Roswell Fanatics

Chapter 10

Isabel

It’s my baby’s eighth birthday today and I couldn’t be happier. With everything going on with Liz I just don't want anything to interfere with his day. Alex and I have been so blessed with him even though we may have not seen it that way before he was born. However, the day Damian Joseph Whitman graced the world with his presence he has been nothing but a blessing and reminder of the love Alex and I have for one another.

I won’t sugar coat it in anyway, it was really hard in the beginning but we had both his parents and mine to help. Without them I know we wouldn’t have made it. Times were tough because we were only eighteen when he was conceived and we were both in college and living at home.

So when I found out I was pregnant, we told both our parents at the same time. To say that either set of parents were happy over the information that their teenagers were going to be parents along with the facct that we had no plans of getting married. However my parents quickly changed their mind frame when they saw that Alex and I were serious in that we would raise our baby alone if we had to.

Alex’s parents on the other hand were quick to point fingers, saying I purposely got pregnant because I realized Alex’s potential to succeed in life, and that I was trying to hang onto him anyway I could. After several arguments back and forth in addition to Alex’s ultimatum to his parents, that if they didn’t accept our baby or myself that they would never get to see him or the baby.

The ultimatum didn’t work at first but shortly Alex moved out and into my parent’s house. He ended up taking Max’s old bedroom since Max had moved right after high school to California to attend college.

By the time I was six months, his parents came around and decided that no matter what they say or do, Alex was sticking beside me. They gave me their sincerest apologies and I accepted. After all, if I were in their position I wouldn’t welcome the situation with open arms either.

Alex didn’t move back home though, he didn’t want to miss a moment of the pregnancy. He helped me through it; Lord knows I was terrified when I went into labor. I had an over abundance of support, from my parents, his parents, Max, Michael, Maria, and Liz.

I am very saddened by the fact that she can’t be here today. Even though when it came to Max and her I didn’t agree and definitely didn’t repress my anger towards her, I never held that fact against her. She loves my son and treats him as if he is the most precious thing, she would even baby sit for Alex and I so we could go out as a normal couple once in awhile.

She has an amazing heart, it’s just a shame that it took me all these years to come to that conclusion. I honestly don’t know if she was in love with Max or not. I do know that she had to care about him more than anyone probably ever could. When they were together, even though they were just friends, they were inseparable. Even while she dated Jordan off and on, Max was always there, she would split her time with Jordan in a day just to be there for Max.

I know Max loved that girl more than he ever thought he could love anyone else. I know that kind of love, that’s how I feel about Alex and Damian.

I look over to Damian who is standing at one end of the table we have set up with his cake lit up. His friends were all gathered around the table and Alex by his side.

“Isabel come on!” That’s Alex yelling for me to take pictures.

“Okay Alex I’m coming.” That’s my cue, I have to make sure I take at least two rolls of film of him blowing out his candles.

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Alex

Although I couldn’t be happier today there is still this dark cloud that sits above all of our heads. I know that my son is hurting because, as he would put it, "his most favorite aunt", isn’t here to share this day. She has never missed a birthday in all of his eight years, no matter what she was doing or where she was, she would always be here.

It broke my heart this morning when my son turned his teary eyes to me and said, “Dad, I know that you said aunt Lizzie is sick and she can’t be here but I always see her on my birthday. So, do think maybe we can change my birthday until aunt Lizzie is better, then she can be here? I don’t want her to be sad because she missed it.”

I tried hard to keep my composure when he asked me that but I didn’t want him feeling bad about celebrating his birthday, so I told him, “Even though your aunt Liz can’t be here, she would want you to celebrate your birthday and have fun doing it. I personally think that it would make her sadder if you missed your birthday. So, how about we celebrate now and I will take you to see her tomorrow morning? How does that sound?”

He liked that idea a lot, I’m sure that’s the only reason why he appears to be enjoying himself right now. He’s about to blow out his candles and I can take a pretty good guess what his wish is for. The excitement that shows on his face reminds me so much of Isabel. His big light brown eyes, his full lips and big smile. Unfortunately, he inherited my ears but at least he has my dark hair, which I’m quite happy about.

I look over to Isabel, I love her so much that words cannot even express it. We have been through so much, most people would have given up when things got tough but not Isabel, she is relentless and stubborn as hell. First with being pregnant at eighteen then having to quit school, her dream of being a teacher was pushed to the side. She’s not spiteful about it though.

She has not given up on her dream, she says, “It’s on the back burner but I will light a fire under it as soon as I can.” I know she will and as far as her stubbornness, well her parents are pretty well off, but taking me in as a teenager and helping us with Damian did put a strain on them financially. So when my parents offered to get us an apartment and pay the rent until we got on our feet, Isabel refused.

She quit school when she was pregnant and worked full time until it was time for the baby to be born. As far as myself, I did the exact same thing except I worked two jobs, to help save for the babies needs. I don’t regret a moment of it either, it was a very humbling experience. I learned to put my family’s needs before my own and prior to that I don’t think I would have been capable of it.

Now, last year Max offered to pay for both of our college tuitions since he was, as Michael likes to put so bluntly, “rolling in the dough.” Isabel refused once again. Which I already knew. She liked to be as independent as possible or as much as she could in our situation.

However, when her parents told her that because we have been working to support ourselves and Damian they had saved up money for the both of us to attend full time. She reconsidered it because at that point getting help from your parents was more acceptable to her than from her own twin brother. I know, makes no sense but that’s Isabel for you.

So, we discussed it and took them up on the offer, although I found out a few months later from Max that it was indeed him that was paying for the tuitions and asked that I not tell Isabel until she graduated. He wanted to give that to the both of us, not only because he could afford to but also because he really wanted to. At first I myself was taken aback at that development and was about to refuse.

What Max had told me, though, was enough for me to accept his offer without another word. He told me to look at his offer as security for his nephew. With an education we would be able to support him the best way possible on our own. In addition to the fact that I felt a little guilty that she gave up her dream to be with me and raise our baby. I couldn’t deny her happiness over money, so I graciously accepted the offer and kept my word not to tell Isabel until she graduates.

I am so thankful to have been blessed with such a great family and even more amazing friends. However, I plan on making my family legal shortly that’s for sure. I think she has waited long enough for the question. I don’t plan on disappointing her either.

Before I can do that though, I need to know what exactly she’s keeping from me. It’s not like her to keep secrets from me; I guess that’s why I picked up on it so quick.

About three months ago she started to act very suspicious, she would not be in bed in the middle of the night. At first I thought she couldn’t sleep but when I would look for her in the house, I couldn’t find her sometimes and when I did she would say she was in the bathroom or something. Which I knew was a lie because I would check the bathroom first. I am wondering what it is she’s keeping from me, most importantly why she feels she all of a sudden needs to lie to me about it. With everything going on, planning the party, and then Liz I didn’t want to confront her, but it has been long enough. It’s time to find out what Isabel is hiding.

***********************************

Max

I look over to my nephew as he blows out his candles, he closes his eyes so tightly making his wish. I already know what he’s wishing for, same thing as me. I know because he loves Liz. She is his, favorite aunt, as he likes to state that to the world.

No one gets jealous because they know it’s true. Liz would shower him with so much love, love that she couldn’t - or rather - wouldn’t give me. I was always jealous of that, not because I didn’t think Damian deserved it, but just because I wished that I would be on the receiving end of it if only just once. I don’t know what it’s like to be loved by Liz, I thought I did but I was just foolish now that I look back. I mistook friendship for love and I paid the ultimate price…My heart.

I turn my attention to Dariana who is currently standing near the cake table helping my mom serve. What she said to me just keeps nagging me; she cares about me and she thinks I’m capable of loving again. I don’t know about the loving again but I do care about her. I would have to in some way wouldn’t I? No, I just haven’t let myself contemplate that fact, when it would start to surface I would push it back down along with all my emotions. Maybe its time I stop running from the past and accept it for what it is…The past. I can’t erase or change it but I can try to live again no matter how hard it might be.

She notices me looking in her direction and she smiles at me. I smile back and she turns her attention back to my mom.

God, I really need to talk to Michael. I’m sure after this afternoon he’s going to need to talk to me, because I see Maria making her way over to Michael and Angela now. This cannot be a good thing. I start to make my way towards them when a tap on my arm stops my movements. I look down and see Damian tugging on my arm, “Uncle Max!”

I lean down and scoop him up in my arms, “Hey there big guy, are you enjoying your party?”

“Yes, but I’m sad too.” I know why he’s sad and I don’t know if I’m the most qualified person to discuss this with him but seeing as he came to me, I can’t let him down.

“Sad, why are you not having fun?” I try to direct his attention elsewhere, he’s not having it though. He’s definitely Isabel’s son, he inherited her stubbornness.

“No, I’m having fun but I miss Aunt Lizzie. Daddy says that he will take me to see her tomorrow at the hospital but…” He stops and looks over my shoulder at his father and mother.

“But what, Damian? What’s wrong? Do you not want to see her? Because if you don’t it’s…” He halts my words.

“No! I want to see Aunt Lizzie, but I don’t wanna go with daddy. I wanna…I wanna go with you Uncle Max. Will you take me?” I really don’t know how to answer him, I can never deny him anything but this one is not my call.

“Damian, I would love to take you but it’s up to your mom and dad. So, I will talk to them later and if it’s okay with them, I will take you, okay?” He seems upset about it but he nods his head in agreement.

“Uncle Max, do you miss Aunt Lizzie?” Boy, kids definitely don’t miss a beat do they? They cut right to the chase with their questions.

“Yes, Damian, I miss her.” I say sorrowfully.

“Do you think she misses me?” He asks me innocently. I look into his eyes and tell him what I know is the truth.

“I know for a fact she misses you so much and that she wanted to be here, but even though she can’t be here I know she’s thinking about you; do you know why?” His eyes were down cast until I asked that question.

“Why?”

“Because I know without a doubt she loves you so very much. I know she can’t wait to get better just to see you.” I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. This pains me more than I ever thought it would. The love he carries inside for Liz is the same I that carried for her what seems so long ago, when in reality I still do. I’ve just learned to ignore it.

“Yeah, I love her too, so much.” He leans into me again and wraps his small arms around my neck. I ache inside for him, the confusion he feels and the sadness he now carries around inside.

“I know you do. Hey, how about we go see what your Aunt Maria is up to, then you can show her your new toys?”

“Okay.” He slides back to the ground and runs over to Maria’s side, and just in time by the look on Michael’s face.

TBC…Wednesday

Chapter 11


Michael

Well the party is almost over, so far so good, I have avoided a conversation with Maria. Angela is currently caught up in a conversation next to me with Alex’s mom about real estate. I don’t find it fascinating in anyway but Angela enjoys it and it makes her happy so I’m happy for her.

Oh no! I guess I spoke to soon because Maria looks like she’s headed over here. This will not be good. I search around looking for an escape; I turn to see Max, he’s caught up in his thoughts so there will be no salvation for me this time.

“Hi, Michael.”

“Maria, how’s it going?” What are you supposed to say to your ex-girlfriend who dumped your ass and moved to New York the week after you proposed.

“It’s going, you know just really busy with the tour and everything.” This is so awkward.

“Yeah, well, that’s good, it’s always good to be busy right?” Okay, how many times am I going to use the word good in a sentence?

“Michael, I just wanted to say congratulations and I wish you both the best of luck with everything.” Why is she telling me this? Does she think I care if she wished me luck or not? I hope not because I’m so over her.

“Yeah, well, thanks.” I guess Angela caught wind of my tone towards Maria and has now turned her attention onto us.

“Michael, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, babe, it’s fine. Maria was just wishing us luck with the wedding and everything.” I try to remove any trace of resentment towards Maria from my voice. I don’t want Angela getting suspicious and asking questions. She knows about Maria I just don’t want her to doubt my feelings for her.

“Oh, well, thank you, Maria.”

“You’re welcome.” We stand there for the next minute or so in a very uncomfortable silence until, I hear Damian call Maria’s name.

“Aunt Maria, do you want to come look at all my presents in the house?” I turn to look at the direction from which he came and I see Max giving me an all-knowing look. I throw Max a thanks for saving my ass look and he smiles knowingly back at me. What would I do without him? Probably stand here like a moron trying to come up with something clever to talk about, either that or wait until Maria walked away.

***********************************
Maria

What the hell possessed me to walk over here? What excuse am I going to use for talking to Michael?

“Hi, Michael.” Okay maybe this isn’t so bad.

“Maria, how’s it going?” I wonder does he really care? Does he think about me anymore or have I become nothing but the past he tries to forget? Oh! He’s waiting for an answer.

“It’s going, you know just really busy with the tour and everything.” Okay, that sounded so stupid. I know why, because I am stupid, I should have never come over here.

“Yeah, well, that’s good, it’s always good to be busy right?” He has used the word good twice in one sentence, he’s definitely tense, he always does that when he is. Now I know I made a mistake coming over here, I’m probably just upsetting him or something.

I try to change the subject, “Michael, I just wanted to say congratulations and I wish you both the best of luck with everything.” Oh God! Why did I just say that? I don’t wish him luck that’s a fucking lie. What I really want to tell him is to leave her and take me back. I would just be kidding myself by doing so though.

“Yeah, well, thanks.” I need to get the hell out of here, he is not happy with me being here and now his fiancé has joined the conversation. Great, just what I wanted to do, have a conversation with my ex and his fiancé, such a great idea Maria. You know if Liz were here this would have never happened. She would have talked me out of it.

Luckily, after a few seconds of conversation and a few minutes of the most uncomfortable silence I have ever been a part of, Damian comes running over to us. I quickly look at Michael and follow his gaze towards Max. He just gave Max the thanks for saving my ass look. I internally thank Max as well for the reprieve.

***********************************

Max

Everyone is heading home but before I head out I need to talk to Alex and Isabel about Damian’s request to see Liz.

I enter the house and find Isabel loading the dishwasher.

“Hey Iz, need some help with that?”

“Oh, yeah, Max that would be great. Could you pass me those plates on the table?” I walk over to the kitchen table and had them over to Isabel.

“What’s wrong, Max? You look like you have a question.” She knows me too well, I guess a draw back for being twins.

“Well, I was talking with Damian during the party and he asked me something and I need to discuss it with both you and Alex today.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Oh yeah, Izzy I just need to ask you guys something and I would like to do it before I leave so I can tell him tonight.”

“Alright, Max, as soon as I’m done here I’ll go get Alex, I think he’s upstairs right now and we’ll talk.”

“Thanks, Isabel.” I turn to head into the living room to wait. I also need to tell Dariana to head back to the hotel, which I know she’s going to fight me about but I need to talk to Isabel, Alex, Damian and, of course, Michael later as well.

“Max?” I turn back to face Isabel.

“Yeah?”

“If you need to talk I’m here for you.” I love her so much, she is a great sister and friend.

“Thanks Iz, but I’m okay for now. I’ll let you know if I change my mind though.”

“Okay. Well, I’m just about done so give me a few minutes.”

“Sure. I’m just going to see Dariana out now.” I leave the kitchen in search of Dariana.

I find her in the living room with my parents.

“Dari, why don’t you head back to the hotel, I’ll be there in about an hour or so.” She stands up and walks up to me.

“Max it’s okay I’ll just wait.” See, what did I tell you? This time, however, I’m not going to argue with her, I’ll just tell her what I need to do.

“Dari, thanks but I need to talk to Isabel and Alex and then I need to go find Michael and talk to him for a few minutes, then I will head back to the hotel, okay?” I hope she doesn’t fight me.

“Okay Max, I just thought I would wait but you have some things to take care of so I’ll just go now. Do you want me to wait up?” Now my usual answer is no. However I shock not only her by myself as well with my answer this time.

“Yes, because I think we need to talk as well.” Her eyes light up and she leans in so I can kiss her lips she then whispers in my ear, thank you. She leaves shortly after saying goodnight to everyone.

“Max?”

“Yeah dad?”

“How you holding up son?”

“I’m okay dad, just trying to sort through everything.”

“When are you heading back home?” Good question. I don’t know if I can leave Liz here and just go to work and concentrate.

“I don’t know, I planned on being here until the end of the week but I just don’t know what to do right now.”

“I know Max, but you can’t stay here forever and you know that if something changes with her condition we will call you right away.”

“Yes, I know but I just feel like I want to be here when she wakes up.” I know it’s wishful thinking but I have to believe that she will wake up. I want to be here for that, I need to make sure she’s really okay and then I need some questions answered.

“Do you think that’s such a good idea, Max?” That’s my mom now.

“I don’t know, I don’t know anything anymore but I just can’t make a quick decision I need time to think about it. I do know that if she does wake up she can’t stay in Roswell.” What? Where the hell did that thought come from? I was not going to say that.

“What are you talking about Max? She lives here where else is she going to go?”

“I don’t know dad, but she is not safe from Jordan. He’s still out there how do I know he’s not waiting for an opportunity to finish the job?” I won’t let her be subjected to that fear not since I now know what’s going on.

“Max, the police have already told you they have a warrant to bring him in for questioning since Liz is the only person that knows who did this to her. Not that I have any doubt it was him, no one else would want to harm Liz like that.”

“I know that dad but I don’t feel satisfied with him still out there on the loose, hell the only reason why I’m not camped out at the hospital is because she’s on a secure floor and a nurse is with her twenty four hours!” It’s true, I made sure of that the very next day I left the hospital otherwise I would be by her side; if not me someone would be right now.

“I mean dad, mom, how could he kill his own child?! How do you beat on someone so badly to begin with but knowing she’s carrying your child, he’s a manic and I don’t trust him and I wouldn’t put anything past him at this point!”

Just then Isabel and Alex enter the room and interrupt the conversation. It was getting a little intense for me. The rage and anger began to bubble at the surface once again and I needed to calm down before I exploded. Just thinking about the whole situation gets me going. I need to control it or I will irrupt.

“Ah Max, you wanted to talk to Isabel and I?”

“Yeah, Alex I did.”

“Oh, well, your father and I are headed to bed sweetheart. We’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yes, I’ll be by tomorrow morning probably, since Dariana will be leaving on the afternoon flight tomorrow. Goodnight guys.”

“Night, Max.” They both say before retreating upstairs to their room. I turn my attention to Alex and Isabel who are now seated on the couch across from me.

“I just needed to ask you guys a question, something Damian asked me and I told him I needed to speak with the both of you first before I give him the answer.”

“Go ahead, Max we’re listening.” Alex says while leaning back against the couch. Why do I suspect he already knows my question?

“Well, he asked me about Liz today, he was upset that she couldn’t be here to share his birthday with. Anyway he said that you were going to take him to see her tomorrow.” They nod at me. I clear my throat and continue.

“So, he told me that he would like it if I took him to see her instead of you guys.” I look away, not really wanting to see their reactions, I mean I don’t want them to be hurt that their son doesn’t want them there.

“Sure thing Max, that’s fine with Isabel and I.” I look up at them in confusion. Now I know they knew what I was going to ask.

“How did you know what I was going to ask?”

“That’s easy Max, you, Damian and Liz used to spend so much time together while he was growing up, even though you don’t live here you were up here every other weekend, with the exception of this past year. He feels more comfortable sharing that time with you. He feels it’s the right thing to do and so do we.” They are really amazing parents, Damian is lucky as hell.

“Thanks. I’m just going to run upstairs and let him know.” I rise from the couch and head to the stairs.

“No problem, Max.” This comes from Alex.

On my way up the stairs I catch Michael and Angela heading towards the living room.

“Michael.”

“Oh, hey, Maxwell, I’m just going to head back to the hotel with Angela, whenever your ready just give me a call and I’ll meet you in the lobby okay?”

“Yeah that would be great. Goodnight, Angela.”

“Night, Max.” I continue up the stairs towards my old bedroom, which is now Damian’s room to deliver some good news to him.


TBC…

Chapter 12

Max

I reach Damian’s bedroom door and I can see him playing on the floor with a new airplan he got this afternoon. I stop to admire him for just a moment with his unruly chestnut colored hair, fair skin and big bright eyes. He is a perfect mix of Isabel and Alex.

“Hey big guy what are you doing?”

“Hey Uncle Max, I was waiting for you.” Yeah I know he was, the kid looks beat but he was pushing himself to stay awake for my answer.

“I know you were and I won’t make you wait any longer either.”

“No?”

“Nope, I talked to your mom and dad and they said it would be okay for me to take you to see Aunt Liz tomorrow.” His whole face lights up as he drops the truck and runs over to me. I bend down and pick him up.

“Oh, thank you Uncle Max.” He wraps his arms around me as best as possible and kisses my cheek.

“I love you, you know that right?”

“Yes, I know and I love you too, Uncle Max.”

“Good. Now I think it’s time for bed, you have a big day tomorrow and we have to go see Aunt Liz early tomorrow okay?”

“Yes. I’m just going to go downstairs and say goodnight to mom and dad.” I smile at him.

“Go and do that I’ll wait here for you to get back before I leave.”

“Okay.”

After Damian leaves the room I take a look around, its looks different but the same. I was never Damian’s age when I lived here so my first memories were high school. He has posters of Superman and Spiderman, bookshelves filled with all kinds of books he loves to read. I know Liz loved to read to him as much as she could. And to top it all off he has one entire wall devoted to his airplane collection. He absolutely loves airplanes.

If I really listen I can hear the echoes from my memories left in this room. I can still picture the way it looked, smelled, and felt growing up here. The room was much simpler back then, I had a few posters hanging up of movies I liked, musicians or just some TV shows. I loved this room and everything that it held. It’s where everything began between Liz and I.

My mind is bombarded with memories, so many memories, but the funny thing is most of my memories in this room were of Liz and the times we shared. I remember the first time things between us changed for me. It was the summer of our junior year, right before she started dating Jordan. I can’t stop thinking about it right now even if I tried.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Max, how come you don’t date anyone?” We are laying across my bed side by side on our backs.

“Because I’m not interested in anyone, Liz.”

“You mean to tell me with all the girls that just line up to stand around you, not one has caught your eye?” I want to tell her no, because my heart already belongs to her. I can’t do that though she’s my best friend and I shouldn’t feel that way about her.

“No Liz, not one of them has "caught my eye" as you like to put it.”

“Why? You’re not gay are you, Max?”

“Very funny, Liz, you know damn well I’m not gay.” I lift up on one elbow and lean over her, so I can see if she is being serious or just fucking with me.

“Do I?” She says teasingly, I know she’s joking with me.

“Well Liz, I don’t know maybe you’ll just need to find out for yourself?” Okay I am flirting way too much now. I’ll probably scare her away. I lay back down onto my back and close my eyes, I am playing with fire.

I need to get some control over my thoughts right now. What I want to do is rollover on top of her and show her I’m not gay. I feel the bed shift and I open one eye. She is leaning directly over me, and I can feel the warm puffs of air on my cheek. She is so beautiful, and I tell her.

“No I’m not, Max, stop joking around already and stop changing the subject.” I don’t know why she doesn’t see herself the way I see her. She would definitely run in the opposite direction if she only knew how I see her. I close my eyes once again and continue my conversation.

“First of all I’m not changing the subject, this is all relevant.”

“How so?”

“Well, if I was gay I wouldn’t think you were beautiful now would I?” Let’s see if she falls for this, because I was changing the subject.

“Yes.” Damn! “Now Max, you changed the subject, so now I’m going back to it.”

“Fine, but I am being honest Liz, I think you are so beautiful, and I’m not just saying that either. You know me better than that.” I can feel her hair on my arm and it’s like an electric shock throughout my body; it causes my heart to start racing, just being near her now is too much, I am fighting a strong impulse to pull her down and kiss her.

She’s silent after that and I decide to take another peak after I feel another shift on the bed. I begin to slowly open my eyes and I see her. She’s looking right into my eyes as she bites her bottom lip, sexy as hell, and does the most unexpected thing.

She closes her eyes, leans in, and places a feather light kiss on my lips. I think I have just died and gone to heaven. Liz is kissing me. I can’t believe it but as soon as her lips leave mine, I quickly open my eyes to see her.

She looks confused so I quickly raise one of my arms and wrap it around her waist and pull her back down on top of me. I look at her with an intense glare that tells her I wanted that as much as she did.

“Max…” I cut her off and press my lips against hers, she responds with a small moan. I have to smile, I’ve dreamt of doing this from the moment I first saw her. I can feel when she gives in to the kiss and I take the opportunity to trace her lips with my tongue asking for permission to take the kiss further.

Granting my wish, she opens her mouth for me and I slide my tongue into her warm mouth as I drag my lips across hers back and forth, up and down. I never want this moment to end. Our lower bodies are responding as well and to my surprise she starts to press her hips into mine. I quickly respond and thrust mine into hers as well.

I run my hands up the back of her shirt and she brings one of her hands to run it through my hair. A strangled moan escapes the back of my throat and I quickly roll us over so that I’m laying on top of her now. I break the kiss for some much needed air and pause to open my eyes to look at her. Her lips are moist and swollen and I can feel her rapid breathing and heartbeat against my chest. I don’t want it to end so I slowly descend upon her and kiss her once again, except this time I want to explore her better.

I raise my hand and push the hair away from her neck and trail kisses down her chin to the base of her neck and then up to the soft skin of her ear and gently nibble. I can’t get enough of her. She’s running her hands through my hair and arching her body up to every kiss I place on her neck. She moves her hands up the back of my shirt. Her hands are so small, warm and soft but they leave behind in a trail of fire and desire. I can’t help myself - I press my body further into hers; I want to crawl inside of her. Then I feel her slowly lift her head to attack my neck, I feel her hot wet kisses and I am losing control of the situation by the second. I don’t want to stop, I can’t stop.

I tear my lips away from her neck in a breathy pant, she is trailing wet kisses down my neck, and I ask her. “Liz, please, can I…oh God…can I touch you?” She is assaulting my neck, nipping and kissing it.

“Yes, Max.” She says in a breathy moan. That was all it took. I slowly trail my hand down her side of her body, and then back up to cup her soft breast. I have never done this with anyone but the feeling is out of this world that’s the only way to describe it.

I slowly move my lips down the base of her neck and pull away from her momentarily to remove her shirt, and she takes this opportunity to remove mine as well.

Our bodies are now pressed together once again. The only thing separating our upper bodies was her bra. I won’t remove it unless she wants me to, but God how I want to! I want to feel, see and touch every part of her body. I continue my assault on her neck and slowly descend to the top of her breast and slide my hand down the side of her body to grab hold of her slim hip and grind my hips harder against hers.

Our breathing is erratic and I want her so bad right now, if she doesn’t stop I know I won’t. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not but I really don’t care. All I care about is the feeling of her beneath me, whimpering, moaning and grinding her tiny body into mine. I just want to feel her…I need to feel her.

So building up my courage up, I gently lift my hips from hers and I lift her bra exposing herself to me; she's even more beautiful then I even imagined. I attach my lips to one of her breasts, gently kissing and sucking. Then I slide my other hand down between us and dip my hand into her jeans. I hesitate for just a second but when I feel her thrust into my hand I know she’s okay with it.

I reach the rim of her panties and I slowly slide my hand into them. I have lost all thought; I am caught up in the feel of her and I cannot get enough. When I reach the part of her that makes us so different, I can feel her heat and wetness. I can’t believe this is happening, I feel like this is a dream and God if it is, please don’t ever let me wake up!

She is moaning lowly and I know she’s so turned on right now and I know she can feel how turned on I am. I slowly slide my fingers to rub her sensitive skin and she arches her body into my hand even further. I moan loudly and cover my lips with hers I am going to explode soon if I don’t have her.

“Max…oh God…Max…please don’t stop.” She pants heavily to me.

“I won’t stop, I want to feel you come apart in my arms, Liz.” I continue kissing, her sliding my tongue in and out of her wet mouth mimicking the way I want to join my body with hers.

I slide a finger into her body as she slides her tongue roughly into my mouth, a loud moan escaping from the back of her throat. I can feel she is so close but she’s holding back.

I tear my lips away from hers and tell her what I want.

“Liz, I want you to let go, I want to feel you let go.” That was all it took, her body shuddered and she threw her head back in release.

“Are you okay?” I ask her removing my hand from her jeans and placing soft kisses on her nose and forehead.

“Yeah, I’m more than okay.” She smiles sheepishly at me.

This is an awkward moment. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do, I know what I need to do and that’s take a cold ass shower. So with great reluctance I roll off of her and she quickly places her bra back in place and then reaches for her shirt.

After we are both fully dressed, I noticed how quiet she was. What if she's mad at me? Maybe she didn’t like it? Did I cross the line?

“Liz, I…I’m sorry.”

“Oh.” She jumps off the bed and leans over to put her sneakers back on. Okay maybe I was wrong.

“Liz stop, don’t go.”

“Why Max, I mean, it was a mistake right? It…It shouldn’t have happened.”

“No Liz, that’s not what I meant at all. I just don’t want you being upset with me.” She quickly snaps her head back to face me with a look of confusion.

“Upset? Why would I be upset with you, Max?”

“Because if I crossed the line or…or made you do something you didn’t want to do.” She rose from her side of the bed and came to sit beside me, then she lifted her hands to cradle my face.

“Max, I don’t regret what we did, but we can’t do it again. We’re friends Max and I don’t want this to come between us, okay? Just tell me you understand, that’s all I want.” Her pleading look says it all. It wasn’t the same for her as it was for me. To me it was a new beginning for us, for her it was something that just happened and she wants to put it past us, forget it even happened. Since I don’t want this to come between us, I agree.

“Okay, Liz.” I love you, is what I wanted to say, but I didn’t.

“Thank you, Max.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian’s voice breaks me out of my thoughts.

“Okay Uncle Max, I’m gonna go to bed now, so I’ll see you in the morning right?”

“Yes, I’ll be here bright and early, so you be ready.”

“I will, night Uncle Max, love you.” He lifts his arms and wraps them around my waist, and I lean over and place a kiss on top of his head.

“Night, big guy, I love you too. Sweet dreams.” I tuck him into bed and quietly walk out of the room leaving the door ajar behind me.

I have a long night ahead of me, I just hope that by the end of it, I’ll be able to get some rest.

TBC…ON SATURDAY THANKS FOR READING!

Chapter 13

Max

After I leave my parents' house I head back to the hotel to meet with Michael. He and I have needed to talk to one another for a while. However, with everything going on with Liz, Dariana, and Maria there hasn’t been anytime.

I pull up to the hotel parking lot and call Michael’s room from my cell phone and tell him to meet me outside. I'm waiting for him as I sit in the back of the rental truck when see him approach.

“Hey, Maxwell, what’s going on man?”

“Hey, Michael, I just really needed to talk because I don’t think I’m handling this Liz situation very well. I feel like I’m headed for a breakdown soon and I’m not in control of my life anymore.”

“Well, what’s going besides the obvious?” He asks while taking a seat next to me.

“No, first I want to see how you’re holding up...You know, with Maria and everything.”

“Ah, Max that’s in the past, I’m okay now. I mean seeing her again is always hard on me but I have Angela and I’m happy with her. So, I’m good man.”

“Michael, don’t bullshit me, I know you too well. Don’t lie to me. I know you say to me that you’re past that shit but I just don’t want to you falling back in that dark hole you were in.”

“I know you don’t, Max; hell I don’t want to be back where I was three years ago, that was a scary place.”

“Yes it was and I want to make sure that if you need me that you know I’m there for you no matter what.”

“Yeah I know you are. I won’t lie to you just seeing her bothers me, it’s like when we’re back home I can live my life and not think about her once…Not once. Then, I see her and all the pain and anger just floods back like a tidal wave and I feel almost paralyzed for a moment, do you know what I mean?” Do I ever.

“Trust me I have first hand experience in feeling paralyzed by emotions. That’s what it’s been like since I went to see Liz.”

“About that Max, I just want you to know that I haven’t gone to see her since that first day…It’s too hard. I honestly give you a lot of credit to look at her so…broken. God, I just don’t understand what happened. Regardless of everything that happened between the two of you I still care about her. I mean she was one of the key factors in helping pull me from my depression.” I can’t even explain what it was like seeing your brother just fall apart barely surviving, that’s what he did for the greater part of a year; he barely survived without Maria. Liz was definitely the one who helped him see things clearly and to understand why it happened. He may have not wanted to hear it but Liz has a way of explaining things so that you just…get it; no further explanation is needed.

“I know Michael, and I will tell you honestly I was hurt when I found out from the nurse that no one has visited her since the first day. It’s probably one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in a long time, just seeing her and she can’t speak…I have to watch her day in and day out I just sit there and talk to her. It’s just so frustrating because I don’t know if she can even hear me.”

“Max, I know that you are not past it, it’s still too fresh but how are you holding up with Dariana back as well?” I sigh heavily, Michael knows me too well, he knows that my stress does not just stem from Liz but from Dariana as well.

“That’s we’re things get a little fuzzy and that’s mainly why I needed to talk to you. Dari - I don’t know what to do about her. We’ve been together for seven months and although I felt like it was just sex, I realized today it’s not. I went to the park with her before the party and I told her a little about Liz.”

“What did she say? Because I know she didn’t even know that Liz existed.”

“At first she was not happy but then I explained who Liz was…Well, that’s not true I just told her she was my best friend and what happened to her. We talked about the fact that she sticks with me even though I told her I can’t give her what she’s looking for.”

“What’s that?”

“Love, she wants me to love her but I don’t think I can. That thing with Liz just fucked me up man. I don’t know if I can just put myself out there again, it’s too soon. God, I just can’t make up my mind. I see Liz and everything in me changes. I’m so pissed off at her but I can’t just turn my back on her right now. Then get this, I tell my parents that if Liz wakes up, she can’t stay here in Roswell.”

“Max she lives here where the hell else is she going to go?”

“Michael, your not going to like what I’m about to tell you but I was thinking that she could stay with me.” I wince at his reaction, not that I wasn’t expecting it but still.

“What?! Max are you crazy? Have you even thought about what that means? You will have to see her day in and day out. I have to tell you that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard from you.” He’s right, but what else should I do?

“I know that, Michael, but she’s going to need a nurse and probably some physical therapy, I can provide all that in the safety of my house.” I truly don’t know where these ideas are coming from, I just know that they just feel right.

“Max, you know damn well you can pay for that service for her here, and what does Dariana think about this latest revelation? I can’t imagine she’s happy about it since you don’t even let her spend the night.” Why does Michael have to be logical; he didn’t used to be like this. Being with Angela has definitely changed his attitude towards things. He didn’t normally think things through so thoroughly, however, that has changed. He has become the voice of reason in our friendship.

“No, she cannot stay here Michael, she’s not safe. How do I know he won’t come after her again? How do I know he’s not waiting for the perfect moment when she’s alone to finish what he started? No, I can’t do it, I won’t do it.” I declare stubbornly.

“Max, listen to yourself - you are creating an even bigger problem for yourself, you say your confused and don’t know what to do but then you have all these crazy ideas. You don’t even realize what it means, you’re not looking at the big picture. You say you are trying to get past Liz and what happened, and maybe things between you and Dariana will move forward but I can tell you this, if Liz comes to stay with you it'll be a mistake.”

“I won’t leave her, Michael, even though things between us we’re fucked up I can’t turn my back when I know I can help her. God, Michael, do you know what Maria told me about Liz?”

“No, what?” I know I’m rambling now but Michael will listen to me until I’m all talked out.

“That before I moved to Roswell, she tried to commit suicide…Twice. Twice, Michael, what if she had succeeded? I would have never met her. Shit between us happened but, God, I can’t imagine myself without her in this world. Whether we talk or not just knowing she’s there is comforting enough for me, I can’t regret feeling what I felt for her ever.” I can tell by the look on his face he is surprised by this revelation about Liz. He turns to me with in a very low husky voice says,

“Max, I…I didn’t know that, she’s just always seemed so strong to me. She cut through the bullshit and went straight to the heart of things. I can’t imagine what happened in her life for her to have tried to kill herself.” He’s taking this news badly and I know why. His birth mother killed herself when he was seven that’s when he went to live with his foster father; that didn’t turn out well and my parents adopted him when he was fifteen.

“I’m sorry, Michael I didn’t say that to get you upset but I want you to know the whole story, I need for you to be behind me on this. I know I’m not thinking rationally and, yeah, I could get Liz her own place but I’m not comfortable with that. So even though it’s going to be a hard struggle to live with her it’s something I have to do. Do you understand?” He nods his head and pats me on the back.

“Yes, Maxwell, she needs you…us. I’m going to see her tomorrow I owe it to her, she has no one and I feel like an ass for not going.” He says looking me in the eyes and I can see the pain.

“Michael, I didn’t say it to lay a guilt trip you know that right? I just want you to see the whole picture, I need answers and if I know Liz she will fight me to the bitter end for them but I need them. I have to know what the hell happened and for how long she has been suffering. I mean, even during the time we were still friends she was lying to me, I never gave her a reason to lie, to keep something as important as what was happening to her from me.” It pains me to even think about all the things she has gone through even while I was still around it all boils down to me feeling guilty. That’s why I’m so adamant about doing this completely illogical thing.

“I know, Max, I understand and I’ll be there for you one hundred percent. I will even help run interference with Dariana.” He elbows my side and gives me a knowing smirk.

“Asshole!”

“Ditto.” I have to laugh that’s Michael for you always throwing some comedy into the mix when you’re trying to have a serious conversation. At least he hasn’t lost that part of himself.

“Whatever, look you let me rant and rave about Liz, now let’s get back to the matter at hand…Maria.” He sighs heavily then gets up from his position next to me and begins pacing.

“Do we have to man? I just want to forget about it. I want to get on that plane on Friday and forget her.” I’d love to let the topic drop, but I’ve learned from the past with Michael that if he doesn’t get it out it will slowly catch up to him until he cracks from the pressure.

“Yes, we have to, Michael. How do you feel?” Michael is not good at sharing his feelings at all, like I said he’s very reluctant to show weakness.

“I hate her! I want to hurt her like she hurt me! I want her to suffer and to feel one ounce of pain that she made me feel. When I saw her today and she came up to me to talk, I couldn’t believe it. I was like, what the hell is she thinking, that’s I’m still pining away for her sorry ass? God, the fucking nerve of her and with Angela there! I mean does she think that I want to have a conversation with her?” He continues to pace back and forth across the parking lot. There isn’t much to say to him until he gets it all out his system.

“If she would think about someone else other than herself for just once in her life I would feel a little better! Then she has the nerve to tell you that she knew about Liz getting hit, what the hell is that girl’s problem? I don’t know what I ever saw in her, it was always about her. Everything we ever did was what she wanted, I didn’t even get an opinion, I was so fucking blinded by her lies. How stupid could one person be? I mean, seriously she just disgusts me at this point. I can’t wait to get married!” Okay, I know he’s pissed but he can’t possibly be getting married to get back at Maria…could he?

“Michael, I need to ask you something and I don’t want you getting all pissed off alright?”

“Yeah, sure go head.”

“You’re not with Angela because of Maria are you? I mean you’re not marrying her to hurt Maria? Because you know that it’s -“

“No! I love Angela, Maxwell you know that, I could never do that to her.”

“I know man, it’s just that sometimes we do crazy shit over woman, you know that. I just don’t want anyone to get hurt.” It’s true, if Michael loves Angela then I’m happy for him, but if he doesn’t I’ll still be behind him, I just want him to be happy. He deserves it.

“Thanks, Max, you always look out for me and I appreciate that. I do love Angela and I want to marry her, she makes me happy.”

“Then I’m happy for you. Just know that if you were to change your mind I’ll still be here and won’t judge you.”

“I know but don’t worry your pretty little head… I won’t”

“Ha ha very funny, Mikey.” I elbow him.

“Hey cut the shit, I need to get some rest. S,o you going to talk to Dariana tonight?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow, I don’t envy you right now. Look Max, I can’t tell you what’s right or wrong, I can only tell you to just try and be honest with her and yourself. You deserve to be happy too and it’s okay if it’s not with Liz.”

“Yeah, I know.” I answer knowing that painful truth. I have to start living and learning to be happy again, if it’s not with Liz it needs to be with someone else. So, why not Dariana?

“What time is her flight tomorrow?”

“Two-thirty. I’m taking Damian to the hospital to see Liz tomorrow because he asked me to. He’s taking it really hard, he just doesn’t understand. I know he’s going to have a lot of questions I just hope I can answer them, if not me then Izzy and Alex will hopefully.”

“I can only imagine, he doesn’t even know the half of it. Is Dariana going too?”

“Actually, I didn’t think about her going, I don’t know. I guess I’ll find out tonight what she wants to do.”

“Well, maybe now is time to start sharing those feelings with her, Max. You can’t leave her in the dark especially if you really want to have a go at it with her.”

“Baby steps, Michael, baby steps.”

“Yeah, so get your ass up there to that room and talk to her.”

“I’m going, I’m going.” I get up and walk around the truck to make sure it’s locked and I turn back to Michael.

“Thanks, bro.”

“Anytime, Maxwell.” He smirks at me.

“Night.”

“Night lover, boy.”

“Adios, Mikey.” This is our normal evening conversation, after all is said and done we are still a pair of guys acting like five year olds.

“Watch yourself, Maxie boy.”

“See ya tomorrow.”

“That’s right, I’ll head over first thing in the morning to see Liz. Call me after Dariana’s flight takes off, we’ll meet for dinner or something.”

“Okay, bye.”

I enter the lobby of the hotel and make my way to the elevators to embrace my new destiny.


TBC…ON NEXT POST

Chapter 14

Alex

After everyone left, Isabel and I checked on Damian, he of course was fast asleep. He is so excited to be seeing Liz tomorrow, however, I know he isn't aware of what’s he’s in for. I am glad that Max will be with him, I trust he will handle the situation just fine.

Besides that, I have Isabel to deal with, she has been quiet ever since we walked in on Max and his parents talking about Liz. Now while I know that Isabel is upset over the whole situation she has been distancing herself from me ever since we found out about Liz, which by the way, is totally out of character for her. Normally, she’s more than eager to share her feelings with me, but this time she’s holding something back.

This bothers me more than I’d like to admit. I’ve been with Isabel since she moved to Roswell, we have been through so much together that’s why we made a pact years ago that no matter what we would always be honest and truthful with one another and never keep secrets.

I know Isabel and I know when she’s avoiding a subject, but for the life of me I can’t imagine what it is that should feels she needs to keep from me.

I would think that after breaking the news to me that she was pregnant at nineteen nothing could stand in the way of her telling me something. I beginning to think that I was way too optimistic. That’s not to say that we have a perfect relationship, far from it. I love her and she loves me but I begin to wonder if that’s enough to keep both of us happy.

The daily grind of working, going to school, and taking care of Damian has started to take its toll on the both of us. Isabel is taking extra classes because she wants to finish school as soon as possible and start working as a teacher. While I am just as eager I’m not in a rush, sometimes she acts as if she’s not happy with her life, like she needs something else to fulfill this void that has been left by....what? I have no idea.

Don’t get me wrong, I know she loves me and would do anything for Damian but I want to start a real life with her. I want to marry her and have more children with her. I used to think that’s what she wanted but lately she’s been getting more and more distant. I know that last week bringing up having more children was a bad move but I wanted to know what she wanted and I wanted her to know how I felt about it. That was not well received by her at all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Honey, do you…I mean would you want to have another baby?”

“Alex, what are you talking about? Damian is finally at the age where he doesn’t require us to constantly worry about what he’s doing. We can finally start to focus on school and our careers, why would we have another one, Alex? That’s not something I want right now.”

“Iz, I’m not saying right now, but in the future. Do you want to have more?” I think it’s a valid question, why doesn’t she?

“Yeah, Alex, I guess so, but right now I can’t think that far ahead.” She is avoiding this subject like a plague.

“Why not? I don’t understand how you cannot think about that, it’s either you want more or you don't?” I should have never started this conversation because I can see the crease in her forehead, which means she’s pissed off and I’m going to get an earful for catching an attitude with her.

“I can’t believe you have the nerve to ask me a question like that! God, do you know how hard it was for me to just give everything up. I love Damian and I would die for him but I am not prepared to do that all over again, Alex. I was nineteen, I was terrified, I wasn’t ready to be a mom. Yes, I learned how to become one, but you know I wasn’t cut out for it in the beginning, it was the most terrifying experience holding him for the first time all I could do was cry, I didn’t know what do to with him. He would just cry and cry for no reason, do you know how that made me feel like? Do you!?”

“Yes, Isabel, I know you have told me about a thousand times already.” She really has, I am not exaggerating in the least. Sometimes I think she says it that many times to make me feel guilty.

“Oh really? No, you don’t, Alex, I tell you but you will never understand!Never! You have no idea what it’s like to be a mother to a baby who needs you to take care of him and do things for him. Hell, I couldn’t even take a shower some days or even so much as brush my fucking teeth until someone got home later in the day. So, don’t lay there and tell me that you understand.”

“So, what you’re saying is that you regret it, that you wasted your time having a kid? Is that about it, Isabel?” I say sarcastically to her. The nerve of her ripping into me about what she gave up. My feelings don’t matter to her.

“No! That’s not what I’m saying at all. Don’t put words in my mouth, Alex. Yes, the ideal situation would have been to have a child when I was older, married, but that doesn’t make me regret ever having him. Ever! I can’t believe you just said that to me, you know what I gave up!”

“Yeah, Isabel, your career, your dreams, your fucking fairy tale life, have I covered all the bases of your existence? Sorry I had to throw a fucking wrench in your plans. How dare I have sex with you and purposely impregnate you? Shame on fucking me right Isabel? Because we all know my feelings don’t matter, they never have. I take a back seat to you and what you’re dealing with. What about what I’m dealing with? Huh? Do you ever take one minute to realize what I lost?” I am so enraged right now, she acts like I don’t mean shit to her sometimes. Like she can just dump her bad mood on me and I’ll take it like a good little boy. No more, I have let her get away with it for far too long. I’m tired of getting stepped on and only being listened to when it’s convenient for her.

“Alex, I care about your feelings, you know I do.” She turns a tearful gaze at me.

“No, I don’t Isabel, you don’t give me a chance to share my feelings with you, I have to listen to you rant about things but the second I try to get a word in edge wise you take over or end the conversation abruptly.” I don’t see how she doesn’t know that she does that.

“I’m sorry, Alex, it’s just that when you mentioned having another baby, I just feel like our lives are finally on track, but I didn’t mean to take it out on you.” What did I tell you we never have a complete discussion or even an argument? The second I start attacking her own words she wants to end it nice and clean. I truly hate fighting with her, but I don’t know how long I can hold my feelings in before they come to a head.

“It’s okay, we’ve just had a long day, let’s get some sleep.”

“I love you, Alex.” She leans in and kisses my lips softly.

“Love you too, Izzy.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, now I lay beside her and she’s reading some romance novel, completely enthralled in it. I feel like I’m losing her in her own world. I don’t understand what is going on between us but I guess there’s no time like the present to find out.

“Isabel, what’s going on with you?” She’s laying against the head board, she stops reading, removes her glasses and places the book gently in her lap to address me.

“What do you mean, Alex? Nothing is going on with me.” She says innocently but I can tell there is something going on behind her eyes. Is that panic or agitation? I’m about to find out, though I'm not so sure I’m prepared to find out that answer.

“You have been quiet since we walked in on Max and your parents conversation about Liz. Why? What’s going on? In addition, I know you’re upset about Liz but Isabel, you were not Liz’s biggest fan, you cannot be that distraught about this. So, just tell me.”

“Alex…I…There isn’t anything to tell. I may have not been best friends with Liz or anything but I do have a heart and I am worried about her. Do you think I’m some cold hearted bitch or something that I couldn’t possibly feel anything for her?” She has turned this into an argument, her voice filled with bitterness.

“Well, Isabel, it’s just weird to me that all of a sudden you grew a heart for Liz, not that I’m saying you have no feelings about what happened to her. I just don’t understand why you would have any kind of reaction to what Max was discussing with your parents.”

“What are you talking about, that has nothing to do with how I’m feeling. It’s not even relevant and this conversation is over!” She closes her book, lays in on the nightstand, and proceeds to lean over to turn off her lamp but my words stop her.

“So, why are you getting so defensive, Isabel? If it’s not relevant why do you want to end the conversation when I call you on it? What are you hiding, Isabel?" She jerks her head up at me, so that go her attention.

“Alex, I’m not hiding anything. What would I have to hide anyway? No need for you to answer, nothing - that’s what and even if I did it’s none of your business anyway since you think I’m a cold hearted bitch! I should just live up to my reputation. With that said, I’m going to bed now.” She leans over quickly to turn off her lamp, lays down and turns her back towards me.

Oh, she’s definitely hiding something from me. I just hope I can figure out what it is before someone else does. Because if it has to do with Liz, I can only hope that Max doesn’t find out first. No, that would be really bad for Isabel; I would hate to think she’s keeping a secret from Max. It’s bad enough she’s lying to me, but to lie to Max at this point with everything going on would be a really bad move. One that she won’t be able to easily talk her way out of.

There’s nothing left for us to discuss tonight, I will try again tomorrow and hopefully I can get through to her. I roll over onto my side and try to get some sleep.

***********************************

Isabel

Oh, God! What did I do? Now I’m keeping secrets from Alex. I never do that. I just don’t know what to do. I know I have to tell Max, but he’s not going to forgive me, I know he won’t. He’s stubborn and he’s going to blame me in some way, not to say that I don’t deserve some of the blame. I could have helped the situation, except it seems as though my bad judgment had even worse consequences than just Max finding out.

I was so torn, what would have been the right decision? None of that matters now, everything I was trying to avoid happened anyway. Liz is in the hospital, she lost her baby, and may never wake up. I can’t ever forgive myself for my short comings.

And Alex, God I have been such a bitch to him since he brought up having another baby last week. I just flipped out. I didn’t even think I was that against it until he asked me that question.

Yes, I love Damian. Yes, I want more kids but not right now, hell right now I just want to get through school. I had dreams before I got pregnant, I don’t think I should have to give them up forever just because I had a baby. I feel like I’m twenty-eight going on fifty. I should have graduated college seven years ago but instead I’m just starting, it’s unfathomable to me. I definitely didn’t see myself here ten years ago. I don’t regret a moment of my life, but sometimes like everyone I guess I just wonder, "what if?"

I am lying to Alex, my parents, Max. God, Max, he’s going through so much right now. I know that he’s with Dariana but he will always hold a special, sacred part of his heart for Liz. She did do a number on him emotionally but just him being with her everyday at the hospital says a lot to me. He wishes even after everything that happened between them, to be with her. He won’t let himself though, she could throw herself at his feet and beg for forgiveness and he would say…No. It would kill him but he would do exactly that, he gave her everything and received nothing in return.

I can only imagine what that feels like, to be left wanting in a relationship. I know that when Max fell for Liz while they were still friends was a bad thing, but I seriously believed that she loved him at the very least I know she cared about him. I can’t even begin to try to understand why she couldn’t love Max. He would drop everything and run to her side without a second thought. She was his life, his breath, and his heart. I still believe she is his heart, but the heart is a very complex thing, it allows you to love on different levels.

Max will never love again on the level he did for Liz. He may fall in love again but never will anyone consume his heart to its full capacity as Liz. Hell, he could not only fall in love, but also get married and the only thing that could hold a candle to the love he has for Liz would be his children. That I know from experience.

While I love Alex with all my heart, Damian is my baby and takes precedence over everyone else in my heart. I hate that I make Alex feel like he’s nothing to me, like he says I do. I truly don’t realize that I’m doing it, he has never told me before last week, but I can’t change the way I feel. Sometimes I wonder if Alex and I are made to be in it for the long haul. I feel like a heel for thinking that sometimes, but I have been with him since I was sixteen. That’s a long time, he was my first and only boyfriend. I have to stop myself, I cannot let those thoughts consume my mind for very long.

I need to just focus on trying to get some rest to help build my courage to face Max eventually. I just hope I can do it soon before he finds out on his own.

Not that there is really a chance for that since he has no idea what happened between Liz and I.



TBC...MONDAY...Let me know what you think! Thanks!

Chapter 15

Max

I open the hotel room door to find Dariana, lying on the bed with her eyes closed. I guess I took too long with Michael and she feel asleep. I quietly take of my shoes and I change quickly to lie beside her in bed.

I take just a moment to look at her; I mean really look at her. I don’t think in all the time I’ve been with her I’ve ever really taken an opportunity to do this. She’s sleeping quietly I can hear her breathing very lightly it has a calming effect on me. Yesterday was the first time I’ve ever slept next to her. Now that I think about it, it’s quite absurd. I’ve been with her for seven months, I’ve slept with her several times during the course of these months, but she has never stayed with me. I guess for me that was the final step in accepting this thing we have, as a relationship.

I’ve been hiding from it, denying what we truly are…a couple. As much as I’m terrified to admit it, it’s exactly what we are. I was the only one who didn’t see or realize it for that matter until this moment. No that’s a lie, until I had that conversation with her in the park this afternoon, that’s when I really started to think about us. Wow! I can’t believe I’ve actually admitted it, I feel in a strange way that a weight has been lifted, like I’m ready to take the next step and tell her how I feel.

The only problem is, when it comes to my feelings, I’m still in the dark. I mean with Dariana it’s a chance for a fresh start to find what I was looking for in Liz with someone else, to be happy. On the other hand doing so means that I’ve totally unequivocally given up on Liz. I know, I should have given up on her long ago but it’s been my greatest weakness in life, holding onto her that is. I need to let go of the hope that I hold onto like a safety blanket, Liz and I were over before we even began.

However, I will not turn my back on her again. If she by the miracle of God were to wake up, I would be there for her one hundred percent and not even Dariana’s pleading, hell even begging would stop me.

I think I’m ready to begin a new life with Dariana, I need to tell her about Liz, but I will not divulge everything about our relationship. There is a sense of protectiveness that I feel about Liz. I don’t want to air her dirty laundry, or mine, for that matter so there will still be several things I will not share with Dariana. To me there is no reason for her to know everything about Liz and I, because it doesn’t concern or affect her in anyway.

I’m so lost in my thoughts that I don’t realize that Dariana is staring at me right now.

“Hey baby. How did it go?” She says to me with a smile and leans up to kiss my lips softly.

“It was good, he worked through some things and so did I.” I look into her eyes and she looks at me expectantly. I know she wants to talk, tired or not she won’t go back to sleep until its all said and done.

“I’m really glad Max. You know I just want you to be happy right? I’m not trying to push you into anything.”

“I know you’re not, you just want me to face reality right.” I give her a half smile and she smiles brightly back at me.

“Dari, we need to just talk or rather I’ll talk, you listen then ask questions. Okay?” She doesn’t answer she simply raises herself up on her elbow to cradle her head and nods at me. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly here goes nothing.

“So I guess I should start from the beginning and give you some answers. Liz and I have been…were friends for a little over ten years. She was my best friend, knew everything about me good and bad. But I made a mistake, I fell in love with her.” I can’t look at Dariana when I tell her this; I know it’s all going to be a shock for her. She knew some girl broke my heart she just had no idea until right now that it was my best friend.

“Anyway, when I met you a few years ago, I was still hung up on her that’s why I turned you down when you asked me out. I was holding onto this imaginary dream that she would one day tell me she loved me back. That day never came though. What did come was the biggest heartache I have ever experienced. I laid my heart out to her one final time hoping it would make a difference but it didn’t, she never loved me. She told me as much, she said that she could only give me friendship. I however was not willing to accept that, I couldn’t, the wound of her not loving me back was so deep I actually for the first time in my life hated her. I gave her a choice, come with me and love me or stay and loose me forever.” I am practically in tears and Dariana is sitting straight up and is holding my hand in hers for comfort. It strangely enough does bring me some type of comfort, knowing that she will be here when I’m done explaining. I never took the opportunity to acknowledge that she does this for me often. If I have a bad day at work or just having a bad day in general she’s there to listen and provide some sort of distraction.

Whether it is just sexual or suggesting a movie or dinner, she goes out of her way to help me and I never realized it until this moment. I have taken her for granted and I tell her exactly that.

“No Max, it’s okay, you have been holding all this in for so long. I don’t hold it against you, I just want you to know that I am here for you…I’ll always be here.” She says and reaches her hand to my face and places a kiss on my lips. I respond to that kiss by bringing her closer to deepen the kiss. We pull away and I can tell she has another question.

“Max, what are you going to do if she wakes up?” I understand her concern. It’s a valid question, hell I just told her that I was in love with my best friend and said best friend is lying in a hospital.

“Dari, I won’t lie to you, I have already decided that if…when she wakes up, I will ask her to come live with me.” She quickly releases her grip from my hand.

“What?! Max I don’t think that’s the best idea. I mean…” I cut her off immediately as I said before this one is not up for discussion.

“Stop, right there. Dari, I’m willing to see what can happen between us but the one thing that is not and will not be up for discussion is Liz. I’m sorry if that hurts you but I won’t abandon her again, so please don’t ask me to choose because right now if you do, I will chose her. And not for the reason you think, it’s because after all we’ve been through she has been my friend longer than the time we haven’t talked and regardless of what transpired she has and will always be a priority in my life. If you can’t accept that then, don’t. I will however not have a discussion about that topic anymore.” I’m looking right into her eyes when I tell her that. I want her to understand that this topic is off limits and a discussion will not be necessary in the future about it.

“Okay Max, I’m not happy but I know how strongly you feel about it, so I don’t have much of a choice if I want to be with you right?”

“Right.” I simply tell her because it’s the truth.

“Alright then, is there anything else you want to tell me?” She asks and I can hear the hope in her voice.

“Yes Dariana just one more thing.”

“What’s that Max?”

“I just want you to know that I do care for you Dari, I know I may not show you but I promise to make a conscious effort to do so. I know I can’t make up for the way I treated you these past couple of months but I will try and make it better between us. I just want to say that I’m sor…” She cuts me off and attacks my lips; I quickly roll her over so that I’m lying on top of her.

“Thank you Max but just don’t say you are sorry okay? I don’t want you feeling guilty about your feelings, they are valid and you had your reasons, I just want to put that past us and move on.” I look her right in the eyes and I see her sincerity so I agree.

“Okay, Dari.” That’s the last thing I say to her before we loose ourselves in one other.


TBC...

Chapter 16

Maria

I couldn’t sleep at all last night. I have to leave tonight to head back to New York. I have a tour I’m kicking off. It depresses me that I won’t be here for Liz, but she’s probably better off without me.

Lord knows I haven’t helped her out lately, not like I could have. She and I haven’t been close since I broke up with Michael if I’m honest with myself. I know that Liz was there for Michael when I did what I did; she was his shoulder to cry on along with Max’s.

Liz has this quality about her that makes you trust her and listen to her. It’s a very hard thing to describe with words, but I believe the reason she is so helpful and thoughtful is because of how she was brought up. She treated people the exact opposite of the way her foster parents would treat her. With respect, kindness and honesty. Sometime the girl was brutal but you had to love her for it. She speaks her opinion whether its wanted or not, not that I don’t do the same but I have learned what my words can do, the damage they can cause.

I have to say, although I truly miss Liz, I can’t even imagine what Max is going through. He has a girlfriend, comes to town for his nephew’s birthday party and gets a phone call in the middle of the night that the love of his life is in the hospital.

I truly to this day don’t know exactly all of the events that lead to their demise but I do know that they broke each others hearts one year ago.

I need to speak to Max before I leave, let him ask me questions if he has any, not that I know anymore than I told him but just so he knows for sure that I’m not keeping anything from him. Lies destroy people; I had to learn that the hard way.

I can’t blame Max for being pissed off at me not only for the Liz situation but for Michael’s as well. I left him, plain and simple, I ran with open arms towards my career and left Michael standing there with an engagement ring and his dreams for us behind.

Although I don’t keep in contact with anyone besides Liz, everyone knows how to get in contact me if it was ever needed.

The day I left Roswell four years ago towards my dream, Max made certain that I knew there was no going back, no second chances. For Max, we were all family, we helped each other and we were there for one another, but I broke that up in his eyes. Maybe he’s right but I can’t change that fact. He, however, made sure he told me exactly what it meant if I left the way I did.

See, Max didn’t try to change my mind he simply wanted me to realize the repercussions of my actions. That walking away from Michael the way I did would be something that I would live to regret. Boy was he right; at the time I didn’t think he was, but now…now I know he was right. I could have done it a million different ways. I could have explained to him that I needed to see where it all leads. He would have waited for me; I know he would have. My selfish immature pride got in the way and I have been regretting it ever since. If only I listened to Max, I mean really listened to him that morning…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Maria wait!” I turn when hear Max’s voice filter through the now half empty airport terminal. He’s running towards me.

“Max? What are you doing here?” He stops in front of me and breathlessly says,

“You can’t be serious, have you even thought about what you’re doing? What you’re giving up?” I put my bags down and sigh heavily. I’m not in the mood to deal with another round of conversation about Michael and I.

“Max I know what you’re going to say but you’re not going to change my mind.” I say exasperatedly.

“No Maria, I’m not here to change your mind. I’m here to remind you of what it all means.”

“Thanks Max, but I got it okay. I have already made my decision. I’m going that’s it.” Why can’t he just leave well enough alone?

“Can you just listen to me for a second?

“Fine Max go ahead, give me your words of wisdom.” I take a seat on one of the benches because I know he’s going to take awhile.

“All I’m going to say to you is that you know that Michael loves you and that you leaving is breaking his heart, but you have your reasons and I’m not going to presume to understand them. Maria your killing him, if you didn’t want to be with him why did you string him along for so long…all these years?”

“He proposes and you take that opportunity to let him know of your plans? Plans you have been making for almost a year! That’s not right Maria and you know it, it wasn’t fair. Now you’re just leaving, it’s ‘Fuck you Michael thanks for the memories even though they didn’t mean shit to me!’”

“No! That’s not it at all Max, I just I need to do this for me can’t you understand that?”

“I can’t Maria, do you want to know why? Because you could have told him, given him some kind of warning of what you were thinking but you didn’t, you are being selfish right now Maria and one day you’re going to wake up and realize what you gave up and I would just hate, for your sake, for it to be too late.” I know what he means but I can’t think about that right now.

“Max I’ve made up my mind and if I’m wrong then I’ll be the one who has to pay for that mistake.”

“No Maria, we will all pay for your mistake. You have already put a wedge between us, Michael and even Liz by leaving. It’s not that we don’t want you to go after your dreams but the way you’re doing it is all wrong.”

“Maybe Max, but it’s my choice. I really have to go now.” I rise from the chair and pick my bags back up without another glance back. Right before I walked through the doors I turned to Max whose face was downcast.

“Max?” His head snaps up in my direction.

“Yeah Maria?”

“Just don’t hate me Max, and take care of Michael for me.” I ask him pleadingly. He doesn’t answer me, he simply raises from his chair nods at me, turns and walks away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I never thought that when I made the decision to leave Roswell and move to New York that I would regret it. Yes I loved Michael but it’s what I wanted. I love my career, I’m happy with it but I’m also alone. From Max’s mouth to my own, “one day you’re going to wake up and realize what you gave up and I would just hate for your sake for it to be too late.”

I have to call Max and there’s no time like the present. I reach out to the nightstand to pick up the receiver and dial Max’s cell phone number.

***********************************

Max

“Max, I’m going to go take a shower, do you want to get up now or do you want to go back to sleep?” Dariana gently shakes me awake. I roll over to find her sitting up beside me.

“Morning baby.” She leans in and brushes a soft kiss on my lips.

“Morning, I have to get up now, if I plan on making it on time to pick Damian up.”

“Pick Damian up for what?” Damn I totally forgot to tell her about the hospital today.

“I thought we were spending the day together.” She asked confused.

“Dari, I’m so sorry I promised Damian I would take him to go see Liz, since she missed his birthday. But as soon as I’m done I’ll swing by here and pick you up and we’ll spend the rest of the afternoon together before your flight okay?” I ask her hoping she’s not pissed off at me.

“That’s fine Max, but do you…I mean would you want me to…go with you? Or no?” She asks looking away from me, her eyes are downcast and she’s playing with the trim on the bed sheets. I reach my arm out to lift her chin.

“Dari that would be really great if you would go with us, I would like that.” I give her a genuine smile; it’s time that she meets Liz.

“Really Max? Because I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable with me there or anything.”

“Not at all, now go hop in the shower so I can get in after you.” She smiles at me, leans in and kisses my cheek before bouncing off to the bathroom. I lean back against the headboard to wait and my cell phone rings.

“Hello?”

“Max…its Maria.” Oh, it is entirely too early for me to have to deal with her.

“Hey Maria, how can I help you?” She’s quite for a minute; please tell me she doesn’t have another bomb to drop on me. I truly believe I won’t be able to handle another surprise.

“I just…I hope I’m not disturbing you.” I try so hard to hate her, but I don’t. I hate what she did and how she did it but I don’t hate her. I can’t, she has helped me with Liz in the past and I can’t forget that.

“Maria, it’s okay, is there…something wrong?”

“NO! There’s nothing wrong…it’s just that I’m leaving today to go back to New York. I really don’t want to go Max, but I don’t have a choice.”

“I know Maria, it’s okay. Don’t worry I’ll take care of Liz.”

“Yeah, I know you will Max but I just…is there anything you want to ask me that I didn’t answer or I don’t know, I just feel like I owe you so much. I can never tell you how sorry I am for not telling you about Liz sooner, I let her, you and myself down.” I can hear her voice cracking I know she’s on the brink of tears. I know in my heart she is sorry.

“It’s okay Maria, nobody’s perfect. You couldn’t have stopped what was going to happen, maybe none of us could, but it doesn’t matter, what’s done is done. I don’t blame you Maria. I know you thought you were doing the right thing, okay?” She’s openly crying now telling me repeatedly how sorry she is.

“Maria, just calm down okay. Everything is going to be fine, Liz will be fine.” I say it more to comfort myself than her right now. I have to believe it otherwise I would probably suffocate from the pain.

“Okay Max.”

“Maria?”

“Yes Max?” She sniffles into the phone.

“Thank you”

“For what?” I know she’s confused.

“For calling me, you didn’t have to but you did. You also didn’t have to confront me at the hospital but you did even though I know it was hard for you. Thank you for telling me what you did about Liz.”

“You’re welcome Max, I just wish I had more answers.”

“Me too Maria, me too.”

“Alright then, I have to get ready I’m going to see Liz today.”

“Me too I’m taking Damian and Dariana to see her this morning.”

“Oh well that’s good Max, I know that Damian misses her, it’s going to be hard for him. I’m headed over this afternoon around twelve or so.”

“Yeah Maria, I know it will be hard on him but he’s a smart kid, I’m sure he’ll be fine. Have a good trip Maria, call me when you land okay?” I worry about her. I can’t help it. I know that if Liz were capable she would be able to find out what’s wrong with her. Maria would never in a million years call me today and breakdown like she did.

“Sure Max, I’ll call you later then.”

“Bye Maria.”

“Bye Max and thank you.”

“Anytime Maria.”

After my talk with Maria, I realized Dariana is now blow-drying her hair. That’s why I had her get in the shower first; the woman takes at least an hour to do her hair.

I roll onto my back and just start to make a mental list of everything that I know so far about Liz. It’s like I’m trying to put a puzzle together and just when I think I have all the pieces I realize there are more missing from the box.

The things that I do know for sure are:

Liz broke up with Jordan six months ago
Liz was three months pregnant
Jordan was cheating on Liz for at least a year that I know of
He has been hitting her for at least six months prior to her breaking up with him
The police found her at a pay phone, at least ten blocks from his house
Jordan is missing

What I don’t know is:

If she broke up with him six months ago, how was she pregnant with his kid?
Did she know whom he was cheating on her with?
If so did she confront him? Did that lead to the fight?
She was ten blocks from his house, and she obviously didn’t walk. So how did she get there?
Where the hell is Jordan?
Where has she been living for the past six months? Because obviously if she was broken up with him according to Maria, where was she staying?

I obviously have more questions than answers. I need to just close my eyes for a few minutes and just run through the past couple of days in my head one more time, maybe I missed something.

I hear the bathroom door open.

“Max I’m done you can use it now.” I roll off the bed and grab some boxers from my suitcase and head into the bathroom. Dariana is still in here though.

“I thought you said you were done?” I ask her as I lean into the shower to turn the water on.

“I am done, with my hair. Now I have to do my make up.” She replies as if it was common knowledge to me. Of it’s not though since the only thing I have ever witnessed was the drying of her hair. This happened once, when her electricity went out in the apartment one morning so she came over to my house to dry her hair.

“Oh okay, well I’ll be right out.” I hop in the shower.

“Take your time it’s still early, what time were you planning on picking up Damian anyway?” I quickly peak my head out from behind the shower curtain to answer her.

“At about nine thirty.”

“Okay good, I have enough time to get ready without rushing.” What the hell is she talking about? All I see that she has to do is get dressed. I never knew how high maintenance she was. I’m not used to that at all.

With Liz, she would hop out the shower towel dry her hair and throw on some clear lip-gloss, and put on whatever was laying around. Without even trying she looked amazing. Dariana wears makeup she’s always re-applying it as she says to look good for me. Whatever, woman I’ll just never understand them.

The warm water running down my back feels so good. I’m tense about today because of Damian. I will have to keep my emotions at bay. I’m just glad that Isabel and Alex agreed to let me go with him.

“Do you want me to close the door?”

“Yeah could you please, I’ll be out in a few.” I hear the click of the door and turn around so my back is facing the spray of the water. I can’t keep my mind from wandering back to the morning of the phone call from the hospital and every moment there after.

From the first time I saw her, to seeing Isabel’s reaction, my mothers and fathers. The one though that sticks out in my mind the most is Isabel’s. She took it really hard, maybe a little too hard. I mean I know that Liz babysat for Damian so she saw her often but when she opened the door to Liz’s room and saw her, she was in tears. I mean real tears like she felt bad, really bad. I’m not saying Isabel has not heart but she didn’t even know what was going on to be hysterical crying.

I mean she came in looked at Liz, started crying came over to me and asked me what happened. So obviously she didn’t know, she couldn’t have because everyone that knew was in the room at the time.

Wait a minute…She asked me what happened, but then she came over to me and said…“He did this to her Max? Why?”

How the hell did she know he did anything to her? There is no way, for her to have known that because I was the only one besides Maria that knew up until that point. And Maria hadn’t arrived yet.

“Oh my God! Isabel knew! She knows something and didn’t tell me. Now I have to find out what that is and why the fuck my own sister has been lying to me.”

TBC…WEDNESAY! Thanks for reading!

Chapter 17

Max

I am so pissed off right now, how could Isabel lie to me? I have to be wrong because I know that she wouldn’t hold out information about Liz to me…would she? God, it seems like the car ride to my parents house is taking longer than twenty minutes.

I told Dariana as soon as I got out of the shower what I remembered. She told me that I was overreacting, that maybe I thought that’s what Isabel said and that I shouldn’t accuse her of anything, but simply ask her.

“Max would you just calm down because if you go storming into your parents house and attack Isabel and she does know something she’ll never tell you.”

“Dari, I know that but if she knows something and hasn’t told me then I don’t know if I can just forgive her and look the other way.”

“I know Max but just try, maybe there is a reasonable explanation to it all. Maybe she doesn’t even know anything or…”

“Or maybe she’s been lying to me for God knows how long?” I am so irritated, I don’t mean to take it out on her but I need to talk to Isabel now.

We finally arrive at my parent’s house and I can get through the door fast enough.

“Hi honey, Damian is almost done.”

“Ah, yeah thanks mom, hey is Isabel around?” I quickly give my mom a kiss on her cheek and stroll past her on my way upstairs in hopes of finding Isabel. Unfortunately just as I ascend the first couple of steps I see Damian with Isabel and Alex following closely behind. I guess this conversation will have to wait.

I turn my attention to my mom and Dariana.

“Hello Mrs. Evans, forgive Max he’s a little preoccupied this morning.”

“It’s okay Dariana how are you this morning? Are you going with Max to see Liz too?”

“I’m good thank you and yes I am going to see Liz.”

“You never met Liz did you?” My mom asks Dariana.

“No, in fact I didn’t know about Liz until last night.” Oh no, I don’t need my mother to get involved and tell Dari something I don’t want her to know.

“Mom, are you and dad going to the hospital at all?” Trying to divert the conversation in a different direction then where it looks like it’s headed.

“Honey we went last night and we’ll be stopping by again after your father gets back from fishing this afternoon. Don’t worry, we won’t leave her alone for long.” She says reassuringly to me. It makes me feel really lucky to have the parents I have, they’re not only strong but they are also very supportive.

“Thanks mom.”

“Uncle Max!” I turn and see Damian jumping off the last step. He is sporting a huge grin one that reminds me of his mother’s and runs into my arms.

“Hey big guy are you ready?”

“Yup all ready. Oh! Mom!” He says looking up at me with his light brown eyes sparkling with happiness.

“Damian baby you don’t need to shout I’m standing right behind you. Hey Max, Dariana.”

“Mom, where’s my present for aunt Liz?”

“Right here.” Isabel holds a light pink bag out to him, which he quickly grabs onto.

“Hi, Isabel, Alex.” Dariana tries to break the silence of me not addressing Isabel with words but with more a very unfriendly glare.

“Hey Dariana, Max how’s it going?” Alex obviously has caught unto me, so he tries to divert my attention.

“Fine Alex, everything is just fine.” I say trying to be pleasant but failing miserably, just seeing Isabel right now I don’t want to wait to ask her, I can’t wait.

“Isabel can I talk to you for a minute in the kitchen before we leave?”

“Yeah sure Max, Damian baby give your mom a kiss.” Damian turns and Isabel bends down to hug him and he kisses her cheek.

“Love you mom.”

“I love you to sweetie.”

“Do you want to wait in the car for me?” I turn to address Dariana

“Max I don’t think that’s a good idea how about we wait in the living room?” I know what she’s trying to do. She knows that if I find out that Isabel was keeping something from me, I’ll loose it and blow up at her. She’s figuring that since Damian will be in the next room I will control my temper. Since I don’t want to argue about it in front of my mother I agree with her.

“Okay Max, I’m all set.” Isabel turns and walks towards the kitchen I follow her lead. She takes a seat at the kitchen table.

“Max, if this is about Liz. I’m sorry, Alex and I are going to see her later today after mom and dad get back from visiting so they can watch Damian.” I completely dismiss her, at the moment I am standing behind one of the chairs gripping it for dear life. Trying to keep my temper at bay.

“Isabel, I need to ask you something and I need you to be completely honest with me.”

“Is everything okay Max?” She looks worried but I’m sure she has no idea what I’m going to ask her.

“Just answer the question I’m about to ask Isabel and know that I trust you, so if you tell me you don’t know I’ll believe you, okay?” I give her a pointed look that says, she better not lie to me. She swallows hard and places her clasped hands on the table waiting for me to ask.

“Go ahead Max.”

“When you arrived at the hospital you went into Liz’s room and you took one look at her and crossed the room to my side and do you know what you said?” I’m going to give her an opportunity to tell me before I come out and ask her.

“I…I was crying and I asked you what happened or something like that. Max I don’t know what you’re asking me.” She wants to play the 'I don’t know' game with me and it’s not going to work this time.

“Wrong, you asked me, “He did this to her?” do you remember now?” She unclasps her hands and rises from the chair, she looks as if she’s going to be sick.

“Max…I…”

“Tell me Isabel! Tell me what you’re hiding from me! Then please tell me why, why my own sister has been lying to me!”

“Just calm down Max okay I was going to tell you but I just didn’t know how.”

“Not good enough Isabel, you never had any intention of telling me, so now that I know you know something tell me damn it!” She was crying now, I know I’m being harsh but how many people are going to lie to me in my life?

“Stop yelling at me Max okay! I was going to tell you but I just didn’t know how, I was scared.”

“Scared Isabel? Scared of what?”

“Max it’s about Liz and I knew you would be upset that I didn’t tell you months ago.”

“Months! You’ve known whatever it is for months and never thought to pick up the fucking phone and tell me!? I don’t get it, how could you keep secrets from me especially about Liz?”

“She knew you would be upset and come here to try and fix everything, but trust me Max it wouldn’t have made a difference!”

“No difference then why the hell didn’t you tell me? If I couldn’t fix it then what was the difference? You should have told me!” While we are arguing I don’t even realize that I still don’t know what the hell she knows. I calm myself down and realize I’ll never find out like this.

“Isabel, I’m sorry just tell me okay?” She crying and she turns her back to me to wipe her tears. I approach her slowly and place a hand on her shoulder.

“Please.” I plead with her. She turns around to address me.

“Max, she…the…I…”

“Isabel is everything okay in here?” Damn it! Alex just had to walk in right now right?

“Yeah Alex everything is fine. Max and I were just having a discussion and it got out of hand.”

“What was it about? Because you look upset Isabel.” Wait a minute she’s avoiding his question, does that mean that Alex doesn’t even know?

“Alex it’s nothing okay, just drop it! I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

“Isabel.”

“Later Max, I won’t do this now and Damian is waiting for you so just go.”

“Fine but this conversation is not over.”

“I know it’s not Max I’ll call you later when I have time to talk okay?”

“Yeah, Iz. I’ll just get going now. Later Alex.”

“Yeah, bye Max.” He wasn’t even regarding me at this point. He knows Isabel is hiding something as well and by the looks of it she’s not going to be able to keep it to herself for very long. I just can’t understand why she would not only lie to me but to Alex as well, it just doesn’t make sense. God! I don’t think I’ll be able to be patient enough to make it through the next couple of hours not knowing what Isabel is hiding. I don’t have much of a choice because as I enter the living room Damian is already bouncing up off the couch next to Dariana.

“Uncle Max are we leaving yet?” He asks whining to me. I look down to him.

“Yes, we are leaving right now.”

“Yeah!” I have to laugh, to be a kid again with no worries… now that’s the good life.

“Are you okay I heard you yelling?” Dariana asks me quietly.

“Everything is fine for now I guess.”

“Did she tell you anything?”

“No but I did get one answer.”

“What’s that Max?”

“That my twin sister has been lying to not only me but to Alex as well and it has something to do with Liz.”

“She didn’t tell you?”

“Dari, would I be standing here with you if she did, I’d still be in the kitchen with her.” I say to her sarcastically.

“You don’t have to be nasty with me you know, I’m just concerned.” She’s right, I’m just so frustrated with Isabel I can’t even think straight. We head out of the house and into the car. After Damian is buckled into the back I get into the drivers side.

“I’m sorry Dari, I’m just upset right now and I want answers.” She leans over the seat and kisses my cheek softly.

“I know Max, don’t worry you’ll get your answers later.” She smiles at me and leans back to buckle her seat belt.

“I can’t wait to see aunt Liz and give her my present. Uncle Max do you think she will like it?” He asks innocently.

“Of course she will Damian just because it’s from you so don’t worry about it okay?”

“Okay uncle Max.”

“Dari?”

“Yes Damian?”

“Do you know my aunt Liz?”

“No I don’t but I will get to meet her today, is that okay?”

“Yup that’s okay, she’s the best.” He says enthusiastically and I can’t help but agree with him.

***********************************

We arrive at the hospital and enter Liz’s room. I enter first with Damian’s hand in mine followed by Dariana.

“Uncle Max?” He tugs on my hand I lean down to look at him. He looks worried.

“It’s okay Damian you don’t have to be afraid, I’m here with you.”

“Can she…she hear me?” He looks from her lying on the bed back up at me.

“I don’t know but it doesn’t hurt to talk to her I’m sure that if she’s going to hear anyone it will be you.” I know that Alex and Isabel prepared him for what he was going to see, but nothing compares to actually being in the room.

“Can I give her my present?” I turn to look at Dariana, she’s standing by the closed door and she looks a little shaken up.

“Dari are you okay? You don’t have to be in here if you don’t want.” I try to say in a soothing voice. I can’t have the both of them break down right now on me. I can barely keep myself together. No matter how many times I see Liz this way it doesn’t change the feeling, it’s like walking into this room for the first time a couple of days ago. The pain and remorse haven’t subsided.

“No Max, I want to stay. I’ll just stay back here until Damian’s done okay?”

“Yeah okay that’s fine. At least sit down though.” I motion to the chair beside the door and she takes a seat quietly. I return my attention to Damian who is now standing beside Liz’s bed and is reaching his hand out to touch hers. I slowly approach him without saying anything, he deserves this time with Liz so I just stand back and take a seat in the windowsill to observe.

“Aunt Liz, it’s me, Damian. I missed you yesterday for my birthday. I got you a present.” He bends down to grab the bag he has been clutching since his mom put it in his hand. He stands back up and he’s holding a picture frame I can’t see what it’s of. He holds it up but he can’t reach so he turns to me and I immediately know what he wants before he asks. I rise quickly to his side and gently lift him to sit beside Liz on the bed.

“Thanks.” He says in a small voice without taking his eyes off Liz. I feel for him, he loves her so much, watching him interact with her, even though she can’t respond brings tears to my eyes along with a crushing weight of guilt. I feel so guilty and so responsible for this. It’s like I feel as if I should have known what was going on with her, she was supposed to be my best friend and I let her down. I was so angry with her, hell I still am. I wish I could just let it roll off my back but I can’t. I don’t think I ever will. Yeah, maybe I didn’t have to be so harsh about it but what she did in response to it hurt like hell, it still hurts mainly because she did it on purpose and she knew it would break my heart.

“It’s a picture of me and you at the park when you were watching me for mommy and daddy remember Aunt Liz? Well I’m gonna put the picture on your table so when you wake up you will know I was here to see you.” He turns around slowly and places the picture frame on the nightstand.

“I miss you Aunt Liz, I love you, I hope you wake up soon so we can play together on the swings and you can read me bed time stories, cause you’re my most favorite person to read to me.” His voice is starting to crack, I know he wants to cry. I go to his side immediately.

“It’s okay to cry Damian.”

“I know uncle Max but I wanna be strong for Aunt Liz, she’s probably scared and I don’t want her to be more scared because she thinks I’m not okay. Okay?” I just nod, I’m practically in tears and I turn my gaze towards Dariana and she’s in tears already. Just then though there’s a knock at the door, Dariana gets up and opens it.

“Hi, I’m sorry I’ll just come back.”

“No Michael it’s fine.” She steps back to let Michael in.

“Hey.”

“Hey Michael.”

“Uncle Mike what are you doing here? Are you here to see my Aunt Liz too?” Damian’s demeanor changes he’s completely engrossed with Michael right now. I can’t say that I’m not happy about that, I was two seconds from a breakdown.

“Yes I am, but I see you’re not done so I’ll just come back later.”

“Actually Michael, Damian's about ready so do you think you could take him back to the house and give Dari and I just a few minutes alone?” I hate to put him out but I need some time with her alone with Liz.

“Sure no problem. I’ll just head back after I drop him off, is that enough time?”

“Yes perfect, thanks.”

“Come on Damian, let’s go home and you can tell your mom and dad all about your visit.”

“Okay.” He leans in over Liz and places a kiss on her cheek. “Love you.” I then lift him off the bed and he leaves with Michael, not before he gives me a hug and kiss goodbye.

***********************************

“Dari, are you okay?”

“Yeah Max I’m fine, you know I was just shocked and I didn’t know what to expect but I’m good now.” I don’t believe her she’s really shaken up by this. I take her hand in mine and lead her to Liz’s side.

“Dari, this is Liz Parker.”

She just stands there in shock, not saying a word. She’s just looking at her, crying.

“I know it’s hard we don’t have to stay.”

“I’m sorry Max, I just didn’t know what to expect. I’m sorry you have to go through this but I can’t stay.”

“It’s okay Dari we don’t have to stay but can you give me just a minute alone with her and I’ll be right out?”

“Sure Max, no problem I’ll just wait outside by the car.”

“Thank you.” She nods and walks out of the room I turn to address Liz.

“Hey there, I’m really glad Damian got to see you today. He really misses you Liz he wants you to wake up. I really hope you can hear me. I know that when you wake up things are only going to get harder but I’m willing to go through it all if you would just open your beautiful brown eyes. Liz, please.” I breakdown now, I can’t contain my frustration any longer. The tears slide down my face and I pray silently to whoever is listening to bring her back to us.

“Okay, I have to go now but Michael’s coming and so are Isabel and Alex so you won’t be alone for long. I don’t want to leave you I hope you know that, but I’ll be back, I promise.”

I take a minute to regain my composure and swipe the tears from my eyes. I lean over her and kiss her forehead gently.

“Bye Liz.”

I exit the room and head out to the car. I hope Dariana is okay, she took it pretty hard, which I can understand why, when she was sixteen she had to watch her mom die in a hospital bed.

“You okay?”

“Yes Max, I just wasn’t prepared for that. You know it was just like everything came back to me all at once.” I leaned over and wrapped my arms around her.

“I know, come on let’s get you back to the hotel, your flight leaves in two hours and I want to take you to lunch.”

“Thank you Max.” I start the engine and make my way onto the highway heading in the direction of the hotel.

“No problem Dari, I understand.” She grabs my hand and places it in her lap giving it a squeeze. It’s weird for me right now because I have all these feelings for Liz good and bad, but being with Dariana brings out all these other feelings, feelings I didn’t think I even could have again with someone. I don’t love her but I really do care about her and for the first time I’m realizing that maybe I could love again.



TBC…

Chapter 18

Michael

After I dropped Damian off I headed back to the hospital to find that Max and Dariana have already left. Angela is leaving for the airport; both her and Dariana have the same flight back to California. Max and I leave in two days, I know he’s not going to take that well, but unfortunately he has a business to run.

So I enter Liz’s room and it pains me to see her like this. She looks so fragile, so broken I just hope that she wakes up soon. The way Max explains it, the longer she stays unconscious the more damage is being done. I just thought that if…when she wakes up it will be like she was just asleep, apparently I was wrong. According to the doctors she could wake up and be in perfect health or she could wake up and need to relearn how to speak, talk and walk. They said that’s the more severe cases and in all probability she will just need some physical therapy but she will have to take it easy for at least four to five weeks.

I can understand better now Max’s decision of Liz going to live with him. I still don’t think it’s the wisest idea but he’s right, what other choice does he have? She can’t stay here especially since the cops don’t know where Jordan is and while she could stay at mom and dads, Jordan knows where they live and it’s not the safest option.

I take a seat besides her looking at her, she seems to be at peace but all I feel is guilt. She has been there for me through the years, she really helped me when Maria left me, more than I ever thanked her for. Even though I moved into the Evan’s household her and I were the same. We both had bad childhoods and always blamed ourselves for that, even though now that I look back it was just the hand I was dealt, no one persons fault over another, it just was that way.

“Hey there beautiful, I know I haven’t come to see you and I’m sorry. I was just afraid to see you this way, I’m so sorry you had to go through this Liz, it’s just not fair. I wish you had gone to someone even if it wasn’t me or Max, anybody to just help you. I know how hard it is to ask for help. I want you to know that when you wake up because I know you will, I’m going to be there for you. I promise I won’t let you down again Liz.”

I can’t help but cry. It breaks my heart to see her this way. I feel like I let her down, no… I know I let her down. She was there for me when Maria decided her career was more important than me. Besides that she was my friend and we had some good times together.

“Oh God what did I do?”

I look at her now and I don’t see her with the scars that mar her face, I see her as the Liz Parker that in her own way was silly and funny. She wouldn’t show that to the world but the people closest to her got to see the amazing person she is inside. I remember one night she came over to the house because Max and Maria had to work, it was the summer before Max went off to college and Maria left me, so we decided we would stay in and watch a movie together. Thinking back on it now brings a smile to my face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So Michael since I’m the guest I get to choose what movie we watch right?” She says walking into my bedroom holding up a bag in her left hand.

“Okay first of all Liz what the hell are you wearing?” She looks so cute right now. I understand how Maxwell fell in love with the girl. She looks down at herself then back up at me.

“What? I was hot.” She rolls her eyes and takes a seat next to me on the bed.

“Yeah but Liz, you look like you’re a five year old or something.”

“I do not.” She pouts and crosses her arms.

“Yes you do. You have your hair in two pigtails; you’re wearing a strawberry shortcake tank top and pink shorts with little ankle socks. Yeah I would say you look like you’re five years old.” I say without trying to even hide the smirk on my face.

“Hey so sue me if I didn’t feel like doing laundry, now onto to more pressing matters. I get to decide the movie right?” She turns her head and her pigtails slap her in the face, she tries to hold back the laughter that is about to erupt from within. She fails miserably as do I. After our laughing fit, I answer her question.

“Liz you always get to decide.”

“No I don’t, you and Max always pick out movies and I get stuck watching them whether I like them or not.” What a liar she is!

“Yeah right! You know that all you have to do is give Max that, ‘I’m a lost little puppy come help me’ look and you get whatever you want.” She can’t argue with the truth.

“Jealously is not becoming Michael.”

“Okay so what did you rent then?” I cross my arms and lean back against the headboard. She reaches forward to grab the bag at the foot of the bed, and then turns to me.

“Let’s see, I have Forrest Gump and Pretty Woman.” She can’t be serious.

“Liz those are like chick flicks. I don’t watch chick flicks.”

“Oh come on Michael, I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”

“No Liz, I refuse to watch either of those movies. I don’t care if you beg me, I won’t do it.” Oh no, not the “I’m a lost little puppy come help me’ look. God! Now I know why Maxwell gives in, she so damn adorable.

“Fine Liz, we’ll watch Forrest Gump because I will not watch Pretty Woman.”

“Why not Michael, I mean its Julia Roberts she’s like half naked and there is sex in the movie.” Is she serious?

“Well then I guess it would be okay if we watched that one.” I snatch it from her hands and walk over to the VCR to put it in.

“Hmm funny how we change our tune when I mention ‘naked’ and ‘sex’. You’re such a guy.” She rolls her eyes and leans forward onto her stomach with her feet swinging in the air. I need to talk to Max more about these chick flicks, hell I just thought they were stupid, meaningless, no plot movies. Now I come to find out there is sex and nakedness, oh he’s going to pay for holding back that vital information.

“Shut it Parker the movie’s about to start.” I lay down beside her as the opening credits begin.

“Hey is that a DeLorean?”

“Shut it Evans, I’m trying to watch the chick flick.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s still weird to hear till this day someone refer to me as ‘Evans’ but I can’t say that I don’t love it. The day the Evans adopted me that was the day I felt like I really belonged to a family.

That day however, was definitely a day I’d never forget and one that I never let Max live down either. Who knew that chick flicks could be so…what’s the word I’m looking for racy? Max knew that’s for sure.

I wish she would just open her eyes so I could tell her how sorry I am for not being here for her when I know she was there for me when everything happened with Maria.

That day she left me was my low point, I had no idea I could sink lower than that until the reality of it all really hit me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m so sorry, I tried to talk to her but she didn’t want to hear it. She said she made up her mind and no one was going to change it.”

“I know Maxwell it just hurts so bad. How could I not know she didn’t want to be with me? How could I have fooled myself into thinking that after spending four years of my life with her, that she wasn’t in it for the long haul?”

There was a knock on Max’s bedroom door. I sat up on his bed wiping the tears from my eyes. I wonder who it is, no one was supposed to be home for hours.

“Come in!”

“I…I just wanted to make sure Michael was okay…because…I…talked to Maria and she told me what happened.” I looked up at Liz and she saw the pain and hurt in my eyes, she quickly crossed the room and kneeled before me.

“I wish I knew someway I could have stopped it. I’m just so angry with her right now but I didn’t know until this morning and by that time it was too late she already told you.”

“I know Liz, I don’t blame you it’s not your fault.”

“Yeah but I should have known something was wrong I could’ve said or done something, Michael I’m sorry.” I looked down into her tear streaked face, I know that Maria leaving didn’t just affect me it affected everyone.

“Come here.” I motion for her to sit beside me. Max is in the corner of his room giving us this time to ourselves.

“Don’t cry Liz.”

“You first.” She could always make you laugh even if you didn’t want to.

“Okay, okay.”

“Michael, I want you to know that if you need me I’m here for you and I’ll never leave you okay?”

“I know that Liz.”

“Me too.” Max said coming to stand in front of us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t until later that night after we had dinner and everyone was asleep that I really had time on my hands to sit and think about everything. I couldn’t stand it and I had to get out, so I went to a local bar and had a few drinks. Yes, I know I was underage but I knew the bartender and so long as I was paying he wasn’t asking.

Well after about six beers, I was in no condition to drive myself home so I called the one person I knew would have his cell phone on at this hour. Max.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hello.” It was a females voice but I dialed Max’s cell phone. Maybe I’m drunker than I had originally thought.

“Ah, yeah can I speak with Max?”

“Michael?”

“Liz?” What the hell is she doing answering Max’s cell phone. Just then I hear a muffled voice and then Max’s through the receiver.

“Michael, where are you, because I know your not in your bedroom calling my cell phone right?”

“Nope I’m out.”

“Out, out where?”

“Just out, look it doesn’t matter but I need you to come and pick me up.” I could hear Liz in the background, why is she there in the middle of the night? I’ll have to try and remember that question later.

“Where are you?” I told him and within fifteen minutes he and Liz were pulling up to my car. Liz immediately runs to my door and opens it up.

“Are you okay?”

“Oh yeah I’m just fucking great! I mean why wouldn’t I be? The love of my life just left me, my best friend is leaving for college, nope not a thing wrong with me. Thanks for asking though.” I say sarcastically.

“Michael.”

“No Maxwell it’s true you’re leaving, Maria left the end.”

“Michael you know I’ll be back and you can come and visit me, but I know this isn’t about me so don’t use that as an excuse. It’s about Maria.”

“You’re right it is about that bitch. How fucking stupid was I? Huh Liz? How stupid, I loved her and she told me she loved me, but that was a fucking lie. I was so naïve, I let her rule my world and what did it get me?”

“Michael it’s going to be okay, you’ll get through this, we’ll help you.”

“No! I won’t get through this I won’t even get past this, I just feel like dying. What am I supposed to do without her? Tell me Liz! What do I do now??” I’m openly crying to her now.

She takes my hand and bends down.

“Together Michael, together. I know you want to just give up, but don’t you have so much love to offer. I know right now you feel like you’re not going to get past this but you will. It won’t be overnight, it may not even be a year but you will Michael I promise you will.” I lean over and wrap my arms around her and I cry for what feels like hours she doesn’t let me go until I’m ready.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That was the first of many nights like that, but as she promised she was always there. When Max went off to college Liz would still come by the house daily, besides the fact that she loved the Evans’ she would check up on me and we actually started a weekly chick flick viewing party. Just the two of us lost in the fictional world. It was great.

The slight clicking of the door tears my attention from Liz. I turn to see who’s entered the room.

“Hi Michael, if you’re still visiting I’ll just wait outside.”

“No it’s fine Maria, I was just finishing up. I thought you were leaving today?”

“Oh I am but I wanted to say goodbye to Liz first.” I nod; it hurts seeing her, talking to her, knowing she’s not my Maria. I turn and lift one of Liz’s hands and place a soft kiss on it before returning it to her side.

“Love you.”

“Michael?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I talk to you outside for a second?”

“Sure.” Why did I just say that? We walked out of Liz’s room and stand just outside the door.

“Michael I just want to tell you that I’m sorry.” What is she sorry for?

“For what Maria? You don’t owe me any apology.”

“Yes I do, I assume Max told you about what I knew about Liz right?” He did tell me but I don’t blame her. She’s not looking at me anymore her head is down and I can hear her voice cracking.

“I’m so sorry, I could have done something if I just called Max, maybe I could have prevented this, she wouldn’t be in that room unconscious. I mean what if she doesn’t wake up, what if…”

“Maria, stop it! It’s not your fault; you did what she asked you to do. Besides Maria, what’s done is done and I know you didn’t mean for things to get so out of hand.” She’s crying harder, her shoulders are shaking. I can’t help it, I step closer to her and wrap my arms around her and she weeps harder. Repeating how sorry she is, how she let everyone down again. In that moment I knew she wasn’t just apologizing for Liz but for me as well. I run my hands through her soft curls, her hair is much longer now but she still feels just as amazing as she did before against my body.

“It’s okay Maria, Liz is going to be fine and you need to just stay strong for her. She wouldn’t want you crying over her now would she?” She sniffles a bit then loosens her grip on me and takes a step back.

“No she wouldn’t.” She smiles at me through her tears.

“Good, now go in there and say goodbye and don’t forget to call when you get to New York.” What? Why the hell did I say that? I don’t care…yes I do. Whether I want to or not I care.

“You mean that Michael?”

“Yes Maria, I meant it.” And I really did.

“Okay, well I’ll just go in now I don’t have to long before I have to get to the airport.”

“Alright then, I’ll talk to you later then. Bye Maria.”

“Bye Michael.” She slips through Liz’s door without another word.

I stand there staring at the door just thinking about the last couple of minutes. Holding her again felt right…to right. I have to get out of here, what am I thinking? I look down at my watch. Shit! Now I have to drive like the wind to pick up Angela at the hotel. Boy is she going to be pissed.


TBC…SATURDAY! Let me know what you think! Thanks!

A/N Anyway I have posted in two parts and Chapter 20 is ADULT my first at that so don't be too harsh , so if that's not your thing...you can pass the Italic parts lol! I just wanted to warn ya first.

Chapter 19

Alex

“Isabel what the hell was that with Max?” She was cleaning up the kitchen from breakfast.

“Nothing Alex, he was just upset because of Liz. You know he’s just not taking everything well.” She not looking at me and completely trying to avoid the situation.

“Stop lying Isabel! I’m tired of it and I’ve let it go on for far too long. So are you going to tell me the truth? It’s either you tell me and I will try to help you or Max is going to come back and he’s not going to take your silence as an answer and you know that.” I’m so pissed off right now; she’s been lying to me for god knows how long, but why?

“Alex please I can’t talk about this right now.”

“Too bad Isabel because Max is going to go to the hospital then drop Dariana off at the airport and then you know where he’s headed right?”

“Yes Alex, I know. I just don’t know what to do about it.”

“You can start by telling me the truth. What are hiding?” I’m furious with her I know we’re are being less than discreet and I know that Mrs. Evan’s can hear us, but she’s good about letting Isabel and I have our fights in private.

“I’m not ready Alex. Yes I’ve been lying to you but I didn’t mean it. I had to do it, I was trying to help Liz.” She’s at the brink of tears when she turns to address me. For her sake I hope she tells me before Max gets here.

“Isabel, do you trust me?”

“Of course Alex what kind of a question is that?”

“A legitimate one Iz, to me anyway. You have been keeping secrets from me for how long?”

“It’s not like that.”

“How long!” I have no patience left. Obviously I have been fooled into believing that she trusts me and that we have a relationship.

“Would you stop yelling at me? First Max, then you I can’t handle this right now!”

“If you didn’t lie and keep secrets then we wouldn’t have anything to yell about now would we Isabel?” I say sarcastically.

“Just tell me, you never had any intention of telling me or Max. I know you’ve been keeping something from me for about three months.”

“How…how do you know that?” Oh she thinks she’s slick and is getting over on me.

“I know you would leave the bed in the middle of the night and when I would go looking for you, you weren’t anywhere I could find you. So, what, are you cheating on me or something?”

“What? No! Alex, it’s not like that. I was helping Liz that’s all, she needed me and I was just helping her.”

“Right Isabel, Liz needed your help. You stopped talking to her about anything serious almost two years ago, so now do you want to tell me the truth?”

“I am telling you the truth!”

“You know what Isabel, I’m done with this conversation. I gave you a choice, you chose to continue to lie to me…”

“Alex I really was helping Liz, I’m telling you the truth.”

“No! You may have been helping Liz but you still have not told me why and what is it you’re keeping from Max so cut the bullshit Iz! As far as I’m concerned I’m done with it all…everything. I let you treat me like shit, I let you walk on me, and I push my feelings to the side for you. To think I wanted you to tell me what you’re hiding not to fight with you but to help you when Max came back, but you know what Iz? For the first time I don’t give shit what happens!” I turn and walk out the room headed straight for the front door. I have some important decisions to make. I hear her call my name but I continue on through the front door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Isabel

God! What the hell did I do? I have been lying to Alex and Max and now Max is going to find out I’ve been keeping the truth from him for three months. He’s never going to forgive me. And Alex, I have treated him so badly. I know what he says is right; I push his feelings to the side for my feelings and my problems. It’s not fair to him. I guess that’s why he has yet to ask me to marry him. Hell, I wouldn’t ask me to marry me either.

I feel like my life is spinning out of control and I don’t know how to fix it and to be honest. I don’t have to think about that because I’m sure by now Max is on his way to the airport and will shortly making his appearance back here.

“Isabel honey is everything okay? Did Alex just leave?” I wipe the tears from my eyes.

“Yeah mom, we just had a fight and he just needs some time.”

“Honey if you need to talk you know I’m here right. No matter what it is you can tell me.”

“I know mom, but I have to talk to Max first, that is, of course, if he listens to me without yelling too much.” I say with a small laugh.

“Why would Max yell at you Isabel, what’s going on?” I know she’s confused, first Max and I fight then Alex and I.

“Mom I can’t tell you right now, but I will. Let’s just say that I made a mistake and I have been keeping something from Max and I know he’s not going to ever forgive me and that scares the hell out of me.” I turn to my mom. She wraps her arms around me tightly.

“Isabel, Max loves you! Whatever it is he’ll forgive you, don’t worry. Even if he’s upset he will get over it.” She tries to reassure me, but I know Max and when it comes to Liz there is no getting over anything. I can still hope though that my mom is right. God I hope so.

“Thanks mom, I’m going to take a quick shower, Damian should be home shortly so I want to be ready.”

“Of course honey. Oh, you know that you’re father and I are going to see Liz later today right?”

“Yeah mom, I’m going tonight before visiting hours are over.” I turn to leave the kitchen.

“Okay then… Isabel?”

“Yes?”

“Everything will be fine sweetie.”

“Right.” I continue out the doorway heading upstairs. I can only hope that someone is home when Max gets here.

I got out of the shower about twenty minutes later and I heard voices downstairs. I never thought that my greatest fear right now would be my own brother.

I head down the stairs and I hear Damian and…Michael?

“Hey Iz. Max had to take Dariana to the airport so he asked if I could take Damian home, I’m headed back to the hospital now.”

“Oh yeah that’s fine Michael. Did he say he was coming back here or anything?”

“Not that I can recall, but he’ll probably stop by. See you later Isabel.”

“Yeah bye Michael.” I’m so preoccupied I don’t notice Damian calling me.

“Mom…Mom…MOM!”

“Yes honey?”

“I saw Aunt Liz and I gave her my present.” He looked up at me, right at that moment he looked just like Alex. God Alex! What did I do to him? This just keeps getting worse by the minute.

“Oh really! Well I know she couldn’t see it right now but when she opens her eyes and sees it, she’s going to love it.”

“I know mom. Can I go upstairs and play now?”

“Of course. Are you hungry?”

“Nope.” He runs up the staircase and disappears around the corner without another word.

So now all I have to do is wait. Great, you really fucked up now Isabel. Good job!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maria

I enter this room for the second time and it doesn’t get any easier. In fact it gets harder and harder each time. Probably because every time I look at her I wish, I hope and pray that she will open her eyes. I have to wonder though, if she could would she want to?

I know it’s bad to say or think, but what if she doesn’t want to wake up? I’ve heard all sorts of stories about people in comas who don’t fight, like there is this struggle their going through in their own minds and if they win then they awake if not, they…die. No, I know Liz she would want to be awake. I mean she has so much to live for right?

I wish I had more answers, I wish I wasn’t so self centered and would have paid more attention.

“Liz, it’s Maria.” I lean over her and lightly brush my fingers through her hair. She looks so peaceful.
“I’m sorry I let you down Liz. You needed me and I was too busy as usual. I left you when I should have been protecting you. I can’t forgive myself Liz.” I hope she can hear me.

“Liz if you can hear me, we all want you to wake up and fight Liz. I know things were bad honey but we’ll all be here for you. I’ll be here for you and I won’t let you down.

“It was really hard being at Damian’s party without you girl, I got to meet Michael’s fiancé, and she seems really nice. Oh who am I kidding I want to poke her eyes out. She’s not even his type, I know I have no right to hold any opinion on who Michael dates but he doesn’t belong with her. Liz I wish you could give me some advice here. I mean just before I was crying to Michael and he wrapped his arms around me and I realized how much I missed him. I screwed up Liz and you told me along with Max, you guys were right and now it’s too late to do anything about it. He’s going to get married and it won’t be to me.

“God! I know it’s stupid to even be thinking about this, I mean we haven’t been together in four years, he probably doesn’t even think about me like that anymore. I wish he did but I ruined it that day I left and told him that he wasn’t more important than my career. What a fucking joke, I was so naïve. I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life walking away from him.

“How did you do it Liz? How did you walk away from Max? I know you never told me that you loved him, but I’m not blind. I know you loved him more than anything in this world… he was everything to you. I just don’t understand why you did what you did.”

I remember the day Liz told me what happened between her and Max last year after Damian’s birthday party.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Liz are you crazy? Tell Max how you feel, don’t let him leave like this Liz. Don’t repeat the mistakes I did.”

“No Maria, I will not tell him anything. I don’t love him like that, he’s my best friend that’s it.”

“Bullshit Liz! I know you care about Max and god, Liz! He worships the ground you walk on! How can you just turn around and let him walk away?”

“Bullshit? Maria, he’s giving me an ultimatum, either I move with him to California or he’s not even going to be friends with me. That’s bullshit, who the hell does he think he is? I mean I just can’t move out there with him, we’re not even together…I’m with…”

“Jordan? Liz he’s been cheating on you for a year! A year! He doesn’t give a shit about you Liz, and you know that. And besides don’t use Max’s words against him, he didn’t say that he was demanding that if you didn’t move to California that he would stop being your friend now did he?”

“No.”

“So what did he say then?”

“That he…loved me and wanted to be with me forever and that he can’t pretend anymore that just being friends was enough for him. That after all these years and everything we’ve been through he just can’t be friends with me. And then he asked me if I loved him back.”

“And what did you say?”

“I told him that I didn’t love him and that I was in love with Jordan and then…” She has tears streaming down her face.

“What Liz? What did you tell him?”

“That I was…pregnant with Jordan’s baby.”

“What?! Why would you do that, Liz you know that’s not even possible.”

“Because Maria, he would have continued to fight for me and he needed to move on. He needs to be with someone that’s honest and deserving of all the love he showers me with. I’ve never done anything to be given the kind of love he wants and gives to me.”

“Oh, so you think you’re not good enough? Is that it Liz? Please spare me the pity party here okay.”

“It’s not a pity party!”

“Yes Liz, sorry to burst your bubble but it is. What’s wrong with Max loving you? Why can’t you love him back? You say you’ve never done anything for him to love you the way he does, but did you ever think that’s not why he loves you? For just one minute did you take the time to realize that love shouldn’t be work Liz, it just is.” She’s completely broken now, she sinks to the floor on her knees and cries harder.

“Maria, just leave it alone I don’t want to talk about it anymore, please.” She pleads with me and I sit down next to her and rock her gently until her tears subside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That was the last time we talked about what happened before Max left until three months ago when she ended up on my balcony drunk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Liz what’s wrong? Are you drunk?”

“Yep Maria, drunk as a skunk…ha ha! I made a joke!” She stumbles ungracefully onto one of the lounge chairs on the balcony.

“Why? Who the hell brought you home?”

“Just a friend, no a very good friend!” She says and lays back on the chair and closes her eyes.

“What do you mean a very good friend?”

“Oh Maria, stop pretending like you don’t know what I mean.” She said exasperatedly.

“Liz, you didn’t sleep with him did you?”

“Bingo! Give the girl the door prize!”

“Oh Liz, why? How could you do that?”

“It’s easy Maria, when you don’t care it’s actually very easy.” I moved to kneel down next to her and I grab her hand.

“Liz babe, I’m worried about you.”

“Don’t be worried, no one worries about me Maria. You’re busy with your career; Max doesn’t even talk to me, Michael either. Nobody worries about what I do anymore Maria, so it’s okay.”

“No! It’s not okay, sleeping with strangers Liz, what if something happened. He didn’t take advantage of you did he?”

“No! Maria would you just calm down it was just sex, plain and simple now get over it, because I am.”

“Liz you’re drunk and when you wake up in the morning you are not going to be over it.”

“You know Maria, I don’t give a shit you know why?”

“No why?”

“Because it’s Max’s birthday and I can’t even be with him!” Fuck! How preoccupied could I be to not remember today was his birthday? I should have known she was going to take it hard.

“I’m sor…”

“Don’t say it! You didn’t remember and it’s okay, I’m used to it so don’t feel sorry for me.” I didn’t know what to say, I feel like such a heel. I should have gone with her when she asked.

“You know Max and I used to celebrate both our birthdays?” She had a far off distant look when she spoke, like she was remembering.

“For mine he would take me to the desert and he always had like a picnic or something special and that’s when he would give me his present. I won’t be getting one this year though. I wonder where he is tonight, if he’s thinking about me. Or is he with someone else, does he love them now? Did he forget about me?”

“No Liz, Max could never forget about you.” She doesn’t hear me though, she continues on.

“I really messed up Maria. I miss him so much and it hurts so bad. I feel like I can’t breathe without him.” I lean forward and wrap my arms around her, at first she doesn’t respond but after a minute she raises her arms and wraps them around me.

“Liz, just call him I know he misses you and wants to talk to you.”

“No, Maria it’s better this way!”

“What? No Liz you’re not thinking straight.”

”It’s better this way Maria, I can’t get back in his life, I’ll just ruin it the way I did last time.”

“Not if you tell him the truth Liz. Why don’t you want to be with him?”

“Maria, I can’t be with Max. I’ll just fuck it up. I messed up our friendship I complicated things with him I shouldn’t have but I did. I knew what I was doing was wrong that I was leading him on and that I never had any intention of moving forward with him. I couldn’t help it though.” She leans back and looks me in the eyes.

“Don’t you get it Maria, it was easier for me to live the life I lived with Jordan than to be with Max. I would have ruined it sooner or later, I was just not ready to be in love or to love him the way he needed.” She rises from the chair and without looking at me or saying another word she enters the bedroom window and crawls into the bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I promise you Liz that if you wake up, I’m going to be the friend I should have been to you before. I have to go now but …”

Wait! That was a little over three months ago when she slept with that guy so…Oh my God!

The baby wasn’t Jordan’s.

I have to call Max.

“Oh Liz, what did you do? I’ll be back, please forgive me but I have to tell Max what I know. I love you. Bye.”

I made it out of the hospital and got into the cab I had called for earlier. I need to get to my hotel and pick up my belongings and head for the airport. I take out my cell phone to make a very important phone call.


TBC...