers vaguely as he continues to fondle me.

"I should probably leave you to get ready then," I state, attempting to wriggle out of his arms.

"I can be a little late," Khivar responds tightening his grip on me and pressing me forcefully down on his raging hard-on.

"I should be going anyways," I tell him, still battling for my freedom. "I was planning on getting a few flight lessons in this morning at sunrise. I would prefer not to go to the summit today, if that is okay with you. It's just so terribly boring, and I was thinking a nice day at in the spa would be refreshing. I've been so stressed lately with this whole Max thing coming at me out of nowhere and I really need to relax…"

"That's fine with me, my love. Whatever you prefer. I imagine you will be ready for a long night of fun in bed once you are feeling rejuvenated," Khivar surmises with a wicked grin.

"Of course," I respond, forcing my lips over his one last time before finally climbing out of his strong grasp.

"See you later, my pet," Khivar gives me a smack on the ass as I retreat from the room.

I hurry back to Khivar's bedroom and wake Ava, who is still out cold, by shaking her arm gently. She groans. Ava looks at me, one eye still closed.

"Wut time's it?" She demands groggily, rolling onto her stomach to better shield herself from the penetrating morning light.

"Dawn," I reply. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to go get in some flight lessons."

I wink at her in an obvious gesture.

"Wut? At dis hour? Why?" Ava asks, her mess of hair falling across her face as she lifts her head slightly.

"I'm going to meet Aunkana," I prompt her in hushed whisper as I brush her hair out of her eyes. "To look for the crystal…"

"Oh yeah," Ava yawns laying her head back down. "Have fun wit dat…"

"Yeah, well, just remember to cover for me," I say even though I don't really need to remind her. "I'm counting on you to hold down the fort and look after Eagan…"

"Uh huh, no prob babe," Ava replies drifting back into sleep. "Will do…"

I hurry to the ship docks to meet Aunkana, changing my robe to my flight gear along the way with my powers. I pile my mess of dark hair into a ponytail high up on top on my head. As I ride the lift up the tower, I bypass computer security features and change the flight mission records to hide what I am about to attempt. When I finally get to the flight deck I find a scowling Aunkana waiting as promised beside my ship.

I can't help but be a little disappointed. I had hoped that perhaps she would forget about our engagement and leave me to go off on my crusade all alone.

If this turns out to be an elaborate plan of hers to get rid of me I am so going to kick her ass in unimaginable ways.

"You're late," Aunkana informs me, tapping her foot impatiently

"It couldn't be helped," I respond. "Did Isabel learn anything from dreamwalking Eagan?"

"Nothing conclusive," Aunkana replies. "She did manage to calm him down and talk to him a bit. But Eagan didn't have any significant clues about Tess's true intentions. Clearly though, she was searching for information about you."

I scowl. I'll have to address this problem again later with Max.

I open the ship's hatch and we climb aboard. I take the captain's seat, and Aunkana sits next to me. We begin the process of powering up.

"Welcome aboard the Whittman1," I speak into the ship intercom as I flip the switches to start the engine. "This is your captain speaking. Please fasten your seatbelt in preparation for take-off. It is crucial that all legs, arms, and any other alien appendages you might have are kept inside the ship while it remains motion. The emergency exits are located to the rear of the aircraft and on the starboard side. In the event of an emergency, it's every woman for herself. The captain asks that you try to remain seated for the duration of the flight unless otherwise necessary. Estimated flight time today will be 23 minutes. The radar shows clear skies from here on out so sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight."

I turn off the intercom and look over to find Aunkana glaring at me.

"What?" I ask innocently.

"Was that really needed?" she rolls her eyes.

"You've got to lighten up. I'm just having a little fun in my otherwise dull and boring existence so cut me some slack," I respond.

"Let's just go and get this over with. The sooner we locate this precious crystal of yours, the sooner we can get back to the summit," Aunkana states.

"Yeah, because I'd hate to miss witnessing, like, another hundred people's testimony to Khivar being an asshole. That would truly be a shame…" I shake my head in feigned remorse.

"The summit is very important to our objective," she tells me defensively.

"You are getting shit-all accomplished with this summit business," I retort. "You haven't made even the slightest bit of progress."

"The summit buys us time, which is at the moment essential to our goals," Aunkana disputes. "And the summit has allowed us a highly efficient opportunity to meet with possible conspirators, gauge our enemy, and feel out any other third parties that may become involved. The summit is an invaluable asset in our preparation of a coup. For instance, information derived from summit proceeding has been most encouraging to our overall aims as we have found that most allies of Khivar's Antar would perceive any war waged between the rightful Royal Family and Khivar as a civil war and not involve themselves, thus greatly reducing our overall projected opposition."

"Khivar is only one man, but he himself is ample opposition to wipe us all out," I assert. "He is in power because he himself is the strongest, has the strongest mental abilities."

"This coming from the person in closest proximity of Khivar who also happens to be the person to underestimate him most," Aunkana replies shortly. "I'm not saying it is going to be easy; I'm saying that it is to our advantage if this doesn't turn from a civil war into an intergalactic war with Khivar being as highly influential as he is and possessing far greater capabilities in relation to us with the involvement of his allies. This needs to be one quick, sure, fatal blow because if Khivar starts to mobilize his forces on us and rally his support, we don't stand a chance. If we take Khivar down quickly and knock out the Alliance, it is most unlikely that the regime change will receive any form of protest, and Max will ascend to the throne in warm welcome."

"We are sorely lacking the needed resources for this rebellion. Max will be no match for Khivar's mental strength," I tell her. "He won't last ten seconds against Khivar, and you know it."

"It's so lovely of you to be so optimistic," Aunkana responds, scowling at me. "Max isn't planning on going in this alone. They will attack with the power of the four square."

"That's a very nice, optimistic idea. Should I tell Khivar that he should wait to attack Max when he's got all of his little friends gathered around to back him up? I'm sure that I could persuade him to give up any strategic intentions of picking them off one by one like he did last time," I state dryly. "Even if they did have the power of the four square, which is highly unlikely given that this surprise attack is bound to be absolute chaos, Max would still be hard pressed to beat Khivar. I've been in that man's mind. There are hoards of mental energy just waiting to be released."

"Funny, I thought you were beginning to align yourself on our side. Maybe I am mistaking your lust for Max with loyalty," She sneers.

"What happens between me and Max is none of your business!" I declare defensively.

"It is everyone's business because it affects us all. Or have you actually so ignorantly failed to see how intricately your destinies are entwined? And here I thought the naivety was all an act," Aunkana snaps. "You don't seem to realize how the future of Antar lies in your hands."

"I am more than aware! Every morning I wake up and I feel the weight of not only this planet, but my own as well, resting heavily on my shoulders. This is a burden I never asked for. I wasn't born into this life like you were, like Max was. I am not royalty of any kind. This is a fight between kings and queens, monarchs, emperors, rulers. This fight has nothing to do with me. This is not my destiny! I did not choose this life!" I proclaim.

"This is your destiny and the sooner you realize it, the sooner we can all get down to business. Some may argue that when you decided to be a part of Max's life, knowing who he was, that you made some semblance of a choice tying all of this. But it doesn't really matter if you asked for this, if you chose this life. Destiny chooses who it will for whatever purposes it has, unbeknownst to us. You are mistaken to think that either Max or I had a choice. We were set into a position to make a positive difference in the lives of millions by the hands of fate. Instead of choice, we have only a responsibility, as do you," Aunkana points out.

I don't really have a quick comeback for her. In my silence, she chooses to continue.

"Sometimes there are things in life that are greater than our own mortal ambitions. Sometimes we have to make devastating sacrifices for the greater good. We all know; we have all seen the sacrifices that you have made, Liz. Do not think that they have gone unnoticed," She says softly.

I dare to look over at her. Her eyes meet mine in a thoughtful gaze.

"You could be a great asset to Max or you could be his greatest weakness. You know the power you possess. He loves you so much in a way that is humbling to us all. I don't know if you want to be with him or not, when this is all over, but don't confuse the future of your relationship with Max with the future of Antar," Aunkana advises. "They are not necessarily the same."

"I know that," I state quietly, my honesty about to come through. "I don't know if I plan on staying here on Antar when this is all over, but I intend on seeing Max through to the end. Do not question my loyalty. Max has saved my life countless times. You talk of sacrifice, and I'm sure you are well aware, as am I, of what Max has sacrificed for me. I am resentful at times, and I certainly am bitter, but I will not abandon Max. I can't. I have to do this. Not just for Max, but for Eagan."

"Well if you are with us, then how do you suggest that we might be able to overcome Khivar?" She asks earnestly.

"That is a question that I am terribly unsure of the answer to. I believe that the power Max needs to succeed lies in ample reserve untapped within the Anima. How to get to that power, though, is the question that really needs to be answer. My own personal theory is rather unorthodox…" I trail off.

"You think that it is possible to physically enter inside," Aunkana surmises from my earlier encounter with the Anima.

"Yes, I do," I affirm.

"No offense, but if you believed that the rightful royalty could enter the Anima and gain all the power of past generations, what the hell did you think you were doing?" She questions.

"I have no idea," I admit. "I envisioned things in surface of the Anima, and I felt it pulling at me, pulling me to it. I didn't know at the time that it was so deadly."

"In ancient Antarian writing is says around the base of the fountain 'Enter all who are worthy and sincerely seek the knowledge of their fathers, but beware all those unworthy who enter in shall perish,'" Aunkana says.

"Well that would have been quite helpful if I read ancient Antarian," I reply.

"You have been on this planet for a long time. You still don't know Antarian?" She looks at me in shock.

Well I can't say that I have been busy as an excuse.

"Everyone speaks English to me. They have all acquired the language because they have plans to take over Earth for the use of its resources," I explain.

"Well you plan to take over Antar, and yet you have not followed their example and learned to speak the language. It would be more useful to you than you would think if you assimilated the Antarian language," Aunkana insists.

"I get by," I tell her.

"Getting by isn't enough anymore," She states.

Aunkana needs to get off my case. She has done nothing but disagree with me, lecture me, and spotlight my weaknesses since she got on this aircraft. Though, she does make some important points.

"The computer readings say that we're there," I say abruptly, cutting the conversation short.

I check the latitude and the longitude of the crash again against the computer reading to be sure that I am not mistaken.

"But I don't see any wreckage," I continue, slightly concerned as I look out over the ship's helm into the bleak, empty abyss of the desert.


TBC.........................



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Hey, I just wanted to say that I have an good idea of how the next part is going to go and have written part of it and I have pretty much finish the part that comes after it. And the part after the part after the next part, if that makes sense, I've been working on too. And I will boldly say one of the mentioned upcoming parts currently under construction has some serious nookie scenes....