Roswell Fanatics

Author's Note: Hey everyone! I'm posting two parts tonight, because Part 11 is pretty short. Enjoy!

For those reading Born of the Stars, there will likely be a new part up tonight. If not tonight, then definately tomorrow. It's 3/4 done.

Kath

Part 11 - Another Time, Another Life - Section B

Late February - Las Vegas, Nevada

"Oh my God! Max! Someone’s coming!" Liz gasped against his lips, turning her head so abruptly, she heard him sputter when he got a mouthful of hair. She tried not to laugh when he tickled her lightly on the ribs in punishment. This resulted in a muffled scream, half-snort.

But she was right. She could hear voices, and knew that if they didn’t stop it immediately, they were going to be caught and the jig would be up. Everyone would know, which meant that Tess would know, and it was still unclear what that would mean.

"Shh!" Liz felt Max bring his forehead down to rest against hers. She could still hear him breathing heavily, could feel his heart beating rapidly against her chest. They were so close, she actually felt her own slow down, starting to beat in time with his. Liz pinched him, since he was the one who had almost made her shriek. She felt him trying desperately not to laugh.

They were both so tense, it almost made Liz start to giggle hysterically too. As though he could feel it, Max cupped her head gently and rested her cheek against his chest, stroking her hair in an attempt to calm her down.

Liz knew it had been a mistake to allowed Max to pull her into the bathroom of the hotel room they were sharing with all their friends, but it had been too hard to say no. Everyone had been down in the casino anyway. Besides, since they arrived in Las Vegas to spend the money Michael had inherited, he had been all she was thinking of.

Totally alone. No parents anywhere. There was no question that "cementing," as Future Max had dubbed it, was definitely on her mind.

It had been so long since they had had a moment alone. The entire Laurie Dupree affair, which almost resulted in the end of the world, made it so that there was barely a minute to spare, let alone time to revel in the fact that they were back together and were more deliriously happy than either of them had ever been in their entire life.

They had actually been discussing whether maybe it was time to tell everyone the truth when they were distracted by their close proximity to each other in such a small space. After all, Tess and Kyle were closer than ever. Liz had even begun to bond with the other girl a little during the time they were trying to dig Alex and Kyle out of the ground. Both Max and Liz were almost positive that Tess had no intention of leaving Roswell, and since she had been anything but aggressive with Max since their return from New York, Liz had even started to hope that perhaps she had given up - that maybe she was falling love with Kyle, and had no intention of being with Max, ever.

Yet, they were still waiting, stealing moments together here and there, both craving more, but knowing that caution was the better part of valour. The chance to actually be together was too precious to jeopardize by revealing it too soon.

This was why Liz was currently straining her ears to hear who had come into their suite. If it was Maria, Alex, or even Michael or Isabel, the danger was not great. They might be able to brazen out the fact that they were up here alone together. Liz was almost positive that Maria knew they were back together anyway - she had practically orchestrated it herself after all. Liz didn’t doubt that she had maybe spilled some information to Michael or Alex too. She knew her best friend. She could keep a secret when it really counted, like the Future Max one, but she was likely too happy contemplating the possibility that Max and Liz were reunited not to at least speculate about it with either her boyfriend or her other best friend.

But if it was Tess or Kyle…Well, that didn’t bear thinking about. The proverbial cat would be out of the proverbial bag in that instance. And they still weren’t sure that Tess was ready for it. Keeping her in Roswell at all costs - it was what Liz had given Max up for in the first place. It was the reason she had been willing to hurt him so badly. They could not risk it.

"I think it’s Tess," Liz heard Max whisper against her hair. "I can feel her presence." That comment sent a shiver down Liz’s spine. Max felt it, and tightened his arms around her. "Through the Four Square," he added, trying to reassure her.

But Liz did not have time to reflect on why this upset her so. She had recognized the other voice. It was Alex.

"Why are Alex and Tess up here together?" Liz murmured. She felt Max shrug.

"I don’t care, as long as they leave." Liz heard a door shut, the voices disappearing.

"I think they went into one of the rooms." Liz frowned slightly. "What’s going on?"

"I’m sure it’s nothing," Max replied. Liz felt him moving away from her, towards the door. The bathroom was in complete darkness, no lights having been necessary for what they had been up to in here. Liz watched as light filtered into the small room when Max opened the door, poking his head out. "No one." He turned back, shutting the door again.

Liz frowned to herself. "Max, we need to get out of here," she whispered urgently, moving towards the door.

"Liz, I want to tell her the truth," he told her firmly, refusing to move out of the way. "She has to accept this someday. I want it to start now." Liz could tell by the tone of his voice that he no longer found this scenario amusing. In fact, she could hear an underlying frustration that had been building between them for a couple of weeks now.

Liz sighed heavily. "We can’t. Not yet. Not until I feel sure." The panic she had felt at the thought of being caught - it had only reinforced to her that it was not yet time.

"Liz…"

"Max, you promised me that we would do this when I felt ready. You don’t know what Future Max told me would happen." She regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth.

There was a long pause. Liz wished that they had turned the lights on. She didn’t like the fact that she couldn’t see his face. She knew that he was still angry about the fact that the future version of himself had come back in time, telling her that she needed to make him fall out of love with her. She hadn’t told him the whole story though. He had been so angry at himself over the whole situation, even though he, of course, had nothing to do with it, she had only told him that they needed to keep Tess in Roswell at all costs -even at the cost of their own happiness.

"Are you ever going to tell me?" he finally asked quietly.

"I can’t. Max, he almost couldn’t tell me. It screws up the timeline too much to know. The only reason he finally told me was because I wasn’t going to help him." She felt herself tensing up when he didn’t reply for a long time again.

"This is coming between us, Liz," Max said. "I don’t want anything to come between us."

"I don’t either," Liz replied. "You know that. But I can’t tell you!"

"You might not want it to," Max told her. "But you’re letting it." There was another long pause. "I haven’t had one single flash from you since we’ve been back together."

The night they got back together, she had told him only half the truth. After she thought about it, it had seemed like the wisest course of action. Future Max had warned her that this was a "different world," but he had also told her that telling too much could seriously affect future events. The fact that she had gotten back together with Max at all was a big enough risk.

And, still, Liz felt like she had been punched in the gut. Max sounded so hurt, all she wanted to do was throw her arms around him and comfort him. Because she knew it was true. She had not allowed him to see into her soul at all, afraid that he would find out the truth about Future Max. And he couldn’t know. He couldn’t know that they had been responsible for Michael and Isabel’s deaths, and for the end of the world.

She was afraid of how he might react, afraid how he would feel. She knew him. His guilt might cause him to do the one thing she dreaded more than any other. He might actually decide that he had to pursue his destiny with Tess.

She knew it was selfish, knew that it was completely against everything her nature was telling her to do, but she couldn’t give him up again. She just could not do it.

And so she kept it from him, trying to determine Tess’s state of mind on her own, trying to figure out if the right moment had come.

The irony was, she was losing Max anyway.

She knew this as she watched him open the bathroom door. He had been waiting for her to say something, anything, to fix the rift that was beginning to open between them. When she didn’t, he left, without another word.

Liz knew that he would be back. He couldn’t stay away from her after all. But this time, something had irrevocably changed.

A shiver descended her backbone. She wondered why she felt like she had just made the second biggest mistake of her life.

Part 12 - Mercy - Max POV

Mercy…
Pure and simple.
Longing…
Cold and hollow.
With sweet breath you’d come to warm me.
But I held on too hard to only a memory.

You lie there on the swollen ground.
Deserted in your heart.
Still longing for what yesterday’s lost,
And for all that tomorrow might bring,
And for all that tomorrow might bring.

The passion lost,
Taken, stolen.
The dreams we had and shared,
Shattered, broken.
With kind words you’d come to soothe me,
But I was so blind,
Would send you away from me.

There’s no hope in regretting now
All the pain that we could not see.
We both knew what we wanted,
And we took it believing it free,
And we took it believing it free.

Sarah McLachlan

"Max! Snap out of it! Max, what’s wrong?"

I can hear my sister screaming right in my ear, but my eyes seem completely incapable of opening. I hear someone groan, then realize it is me.

"Stop yelling, Isabel!" I practically have to physically pry open my eyes. I lift my hands up near my temples, trying to massage away the massive headache that is presently pounding away. I feel for the tension in my head, gradually heal it so that I can converse without feeling like I did when Nicholas tried to get the location of the granolith out of me last fall.

"What the hell happened?" I manage to focus on my sister’s face. She has gone completely white.

And suddenly it all comes flooding back. Sean Deluca! He did something to me, used some sort of alien power to knock me out. Which means that Sean Deluca is not at all who we thought he was.

"Sean," I say, feeling the rage beginning to build within me. "Where did he go?"

Isabel blinks, then looks at me like I am insane. "Max, what are you talking about? Sean? I haven’t seen Sean for days." She says this, obviously forgetting she saw him just this morning at the Crashdown. Not that it matters. The point is, she didn’t see him now

I stare at her. "Isabel, he was just here. He knocked me out!"

"Max, there was no one here. One minute you were staring out the front windshield with this weird look on your face, the next you had completely passed out!" Isabel insists. "There was no one here."

What the hell is going on around here?

"Are you sure?" I demand, although I know she is. She simply nods.

Sean Deluca was never here. But I know he was.

I suddenly have a very sinking suspicion that I have managed to uncover the mysterious Lazar - and without even trying.

And the one thing this fact is telling me is that Liz is in even more danger than I even could have possibly comprehended five minutes ago. "Get in," I order my sister. "We need to get to the pod chamber. Now."

Isabel doesn’t argue, although she is clearly still totally freaked out. "I should drive," she insists, grabbing the keys out of my hand.

I don’t argue.

***

We call the others on the drive. I tell Michael and the sheriff to avoid Sean Deluca at all costs, and to meet us at the pod chamber as soon as possible. I tell Michael why when he demands to know. I hear Isabel gasping in the seat beside me as she listens to the story.

"How the hell can Maria’s cousin be an alien?" Michael yells. He sounds absolutely terrified. I don’t blame him. I am frantically trying to figure out if Sean has possibly hurt Liz in any way in all the time he has spent with her. Sean lived in Maria’s house for God’s sake. I think Michael has the right to freak out.

"I don’t think he’s Maria’s cousin," I reply tersely.

"Mind-warp?" Michael demands incredulously. "Maxwell, how the hell can Tess be doing this? There is no way that chick can be this powerful."

"I don’t think it’s Tess. I think he’s doing it."

"Is he Khivar?" Michael asks. I can hear the fear in his voice.

"Maybe," I say. "We’ll discuss it when we’re all together."

Isabel and I drive in silence for several more minutes after Michael has hung up. I can practically feel my sister’s terror, not only in the air, but through the bond that we share through the Four Square.

"What’s wrong, Iz?" I finally ask.

She doesn’t reply for a long time and then whispers, "Is he Khivar?"

"I don’t know." Because I don’t, but I am beginning to suspect that he probably is. The way I felt when he touched me… He had done that to me before.

Because the memories are starting to pour back. They have been ever since I regained consciousness. "Isabel…" I trail off, don’t know if I should tell her this. I still haven’t fully accepted it myself, but I think maybe she needs to know. She needs to prepare herself for what might be coming. "I think I remember dying."

There is another long silence. "Tell me." She sounds like she really doesn’t want to know, but needs to.

Sort of like I need to get to Liz. Every fibre of my being is screaming, won’t stop screaming, until I have found her. I know it, embrace it. It is giving me the strength to deal with what I saw.

"His power…" I pause, searching my mind, trying to get a grasp on what I saw when Sean Deluca did what he did to me. I am trying to stay unemotional, detached from the memory, but it is difficult. It is not a pleasant experience to relive your own death after all. I don’t think you can blame me for it. "I think he burned me up from inside. I remember flames."

"Oh my God." I can feel the car slowing down.

"Isabel! Go!" I insist. "Drive. We need to get there."

"Max." She pays no attention to me, pulls off the highway and turns to stare at me. "Did you see me?"

And I know exactly what she is thinking. Was she there when he killed me? Did she actually watch her lover murder her own brother, her king?

I consider not telling her, but I don’t think lies are any sort of help, ever. Lies were what brought us to this point after all. Lies about who we were, are. Lies about who we were supposed to be, would have been, if the future version of myself hadn’t interfered.

"You were there."

"Oh my God," she moans. Her face is in her hands. "Then it’s true. I betrayed you. I let him kill you!"

I am still detached, but I do want to comfort her. "Not you, Iz. Her. Vilandra. She’s not you." I reach out, squeeze her shoulder lightly. "Isabel, I need you to be strong."

She looks up at me, her face drenched with tears. "Max, I am so sorry."

"Don’t be sorry," I snap. "Be Isabel. I need my sister. You have to help me fix whatever it is he’s trying to do. You need to help me save Liz."

Isabel’s eyes are gazing past me. I wonder if she is trying to remember a life that no longer exists, a person she once was. But I know that she can’t. I know that I don’t want her to.

Memories of what came before have only ever caused us grief after all. Memories of Tess led me to make the biggest mistake of my life, led me to betray Liz, led me to almost condemn my sister and my best friend to their destruction.

But the memory of what Khivar did to me… It is a good thing I realize. It has made me cold, determined, absolutely convinced that he is not going to win again. He is not going to hurt Liz.

Because he knows that all he has to do to defeat me this time is hurt her.

"Isabel." She looks at me again, her eyes pleading with me to say something to make her feel better. "You need to help me. You are possibly the only person he might listen to." I place my hands on both of her shoulders, shake her a bit. "I need my sister."

I feel her spine straighten under my hands. "I won’t fail you this time, Max. I promise."

"Then he has already lost," I tell her with certainty. And I know I’m right. Now we just need to prove it.

***

The others are waiting at the pod chamber when we pull up. Kyle is leaning against his Mustang, trying not to look like he’s scared. The sheriff is on his phone, talking to Maria’s mom I realize. I can hear him asking questions about Sean.

Michael is standing with Maria, his arm around her. She looks like she’s been crying, but her eyes are dry now.

Maria shrugs away from Michael, and walks over to me as I climb out of my parent’s car. "Max, I don’t have a cousin Sean." She swallows. "When Michael told me what happened…" She trails off, glancing at Isabel who has come up behind me. "I suddenly just knew that he wasn’t my cousin."

"I know." I shake my head, guilty that someone that she loved, even in the hostile way she loved Sean, was a figment of her imagination, and it is a consequence of the fact that she knows us. "I’m sorry."

Maria narrows her eyes. "I am going to kick his ass when I get my hands on him," she replies, sounding more like the Maria we all know and love.

"There’s no sign of Liz or Tess anywhere, Maxwell." Michael speaks up. He gestures up towards where the pod chamber used to be. "There’s no way they’re up there. Are you sure this is the right place?"

I stare up at the hole in the side of the cliff. "I’m sure," I say. "She’s here." But the fact that I still can’t feel her… Maybe I misread what Liz was trying to tell me in the vision.

And it’s then that I see it. "Oh my God."

I pass Maria as she wrenches around to look at what I’m staring at.

"Max, what is it?" Isabel demands, following close behind me.

But I am already scaling the side of the cliff, half-way up before I can even attempt to reach for it.

Then it’s in my hand. I hold it away from me, and stare at it, catching the moonlight in one of its facets.

And, finally, I understand the mistake we have made, understand that maybe I didn’t make as big a mess as I thought I did when I sent Tess off a couple of days ago.

Because, in my hand, I have the crystal that I used to start the ship that carried her off with my son. It is still on Earth. And I know why too.

So maybe memories aren’t such a bad thing after all.

Because I know, with absolute certainty, that, in my hand, I am holding the granolith.

Part 13 - Another Time, Another Life - Section C

April 2001 - Roswell, New Mexico

Liz glanced at the clock, wondering where Max was. They had agreed quietly right before Max resolved that whole business with Brody at the UFO Museum that he would meet her on her balcony at the usual time. The whole hostage incident had reinforced to Liz, and she assumed to Max, how fragile Max’s secret was, how careful they still had to be. All she wanted to do was see him, hold him, wrap herself up in his presence, remind herself that they were both still alive, and safe, now that Tess had erased Brody’s memory.

But Max was late. Really late actually.

Things had mostly gone back to normal since they their fight in Las Vegas about telling Tess the truth. This, of course, was after Max went gambling with Michael and they both ended up behind bars. After Maria bailed them out of jail, Max had decided to go home on the next plane. No one else knew it wasn’t only because of the fight he had with Michael, but also because he was still absolutely furious with Liz. When he found her in the games room playing pinball with Tess - strange enough in itself, Liz acknowledged, but her attempt to see if maybe she could tell Tess the truth - she was able to tell that it took all of his willpower not to drag both girls somewhere private to get everything out into the open. He refrained though and had simply left, leaving Liz sure that things were going steadily downhill between them.

And, so, she was shocked and relieved when Max came back. Maria had arranged for a dinner for the whole group at a private club, and Liz was sitting alone at the table, watching Kyle and Tess dance together, smiling and laughing, wondering if maybe Max was right - if maybe they were safe, that Tess would not leave, that they could tell everyone the truth - when he was suddenly there and was pulling her out onto the dance floor. He had still been in a very strange mood though, telling her about a flash he had on his way to the airport - of the two of them getting married in Vegas. Liz felt her heart drop to her stomach. She was on the verge of telling him that he had seen a vision of what was supposed to be, but the moment had passed when he pulled her closer, whispered an apology into her hair, telling her that he loved her and that he trusted her.

So, things returned to normal - if you could call sneaking around normal. Max did bring up the subject of telling Tess the truth again. In fact, he and Tess had been hanging out more often lately. He told Liz that he was doing his best to get a read on her, to figure out what was going on with her and Kyle. Liz guessed that this was why Tess had been caught up in Brody’s hostage situation - she was visiting Max at work when the whole thing went down.

Liz was doing her best not to be jealous about the time her boyfriend was spending with his past-life wife. She knew, without reservation, that it was her Max loved. Even if she was resisting giving him flashes, he was as open with her as always. She knew from seeing into his soul that he had no doubts about who he loved. But that horrible feeling she had experienced in Las Vegas - that he was slipping slowly beyond her reach with each passing day, with each day she kept the truth of the Future Max situation hidden from him - would not go away.

Which was why she was freaking out that he was late for their rendezvous. It was completely unlike him.

And so it was a great relief to hear Max’s familiar voice calling up from the alley below her balcony. Better late than never! "Liz? Are you there?"

She tried to control the beaming smile that broke out across her face, but then gave up. If she couldn’t show him with flashes how much she adored him, then she would show him in every other way possible. She looked over into the alley. "Hey! Come on up!"

It wasn’t until Max spoke again that she realized how tense he looked down there, staring up at her. "Um, I can’t. My parents are freaking out about what happened at the Museum." He looked down. "I just came to tell you that I have to go home."

Liz felt her heart drop in disappointment. "Oh. Okay." She smiled again. "You can’t even come up for a minute?" she asked flirtatiously.

"I better not." Liz frowned. Max sounded distinctly weird to her.

"Is everything okay, Max?"

"Fine." He said it so abruptly, she knew he was lying.

"Max?"

"Really, Liz," he said more calmly. "Everything’s fine. I’m just really tired." He paused. "Listen, can I make this up to you?" Liz could see him relaxing slightly. He was moving towards the ladder, as though he had decided to climb up after all. He stopped before he reached it, forcing himself to tilt his head all the way back to stare up at her. Now that he was closer, Liz could see the shuttered expression on his face.

"You don’t have to," Liz said, a feeling of dread beginning to come over her. Something was really wrong here. "I understand."

"I want to," Max insisted emphatically. For the first time since he had arrived, he smiled up at her. "You do know what Saturday is, do you not, Miss Parker?"

Liz shrugged. "I have no idea," she replied, mystified.

"Liz, I’m shocked," Max teased. "Where are your priorities? You’re the girl. You’re supposed to know these things, not me. It’s the prom, of course."

Liz blinked. She had totally forgotten about the prom. Since she had no intention of going with anyone but Max, and since it seemed unlikely that they would be able to go together due to the continued quest to keep their renewed relationship a secret, it hadn’t even occurred to her to consider going anyway. "Oh. Yeah. I’d forgotten."

"Well, I happen to be the bearer of the news that one Tess Harding has a date for the big event," Max told her. He had started to climb the ladder now, after all, and was only two rungs below her. He was smiling, but as Liz gazed down at him, instead of feeling pleased, she felt a shiver descend her backbone. Because she was looking directly into Max’s eyes, and the tension there in no way matched the playful tone of his voice.

His eyes - there was something dark in there, hidden. And if Liz was not mistaken - it was fear.

Something hadhappened and it was completely apparent that he had no intention of telling her what it was.

And she suddenly understood how it felt to be Max, how it felt to have her shutting him out from a part of her life. Not for the first time, all she wanted to do was blurt out the whole story immediately.

But it was too late. He was still talking, still pretending nothing was wrong. "Kyle asked her apparently." Liz did not miss the raised eyebrow that seemed to be saying See? We’re safe. We can tell her the truth.

"Oh?" Liz replied, just as casually, pretending that this was nothing more than flirtatious banter prior to the question she knew was coming.

She saw Max’s expression darken slightly, but so quickly, she wondered if she imagined it. "So?" he asked, the undertones betraying that he was asking about much more than the prom.

"Yes," Liz whispered, reaching down and running her hand down his face. She felt it tighten under her touch.

Max swallowed, then forced another smile. "Great. I think we should lay low until then though, Liz," he said as he backed his way down the ladder again. "Just in case. That way she’ll think we’re going just as friends."

"Okay."

"I’ll see you at school tomorrow."

He was walking away before Liz realized that he hadn’t kissed her good-bye.

***

The day of the prom dawned bright and sunny, which in no way matched Liz’s mood. Maria was still sound asleep on the pillow beside her. She had slept over the night before because they were going to the hairdresser and to get their nails done early, and it had just seemed easier.

Of course, it had also been because it was time for an emergency gab session. Maria flat out admitted to Liz on Wednesday, after she found out that Liz and Max were going to the prom together, that everyone knew they were back together.

Liz had stared at her best friend in horror, her heart beating a terrible tattoo of doom against her rib-cage. "Everyone?" she whispered, feeling like she was about to pass out. Despite all the attempts she had made to be honest with Max, to accept that Tess was ready for the truth, the idea that Tess might actually know already… The terror she was suddenly experiencing more than confirmed to her that it was not yet time.

Tess could not know.

"Well, everyone that matters." Maria waved her hand in the air dismissively. "Me, Michael, Isabel, and Alex. Who cares about anyone else?"

"Does Tess know?" Liz demanded, wanting to shake Maria for treating the whole thing so cavalierly.

"I swear she doesn’t, Lizzie," Maria insisted. "Michael and Isabel have been keeping a close eye on the situation. I told them enough to make them understand that she has to stay in Roswell."

"How long has everyone known?" Liz asked, trying to decide what this meant for the weird way Max was behaving. Were Michael and Isabel trying to convince him that he had to break it off with her, that keeping Tess around was more important than any earthly girlfriend? Is that why he looked so scared on Monday? Because he had started to realize that they were right, and that he was going to have to break up with her?

But then why did he have invite her to the prom? It didn’t make any sense. No, something else was going on with Max, and she still had no idea what. She had not really spoken to him since the night at her balcony, although she had seen him at school of course. Even that had been weird though. He made absolutely no attempt to touch her or talk to her privately, as he had all the time since January.

The fear that she was losing him…It was growing stronger with every passing day. And, yet, she still knew that she could not tell him the truth. She didn’t know where this irrational terror came from, but she knew it went far beyond the fear that she was going to lose Max if he knew that their relationship had resulted in Michael and Isabel’s deaths.

No this was something different. Like there was an outside force controlling her.

But it was ridiculous, of course. No one knew the whole story except Maria, and she was the person Liz trusted most in the world, after Max. Not that Max was making it easy to trust him lately.

So she and Maria had stayed up late the night before, dissecting the whole situation. And it was an argument Maria made that finally convinced Liz that it was time to tell Max the whole truth.

"Liz, you love him. You can’t stay away from him, but this isn’t you. You know it isn’t. Not telling Max the truth, because you’re scared you’re going to lose him?" Maria sounded absolutely flabbergasted. "He’ll never leave you, Liz. You have to see that. If you tell him, you can come up with a solution together, even if it’s full-time bodyguards for Spaceboy and Queen Amidala fourteen years from now."

Liz had been shocked by what appeared to be Maria’s callous attitude towards Michael and Isabel’s impending doom. "Maria, I would have though that you of all people would have wanted me to do anything to protect Michael!" she exclaimed.

Maria rolled her eyes. "I’m bound to kill him myself long before then, Liz." When Liz gasped, Maria took her by the hand and said seriously, "Liz, of course I’m scared. But we can’t live our lives in fear. Future Max told you the truth. This is a new world. There is absolutely no way we can be sure that Michael and Isabel aren’t still going to die, even in a different way." Maria sighed heavily. "Someone else might die. We can’t know." She squeezed Liz’s hand lightly. "You have to tell Max, so that he can be as prepared as possible. It’s not fair to him, Liz. You’re not trusting in his love for you. How can you, of all people, not know that he’ll never leave you? If he didn’t after the whole destiny thing, he won’t - ever."

And Liz knew that Maria was right. Which was why, tonight, she was going to tell Max everything.

She had asked Max to pick her up early. She knew that he had planned a romantic dinner at Chez Pierre, although secretly she would have preferred Senor Chow’s, which had so many wonderful memories, but she wanted to go somewhere private with him first, to tell him everything so that there would be nothing standing between them anymore.

And if he left her - well, so be it. She was tired of being a coward.

Of course, this was easier said than done. When she got her first glimpse of Max in his tux, hours later, she questioned her decision. How could she risk losing him?

He was walking towards her, his eyes glowing as he gazed at her in her wine-coloured dress, which she had accentuated with a necklace that had belonged to her grandmother. She felt like he was practically worshipping her with his eyes. It sent a shiver of desire coursing down her spine, one that was not helped by the fact that she had actually never seen him looking as gorgeous, and that was, of course, saying a lot.

For a long, charged moment, as their eyes met, the world was devoid of everyone else but the two of them. Liz knew that she could no longer lie to him. And she knew from the expression on his face that he felt the same way. Whatever was bothering him…She had a feeling she was going to know all about it before the night was through.

"Can we go somewhere?" Liz whispered, not taking her eyes from his. Max simply nodded, taking her by the hand and leading her out the door.

They sat in comfortable silence on the drive. Liz knew exactly where he was taking her - the radio tower near the crash site. She didn’t know how she knew. She just did. It was like this whole night had played out a million times before, like she had lived it all. Perhaps she had, in another life. Was this timeline beginning to meld with the timeline Future Max had erased when he arrived? Were she and Max simply rebuilding the horrible future that was to come - the one where Michael and Isabel were dead and the world ended?

Liz felt a frisson of fear, but tried to ignore it. She had to tell him. There was no turning back now, no time for doubts. Maria was right. She couldn’t live her life based on fears of what might happen. Not any more.

As they pulled up to the place where they had found the orb that first brought Tess Harding into their lives, Liz sat quietly for a moment after Max turned off the ignition, staring at the scene spread out before her.

The sun was just beginning to set on the horizon, but it didn’t matter. There were several torches lighting up the area, throwing shadows across the blanket that was spread out on the ground, an elaborate picnic just sitting there waiting for them. Liz turned to look at Max. He was watching her, his eyes glowing. "Are you ready for the best night of your life, Miss Parker?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her, and picking up her hand at the same time, bringing the palm to his lips.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?" Liz blurted out, unable to stop herself. Max’s eyes narrowed slightly, almost smoldering.

"Probably about as much as I love you," he replied. "Which is why I’ve decided that tonight marks a new beginning for us."

"You have?" Liz asked breathlessly. "Max, I’m so glad you feel that way, because I think it’s time…"

"Liz, I have a confession to make." Max cut her off, apparently not even having heard her. "I’ve wanted to tell you since it happened, but I didn’t quite know what to say. I thought you might take it the wrong way and so I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out a way to say it without it all coming out wrong and screwing everything up between us." He was staring at her, his tone pleading. "Do you know what I mean?"

"I think I have an idea," Liz replied wryly. "Okay. Just tell me. I promise that it won’t screw everything up." She smiled despite the nerves that his statement had caused to start jumping in her stomach. As though she wasn’t nervous enough!

"I remember Tess." He said it abruptly, like if he didn’t say it quickly, he wouldn’t be able to get it out. "From before I mean. I remember loving her."

For a moment Liz felt as though she had been slapped. All of her fears, since the first moment Tess arrived on the scene, came flooding back. She was going to lose him! Not because of any of her own actions, after all, but because of an alien destiny over which they had absolutely no control.

But when she looked up into Max’s anxious face, all her fear dissolved so suddenly, it was as though they had never existed. She knew he loved her. She had always known it. This would not come between them. She would not allow it to, and she knew with utter certainty that neither would he.

"Liz? Are you okay? Say something! Please." She realized that she had been sitting in, what had likely seemed like, stunned silence for close to two minutes. "I don’t care! Really! It doesn’t mean anything. I’m actually surprised by how little it means. I mean, it’s nice - but it’s sort of like feelings for an ex-girlfriend, you know? Like maybe how you feel about Kyle? An old affection that used to matter, that you still sort of hold onto, but don’t really care about." Max snapped his mouth shut suddenly. "I’m babbling. I’m sorry." He was still staring at her in concern. "Are you okay?" he repeated again, bemused.

"Yes," she smiled affectionately at him. "I’m glad you told me. I understand."

"I just want you to get that this is what’s been on my mind all week," Max continued, his breath having come out in a great woosh of relief. "It’s why I didn’t kiss you on Monday. I didn’t want you getting flashes before I could tell you myself." He paused. "Unlike you, I can’t control myself around you. I can’t just shut them off." Liz could tell that he was trying to mask the underlying tone of bitterness that accompanied that last statement. He was still very much doing his best not to pressure her into telling him the truth.

Liz brought her hands up to cup his beloved face. "Thank you for that. And I know exactly what you were going through." She closed her eyes briefly, taking a deep breath. "And I am so sorry that I’ve shut you out. I was scared, Max, but you’re not the only one who wants a fresh start tonight."

And, with that, she pulled his face down to hers, pressing a light kiss to his lips. "See me, Max." She opened her mouth for him, felt his hands come up to cradle her skull. She threw all of her love for him into the kiss, concentrated on opening her whole soul to him, concentrated on showing him everything that had been standing between them for so long.

The flashes she received from him emphasized the fear he had been living with all week - the fear that she would not understand, that she would leave him because of Tess. She saw the memory of his love for Tess, embraced it, because immediately following it came a calm acceptance that it was over, and was nothing compared to what he felt for her, Liz. His love for her, under any circumstances, blazed through his entire being, everything that was Max, settling peacefully over her, reinforcing to her that she was doing the right thing.

It seemed like far too soon when Max broke the kiss with a gasp, bringing his forehead down to rest against hers. "Liz!"

"I’m so sorry, Max." Liz felt tears of regret filling her eyes. "I’m so sorry I didn’t trust you with the truth."

"How could you think that I would ever leave you?" Max demanded, lightly rubbing his thumbs across her cheeks to catch her tears. "I will never leave you for her. Never." He drew her deeper into his embrace, pressing her cheek against his neck. "And we’ll make sure that everyone stays safe, I promise."

"I know it. I trust you, Max," Liz replied, almost choking on a sob of relief.

"Liz, don’t trust me," Max said seriously, still only a breath away from her lips. "Trust in us. Because together we are strong. I can’t be strong without you."

Liz smiled through her tears. "I love you, Max." And, suddenly, she knew with utter certainty that it was time to finally show him just how much she loved him. "I want to be with you, Max."

Max blinked, then pulled back slightly. "Liz, that’s not why I brought you out here!" he exclaimed, sounding horrified that she might think it was.

She kissed him lightly. "I know. But it’s time." She felt her heart lightening with the complete rightness of the moment. She glanced at her watch jokingly. "I know that, traditionally, we’re supposed to wait until after the prom, but, by my calculations, we’re already about seven months behind schedule."

Max’s eyelids were lowering though. He was clearly no longer listening to her. She could see that his eyes were glued to her mouth. She couldn’t help herself. She darted her tongue out, and licked her lips to wet them. His eyes practically bugged out of his head.

She could see that he had tensed up considerably. She waited impatiently for him to kiss her. She didn’t want to make the first move now. She had flat-out told him what she wanted. If he didn’t, well then he was going to have to tell her. The next move was his.

Liz felt her heart drop to her toes when Max suddenly let go of her, and climbed out of the Jeep. Was he going to turn her down? She felt her cheeks beginning to flame with embarrassment, but it was nothing next to the deep disappointment that was building within her.

But she should have know better. Max was simply walking around the Jeep. In fact, he had not taken his eyes off of her. She turned, watching him through the windshield as he moved around to her side. He took her by the hand and pulled her to her feet beside him. "Are you sure about this, Liz?" he asked, his eyes practically burning a hole in her, they were so hot with desire.

"As sure as I am that I will love you until my dying day," she replied quietly.

He groaned, then swept her up in his arms and carried to the blanket near the spot where they had first spent the night sleeping in each other’s arms.

That morning, more than a year before, when Liz woke up in Max’s arms, she knew that this was how she wanted to wake up every morning, wrapped in his love for her.

But, as they were swept away in a tidal wave of pent-up love and lust, Liz’s last coherent thought was that what happened before they went to sleep was a million times better.

Author's Note: You may no longer wish that the show had gone this way after this part. Don't forget - in the end, I'm trying to make what happened ON the show more palatable. lol Which means that the other timeline has to end up worse. Ahem. It was fine trying to put Max and Liz through even more of an emotional wringer.

Don't worry though. Happy ending guaranteed!

Part 14 - I Will Remember You - Liz POV

I will remember you.
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by,
Weep not for the memory.

Remember the good times that we had,
Let them slip away from us when things got bad.
Clearly I first saw you, smiling in the sun,
Want to feel your warmth upon me
I wanna be the one.

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by,
Weep not for the memory.

I'm so tired, I can't sleep.
Standing on the edge of something much too deep.
It's funny how we feel so much
But cannot say the words
We are screaming inside but we can't be heard.

I will remember you.
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by,
Weep not for the memory.

So afraid to love you.
More afraid to lose.
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose.
Where once there was a darkness,
A deep and endless night,
You gave me everything you had,
Oh, you gave me life.

I will remember you.
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by,
Weep not for the memory.

Weep not for the memory.

Sarah McLachlan

I realize that I am crying as I become aware of my surroundings again. "How did you do that?" I ask Ava, still feeling Max’s hands on my body, his lips, his love still wrapping its warmth around me.

"The granolith did it," Ava replies, smiling sadly. She glances around. "We’re still in it you know."

I can see that she is right. We are gone from the desert, and seem to be standing in a field of stars. She is the only thing, other than me, that has any substance, any form.

"Why did we come back?" I ask, still with tears in my eyes, my voice cracking. All I want is to return to that moment - the moment that Max and I had cemented our relationship and, I was guessing here but it seemed logical, conceived our daughter. Serena. "How was I…there?"

Because I had been there. Living that other life - one where Max knew the truth so much earlier, where we were together, where he had never been with Tess.

And now I was back - back in the cold of my own reality. Back where Max and I could never be together. Because he belonged to her here.

"It’s the granolith," Ava explains. "The crystal. It has many uses - like when your Future Max came through a time portal for example." She pauses, frowning. "We just used it to place you into another you. So that you could know what went wrong."

I am so confused by what she is telling me, I just shake my head. "But…were you there too?"

"Not really," Ava replies. "I was here. To make sure that you didn’t get lost there."

I close my eyes briefly. "But I still don’t know what happened - how your timeline got messed up. I need to go back. Why did you bring me back before I knew?"

"I had to make sure that you weren’t getting too wrapped up in that life. It’s not your life Liz. You were only there to learn - not to live it," Ava tells me quietly, reaching out and putting her hand on my arm, as though in comfort.

Because she knows. She knows that I would give anything to have lived that life. I was getting lost there.

"It was so wonderful," I say sadly. "Why couldn’t it have happened that way in my life?"

Ava looks at me seriously. "Liz, there was something different. Something that you lived in your life that the Liz in that life didn’t. You have to remember what it was."

But I don’t. I am too caught up in the memory of Max - of knowing without any compunction that he loved me, that we were meant to be together.

So many experiences were similar, close to the same, but that all had a different vibe to them because Max and I were together. What had been scary in this life, had been muted in that life. As long as we were together, we could do anything.

I see that Ava has tensed, and looks frustrated. "You see why I had to pull you back, Liz. You were getting sidetracked, losing your focus. You weren’t learning what you needed to learn."

"Then I have to go back," I reply firmly. "I’ll find out this time. I swear."

But she does not look convinced. "Liz, it gets bad in that life too, you know," Ava tells me. "You need to get past all that romantic nonsense and think here. What - who - was different?"

"Well, Tess was definitely different." I shrug.

"No she wasn’t." Ava sighs. "Liz, everything that happened in your life, Tess was still doing behind the scenes in that life. It still turned out the same. Alex died. Don’t forget it’s why I joined up with Max, and Michael, and Isabel in the first place. It’s why I was sent back to fix things."

I frown, a horrible thought suddenly coming to me. "Does she still get pregnant?" I hold my breath, knowing that she is going to say no, because there is no way that she and Max could ever have been together that way in that life. He had promised me that he would never leave me for her.

"Yes." She says it brutally, so hard that it makes my knees weaken.

"No," I whisper. "It can’t have happened."

It could not be. There was no way. I had lived what happened between Max and me there. He would not have betrayed me that way.

"All I’ll say is that it happened exactly the same way in that life as it did in yours," Ava says, sounding more gentle now, like she regrets having to hurt me.

"But you said that something was different," I press. "What?"

"Not what. Who. Someone exists in your present life who did not exist there." Ava rolls her eyes. "Liz! Think! Are you so completely gaga over Max again that you can’t even remember?"

And it hits me so suddenly, I feel like a total fool. "Sean!" I exclaim.

"Yes, Sean." Ava shakes her head. "God. That must have been some mind-blowing sex you just had, because I’ve never known you to be so dense, in this life or that one."

I can feel my face reddening, but she is right. The feelings, the images of making love with Max…my soulmate, my other half. It was the first time I had ever felt complete in my entire life.

And it hadn’t really been me. I was never going to have that.

"Okay, what about Sean?" I bring my hands to my temples, trying to focus. "What difference did he really make, other than serving as a distraction?"

Ava shrugs. "He was enough of a distraction to make sure that you didn’t tell Max the truth soon enough."

"But…" I swallow, hard, force myself to say the words. "If Max and Tess still had a baby in that life, how can he have made that big a difference?"

"Did I say that Tess and Max had a baby?" she demands. "I said that Tess still got pregnant. I never said it was Max’s."

I am so stunned, I just stare at her for a moment. "But you said that everything that happened in this life, happened in that one too." She just raises an eyebrow, waiting for me to connect the dots. "Are you…" I feel my heart beginning to pound, hope beginning to build within me that there were still opportunities for miracles.

Maybe this life wasn’t so bleak after all.

"Are you saying that Max is not the father of Tess’s baby?" I blurt, still unable to comprehend that this could really be true.

"Bingo."

"Well, then who is?" I demand, my mind racing with the possibilities. "And how does everything get so screwed up in that life?"

Ava frowns. "I don’t know if I can tell you that, Liz. I think maybe you were right. You need to go see it for yourself. Because it wasn’t all sunshine and roses in that life you know."

But suddenly, I don’t want to go back. All I want to do is get out of the granolith. And I’m still unsure what being in the granolith really means. Are we inside the crystal, or did it help us to get inside somewhere else…or…Oh, who the hell knows? And who cares?

I want out. I want to find Max and I want to tell him the truth. I want to run into his arms and tell him that there is absolutely nothing standing between us being together, that he has no son, that the baby belongs to someone else.

But then it all comes crashing down again. I remember the flashes. I know that he had sex with her in our timeline at least. And I can’t get past it. I cannot relive those flashes every time I kiss him.

We still can’t be together.

And, so, if we can’t be together in this life, I will go back to where we can be.

I grasp Ava by the hand, squeeze pleadingly.

"Send me back."

***

Another Time, Another Life - Section D

"Liz! I need to talk to you!"

Liz smiled to herself as Maria practically attacked her when she and Max entered the gym a few hours later. It had taken all of their will-power to actually get there. Neither really wanted to leave the desert, to end the most significant event of either of their lives by returning to the real world, but they had knew that the others were waiting for them, and would be worried if they didn’t show up at the prom.

And, technically, they were still supposed to be pretending that they were "just friends." It was highly likely that Tess would get suspicious if they didn’t arrive, wondering why they had disappeared together.

Not that Liz was at all sure that she wouldn’t see that there was something distinctly different about them anyway. Max could not keep a silly grin off of his face, no matter how hard he tried, and it was so unlike him, there was no way Tess wouldn’t notice. Liz knew that she was practically glowing too.

Liz shared a secret smile with Max before allowing Maria to sweep her away towards the girl’s washroom. "I didn’t think you were ever going to get here!" Maria exclaimed. "Liz, it’s a complete disaster, I’m telling you!"

"Calm down! Tell me what it is," she ordered. Liz couldn’t help glancing in the mirror as they passed it, wondering if she looked any different on the outside. She knew that her hair was still a little tousled, but that was the style these days after all. She tried to control the smile that was threatening to break out across her face. It was highly inappropriate, based on the tone of Maria’s voice, and if it happened, she was going to have to explain to her best friend what was going on with her.

She would tell Maria eventually, of course, if only to reassure her best friend that it was fine to move ahead with Michael. That they were safe.

That it was wonderful in every way if it was your soulmate, and you knew that you were giving everything of yourself to the one person you were meant to be with, and that he was giving everything of himself right back.

But, for right now, she wanted to keep the wonder of it all to herself, revel in the secret she and Max shared.

"Liz, did you hear what I said?" Maria demanded, waving her hand in front of Liz’s face. "I am guessing by the lack of reaction that you didn’t." She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "What’s going on?"

Liz shook her head, trying to concentrate. "Nothing," she responded quickly. "Sorry. What did you say? I’m a little out of it, that’s all. Max and I are so late, and I feel like I’m just managing to recover from how long dinner took."

Maria rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Liz, Alex and Isabel are back together."

Liz stared at Maria. "Really? That’s great!"

Maria shook her head impatiently. "Liz, it is so not great! She’s going to hurt him again! I just know it! I can feel it in my bones!"

Liz smiled. "Maria, Alex isn’t the same person anymore. I think he’s learned how to handle himself around Isabel. He wouldn’t be pursuing anything with her again if he didn’t think it would work out." She felt a warm glow spreading through her at the thought of her best friend finally getting another chance with his dreamgirl.

Everything was finally falling into place for all of them.

"I still think we should put a stop to it," Maria retorted. "I will seriously kill that girl if she treats him like dirt again. I mean, c’mon. Grant Sorenson? Over Alex? I didn’t think he was ever going to recover from that!"

"But he did," Liz replied soothingly. "And Isabel has seen the light. We should be happy for them."

Maria narrowed her eyes speculatively. "Liz, you’re a little too chipper tonight. Something’s different…" She trailed off, staring at her. Liz felt a blush beginning to creep up her neck and onto her cheeks. " Oh my God! Liz!" Maria exclaimed, dawning understanding on her face. "Did you and Max…?"

Liz clapped her hand over Maria’s mouth. "Shhhh!" She glanced around nervously. No one could over hear. If anything leaked back to Tess….and this was the sort of rumour that would be all around the school in ten seconds. Especially since, in the eyes of all their classmates, she and Max were not together. Even now Liz could see Pam Troy and a friend of hers watching her and Maria in the mirror, interest on their faces. "Yes. Okay. Yes. But no one can know. Seriously, Maria!"

Maria reached out and hugged her. "I could just kill you, Liz! We still didn’t know if it was safe after all!" She pulled back and smiled. "But I’m so happy for you!"

Liz couldn’t help the smile that burst across her face. "It was…I mean, Maria, you have no idea."

"And likely won’t for a long time if Michael doesn’t get his act together," Maria replied darkly, but with a twinkle in her eye. She threw her arm across Liz’s shoulder. "I say we go out into that gym and celebrate. I’m feeling really jumpy right about now," she added wryly. "Let’s dance!"

Liz grinned, and let Maria lead her out of the washroom. Her eyes immediately began to scan the room for Max when they returned to the gym. She was still planning to dance with Maria, but she wanted to make sure that Max was surviving on his own for the moment. Not that she could even kiss him here - not where Tess might see - but she couldn’t help it.

She couldn’t see him anywhere though. Michael was standing with Kyle near the punch bowl. They both looked bored. Kyle even glanced at his watch once, and stared off towards the gym doors, a scowl on his face.

Liz smiled to herself when she caught sight of Isabel and Alex slow-dancing nearby. The fact that the band was playing a fast song didn’t seem to be bothering them at all. They were oblivious to the world around them, completely wrapped up in each other.

But where was Max? As she and Maria joined a group of their school friends on the dance floor, Liz’s gaze continued to drift through the crowd. There was no sign of him.

A shiver of apprehension descended her spine, out of nowhere. She shook it off. She was being completely ridiculous. He had probably just gone to the washroom or outside for a breath of fresh air. It was like a sauna in here.

When the song finished, Liz squeezed Maria’s hand before her friend left her to go rejoin Michael. She noticed Kyle still watching the gym doors, the ones that led out into the school proper. He seemed upset. As Liz watched, he obviously came to some sort of decision, because he started towards the doors, the tension in his body evident to Liz even from where she stood.

She moved towards him, meeting up with him right as he was about to go out into the hallway.

"Hi, Kyle!" Liz said, a slightly questioning look on her face. She hoped that he would tell her what was wrong, because clearly something was.

"Oh, Liz! Hi." Kyle was distracted though. He seemed to desperately want to go through those doors.

"Where’s Tess?" Liz asked.

"That’s what I’m wondering," Kyle replied.

"Have you seen Max?" Liz continued, feeling another chill for some reason that she didn’t understand.

"Nah." Kyle shrugged. "Hey, listen. Do you want to go outside and get some fresh air?" he asked, seeming to have come to some sort of decision. He turned his back deliberately on the doors he had seemed so eager to go through only moments before. He placed a finger between his collar and his neck, pulled on his bow-tie as though it was strangling him.

Liz didn’t really. She wanted to find Max. She wanted to dance with him, but she could see that Kyle was really upset about something. He was her friend after all. If he didn’t want to be alone, the least she could do was spend a few minutes outside with him.

"Okay."

Liz linked her arm through his, letting him lead her back across the gym and out onto the patio beyond.

"So, we haven’t had much of a chance to talk lately," Liz said quietly, when she and Kyle sat down at one of the picnic tables that graced the patio. "How are things?"

"Good, good." Kyle still seemed tense. He stood up abruptly. "Let’s walk," he suggested. "I have all this excess energy. I need to get rid of it."

Liz frowned slightly, but stood up. "Kyle, is everything okay?"

"Not really," he muttered. His head was lowered as they walked, and he had shoved his hands into his pockets, pausing when Liz reached down to take off her sandals because they weren’t really meant for walking on grass. He glanced up at her suddenly, and asked, "Liz, have you ever had the feeling that someone was drifting away from you, and you had absolutely no idea why?"

Liz smiled wryly, thinking of the trouble she and Max had recently gone through simply because they hadn’t communicated. "I think I have," she replied. "Is something wrong between you and Tess?"

"I just don’t know." Kyle sounded upset. "She’s been so great lately, but tonight…something was just off. I got the distinct impression that she didn’t want to be here with me."

Liz reached out, took his hand, and squeezed. "I’m sure you’re just imagining things," she tried to comfort him. "Anyone with eyes can see that Tess is crazy about you."

It was true. It was the reason Liz had come so close so many times to letting Max tell Tess the truth - that he and Liz were back together. And yet…Something always held her back. Some small certainty that telling Tess the truth would be disastrous.

"Last week, I would have agreed, but lately…She’s just been different. Ever since the hostage thing at the Museum actually…." He trailed off, shaking his head uncertainly.

They were both quiet for a moment, Liz reflecting on the fact that it had been at the UFO Museum that Max somehow managed to remember Tess from their past life. Could the same thing have happened to Tess? Was that why she was drifting away from Kyle? And how had Max remembered anyway? He had never explained that.

Suddenly a chill descended Liz’s spine. She needed to find Max - immediately. She knew she was being ridiculous, but she just had to see him. Now.

Liz realized that she and Kyle had wandered about half way around the school grounds, and were actually closer to the front doors of the school now than they were to the gym. "Let’s go back to the gym," Liz suggested, trying to sound calm. "We can have a dance."

Kyle sighed heavily. "Okay." He shoved his hands into his pockets again, following Liz closely, although she had picked up her pace. By the time they rounded the corner to the hallway that led to the gym, she was almost running.

When she reflected on it later, Liz realized that, somehow, she knew what she was going to see when she found Max. She didn’t know how she knew, but she did.

She skidded to a stop, still barefoot, her sandals swinging from her hand. She dropped them instinctively as the sight in front of her came into focus.

Her vision blurred, she stumbled, feeling bile rise in her throat. She turned on her heel and ran back the way she had come. She passed Kyle, who called after her, worry in his voice. He cut himself off abruptly when he saw what she had just seen.

Liz thrust the doors to the school open, and took great gulping breaths of air. She brought her hands up to her temples, pushing against them as though she could crush away the memory of it.

Max kissing Tess. Not just kissing her - practically inhaling her, his hands up cupping her face, kissing Tess the way he had always kissed Liz…hungrily, lovingly, like he never wanted to stop.

She was on her knees in the grass, swaying gently, rocking herself, trying to understand what she had just seen, how everything could have gone so horrifically wrong.

She felt a light touch on her back, realized that it was Kyle almost immediately. "Liz?"

"I slept with him. Tonight." She didn’t understand why she told him, but the horror of the entire situation was such that she had no control over herself. She just needed to purge everything.

There was complete silence for what seemed like forever. "That bastard." Kyle sounded so livid, Liz looked up at him despite herself. His face was a mask of rage. "I’m going to kill him."

"No, Kyle. Please. I need you." He was down on his knees beside her in an instant. She threw herself against him, felt great, wracking sobs beginning to erupt from within her. She had never felt pain like this before - not when she had to leave Max at the pod chamber, not when she had seen the look on his face when he caught her in bed with Kyle. It felt as though it was going to destroy her, that she literally would be unable to survive under the weight of her grief.

"I’m taking you home," Kyle said evenly, helping her up. When she stumbled, he simply swept her up against his chest and carried her to his car. Liz sensed all this at a great distance. She could feel herself slipping into some nether world where the pain dulled slightly, where she knew what had happened, but where she could bear it.

She stayed there through Kyle dropping her off, through him asking if she wanted him to stay, through telling her parents that she had had a wonderful time.

The nether world only shattered when she was wrapped in a blanket on her balcony, staring up at the cold stars, up at the stars that had sent her destroyer disguised as her true love.

All that was left was rage.

She hated him. With every fiber of her being, she hated him. He had lied to her, had promised her things that he had no intention of ever giving her.

She had given herself to him and he had betrayed her the exact same day.

Liz’s head came up in disbelief when his voice suddenly penetrated through the miasma of rage and grief. "Liz? Are you up there?"

Did he really have the gall to come and see her after what he had done?

She didn’t move, could not budge. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to him. She never wanted to see him again.

And, yet, she was not surprised when his dark head appeared over the edge of the balcony, complete confusion and dismay on his face. "Liz? Are you okay? Are you sick? You left. What happened?"

She turned away, letting her hair fall across her face as a barrier between them. "Go away," she ordered. "I have absolutely no desire to talk to you."

The silence that followed was so complete that Liz actually wondered if he had left. But she knew he hadn’t. "Liz, what’s wrong?"

He actually sounded hurt, confused. That he could so coldly betray her and then pretend that nothing was wrong…He was worse than a bastard. He was evil.

" Go away!" Liz almost screamed. "If you don’t, I’m going to get my dad…or…or call the sheriff." She glanced over at him. He was staring at her, the expression on his face completely blank, like he didn’t know what to feel.

Because he had no feelings.

"Liz?" he almost whispered it, his voice cracking slightly. "Please tell me what’s wrong."

She scowled at him. "I saw you. I saw you, Max! Again! With her."

He looked truly bewildered. "With who?"

"With Tess!"

"What? I don’t know what you’re talking about, Liz." He took a step towards her, raising his hand pleadingly.

"Kyle and I both saw you, Max. You were kissing her. Right outside the gym."

Max stared at her. "Liz, are you okay?" She wrenched away when he reached out to touch her.

"Go away! I mean it, Max. I never want to see you again."

"Liz, this is insane!" Max yelled back, clearly on the verge of almost losing it. "I didn’t kiss Tess. I swear I didn’t!"

She almost believed him. He sounded so sincere. But then that was Max. He always did.

"I saw you," she repeated mutinously.

"Liz, it has to have been a mind-warp." Max’s voice was back to a normal pitch. "Please. Think about it. I have no idea why she’s doing this, but she’s trying to split us up!"

Liz glared at him. "Max, she doesn’t even know we’re together! Why would she even think she has to split us up?"

Max blinked, looking perplexed again. "I don’t know. Maybe she does know?"

Liz shook her head. "No. I saw you."

"Liz, please!" He sounded like he was about to burst into tears. She turned her face away.

"Go away."

There was another long pause. And, then, he did.

It was only when he was gone that her irrational rage drained out of her, so quickly that she knew that it had not been her, just as it had not been Max kissing Tess.

She knew it with every fiber of her being.

Suddenly, her panic was absolute.

She had to find Max before he did something they would both regret for the rest of their lives. Because neither of them was in any sort of control of their actions. She had completely devastated him - had watched herself do it - knowing that someone was controlling her the entire time, but she had been unable to stop it.

He wasn’t at home. Liz climbed through his window, and sat down on his bed to wait. She wasn’t going anywhere until she spoke to him again.

He was gone so long that Liz actually fell asleep, waking only when she felt his touch on her hair.

She opened her eyes, preparing herself to apologize, to throw her arms around him, to kiss the hurt away.

But one look at his face, at the guilt and horror etched there and she knew.

Liz knew that Tess had won. She didn’t know how or why. But she had won.

AN - I'm so glad that people are discovering this fic for the first time as I repost it. I must admit again, I think it's among the best things I've ever written, but at the time it was posted originally, it sort of became overshadowed by Between the Sand and Stone.

Anyway, thanks to everyone for the wonderful feedback. The truth about Sean is slowly emerging I know, but all will be revealed explicitly in the next few parts. Kudos to those who have already picked up on it.

So, without further ado, on with the angst!

Part 15 - Another Time, Another Life - Section E

He told her slowly, haltingly, what had happened. About half-way through the story she moved away from him despite herself. She wanted to comfort him - after all, it was not his fault, what had happened, but hers. She had let it happen - and yet, she could not touch him any longer.

"When I left you, I couldn’t even think straight. I just drove around." His voice was low, desperate. "I ended up at that old observatory - the one we went to on that field trip last year. I knew that Tess had mindwarped you somehow, and I had no idea how to prove it to you. You were so angry, Liz. I’ve never seen you like that."

"I’m sorry." She said it, not really meaning it, because she knew that it had not been her. Someone, something had played on her emotions, making her over-react to what she had seen, making her forget what she knew about Max in the deepest part of her soul.

She knew that he would never make love with her, and then turn around and kiss another girl two hours later - even it if was Tess. And she had allowed herself to believe it anyway. Even his words when he came to see her had only confirmed what she already knew. It had not been him.

And, yet, she had still allowed herself to believe it. Her eyes would not lie to her after all. She had allowed it, even though she knew about Tess’s gift, had seen the true evidence of its power more than once, recently even, at the UFO Museum.

She suddenly understood perfectly what Max had been going through in the first days after he had "caught" her in bed with Kyle. She had never really comprehended what it must have felt like to know in your heart that something was a lie, and, yet, to have to believe it because you had seen it with your own two eyes.

The mind-warp was the most evil of all the aliens’ powers - even more so than Michael’s detested ability to kill without even touching. How could they have not realized that Tess’s gift displayed exactly what kind of monster she really was?

"Don’t apologize. Please." Max closed his eyes. His elbows were on his knees and he brought his face down into his hands. "Liz, you came to me at the observatory."

"What?" Liz felt her heart in her throat. Could this be even worse than she had ever possibly imagined? "What do you mean?"

"I…I was there, just looking through the telescope, wondering how I could prove that Tess was evil…and you came." Max looked up at her, his dark eyes shining with unshed tears. "I was just about to leave. I was going to go to the sheriff’s, to confront Tess, to make her admit the truth to you, when suddenly you were there." He paused, a grimace of self-disgust passing over his face. "I didn’t even question how you knew where I was. You kissed me, apologized, and I believed it was you. But, it was her. I didn’t know, until…after."

It was at this point that Liz moved away from him, wrapping her arms around her middle, her entire body suddenly overcome with such cold, she felt like she was freezing to death from the inside out. "After what?"

She knew, of course. But she was going to make him say it. Until he said it, it would not be real. This complete and utter disaster would not be real. "Liz, I slept with her."

He said it quickly, as though the words made him want to be sick, which she was pretty sure they did. "I woke up afterward." He was speaking mechanically now, just trying to get it all out. "It was morning." Liz looked out his bedroom window, saw that it was indeed after dawn, the sun shining weakly in the morning sky. "And she was there." His voice cracked. "You weren’t anywhere. And she told me what happened. I came home, and you were here, and I knew that she was telling me the truth."

Liz tilted her head back, letting herself fall back onto his bed. She stared up at the ceiling. "Why?" she whispered. "Why did she do this?"

"She knew," Max replied. "She knew that we were back together. She said that she found out the night of the hostage thing at the Museum." He paused. "I never told you, but I went to see her that night. I had gotten some flashes from Brody when I healed him, flashes that made me remember some stuff. I had to go to see her that night…"

"To see if they were real," Liz finished. Max allowed himself to flop back on the bed too. They were not touching, but she could still feel the bond between them, could feel it pulling her towards him. It made her want to lay her hands on him, comfort him. She sat up abruptly.

"Yeah. And we connected that night. Like you and I did, right after I healed you…and I saw things and I knew that my memories were real." She turned to look down at him. He was now the one staring sightlessly up at the ceiling as he continued, "She told me that she had seen it then, when we connected."

"Kyle said she was acting weird all week," Liz told him. "She must have been biding her time," she added, suddenly furious because Tess had used Kyle all along, making Max believe that she wasn’t interested in him. She had just been using the oldest trick in the book though. She had been trying to make him jealous.

But it hadn’t worked because he was with Liz. And, so, she resorted to outright deception. She had pretended to be Liz and she had seduced him.

"Liz…" Max sat up again, tentatively reaching out, but stopping short of touching her. "I can’t even say I’m sorry. It is just totally not enough. I…I don’t even know where to start to make this up to you." He looked away, down at the floor. "I…I would totally understand if you wanted…" He paused, swallowed, hard. "Wanted to break up with me."

"NO!" Max’s head jerked up. Liz threw herself at him desperately. "NO! That’s what she wants. No. No. No."

And she knew it was true. Tess had done this to break them up. The last thing Liz was going to do was let her win that way. "No, Max. No. It wasn’t your fault."

She knew it wasn’t. Liz could still feel the devastation in the pit of her stomach that this had happened, but Max was not to blame. He had been tricked, in fact, in some horrible way, he had almost been raped by Tess.

He needed her.

Max’s hands came up, wrapping themselves in her hair. "But Liz, how can you forgive this? I almost couldn’t get past the Kyle thing and that wasn’t even true. I can’t let you do this." He was actually crying. She could hear the pain, the guilt in his voice even though she could not see his face. Liz hugged him against her, willing him to take comfort from her.

"I don’t care! Max, I don’t care. She can’t win! No. You’re mine." She sobbed it into his neck, winding her arms around him, plastering her body against his.

He didn’t reply, just let her cling to him. She felt him shivering under her, but it gradually stopped as they continued to sit on his bed, neither wanting to let go.

The cold was closing in. But, as long as they were together, they could stay warm. Liz’s mind was not working coherently anymore, the combination of her grief, and horror, and pain, as well as heavy fatigue finally settling into her bones, all joining together to cloud her mind.

But this she knew. Only as long as they were together could they keep the cold away.

***

It only got worse.

At first it looked like it was going to work. That they could pretend that nothing had happened. Because that’s what they did for almost an entire week after the prom.

Max and Liz were openly back together. After all, there was no need to hide anything anymore. Maria, and Alex, and Isabel, and Michael were ecstatic (although Michael refused to admit it, Maria told Liz it was true). Things were going back to normal, back to the way they were supposed to be, the way they had been before the whole destiny/Future Max disaster.

But things were not all right. Max and Liz were affectionate in public, both pretending that everything was perfect. It was only when they were alone that the distance that was springing up between them became clear.

Max could not get past his guilt. Liz had forgiven him. She knew she had, but he could not believe it because he could not forgive himself. And so, when they were alone, they sat in silence, and said nothing, and let the cold continue to settle in.

No one knew what had become of Tess. She completely disappeared. Liz broke the news to Kyle a day after it had happened, only because she felt that he had the right to know the truth about Tess, so that she wouldn’t be able to worm her way back into his good graces. They told no one else. No one else needed to know.

And, then, Tess showed up in the Crashdown a week later and told Max she was pregnant.

None of them wanted to believe it at first. They were all there when she said it, sitting at the counter or at a booth in Liz’s parents restaurant, looking over pictures from the prom. Maria was sitting on Michael’s lap, Isabel had her head on Alex’s shoulder as she giggled over some joke he had told her.

Max and Liz were sitting at opposite ends of the counter. Liz was looking at a picture of Alex, and Isabel, and Michael, and Maria, and Kyle, and…Tess, that Mrs. Deluca had taken before the prom.

She and Max should have been there, but they had been in the desert making love under torch light, knowing that nothing could ever split them up again.

Kyle, who was sitting beside her, grabbed the picture out of her hand and turned it upside down, looking back at her, his eyes burning with pity and rage.

She should not have told Kyle the truth. Because he hated Max now. Even though none of it was Max’s fault.

It was in that instant that the bell over the door leading into the Crashdown rang, making them all turn their heads as one.

Tess stood in the doorway, her hands clasped in front of her, her expression unreadable. Liz felt Kyle tense beside her. For her part, she could not move. She could not even look at Max, who she was sure was dying inside at the sight of her.

Either dying or getting ready to kill her with his bare hands. Because he had told Liz last night, as they had sat on her balcony, not touching, that he wanted to. He wanted to kill her, and if he had the chance, he would.

It was the first time any of them had seen her since the prom. And since she did not know the truth, Maria stood up, welcoming her, beckoning her to join them; Maria, who had always despised Tess because she stood between Max and Liz, but now that Max and Liz could be together, there was no need to hate Tess anymore, was there?

Tess shook her blonde head. Liz wondered when it had started raining, because when Tess’s hair moved across her shoulders it sent water raining around her small body.

"I need to talk to Max. Alone," she said quietly. Liz felt a lump rising in her throat, but forced herself to look at Max.

He was staring at Tess, his face completely blank. But his eyes were burning with hate so strongly, for a moment, Liz feared for him. Hate of that magnitude was not an inherent part of Max Evans’s make-up. It was just not him. He was destroying himself over this.

"Ah! No secrets!" Alex joked from the booth where he sat with Isabel. "We’re all friends here."

Liz looked in their direction, and could see that Isabel was frowning slightly, like she was becoming aware that something was distinctly wrong. She saw Max’s sister stare at her brother, worry beginning to appear on her pretty face. She pinched Alex lightly, as though to quiet him.

Because, when Liz turned back to Tess, she could see Tess openly glaring at Alex, like she hated him.

But Liz had no time to reflect on this, because in the next instant Tess laughed bitterly and said, "Okay then. Everyone’s going to know soon anyway. Surprise, Max!" Tess’s face was a mask of triumph so abruptly, it made Liz freeze. She felt Kyle reach out, and grab her by the arm, as though in support for what they both knew was coming. "You’re going to be a daddy."

The silence that followed this statement was so complete, Liz wondered inanely if anyone was actually breathing anymore. She knew she wasn’t. In fact, her heart had stopped beating the minute Tess walked through the door. She had known, even then, that her entire world was about to end.

It was Michael who finally said what they were all thinking. He turned to look at Max. "Maxwell, what the hell is she talking about?" It was as though his words suddenly woke everyone else up.

Maria slid off Michael’s lap, and came to stand beside Liz. Alex stood up, near the booth, the shock on his face only enhanced on that of his girlfriend, who stayed seated and simply said, "Max?"

"It’s true." Tess smirked at Liz. "You two can pretend all you want, but this baby is real and it’s coming and it is Max’s."

"Get out." Two simple words from Max. He was no longer looking at her, but down at the counter, his entire frame rigid with the effort to control himself. Liz wanted to go to him, to support him, but she could not move.

She was frozen inside and out.

"But that’s not all, Daddy," Tess continued, as though she had heard nothing. It was almost like she was on a death mission, Liz reflected later, like she wanted Max to kill her, like it would be the final triumph. Game. Set. Match. "The baby’s dying. I connected with it this morning. It can’t survive here."

Liz watched a tremor pass through Max’s body.

"Max, can this be true?" It was Isabel asking, but they were all looking at him, waiting for him to acknowledge that he had slept with Tess, that she was not lying. Liz knew what they were really waiting for. They were waiting for him to take responsibility, to help Tess.

Because they didn’t know. The did not know what Tess had done. Only Kyle knew.

And now there was a baby, and it was innocent, and it was dying.

Liz could feel Maria’s eyes on her, like she didn’t understand why Liz was not breaking down, why she was not freaking out. But it was too late for that.

"You’re lying," Max said simply. Liz watched Tess’s eyes widen, like she couldn’t quite believe he was actually saying the words, that he was truly going to leave her alone and pregnant.

But Tess did not understand. She did not understand that she had destroyed Max Evans when she tricked him into sleeping with her. Because the Max Evans she wanted was the Max Evans who never would have slept with her, who never would have betrayed Liz Parker.

This Max Evans was lost. He did not understand himself any more, did not know how he could have done what he had done. Liz had known it for a week, ever since the day he told her what had happened, when they had clung together, trying to shut the world out.

But the world insisted on getting in. The guilt insisted on claiming him.

Tess tried again. "Max, it is your child. I know you hate me, but you have to love this baby. It is yours. It is your heir. I’m your wife."

Liz became aware of a tapping sound down the length of the long corridor from which she seemed to be watching this entire farce play out. She glanced over at Kyle. He was tapping his fingers against the counter, almost impatiently. He didn’t seem to be listening to the conversation at all anymore, had completely tuned out, to protect himself from the fact that everything Liz had told him was true - that his Tess had really tricked Max Evans into sleeping with her. That she was truly lost to him.

"It is not mine. I refuse it."

Liz heard Isabel gasp. She understood why. Max sounded like some sort of medieval king with those words. Because in those words, what they all heard was, "It is mine and I refuse to take responsibility for what I have done."

Liz was not shocked. He was no longer Max. Tess had killed what Max had been. He was not the same.

But she loved him anyway.

And, so, Tess turned and left. But before she left, she said, "I know you’ll change your mind. I’ll be at the Valentis’."

Kyle flinched at that. He stopped tapping.

"Okay, what the hell just happened here?" Michael demanded. "Max, has that chick gone psycho? We know that you and Liz have been back together for ages." Max blinked at that, but did not answer. "What is she talking about?"

"Leave it alone, Michael." Max sighed wearily. He turned and dropped his elbows onto the counter, his face into his hands.

And still Liz could not move.

"Valenti?" Michael turned to Kyle, the only other person who might feasibly understand what was happening.

But Kyle stood up and walked out of the Crashdown, without another word to anyone, although he squeezed Liz’s shoulder as he left.

Liz managed to stand up too. Because she was becoming increasingly aware that there was only one way to save her Max from the distant, guilt-ridden person he was becoming. She was going to have to be the strong one - again.

"Max, come with me," she ordered. He did not protest, but followed her through the swinging door to the kitchen. She heard their four friends all start talking at once, as soon as the door swung shut behind them.

"I am so sorry, Liz," he said mechanically. She turned to him, and wrapped her arms around him, really touching him for the first time since the morning after the disaster.

She realized now that the reason they had both been distancing themselves from each other was because they were waiting for the other shoe to drop. They had both known that Tess would not stop at what she had done, that there had to be a greater purpose.

It had happened. And, to save Max, there was only one route to take. "You know that you are going to have to find a way home," Liz whispered to him. "You’re going to have to find a way to make sure she’s telling the truth, and then you are going to have to help her."

"No." He said it mutinously, but she could tell by the tone of his voice, and by the way that his hands stilled against her that he knew it was true. That he would do it for her. He would save himself - for her.

And, so, Liz said the words that they knew she would. "It’s your child, Max. It doesn’t deserve her as a mother. And if it can’t survive here, then you have to take her away."

"I can’t leave you."

"You have to." She pulled back, reached up, and stroked his face. "But you’ll come back to me."

The real Max would come back if he took responsibility and did what had to be done. The shell that he was now - the guilt-ridden shell that could not forgive himself - she did not want it. She wanted the real Max back.

***

Within hours they knew the truth.

Liz went with Max to the Valentis’. Kyle was there too, watching from the shadows of the living room, as Max connected with Tess, touching her as though he was touching a snake. Liz wasn’t sure where the sheriff was.

Liz knew that Max had connected with his child when he pulled back, an amazed expression on his face. Tess looked triumphant, although her expression wavered slightly when Liz did not even flinch. "It’s a boy," he told Liz, a smile breaking out over his face despite himself.

Liz smiled sadly at him. The healing of Max’s soul was beginning already. Because she knew, from the expression on his face, that he accepted the child. That he loved it.

That he would go.

But, at the very least, he would still be hers.

"And he’s dying," Max acknowledged, standing up, taking Liz by the hand, and ignoring Tess completely. He looked back at her only once before they left. "I’ll find a way back there. He will live."

Tess just stared at him, expressionless, seemingly unable to believe that he was just going to leave her sitting there.

Kyle seemed to understand though. "I’ll make sure she doesn’t do anything to herself," he promised quietly as he followed them out onto the porch. Liz knew he was saying it more for her benefit than Max’s, but he understood what was going on.

Tess was a vessel for Max’s son, but Liz was its mother. Plain and simple. All three of them knew it, and all three of them accepted it.

Except fate did not accept it.

The next blow came out of nowhere, and was so unexpected, the trio could not have been aware that within twenty-four hours, everything would have changed again.

Because, the very next day, Alex Whitman died.

Author's Note: Sigh. I know it sucks that Alex dies in that other reality too, but don't forget...Has to be worse than the mess the Roswell writers left us with at the end of Season 2. Part of the focus of this fic was making that acceptable. Not that Alex's death ever would be, but, unfortunately, in this fic, it stayed a reality.

Oh, and Linds, A Mother's Love will be up as soon as I finish reposting this and Fall on Your Knees.

Two parts today, because Part 16 is kind of short.

Part 16 - Into the Fire - Max POV

Mother teach me to walk again.
Milk and honey so intoxicating.

I’m reunited.
Into the fire,
I am the spark.
Into the night,
I yearn for comfort.

Open the doors that lead on into Eden.
Don’t want no cheap disguise.
I follow the signs marked back to the beginning,
No more compromise.

And into the fire,
I’m reunited.
Into the fire,
I am the spark.
Into the night,
I yearn for comfort.

Fuel the water that carries me to the sea.
You I see as my security.

Into the fire,
I'm reunited.
Into the fire,
I am the spark.
Into the night,
I yearn for comfort.

I will stare at the sun until its light doesn't blind me.
I will walk unto the fire until its heat doesn't burn me.
And I will feed the fire.

Into the fire,
I'm reunited.
Into the fire,
I am the spark.
Into the night,
I yearn for comfort.

Into the fire.

Sarah McLachlan

I know that, in my hand, I am holding the key to everything.

I hear Isabel gasp behind me. "Max! Why is that still here?"

"It’s the granolith," I say, sure I am right, amazed that I know it.

"What?" This comes from Michael, who reaches around and grabs it from me. "That thing we sent Tess off in was the granolith."

"I thought we agreed to call her the murderess from now on," I hear Maria mutter from nearby, but she isn’t really talking to anyone. I notice Kyle flinch at it though.

I stare at the crystal sitting in Michael’s hand. We are all staring at it.

"I think Max is right," Isabel whispers finally. "I remember it."

I begin to shake my head. "How could we have been so stupid?" I ask Isabel. "Lonnie told me in New York that the granolith was some sort of religious icon - like the holy grail. Why on Earth would our planet worship a spaceship? This has to be it."

"Wait! Wait." Michael holds his hands up, almost dropping the crystal in the process. Isabel takes it away from him, glaring. "If this is the granolith, what the hell does it do?"

"I think…" I pause, searching my mind frantically. When I first touched it, I knew instantly what it did, but the memories from that other life have already begun to fade. "I think it has something to do with time. Timelines," I add when everyone just looks at me like they have no idea what I’m talking about.

I don’t blame them. I don’t think I know what I’m talking about either. But I do know that this crystal is here because it has something to do with Liz’s disappearance.

Isabel and Michael are looking at each other, both with frowns on their faces, like they too are trying to remember exactly what it is we know about this relic. I almost can’t believe that we didn’t try this before - to actually remember. Although the one time I did remember, with Tess, it led to disaster, it still is the easiest way to actually get answers.

But, then, we have never been in the habit of taking the easy road - or the logical road for that matter. Leapers - that’s what we all are. Supremely ironic, but true. Always thinking we’re cautious, but we’re all really impulsive and head-strong. All three of us. The evidence of it stretches back in my memory like a long line of uninterrupted stupidity.

Me healing Liz. I would never regret it, but there was no question it had not been the safest course of action. And then there were all those kids from Christmas. Oh yeah, and going off to New York with Lonnie and Rath. Real smart, that move.

I choose to not even address the subject of Tess. You know it, I know it. Let’s just move on.

Then there’s Michael. Shall we list his offenses? There was the time he kidnapped Maria and took her to Marathon, not to mention his various and sundry other illegal maneuvers. You’d think that for someone who was trying to keep a secret, the least he could have done over the last two years was try and stay out of jail. But, apparently not.

Even Isabel, the one out of all of us who most wanted to be human and thus wanted to keep our secret, has the weird tendency to put herself in ludicrous positions. Grant Sorenson for example. What the hell had that been about? Both Michael and I knew that he was bad news from the get-go, but Isabel dated him anyway.

I am beginning to wonder if this character trait that we all share - impulsiveness - but which is strongest in me, might not have been why I lost my throne in my last life. I remember what Larek told me at the summit in New York - that I was always impatient, never willing to wait to change things.

I have been making all the same mistakes over again. I try to mold my life into what I want it be, rather than waiting for it to unfold as it is meant to, and I have screwed it up every time.

It has only ever been Liz who looks before she leaps. It is why we compliment each other so well. Balance. It has always been about that with us.

But even Liz has been known to do stupid things in the name of love. She literally jumped off a bridge for me after all. Which only reinforces how strong she is - because jumping off a bridge was only a last resort for Liz.

For me, it would have been the first choice.

I realize now, more than ever, that I can never be the king my planet needs without her by my side.

Which is why, I am guessing, Tess has taken her. To stop that. It is also probably why Khivar made a deal with Nasedo in the first place. Somehow he knew that making me human was going to help me to find exactly what I needed to take back my throne.

Liz. She’s all I’ll ever need.

"But what does it have to do with Liz?" Maria speaks up now. "Because I can tell that’s what you’re thinking, Max."

It is what I’m thinking, of course, but I don’t know why. Try as I might, I can’t remember exactly how the damn thing works.

"Future Max used it to come back here." I am muttering to myself, trying to work it out. I see Isabel and Michael exchange a confused look, because, of course, they still don’t know about that whole fiasco. "It activated the spaceship…" I look up. "And it was in Las Cruces. Alex had it when he was translating the book."

"So back to Leanna?" Michael demands.

"Back to the mysterious Lazar," I reply. "Or, as we know him better, Sean Deluca. We need to find him."

"Find Khivar?" Isabel whispers. "Max, do you think we’re ready?"

"We don’t know for sure that he’s Khivar," I tell her. "And the more I think about it, the more I’m sure he’s not." I pause. "There is something familiar about him, but it’s not that."

"Okay, clearly it’s time to split up again." The sheriff steps forward. He has been off the phone with Amy Deluca for several minutes and has just been listening quietly. "Amy doesn’t remember Sean at all anymore," he informs us. "It’s like he never existed."

"Maybe Tess is too preoccupied with Liz to keep up the mindwarp." I shrug.

"I still don’t understand how that chick can be this powerful, Maxwell," Michael speaks up again. "Wouldn’t we have known? And, if she is, does it mean we are too?"

"I’m not sure that it’s all her, Michael. But, I think we might be."

I know that I am right too. Even being in the presence of the crystal again…Now that I am aware of what it really is, I feel stronger in some way. Like I have taken the first step back to who I used to be.

Zan.

But not just Zan. Zan plus something more.

And I know exactly what that something more is. Because, as I take the granolith back from my sister, I feel her.

Liz.

This crystal will explain what happened to her. We just need to figure out how the hell it works. And what specifically it does. I know I am right that it can affect time somehow, but I don’t exactly understand how or why…And I need to know.

"Splitting up sounds like a good plan," I tell the sheriff, because everyone is waiting for me to make a decision. "We need to find Sean. I don’t want anyone confronting him," I add. "We just need to find him."

I carefully place the granolith in the inside pocket of my jacket.

"What about Liz, Max?" Maria asks worriedly as we move towards the cars again.

"She’s okay." I know I am right. The granolith, sitting right next to my heart, is telling me so. "But we have stuff to do before she can come back to us."

"Stuff?" Maria asks perplexed.

"Yeah." I smile sadly. "We need to find out exactly what the hell happened to Alex before she can - and we need to find my son."

I know it’s true. It’s what my weird dream about Alex, and Sean, and Liz was trying to tell me. The pieces are finally coming together.

"How do you know this, Max?" Maria is climbing into my parents’ car with me. I’m not really sure why - maybe being with me makes her feel closer to Liz or something. No one seems to want to argue about it though. I see that Michael and Isabel are together in Maria’s Jetta, and Kyle and the sheriff are in the Mustang.

"Alex told me."

She stops talking after this, like she’s not surprised.

Part 17 - Another Time, Another Life - Section F

"God, Liz. How can you bear it?" Maria asked quietly, breaking the silence that sprang up in Alex’s room after Liz told Maria and Alex what was going on.

It was the Saturday morning after Liz and Max had found out the truth about Tess's baby. She knew that Max was with Michael and Isabel somewhere, explaining to them about Tess. They agreed that splitting up, humans and Czechs, might be the best idea, mainly because they really weren't in the mood for a giant blow-up, which was always entirely too likely when the six of them were together.

And so, Maria lay with her head on Liz’s shoulder. Liz had her own cheek pressed against Alex’s chest, her eyes staring blankly at the television screen where Spaceballs played. The movie was Alex’s in vain attempt to take Liz’s mind off of her problems, if only for a little while, although he hadn’t been quite sure what those problems were when he started it.

But when Liz finally told them exactly what had happened, that Max had slept with Tess, even if only by accident; that the baby was his, and that he was desperately searching for a way to get his former life bride back to their home planet to save the child, Maria and Alex both just sat in stunned silence for close to fifteen minutes, the silly antics of the movie seeming even more ludicrous playing into the horrible stillness.

"I am so sorry, Lizzie." This was from Alex, whose breath was still coming in short puffs, even after his shock began to fade. Liz could feel how tense he was under her cheek. He was barely managing to keep his rage in check.

Liz remembered the story Maria had told her about the time Alex punched Michael for hurting her. It made Liz worry that he was going to blame Max for all of this, even if it wasn’t his fault. In Alex’s mind, hurting either Liz or Maria, whether by accident or not, was unacceptable.

Alex’s first loyalty was to Liz and Maria. It always had been, and always would be. Even his relationship with Isabel was too new and fragile to change that fact. Liz knew, with certainty, that if Alex had to choose between his two "girls" and any of the Czechs, even Isabel, he would choose Liz and Maria.

Which made Liz feel even worse. Because she knew that she could not say the same. Ever since Max healed her that day in the Crashdown, she had always chosen him, even over Alex and Maria. She had almost lost Alex over it in fact. She still sighed with relief knowing that their friendship had survived the whole secret that almost tore them apart. But she knew, deep down, that she would do it all over again if she had to.

Max was her entire world. And keeping Alex aware of this fact was essential. Because Liz knew that Alex was presently right on the precipice. If he couldn’t deal with it, with the fact that Max had technically cheated on her, it was going to tear their group apart.

He might never forgive Max for it, but he was going to have to deal with it. Even the thought of a rift between her boyfriend and her best friend made Liz feel weak. They could not turn on each other now, not when they most needed each other. All of them.

But Liz knew that Alex would make the right choice. He always did.

It had been a long time since Liz just spent an evening alone with her two best friends. It was cathartic, comforting, reinvigorating. For once, she didn’t have to be the strong one. She was allowed to wallow, allowed to cry, allowed to voice her fear with Alex and Maria.

She needed this more than she needed anything at the moment.

"I love him," Liz replied simply. "And it wasn’t his fault. He needs me."

There was another long silence, and then Alex spoke urgently, in a low voice. "But Liz, what about what you need? A baby? It’s going to be around forever."

"And I’ll be his mother."

Maria sat up with a gasp. "Liz! You’re only eighteen years old! And were you not the one who told me that I wasn’t ready to be a mother when I wanted to marry Brody, for Sydney’s sake?"

"Maria, there is a difference," Liz retorted patiently. "You weren’t in love with Sydney’s father. I love Max. And I’ll love anything that is a part of him too. It’s not the baby’s fault that Tess is a lying skank."

Maria brought her hands up around her mouth, clearly trying to hold in hysterical giggles. "Liz, I can’t believe you just said that!" She paused, then added. "Well, I can actually. Because it’s what I’ve always said."

"Well, it’s true, and you were right." Liz smiled weakly. Calling Tess names was not making her feel better though.

"I still don’t like this - not a bit." Liz could feel Alex tapping his fingers lightly against her back. She frowned slightly, wondering why he seemed so impatient. Was he planning to go confront Max about this? Because Max had enough to deal with. He and Michael were presently attempting to translate the book that Tess had found in the Roswell Library the year before, in a vain attempt to figure out if they could get home.

If all else failed, Max was ready to go to Larek, through Brody. But that was only going to be as a last resort. Liz knew that Max still had not forgiven himself for all Brody had gone through because of him.

But if he had to, Max would do it. Now that he knew that Liz was behind him, now that he had accepted his son, he was not going to stop until he found a way to save him.

"Alex, please. I need your support in this," Liz pleaded quietly. "I need you guys. I have to be strong for Max, but I can’t do it alone."

Liz felt Maria take her hand, accepting her role readily. But then Maria was much more bonded to the whole situation than Alex was, even now, with the Isabel. Maria’s relationship with Michael was solid. It gave her what she needed. It was different for Alex though. Alex had managed to build something of a life for himself outside of the alien abyss, what with Sweden and his brief interlude with Leanna. He had shown that it was possible - at least for him.

Liz knew it was impossible for her. She had been without Max, and had seen how wrong it was on every level, and she was unwilling to let anything stand between them again.

But Alex could still save himself.

Yet, Liz knew that Alex’s hesitation had nothing to do with himself. It was all about her, and what he was willing to watch her do, watch her give up.

Liz could almost hear the wheels of indecision turning in his brain as he wrestled with his anger about the whole thing, wrestled with the question of whether he could continue to support something that he clearly thought was so dangerous and hurtful to Liz.

Finally, he just sighed heavily and said, "Okay. If it’s what you want, Liz, then okay."

She felt tears prickle her eyes, her relief so great, it felt as though a great weight was lifted off of her heart.

"Thank you. You two are my best friends. I will always be grateful that I’ve been blessed with you."

"Stuck with us is more like it," Alex joked, grabbing Maria and hauling her down on top of both of them, when she and Liz started to giggle. "You’re never going to get rid of us now, Parker. Uncle Alex is about to be born. I’m telling you, you and Max are going to regret it when I begin to take the little alien under my tutelage. I will mold him to my very image." He cackled wickedly.

"Oh, Lord help us. He’s going to want to be in a band when he grows up, isn’t he?" Maria laughed.

Liz just closed her eyes, enjoying the warm glow of acceptance and love that being with true friends could create.

***

The crash of the tray falling from Maria’s hands resounded through the Crashdown, making Michael jump to his feet, and bringing Liz’s heart into her throat. They had all been meeting, Max and Michael filling them in on their progress regarding the journey back to Antar. Liz was quietly wiping down the tables while she listened to the cadence of Max’s voice rising and falling, wondering if she would forget what he sounded like when he was gone.

She thought she wouldn’t, but as the decision was made that they were going to have to go to Larek, she knew it was only a matter of time until she was going to find out first hand. Tess was getting weaker by the day. Max was getting more desperate by the day.

The baby was dying. They needed to get him off the planet as soon as possible.

Which meant that every minute passing was a minute closer to Max leaving.

But the sooner he left, the sooner he could come back to her.

All of this had been whirling through her mind. And, so, Liz could not even register what was happening when Maria came crashing through the swinging door, the sheriff on her heels. She launched herself at Liz, nearly sending them both to the floor in her hysteria.

They were all meeting. All but Alex, who had an appointment with someone from the Swedish exchange program that he couldn’t get out of.

All but Alex…

"There’s…there’s been an accident." Liz could barely hear the sheriff’s soft words over Maria’s sobs.

Oh, my God.

It was Liz’s last coherent thought before the cold finally took complete possession of her heart. She was unaware of Isabel’s shrieks, of Michael grabbing his sister, shaking her, having to slap her across the face to pull her back from wherever it was she had gone. She was unaware of Maria grasping at her like a lifeline, looking for some sort of comfort, where none existed.

And then, her eyes very briefly met Max’s over Maria’s shoulder. She returned from the cold place. Somehow she came back.

He could fix this.

He looked lost, like he didn’t even know where to begin comforting her.

But Liz knew. There was one chance to save this. There was one chance to stop the cold permanently.

Her eyes locked with Max’s.

He closed his own briefly, seemed to know what she was asking of him. A shudder passed through his body, but he swallowed, hard, then got up.

"Take me to him."

***

Liz wasn’t sure how she just stood with her arm around Maria, supporting her, as she watched Max walk towards the ambulance where Alex lay. All she felt like doing was running after him, ordering him to fix it, fix what they had broken when she and the future version of him messed with the timeline.

Fix it, Max. Fix it.

But his gait was tentative, unsure. He didn’t think he could save Alex. Liz knew Max well enough to know this.

Anger. At Max. At Present Max and Future Max. She knew it was irrational, but she felt it anyway. And it was better than the cold. Anything was better than the cold.

He owed her this at least. He owed her her best friend. He had to be able to fix something!

But he was back too soon. Much too soon. Liz had never seen his face so white, even when he had told her about what had happened between him and Tess.

He looked like his entire world had ended. And he and Alex weren’t even that close.

Liz felt bile beginning to rise in her throat.

Oh, God.

He came to her first, his hand outstretched, his gaze begging her to absolve him of the fact that he could not fix it. But suddenly Isabel turned, and was running, her sobs filtering back through the still night. Max’s gaze followed her, torn.

"Go, Max," Liz ordered. She didn’t want him. He could not help her. Let him go after Isabel, where he could do some good. Maybe.

"Liz, are you sure?" Max asked, his tone low, afraid.

"It’s okay, Max." Valenti stepped forward. Liz felt the sheriff put his arm around her and Maria, turn them away. "Go after Isabel. I’ll take care of the girls."

But Max could not take his gaze from Liz’s. "Liz…"

"GO!"

He blinked. And then he went.

***

It was when the report came back that Alex committed suicide that Liz finally managed to come in from the cold.

She allowed herself to remain numb for two days. She saw no one except Maria. And Michael. She let Michael come in, because Maria wanted him.

She knew that Max wanted to see her. Michael even tentatively suggested it, but she rejected the idea out of hand. She could not handle Max right now - could not handle Max with his monumental problems, his immense guilt, and his inability to fix anything.

But when Michael told them about the report, the outrage that burned through her veins thawed them, temporarily anyway.

"It’s not true. It’s impossible."

And so she began to investigate. She found the picture of Alex with Leanna, with Alex’s face cut out. She found the receipt with the strange numbers on it.

She knew that Michael was following her around while she did it all, knew that Max had ordered him to, that he was worried about her.

He did not try to follow her himself.

Max got the picture. Max did not try to talk to her anymore - had not tried for a couple of days, at least since the funeral, where Liz sat motionless and frozen, pretending he wasn’t there.

She ignored the tortured expression on his face, the despair in his eyes.

He could have fixed it, and he didn’t. She had stood with him through thick and thin, through betrayal, had even lied, betrayed her own heart for a future version of him, and when she asked him to do one little thing for her, he failed.

He had done this - that future version. By changing the timeline, they killed Alex. Alex was supposed to live. He was at Max and Liz’s wedding.

And this Max could not even save him.

She would never forgive him for it.

Part 18 - Another Time, Another Life - Section G

"Liz, I really think you should see Max." Maria was curled up on Alex’s bed, pictures of their lost friend scattered around her. Mr. Whitman had let them in because she and Liz were working on a memorial spread for the yearbook, but they weren’t getting much accomplished. The talk had been all Czechoslovakian since they arrived, just like it always was.

Liz was sitting at Alex’s desk, scanning through the files on his computer, looking for any sort of clue as to what he was doing in the months leading up to his death, anything of which they might have been unaware. Maria knew this, but, as usual, she was being distracted by concerns not of this world.

Before, it would have been Liz who was distracted. She knew it, and it annoyed her now. Immensely. Both of their lives had centred around the aliens and their problems for so long, they couldn’t even seem to take a break from it in order to honour Alex. It only made Liz’s inner rage burn more brightly.

"No," Liz replied firmly. "I don’t have time to see him right now."

And she didn’t. She had found her first concrete clue about what might have happened to Alex that morning. She finally heard back from the Swedish Embassy about the building in the background of the picture of Alex and Leanna. It turned out that it had been torn down years before, and did not even exist anymore, which meant that Alex had never had his picture taken there. It also meant that Alex might never have gone to Sweden. Now she just needed to figure out where he had been during those months, and she might finally be getting somewhere.

"Liz, he’s losing it," Maria continued quietly. Liz tried to shut her out. She didn’t want to know about it. "Tess is getting weaker. If they don’t find a way off the planet soon, the baby is going to die." There was a long pause. "He needs you."

Liz’s head snapped around. "He needs me? When doesn’t he need me? When have I ever let him down?"

"Never, Liz." Maria looked pained. It made Liz even more angry that concern for Max of all people was hurting Maria. Maria had enough hurt, with losing Alex.

But Liz heard her underlying message. Liz was letting Max down now. She was letting them all down, by blaming Max for Alex’s death.

Why did no one understand that he had let her down?

But, of course they didn’t. Because they didn’t really understand that both she and Max were to blame for what had happened. Not this Max maybe, but Max nonetheless.

They didn’t understand that in that other time, Alex lived. And now he was dead.

Liz knew logically that it was not her Max’s fault that Alex had died. Truly she did. But it didn’t stop the way she felt. She knew that she was going to have to deal with Max eventually, but she couldn’t do it now.

Alex had always come second. Ever since Max saved her life that day, Liz had put everything else of import in her life second, including her best friends. Now she owed Alex. She owed it to him to make sure that his memory was not tarnished. She knew that he hadn’t killed himself and she refused to allow anyone to say so.

If it meant Max had to wait, then that’s what it meant.

Maria was sighing. She picked up a picture of Alex off the bed and stared down at it. "What are you looking for really, Liz?" she asked after another long silence. Liz had turned back to the computer, and was still trying to hack into Alex’s e-mail.

Liz turned her head. "Do you really want to know? Because this would be a lot easier with your help, Maria. You know that Alex did not kill himself."

"I know." Maria rubbed her eyes wearily. "I just don’t know what proving it is going to do, Liz. It won’t bring him back."

"It might not bring him back," Liz retorted. "But isn’t the truth a better memorial than this," she gestured towards the pictures disdainfully, "Can ever be?"

Maria’s hands were twisting in her lap. She took a deep breath, glancing down at the pictures, then back up at Liz. "Yes. Okay. You’re right."

Liz smiled for the first time in days. An intense feeling of relief flowed through her, making her lightheaded. It would be much easier with help. She was tired of being alone. This was something she and Maria should be doing together - for Alex.

Maria pulled up a chair, and joined her at the computer. "How is reading Alex’s e-mail going to help?" she asked after a few minutes of Liz putting in possible passwords with no luck. "Wouldn’t it make more sense to use one of the e-mails he sent us when he was supposedly in Sweden?"

Liz whipped her head around and stared at her. "You’re brilliant!" she exclaimed. Liz typed in her own e-mail address, pulling up her old messages. She clicked on one Alex had sent, then stared at it hopefully.

Maria was shrugging and rolling her eyes. "Well, that might be a bit of an exageration." She stared at the message, reading the words as Liz did. "He seemed so happy there," she finally said quietly. "Where do you think he was, really?"

Liz grimaced. She was no computer expert. She didn’t even know where to start finding out where this e-mail had been sent from.

Alex was the one who would have known how to find out.

She felt tears filling her eyes at the sheer irony of it. Liz brushed them away impatiently. She had not cried over Alex yet, and she did not intend to until she had preserved his memory.

"Lizzie, are you okay?" Maria’s arm had come around her shoulders. "It’s okay to cry you know."

"No, it’s not." Liz stood up resolutely. "We need help, Maria. Who do we know who can figure this out for us?"

"What about that guy Derek from Alex’s computer club?" Maria asked after a lengthy pause.

Liz smiled again. "Perfect. You go see him."

"What are you going to be doing?" Maria asked, looking confused.

"I’m going to see Tess," Liz replied. Something had just occurred to her, something she wanted to look into while Maria investigated the computer angle.

The more she looked into Alex’s death, the more the entire thing seemed to be shaping up into something almost illusionary. Alex had believed that he was in Sweden - had truly experienced Sweden. And who knew more about illusions than any of them?

Tess Harding.

Liz didn’t think for one minute that it would be easy to get answers out of her worst enemy, but it was worth a try.

She did not, in a million years, imagine that she would run into Max there. If she had, she never would have gone. But when Tess opened the door at the Valentis, there he was sitting on the couch, looking for all the world like he had been there for a long time, and for all the world like he intended to stay there for even longer.

Liz was in the process of trying to paste on a pleasant expression, hoping that catching Tess unguarded would help her cause. And so she had a half smile, half grimace on her face when Max jumped to his feet.

Their eyes met instantly.

The immediate expression of guilt that crossed his face at the sight of her only reinforced to Liz that something very strange and very wrong was going on. He clearly had no idea what to do or say. She saw a vein on the side of his neck convulse.

It looked bad. Very, very bad. He knew it. She knew it.

Was Max hanging out with Tess now? This had to be some sort of bad joke. Cosmically bad.

She just stared at him. She knew that her mouth was literally hanging open, but she couldn’t seem to make it close. When she looked at Tess’s face, at the triumph that she was making no effort to mask, Liz literally wanted to vomit.

She turned on her heels and ran. There was nothing else to do.

"Liz! Stop!"

She should have known he would come after her.

She didn’t want to stop, but she did. Because it would be easier in the long run just to deal with him now.
It would be easier to deal with him now and get it over with.

"Liz, please! It’s not what you think."

She did not turn around. He was standing close behind her, like he wanted to reach out and pull her back into his arms, but couldn’t do it.

His voice was low, desperate. "The baby…It’s dying, Liz. But we found out that if Tess and I are together, it…I don’t know... It feels better or something." There was a long pause. She didn’t say anything, just waited. "I know it sounds stupid, Liz, but we don’t understand anything about it. I connected with it again, and it seems to want me near it."

" He wants you near him," she said quietly. "We know he’s a boy, Max."

He was touching her now, holding her by the shoulders, gently turning her around. "God, Liz. Why won’t you let me see you? I’ve been so worried about you." She stared at his chest, refusing to raise her eyes to meet his. She knew they would be pleading with her to break down the ice wall she had erected between them, but she just couldn’t do it.

If she looked into his eyes she would see all the love that he felt for her, that she knew that he had for her, because she had seen it when they had made the ultimate connection, what seemed like years ago, but was really only a couple of weeks. The connection they had made in the desert, when they completely gave themselves over to the fact that they knew they belonged together. They barely managed to steal those moments before Tess brought their entire world crashing down on them. It had showed her how he felt about her, had only reinforced how she had felt about him - still felt about him if she was honest with herself.

But Alex’s death changed everything. They were responsible for Alex’s death. They did not deserve to be together, or happy.

She could not let go of her rage. If she did, she would never be able to do what had to be done for Alex’s sake.

"I think an alien killed Alex." Liz spat it out. She didn’t even know where it came from. It was the first time she even put the speculation into words. It had just been a tiny suspicion in the back of her mind, one that she had not even realized that she really had, until the words were coming out of her mouth.

Hurting him. Deliberately.

And the horror of it was that she knew now that it wasn’t because of Alex at all. It was because of Tess. Because he had been sitting on the couch at the Valentis, near her, for the baby’s sake, but near her.

She felt Max flinch away from her, like she had slapped him. Because, in a way, she had. The tone of her voice, the inflection, he had to know that she blamed him.

He was the alien she really blamed for Alex’s death.

"What…" He was choking on the words. "What do you mean? An a…an alien? Who? How?"

"Alex thought he was in Sweden," Liz replied shortly, refusing to look up at him still, refusing to see the devastation she knew she was causing. "He wasn’t. It had to have been a mindwarp."

There was a long pause as Max digested this. "Are you saying that you think Tess killed Alex?" he finally managed to ask, his tone low, strange. But she knew that he knew that that wasn’t what she really thought.

And so Liz didn’t answer.

The inflection in his voice told her that he was beginning to wonder if she had gone insane. "Liz, please look at me. Are you okay? Liz, please, look at me," he repeated, touching her chin lightly, gently forcing her to meet his eyes. "You have to know that Tess did not kill Alex."

She just stared at him. She did know it. Finally she licked her lips and said, "So you don’t hate her anymore."

Max blinked. "What?"

"You don’t hate her anymore, do you? You’ve been spending time with her, and she’s fooled you again, even though you know what she is, and what she did to you, and you don’t hate her anymore."

"Of course I hate her," Max hissed. "She is driving us apart! Can’t you see that, Liz? And you’re letting her!"

"No, Max. What we did is driving us apart," Liz told him firmly. "We killed Alex. We may not have held a gun to his head, we may not have driven his car off the road, but we did it." She could hear her voice beginning to rise hysterically. She was trying to stop it, trying to stay strong, but it was like she had no more control over herself.

Seeing him with Tess like that, like they were a happy couple, sitting around waiting for their baby to be born, it was the last straw. She was beginning to let go of her thin hold on her self-control. She wanted to hit him, hurt him, kill him, just like they had killed Alex.

"Liz…"

"It might not have been you, Max, but it would have been eventually. Because if we hadn’t screwed with the timeline, that would have been you who came back. And it was definitely me. We did it. Alex is dead because of us."

"Liz, this is crazy!" Max exclaimed. "Be mad at me because I couldn’t heal him if you have to be, but you can’t really blame yourself for this! There was no possible way you could have known this way going to happen! You had no choice. The world was going to end!" He ran his hands through his dark hair in frustration.

She had a flash of her own hands sliding through that black softness, only weeks before, when he took her places she hadn’t even imagined existed until she went there in his arms.

Liz closed her eyes, turning her back on him again. "I do, Max. Blame myself that is. And the problem is, while I have no choice in having to live with myself, I do have a choice where you’re concerned."

She could not believe that she was saying these things. It was like she was standing outside of herself, watching as she hurt him, watching as she did her best to hurt him.

This was Max. And she hated him.

But the horrible part was that she loved him too, and it made her hate him even more.

She actually felt the moment when he understood what she was saying to him. She felt the pain rip through him, as though she had shot him. But when he spoke, his voice was surprisingly calm. "What are you saying? Are you saying you want to break up?"

"I’m saying I want us to stop pretending that this is going to work," Liz whispered, loud enough so that he could hear her. "You are going to go back with her, and it’s what’s meant to be, and I’m okay with it, because I will never get past what we have done."

She wanted to walk away then. She really did. But she knew that he had the right to say something, anything to try and fix this. To fix her.

But he didn’t. He spoke, and she felt her heart stop, despite herself, because he truly sounded dead when he said, "I can’t believe you actually think this is going to make things better. Do you actually think that this is what Alex would have wanted? If you do, then I guess none of us really knew him at all. Because the Alex I thought I knew would not have wanted this. Not in a million years."

And then he was gone.

***

It was only when she managed to make it back to her room that she understood what she had done. She had broken Max’s heart, and she had broken her own. On purpose and without remorse.

She still felt none of it. It was what had to be. They needed to be punished. Both of them. They did not have the right to be happy when Alex was gone. It wasn’t fair. He was not meant to die and they had killed him, and so she refused to allow them to be happy.

Maria found her there hours later. She was excited. Liz stared at her, knowing that she was a zombie, but Maria didn’t notice because she had the information they needed. Las Cruces. Alex had been at the University of New Mexico for two months.

So they went. They found Leanna, then lost her, then Michael found them, and they found the book, which solved Max’s problem. It told them that the granolith could take them home.

Alex had been translating the book, which gave Max, and Michael, and Isabel, and Tess a way home. And was killed because of it. Presumably by Leanna, who had to be an alien.

The completely ironic thing was that Liz could not bring herself to care. She was right, Alex would be avenged, and all she wanted to do was go home, curl up in a ball, and die.

But Leanna was not the real killer. Oh no. That honour was reserved for her - and Max. Because now that she had proven that Alex’s death was not an accident, she had to begin to live with herself. There was no more quest to hide behind.

And she could not live with herself.

Michael told Liz that he and Max would take care of it, that he would tell Max everything, and that Max would probably want to see her later. Liz just nodded mechanically.

No one knew what Liz had done, that she had deliberately broken her own heart and destroyed Max’s.

He would not be coming to see her. He would leave, and they would both suffer, and maybe it would be enough to assuage her guilt.

Do you really think this is what Alex would have wanted?

Max’s voice haunted her, because she knew that he was right. There was no way that this is what Alex would have wanted, for her to deliberately destroy her only chance at happiness, because Alex had loved her.

But it was what she, Liz, wanted, because it was the only way she could live with herself.

***

"They’re gone."

Maria was at her window, peering in at her. Liz was lying on her back on the bed, staring straight up at the ceiling, wrapped in the frozen void she had somehow managed to reclaim.

She had broken down, finally, the night before, but now the cold was back. It was comforting.

Liz turned her head and took in her best friend’s tear-streaked face, the fact that she was wearing the same clothes that she was wearing yesterday when Liz last saw her, because Maria had come to her, demanding to know what she had done to Max, why he thought that she wouldn’t see him before they left.

"Did he send you?" Liz had asked wearily at the time.

"No. He told us to just leave you alone, that all you wanted was to be left alone," Maria snapped back. "I can see that he was right. You’re enjoying your pity party for one." And she left then, telling Liz that she wasn’t going to waste Michael’s last night on Earth with Liz, because Liz was throwing away the best thing that had ever happened to her, and if Alex could see her now, he would be ashamed.

"Alex didn’t want me with Max!" Liz wanted to scream after Maria. But she knew, deep down, that this was untrue. Alex had only ever wanted her to be happy, had only ever wanted what she wanted.

It was Liz who wanted to make herself miserable.

Now, as Liz turned her head to stare at the ceiling again, as she felt the bed dip beneath her when Maria joined her, angry at her still, but always her best friend, she felt Max’s loss like a physical pain.

Funny how, even though it was what she wanted, if didn’t make her feel any better.

"Oh God, Liz. It just hurts so much." Maria sobbed beside her. And, somehow, Liz found the strength to bring her arm around her, to try and comfort her. Because Maria should not be in pain. Maria had done nothing wrong.

It seemed to work, because Maria stopped crying eventually. And so they were both lying there in silent, stunned grief that they were actually living through this, when the phone rang.

It was Kyle.

***

"Can’t you make this rust-bucket go any faster?" Maria was shrieking from the passenger seat of her mother’s Jetta.

"It’s your rust-bucket!" Kyle yelled back.

"I still don’t understand this, Kyle. How did you remember all this?" Liz demanded from the back seat.

How could every thing have changed again so quickly? How could Liz’s entire being suddenly be centred on the fact that Max’s life was in imminent danger? All she could focus on was getting to him in time to save him, but all she had wanted to do an hour ago was hurt him. How could this be happening?

"I don’t know!" Kyle shrugged in frustration. "I was just sitting in her, my, whatever, the bedroom, and I remembered! She killed Alex, and I saw her do it, and she mindwarped me to forget it!"

The supreme irony was not lost on Liz. Max had flat out asked her if she thought that Tess killed Alex. She had not thought that, ccepted that it was some random alien named Leanna, had never dreamt that it was really Tess.

But how could she not have known? Because she knew what Tess was, knew what Tess had done to Max at the prom.

Yet, she had been so wrapped up in blaming herself, in blaming Max, that she let this crucial bit of logic fly right past her. And because of this fact, Max, and Michael, and Isabel were going to die. Because Tess was leading them into a trap. There was no other explanation for any of this. The whole pregnancy was a ploy to get them to take her home. She knew that none of them would ever go on their own. They needed a reason to do it. Max’s reason was the baby. Isabel’s was Max. And Michael’s was both of them.

But maybe it wasn’t a trap? Liz reflected now, her mind clearer than it had been since before Alex’s death, since before the prom actually. It was crystal clear now, like it had been after she and Max made love for the first time, joining together, their souls intertwining, touching the stars and tapping into something that very few people likely ever experienced.

And she had been willing to throw all of that away. Alex would never have forgiven her. What was she thinking?

But maybe Tess was right. Maybe this was what was supposed to be? Max and the others were supposed to go back, and would be welcomed with open arms. Because wasn’t that what their mother’s message from the orb said all those months ago - that the planet was waiting for them to return and free them?

Yet Liz knew this wasn’t true. Because if they were meant to go back, why had she and Max met? Why had their souls spoken to each other?

And Liz understood. Alex’s death was all a part of it, a way to drive the wedge between them. It was diabolical, but it made perfect sense. Tess understood better than anyone, it seemed, that, in the end, Liz would not give Max up over simple betrayal of herself.

It had taken the betrayal of her best friend for her to turn on him. And he hadn’t even done anything. Max had tried to heal Alex. He was a boy, could not bring back the dead, and was in no way to blame for what a future version of himself brought about through his meddling.

Liz could blame herself, but she had been wrong to blame Max.

She just hoped that she had a chance to tell him so. She glanced at her watch. According to Maria they were leaving at 7AM sharp. It was 6:50 and they still had ten more minutes at least before they reached the pod chamber.

And, in the end, it was too late. She could not save him.

There was a moment of breathless anticipation when she saw two figures standing on the rocks, below the pod chamber - or where the pod chamber used to be anyway. She gaped in amazement. The whole top of the mountain had been blown off, and was completely gone.

Liz threw herself out of the car, running as fast as she could, knowing that Maria and Kyle were behind her. She recognized Michael and Isabel, staring off into the sky. Hope was filling her veins, pushing her on.

He was still there. He had to be. Where was he? She scoured the rocks frantically, ready to throw herself at him, to beg his forgiveness.

It was only when she reached Michael and Isabel that she saw their devastated faces.

"He wouldn’t let us go. He shut us out of the pod chamber." Isabel was collapsing against Michael when Liz came to a dead stop beside them. "He left without us! How could he do this?"

But Liz knew how. He had known. Somehow he knew what was going to happen. And he had gone anyway, leaving his sister and his best friend behind, refusing to take them to their deaths.

He left to protect them all, believing that Liz hated him, and he was going to die thinking the same thing.

Part 19 - "Full of Grace" - Liz POV

The winter here’s cold and bitter,
It’s chilled us to the bone.
We haven’t seen the sun for weeks,
To long, too far from home.
I feel just like I’m sinking
And I claw for solid ground.
I’m pulled down by the undertow
I never knew I could feel so low.
Oh darkness I feel like letting go.

If all of the strength and all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I can love you much better than this.
Full of grace.
Full of grace,
My love.

It’s better this way, I said,
Having seen this place before.
Where everything we said and did hurts us all the more.
It’s just that we stayed
Too long in the same old sickly skin,
I’m pulled down by the undertow,
I never thought I could feel so low.
Oh darkness I feel like letting go.

If all of the strength and all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place,
I know I can love you much better than this.
Full of grace.

I know I can love you much better than this.
It’s better this way.

Sarah McLachlan

I become aware of my surroundings slowly. I think I may have passed out because my head is splitting when I slowly open my eyes.

The grief and despair that other version of myself felt when she realized that Max was gone…

It is still weighing down on me. I breathe in and out slowly, trying to convince myself that it did not happen in this life. Max is still here. He is safe.

It takes me a moment to realize that I am back in the desert. I sit up slowly, look around for Ava. She is sprawled to my left, her blonde-grey hair covering her face.

I realize that she was not the one who pulled me back.

Because, as I crawl towards her, my heart in my throat, I am aware that she is dead. And it is then that I see that we are not alone.

I stare at him, not understanding. What is he, of all people, doing here?

He is sitting on the hood of the Jetta, the crystal granolith balanced in his hand.

I did not immediately understood when Ava first told me that the spaceship that we all thought was the granolith was not. She had pulled the crystal out of an inside pocket of her leather jacket, explaining to me that it was the crystal that was the Holy Grail of Max’s people, not the spaceship. The spaceship was only one of many things built to accommodate the granolith, to take advantage of its power.

I did not truly understood until she placed it in my hand and transported me to another life.

And now I am back, and Sean Deluca is sitting on the hood of Maria’s mother’s car, staring at it intently, like he actually understands what he is holding.

He must see my movements out of the corner of his eye, because he turns and grins at me. "Hey. You’re finally awake! I was beginning to worry about you, Parker."

I swallow, continuing to stare at him. "Sean," I reply carefully. "What are you doing here?" I glance at Ava. "What did you do to her?"

"Nothing she didn’t have coming to her," Sean answers, his blue eyes darkening momentarily. He hops off the hood of the car, moving towards me and extending his hand. I frown at it for a moment, then allow him to grab me and haul me to my feet.

"What are you doing here?" I repeat. We are still in the middle of the desert, where Ava brought me to activate the granolith. How on Earth had he found us here? And why?

"I came for this, of course." He grins. "And you." He adds, seemingly as an afterthought. "Because when I destroy this, she’ll die. But, if I don’t do something about you, she’ll still pop up again eventually, since you and that bastard can’t seem to keep your hands off of each other." His smile disappears and I take a step backward. The expression on his face…

For a moment, I am absolutely positive that he hates me. But that’s impossible! This is Sean Deluca, Maria’s cousin, my annoying admirer.

I feel a shiver descend my spine. "Sean, what are you talking about?"

"I’m talking about you and Max Evans," Sean tells me coldly. "I was so sure that I had finally driven a permanent wedge between you two, and that he was actually going to go with her this time, willingly, and take Michael and Isabel with them. But, then, somehow, you spoiled it again."

I shake my head, trying to clear it. "What?" I am so confused by now, it’s all I can muster up the energy to ask weakly.

"The damn spaceship doesn’t work properly unless all of them are in it, Liz. It crashes every time there isn’t a complete complement of the Royal Four inside." He rolls his eyes. "I’d imagine my poor mother is stranded somewhere in Canada right about now. It’s what happened last time."

I just stare at him. He is talking about spaceships like he knows the truth about Max and the others.

"But someone’s been working against me the whole time." Sean sighs, indicating Ava. "I never realized it was my mom’s doppelganger. I told Khivar we should have gotten rid of her a long time ago. But he thought she was useless after Nicholas killed Rath and Lonnie."

His mom’s doppelganger? What the hell is he talking about?

Because, I know now, without a shadow of a doubt, that Sean Deluca is not Sean Deluca at all. And not because of the cavalier way he’s talking about spaceships, and the Royal Four, and Khivar, and all the strange terms we are only just becoming used to ourselves. The terms we never talk about in front of anyone.

It’s because I know.

All my memories of Sean, growing up together, him driving Maria insane in that typical big brother figure way, me crying in my room when he got sent off to jail… They’ve all disappeared.

It’s hard to explain. I remember them. I know I used to have them as memories, but somehow, they aren’t memories anymore. I never lived them. It makes very little sense, but it’s what is.

All I do know for sure is that he is not Sean Deluca, that Maria does not have a cousin, and it is becoming ever more apparent that he is somehow my enemy.

"So have you done it yet?" Sean demands, clearly not caring one way or another that I am staring at him with my mouth hanging open. "Do I have to kill you, or can we try and make a little deal here? Because, I hate to admit it, Liz, but I do like you. I sort of understand what Max sees in you, and you remind me of…" He trails off, a sour expression on his face. "If it hasn’t happened, I don’t have to kill you," he finishes.

"Done what?" I whisper. I can feel my knees shaking. I back away from him another step. He lets me, is just gazing at me, looking curiously annoyed.

He rolls his eyes again. "Conceived her," he snaps. He gestures towards Ava again. "I’m assuming she told you about her, so don’t play dumb with me."

And I understand. He is talking about Serena. My daughter. My child with Max.

He is somehow here to stop her from ever being born.

And somehow, he is succeeding. He has changed everything since he first appeared on the scene, so that Max and I are nowhere near being in a position that our daughter will ever be created.

I don’t know what to say to him. It is clear that I am going to be instantly killed if he thinks I’m pregnant, but it is also clear that he is not entirely stable, and that he might kill me anyway.

The stupidest thing of all is that I’m not really scared about that. What I’m really scared of knowing is who he is. Because I am beginning to have an idea. The pieces of what he has said are slowly beginning to fall into place.

"Who are you?" I ask, desperate to know, but at the same time not wanting to know at all.

He tosses the granolith into the air, making a big show of barely catching it as it flies toward the ground. I stop myself from diving for it, because he has made it clear that my daughter’s life is somehow attached to that crystal.

I know that he is teasing me, and try to ignore it. "Who are you?" I repeat, more strongly this time.

He raises an eyebrow, quirking another grin at me. I can’t believe that I once thought that smirk was sexy. I must have been insane, because now he just looks sleazy and scary. "Who do you think I am?"

"I think you’re Lazar." I narrow my eyes at him. "I think you’re the one who helped Tess kill Alex."

He shakes his head, looking pleased. "Right on the first try. You are a little smarty-pants aren’t you, Parker? Must be where Rena got her brains, ‘cause it sure as hell weren’t from her daddy. He’s shown how dumb he is in two lifetimes, and at least three timelines by my last count." He laughs smugly at his own joke.

I ignore his very deliberate insult of Max. I can tell he is trying to make me mad, just because it amuses him.

"Do you know my daughter?" He clearly does, and I am curious despite myself. It reminds me of when Future Max came. I know I’m not supposed to find out about these things, but who in their right mind wouldn’t want to know about their future, about their children?

"I know her well enough to want her dead," Sean replies darkly. "Her existence has ruined my life."

"So you’re from the future." Obviously he is. I even think I know exactly who he is. Because if Ava is his mother’s doppleganger… I bite my lip. "Are you Tess’s son?"

"Right again." He lifts a hand, and traces it down my face. I flinch away from him. He doesn’t look offended. "And Max’s too," he sneers. "Dear old Dad. It’s been really hard not to just kill him, you know." He sighs, shaking his head. "But Mom did make me promise. She still wants him for some reason that I have yet to understand." He pauses, smirking again. "I guess I did have to wait until they got it on too." He lifts a lock of my hair, making me have to move away from him again. "’Cause wouldn’t it have been a tragedy if I’d never been born?" He lifts an eyebrow. "But there’s nothing really stopping me now, is there?" he asks, his tone pleased.

I feel like my entire world is closing in on me. "Max is not your father." I don’t understand how I say it so calmly. But Ava told me he wasn’t, that Max had not fathered Tess’s baby.

"Did she tell you that?" He shrugs towards Ava. "That’s what they try to tell themselves, but I know the truth. Once your kid came along, they didn’t need me anymore. I think it made my father happy to pretend I never existed. Because if I exist, then his precious Serena isn’t the heir to the throne any longer." His expression darkens again. "But I do exist. And they’re certainly going to know it when I’m done here."

He lifts the crystal up, staring at it for a long moment. Then he looks at me. "So, Parker. Are we going to make a deal, or do I have to kill you?"

He is absolutely crazy. I can see it in his eyes, in the calm way he speaks of murder. Because the worst part is, I believe him when he says that he doesn’t want to kill me. I truly believe that he likes me.

And he will kill me anyway.

All I know is that I have to buy time. My entire soul is already screaming for Max. I know that he is going to find me. He has to, because this is not supposed to happen. I am supposed to bear a daughter. I am not supposed to die at the hands of a maniac from the future - one I almost slept with for God’s sake!

One who is the son of my worst enemy, and who may still be the child of the person I most love in the world.

"How did you turn out this way?" I whisper, shaking my head in horror. "He went with you. You had him. He was hers - your father. I saw it happen. I lived it."

Sean stares at me for a full minute, then says, "So you didn’t see it all then. You didn’t see what happened." He looks momentarily uncertain. "You don’t understand why I have to do this."

"No." I can’t believe it, but my heart almost goes out to him - the person who wants to kill me, and who wants to make sure that my daughter never exists. He stands there looking lost for a moment, sad. And then he narrows his eyes.

"I’m not evil you know, Liz," he finally comments. "I’m just trying to claim what’s mine. My father is the evil one. And your daughter is following right in his footsteps." He sounds like he’s reciting a party line, like it’s something he’s been told every day of his life, and he has no choice but to believe it.

I am listening to him, but what I am really doing is looking for a way to keep him talking. I need to give Max more time. Because I don’t care about any of this. I know none of it is true. He has been taught to hate the wrong people, and there is nothing I can do to change that right now.

It is too late for Lazar. But it is not too late for me, nor for my daughter.

I need him to think that I want to believe him. "Sean…" I swallow. "Is it all right if I call you that?" He nods. "I don’t want to die. I’m only eighteen years old."

He truly does look sorry this time. "I know, Liz. I know you tried to stay away from him. I’m sorry it has to be this way."

"But you said yourself, it doesn’t," I remind him. "As long as I stay away from Max." I bring my hands up, run them through my hair wearily. "I can you know. Because I can’t be with him anyway."

He frowns. "Why not?"

"He really slept with Tess. And…" I pause, really feeling the pain as the memories of why I can never be with Max return. "When I kiss him, I get flashes of it," I say in a rush. "There is no way I can possibly bear that. We can’t ever be together."

He thinks about that for a minute, then shrugs. "It’s not good enough, Liz. I know how you two are. I’ve heard all the stories. You’ll get over it in time. Because you’re meant to be together." He says this last bit sarcastically, but it sends a flash for hope so instantly to my heart, that I almost can’t hide it from him.

Despite everything, Max and I are meant to be together. And clearly we’ve chosen to be, in at least two life-times. It makes me think that things might not be completely hopeless for us here. Because there was no question that Max slept with Tess in the timeline I was visiting, even if by accident. And there were no flashes involved then. Maybe we could make them stop somehow.

But I need to know for sure that we did end up together in that timeline, and how. I could just ask Sean, but his entire perspective is tainted by his hatred for Max, and his loyalty to Tess.

I need to see it for myself.

"Then let me go back," I suggest, touching the granolith, which is still in his hand. "Let me see what happens. If I know, maybe it will help me to stay away from him."

Sean frowns again. "I don’t know, Liz…"

I force a smile. "Sean, you’ve already told me you don’t want to kill me." I reach out, trying not to flinch when I take his hand and squeeze it. "I believe you. I’m even beginning to believe you that maybe you’re not the bad guy. But I need to see it for myself."

He stares at me for a little longer, then shrugs. "Well, it can’t do any harm I guess. I can always just kill you after."

And, before I can even get my bearings, he thrusts the granolith into my hands. The last thing of which I am aware is his smirking face. I even think I hear him say "Have fun!" as he fades from my consciousness.

Part 20 - Another Time, Another Life - Part H

September 2001

The weeks that followed Max’s departure with Tess were, without a doubt, the worst of Liz Parker’s life.

For the first week, it was all she could do to continue existing. Even the mere thought of breathing was almost too tiring to contemplate. The knowledge that she had killed Max, as surely as if she put a gun to his chest and pulled the trigger, was practically suffocating her. She endured nightmares about it - dreams of Max arriving on his planet with Tess, of Max being seized by faceless beings, and of Max’s life being extinguished in waves of pain and sorrow.

And in every single dream Max died cursing her name.

By the second week, Maria managed to talk her out of her bedroom though.

"Liz, your parents are getting ready to send you to some hospital. They think you’re having some kind of emotional break-down," her best friend told her. Maria was sitting on the side of her bed, gently pushing Liz’s hair away from her forehead. "And I think they’re close to right. You can’t let this happen, chica. It’s the last thing Max would have wanted. He had to go. You both knew it. Just because you were so mad at him when he went, it doesn’t mean that it’s your fault he left."

Liz did not believe Maria, but she understood that she had to make a pretense of living her life, if only because she still had one. Which was more than she could say for either Max or Alex. She was responsible for both of them losing their lives, and she had no right to waste hers.

So she went through the motions. She worked at the Crashdown for the entire summer, barely functioning, but still trying. She forced herself to eat, forced herself to exercise, forced herself to sleep well. She had, ironically, never been healthier than during this summer - during the summer when she only wanted to allow herself to waste away. She even allowed Kyle to take her to the movies a few times, allowed herself to hang out with Maria, who was the only one with whom she let herself talk about Max and Alex.

It made it somewhat better to talk about them. She knew that she didn’t have the right to mourn them, being responsible as she was for their deaths. But she was not going to forget them either. Not like Michael and Isabel were both trying to do. She saw them doing it, saw Isabel’s fury at her brother for leaving her behind, felt Michael’s rage at himself that he couldn’t stop Max, that he couldn’t protect him, saw them both decide that forgetting him was easier than mourning him.

And so Liz Parker survived.

It wasn’t until the waning weeks of July that she realized why - that there had been a reason behind her seeming need to take care of herself.

She was sitting at the counter in the Crashdown, more exhausted than usual after a busy night serving tables. Her journal was open in front of her, but she could not found the strength to write in it. It didn’t help anymore anyway.

Michael and Maria were sitting close together in a booth nearby, Michael with a huge sundae in front of him. They were arguing, as usual, but with that underlying note of affection that made Liz smile despite herself. At least someone had something to be happy about. Her best friend and Max’s were more in love than ever, having spent practically every waking minute together since Max and the murderess had left in the granolith.

"Michael, do you have to spoil a perfectly good bowl of ice cream by dumping that stuff on it?" Maria asked him. "It’s criminal, I tell you."

"There is no point in eating anything without Tabasco," Michael replied through a mouthful of ice cream.

It was then that Liz turned her head, her mouth suddenly watering so intensely, she blinked. She zeroed in on the Tabasco bottle in Michael’s hand, then licked her lips.

The next thing she knew she found herself in the kitchen of the restaurant. She pulled a carton of ice cream out of the freezer and dumped in a full bottle of Tabasco. It was only as she was licking the last drops off of her spoon several minutes later that she even realized what she was doing.

And she knew why almost instantly.

Maria found her still on the floor of the back room, her knees pulled up to her chest, her forehead resting lightly on them, completely in a daze.

"Lizzie? Are you okay?" Maria slid to the floor beside her, throwing her arm around her shoulders. "You left kind of quickly. Are you crying?"

But when Liz lifted her head, Maria’s own eyes widened. Because Liz was crying. But she was also smiling so brightly, Liz knew that her best friend wondered if she had finally lost her mind.

"Liz, what is it?" Maria asked, sounding scared.

"Maria, I haven’t had my period in three months," Liz replied.

Maria frowned at her, not understanding. She glanced down at the empty carton of ice cream and the Tabasco bottle in confusion. "And you think Tabasco is somehow going to rectify this?" she asked wryly. Liz saw the light appear in Maria’s eyes when she suddenly understood though. Liz did not blame her for being dense. She herself had ignored all the signs for close to four months.

"Liz, are you…?" Maria trailed off, her expression a mixture of terror and shock.

"I think so," Liz replied, her heart so light, she almost felt giddy with it. "I’ll need to find out for sure, but I think I am, Maria."

Of course, Liz knew that she wasn’t supposed to be happy about this turn of events. She was only seventeen years old after all. She had her entire life in front of her. Her parents were going to freak out. The entire town was going to freak out, especially if they found out it was Max’s, who everyone assumed had run away with Tess, although no one really understood why.

How was she supposed to raise a baby?

But this did not stop the absolute joy that permeated throughout Liz’s soul from the minute she realized what was happening to her body.

She was going to give birth to Max Evans’s child. She and Max had created a life in that one perfect moment they spent together, before everything had fallen apart again. Max was going to live on through this child.

And she could not be anything but happy about it. There was no other emotion to feel. Because, from the minute she became aware of the tiny life growing in her own young womb, she loved it.

The reaction of the others was mixed at best.

Her parents did freak, and blamed Max, of course. Liz actually though that her mother would kill him if she could get her hands on him. Her father was just deeply disappointed, and almost betrayed because she hadn’t been more careful. It upset Liz, but she still could not be sorry.

Maria was scared. Liz knew that she was trying to hide it, and was trying to be supportive of Liz, but she still had many fears regarding the aliens, and what being with them really meant. She and Michael had not yet slept together, and were actually still probably months, if not years away from it. But Maria had not seen into Michael’s soul - not in the way Liz had seen into Max’s, in a way that made her know that this was a good thing, that her life was not in danger because of their child.

Michael did not comment one way or the other. But Liz noticed that he seemed to hang around the Crashdown a lot more than usual, which was saying a lot since he practically lived there anyway. And when she kept finding glasses of milk in strange places, reminding her of how he treated Isabel when they all thought that Max’s sister was pregnant with Michael’s child, she knew that he was happy about it, and that he intended to protect her if it was the last thing he ever did.

The only person whose reaction scared Liz was Isabel’s. Max’s sister was furious at her brother, in a way Liz didn’t think was entirely stable. She was doing her best to be supportive of Liz, and seemed interested in the child’s health and growth, but Max having abandoned Liz in this state seemed like the last straw for Isabel. Liz had a feeling that, deep down, her anger on behalf of Liz’s baby was more likely anger on behalf of herself - anger that Max had promised he would never leave her behind, and he had, and there was no way to change that fact.

Strangely, or perhaps not, it was to Kyle that Liz found herself turning more and more. Kyle was absolutely devastated by the role that he had played in Alex’s death, even though was in no way his fault. And Liz also knew that he missed Tess. As much as he didn’t want to, as much as he now hated her, she had gotten to him, had been like a sister to him, if not more than that. And he hated himself for missing her. Helping Liz, being there for her, was his way of making up for it.

He went as far as to ask Liz if she wanted him to pretend that the baby was his. After all, no one would be totally shocked if they played it that way. Everyone already knew that they had supposedly spent the night together way back in October.

She was touched, and actually considered it but, in the end, she could not do it. It felt like a betrayal of Max to even pretend that this child belonged to anyone but him. Because Liz did not want anyone to think that she had ever truly loved anyone but him.

So, even though very few even knew about her present state yet - she was still hiding it well under baggy clothes and fewer shifts in her revealing Crashdown uniform - when it did become clear, although she was not going to publicize who the father was, if anyone asked her directly, she would not lie.

The summer passed quickly after Liz realized the truth. Her entire being was focused on the impending birth of her child, on how she was going to look after it, on what this meant for her future. While she sometimes felt mildly panicky, wondering if she was capable of raising a baby alone - because even though her parents did not throw her out, they were not exactly overjoyed, and so Liz already planned that she was going to move out as soon as she could - her child was not going to live somewhere it as not entirely wanted - she knew that she could do it. Had she not survived everything else fate had dropped in her lap? The destiny message, Future Max, losing Max and then being with him again, killing Alex, virtually killing Max too…she had survived it all. Perhaps not well, but she survived. From the moment Max saved her life, only two years before, although it seemed far, far longer, she had realized that she was capable of surviving anything.

And now she actually had something to live for again. Her child. Even the thought of the baby was enough to bring a feeling of untold serenity over her entire being, as though this had all been predestined, that every horrible thing that she and her friends had endured was to bring them to the point where they would be ready to accept and raise this child as it was meant to be raised.

So, on a warm day in early September, Liz stepped wearily through the doors of West Roswell High School, having entered the period of her pregnancy when she was always tired, ready to again face the future, to learn as much as she could before her child came into the world. Isabel helped her to arrange her schedule so that she would have enough credits to graduate in January, rather than in June with the rest of her class. The baby was due a few weeks after Christmas, and so at least it would not be born to a mother who had not even finished high school.

Liz paused at her locker, grabbing a few books, and then made her way to her first period English class. It was the second week of school, so she already knew that Maria and Michael were both in the class, which was a relief. She had already had to miss a day because she did not feel well. At least she would stay caught up. It was even a blessing because Michael now felt like he had to go to school - or at least to English - to make sure that Liz didn’t fall behind. It made Liz smile just thinking about it.

When Liz entered the room, she could see that a crowd gathered at the back of the room around someone’s desk. She glanced curiously towards them, but went to her own place. She had no real interest in the latest high school gossip after all. She had much more important things to worry about.

Neither Michael or Maria had yet arrived. Liz sighed as she maneuvered herself into a desk. While she was still not very big, her stomach had increased considerably in size lately. It was only going to be days before everyone started to realize that Liz Parker was pregnant. While Liz was dreading the revelation, in some ways it would be a relief. Her teachers already knew after all. The gossip was going to be hell after the other students found out, but at least it would end eventually. But until the news leaked out, the impending worry was still giving her butterflies in her stomach.

Liz opened her copy of Hamlet, and was trying to finish up the questions that were assigned the day before, when part of the conversation towards the back of the room reached her ears.

She rolled her eyes when she realized that it was Pam Troy speaking. It was too much to hope that Liz wouldn’t share any classes with the most annoying girl in the senior class. She had heard only yesterday that Pam’s family had taken an extended holiday up north over the summer, and that she was due back today. Until this moment, it had completely slipped Liz’s mind, because it wasn’t really important one way or the other.

But when Liz finally tuned into Pam’s words, she realized that the level of Pam’s tone meant that she wanted Liz to overhear the story with which she was enthralling her audience. "…asked Max what he and Tess were doing there." Pam was saying, her voice grating on Liz’s words until she fully understood her words.

Liz’s heart stopped. "But when I saw Tess, I understood," Pam continued. "She’s pregnant! And I’m talking huge. She’s probably popped that sprog by now ‘cause this was a couple of months ago." Pam’s tone was gleeful. "Can you believe it? Perfect Max Evans got the girl pregnant, and they ran away because of it!"

Liz was barely breathing by this time. She could feel herself about to keel over. She forced herself to gulp in air, brought her hands to her temples, pressing hard. She knew that everyone at the back of the room was now staring at her. She needed out of this classroom immediately, if not sooner.

Her eyes focused suddenly when she saw movement to her left. She realized that Michael was standing over her. "Liz, let’s go," he whispered. He had obviously arrived sometime during Pam’s story, because his face was so white, she thought he too might be on the verge of passing out.

Liz allowed him to take her hand. She followed him out the door, refusing to look back at the other students, who had all suddenly gotten extremely quiet.

They ran into Maria in the hallway, about to enter the room. "What’s going on you guys?" she asked, her tone instantly afraid when she caught a look at their faces. "Lizzie, are you okay? Are you sick?"

She was amazed by how calmly she answered her best friend. Every part of her being was screaming at the moment after all. "Max. Pam Troy saw him somewhere a couple of months ago. With Tess."

"What?" Maria screeched. "Has she been vacationing in the Dagobah system?"

Liz felt Michael’s hand tighten around hers. He seemed to be quickly regaining control of himself. He glanced around to make sure no one had overheard her. "Maria, be quiet," he ordered. "We need Isabel. This can’t be true."

Maria looked abashed at her outburst. Her arm came around Liz’s shoulders from the other side. "It can’t be. You’re right. Max would have called us if they hadn’t…if they hadn’t made it back. We know how much Pam hates you, Lizzie. She’s just trying to get to you."

Liz stared at them both. "Why? Why would she make something like this up, Maria? Sure, we’re not exactly friends, but she was just stating what she saw. Yes, she was trying to get to me, but really, why would she lie?"

Michael and Maria exchanged a look. "I don’t know," Michael finally admitted.

Liz closed her eyes, leaning her head back against a nearby locker. "So we’re just going to have to face it then. Max never left, but he didn’t call anyone."

She was surprised at the way her heart felt like it was cracking down the middle. She examined this fact mentally in an almost detached manner. She had truly believed that it was not capable of being any more hurt than it had been already.

But had it not started healing the minute she had found out about her baby? And so it was just whole enough to be able to break all over again.

There was complete silence between the three of them for what felt like forever, as they all tried to digest what this meant. The hallway emptied, the last bell having rung moments before.

"Liz, what do you want us to do?" This came from Michael, making Liz jump slightly. She eyed him for a moment. She realized that this was the first time Michael Guerin had ever asked for her advice, for her opinion. But she thought she understood.

This final betrayal by Max had turned Michael against him. It was written there in black and white, all over his face. He looked furious.

Liz, the mother of the only child of his leader that Michael was willing to accept, was now in charge. It shocked her, frightened her. She did not want the responsibility.

She did not want them to turn on Max. Because, even though her heart was in agony over what he had done, she understood why he had done it. After all, had she not always understood Max better than she understood even herself?

Just as he had always understood her. Which was why he was staying away. As far as Max knew, Liz still hated his guts. He knew that they had all had to let go of him when he left with Tess, and probably thought that it was better this way. Coming back to Roswell with the mother of his child would only hurt them more. He didn’t even know that it was Tess who had killed Alex, and he had no idea of the state in which Liz presently found herself.

She knew, deep in her heart, that if he knew these things, he would come back. She knew it. She knew him.

And so it was up to Liz to fix this. Because she was the one who had assured that they were this messed up in the first place.

"We have to find him," Liz stated clearly, firmly, knowing in her heart that it was the right thing to do. "We need to bring him home."

Even if she couldn’t be with him ever again, Max needed to come home.

And Tess needed to come with him.

Part 21 - Max POV - "Elsewhere"

I love the time and in between,
The calm inside me,
In the space where I can breathe,
I believe there is a distance I have wandered,
To touch upon the years,
Reaching out and reaching in.
Holding out, holding in.

I believe this is heaven
To no one else but me,
And I’ll defend it
Long as I can be left here
To linger in silence.
If I choose to
Would you try to understand?

I know this love is passing time,
Passing through like liquid.
I am drunk in my desire.
But I love the way you smile at me,
I love the your hands reach out
And hold me near.
I believe…

I believe this is heaven
To no one else but me,
And I’ll defend it
Long as I can be left here
To linger in silence.
If I choose to
Would you try to understand?

Oh the quiet child
Awaits the day
When she can break free
The mold that clings like desperation.
Mother can’t you see
I’ve got to live my life
The way I feel is right for me.
Might not be right for you
But it’s right for me.

I believe this is heaven
To no one else but me
And I’ll defend it as long
As I can be left here to linger in silence.
If I choose to
Would you try to understand?

I would like to linger here in silence.
If I choose to
Would you understand?

Sarah McLachlan

"Max, this isn’t working," Maria says after we’ve driven in circles around town for close to two hours. She has called her mother on her cell a couple of times to see if Sean has come back, but it is clear that Mrs. Deluca has no idea what she’s talking about. She doesn’t remember Sean at all, and keeps demanding that Maria come home, until Maria finally hangs up on her, grimacing.

I know Maria’s right - it isn’t working - but I don’t know what else to do. "I know he’s around here somewhere, Maria. I just know it. We need to find him - and soon."

The fact that Maria’s mom doesn’t remember Sean anymore…It is totally freaking me out. It is becoming ever more clear that he has let go of his cover entirely, and is now out in the open. He obviously has no intention of ever going back to the Delucas. Which means that his mission is nearing its end.

And, while I still don’t feel like Liz is in any particular danger right now, I don’t know how soon that is going to change. Because, until I figure out who he is, how he is connected to Tess, and why they both want Liz, we’re never going to be able to defeat him.

I know he’s not Khivar. I know it in my bones. The way he touched me earlier…I could feel his hatred, but there was something else there too. I am only now remembering it as I tried to figure out how I know that he is not my enemy, even though he thinks he is.

He touched me as though he meant to kill me, but also like it was the one thing on Earth he most wanted to do. That he couldn’t quite believe that he was allowed to.

It was very, very weird. Because the fact that his gift seems to run in the vein of the mind-warp, and the fact that he was definitely working with Tess, is making it that I am close to coming to a conclusion about who he is that is almost too disturbing to even contemplate.

It can’t be.

But, in my heart, I know that it is.

Because don’t I know better than anyone, thanks to the visit from that idiotic future version of myself, that it is possible?

I still push the thought aside though. Because, if it is true, it means that we are totally screwed. Because there is no way I am going to be able to kill him. He’ll be completely in control, and I will have no choice but to just watch whatever it is he wants to do.

Because if he is who I think he is…

I reach into the inside pocket of my jacket, pull out the granolith and narrow my eyes at it. How could one little piece of crystal cause so much trouble?

I wonder, if I destroy it right now, will everything somehow fix itself? Will everything go back to the way it’s supposed to be? Because all it has done is cause problems - first on Antar, and now here on Earth.

Getting rid of it would probably be a blessing.

"So Max, do you really think he’s Khivar?" Maria is asking. She sounds afraid again.

I turn my head and look at her, swallowing hard. "Maria, take this," I order, putting the granolith in her lap before she can even answer me.

"Why? What’s wrong?" She is staring down at in fearfully, like she expects it to explode or something.

"I think that’s how he got here," I tell her. "With that. Which makes me really want to break it. And I know that’s not the right thing to do. So just hold onto it please."

"Okay," she replies, still sounding confused. But I watch in satisfaction when she opens her purse and tucks it away.

We continue to drive in silence, both lost in our own thoughts, when a piercing ringing practically makes us both jump out of our skins.

Maria is twisting around, looking for the source of the noise. It is, of course, a cell phone. And it’s not hers.

She finds it under the seat. I frown. We are in my parents’ car and they don’t have a cell, my father being something of a Luddite.

"It’s Liz’s," Maria says, holding it up in confusion.

I frown. "She must have dropped it earlier," I guess. When she jumped out of the car like the bats of hell were after her from seeing those flashes of me with Tess. The guilt, which I have managed to suppress during the past few hours during the search for Liz, comes rushing back.

The phone is still ringing. "Answer it!" I tell Maria impatiently. The noise is beginning to seriously grate on my nerves.

"What if it’s her parents?" Maria asks reasonably. "What am I supposed to say?"

"I don’t know. But we’re going to have to tell them something eventually anyway. If we don’t find her," I add when Maria looks like she is about to flip out. "Which we will."

Maria grimaces, but hits the talk key on the phone. "Hello?" she asks tentatively. There is a pause. "No, this is her friend. Liz left her phone with me. Who’s this? Why are you talking so quietly?" she asks, beginning to sound suspicious. "Max? Yeah, he’s here. Just a sec." She holds the phone out. "It’s a girl. She says she needs to talk to either you or Liz."

I frown again. "Why is someone calling me on Liz’s cell?"

"Max, do I look like I know?" Maria demands impatiently. We are seriously beginning to get on each other’s nerves, our worry for Liz taking its toll. "Just talk to her."

I sigh, taking the phone. "Hello?" I keep my eyes pasted to the road.

"Is this Max?" She’s whispering. I can barely hear her.

"Yeah. Who is this?" I demand, beginning to get a little paranoid now.

"It’s Jennifer Coleman." She is still talking in a low voice, like she’s scared someone is going to overhear her.

I start in surprise. "Hi," I reply. "What’s up?" This can’t be good. Not good at all. I was sure after Liz and I left the girl we had all known as Leanna hours before that, in her mind, if she never saw either us again, it would be too soon.

"I…I didn’t know whether I should call you or not," she tells me, sounding scared still. "It took me this long to work up the courage," she adds. "I was thinking I should stay out of this…but then I looked at that picture of me and Ray together and…I just had to do it. I owe him. Because I let those people find him."

By now my heart is in my throat. I can feel that I am not concentrating on the road, and should not be driving. "Hold on one second, Jennifer." I try to keep my voice smooth, soothing. "I’m driving. I just want to pull over so that I can give you my complete attention."

I pull the car to the side of the road. We are on some residential side street now, having continued to cruise the streets of Roswell aimlessly, although why I am not sure. I know by now that Liz is nowhere near here.

"What’s going on?" I ask after I have set the car carefully in park. The last think I need right now is to crash another car, when I am still supposedly grounded for destroying the Jeep. I can feel Maria’s anxious eyes on me, as it has apparently dawned on her who I am talking to.

"That picture that you showed me this afternoon," Jennifer tells me, her breath short. "I didn’t look at it too closely. You know the one with you two in it… and Ray and the girl you wanted me to identify."

The prom picture. "Yeah. I know the one you mean." I try not to sound impatient. "What about it?"

"Liz dropped it on her way out. I just found it."

"Oh. Okay." I sigh. "It’s okay. I think there are other copies…"

"No. That’s not what I mean. I really looked at it again." She is beginning to sound impatient now, like she thinks I am incredibly dense. "At the other people in it, I mean." There is a pause. "I recognized someone else. Someone I once saw with Ray…er, Alex, I mean," she amends, clearly now trying to think of our friend by his real name. Because he, at least, deserves that.

I know who’s in the picture of course, although I don’t remember exactly who is standing where. There were only two other guys in it besides me and Alex. Michael and Kyle. It had to have been one of them. "What does he look like?" I ask, although I can already guess what she’s going to tell me.

"He’s standing behind the blonde girl. The one who came here. He has brownish hair. Not the guy in the apron."

Kyle then. I’m right. So apparently Kyle was mind-warped for a lot longer than any of us ever imagined. Because I am pretty damn sure Kyle doesn’t remember visiting Las Cruces, or seeing Alex there.

This is getting more and more complicated by the minute.

"Max? Max, are you still there?"

"Yeah. Listen I have to go, Jennifer. Thanks for calling."

"Am…Max, do I need to be worried about anything?" she asks, sounding scared again.

"Not if I have anything to say about it. Thank you. You’ve been a really big help," I tell her, meaning it. "I’ll be in touch."

"Well?" Maria is waving her hands in the air impatiently as I hang up. I hand her the phone.

"Call the sheriff," I instruct her. "Tell him to meet us back at his house."

"Why? Max, what’s going on?"

"Kyle’s life is in danger, Maria," I tell her as I pull the car back onto the road. "Just call. Please. I’ll tell you in a minute. Call Izzy and Michael too."

I glance at her. She looks freaked again. "Okay," she agrees, without further argument.

As soon as she has taken care of contacting the others, she pounces on me again. "Tell me. Now."

So I do. She sits there, taking it in, a perplexed expression on her face. "So she used both Alex and Kyle as her minions?" she demands when I am done, sounding outraged. "Okay, I am getting seriously upset that the girl is on another planet, Max. She deserves to pay for what she’s done."

And she does. More with every passing day. She deserves to pay for what she has done to Alex. And I let her go, and now it appears that it wasn’t just Alex that she screwed with.

The thought of anything happening to Kyle, after all that the sheriff has done for us, literally makes me sick to my stomach. Especially because I am the one who asked the sheriff to look after her. All the Valentis ever ded was let her into their home, and their hearts, and she completely betrayed them.

We pull up outside Valenti’s house. It is still dark. I glance at my watch. It is close to three in the morning. We’re going to be out all night again. My parents are going to kill me.

But I can’t worry about that right now. I have the feeling that Kyle is going to be able to provide us with some invaluable information - if he would just get here.

I begin to tap my fingers against the steering wheel impatiently. My chin is propped on my fist on the window-sill. As I stare out the window, my thoughts return to Liz.

God, I hope she’s okay. I reach out with my thoughts, still cannot connect with her at all. It’s like she is completely gone from this world. I close my eyes, trying to shut out the thought of what a world without Liz would be like.

I cannot handle thinking about it right now. I need to focus, need to concentrate on gathering my energy, because I am aware that there is only one way to make sure that Tess has not turned Kyle’s brain to mush like she did Alex’s.

I have to go in there and heal him. And it is going to take all of my concentration and strength. Because this is one healing I cannot afford to screw up.

"Max, what are you doing?" Maria suddenly whispers from beside me. I open my eyes, glancing at her. She is staring at my hand on the steering wheel, like there is something wrong with it.

I realize that my fingers are still tapping.

I consciously try and stop them, because I know that I am freaking her out. Hell, I’m beginning to freak myself out.

Because I cannot make my fingers stop.

Author's Note: Just a reminder about timelines...If we're in first person, it's Post-Departure. If it's third person, it's the timeline where Sean didn't come back from the future.

Part 22 – Another time, Another life – Section I

Somewhere in Ontario, Canada, December 2001

"Are we almost there?" Maria complained from the back seat. "I really have to pee."

"You’re not the one who’s eight months pregnant," Liz reminded her from the front seat, where she was sitting beside Michael, who was doing his best to completely ignore Maria and Liz.

Liz knew that he was still mad at her, still angry that she had not listened to him and stayed behind in Roswell. But if it was true – that Isabel had really finally found Max and Tess…

There was absolutely no way that she was being left behind, pregnant or not.

"Michael," Maria whined.

"There’s a town coming up in about ten kilometres," Michael snapped. "Just hold your horses. Jeez."

But Liz was aware of the way in which he glanced at her with concern, and felt the car speed up slightly, which was saying something because he was already driving well over the speed limit. It had been easy to let the speedometer creep up on the prairies near Winnipeg, which they finally left about half an hour before. They were well into the rocky, tree-lined Canadian Shield now, but Michael hadn’t slowed down, determined to reach the small town of Wade before dark.

They were meeting up with Isabel in the summer resort town of Kenora, and would then push on to Wade, which was well north and much less civilized, if what Isabel told them on the phone was true.

With every mile, Liz knew they were getting close. She could almost sense Max again, in a way she hadn’t since she was sure that he had left the planet, more than six months before. She could feel every inch of her body beginning to tingle with anticipation, mixed with a heavy dose of fear.

She could also feel her baby becoming restless, as though she knew that she was soon going to be reunited with her father. The baby was not a kicker until very recently – the last twelve hours to be exact. It had worried Liz for a while, but somehow she eventually realized that her daughter’s temperament was just like that – serene and patient, waiting calmly for the time when she would make her grand entrance.

While Liz could almost feel her baby’s excitement, they still didn’t know how Max was going to react when they found him. He had obviously made a very concerted effort not to be found, if the boonies they were driving through were any indication.

Isabel had left Roswell in mid-September, the only one who could feasibly get out of town without creating a large fuss with their parents because she was already finished high school. Not for the first time, her early graduation was proving to be a blessing in disguise. She dropped out of community college, telling the Evanses that she needed a semester off, needed some time to get over the fact that her brother was apparently gone for good.

Michael probably could have gone as well, but he never even contemplated it, telling Liz that it was his responsibility to look after her. It had brought grateful tears to her eyes. In fact, Michael even suggested that she might want to move in with him until she got on her feet after the baby’s birth. He was taking the role of protector so seriously, it was almost amusing. Liz and Maria took great joy in teasing him about it.

Liz tried not to dwell on the fact that Michael was still so furious at Max for staying on Earth, and not telling any of them, it was another reason he didn’t want to play a large role in finding him. Liz thought Michael figured he might actually kill his best friend, so it was best to stay away from him. She preferred to think about how cohesive the group was now, how bonded they were about everything else.

It was only on the subject of Max that they disagreed.

Isabel reacted in exactly the opposite way. She wanted to find Max more than anything, mainly to give him a large piece of her mind, Liz suspected. And, so, using a combination of dreamwalking – there were very rare occasions when Max was apparently not blocking Isabel – and information she had bullied out of Pam Troy, she managed to track him as far as Northwest Ontario by the end of November.

She had rented a hotel room in Kenora since, and had spent her days questioning the locals for any sign of her brother and Tess. It was a small town, much smaller than Roswell, especially in the winter months, and the two newcomers had been noticed, particularly because the young blonde was so obviously pregnant when they arrived.

It was only last week that Isabel managed to actually find them though. Liz, Michael and Maria were on the first plane to Winnipeg, the closest city with an international airport.

Isabel had not confronted the missing pair yet, but she learned that they were living simply, in a cottage
north of Kenora, in the tiny town of Wade. They kept to themselves, but word filtered out that Tess’s baby had been born. Isabel tracked the Native-Canadian mid-wife who had delivered Max’s first-born. It did not surprise any of them that Tess and Max had chosen not to allow the baby to be born in a hospital.

The baby was a boy. Tess was right about that. But, apparently, she had been far from right about the baby being unable to survive on Earth – because from what Isabel heard, he was born healthy, and both mother and baby had come through the ordeal with little problem.

It did surprise Liz at all. Tess had always been good at lying. Her entire plot had been to force Max back to Antar, to throw him into the power of his enemies. In fact, her entire gift centred on deception and deceit, because it was what mind-warping inherently did.

It was almost a relief that the baby was a boy, and born before Liz’s own. Liz now knew for certain, having connected with the baby several times, whether by accident or conscious will, that her unborn child was a girl. Her child was not the heir. She was not the first-born, which would mean that she was safer.

The one thing Liz could not understand was why Max had chosen to remain with Tess after his son’s birth. He must have known that his friends and family wanted him at home, his child too. He could not have truly believed that all of them were better off without him.

Something had clearly gone very wrong. And they would soon find out exactly what.

Michael was pulling the rental car off the highway, the gas station sign flashing the information that food was also available. "Hungry?" he muttered to Liz as he came around to Liz’s side of the car, and literally pulled her to her feet.

"I could eat something," Liz admitted.

While Liz and Maria used the restroom, Michael apparently decided to purchase the entire stock of the small restaurant. Liz exchanged an amused glance with her best friend when they returned to the car, where a miniature mountain of food awaited them. But she didn’t comment, simply ate until she was full and managed, somehow, to fall into a light doze.

It was fully dark when she came back to consciousness.

The car was stopped again. Liz felt a flash of annoyance that no one had woken her up. She could see that they had pulled off the highway again, and were on a small, unpaved road, which seemed to lead nowhere, the headlights streaming off into nothingness.

Michael and Maria were outside the car, arguing about something.

"…don’t think it’s a good idea. She’s going to be devastated!"

"She has a right to know," Maria replied. "If anyone can help him, it’s Liz. And I refuse to allow you and Isabel to go in there alone."

"We’re the only ones they won’t kill," Michael retorted.

"Michael, of course they will! They don’t need you!"

"Izzy’s been safe!"

"Because they don’t know she’s here, you idiot!" Maria almost screeched back.

Liz sighed wearily, wondering where Isabel was. She opened the car door, and managed to hoist herself to her feet. "You might as well tell me," she told Michael and Maria wryly. They were both now scowling in her direction. "I know there’s something now."

"Liz, you’re never going to believe who’s up here." Maria moved towards her, her expression panicky. "They just arrived a few days ago. Lonnie and Rath!"

Liz felt her heart enter her throat. Max had told her all about how Rath and Lonnie had been willing to sell him out. He even suspected, after they tried to kill him in New York, that they were the ones who had taken out Zan.

"Are they hurting him?" Liz asked weakly. And as a secondary question, "Why are they here?"

Just then a familiar form appeared in the light thrown by the headlights. It was Isabel, her hair in tight braids, and a winter hat covering her head. It was only then that Liz realized how cold it was. She pulled her insignificant jacket more tightly around her body. It was only seconds before Michael’s hand was on her back, sending a pulse of warmth through her.

"Thank you." She smiled at him. Moving forward, she hugged Isabel tightly. Isabel moved back, staring down in amazement at Liz’s large belly. She touched it almost reverently.

"She’s so big!"

"It’s almost time, Isabel," Liz replied calmly. "But this baby isn’t going to be born without her father. Where is Max? What’s happening?"

Isabel sighed, rubbing her eyes wearily. For the first time, Liz noticed that her friend looked exhausted. "I’ve managed to get in to see him once by imitating Lonnie. She and Rath leave every day, to get cigarettes I think." She wrinkled her nose. "They’re suffering big-time up here. Anyway, I went in yesterday. I’ve figured out the problem, and why Max hasn’t come home."

"What?" Liz asked breathlessly.

"He thinks he’s Zan." Isabel shook her head. "When they crashed, he was hurt I guess – unconscious for quite a while." Liz felt her body tense at this. Isabel must have noticed because she quickly added, "He’s fine now though – physically at least. Nicholas is here too. I think he and Tess have been tag-teaming him, confusing him, pulling out memories of their life on Antar, feeding him lies about living in New York."

"Why?" Liz demanded. "What do they want?"

Michael jumped in here. "Iz’s figured out that the reason the granolith crashed was because it won’t fly without all four of us. Tess called in Nicholas, who managed to find Rath and Lonnie. They’re all going back."

"Where have they been all this time?" Maria asked, voicing Liz’s own question, although her heart was beating at about a million miles an hour and she couldn’t seem to make her own voice work.

Max had not deserted them. He didn’t even know he was Max.

He had not deserted her.

Her heart suddenly felt about a thousand times lighter. Because, as much as she constantly argued with the others that there had to be a good reason for Max to stay away, she had always had that little doubt, as much as she had tried to suppress it, that little question, that perhaps he had finally chosen Tess over her. She almost wouldn’t have blamed him, the way she had behaved towards him before he left.

But she had nothing to worry about. He was being kept away from them. He was still hers.

And now they had to figure out a way to bring him back to her, to them all, but most especially, to her child.

"I have no idea where they were." Isabel shrugged. "That whole scene with Tess in New York was obviously fake, since she was working with Nicholas all along. I think they wanted us to assume they were dead."

"Does anyone else ever get the impression that maybe Tess and Ava were switched?" Maria asked, out of nowhere. "I mean, they’re all bananas, but she seemed pretty normal to me." She paused. "In spite of all the piercings."

"Who cares?" Michael demanded. "The point is, we need to get Maxwell out, and we need to break the mind-warp. Especially if they’re planning to leave." He looked at Isabel. "I assume they mean to do it soon?"

"I think so," Isabel replied. "I think the first thing we need to do is get rid of Rath and Lonnie. Then Michael and I can take their places…"

"No." Liz stepped forward, putting her hand on Isabel’s arm. "That’ll take too long. And besides they might be stronger than all of you. They’re a complete four-square. Max will work with them, against you, if he thinks he’s Zan."

"What, are you planning to go in there?" Isabel raised an eyebrow at Liz, staring meaningfully at her stomach. "Don’t be ridiculous, Liz. In fact, I don’t even know why Michael let you come." She glared at her friend next.

Michael looked aggrieved. "Hey! Don’t blame me! I tried to leave them both behind. But they just henpecked me. I’m the victim here!"

When Maria elbowed him sharply in the ribs, Liz frowned at both of them. "If you truly think I would have stayed behind, then you’re both as crazy as your dupes," she told them primly. "There’s no point in arguing about it." She smiled slightly. "And I don’t plan to go in there anyway, but I do think that I’m the only one he’ll listen too. I’m going to bring Max to me." She looked pointedly at Isabel. "And you’re going to help me do it."

Part 23 - Another Time, Another Life - Section J

Liz shivered against the tree, staring up at the full moon shining down on the lake.

She glanced at her watch, and saw that over two hours had passed since Michael and Maria left to take up their positions. It had to be almost time! It just had to. She wasn’t going to be able to wait much longer. The baby was clearly getting impatient as well. Liz wondered why she had ever worried about the lack of movement from her daughter. She had more than made up for it in the last twenty-four hours!

"What’s taking so long?" Liz whispered to Isabel, who stood nearby, peering through an opening in the thick foliage.

"They don’t keep any sort of set schedule," Isabel replied in an undertone. "But they do leave every night. Apparently whatever night life that pool hall in Wade offers is better than spending the evening freezing in there with Tess for company." Isabel smirked slightly at her own last comment. Liz rolled her eyes.

"Are you sure Max never goes?"

"Positive. He’s being extremely broody apparently. He thinks he’s Zan, but he’s not very happy with the rest of them right now. He doesn’t want to go back. I got that from what he snarled at me yesterday. I think he’s trying to remember. He seems to know that something is off, but can’t quite get a grip on it. He needs to be pulled back to reality."

"I guess it would be too much to hope that Tess might go with them?" Liz grimaced.

"I don’t think she’ll leave the baby. That kid is her trump card." Isabel glanced back at her, her expression serious. "We have to try to get him to bring the baby too, Liz. He won’t leave without him, even if you do manage to bring Max back."

Liz closed her eyes briefly, but nodded. "I know." She didn’t have time to say anything else though, because she felt her cell phone vibrate in her pocket. Fumbling around the jacket Isabel had lent her, which fit almost perfectly due to her pregnant belly, Liz could feel her heart beginning to beat a mile a minute.

"Maria?" She spoke quietly into the phone.

"It’s me," Maria whispered back. "Rath and Lonnie left over an hour ago. We’re in luck, Liz. Nicholas went with them. The lights have been out for almost as long too. I think they’re asleep."

"Excellent. So it’s just Tess and Max then." She saw Isabel’s eyes light up. "Okay, we’re going to start. I’m going to try and get Max to bring the baby with him. If I can’t do it though, Michael’s going to have to go in for him. We’ll call when it’s done."

"Be careful, Liz. Max is a loose cannon right now. He won’t remember you. He might hurt you."

"He will remember me," Liz replied firmly. "I won’t settle for less. I’ll talk to you soon."

She shut off the phone, placing it back in her pocket. Isabel moved closer. "Ready?" Liz smiled encouragingly up at the taller girl.

"As ready as I’ll ever be." Isabel sighed. "So, I’ll take you into Max’s dream…if he’s asleep. If he isn’t, you’re going to have to do the astral projection. It’s going to be less efficient because he won’t be able to hear you."

"What about Tess?" Liz bit her lip. "She’s not just going to let him walk out with the baby."

"Liz, this is your plan," Isabel snapped. Liz was not offended. She knew her friends was simply terrified. "You’re going to have to think of something. Play it by ear."

"Okay." Liz took a deep breath, taking Isabel’s outstretched hand. The other held a picture of Max that Liz had pulled out of her wallet earlier. "I’m ready."

She closed her eyes, focusing on the connection Isabel had made with her almost instantly. After she was fully connected to Max’s sister, she thrust her thoughts outward.

The same dizziness she had felt come upon her when she had done this to save Max’s life in New York began to settle over her. She knew it was working.

When Liz opened her eyes again, she was standing in the middle of a fire lit room. The flames created dancing shadows on the wall, catching her attention momentarily. It was another instant before she located Max.

He was sitting in a wooden chair near the hearth, his elbows on his knees, his hands clenched together between them as he stared into the flames, a far-away expression on his face.

Liz felt her heart swell just at the sight of him. His hair was longer, brushing against the collar of his flannel shirt, but in every other way he looked exactly like Max. She didn’t know what she had been expecting - tattoos maybe, an earring, a strange hair-do, something to match what she imagined Zan must have looked like if the other dupes were any clue. But, whoever Max thought himself at the moment, he had not truly become Zan.

Liz frowned slightly. He looked absolutely miserable. As she watched, he glanced over his shoulder towards an open doorway. Through it, she could see Tess asleep on a double bed, a small form beside her.

The baby.

Max’s child. Liz felt a slight smile melt across her face. This was the child she had been planning to raise as her own, before Alex died, murdered by the tiny baby’s mother.

It would still happen. He was a part of Max. He was her child’s brother. They would not forsake him.

But first she had to bring Max back to her.

Which meant that she had to somehow get his attention. This was obviously an astral projection, and not a dreamwalk, so she couldn’t communicate with him. At least she hadn’t been able to last time.

So, instead, she walked right over to him and stood in front of him. Her heart was in her throat, awaiting his reaction.

It fell when there was none. He stared right through her, continuing to contemplate the flames as though she wasn’t even there.

Was it not working? Was she not there with him? Was she just watching him somehow?

She frowned in frustration, reaching out desperately. She ran her hand down his face hopelessly. It wasn’t going to work. Nicholas and Tess had somehow severed their connection - at least on Max’s side. They were going to have to come up with another plan…

Max jerked back against the chair, a shocked expression on his face. His hand came up, grabbing hers where it lay against his cheek. "What the hell?" he exclaimed.

Liz stumbled in shock . She tried to pull back, but he had a firm grip on her - which was literally impossible, since she was nothing but a spirit after all.

"Who are you?" he hissed. "I know you’re here."

"Max…" Liz gasped. He was holding her so tightly, it was beginning to hurt.

He jerked again at the name. "Liz?" His eyes widened. Liz watched in amazement as they suddenly seemed to unfreeze right in front of her. Where they had been dull and lifeless only moments ago, now they shone with awareness.

"MAX!" She practically screamed it. He obviously couldn’t see her, but they were somehow connecting. She had reached him, had brought him back - and she hadn’t even really done anything.

It was only then that Liz became aware of the glow pulsing through her, emanating from her belly.

She realized that she had not done it at all.

"Liz, where are you?" Max demanded.

"I’m right outside. In the woods. Come to me. Bring your son and come!"

"Liz, there’s someone else here," Max whispered. "Who is that?"

Liz knew that there were tears streaming down her face, but she couldn’t stop them. She knew he was sensing the baby growing within her and it was almost too much. "Max, just bring your son and come. You’ll understand soon enough."

It was then that Liz was hit with a wave of pain so intense, it severed the connection she had made with Max. It felt like her insides were being torn apart. She screamed, saw one instant of panic cross Max’s face, and then he was gone.

She came back to herself, on her knees in the cold, Isabel’s arm around her in concern. "Liz! What happened?"

Another wave of pain sliced through her. She gasped. "Oh…God! Isabel, help me!" She brought her hands up to her stomach, and had to lean forward to try and lessen the pain. She could feel consciousness slipping away.

"Liz!" Isabel was already fumbling with her cell phone. Liz could hear her speaking into it through a miasma of agony. "Get over here! Something’s wrong with Liz!" There was a brief pause. "What? They can’t be back already! Michael… Michael!"

And suddenly Liz knew with utter certainty what was happening. Her daughter was coming…right now.

"Isabel…The baby," Liz choked out. "She’s coming."

She managed to open her eyes, and saw the expression of panic that was appearing on Max’s sister’s face. "Oh, Liz! She can’t! You have to try and wait!"

Liz started to laugh hysterically. "Wait! Are you insane? She’s tearing me apart! I can’t wait. She’s coming - right now!" This last rose in a screech.

"Liz!" Isabel was laying her back against the hard, cold ground. "Oh, God! Oh my God!"

"Liz!" Maria came stumbling out of the woods, dropping to her knees beside her. "Isabel! Get a grip!"

"Where’s Michael?" Isabel demanded. Liz was trying to focus on what was happening around her, but she could feel the desire to push already beginning to take over. Wasn’t labour supposed to be much longer than this?

"He’s distracting Lonnie and Rath. They’re engaged in a blastathon as we speak!" Maria’s voice was beginning to rise hysterically as well. Liz became aware of what sounded like nuclear explosions from nearby. "What are we going to do?"

"We are going to deliver my baby," Liz ground out through clenched teeth. "Because she’s not waiting."

What had happened to her quiet, serene daughter? This was not what Liz had expected the birth of her baby to be like.

She grasped Isabel’s arm, which was still holding her up. "Isabel! Go help Michael! See if Max…" She grit her jaw. "See if he’s coming."

"Did you reach him?" Isabel’s face momentarily lit up with hope.

"I think so…" She closed her eyes, trying to bite back a scream as another contraction tore through her. "Find him!"

"I’m here. What the hell? Liz, what…" He sounded absolutely flabbergasted.

His voice was like music to Liz’s ears. She managed to open her eyes, gazing up at him in disbelief. "Max!"

He was already on his knees beside her, staring down at her in complete bafflement. The contraction had ended, giving her a moment of respite. "Liz…What…" He was running his hands over her body, sending warmth and comfort winding through her. The pain was completely forgotten for a moment.

She felt tears fill her eyes. "Max…"

"Liz, what have I done to you?" His hand gently moved a stray strand of hair off her face. "I am so sorry."

Liz grabbed his hand urgently. "Don’t you dare apologize. You came back to me. It’s enough. And I don’t have time to deal with your guilt right now - or with explanations. This baby is coming right now!" She gripped him so tightly, a grimace crossed his face.

It was the last thing of which she was aware before the pain took over again.

***

She drifted back to consciousness slowly, so warm and content, she didn’t want to open her eyes.

"Time to wake up, Sweetheart. Liz, you have to open your eyes."

But she didn’t want to. She knew that if she did, he would be gone, and she would be pregnant and alone, sure that she was never going to see him again.

"Max, just carry her. I have the baby."

"It’s been too long, Maria. I’m afraid she’s never going to wake up." And she could hear it - the fear. It laced his words with an urgency that was not unusual for Max - not where she was concerned.

It was only then that the words that had preceded this penetrated her foggy mind.

The baby.

Liz’s eyes snapped open. Max’s beloved face was the first thing she saw, hovering over her with concern. She felt a lump enter her throat. "Max." Reaching up, feeling extraordinarily weak, she brought her hand to his cheek.

His eyes widened, relief evident. "Liz." He cupped her hand with his, brought it to his lips. "I’m sorry, Sweetheart. We’re not out of the woods yet. We have to get you out of here."

Although, apparently they were - out of the woods that was. Looking around, Liz recognized the walls of the cabin she had visited with her mind, what seemed like only moments ago.

"Where is she?" Liz whispered, suddenly fearful. She was becoming aware of the emptiness within her. Her baby was gone. "Max, where is she?" She struggled to sit up.

"She’s right here, chica." Maria appeared from behind Max, holding a small bundle in her arms. "Perfectly safe." She laid the baby in Liz’s waiting arms.

Tears filled her eyes as she gazed down at the most perfect little face she had ever seen. She reached out a tentative, shaking hand, tracing the small nose, the tiny mouth, the perfectly formed little ears. "Hello, little one," she breathed, watching in amazement as the baby’s eyes opened, gazing up at her, perfectly serene, dark and wise beyond their years - just like her father’s. "You certainly decided to surprise me," she whispered, dropping a kiss on the baby’s forehead.

"Liz…" She glanced up at Max, who was watching all of this, his dark eyes shining with unshed tears. "I can’t believe you went through this all alone. I am so sorry." He lowered his head, his shame more than obvious.

"Max, it wasn’t your fault," Liz told him firmly. "And you were here for the most important part. You came back to me."

"You brought me back," Max replied, smiling slightly. "I love you so much." He brought his lips gently against hers. She felt her heart almost take flight out of her chest.

She pulled back, smiling up at him. Shefelt the joy that ran through her veins lighting up every part of her. "I love you too. I am so sorry about…about what happened. After Alex…"

His eyes darkened slightly. "We were both to blame. None of it is important now." He kissed her again, this time on the forehead.

"You know what, guys," Maria cut in, sounding sorry. "I hate to break up this reunion, but we need to get out of here. Now."

Max lifted his head. "You’re right. Liz, you have to give the baby back to Maria. I’m going to have to carry you."

Liz shook her head, clutching the baby more tightly against her. "No."

"Liz, please," Max pleaded. "Michael and Isabel are managing to hold them off, but just barely. They’re coming. We have to leave now. You’re too weak to keep her safe."

Liz swallowed. "Fine." She reluctantly allowed Maria to take the baby away from her. "How did we get in here?" Liz asked him as he gently lifted her into his arms, making sure that the blanket she had been under was wrapped firmly around her.

"Michael drove Lonnie and Rath away from the cottage," Max explained, moving towards the door of the cabin. "Isabel joined him further down the road."

"Where’s Tess?" Liz demanded. "Isn’t she helping them?"

A shadow crossed Max’s face. "She’s gone. She wasn’t here when we brought you in."

Liz felt her heart drop. "Max, your son!"

"He’s gone too." He was trying to hide the concern in his voice, but she could hear it. "When our connection was broken so suddenly, I just reacted. I wasn’t thinking. I came after you, and left him with her. She was still asleep. I never imagined that things could spin so completely out of control so quickly."

"I’m sorry, Max." And she was.

"It’s okay. We’ll find them. She can’t have gone far."

They were standing at the door. Headlights swept across Liz and Max’s faces within seconds. Liz glanced back. Maria stood closely behind Max, the baby clutched firmly in her arms.

"Get in!" Michael bellowed from the vehicle he had rented what seemed like days before. Isabel was in the passenger seat, frantically scanning the woods for a sign of their enemies. "They haven’t fired on us in a few minutes, but they’re still out there." He elaborated as Max gently deposited Liz on the backseat, making sure that Maria was in with the baby, and then climbed in as well.

"We’ll come back," Max decided. "Get us out of here, Michael. We’ll make sure that Liz and the baby are safe, and then we’ll come back and finish this."

"Max." Isabel twisted around in the front seat. "Are you sure you’re okay? They’re not still controlling you?"

Max scowled. "I’m sure. I don’t know how they’ve managed to do it for so long. I remembered all of you, but I couldn’t act on any of it. It was like they had trapped me inside my own mind. Tess is a hell of a lot more powerful than we ever knew. Once Nicholas came aboard, I had no chance at all." He smiled over Maria, at Liz. "Until Liz."

"And Serena," Liz added. She had taken her daughter back from Maria, and was still staring down at her in complete wonder. She didn’t understand why the baby wasn’t crying. She had to be able to sense the almost contagious panic that still existed in the vehicle.

But she just blinked her long-lashed amber eyes calmly, sighed slightly, and then went to sleep.

"Serena?" Max’s voice was low. He and Maria had switched places now. "I like it." He brought his arm around Liz’s shoulder, pulling her tightly against him, and then kissing the top of her head.

Liz knew that she shouldn’t be so completely happy. They were running for their lives after all. They had lost Max’s son.

But Max was back. Her daughter had come, safe and healthy, if not necessarily serenely, and she knew that somehow, everything was finally coming together.

It would work out. It had to.

She was trying to keep her eyes open, but exhaustion was settling over her like a blanket. She allowed her eyes to drift closed, and she fell asleep against Max, hope warming her from the inside.

She could not have known, after all, that things were about to get worse.