**************Part 10***********************
“Zan, what are you…you can’t leave.” Serena said, stunned into a stage whisper as she watched him pack. She was grateful that she’d stopped herself before saying ‘you can’t leave me.’ It wasn’t like she could make him stay. Obviously. Because if the fact that he'd barely paused to look at her was any indication, he sure as hell could leave her.
Serena sighed, unsurprised by either the memory or the ghost which haunted her dreams. She ignored her own rationale, simply beyond caring that the strength of Zan's embrace was just another figment of her imagination. She could feel his heart beating against her back and just when the tears threatened to overtake her, she felt his arms close more tightly around her body. Unable to resist the temptation of the comfort Zan had always offered, Serena relaxed against him and, as she’d done countless times before, allowed him hold her together.
Zan glanced over his shoulder and then turned back to his small pile of clothes, stuffing the last two t-shirts into his backpack while he studiously ignored the twist in his gut at the thought of leaving her behind. He shrugged it off coldly. She’d just have to learn to duck…not that she had. Briefly, he considered taking her with him, but he shelved the idea quickly. It was a nice thought, but she’d never go. Even after months of looking out for each other, she still didn’t trust him. Not the way he wanted her to, and not the way he trusted her. And if his own kind hadn’t stuck around for the pleasure of his company, she sure as hell wasn’t going to. Zan sighed, slightly surprised by his sudden longing. “Serena, get outta my way.”
“No.” Serena replied, standing in front of the door. “Zan, this is insane. Where you gonna go, huh? An’ when the fuck did you decide ta jet?” she asked, wondering if he’d finally gotten sick of looking out for her.
“Serena, Ricky saw me. I ain't waitin’ around for…I ain't waitin’ around.”
“So what if Ricky saw you…what’d he see you do?” Serena asked, confused. They’d been laying low for the last couple weeks, trying to stay out of Lucas’ way. With only minimal success. Sighing internally, Serena acknowledged that one of these days she’d have to learn to keep her mouth shut. And she would learn…she just wanted Zan to stick around to see it.
“Last night. He saw me… afta you…” Zan nodded pointedly, his brows raised.
“Oh,” Serena breathed. Ricky had seen him heal her. “So?”
Zan snorted. So. It was still amazing to him that someone as smart as she was could still be so completely oblivious. He shook his head. Definitely shoulda left last night, he told himself. “So? So?! Serena, wake up dem brain cells. Ya know what they’re gonna do when they get their hands on me?” he demanded in an angry whisper. His own cold fear at the thought of being captured and studied like a lab rat, and then cut into little…well, it was catching up with him, easily shortening his already strained temper. And the longer she stood in his way, the less time he had to put some distance between himself and the Boba Feds.
“What? Who?" Serena questioned, grasping at straws while she tried to figure out what she'd missed. “Did Lucas say he was gonna send you to anotha home?”
Zan took a deep breath, growing increasingly uncomfortable as they got closer to having the conversation that would really fuck up her opinion of him. “No. Look, it don’t matta. I gots ta go.” He averred desperately.
“Why?” Serena demanded again, flattening herself against the door when Zan stepped forward. “Listen’a me…what, where you gonna go? What’re you gonna do?”
“I’ll get a job.” Zan snapped. “Now will you…”
“Who you gonna get ta hire you? You’re a kid.” Serena shot back logically, beginning to relax as she considered the obvious holes in whatever plan it was he thought he had. If she could make him see them, she stood a chance of maybe convincing him to stay. “What about food? What about…”
“I’ll be fine, now get the hell outta my way!” Zan growled, stepping forward and reaching for the door handle.
“No,” Serena whispered, flinching away from his hand, though she forced herself to hold her ground and ignore the sudden fear that coiled tightly in the pit of her stomach. “You can’t leave.” She repeated stubbornly.
Zan’s breath caught somewhere in his throat and he forgot all about getting the hell out of the room. “I’d never hit you,” he said swiftly, his disbelief over the fact that Serena would even think that, lost somewhere in the shadow of fear he read in her midnight eyes. She nodded her uneasy agreement, her blue eyes skittering over his face before they searched the room with sudden purpose. “Serena, look at me.” Zan requested, his tone gentle in an attempt to soothe the waver from her normally confident voice. “I’d never hit you.” He said again, grateful that she’d finally allowed him to recapture her gaze.
Serena shrugged, her breath coming more easily once she saw the easy sincerity she always found in Zan’s eyes. “I know.”
Zan sighed. “Right.” Moving slowly enough for her to avoid him if she wanted to, Zan reached out and captured her thin wrist, pulling her away from the door to sit across from him on the edge of his bed. “Listen…”
“I’m sorry.” Serena interrupted, feeling guilty that it was, essentially, her stupidity that had caused this whole mess— she never should have baited Lucas like that. Not that he needed her to bait him, really, but still...
Zan shook his head. He didn’t want her to think this was her fault. It wasn’t, but explaining that to her… “Serena, it aint that. I… whatta you know about space?” He asked abruptly.
Serena blinked. “Space? As in ‘The Final Frontier’?” she mocked. “It’s cold.”
“No…um…”
“It is.”
“No, I mean, I know it is, just… what about… people from space.”
“People?”
Zan sighed as Serena reared back a little, her confusion evident in the way her nose scrunched and her brows drew together. “Yeah. People.” He took a deep breath, unsurprised by the sudden weight of the moment, as if everything in his world were resting on it. “I ain't like otha guys.” He admitted slowly. “I’m a…Serena, I’m a…”
“Astronaut?” Serena prodded with a grin. She rolled her eyes. “Zan, this is serious…”
“I know.” Zan snapped. “An’ I’m a alien,” he rushed out, before he could change his mind. Staring uncertainly at Serena’s blank expression, Zan wondered if maybe he should have finessed that a little more.
Serena blinked. “An, an alien… o-kay. Like... ET?” she asked, already shaking her head over the absurdity of it all.
Zan hesitated. At least she’d chosen a nice alien instead of the ones from that friggin’ Sigourney Weaver movie. “Yeah.”
“Zan, come on…”
“I am. Serena, think about it. You know what I can do… you’ve seen it, you… you’ve felt it. I ain’t… human.”
Serena swallowed hard, feeling her stomach knotting with an entirely different emotion. As ridiculous as his story was, he believed it. Someone had actually made him believe that he wasn’t even human. Serena shook her head, ignoring Zan’s uncertain nod as she held his gaze. The sudden confusion, so at odds with the confidence that normally lit Zan’s eyes was enough to make her want to beat the crap out of whoever had told him that idiotic story. “Zan, listen to me. You’re not. I don’t know who told you all this shit about aliens an’… an’ crap, but what you can do aint all that strange. Come on. You’ve seen what I can do…it ain’t ‘xtrat’rrestrial, it’s…”
“Evolved,” Zan muttered darkly. He should have known. As a natural telekinetic it hadn’t even occurred to her that his abilities were anything other than… evolved. Fuck. He was half tempted to let it go at that, but the commiseration he saw lurking in the depths of her eyes, along with her sincere attempt at comfort wouldn’t let him walk away without her understanding why he needed to.
Serena nodded, the painful knot in the pit of her stomach loosening as she saw Zan’s confidence slowly return, along with a sudden resolve. “’Xactly,” she said softly.
“Not xactly,” Zan contradicted tightly. He glanced at Serena one more time, hesitating briefly as he held his hand over the thin blanket bunched at the end of his bed. Just do it, he told himself. Concentrating, he changed the blanket color from a drab, threadbare maroon to a deep, vibrant blue. He heard Serena gasp and saw her reach to touch it so he stretched his power further, carefully fusing the molecules from the sheet underneath to make it thicker and soft. And then, remembering that he shouldn’t leave evidence behind, he changed it back.
“I gotta practice more.” Serena quipped breathlessly, pulling her fingers back and staring at the blanket, which looked for all the world like nothing had ever happened. “But Zan, that – I mean, it’s amazin’ , don’t get me wrong – but that don’t make you a alien.”
Zan rolled his eyes. She was so damn stubborn! Ignoring his better judgment, which warned that what he was about to do was a bad idea, Zan reached forward and cupped Serena’s face. “Look’it me.” He demanded.
“Ok, but…” Serena gasped as her entire existence was suddenly reduced to the heavy strength of Zan’s hands around her face and the strange pull she felt when her eyes met his. And then there wasn’t even that anymore.
-Flash-
Fighting. He was fighting, even from that first moment of consciousness. And suddenly desperate to escape the…engineered womb that held him. Serena held her breath, her shock giving way to wonder as she fell deeper into… whatever the hell this was. She could almost feel the slimy substance that Zan was swimming through, that clung to him as he broke through the hard outer shell of the…the pod, arms outstretched, his shoulders bunching in an attempt to make himself small enough to fit through the opening. She gasped as he lost his breath with the jarring impact of hitting the ground and then blinked in surprise when he glanced over and saw the small girl shivering on the rough floor next to him.
And then he was tugging the girl away from the loud, heavy sound of the trains, keening a little as his senses reeled.
Serena swallowed hard, feeling the sharp, wasting pain of Zan’s hunger, and then his fear. And his anger as he and the girl hid from the homeless who could only chase them away and the well dressed, who didn’t want to see them.
And then there was the surprising kindness of the old man who had finally taken them in, ending their long week of running and starving. And then turned them over to Child Services when he had no idea what to do with two mute children.
Serena ached for him, and even for the small girl with the angelic features and the halo of blond curls as their differences kept them apart from the other children in their first home. He’d wanted to blend in, she realized, to become invisible in a room full of people… and no one had cared.
And then Serena hated that girl, hated her for the painful confusion Zan had felt when she left him behind, easily choosing the safety offered by the friendly couple who wanted to take her home, over him.
Serena could feel the tears he’d refused to shed for himself, welling in her eyes. She knew his confusion and his fear, his anger and finally, the deep, abiding loneliness he’d come to simply accept as his due.
And then she saw herself, and felt the same strange spark of knowledge that he’d felt when he first saw her, when he first knew that she was someone who would understand. Almost as if he recognized something in her that she herself had never seen.
“How did you know to trust me?” Serena asked softly, not wanting to interrupt their memory. As if speaking too loudly would break the dream and force her from the safety she only ever found in his arms.
Zan shrugged, pulling her back against his chest and resting his chin lightly on her head. “I just knew. I always knew, Serena.” He replied gently, as he watched the scene playing out before them. It was strange, seeing himself as a child, strange to think that he'd ever been that young. He had been, but he certainly hadn’t felt like it at the time. It had been so long since he’d even thought about… about how alone it was, before he had the option of reaching for her. Zan closed his eyes, not wanting to think about the fact that he would be leaving her in just that position. Like he had the last time. He hated himself for it, though he couldn’t help but understand its necessity. He sighed, feeling his own discontent echo through Serena, leaving her tired and afraid, and anything but relaxed in his arms. He shushed her spirit gently, grateful for the intimate entwining of their emotions, which was somehow entirely different from their original connection. This permutation of what they were was both immediate, and somehow disengaged all at the same time… which was something else he didn’t want to think about. It could wait, he told himself, kissing Serena’s temple gently. It could wait.
“Oh my God…”
Zan sat back, breathing heavily as he watched Serena’s reaction play out across her face. He cringed as she did, knowing the exact moment that she finally knew that he was telling the truth. Her eyes widened in horror, and she stood up staring at him as if…
“Omigod! Do you know what they’re gonna do ta you?!” Serena demanded, the last few scenes of ET suddenly taking on a horrifying new dimension. “We gotta… we gotta… just gimme a second,” she said, taking a deep breath as tried to rein in her sudden panic. He was an alien, he was… God, he was…amazing! But any academic interest she may have had was lost in the pressing need to keep him safe… and the warm pride she couldn't help but feel over the fact that he trusted her like he'd trusted no one else in his life. Which wouldn't mean one damn thing if the government got their hands on him. She closed her eyes, feeling vaguely ashamed. They were gonna kill him and it would be all her fault.
Zan stared at Serena as she paced, his fear and anxiety, which had been all-encompassing, were now suddenly and completely eclipsed by the stunning realization that she couldn’t care less where he came from. Right at the moment, the only thing Serena cared about was keeping him alive. He shook his head, his barely acknowledged fear that she would see him as something to be studied under a microscope was forgotten with the weight of his sudden longing. Without even understanding why, he wanted more time. But he didn’t have it. “Serena…Serena, stop. There ain’t nothing you can do… I gotta go.”
“Zan, wait…you can’t…just, you…ok. What ‘xactly did Ricky see you do?” Serena asked, ignoring Zan's quietly asserted belief as she stopped her pacing mid-stride and turned to confront him.
Zan shrugged uncomfortably. “I ain’t really sure. I seen him afta I dropped my hand… all he coulda seen was the glow, maybe.”
Serena nodded. “Kay. An’ no one else saw nothin’?”
“No. He was talkin’ ta that shit Jimmy, but…I don’ know if he believed ‘im.”
“Right…that’s good. I mean, com’on, who’s gonna believe Ricky about glowin’ hands an’ aliens an’…”
“Serena, there woulda been bruises… Lucas knows that.” Zan chucked her lightly under the chin when she lowered her eyes guiltily. “It ain’t your fault but… you know Ricky hates me. He ain’t gonna let this go… an’ what happens when Lucas takes me ta a docta? I’m screwed.”
Serena ‘hmmm’d ‘absently. “Plausible deniability, ” she announced suddenly, nodding as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “We just gotta fuck up his credibility.”
“What?” Zan asked, his brows drawing together. Sometimes he swore she’d swallowed a dictionary.
“Plausible de… what kinda alien are you?" Serena mumbled. “We’re gonna make sure nobody believes one damn thing that comes outta his mouth,” she clarified, still nodding at him.
Zan nodded along with her, she was so…confidant suddenly that he was hard pressed to say no. “Yeah, but Serena if they do believe ‘im…”
“Then we’re outta here.” Serena replied immediately.
“We?” Zan echoed, half certain he’d heard wrong.
Serena swallowed hard, she wouldn’t beg him to go with, but she prayed silently that he wouldn’t say no. “Are you kiddin’ me? You can’t even come up wit a decent plan. You need me to cova your ass,” she finished, wishing she didn't sound so needy.
Zan blinked. She’d really do it. If what she had planned didn’t work, she’d leave with him. He smirked. “Yeah. Guess I do.”
Serena rolled her eyes. “Always knew, huh? I can’t believe you thought that I’d want to…”
Zan shrugged, grinning unrepentantly at her indignation. “I have always known… just like you’ve always trusted me,” he reminded her wryly, taking a half step back as she turned in his arms..
“Oh, let it go already,” Serena muttered, sighing a little as she resettled herself against the strong wall of his chest.
Zan shook his head, unable to resist tightening his arms around her small frame. “Let it go? I don’t think so…”
“Are you ok?” Zan asked worriedly, quickly doubling the blanket and wrapping it around Serena’s shoulders. He shook his head, impressed… hell, he was amazed that she’d been using her powers all day and still managed to stay standing. Until she’d collapsed into bed a couple minutes ago. He bit his lip. She was too pale, and even with the blanket she was trembling. Hiding his hands in the folds of cloth, Zan quickly warmed the material, his worry growing when even that didn’t completely still her shivers. “Serena, maybe…” he hedged, already raising his hand to touch her face. If anything had happened to her because of what she’d done to protect him…
Serena shook her head. “That’s what got us into this mess in the first place. I’m fine. I’m just…I’m just really tired.” She said around a large yawn. “I think I ran outta energy ‘bout an hour ago.”
Zan nodded easily. He knew she was exhausted. She’d been playing Casper since breakfast, making Ricky crazy by following him around the house, throwing shit at him from places where nobody was standing… and the basketball, that was genius. Course, she’d also made sure to only do it when Ricky was by himself, or when nobody else was watching, so when he bitched about being hexed everyone thought he was nuts, Zan thought with a satisfied grin. Even Ricky was beginning to doubt his credibility. And now there wasn’t a person in that house that would believe him about seeing an alien… even if he was dragging a flying saucer behind him when he said it. Shaking his head, Zan turned back to Serena when a particularly vicious shiver shook both of them. “Well, just… lemme at least take a look.” He demanded, resting his fingers gently against her temple.
“No glowin’?” Serena whispered, already half asleep.
“No glowin’,” Zan agreed, a wayward smile playing across his lips as Serena’s eyes drifted shut. “But I need you ta look at me.”
“You’re a royal pain in the ass, ya know that?”
“Uh huh. Now open your eyes.”
Serena sighed heavily. “Fine.” She muttered, opening her eyes as he requested. The familiar, soothing warmth of his healing drifted through her system, easing her trembling even as she felt him searching for anything else that might be wrong. And then there was a brief hesitation, the same tempting longing that always ate away at her reserve.
“Trust me.”
“I do, but…”
“No buts, Serena, come on…” Zan coaxed, unable to stop himself from going deeper as she wavered indecisively. And then her mind seemed to snap back into focus, and he steeled himself for the familiar disappointment of her retreat… only she didn’t retreat. And Zan found himself relaxing, responding to Serena’s soul deep relief. Her entire being seemed to let out a long awaited sigh in the wake of its sudden freedom, and he knew…
-flash-
Fighting. Even from her crib she could remember them fighting. About her, about money…about anything they could think of. But even more than the fighting…Zan swallowed hard against the knowledge and warm understanding of a completely unfamiliar connection…he could feel the comforting strength of a mother’s embrace, even as his senses recoiled from the antiseptic smell of the hospital room in which she lay. And then his breath was forced from his chest, and he staggered under the overwhelming agony of the abrupt severing of that connection. He could feel Serena reaching desperately even for the weak grip of her mother’s fingers around her own, and he felt her desolation as she captured only air.
And then he sat with the somber little girl as she stared at the casket, hating the darkness of the small church and the saints that stared at her. She listened, her weeping abruptly halted by her father’s heavy hand as the priest intoned the words that would forever keep her mother from her. Zan’s nostrils flared a little with the acrid smell of the incense, a smell as offensive to Serena’s five year old senses as the sterile, chemical smells of the hospital room where her mother had taken her last breath.
Zan watched, knowing Serena’s horrified confusion as all the pretty things her mother had taken such care of were smashed under her fathers fist, or thrown out in one of his now frequent fits of temper. He saw the bottles littering the kitchen counter, smelt the liquor on her father’s breath and felt the roughness of his hands as he shoved her down the hall to her room, out of his sight.
He felt Serena’s panicked heartbeat as she hid under her covers, closing her eyes to make herself invisible, though she couldn’t block out her fathers angry bellow… or the sound of his footsteps as he headed down the hall towards her.
Zan ached with Serena’s angry confusion, hated just as she did, that the depth of her intellect couldn’t explain what it was she’d done wrong. But his painful indignation was nothing compared to the caged anger that had finally begun to simmer just under her skin, sparking embarrassing surges of power, and a terrified helplessness when they passed. She’d learned to control her power, to hide it, even from her father. Especially from her father, he realized. And Zan knew, even before he saw it, what would eventually happen.
He could already feel the heaviness of that last night in her apartment and his gut twisted over the fine distinction she’d made. Those other times, those other blows, they were… normal. But tonight… tonight her father wasn’t going to stop, she just knew it. Zan blinked, surprised, not by Serena’s sudden use of power, but by her immediate guilt over the act, as if she didn’t have the right to defend herself, as if maybe it would have been better if she’d just let her father…
And then the feeling of her desolation faded into the ease of the surprising rapport she’d found with him, in a friendship she couldn’t explain forming, but would protect at all costs. It was the most amazing thing he’d ever known, this perfect reflection of how he felt…
Serena gasped, her tired hedging lost somewhere in the fullness of Zan’s assuaged curiosity. She held her breath, feeling his reaction to everything he was seeing, feeling him react to… everything. She felt suddenly like an uncomfortable spectator to her own life and cringed inwardly, wondering when he was going to pull away. Only he didn’t. And it almost seemed as if he didn’t want to.
“I still don’t want to, baby, but we gotta.” Zan said softly, regretfully, wanting to stop this before it became too painful… if it wasn’t already.
Serena shook her head. She was too tired for the fight, and too in need of his arms to wake up just yet. “Not tonight, Zan, please?” she begged, hating the plea she heard in her own voice. And her inability to do anything but cling to the transient warmth of his body even as she despised herself for the fact that, though she knew better, she was too weak to let go. “Please not tonight,” Serena whispered against his chest.
“Serena…” Zan took a deep breath, struggling against her desperation and his own desire to stay wrapped around her forever.
“Just watch. Please? Stay.” Breathing a heavy sigh of relief, Serena allowed herself to relax as he gave one sharp nod against the top of her head.
Serena stared, her exhaustion forgotten in the face of Zan’s easy acceptance. She knew he’d seen everything. And he was still looking at her exactly as he had from the beginning, exactly as if the last ten minutes had meant nothing. And everything, all at the same time.
“It ain’t your fault,” Zan whispered, slowly easing their connection apart. He fought to hold on to his temper even as he wished that her fucking father was in front of him right now. He’d show that motherfucker what a freak really was. He sighed, understanding finally, the ease with which she baited Lucas. That son of a bitch couldn’t do half the damage her own father had done, not in a million years.
Serena shrugged. “I know.”
Zan nodded, letting her lie slip past as if he believed her. For now all she needed to know was that she wasn’t alone. “I got your back, Serena.”
Serena smiled, feeling shy. She was still sorting through the wonder of Zan’s understanding but even more than that she was suddenly grateful for the fact that he wasn’t one of those touchy-feely, talk about everything social worker types. “Good, cuz it’s damn hard to watch my back and cova your ass at the same time,” she teased softly, for the first time feeling completely at ease in her room, as if maybe this could be home.
Zan smirked. “More at’tude ’n sense,” he muttered. “Wouldn’ have ta cova my ass if you could keep your own outta trouble.”
“Where’s your sense of adventcha?” Serena mocked around another yawn.
Zan rolled his eyes. “Go ta sleep. We’ll look for it in ’a mornin’.”
Serena smiled at the memory. It wasn’t the first time he’d spent the night on her floor, making sure she was ok, but it had seemed like it for some reason. As if their burgeoning trust had changed everything. And really, she supposed it had. Leaning back a little in the circle of his arms, Serena studied Zan’s tense features, guessing that he was back to cursing himself over his earlier capitulation. “You know… there’s this school a thought that says if you save someone’s life, they’re yours foreva,” she said idly, playing with the small tear in the neck of his T-shirt as she attempted to head off another attempt to start their usual conversation. She ignored the wave of grief that threatened to drown her, and closed her eyes against the agony of still being able to feel his heartbeat.
Zan blinked, the word ‘forever’ echoing with a hollowness he’d never felt before. He shook his head, suddenly angry with her stubbornness. And his own cowardice. “It’s only for life that they’re talkin’ ‘bout,” he corrected darkly.
Serena took a deep, shuddering breath, opening her eyes, though she refused to meet his gaze. She already knew what she would find there. “Fine, so we belong to each other…”
“Yeah. For life,” Zan said softly, his temper forgotten as he bent to brush his lips against her forehead. “But baby… we’re way past that,” he reminded her softly.
“Stop it.”
“Serena, this aint good,” Zan averred. “This aint good for you.” He whispered, forcing her chin up.
“You promised.” Serena pointed out miserably, finally raising her eyes to his. “Don’t break that one too.”
Zan sucked in a quick breath, opening and then closing his mouth against an angry retort. His temper was lost as he stared down into her eyes, eyes that pleaded with him and echoed her intense need for him to stay. Zan sighed heavily, cupping her face with gentle solemnity, as he met her already heartbroken midnight gaze. It was killing him, but she needed to understand. "Baby, I'm already…"
"Please, Zan, not tonight. I just can't tonight." Serena whispered tiredly.
Swallowing hard, Zan nodded, dropping the subject and giving them what they both wanted. “Fine,” he ground out ungraciously. “Let’s talk ’bout som’thin else then… how’s your Thelma and Louise thingy goin’?” he asked.
“Um… s’done, actually.”
Zan blinked, stepping away from Serena so that he could see her face more clearly. “Done? Where the fuck are you?” he asked suspiciously.
“Roswell,” Serena replied quietly, already feeling the hotel room taking shape around her.
“Damn it, Serena!”
“You’re screamin’ agin’.”
Serena gasped, raising her hand instinctively to defend herself as Ava leaned forward and… turned on the light. Blinking against the sudden brightness, Serena glared tiredly at the placid features of the blonde sitting on the bed across from hers. “You shoulda been hatched in a corn field, ya know that?” she bit out. “Whats’a matta?” she mumbled.
“It’s 3, an’ I’m hungry. You can sleep all ya want but I need the keys so I can go get somethin’,” Ava replied, ignoring the barb in the hopes that Serena wouldn’t question her desire to get out of the hotel room.
Serena snorted. Right. Cause she was stupid enough to hand over their only means of transportation. Bad enough she was stupid enough to sleep with the Stepford Wife so damn close. “I don’t think so. I’ll go grab some burgers or somethin’. There’s gotta be a McDonald’s somewhere in this town,” she replied, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. “’Sides, you got otha stuff you gotta handle.”
Ava’s eyes narrowed against the subtle command but she remained silent as she watched Serena force herself to wake up. The mild jealousy that had been eating at her since the first moment she’d clapped eyes on Serena flared as the other girl ignored the mirror in favor of simply running a restless hand through her hair, letting loose enough power to force it into some semblance of order before she absently wiped her fingers under her eyes to smooth the liner that had smudged there. Ava glanced away, annoyed that the careless action had somehow made Serena’s eyes seem bigger, darker, more blue. Her jaw clenched. She hated that color, had ever since Zan... “Yeah.” Ava drawled. “I’ll get right on that.”
Demanding Heaven's Gate (CC,ADULT) Ch 22A - AN 11/4/04 [WIP]
Moderators: Anniepoo98, ISLANDGIRL5, truelovepooh, Forum Moderators
*******************Part 11**********************
Tess sighed, glancing uneasily toward the front window before returning her attention to Kyle, who was currently taking up most of the space on the couch. The couch which housed God knew how many lost chips, change and…other things she’d rather not dwell on. The couch she couldn’t seem to make herself vacate. It was ridiculous, this uncharacteristic indecision. And stupid, she added, for good measure. Really stupid. Especially considering that her bed was more far more comfortable than the lumpy cushions on which she was currently pretending to sleep. It wasn’t like there was any legitimate reason to stay. Not even the incredible tenderness of Kyle’s earlier kiss was reason enough to stay. She and Kyle were just…a lot of things, Tess admitted wryly, but they weren’t siblings. Not even close.
Sighing again, Tess studied Kyle’s face, turned boyish and innocent with sleep. When the hell had he moved from a simple distraction to a complication? It had been fun at first, when they were both in it for themselves. When it was just sex. Good sex, great sex, really… Tess swallowed hard. Let it go, she ordered coldly because this, whatever this was, didn’t matter. She couldn’t let it matter. Not if she was going to survive. And win. Tess pursed her lips, her purpose too clear even for herself to ignore. She was going to win. Which left them…right were they were, apparently, she mused distractedly. Too bad she wasn’t foolish enough to believe her own warp.
Tess froze, her eyes closing automatically as Kyle shifted to a more comfortable position on the couch, leaving her pinned under the delicious weight of his body. It wasn’t the first time they’d been in that position, and she was more than tempted to wake him with the kind of kiss they’d shared earlier. It wasn’t like she couldn’t make him forget everything that happened, just as she’d made him forget everything else. Except he hadn’t forgotten. And that left her with no choice but to remember as well.
Tess pushed the door open slowly, her high heeled shoes dangling from one hand in an effort not to wake anybody up. After the stress of her earlier meeting, she was more than grateful that the house was dark and everyone was asleep. She didn’t feel like answering any of Jim’s questions. Or Kyle’s.
“Where have you been?”
Tess jumped. “God, Kyle!” she hissed, glancing uneasily in the direction of Jim’s room as her shoes fell, clattering gracelessly against the floor. “What are you doing in the dark?”
“Trying to sleep. This is my room, remember?” Kyle replied, the dramatic sweep of his arm encompassing the living room. “Where have you been?” he repeated quietly.
“Just driving.” Tess replied, shrugging uncomfortably. She didn’t want to risk warping him any more than she had to, but if he continued to ask questions she’d be left with no choice. At least not one she wanted to make.
“Are you ok? Did something else happen tonight?”
“What? Why? Why would you ask that?” Tess stammered, surprised from her morbid thoughts by the sincere concern she heard in his voice.
It was Kyle’s turn to shrug uncomfortably. “I saw Evans when he went after Liz. I thought maybe you were…you know, upset or…something.”
Tess felt herself smiling a little over the way Kyle was shifting uneasily from one foot to the other, protective and strong and strangely serious. Completely unlike his normal sarcastic self. “I’m used to it.” she sighed.
“Still…you shouldn’t have to take that. You deserve someone who, who wants you.” Kyle rushed out, stepping towards her with sudden determination. “You deserve someone who realizes that…how lucky he is that you’re waiting.”
Tess blinked, surprised by the vehemence of his voice and the heat of his body. “Kyle…” When had he moved? When had he gotten so close? She took a half step back and then stepped forward again, uncertainly.
“Look, I know…I know I said that you were like my…sister.” Kyle shook his head, still unable to lose the fog that had been clouding his mind since earlier. He knew that he’d said it, he just couldn’t quite understand why he’d said it. “But, Tess…I think…”
The kiss itself wasn’t surprising, and neither was the familiar impetus to move beyond it into something more. But this time…she could feel Kyle forcefully setting aside the last of his discomfort over her alienness, dropping his reserve in the desperate attempt to let her know that…he saw her. He saw what no one else did, and he knew that there was more to her even than that. And he wanted to be the one to see all of her.
It had been nice, Tess admitted wistfully, his desire to really see her. Impossible, but nice. It was a surprising change from her betrothed, who had never even bothered to look. And why would Max bother, she questioned sarcastically, he had Liz. The fucking end all and be all. Tess felt her blood fire as she considered ‘The perfect Miss Parker’. The angry humiliation she felt was almost comforting in its familiarity. Even after everything, even if it had all been true…Liz Parker would still be perfection in his eyes.
She used to wonder if things would have been different, if he’d have felt differently had they been together from the beginning…or maybe she would have. But that didn’t matter anymore, if it ever had. Quite suddenly, Tess found that she was disgusted by her own venom. It was beneath her. And the selfish wallowing in hurt feelings…ridiculous. Feelings had no place within her current predicament. Tess shook her head. She wasn’t even sure of her place within her current predicament. Not that it mattered. There was no backing out. But she’d known that all along, hadn’t she? Alex would certainly say yes.
Kyle moaned a little, rolling over onto his back when Tess’ abrupt departure from the couch upset his comfortable position. Moving more slowly so as not to disturb him further, she stood up and then leaned over his prone form, resting her hand lightly against his temple. “Just sleep.” She intoned. “Sleep. And…” For a brief moment Tess let herself wonder what Kyle would do if she allowed him wake up, right this minute, and remember everything. What would he say if she told him everything; her mission, what was at stake, the danger she was so clearly in…what she’d been doing this whole time. Tess closed her eyes against the unfamiliar sting of tears as reality fell back into focus and steadied her resolve, making the decision for her. Kyle was too much like his father, too much a cop to be able to understand, or forgive, the things she’d had to do, the things she’d still have to do, to survive. She didn’t have a choice. She’d never had a choice. And now it was time to finish what was already begun. “Sister.” Tess whispered, her eyes avoiding the soft glow under her palm. “I’m like your sister.”
Heading into the kitchen, Tess picked up the phone. And immediately shoved it back in its cradle, taking a quick step back. She was too tired to do this now, she told herself. She didn’t have the focus necessary, considering how distracted Alex had been since his return to Roswell. He’d just have to wait til later. Kyle’s soft snoring followed her as she padded back to her room. She turned to look at him once more, called by the serenity of his features and the promise of… Turning her back, Tess crossed the threshold and waved a hand at the door, closing it softly and shutting out the sounds from the living room as she climbed into her own bed. It was more comfortable anyway.
*************************
Liz whimpered softly, rolling over and managing only to tangle herself more completely in the bedsheet. Her breathing became more labored as the peaceful respite once promised by sleep was lost completely in the frightened confusion currently strangling her dream. Why couldn’t she reach him? Why… She could feel the cool smoothness of the glass under her fingers, and the terrible beating of her heart, but the warmth of his palm was lost somewhere in the sudden darkness…his sudden absence. She pushed harder, feeling only the yawning chasm as it opened between them, separating them in a way she hadn’t thought possible anymore. It tore her apart, the sudden emptiness that now existed in place of his presence. He was gone…lost. Even as he pulled desperately at the very heart of her being.
Breathing heavily, Liz fought against the suffocating loneliness, reaching for consciousness as some small part of her mind clung to the belief that this nightmare reality was simply a dream. It had to be a dream. So why couldn’t she wake herself up?
Oh, God. Maybe last night was the dream…
The tears were real. Liz knew that because she could feel them still coursing hotly down her cheeks. But the rest… Please be a dream. Please be a dream. This has to be a dream... Because she couldn’t imagine waking up to a reality where she couldn’t feel him. Ignoring the harsh foreboding of her nightmare, Liz reached out in stubborn insistence just as her dream self had. And felt only the dull ache of her failure. No, no, no…her soul sang angrily against the possibility of his loss and reached farther, almost beyond its grasp, stretching thin until…successs. Her labored breathing eased as the connection she’d been seeking sparked to life with the ease of long practice, leaving her safe. Dimly she was aware of something upsetting him, something she could neither see nor understand, only feel. Feel and fear as it moved forward with growing insistence, casting a long, dark shadow over everything.
Without conscious thought she clung more tightly to him, wrapping around his shivering soul as he held onto her, brought to a standstill by the rush of cold emotion she could feel echoing insistently around him. Wanting to pull him in…
*************************
Max struggled fitfully, hating the memory, and hating the personality that seemed to come out of nowhere, inevitably shrouding his own. It smothered him, leaving him someone he’d never wanted to be, someone who could nevertheless lay claim to his life. Through all his sessions of memory retrieval he’d been able to maintain some distance, some vague semblance of self. But not this time. The past beckoned insistently, tempting him forward and leaving him alone, adrift even within his own mind. This time Max could feel the coldness of the stone under his feet, through his shoes, chilling him, though Zahn was used to the winters on Antar. Looked forward to them, in fact.
Antar. The name had never struck him quite like this before. Antar…
Brows furrowed in consternation, Max struggled to ignore the path his own conscience seemed to be charting. He didn’t want to know anymore. Only he did. And he couldn’t stop. The feelings pressed in on him, and suddenly Antar loomed more real even than Earth. Earth, he repeated, trying to focus. Home. But it didn’t matter. Zahn was calling, demanding obedience with the indisputable authority of a King and Max had nothing, not the power to deny him or even a fixed point of reference to anchor him in the midst of the torpid recollection. But even more disturbing, there would be nothing of comfort in waking. He would still be alone. It was a familiar despair, and yet…wrong. Somehow it was wrong. Because there was something holding onto him, someone steadying him. He could feel her, whispering softly of safety, shelter from the aching loneliness if only he would reach for her. If only he’d do what had become so difficult, and trust his own instinctive need to grasp something he’d always known was beyond his reach. Her siren call was as insistent as Zahn’s reflection. And more tempting. It was so easy, Max realized suddenly, to focus not on fighting the memory, but reaching through it…for her.
Trembling, Max felt himself falling deeper into the detail of a moment gone by, forced closer to the past even as he clung to the security of her presence. This was like nothing he’d ever felt before, not even the memory retrieval. This was…real. And somehow in the midst of that oddly terrifying revelation his soul was calm, wrapped around her and easily aware of himself. Even, he acknowledged uncomfortably, as he existed uneasily within someone else’s skin. Someone else’s he insisted fiercely, grateful for the quick acknowledgement. She knew him. She understood. He wanted to look away, wanted to wake up, but he couldn’t. And then it didn’t matter what he wanted, if it ever really had…
“A great love!” Raath toasted.
Zahn raised an amused brow, turning from the window to confront his brother in law. “So I’ve heard.” He said wryly, accepting the toast nevertheless with a hearty sip of his drink.
Raath blinked, his eyes narrowing on his King. “Seems we’ve all heard that.” He shook his head. Obviously the Western front was much farther from home than he’d realized, because he was clearly well out of the loop. But not for long. “In fact,” Raath pressed. “It was all that was spoken of at the Shi’Ligh holding. Congratulations from Euster, by the way.”
Zahn nodded, a grin lighting his features at the mention of one of his oldest friends. “And how is Euster?”
“Fine. And don’t change the subject.” Raath ordered dryly. “Considering that my wife and your bride both met me at the gates with the glad tidings, I had assumed the ‘Great Love’ rumor to be accurate.”
Zahn nodded absently, breathing in the chill scent of the approaching winter. The first blush of the amaranthine flowers was already visible along the castle wall. The viscid, cyclical buds were early this year, a good sign according to those of his subjects who knew of such things. It appeared that the Winter Wedding would be blessed even by Mother Serenity. Startled from his thoughts by Raath’s pointed cough, Zahn returned to the present conversation. “Forgive me. It is indeed the love that they speak of. That is what history will record, after all.”
“Right. And you?” Raath shook his head. “Learn from my mistakes.” He warned darkly. “And the priests…surely they’ve warned you against this course of action.”
“It is both time honored and effective.”
“Not on this planet. Such alliances only bring destruction. The priests will have…”
“They don’t know. My bride is most convincing.” Zahn mumbled, unable to meet Raath’s harsh gaze.
“Your bride is in love with you!” Raath burst out.
Zahn sighed heavily. “I know.” And he did. But even more than that he knew what the bold fusing of his position with Ava’s would mean to the stability of the planet. “I appreciate…”
“Appreciate? By the Fates, Zahn, do you care for her at all?” Raath asked, nonplussed.
Zahn glanced up, mildly surprised by the question. “Of course.” He replied. “She is kind and gentle…the people adore her. That alone would be enough, but as you pointed out…”
“You could be describing a Fulya!” Rath interrupted incredulously, gesturing towards the great beast lounging lazily on the end of Zahn’s bed.
“As you pointed out,” Zahn continued, ignoring the vulgarity of the comparison.” She is in love with me. That guarantees that she will also be loyal to the crown.”
“My point exactly.” Raath said triumphantly, again gesturing at the animal that had been trotting at Zahn’s heels for more than twenty years. Brayen raised his ancient head and wagged at the General, his three pronged tail almost removing one of his eyes.
Zahn covered a smile as Raath backed out of harms way. “Ava is hardly a Fulya. She is already working to place the children left orphaned by this war...she is as desperate for peace as I am.” Zahn’s mouth curled in victorious amusement. “Much to the dismay of her cousin.”
Raath grinned, momentarily sidetracked. “I would have paid real money to have seen Khivar’s face…”
“Priceless.” Zahn acknowledged succinctly.
“And what happens when she realizes how you truly feel.” Raath asked darkly, sobering at the thought of the enemy they’d just let into the family.
Zahn raised a brow. “Who says she’ll ever find out?” he questioned. “I am well aware of the depth of her feelings and what this marriage means. To both of us. I would never betray that, or her.”
Raath sighed. When Zahn was set on a course there was little to do except sit back and enjoy the ride…or try to survive the aftermath. “At least she takes after her mothers side of the family.” He mentioned morosely.
“That she does.” Zahn agreed with relish. He may not have found the soulmate required by tradition, but siring the heir required by practicality would hardly be a sacrifice. “There are few as beautiful as she. And in the absence of love…”
“Beauty must needs suffice.” Raath finished sharing a grin with Zahn as he refilled his drink, losing himself in memories of their youth, certain his brother in law was doing the same.
“There was certainly much beauty.” Zahn commented.
Raath’s lips twitched. “I loved them all.” He averred, choosing to ignore his leaders ungracious snort. “For Antar!” he toasted, raising his glass yet again.
Zahn drained his drink. “Who else?”
Max awoke with a start, cringing against the last shadow of memory as it played itself out in his head. The pragmatism of Zahn’s resolve echoed with a chill familiarity, leaving his blood running cold, so cold that he felt like the winter winds were still blowing all around him. And with the cold came the numbness he thought he’d wanted last night.
He wanted it gone, wanted all of it gone…the cold, the memory, and most especially, the responsibility he’d assumed for the second time in as many lives.
It was getting old, Max thought angrily. And he was so tired.
Even beyond the cold, was the sheer exhaustion he couldn’t seem to shake. It seemed that the last two lifetimes spent fighting the inevitable had finally caught up with him, leaving him utterly spent. Max shook his head. And apparently overdramatic, he thought with grim amusement. He glanced at the clock, relieved to see that the day was more than half over. Maybe he wouldn’t have to get out of bed. Except if he didn’t…there’d be nothing to distract him from the voices still ringing through his torn psyche.
In the absence of love, beauty must needs suffice.
The sheer, unfeeling practicality of the phrase, not to mention Zahn’s easy acceptance of the tenet mocked him. It was such a sharp contrast to the depth of the sacrifice that Liz had made, and then demanded of him. Zahn considered no one else, nothing else mattered to him except his sacred and all consuming responsibility to…Antar. Angrily, Max wondered if Zahn would have been so eager to forego love if he’d ever really felt it. Last night’s decision aside, Max was suddenly aware that he himself…couldn’t.
There had to be another way.
Max nodded, his eyes narrowing as he considered last night from a fresh perspective. He’d have to find another way, because he simply couldn’t do as Liz had asked. It was a difficult admission to make, considering the repercussions, but he couldn’t help feeling vaguely relieved. Until the flashes of his future self began to echo through his mind with the furious persistence of a wraith. Apparently, he admitted hollowly, he could. He had. Max swallowed hard. Until this very moment he’d have sworn that last night had shown him the responsibility Liz had been living with all this time, he’d have sworn that he understood it. But he hadn’t. Because suddenly he knew what it was to feel the weight of so many innocent lives resting heavily against his heart. So many lives held in his hands, so many people… What right did he have to put his happiness over…everything else in the world.
The eerily similar circumstance of his lives resonated with an immediate, startling clarity. It might have been comforting had his conscience’s growing uneasiness over that very similarity not gone bounding through his brain with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. For a moment he wasn’t certain who was more of an ass; Zahn, for not considering Ava’s feelings at all, or himself…for essentially doing the same thing to Tess.
Tess had been telling him for months to just open himself up to it, to remember. And he finally had. He’d remembered, not the fairy tale that she’d been fed all her life, but the truth. Max sat up in bed, his eyes wide with the sudden realization that he’d just been granted a way out. This was perfect! And he wouldn’t even have to betray Liz’s trust. He just had to tell Tess what he’d learned tonight, not about Liz or the Future, but about the past. He’d explain how Zahn really felt and then she’d understand. She’d know, just as he did that they weren’t destined to be more than friends. Family, he corrected magnanimously. Tess had been there for him when no one else had, and that friendship would always be a part of them, but that’s all they were. Friends. Whatever else she may want, Tess would never want someone who was just going through the motions. She’d never just accept…what she’d already accepted.
Max’s growing enthusiasm for the notion of honest communication was abruptly cut off by reality. This whole time…all Tess had done was accept someone going through the motions. Max shook his head stubbornly, fighting his own logic. She was just…used to feeling that way. He was a habit, one that could be broken. And maybe…
Maybe that’s how he’d destroyed the world the last time.
With a defeated groan, Max fell back against the mattress. There was no choice. There was only the right thing to do. He wanted to be angry, he wanted someone to blame, whether it be God or Destiny. Or Tess. He wanted so badly for this to be her fault. But it wasn’t. Because her version of the past, her memories…were just as real, just as valid as his own. And even beyond the vague shame he felt over Zahn’s easy dismissal of Ava’s feelings, was a more immediate disgust for his own discounting of Tess’. Great, he thought sarcastically. He was an ass two lifetimes in the making. Ava had been in love with Zahn and he’d used that against her, used it to get what he wanted. And Max knew he was about to do the same thing. It galled him, but what choice did he have? What choice had he ever had? Max closed his eyes. He’d been defeated before he’d even joined the fight. The feeling was ages old, as familiar to him as the sound of his name. Either of them. Liz was right. They needed to do this. And Tess couldn’t find out, not about anything.
Max swallowed hard, wishing he could argue the point. But he couldn’t. He knew what it was to have everything you believed in stripped from your heart without ceremony or understanding. He couldn’t put Tess through that. She was his friend, his responsibility but more importantly…doing so wouldn’t make a difference. At least not one Liz would forgive him for. Or that he could ever forgive himself for. He knew too well what it felt like to think everything you’d lived for was gone. He knew the suffocating urge to simply…run, to start over where no one knew you. And couldn’t hurt you. Too many people held him in Roswell, but Tess, all that held her here was…him, he admitted finally. It was the first time he’d acknowledged the truth, but he supposed he’d known it all along. Without the promise of her Destiny, she’d leave. And that would betray everything Liz had gone through and everything she’d tried to protect. The world. Max’s mouth twisted into a humorless half smile. At least there was no pressure…
Turning his head into the pillow, Max fought the emotion that wanted to choke him, the tears that wanted to spill past his restraint and brand him a coward. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he needed more time. More time to…what, he asked himself angrily. All ‘more time’ would get him was longer to…hurt like this, his soul acknowledged softly. Maybe he didn’t need more time. As it was, he’d have the rest of his life.
*******************************
“Liz, I’ve been calling you for, like, hours. For a minute there I thought you and Max got lost in the desert again.” Maria quipped, looking up as her best friend finally emerged from the bathroom.
Liz shrugged noncommittally. She vaguely recalled rolling over a few hours after she’d finally gone to sleep and turning off the annoyingly persistent ringer on her phone. Must have been Maria, she reasoned tiredly. “Sorry.” Liz mumbled obediently, almost grateful for the cool numbness that had replaced the searing pain of the night before, though her shower hadn’t been able to wash away her exhaustion. Not even astral projecting had made her feel so completely outside her own life…and she couldn’t help dreading the return to herself. Maybe she never would return. Shivering a little, Liz wondered it that was a good or a bad thing.
Maria nodded, her eyes narrowing on Liz’s face as shuffled to her closet and then stared blankly at the contents. “You look like crap.” She observed.
“Yeah. Thank you, Maria.” Liz’s brows furrowed as she ignored Maria’s searching gaze and tried to figure out what to wear. Her fingers skimmed briefly over the red shirt that she’d worn the night she and Max had…the ghost of a sad smile brushed her lips and then she turned back to Maria. “Is it warm out?” she asked, shivering a little with the cold. And it wasn’t simply the numbness of her spirit, it was the same chill that had been haunting her since she got up. Even before then, she realized.
Maria stared. “Liz. We live in a desert.”
“Right.” Turning from her closet, Liz grabbed the jeans and t-shirt she’d worn last night and thrown over her desk chair. And then sat on her bed, the clothes bunched in her lap as it finally hit her. Today was…tomorrow. Last night wasn’t a dream. And today was tomorrow.
“So.” Maria started briskly. “Max went after you last night, you know.” She rolled her eyes when it became clear that Liz’s brief nod was all the response she was going to get. “Well, did he find you?” she pressed, exasperated.
“Yeah, he found me.” Liz took a deep breath, grateful that the memory of their completion offset, at least a little, the agony of their separation. “We sort of found each other.” She murmured softly, more to herself than Maria, needing to remember. And needing to be strong.
Maria’s eyes widened at the strangely intimate smile that tugged at her friends lips. For a brief moment Maria had to wonder if Liz even knew she was there. Maybe they had… “Oh my God! You two did get back together!” she squealed. And then promptly shut her mouth when Liz’s entire expression crumbled. “Ok, spill.” Maria demanded impatiently .
About what?” Liz hedged, glancing around her room. God, it was 3:30. Maybe she should just skip getting dressed and go back to bed. It wasn’t like she was hungry or anything. In fact, her stomach was less than appreciative of the smells wafting up from the grill downstairs.
Maria’s brows almost collided with her hairline. “About what? About what?” Maria glared. “Max took off after you like a bat out of hell, - I can’t even tell you how many people are talking about that - apparently caught up with you and…and then nobody hears from you two again until, like, after dawn, according to Isabel and… You’re lucky no one decided to go out looking for you.” She finished, her concern growing as Liz continued to simply stare at her desk. She’d come over, half expecting to hear what she’d been half expecting to hear since Max and Liz started dating, that they’d finally done it. But it was pretty clear from Liz’s expression that whatever they’d done, it wasn’t what everyone thought. “Liz, what happened?” she asked again.
“We talked.” Liz answered.
“Wait, so if you talked…Liz, did you guys really, I mean, really talk?” Maria asked gently. She couldn’t imagine how the two of them actually speaking to each other could have ended this badly.
“Yes, Maria. We really talked.” Liz replied, glaring.
“Sorry.” Maria replied quickly, shaking her head in continued confusion. “But if you guys really talked, how come you’re not back together. I thought that’s what both of you wanted.” She sighed as Liz’s expression became even more guarded. “What the hell happened last night?” she demanded.
Liz shrugged uncomfortably, the fog that had surrounded her since she awoke, beginning to fade as she thought back on everything that happened. For some reason, it was simply too intimate to share, even with Maria. “We had a fight and...” She replied, giving in to Maria’s pointed stare and starting to give an edited version of the evening.
“Wait, wait…” Maria interrupted. “Fight? You and Max had a fight?” She asked skeptically, unable to really picture Max and Liz actually fighting with one another. Through all the tensions of the last months they’d never even raised their voices. As angry as they’d both been, they’d only gotten quieter, more distant, until everyone in the group had begun to try to fill the silence. She couldn’t imagine them actually having a fight. “Like, with yelling and…”
“You know, Maria, I do know what a fight is.” Liz snapped. “And yes, there was yelling and screaming, ok? Are you satisfied, now?”
Maria nodded, ignoring Liz’s tone in favor of the information hiding behind it. This sounded promising. Her mother always said that sometimes the best way to get past something was to fight it out. Of course, Maria acknowledged, her mothers track record in the love department was hardly brag worthy. “So what’d you fight about? The fact that his tongue….”
“I told him about Future Max.” Liz interrupted tiredly. “And can we just…”
Maria blinked, immediately deciding that her mother was right. “About damn time!” she exclaimed, drawing her knees up under her on the bed. “That’s great, sooo…” she nodded her encouragement waiting for Liz to continue the story.
Let it go, Liz finished silently, shaking her head. She was too tired to rehash this and too damned tired to argue with Maria’s obvious intention to do so. “Sooo…then we started yelling at each other...”
“Wait.” Maria commanded. “Max…Max Evans really yelled. At you?” Michael, she could see but Max…
Liz rolled her eyes. “Yes, Maria. Max really yelled. At me.” She said dryly.
“About what?” Maria exploded, her surprise over the fact that Max had a temper forgotten in her sudden indignation. Liz had gone through hell and he was yelling at her? “You saved the world for God’s sake! How could he be mad about that? What kind of idiot…it was his own future self who…”
“Maria, just stop, ok? Just stop.” Liz ground out. “We had a fight and then we got over it and talked. End of story.” She finished, her temper sparking with the same strange protectiveness that she’d felt with Sean. Neither of them could understand what she and Max had just been through, and neither of them had the right to judge it. That right only belonged to her and Max. A fission of suffocating feeling slipped past her exhaustion as she wondered exactly how the two of them would judge this, after… Liz bit her lip, the sudden aching emptiness that came with awareness made her grateful that she was sitting down. And made her wish…made her wish so many things. But she couldn’t forget what they’d been through, or the decision they’d made. Or the last brush of his lips against hers… Blinking back the tears she thought she’d finished shedding, Liz took a deep breath and steadied the uneasy flow of emotion.
“I’m sorry.” Maria apologized, easily recognizing the same grief that had haunted Liz’s features in the weeks following Future Max’s visit. “Liz c’mon, this is me.” She said gently. “I know that’s not the end of the story. If Max knows about…then…I mean, aren’t the two of you getting back together?”
Liz shook her head. “No.” She replied, her voice brittle with the finality of that one syllable. “We’re not.” She finished softly, rising to her feet and heading quickly back into the bathroom to change before Maria could continue her interrogation. She shivered as her bare feet came into contact with the coolness of the bathroom tile, an odd shiver of déjà vu running the length of her spine. She shook it off angrily, wishing it were as easy to shake off the chill foreboding that only echoed her own heartbroken pronouncement. They weren’t getting back together,
********************
“You are so dead.” Isabel hissed with a certain amount of satisfaction as she passed her brother in the hall.
Max blinked. “What?” he whirled quickly and caught his sister by the arm. “Why?”
Isabel stared pointedly until Max dropped her arm and then pounced. “Well, let’s see…Mom and Dad are downstairs talking about you and your nocturnal activities.” She replied, the universal sisterly glee that came from knowing your brother was about to get into trouble, dripping from her voice. She sobered quickly though, lowering her voice as she confronted Max. “And they’re not the only ones interested. Exactly what were you and Liz Parker doing? God, Max! What were you thinking?”
Max stared, taken aback by his sister’s judgment, and more than a little annoyed. “We were talking, if it’s any of your business.” He muttered.
Isabel snorted. “Right. You haven’t talked to Liz in months.”
“How would you know?” Max snapped.
“Because you’ve been moody and unreasonable for months.” Isabel retorted, turning on her heel and heading for her room.
“Excuse me?” Max asked incredulously, but Isabel was already gone, the door to her room closing with a sharp click. Shaking his head he continued making his way to the kitchen, his eyes widening as he heard his parents speaking in loud stage whispers as they moved about the kitchen. Speaking in loud stage whispers about him.
“I thought you liked that he was dating Liz again.”
“I do. I like Liz, but I suddenly remember all the trouble they got into last time.”
Glancing uneasily around the corner, Max felt his heart pounding a little as he waited for his mother to continue.
“I want him happy Phillip, I do, but we can’t let him think that he can just stay out all night with no consequences. We need to set…”
“Boundaries. I know. I’ve been saying that for months but you didn’t want to upset him any more than he already was. I can’t believe you’re more upset that our 17 year old son was out all night drinking…
“And God knows what else.”
Max gaped, his jaw falling open a little at his mothers pointed observation.
“…on Prom night like every other 17 year old boy in Roswell, than you are by the fact that he’s been lying to us for months.”
What the hell? Feeling cornered, Max stared back down the hallway, half convinced this whole thing would just fo away if he went back to bed and avoided what he was sure would become a scene.
“Phillip, really. This is about…”
“Diane, come on! I know you don’t want to admit it but either he’s lying or that kid has spent more time in the woods than Thoreau. With less to show for it!”
“Maybe it wasn’t the woods. Maybe it was the desert with…”
Ok. There was no avoiding that. “We were just talking.” Max interrupted, coming around the corner. He bit his lip as his parents turned to confront him. He really should have gone back to bed because unfortunately he knew that look. He remembered it from the morning he and Liz had walked into the Crashdown after having stayed out all night. Reflexively his fingers closed, catching only air. He gritted his teeth against the pain twisting eagerly through his heart while his fingers balled into a fist. Liz wasn’t next to him, her fingers weren’t linked with his own. And they never would be again. “Liz and I are just friends.”
continued in next post
Tess sighed, glancing uneasily toward the front window before returning her attention to Kyle, who was currently taking up most of the space on the couch. The couch which housed God knew how many lost chips, change and…other things she’d rather not dwell on. The couch she couldn’t seem to make herself vacate. It was ridiculous, this uncharacteristic indecision. And stupid, she added, for good measure. Really stupid. Especially considering that her bed was more far more comfortable than the lumpy cushions on which she was currently pretending to sleep. It wasn’t like there was any legitimate reason to stay. Not even the incredible tenderness of Kyle’s earlier kiss was reason enough to stay. She and Kyle were just…a lot of things, Tess admitted wryly, but they weren’t siblings. Not even close.
Sighing again, Tess studied Kyle’s face, turned boyish and innocent with sleep. When the hell had he moved from a simple distraction to a complication? It had been fun at first, when they were both in it for themselves. When it was just sex. Good sex, great sex, really… Tess swallowed hard. Let it go, she ordered coldly because this, whatever this was, didn’t matter. She couldn’t let it matter. Not if she was going to survive. And win. Tess pursed her lips, her purpose too clear even for herself to ignore. She was going to win. Which left them…right were they were, apparently, she mused distractedly. Too bad she wasn’t foolish enough to believe her own warp.
Tess froze, her eyes closing automatically as Kyle shifted to a more comfortable position on the couch, leaving her pinned under the delicious weight of his body. It wasn’t the first time they’d been in that position, and she was more than tempted to wake him with the kind of kiss they’d shared earlier. It wasn’t like she couldn’t make him forget everything that happened, just as she’d made him forget everything else. Except he hadn’t forgotten. And that left her with no choice but to remember as well.
Tess pushed the door open slowly, her high heeled shoes dangling from one hand in an effort not to wake anybody up. After the stress of her earlier meeting, she was more than grateful that the house was dark and everyone was asleep. She didn’t feel like answering any of Jim’s questions. Or Kyle’s.
“Where have you been?”
Tess jumped. “God, Kyle!” she hissed, glancing uneasily in the direction of Jim’s room as her shoes fell, clattering gracelessly against the floor. “What are you doing in the dark?”
“Trying to sleep. This is my room, remember?” Kyle replied, the dramatic sweep of his arm encompassing the living room. “Where have you been?” he repeated quietly.
“Just driving.” Tess replied, shrugging uncomfortably. She didn’t want to risk warping him any more than she had to, but if he continued to ask questions she’d be left with no choice. At least not one she wanted to make.
“Are you ok? Did something else happen tonight?”
“What? Why? Why would you ask that?” Tess stammered, surprised from her morbid thoughts by the sincere concern she heard in his voice.
It was Kyle’s turn to shrug uncomfortably. “I saw Evans when he went after Liz. I thought maybe you were…you know, upset or…something.”
Tess felt herself smiling a little over the way Kyle was shifting uneasily from one foot to the other, protective and strong and strangely serious. Completely unlike his normal sarcastic self. “I’m used to it.” she sighed.
“Still…you shouldn’t have to take that. You deserve someone who, who wants you.” Kyle rushed out, stepping towards her with sudden determination. “You deserve someone who realizes that…how lucky he is that you’re waiting.”
Tess blinked, surprised by the vehemence of his voice and the heat of his body. “Kyle…” When had he moved? When had he gotten so close? She took a half step back and then stepped forward again, uncertainly.
“Look, I know…I know I said that you were like my…sister.” Kyle shook his head, still unable to lose the fog that had been clouding his mind since earlier. He knew that he’d said it, he just couldn’t quite understand why he’d said it. “But, Tess…I think…”
The kiss itself wasn’t surprising, and neither was the familiar impetus to move beyond it into something more. But this time…she could feel Kyle forcefully setting aside the last of his discomfort over her alienness, dropping his reserve in the desperate attempt to let her know that…he saw her. He saw what no one else did, and he knew that there was more to her even than that. And he wanted to be the one to see all of her.
It had been nice, Tess admitted wistfully, his desire to really see her. Impossible, but nice. It was a surprising change from her betrothed, who had never even bothered to look. And why would Max bother, she questioned sarcastically, he had Liz. The fucking end all and be all. Tess felt her blood fire as she considered ‘The perfect Miss Parker’. The angry humiliation she felt was almost comforting in its familiarity. Even after everything, even if it had all been true…Liz Parker would still be perfection in his eyes.
She used to wonder if things would have been different, if he’d have felt differently had they been together from the beginning…or maybe she would have. But that didn’t matter anymore, if it ever had. Quite suddenly, Tess found that she was disgusted by her own venom. It was beneath her. And the selfish wallowing in hurt feelings…ridiculous. Feelings had no place within her current predicament. Tess shook her head. She wasn’t even sure of her place within her current predicament. Not that it mattered. There was no backing out. But she’d known that all along, hadn’t she? Alex would certainly say yes.
Kyle moaned a little, rolling over onto his back when Tess’ abrupt departure from the couch upset his comfortable position. Moving more slowly so as not to disturb him further, she stood up and then leaned over his prone form, resting her hand lightly against his temple. “Just sleep.” She intoned. “Sleep. And…” For a brief moment Tess let herself wonder what Kyle would do if she allowed him wake up, right this minute, and remember everything. What would he say if she told him everything; her mission, what was at stake, the danger she was so clearly in…what she’d been doing this whole time. Tess closed her eyes against the unfamiliar sting of tears as reality fell back into focus and steadied her resolve, making the decision for her. Kyle was too much like his father, too much a cop to be able to understand, or forgive, the things she’d had to do, the things she’d still have to do, to survive. She didn’t have a choice. She’d never had a choice. And now it was time to finish what was already begun. “Sister.” Tess whispered, her eyes avoiding the soft glow under her palm. “I’m like your sister.”
Heading into the kitchen, Tess picked up the phone. And immediately shoved it back in its cradle, taking a quick step back. She was too tired to do this now, she told herself. She didn’t have the focus necessary, considering how distracted Alex had been since his return to Roswell. He’d just have to wait til later. Kyle’s soft snoring followed her as she padded back to her room. She turned to look at him once more, called by the serenity of his features and the promise of… Turning her back, Tess crossed the threshold and waved a hand at the door, closing it softly and shutting out the sounds from the living room as she climbed into her own bed. It was more comfortable anyway.
*************************
Liz whimpered softly, rolling over and managing only to tangle herself more completely in the bedsheet. Her breathing became more labored as the peaceful respite once promised by sleep was lost completely in the frightened confusion currently strangling her dream. Why couldn’t she reach him? Why… She could feel the cool smoothness of the glass under her fingers, and the terrible beating of her heart, but the warmth of his palm was lost somewhere in the sudden darkness…his sudden absence. She pushed harder, feeling only the yawning chasm as it opened between them, separating them in a way she hadn’t thought possible anymore. It tore her apart, the sudden emptiness that now existed in place of his presence. He was gone…lost. Even as he pulled desperately at the very heart of her being.
Breathing heavily, Liz fought against the suffocating loneliness, reaching for consciousness as some small part of her mind clung to the belief that this nightmare reality was simply a dream. It had to be a dream. So why couldn’t she wake herself up?
Oh, God. Maybe last night was the dream…
The tears were real. Liz knew that because she could feel them still coursing hotly down her cheeks. But the rest… Please be a dream. Please be a dream. This has to be a dream... Because she couldn’t imagine waking up to a reality where she couldn’t feel him. Ignoring the harsh foreboding of her nightmare, Liz reached out in stubborn insistence just as her dream self had. And felt only the dull ache of her failure. No, no, no…her soul sang angrily against the possibility of his loss and reached farther, almost beyond its grasp, stretching thin until…successs. Her labored breathing eased as the connection she’d been seeking sparked to life with the ease of long practice, leaving her safe. Dimly she was aware of something upsetting him, something she could neither see nor understand, only feel. Feel and fear as it moved forward with growing insistence, casting a long, dark shadow over everything.
Without conscious thought she clung more tightly to him, wrapping around his shivering soul as he held onto her, brought to a standstill by the rush of cold emotion she could feel echoing insistently around him. Wanting to pull him in…
*************************
Max struggled fitfully, hating the memory, and hating the personality that seemed to come out of nowhere, inevitably shrouding his own. It smothered him, leaving him someone he’d never wanted to be, someone who could nevertheless lay claim to his life. Through all his sessions of memory retrieval he’d been able to maintain some distance, some vague semblance of self. But not this time. The past beckoned insistently, tempting him forward and leaving him alone, adrift even within his own mind. This time Max could feel the coldness of the stone under his feet, through his shoes, chilling him, though Zahn was used to the winters on Antar. Looked forward to them, in fact.
Antar. The name had never struck him quite like this before. Antar…
Brows furrowed in consternation, Max struggled to ignore the path his own conscience seemed to be charting. He didn’t want to know anymore. Only he did. And he couldn’t stop. The feelings pressed in on him, and suddenly Antar loomed more real even than Earth. Earth, he repeated, trying to focus. Home. But it didn’t matter. Zahn was calling, demanding obedience with the indisputable authority of a King and Max had nothing, not the power to deny him or even a fixed point of reference to anchor him in the midst of the torpid recollection. But even more disturbing, there would be nothing of comfort in waking. He would still be alone. It was a familiar despair, and yet…wrong. Somehow it was wrong. Because there was something holding onto him, someone steadying him. He could feel her, whispering softly of safety, shelter from the aching loneliness if only he would reach for her. If only he’d do what had become so difficult, and trust his own instinctive need to grasp something he’d always known was beyond his reach. Her siren call was as insistent as Zahn’s reflection. And more tempting. It was so easy, Max realized suddenly, to focus not on fighting the memory, but reaching through it…for her.
Trembling, Max felt himself falling deeper into the detail of a moment gone by, forced closer to the past even as he clung to the security of her presence. This was like nothing he’d ever felt before, not even the memory retrieval. This was…real. And somehow in the midst of that oddly terrifying revelation his soul was calm, wrapped around her and easily aware of himself. Even, he acknowledged uncomfortably, as he existed uneasily within someone else’s skin. Someone else’s he insisted fiercely, grateful for the quick acknowledgement. She knew him. She understood. He wanted to look away, wanted to wake up, but he couldn’t. And then it didn’t matter what he wanted, if it ever really had…
“A great love!” Raath toasted.
Zahn raised an amused brow, turning from the window to confront his brother in law. “So I’ve heard.” He said wryly, accepting the toast nevertheless with a hearty sip of his drink.
Raath blinked, his eyes narrowing on his King. “Seems we’ve all heard that.” He shook his head. Obviously the Western front was much farther from home than he’d realized, because he was clearly well out of the loop. But not for long. “In fact,” Raath pressed. “It was all that was spoken of at the Shi’Ligh holding. Congratulations from Euster, by the way.”
Zahn nodded, a grin lighting his features at the mention of one of his oldest friends. “And how is Euster?”
“Fine. And don’t change the subject.” Raath ordered dryly. “Considering that my wife and your bride both met me at the gates with the glad tidings, I had assumed the ‘Great Love’ rumor to be accurate.”
Zahn nodded absently, breathing in the chill scent of the approaching winter. The first blush of the amaranthine flowers was already visible along the castle wall. The viscid, cyclical buds were early this year, a good sign according to those of his subjects who knew of such things. It appeared that the Winter Wedding would be blessed even by Mother Serenity. Startled from his thoughts by Raath’s pointed cough, Zahn returned to the present conversation. “Forgive me. It is indeed the love that they speak of. That is what history will record, after all.”
“Right. And you?” Raath shook his head. “Learn from my mistakes.” He warned darkly. “And the priests…surely they’ve warned you against this course of action.”
“It is both time honored and effective.”
“Not on this planet. Such alliances only bring destruction. The priests will have…”
“They don’t know. My bride is most convincing.” Zahn mumbled, unable to meet Raath’s harsh gaze.
“Your bride is in love with you!” Raath burst out.
Zahn sighed heavily. “I know.” And he did. But even more than that he knew what the bold fusing of his position with Ava’s would mean to the stability of the planet. “I appreciate…”
“Appreciate? By the Fates, Zahn, do you care for her at all?” Raath asked, nonplussed.
Zahn glanced up, mildly surprised by the question. “Of course.” He replied. “She is kind and gentle…the people adore her. That alone would be enough, but as you pointed out…”
“You could be describing a Fulya!” Rath interrupted incredulously, gesturing towards the great beast lounging lazily on the end of Zahn’s bed.
“As you pointed out,” Zahn continued, ignoring the vulgarity of the comparison.” She is in love with me. That guarantees that she will also be loyal to the crown.”
“My point exactly.” Raath said triumphantly, again gesturing at the animal that had been trotting at Zahn’s heels for more than twenty years. Brayen raised his ancient head and wagged at the General, his three pronged tail almost removing one of his eyes.
Zahn covered a smile as Raath backed out of harms way. “Ava is hardly a Fulya. She is already working to place the children left orphaned by this war...she is as desperate for peace as I am.” Zahn’s mouth curled in victorious amusement. “Much to the dismay of her cousin.”
Raath grinned, momentarily sidetracked. “I would have paid real money to have seen Khivar’s face…”
“Priceless.” Zahn acknowledged succinctly.
“And what happens when she realizes how you truly feel.” Raath asked darkly, sobering at the thought of the enemy they’d just let into the family.
Zahn raised a brow. “Who says she’ll ever find out?” he questioned. “I am well aware of the depth of her feelings and what this marriage means. To both of us. I would never betray that, or her.”
Raath sighed. When Zahn was set on a course there was little to do except sit back and enjoy the ride…or try to survive the aftermath. “At least she takes after her mothers side of the family.” He mentioned morosely.
“That she does.” Zahn agreed with relish. He may not have found the soulmate required by tradition, but siring the heir required by practicality would hardly be a sacrifice. “There are few as beautiful as she. And in the absence of love…”
“Beauty must needs suffice.” Raath finished sharing a grin with Zahn as he refilled his drink, losing himself in memories of their youth, certain his brother in law was doing the same.
“There was certainly much beauty.” Zahn commented.
Raath’s lips twitched. “I loved them all.” He averred, choosing to ignore his leaders ungracious snort. “For Antar!” he toasted, raising his glass yet again.
Zahn drained his drink. “Who else?”
Max awoke with a start, cringing against the last shadow of memory as it played itself out in his head. The pragmatism of Zahn’s resolve echoed with a chill familiarity, leaving his blood running cold, so cold that he felt like the winter winds were still blowing all around him. And with the cold came the numbness he thought he’d wanted last night.
He wanted it gone, wanted all of it gone…the cold, the memory, and most especially, the responsibility he’d assumed for the second time in as many lives.
It was getting old, Max thought angrily. And he was so tired.
Even beyond the cold, was the sheer exhaustion he couldn’t seem to shake. It seemed that the last two lifetimes spent fighting the inevitable had finally caught up with him, leaving him utterly spent. Max shook his head. And apparently overdramatic, he thought with grim amusement. He glanced at the clock, relieved to see that the day was more than half over. Maybe he wouldn’t have to get out of bed. Except if he didn’t…there’d be nothing to distract him from the voices still ringing through his torn psyche.
In the absence of love, beauty must needs suffice.
The sheer, unfeeling practicality of the phrase, not to mention Zahn’s easy acceptance of the tenet mocked him. It was such a sharp contrast to the depth of the sacrifice that Liz had made, and then demanded of him. Zahn considered no one else, nothing else mattered to him except his sacred and all consuming responsibility to…Antar. Angrily, Max wondered if Zahn would have been so eager to forego love if he’d ever really felt it. Last night’s decision aside, Max was suddenly aware that he himself…couldn’t.
There had to be another way.
Max nodded, his eyes narrowing as he considered last night from a fresh perspective. He’d have to find another way, because he simply couldn’t do as Liz had asked. It was a difficult admission to make, considering the repercussions, but he couldn’t help feeling vaguely relieved. Until the flashes of his future self began to echo through his mind with the furious persistence of a wraith. Apparently, he admitted hollowly, he could. He had. Max swallowed hard. Until this very moment he’d have sworn that last night had shown him the responsibility Liz had been living with all this time, he’d have sworn that he understood it. But he hadn’t. Because suddenly he knew what it was to feel the weight of so many innocent lives resting heavily against his heart. So many lives held in his hands, so many people… What right did he have to put his happiness over…everything else in the world.
The eerily similar circumstance of his lives resonated with an immediate, startling clarity. It might have been comforting had his conscience’s growing uneasiness over that very similarity not gone bounding through his brain with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. For a moment he wasn’t certain who was more of an ass; Zahn, for not considering Ava’s feelings at all, or himself…for essentially doing the same thing to Tess.
Tess had been telling him for months to just open himself up to it, to remember. And he finally had. He’d remembered, not the fairy tale that she’d been fed all her life, but the truth. Max sat up in bed, his eyes wide with the sudden realization that he’d just been granted a way out. This was perfect! And he wouldn’t even have to betray Liz’s trust. He just had to tell Tess what he’d learned tonight, not about Liz or the Future, but about the past. He’d explain how Zahn really felt and then she’d understand. She’d know, just as he did that they weren’t destined to be more than friends. Family, he corrected magnanimously. Tess had been there for him when no one else had, and that friendship would always be a part of them, but that’s all they were. Friends. Whatever else she may want, Tess would never want someone who was just going through the motions. She’d never just accept…what she’d already accepted.
Max’s growing enthusiasm for the notion of honest communication was abruptly cut off by reality. This whole time…all Tess had done was accept someone going through the motions. Max shook his head stubbornly, fighting his own logic. She was just…used to feeling that way. He was a habit, one that could be broken. And maybe…
Maybe that’s how he’d destroyed the world the last time.
With a defeated groan, Max fell back against the mattress. There was no choice. There was only the right thing to do. He wanted to be angry, he wanted someone to blame, whether it be God or Destiny. Or Tess. He wanted so badly for this to be her fault. But it wasn’t. Because her version of the past, her memories…were just as real, just as valid as his own. And even beyond the vague shame he felt over Zahn’s easy dismissal of Ava’s feelings, was a more immediate disgust for his own discounting of Tess’. Great, he thought sarcastically. He was an ass two lifetimes in the making. Ava had been in love with Zahn and he’d used that against her, used it to get what he wanted. And Max knew he was about to do the same thing. It galled him, but what choice did he have? What choice had he ever had? Max closed his eyes. He’d been defeated before he’d even joined the fight. The feeling was ages old, as familiar to him as the sound of his name. Either of them. Liz was right. They needed to do this. And Tess couldn’t find out, not about anything.
Max swallowed hard, wishing he could argue the point. But he couldn’t. He knew what it was to have everything you believed in stripped from your heart without ceremony or understanding. He couldn’t put Tess through that. She was his friend, his responsibility but more importantly…doing so wouldn’t make a difference. At least not one Liz would forgive him for. Or that he could ever forgive himself for. He knew too well what it felt like to think everything you’d lived for was gone. He knew the suffocating urge to simply…run, to start over where no one knew you. And couldn’t hurt you. Too many people held him in Roswell, but Tess, all that held her here was…him, he admitted finally. It was the first time he’d acknowledged the truth, but he supposed he’d known it all along. Without the promise of her Destiny, she’d leave. And that would betray everything Liz had gone through and everything she’d tried to protect. The world. Max’s mouth twisted into a humorless half smile. At least there was no pressure…
Turning his head into the pillow, Max fought the emotion that wanted to choke him, the tears that wanted to spill past his restraint and brand him a coward. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he needed more time. More time to…what, he asked himself angrily. All ‘more time’ would get him was longer to…hurt like this, his soul acknowledged softly. Maybe he didn’t need more time. As it was, he’d have the rest of his life.
*******************************
“Liz, I’ve been calling you for, like, hours. For a minute there I thought you and Max got lost in the desert again.” Maria quipped, looking up as her best friend finally emerged from the bathroom.
Liz shrugged noncommittally. She vaguely recalled rolling over a few hours after she’d finally gone to sleep and turning off the annoyingly persistent ringer on her phone. Must have been Maria, she reasoned tiredly. “Sorry.” Liz mumbled obediently, almost grateful for the cool numbness that had replaced the searing pain of the night before, though her shower hadn’t been able to wash away her exhaustion. Not even astral projecting had made her feel so completely outside her own life…and she couldn’t help dreading the return to herself. Maybe she never would return. Shivering a little, Liz wondered it that was a good or a bad thing.
Maria nodded, her eyes narrowing on Liz’s face as shuffled to her closet and then stared blankly at the contents. “You look like crap.” She observed.
“Yeah. Thank you, Maria.” Liz’s brows furrowed as she ignored Maria’s searching gaze and tried to figure out what to wear. Her fingers skimmed briefly over the red shirt that she’d worn the night she and Max had…the ghost of a sad smile brushed her lips and then she turned back to Maria. “Is it warm out?” she asked, shivering a little with the cold. And it wasn’t simply the numbness of her spirit, it was the same chill that had been haunting her since she got up. Even before then, she realized.
Maria stared. “Liz. We live in a desert.”
“Right.” Turning from her closet, Liz grabbed the jeans and t-shirt she’d worn last night and thrown over her desk chair. And then sat on her bed, the clothes bunched in her lap as it finally hit her. Today was…tomorrow. Last night wasn’t a dream. And today was tomorrow.
“So.” Maria started briskly. “Max went after you last night, you know.” She rolled her eyes when it became clear that Liz’s brief nod was all the response she was going to get. “Well, did he find you?” she pressed, exasperated.
“Yeah, he found me.” Liz took a deep breath, grateful that the memory of their completion offset, at least a little, the agony of their separation. “We sort of found each other.” She murmured softly, more to herself than Maria, needing to remember. And needing to be strong.
Maria’s eyes widened at the strangely intimate smile that tugged at her friends lips. For a brief moment Maria had to wonder if Liz even knew she was there. Maybe they had… “Oh my God! You two did get back together!” she squealed. And then promptly shut her mouth when Liz’s entire expression crumbled. “Ok, spill.” Maria demanded impatiently .
About what?” Liz hedged, glancing around her room. God, it was 3:30. Maybe she should just skip getting dressed and go back to bed. It wasn’t like she was hungry or anything. In fact, her stomach was less than appreciative of the smells wafting up from the grill downstairs.
Maria’s brows almost collided with her hairline. “About what? About what?” Maria glared. “Max took off after you like a bat out of hell, - I can’t even tell you how many people are talking about that - apparently caught up with you and…and then nobody hears from you two again until, like, after dawn, according to Isabel and… You’re lucky no one decided to go out looking for you.” She finished, her concern growing as Liz continued to simply stare at her desk. She’d come over, half expecting to hear what she’d been half expecting to hear since Max and Liz started dating, that they’d finally done it. But it was pretty clear from Liz’s expression that whatever they’d done, it wasn’t what everyone thought. “Liz, what happened?” she asked again.
“We talked.” Liz answered.
“Wait, so if you talked…Liz, did you guys really, I mean, really talk?” Maria asked gently. She couldn’t imagine how the two of them actually speaking to each other could have ended this badly.
“Yes, Maria. We really talked.” Liz replied, glaring.
“Sorry.” Maria replied quickly, shaking her head in continued confusion. “But if you guys really talked, how come you’re not back together. I thought that’s what both of you wanted.” She sighed as Liz’s expression became even more guarded. “What the hell happened last night?” she demanded.
Liz shrugged uncomfortably, the fog that had surrounded her since she awoke, beginning to fade as she thought back on everything that happened. For some reason, it was simply too intimate to share, even with Maria. “We had a fight and...” She replied, giving in to Maria’s pointed stare and starting to give an edited version of the evening.
“Wait, wait…” Maria interrupted. “Fight? You and Max had a fight?” She asked skeptically, unable to really picture Max and Liz actually fighting with one another. Through all the tensions of the last months they’d never even raised their voices. As angry as they’d both been, they’d only gotten quieter, more distant, until everyone in the group had begun to try to fill the silence. She couldn’t imagine them actually having a fight. “Like, with yelling and…”
“You know, Maria, I do know what a fight is.” Liz snapped. “And yes, there was yelling and screaming, ok? Are you satisfied, now?”
Maria nodded, ignoring Liz’s tone in favor of the information hiding behind it. This sounded promising. Her mother always said that sometimes the best way to get past something was to fight it out. Of course, Maria acknowledged, her mothers track record in the love department was hardly brag worthy. “So what’d you fight about? The fact that his tongue….”
“I told him about Future Max.” Liz interrupted tiredly. “And can we just…”
Maria blinked, immediately deciding that her mother was right. “About damn time!” she exclaimed, drawing her knees up under her on the bed. “That’s great, sooo…” she nodded her encouragement waiting for Liz to continue the story.
Let it go, Liz finished silently, shaking her head. She was too tired to rehash this and too damned tired to argue with Maria’s obvious intention to do so. “Sooo…then we started yelling at each other...”
“Wait.” Maria commanded. “Max…Max Evans really yelled. At you?” Michael, she could see but Max…
Liz rolled her eyes. “Yes, Maria. Max really yelled. At me.” She said dryly.
“About what?” Maria exploded, her surprise over the fact that Max had a temper forgotten in her sudden indignation. Liz had gone through hell and he was yelling at her? “You saved the world for God’s sake! How could he be mad about that? What kind of idiot…it was his own future self who…”
“Maria, just stop, ok? Just stop.” Liz ground out. “We had a fight and then we got over it and talked. End of story.” She finished, her temper sparking with the same strange protectiveness that she’d felt with Sean. Neither of them could understand what she and Max had just been through, and neither of them had the right to judge it. That right only belonged to her and Max. A fission of suffocating feeling slipped past her exhaustion as she wondered exactly how the two of them would judge this, after… Liz bit her lip, the sudden aching emptiness that came with awareness made her grateful that she was sitting down. And made her wish…made her wish so many things. But she couldn’t forget what they’d been through, or the decision they’d made. Or the last brush of his lips against hers… Blinking back the tears she thought she’d finished shedding, Liz took a deep breath and steadied the uneasy flow of emotion.
“I’m sorry.” Maria apologized, easily recognizing the same grief that had haunted Liz’s features in the weeks following Future Max’s visit. “Liz c’mon, this is me.” She said gently. “I know that’s not the end of the story. If Max knows about…then…I mean, aren’t the two of you getting back together?”
Liz shook her head. “No.” She replied, her voice brittle with the finality of that one syllable. “We’re not.” She finished softly, rising to her feet and heading quickly back into the bathroom to change before Maria could continue her interrogation. She shivered as her bare feet came into contact with the coolness of the bathroom tile, an odd shiver of déjà vu running the length of her spine. She shook it off angrily, wishing it were as easy to shake off the chill foreboding that only echoed her own heartbroken pronouncement. They weren’t getting back together,
********************
“You are so dead.” Isabel hissed with a certain amount of satisfaction as she passed her brother in the hall.
Max blinked. “What?” he whirled quickly and caught his sister by the arm. “Why?”
Isabel stared pointedly until Max dropped her arm and then pounced. “Well, let’s see…Mom and Dad are downstairs talking about you and your nocturnal activities.” She replied, the universal sisterly glee that came from knowing your brother was about to get into trouble, dripping from her voice. She sobered quickly though, lowering her voice as she confronted Max. “And they’re not the only ones interested. Exactly what were you and Liz Parker doing? God, Max! What were you thinking?”
Max stared, taken aback by his sister’s judgment, and more than a little annoyed. “We were talking, if it’s any of your business.” He muttered.
Isabel snorted. “Right. You haven’t talked to Liz in months.”
“How would you know?” Max snapped.
“Because you’ve been moody and unreasonable for months.” Isabel retorted, turning on her heel and heading for her room.
“Excuse me?” Max asked incredulously, but Isabel was already gone, the door to her room closing with a sharp click. Shaking his head he continued making his way to the kitchen, his eyes widening as he heard his parents speaking in loud stage whispers as they moved about the kitchen. Speaking in loud stage whispers about him.
“I thought you liked that he was dating Liz again.”
“I do. I like Liz, but I suddenly remember all the trouble they got into last time.”
Glancing uneasily around the corner, Max felt his heart pounding a little as he waited for his mother to continue.
“I want him happy Phillip, I do, but we can’t let him think that he can just stay out all night with no consequences. We need to set…”
“Boundaries. I know. I’ve been saying that for months but you didn’t want to upset him any more than he already was. I can’t believe you’re more upset that our 17 year old son was out all night drinking…
“And God knows what else.”
Max gaped, his jaw falling open a little at his mothers pointed observation.
“…on Prom night like every other 17 year old boy in Roswell, than you are by the fact that he’s been lying to us for months.”
What the hell? Feeling cornered, Max stared back down the hallway, half convinced this whole thing would just fo away if he went back to bed and avoided what he was sure would become a scene.
“Phillip, really. This is about…”
“Diane, come on! I know you don’t want to admit it but either he’s lying or that kid has spent more time in the woods than Thoreau. With less to show for it!”
“Maybe it wasn’t the woods. Maybe it was the desert with…”
Ok. There was no avoiding that. “We were just talking.” Max interrupted, coming around the corner. He bit his lip as his parents turned to confront him. He really should have gone back to bed because unfortunately he knew that look. He remembered it from the morning he and Liz had walked into the Crashdown after having stayed out all night. Reflexively his fingers closed, catching only air. He gritted his teeth against the pain twisting eagerly through his heart while his fingers balled into a fist. Liz wasn’t next to him, her fingers weren’t linked with his own. And they never would be again. “Liz and I are just friends.”
continued in next post
The fact that we are fools is duly noted...
But must that be our epitaph?
-SRC
I'd be an idiot if I weren't less than pleased about being doomed.
- Warren Zevon
But must that be our epitaph?
-SRC
I'd be an idiot if I weren't less than pleased about being doomed.
- Warren Zevon
Maria pursed her lips, watching as Liz finally emerged from the bathroom twenty minutes later. “Get lost?” she quipped dryly.
“I didn’t know you were still here.” Liz replied.
Ouch. Maria shook off the obvious dismissal and nodded pointedly at the tray sitting on Liz’s desk. Her best friend may not want to talk, but she definitely needed to. “Your mom wanted me to make sure you ate before I left.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Take a bite anyway.” Maria advised. “Your mom’s a little worried. Something about you crying in your sleep…”
Liz sighed heavily. “Right.” As put upon as she felt with Maria’s continued presence, she supposed she ought to be grateful that her mother wasn’t in here trying to pry into her life.
Maria waited until Liz had picked up a piece of toast and started chewing dutifully, and pointedly, before she started pushing again. “So, you were telling me about why you and Max decided not to get back together.
Actually, I wasn’t, Liz thought in frustration. “Maria, look. We decided to be friends, is that a crime?
Maria stared. “You what?” She shook her head in disbelief. “Lemme get this straight. After everything, you two just WHAM! decided to be friends? You and…we are talking Max Evans here, right?”
“Will you stop saying his name like that?” Liz ground out in frustration.
“Liz, come on. You have to admit, it’s a bit shocking that Max ‘I’ve-been-not-so-secretly-pining-after-Liz-Parker-for-years’ Evans just decided, completely out of the blue, I might add, that he wanted to just be…” Maria fell silent, her eyes narrowing indignantly before she continued. “Tell me, after all this, he decided he wanted to check out his alien side. Or someone else’s alien side.” She muttered under her breath. “What did he do just wake up and decide he wasn’t in love with you? Oh my God, Liz. Is that why…” She trailed off uncertainly as Liz’s devastated expression finally caught her attention. “I’m gonna kill him.” She whispered vehemently.
“No. Maria that’s not what happened.” Liz denied swiftly, feeling her stomach churn. “He…he loves me so much. As much as I love him.” She said softly, hating that the knowledge was nowhere near as comforting as it should have been. “But…he needs to be with Tess. He needs to keep her here. Don’t you remember the whole point of him coming back in time? Don’t you…”
“Liz, listen to me.” Maria broke in, her heart aching for the unshed tears glistening in Liz’s eyes. “I know you’re trying to do the right thing…”
“We’re both trying to do the right thing.” Liz interjected softly.
Maria nodded. “Right. So…Max is king, why doesn’t he just order her…”
“Come on, Maria. Can you imagine Tess taking that well? It’d only drive her away faster. And we can’t let that happen.” No matter how much I might want to, Liz admitted silently. “ We’re talking about the world, here, we can’t just forget about it.” She whispered miserably.
Maria shook her head helplessly. “Yeah, but…are you sure that there’s no way to…Hey! Maybe you should go back and see Madame Vivian. Maybe she’ll see something…”
“I am done with that woman!” Liz burst out. “And the future. I’m done with everything.”
“Well, Liz not every…” Maria broke off in the face of Liz’s frustrated grief. “So this is the only way to make everything…” she asked, tears of commiseration welling in her own eyes.
“Yeah.” Liz said, nodding, even as she closed her eyes against Maria’s sympathetic expression, and the tears, which fell nonetheless. “Everything’s gonna be ok, now.” She whispered brokenly.
“Liz…” Maria shook her head, knowing somehow that there was nothing she could say that would make this right, or even better. She stood up, intending to comfort her best friend, but stopped when Liz flinched away. She pointed at the door awkwardly, realizing suddenly that Liz wanted neither her comfort nor her presence at the moment. “I’m gonna just…yeah.” She paused with her hand on the knob. “Look we’re all getting together later, you know do the whole after prom thing…you know what, forget I said anything. You wouldn’t want to see Tess and…” Maria fell silent, closing her eyes briefly and wishing she could find the right the thing to say. She shrugged apologetically as Liz dropped her toast and shoved the plate away. “I’ll see you tomorrow at school.” Maria finished quietly, slipping out the door without waiting for a response.
Liz swallowed hard as her stomach heaved. She glanced at her bed and then hastily crawled back in, fully dressed. She was grateful that Maria was gone. She wished she could get rid of the gut twisting nausea, which only served to prove that her life wasn’t a dream, as easily. She was in hell, and it wasn’t a dream.
*****************************
Max shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other as he endured his parent’s silent scrutiny. Deciding quickly that the best defense was a good offense, and knowing suddenly that he needed a good defense, he turned to his mother. “Mom, really, I’m sorry for worrying you but I wasn’t out drinking or, or doing…anything else. Liz and I spent the night talking.” He explained earnestly. But he could already tell by the queasiness in the pit of his stomach that his parents weren’t buying it. So much for honesty being the best policy. Not that he’d ever really adhered to that one before, his conscience took the time to point out. The sudden guilt roiled angrily through his stomach.
Phillip shook his head, studying Max’s drawn, pale features and puffy eyes. He wasn’t so old that he’d forgotten what a hangover looked like. “Son.” He began gently. “Do your mother and I look stupid.”
Max blinked, his father’s tone putting him immediately on guard. “No?”
Diane sighed. “Was that a question?” she asked dryly.
“No! No, I just, I don’t know what you want me to say…”
“We want the truth, Max not some well crafted lie to keep us out of your life!” Phillip bit out. He took a deep breath when Diane took hold of his arm, correctly interpreting both her fear and the stiffening of his son’s spine. “Max, listen to me. I just…” he shook his head helplessly, already recognizing the guarded look in his son’s eyes. “Your mother and I just want you to trust us. So we can trust you.” He finished pointedly.
“Dad…you can trust me, I swear. Mom, honest, we weren’t drinking and we weren’t…we didn’t do anything wrong.” Max averred desperately.
Diane shook her head sadly. “Sweetheart, look in the mirror.” She pressed a hand against Max’s forehead, feeling the slight clamminess of his skin. “I know you think we’re ancient but, honey I’ve had hangovers…” She broke off when Max stepped away.
“I don’t have a hangover.” Max ground out. “I’m just tired.”
“How can you be tired? You’ve been asleep since you got home.”
Max opened his mouth to argue, recognizing that his father was moving with dangerous speed into lawyer mode, but his mother cut him off.
“At 6:30 in the morning, by the way.”
“You didn’t give me a curfew.” Max said defensively.
“We kind of thought you were smart enough to realize that you were expected to come home.”
“I did!”
“This morning!” Diane bit out. She took a deep, calming breath, almost feeling Max pushing them farther than the arms length he’d been holding them at for the last year. “Honey, listen. We were your age once. We understand hormones and, and…” she closed her eyes briefly and then forced herself to continue. “…wanting to be with someone…sexually.”
“MOM!” Max burst out taking a hasty step backward and wondering how it was possible that his day had actually gotten worse. “Nothing happened.”
Diane continued as if he hadn’t said anything. “But you still need to behave responsibly.”
“I did.”
“So you were having sex.” Phillip interjected. “Responsibly.” He added dryly.
“NO!” Max turned and stared at his father, aghast. “Dad, nothing happened! We had some things that we needed to say to each other and we talked. That’s it. Period. There was no sex, no drinking, no…nothing happened.” He repeated lamely. At least not what you think, he amended silently, for the sake of honesty. He swallowed hard, rubbing his stomach absently and wondering when the hell this nausea was going to go away. He could tell by the skeptical looks on his parent’s faces that it wasn’t helping his argument any.
Diane sighed. She could see that Max was paler even than he had been a few minutes ago, and he appeared to have broken out in a cold sweat. It was the first time she could ever remember her son really looking ill. And from the expression on his face he was as surprised by that fact as she was. “Max we’re not going to argue with you. You and Liz only just got back together.” She raised a hand, silencing her son’s protest. “And whether you believe this now or not, you need to take things slowly. And your father and I are going to make sure that you do.”
Max shrugged, desperate for the conversation to be over so that he could go to his room and deal whatever the hell was wrong with him.
“Max, are you even listening to your mother?” Phillip demanded.
Max nodded, which was a mistake. “Just…hang…” and then he bolted for the bathroom. Over the sound of his retching he heard his father snort out a disbelieving ‘Not hung over!’ and then he blocked that out as well. What felt like a lifetime later he sighed, feeling oddly better now that his stomach was emptied of it contents. Gross and disgusting, but better. He used his powers to get rid of the aftertaste and rested his head against the cool porcelain of the toilet. He’d never known the damn thing was so comfortable.
Straightening, Max frowned, thoroughly confused over his first bout of real sickness. Almost instinctively, he thought to call Liz. Even if she didn’t have an answer she’d probably be able to come up with some plan to investigate this latest development, something suitably scientific, of course. And then he’d have to see her, maybe touch… Max closed his eyes, knowing too well that the call would only be an excuse. He could already sense that there was nothing actually wrong with him. Nothing that was going to change, anyway. He sighed heavily. Great, now he was making himself sick, so Liz could play…doctor. Max screwed his eyes shut, his head dropping heavily against the back of the toilet. He was in hell, he realized distantly. But if he stayed right here maybe everyone would just leave him alone.
****************************
Ava watched silently as the minutes ticked by on the cable box. She’d heard the roar of the El Dorado’s engine as it pulled from the motel parking lot, but had waited twenty minutes just to be on the safe side. Taking a deep breath, she got up and made her way to the door. “Now or neva.” She muttered to herself, opening the door. And ‘never’ really wasn’t an option.
“Miss me?”
Jesus! Ava jumped back into the room, retreating another step in defense against the bulky form silhouetted in the doorway. “Rath! “ She burst out in surprise, glancing over his shoulder at the parking lot, though for help or in the hopes that Serena was really gone, she wasn’t certain.
“The one ‘n only.” Rath replied, looking over his shoulder in the direction Ava was staring. “Don’ worry none ‘bout Zan’s bitch. Came in on’a down low.” He paused, his expression turning salacious as he let out a low whistle. “Saw her walk out though. Zan always did know howta scope a prime piece a ass.” He shook his head, refocusing on Ava. “Miss me?” he asked again, his expression turning hard as he pushed himself away from the doorframe.
Ava forced herself to hold her ground against his speculative stare. “I…I thought you was waitin’ a while ‘fore ya came.” She challenged softly.
“An’ I thought ya needed me.” Rath countered with a sarcastic pout. “Don’tell me sweet cheeks out’ere’s what’s got a bug up your ass.” He added, shoving past her. His eyes swept the room before returning to the girl now hovering uncertainly in the doorway. “I’s here for ya, little girl.” He grinned as Ava stiffened at his purposeful use of Zan’s usual turn of phrase. And then he sobered. “Plans changed. New orda’s an’ all ‘at shit.” Rath muttered. “You got ‘em yet?”
“No. Not, not yet.” Ava admitted quietly. She decided to allow herself another step back, considering the angry harshness of Rath’s features, and his half step in her direction. Raising her hands in supplication she explained. “She don’ like talkin’ ‘bout him wit me. I…I jus’ need more time.”
“Time’s sumthin’ we aint got.” Rath retorted angrily, his eyes narrowing in gleeful speculation. “Maybe she’d be more fort’ comin’ wit me. I’d make ‘er talk.” He said, licking his lips at the thought.
Ava suppressed a shudder and shook her head. “I don’think ‘at’s necessary.”
Rath snorted. “I don’t give a shit what ya think. There’s a new queen bitch on ‘a make.” One that freaked the shit outta him. One that freaked the shit outta Lonnie. He shook his head. Zeijahra had split them almost immediately, a fact which left him more than a little suspicious of her motives. No matter what Nicholas claimed. Hell, even good old Nick seemed freaked by her. Fool kept muttering the word Talora like it meant something. And somewhere in the back of his mind, Rath acknowledged uncomfortably, it did. He gave himself a mental shake. Bitch wasn’t natural, but there was nothing he could do about that right now. He’d wait, and once they were back on Antar…well, then he’d explain the facts of life. He returned his attention to Ava, shaking his head over her failure. Shoulda known she was gonna be useless. “Get your ass in gear.” He growled in disgust. “Or I’ll do it for ya.”
Ava nodded quickly. “I got it cova’d.” She assured him, ignoring his snort of disbelief. “Why’re we takin’ orda’s from someone new?” she inquired timidly.
“So’s we can finally get the fuck off this rock, moron!” Rath muttered angrily. And then he grinned “’Sides, it’s gonna be one helluva rave! Bitch managed ta get the place surrounded. We’s just waitin’ ta move in.”
************************
Nicholas studied Zeijahra’s bent head, his eyes narrowing on her slender neck as he toyed briefly with the idea…
“I wouldn’t.” Zeijahra warned softly.
Nicholas blinked. She hadn’t even bothered to look up from her perusal of the communications console, and the admonition was so quiet that he doubted anyone else in the room was aware of the exchange. But the seriousness behind her tone left him no doubt that she was more than aware of his every move. He glared at her, but didn’t bother to either apologize or deny the implicit accusation.
Zeijahra raised her eyes from the communications readout and turned her regard on the man who’d just threatened her life. “I was under the impression that we were in communications blackout.” She noted mildly.
“We are.” Nicholas replied mulishly.
“Mmmm. And yet…” Zeijahra retuned to her perusal of the board. It appeared that someone in the compound had just sent a coded message. Beyond foolish, were it true. She slanted a glance at Nicholas. “Your people do all understand ‘Communications Blackout’, do they not?”
“Of course.” Nicholas snapped. Too quickly, he realized as Zeia straightened and turned to face him.
“Then they’re aware of the consequences for breaking silence.”
It was a statement, and a pronouncement of sentence all at the same time. Nicholas shook his head. “Zeia…”
She sighed, her patience worn thin with his continued attempts at familiarity. “Turn off the alarm.” Zeijahra requested calmly, shifting her attention from Nicholas to the flashing red light and the ringing claxon which still echoed loudly through the compound. “Now.” She clarified, slightly aggrieved when the alarm that had brought her to the Command Center in the first place continued without interruption. “And do something about her.” She added coolly, one brow raised in mild annoyance at their Seer who was rocking gently back and forth on her heels, muttering a doggerel mixture of Antaraian and English. Zeia’s eyes narrowed as the Seer turned to look at her.
“You seek my silence though you are already deaf to my warning.”
Zeijahra blinked, vaguely unsettled by the strength of the Seer’s voice, a sharp contrast to her haggard features. “No one here is in need of having their fortune read.” She muttered dismissively
“But you are. You all are.” The Seer intoned, turning her blind eyes on the Skins. She shook her head sadly. “You’ve welcomed the wolf and sh…
“Cease!” Zeia ordered sharply, her gaze moving quickly past the Skin guards to her own, and with an inconspicuous nod of her head she ordered Makre forward.
“I see her, so clearly I can touch her. The one who sees your downfall though she is yet blind.” The Seer paused, the cataracts that marred her once beautiful eyes were barely an obstacle as she pinned Khivar’s representative with her gaze. “Still to be born, the one who shall thwart your mission and achieve your purpose. She will avenge…”
“Confine her to her chamber.” Zeijahra ground out, cutting off whatever the seer was about to say. “And turn off that alarm!” She shook her head, reining in her temper with more difficulty than she’d had in years. She’d always known that hag didn’t belong on this mission, tradition be damned. She turned back to the communications console as the Seer was led away, pinning the Skin who’d finally gathered his courage enough to retake his position with the last of her ire. “Who sent that message?”
“I…don’t know.”
“What did it say?”
“I don’t…uh, know.”
“What do you know?” Zeijahra asked, allowing her disgust to show in her tone
The tech shrugged helplessly. “I don’t…no one should have been able to get by security, no one has that kind of clearance! I mean…” he broke off abruptly, glancing uneasily at Nicholas.
“So you’re saying that only someone with the clearance to bypass all security could do this?”
“No! No, I didn’t say…I, I’m attempting triangulate the signal now.” The tech rushed out, well aware that his blunder had done nothing to help his leader. “I should be able to tell you where it went, but more than that…they masked it well.” He finished with a lame shrug, glancing over at Nicholas and wondering why he hadn’t spoken yet.
“Might I suggest triangulating faster?” Zeijahra inquired sarcastically.
Nicholas swallowed hard. He could feel Ida prodding him forward, demanding that he reassert himself as leader. It was what everyone else in the room was waiting for as well. Including, he realized uncomfortably, Zeijahra. He’d have to tread carefully. “There’s no reason to get upset…” he began, his tone soothing.
“No reason?” Zeijahra questioned silkily. “That’s an interesting interpretation of this situation.” She paused, her eyes raking the assembled group of Skins, all ranking members of Nicholas’ original team. All of them suspect, and all of them expendable. “Treason is not something I accept. Ever.”
“Treason?!” Nicholas bit out. “That’s ridiculous. No one…”
“Really? Than there is another explanation for the comedy of errors that has given you more than 50 years on this planet without any of you having come close to the target?”
“LA!” The tech interrupted excitedly. “The signal was picked up in LA.”
“That’s as close a triangulation as you could manage?”
Nicholas swallowed hard. Zeijahra’s soft, almost gentle tone of voice only set his nerves even further on edge. Eager to turn her attention he said. “I’ll send someone to LA as soon…”
“I’ll handle LA.” Zeijahra interrupted smoothly. “And I’m not so easily distracted.” She turned from Nicholas to confront the room at large. “I was, at first, inclined to believe that your failure was simply a matter of incompetence. However, it would now appear that there is a traitor amongst you, as well. That will mitigate my report. But not by much. ” Zeia glanced around the room, ushering more of her guards forward as she studied the scattered group of Skins with distant curiosity. “I’m waiting for your explanation, Nicholas.”
Nicholas raised his head defiantly. It was now or never. “I will make my accounting to Khivar, and no one else.” He stated. He saw most of the Skins nod their agreement while others looked uncomfortably aware of the precariousness of his position. Ida moved to stand at his right, taking up a position of support and power exactly as she had a hundred times before, in a thousand different husks. Her presence had always been a comfort. Until he saw Zeijahra’s eyes fall with astute understanding upon his sometimes consort, and always second in command. His entire being tensed when she turned to stare directly at him, her iridescent gaze unblinking. And victorious, he realized, feeling cold fingers gripping his spine. Victorious, but strangely devoid of any personal triumph.
“You forget your place. You’ve all forgotten your place.” Zeijahra said forcefully, her voice carrying easily through the room. “Let me remind you, I was sent because Khivar is no longer satisfied with your service. I have the authority to do whatever I must to ensure the success of this mission. That includes removing any encumbrance that I see fit.” She finished.
Nicholas gritted his teeth and forced himself not to move, not to show any weakness…though, if the look on Zeijahra’s face was any indication, they were long past that. And then he realized why. While he and the others had been focused on her, the last of Zeijahra’s team had entered the room. And they outnumbered his own men.
“I consider traitors an encumbrance.” Zeijahra murmured, letting her gaze linger on Ida. She shook her head as Nicholas moved his small husk between them, trying to shield his second inconspicuously. And failing. “And I do not tolerate their presence.” Zeijahra turned to Makre who, having returned from escorting the Seer to her room, was now taking up a postion at her side. “It is done?” she asked.
Makre nodded. “It is. The entire compound is locked down. The others are confined.” He glanced at the assembled Skins. “Have you determined who…” he asked his leader.
“Not yet.” Zeijahra replied. She inclined her head as Makre stood taller, his body straightening with sudden purpose. “You know what to do.”
“Of course.”
Nicholas stared. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t…but all around him, his people were tensing in fearful anticipation of what was to come. “Zeijahra!”
“Start with her.” Zeijahra ordered coolly, nodding in Ida’s direction. “And don’t stop until you’ve found the traitor.” She was unsurprised by the salute Makre offered before he stepped forward to begin the interrogations. She turned back to Nicholas, drawn by his sudden terror. Even had it not been clear on his face, it was almost thick enough to form ripples in the air. She held his gaze as she stepped forward slowly, practically towering over his small form. “Have I made my position perfectly clear?”
“Zeia…please…” Nicholas shook his head. He knew there was nothing he could say. If he disputed her order, she’d kill him. If he didn’t, he’d just betrayed every one of his people and his life was just as forfeit. His only chance was Zeijahra Shi’Ligh’s mercy. He almost laughed. Her connection to the Talora aside, mercy was something her family had never been known for.
“I didn’t know you were still here.” Liz replied.
Ouch. Maria shook off the obvious dismissal and nodded pointedly at the tray sitting on Liz’s desk. Her best friend may not want to talk, but she definitely needed to. “Your mom wanted me to make sure you ate before I left.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Take a bite anyway.” Maria advised. “Your mom’s a little worried. Something about you crying in your sleep…”
Liz sighed heavily. “Right.” As put upon as she felt with Maria’s continued presence, she supposed she ought to be grateful that her mother wasn’t in here trying to pry into her life.
Maria waited until Liz had picked up a piece of toast and started chewing dutifully, and pointedly, before she started pushing again. “So, you were telling me about why you and Max decided not to get back together.
Actually, I wasn’t, Liz thought in frustration. “Maria, look. We decided to be friends, is that a crime?
Maria stared. “You what?” She shook her head in disbelief. “Lemme get this straight. After everything, you two just WHAM! decided to be friends? You and…we are talking Max Evans here, right?”
“Will you stop saying his name like that?” Liz ground out in frustration.
“Liz, come on. You have to admit, it’s a bit shocking that Max ‘I’ve-been-not-so-secretly-pining-after-Liz-Parker-for-years’ Evans just decided, completely out of the blue, I might add, that he wanted to just be…” Maria fell silent, her eyes narrowing indignantly before she continued. “Tell me, after all this, he decided he wanted to check out his alien side. Or someone else’s alien side.” She muttered under her breath. “What did he do just wake up and decide he wasn’t in love with you? Oh my God, Liz. Is that why…” She trailed off uncertainly as Liz’s devastated expression finally caught her attention. “I’m gonna kill him.” She whispered vehemently.
“No. Maria that’s not what happened.” Liz denied swiftly, feeling her stomach churn. “He…he loves me so much. As much as I love him.” She said softly, hating that the knowledge was nowhere near as comforting as it should have been. “But…he needs to be with Tess. He needs to keep her here. Don’t you remember the whole point of him coming back in time? Don’t you…”
“Liz, listen to me.” Maria broke in, her heart aching for the unshed tears glistening in Liz’s eyes. “I know you’re trying to do the right thing…”
“We’re both trying to do the right thing.” Liz interjected softly.
Maria nodded. “Right. So…Max is king, why doesn’t he just order her…”
“Come on, Maria. Can you imagine Tess taking that well? It’d only drive her away faster. And we can’t let that happen.” No matter how much I might want to, Liz admitted silently. “ We’re talking about the world, here, we can’t just forget about it.” She whispered miserably.
Maria shook her head helplessly. “Yeah, but…are you sure that there’s no way to…Hey! Maybe you should go back and see Madame Vivian. Maybe she’ll see something…”
“I am done with that woman!” Liz burst out. “And the future. I’m done with everything.”
“Well, Liz not every…” Maria broke off in the face of Liz’s frustrated grief. “So this is the only way to make everything…” she asked, tears of commiseration welling in her own eyes.
“Yeah.” Liz said, nodding, even as she closed her eyes against Maria’s sympathetic expression, and the tears, which fell nonetheless. “Everything’s gonna be ok, now.” She whispered brokenly.
“Liz…” Maria shook her head, knowing somehow that there was nothing she could say that would make this right, or even better. She stood up, intending to comfort her best friend, but stopped when Liz flinched away. She pointed at the door awkwardly, realizing suddenly that Liz wanted neither her comfort nor her presence at the moment. “I’m gonna just…yeah.” She paused with her hand on the knob. “Look we’re all getting together later, you know do the whole after prom thing…you know what, forget I said anything. You wouldn’t want to see Tess and…” Maria fell silent, closing her eyes briefly and wishing she could find the right the thing to say. She shrugged apologetically as Liz dropped her toast and shoved the plate away. “I’ll see you tomorrow at school.” Maria finished quietly, slipping out the door without waiting for a response.
Liz swallowed hard as her stomach heaved. She glanced at her bed and then hastily crawled back in, fully dressed. She was grateful that Maria was gone. She wished she could get rid of the gut twisting nausea, which only served to prove that her life wasn’t a dream, as easily. She was in hell, and it wasn’t a dream.
*****************************
Max shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other as he endured his parent’s silent scrutiny. Deciding quickly that the best defense was a good offense, and knowing suddenly that he needed a good defense, he turned to his mother. “Mom, really, I’m sorry for worrying you but I wasn’t out drinking or, or doing…anything else. Liz and I spent the night talking.” He explained earnestly. But he could already tell by the queasiness in the pit of his stomach that his parents weren’t buying it. So much for honesty being the best policy. Not that he’d ever really adhered to that one before, his conscience took the time to point out. The sudden guilt roiled angrily through his stomach.
Phillip shook his head, studying Max’s drawn, pale features and puffy eyes. He wasn’t so old that he’d forgotten what a hangover looked like. “Son.” He began gently. “Do your mother and I look stupid.”
Max blinked, his father’s tone putting him immediately on guard. “No?”
Diane sighed. “Was that a question?” she asked dryly.
“No! No, I just, I don’t know what you want me to say…”
“We want the truth, Max not some well crafted lie to keep us out of your life!” Phillip bit out. He took a deep breath when Diane took hold of his arm, correctly interpreting both her fear and the stiffening of his son’s spine. “Max, listen to me. I just…” he shook his head helplessly, already recognizing the guarded look in his son’s eyes. “Your mother and I just want you to trust us. So we can trust you.” He finished pointedly.
“Dad…you can trust me, I swear. Mom, honest, we weren’t drinking and we weren’t…we didn’t do anything wrong.” Max averred desperately.
Diane shook her head sadly. “Sweetheart, look in the mirror.” She pressed a hand against Max’s forehead, feeling the slight clamminess of his skin. “I know you think we’re ancient but, honey I’ve had hangovers…” She broke off when Max stepped away.
“I don’t have a hangover.” Max ground out. “I’m just tired.”
“How can you be tired? You’ve been asleep since you got home.”
Max opened his mouth to argue, recognizing that his father was moving with dangerous speed into lawyer mode, but his mother cut him off.
“At 6:30 in the morning, by the way.”
“You didn’t give me a curfew.” Max said defensively.
“We kind of thought you were smart enough to realize that you were expected to come home.”
“I did!”
“This morning!” Diane bit out. She took a deep, calming breath, almost feeling Max pushing them farther than the arms length he’d been holding them at for the last year. “Honey, listen. We were your age once. We understand hormones and, and…” she closed her eyes briefly and then forced herself to continue. “…wanting to be with someone…sexually.”
“MOM!” Max burst out taking a hasty step backward and wondering how it was possible that his day had actually gotten worse. “Nothing happened.”
Diane continued as if he hadn’t said anything. “But you still need to behave responsibly.”
“I did.”
“So you were having sex.” Phillip interjected. “Responsibly.” He added dryly.
“NO!” Max turned and stared at his father, aghast. “Dad, nothing happened! We had some things that we needed to say to each other and we talked. That’s it. Period. There was no sex, no drinking, no…nothing happened.” He repeated lamely. At least not what you think, he amended silently, for the sake of honesty. He swallowed hard, rubbing his stomach absently and wondering when the hell this nausea was going to go away. He could tell by the skeptical looks on his parent’s faces that it wasn’t helping his argument any.
Diane sighed. She could see that Max was paler even than he had been a few minutes ago, and he appeared to have broken out in a cold sweat. It was the first time she could ever remember her son really looking ill. And from the expression on his face he was as surprised by that fact as she was. “Max we’re not going to argue with you. You and Liz only just got back together.” She raised a hand, silencing her son’s protest. “And whether you believe this now or not, you need to take things slowly. And your father and I are going to make sure that you do.”
Max shrugged, desperate for the conversation to be over so that he could go to his room and deal whatever the hell was wrong with him.
“Max, are you even listening to your mother?” Phillip demanded.
Max nodded, which was a mistake. “Just…hang…” and then he bolted for the bathroom. Over the sound of his retching he heard his father snort out a disbelieving ‘Not hung over!’ and then he blocked that out as well. What felt like a lifetime later he sighed, feeling oddly better now that his stomach was emptied of it contents. Gross and disgusting, but better. He used his powers to get rid of the aftertaste and rested his head against the cool porcelain of the toilet. He’d never known the damn thing was so comfortable.
Straightening, Max frowned, thoroughly confused over his first bout of real sickness. Almost instinctively, he thought to call Liz. Even if she didn’t have an answer she’d probably be able to come up with some plan to investigate this latest development, something suitably scientific, of course. And then he’d have to see her, maybe touch… Max closed his eyes, knowing too well that the call would only be an excuse. He could already sense that there was nothing actually wrong with him. Nothing that was going to change, anyway. He sighed heavily. Great, now he was making himself sick, so Liz could play…doctor. Max screwed his eyes shut, his head dropping heavily against the back of the toilet. He was in hell, he realized distantly. But if he stayed right here maybe everyone would just leave him alone.
****************************
Ava watched silently as the minutes ticked by on the cable box. She’d heard the roar of the El Dorado’s engine as it pulled from the motel parking lot, but had waited twenty minutes just to be on the safe side. Taking a deep breath, she got up and made her way to the door. “Now or neva.” She muttered to herself, opening the door. And ‘never’ really wasn’t an option.
“Miss me?”
Jesus! Ava jumped back into the room, retreating another step in defense against the bulky form silhouetted in the doorway. “Rath! “ She burst out in surprise, glancing over his shoulder at the parking lot, though for help or in the hopes that Serena was really gone, she wasn’t certain.
“The one ‘n only.” Rath replied, looking over his shoulder in the direction Ava was staring. “Don’ worry none ‘bout Zan’s bitch. Came in on’a down low.” He paused, his expression turning salacious as he let out a low whistle. “Saw her walk out though. Zan always did know howta scope a prime piece a ass.” He shook his head, refocusing on Ava. “Miss me?” he asked again, his expression turning hard as he pushed himself away from the doorframe.
Ava forced herself to hold her ground against his speculative stare. “I…I thought you was waitin’ a while ‘fore ya came.” She challenged softly.
“An’ I thought ya needed me.” Rath countered with a sarcastic pout. “Don’tell me sweet cheeks out’ere’s what’s got a bug up your ass.” He added, shoving past her. His eyes swept the room before returning to the girl now hovering uncertainly in the doorway. “I’s here for ya, little girl.” He grinned as Ava stiffened at his purposeful use of Zan’s usual turn of phrase. And then he sobered. “Plans changed. New orda’s an’ all ‘at shit.” Rath muttered. “You got ‘em yet?”
“No. Not, not yet.” Ava admitted quietly. She decided to allow herself another step back, considering the angry harshness of Rath’s features, and his half step in her direction. Raising her hands in supplication she explained. “She don’ like talkin’ ‘bout him wit me. I…I jus’ need more time.”
“Time’s sumthin’ we aint got.” Rath retorted angrily, his eyes narrowing in gleeful speculation. “Maybe she’d be more fort’ comin’ wit me. I’d make ‘er talk.” He said, licking his lips at the thought.
Ava suppressed a shudder and shook her head. “I don’think ‘at’s necessary.”
Rath snorted. “I don’t give a shit what ya think. There’s a new queen bitch on ‘a make.” One that freaked the shit outta him. One that freaked the shit outta Lonnie. He shook his head. Zeijahra had split them almost immediately, a fact which left him more than a little suspicious of her motives. No matter what Nicholas claimed. Hell, even good old Nick seemed freaked by her. Fool kept muttering the word Talora like it meant something. And somewhere in the back of his mind, Rath acknowledged uncomfortably, it did. He gave himself a mental shake. Bitch wasn’t natural, but there was nothing he could do about that right now. He’d wait, and once they were back on Antar…well, then he’d explain the facts of life. He returned his attention to Ava, shaking his head over her failure. Shoulda known she was gonna be useless. “Get your ass in gear.” He growled in disgust. “Or I’ll do it for ya.”
Ava nodded quickly. “I got it cova’d.” She assured him, ignoring his snort of disbelief. “Why’re we takin’ orda’s from someone new?” she inquired timidly.
“So’s we can finally get the fuck off this rock, moron!” Rath muttered angrily. And then he grinned “’Sides, it’s gonna be one helluva rave! Bitch managed ta get the place surrounded. We’s just waitin’ ta move in.”
************************
Nicholas studied Zeijahra’s bent head, his eyes narrowing on her slender neck as he toyed briefly with the idea…
“I wouldn’t.” Zeijahra warned softly.
Nicholas blinked. She hadn’t even bothered to look up from her perusal of the communications console, and the admonition was so quiet that he doubted anyone else in the room was aware of the exchange. But the seriousness behind her tone left him no doubt that she was more than aware of his every move. He glared at her, but didn’t bother to either apologize or deny the implicit accusation.
Zeijahra raised her eyes from the communications readout and turned her regard on the man who’d just threatened her life. “I was under the impression that we were in communications blackout.” She noted mildly.
“We are.” Nicholas replied mulishly.
“Mmmm. And yet…” Zeijahra retuned to her perusal of the board. It appeared that someone in the compound had just sent a coded message. Beyond foolish, were it true. She slanted a glance at Nicholas. “Your people do all understand ‘Communications Blackout’, do they not?”
“Of course.” Nicholas snapped. Too quickly, he realized as Zeia straightened and turned to face him.
“Then they’re aware of the consequences for breaking silence.”
It was a statement, and a pronouncement of sentence all at the same time. Nicholas shook his head. “Zeia…”
She sighed, her patience worn thin with his continued attempts at familiarity. “Turn off the alarm.” Zeijahra requested calmly, shifting her attention from Nicholas to the flashing red light and the ringing claxon which still echoed loudly through the compound. “Now.” She clarified, slightly aggrieved when the alarm that had brought her to the Command Center in the first place continued without interruption. “And do something about her.” She added coolly, one brow raised in mild annoyance at their Seer who was rocking gently back and forth on her heels, muttering a doggerel mixture of Antaraian and English. Zeia’s eyes narrowed as the Seer turned to look at her.
“You seek my silence though you are already deaf to my warning.”
Zeijahra blinked, vaguely unsettled by the strength of the Seer’s voice, a sharp contrast to her haggard features. “No one here is in need of having their fortune read.” She muttered dismissively
“But you are. You all are.” The Seer intoned, turning her blind eyes on the Skins. She shook her head sadly. “You’ve welcomed the wolf and sh…
“Cease!” Zeia ordered sharply, her gaze moving quickly past the Skin guards to her own, and with an inconspicuous nod of her head she ordered Makre forward.
“I see her, so clearly I can touch her. The one who sees your downfall though she is yet blind.” The Seer paused, the cataracts that marred her once beautiful eyes were barely an obstacle as she pinned Khivar’s representative with her gaze. “Still to be born, the one who shall thwart your mission and achieve your purpose. She will avenge…”
“Confine her to her chamber.” Zeijahra ground out, cutting off whatever the seer was about to say. “And turn off that alarm!” She shook her head, reining in her temper with more difficulty than she’d had in years. She’d always known that hag didn’t belong on this mission, tradition be damned. She turned back to the communications console as the Seer was led away, pinning the Skin who’d finally gathered his courage enough to retake his position with the last of her ire. “Who sent that message?”
“I…don’t know.”
“What did it say?”
“I don’t…uh, know.”
“What do you know?” Zeijahra asked, allowing her disgust to show in her tone
The tech shrugged helplessly. “I don’t…no one should have been able to get by security, no one has that kind of clearance! I mean…” he broke off abruptly, glancing uneasily at Nicholas.
“So you’re saying that only someone with the clearance to bypass all security could do this?”
“No! No, I didn’t say…I, I’m attempting triangulate the signal now.” The tech rushed out, well aware that his blunder had done nothing to help his leader. “I should be able to tell you where it went, but more than that…they masked it well.” He finished with a lame shrug, glancing over at Nicholas and wondering why he hadn’t spoken yet.
“Might I suggest triangulating faster?” Zeijahra inquired sarcastically.
Nicholas swallowed hard. He could feel Ida prodding him forward, demanding that he reassert himself as leader. It was what everyone else in the room was waiting for as well. Including, he realized uncomfortably, Zeijahra. He’d have to tread carefully. “There’s no reason to get upset…” he began, his tone soothing.
“No reason?” Zeijahra questioned silkily. “That’s an interesting interpretation of this situation.” She paused, her eyes raking the assembled group of Skins, all ranking members of Nicholas’ original team. All of them suspect, and all of them expendable. “Treason is not something I accept. Ever.”
“Treason?!” Nicholas bit out. “That’s ridiculous. No one…”
“Really? Than there is another explanation for the comedy of errors that has given you more than 50 years on this planet without any of you having come close to the target?”
“LA!” The tech interrupted excitedly. “The signal was picked up in LA.”
“That’s as close a triangulation as you could manage?”
Nicholas swallowed hard. Zeijahra’s soft, almost gentle tone of voice only set his nerves even further on edge. Eager to turn her attention he said. “I’ll send someone to LA as soon…”
“I’ll handle LA.” Zeijahra interrupted smoothly. “And I’m not so easily distracted.” She turned from Nicholas to confront the room at large. “I was, at first, inclined to believe that your failure was simply a matter of incompetence. However, it would now appear that there is a traitor amongst you, as well. That will mitigate my report. But not by much. ” Zeia glanced around the room, ushering more of her guards forward as she studied the scattered group of Skins with distant curiosity. “I’m waiting for your explanation, Nicholas.”
Nicholas raised his head defiantly. It was now or never. “I will make my accounting to Khivar, and no one else.” He stated. He saw most of the Skins nod their agreement while others looked uncomfortably aware of the precariousness of his position. Ida moved to stand at his right, taking up a position of support and power exactly as she had a hundred times before, in a thousand different husks. Her presence had always been a comfort. Until he saw Zeijahra’s eyes fall with astute understanding upon his sometimes consort, and always second in command. His entire being tensed when she turned to stare directly at him, her iridescent gaze unblinking. And victorious, he realized, feeling cold fingers gripping his spine. Victorious, but strangely devoid of any personal triumph.
“You forget your place. You’ve all forgotten your place.” Zeijahra said forcefully, her voice carrying easily through the room. “Let me remind you, I was sent because Khivar is no longer satisfied with your service. I have the authority to do whatever I must to ensure the success of this mission. That includes removing any encumbrance that I see fit.” She finished.
Nicholas gritted his teeth and forced himself not to move, not to show any weakness…though, if the look on Zeijahra’s face was any indication, they were long past that. And then he realized why. While he and the others had been focused on her, the last of Zeijahra’s team had entered the room. And they outnumbered his own men.
“I consider traitors an encumbrance.” Zeijahra murmured, letting her gaze linger on Ida. She shook her head as Nicholas moved his small husk between them, trying to shield his second inconspicuously. And failing. “And I do not tolerate their presence.” Zeijahra turned to Makre who, having returned from escorting the Seer to her room, was now taking up a postion at her side. “It is done?” she asked.
Makre nodded. “It is. The entire compound is locked down. The others are confined.” He glanced at the assembled Skins. “Have you determined who…” he asked his leader.
“Not yet.” Zeijahra replied. She inclined her head as Makre stood taller, his body straightening with sudden purpose. “You know what to do.”
“Of course.”
Nicholas stared. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t…but all around him, his people were tensing in fearful anticipation of what was to come. “Zeijahra!”
“Start with her.” Zeijahra ordered coolly, nodding in Ida’s direction. “And don’t stop until you’ve found the traitor.” She was unsurprised by the salute Makre offered before he stepped forward to begin the interrogations. She turned back to Nicholas, drawn by his sudden terror. Even had it not been clear on his face, it was almost thick enough to form ripples in the air. She held his gaze as she stepped forward slowly, practically towering over his small form. “Have I made my position perfectly clear?”
“Zeia…please…” Nicholas shook his head. He knew there was nothing he could say. If he disputed her order, she’d kill him. If he didn’t, he’d just betrayed every one of his people and his life was just as forfeit. His only chance was Zeijahra Shi’Ligh’s mercy. He almost laughed. Her connection to the Talora aside, mercy was something her family had never been known for.
The fact that we are fools is duly noted...
But must that be our epitaph?
-SRC
I'd be an idiot if I weren't less than pleased about being doomed.
- Warren Zevon
But must that be our epitaph?
-SRC
I'd be an idiot if I weren't less than pleased about being doomed.
- Warren Zevon
**************Part 12**************
“Yeah, so I heard that he just took off, like, screaming her name or something,” Shelly Abrams sighed dramatically. “It’s always the quiet ones.”
Jessica Winters shook her head skeptically. “Max Evans? I just don’t see it. He’s not the Heathcliff type,” she replied, her mind still on the studying she’d done for the English Lit final, and the worthless movie she’d rented to help Wuthering Heights along. Not even Ralph Fiennes could save that book.
Shelly pinned her friend with a condescending glare. “Haven’t you been paying attention? He’s been brooding over Liz Parker all year,” she practically squealed. In point of fact, she hadn’t been paying attention to Max Evans’ brooding. No one had, but after the way he’d taken off in the middle of the prom, presumably to go after his date, who’d left in tears, there wasn’t a gossip in school worth their subscription to Soap Opera Digest who’d admit that. “I think it’s romantic,” she continued.
“Why am I not surprised?” Jess asked with a roll of her eyes. “I think it’s kind of sad actually. Wasn’t he dating that blonde girl? The one that transferred last year,” she clarified dryly at Sally’s blank look. She sighed in exasperation. Like there were that many people who had transferred to West Roswell High…ever.
“You don’t have a romantic bone in your body, do you?” Sally asked dismissively. “Just goes to show, you can’t stand in the way of true love,” she added blithely unaware of the fuming blonde they’d just passed.
“Or what? You’ll get steam rolled?” Jess shrugged. “I still feel sorry for her. What a way to find out your boyfriend’s in love with someone else.”
Tess’s blue eyes narrowed in disgust as the two girls rounded the corner, completely oblivious to her presence. You stupid, insignificant…you feel sorry, for me, she thought angrily. She looked to her left, glaring at reason for her humiliation. Max was standing in front of his locker, completely oblivious to the loudly whispered speculation. So what else was new? Oblivious may have been his middle name, but ever since she’d walked into school today all she’d heard about was the way he’d run after Liz Parker. She glared after Shelly and Jess. Sadly, those two giggling idiots weren’t the only ones who’d looked like they felt sorry for her. Tess gritted her teeth, watching with a certain amount of satisfaction as Max fought to pull a book from behind the backpack he’d just shoved into his locker. She snorted. Idiot. And then she bit her lip. Idiot she had to seduce before the terms of the treaty ran out. And she became obsolete. And Zeijahra… Right. Focus, Tess. “Hi Max,” she called, raising her head and offering a small smile before turning back to her own locker.
Max froze. Tess. Not like you could avoid her forever, you’re in three classes with her, his common sense pointed out. Not until the end of the day, his desperation retorted. She’s standing right there, reality reminded him dryly. “Um, hi, Tess,” he murmured, his stomach knotting tightly. He struggled to take a deep breath and then froze, his eyes drawn unerringly down the hall, to a spot just over Tess’s right shoulder. Liz. Max caught her dark gaze, his discomfort falling away as, for a brief moment, the rest of the world faded into unimportant.
Tess took a deep breath, forcing herself not to turn around and follow Max’s stare. She already knew what she’d find. Don’t push, keep that stupid smile pasted on your face and shrug it off. Retreat for now and try again later, she counseled herself. “Well, I’ll…talk to you later,” she said perkily, glowering inside. She hated perky. Always had. But he liked perky, Tess reminded herself. And helpless, she thought with disgust, offering another quick smile for good measure, and then closing her locker. She started to walk past him, her eyes on her book so he wouldn’t see the anger she could feel burning there. “Bye, Max.”
Max nodded absently, his body already leaning toward the first step that would take him to her. Only he couldn’t. He blinked, completely thrown as the deep breath he saw Liz force into her lungs reverberated through his chest. He couldn’t feel her, exactly, not like he wanted to, but he could read the insistence in the depths of her eyes. The sorrow. She nodded once, offering a smile that was both brief and forgiving. Max sighed heavily, recognizing the reminder for what it was. Everything had changed, but nothing was different. He had a responsibility now. One he’d always had, he supposed, feeling a brief surge of resentment. Still focusing desperately on Liz, unable to look at Tess just yet without… blaming her. For something that would never be her fault, he forced himself to acknowledge.
Swallowing hard, Max offered Liz the briefest nod, grateful for the support radiating guilelessly from her eyes. Pasting a smile on his face and taking a deep breath, Max turned back to Tess, surprised to find her walking away. “Tess, wait,” he opened his mouth and then closed it again when she did exactly as he asked her to. How the hell was he supposed to start this conversation, when he didn’t really even want to have it? Tess certainly wasn’t helping, just standing there, glancing at him in between serious bouts of studying the algebra book in her hand. He sighed. “Yeah, so… I thought maybe we should talk.” Max gave a mental roll of his eyes, wincing at Tess’ expression. Nothing like blunt, he decided.
Tess closed her eyes briefly. She was screwed, she could hear it in his determined tone of voice. “You’re with Liz now, I know. Everyone’s talking about it,” she muttered, her heart beating faster as she ignored Max’s resigned expression. She didn’t have time for this, for his guilt over having to let her down. She eyed him coolly, wondering how he’d feel if she told him just what his obstinence was going to cost her. Swallowing hard, Tess wondered briefly if there was anywhere she could go that Zeijahra wouldn’t find her. Nicholas she could have escaped, but this new threat.
Max stared, startled by the clearly defeated look on her face. It was rare to see her so vulnerable, particularly in public. Only when they were alone was she so open… only when she whispered to him of the things she remembered, and wanted him to feel. “No,” he cleared his throat, removing the hoarseness from his voice and refocusing on Tess. “We’re not. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I’m… not with Liz,” he said, reaching out to touch her arm briefly. He wanted to apologize to her, though he wasn’t sure why, or even how.
Tess stared, her mind racing as she met his eyes. “You’re… not?” She shook her head along with Max, bristling internally at his understanding expression. Shit, now he felt sorry for her. “But when you went after her, I thought…” she began, careful to keep her voice little girl high, and her eyes wide and innocent. He liked wide and innocent, she thought bitterly. Needy. Nasedo hadn’t been wrong about that, at least. Max’s protective streak was a mile wide. Use it, she reminded herself.
“After I caught up with her we…” Max paused, suddenly at a loss, caught between what he needed to do and what he wanted to do. And hadn’t he been stuck here forever? Without conscious decision, he sought Liz’s gaze, the heat of her soul, and found a clarity he’d already known he couldn’t avoid in the rich depths of her eyes. His entire life teetered on the brink of… something. He could feel it. He ached with it, the definition and clarity he suddenly found as he stared one last time into Liz Parker’s soul and finally saw, really saw. He understood this moment as if it defined them, and maybe it did, wrapped in their past as it was. And shadowed by the future, an eternal moment of promise. And heartbreak. He couldn’t tear his eyes from hers, even when the moment lasted too long, leaving both of them raw and too aware. He struggled for an instant after she finally looked away, reaching, though she was gone before he’d gotten the chance to... he didn’t even know. Except he did. Defeated, Max fought the sudden suffocating tightness in his chest, hating what he was about to do and knowing it needed to be done.
“We talked,” Max continued, meeting Tess’s gaze squarely. “We decided that it was better to just be… friends,” he finished firmly.
“You decided to just be friends,” Tess repeated blankly, her annoyance over Max’s preoccupation giving way to wariness. Maybe her life wasn’t forfeit after all. “Really. You did?” she asked skeptically.
Max nodded. Tess’s hesitation was understandable. Hell, he wouldn’t be surprised if she wanted nothing to do with him after the way…the way he’d been running from her. He sighed, feeling worse about behavior he hadn’t even considered before. “Yeah. We did. I just, I thought you should know, you know? I mean, I don’t expect you to… I don’t expect anything from you. I’d completely understand if you were angry or, or something after the way I just… you know, at the prom and…”
“I’m not angry with you,” Tess said softly, surprised and strangely touched by his nervousness. He was worried that she would be angry, he was actually worried about her feelings.
“Oh.”
“Oh?” Tess echoed, confused when he fell silent and simply stared at her.
“Right. I mean, good. I’m glad.” Max shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled with an embarrassed smile, taking a deep breath and starting over again. “I’m glad you’re not mad about… the way I’ve been acting about… everything.”
Tess shrugged uncomfortably. It was different than she’d thought it would be, suddenly finding herself the focus his attention. “Max, it’s ok,” she said, placing a gentle hand on his arm. She shrugged again, offering a brief smile. “Really, I’m not mad. I’m sort of…”
“Used to it,” Max finished regretfully.
“Yeah,” Tess murmured, drawn closer by the honest emotion in his eyes.
Max took a deep breath, his head snapping up as the warning bell rang, a shrill reminder that they were going to be late. Which shouldn’t come as a shock, he’d been running late all day. “We should…”
“Right,” Tess muttered with a sigh.
Max looked away, the clear frustration on her face surprising him a little. “Look, I…I don’t want to act like you have to…”
“Max, we’re married,” Tess snapped. She sighed internally, quickly recovering and offering an apologetic smile in response to his expression. “I’m sorry, I just…”
Max shook his head, still feeling somewhat taken aback at her vehemence. It had been a few months since she’d said anything like that. Though she’d obviously been thinking it the whole time. And she’d been right the whole time, he reminded himself. “No, I understand, Tess, I do. I know we have this… history and, and I’m remembering that but… I don’t want to push you or… anything. I just want us to get to know each other in this life, too,” he said, nodding his sincerity. Right, Evans. Because that’s not stalling at all. Max silenced his common sense, not really caring to hear its opinion. He glanced over Tess’ shoulder, knowing Liz was already gone but unable to resist the strange impulse to seek her out.
Tess blinked, her ire replaced by a vague astonishment over his admission. “You do?”
Max ignored the sudden loneliness of the hallway and nodded. “I do,” he said firmly. “What about dinner? Tonight?”
Tess stared, feeling like this conversation, this whole thing was moving…quickly. Which was good. Wasn’t it? “Dinner? Sure.” She smiled at him, and then paused, her eyes narrowing. “At the Crash?” Tess asked suspiciously.
Max started to nod and then shook his head emphatically. The Crash was definitely not the place to take Tess on a… date. And Senor Chow’s was out. “I’m in the mood for pizza, what about you?”
Tess nodded, a slow, delighted smile spreading across her lips. Dinner at the Pizza Pan… they wouldn’t even have to see Liz Parker. “Pizza sounds good.”
“So tonight,” Max agreed, wincing as the last bell announced that they were now officially late for class. He rolled his eyes, sharing a grin with Tess as she did the same.
“Tonight,” Tess agreed, turning and breaking into a light jog as she headed to class. She felt decidedly strange with the pensive weight of his eyes against her back. The full force of his attentiveness was… disturbing. Especially considering that when this was all over with… Tess bit her lip, trying to ignore the sharp pang of what could only be guilt. She hadn’t expected this, hadn’t expected him to be so… nice. He wasn’t, really, she reminded herself harshly. He’d leaned on her when he had to, used her. Rule #1, don’t fall for your own warp. And don’t forget to take care of #1. Tess wondered idly how long it had taken Nasedo to dream that one up. Didn’t matter, anyway, Tess sighed. She didn’t have a choice. And if Max had a choice, it wouldn’t be her he’d be pursuing. Whatever else he’d said, she’d bet real money that his being ‘friends’ with Liz Parker wasn’t something that he’d decided at all. Righteous indignation firmly back in place, Tess raised her head high. All this meant was that she was back on track. And at least now, she wouldn’t have to work so hard.
******************************
“So, did he eva, give you somethin’ ta…ta keep safe, maybe?” Ava asked, careful to keep her voice only mildly curious.
Serena looked up, studying the blonde’s innocently widened eyes. She raised an eyebrow when Ava began to pace. Again. “Not that I can think of,” she replied, strangely fascinated when her answer caused the other girl to pace even faster. She glanced down at the magazine spread before her on the hotel bed, her lip curling in disgust over Cosmo’s ‘10 Things I Hate About You’. Stupid shit. How do those idiots get jobs? “You eva gonna tell me what happen’d yestaday?” Serena inquired lightly.
“What makes you think…”
Serena raised her eyes. “Done wearin’ a hole in’a carpet, huh?” she asked when Ava came to a halt in front of the bed. “I ain’t stupid. You been jumpin’ at your own shadow since I got back yestaday.” Serena’s eyes narrowed on Ava’s guilty expression. “You talked to him, di’nt ya?”
Ava started to shake her head, but Serena was off the bed and stalking toward her so quickly that her denial got caught in her throat.
“What’d he say?” Serena paused, Ava’s half-assed interrogation about what Zan may have left behind suddenly taking on a whole new meaning. “What’s he looking for?” she growled, catching Ava’s arm and pulling the other girl back into the confrontation when she would have backed away.
“I don’t… he’s lookin’ for somethin’ Zan had. Somethin’ from the crash, ok?” Ava rushed out, pulling her arm from Serena’s grip.
“What makes you think Zan had anythin’ from the crash?”
“We know he did,” Ava bit out in frustration. This wasn’t her fault damn it, so why did she always end up on the receiving end of this shit?
“Well, what was it? What’d it look like?”
Ava shrugged uncomfortably. “Ain’t sure. I mean it’s gotta look alien, right?” She caught Serena’s skeptical look and explained. “Zan neva tol’ us nothin’ ’bou what he was up ta. He took somethin’ from our protector, an’ he hid it. That’s all I know…’cept, whateva it is…we need ta get it back so when Rath shows up here...”
“Ain’t got it,” Serena said dismissively. Something from the crash? “What’s His Holy Havoc want wit this somthin’ anyway?
“I don’t know. An’ it don’t matta. He wants it, an’…an’ he’ll do what he’s gotta ta get it.” Ava drew in a deep breath, her temper falling away at the distant look on Serena’s face. "Serena, just... you have ta think.”
Serena’s brows almost hit her hair line. “You tryin’a tell me howta think?” she asked in disbelief.
Ignoring the anger sparking in the other girls eyes Ava said, “Rath is gonna be here soon an’, an’ we’s gonna need somethin’ ta keep us alive…somethin’ ta bargain wit," she pointed out desperately. "What you think is gonna happen when Rath gets here and we ain’t got what he's lookin' for."
"Don't care what he's lookin' for."
"You should! Jesus, Serena he's gonna..."
"Die," Serena said softly, cold calculation clear in her voice. She held Ava's gaze. "He's gonna die. An' sooner or lata, you may act’ally have ta pick a side."
“Damn it!” Ava cried in frustration. “Don’t you get it? He ain’t gonna be nice about this. Trust me, it’s easier ta just… just give him what he wants an’…” she shook her head, reading Serena’s disregard in the aloof expression on her face. Ava glared at the other girl. She’d never hated her more than she did right now. Serena would survive if she wanted to, Ava was almost sure of it. But her own survival was hardly as certain. “Damn it! This ain’t gonna change a thing. Ain’t like you can eva make up for…” She fell silent at Serena’s sharp bark of laughter.
“Whatta I gotta make up for?” Serena asked coldly. She took a step forward, easily holding the blonde in her sights. “Let’s not mistake your guilt for my motives,” she suggested coolly, picking up the phone and shoving it at the other girl. “An’ you betta start rememb’rin’ that you’re only here cuz you’re useful. Call him an’ tell him I got it,” she ordered.
Ava gripped the phone, her knuckles whitening around the receiver. “But… if I do that…”
Serena shook her head. Useless. The chick was fuckin’ useless. “Just do it. An’ then we all get what we want,” she muttered.
Swallowing hard, Ava nodded. It was easier than arguing. Even though she knew full well she wasn’t gonna get what she wanted. Cuz the minute she called Rath, there was no way out.
********************************
Shit! Liz glanced up at the clock just above the bank of lockers and glared. She was gonna be late. Again. She sighed heavily, giving in to the inevitable. Apparently her reward for finally falling asleep last night was to be running late all day today. At least she hadn’t had any nightmares. Or dreams, either, now that she thought about it. Grabbing her English book, Liz slammed her locker shut and took off for class, hoping to come up with an excuse Mrs. Harold would buy…or accept…or… “Oof! Jeez, I’m…” Liz took a quick step back, grabbing for the arm that reached to steady her and regaining her balance before she could make a complete fool of herself.
“Hi.”
Swallowing hard, Liz let her eyes wander from the hard chest she’d just run into, to the warm, teasing light in his eyes when they met hers. “Hi, Max,” she whispered back, every worry about the awkwardness that was sure to permeate the first meeting after their last night, lost within her strange and sudden relief. She gestured vaguely down the hall. “I was just running…”
“I can see that,” Max interrupted with a grin.
“I meant I was running because I’m about to be late,” Liz clarified, rolling her eyes. She followed his gaze to her waist, wanting nothing more than to take a step closer. Instead, she forced herself to take a half step back. Strangely, that did nothing to ease the fierceness of her heartbeat. The air around them seemed hotter suddenly, alive with expectation even as her hand fell from his arm and his fingers slid from her waist, leaving a dormant electricity in their wake.
Max took a quick breath, still feeling the shadow of her fingers still resting against his bicep. He ignored it, ignored the urge to move forward, though he did allow himself a moment to drink in the soft flush of her cheeks and the warmth in her eyes as she met and held his gaze. Even amidst the restraint, it was an odd victory, this newfound ease. “I’ve been running late all day,” he admitted, ignoring the chaotic din echoing through the hall as a wave of students rushed by them, desperate to make it to class on time.
Liz bit her lip, able to look away briefly before her eyes returned to his. She smiled, feeling shy and empowered all at the same time. Somehow, seeing him look back at her without the hard edge of anger and bitter confusion that had been slowly stealing his warmth made this entire, miserable day worth it. “How are…”
“…you doing?” Max laughed, feeling his sagging spirits lighten with her giggle as they both voiced the same thought. “You first,” he suggested, before nodding down the hall in question.
Liz shrugged easily, falling into step next to him as they headed for class. They were both going to the same place after all, what was the harm? “Yeah, so I’m, I’m good. You?”
“I’m fine, I’m good,” Max echoed.
Liz nodded. “Me too,” she said, only vaguely aware of the rest of the student body rushing past them as they walked. What she was aware of, what she couldn’t help but be aware of was the occasional brush of his arm against hers. And the nagging expectation fluttering through the pit of her stomach.
“I thought you said he was with what’s her name, this morning,” Georgia whispered loudly.
“He was,” Angela replied, sounding put out that she was wrong. “Maybe they have some kind of kinky threeso…”
“Will you two shut up, they’re not deaf!” Pam Troy hissed. She glanced at Liz, opened her mouth and then shrugged, ushering her two friends into class with a stern look.
Liz glanced over at Max, and then looked away, feeling their euphoria slip from her grasp as reality fell back into place. Which, Liz reminded herself bitterly, was bound to happen sooner or later. So why couldn’t it be later?
Max sighed, knowing what she was thinking. He was thinking it too, but the sudden shadow of pain, too familiar after all this time, made his chest ache. “How are you really doing?” he asked gently.
Offering him a somber smile, Liz shrugged. “Let’s not go there,” she suggested quietly, gritting her teeth as the bell rang. “This day just….”
“Sucks?” Max asked. “Mine, too. Started yesterday actually.” He looked over at Liz, shaking his head in quick denial when he caught her expression. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he assured her seriously. “I meant my parents.”
“Your parents?” Liz asked, wrinkling her nose.
“Yeah. They had some… uh, issues with me staying out all night. I think they’ve decided I’m a juvenile delinquent or something.”
Liz snorted. “You? Are they…”
“They’ve pieced everything together and apparently Holmes and Watson decided that all my weird behavior—no comment, please,” he interjected at Liz’s look, “means I’ve been sneaking out to the desert to drink and have sex.” Oh my God, did I just say that? Max could feel his ears beginning to burn, but Liz didn’t even notice. She was too busy laughing.
“I…I, I’m sorry,” Liz finally got out between giggles. “I know it’s not funny.” And it wasn’t. Exactly. But she couldn’t seem to help herself. It was so far from the truth, and the look on his face so dramatically put upon… Liz shook her head. Compared to truth, the very normal parental concern was simply ludicrous. And suddenly even the dire seriousness of the situation seemed hysterical. Especially when Max looked even more put out by her laughter. Though she could tell he was coming around. One corner of his mouth was curling up in the vaguest smile.
“Thank you. Really, thanks for laughing at my humiliation,” Max said flatly, unable to keep a completely straight face.
“Oh my God. I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you…” Liz forced out breathlessly. “I mean, but you… drunk! And out in the desert…” Having sex, her damn imagination pointed out. Liz took a deep breath, her laughter quieting.
“Um, you know…they think you were there, too,” Max reminded her dryly.
“Me?!” Liz squeaked, sobering immediately. “That’s not funny.”
“Now it’s not funny?” Max asked with a grin.
Liz stared at him. “Why do they think I… I mean we haven’t been anywhere near each other until…” she broke off, stricken as she pointed directly at the pink elephant they’d both been ignoring.
Max swallowed hard, his smile faltering. “Yeah, I know.” He took a deep breath. “I guess it’s because of the um, all-nighter. Plus they think I woke up with a hangover,” he muttered lightly, hating the weight he could feel hanging in the air just waiting to crush them both. It left him unable to simply enjoy the moment as he had been doing.
“Sorry,” Liz said softly.
Max shrugged. “S’ok.”
Ignoring the pain now throbbing in the region of her heart, Liz searched for a way past their sudden awkwardness. And then her brows drew together in confusion. “Wait… hangover? Why would they think you had a hangover?”
“I got sick. The greenest they’ve ever seen me,” Max attempted to joke.
“Not funny,” Liz said darkly, pulling him to a halt. “When you say sick, what exactly do you mean?” she asked, her hand already reaching for his forehead. God, if he had a fever…
Max stepped back, catching her hand in midair and gently putting it back to her side. “It’s not what you’re thinking,” he said, unable to resist squeezing her fingers lightly before dropping her hand.
Liz suppressed a light shiver when Max’s thumb grazed her palm as he slid his fingers from hers. She bit her lip uncertainly, wanting to be comforted but finding it difficult to believe it was as simple as that. “Yeah, but Max what if…”
“It wasn’t… Michael sick, I was just…I think it was just everything, you know? But I’m ok. I’d know if it was an actual problem. Really,” Max assured her. He looked away uncomfortably, not wanting to explain how he’d made himself sick. “Could we just drop it?”
Liz nodded, seeing the embarrassment that lit his eyes just before he looked away from her. She closed her eyes in acute understanding, remembering the nausea that had haunted her all day yesterday, and feeling guilty for having laughed at him just a minute ago. Reaching out, she caught his arm. “Max, I’m sorry, I…”
Max shook his head, purposely misunderstanding her apology. “I’m not,” he said softly, turning to look at Liz. “It was worth it. And I’m not broken so just… don’t worry about me, ok?”
Liz shrugged, studying the scuffed toe of his shoe briefly before she raised her eyes to his. “I can’t help it,” she whispered. “It’s what…friends do.”
Max looked away. “Yeah. Friends.” And there was that damn elephant.
“So, you, um… you talked to Tess.”
Max nodded. Phase One accomplished, he thought sarcastically. He glanced at Liz and saw that she was waiting for more than nonverbal confirmation. “Yeah. I told her that we, you and I were just… you know. And then I said we should… get to know each other in this life.” The words tasted bitter in his mouth, sounding like the cheesiest of lines to his ears. But Liz nodded her encouragement.
Liz took a deep breath and forced a bright, supportive smile to her face. “That’s, that’s good, Max. You know, make it about her and not just like she’s…”
“Second best?” Max finished sardonically. He shook his head. “Ok. I can’t have this conversation anymore,” he said uncomfortably. It was one thing to be planning a full frontal assault as if Tess were the enemy and something else entirely to be discussing it with Liz. He wasn’t sure who he was betraying more with that kind of callousness.
Thank God. Liz nodded emphatically. “You’re right, we shouldn’t be talking about this…”
“Especially because the two of you should be in class right now. Mine, specifically,” Mrs. Harold interrupted smoothly. “Or didn’t you realize the bell applied to you too?”
Liz ducked her head, feeling her blush deepen as the rest of class laughed.
Max sighed, following Liz into class and falling heavily into his seat, careful to keep his head down as his ears burned with their shared embarrassment. He really should have stayed in bed. ’Cuz this day sucked.
********************************
“Fresh meat?” Serena asked as she came to stand beside Zan on the landing. More kids seemed to join this house everyday. And she was getting’ sick of breakin’ ‘em in.
Zan nodded absently, hauling Serena back with him when the boy and girl turned from the social worker to look up. At him. Directly at him. And he hadn’t been quick enough in moving out of sight because for a split second he caught the girls eye. They were… “I know them,” he muttered.
Serena blinked, with his hand on her arm, odd strange connection was sparking to life and she could feel Zan’s confusion over that statement. Which did nothing to help her own. Shaking her head, Serena focused on the recognition she felt still burning through him. It was altogether different than his recognition of her had been, and she shivered a little, suddenly worried. “Whatta you mean you know ‘em? From where?” she demanded.
Zan turned to stare at the girl next to him. “There,” he answered, nodding pointedly at the ceiling.
Upstairs? Serena shook her head blankly, her own eyes following Zan’s gaze. She could feel his exasperation and could almost hear his often voiced admonition not to be so oblivious. Well, then what…oh. “Up there?” she questioned. Her brows drew together and she looked at Zan, an odd possessiveness moving through her system. “Is she da one that…”
“Nah, dif’rent eyes…hair…” Zan muttered. He’d never met those two, but he knew suddenly that they were as alien as he was. He moved forward cautiously, looking over the railing again, Serena practically glued to his side. The other two hadn’t moved and now the boy was staring up at him as well. Zan glared, drawing himself to his full height, feeling Serena do the same. He raised his chin, sneering down at the two newcomers. He’d be damned if he retreated before the challenging glares coming from the two kids downstairs.
Serena swallowed hard and shook her head. “No,” she whispered hoarsely. “No,” she repeated more forcefully, grateful if unsurprised that the memory halted midstream, showing her and Zan suspended in time as they stared down at Lonnie and Rath for the first time. “That’s as far as it goes,” she muttered indecisively. She didn’t want to remember this, didn’t want to watch as the inevitable confrontation played itself out. She didn’t need to remember the days that followed. Lonnie’s sneer, Rath’s rabid anger and never-ending challenge. Zan’s fury, and his fear whenshe was pegged as the weak link. She’d never been afraid though, not of the danger she was in, anyway. She’d had other things to be afraid of.
Opening her eyes, Serena glared up at the memory, noticing that it had changed, though it remained still, paused now on the cusp of the explosion. It was strangely innocent, the picture of the four of them facing off across the asphalt of the playground. She could almost feel her palms sweating, just as they had been that day, and she could feel Zan shushing her inappropriate amusement. Not that she’d been able to help her memory, which had chosen that exact moment to remind her of Zan’s frustrated avowal that she’d thank him one day for being such a fuckin’ dictator when it came to making sure they were in control of their powers. He’d been right. Hell, she’d probably have to give him props for recognizing the danger in being overconfident, too, she figured bitterly. So why the fuck couldn’t he ever follow his own advice? Serena shook her head, feeling the unwelcome sting of tears behind her eyes. She remembered the fight, and their oddly pointless victory. Fight had never been about who ran the house. None of that had ever really mattered she supposed tiredly. They’d found him, that was what mattered. And swallowing hard, Serena remembered the beginning of the end.
“I don’t wanna see this,” Serena said loudly, knowing Zan was there, though he’d yet to show himself. He’d yet to touch her. And her anger sparked over his neglect. What the fuck else did he have to do?
“Why?” Zan asked mildly, stepping forward to stand next to her, though he was careful not to touch her. He’d tried gentle and gotten nowhere. Not that he was surprised. She never had adjusted to gentle persuasion. Too thick-headed. He glanced over at their memory, stomach knotting as he reconsidered his plan yet again. There was supposed to be more time. Only there wasn’t, and now… Zan shook his head in disgust. He was an idiot. Because while he was solidifying a plan to make her let go, she was forcing him to hold on. He shoulda known. And he was half-tempted to force her hand anyway. Except he couldn't. Not with the danger she was so intent on running straight into. It pissed him off, not for the first time, and he glared at her, hating his helplessness and her stubborn refusal to give a fuck. “You’s the one all ‘bout them mem’ries, baby. Why aint you watchin’ this one?” he asked, voice hard.
Serena shrugged, turning to face Zan and then stiffening at his cold expression. “There are otha things ta rememba.”
“Yeah,” Zan agreed, nodding at the four of them. “But’at’s important.”
“Why?” Serena bit out. And then she knew. “You son of a bitch,” she murmured, stepping away when he chose that moment to reach for her. “What? You think seein’ how it all ended… you think that’s…” she broke off, her voice hollow.
“You ain’t givin’ me a choice, Serena.” Zan pointed out, forcing himself to hold his ground and not to move after her. He took a deep breath, swallowing his temper. when he said. “Soona or lata, you’re gonna have ta rememba,” he told her.
“Rememba?” Serena asked in disbelief. “Rememba?!” she repeated incredulously. “You think I forgot? Huh? You think I don’t rememba every fuckin’ minute of every day?! I rememba, Zan. I get it,” Serena finished bitterly.
Zan shook his head. “Do you?” he asked seriously.
“Don’t fuck wit me,” Serena ordered. “Why you think I’m doin’ this?”
“Couldn’ tell ya!” Zan bit out in frustration. “Ain’t for me, ’cuz I sure as hell don’t want you doin’ this,” he said, arms crossed angrily over his chest as he held his ground. Even though every molecule left to him screamed to take her into his arms and soothe the frustrated anguish from her spirit along with the tears she only ever shed in front of him. They were racing down her cheeks now, falling unheeded from eyes alight with pain. He’d give anything to be able to do it. But that wouldn’t get him what he wanted. “Serena think about this. You ain’t gonna win,” he reminded her quietly.
“I don’t care.”
“I do,” Zan said forcefully, his fist clenching with the effort of not reaching out to wipe the moisture from her lashes. “Baby, you gotta stop this. It ain’t worth your life.
Serena wiped the tears from her eyes herself, grateful that this was only a dream and he was the only witness to her weakness. She shook her head tiredly. “My life ain’t worth shit. And neither’s Rath’s,” she whispered with cold simplicity, cutting Zan off before he could reply. “He’s goin’ down, Zan. It’s that simple,” Serena said forcefully.
“Ain’t that simple Serena,” Zan muttered waving a hand at the memory. He was sick of it mocking him in the background and even more sick of her ignoring him. He closed his eyes in exasperation. “Look…” he ground out through clenched teeth.
“You look,” Serena suggested gently, smiling a little over his surprise at her tone of voice. She didn’t want to fight with him, and however pissed he was, Serena knew he was tiring of the argument himself.
Zan opened his eyes, studying Serena and ignoring whichever of her memories was now playing out before them. He didn’t need the reminder. He knew the difference between the girl she’d been and the young woman at his side. She was too thin, her eyes, those incredible eyes, strangely dull, alive only with the pain he could feel eating at her, slowly eroding her spirit. What was left of it. He could remember a time when she’d wanted to know everything the world had to tell her, when her mind had hummed with a constant curiosity. Not anymore. That was his fault, and he hated himself for stealing the light from her eyes. “Jesus, Serena, whatta ya want from me?” he asked tiredly. But he already knew. Just like he knew how impossible it was.
“You’re thinkin’ too much,” Serena whispered softly, acknowledging his uneasiness but refusing to be cowed by it. She wanted him to see, to remember everything they’d lost. Everything Rath had stolen. Everything she was gonna make him pay for. “Just look. Please?”
“Serena…” Almost against his will Zan glanced at the memory she’d called up, his soul already bleeding for the insatiable, questing girl she’d been. It was only a few years ago really, yet it seemed a lifetime behind them, that one magical year when they’d fallen off Fate’s radar and simply…lived. He’d watched her grow up that year, right before his eyes. He’d always known she was a girl but gradually their odd connection had taken on a whole new dimension. Zan stared at their younger selves, remembering exactly what it had felt like to suddenly feel shy and awkward around her. And ridiculous, he reminded himself, at least until…
Zan closed his eyes, betrayed by his own memory as the image she’d called up played out behind his lids.
Zan looked up from the book he was staring at. “How’d we get on this subject again?” he asked, more amused than upset at Serena’s continued interruption. He couldn’t be angry with her, not when her eyes glowed with happy curiosity, their jeweled depths…jeweled depths? he wondered, vaguely appalled. What the fuck was wrong wit him? That was a stupid question. He knew what was wrong with him. But for all the fact that Serena was the brain, she didn’t have one fucking clue. He shook his head in mute frustration. How could she be so fuckin’ oblivious? It wasn’t like it wasn’t obvious! Hell, it was embarrassing how obvious he was.
Serena fell silent, sensing Zan’s inattention even before she noted the way his eyes had gone all fuzzy and unfocused.
“Er, sorry,” Zan muttered, sitting up and laying his book across his lap. Hormones, he’d decided already, sucked. And all it took was one damn look. Or the way she sucked at her bottom lip while she looked at him all worried and… damn it! “You were sayin’…” he prodded angrily. She was almost thirteen, for fuck’s sake. Weren’t girls supposed to mature faster than boys?
Serena blinked and then decided to ignore his bad mood, this was too interesting to be sidetracked. “Wormholes. I was watchin’ Deep Space Nine…”
“Deep Space Nine? That thing wit the Cardassians?” Zan asked, his brows drawn together in confusion. “Since when do you go for the SciFi crap on TV?” Watching TV with her had stopped being worth it cuz all she did was point out any logical inconsistency she could think of. And she could think of a million. “Course, I kinda like the Cardassians,” he admitted.
“I ain’t su’prised,” Serena waved a hand dismissively. “Ain’t about the story, it’s the science. They act’ally got a certain amount a legitimate theory behind it. Listen t’ this…”
Zan nodded every few minutes, the cadence of her voice easing his restlessness even though he hadn’t a damn clue what she was actually saying. Didn’t matter either. All he cared about was that she was happy. And they were finally away from that last house. Safe, that was the important thing. And as long as they followed Bill’s rules, he’d promised not to hand in an ‘unhealthily attached’ report to the social workers. Zan knew nobody understood their connection. Hell lately he was pretty damn confused by ithimself. But there was no fuckin’ way he’d let anyone interfere with it, either. Easing back against the bean bag he’d flopped into, Zan let his shoulder settle against Serena’s. It wasn’t the first time they’d set up shop next to one another, and it wasn’t the first time they’d fallen against each other this way either, but it was the first time he felt what his presence was doing to her. Zan sat up straight and turned to look at her, eyes wide in sudden accusation.
Serena fell silent. “What?” she demanded. Lately it had been getting harder and harder to read Zan, as if sometimes he didn’t want her to know what he was feeling. Course, she admitted guiltily there were times when she sure as hell didn’t want him to know what she was feeling. God, it was embarrassing. And thrilling, and horrifying… and if he kept staring at her like that she was taking off, no questions asked.
Zan ignored her question, focusing instead on the hard pounding of her heart. He smiled slowly, feeling amazingly better now that he knew he wasn’t the only one going through hell. “I make your heart go all crazy, huh?” he asked.
Serena gasped, her eyes wide. And then she moved to stand up, determined to make good on her nonverbal threat to leave. But he grabbed her hand and pulled her back down. She opened her mouth and then closed it again when she realized how close they were now. It’s not like they’d never been that close before. So why was her stomach doing flip-flops? Why did it feel like the first time?
“You ain’t eva gotta run from me, you know that,” Zan said softly, refusing to let go of her wrist. The contact kept their connection live and he knew he’d never be able to do what he was about to do if he couldn’t feel how much she wanted it.
Serena nodded, feeling the strange new fullness of their connection. As if there was a whole nother side to it that they hadn’t even touched on yet. But they were gonna, she just knew it. “I know,” she whispered, her tongue darting out to wet her suddenly dry lips. “I wasn’ runnin’ ‘xactly…I just din’t know…” She smiled, feeling the echo of his heartbeat in the rush of blood pounding through her veins. “I can make your heart all crazy, too.”
“I know.”
“You do?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Took you long enough,” Serena huffed.
Zan grinned, touching her lips briefly with his own before he pulled away. He met her eyes for a second, sensing something he’d never felt before, something he couldn’t yet define but wanted to feel again. He couldn’t resist. Leaning in once more, Zan pressed his lips to Serena’s half convinced he’d never felt anything so soft in his life. And it wasn’t just her lips. God! How many times had he hugged her? Where the fuck had his brain been this whole time?
Serena swallowed hard, closing her eyes against the sweetness of her first kiss. Their first kiss. There were so many firsts that should have belonged to them, so many sweet moments that should have followed. But ‘should of’s’ belonged in the land of make believe. Serena knew too well the reality that had actually followed. “Makes me wish… God, Zan it makes me wish so many things,” she whispered, realizing she’d just been betrayed by her own memory. She gave a short, bitter laugh. He didn’t need to push her to remember the end, she’d done it to herself.
It was amazing how one moment out of time could still have such an effect on him. Zan could almost smell that faintly musty, library smell. He’d hated it at first, hated that she found such sanctuary anywhere but in his company. But he hadn’t been able to begrudge her haven for long. Hell, even after he’d left her, he’d found himself searching out libraries all over the city, seeking that same peace for himself. And though he’d never found exactly that same feeling, libraries were a damn site better than the fuckin’ sewer he called home. Safe, cool in the summer and warm in the winter. And so quiet. They were the only answer to the screeching trains which daily ran over his sanity. And, he admitted in the deepest silence of his soul, they reminded him of her. Serena hadn’t worn perfume then, she still didn’t, but the scent of a library, the promise of the endless knowledge they all contained, always brought him back to her eyes. Even now he couldn’t escape those eyes, or their plea, though he refused to give in to it. “If wishes were horses…” Zan sighed, running a frustrated hand back and forth through his spiked hair.
Blinking a little at the quote, Serena studied Zan with raised brows.
“What?” Zan demanded askance. “I do know howta read. Hada do sumthin while you got lost in all that shit,” he muttered, waving a hand in the general direction of their stilled memory.
Serena slanted him a look from underneath her lashes. “Yeah but what the fuck was you readin’?” she teased with a grin.
Zan shook his head. “You’re a snob, ya know that. An in’allectual snob.”
“Ain’t my fault I was born wit a superior intelligence,” Serena retorted with an innocent shrug.
“Yeah? So why ain’t you caught on to the obvious yet?” Zan demanded softly, sensing an opening. He reached out and took hold of her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Time for you ta listen ta me.”
“Did that once,” Serena shot back, wrenching her face from his harsh grip. “Look what happened.”
Zan glared, his back stiff as he straightened away from her. “Yeah? So what you gonna do now, genius?” And he was gone, leaving the echo of his voice to mock her.
Serena blinked, the angry blaring of the horn behind her forcing her mind back to the present. “Great,” she muttered. She was fuckin’ dreaming about her memories and remembering her dreams. Jesus, she was losin’ it! And why the fuck couldn’t she find a place to eat? Taking a deep breath, she brought her temper back under control and stopped at the sign, silently considering her options. Maybe she ought to just head back to the McDonald’s on the highway. It’s what she’d done yesterday. Back when Zan wasn’t bein’ such an ass and she was still feelin’ guilty for ending up in the one place he’d always wanted to avoid. No use feelin’ guilty now, she thought bitterly. She was here and there was nothin’ he could do about it. Mentally flipping a coin, Serena turned right onto Main St. It sounded promising. There had to be a McDonald’s or at the very least a Burger King or a… Jesus fuckin’ Christ, she thought, slamming on the brakes. Talk about alien central.
The Golden Arches, it wasn’t, Serena admitted, unable to stop the grin that tugged at her lips. She thought that living in NY had shown her just about every kinda freak you could imagine but this was just… beyond. She couldn’t help but stare at the flying saucer protruding from the top of the restaurant. Zan just had to see this. He’d fuckin’… The thought stopped her amusement cold, and left her glaring at the UFO. She really was losin’ it.
Serena jumped, torn from her dark thoughts by the blast of a horn behind her. She raised her middle finger at the other driver absently and quickly pulled the Eldo into a spot in front of the diner. If she was lucky, the burgers wouldn’t be in the shape of alien heads, though she’d bet real money the chicken nuggets were shaped like stars. Not that it mattered, everything tasted like cardboard anyway. Her attention shifted suddenly as she glanced across the street. Jesus, talk about beatin’ a dead horse!
Eyes narrowed on the stenciled advertisement on the window, Serena considered the UFO Center.
Come Inside for the Truth about the Crash
View Authentic Alien Artifacts.
Brody Davis, Proprietor
Chewing at the inside of her cheek, she thought about the possibilities. She didn’t have anything Rath would be looking for, but what if they did? What if that was why he was coming to Roswell? After all, if she were to believe Ava, they had been following him all along. It was a long shot and she knew it, but Serena couldn’t take the chance she was wrong. If Rath wanted something she was gonna get to it first. Serena crossed the street quickly, mindful enough of the traffic to stop in the middle of the street and wait as a blonde in a jetta flew past. She slipped easily amongst the throng of people walking by the building, caually scoping out the place and noting the name of the Security Company. Then she re-crossed to the Eldo. Fuck the food, she needed a library.
**************
“Tourists are idiots!” Maria fumed, storming into the back room of the Crashdown. “She’s lucky she’s not a hood ornament.”
“Who?” Michael asked, looking up from the grill.
“The idiot that practically jumped in front of my car. I mean, if someone’s suicidal, fine, but do you have to travel all the way to Roswell to do the deed?”
Michael paused, spatula in mid-air. “Maria, you didn’t actually hit someone, did…”
“Of course I didn’t hit anyone,” Maria bit out. “What do you think I am?” she questioned, rolling her eyes in frustration as she headed into the bathroom to change.
Michael shrugged, turning back to his burger. “I’ve driven with you,” he muttered.
“I heard that,” Maria called from the bathroom
Liz ignored the familiar bickering, her eyes on her AP Chemistry book. Finals were in a few weeks and she had a lot of studying to make up for, considering her year long preoccupation. Not to mention the added benefit of focusing on the Periodic Table of the Elements, instead of the image of Max and Tess leaving for God knows where, together, after school. Almost growling her frustration Liz slammed her book shut and headed for the front. It was supposed to be like this, she reminded herself, taking a deep breath. And Max was taking things slow, so really… really she had one more year after this so there was no way to avoid seeing them. Not until she left for college. And then… God, then she wouldn’t see him at all. It was a strangely paralyzing thought. In just a couple of years she wouldn’t have any reason to see Max at all. If she left, which was the plan and…basically she was screwed no matter how she looked at it. And she thought this day couldn’t get worse. Ducking under Maria’s narrowed gaze Liz grabbed her pad from the counter and headed to the nearest booth. “Welcome to the Crashdown, I’m Liz can I take your order?”
“I know who you are Parker,” Sean said dryly, smiling at Liz’s distraction.
Liz blinked. “Oh, hey Sean, I was just…”
“Someplace else?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, speaking of someplace else, what are you doing for dinner tonight?”
Liz held up her pad. “Helping to feed the hungry masses.”
“Oh. Right, well, what about tomorrow, or whenever you're free?”
“Sean, really, I don’t…” Liz paused. Maybe this was the best thing. It would help keep her mind off everything she didn’t want to think about anyway. She’d have to get on with her life eventually… Sooner or later. And, she suddenly decided, sooner was better than later. It was a good idea. A sound plan. Really.
Sean sighed. “Right, maybe some other…”
“No, you know what? Dinner sounds good. Let me just check the schedule and I’ll let you know.”
“Check, you, yeah! No, that’s great.”
“Right,” Liz smiled, giggling a little over Sean’s surprised stuttering. Her smile faded as she remembered the way Max used to…do something I have no intention of thinking about, she told herself sternly. Sighing, she started to walk away and then stopped. “Oh, did you want…”
Sean grinned. “Got what I wanted. Gimme a call when you know what day’s good.”
“Sure, I will. Yeah.” Liz watched Sean leave, wishing he’d taken a little longer. She could feel Maria glaring a hole through her back.
“Ok. What the hell was that?” Maria demanded in disgust.
“That was me making a…date,” Liz replied with a nonchalant shrug.
Maria crossed her arms over her chest. “Uh-huh. With my cousin. Who is even more undateable than Michael.”
“Hey! I heard that.” Michael piped up from the pass through. He rolled his eyes when Maria turned to glare. “Order,” he announced, dinging the bell before heading quickly back to the grill.
“I’ll get it,” Liz said brightly, trying to move past her best friend, but the other girl remained planted directly in her path. “What do you want me to do, huh? Sit around and pine? And cry? And be pathetic? Huh? I can, you know, if you really want me to?” Liz snapped out, feeling angry tears sting the back of her eyes. She took a deep breath, forcing the wave of emotion back. “I can’t just sit still and watch my own life anymore. I need to do… something.”
Maria’s expression softened. “Yeah, but Liz…this?” she asked gently. “Are you sure you want to jump into dating someone else, particularly my cousin, when you’ve only just…”
“It’s been months, Maria,” Liz pointed out.
“Only technically,” Maria countered softly. “I know you and I just don’t want to see you get hurt again, like you did…”
Liz sighed tiredly. Why was it no one seemed to understand? “Nothing will ever hurt like that again, Maria, so don’t worry about me, ok? If I don’t do this…” she shrugged sadly, bravado lost in the reality she’d always known was unavoidable. “I just feel like, if I don’t move forward now, I never will. And I can’t stay in this moment, Maria, I can’t.”
“Liz…”
“And I don’t want to talk about it ok? Not now.” She glanced up as the bell above the front door rang, signaling more customers. She sighed heavily. “We’d better…”
Maria nodded. “Yeah. Liz, just…you don’t have to talk about it now, but…when you’re ready, I’m here.”
“Thanks.”
“What are friends for?” Maria asked, with a smile, forcing it to stay in place when Liz rallied with her own.
“Apparently not delivering food.”
Maria swallowed hard. “Hi, Mr. P. Yeah, I was just gonna go get that.”
“Good plan,” Jeff observed dryly. He turned to his daughter, his eyes narrowing as he studied her face. “Lizzie, are you…”
“Fine dad.” Liz pointed at the group of kids heading into the restaurant. “Customers,” she said, making her getaway.
Right. Jeff’s eyes narrowed on his daughter’s back as she bustled around the restaurant, taking orders and looking almost happy. Almost. He hadn’t imagined the pain in her eyes a moment ago, or the sadness that had seemed a permanent part of her all year. Something was…
“Order!”
“I heard you the first time!”
“So why’s it still sittin’ here?”
Sighing heavily, Jeff turned to what he had begun to refer to as his very own dinner theater. “Hey, can we cut down just a little on the theatrics tonight?” he asked, pinning Maria with a look that let her know he didn’t buy her innocent expression for a minute. “And you can wipe that look off your face, Michael, I mean you too,” he said, not bothering to look over his shoulder at the cook. He shook his head. Sometimes it felt like he was parenting his staff not managing them. He went into the back, hearing Michael and Maria start up again as soon as they thought he was out of ear shot. “It’s gonna be a long night.”
“Yeah, so I heard that he just took off, like, screaming her name or something,” Shelly Abrams sighed dramatically. “It’s always the quiet ones.”
Jessica Winters shook her head skeptically. “Max Evans? I just don’t see it. He’s not the Heathcliff type,” she replied, her mind still on the studying she’d done for the English Lit final, and the worthless movie she’d rented to help Wuthering Heights along. Not even Ralph Fiennes could save that book.
Shelly pinned her friend with a condescending glare. “Haven’t you been paying attention? He’s been brooding over Liz Parker all year,” she practically squealed. In point of fact, she hadn’t been paying attention to Max Evans’ brooding. No one had, but after the way he’d taken off in the middle of the prom, presumably to go after his date, who’d left in tears, there wasn’t a gossip in school worth their subscription to Soap Opera Digest who’d admit that. “I think it’s romantic,” she continued.
“Why am I not surprised?” Jess asked with a roll of her eyes. “I think it’s kind of sad actually. Wasn’t he dating that blonde girl? The one that transferred last year,” she clarified dryly at Sally’s blank look. She sighed in exasperation. Like there were that many people who had transferred to West Roswell High…ever.
“You don’t have a romantic bone in your body, do you?” Sally asked dismissively. “Just goes to show, you can’t stand in the way of true love,” she added blithely unaware of the fuming blonde they’d just passed.
“Or what? You’ll get steam rolled?” Jess shrugged. “I still feel sorry for her. What a way to find out your boyfriend’s in love with someone else.”
Tess’s blue eyes narrowed in disgust as the two girls rounded the corner, completely oblivious to her presence. You stupid, insignificant…you feel sorry, for me, she thought angrily. She looked to her left, glaring at reason for her humiliation. Max was standing in front of his locker, completely oblivious to the loudly whispered speculation. So what else was new? Oblivious may have been his middle name, but ever since she’d walked into school today all she’d heard about was the way he’d run after Liz Parker. She glared after Shelly and Jess. Sadly, those two giggling idiots weren’t the only ones who’d looked like they felt sorry for her. Tess gritted her teeth, watching with a certain amount of satisfaction as Max fought to pull a book from behind the backpack he’d just shoved into his locker. She snorted. Idiot. And then she bit her lip. Idiot she had to seduce before the terms of the treaty ran out. And she became obsolete. And Zeijahra… Right. Focus, Tess. “Hi Max,” she called, raising her head and offering a small smile before turning back to her own locker.
Max froze. Tess. Not like you could avoid her forever, you’re in three classes with her, his common sense pointed out. Not until the end of the day, his desperation retorted. She’s standing right there, reality reminded him dryly. “Um, hi, Tess,” he murmured, his stomach knotting tightly. He struggled to take a deep breath and then froze, his eyes drawn unerringly down the hall, to a spot just over Tess’s right shoulder. Liz. Max caught her dark gaze, his discomfort falling away as, for a brief moment, the rest of the world faded into unimportant.
Tess took a deep breath, forcing herself not to turn around and follow Max’s stare. She already knew what she’d find. Don’t push, keep that stupid smile pasted on your face and shrug it off. Retreat for now and try again later, she counseled herself. “Well, I’ll…talk to you later,” she said perkily, glowering inside. She hated perky. Always had. But he liked perky, Tess reminded herself. And helpless, she thought with disgust, offering another quick smile for good measure, and then closing her locker. She started to walk past him, her eyes on her book so he wouldn’t see the anger she could feel burning there. “Bye, Max.”
Max nodded absently, his body already leaning toward the first step that would take him to her. Only he couldn’t. He blinked, completely thrown as the deep breath he saw Liz force into her lungs reverberated through his chest. He couldn’t feel her, exactly, not like he wanted to, but he could read the insistence in the depths of her eyes. The sorrow. She nodded once, offering a smile that was both brief and forgiving. Max sighed heavily, recognizing the reminder for what it was. Everything had changed, but nothing was different. He had a responsibility now. One he’d always had, he supposed, feeling a brief surge of resentment. Still focusing desperately on Liz, unable to look at Tess just yet without… blaming her. For something that would never be her fault, he forced himself to acknowledge.
Swallowing hard, Max offered Liz the briefest nod, grateful for the support radiating guilelessly from her eyes. Pasting a smile on his face and taking a deep breath, Max turned back to Tess, surprised to find her walking away. “Tess, wait,” he opened his mouth and then closed it again when she did exactly as he asked her to. How the hell was he supposed to start this conversation, when he didn’t really even want to have it? Tess certainly wasn’t helping, just standing there, glancing at him in between serious bouts of studying the algebra book in her hand. He sighed. “Yeah, so… I thought maybe we should talk.” Max gave a mental roll of his eyes, wincing at Tess’ expression. Nothing like blunt, he decided.
Tess closed her eyes briefly. She was screwed, she could hear it in his determined tone of voice. “You’re with Liz now, I know. Everyone’s talking about it,” she muttered, her heart beating faster as she ignored Max’s resigned expression. She didn’t have time for this, for his guilt over having to let her down. She eyed him coolly, wondering how he’d feel if she told him just what his obstinence was going to cost her. Swallowing hard, Tess wondered briefly if there was anywhere she could go that Zeijahra wouldn’t find her. Nicholas she could have escaped, but this new threat.
Max stared, startled by the clearly defeated look on her face. It was rare to see her so vulnerable, particularly in public. Only when they were alone was she so open… only when she whispered to him of the things she remembered, and wanted him to feel. “No,” he cleared his throat, removing the hoarseness from his voice and refocusing on Tess. “We’re not. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I’m… not with Liz,” he said, reaching out to touch her arm briefly. He wanted to apologize to her, though he wasn’t sure why, or even how.
Tess stared, her mind racing as she met his eyes. “You’re… not?” She shook her head along with Max, bristling internally at his understanding expression. Shit, now he felt sorry for her. “But when you went after her, I thought…” she began, careful to keep her voice little girl high, and her eyes wide and innocent. He liked wide and innocent, she thought bitterly. Needy. Nasedo hadn’t been wrong about that, at least. Max’s protective streak was a mile wide. Use it, she reminded herself.
“After I caught up with her we…” Max paused, suddenly at a loss, caught between what he needed to do and what he wanted to do. And hadn’t he been stuck here forever? Without conscious decision, he sought Liz’s gaze, the heat of her soul, and found a clarity he’d already known he couldn’t avoid in the rich depths of her eyes. His entire life teetered on the brink of… something. He could feel it. He ached with it, the definition and clarity he suddenly found as he stared one last time into Liz Parker’s soul and finally saw, really saw. He understood this moment as if it defined them, and maybe it did, wrapped in their past as it was. And shadowed by the future, an eternal moment of promise. And heartbreak. He couldn’t tear his eyes from hers, even when the moment lasted too long, leaving both of them raw and too aware. He struggled for an instant after she finally looked away, reaching, though she was gone before he’d gotten the chance to... he didn’t even know. Except he did. Defeated, Max fought the sudden suffocating tightness in his chest, hating what he was about to do and knowing it needed to be done.
“We talked,” Max continued, meeting Tess’s gaze squarely. “We decided that it was better to just be… friends,” he finished firmly.
“You decided to just be friends,” Tess repeated blankly, her annoyance over Max’s preoccupation giving way to wariness. Maybe her life wasn’t forfeit after all. “Really. You did?” she asked skeptically.
Max nodded. Tess’s hesitation was understandable. Hell, he wouldn’t be surprised if she wanted nothing to do with him after the way…the way he’d been running from her. He sighed, feeling worse about behavior he hadn’t even considered before. “Yeah. We did. I just, I thought you should know, you know? I mean, I don’t expect you to… I don’t expect anything from you. I’d completely understand if you were angry or, or something after the way I just… you know, at the prom and…”
“I’m not angry with you,” Tess said softly, surprised and strangely touched by his nervousness. He was worried that she would be angry, he was actually worried about her feelings.
“Oh.”
“Oh?” Tess echoed, confused when he fell silent and simply stared at her.
“Right. I mean, good. I’m glad.” Max shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled with an embarrassed smile, taking a deep breath and starting over again. “I’m glad you’re not mad about… the way I’ve been acting about… everything.”
Tess shrugged uncomfortably. It was different than she’d thought it would be, suddenly finding herself the focus his attention. “Max, it’s ok,” she said, placing a gentle hand on his arm. She shrugged again, offering a brief smile. “Really, I’m not mad. I’m sort of…”
“Used to it,” Max finished regretfully.
“Yeah,” Tess murmured, drawn closer by the honest emotion in his eyes.
Max took a deep breath, his head snapping up as the warning bell rang, a shrill reminder that they were going to be late. Which shouldn’t come as a shock, he’d been running late all day. “We should…”
“Right,” Tess muttered with a sigh.
Max looked away, the clear frustration on her face surprising him a little. “Look, I…I don’t want to act like you have to…”
“Max, we’re married,” Tess snapped. She sighed internally, quickly recovering and offering an apologetic smile in response to his expression. “I’m sorry, I just…”
Max shook his head, still feeling somewhat taken aback at her vehemence. It had been a few months since she’d said anything like that. Though she’d obviously been thinking it the whole time. And she’d been right the whole time, he reminded himself. “No, I understand, Tess, I do. I know we have this… history and, and I’m remembering that but… I don’t want to push you or… anything. I just want us to get to know each other in this life, too,” he said, nodding his sincerity. Right, Evans. Because that’s not stalling at all. Max silenced his common sense, not really caring to hear its opinion. He glanced over Tess’ shoulder, knowing Liz was already gone but unable to resist the strange impulse to seek her out.
Tess blinked, her ire replaced by a vague astonishment over his admission. “You do?”
Max ignored the sudden loneliness of the hallway and nodded. “I do,” he said firmly. “What about dinner? Tonight?”
Tess stared, feeling like this conversation, this whole thing was moving…quickly. Which was good. Wasn’t it? “Dinner? Sure.” She smiled at him, and then paused, her eyes narrowing. “At the Crash?” Tess asked suspiciously.
Max started to nod and then shook his head emphatically. The Crash was definitely not the place to take Tess on a… date. And Senor Chow’s was out. “I’m in the mood for pizza, what about you?”
Tess nodded, a slow, delighted smile spreading across her lips. Dinner at the Pizza Pan… they wouldn’t even have to see Liz Parker. “Pizza sounds good.”
“So tonight,” Max agreed, wincing as the last bell announced that they were now officially late for class. He rolled his eyes, sharing a grin with Tess as she did the same.
“Tonight,” Tess agreed, turning and breaking into a light jog as she headed to class. She felt decidedly strange with the pensive weight of his eyes against her back. The full force of his attentiveness was… disturbing. Especially considering that when this was all over with… Tess bit her lip, trying to ignore the sharp pang of what could only be guilt. She hadn’t expected this, hadn’t expected him to be so… nice. He wasn’t, really, she reminded herself harshly. He’d leaned on her when he had to, used her. Rule #1, don’t fall for your own warp. And don’t forget to take care of #1. Tess wondered idly how long it had taken Nasedo to dream that one up. Didn’t matter, anyway, Tess sighed. She didn’t have a choice. And if Max had a choice, it wouldn’t be her he’d be pursuing. Whatever else he’d said, she’d bet real money that his being ‘friends’ with Liz Parker wasn’t something that he’d decided at all. Righteous indignation firmly back in place, Tess raised her head high. All this meant was that she was back on track. And at least now, she wouldn’t have to work so hard.
******************************
“So, did he eva, give you somethin’ ta…ta keep safe, maybe?” Ava asked, careful to keep her voice only mildly curious.
Serena looked up, studying the blonde’s innocently widened eyes. She raised an eyebrow when Ava began to pace. Again. “Not that I can think of,” she replied, strangely fascinated when her answer caused the other girl to pace even faster. She glanced down at the magazine spread before her on the hotel bed, her lip curling in disgust over Cosmo’s ‘10 Things I Hate About You’. Stupid shit. How do those idiots get jobs? “You eva gonna tell me what happen’d yestaday?” Serena inquired lightly.
“What makes you think…”
Serena raised her eyes. “Done wearin’ a hole in’a carpet, huh?” she asked when Ava came to a halt in front of the bed. “I ain’t stupid. You been jumpin’ at your own shadow since I got back yestaday.” Serena’s eyes narrowed on Ava’s guilty expression. “You talked to him, di’nt ya?”
Ava started to shake her head, but Serena was off the bed and stalking toward her so quickly that her denial got caught in her throat.
“What’d he say?” Serena paused, Ava’s half-assed interrogation about what Zan may have left behind suddenly taking on a whole new meaning. “What’s he looking for?” she growled, catching Ava’s arm and pulling the other girl back into the confrontation when she would have backed away.
“I don’t… he’s lookin’ for somethin’ Zan had. Somethin’ from the crash, ok?” Ava rushed out, pulling her arm from Serena’s grip.
“What makes you think Zan had anythin’ from the crash?”
“We know he did,” Ava bit out in frustration. This wasn’t her fault damn it, so why did she always end up on the receiving end of this shit?
“Well, what was it? What’d it look like?”
Ava shrugged uncomfortably. “Ain’t sure. I mean it’s gotta look alien, right?” She caught Serena’s skeptical look and explained. “Zan neva tol’ us nothin’ ’bou what he was up ta. He took somethin’ from our protector, an’ he hid it. That’s all I know…’cept, whateva it is…we need ta get it back so when Rath shows up here...”
“Ain’t got it,” Serena said dismissively. Something from the crash? “What’s His Holy Havoc want wit this somthin’ anyway?
“I don’t know. An’ it don’t matta. He wants it, an’…an’ he’ll do what he’s gotta ta get it.” Ava drew in a deep breath, her temper falling away at the distant look on Serena’s face. "Serena, just... you have ta think.”
Serena’s brows almost hit her hair line. “You tryin’a tell me howta think?” she asked in disbelief.
Ignoring the anger sparking in the other girls eyes Ava said, “Rath is gonna be here soon an’, an’ we’s gonna need somethin’ ta keep us alive…somethin’ ta bargain wit," she pointed out desperately. "What you think is gonna happen when Rath gets here and we ain’t got what he's lookin' for."
"Don't care what he's lookin' for."
"You should! Jesus, Serena he's gonna..."
"Die," Serena said softly, cold calculation clear in her voice. She held Ava's gaze. "He's gonna die. An' sooner or lata, you may act’ally have ta pick a side."
“Damn it!” Ava cried in frustration. “Don’t you get it? He ain’t gonna be nice about this. Trust me, it’s easier ta just… just give him what he wants an’…” she shook her head, reading Serena’s disregard in the aloof expression on her face. Ava glared at the other girl. She’d never hated her more than she did right now. Serena would survive if she wanted to, Ava was almost sure of it. But her own survival was hardly as certain. “Damn it! This ain’t gonna change a thing. Ain’t like you can eva make up for…” She fell silent at Serena’s sharp bark of laughter.
“Whatta I gotta make up for?” Serena asked coldly. She took a step forward, easily holding the blonde in her sights. “Let’s not mistake your guilt for my motives,” she suggested coolly, picking up the phone and shoving it at the other girl. “An’ you betta start rememb’rin’ that you’re only here cuz you’re useful. Call him an’ tell him I got it,” she ordered.
Ava gripped the phone, her knuckles whitening around the receiver. “But… if I do that…”
Serena shook her head. Useless. The chick was fuckin’ useless. “Just do it. An’ then we all get what we want,” she muttered.
Swallowing hard, Ava nodded. It was easier than arguing. Even though she knew full well she wasn’t gonna get what she wanted. Cuz the minute she called Rath, there was no way out.
********************************
Shit! Liz glanced up at the clock just above the bank of lockers and glared. She was gonna be late. Again. She sighed heavily, giving in to the inevitable. Apparently her reward for finally falling asleep last night was to be running late all day today. At least she hadn’t had any nightmares. Or dreams, either, now that she thought about it. Grabbing her English book, Liz slammed her locker shut and took off for class, hoping to come up with an excuse Mrs. Harold would buy…or accept…or… “Oof! Jeez, I’m…” Liz took a quick step back, grabbing for the arm that reached to steady her and regaining her balance before she could make a complete fool of herself.
“Hi.”
Swallowing hard, Liz let her eyes wander from the hard chest she’d just run into, to the warm, teasing light in his eyes when they met hers. “Hi, Max,” she whispered back, every worry about the awkwardness that was sure to permeate the first meeting after their last night, lost within her strange and sudden relief. She gestured vaguely down the hall. “I was just running…”
“I can see that,” Max interrupted with a grin.
“I meant I was running because I’m about to be late,” Liz clarified, rolling her eyes. She followed his gaze to her waist, wanting nothing more than to take a step closer. Instead, she forced herself to take a half step back. Strangely, that did nothing to ease the fierceness of her heartbeat. The air around them seemed hotter suddenly, alive with expectation even as her hand fell from his arm and his fingers slid from her waist, leaving a dormant electricity in their wake.
Max took a quick breath, still feeling the shadow of her fingers still resting against his bicep. He ignored it, ignored the urge to move forward, though he did allow himself a moment to drink in the soft flush of her cheeks and the warmth in her eyes as she met and held his gaze. Even amidst the restraint, it was an odd victory, this newfound ease. “I’ve been running late all day,” he admitted, ignoring the chaotic din echoing through the hall as a wave of students rushed by them, desperate to make it to class on time.
Liz bit her lip, able to look away briefly before her eyes returned to his. She smiled, feeling shy and empowered all at the same time. Somehow, seeing him look back at her without the hard edge of anger and bitter confusion that had been slowly stealing his warmth made this entire, miserable day worth it. “How are…”
“…you doing?” Max laughed, feeling his sagging spirits lighten with her giggle as they both voiced the same thought. “You first,” he suggested, before nodding down the hall in question.
Liz shrugged easily, falling into step next to him as they headed for class. They were both going to the same place after all, what was the harm? “Yeah, so I’m, I’m good. You?”
“I’m fine, I’m good,” Max echoed.
Liz nodded. “Me too,” she said, only vaguely aware of the rest of the student body rushing past them as they walked. What she was aware of, what she couldn’t help but be aware of was the occasional brush of his arm against hers. And the nagging expectation fluttering through the pit of her stomach.
“I thought you said he was with what’s her name, this morning,” Georgia whispered loudly.
“He was,” Angela replied, sounding put out that she was wrong. “Maybe they have some kind of kinky threeso…”
“Will you two shut up, they’re not deaf!” Pam Troy hissed. She glanced at Liz, opened her mouth and then shrugged, ushering her two friends into class with a stern look.
Liz glanced over at Max, and then looked away, feeling their euphoria slip from her grasp as reality fell back into place. Which, Liz reminded herself bitterly, was bound to happen sooner or later. So why couldn’t it be later?
Max sighed, knowing what she was thinking. He was thinking it too, but the sudden shadow of pain, too familiar after all this time, made his chest ache. “How are you really doing?” he asked gently.
Offering him a somber smile, Liz shrugged. “Let’s not go there,” she suggested quietly, gritting her teeth as the bell rang. “This day just….”
“Sucks?” Max asked. “Mine, too. Started yesterday actually.” He looked over at Liz, shaking his head in quick denial when he caught her expression. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he assured her seriously. “I meant my parents.”
“Your parents?” Liz asked, wrinkling her nose.
“Yeah. They had some… uh, issues with me staying out all night. I think they’ve decided I’m a juvenile delinquent or something.”
Liz snorted. “You? Are they…”
“They’ve pieced everything together and apparently Holmes and Watson decided that all my weird behavior—no comment, please,” he interjected at Liz’s look, “means I’ve been sneaking out to the desert to drink and have sex.” Oh my God, did I just say that? Max could feel his ears beginning to burn, but Liz didn’t even notice. She was too busy laughing.
“I…I, I’m sorry,” Liz finally got out between giggles. “I know it’s not funny.” And it wasn’t. Exactly. But she couldn’t seem to help herself. It was so far from the truth, and the look on his face so dramatically put upon… Liz shook her head. Compared to truth, the very normal parental concern was simply ludicrous. And suddenly even the dire seriousness of the situation seemed hysterical. Especially when Max looked even more put out by her laughter. Though she could tell he was coming around. One corner of his mouth was curling up in the vaguest smile.
“Thank you. Really, thanks for laughing at my humiliation,” Max said flatly, unable to keep a completely straight face.
“Oh my God. I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you…” Liz forced out breathlessly. “I mean, but you… drunk! And out in the desert…” Having sex, her damn imagination pointed out. Liz took a deep breath, her laughter quieting.
“Um, you know…they think you were there, too,” Max reminded her dryly.
“Me?!” Liz squeaked, sobering immediately. “That’s not funny.”
“Now it’s not funny?” Max asked with a grin.
Liz stared at him. “Why do they think I… I mean we haven’t been anywhere near each other until…” she broke off, stricken as she pointed directly at the pink elephant they’d both been ignoring.
Max swallowed hard, his smile faltering. “Yeah, I know.” He took a deep breath. “I guess it’s because of the um, all-nighter. Plus they think I woke up with a hangover,” he muttered lightly, hating the weight he could feel hanging in the air just waiting to crush them both. It left him unable to simply enjoy the moment as he had been doing.
“Sorry,” Liz said softly.
Max shrugged. “S’ok.”
Ignoring the pain now throbbing in the region of her heart, Liz searched for a way past their sudden awkwardness. And then her brows drew together in confusion. “Wait… hangover? Why would they think you had a hangover?”
“I got sick. The greenest they’ve ever seen me,” Max attempted to joke.
“Not funny,” Liz said darkly, pulling him to a halt. “When you say sick, what exactly do you mean?” she asked, her hand already reaching for his forehead. God, if he had a fever…
Max stepped back, catching her hand in midair and gently putting it back to her side. “It’s not what you’re thinking,” he said, unable to resist squeezing her fingers lightly before dropping her hand.
Liz suppressed a light shiver when Max’s thumb grazed her palm as he slid his fingers from hers. She bit her lip uncertainly, wanting to be comforted but finding it difficult to believe it was as simple as that. “Yeah, but Max what if…”
“It wasn’t… Michael sick, I was just…I think it was just everything, you know? But I’m ok. I’d know if it was an actual problem. Really,” Max assured her. He looked away uncomfortably, not wanting to explain how he’d made himself sick. “Could we just drop it?”
Liz nodded, seeing the embarrassment that lit his eyes just before he looked away from her. She closed her eyes in acute understanding, remembering the nausea that had haunted her all day yesterday, and feeling guilty for having laughed at him just a minute ago. Reaching out, she caught his arm. “Max, I’m sorry, I…”
Max shook his head, purposely misunderstanding her apology. “I’m not,” he said softly, turning to look at Liz. “It was worth it. And I’m not broken so just… don’t worry about me, ok?”
Liz shrugged, studying the scuffed toe of his shoe briefly before she raised her eyes to his. “I can’t help it,” she whispered. “It’s what…friends do.”
Max looked away. “Yeah. Friends.” And there was that damn elephant.
“So, you, um… you talked to Tess.”
Max nodded. Phase One accomplished, he thought sarcastically. He glanced at Liz and saw that she was waiting for more than nonverbal confirmation. “Yeah. I told her that we, you and I were just… you know. And then I said we should… get to know each other in this life.” The words tasted bitter in his mouth, sounding like the cheesiest of lines to his ears. But Liz nodded her encouragement.
Liz took a deep breath and forced a bright, supportive smile to her face. “That’s, that’s good, Max. You know, make it about her and not just like she’s…”
“Second best?” Max finished sardonically. He shook his head. “Ok. I can’t have this conversation anymore,” he said uncomfortably. It was one thing to be planning a full frontal assault as if Tess were the enemy and something else entirely to be discussing it with Liz. He wasn’t sure who he was betraying more with that kind of callousness.
Thank God. Liz nodded emphatically. “You’re right, we shouldn’t be talking about this…”
“Especially because the two of you should be in class right now. Mine, specifically,” Mrs. Harold interrupted smoothly. “Or didn’t you realize the bell applied to you too?”
Liz ducked her head, feeling her blush deepen as the rest of class laughed.
Max sighed, following Liz into class and falling heavily into his seat, careful to keep his head down as his ears burned with their shared embarrassment. He really should have stayed in bed. ’Cuz this day sucked.
********************************
“Fresh meat?” Serena asked as she came to stand beside Zan on the landing. More kids seemed to join this house everyday. And she was getting’ sick of breakin’ ‘em in.
Zan nodded absently, hauling Serena back with him when the boy and girl turned from the social worker to look up. At him. Directly at him. And he hadn’t been quick enough in moving out of sight because for a split second he caught the girls eye. They were… “I know them,” he muttered.
Serena blinked, with his hand on her arm, odd strange connection was sparking to life and she could feel Zan’s confusion over that statement. Which did nothing to help her own. Shaking her head, Serena focused on the recognition she felt still burning through him. It was altogether different than his recognition of her had been, and she shivered a little, suddenly worried. “Whatta you mean you know ‘em? From where?” she demanded.
Zan turned to stare at the girl next to him. “There,” he answered, nodding pointedly at the ceiling.
Upstairs? Serena shook her head blankly, her own eyes following Zan’s gaze. She could feel his exasperation and could almost hear his often voiced admonition not to be so oblivious. Well, then what…oh. “Up there?” she questioned. Her brows drew together and she looked at Zan, an odd possessiveness moving through her system. “Is she da one that…”
“Nah, dif’rent eyes…hair…” Zan muttered. He’d never met those two, but he knew suddenly that they were as alien as he was. He moved forward cautiously, looking over the railing again, Serena practically glued to his side. The other two hadn’t moved and now the boy was staring up at him as well. Zan glared, drawing himself to his full height, feeling Serena do the same. He raised his chin, sneering down at the two newcomers. He’d be damned if he retreated before the challenging glares coming from the two kids downstairs.
Serena swallowed hard and shook her head. “No,” she whispered hoarsely. “No,” she repeated more forcefully, grateful if unsurprised that the memory halted midstream, showing her and Zan suspended in time as they stared down at Lonnie and Rath for the first time. “That’s as far as it goes,” she muttered indecisively. She didn’t want to remember this, didn’t want to watch as the inevitable confrontation played itself out. She didn’t need to remember the days that followed. Lonnie’s sneer, Rath’s rabid anger and never-ending challenge. Zan’s fury, and his fear whenshe was pegged as the weak link. She’d never been afraid though, not of the danger she was in, anyway. She’d had other things to be afraid of.
Opening her eyes, Serena glared up at the memory, noticing that it had changed, though it remained still, paused now on the cusp of the explosion. It was strangely innocent, the picture of the four of them facing off across the asphalt of the playground. She could almost feel her palms sweating, just as they had been that day, and she could feel Zan shushing her inappropriate amusement. Not that she’d been able to help her memory, which had chosen that exact moment to remind her of Zan’s frustrated avowal that she’d thank him one day for being such a fuckin’ dictator when it came to making sure they were in control of their powers. He’d been right. Hell, she’d probably have to give him props for recognizing the danger in being overconfident, too, she figured bitterly. So why the fuck couldn’t he ever follow his own advice? Serena shook her head, feeling the unwelcome sting of tears behind her eyes. She remembered the fight, and their oddly pointless victory. Fight had never been about who ran the house. None of that had ever really mattered she supposed tiredly. They’d found him, that was what mattered. And swallowing hard, Serena remembered the beginning of the end.
“I don’t wanna see this,” Serena said loudly, knowing Zan was there, though he’d yet to show himself. He’d yet to touch her. And her anger sparked over his neglect. What the fuck else did he have to do?
“Why?” Zan asked mildly, stepping forward to stand next to her, though he was careful not to touch her. He’d tried gentle and gotten nowhere. Not that he was surprised. She never had adjusted to gentle persuasion. Too thick-headed. He glanced over at their memory, stomach knotting as he reconsidered his plan yet again. There was supposed to be more time. Only there wasn’t, and now… Zan shook his head in disgust. He was an idiot. Because while he was solidifying a plan to make her let go, she was forcing him to hold on. He shoulda known. And he was half-tempted to force her hand anyway. Except he couldn't. Not with the danger she was so intent on running straight into. It pissed him off, not for the first time, and he glared at her, hating his helplessness and her stubborn refusal to give a fuck. “You’s the one all ‘bout them mem’ries, baby. Why aint you watchin’ this one?” he asked, voice hard.
Serena shrugged, turning to face Zan and then stiffening at his cold expression. “There are otha things ta rememba.”
“Yeah,” Zan agreed, nodding at the four of them. “But’at’s important.”
“Why?” Serena bit out. And then she knew. “You son of a bitch,” she murmured, stepping away when he chose that moment to reach for her. “What? You think seein’ how it all ended… you think that’s…” she broke off, her voice hollow.
“You ain’t givin’ me a choice, Serena.” Zan pointed out, forcing himself to hold his ground and not to move after her. He took a deep breath, swallowing his temper. when he said. “Soona or lata, you’re gonna have ta rememba,” he told her.
“Rememba?” Serena asked in disbelief. “Rememba?!” she repeated incredulously. “You think I forgot? Huh? You think I don’t rememba every fuckin’ minute of every day?! I rememba, Zan. I get it,” Serena finished bitterly.
Zan shook his head. “Do you?” he asked seriously.
“Don’t fuck wit me,” Serena ordered. “Why you think I’m doin’ this?”
“Couldn’ tell ya!” Zan bit out in frustration. “Ain’t for me, ’cuz I sure as hell don’t want you doin’ this,” he said, arms crossed angrily over his chest as he held his ground. Even though every molecule left to him screamed to take her into his arms and soothe the frustrated anguish from her spirit along with the tears she only ever shed in front of him. They were racing down her cheeks now, falling unheeded from eyes alight with pain. He’d give anything to be able to do it. But that wouldn’t get him what he wanted. “Serena think about this. You ain’t gonna win,” he reminded her quietly.
“I don’t care.”
“I do,” Zan said forcefully, his fist clenching with the effort of not reaching out to wipe the moisture from her lashes. “Baby, you gotta stop this. It ain’t worth your life.
Serena wiped the tears from her eyes herself, grateful that this was only a dream and he was the only witness to her weakness. She shook her head tiredly. “My life ain’t worth shit. And neither’s Rath’s,” she whispered with cold simplicity, cutting Zan off before he could reply. “He’s goin’ down, Zan. It’s that simple,” Serena said forcefully.
“Ain’t that simple Serena,” Zan muttered waving a hand at the memory. He was sick of it mocking him in the background and even more sick of her ignoring him. He closed his eyes in exasperation. “Look…” he ground out through clenched teeth.
“You look,” Serena suggested gently, smiling a little over his surprise at her tone of voice. She didn’t want to fight with him, and however pissed he was, Serena knew he was tiring of the argument himself.
Zan opened his eyes, studying Serena and ignoring whichever of her memories was now playing out before them. He didn’t need the reminder. He knew the difference between the girl she’d been and the young woman at his side. She was too thin, her eyes, those incredible eyes, strangely dull, alive only with the pain he could feel eating at her, slowly eroding her spirit. What was left of it. He could remember a time when she’d wanted to know everything the world had to tell her, when her mind had hummed with a constant curiosity. Not anymore. That was his fault, and he hated himself for stealing the light from her eyes. “Jesus, Serena, whatta ya want from me?” he asked tiredly. But he already knew. Just like he knew how impossible it was.
“You’re thinkin’ too much,” Serena whispered softly, acknowledging his uneasiness but refusing to be cowed by it. She wanted him to see, to remember everything they’d lost. Everything Rath had stolen. Everything she was gonna make him pay for. “Just look. Please?”
“Serena…” Almost against his will Zan glanced at the memory she’d called up, his soul already bleeding for the insatiable, questing girl she’d been. It was only a few years ago really, yet it seemed a lifetime behind them, that one magical year when they’d fallen off Fate’s radar and simply…lived. He’d watched her grow up that year, right before his eyes. He’d always known she was a girl but gradually their odd connection had taken on a whole new dimension. Zan stared at their younger selves, remembering exactly what it had felt like to suddenly feel shy and awkward around her. And ridiculous, he reminded himself, at least until…
Zan closed his eyes, betrayed by his own memory as the image she’d called up played out behind his lids.
Zan looked up from the book he was staring at. “How’d we get on this subject again?” he asked, more amused than upset at Serena’s continued interruption. He couldn’t be angry with her, not when her eyes glowed with happy curiosity, their jeweled depths…jeweled depths? he wondered, vaguely appalled. What the fuck was wrong wit him? That was a stupid question. He knew what was wrong with him. But for all the fact that Serena was the brain, she didn’t have one fucking clue. He shook his head in mute frustration. How could she be so fuckin’ oblivious? It wasn’t like it wasn’t obvious! Hell, it was embarrassing how obvious he was.
Serena fell silent, sensing Zan’s inattention even before she noted the way his eyes had gone all fuzzy and unfocused.
“Er, sorry,” Zan muttered, sitting up and laying his book across his lap. Hormones, he’d decided already, sucked. And all it took was one damn look. Or the way she sucked at her bottom lip while she looked at him all worried and… damn it! “You were sayin’…” he prodded angrily. She was almost thirteen, for fuck’s sake. Weren’t girls supposed to mature faster than boys?
Serena blinked and then decided to ignore his bad mood, this was too interesting to be sidetracked. “Wormholes. I was watchin’ Deep Space Nine…”
“Deep Space Nine? That thing wit the Cardassians?” Zan asked, his brows drawn together in confusion. “Since when do you go for the SciFi crap on TV?” Watching TV with her had stopped being worth it cuz all she did was point out any logical inconsistency she could think of. And she could think of a million. “Course, I kinda like the Cardassians,” he admitted.
“I ain’t su’prised,” Serena waved a hand dismissively. “Ain’t about the story, it’s the science. They act’ally got a certain amount a legitimate theory behind it. Listen t’ this…”
Zan nodded every few minutes, the cadence of her voice easing his restlessness even though he hadn’t a damn clue what she was actually saying. Didn’t matter either. All he cared about was that she was happy. And they were finally away from that last house. Safe, that was the important thing. And as long as they followed Bill’s rules, he’d promised not to hand in an ‘unhealthily attached’ report to the social workers. Zan knew nobody understood their connection. Hell lately he was pretty damn confused by ithimself. But there was no fuckin’ way he’d let anyone interfere with it, either. Easing back against the bean bag he’d flopped into, Zan let his shoulder settle against Serena’s. It wasn’t the first time they’d set up shop next to one another, and it wasn’t the first time they’d fallen against each other this way either, but it was the first time he felt what his presence was doing to her. Zan sat up straight and turned to look at her, eyes wide in sudden accusation.
Serena fell silent. “What?” she demanded. Lately it had been getting harder and harder to read Zan, as if sometimes he didn’t want her to know what he was feeling. Course, she admitted guiltily there were times when she sure as hell didn’t want him to know what she was feeling. God, it was embarrassing. And thrilling, and horrifying… and if he kept staring at her like that she was taking off, no questions asked.
Zan ignored her question, focusing instead on the hard pounding of her heart. He smiled slowly, feeling amazingly better now that he knew he wasn’t the only one going through hell. “I make your heart go all crazy, huh?” he asked.
Serena gasped, her eyes wide. And then she moved to stand up, determined to make good on her nonverbal threat to leave. But he grabbed her hand and pulled her back down. She opened her mouth and then closed it again when she realized how close they were now. It’s not like they’d never been that close before. So why was her stomach doing flip-flops? Why did it feel like the first time?
“You ain’t eva gotta run from me, you know that,” Zan said softly, refusing to let go of her wrist. The contact kept their connection live and he knew he’d never be able to do what he was about to do if he couldn’t feel how much she wanted it.
Serena nodded, feeling the strange new fullness of their connection. As if there was a whole nother side to it that they hadn’t even touched on yet. But they were gonna, she just knew it. “I know,” she whispered, her tongue darting out to wet her suddenly dry lips. “I wasn’ runnin’ ‘xactly…I just din’t know…” She smiled, feeling the echo of his heartbeat in the rush of blood pounding through her veins. “I can make your heart all crazy, too.”
“I know.”
“You do?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Took you long enough,” Serena huffed.
Zan grinned, touching her lips briefly with his own before he pulled away. He met her eyes for a second, sensing something he’d never felt before, something he couldn’t yet define but wanted to feel again. He couldn’t resist. Leaning in once more, Zan pressed his lips to Serena’s half convinced he’d never felt anything so soft in his life. And it wasn’t just her lips. God! How many times had he hugged her? Where the fuck had his brain been this whole time?
Serena swallowed hard, closing her eyes against the sweetness of her first kiss. Their first kiss. There were so many firsts that should have belonged to them, so many sweet moments that should have followed. But ‘should of’s’ belonged in the land of make believe. Serena knew too well the reality that had actually followed. “Makes me wish… God, Zan it makes me wish so many things,” she whispered, realizing she’d just been betrayed by her own memory. She gave a short, bitter laugh. He didn’t need to push her to remember the end, she’d done it to herself.
It was amazing how one moment out of time could still have such an effect on him. Zan could almost smell that faintly musty, library smell. He’d hated it at first, hated that she found such sanctuary anywhere but in his company. But he hadn’t been able to begrudge her haven for long. Hell, even after he’d left her, he’d found himself searching out libraries all over the city, seeking that same peace for himself. And though he’d never found exactly that same feeling, libraries were a damn site better than the fuckin’ sewer he called home. Safe, cool in the summer and warm in the winter. And so quiet. They were the only answer to the screeching trains which daily ran over his sanity. And, he admitted in the deepest silence of his soul, they reminded him of her. Serena hadn’t worn perfume then, she still didn’t, but the scent of a library, the promise of the endless knowledge they all contained, always brought him back to her eyes. Even now he couldn’t escape those eyes, or their plea, though he refused to give in to it. “If wishes were horses…” Zan sighed, running a frustrated hand back and forth through his spiked hair.
Blinking a little at the quote, Serena studied Zan with raised brows.
“What?” Zan demanded askance. “I do know howta read. Hada do sumthin while you got lost in all that shit,” he muttered, waving a hand in the general direction of their stilled memory.
Serena slanted him a look from underneath her lashes. “Yeah but what the fuck was you readin’?” she teased with a grin.
Zan shook his head. “You’re a snob, ya know that. An in’allectual snob.”
“Ain’t my fault I was born wit a superior intelligence,” Serena retorted with an innocent shrug.
“Yeah? So why ain’t you caught on to the obvious yet?” Zan demanded softly, sensing an opening. He reached out and took hold of her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Time for you ta listen ta me.”
“Did that once,” Serena shot back, wrenching her face from his harsh grip. “Look what happened.”
Zan glared, his back stiff as he straightened away from her. “Yeah? So what you gonna do now, genius?” And he was gone, leaving the echo of his voice to mock her.
Serena blinked, the angry blaring of the horn behind her forcing her mind back to the present. “Great,” she muttered. She was fuckin’ dreaming about her memories and remembering her dreams. Jesus, she was losin’ it! And why the fuck couldn’t she find a place to eat? Taking a deep breath, she brought her temper back under control and stopped at the sign, silently considering her options. Maybe she ought to just head back to the McDonald’s on the highway. It’s what she’d done yesterday. Back when Zan wasn’t bein’ such an ass and she was still feelin’ guilty for ending up in the one place he’d always wanted to avoid. No use feelin’ guilty now, she thought bitterly. She was here and there was nothin’ he could do about it. Mentally flipping a coin, Serena turned right onto Main St. It sounded promising. There had to be a McDonald’s or at the very least a Burger King or a… Jesus fuckin’ Christ, she thought, slamming on the brakes. Talk about alien central.
The Golden Arches, it wasn’t, Serena admitted, unable to stop the grin that tugged at her lips. She thought that living in NY had shown her just about every kinda freak you could imagine but this was just… beyond. She couldn’t help but stare at the flying saucer protruding from the top of the restaurant. Zan just had to see this. He’d fuckin’… The thought stopped her amusement cold, and left her glaring at the UFO. She really was losin’ it.
Serena jumped, torn from her dark thoughts by the blast of a horn behind her. She raised her middle finger at the other driver absently and quickly pulled the Eldo into a spot in front of the diner. If she was lucky, the burgers wouldn’t be in the shape of alien heads, though she’d bet real money the chicken nuggets were shaped like stars. Not that it mattered, everything tasted like cardboard anyway. Her attention shifted suddenly as she glanced across the street. Jesus, talk about beatin’ a dead horse!
Eyes narrowed on the stenciled advertisement on the window, Serena considered the UFO Center.
Come Inside for the Truth about the Crash
View Authentic Alien Artifacts.
Brody Davis, Proprietor
Chewing at the inside of her cheek, she thought about the possibilities. She didn’t have anything Rath would be looking for, but what if they did? What if that was why he was coming to Roswell? After all, if she were to believe Ava, they had been following him all along. It was a long shot and she knew it, but Serena couldn’t take the chance she was wrong. If Rath wanted something she was gonna get to it first. Serena crossed the street quickly, mindful enough of the traffic to stop in the middle of the street and wait as a blonde in a jetta flew past. She slipped easily amongst the throng of people walking by the building, caually scoping out the place and noting the name of the Security Company. Then she re-crossed to the Eldo. Fuck the food, she needed a library.
**************
“Tourists are idiots!” Maria fumed, storming into the back room of the Crashdown. “She’s lucky she’s not a hood ornament.”
“Who?” Michael asked, looking up from the grill.
“The idiot that practically jumped in front of my car. I mean, if someone’s suicidal, fine, but do you have to travel all the way to Roswell to do the deed?”
Michael paused, spatula in mid-air. “Maria, you didn’t actually hit someone, did…”
“Of course I didn’t hit anyone,” Maria bit out. “What do you think I am?” she questioned, rolling her eyes in frustration as she headed into the bathroom to change.
Michael shrugged, turning back to his burger. “I’ve driven with you,” he muttered.
“I heard that,” Maria called from the bathroom
Liz ignored the familiar bickering, her eyes on her AP Chemistry book. Finals were in a few weeks and she had a lot of studying to make up for, considering her year long preoccupation. Not to mention the added benefit of focusing on the Periodic Table of the Elements, instead of the image of Max and Tess leaving for God knows where, together, after school. Almost growling her frustration Liz slammed her book shut and headed for the front. It was supposed to be like this, she reminded herself, taking a deep breath. And Max was taking things slow, so really… really she had one more year after this so there was no way to avoid seeing them. Not until she left for college. And then… God, then she wouldn’t see him at all. It was a strangely paralyzing thought. In just a couple of years she wouldn’t have any reason to see Max at all. If she left, which was the plan and…basically she was screwed no matter how she looked at it. And she thought this day couldn’t get worse. Ducking under Maria’s narrowed gaze Liz grabbed her pad from the counter and headed to the nearest booth. “Welcome to the Crashdown, I’m Liz can I take your order?”
“I know who you are Parker,” Sean said dryly, smiling at Liz’s distraction.
Liz blinked. “Oh, hey Sean, I was just…”
“Someplace else?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, speaking of someplace else, what are you doing for dinner tonight?”
Liz held up her pad. “Helping to feed the hungry masses.”
“Oh. Right, well, what about tomorrow, or whenever you're free?”
“Sean, really, I don’t…” Liz paused. Maybe this was the best thing. It would help keep her mind off everything she didn’t want to think about anyway. She’d have to get on with her life eventually… Sooner or later. And, she suddenly decided, sooner was better than later. It was a good idea. A sound plan. Really.
Sean sighed. “Right, maybe some other…”
“No, you know what? Dinner sounds good. Let me just check the schedule and I’ll let you know.”
“Check, you, yeah! No, that’s great.”
“Right,” Liz smiled, giggling a little over Sean’s surprised stuttering. Her smile faded as she remembered the way Max used to…do something I have no intention of thinking about, she told herself sternly. Sighing, she started to walk away and then stopped. “Oh, did you want…”
Sean grinned. “Got what I wanted. Gimme a call when you know what day’s good.”
“Sure, I will. Yeah.” Liz watched Sean leave, wishing he’d taken a little longer. She could feel Maria glaring a hole through her back.
“Ok. What the hell was that?” Maria demanded in disgust.
“That was me making a…date,” Liz replied with a nonchalant shrug.
Maria crossed her arms over her chest. “Uh-huh. With my cousin. Who is even more undateable than Michael.”
“Hey! I heard that.” Michael piped up from the pass through. He rolled his eyes when Maria turned to glare. “Order,” he announced, dinging the bell before heading quickly back to the grill.
“I’ll get it,” Liz said brightly, trying to move past her best friend, but the other girl remained planted directly in her path. “What do you want me to do, huh? Sit around and pine? And cry? And be pathetic? Huh? I can, you know, if you really want me to?” Liz snapped out, feeling angry tears sting the back of her eyes. She took a deep breath, forcing the wave of emotion back. “I can’t just sit still and watch my own life anymore. I need to do… something.”
Maria’s expression softened. “Yeah, but Liz…this?” she asked gently. “Are you sure you want to jump into dating someone else, particularly my cousin, when you’ve only just…”
“It’s been months, Maria,” Liz pointed out.
“Only technically,” Maria countered softly. “I know you and I just don’t want to see you get hurt again, like you did…”
Liz sighed tiredly. Why was it no one seemed to understand? “Nothing will ever hurt like that again, Maria, so don’t worry about me, ok? If I don’t do this…” she shrugged sadly, bravado lost in the reality she’d always known was unavoidable. “I just feel like, if I don’t move forward now, I never will. And I can’t stay in this moment, Maria, I can’t.”
“Liz…”
“And I don’t want to talk about it ok? Not now.” She glanced up as the bell above the front door rang, signaling more customers. She sighed heavily. “We’d better…”
Maria nodded. “Yeah. Liz, just…you don’t have to talk about it now, but…when you’re ready, I’m here.”
“Thanks.”
“What are friends for?” Maria asked, with a smile, forcing it to stay in place when Liz rallied with her own.
“Apparently not delivering food.”
Maria swallowed hard. “Hi, Mr. P. Yeah, I was just gonna go get that.”
“Good plan,” Jeff observed dryly. He turned to his daughter, his eyes narrowing as he studied her face. “Lizzie, are you…”
“Fine dad.” Liz pointed at the group of kids heading into the restaurant. “Customers,” she said, making her getaway.
Right. Jeff’s eyes narrowed on his daughter’s back as she bustled around the restaurant, taking orders and looking almost happy. Almost. He hadn’t imagined the pain in her eyes a moment ago, or the sadness that had seemed a permanent part of her all year. Something was…
“Order!”
“I heard you the first time!”
“So why’s it still sittin’ here?”
Sighing heavily, Jeff turned to what he had begun to refer to as his very own dinner theater. “Hey, can we cut down just a little on the theatrics tonight?” he asked, pinning Maria with a look that let her know he didn’t buy her innocent expression for a minute. “And you can wipe that look off your face, Michael, I mean you too,” he said, not bothering to look over his shoulder at the cook. He shook his head. Sometimes it felt like he was parenting his staff not managing them. He went into the back, hearing Michael and Maria start up again as soon as they thought he was out of ear shot. “It’s gonna be a long night.”
Last edited by Pathos on Tue Oct 07, 2003 6:45 pm, edited 8 times in total.
The fact that we are fools is duly noted...
But must that be our epitaph?
-SRC
I'd be an idiot if I weren't less than pleased about being doomed.
- Warren Zevon
But must that be our epitaph?
-SRC
I'd be an idiot if I weren't less than pleased about being doomed.
- Warren Zevon
- continued from previous post -
******************************
Where do I take this pain of mine
I run but it stays right by my side
So tear me open and pour me out
There's things inside that scream and shout
And the pain still hates me
So hold me until it sleeps
Michael sang under his breath, bobbing is head in time with the music as he wondered why Maria and Liz had chosen this song in accordance to the Great Music Compromise of 2001. He smirked. They may not admit it but he was pretty sure Metallica was growing on them. As the song faded, however, Michael realized that the music wasn’t coming from the front of the Crashdown but rather from a car driving by. Ni-ice system, he thought. “That doesn’t count as my song,” he called to the girls before continuing his mini-concert a cappella.
So tear me open but beware
There's things inside without a care
And the dirt still stains me
So wash me until I'm clean
It grips you so hold me
It stains you so hold me
It hates you so hold me
It holds you so hold me
A minute later, Michael stilled as the music returned.
It holds you, holds you, holds you until it sleeps
Don't want it want it want it want it want it no
So tear me open but beware
There's things inside without a care
And the dirt still stains me
So wash me till I'm clean
Michael cocked his head, wondering at the car’s return. As if someone were circling the block. He stiffened slightly, wondering if…and then he shook his head. Lost, he decided. Tourists circled the block all the time. Though they weren’t usually this loud. Shrugging, he went back to work, using his spatula to tap out the beat against the grill.
Now tear me open make you gone
No longer will you hurt anyone
And the hate still shapes me
So hold me until it sleeps
“Michael…Michael!” Maria shook her head when her boyfriend looked up at her, blinking in surprise. “Spaceboy, please leave the singing…or whatever that is, to me,” she smirked, clapping Michael lightly on the shoulder.
“James Hetfield is a god,” Michael announced, huffing a little as he pulled his girlfriend closer, careful to avoid leaning back into the still-warm grill.
Maria rolled her eyes. “Whatever,” she glanced over her shoulder, sighing heavily as the band in question blasted from the street. “Guess there’s at least one other person in Roswell who shares your bad taste in music,” she teased, leaning into him.
Michael sighed. “This is what I get for dating a lesser lifefo..ow!” he rubbed his arm, hiding a grin at Maria’s outraged expression. “Resorting to violence is…”
“…necessary when dealing with the compulsively moronic,” Maria interrupted, turning on her heel and heading for the front of the restaurant. “Hurry up, will you? I’d like to get home tonight.
“Uh-huh,” Michael replied absently, his mind already back on his task. He listened as Until it Sleeps played seamlessly into King Nothing, a sentimental favorite of his. The music was cut off abruptly though, leaving a heavy silence in its wake. He shrugged. Maybe their girlfriend had no taste either.
*********************************
Liz grunted a little as she hauled the trash to the bin behind the Crashdown. Finally, she thought. Finally, this ridiculous night was over. She wasn’t even going to try studying, she was simply going to go straight to…
“Liz!”
“Omigod! I..I have mace,” Liz called backing away from the whispered voice toward the restaurant. Why the hell hadn’t she actually brought the mace? This was why her father hung it by the door in the first place.
“I have powa’s,” Ava smirked, moving from the shadows towards Liz. “What, cornball, no hug?”
Liz’s brows drew together in confusion, what was Tess… and then her jaw dropped as she spotted the pink in the other girls straight blonde hair. “Ava?” she asked in disbelief. “What are you… Omigod!” she exclaimed pulling the other girl into a quick hug.
Ava rolled her eyes, hugging Liz back. It was still hard to believe that this chick was for real, but as tired as she’d looked just a moment ago, Ava could tell that the warmth of her hug was real. She hoped it would last once she told her everything. “So, cornball,” she muttered.
“So sue me,” Liz said, stepping back. “You look…” pretty much like you did when you were here last time, she finished silently. She’d hoped that Ava would find herself and some peace wherever it was she’d headed when she left, but if the shadows under her eyes were any indication… “Something’s wrong, isn’t it?”
Ava sighed. “Points ta you. Yeah, somethin’s wrong. We should go inside. This is big.”
*****************************
Serena glanced around the deserted street and then walked casually to the side of the building, careful to stay as close to the UFO Center as possible, her dark outfit blending easily with the shadows just as she’d intended. Not that she had to bother, really. It wasn’t even midnight and there wasn’t a soul on the street. Not that she should be surprised, considering this cornball metropolis. The whole damn town was probably snug in their beds, she thought, vaguely amazed that their crime rate hadn’t gone through the roof. Not that any criminal worth their lock pick would bother with this place. Reaching the back door, Serena studied the security keypad.
“Ok, Mista Davis, Proprietor, let’s see how predictable you are,” Serena muttered, keying in his daughter’s birthday. Nope. His. Nope. Ex wife. Nope. Serena chewed the inside of her cheek unconsciously. Two more tries before the alarm went off, according to the Knight Security website she’d hacked. She paused, a small smile lighting her features as the answer hit her. 122300. Serena smiled as she keyed in the numbers. Her smile widened into a grin as the light blinked green. The day his daughter’s cancer was cured. How sweet. “Open sesame.” Serena whispered, pushing open the door. Didn’t even have to resort to using her powers. God bless the internet, she thought. And God bless all those do-gooding reporters who liked to cover ‘Human Interest’ stories.
******************************
Isabel sighed heavily. “So, Alex didn’t say whether he was coming by later?”
Maria smirked, careful to turn her back first. Phase One of Thaw the Ice Princess was well in hand and Isabel was melting hook, line and sinker… or something like that. Anyway… “Nope. He wasn’t sure what his plans were tonight. He was just gonna play it by ear after band practice,” Maria replied with an innocent shrug.
Isabel’s shoulders slumped. “Oh,” she sighed, glancing around the restaurant with bored disinterest. “I’m going to go to the restroom and then I’m going home.”
Maria nodded, watching her prey’s retreat in the reflection in the glass of the front window.
Michael rolled his eyes at the by-play, slapping his bandana against his thigh and glancing absently out the front window of the Crashdown. Great, he’d finally finished up and now he’d have to wait for Maria to finish making Isabel crazier than she already was. He sat up straighter, looking more closely at the UFO Center when a movement from he corner of his eye caught his attention. He cocked his head, eyes narrowing on the slim figure in black. What the hell? He watched curiously as the small girl shoved her long, curly hair over her shoulder, securing it in a loose ponytail before heading around to the side of the UFO Center and disappearing from view. Michael blinked. “Someone’s breaking into the building,” he muttered in surprise.
Maria turned to stare at her boyfriend. “What are you talking about?”
“A girl… she just made sure it was all clear and then headed for the back door,” Michael replied, standing up.
“Michael wait,” Maria grabbed his arm when it looked like he was going to go head out the door. “What girl? Did it ever occur to you that maybe she should be there? Or maybe…”
“Maria, it wasn’t anyone that works there. And,” Michael continued, holding up a hand, certain of her next objection. “it’s no one from school. I’m gonna go check it out.”
“Wait… ok, well, are you sure it’s no one from school. You’re hardly ever there, maybe you missed…”
Michael rolled his eyes. “Trust me, she’s not from around here,” he shrugged, giving in to Maria’s raised brows. He held his hand up about chest high. “She’s small, dark curly hair… thin.”
“That’s your description?” Maria asked in disbelief. “Michael that could be anybody.”
“What does it matter?” Michael snapped in exasperation. He didn’t like this. The only reason to break into the UFO Center was to find out stuff about Max. And Maria was right. It could be anybody, anybody like the FBI, for example. “Stay here,” he ordered.
Maria gasped. “Excuse me?” The back door opened, slamming into the stopper and Maria turned quickly toward the sound. “Liz! Get in here. And Isabel, will you hurry up in the bathroom? Michael’s decided he’s James…” She turned back, only to find Michael already outside and heading across the street. “Bond,” she finished darkly.
“Maria, what’s the matter?” Liz asked, hurrying to the front of the restaurant with Ava at her heels.
Ava looked around the room, half expecting to see Serena causing… whatever Maria was bitching about.
“Michael thinks he saw someone breaking into the UFO Center,” Maria said with a roll of her eyes.
Liz blinked. “Who’d want to break into the UFO Center?”
Maria shrugged. “Apparently some girl, about your height with dark curly hair.”
Ava felt her stomach lurch. Damn it! Serena was supposed to wait. Ava shook her head, she shoulda known the other girl had stopped listening to her the second she realized they weren’t going to meet Rath. She sighed tiredly. And then she noticed Michael’s absence. “Where’s Michael?”
Maria blinked at the blonde she’d only just noticed. “What are you doing here?” she asked suspiciously.
“Long story. Where’s Michael?” Ava asked again.
“Why do you care?” Maria gave in to Liz’s pointed look and shrugged. “He went across the street to play hero.”
Ava’s eyes widened. For one brief instant she froze. And then she bolted for the door. “We gotta get ova there.”
“Why?” Liz asked, her ponytail swinging as she followed Tess’s dupe out the door.
“She’s gonna kill him.”
Maria’s jaw dropped. “What?” she gasped. “Who?”
Ava glared over her shoulder, grateful that there was no traffic as she headed across the street. “Long story,” she muttered, hurrying toward the building.
Maria glared at Ava’s back. “I am really beginning to hate that answer.”
************************
“Ok, Mista Davis….where’da ya keep the good stuff?” Serena muttered to herself. She rounded a corner and gasped, falling back against the wall at the sight of the armed guard…the unmoving armed guard. Mannequin. Just a fuckin’ mannequin. Exhaling slowly Serena moved toward the main room, feeling her unease grow as she took in the displays. The aliens lying among the wreckage of the crash and the…autopsy. Closing her eyes, Serena swallowed bile and forced herself to ignore the stark image tugging with morbid insistence at her memory. Clenching her jaw, she forced herself to move around the displays. “It ain’t real. None a this is real,” she muttered under her breath as she forced herself not to turn on the lights. No sense drawin’ attention. Even in this rinky-dink town.
Shaking herself back into the present, Serena headed for the stairs she’d only just noticed. Brody Davis was a collector. Collectors kept things away from the public but they never allowed their prizes too far from their sight. Not only was the upstairs room a logical place to hide something valuable, it would also get her the hell outta these half-assed museum displays. Reaching the landing, Serena winced as the floorboards creaked under her weight.
Waving a hand over the locked door, she let herself in, half closing it behind her just in case. It smelled like a library, she thought, inhaling lightly, her discomfort settling a little as she glanced around the strangely ordinary archive. Too easy, she told herself, unable to resist at least looking at the books littering the shelf. Among Us? Serena snorted. If Atherton only knew. Not enough security, she decided with a sigh. And too much dust…unless that was just what he wanted intruders to think. Narrowing her gaze, Serena reviewed the layout of the room, looking for possible hiding places.
Crack. “Ow. Fuck.”
Serena froze. The crunching of the wood, probably from the balsa wood fence in the crash display, and the whispered curse alerted her to the fact that someone else was in the building. She flattened herself against the wall beside the door and glanced through the crack.
Rath.
This was too damn good to be true, Serena thought, feeling her power surge forcefully against her palm. Her entire body humming with sudden purpose, Serena forced herself not to make any stupid moves. She waited until he’d inched past the stairs, heading slowly toward the main stairs. She slid quickly out the door, skipping the creaking floorboard and heading stealthily down the stairs. Keeping her steps soft, Serena focused on Rath’s broad back as she followed him, her fury building as he continued to remain completely unaware of her presence. As if she were fucking unimportant. As if he didn’t care about what he’d done to her. Probably didn’t.
But he would.
************************
Michael paused, feeling an odd prickling along the back of his neck. He felt almost as if someone were watching him, as if the air around him was alive and crackling with venom. He stopped. The soft pad of footsteps behind him didn’t.
Whirling around, Michael half raised his hand, grateful for the comforting rush of power through his system even as he confronted the girl he’d been following in the first place. Her own hand was raised, her stance challenging as she waited him out in silence. He raised his chin, bristling at her arrogance. Hell, she was even smaller than he’d originally guessed. Did she really think she was gonna take him? “What are you doing here?”
“Oddly enough, lookin’ for you.”
Michael snorted. “You another Michael worshiper? I’m touched,” he knew he’d confused her briefly but then she shrugged, uncaring.
“Not yet. But you will be.”
Eyes darting over the girl’s shoulder at the sound of approaching feet, Michael shrugged. “I got a girlfriend,” he stalled, raising his hand higher, his fingers spreading wide in odd imitation of her own small hand, while he fought to ignore the sudden feeling of vulnerability. It was her eyes, he decided. There was a look of hatred so intense on her face that Michael was momentarily stunned. Not even Hank had looked at him like that.
“You don’t even rememba me, do ya?”
“I don’t know you,” Michael’s eyes narrowed, her disgusted snort putting him even more on edge.
“Idiot. But I guess long term mem’ry is a higha brain function. You ain’t neva been any good wit them.”
Michael shook his head, his temper sparking at her condescension. “Look…”
“You do rememba Zan, don’tcha?”
“Zan?” Michael took a step forward, vaguely surprised when the girl before him didn’t even flinch at holding her ground. “Who are you?” he demanded angrily. And what the hell did she have to do with Max’s past life?
“Consida me your truck.”
Michael’s brows furrowed in confusion. “What are you…whoa!”
**********************************
“Serena, NO!” Ava shouted. Too late. She was always too fuckin’ late!
Liz stared. Serena? The name echoed through her brain and she stared from Ava to the girl who was supposed to become a friend of hers. The girl who’d just released enough power to…
“MICHAEL!”
Liz, felt her stomach clench painfully as Maria screamed Michael’s name. The warm tenor of Future Max’s voice rang in her ears, competing with Ava’s shrill tone. Biting her lip, she watched Michael and Serena face off. She shielded her eyes briefly as the energy between the two combatants snapped loudly in the frozen silence, roaring to furious life until Liz could feel the warmth of it against her face. She shivered as tendrils of her hair got caught in the heat of the unnatural breeze. “Duck,” she whispered.
Maria tore her horrified gaze from Michael to glance at her friend. “What?”
“Duck!”
************************
Serena stared in shocked fury as her power blast met Rath’s and hung, suspended, between them. What were the odds? Something in the area of 6.5 billion to one, her tired brain calculated. Which didn’t matter, considering that this was the one fucking time!
Even still, it was strangely fascinating and Serena couldn’t help but watch as their power met and meshed with a ferocious roar, sparking and snarling into one tangled, static mess of energy. From far away she heard Ava scream ‘no’, and then the other blonde called him… Michael? She shoved the inconsistency to the back of her mind, deciding it was unimportant as she focused instead in the implosion occurring right before her eyes. An unstoppable force meeting an immovable object, her mind whispered, reminding her of a time when she would have wanted to repeat the experiment just to see if she could make it happen again. Now though, she just wanted it out of her way. She locked eyes with Rath through the burning haze, thrown briefly by the confusion so clear on his face. He wasn’t even posturing. Which wasn’t like him. Serena shook her head, forcing her sudden doubts aside. She was too close. He wasn’t getting away, not when she was so fucking close!
Serena blinked, her attention drawn back to their energy sphere. The deep, rumbling crack that let loose at the initial contact was nothing compared to the combusted flare of angry energy as it attempted to burn itself out. The mass curled in on itself, dissipating as energy was pulled into the center of the sphere. For a moment she thought it was going to disappear. Good. Except it wasn’t. Because even as her power gathered against her fingers, readying for another blow, Serena was met by the shockwave that exploded outward as the volatile mix of her energy and Rath’s flung itself into oblivion, blinding her with its intensity and silently stealing the breath from her lungs with the force of its impact.
******************************
Isabel sighed heavily, glancing around the restaurant and then freezing. She felt almost like she had the day when everyone in Roswell had disappeared. The bandana Michael had been toying with was lying on the table closest to the front door, and the keys were still in the lock. “Um, guys? Hello?” She glanced out the window as a lone car sped down the street, its presence a calming reminder that everything was normal, or as normal as it got in Roswell. Ok, not everyone had disappeared. Just her friends. Her brows drew together in confusion. What was it Maria had said about Michael being James Bond?
Glancing across the street, Isabel saw a bright light explode behind the windows of the UFO Center. Appearing and disappearing with all the intensity and speed of a flash of lightning. And then it was gone, leaving the night dark and silent.
******************************
Where do I take this pain of mine
I run but it stays right by my side
So tear me open and pour me out
There's things inside that scream and shout
And the pain still hates me
So hold me until it sleeps
Michael sang under his breath, bobbing is head in time with the music as he wondered why Maria and Liz had chosen this song in accordance to the Great Music Compromise of 2001. He smirked. They may not admit it but he was pretty sure Metallica was growing on them. As the song faded, however, Michael realized that the music wasn’t coming from the front of the Crashdown but rather from a car driving by. Ni-ice system, he thought. “That doesn’t count as my song,” he called to the girls before continuing his mini-concert a cappella.
So tear me open but beware
There's things inside without a care
And the dirt still stains me
So wash me until I'm clean
It grips you so hold me
It stains you so hold me
It hates you so hold me
It holds you so hold me
A minute later, Michael stilled as the music returned.
It holds you, holds you, holds you until it sleeps
Don't want it want it want it want it want it no
So tear me open but beware
There's things inside without a care
And the dirt still stains me
So wash me till I'm clean
Michael cocked his head, wondering at the car’s return. As if someone were circling the block. He stiffened slightly, wondering if…and then he shook his head. Lost, he decided. Tourists circled the block all the time. Though they weren’t usually this loud. Shrugging, he went back to work, using his spatula to tap out the beat against the grill.
Now tear me open make you gone
No longer will you hurt anyone
And the hate still shapes me
So hold me until it sleeps
“Michael…Michael!” Maria shook her head when her boyfriend looked up at her, blinking in surprise. “Spaceboy, please leave the singing…or whatever that is, to me,” she smirked, clapping Michael lightly on the shoulder.
“James Hetfield is a god,” Michael announced, huffing a little as he pulled his girlfriend closer, careful to avoid leaning back into the still-warm grill.
Maria rolled her eyes. “Whatever,” she glanced over her shoulder, sighing heavily as the band in question blasted from the street. “Guess there’s at least one other person in Roswell who shares your bad taste in music,” she teased, leaning into him.
Michael sighed. “This is what I get for dating a lesser lifefo..ow!” he rubbed his arm, hiding a grin at Maria’s outraged expression. “Resorting to violence is…”
“…necessary when dealing with the compulsively moronic,” Maria interrupted, turning on her heel and heading for the front of the restaurant. “Hurry up, will you? I’d like to get home tonight.
“Uh-huh,” Michael replied absently, his mind already back on his task. He listened as Until it Sleeps played seamlessly into King Nothing, a sentimental favorite of his. The music was cut off abruptly though, leaving a heavy silence in its wake. He shrugged. Maybe their girlfriend had no taste either.
*********************************
Liz grunted a little as she hauled the trash to the bin behind the Crashdown. Finally, she thought. Finally, this ridiculous night was over. She wasn’t even going to try studying, she was simply going to go straight to…
“Liz!”
“Omigod! I..I have mace,” Liz called backing away from the whispered voice toward the restaurant. Why the hell hadn’t she actually brought the mace? This was why her father hung it by the door in the first place.
“I have powa’s,” Ava smirked, moving from the shadows towards Liz. “What, cornball, no hug?”
Liz’s brows drew together in confusion, what was Tess… and then her jaw dropped as she spotted the pink in the other girls straight blonde hair. “Ava?” she asked in disbelief. “What are you… Omigod!” she exclaimed pulling the other girl into a quick hug.
Ava rolled her eyes, hugging Liz back. It was still hard to believe that this chick was for real, but as tired as she’d looked just a moment ago, Ava could tell that the warmth of her hug was real. She hoped it would last once she told her everything. “So, cornball,” she muttered.
“So sue me,” Liz said, stepping back. “You look…” pretty much like you did when you were here last time, she finished silently. She’d hoped that Ava would find herself and some peace wherever it was she’d headed when she left, but if the shadows under her eyes were any indication… “Something’s wrong, isn’t it?”
Ava sighed. “Points ta you. Yeah, somethin’s wrong. We should go inside. This is big.”
*****************************
Serena glanced around the deserted street and then walked casually to the side of the building, careful to stay as close to the UFO Center as possible, her dark outfit blending easily with the shadows just as she’d intended. Not that she had to bother, really. It wasn’t even midnight and there wasn’t a soul on the street. Not that she should be surprised, considering this cornball metropolis. The whole damn town was probably snug in their beds, she thought, vaguely amazed that their crime rate hadn’t gone through the roof. Not that any criminal worth their lock pick would bother with this place. Reaching the back door, Serena studied the security keypad.
“Ok, Mista Davis, Proprietor, let’s see how predictable you are,” Serena muttered, keying in his daughter’s birthday. Nope. His. Nope. Ex wife. Nope. Serena chewed the inside of her cheek unconsciously. Two more tries before the alarm went off, according to the Knight Security website she’d hacked. She paused, a small smile lighting her features as the answer hit her. 122300. Serena smiled as she keyed in the numbers. Her smile widened into a grin as the light blinked green. The day his daughter’s cancer was cured. How sweet. “Open sesame.” Serena whispered, pushing open the door. Didn’t even have to resort to using her powers. God bless the internet, she thought. And God bless all those do-gooding reporters who liked to cover ‘Human Interest’ stories.
******************************
Isabel sighed heavily. “So, Alex didn’t say whether he was coming by later?”
Maria smirked, careful to turn her back first. Phase One of Thaw the Ice Princess was well in hand and Isabel was melting hook, line and sinker… or something like that. Anyway… “Nope. He wasn’t sure what his plans were tonight. He was just gonna play it by ear after band practice,” Maria replied with an innocent shrug.
Isabel’s shoulders slumped. “Oh,” she sighed, glancing around the restaurant with bored disinterest. “I’m going to go to the restroom and then I’m going home.”
Maria nodded, watching her prey’s retreat in the reflection in the glass of the front window.
Michael rolled his eyes at the by-play, slapping his bandana against his thigh and glancing absently out the front window of the Crashdown. Great, he’d finally finished up and now he’d have to wait for Maria to finish making Isabel crazier than she already was. He sat up straighter, looking more closely at the UFO Center when a movement from he corner of his eye caught his attention. He cocked his head, eyes narrowing on the slim figure in black. What the hell? He watched curiously as the small girl shoved her long, curly hair over her shoulder, securing it in a loose ponytail before heading around to the side of the UFO Center and disappearing from view. Michael blinked. “Someone’s breaking into the building,” he muttered in surprise.
Maria turned to stare at her boyfriend. “What are you talking about?”
“A girl… she just made sure it was all clear and then headed for the back door,” Michael replied, standing up.
“Michael wait,” Maria grabbed his arm when it looked like he was going to go head out the door. “What girl? Did it ever occur to you that maybe she should be there? Or maybe…”
“Maria, it wasn’t anyone that works there. And,” Michael continued, holding up a hand, certain of her next objection. “it’s no one from school. I’m gonna go check it out.”
“Wait… ok, well, are you sure it’s no one from school. You’re hardly ever there, maybe you missed…”
Michael rolled his eyes. “Trust me, she’s not from around here,” he shrugged, giving in to Maria’s raised brows. He held his hand up about chest high. “She’s small, dark curly hair… thin.”
“That’s your description?” Maria asked in disbelief. “Michael that could be anybody.”
“What does it matter?” Michael snapped in exasperation. He didn’t like this. The only reason to break into the UFO Center was to find out stuff about Max. And Maria was right. It could be anybody, anybody like the FBI, for example. “Stay here,” he ordered.
Maria gasped. “Excuse me?” The back door opened, slamming into the stopper and Maria turned quickly toward the sound. “Liz! Get in here. And Isabel, will you hurry up in the bathroom? Michael’s decided he’s James…” She turned back, only to find Michael already outside and heading across the street. “Bond,” she finished darkly.
“Maria, what’s the matter?” Liz asked, hurrying to the front of the restaurant with Ava at her heels.
Ava looked around the room, half expecting to see Serena causing… whatever Maria was bitching about.
“Michael thinks he saw someone breaking into the UFO Center,” Maria said with a roll of her eyes.
Liz blinked. “Who’d want to break into the UFO Center?”
Maria shrugged. “Apparently some girl, about your height with dark curly hair.”
Ava felt her stomach lurch. Damn it! Serena was supposed to wait. Ava shook her head, she shoulda known the other girl had stopped listening to her the second she realized they weren’t going to meet Rath. She sighed tiredly. And then she noticed Michael’s absence. “Where’s Michael?”
Maria blinked at the blonde she’d only just noticed. “What are you doing here?” she asked suspiciously.
“Long story. Where’s Michael?” Ava asked again.
“Why do you care?” Maria gave in to Liz’s pointed look and shrugged. “He went across the street to play hero.”
Ava’s eyes widened. For one brief instant she froze. And then she bolted for the door. “We gotta get ova there.”
“Why?” Liz asked, her ponytail swinging as she followed Tess’s dupe out the door.
“She’s gonna kill him.”
Maria’s jaw dropped. “What?” she gasped. “Who?”
Ava glared over her shoulder, grateful that there was no traffic as she headed across the street. “Long story,” she muttered, hurrying toward the building.
Maria glared at Ava’s back. “I am really beginning to hate that answer.”
************************
“Ok, Mista Davis….where’da ya keep the good stuff?” Serena muttered to herself. She rounded a corner and gasped, falling back against the wall at the sight of the armed guard…the unmoving armed guard. Mannequin. Just a fuckin’ mannequin. Exhaling slowly Serena moved toward the main room, feeling her unease grow as she took in the displays. The aliens lying among the wreckage of the crash and the…autopsy. Closing her eyes, Serena swallowed bile and forced herself to ignore the stark image tugging with morbid insistence at her memory. Clenching her jaw, she forced herself to move around the displays. “It ain’t real. None a this is real,” she muttered under her breath as she forced herself not to turn on the lights. No sense drawin’ attention. Even in this rinky-dink town.
Shaking herself back into the present, Serena headed for the stairs she’d only just noticed. Brody Davis was a collector. Collectors kept things away from the public but they never allowed their prizes too far from their sight. Not only was the upstairs room a logical place to hide something valuable, it would also get her the hell outta these half-assed museum displays. Reaching the landing, Serena winced as the floorboards creaked under her weight.
Waving a hand over the locked door, she let herself in, half closing it behind her just in case. It smelled like a library, she thought, inhaling lightly, her discomfort settling a little as she glanced around the strangely ordinary archive. Too easy, she told herself, unable to resist at least looking at the books littering the shelf. Among Us? Serena snorted. If Atherton only knew. Not enough security, she decided with a sigh. And too much dust…unless that was just what he wanted intruders to think. Narrowing her gaze, Serena reviewed the layout of the room, looking for possible hiding places.
Crack. “Ow. Fuck.”
Serena froze. The crunching of the wood, probably from the balsa wood fence in the crash display, and the whispered curse alerted her to the fact that someone else was in the building. She flattened herself against the wall beside the door and glanced through the crack.
Rath.
This was too damn good to be true, Serena thought, feeling her power surge forcefully against her palm. Her entire body humming with sudden purpose, Serena forced herself not to make any stupid moves. She waited until he’d inched past the stairs, heading slowly toward the main stairs. She slid quickly out the door, skipping the creaking floorboard and heading stealthily down the stairs. Keeping her steps soft, Serena focused on Rath’s broad back as she followed him, her fury building as he continued to remain completely unaware of her presence. As if she were fucking unimportant. As if he didn’t care about what he’d done to her. Probably didn’t.
But he would.
************************
Michael paused, feeling an odd prickling along the back of his neck. He felt almost as if someone were watching him, as if the air around him was alive and crackling with venom. He stopped. The soft pad of footsteps behind him didn’t.
Whirling around, Michael half raised his hand, grateful for the comforting rush of power through his system even as he confronted the girl he’d been following in the first place. Her own hand was raised, her stance challenging as she waited him out in silence. He raised his chin, bristling at her arrogance. Hell, she was even smaller than he’d originally guessed. Did she really think she was gonna take him? “What are you doing here?”
“Oddly enough, lookin’ for you.”
Michael snorted. “You another Michael worshiper? I’m touched,” he knew he’d confused her briefly but then she shrugged, uncaring.
“Not yet. But you will be.”
Eyes darting over the girl’s shoulder at the sound of approaching feet, Michael shrugged. “I got a girlfriend,” he stalled, raising his hand higher, his fingers spreading wide in odd imitation of her own small hand, while he fought to ignore the sudden feeling of vulnerability. It was her eyes, he decided. There was a look of hatred so intense on her face that Michael was momentarily stunned. Not even Hank had looked at him like that.
“You don’t even rememba me, do ya?”
“I don’t know you,” Michael’s eyes narrowed, her disgusted snort putting him even more on edge.
“Idiot. But I guess long term mem’ry is a higha brain function. You ain’t neva been any good wit them.”
Michael shook his head, his temper sparking at her condescension. “Look…”
“You do rememba Zan, don’tcha?”
“Zan?” Michael took a step forward, vaguely surprised when the girl before him didn’t even flinch at holding her ground. “Who are you?” he demanded angrily. And what the hell did she have to do with Max’s past life?
“Consida me your truck.”
Michael’s brows furrowed in confusion. “What are you…whoa!”
**********************************
“Serena, NO!” Ava shouted. Too late. She was always too fuckin’ late!
Liz stared. Serena? The name echoed through her brain and she stared from Ava to the girl who was supposed to become a friend of hers. The girl who’d just released enough power to…
“MICHAEL!”
Liz, felt her stomach clench painfully as Maria screamed Michael’s name. The warm tenor of Future Max’s voice rang in her ears, competing with Ava’s shrill tone. Biting her lip, she watched Michael and Serena face off. She shielded her eyes briefly as the energy between the two combatants snapped loudly in the frozen silence, roaring to furious life until Liz could feel the warmth of it against her face. She shivered as tendrils of her hair got caught in the heat of the unnatural breeze. “Duck,” she whispered.
Maria tore her horrified gaze from Michael to glance at her friend. “What?”
“Duck!”
************************
Serena stared in shocked fury as her power blast met Rath’s and hung, suspended, between them. What were the odds? Something in the area of 6.5 billion to one, her tired brain calculated. Which didn’t matter, considering that this was the one fucking time!
Even still, it was strangely fascinating and Serena couldn’t help but watch as their power met and meshed with a ferocious roar, sparking and snarling into one tangled, static mess of energy. From far away she heard Ava scream ‘no’, and then the other blonde called him… Michael? She shoved the inconsistency to the back of her mind, deciding it was unimportant as she focused instead in the implosion occurring right before her eyes. An unstoppable force meeting an immovable object, her mind whispered, reminding her of a time when she would have wanted to repeat the experiment just to see if she could make it happen again. Now though, she just wanted it out of her way. She locked eyes with Rath through the burning haze, thrown briefly by the confusion so clear on his face. He wasn’t even posturing. Which wasn’t like him. Serena shook her head, forcing her sudden doubts aside. She was too close. He wasn’t getting away, not when she was so fucking close!
Serena blinked, her attention drawn back to their energy sphere. The deep, rumbling crack that let loose at the initial contact was nothing compared to the combusted flare of angry energy as it attempted to burn itself out. The mass curled in on itself, dissipating as energy was pulled into the center of the sphere. For a moment she thought it was going to disappear. Good. Except it wasn’t. Because even as her power gathered against her fingers, readying for another blow, Serena was met by the shockwave that exploded outward as the volatile mix of her energy and Rath’s flung itself into oblivion, blinding her with its intensity and silently stealing the breath from her lungs with the force of its impact.
******************************
Isabel sighed heavily, glancing around the restaurant and then freezing. She felt almost like she had the day when everyone in Roswell had disappeared. The bandana Michael had been toying with was lying on the table closest to the front door, and the keys were still in the lock. “Um, guys? Hello?” She glanced out the window as a lone car sped down the street, its presence a calming reminder that everything was normal, or as normal as it got in Roswell. Ok, not everyone had disappeared. Just her friends. Her brows drew together in confusion. What was it Maria had said about Michael being James Bond?
Glancing across the street, Isabel saw a bright light explode behind the windows of the UFO Center. Appearing and disappearing with all the intensity and speed of a flash of lightning. And then it was gone, leaving the night dark and silent.
The fact that we are fools is duly noted...
But must that be our epitaph?
-SRC
I'd be an idiot if I weren't less than pleased about being doomed.
- Warren Zevon
But must that be our epitaph?
-SRC
I'd be an idiot if I weren't less than pleased about being doomed.
- Warren Zevon
Hello Party People!
Just a quick flyby post...
First, sorry it took so long for me to get this next part done. It's that old road to hell and good intentions thingy.
Anyhoo - Just wanted to let everyone know that I truly appreciate the FB. And, as always, must thank Michelle in Yonkers for all her hard work in the typing department. Can ya'll imagine how long it would take to get a part out if I didn't have her around?
Alright, gonna just get to it soooooooooo, here ya go. Hope you like and I'll be back as soon as I can.
Pathos
**********from Part 12*************
… it was strangely fascinating and Serena couldn’t help but watch as their power met and meshed with a ferocious roar, sparking and snarling into one tangled, static mess of energy. From far away she heard Ava scream ‘no’, and then the other blonde called him… Michael? She shoved the inconsistency to the back of her mind, deciding it was unimportant as she focused instead in the implosion occurring right before her eyes. An unstoppable force meeting an immovable object, her mind whispered, reminding her of a time when she would have wanted to repeat the experiment just to see if she could make it happen again. Now though, she just wanted it out of her way. She locked eyes with Rath through the burning haze, thrown briefly by the confusion so clear on his face. He wasn’t even posturing. Which wasn’t like him. Serena shook her head, forcing her sudden doubts aside. She was too close. He wasn’t getting away, not when she was so fucking close!
Serena blinked, her attention drawn back to their energy sphere. The deep, rumbling crack that let loose at the initial contact was nothing compared to the combusted flare of angry energy as it attempted to burn itself out. The mass curled in on itself, dissipating as energy was pulled into the center of the sphere. For a moment she thought it was going to disappear. Good. Except it wasn’t. Because even as her power gathered against her fingers, readying for another blow, Serena was met by the shockwave that exploded outward as the volatile mix of her energy and Rath’s flung itself into oblivion, blinding her with its intensity and silently stealing the breath from her lungs with the force of its impact.
******************************
Isabel sighed heavily, glancing around the restaurant and then freezing. She felt almost like she had the day when everyone in Roswell had disappeared. The bandana Michael had been toying with was lying on the table closest to the front door, and the keys were still in the lock. “Um, guys? Hello?” She glanced out the window as a lone car sped down the street, its presence a calming reminder that everything was normal, or as normal as it got in Roswell. Ok, not everyone had disappeared. Just her friends. Her brows drew together in confusion. What was it Maria had said about Michael being James Bond?
Glancing across the street, Isabel saw a bright light explode behind the windows of the UFO Center, appearing and disappearing with all the intensity and speed of a flash of lightning. And then it was gone, leaving the night dark and silent.
********************Part 13********************
Cal Langley stepped from the limo and headed for his front door, more than grateful to have left the thick humidity of the rain forest behind. Next time, he told himself, the goddamn set would be built on a soundstage. There was absolutely no reason for him to be trekking through God’s Country just because some stupid director demanded authenticity! He flipped the light on in the foyer and dropped his suitcase by the door. And furthermore…
“I would have thought you’d prefer being closer to your charges.”
Langley’s head snapped around in surprise as the soft, modulated voice wafted in from his living room. He stepped back toward the door, instincts, lain dormant for too long warning him too late of the danger. The door slammed shut behind him, stealing his escape as he raised one hand in self defense. “Who…”
“Nice place, though,” Zeijahra remarked, disdainfully ignoring the shapeshifters threat as she allowed her eyes to once again roam the rich trappings of his living room. “You have commendable taste.”
“I have a decorator,” Langley snapped, the show of temper a vain attempt to mask his sudden agitation. “Who are you and what are you doing here?” he asked, backing up as the woman unfolded her long legs from the couch and stood, her movements slow and graceful as she took the first step towards him. His breathing quickened as she moved relentlessly from the shadows of the living room, the bright light of the foyers’ chandelier reflecting in the dark mirrors of her eyes. “Who are you?” he demanded.
“Zeijahra Shi-Ligh,” she said, offering a mocking bow to the underling.
Langley nodded slowly, taking another step back to maintain their distance, though the name implied she was an ally. Maybe. “Why should I believe you?” Aside from the fact that she was clearly telling the truth, he thought a little wildly. Everything in her bearing clearly pointed to Antarian Royalty, and her deep auburn hair was an almost sure sign of the Shi-Ligh blood. “Prove it,” he growled. The truth didn’t mean nearly as much as most people gave it credit for.
Ziejahra’s eyes narrowed on her prey. “You might consider showing the proper respect to your betters, shapeshifter. But I will allow the offense,” she decided magnanimously. “For the moment.” Unconcerned by the effect of her words, Zeijahra did as the impertinent protector had asked.
Langley stared, shocked not by the transluscent genetic stamp she called forth as her proof, but rather at the shadowed remnants of the Shi-Ligh Crest. Talora. In Zahn’s court such a perversion of her family’s name would have been grounds for trial, if not outright execution for treason. Light years from Court, light years from any authority but hers it was a stark reminder of his isolation. And his vulnerability. “What do you want?” he asked again, his voice strained.
“That depends on you. You received a signal earlier,” Zeijahra waited for Langley’s stiff nod and then continued, “I want the information I requested.” She sighed in impatient exasperation at the shapeshifter’s confused expression then coldly clarified her request. “I want everything you have on the King.”
************************
Max sighed heavily and let his head drop back against the Valenti’s couch. Was it too much to ask for a flaming asteroid to fall from the sky and put him out of his misery? Apparently, he concluded wryly, looking out the window into the dark perfection of the night sky. Not an asteroid in sight. Which, he supposed, was a good thing since it would be fatally counterproductive to save the world from alien invasion only to wish it blown to bits by rogue, planet eating asteroids.
Half-convinced he could feel the beginnings of an ulcer gnawing at his stomach, Max closed his eyes, and wished wholeheartedly for this night to be over. Time to invest in ruby slippers, he decided with another sigh. Shifting uncomfortably on what was, essentially, Kyle’s bed, he continued waiting for Tess to return from her room with the book she’d mentioned. Glancing at his watch, Max realized that he was coming dangerously close to his newly imposed curfew. He didn’t want to be late since he was pretty sure his parents were serious about grounding him if he…was…late.
Biting his lip a little, Max studied the door to Tess’ room from a new perspective. Take your time, he thought at her, happily ignoring the voice of his conscience as it railed against putting off the inevitable. Seconds later, the uneasy restlessness that had been pulling at his consciousness for the last few minutes had him checking his watch once again. Maybe it was the stillness of the night which seemed ominous instead of gentle, but he was beginning to feel hopelessly cornered. He needed to get out of here. The sooner the better.
Exhaling sharply, Max pushed himself from the couch, absently pacing to the living room window as his strange anxiety ate away at the peacefulness of the night. This is ridiculous, he reminded himself. He’d eaten meals with Tess before, studied with her, and enjoyed her company before…said goodbye safely and gone home before. Tonight wasn’t really all that different, was it?
Scratch that, Max thought tiredly. He didn’t want to think about exactly what was different tonight. Particularly because it involved Sheri…er, Valenti, who’s just-within-earshot presence had been conspicuous all night, suddenly leaving to give him and Tess some time to say good bye. What kind of parent did that, Max thought a little desperately, uncomfortably aware that a handshake, or even his usual wave would probably be an unacceptable way to end tonights…date.
Max chewed uneasily at his lower lip, his frustration growing the longer Tess’ door stayed shut. Years with Isabel had taught him the futility of trying to rush a girl, but what the hell could she be doing in there that would be taking so long? Resigned, he admitted that it was a stupid question. Because, unfortunately, he was all too aware of what she was doing in there. Tess wasn’t looking for a book, she was ‘freshening up’. The knowledge filled him with sudden dread. It had been so easy to simply ignore everything they’d both left unsaid, to forget that… that tonight was the first night of the rest of his life.
Hello, Destiny, he thought bitterly, staring out the window into the bleak darkness of the night. Even the stars seemed muted somehow, echoing the heaviness weighing against his soul. Shoving away from the window, Max prowled the perimeter of the room, his restlessness only growing. Something was wrong. This was wrong. He couldn’t escape that conclusion, or the sheer futility of it. This may have been wrong, but apparently it was also necessary. Dragging a hand through his hair, Max angrily cursed his future self for bringing that to anyone’s attention. But his silent show of temper did nothing to ease the steadily rising distress, and he had the uneasy feeling that nothing ever would.
He needed to get out of here.
“You still here?”
Max blinked the Valenti living room back into focus, his gaze narrowing on Kyle’s strangely petulant features. “I’m waiting for Tess,” he replied, nodding back at the bedroom.
“You could be here a while,” Kyle said, settling pointedly on the couch.
“Yeah.” Max agreed tersely, barely registering the other guys presence as he found himself in the sudden grip of a cold panic. He needed to get out of here. Forcing a deep breath into his lungs, he considered Kyle silently as it occurred to him that Valenti might be the unlikely answer to his prayers.
“No. Whatever it is, no.”
Max closed his mouth, his brows drawing together in frustrated confusion over the mulish expression on Kyle’s face. He didn’t have time for this! “Look I need to get out of here. If I’m late, I’m dead,” he rushed out, grateful for the excuse.
Kyle shrugged with cavalier disinterest, feeling a ridiculous sense of accomplishment at making something difficult for Max-everything-and-everyone-I-want-falls-at-my-feet-Evans. “Not my problem, man.”
Max’s angry retort was cut off by the shrill ringing of his cell. Turning his back on Kyle he glanced absently at the face of his phone. The fact that it was Isabel’s number displayed by the caller ID didn’t even register. “Liz?”
************************
Liz groaned, her entire body heavy and uncooperative as she tried to push herself up onto her knees. She fell before she was even halfway up, rolling quickly onto her back to avoid the burning pain that flared intensely against her side. It caught her breath in her throat, focusing her fuzzy thoughts with sharp demand. Oh, God that hurt! She screwed her eyes shut, whimpering a little over the strange buzzing hum that seemed to fill the UFO Center. Or maybe it was just her head, she thought, deciding she wasn’t quite ready to try getting up again. Just another minute, she told herself, holding her breath until the pain receded. OK, now… or maybe now…
Taking quick, shallow breaths, Liz forced her eyes open and immediately shrank back from the alien pilot grinning down at her. It slid slowly from the smashed cockpit of the UFO replica swinging back and forth above her. Curling away from the alien, Liz cried out as the stuffed mannequin hit her, the return of the stabbing pain making it almost impossible for her to catch her breath. Dimly she recognized that she needed to move. When that ship fell, - and if the ominous whine of that last wire were any indication, it was going to fall - it was going to hit a lot harder than the mannequin. Cursing Brody for hanging the stupid thing from the ceiling in the first place, Liz rolled onto her stomach and then up onto her knees so she could crawl out from under the ship, only to find herself frozen in shock.
Shaking her head, Liz ignored the pain tightening around her ribs and searched through the garish red emergency lights for any sign of life. But all she saw was destruction as she stared at what used to be the main room of the UFO Center. It was almost as if some sort of EMP had gone off, leveling everything, shattering glass displays and knocking over most of the free standing walls. Dimly, she wondered where the Crash display had ended up. Or the…God! There wasn’t one thing on the main level of the museum still standing. Including her friends.
Holding her breath, Liz rose carefully to her feet, biting her lip to swallow her sob as she cradled her side and looked around. The first thing she saw was Ava leaning uncertainly over Serena, her hand pressed against the other girls neck, presumably searching for a pulse. And then the blonde sat back, her features twisted with fear as she stared at her hand. The dim light flooding the UFO Center wouldn’t allow Liz to make out the color, but she knew that the wetness covering the tips of Ava’s fingers had to be blood.
The sharp crack of the crashing ship sounded like thunder through the silence of the room, and Liz jumped, closing her eyes as her vision swam with nausea-inducing fuzziness. Swallowing hard, Liz opened her eyes and noticed Ava leaning protectively over Serena. She studied them silently, wondering how long they’d been friends.
Raising her head at the sound of the crash, Ava breathed a small sigh of relief when she noticed Liz. “She’s bleedin’, Liz. Bad. I dunno…I can’t…” she stuttered, grateful that someone else was up and moving around.
Liz stumbled towards the other two girls, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from crying out as the movement sent pain lancing once again through her side.
“Liz, I don’t know…” Maria leaned over the other girl, shaking her head grimly over Serena’s injuries, then glanced over her shoulder at Max. “I can’t do anything for her,” she finished when he remained silent.
Tucking his hair behind his ear, Max shifted closer to Serena’s prone form, studying her pensively, his hand hovering uncertainly over her forehead. “Liz, you know how much she hates it when I’m even around her, and you know as well as I do that she wouldn’t want me to…”
Liz shook her head firmly, shoving the bangs out of her eyes in a gesture of irritation. “Max, we need her.”
Liz choked out a cough, her lungs burning with the breath she’d been holding as her vision swam once again, this time with the déjà vu that suddenly chilled her soul. That never happened, her mind cried out in confusion. She shook her head, hoping to clear it but unable to lose the memory of something that never happened. Through her haze the warm, rich tone of Max’s voice echoed dully through her mind, trying to explain something that remained inexplicable.
Serena said...she's gonna be a friend of yours one day.
“Liz?” Ava glanced up at the other girl, wondering at the odd blankness of her expression. “Liz! Are you ok?”
“Yeah.” Liz swallowed hard, shaking her head slowly in an attempt to focus her vision, seeing much the same thing as she had before. The sight of so much blood left a deep sense of unease shrouding her spirit. Serena couldn’t die. Liz couldn’t explain it, but she knew that whatever else happened, Serena couldn’t die. “We need Max,” she whispered, almost to herself. “We need Max to fix this.”
Ava nodded. “Ok, but …” she gestured, vaguely at the blood pooling under Serena’s head. This was a mistake, this whole thing was a mistake. She never should have come here, never should have joined up with Serena in the first place. “Whatta we do ‘til then?” she whispered.
“Here,” Liz said, untying her apron and handing it to Ava. “You need to…to put direct pressure…”
“Ok, but what ‘bout Max? Should we…I dunno, call him…maybe?” Ava prodded when Liz continued to stare down at the two of them, her expression distant. She lifted Serena’s head and held the silver apron against the base of her skull, where most of the blood seemed to be coming from. She glanced up at Liz when the other girl didn’t answer her, wondering if maybe she was going into shock herself.
Liz bit her lip, watching as the blood, made darker in the extreme lighting, soaked into the fabric of the apron. “He’ll be here,” she finally whispered
“Uh-huh. Are you…”
“Shhh!” Liz ordered, searching through the dim interior of the room, as she tried to place the weeping that was suddenly echoing through the stillness. “Maria?” she called quietly, unwilling for some reason to disturb the hushed quality of the moment. Narrowing her eyes she searched the shadows for her best friend and finally found her leaning over something on the museum’s main stairs. Her heart lurched painfully when she realized it was a body. Oh God. Michael… “Maria is he…”
“Liz I don’t think…I don’t think he’s breathing right. And he won’t wake up,” Maria whispered through her tears, touching Michael’s face hesitantly. Maybe it was her imagination but he seemed cold, suddenly. Cold wasn’t good, was it? Maybe it was for aliens but she didn’t think so. “What do I do, Liz tell me what to do?” she demanded, her voice shrill and panicked. Oh God, this was bad, this was really, really bad.
“Ok, Maria we need to stay calm, we took CPR…” Liz began, moving painfully to Maria’s side.
“I only passed that class because I cheated off of Alex,” Maria snapped, looking over her shoulder at her friend. “We need to do something, I just, I don’t…”
Liz stared down at Michael. He looked…broken, and strangely small lying there, his head twisted painfully on the stairs. “Ok, ok, we just need to, um…check for a pulse and, and then his airway and, and…” And why the hell can’t I remember that stupid health class, Liz wondered desperately, I studied.
“I did that…he has a pulse but his breathing sounds…wrong.”
“Right,” Liz agreed softly. Michael’s breathing did sound wrong, wet almost, as if he were choking. On blood, she thought a little hysterically. The pain in her side throbbed angrily as her breathing quickened in rising panic. Liz closed her eyes, shocked to find the reassurance she so desperately needed begin to steal through her soul. “Ok, Maria, listen to me, do not flip out. It’s gonna be ok.” It had to be ok, she could feel it, and right now that was enough. Probably a concussion she decided a little hysterically, clinging to the feeling anyway.
Maria’s brows furrowed in angry confusion. “What do you mean it’s ‘gonna to be ok’? Liz, this is not ok!” she bit out, allowing herself one quick glance at her friend, before she returned her attention to Michael. “How do you even know that?” she demanded, stroking her fingers lightly through his hair, almost afraid to touch him for fear of making it worse.
“Max is on the way, we just need to give him a minute, ” Liz pointed out absently. Max is on the way and everything’s going to be fine, she repeated to herself. She glanced over at Ava and saw her standing up, watching Serena as if the girl on the floor had grown another head. “Just try not to move his neck too much,” she instructed wondering what Ava’s problem was.
Maria nodded, ignoring the impulse to ask Liz how the hell she knew Max was on the way. She didn’t care as long as he showed up. “Ok. Ok, but Liz…”
“Everything is going to be fine,” Liz said firmly, looking up as Isabel made her way cautiously into the room.
“What…what happened?” Isabel whispered, her hand dropping back to her side after a quick survey of the room let her know that whoever had done this wasn’t going to be jumping out at her.
“She tried to kill Michael,” Maria explained mournfully.
“Oh my God!” Isabel breathed out, blanching when she finally noticed Michael’s body lying on the stairs. She rushed past Ava, barely recognizing her presence, and dropped down next to Maria, feeling out of place when the other girl didn’t immediately relinquish her position at Michael’s side. Isabel opened her mouth and then closed it again when Maria’s tearful expression finally registered. She took a deep breath and placed one hand awkwardly on the smaller girls shoulder. “Max is on the way,” she said softly, glaring up at Liz as she nodded back to Ava. “What’s she doing here, anyway? And why’d she try to kill him? And why…”
Liz shook her head. “I don’t… she was about to tell me and then…”
“And then she tried to kill Michael,” Isabel finished, turning her glare on Ava. Her brows drew together in angry confusion when she realized that the other alien was standing over someone else, completely oblivious to their conversation.
“No, she didn’t.” Liz murmured, following Isabel’s gaze and wondering why Ava was looking so shell shocked. “Serena did.”
*****************
God-damn, her head hurt!
Serena took a deep breath, the oxygen doing little to clear the dizzying fog that seemed to envelope her senses. She felt removed from herself, removed from everything except… She opened her eyes, or rather, she wanted to, but she couldn’t see a thing. There was only a thick darkness mocking her with the shadow of Zan’s nearness, the strong echo of his presence across a connection that was suddenly working exactly as it should, exactly as it had…before. She wanted to call for him, but she was so afraid to wake from this dream. It was different than the others, more…
“I swear ta God you got more att’tude ‘en sense! What the fuck are you thinkin’ Serena?”
Shrugging, Serena tried to answer Zan’s exasperated frustration, but she couldn’t seem to make her voice work. And then it didn’t matter, because his fingers were wrapping around her upper arms, roughly pulling her against him, catching her breath in her throat at the well remembered spark.
Zan sighed heavily, his temper lost in the thick haze of pain he could feel dancing through her skull. “Alright, ok you’re gonna be fine now, we’ll fix it. Can you open your eyes?”
Serena burrowed closer, too content within the security of their full connection to answer the question. It was almost like it had never happened, like it had all been some nightmare and he was finally waking her to their reality. She didn’t want to look at him, didn’t want to open her eyes and see that this was just another dream.
“Serena, we don’t got time for this.” Zan chided softly, sliding his fingers through her hair and probing her wound as gently as possible. He bit back the pain that exploded in his own head when he found the damage at the base of her skull. He swallowed hard, his own vision spotty with the flare of bright lights behind closed lids as the pain became the only thing she was aware of. Zan gently shushed her whimper, hating that she was in such pain, hating that he was no longer certain he could do anything to fix it. “I’m sorry, baby, just gimme anotha minute…” he whispered, hating himself for the rush of joy he couldn’t stop. But it had been so long since she was this real in his embrace.
Serena sighed, her breathing falling into an easy rhythm as Zan gently eased the fractured agony that seemed to radiate through her entire being. But somehow the healing didn’t feel right, it wasn’t working right. She felt heavy and distant all at once, as if she were floating and her body hadn’t quite decided yet whether to sink or swim.
“Keep takin those deep breaths now, just gimme some time, let it work,” Zan instructed, easing her brief moment of panic. He understood it, remembered it from when he’d first felt it himself. Wasn’t her time, he reminded the cosmos, angrily throwing more of his energy into this half-assed healing.
Forcing her fear aside Serena did as he asked and was rewarded by the further twining of their souls. The warmth that filled her was so familiar, and so real it ached even as it healed. God, she wanted to stay here forever. Nothing else mattered but…she held her breath, confused by the strange stumbling as Zan paused for a moment to collect himself. That wasn’t right. She knew how bad her injury was, she could feel it through the immediacy of their connection, but he shouldn’t have to…her thoughts were cut short by his demand for her attention. She could feel him fading as he used the last of his energy on her, and her soul shuddered in the chill of his sudden weakness.
Struggling against his insistence, Serena pulled her own splintered power together. She was unable to control it, unable to force the healing, but she relaxed when she felt Zan absorbing it, using it, and conserving his own. She felt strangely naked as he turned her power against her, refining it as he healed her, shattering slowly as he strengthened her…slipping farther away.
Not enough, God, she wasn’t strong enough. Even their connection felt the strain, thinning to a gossamer thread she barely recognized from years ago and she whimpered against the sudden aching loneliness which hurt more than her head.
“Serena just let it…” Zan began, voice hoarse with the strain. He could feel the same strange instability that was frightening her. Hell, it frightened him, even after all this time. He’d known from the beginning it would come to this, it had to. But with the strength of her anguish fueling his own, that knowledge did nothing to ease his soul.
Shaking her head silently, Serena clung more tightly to Zan, threading her energy through the last of his even as he pushed her away, forcing her back as he slowly faded, becoming less substantial right before her eyes.
This wasn’t like the dreams. This was more, and it terrified her.
********************
Max pulled the jeep into one of the empty spaces alongside the Crashdown and slid from the vehicle, yanking the emergency brake into position as he stopped for a moment to stare across the street at the UFO Center. Isabel’s frantic description of explosions and flashing lights hadn’t prepared him for the…quiet. The entire street was completely quiet. And still. Too still. The night seemed to be holding its breath just as he was, and Max felt his anxiety ratchet up a notch, mixing with a strange anticipation that he didn’t understand. Briefly, he considered the back door, his common sense telling him that sneaking in might be the best way to go. Shrugging off the idea, he headed for the front door. Whatever was going to happen, already had. The silence was testament to that.
Though a quick glance up and down Main Street assured him that there was no one else outside, Max could almost feel a thousand sets of eyes against his back as he headed for the UFO Center. Which was paranoid, even by his standards. Especially considering the uncomfortable certainty that his enemies weren’t lurking in the shadows, but rather waiting for him inside. With everyone he cared about.
Taking a deep breath, Max covered the beeping keypad with his palm, ready to deactivate the alarm when the merrily flashing green light caught his attention. Already deactivated. The knowledge sent warning bells ringing through his brain even as he moved to accept the invitation, and slowly made his way inside. He was careful to stay close to the wall as he rounded the corner and hit the landing leading down into the main room…or what had once been the main room.
Max froze, staring down into a room he didn’t recognize, though he spent time in it almost every day. Whatever he’d expected to find, it wasn’t the silent chaos and the soft weeping that currently defined the UFO Center. Shocked, the only real thought his mind could form was that there was no way they were going to get this mess cleaned up before Brody came in for work in the morning.
The emergency lighting cast an ominous shadow over everything, making Max even more jumpy. Gripping the railing in one hand, and calling his shield up with the other, he searched the museum for something to explain the destruction. He was surprised to find Tess’ dupe staring down at someone else, twisting a dully shimmering, Crashdown alien head apron between her fingers. For half a second he thought that the shadowed figure lying on the floor might be Liz. It wasn’t, he knew it instinctively even before the panic hit his brain. I’d feel it if that were her, I’d know if something were wrong. The thought would have been comforting had it not been for the nagging anxiety that still insisted something was wrong.
Unerringly, Max’s eyes sought out Liz’s form, catching her gaze when she turned to look up at him. Her relief was almost palpable, but it was the pain he focused on as he rushed down the stairs, dismissing Ava as a threat. For the moment. “Liz, what…”
“It’s nothing,” Liz breathed out hurriedly, grateful that her voice at least sounded normal. “But Michael’s hurt. Bad. And, and Serena…” her thought remained unfinished as Max grabbed her forearm, keeping her from tipping over when the pain of her turning to meet him sent her off balance
Max’s brows drew together in confusion, a thousand questions raced through his mind, all of them lost as he pulled Liz to her feet before him. He felt her start at the immediate spark of awareness and caught her against himself when she stumbled a little, the flash of hot pain catching him off guard. It burned against his ribs, tugging desperately on his power, stroking through it and calling it to life without his conscious decision. His hand slid slowly down her forearm, lacing his fingers through her own and for a moment he forgot to breathe. He forgot everything but the almost frantic pressure of her fingers around his, clinging as tightly as he was.
Max could feel himself falling inward, aware of the warmth of his healing from a strange distance, and longing for the warmth of them which remained just out of reach. He barely gave a thought to the oddity of his power’s instinctive move to heal her, concentrating instead on the welcome shadow of their connection. Almost there. He could feel her soul waiting for his, and his for her, reaching to rekindle what they never should have walked away from. He could feel it, the temptation to let it unfurl, to let it surround them, cocoon them from the coldness of the world…
“Thank God, Max. Max!” Isabel burst out, standing and pulling Maria back a step. She snapped her fingers in her brother’s face when he didn’t move. “What’s the matter with you? You have to help him.”
Max stepped back quickly, exhaling slowly and mourning the instantaneous return to reality. He took a breath, recognizing in Liz the same vertigo that was currently racing through his body at the too abrupt severing of their connection. “I…what?” he asked, his voice sounding hoarse in his own ears.
“Michael,” Isabel ground out.
“Michael!” Giving himself a mental shake, Max forced his attention to the task at hand.
“He’s not breathing right,” Liz whispered, turning with him to look at Michael.
Nodding Max knelt beside Michael’s still form. He’d never seen him like this, not even after he’d been shot. Then at least he’d been so pissed about being hurt that it had taken some time to keep him still long enough to heal him. Not gonna be a problem this time, Max thought grimly, leaning down and gently shifting Michael’s body into a more natural position. He sought the injury as he did so, easily fusing the broken discs in Michael’s spine, repaired the ribs stabbing sharply into his lungs, even as he mended the delicate tears in the life-giving tissue, evaporating the blood pooling there, his own breath becoming ragged and heavy as Michael began struggling against unconsciousness on his own. With a gasp Max broke the connection completely and sat back, exhaustion shadowing his eyes as he stared at the guilty expression on Ava’s face.
Isabel stared, feeling even more out of place as Liz Parker sank down next to her brother, her hand still clasped firmly within his. He’d never let her go. The entire time he’d been healing Michael, he’d been clinging to Liz’s hand. Isabel’s eyes narrowed as she came to the inescapable conclusion that she was missing something. “Max, what…”
“What the hell was that?!” Michael demanded with a groan, forcing himself to sit up, and promptly losing his breath once again when Maria threw herself against his chest.
“That’s what I want to know,” Max muttered, his eyes focused on Tess’ doouble.
Dimly, Liz was aware that she needed to explain… something, but she found herself unable to focus, drifting instead through a strange warm/cold afterglow.
“Maria, I’m fine,” Michael muttered, trying to disentangle himself from Maria’s embrace.
“You weren’t a second ago!”
Rolling his eyes at Maria’s muffled exclamation, Michael stood up, pulling her with him. “Where is she?” he growled, glaring Ava into a two step retreat, before looking at Max. “That’s what happened,” he announced, pointing at the unconscious body on the floor. “She tried to kill me.”
Max raised his brows in surprise, his focus shifting to the small girl at Ava’s feet before glancing tiredly around the room. “She’s half your size, Michael, you’re saying she did all this?”
“She has powers, Max.”
“Serena,” Liz breathed, her jumbled thoughts falling back into focus. Standing quickly she tugged Max to his feet. “You’ve got to help her.”
“Who?” Max asked. “Liz, wait a second…did you just say Serena?” Falling silent, Max let Liz pull him to the other side of the room. “That Serena?” he whispered against her ear, looking down at the girl on the floor.
Suppressing the shiver that wanted to steal her focus, Liz forced a nod in answer to Max’s question. That was Serena. The one who had sent his future self back in time. The one who was supposed to be her friend. The one who had just tried to kill Michael. She knelt next to her, searching for and finding a pulse thrumming with surprising strength beneath her fingers. Gently pulling the apron from the wound, Liz moved out of Max’s way, motioning him forward. “She seems…”
“I think she’s ok,” Ava mumbled, backing up another step as the rest of the group followed Max and Liz across the room.
Liz shook her head. “Ava, she can’t be. There’s way too much blood.”
“I know but…I don’t know,” Ava muttered, looking away from Michael and Isabel’s respective glares.
“Liz, she’s right,” Max said, his brows furrowing in confusion over the blood beginning to matte Serena’s hair. Wrinkling his nose a little in unconscious distaste, he got rid of the elastic band and ran his fingers through her loose curls, ridding them of the sticky substance as he checked her skull again. Nothing. “There’s nothing wrong with her,” he repeated, holding a hand over the floor and erasing the blood from existence. The evidence they’d be forced to leave behind was bad enough.
“Are you sure?” Liz asked worriedly, staring at the bloody apron in her hand.
Max glanced briefly over his shoulder. “Yeah,” he drawled wryly. “I’m sure. There’s nothing wrong with her,” he mumbled, studying the unconscious girl with sharp curiosity. So this was the girl who’d sent him back in time to ruin his own life, he mused bitterly.
“Nothing physical anyway,” Michael muttered. “She did try to kill me,” he reminded them.
“Why?” Max asked, his brain racing with half formed answers and even more questions. Was she from the future? She looked to be about their age, and too innocent to be some sort of futuristic assassin. And why would someone come back in time to kill Michael? He looked up at his friend. “What did…”
“I didn’t do anything, ok?!” Michael bit out. “I followed her in here after she broke in. When I caught up with her, she said she was looking for me and then she tried to kill me!”
“It wasn’t you she was trying to kill,” Ava interjected quietly, uncomfortably aware that she was now the focus of everyone’s attention.
“Sure felt like it was me,” Michael shot back.
“She thought you was Rath. It’s him she wants ta kill.”
Max blinked, mulling over that piece of information. “Not that he’s my favorite person in the world, but why does she want to kill him?”
Ava shrugged uneasily, wondering what Max would do when he realized that she’d known all about what Rath had done before he left for the summit. Michael and Isabel sure as hell hadn’t been pleased. She was grateful when Liz rose to her feet and moved to stand next to her.
“Ava, it’s ok, just tell us what you know so we can figure out what happened.”
“And what to do with Ellen Ripley over there,” Michael muttered. ‘What?’ he mouthed, rolling his eyes and finally subsiding at Max’s sharp look.
“He killed Zan,” Ava replied, glancing uneasily at Max and then jerking her gaze back to Liz. Of the other people in the room, Liz was definitely the only one who seemed remotely sympathetic. “She wants him dead cuz he killed Zan.”
“So, what, that makes it ok for her to go after Michael?” Isabel asked coldly, her power surging angrily against her palm as she stared at the unconscious girl.
“She thought he was Rath,” Ava repeated. “She didn’ know…”
“He isn’t Rath,” Maria snapped, still not completely recovered from watching Michael almost blown away right before her eyes.
“Ok, but in her defense he does bear a striking resemblance to him,” Liz pointed out absently, becoming more and more worried by Max’s continued silence.
“And we’re defending her, why?” Maria retorted.
“I’m not, exactly, I’m just saying that we need to wait until she wakes up. We need her side of the story,” Liz murmured. We need to know what else she’s here for, we need to know if it has anything to do with Future Max or the granolith or…the invasion. She caught Max’s eye and knew he was thinking much the same thing, but the small shrug he offered let her know he wasn’t inclined to join in Serena’s defense
“She doesn’t get a side, look at this place!”
“Michael, come on, I don’t think she was trying to…”
“What, Liz? Destroy the UFO Center? You’re right she was trying to kill me.”
“Rath,” Ava corrected.
Michael glared, dismissing Liz and turning to look at Ava. “She’s been here all of what?”
“A… a few… days.” Ava stammered out, glancing briefly at Liz and then forcing herself to stand her ground.
Isabel glanced uneasily from her brother to Michael, growing more anxious when Max didn’t even respond to Michael’s growing temper. She wasn’t happy about this situation, but Michael blowing up wouldn’t help. “Michael, just calm…”
“Calm down? It’s bad enough that the Skins are out there, but now people who don’t even know us are trying to kill us!” He pinned Ava with a glare. “And I don’t care that she thought I was Rath.” Michael turned to glare at Max next. “Maxwell, are you ever planning on saying anything?”
“She’s waking up,” Max pointed out mildly.
*******continued in next post*********
Just a quick flyby post...
First, sorry it took so long for me to get this next part done. It's that old road to hell and good intentions thingy.
Anyhoo - Just wanted to let everyone know that I truly appreciate the FB. And, as always, must thank Michelle in Yonkers for all her hard work in the typing department. Can ya'll imagine how long it would take to get a part out if I didn't have her around? Alright, gonna just get to it soooooooooo, here ya go. Hope you like and I'll be back as soon as I can.
Pathos
**********from Part 12*************
… it was strangely fascinating and Serena couldn’t help but watch as their power met and meshed with a ferocious roar, sparking and snarling into one tangled, static mess of energy. From far away she heard Ava scream ‘no’, and then the other blonde called him… Michael? She shoved the inconsistency to the back of her mind, deciding it was unimportant as she focused instead in the implosion occurring right before her eyes. An unstoppable force meeting an immovable object, her mind whispered, reminding her of a time when she would have wanted to repeat the experiment just to see if she could make it happen again. Now though, she just wanted it out of her way. She locked eyes with Rath through the burning haze, thrown briefly by the confusion so clear on his face. He wasn’t even posturing. Which wasn’t like him. Serena shook her head, forcing her sudden doubts aside. She was too close. He wasn’t getting away, not when she was so fucking close!
Serena blinked, her attention drawn back to their energy sphere. The deep, rumbling crack that let loose at the initial contact was nothing compared to the combusted flare of angry energy as it attempted to burn itself out. The mass curled in on itself, dissipating as energy was pulled into the center of the sphere. For a moment she thought it was going to disappear. Good. Except it wasn’t. Because even as her power gathered against her fingers, readying for another blow, Serena was met by the shockwave that exploded outward as the volatile mix of her energy and Rath’s flung itself into oblivion, blinding her with its intensity and silently stealing the breath from her lungs with the force of its impact.
******************************
Isabel sighed heavily, glancing around the restaurant and then freezing. She felt almost like she had the day when everyone in Roswell had disappeared. The bandana Michael had been toying with was lying on the table closest to the front door, and the keys were still in the lock. “Um, guys? Hello?” She glanced out the window as a lone car sped down the street, its presence a calming reminder that everything was normal, or as normal as it got in Roswell. Ok, not everyone had disappeared. Just her friends. Her brows drew together in confusion. What was it Maria had said about Michael being James Bond?
Glancing across the street, Isabel saw a bright light explode behind the windows of the UFO Center, appearing and disappearing with all the intensity and speed of a flash of lightning. And then it was gone, leaving the night dark and silent.
********************Part 13********************
Cal Langley stepped from the limo and headed for his front door, more than grateful to have left the thick humidity of the rain forest behind. Next time, he told himself, the goddamn set would be built on a soundstage. There was absolutely no reason for him to be trekking through God’s Country just because some stupid director demanded authenticity! He flipped the light on in the foyer and dropped his suitcase by the door. And furthermore…
“I would have thought you’d prefer being closer to your charges.”
Langley’s head snapped around in surprise as the soft, modulated voice wafted in from his living room. He stepped back toward the door, instincts, lain dormant for too long warning him too late of the danger. The door slammed shut behind him, stealing his escape as he raised one hand in self defense. “Who…”
“Nice place, though,” Zeijahra remarked, disdainfully ignoring the shapeshifters threat as she allowed her eyes to once again roam the rich trappings of his living room. “You have commendable taste.”
“I have a decorator,” Langley snapped, the show of temper a vain attempt to mask his sudden agitation. “Who are you and what are you doing here?” he asked, backing up as the woman unfolded her long legs from the couch and stood, her movements slow and graceful as she took the first step towards him. His breathing quickened as she moved relentlessly from the shadows of the living room, the bright light of the foyers’ chandelier reflecting in the dark mirrors of her eyes. “Who are you?” he demanded.
“Zeijahra Shi-Ligh,” she said, offering a mocking bow to the underling.
Langley nodded slowly, taking another step back to maintain their distance, though the name implied she was an ally. Maybe. “Why should I believe you?” Aside from the fact that she was clearly telling the truth, he thought a little wildly. Everything in her bearing clearly pointed to Antarian Royalty, and her deep auburn hair was an almost sure sign of the Shi-Ligh blood. “Prove it,” he growled. The truth didn’t mean nearly as much as most people gave it credit for.
Ziejahra’s eyes narrowed on her prey. “You might consider showing the proper respect to your betters, shapeshifter. But I will allow the offense,” she decided magnanimously. “For the moment.” Unconcerned by the effect of her words, Zeijahra did as the impertinent protector had asked.
Langley stared, shocked not by the transluscent genetic stamp she called forth as her proof, but rather at the shadowed remnants of the Shi-Ligh Crest. Talora. In Zahn’s court such a perversion of her family’s name would have been grounds for trial, if not outright execution for treason. Light years from Court, light years from any authority but hers it was a stark reminder of his isolation. And his vulnerability. “What do you want?” he asked again, his voice strained.
“That depends on you. You received a signal earlier,” Zeijahra waited for Langley’s stiff nod and then continued, “I want the information I requested.” She sighed in impatient exasperation at the shapeshifter’s confused expression then coldly clarified her request. “I want everything you have on the King.”
************************
Max sighed heavily and let his head drop back against the Valenti’s couch. Was it too much to ask for a flaming asteroid to fall from the sky and put him out of his misery? Apparently, he concluded wryly, looking out the window into the dark perfection of the night sky. Not an asteroid in sight. Which, he supposed, was a good thing since it would be fatally counterproductive to save the world from alien invasion only to wish it blown to bits by rogue, planet eating asteroids.
Half-convinced he could feel the beginnings of an ulcer gnawing at his stomach, Max closed his eyes, and wished wholeheartedly for this night to be over. Time to invest in ruby slippers, he decided with another sigh. Shifting uncomfortably on what was, essentially, Kyle’s bed, he continued waiting for Tess to return from her room with the book she’d mentioned. Glancing at his watch, Max realized that he was coming dangerously close to his newly imposed curfew. He didn’t want to be late since he was pretty sure his parents were serious about grounding him if he…was…late.
Biting his lip a little, Max studied the door to Tess’ room from a new perspective. Take your time, he thought at her, happily ignoring the voice of his conscience as it railed against putting off the inevitable. Seconds later, the uneasy restlessness that had been pulling at his consciousness for the last few minutes had him checking his watch once again. Maybe it was the stillness of the night which seemed ominous instead of gentle, but he was beginning to feel hopelessly cornered. He needed to get out of here. The sooner the better.
Exhaling sharply, Max pushed himself from the couch, absently pacing to the living room window as his strange anxiety ate away at the peacefulness of the night. This is ridiculous, he reminded himself. He’d eaten meals with Tess before, studied with her, and enjoyed her company before…said goodbye safely and gone home before. Tonight wasn’t really all that different, was it?
Scratch that, Max thought tiredly. He didn’t want to think about exactly what was different tonight. Particularly because it involved Sheri…er, Valenti, who’s just-within-earshot presence had been conspicuous all night, suddenly leaving to give him and Tess some time to say good bye. What kind of parent did that, Max thought a little desperately, uncomfortably aware that a handshake, or even his usual wave would probably be an unacceptable way to end tonights…date.
Max chewed uneasily at his lower lip, his frustration growing the longer Tess’ door stayed shut. Years with Isabel had taught him the futility of trying to rush a girl, but what the hell could she be doing in there that would be taking so long? Resigned, he admitted that it was a stupid question. Because, unfortunately, he was all too aware of what she was doing in there. Tess wasn’t looking for a book, she was ‘freshening up’. The knowledge filled him with sudden dread. It had been so easy to simply ignore everything they’d both left unsaid, to forget that… that tonight was the first night of the rest of his life.
Hello, Destiny, he thought bitterly, staring out the window into the bleak darkness of the night. Even the stars seemed muted somehow, echoing the heaviness weighing against his soul. Shoving away from the window, Max prowled the perimeter of the room, his restlessness only growing. Something was wrong. This was wrong. He couldn’t escape that conclusion, or the sheer futility of it. This may have been wrong, but apparently it was also necessary. Dragging a hand through his hair, Max angrily cursed his future self for bringing that to anyone’s attention. But his silent show of temper did nothing to ease the steadily rising distress, and he had the uneasy feeling that nothing ever would.
He needed to get out of here.
“You still here?”
Max blinked the Valenti living room back into focus, his gaze narrowing on Kyle’s strangely petulant features. “I’m waiting for Tess,” he replied, nodding back at the bedroom.
“You could be here a while,” Kyle said, settling pointedly on the couch.
“Yeah.” Max agreed tersely, barely registering the other guys presence as he found himself in the sudden grip of a cold panic. He needed to get out of here. Forcing a deep breath into his lungs, he considered Kyle silently as it occurred to him that Valenti might be the unlikely answer to his prayers.
“No. Whatever it is, no.”
Max closed his mouth, his brows drawing together in frustrated confusion over the mulish expression on Kyle’s face. He didn’t have time for this! “Look I need to get out of here. If I’m late, I’m dead,” he rushed out, grateful for the excuse.
Kyle shrugged with cavalier disinterest, feeling a ridiculous sense of accomplishment at making something difficult for Max-everything-and-everyone-I-want-falls-at-my-feet-Evans. “Not my problem, man.”
Max’s angry retort was cut off by the shrill ringing of his cell. Turning his back on Kyle he glanced absently at the face of his phone. The fact that it was Isabel’s number displayed by the caller ID didn’t even register. “Liz?”
************************
Liz groaned, her entire body heavy and uncooperative as she tried to push herself up onto her knees. She fell before she was even halfway up, rolling quickly onto her back to avoid the burning pain that flared intensely against her side. It caught her breath in her throat, focusing her fuzzy thoughts with sharp demand. Oh, God that hurt! She screwed her eyes shut, whimpering a little over the strange buzzing hum that seemed to fill the UFO Center. Or maybe it was just her head, she thought, deciding she wasn’t quite ready to try getting up again. Just another minute, she told herself, holding her breath until the pain receded. OK, now… or maybe now…
Taking quick, shallow breaths, Liz forced her eyes open and immediately shrank back from the alien pilot grinning down at her. It slid slowly from the smashed cockpit of the UFO replica swinging back and forth above her. Curling away from the alien, Liz cried out as the stuffed mannequin hit her, the return of the stabbing pain making it almost impossible for her to catch her breath. Dimly she recognized that she needed to move. When that ship fell, - and if the ominous whine of that last wire were any indication, it was going to fall - it was going to hit a lot harder than the mannequin. Cursing Brody for hanging the stupid thing from the ceiling in the first place, Liz rolled onto her stomach and then up onto her knees so she could crawl out from under the ship, only to find herself frozen in shock.
Shaking her head, Liz ignored the pain tightening around her ribs and searched through the garish red emergency lights for any sign of life. But all she saw was destruction as she stared at what used to be the main room of the UFO Center. It was almost as if some sort of EMP had gone off, leveling everything, shattering glass displays and knocking over most of the free standing walls. Dimly, she wondered where the Crash display had ended up. Or the…God! There wasn’t one thing on the main level of the museum still standing. Including her friends.
Holding her breath, Liz rose carefully to her feet, biting her lip to swallow her sob as she cradled her side and looked around. The first thing she saw was Ava leaning uncertainly over Serena, her hand pressed against the other girls neck, presumably searching for a pulse. And then the blonde sat back, her features twisted with fear as she stared at her hand. The dim light flooding the UFO Center wouldn’t allow Liz to make out the color, but she knew that the wetness covering the tips of Ava’s fingers had to be blood.
The sharp crack of the crashing ship sounded like thunder through the silence of the room, and Liz jumped, closing her eyes as her vision swam with nausea-inducing fuzziness. Swallowing hard, Liz opened her eyes and noticed Ava leaning protectively over Serena. She studied them silently, wondering how long they’d been friends.
Raising her head at the sound of the crash, Ava breathed a small sigh of relief when she noticed Liz. “She’s bleedin’, Liz. Bad. I dunno…I can’t…” she stuttered, grateful that someone else was up and moving around.
Liz stumbled towards the other two girls, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from crying out as the movement sent pain lancing once again through her side.
“Liz, I don’t know…” Maria leaned over the other girl, shaking her head grimly over Serena’s injuries, then glanced over her shoulder at Max. “I can’t do anything for her,” she finished when he remained silent.
Tucking his hair behind his ear, Max shifted closer to Serena’s prone form, studying her pensively, his hand hovering uncertainly over her forehead. “Liz, you know how much she hates it when I’m even around her, and you know as well as I do that she wouldn’t want me to…”
Liz shook her head firmly, shoving the bangs out of her eyes in a gesture of irritation. “Max, we need her.”
Liz choked out a cough, her lungs burning with the breath she’d been holding as her vision swam once again, this time with the déjà vu that suddenly chilled her soul. That never happened, her mind cried out in confusion. She shook her head, hoping to clear it but unable to lose the memory of something that never happened. Through her haze the warm, rich tone of Max’s voice echoed dully through her mind, trying to explain something that remained inexplicable.
Serena said...she's gonna be a friend of yours one day.
“Liz?” Ava glanced up at the other girl, wondering at the odd blankness of her expression. “Liz! Are you ok?”
“Yeah.” Liz swallowed hard, shaking her head slowly in an attempt to focus her vision, seeing much the same thing as she had before. The sight of so much blood left a deep sense of unease shrouding her spirit. Serena couldn’t die. Liz couldn’t explain it, but she knew that whatever else happened, Serena couldn’t die. “We need Max,” she whispered, almost to herself. “We need Max to fix this.”
Ava nodded. “Ok, but …” she gestured, vaguely at the blood pooling under Serena’s head. This was a mistake, this whole thing was a mistake. She never should have come here, never should have joined up with Serena in the first place. “Whatta we do ‘til then?” she whispered.
“Here,” Liz said, untying her apron and handing it to Ava. “You need to…to put direct pressure…”
“Ok, but what ‘bout Max? Should we…I dunno, call him…maybe?” Ava prodded when Liz continued to stare down at the two of them, her expression distant. She lifted Serena’s head and held the silver apron against the base of her skull, where most of the blood seemed to be coming from. She glanced up at Liz when the other girl didn’t answer her, wondering if maybe she was going into shock herself.
Liz bit her lip, watching as the blood, made darker in the extreme lighting, soaked into the fabric of the apron. “He’ll be here,” she finally whispered
“Uh-huh. Are you…”
“Shhh!” Liz ordered, searching through the dim interior of the room, as she tried to place the weeping that was suddenly echoing through the stillness. “Maria?” she called quietly, unwilling for some reason to disturb the hushed quality of the moment. Narrowing her eyes she searched the shadows for her best friend and finally found her leaning over something on the museum’s main stairs. Her heart lurched painfully when she realized it was a body. Oh God. Michael… “Maria is he…”
“Liz I don’t think…I don’t think he’s breathing right. And he won’t wake up,” Maria whispered through her tears, touching Michael’s face hesitantly. Maybe it was her imagination but he seemed cold, suddenly. Cold wasn’t good, was it? Maybe it was for aliens but she didn’t think so. “What do I do, Liz tell me what to do?” she demanded, her voice shrill and panicked. Oh God, this was bad, this was really, really bad.
“Ok, Maria we need to stay calm, we took CPR…” Liz began, moving painfully to Maria’s side.
“I only passed that class because I cheated off of Alex,” Maria snapped, looking over her shoulder at her friend. “We need to do something, I just, I don’t…”
Liz stared down at Michael. He looked…broken, and strangely small lying there, his head twisted painfully on the stairs. “Ok, ok, we just need to, um…check for a pulse and, and then his airway and, and…” And why the hell can’t I remember that stupid health class, Liz wondered desperately, I studied.
“I did that…he has a pulse but his breathing sounds…wrong.”
“Right,” Liz agreed softly. Michael’s breathing did sound wrong, wet almost, as if he were choking. On blood, she thought a little hysterically. The pain in her side throbbed angrily as her breathing quickened in rising panic. Liz closed her eyes, shocked to find the reassurance she so desperately needed begin to steal through her soul. “Ok, Maria, listen to me, do not flip out. It’s gonna be ok.” It had to be ok, she could feel it, and right now that was enough. Probably a concussion she decided a little hysterically, clinging to the feeling anyway.
Maria’s brows furrowed in angry confusion. “What do you mean it’s ‘gonna to be ok’? Liz, this is not ok!” she bit out, allowing herself one quick glance at her friend, before she returned her attention to Michael. “How do you even know that?” she demanded, stroking her fingers lightly through his hair, almost afraid to touch him for fear of making it worse.
“Max is on the way, we just need to give him a minute, ” Liz pointed out absently. Max is on the way and everything’s going to be fine, she repeated to herself. She glanced over at Ava and saw her standing up, watching Serena as if the girl on the floor had grown another head. “Just try not to move his neck too much,” she instructed wondering what Ava’s problem was.
Maria nodded, ignoring the impulse to ask Liz how the hell she knew Max was on the way. She didn’t care as long as he showed up. “Ok. Ok, but Liz…”
“Everything is going to be fine,” Liz said firmly, looking up as Isabel made her way cautiously into the room.
“What…what happened?” Isabel whispered, her hand dropping back to her side after a quick survey of the room let her know that whoever had done this wasn’t going to be jumping out at her.
“She tried to kill Michael,” Maria explained mournfully.
“Oh my God!” Isabel breathed out, blanching when she finally noticed Michael’s body lying on the stairs. She rushed past Ava, barely recognizing her presence, and dropped down next to Maria, feeling out of place when the other girl didn’t immediately relinquish her position at Michael’s side. Isabel opened her mouth and then closed it again when Maria’s tearful expression finally registered. She took a deep breath and placed one hand awkwardly on the smaller girls shoulder. “Max is on the way,” she said softly, glaring up at Liz as she nodded back to Ava. “What’s she doing here, anyway? And why’d she try to kill him? And why…”
Liz shook her head. “I don’t… she was about to tell me and then…”
“And then she tried to kill Michael,” Isabel finished, turning her glare on Ava. Her brows drew together in angry confusion when she realized that the other alien was standing over someone else, completely oblivious to their conversation.
“No, she didn’t.” Liz murmured, following Isabel’s gaze and wondering why Ava was looking so shell shocked. “Serena did.”
*****************
God-damn, her head hurt!
Serena took a deep breath, the oxygen doing little to clear the dizzying fog that seemed to envelope her senses. She felt removed from herself, removed from everything except… She opened her eyes, or rather, she wanted to, but she couldn’t see a thing. There was only a thick darkness mocking her with the shadow of Zan’s nearness, the strong echo of his presence across a connection that was suddenly working exactly as it should, exactly as it had…before. She wanted to call for him, but she was so afraid to wake from this dream. It was different than the others, more…
“I swear ta God you got more att’tude ‘en sense! What the fuck are you thinkin’ Serena?”
Shrugging, Serena tried to answer Zan’s exasperated frustration, but she couldn’t seem to make her voice work. And then it didn’t matter, because his fingers were wrapping around her upper arms, roughly pulling her against him, catching her breath in her throat at the well remembered spark.
Zan sighed heavily, his temper lost in the thick haze of pain he could feel dancing through her skull. “Alright, ok you’re gonna be fine now, we’ll fix it. Can you open your eyes?”
Serena burrowed closer, too content within the security of their full connection to answer the question. It was almost like it had never happened, like it had all been some nightmare and he was finally waking her to their reality. She didn’t want to look at him, didn’t want to open her eyes and see that this was just another dream.
“Serena, we don’t got time for this.” Zan chided softly, sliding his fingers through her hair and probing her wound as gently as possible. He bit back the pain that exploded in his own head when he found the damage at the base of her skull. He swallowed hard, his own vision spotty with the flare of bright lights behind closed lids as the pain became the only thing she was aware of. Zan gently shushed her whimper, hating that she was in such pain, hating that he was no longer certain he could do anything to fix it. “I’m sorry, baby, just gimme anotha minute…” he whispered, hating himself for the rush of joy he couldn’t stop. But it had been so long since she was this real in his embrace.
Serena sighed, her breathing falling into an easy rhythm as Zan gently eased the fractured agony that seemed to radiate through her entire being. But somehow the healing didn’t feel right, it wasn’t working right. She felt heavy and distant all at once, as if she were floating and her body hadn’t quite decided yet whether to sink or swim.
“Keep takin those deep breaths now, just gimme some time, let it work,” Zan instructed, easing her brief moment of panic. He understood it, remembered it from when he’d first felt it himself. Wasn’t her time, he reminded the cosmos, angrily throwing more of his energy into this half-assed healing.
Forcing her fear aside Serena did as he asked and was rewarded by the further twining of their souls. The warmth that filled her was so familiar, and so real it ached even as it healed. God, she wanted to stay here forever. Nothing else mattered but…she held her breath, confused by the strange stumbling as Zan paused for a moment to collect himself. That wasn’t right. She knew how bad her injury was, she could feel it through the immediacy of their connection, but he shouldn’t have to…her thoughts were cut short by his demand for her attention. She could feel him fading as he used the last of his energy on her, and her soul shuddered in the chill of his sudden weakness.
Struggling against his insistence, Serena pulled her own splintered power together. She was unable to control it, unable to force the healing, but she relaxed when she felt Zan absorbing it, using it, and conserving his own. She felt strangely naked as he turned her power against her, refining it as he healed her, shattering slowly as he strengthened her…slipping farther away.
Not enough, God, she wasn’t strong enough. Even their connection felt the strain, thinning to a gossamer thread she barely recognized from years ago and she whimpered against the sudden aching loneliness which hurt more than her head.
“Serena just let it…” Zan began, voice hoarse with the strain. He could feel the same strange instability that was frightening her. Hell, it frightened him, even after all this time. He’d known from the beginning it would come to this, it had to. But with the strength of her anguish fueling his own, that knowledge did nothing to ease his soul.
Shaking her head silently, Serena clung more tightly to Zan, threading her energy through the last of his even as he pushed her away, forcing her back as he slowly faded, becoming less substantial right before her eyes.
This wasn’t like the dreams. This was more, and it terrified her.
********************
Max pulled the jeep into one of the empty spaces alongside the Crashdown and slid from the vehicle, yanking the emergency brake into position as he stopped for a moment to stare across the street at the UFO Center. Isabel’s frantic description of explosions and flashing lights hadn’t prepared him for the…quiet. The entire street was completely quiet. And still. Too still. The night seemed to be holding its breath just as he was, and Max felt his anxiety ratchet up a notch, mixing with a strange anticipation that he didn’t understand. Briefly, he considered the back door, his common sense telling him that sneaking in might be the best way to go. Shrugging off the idea, he headed for the front door. Whatever was going to happen, already had. The silence was testament to that.
Though a quick glance up and down Main Street assured him that there was no one else outside, Max could almost feel a thousand sets of eyes against his back as he headed for the UFO Center. Which was paranoid, even by his standards. Especially considering the uncomfortable certainty that his enemies weren’t lurking in the shadows, but rather waiting for him inside. With everyone he cared about.
Taking a deep breath, Max covered the beeping keypad with his palm, ready to deactivate the alarm when the merrily flashing green light caught his attention. Already deactivated. The knowledge sent warning bells ringing through his brain even as he moved to accept the invitation, and slowly made his way inside. He was careful to stay close to the wall as he rounded the corner and hit the landing leading down into the main room…or what had once been the main room.
Max froze, staring down into a room he didn’t recognize, though he spent time in it almost every day. Whatever he’d expected to find, it wasn’t the silent chaos and the soft weeping that currently defined the UFO Center. Shocked, the only real thought his mind could form was that there was no way they were going to get this mess cleaned up before Brody came in for work in the morning.
The emergency lighting cast an ominous shadow over everything, making Max even more jumpy. Gripping the railing in one hand, and calling his shield up with the other, he searched the museum for something to explain the destruction. He was surprised to find Tess’ dupe staring down at someone else, twisting a dully shimmering, Crashdown alien head apron between her fingers. For half a second he thought that the shadowed figure lying on the floor might be Liz. It wasn’t, he knew it instinctively even before the panic hit his brain. I’d feel it if that were her, I’d know if something were wrong. The thought would have been comforting had it not been for the nagging anxiety that still insisted something was wrong.
Unerringly, Max’s eyes sought out Liz’s form, catching her gaze when she turned to look up at him. Her relief was almost palpable, but it was the pain he focused on as he rushed down the stairs, dismissing Ava as a threat. For the moment. “Liz, what…”
“It’s nothing,” Liz breathed out hurriedly, grateful that her voice at least sounded normal. “But Michael’s hurt. Bad. And, and Serena…” her thought remained unfinished as Max grabbed her forearm, keeping her from tipping over when the pain of her turning to meet him sent her off balance
Max’s brows drew together in confusion, a thousand questions raced through his mind, all of them lost as he pulled Liz to her feet before him. He felt her start at the immediate spark of awareness and caught her against himself when she stumbled a little, the flash of hot pain catching him off guard. It burned against his ribs, tugging desperately on his power, stroking through it and calling it to life without his conscious decision. His hand slid slowly down her forearm, lacing his fingers through her own and for a moment he forgot to breathe. He forgot everything but the almost frantic pressure of her fingers around his, clinging as tightly as he was.
Max could feel himself falling inward, aware of the warmth of his healing from a strange distance, and longing for the warmth of them which remained just out of reach. He barely gave a thought to the oddity of his power’s instinctive move to heal her, concentrating instead on the welcome shadow of their connection. Almost there. He could feel her soul waiting for his, and his for her, reaching to rekindle what they never should have walked away from. He could feel it, the temptation to let it unfurl, to let it surround them, cocoon them from the coldness of the world…
“Thank God, Max. Max!” Isabel burst out, standing and pulling Maria back a step. She snapped her fingers in her brother’s face when he didn’t move. “What’s the matter with you? You have to help him.”
Max stepped back quickly, exhaling slowly and mourning the instantaneous return to reality. He took a breath, recognizing in Liz the same vertigo that was currently racing through his body at the too abrupt severing of their connection. “I…what?” he asked, his voice sounding hoarse in his own ears.
“Michael,” Isabel ground out.
“Michael!” Giving himself a mental shake, Max forced his attention to the task at hand.
“He’s not breathing right,” Liz whispered, turning with him to look at Michael.
Nodding Max knelt beside Michael’s still form. He’d never seen him like this, not even after he’d been shot. Then at least he’d been so pissed about being hurt that it had taken some time to keep him still long enough to heal him. Not gonna be a problem this time, Max thought grimly, leaning down and gently shifting Michael’s body into a more natural position. He sought the injury as he did so, easily fusing the broken discs in Michael’s spine, repaired the ribs stabbing sharply into his lungs, even as he mended the delicate tears in the life-giving tissue, evaporating the blood pooling there, his own breath becoming ragged and heavy as Michael began struggling against unconsciousness on his own. With a gasp Max broke the connection completely and sat back, exhaustion shadowing his eyes as he stared at the guilty expression on Ava’s face.
Isabel stared, feeling even more out of place as Liz Parker sank down next to her brother, her hand still clasped firmly within his. He’d never let her go. The entire time he’d been healing Michael, he’d been clinging to Liz’s hand. Isabel’s eyes narrowed as she came to the inescapable conclusion that she was missing something. “Max, what…”
“What the hell was that?!” Michael demanded with a groan, forcing himself to sit up, and promptly losing his breath once again when Maria threw herself against his chest.
“That’s what I want to know,” Max muttered, his eyes focused on Tess’ doouble.
Dimly, Liz was aware that she needed to explain… something, but she found herself unable to focus, drifting instead through a strange warm/cold afterglow.
“Maria, I’m fine,” Michael muttered, trying to disentangle himself from Maria’s embrace.
“You weren’t a second ago!”
Rolling his eyes at Maria’s muffled exclamation, Michael stood up, pulling her with him. “Where is she?” he growled, glaring Ava into a two step retreat, before looking at Max. “That’s what happened,” he announced, pointing at the unconscious body on the floor. “She tried to kill me.”
Max raised his brows in surprise, his focus shifting to the small girl at Ava’s feet before glancing tiredly around the room. “She’s half your size, Michael, you’re saying she did all this?”
“She has powers, Max.”
“Serena,” Liz breathed, her jumbled thoughts falling back into focus. Standing quickly she tugged Max to his feet. “You’ve got to help her.”
“Who?” Max asked. “Liz, wait a second…did you just say Serena?” Falling silent, Max let Liz pull him to the other side of the room. “That Serena?” he whispered against her ear, looking down at the girl on the floor.
Suppressing the shiver that wanted to steal her focus, Liz forced a nod in answer to Max’s question. That was Serena. The one who had sent his future self back in time. The one who was supposed to be her friend. The one who had just tried to kill Michael. She knelt next to her, searching for and finding a pulse thrumming with surprising strength beneath her fingers. Gently pulling the apron from the wound, Liz moved out of Max’s way, motioning him forward. “She seems…”
“I think she’s ok,” Ava mumbled, backing up another step as the rest of the group followed Max and Liz across the room.
Liz shook her head. “Ava, she can’t be. There’s way too much blood.”
“I know but…I don’t know,” Ava muttered, looking away from Michael and Isabel’s respective glares.
“Liz, she’s right,” Max said, his brows furrowing in confusion over the blood beginning to matte Serena’s hair. Wrinkling his nose a little in unconscious distaste, he got rid of the elastic band and ran his fingers through her loose curls, ridding them of the sticky substance as he checked her skull again. Nothing. “There’s nothing wrong with her,” he repeated, holding a hand over the floor and erasing the blood from existence. The evidence they’d be forced to leave behind was bad enough.
“Are you sure?” Liz asked worriedly, staring at the bloody apron in her hand.
Max glanced briefly over his shoulder. “Yeah,” he drawled wryly. “I’m sure. There’s nothing wrong with her,” he mumbled, studying the unconscious girl with sharp curiosity. So this was the girl who’d sent him back in time to ruin his own life, he mused bitterly.
“Nothing physical anyway,” Michael muttered. “She did try to kill me,” he reminded them.
“Why?” Max asked, his brain racing with half formed answers and even more questions. Was she from the future? She looked to be about their age, and too innocent to be some sort of futuristic assassin. And why would someone come back in time to kill Michael? He looked up at his friend. “What did…”
“I didn’t do anything, ok?!” Michael bit out. “I followed her in here after she broke in. When I caught up with her, she said she was looking for me and then she tried to kill me!”
“It wasn’t you she was trying to kill,” Ava interjected quietly, uncomfortably aware that she was now the focus of everyone’s attention.
“Sure felt like it was me,” Michael shot back.
“She thought you was Rath. It’s him she wants ta kill.”
Max blinked, mulling over that piece of information. “Not that he’s my favorite person in the world, but why does she want to kill him?”
Ava shrugged uneasily, wondering what Max would do when he realized that she’d known all about what Rath had done before he left for the summit. Michael and Isabel sure as hell hadn’t been pleased. She was grateful when Liz rose to her feet and moved to stand next to her.
“Ava, it’s ok, just tell us what you know so we can figure out what happened.”
“And what to do with Ellen Ripley over there,” Michael muttered. ‘What?’ he mouthed, rolling his eyes and finally subsiding at Max’s sharp look.
“He killed Zan,” Ava replied, glancing uneasily at Max and then jerking her gaze back to Liz. Of the other people in the room, Liz was definitely the only one who seemed remotely sympathetic. “She wants him dead cuz he killed Zan.”
“So, what, that makes it ok for her to go after Michael?” Isabel asked coldly, her power surging angrily against her palm as she stared at the unconscious girl.
“She thought he was Rath,” Ava repeated. “She didn’ know…”
“He isn’t Rath,” Maria snapped, still not completely recovered from watching Michael almost blown away right before her eyes.
“Ok, but in her defense he does bear a striking resemblance to him,” Liz pointed out absently, becoming more and more worried by Max’s continued silence.
“And we’re defending her, why?” Maria retorted.
“I’m not, exactly, I’m just saying that we need to wait until she wakes up. We need her side of the story,” Liz murmured. We need to know what else she’s here for, we need to know if it has anything to do with Future Max or the granolith or…the invasion. She caught Max’s eye and knew he was thinking much the same thing, but the small shrug he offered let her know he wasn’t inclined to join in Serena’s defense
“She doesn’t get a side, look at this place!”
“Michael, come on, I don’t think she was trying to…”
“What, Liz? Destroy the UFO Center? You’re right she was trying to kill me.”
“Rath,” Ava corrected.
Michael glared, dismissing Liz and turning to look at Ava. “She’s been here all of what?”
“A… a few… days.” Ava stammered out, glancing briefly at Liz and then forcing herself to stand her ground.
Isabel glanced uneasily from her brother to Michael, growing more anxious when Max didn’t even respond to Michael’s growing temper. She wasn’t happy about this situation, but Michael blowing up wouldn’t help. “Michael, just calm…”
“Calm down? It’s bad enough that the Skins are out there, but now people who don’t even know us are trying to kill us!” He pinned Ava with a glare. “And I don’t care that she thought I was Rath.” Michael turned to glare at Max next. “Maxwell, are you ever planning on saying anything?”
“She’s waking up,” Max pointed out mildly.
*******continued in next post*********
The fact that we are fools is duly noted...
But must that be our epitaph?
-SRC
I'd be an idiot if I weren't less than pleased about being doomed.
- Warren Zevon
But must that be our epitaph?
-SRC
I'd be an idiot if I weren't less than pleased about being doomed.
- Warren Zevon
*******Part 13 continued************
“Serena…”
Panting a little in the oppressive darkness, and fighting to draw breath past the strange, humid heaviness weighing against her lungs, Serena struggled to understand what was going on. There was none of the restless energy that had always accompanied Zan’s healing. Instead she felt wrung out…half dead. “I’m fine, forget it.” She insisted, forcing Zan’s hand away when he moved to finish her healing. Shivering, she looked around, wondering at the strange, cold nothingness that seemed to surround her. “Where…where are we?” she whispered, her fear spiking at his expression.
“Doesn’ matta,” Zan said tiredly, his soul heavy and mutable all at once. He could feel the distance between them now as he never had before, and he could feel her slipping farther away as the world called for her presence. He was terrified suddenly that this was it, that he’d never see her again, or feel her. This is right. It needed to happen, he told himself firmly. Even if it hurt like a motherfucker. Catching her chin between his fingers, he forced her terrified gaze to his. “Listen ta me now, listen! When you go back there…Serena you gotta get outta Roswell. You gotta promise me, baby, promise that you’re gonna run an’…
“No. No, Zan stop! Why…”
“Aint no stoppin’ this, baby, you’ve known it from the beginnin’.”
Serena shook her head, burying her face against his chest and wrapping her spirit around his. She was willing to accept defeat, but only if they could stay like this. “I wanna stay with you,” she whimpered, clinging more tightly to him. His form was insubstantial, the beat of his heart barely distinguishable from the rush of air around her, and his soul... Oh, God she could feel him falling away from her just as he had that night. She swallowed hard and stepped back, needing to find their connection in the depths of his eyes. “I want…”
“I know. But you can’t,” Zan said grimly, his palm resting flat over the beating of her heart. And then he shoved her away.
She was falling, desperately gulping air and fighting a losing battle against the panic that wanted to strip her control. She couldn’t feel him, not like she should be able to, not as she had been. The scream that wanted to tear from her soul got caught in her throat. She wanted to go back to him, only she couldn’t. She wanted to open her eyes and see him there, but she knew it would never happen and she could feel her heart breaking just as it did at the end of all her dreams.
Serena moaned heavily as consciousness returned with the dull throbbing in her head. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to open her eyes. And then forgot all about the pain as she stared up into a dream. Only it was a nightmare, because for all the resemblance…that wasn’t Zan.
Scrabbling backwards across the floor, Serena gave herself some much needed breathing room. Biting back a curse she pulled a small, alien head souvenir from the small of her back, flinging it away and only barely aware of the small tinny voice of the toy demanding ‘take me to your leader’ as it bounced across the floor. Her horrified gaze remained locked on… whatever the hell was in front of her. She shook her head purposefully. But the picture before her didn’t change. It was still a Twilight Zone episode gone bad.
“Who…what the hell are you?” Serena demanded hoarsely, staring at the wraith who appeared to have stolen Zan’s life and his power. He was vital and substantial, living and breathing on Zan’s borrowed energy and his place in the world. She shook her head in denial, choking on a sob as she stared at the figure before her. He was Zan, Zan without the character and toughness that had always defined him. Even his eyes… God, so much the same but lacking either the warmth or the recognition that had always lit them when he looked at her. He didn’t know her, which wasn’t a shock really because she sure as hell didn’t know him. But…it hurt nonetheless. It hurt that this thing could live while Zan was…
Serena raised her hand uncertainly, caught between the desire to blow him away and the need to run and pretend he’d never existed. Get your shit together, girl, she demanded of herself, trying to steady her aim. And failing. The resemblance was enough to make this difficult. But not impossible.
Fuck! Who was she kidding? The resemblance was too much.
“Maxwell watch out!” Michael warned the instant Serena’s hand came up.
Shit! Max ignored Michael’s exhalation of relief as he stared at Liz through the glow of his shield. He could feel this whole situation going from bad to worse as he turned his attention to the shadow who’s suddenly taken shape from his own personal hell of the last few days. Strangely, the only clear thought running through his mind was that she’d been misnamed. There was nothing serene about her. Briefly he considered dropping his shield but the crackling surge of energy against Serena’s palm changed his mind, her entire being seemed to vibrate with a reckless, malicious energy, but as long as she was focused on him, maybe…
Biting her lower lip to still the whimper that wanted out, Serena focused on the shield. It was still glowing a soft muted green. It wasn’t live. Yet. It was almost funny. He was gonna kill her and she couldn’t even force herself to defend her own life. Taking a deep breath, Serena searched with growing confusion through the glowing shield to the shadow hovering behind it. Zan would never have simply held the thing in neutral like that, but then that wasn’t Zan. Not Zan, not Zan, her dazed mind continued to repeat. Not Zan!
Max watched the girl before him, his brows drawing together at the strangely lost expression on her face. She was backing away from him, horrified, as if she’d just seen a ghost. He looked at Liz uneasily. She was too vulnerable, too much at the mercy of someone who’d already proven the force of her temper.
“Serena, lemme explain.” Ava burst out. She held up her hands in quick surrender when Serena turned to glare at her. Damn, but she should have warned her about the Dupes before now.
Hell with it! “Liz!” Max dropped his shield and motioned her to his side, swearing silently when she didn’t move. Considering the way her eyes were fixed on Serena, he doubted she even heard him.
Serena shook her head as the Zan wraith caught her attention again. She stared, utterly shocked when the shield winked out of existence before her. Zan never would have done that either, not with a threat so clearly before him.
“Lemme explain,” Ava repeated. “They’re dupes. I mean, we’re the dupes I guess, but…”
“What the fuck are you talkin’ about?” Serena snapped furiously, relieved to be switching targets and almost surprised to find Ava flanked by a brunette. God, she had played this one all wrong! She could just imagine what Zan would say about the sheer stupidity that had gotten her into this position. Which only served to piss her off even more.
“That aint Zan. An’ the guy you tried ta kill…that wasn’ Rath.”
“Funny. Looks an awful lot like Rath ta me,” Serena pointed out snidely, deciding to ignore both Ava’s reference to Zan and her own sudden uncertainty. ‘Rath’ was standing easily behind…behind the thing that looked like Zan, and he didn’t seem too concerned about their positioning. She blinked in surprise when a movement from the corner of her eye caught her attention, reminding her of the two other people in the room. Lonnie! With long hair?
Serena stared, wondering vaguely if maybe she had finally gone and lost her mind. Everyone in the room was just a little off, a little wrong, a little like they’d dropped in from some alternate universe. She raised her hand again, and then dropped it, letting out a harsh laugh as she realized what must be happening. “You’re makin’ me see this aint ya? This is one a your mind fucks, tryin’ ta make me see Zan…what? Ya think I’ma slip an’ tell ya where…” Serena shook her head. She was so damn tired suddenly, and as she reached deeper, just as Zan had taught her, she found that there wasn’t enough of him left to combat the warp. “Why?” she whispered, barely aware of her own voice.
“This aint a mindwarp,” Ava bit out. “Why would I mindwarp you? I been tryin’ ta help…”
“Help?” Serena choked out. “Help? What the fuck is this?” she cried, hating the desperate break she heard in her own voice.
Liz bit her lip, the sudden remembrance of Max’s dislike for the simple idea of Serena enough to make her worry about the intensity of his gaze as he watched her. Maybe it was the shadow of their connection, or maybe it was just the anger she read so clearly on his features, but Liz could feel that same intense dislike washing through her now. And she realized suddenly that her own position right next to someone he saw as a threat wasn’t helping the situation. Biting her lip she started to edge slowly away from Ava and Serena towards Max.
“Hold it,” Serena ordered coldly. “Nobody moves until I get a fuckin’ explanation.”
“You don’t give the orders around here,” Michael began.
“Michael, leave it,” Max snapped, ignoring Serena’s order not to move and stepping directly in front of Liz. He was surprised when Ava stayed where she was, ending up behind him as well while Serena slid around to face him, careful to stay out of reach, her hand up in continued warning. Breathing more easily now that Liz was out of firing range he said. “Ok…”
“Ok, nothin’!” Serena barked, staring around… whoever the hell that was to confront Ava. “What the fuck game are you playin’ at, Cotton Candy?” she demanded, embarrassed by the fact that she hadn’t even thought to ask the question before now. ‘Fuckin’ oblivious’, Zan would say, and she was hardly in a position to disagree, she admitted, feeling a frustrated amusement bubbling to the surface. God, this was a mess! And she suddenly realized she’d made the same mistake Zan had in thinking Ava was helpless. And harmless.
“I aint playin’ at anythin’!” Ava said, stepping from behind Max, and stalking angrily towards Serena. She was so sick of this!
“Oh yeah? Then explain that!” Serena shouted, grabbed Ava’s arm and twisting her around to face Rath and Lonnie and…
Ava wrenched her arm from Serena’s grasp. “They’re dupes,” she bit out, her patience at an end. She was rewarded by the confused pain lingering in Serena’s dark blue eyes. “Act’ally, I guess we’re the dupes,” she mused with sarcastic irony.
“Dupes.” Serena repeated dumbly. “Dupes?”
“Duplicates,” Ava explained succinctly.
“Oh, duplicates,” Serena said, nodding as if that explained it all. “What the fuck are you talkin’ about?!”
“You’re the genius, Genius, it aint that hard. Duplicates. There’s two sets, ‘xactly the same.”
“That aint possible. No way they’re ‘xactly the same,” Serena whispered, her horrified gaze riveted to Zan’s…dupe. “That aint Zan,” she said, needing to say it, needing to hear it out loud.
“I know that,” Ava said, with slow condescension. Serena’s glacial focus had found a target in her more than once and she couldn’t help the malicious satisfaction she felt over seeing the other girl so rattled. “That’s kinda the point.”
“Do I look stupid ta you?” Serena demanded.
“Fine, Serena, you’re right!” Ava announced, throwing up her hands in exasperation. “You’re right about fuckin’ everythin’. That’s Rath and that’s Lonnie and oh, yeah, you go ahead and tell me that’s Zan!” She bit out, pointing at Michael, Isabel and Max in turn.
Against her will, Serena’s eyes were drawn to the other one. Not Zan. No way in hell that was Zan. And even Lonnie and Rath didn’t look nearly as manic or hungry as they normally did. She shook her head, her own incomprehension slapping her in the face. “I don’t…I don’t undastan’. Why’re you doin’ this?”
Ava shook her head. “I ain’t doin’ anythin’. C’mon you knew there were gonna be otha’s in Roswell…”
“Otha’s! Not… not like, not them.”
“Aww,” Ava mocked. “So Zan didn’ tell ya everythin’. Sorry ta hear it,” she finished, perversely pleased by Serena’s continued confusion. It was good to know that while Zan had apparently deigned to actually talk to Serena, he hadn’t told her everything. So why did it still feel somehow like the joke was on her? Ava wondered bitterly.
Liz swallowed hard. Whatever else Ava and Serena were, she realized suddenly that ‘friends’ was not an apt description. “Ok, I think, um , I think maybe we all just need to start over,” she began with forced calm. In all her myriad imaginings about the girl Max’s future self had mentioned, Liz had never quite imagined Serena like…this. But there was something about her expression, something fragile and stark that made her heart ache in recognition.
“I’m Liz, and, and this is Max,” she continued, ignoring the incredulous looks everyone, including Max and Serena were giving her. She looked up at Max, resting her hand lightly on his arm as she silently begged him to go along with this, even as his resistance to the idea met her head on. “She needs to be on our side,” she reminded him in a pointed whisper.
Max glanced down at Liz’s fingers where they lightly brushed his forearm. He knew exactly what she was attempting to do. The inconspicuous touch allowed just enough of her certainty to flood through to him, breaking his resolve and the strange staring contest he’d begun with Serena. He turned to stare at Liz instead, one brow raised in mute challenge as he let her know he wouldn’t be so easily manipulated. Even by her sudden desperation to make him see. Giving in ungraciously, Max rolled his eyes in Serena’s direction. “Pleasure,” he muttered.
“Ditto,” Serena mocked.
“And, and that’s Michael, and Isabel, and Maria.” Liz rushed out, gripping Max’s arm more tightly as she felt his animosity grow apace with Serena’s attitude.
“We’ve met,” Michael muttered.
Isabel nodded absently, more interested in what Liz was whispering to her brother than this whole ridiculous conversation. And then a movement just behind Ava caught her attention. She exhaled a relieved breath. Tess was hardly likely to continue this little game of humor the mad man. She’d probably sneak up behind…
“What the hell is going on here?!”
Isabel sighed heavily. Or not.
Serena whirled, her hand raised instinctively to defend herself from the sneak attack.
“Tess look out!” Max began, but Ava had already grabbed Serena’s hand and forced it back to her side.
Serena’s jaw dropped as she was confronted by another version of Ava. A curly haired, very blonde version of Ava. “What the fuck…” She blinked her eyes purposefully, but the other Ava didn’t disappear. In fact, she brought two more people in with her from the back. Well, it was official, Serena decided. She was in hell. At least she hadn’t seen the other two guys anywhere before in her life.
“Will you quit tryin’ ta take out everyone who walks in here!” Ava ground out. “I told you there’s one for each a us.”
“Duplicates,” Serena repeated again, the reality of it finally setting in now that she was confronted with two of them standing side by side.
“Yeah. Knew you’d catch on event’ally, genius,” Ava mumbled.
“Ok, someone want to clue me in on what the hell happened here?” Valenti demanded loudly, his gun drawn as he followed Tess in and held Kyle behind him.
“Yeah,” Tess seconded, looking at Max, still less than pleased by the abrupt end to their date. “Kyle said Liz called and you took off because of some big emergency. Not that this doesn’t qualify,” she amended, surveying the damage. She nodded in absent agreement with Kyle’s low whistle.
Liz blinked. I did.
“She did?” Isabel asked.
Max avoided both Liz and Isabel’s curious stares. “Er, yeah, she did. She saw the explosion.”
Liz opened her mouth and then closed it. I did?
“She did?” Isabel echoed, her eyes darting suspiciously from Liz to her brother.
Tess looked at Isabel and then dismissed her confusion. “Why didn’t you wait?” she asked Max.
“I…um, I…”
“I meant, what happened here?” Valenti clarified, breaking in and reminding everyone of what was important, as he stared at the damage to the UFO Center.
“Michael saw her break into the UFO Center…”
Serena raised her brows at the venom in the small blonde’s – Maria’s? - voice and then she proceeded to be amazed when the girl managed a fairly verbose explanation all in one breath.
“…and he followed her and then she tried to kill him – she has powers – she aimed at him and he aimed at her and their alien power blasts or whatever met in the middle and then BOOM! And then everyone woke up, except Michael because he was unconscious and then Max got here and healed him and then she tried to kill Max and she didn’t believe Ava about the dupes and she was, like, freaking out, and we were all trying to explain and that’s when you got here.”
Valenti blinked. “Thank you, Maria.”
Maria shrugged self consciously. “You’re welcome.”
“Yeah, thanks for the Cliff’s Notes version of the apocalypse,” Kyle said wryly. “Just one question. Who is she?” he asked, waving a hand at the silently shell shocked brunette standing next to Tess’ evil twin.
And the hits just keep on comin’! Serena raised her chin defiantly, fighting the uneasy claustrophobia that hit when she realized she was well and truly surrounded. God, Zan was right, she was fuckin’ oblivious. She forced herself to remain calm, edging backwards as she sought frantically for a way out.
“Serena, c’mon, work wit us here,” Ava pleaded, her worried gaze searching the angry faces surrounding them, particularly her double’s.
“Serena Fallon,” Serena bit out, cursing herself almost immediately for actually having given her real name. What the fuck was wrong with her? Zan’d be rollin’ over in… Choking back the words and the reality, Serena took one more look at Rath’s double and decided to acknowledge her mistake gracefully. “Sorry ‘bout the mess.”
Max’s brows rose in surprise as he marveled at her definition of ‘mess’. “The mess?” he questioned sarcastically. “You almost killed Michael!” He was slightly appeased by the fact that she had the grace to look embarrassed about that. Or maybe her blush had more to do with the emergency lighting…
Serena cleared her throat delicately. “Yeah. Sorry ‘bout that, too. I’ll uh, I’ll be more careful nex’ time.”
“Next time?” Michael exploded, taking a step forward, utterly exasperated when the midget in front of him simply mimicked the action.
“She aint lookin’ ta kill you,” Ava interjected desperately. It was all clear to her that Serena wasn’t interested in saving anyone’s life, even her own, especially her own. And without help from the Roswell aliens, Ava knew she was screwed.
“Really? What is she looking to do?” Max asked, the question directed at Ava though his eyes remained fixed on Serena.
“Yeah,” Serena added, ignoring…Max’s stare. “What am I looking to do?” she asked Ava sarcastically.
Ava opened her mouth and then closed it again. Now that she had everyone’s attention, she had no idea how to start.
“You came to me earlier,” Liz prodded softly. “You told me you had news…”
Taking a deep breath Ava latched onto Liz’s encouragement. “Right. I did. There is news. I…they’re coming,” she finished lamely.
Max’s eyes narrowed suspiciously on Ava. “Who?”
“The Skins. An’, an’ Rath. They’re workin’ together. I didn’ lie Serena, I tol’ ya he was comin’ ta Roswell an’ he is. That’s why I wanted you ta meet…everyone,” she said, gesturing vaguely at the other 8 people in the room. “Serena we’re gonna need their help.”
“I don’ need anyone’s help,” Serena said coldly, her head beginning to spin. Jesus, was it too much to ask for one little thing to just work out for her, she wondered miserably.
“You do,” Ava insisted. “This aint jus’ ‘bout Rath anymore.”
“Is for me,” Serena said stubbornly.
“No. It aint,” Ava retorted, hearing the slight edge of hysteria in her own voice even as Serena’s words echoed through her brain. ‘Sooner or lata, you may act’ally have ta pick a side’ She shook her head. Frankly, both sides looked like crap at the moment. “Serena, you’ll neva get anywhere near him. Not wit all the Skins workin’ wit him. Not witout their help.”
“I don’ ca…”
“You better start!” Max ordered, glaring at Serena. He met her furious gaze squarely, slightly surprised when she was the first one to look away. Reining in his temper he turned back to Ava. “I need details.”
Serena snorted. “Good luck wit that,” she muttered under her breath.
Ava swallowed hard. “I, I really…”
“Ok,” Valenti interrupted. “This isn’t the time or the place for this conversation. We’re lucky the police haven’t gotten here already,” Valenti grumbled, his brows drawing together in sudden, confused awareness. “And why is that?” he asked suspiciously.
“The alarm was turned off when I got here,” Max said, his gaze narrowing on Serena’s innocently widened eyes.
“Was off when I got here too,” Serena said. “Guess I’m jus’ lucky like that.”
“Well at least we’ve got that in our favor,” Valenti muttered sarcastically. It probably was a good thing that she was clearly capable of both breaking and entering on the sly. The last thing he needed was Hanson showing up and demanding an explanation. And the last thing he’d do was admit that to the juvenile delinquent still working on looking innocent. “Let’s get out of here. We can continue this across the street?” he asked, looking to Liz for confirmation.
Liz nodded quickly, still worried about what Max wasn’t saying. His eyes were hard and she could read his anger in the set of his jaw. This wasn’t good. “We should be able to, yeah,” she murmured
“Good, everybody out. Through the back door,” Valenti clarified, turning Kyle around and heading in that direction himself.
Serena blinked, wondering how in the hell she’d just been granted a reprieve. Deciding not to look a gift horse in the mouth, she picked her way through the debris of displays and alien souvenirs and headed quickly for the back door, Ava following in her wake.
Valenti did a quick head count in the back lot and then stared at the door as it occurred to him that there was at least one problem. “It’s gonna look awful suspicious tomorrow when that door is wide open and the alarm didn’t go off. How many people have the code?”
Max sighed heavily. “ Great, my parents are just going to love it when I’m arrested for vandalism,” he muttered, running a frustrated hand through his hair.
“What should we do?” Tess asked, her blue eyes focused on Max.
“Oh for fuck’s sake, improvise,” Serena mumbled, raising a hand and aiming at the two exposed wires running into the control panel. It took more concentration than it should have, and she had to force herself to take slow even breaths instead of the panting gasps her racing heartbeat was demanding. As she cut the wires, Serena surreptitiously removed her fingerprints from the key pad. How the hell had she forgotten gloves? Zan would have had her ass. Without even deciding to, she once again sought out his presence, her desolation rising as she had to search deeper than she ever had before. It was making her crazy, and lightheaded, playing havoc with her already uncertain balance. She glanced up to find the Roswell contingent gaping at her. “Anytime you people wanna quit starin’ at me like I’m the freak from anotha planet, feel free,” she snapped.
Michael’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, his temper sparked by the continued glare she sent in his direction. “And you’re not?” he taunted, vaguely surprised that the thought had just occurred to him.
“Telekinetic not extrat’restrial. Sorry ta disappoint.” Serena mocked. “There’s a 45-second delay before the security company alerts the police to a break in. If I was you, I’d get the hell outta Dodge.” She glanced down at Ava. “You stickin’ around or what?”
“I thought we was…”
“Aint in the mood to chat nomore, I’m out,” Serena said, heading from the back lot at a pace just short of jogging. She’d be damned if she ran, but she needed to get the hell away from these people, needed to clear her head. Or maybe she’d finally let herself drown in that bottle of Jack back at the hotel room. She deserved that, didn’t she? The oblivion?
Tess glanced at Valenti for permission and then reached for her dupe. “You don’t have to go with her if you don’t want to, you could come with me instead,” she said kindly, letting her features reflect a legitimate fear for Ava’s safety. Bitch better say yes, she thought, because someone had a lot of explaining to do.
Ava shook her head quickly, gasping a little as Rath’s words echoed suddenly through her head. There’s a new queen bitch on ‘a make. Swallowing hard, Ava stared at her double. Serena she could deal with. But something in Tess’ eyes made her doubt she was as safe in her presence. “I- I should probably go with Serena…keep an eye on her.”
Michael snorted. “Yeah. You’ve done a great job so far.”
Ava pulled her arm from Tess’ strangely firm grip and moved to follow Serena, deciding to keep out of Michael’s reach as well. “I’ll talk to ya lata, Liz.”
“Right,” Liz agreed, uncomfortably aware of Tess’ gaze, and even Max’s.
“I don’t like this,” Tess muttered. What the hell was her dupe doing here? Ava wasn’t part of the plan. Not as far as she knew, anyway.
“Neither do I,” Max agreed grimly. “But we don’t have the time now.”
Tess blinked, surprised by Max’s easy agreement. “Right, but what are…”
“We better get going,” Max said. “Isabel, I’ll meet you at home. Maria, you’re taking Michael, right? Good. Everyone just act normally and we’ll be fine.” He sighed, turning his attention to Liz. “You should probably get back,” he said, shaking his head a little as they rounded the corner of the UFO Center. “I just don’t like leaving you alone with this,” he murmured.
“Max, I live across the street, it’d look more weird if I wasn’t around,” Liz reminded him. smiling softly at his concern. And then her smile faltered. She could almost feel Tess’ eyes on her back.
“I know, I just…” Max forced himself not to reach out and touch her as he wanted to, her desperate glance over his shoulder reminding him that Tess was right there. He nodded, glancing away quickly before he was tempted to fall into her eyes. Right.
Valenti clapped his hands loudly, grabbing the kids attention as the stopwatch in his head ticked down. It wouldn’t take the Sheriff’s Department that long to make it from the station to the UFO Center once they were alerted. “Let’s move, people!”
“Lunch in the quad, tomorrow,” Max announced, waiting for everyone’s nod before he crossed the street with Michael and Liz, heading for the jeep. He watched Valenti take off with Tess and Kyle and then motioned Isabel and Maria into the street. He waited until Liz was safely inside and then pushed the jeep into gear, following his sister away from the growing sound of sirens as they began to echo through the night.
*************************
“Think we’re really home free?”
Max jumped, turning to glare at his sister as she stepped from the shadows of their garage. “For now. We were out of there long before the police ever showed up. And Brody never fixed the security camera after that power surge so there’s nothing to connect us to anything that happened there tonight.” He sighed heavily. “The rest…we’ll have to worry about it tomorrow.”
Isabel nodded slowly. “That’s what I figured. What’s going on with you and Liz?”
“What? Nothing.”
“Max, tonight wasn’t nothing it was…”
“Hang on.” Saved by the bell, Max decided, pulling his ringing phone from his pocket. He rolled his eyes as he looked up at his sister.
“What?” Isabel asked, distracted by the wry smile on Max’s face.
“Just wondering when Mom learned to text message,” he said, handing the phone to Isabel.
Isabel’s brows drew together as she took the phone from her brother. “It says you’re grounded, Max. Why are you smiling?”
“Serena…”
Panting a little in the oppressive darkness, and fighting to draw breath past the strange, humid heaviness weighing against her lungs, Serena struggled to understand what was going on. There was none of the restless energy that had always accompanied Zan’s healing. Instead she felt wrung out…half dead. “I’m fine, forget it.” She insisted, forcing Zan’s hand away when he moved to finish her healing. Shivering, she looked around, wondering at the strange, cold nothingness that seemed to surround her. “Where…where are we?” she whispered, her fear spiking at his expression.
“Doesn’ matta,” Zan said tiredly, his soul heavy and mutable all at once. He could feel the distance between them now as he never had before, and he could feel her slipping farther away as the world called for her presence. He was terrified suddenly that this was it, that he’d never see her again, or feel her. This is right. It needed to happen, he told himself firmly. Even if it hurt like a motherfucker. Catching her chin between his fingers, he forced her terrified gaze to his. “Listen ta me now, listen! When you go back there…Serena you gotta get outta Roswell. You gotta promise me, baby, promise that you’re gonna run an’…
“No. No, Zan stop! Why…”
“Aint no stoppin’ this, baby, you’ve known it from the beginnin’.”
Serena shook her head, burying her face against his chest and wrapping her spirit around his. She was willing to accept defeat, but only if they could stay like this. “I wanna stay with you,” she whimpered, clinging more tightly to him. His form was insubstantial, the beat of his heart barely distinguishable from the rush of air around her, and his soul... Oh, God she could feel him falling away from her just as he had that night. She swallowed hard and stepped back, needing to find their connection in the depths of his eyes. “I want…”
“I know. But you can’t,” Zan said grimly, his palm resting flat over the beating of her heart. And then he shoved her away.
She was falling, desperately gulping air and fighting a losing battle against the panic that wanted to strip her control. She couldn’t feel him, not like she should be able to, not as she had been. The scream that wanted to tear from her soul got caught in her throat. She wanted to go back to him, only she couldn’t. She wanted to open her eyes and see him there, but she knew it would never happen and she could feel her heart breaking just as it did at the end of all her dreams.
Serena moaned heavily as consciousness returned with the dull throbbing in her head. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to open her eyes. And then forgot all about the pain as she stared up into a dream. Only it was a nightmare, because for all the resemblance…that wasn’t Zan.
Scrabbling backwards across the floor, Serena gave herself some much needed breathing room. Biting back a curse she pulled a small, alien head souvenir from the small of her back, flinging it away and only barely aware of the small tinny voice of the toy demanding ‘take me to your leader’ as it bounced across the floor. Her horrified gaze remained locked on… whatever the hell was in front of her. She shook her head purposefully. But the picture before her didn’t change. It was still a Twilight Zone episode gone bad.
“Who…what the hell are you?” Serena demanded hoarsely, staring at the wraith who appeared to have stolen Zan’s life and his power. He was vital and substantial, living and breathing on Zan’s borrowed energy and his place in the world. She shook her head in denial, choking on a sob as she stared at the figure before her. He was Zan, Zan without the character and toughness that had always defined him. Even his eyes… God, so much the same but lacking either the warmth or the recognition that had always lit them when he looked at her. He didn’t know her, which wasn’t a shock really because she sure as hell didn’t know him. But…it hurt nonetheless. It hurt that this thing could live while Zan was…
Serena raised her hand uncertainly, caught between the desire to blow him away and the need to run and pretend he’d never existed. Get your shit together, girl, she demanded of herself, trying to steady her aim. And failing. The resemblance was enough to make this difficult. But not impossible.
Fuck! Who was she kidding? The resemblance was too much.
“Maxwell watch out!” Michael warned the instant Serena’s hand came up.
Shit! Max ignored Michael’s exhalation of relief as he stared at Liz through the glow of his shield. He could feel this whole situation going from bad to worse as he turned his attention to the shadow who’s suddenly taken shape from his own personal hell of the last few days. Strangely, the only clear thought running through his mind was that she’d been misnamed. There was nothing serene about her. Briefly he considered dropping his shield but the crackling surge of energy against Serena’s palm changed his mind, her entire being seemed to vibrate with a reckless, malicious energy, but as long as she was focused on him, maybe…
Biting her lower lip to still the whimper that wanted out, Serena focused on the shield. It was still glowing a soft muted green. It wasn’t live. Yet. It was almost funny. He was gonna kill her and she couldn’t even force herself to defend her own life. Taking a deep breath, Serena searched with growing confusion through the glowing shield to the shadow hovering behind it. Zan would never have simply held the thing in neutral like that, but then that wasn’t Zan. Not Zan, not Zan, her dazed mind continued to repeat. Not Zan!
Max watched the girl before him, his brows drawing together at the strangely lost expression on her face. She was backing away from him, horrified, as if she’d just seen a ghost. He looked at Liz uneasily. She was too vulnerable, too much at the mercy of someone who’d already proven the force of her temper.
“Serena, lemme explain.” Ava burst out. She held up her hands in quick surrender when Serena turned to glare at her. Damn, but she should have warned her about the Dupes before now.
Hell with it! “Liz!” Max dropped his shield and motioned her to his side, swearing silently when she didn’t move. Considering the way her eyes were fixed on Serena, he doubted she even heard him.
Serena shook her head as the Zan wraith caught her attention again. She stared, utterly shocked when the shield winked out of existence before her. Zan never would have done that either, not with a threat so clearly before him.
“Lemme explain,” Ava repeated. “They’re dupes. I mean, we’re the dupes I guess, but…”
“What the fuck are you talkin’ about?” Serena snapped furiously, relieved to be switching targets and almost surprised to find Ava flanked by a brunette. God, she had played this one all wrong! She could just imagine what Zan would say about the sheer stupidity that had gotten her into this position. Which only served to piss her off even more.
“That aint Zan. An’ the guy you tried ta kill…that wasn’ Rath.”
“Funny. Looks an awful lot like Rath ta me,” Serena pointed out snidely, deciding to ignore both Ava’s reference to Zan and her own sudden uncertainty. ‘Rath’ was standing easily behind…behind the thing that looked like Zan, and he didn’t seem too concerned about their positioning. She blinked in surprise when a movement from the corner of her eye caught her attention, reminding her of the two other people in the room. Lonnie! With long hair?
Serena stared, wondering vaguely if maybe she had finally gone and lost her mind. Everyone in the room was just a little off, a little wrong, a little like they’d dropped in from some alternate universe. She raised her hand again, and then dropped it, letting out a harsh laugh as she realized what must be happening. “You’re makin’ me see this aint ya? This is one a your mind fucks, tryin’ ta make me see Zan…what? Ya think I’ma slip an’ tell ya where…” Serena shook her head. She was so damn tired suddenly, and as she reached deeper, just as Zan had taught her, she found that there wasn’t enough of him left to combat the warp. “Why?” she whispered, barely aware of her own voice.
“This aint a mindwarp,” Ava bit out. “Why would I mindwarp you? I been tryin’ ta help…”
“Help?” Serena choked out. “Help? What the fuck is this?” she cried, hating the desperate break she heard in her own voice.
Liz bit her lip, the sudden remembrance of Max’s dislike for the simple idea of Serena enough to make her worry about the intensity of his gaze as he watched her. Maybe it was the shadow of their connection, or maybe it was just the anger she read so clearly on his features, but Liz could feel that same intense dislike washing through her now. And she realized suddenly that her own position right next to someone he saw as a threat wasn’t helping the situation. Biting her lip she started to edge slowly away from Ava and Serena towards Max.
“Hold it,” Serena ordered coldly. “Nobody moves until I get a fuckin’ explanation.”
“You don’t give the orders around here,” Michael began.
“Michael, leave it,” Max snapped, ignoring Serena’s order not to move and stepping directly in front of Liz. He was surprised when Ava stayed where she was, ending up behind him as well while Serena slid around to face him, careful to stay out of reach, her hand up in continued warning. Breathing more easily now that Liz was out of firing range he said. “Ok…”
“Ok, nothin’!” Serena barked, staring around… whoever the hell that was to confront Ava. “What the fuck game are you playin’ at, Cotton Candy?” she demanded, embarrassed by the fact that she hadn’t even thought to ask the question before now. ‘Fuckin’ oblivious’, Zan would say, and she was hardly in a position to disagree, she admitted, feeling a frustrated amusement bubbling to the surface. God, this was a mess! And she suddenly realized she’d made the same mistake Zan had in thinking Ava was helpless. And harmless.
“I aint playin’ at anythin’!” Ava said, stepping from behind Max, and stalking angrily towards Serena. She was so sick of this!
“Oh yeah? Then explain that!” Serena shouted, grabbed Ava’s arm and twisting her around to face Rath and Lonnie and…
Ava wrenched her arm from Serena’s grasp. “They’re dupes,” she bit out, her patience at an end. She was rewarded by the confused pain lingering in Serena’s dark blue eyes. “Act’ally, I guess we’re the dupes,” she mused with sarcastic irony.
“Dupes.” Serena repeated dumbly. “Dupes?”
“Duplicates,” Ava explained succinctly.
“Oh, duplicates,” Serena said, nodding as if that explained it all. “What the fuck are you talkin’ about?!”
“You’re the genius, Genius, it aint that hard. Duplicates. There’s two sets, ‘xactly the same.”
“That aint possible. No way they’re ‘xactly the same,” Serena whispered, her horrified gaze riveted to Zan’s…dupe. “That aint Zan,” she said, needing to say it, needing to hear it out loud.
“I know that,” Ava said, with slow condescension. Serena’s glacial focus had found a target in her more than once and she couldn’t help the malicious satisfaction she felt over seeing the other girl so rattled. “That’s kinda the point.”
“Do I look stupid ta you?” Serena demanded.
“Fine, Serena, you’re right!” Ava announced, throwing up her hands in exasperation. “You’re right about fuckin’ everythin’. That’s Rath and that’s Lonnie and oh, yeah, you go ahead and tell me that’s Zan!” She bit out, pointing at Michael, Isabel and Max in turn.
Against her will, Serena’s eyes were drawn to the other one. Not Zan. No way in hell that was Zan. And even Lonnie and Rath didn’t look nearly as manic or hungry as they normally did. She shook her head, her own incomprehension slapping her in the face. “I don’t…I don’t undastan’. Why’re you doin’ this?”
Ava shook her head. “I ain’t doin’ anythin’. C’mon you knew there were gonna be otha’s in Roswell…”
“Otha’s! Not… not like, not them.”
“Aww,” Ava mocked. “So Zan didn’ tell ya everythin’. Sorry ta hear it,” she finished, perversely pleased by Serena’s continued confusion. It was good to know that while Zan had apparently deigned to actually talk to Serena, he hadn’t told her everything. So why did it still feel somehow like the joke was on her? Ava wondered bitterly.
Liz swallowed hard. Whatever else Ava and Serena were, she realized suddenly that ‘friends’ was not an apt description. “Ok, I think, um , I think maybe we all just need to start over,” she began with forced calm. In all her myriad imaginings about the girl Max’s future self had mentioned, Liz had never quite imagined Serena like…this. But there was something about her expression, something fragile and stark that made her heart ache in recognition.
“I’m Liz, and, and this is Max,” she continued, ignoring the incredulous looks everyone, including Max and Serena were giving her. She looked up at Max, resting her hand lightly on his arm as she silently begged him to go along with this, even as his resistance to the idea met her head on. “She needs to be on our side,” she reminded him in a pointed whisper.
Max glanced down at Liz’s fingers where they lightly brushed his forearm. He knew exactly what she was attempting to do. The inconspicuous touch allowed just enough of her certainty to flood through to him, breaking his resolve and the strange staring contest he’d begun with Serena. He turned to stare at Liz instead, one brow raised in mute challenge as he let her know he wouldn’t be so easily manipulated. Even by her sudden desperation to make him see. Giving in ungraciously, Max rolled his eyes in Serena’s direction. “Pleasure,” he muttered.
“Ditto,” Serena mocked.
“And, and that’s Michael, and Isabel, and Maria.” Liz rushed out, gripping Max’s arm more tightly as she felt his animosity grow apace with Serena’s attitude.
“We’ve met,” Michael muttered.
Isabel nodded absently, more interested in what Liz was whispering to her brother than this whole ridiculous conversation. And then a movement just behind Ava caught her attention. She exhaled a relieved breath. Tess was hardly likely to continue this little game of humor the mad man. She’d probably sneak up behind…
“What the hell is going on here?!”
Isabel sighed heavily. Or not.
Serena whirled, her hand raised instinctively to defend herself from the sneak attack.
“Tess look out!” Max began, but Ava had already grabbed Serena’s hand and forced it back to her side.
Serena’s jaw dropped as she was confronted by another version of Ava. A curly haired, very blonde version of Ava. “What the fuck…” She blinked her eyes purposefully, but the other Ava didn’t disappear. In fact, she brought two more people in with her from the back. Well, it was official, Serena decided. She was in hell. At least she hadn’t seen the other two guys anywhere before in her life.
“Will you quit tryin’ ta take out everyone who walks in here!” Ava ground out. “I told you there’s one for each a us.”
“Duplicates,” Serena repeated again, the reality of it finally setting in now that she was confronted with two of them standing side by side.
“Yeah. Knew you’d catch on event’ally, genius,” Ava mumbled.
“Ok, someone want to clue me in on what the hell happened here?” Valenti demanded loudly, his gun drawn as he followed Tess in and held Kyle behind him.
“Yeah,” Tess seconded, looking at Max, still less than pleased by the abrupt end to their date. “Kyle said Liz called and you took off because of some big emergency. Not that this doesn’t qualify,” she amended, surveying the damage. She nodded in absent agreement with Kyle’s low whistle.
Liz blinked. I did.
“She did?” Isabel asked.
Max avoided both Liz and Isabel’s curious stares. “Er, yeah, she did. She saw the explosion.”
Liz opened her mouth and then closed it. I did?
“She did?” Isabel echoed, her eyes darting suspiciously from Liz to her brother.
Tess looked at Isabel and then dismissed her confusion. “Why didn’t you wait?” she asked Max.
“I…um, I…”
“I meant, what happened here?” Valenti clarified, breaking in and reminding everyone of what was important, as he stared at the damage to the UFO Center.
“Michael saw her break into the UFO Center…”
Serena raised her brows at the venom in the small blonde’s – Maria’s? - voice and then she proceeded to be amazed when the girl managed a fairly verbose explanation all in one breath.
“…and he followed her and then she tried to kill him – she has powers – she aimed at him and he aimed at her and their alien power blasts or whatever met in the middle and then BOOM! And then everyone woke up, except Michael because he was unconscious and then Max got here and healed him and then she tried to kill Max and she didn’t believe Ava about the dupes and she was, like, freaking out, and we were all trying to explain and that’s when you got here.”
Valenti blinked. “Thank you, Maria.”
Maria shrugged self consciously. “You’re welcome.”
“Yeah, thanks for the Cliff’s Notes version of the apocalypse,” Kyle said wryly. “Just one question. Who is she?” he asked, waving a hand at the silently shell shocked brunette standing next to Tess’ evil twin.
And the hits just keep on comin’! Serena raised her chin defiantly, fighting the uneasy claustrophobia that hit when she realized she was well and truly surrounded. God, Zan was right, she was fuckin’ oblivious. She forced herself to remain calm, edging backwards as she sought frantically for a way out.
“Serena, c’mon, work wit us here,” Ava pleaded, her worried gaze searching the angry faces surrounding them, particularly her double’s.
“Serena Fallon,” Serena bit out, cursing herself almost immediately for actually having given her real name. What the fuck was wrong with her? Zan’d be rollin’ over in… Choking back the words and the reality, Serena took one more look at Rath’s double and decided to acknowledge her mistake gracefully. “Sorry ‘bout the mess.”
Max’s brows rose in surprise as he marveled at her definition of ‘mess’. “The mess?” he questioned sarcastically. “You almost killed Michael!” He was slightly appeased by the fact that she had the grace to look embarrassed about that. Or maybe her blush had more to do with the emergency lighting…
Serena cleared her throat delicately. “Yeah. Sorry ‘bout that, too. I’ll uh, I’ll be more careful nex’ time.”
“Next time?” Michael exploded, taking a step forward, utterly exasperated when the midget in front of him simply mimicked the action.
“She aint lookin’ ta kill you,” Ava interjected desperately. It was all clear to her that Serena wasn’t interested in saving anyone’s life, even her own, especially her own. And without help from the Roswell aliens, Ava knew she was screwed.
“Really? What is she looking to do?” Max asked, the question directed at Ava though his eyes remained fixed on Serena.
“Yeah,” Serena added, ignoring…Max’s stare. “What am I looking to do?” she asked Ava sarcastically.
Ava opened her mouth and then closed it again. Now that she had everyone’s attention, she had no idea how to start.
“You came to me earlier,” Liz prodded softly. “You told me you had news…”
Taking a deep breath Ava latched onto Liz’s encouragement. “Right. I did. There is news. I…they’re coming,” she finished lamely.
Max’s eyes narrowed suspiciously on Ava. “Who?”
“The Skins. An’, an’ Rath. They’re workin’ together. I didn’ lie Serena, I tol’ ya he was comin’ ta Roswell an’ he is. That’s why I wanted you ta meet…everyone,” she said, gesturing vaguely at the other 8 people in the room. “Serena we’re gonna need their help.”
“I don’ need anyone’s help,” Serena said coldly, her head beginning to spin. Jesus, was it too much to ask for one little thing to just work out for her, she wondered miserably.
“You do,” Ava insisted. “This aint jus’ ‘bout Rath anymore.”
“Is for me,” Serena said stubbornly.
“No. It aint,” Ava retorted, hearing the slight edge of hysteria in her own voice even as Serena’s words echoed through her brain. ‘Sooner or lata, you may act’ally have ta pick a side’ She shook her head. Frankly, both sides looked like crap at the moment. “Serena, you’ll neva get anywhere near him. Not wit all the Skins workin’ wit him. Not witout their help.”
“I don’ ca…”
“You better start!” Max ordered, glaring at Serena. He met her furious gaze squarely, slightly surprised when she was the first one to look away. Reining in his temper he turned back to Ava. “I need details.”
Serena snorted. “Good luck wit that,” she muttered under her breath.
Ava swallowed hard. “I, I really…”
“Ok,” Valenti interrupted. “This isn’t the time or the place for this conversation. We’re lucky the police haven’t gotten here already,” Valenti grumbled, his brows drawing together in sudden, confused awareness. “And why is that?” he asked suspiciously.
“The alarm was turned off when I got here,” Max said, his gaze narrowing on Serena’s innocently widened eyes.
“Was off when I got here too,” Serena said. “Guess I’m jus’ lucky like that.”
“Well at least we’ve got that in our favor,” Valenti muttered sarcastically. It probably was a good thing that she was clearly capable of both breaking and entering on the sly. The last thing he needed was Hanson showing up and demanding an explanation. And the last thing he’d do was admit that to the juvenile delinquent still working on looking innocent. “Let’s get out of here. We can continue this across the street?” he asked, looking to Liz for confirmation.
Liz nodded quickly, still worried about what Max wasn’t saying. His eyes were hard and she could read his anger in the set of his jaw. This wasn’t good. “We should be able to, yeah,” she murmured
“Good, everybody out. Through the back door,” Valenti clarified, turning Kyle around and heading in that direction himself.
Serena blinked, wondering how in the hell she’d just been granted a reprieve. Deciding not to look a gift horse in the mouth, she picked her way through the debris of displays and alien souvenirs and headed quickly for the back door, Ava following in her wake.
Valenti did a quick head count in the back lot and then stared at the door as it occurred to him that there was at least one problem. “It’s gonna look awful suspicious tomorrow when that door is wide open and the alarm didn’t go off. How many people have the code?”
Max sighed heavily. “ Great, my parents are just going to love it when I’m arrested for vandalism,” he muttered, running a frustrated hand through his hair.
“What should we do?” Tess asked, her blue eyes focused on Max.
“Oh for fuck’s sake, improvise,” Serena mumbled, raising a hand and aiming at the two exposed wires running into the control panel. It took more concentration than it should have, and she had to force herself to take slow even breaths instead of the panting gasps her racing heartbeat was demanding. As she cut the wires, Serena surreptitiously removed her fingerprints from the key pad. How the hell had she forgotten gloves? Zan would have had her ass. Without even deciding to, she once again sought out his presence, her desolation rising as she had to search deeper than she ever had before. It was making her crazy, and lightheaded, playing havoc with her already uncertain balance. She glanced up to find the Roswell contingent gaping at her. “Anytime you people wanna quit starin’ at me like I’m the freak from anotha planet, feel free,” she snapped.
Michael’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, his temper sparked by the continued glare she sent in his direction. “And you’re not?” he taunted, vaguely surprised that the thought had just occurred to him.
“Telekinetic not extrat’restrial. Sorry ta disappoint.” Serena mocked. “There’s a 45-second delay before the security company alerts the police to a break in. If I was you, I’d get the hell outta Dodge.” She glanced down at Ava. “You stickin’ around or what?”
“I thought we was…”
“Aint in the mood to chat nomore, I’m out,” Serena said, heading from the back lot at a pace just short of jogging. She’d be damned if she ran, but she needed to get the hell away from these people, needed to clear her head. Or maybe she’d finally let herself drown in that bottle of Jack back at the hotel room. She deserved that, didn’t she? The oblivion?
Tess glanced at Valenti for permission and then reached for her dupe. “You don’t have to go with her if you don’t want to, you could come with me instead,” she said kindly, letting her features reflect a legitimate fear for Ava’s safety. Bitch better say yes, she thought, because someone had a lot of explaining to do.
Ava shook her head quickly, gasping a little as Rath’s words echoed suddenly through her head. There’s a new queen bitch on ‘a make. Swallowing hard, Ava stared at her double. Serena she could deal with. But something in Tess’ eyes made her doubt she was as safe in her presence. “I- I should probably go with Serena…keep an eye on her.”
Michael snorted. “Yeah. You’ve done a great job so far.”
Ava pulled her arm from Tess’ strangely firm grip and moved to follow Serena, deciding to keep out of Michael’s reach as well. “I’ll talk to ya lata, Liz.”
“Right,” Liz agreed, uncomfortably aware of Tess’ gaze, and even Max’s.
“I don’t like this,” Tess muttered. What the hell was her dupe doing here? Ava wasn’t part of the plan. Not as far as she knew, anyway.
“Neither do I,” Max agreed grimly. “But we don’t have the time now.”
Tess blinked, surprised by Max’s easy agreement. “Right, but what are…”
“We better get going,” Max said. “Isabel, I’ll meet you at home. Maria, you’re taking Michael, right? Good. Everyone just act normally and we’ll be fine.” He sighed, turning his attention to Liz. “You should probably get back,” he said, shaking his head a little as they rounded the corner of the UFO Center. “I just don’t like leaving you alone with this,” he murmured.
“Max, I live across the street, it’d look more weird if I wasn’t around,” Liz reminded him. smiling softly at his concern. And then her smile faltered. She could almost feel Tess’ eyes on her back.
“I know, I just…” Max forced himself not to reach out and touch her as he wanted to, her desperate glance over his shoulder reminding him that Tess was right there. He nodded, glancing away quickly before he was tempted to fall into her eyes. Right.
Valenti clapped his hands loudly, grabbing the kids attention as the stopwatch in his head ticked down. It wouldn’t take the Sheriff’s Department that long to make it from the station to the UFO Center once they were alerted. “Let’s move, people!”
“Lunch in the quad, tomorrow,” Max announced, waiting for everyone’s nod before he crossed the street with Michael and Liz, heading for the jeep. He watched Valenti take off with Tess and Kyle and then motioned Isabel and Maria into the street. He waited until Liz was safely inside and then pushed the jeep into gear, following his sister away from the growing sound of sirens as they began to echo through the night.
*************************
“Think we’re really home free?”
Max jumped, turning to glare at his sister as she stepped from the shadows of their garage. “For now. We were out of there long before the police ever showed up. And Brody never fixed the security camera after that power surge so there’s nothing to connect us to anything that happened there tonight.” He sighed heavily. “The rest…we’ll have to worry about it tomorrow.”
Isabel nodded slowly. “That’s what I figured. What’s going on with you and Liz?”
“What? Nothing.”
“Max, tonight wasn’t nothing it was…”
“Hang on.” Saved by the bell, Max decided, pulling his ringing phone from his pocket. He rolled his eyes as he looked up at his sister.
“What?” Isabel asked, distracted by the wry smile on Max’s face.
“Just wondering when Mom learned to text message,” he said, handing the phone to Isabel.
Isabel’s brows drew together as she took the phone from her brother. “It says you’re grounded, Max. Why are you smiling?”
The fact that we are fools is duly noted...
But must that be our epitaph?
-SRC
I'd be an idiot if I weren't less than pleased about being doomed.
- Warren Zevon
But must that be our epitaph?
-SRC
I'd be an idiot if I weren't less than pleased about being doomed.
- Warren Zevon
-
frenchkiss70
- Enthusiastic Roswellian
- Posts: 13
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 4:58 pm
- Location: If I tell you I'll have to kill you
Can I say I was incredibly ill at ease while Max was waiting for Tess' return in her bedroom, while she was probably freshening up for the expected conclusion of their "date", thank God, Liz "called" him, this connection thing came in handy.
Back in what happened at the UFO Center. How in hell could Zan heal Serena, I thought he was dead, it's was quite confusing. And why did he ask her to run away from Roswell.
Serena is a thickhead, isn't she? She was hard to convince Max, Michael and Iz were dupes. Now I hope she'll agree to help them and to get help from them, they have to work as a team, otherwise they won't make it against Rath, the skins, Khivar and Tess. I'm glad Ava felt something was off with Tess, maybe she'll be able to convince Liz to forgot about this ridiculous notion of Max having to be with Tess to save the world.
Thanks for this awesome part. I can't wait for more
Back in what happened at the UFO Center. How in hell could Zan heal Serena, I thought he was dead, it's was quite confusing. And why did he ask her to run away from Roswell.
Serena is a thickhead, isn't she?
She was hard to convince Max, Michael and Iz were dupes. Now I hope she'll agree to help them and to get help from them, they have to work as a team, otherwise they won't make it against Rath, the skins, Khivar and Tess. I'm glad Ava felt something was off with Tess, maybe she'll be able to convince Liz to forgot about this ridiculous notion of Max having to be with Tess to save the world.Thanks for this awesome part. I can't wait for more
***************Part 14***********
Into the distance, a ribbon of black
Stretched to the point of no turning back
Ava bit her bottom lip, worrying the piercing between her teeth as she stared out the motel room window into the darkness of the night. It didn’t look like there was anyone out there, but even she wasn’t foolish enough to believe the night was empty. Swallowing hard, she let the curtains close out the view and climbed onto one of the twin beds, wrapping herself in the comforter as she stared at the door. And waited. Waited for whoever would be walking through that door next to seal her fate.
Rath or Serena, Serena or Rath…sighing, Ava wondered if they were really that different. She was exhausted suddenly, tired of balancing herself between them and tired of the double play. Tired of pretending she could do this. And so damn terrified now that she was truly alone. Whatever Serena had convinced her of in the beginning…really, who the fuck was she to aspire to noble, ideals like revenge and justice?
“What’re you gonna do?”
“Ain’t nothin changed, Cotton Candy. I’ma do what I came here ta do,” Serena said coldly, slinging the duffel bag over her shoulder.
Ava stepped in front of her, stopping Serena before she could make it out the door. “Alone? There’s no way you can do this alone. Just calm down an’…”
“You got it all backwards. I aint neva had a problem bein’ alone,” Serena replied softly, moving past Ava and out the door, letting the gentle click of the lock make her point in the silence left behind.
I’m a fool, Ava acknowledged bitterly. As if Serena would ever forget herself long enough to be a friend! She’d made it perfectly clear, even before they’d started this ridiculous quest, that they weren’t friends. They were barely allies.
And after that night… Ava snorted. After that night she should have known they never would be. But the memory of the strange comfort during those first few weeks... How odd was it that Zan’s death had given her the closest thing she’d had to a friend in… God, she couldn’t even remember when. That’s what they’d done to her. And then Serena had lulled her into a false sense of security, made her believe in something that didn’t belong to her. It wasn’t the first time in her life that had happened, and though it had been a comfort then, the shadow of Zan’s responsibility within Serena’s actions seemed more than strange now. And for all Serena’s early solicitousness and protection, all it had taken was one slip and she’d been relegated to barely necessary.
Ava took a deep, steadying breath. As if Serena ever could have cared about her. Shaking her head, Ava admitted, not for the first time, that she should have known better. Whatever she’d thought, whatever she’d been led to believe, she should have known that telling her would change everything.
“What?”
Ava blinked at Serena, surprised by the pained hoarseness of the one word she’d uttered. “I…I just said, ya know that I wish I didn’t have ta rememba seein’ him…I wish I’d known what they was plannin’,” she rushed out as Serena stared at her as if she’d only just remembered she was a stranger.
“You were there? You just…you just let them…you let him die?” Serena breathed.
“No! I, I loved him, More than he ever loved me,” Ava pointed out, watching through her tears as Serena’s expression twisted into one of grim amusement. The guilt Ava had gotten used to was stripped from the other girls expression, replaced with a familiar contempt.
“Loved him?” Serena whispered in harsh disbelief. “Loved him?! You fuckin’ watched. You let them kill him witout raisin’ one goddamn finger.”
“I didn’t have a choice!” Ava cried. ”Listen! They woulda…”
“He act’ally told me…son of a bitch said he couldn’t just leave your ass behind cuz it’d be like leavin’ a kitten in a room full a pit bulls,” Serena glared, ignoring the devastated tears pouring from Ava’s wounded cerulean eyes. “Guess you found your claws,” she observed flatly.
Ava pulled the comforter closer around her shoulders, feeling the chill in the brightness of the room. She hadn’t found her claws. Even now. And that would be her downfall.
Serena shook her head, her fingers clenching dangerously. “Go.”
“No! No, I…I need to do this. For Zan,” Ava said, stubbornly holding her ground. She flinched away from the echo of Serena’s bitter laugh.
“Little late ta be doin’ anythin’ for Zan, no?”
Ava shivered miserably, still a little surprised that Serena hadn’t forced her to leave that night. She hadn’t even continued the argument, hadn’t done anything really except barely tolerate her presence. Just like Zan always had, Ava reminded herself. Like Zan, Serena had let her stick around, like some kind of pet, until tonight when she’d finally just walked away like she was nothing.
A flight of fancy on a windswept field
Standing alone my senses reeled
A fatal attraction is holding me fast
How can I escape this irresistible grasp?
Sitting on the edge of his bed, Max scrubbed at his eyes, fighting a yawn and the exhaustion clawing at his soul. Dropping his head into his hands, he allowed his eyes to close, his shoulders slumping wearily as the events of the evening played out behind closed lids. He wanted so desperately to sleep, but the damn restlessness that had been eating at him all night wanted something else entirely. Someone else entirely. Not that he was surprised. From the moment he’d healed Liz in the UFO Center, hell even before, from the moment he’d seen her, the only thing that existed was the ache of their connection. The hunger moved quickly beyond simple desire in its attempt to thread them together, and even now Max wasn’t completely free of it.
Releasing a long breath, Max felt some of his frustrated exhaustion slip into a gentle comfort as he focused on the last shade of her spirit. It wasn’t enough suddenly, wasn’t the entwined connection of her earlier healing. But then, he’d never felt anything like that before in his life. The intimacy of not being entirely certain where he ended and she began was… beyond anything he’d imagined.
He wanted it back, wanted that moment to last forever. It almost had. Even after taking that half step back, even with just her hand in his, Max could feel his soul-deep recognition of her as a part of himself. And he’d stake his life on having felt the echo of that same thing from Liz. The desire, the need to stay connected to each other, wasn’t his alone. And whatever he’d believed when he’d left her that night after prom… it wasn’t going away.
Max couldn’t help the relieved smile, couldn’t help reveling in an understanding he knew instinctively to be true. And he couldn’t help wondering how the hell they were going to get around it. Because as certain as he was of their connection, he was also pretty damn certain it was going to send Liz into a panic. Not that he was doing so great with it at the moment himself. Had it only been three days, he wondered? He was barely making it 72 hours, how the hell was he supposed to last the rest of his life?
Letting out a frustrated moan, Max fell back against his mattress, and wiped a tired hand across his eyes. God, this whole thing was just… impossible. He felt lightheaded suddenly, unbalanced, as their half-formed connection battled furiously against its own limitations. Even as he battled his, Max acknowledged bleakly, almost smothered by a responsibility that had suddenly become… real.
Serena’s appearance, Ava’s warning…tonight’s entire episode seemed intent on informing him of the immediacy of his duty. Duty to this planet, to Liz, and to a past he could no longer outrun. It shadowed him, heavy and cold. Unyielding in its reminder that his future self’s journey through time hadn’t been a lark, but an attempt to correct…something Max knew he could never consider a mistake.
Linking his hands behind his head, Max focused on the smooth surface of his ceiling, forcing his anxiety to the back of his mind while he tried to at least consider sleeping. But relaxation, he realized with a start, was a dangerous thing. He could already feel the memories tugging at his consciousness with things he didn’t want to know. Portents, like Serena’s sudden appearance, of a Destiny he didn’t want, and couldn’t escape. It was like two opposing forces battled silently for his life, neither willing to give ground, neither retreating. Sighing heavily, Max wondered if he’d ever feel like he wasn’t being cut in half like Solomon’s sacrificial son. And then he wondered if he could ever bear the peace that would come when he finally accepted… this.
If he ever accepted this. Max rolled to his side, punching his pillow angrily as he tried to get comfortable. He wasn’t Michael, he didn’t need to know, didn’t want to know…
This place in Marathon. All those answers that you're looking for. Um...they're just as important to you as they are to Michael, aren't they?
Max closed his eyes. Why was he surprised that she’d been able to see something that, even then, he’d been unwilling to admit to himself? He had wanted to know, and maybe… maybe he still did. But the rest of it… he wasn’t willing to scrap everything he was to live the life of a ghost. The dreams, memories, whatever they were, they weren’t him, he asserted desperately, feeling the words fall away into the cosmos. As certain as he was of their veracity, he was just as certain that those memories weren’t his, not in the way his memories of this life were, not in the way that his connection to Liz was. He paused, exhaling a slow breath. Their unfinished, unbroken connection defined him much more than any past life did. Or ever would.
It wasn’t fair! He felt like a two year old for even thinking it, particularly when his fathers voice whispered through his brain, reminding him that life wasn’t always fair. Sometimes you had to do things you didn’t like simply because they were right. Max shook his head. He knew that, hell he believed that, but this… this was so far beyond right. This situation wasn’t fair to anyone, not Liz, not himself, and not even Tess... Max swallowed hard, feeling his indignation wane with his sudden guilt. Maybe more than anyone else, this situation wasn’t fair to Tess. She was so intent on their Destiny that she was barely aware of him. Surely she deserved more than someone who was with her out of a sense of duty. Wouldn’t she recognize that? Eventually? And what then?
Max sat up, his brows drawing together thoughtfully as he briefly considered calling Tess and explaining this whole mess to her, letting her know that he trusted her with this and valued her opinion and input but…
Right, Evans. Because that’s not the biggest rationalization of your life, Max thought with a snort, lying back down. Even if he were willing to betray Liz’s trust, and he wasn’t… it was too late. He could feel it, the cold, steady encroachment of his future as it reached for his soul, pulling him against his will from who he was into someone he never wanted to be. And isn’t that what you’re really afraid of, a small voice questioned relentlessly, that you’ll find out everything you’ve ever been has meant… nothing.
Fighting the desperate impulse to close his eyes on the reality of his life, Max rolled over onto his stomach, beating his pillow into shapeless submission as he struggled to get the blood pumping through his veins without actually getting out of bed and doing pushups. He was too damned tired. And too damned wary to go to sleep. There was no rest there, no peace. Only Destiny.
Can’t keep my eyes from the circling sky
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I
Ice is forming on the tips of my wings
Unheeded warnings, I thought I thought of everything
No navigator to guide my way home
Unladened, empty and turned to stone
It was colder in the desert than Serena had expected. And emptier, the voyeuristic perusal of a million stars notwithstanding. But as she caught her breath against the memory of her nightmare, she realized that his voice echoed just as loudly through her head here, as it did in the hotel room.
“Zan, c’mon. What if…those dreams, they have ta mean somethin’.”
“They don’t.”
“You don’t mean that. What if, what if they mean you have ta leave… me?”
“I won’t.”
“But what if ya find out…”
“Serena, ain’t gonna happen so drop it already! That shit don’ matta ta me.”
“Liar.”
“Listen ta me! You an’ me…we matta. We’re…we’re foreva. That’s what matta’s.”
Forever. Serena sighed, her fingers tightening around the graceful neck of the bottle. She considered it briefly, one long nail tapping restlessly against the thick glass before she laid it purposefully in the passenger seat and raised the plastic jug to her lips. The Gatorade wasn’t nearly as appeasing as the Jack Daniels would have been, but even she couldn’t ignore the idiocy of losing control now. And Christ but she needed an energy boost! She’d been running on empty ever since the odd, transcendent healing. Cosmic justice, she decided distantly. She deserved the debilitating weakness, deserved to lose her hold on the power that had so greedily stolen the very last of his. She deserved the restless exhaustion and the burning, aching need that was helpless to do anything but exist, a gnawing reminder that she’d be reaching out for him… forever.
“You an’ me… we matta... We’re foreva.”
Reaching, but never touching. She couldn’t really feel him, not anymore, not even in her dreams. And she needed him. Swallowing hard Serena wondered at the painful nature of irony. He’d been bitchin’ at her to stop this for months, his own anger fueling hers, his desperate planning supporting hers, supporting her. And now, without his frustrated demand to back down screaming through her brain, she found herself wanting to… found herself wishing she had.
“This wasn’ supposed ta happen!” Serena shouted, her voice fading into a brief sob before it was swallowed by the night. “This wasn’ supposed ta happen,” she whispered. Not like this. She’d always known that she might not survive her encounter with Rath, but it had never even occurred to her that Zan could ever really be… lost to her. God, she was a fool.
But she couldn’t let it stop her. If anything, this had to strengthen her resolve, had to… become the reason she put up with this life she had to finish. Drawing in a deep, steadying breath, Serena blinked back her tears. Useless fucking things, as useless as the goddamn memories still playing through her mind. Without the strength of their connection, without Zan they were just...empty.
Ava was right.
And the hits just keep on comin’! Serena snorted. It was galling, and entirely too true for her liking, but there it was. Her business wasn’t with the dupes, it had nothing to do with… Max. But she knew she couldn’t take all of them. Not alone. Laughing bitterly, Serena conceded the point. She couldn’t do this alone. And whatever else she’d said, the truth was she’d forgotten what it was to be entirely alone. Alone. She hadn’t been truly alone since she was nine years old. Reaching over, Serena allowed her fingers to drift once more along the cool, shadowed glass of the Jack Daniels bottle. She’d forgotten what it was to feel so cold inside. And almost forgotten what it had done to her the last time.
But Zan, you said we were foreva…
She’d yelled that at his back once before, and she was tempted to scream it to the stars now. But she knew the silence that already surrounded her would be the only response. So instead Serena prayed, prayed as she hadn’t in years for the strength to see this through to the end. Zan deserved that much. And so did she.
A soul in tension that’s learning to fly
Condition grounded, but determined to try
Wrapped in a blanket and utterly alone for the first time in her life, Ava did something she’d been avoiding for months. She thought about Zan.
Zan, who’d been removed from them from the beginning even as he’d taken control and ruled with an iron fist. At first she’d found him as frightening as Lonnie and Rath, more so really, for the coldly controlled disdain he seemed to feel for them. And for her, she acknowledged quietly. As if their presence in his life was the greatest imposition he could imagine, and he really didn’t give two shits about any of ’em. Maybe he didn’t, maybe it was only the looming threat of their protector that kept him in check.
Once their shapeshifter had stopped checking in regularly, Zan had made a habit out of staying away as long as possible. She wondered briefly why he bothered coming back at all. It’s wasn’t like Zan had ever really…liked them. He’d enjoyed baiting Rath, did it with as much enthusiasm as he’d put him in his place, and he reveled in his power over them, just as he fought furiously against the Protectors power over him. But that would hardly keep him coming back, Ava mused sadly. She used to think it was for her, but now… she’d met Serena, and doubted it. It made sense now, that the only flash she’d ever gotten from him had been of blue eyes, Serena’s blue eyes. Those two were alike, she admitted, in so many ways, and Zan clearly preferred…not her. Even still, Ava couldn’t forget that he’d always made the rest of them treat her like a member of the group instead of something to play with. That had to mean something. She just wished she knew what.
Zan had been the only one to take the time to… what, know her? Ava shook her head bitterly. He’d protected her, maybe. Been kind …taken what she’d been told to offer with more gentleness than she’d expected.
And then looked elsewhere for his entertainment, the angry voice in the back of her mind pointed out. It had been building in volume for years, and now it was all she could hear.
He should have stayed away, she told herself. He should have known. Zan had always known before, and always been able to slap Lonnie and Rath back into place.
Why hadn’t he known?
Swallowing hard, Ava wondered what Serena would say, hell what she’d do if she knew the whole truth.
“I ain’t in the mood, little girl.”
“C’mon, Zan…please?” Ava could feel Rath’s eyes on her from across the main room of the crib, reminding her of their last conversation, reminding her of her duty. She had to help them convince Zan to go to that summit, and she couldn’t do that if he disappeared. Again. She had to get him to go because she was as good as dead if he left her alone with Lonnie and Rath. Again. “Please, Zan,” she whispered desperately. “Just help us make the score and then you can go. Don’t leave yet. Please?”
Ava took a shuddering breath. It had been her desperation that forced his hand that night. He’d felt sorry for her, needed to protect her. That wasn’t unusual. But then, neither was the helplessness that had forced hers. It was the same helplessness that forced her hand tonight.
Ava closed her eyes briefly, burrowing further into the comforter. She couldn’t just pick a side, as Serena suggested, not when neither side really wanted her. She was useful to both of them right now, but later… what would happen to her later?
Ava stared at the door, waiting. She was tired, and lost, and so desperate for something to tell her what to do. But there was only silence. So she waited. And wished for the waiting to be over.
Can’t keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted, just an earth-bound misfit, I
There’s little else to do now, but pray.
Max awoke in a cold sweat, the observation whispering through his brain with the electricity of a live wire, painful, hot, insistent. He closed his eyes and then opened them again as the cold fatality of Zahn’s now familiar voice reverberated through his mind, his soul, echoing the futility of lessons learned too late.
Learn. Grow. Arm yourself with the Past. Build the Future.
Heart beating to the strange cadence of the command, Max sat up, half expecting Zahn to be right there speaking sadly of mistakes made and worlds lost. What the hell did it mean? he wondered desperately, shoving out of bed, pushing sleep and the last remnants of Antar from his mind. He knew the answers lay buried somewhere inside… him.
Learn. Grow. Arm yourself with the Past. Build the Future.
Answers. Questions. They were calling to him, whispering of secrets waiting to be unearthed, of an obscure past and a future he never wanted to see the light of day. His heart beat erratically, almost painfully, in his chest. There was something he was supposed to see, something important, something he…couldn’t stand to look at.
Max shook his head, focusing on the carpet beneath his feet, the soft fabric of the sheet clutched in his hand, the coolness of the air on his skin… it wasn’t enough. Closing his eyes, he forced in a deep breath, unable to fight the instinct to reach for her.
Above the planet on a wing and a prayer
My grubby halo, a vapor trail in the empty air
Across the clouds I see my shadow fly
Out of the corner of my watering eye
Restlessly pacing the length of her room, Liz stared out the window, and silently debated her balcony. Tracing the dragon etched on the glass with the tip of her finger, she looked uncertainly at the comforts of a sanctuary she hadn’t been able to bring herself to use since… God, had it only been a few days? It felt like forever. It felt like a moment ago.
With the insistent rush of Max’s healing still sparking through her soul, Liz could almost feel him as if he were just a breath away, instead of lost to her. She clung to the feeling. Please? she begged meekly, please let me keep this moment. She sighed, unsurprised by the silence of the stars winking merrily at her plight.
No more wishing on stars, Liz told herself firmly. Turning from the window, she prowled the perimeter of her room, letting her fingers brush absently over books and cd’s, clothes, a hundred little things that she barely noticed as she tried to counteract the agitated energy firing her blood. She felt like she’d been lit from the inside, animated by some irresistible force that was reckless and secure all at the same time. She recognized the trembling echo of energy from the last time Max had healed her, but this.... God, she had to be glowing.
A small smile played briefly around Liz’s lips as she glanced in the mirror, warm to her toes with the memory of the way he’d healed her at the UFO Center. She’d sensed his surprise over it, over the sheer simplicity of it. And then she’d felt his utter contentment with it. As if healing someone without even deciding to was the most natural thing in the world. Maybe for them it was.
Liz felt her entire being lighten, drawn along in the wake of that warm sense of rightness. She couldn’t help the way her smile widened into a grin, couldn’t help the yearning call she hadn’t been aware of sending until that moment, when she felt the briefest shadow of an answer. Her eyes widened, a hushed awe falling over her soul even as her mind raced, going nowhere as it circled the one place it always seemed to end up. Max. In the silence of her soul she could admit what she never thought to say aloud again, could allow herself one small minute to tell Destiny to go to hell. This was right. They were right.
The smile fell from her face as the minute passed immediately into obscurity. Even through her own misplaced rapture, Liz was well aware that they weren’t supposed to be right.
Liz, what's about to happen over the next few days is critical to the history of this planet. Things between us are about to change... grow deeper. We become inseparable, and nothing comes between us ever again, until...
The end of the world, Liz finished silently, her mind drawn once again to the other thing that had happened in the UFO Center, the thing she’d been avoiding since she’d left Max at the jeep. Suddenly she couldn’t get it out of her head, that strange flash of… memory that hit her before Max had even stepped into the room. And stranger even than getting a flash of herself and Max in the future, was the feeling that accompanied it. Hours later, it still struck her with the same intensity, still echoed with the complete certainty that what she had seen was true.
Max we need her.
It was a fact. Liz knew it, felt it from a place so deep within that she’d only just begun to recognize it, but she knew that Max was hardly going to be inclined to listen. Already, he couldn’t stand Serena, and it was more than just his original indignation over her part in the Future Max thing. It was deeper, harsher, and Liz found that she was suddenly at a loss over how to convince him to give Serena another chance. Because, if she were being honest, she had no rational reason to do so herself. It frightened her suddenly, the sheer guiding possessiveness of a vision that shouldn’t belong to her. Yet, her mind hissed.
Forcing herself to take deep, even breaths, Liz focused desperately on what she’d seen, ignoring the surreality of it in favor of logical, scientific thought. She was fully convinced that if she just looked at this calmly and logically… There’s nothing logical about it, her heart cried out in sudden panic as her mind opened once again to the vision.
The smell of blood and desperation, a bone-numbing exhaustion...
Her deep breaths turned quickly to shallow, panting gasps and Liz shivered, wrapped in the strange desolation that was suddenly stealing across her memory of the vision, making it difficult to focus. It was strangely familiar, but hollow and horrifying, different from the other flash she’d seen. Her eyes burned briefly out of focus as the bleakness haunted her sight, the world outside her door swimming through a filter of unearthly gloom, devoid of… everything. Dark. God it was so dark. And barren and…
Max!
With a sharp gasp, Liz felt reality reshape around her, leaving her trembling and cold. Terrified and reaching.
I dream unthreatened
By the morning light
Could blow this soul right through the roof of the night
There’s no sensation to compare with this
Max forced himself to take deep, even breaths, forced himself to still the exhausted trembling of his limbs, and then forced himself to step back from the window and collapse onto his bed. He couldn’t go to her. His soul pulled taut, barely holding him up as he considered his next course of action. He needed to do… something. What, however, was anyone’s guess. And in the forgotten stretch of time between midnight and morning he wondered if it even mattered. Destiny was calling, shouting, screaming, clutching and grabbing, coming for him as inevitably as the sun was rising. And not even the heated rush of one girl’s soul could offer him refuge.
Suspended animation, a state of bliss
Liz let her hand rest briefly just below her ribs against the ever-present phantom print of Max’s healing, and concentrated. If she closed her eyes she could almost swear… almost feel… him. She bit her lip, trembling in the grip of this new understanding. All this time, every day of the last few months she’d wondered how she was going to go on. How could she ignore the fact that everything she could ever want was right there waiting, simply waiting for her to give in to temptation and reach for it? She knew she couldn’t, not ever, but suddenly that wasn’t the problem. Because everything she’d ever wanted wasn’t simply waiting anymore. It was reaching for her.
Can’t keep my eyes from the circling skies
Serena sighed heavily, her eyes watering as she watched the dawn peek over the horizon, blazing a trail across the heavens as it obliterated the stillness of the stars in a wash of light. Dumping the empty Gatorade jug onto the floor in the backseat, she started the engine and threw the Eldo into gear. So much for actually sleeping in anything besides her clothes, she thought ruefully. She’d have to be ready for anything for just a little while longer. This would all be over soon enough. It had to be.
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I
Ava swallowed hard, her eyes glued to the doorknob, watching it turn as slowly as the knots coiling through her stomach. Until it opened. She closed her eyes, her entire body relaxing back against the headboard as she saw who it was. “I thought you was leavin’, ” she said evenly, opening her eyes.
Serena shrugged lightly. “Changed my mind.”
Ava nodded, watching as Serena closed and locked the door behind her, running one glowing palm over the knob before she moved silently to the other bed. As if she’d always been planning to come back. Ava wanted to scream, but instead she looked away, disgusted by her own relief. At least she wouldn’t be waiting alone. She bit her lip a little as Serena raised her brows over the abundance of light. “I couldn’t sleep,” she said defensively, feeling childish for having turned on every light in the room.
“Lucky you,” Serena murmured dully, waving a hand at the light over the mirror and then at the one resting on the end table between the twin beds, leaving the light spilling from the bathroom and under the thin curtains as comfort. “Get some sleep, we’re gonna try your meetin’ idea again tomorra.”
Ava nodded again, relaxing even further now that she was closer to safety. “We should start wit Liz an’ then…”
“Let’s just start wit Liz.”
“Right.” Studying Serena through the shadows Ava couldn’t stop herself from asking, “You eva plannin’ ta forgive me?”
Serena stared, Ava’s small, little-girl voice grating across nerves already rubbed raw. “For forgettin’ to mention the dupes before now? For plannin’ a double cross? Or for standin’ there an’ watchin’ him die? For doin’ nothin’? For somehow turnin’ his death inta your personal trauma?” For makin Zan feel responsible for your ass? For makin’ me? She asked with a mocking shrug. “Doubt it.”
Ava shook her head mutely and then quietly hazarded, “Not for that. For tellin’ you.”
Oh. For lettin’ me know Zan died for nothin’. Serena considered the blonde briefly. “Doubt it,” she repeated flatly.
**Song used in this part is Pink Floyd's 'Learning to Fly - couldn't resist using it, but I have no rights to the song etc..etc...etc... (too much The King and I when I was little.
)
Into the distance, a ribbon of black
Stretched to the point of no turning back
Ava bit her bottom lip, worrying the piercing between her teeth as she stared out the motel room window into the darkness of the night. It didn’t look like there was anyone out there, but even she wasn’t foolish enough to believe the night was empty. Swallowing hard, she let the curtains close out the view and climbed onto one of the twin beds, wrapping herself in the comforter as she stared at the door. And waited. Waited for whoever would be walking through that door next to seal her fate.
Rath or Serena, Serena or Rath…sighing, Ava wondered if they were really that different. She was exhausted suddenly, tired of balancing herself between them and tired of the double play. Tired of pretending she could do this. And so damn terrified now that she was truly alone. Whatever Serena had convinced her of in the beginning…really, who the fuck was she to aspire to noble, ideals like revenge and justice?
“What’re you gonna do?”
“Ain’t nothin changed, Cotton Candy. I’ma do what I came here ta do,” Serena said coldly, slinging the duffel bag over her shoulder.
Ava stepped in front of her, stopping Serena before she could make it out the door. “Alone? There’s no way you can do this alone. Just calm down an’…”
“You got it all backwards. I aint neva had a problem bein’ alone,” Serena replied softly, moving past Ava and out the door, letting the gentle click of the lock make her point in the silence left behind.
I’m a fool, Ava acknowledged bitterly. As if Serena would ever forget herself long enough to be a friend! She’d made it perfectly clear, even before they’d started this ridiculous quest, that they weren’t friends. They were barely allies.
And after that night… Ava snorted. After that night she should have known they never would be. But the memory of the strange comfort during those first few weeks... How odd was it that Zan’s death had given her the closest thing she’d had to a friend in… God, she couldn’t even remember when. That’s what they’d done to her. And then Serena had lulled her into a false sense of security, made her believe in something that didn’t belong to her. It wasn’t the first time in her life that had happened, and though it had been a comfort then, the shadow of Zan’s responsibility within Serena’s actions seemed more than strange now. And for all Serena’s early solicitousness and protection, all it had taken was one slip and she’d been relegated to barely necessary.
Ava took a deep, steadying breath. As if Serena ever could have cared about her. Shaking her head, Ava admitted, not for the first time, that she should have known better. Whatever she’d thought, whatever she’d been led to believe, she should have known that telling her would change everything.
“What?”
Ava blinked at Serena, surprised by the pained hoarseness of the one word she’d uttered. “I…I just said, ya know that I wish I didn’t have ta rememba seein’ him…I wish I’d known what they was plannin’,” she rushed out as Serena stared at her as if she’d only just remembered she was a stranger.
“You were there? You just…you just let them…you let him die?” Serena breathed.
“No! I, I loved him, More than he ever loved me,” Ava pointed out, watching through her tears as Serena’s expression twisted into one of grim amusement. The guilt Ava had gotten used to was stripped from the other girls expression, replaced with a familiar contempt.
“Loved him?” Serena whispered in harsh disbelief. “Loved him?! You fuckin’ watched. You let them kill him witout raisin’ one goddamn finger.”
“I didn’t have a choice!” Ava cried. ”Listen! They woulda…”
“He act’ally told me…son of a bitch said he couldn’t just leave your ass behind cuz it’d be like leavin’ a kitten in a room full a pit bulls,” Serena glared, ignoring the devastated tears pouring from Ava’s wounded cerulean eyes. “Guess you found your claws,” she observed flatly.
Ava pulled the comforter closer around her shoulders, feeling the chill in the brightness of the room. She hadn’t found her claws. Even now. And that would be her downfall.
Serena shook her head, her fingers clenching dangerously. “Go.”
“No! No, I…I need to do this. For Zan,” Ava said, stubbornly holding her ground. She flinched away from the echo of Serena’s bitter laugh.
“Little late ta be doin’ anythin’ for Zan, no?”
Ava shivered miserably, still a little surprised that Serena hadn’t forced her to leave that night. She hadn’t even continued the argument, hadn’t done anything really except barely tolerate her presence. Just like Zan always had, Ava reminded herself. Like Zan, Serena had let her stick around, like some kind of pet, until tonight when she’d finally just walked away like she was nothing.
A flight of fancy on a windswept field
Standing alone my senses reeled
A fatal attraction is holding me fast
How can I escape this irresistible grasp?
Sitting on the edge of his bed, Max scrubbed at his eyes, fighting a yawn and the exhaustion clawing at his soul. Dropping his head into his hands, he allowed his eyes to close, his shoulders slumping wearily as the events of the evening played out behind closed lids. He wanted so desperately to sleep, but the damn restlessness that had been eating at him all night wanted something else entirely. Someone else entirely. Not that he was surprised. From the moment he’d healed Liz in the UFO Center, hell even before, from the moment he’d seen her, the only thing that existed was the ache of their connection. The hunger moved quickly beyond simple desire in its attempt to thread them together, and even now Max wasn’t completely free of it.
Releasing a long breath, Max felt some of his frustrated exhaustion slip into a gentle comfort as he focused on the last shade of her spirit. It wasn’t enough suddenly, wasn’t the entwined connection of her earlier healing. But then, he’d never felt anything like that before in his life. The intimacy of not being entirely certain where he ended and she began was… beyond anything he’d imagined.
He wanted it back, wanted that moment to last forever. It almost had. Even after taking that half step back, even with just her hand in his, Max could feel his soul-deep recognition of her as a part of himself. And he’d stake his life on having felt the echo of that same thing from Liz. The desire, the need to stay connected to each other, wasn’t his alone. And whatever he’d believed when he’d left her that night after prom… it wasn’t going away.
Max couldn’t help the relieved smile, couldn’t help reveling in an understanding he knew instinctively to be true. And he couldn’t help wondering how the hell they were going to get around it. Because as certain as he was of their connection, he was also pretty damn certain it was going to send Liz into a panic. Not that he was doing so great with it at the moment himself. Had it only been three days, he wondered? He was barely making it 72 hours, how the hell was he supposed to last the rest of his life?
Letting out a frustrated moan, Max fell back against his mattress, and wiped a tired hand across his eyes. God, this whole thing was just… impossible. He felt lightheaded suddenly, unbalanced, as their half-formed connection battled furiously against its own limitations. Even as he battled his, Max acknowledged bleakly, almost smothered by a responsibility that had suddenly become… real.
Serena’s appearance, Ava’s warning…tonight’s entire episode seemed intent on informing him of the immediacy of his duty. Duty to this planet, to Liz, and to a past he could no longer outrun. It shadowed him, heavy and cold. Unyielding in its reminder that his future self’s journey through time hadn’t been a lark, but an attempt to correct…something Max knew he could never consider a mistake.
Linking his hands behind his head, Max focused on the smooth surface of his ceiling, forcing his anxiety to the back of his mind while he tried to at least consider sleeping. But relaxation, he realized with a start, was a dangerous thing. He could already feel the memories tugging at his consciousness with things he didn’t want to know. Portents, like Serena’s sudden appearance, of a Destiny he didn’t want, and couldn’t escape. It was like two opposing forces battled silently for his life, neither willing to give ground, neither retreating. Sighing heavily, Max wondered if he’d ever feel like he wasn’t being cut in half like Solomon’s sacrificial son. And then he wondered if he could ever bear the peace that would come when he finally accepted… this.
If he ever accepted this. Max rolled to his side, punching his pillow angrily as he tried to get comfortable. He wasn’t Michael, he didn’t need to know, didn’t want to know…
This place in Marathon. All those answers that you're looking for. Um...they're just as important to you as they are to Michael, aren't they?
Max closed his eyes. Why was he surprised that she’d been able to see something that, even then, he’d been unwilling to admit to himself? He had wanted to know, and maybe… maybe he still did. But the rest of it… he wasn’t willing to scrap everything he was to live the life of a ghost. The dreams, memories, whatever they were, they weren’t him, he asserted desperately, feeling the words fall away into the cosmos. As certain as he was of their veracity, he was just as certain that those memories weren’t his, not in the way his memories of this life were, not in the way that his connection to Liz was. He paused, exhaling a slow breath. Their unfinished, unbroken connection defined him much more than any past life did. Or ever would.
It wasn’t fair! He felt like a two year old for even thinking it, particularly when his fathers voice whispered through his brain, reminding him that life wasn’t always fair. Sometimes you had to do things you didn’t like simply because they were right. Max shook his head. He knew that, hell he believed that, but this… this was so far beyond right. This situation wasn’t fair to anyone, not Liz, not himself, and not even Tess... Max swallowed hard, feeling his indignation wane with his sudden guilt. Maybe more than anyone else, this situation wasn’t fair to Tess. She was so intent on their Destiny that she was barely aware of him. Surely she deserved more than someone who was with her out of a sense of duty. Wouldn’t she recognize that? Eventually? And what then?
Max sat up, his brows drawing together thoughtfully as he briefly considered calling Tess and explaining this whole mess to her, letting her know that he trusted her with this and valued her opinion and input but…
Right, Evans. Because that’s not the biggest rationalization of your life, Max thought with a snort, lying back down. Even if he were willing to betray Liz’s trust, and he wasn’t… it was too late. He could feel it, the cold, steady encroachment of his future as it reached for his soul, pulling him against his will from who he was into someone he never wanted to be. And isn’t that what you’re really afraid of, a small voice questioned relentlessly, that you’ll find out everything you’ve ever been has meant… nothing.
Fighting the desperate impulse to close his eyes on the reality of his life, Max rolled over onto his stomach, beating his pillow into shapeless submission as he struggled to get the blood pumping through his veins without actually getting out of bed and doing pushups. He was too damned tired. And too damned wary to go to sleep. There was no rest there, no peace. Only Destiny.
Can’t keep my eyes from the circling sky
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I
Ice is forming on the tips of my wings
Unheeded warnings, I thought I thought of everything
No navigator to guide my way home
Unladened, empty and turned to stone
It was colder in the desert than Serena had expected. And emptier, the voyeuristic perusal of a million stars notwithstanding. But as she caught her breath against the memory of her nightmare, she realized that his voice echoed just as loudly through her head here, as it did in the hotel room.
“Zan, c’mon. What if…those dreams, they have ta mean somethin’.”
“They don’t.”
“You don’t mean that. What if, what if they mean you have ta leave… me?”
“I won’t.”
“But what if ya find out…”
“Serena, ain’t gonna happen so drop it already! That shit don’ matta ta me.”
“Liar.”
“Listen ta me! You an’ me…we matta. We’re…we’re foreva. That’s what matta’s.”
Forever. Serena sighed, her fingers tightening around the graceful neck of the bottle. She considered it briefly, one long nail tapping restlessly against the thick glass before she laid it purposefully in the passenger seat and raised the plastic jug to her lips. The Gatorade wasn’t nearly as appeasing as the Jack Daniels would have been, but even she couldn’t ignore the idiocy of losing control now. And Christ but she needed an energy boost! She’d been running on empty ever since the odd, transcendent healing. Cosmic justice, she decided distantly. She deserved the debilitating weakness, deserved to lose her hold on the power that had so greedily stolen the very last of his. She deserved the restless exhaustion and the burning, aching need that was helpless to do anything but exist, a gnawing reminder that she’d be reaching out for him… forever.
“You an’ me… we matta... We’re foreva.”
Reaching, but never touching. She couldn’t really feel him, not anymore, not even in her dreams. And she needed him. Swallowing hard Serena wondered at the painful nature of irony. He’d been bitchin’ at her to stop this for months, his own anger fueling hers, his desperate planning supporting hers, supporting her. And now, without his frustrated demand to back down screaming through her brain, she found herself wanting to… found herself wishing she had.
“This wasn’ supposed ta happen!” Serena shouted, her voice fading into a brief sob before it was swallowed by the night. “This wasn’ supposed ta happen,” she whispered. Not like this. She’d always known that she might not survive her encounter with Rath, but it had never even occurred to her that Zan could ever really be… lost to her. God, she was a fool.
But she couldn’t let it stop her. If anything, this had to strengthen her resolve, had to… become the reason she put up with this life she had to finish. Drawing in a deep, steadying breath, Serena blinked back her tears. Useless fucking things, as useless as the goddamn memories still playing through her mind. Without the strength of their connection, without Zan they were just...empty.
Ava was right.
And the hits just keep on comin’! Serena snorted. It was galling, and entirely too true for her liking, but there it was. Her business wasn’t with the dupes, it had nothing to do with… Max. But she knew she couldn’t take all of them. Not alone. Laughing bitterly, Serena conceded the point. She couldn’t do this alone. And whatever else she’d said, the truth was she’d forgotten what it was to be entirely alone. Alone. She hadn’t been truly alone since she was nine years old. Reaching over, Serena allowed her fingers to drift once more along the cool, shadowed glass of the Jack Daniels bottle. She’d forgotten what it was to feel so cold inside. And almost forgotten what it had done to her the last time.
But Zan, you said we were foreva…
She’d yelled that at his back once before, and she was tempted to scream it to the stars now. But she knew the silence that already surrounded her would be the only response. So instead Serena prayed, prayed as she hadn’t in years for the strength to see this through to the end. Zan deserved that much. And so did she.
A soul in tension that’s learning to fly
Condition grounded, but determined to try
Wrapped in a blanket and utterly alone for the first time in her life, Ava did something she’d been avoiding for months. She thought about Zan.
Zan, who’d been removed from them from the beginning even as he’d taken control and ruled with an iron fist. At first she’d found him as frightening as Lonnie and Rath, more so really, for the coldly controlled disdain he seemed to feel for them. And for her, she acknowledged quietly. As if their presence in his life was the greatest imposition he could imagine, and he really didn’t give two shits about any of ’em. Maybe he didn’t, maybe it was only the looming threat of their protector that kept him in check.
Once their shapeshifter had stopped checking in regularly, Zan had made a habit out of staying away as long as possible. She wondered briefly why he bothered coming back at all. It’s wasn’t like Zan had ever really…liked them. He’d enjoyed baiting Rath, did it with as much enthusiasm as he’d put him in his place, and he reveled in his power over them, just as he fought furiously against the Protectors power over him. But that would hardly keep him coming back, Ava mused sadly. She used to think it was for her, but now… she’d met Serena, and doubted it. It made sense now, that the only flash she’d ever gotten from him had been of blue eyes, Serena’s blue eyes. Those two were alike, she admitted, in so many ways, and Zan clearly preferred…not her. Even still, Ava couldn’t forget that he’d always made the rest of them treat her like a member of the group instead of something to play with. That had to mean something. She just wished she knew what.
Zan had been the only one to take the time to… what, know her? Ava shook her head bitterly. He’d protected her, maybe. Been kind …taken what she’d been told to offer with more gentleness than she’d expected.
And then looked elsewhere for his entertainment, the angry voice in the back of her mind pointed out. It had been building in volume for years, and now it was all she could hear.
He should have stayed away, she told herself. He should have known. Zan had always known before, and always been able to slap Lonnie and Rath back into place.
Why hadn’t he known?
Swallowing hard, Ava wondered what Serena would say, hell what she’d do if she knew the whole truth.
“I ain’t in the mood, little girl.”
“C’mon, Zan…please?” Ava could feel Rath’s eyes on her from across the main room of the crib, reminding her of their last conversation, reminding her of her duty. She had to help them convince Zan to go to that summit, and she couldn’t do that if he disappeared. Again. She had to get him to go because she was as good as dead if he left her alone with Lonnie and Rath. Again. “Please, Zan,” she whispered desperately. “Just help us make the score and then you can go. Don’t leave yet. Please?”
Ava took a shuddering breath. It had been her desperation that forced his hand that night. He’d felt sorry for her, needed to protect her. That wasn’t unusual. But then, neither was the helplessness that had forced hers. It was the same helplessness that forced her hand tonight.
Ava closed her eyes briefly, burrowing further into the comforter. She couldn’t just pick a side, as Serena suggested, not when neither side really wanted her. She was useful to both of them right now, but later… what would happen to her later?
Ava stared at the door, waiting. She was tired, and lost, and so desperate for something to tell her what to do. But there was only silence. So she waited. And wished for the waiting to be over.
Can’t keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted, just an earth-bound misfit, I
There’s little else to do now, but pray.
Max awoke in a cold sweat, the observation whispering through his brain with the electricity of a live wire, painful, hot, insistent. He closed his eyes and then opened them again as the cold fatality of Zahn’s now familiar voice reverberated through his mind, his soul, echoing the futility of lessons learned too late.
Learn. Grow. Arm yourself with the Past. Build the Future.
Heart beating to the strange cadence of the command, Max sat up, half expecting Zahn to be right there speaking sadly of mistakes made and worlds lost. What the hell did it mean? he wondered desperately, shoving out of bed, pushing sleep and the last remnants of Antar from his mind. He knew the answers lay buried somewhere inside… him.
Learn. Grow. Arm yourself with the Past. Build the Future.
Answers. Questions. They were calling to him, whispering of secrets waiting to be unearthed, of an obscure past and a future he never wanted to see the light of day. His heart beat erratically, almost painfully, in his chest. There was something he was supposed to see, something important, something he…couldn’t stand to look at.
Max shook his head, focusing on the carpet beneath his feet, the soft fabric of the sheet clutched in his hand, the coolness of the air on his skin… it wasn’t enough. Closing his eyes, he forced in a deep breath, unable to fight the instinct to reach for her.
Above the planet on a wing and a prayer
My grubby halo, a vapor trail in the empty air
Across the clouds I see my shadow fly
Out of the corner of my watering eye
Restlessly pacing the length of her room, Liz stared out the window, and silently debated her balcony. Tracing the dragon etched on the glass with the tip of her finger, she looked uncertainly at the comforts of a sanctuary she hadn’t been able to bring herself to use since… God, had it only been a few days? It felt like forever. It felt like a moment ago.
With the insistent rush of Max’s healing still sparking through her soul, Liz could almost feel him as if he were just a breath away, instead of lost to her. She clung to the feeling. Please? she begged meekly, please let me keep this moment. She sighed, unsurprised by the silence of the stars winking merrily at her plight.
No more wishing on stars, Liz told herself firmly. Turning from the window, she prowled the perimeter of her room, letting her fingers brush absently over books and cd’s, clothes, a hundred little things that she barely noticed as she tried to counteract the agitated energy firing her blood. She felt like she’d been lit from the inside, animated by some irresistible force that was reckless and secure all at the same time. She recognized the trembling echo of energy from the last time Max had healed her, but this.... God, she had to be glowing.
A small smile played briefly around Liz’s lips as she glanced in the mirror, warm to her toes with the memory of the way he’d healed her at the UFO Center. She’d sensed his surprise over it, over the sheer simplicity of it. And then she’d felt his utter contentment with it. As if healing someone without even deciding to was the most natural thing in the world. Maybe for them it was.
Liz felt her entire being lighten, drawn along in the wake of that warm sense of rightness. She couldn’t help the way her smile widened into a grin, couldn’t help the yearning call she hadn’t been aware of sending until that moment, when she felt the briefest shadow of an answer. Her eyes widened, a hushed awe falling over her soul even as her mind raced, going nowhere as it circled the one place it always seemed to end up. Max. In the silence of her soul she could admit what she never thought to say aloud again, could allow herself one small minute to tell Destiny to go to hell. This was right. They were right.
The smile fell from her face as the minute passed immediately into obscurity. Even through her own misplaced rapture, Liz was well aware that they weren’t supposed to be right.
Liz, what's about to happen over the next few days is critical to the history of this planet. Things between us are about to change... grow deeper. We become inseparable, and nothing comes between us ever again, until...
The end of the world, Liz finished silently, her mind drawn once again to the other thing that had happened in the UFO Center, the thing she’d been avoiding since she’d left Max at the jeep. Suddenly she couldn’t get it out of her head, that strange flash of… memory that hit her before Max had even stepped into the room. And stranger even than getting a flash of herself and Max in the future, was the feeling that accompanied it. Hours later, it still struck her with the same intensity, still echoed with the complete certainty that what she had seen was true.
Max we need her.
It was a fact. Liz knew it, felt it from a place so deep within that she’d only just begun to recognize it, but she knew that Max was hardly going to be inclined to listen. Already, he couldn’t stand Serena, and it was more than just his original indignation over her part in the Future Max thing. It was deeper, harsher, and Liz found that she was suddenly at a loss over how to convince him to give Serena another chance. Because, if she were being honest, she had no rational reason to do so herself. It frightened her suddenly, the sheer guiding possessiveness of a vision that shouldn’t belong to her. Yet, her mind hissed.
Forcing herself to take deep, even breaths, Liz focused desperately on what she’d seen, ignoring the surreality of it in favor of logical, scientific thought. She was fully convinced that if she just looked at this calmly and logically… There’s nothing logical about it, her heart cried out in sudden panic as her mind opened once again to the vision.
The smell of blood and desperation, a bone-numbing exhaustion...
Her deep breaths turned quickly to shallow, panting gasps and Liz shivered, wrapped in the strange desolation that was suddenly stealing across her memory of the vision, making it difficult to focus. It was strangely familiar, but hollow and horrifying, different from the other flash she’d seen. Her eyes burned briefly out of focus as the bleakness haunted her sight, the world outside her door swimming through a filter of unearthly gloom, devoid of… everything. Dark. God it was so dark. And barren and…
Max!
With a sharp gasp, Liz felt reality reshape around her, leaving her trembling and cold. Terrified and reaching.
I dream unthreatened
By the morning light
Could blow this soul right through the roof of the night
There’s no sensation to compare with this
Max forced himself to take deep, even breaths, forced himself to still the exhausted trembling of his limbs, and then forced himself to step back from the window and collapse onto his bed. He couldn’t go to her. His soul pulled taut, barely holding him up as he considered his next course of action. He needed to do… something. What, however, was anyone’s guess. And in the forgotten stretch of time between midnight and morning he wondered if it even mattered. Destiny was calling, shouting, screaming, clutching and grabbing, coming for him as inevitably as the sun was rising. And not even the heated rush of one girl’s soul could offer him refuge.
Suspended animation, a state of bliss
Liz let her hand rest briefly just below her ribs against the ever-present phantom print of Max’s healing, and concentrated. If she closed her eyes she could almost swear… almost feel… him. She bit her lip, trembling in the grip of this new understanding. All this time, every day of the last few months she’d wondered how she was going to go on. How could she ignore the fact that everything she could ever want was right there waiting, simply waiting for her to give in to temptation and reach for it? She knew she couldn’t, not ever, but suddenly that wasn’t the problem. Because everything she’d ever wanted wasn’t simply waiting anymore. It was reaching for her.
Can’t keep my eyes from the circling skies
Serena sighed heavily, her eyes watering as she watched the dawn peek over the horizon, blazing a trail across the heavens as it obliterated the stillness of the stars in a wash of light. Dumping the empty Gatorade jug onto the floor in the backseat, she started the engine and threw the Eldo into gear. So much for actually sleeping in anything besides her clothes, she thought ruefully. She’d have to be ready for anything for just a little while longer. This would all be over soon enough. It had to be.
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I
Ava swallowed hard, her eyes glued to the doorknob, watching it turn as slowly as the knots coiling through her stomach. Until it opened. She closed her eyes, her entire body relaxing back against the headboard as she saw who it was. “I thought you was leavin’, ” she said evenly, opening her eyes.
Serena shrugged lightly. “Changed my mind.”
Ava nodded, watching as Serena closed and locked the door behind her, running one glowing palm over the knob before she moved silently to the other bed. As if she’d always been planning to come back. Ava wanted to scream, but instead she looked away, disgusted by her own relief. At least she wouldn’t be waiting alone. She bit her lip a little as Serena raised her brows over the abundance of light. “I couldn’t sleep,” she said defensively, feeling childish for having turned on every light in the room.
“Lucky you,” Serena murmured dully, waving a hand at the light over the mirror and then at the one resting on the end table between the twin beds, leaving the light spilling from the bathroom and under the thin curtains as comfort. “Get some sleep, we’re gonna try your meetin’ idea again tomorra.”
Ava nodded again, relaxing even further now that she was closer to safety. “We should start wit Liz an’ then…”
“Let’s just start wit Liz.”
“Right.” Studying Serena through the shadows Ava couldn’t stop herself from asking, “You eva plannin’ ta forgive me?”
Serena stared, Ava’s small, little-girl voice grating across nerves already rubbed raw. “For forgettin’ to mention the dupes before now? For plannin’ a double cross? Or for standin’ there an’ watchin’ him die? For doin’ nothin’? For somehow turnin’ his death inta your personal trauma?” For makin Zan feel responsible for your ass? For makin’ me? She asked with a mocking shrug. “Doubt it.”
Ava shook her head mutely and then quietly hazarded, “Not for that. For tellin’ you.”
Oh. For lettin’ me know Zan died for nothin’. Serena considered the blonde briefly. “Doubt it,” she repeated flatly.
**Song used in this part is Pink Floyd's 'Learning to Fly - couldn't resist using it, but I have no rights to the song etc..etc...etc... (too much The King and I when I was little.
)The fact that we are fools is duly noted...
But must that be our epitaph?
-SRC
I'd be an idiot if I weren't less than pleased about being doomed.
- Warren Zevon
But must that be our epitaph?
-SRC
I'd be an idiot if I weren't less than pleased about being doomed.
- Warren Zevon
Hey all –
Quick fly-by post here, since I am of course working hard.
Just wanted to say thanks for reading. I know it’s been rough, and just as a light at the end of the tunnel kinda thing…this chapter serves as the beginning of the upswing (for Max and Liz anyway, Serena's got a ways to go). Things are gonna start to snowball from here sooo, without further ado – Part 15.
Hope you like,
Pathos
**********Part 15*************
“You look tired.”
Liz gritted her teeth. “Maria…”
Maria shrugged innocently. “What? I’m just saying…”
“Just don’t,” Liz suggested sharply. She closed her locker slowly, the careful action doing little to block the annoying grate of metal on metal from reverberating through her skull. Damn headache. Turning to Maria she quickly changed the subject. “Did anyone tell Alex about…”
“So, I heard last night was a real blast.”
“Apparently someone did,” Maria muttered, forgetting her concern over the dark circles under Liz’s eyes to glare over her shoulder. “Alex, that is so not funny.”
Liz shook her head at Alex when he turned his whipped puppy expression on her. “Don’t look at me,” she told him. “I agree with Maria.”
Slinging an arm around each of his best friends shoulders, Alex guided them toward the open double doors leading to the Quad, absolutely refusing to give up his good mood. He was planning to enjoy this lunch meeting. “You look tired,” he told Liz critically, taking a quick step back and holding his hands up in surrender when she stopped to glare at him. “But beautiful. Tired, but beautiful,” he offered with a nod.
Liz sighed, squinting painfully into the sunlight. Last night’s sleeplessness had left her both exhausted and on edge, her mind still swimming with things she couldn’t explain. She closed her eyes momentarily, battling a lingering disorientation as she tried to force herself to relax. This was just like any other emergency meeting they’d ever had, Liz told herself, watching Alex and Maria join the rest of the group. Only it wasn’t.
Max rolled his shoulders restlessly. He should be paying more attention. He had been paying more attention, but over the last few minutes Michael’s rant had progressively faded until a familiar anticipation was all he knew. Before he even turned around, he knew she’d be there.
Backing up a step, Liz swallowed against the cold echo of last night’s vision as it rolled through her stomach. She wanted to run, but just then Max turned to look at her, his eyes finding hers as if he’d sensed her sudden reticence to join him. And she couldn’t seem to make herself move.
Liz exhaled roughly. It was too easy, she thought frantically, too easy to meet his gaze, to do as he silently requested and reach for a connection she shouldn’t acknowledge…a connection she couldn’t help but acknowledge.
Against a will worn thin Liz felt her soul seek his, desperate to feel more than just the frustrating shadow of what she knew their connection could be. Her breath came faster as her longing brushed inevitably against his, sparking something that could only pull them deeper.
“Team meeting,” Kyle reminded, slapping Liz lightly on the back as he passed. He paused for a second, his brows knitting together as he studied her face. “You ok?”
Liz shook her head, the world titling back into focus and leaving her feeling claustrophobic. She couldn’t do this, not today. She was too damn tired. And her head was pounding too damned much, and she was…too damn attuned to Max. She chewed uneasily on her bottom lip, already feeling guilty for the rush of panic that still insisted on retreat. She could see Tess’s attention shifting from whatever Michael was saying to the way Max was staring at her…they way they were staring at each other.
She had to get out of here.
Only she couldn’t seem to make herself move. Not until Max looked away, letting her off the hook even as his shoulders sagged in resigned understanding. She hesitated for one painful heartbeat and then headed back into the building. “Tell Max I’m going to check the blood from the apron,” she said to Kyle, barely pausing for his nod as she headed for the Bio Lab. “I’ll catch up with him in Trig.”
**************************
Max turned back to the table, feeling Liz’s retreat in everything from the warmth of the breeze to the coolness of his soul’s disappointment. He wanted nothing more than to go after her, but he guessed that would only force her to run faster. Swallowing a heavy sigh, he nodded impatiently at both Michael and Kyle when they continued to regard him in silence.
“Max?”
“I heard you. Liz is checking the apron,” Max parroted back to Kyle.
“Well, great I’ve done my bid for King and country. Can I go now?” Kyle asked, feeling strangely uncomfortable when Tess moved closer to Max so that he could sit down. His temper flared, almost as if he were…jealous. Which he definitely wasn’t. At all. Really, he decided, his eyes darkening in confusion.
“Kyle, come on…” Tess said softly, tugging on his arm. “Just sit down, ok?”
“Fine,” Kyle agreed ungraciously, sliding into the seat next to Tess and drumming his fingers anxiously against the table when she slipped further away.
“Great,” Max muttered under his breath, forcing himself not to move away when Tess shifted closer, plastering herself against his side to give Kyle more room.
“Maxwell!”
“I heard you, too, Michael,” Max snapped, shoving his half eaten sandwich back into the paper bag. Chicken salad just wasn’t gonna do it right now.
“And?” Michael demanded.
Max opened his mouth and then closed it again, suddenly realizing that he hadn’t heard what Michael said.
Michael sighed. “Did Brody say anything?” he repeated tightly.
“I called him after I saw the news this morning. He’s decided to take the, uh, ‘break-in’ as a sign that we need to do a complete inventory and remodel the Center before the first wave of tourists invade,” Max said wryly. For the next few weeks he was going to be hip deep in everything alien…in more ways than one. Idly he wondered if there was any chance of the mothership coming for him before he had to catalogue Brody’s extensive Crop Circle files. He snorted. With his luck he’d be cross referencing them with every sighting known to man.
Michael shrugged. “Sucks to be you. Did he say if the police had any suspects?”
“Not any of the short, brunette variety, no. Although your name did come up,” Max mentioned.
“How come everyone wants to blame me?” Michael muttered.
Max raised a brow. “Well, technically you were there, Michael,” he drawled.
“I wasn’t the only one. And I was just defending myself. She tried to blow me up, remember?”
“Which still doesn’t make any sense to me,” Isabel said slowly.
“It’s Michael.” Kyle pointed out innocently. “Who doesn’t want to blow him up on occasion?”
Isabel rolled her eyes, but otherwise ignored Kyle. “I wish we had…”
“More information?” Max finished sardonically. He shrugged in tired exasperation when his sister nodded at him. Why was getting more information only a good idea when someone other than himself thought of it, he wondered caustically.
Alex sat up straighter, shoving his lunch aside as he cleared his throat. “I, uh…I might be able to help with that actually. The information thing, not Michael’s diplomacy issues,” he clarified when everyone at the table turned to look at him.
“Hey, this isn’t my issue,” Michael pointed out. “She’s the one…”
“Michael, shhh,” Isabel ordered, before turning a bright smile on Alex. She’d known he was the one to go to this morning. “Go on Alex.”
“Thanks,” Alex said, smiling widely before Kyle’s mocking snort of laughter sobered him. “Anyway…Isabel filled me in this morning so I did a little research,” he said, pulling out a manila folder and ignoring Maria’s pointed glare. He already knew that he’d gone against ‘Project: Thaw the Ice Princess’ by doing Isabel’s bidding, but…what was he supposed to do when she looked at him like that?
“I had my computer lab 2nd and 3rd ,” Alex explained, wondering if that was going to save him from a lecture later on. One look at Maria’s face told him no, but when he glanced over at Isabel, he decided that he didn’t care. “Anyway, I did a google search and once I realized that Serena Fallon really was her name, well…the police database was easier to get into than I thought.”
“She has a record?” Max asked. “Why am I not surprised?”
Alex nodded. “Oh yeah. She definitely has a record,” he said, handing Max a copy of the report he’d found.
I take it back, Max thought grimly, scanning the report. I am surprised.
“You weren’t kidding about that record,” Maria said, her brows raised as she glanced at the sheet Alex was now passing around the table.
Michael let out a low whistle. “Loitering, petty theft, possession…arson?!”
Kyle let out a snort of laughter. “She’s been busy,” he said. “Are you sure she’s only 17?”
“And why would you set a morgue on fire?” Isabel asked, her nose wrinkling at the thought.
Michael glared when her eyes fell on him. “How would I know?”
Alex swallowed uncomfortably. “I should probably point out that she was only questioned in the arson, and the other charges were all, um, dropped. Technically, she’s never been convicted of anything. And really, that’s not what’s interesting.”
Michael blinked. “She’s got a record longer than mine and that’s not what’s interesting?” he questioned.
“Nope. Check this out. Our new friend is a certified genius.”
Michael snorted. “Says who?”
“The Stanford Binet and Wechsler Intelligence tests for one. She scored off the chart,” Alex replied. “When I did that search I found an article about the foster care system in New York…”
“What does the foster care system in New York have to do with this?”
“I’m getting there,” Alex said, glaring at Michael. “Anyway, this article was all about how kids were falling through the cracks in the system and there was a whole section on Serena, ” he explained, searching through his folder for a copy of the article. “She’d been in foster care since she was nine but no one bothered to test her until she twelve and there was a whole bunch of publicity around it, but…well, here’s where it gets interesting.” Alex said pausing to relish everyone’s rapt attention. Especially Isabel’s.
“Hey, Alex,” Michael said impatiently. “Can we move this along?”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry,” Alex said, giving in when he realized that he was losing his audience. Even Isabel was beginning to look a little annoyed with the buildup. “So…ok, check this out. New York’s DCF has absolutely no record of Serena Fallon ever being in foster care.”
Tess shrugged, beginning to feel uncomfortable with this whole conversation. Too much had happened in New York, and she still didn’t have any idea what the hell her dupe was doing in town. “Maybe the article was wrong,” she suggested lightly.
“I’ve got five. All from different sources,” Alex replied, turning to meet Tess’s eyes.
“Oh.” Tess subsided, silently cursing herself for playing with Alex’s crush instead of just burning it from his mind.
Max pulled in a slow breath, unsettled by the strangely charged look passing between Tess and Alex. He turned to Tess, wondering at the pique that straightened her spine, leaving her tense and motionless against his side.
“That’s what you get for arguing with a geek,” Kyle said, patting Tess’s shoulder in sarcastic consolation. “They come with footnotes.”
Tess rolled her eyes and relaxed. “I’ll have to remember that.”
Max shook his head as the group laughed at Kyle’s joke. I must be more tired than I thought, he decided warily. That cold flash of paranoia was a bit much, even for him.
Maria cleared her throat. “Alex, don’t take this the wrong way but…what does all that have to do with her coming to Roswell and trying to kill Michael?” Maria asked.
“I’m not entirely sure,” Alex admitted. “But I’m guessing it probably has something to do with this kid. And DCF has no record of him ever being in foster care, either,” Alex said, laying down a copy of the newspaper photo he’d printed from the net and pointing at the boy clearly visible just over Serena’s left shoulder.
“Oh my God. Max that’s you,” Isabel breathed out, leaning in for a closer look.
Max stared, paranoia forgotten as he looked down at…himself. Fighting for a Future. The caption hit just a little too close to home, but then again, everything about Serena hit a little too close to home. And it wasn’t just Serena. In fact, he decided, it wasn’t Serena at all. The haircut was different from the one he’d had when he was twelve, but the resemblance between him and Zan was close enough to… vaguely unsettled, Max looked away, unable to stop himself from wondering if his mother would have been able to tell the difference between them. Or Liz…
Isabel looked at her brother, suddenly remembering how disquieting Lonnie’s existence was. “Lots of people have twins,” she murmured.
“Yeah,” Max agreed softly. “But he’s not my twin. He’s my clone.”
“Or you’re his.” Kyle suggested
Max glared.
Tess shook her head, laying a hand on Max’s forearm to halt the argument that was brewing. “Max is King,” she said firmly. “He…Zan’s the clone.”
Max swallowed hard. Fabulous! Max is King. Now if only Max had some idea of how to make that work in his favor, he thought with agitated sarcasm. Tess’s proclamation was little comfort, but he forced himself to offer her a brief smile before he returned his attention to Alex. It wasn’t her fault that he didn’t see their divine right quite the same way she did.
“I guess it makes some sense…” Maria began, studying the copy of the photo over Michael’s shoulder and ignoring Kyle and Max. “I mean, Ava did say that Serena wanted to kill Rath because he’d killed Zan,” she pointed out thoughtfully.
Michael turned to stare at his girlfriend. “Don’t tell me you’re going to start defending her now, too.”
“I’m not defending anyone, I’m just saying... if they were close…” Maria shrugged guiltily and looked away from Michael’s narrowed eyes. Liz would just have to take this one on her own.
“Oh, they were close.” Alex piped up. “One of the reporters interviewed their case worker, you know, about the relationships foster kids develop in group homes and…right….” Alex jumped back to the pertinent information quickly, beginning to wonder if Michael had the power to actually glare him off the bench. “Anyway, according to the case worker, Serena and Zan were so close they suffered from 'an unhealthy attachment' to one another, but there’s no real detail in the article,” he grumbled. “And DCF, which should have the details, doesn’t even think they exist. I looked up the case worker’s name and she’s legit, but Serena and Zan…it’s like someone just went in and erased their files or something.”
“Who’d want to do that?” Isabel asked uneasily, already certain she didn’t want to know and growing even more upset when her only answer was Alex’s sympathetic shrug.
Maria nodded. “And what the hell is an unhealthy attachment?”
“Means they were too close,” Kyle said helpfully.
“Thank you,” Maria muttered sarcastically before turning back to Alex. “What else did you find?”
“Nothing. There was nothing else there. I’m lucky that whoever crashed their files missed the articles.”
“And the record,” Max pointed out. He sighed heavily. Why was it that for every piece of information they got, twice as many questions popped up?
“Ok, as interesting as this is, it’s not getting us anywhere. Zan’s dead and Serena isn’t leading a race of people trying to kill us. What about the Skins?” Michael asked impatiently.
Alex glared. “Thank you, Alex. Thank you for wasting two class periods committing a felony by hacking into a police database. Don’t worry about it, Michael, I don’t mind going to prison for 5-10 years if I get caught, as long as you’re safe, I mean…” Alex fell silent, shocked when Isabel rested her hand briefly over his. Giddily he wondered if the gentle squeeze of her fingers would leave him speechless for the rest of the day.
“Thank you, Alex,” Isabel whispered.
Tess rolled her eyes. Just when she thought she’d actually convinced him to grow a pair, she thought derisively. All it took was one look from Isabel and Alex Whitman was a stuttering mess. She studied Max from beneath her lowered lashes. Why was it that sensitive men never managed to grow a spine?
“Thank you, Alex,” Michael mimicked. “Now can we talk about the Skins?”
And then there was Michael. Tess could almost feel his temper begin to boil over when he thought he was being ignored. She was pretty damn sure that he wasn’t going to let this go until Max acknowledged his point. No matter how many times Maria smacked him in the arm. Damn it, she didn’t need this right now. But she didn’t need these idiots stumbling onto anything by accident, either. She had a job to do, a job she couldn’t afford not to do, she reminded herself. And it’s not like she’d ever had a problem steering the conversation before. “Max, I…I hate to agree with Michael but…what are we gonna do about the Skins?”
“I really don’t know,” Max said quietly, wincing at the pained breath Maria and his sister inhaled at his admission. And the continued silence from the rest of the group only seemed to emphasize his helplessness.
“Maxwell.”
“Look, you’re right, ok? I know we can’t just ignore them anymore.” Max ground out, holding Michael’s gaze. “But we can’t go looking for a fight at the moment, either. We’ll lose,” he finished bluntly.
“I thought the Skins were gone,” Maria reminded them, panic beginning to color her voice.
Max shook his head, feeling the heaviness from last night returning to weigh against his soul. “Nicholas was alive and well in New York. I don’t know how he survived the fire but he did.” His eyes narrowed as he thought back to that fire. It should have meant the Skins’s demise. “You said you didn’t really mean for everything to explode like that,” he began pensively, turning to Tess. “What do you remember about how it happened? What’d you do?”
“Well?” Michael prodded, surprised when Tess remained silent.
Shit. That wasn’t quite what she’d meant by ‘steering the conversation’. Tess shrugged, struggling against her own nervousness to add a touch of innocence to her features. Her eyes widened and she looked from Max to Kyle and then back again, relaxing as her mind formulated another diversion. “I’m sorry, Max, I thought…I thought he was really dead,” she said softly, letting out a relieved breath when Kyle straightened protectively next to her. Just turn their attention, she thought, focusing Kyle’s underlying jealousy and frustration, watching it escalate until he couldn’t remain silent.
“You act like it’s her fault, Max. You out to be thanking her for saving your ass and instead you want to blame her?” Kyle burst out in disbelief. “I don’t remember hearing about any one of you actually doing anything when…”
“Ok, relax, no one’s blaming Tess.” Max hissed, glancing over his shoulder at the rest of the student body. Yet, even when he’d assured himself that no one had heard Kyle’s outburst, an unusual vulnerability lingered, almost as if he were being watched, assessed. And found wanting. Jaw clenched, Max turned back to Tess, his anger softening at the shadow of guilt and responsibility he read in her blue eyes. “I know it’s not your fault,” he told her softly. “You did what you had to do.”
You did what you had to do. The words sent a cold shiver through her entire body. “I…know,” Tess choked out, wondering if he’d ever understand how right he was.
Max nodded, frowning slightly as he wondered about Tess’s nervousness. It was out of character, if not out of place, and it was making him even more uneasy. “I’m just trying to figure out how he could have survived. And how many survived with him,” Max finished grimly.
Michael nodded. “And how to make sure they don’t survive the next time,” he added. “We need to be ready to defend ourselves.”
“Yeah,” Max agreed softly. “We do.” He looked at Tess. “Have you tried to do it again?”
Like I asked, Tess finished silently, offering a stilted nod, and hoping it was the right answer.
“And?” Michael pressed curiously.
“I…I couldn’t do it.”
Maria blinked, surprised to hear the alien admit that there was something she couldn’t do. “Why not?”
Tess swallowed, feeling her heart beating painfully against her ribs as she searched for an excuse that would actually make sense. And then her eyes fell on Alex. Useful, oblivious Alex. “It…it could have been a mindwarp,” she offered slowly. “I told you Nicholas was strong, the strongest mind I’ve ever come across. I guess it’s possible…maybe…maybe he turned my own warp against me, somehow.” It wasn’t even a lie, not completely, she rationalized, her temper flaring over her strange need to bother. They’d done this to themselves, she reminded herself, ducking Max’s suddenly sympathetic gaze.
“Ok,” Max said gently, trying to ease some of Tess’s obvious apprehension. “We’ll figure it out, but at least this gives us a place to start.”
He’s trying to make me crazy, Tess thought flatly, her temper flaring unfairly over his understanding. What the hell was he doing, being what she needed now? It was too late, and it wasn’t fair! She shook her head, forcing a serene smile to her lips. Focus. Focus on the nice save, and focus on a way to use Max’s sympathy against him. “Right,” she murmured.
Max sighed, noticing that everyone was back to looking at him.
“Great, we have a place to start, but what are we going to do?”
“We need more information before we go looking for a fight, Michael.”
Tess hid a derisive sneer. And there’s the Max we all know and love. Don’t walk into the fight, just stand there and wait for it to come to you. All the better for her, she reminded herself.
“So what? We’re just gonna wait?” Michael asked incredulously.
“Just until we have some idea about what the Skins are up to. Ava said she’d be in touch, just give it some time…”
“What if we don’t have anymore time?” Michael challenged quietly, feeling Maria stiffen beside him, though she remained silent. They all did, and he felt a small thrill of triumph when he realized that he’d just voiced what they were all thinking.
Max had never been so grateful for the first bell. “We wait,” he said stubbornly, standing up to avoid furthering the argument. “For now we just…”
“Act normal.” Michael finished. “Whatever.”
Max watched as Michael stormed away, Maria at his heels while Isabel, Alex and Kyle headed in the opposite direction to their own classes. He didn’t miss the fearful, angry looks they shot him before they left. What else was new?
Tess hesitated, too aware of the tension to pass up the opportunity that had just been handed to her. “Max they just don’t understand…”
“It’s fine, Tess.” Max said shortly, nodding after Kyle. “You’re going to be late.”
“You said act normal, I’m always late for math.”
Max blinked, staring uncertainly at Tess’ serious features, and then he laughed, surprised when she lost the battle to keep a straight face and giggled with him. “I’m glad someone knows how to follow orders,” he said, clearing his throat and tensing with the same exposed vulnerability as before. The feeling only increased as the other students returned to class, leaving them alone with nothing but expectation between them.
“Yes sir,” Tess replied cheekily, determinedly ignoring the warmth of his laughter. “And really…Maria’s muttering to herself, Alex is drooling after Isabel, and Michael’s glowering at people…it doesn’t get more normal than that.”
Max ducked his head. “Yeah, I uh, I guess it doesn’t.” He collected the garbage from their aborted lunch, forcing himself to smile at Tess when she stooped to help. “I should probably get going…”
Tess nodded. “It’s going to be fine, Max,” she said, surprising herself as much as Max with the reassurance. What the hell was wrong with her today?
Max nodded, feeling guilty for his sudden, all encompassing desire to be alone, or at the very least away from his…bride. “I know.” He watched her hesitate for a moment before turning to leave and sighed silently over the disappointment he’d read in her eyes. What was wrong with him today? He was snapping at everyone. “Tess…thanks,” he offered softly, when she looked back at him, her brows raised in question.
Tess smiled. “You’re welcome,” she said, “I’m gonna go…act normal.”
Max nodded. “Sounds like a plan,” he murmured, turning quickly and heading for class. He felt unaccountably lighter as he headed to Trig.
*******************
Coming to a halt, Max bit his lip and silently wondered what the hell he was doing. He should keep walking. He knew he should, just like he knew that she didn’t need his help. It was a simple thing, studying a blood sample. As simple as walking, in fact. Which he should be doing. He should head to class and wait for her to get there and tell him what she’d found. He really should.
Sighing, Max wrapped his fingers around the knob and silently unlocked the door. To hell with walking, he decided, feeling the stress of the last hour beginning to fall away as he watched her. He’d never realized how calming it was, seeing Liz bent over a microscope, chewing at her bottom lip as she tried to glare whatever was on the slide into making sense. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d watched her do that. Or the number of times he’d longed to reach out and brush that stray wisp of hair from her face.
Max took a step forward and then stopped, deciding he should probably keep the lab table between them. “Find anything?” he asked softly, his knuckles whitening around the edge of the desk.
Liz straightened slowly. She wasn’t surprised by Max’s presence, but as an almost electric shock of awareness swept her system, she began to wonder if she’d been waiting for him all along. Liz took a deep breath, struggling against her immediate need to be closer. She ought to be grateful, she supposed, that he was standing on the other side of the desk. “Nothing that shouldn’t be there,” she said softly, gathering the slide and apron together before slanting him a glance. “Disappointed?”
Max shook his head. “I didn’t want her to be an enemy, Liz,” he averred quietly, not completely sure that was true.
“But you don’t trust her, do you?”
Max watched Liz ball up the bloody apron and then slide it across the desk, her nervousness apparent in the hasty step back she took when his fingers brushed against hers across the metallic colored cloth. “Why should I trust her?” he muttered, his own anxiety ratcheting up a notch with the all too brief flare of their connection. Forcing a breath into his lungs he removed the blood stains then swiped a hand over the slide as well. At least they’d learned to cover their tracks, he thought, sliding the alien head back across the table and feeling a strange challenge spark his blood when he saw Liz hesitate before grabbing the material.
“You didn’t answer my question,” Max reminded her.
Liz took a deep breath and steadied herself. Even the light brush of Max’s fingers had been enough to show her how unsettled he was after the meeting. But it was the look in his eyes that was doing a fine job of unsettling her. “We trusted her once.”
“I’m not so sure that was one of our better decision.”
“Why, did you find out she based all her time travel theories on Quantum Leap?” Liz asked lightly. She forced herself to look away, but when the joke fell flat, her eyes were immediately drawn back to Max’s somber gaze. And then he looked away. “Max?”
Max looked up, watching the uneasy curiosity play out across Liz’s tense features. He’d known last night that she’d felt the need to defend Serena, and now, as much as he wanted to be right about not trusting her, Max suddenly wanted to not disappoint Liz even more. But he knew he couldn’t avoid it. “Liz, she has a record.”
“For what?”
“Possession, theft…arson.” Max reported, watching Liz’s uneasiness play out across her expressive features as he fought the need to reach for her. He knew he couldn’t, but the urge to do so, to be more than simply near her seemed to grow exponentially the longer they remained apart. He shoved his hands in his pockets, absently noting the way Liz was clinging to the straps of her backpack. His breath came a little easer as he wondered if she was having as much trouble not reaching for him. “Liz? Say something.”
“I…wow.”
“Wow?” Max asked incredulously, watching Liz visibly struggling to find some rational reason to trust Serena despite her criminal tendencies. “You’re not serious…”
Liz took one look at his disbelieving expression and began to pace, needing to do something with all her nervous energy. The hard set of Max’s features said it all. He didn’t want to hear any excuses for Serena’s behavior, he didn’t want to hear about her at all. Unfortunately, Liz couldn’t let this go. “People make…mistakes,” she began lamely.
“Mistakes? Liz, she burned down a morgue…and I don’t know why!” Max snapped, the spark of his temper taking even him by surprise. He was too close to her, and too far away. And it was all just too damned much! He ducked his head when Liz stopped mid-pace to stare at him, clearly taken aback by his annoyance. “Ok, let’s just both stay calm,” he suggested.
Liz nodded, her anxiety doing a slow roll through her stomach even as his temper goaded hers with an intensity that left a static trail across her skin. “Let’s,” she agreed tightly, resuming her pacing.
Max sighed, his frustration tempered with his sudden, clear sense of her…fear. Something was wrong. And she was afraid to tell him what. His anger faded and he stepped around the table before he even realized what he was doing. “I’m sorry,” he said, his fingers curling against his palm in an effort not to reach out and pull her to a stop. “I…why don’t you tell me why you want to trust someone you’ve met for all of ten seconds.” Not the most diplomatic way of asking, he supposed, but then he already knew the answer. Max looked away, letting the silence stretch out as he waited to hear the words ‘You told me’ or ‘Your future self said’ or…
“That’s not why Max,” Liz said softly.
Max blinked, looking up to find Liz still, and watching him. And closer than he’d expected. “Then why?”
“I don’t…this doesn’t make any sense,” Liz warned, feeling some part of herself flirting with the idea of moving closer, though she’d yet to move.
Max took a deep breath. It didn’t make any sense. So what else was new? “Try me,” he suggested wryly.
“I got, I got this flash like…from the future,” Liz said miserably, well aware of how that sounded.
“You got a flash? From him?” Max asked, keeping his voice purposefully low. He’d understood Liz’s hurt feelings the first time he’d mentioned getting a flash with Tess, or thought he had, but now…flashes belonged to them. Them, not…
“It wasn’t him, not really. I mean, when he was here he was barely close enough to touch me. And when we danced I just got this…weird sense of him, no real flashes.” Lifting her eyes to his, Liz felt herself falling into him with an immediacy that would have been frightening, if it hadn’t been what she’d needed all along. “Last night, completely out of the blue Max, I just got this flash of, of the two of us. From the future,” she finished in a whisper.
Max forgot his jealousy in the wave of dread he could feel slowly overtaking Liz’s soul, ebbing and flowing with every breath she took. She didn’t understand this, didn’t know if he’d accept it, and it was scaring her to death.
“I’m sorry,” Liz said quickly, misinterpreting his stillness. “I’m sorry I’m so I’m scared, but…”
She was going to look away. Max knew it almost before she did, and his stomach clenched in reaction. But then she didn’t and his whole being warmed in reaction. It was a curious intimacy, the feel of her intentions shifting in direct response to what he was feeling, and it left him humbled, secure even in the midst of his uncertainty. “You’re allowed to be scared, Liz. I understand that, I do, just…trust me to…” To what, exactly? To be confused right along with you? “Just don’t…just let me help,” he whispered helplessly.
Liz exhaled roughly. He thought she was going to run, she could feel it as easily as she could feel his own instinctive wish to retreat. Only he couldn’t. And even if the thought had occurred to her more than once, she couldn’t run now to save her life. Liz nodded silently, falling deeper into the warmth that seemed always to exist between them now. It was amazing, and as real as their heartbeat. The cold fear she’d been fighting since midnight faded with the first gossamer threads of reassurance. Everything was going to be ok. “Ok.”
Ok. Two little letters. Ok. Max felt himself relaxing for the first time in what felt like months, and it left him almost giddy. “Ok,” he repeated, forcing himself to focus. “Ok. So…let’s think about this. How do you know that what you saw was from the future?”
Liz took a steadying breath, feeling herself relax as Max’s calm resolve steadied her own frayed nerves. This was going to be fine, she wasn’t alone. He may as well have been saying it out loud. “Um, I could tell by your hair, it was long, like when he came back.” Liz replied, concentrating on what she’d seen. “And mine was…short.”
“Ok, so clearly it’s a sign that you should never cut your hair,” Max joked lightly, rewarded by her wry smile and the slow easing of her tension, not to mention his own.
“And you should? Max this is serious,” Liz said, rolling her eyes, but offering a small smile nonetheless. If he could be standing there not freaking out she supposed she could do the same.
“I know,” Max reassured her. “Go on, did you touch something maybe that he touched while he was here?”
“I don’t think so, it…” Liz’s brows drew together as she forced herself to focus completely on what she’d seen. And felt "It wasn’t that kind of flash. It didn’t feel the same. It was, I don’t know it was different, only…it was familiar..I mean, I know that doesn’t make any sense, I just, I don’t know,” Liz finished, growing agitated over her inability to explain it any better than that.
“Ok,” Max soothed. “It’s ok, we’ll figure it out,” he said. “I promise, I’ll help you figure it out. Just…trust me, ok?”
“I do, Max.” Liz sighed, fighting a different frustration altogether as she felt herself drawn even closer. She had to stop looking into his eyes. Someday. Maybe. “I do trust you,” she breathed, trying to order her thoughts. “But I keep hearing myself say that we need her and, and I just…I know it’s true.”
“But Liz,” Max said gently. “What if it’s not? That’s what we thought last time, right? What if that’s what got us into that mess in the first place?”
“Max, Serena didn’t…”
“How do we know? How do we know that her messing with the Granolith isn’t what screwed up the future?” Max asked seriously. How do we know anything anymore?
Liz shook her head. “Max she hasn’t even seen the Granolith yet.”
“I know. And how can I be sure that letting her back near it, or…letting her near it for the first time," Max muttered, getting caught up, not for the first time, in too many timelines, "How do I know that isn’t going to trigger something that brings our enemies to us sooner? Liz, I can’t even believe that I’d ever be stupid enough to trust a criminal in the first place, and now…how am I supposed to make a decision knowing that the last time, every decision I made led to the destruction of a planet?”
Liz stared, her heart aching with his frustration. He felt more powerless now than he had before, she realized. And still utterly responsible for everyone. “Max…” She didn’t even think about what she was doing, her soul simply reached for his, knowing he needed her. But he’d already pulled away to pace the length of the classroom.
“It’s too soon. We’re not ready for this.” Max admitted softly, turning back to the safety of Liz’s steady gaze. “I’m not ready.”
“Max,” Liz shook her head, horrified by the odd shame she could see in his eyes, even from this distance. “This isn’t your fault, no one expects…”
“Oh no? I’m the King, remember? Ask anyone,” Max muttered, unable to hold her gaze though he was almost compelled to pace back to her side.
“Yeah, but…”
“But nothing. This is my responsibility. What happens if I screw up again?” Max asked, turning to face the window. “What if I make the same mistakes? What if…” What if we end up right back where we stared fourteen years from now and we have to do the same thing we did last time? What if I have to lose you again? He barely even had her, but his soul went cold at the thought.
“Max, stop…stop!” Liz caught his wrist pulling him around to face her, only to find herself closer than she’d intended. But she couldn’t seem to take that necessary step back. “This isn’t just your responsibility. I…trust me,” she echoed pointedly. “Trust me to help you figure it out.”
Max nodded silently, taking a step closer without even consciously deciding to do so. He could feel the air between them vibrating with the heat of anticipation. “Ok,” he whispered.
“Ok,” Liz breathed out. She cleared her throat. “So we’ll…we’ll help each other,” she promised. “That’s what friends do, right?”
Max closed his eyes. Friends. Seven letters. Anything but ok. He swallowed hard and said nothing, choosing instead to pull her against him for a hug. Friends hugged all the time, he rationalized weakly. He wasn’t even sure who he was trying to comfort, but when she relaxed in his arms, he stopped caring.
Liz took a deep breath, berating her treasonous soul for falling so easily into the warmth and safety of his embrace even as her arms tightened around his neck. The silence settled around them and she realized distantly that class had already started. “We should probably go,” she murmured, her heart racing as her lips brushed briefly against the skin of his throat. She bit her bottom lip purposefully. Friends, she reminded herself. Friends hugged, they didn’t give each other hickeys.
Max felt the deep breath she took as she started to move away and he tightened his arms around her. “Just… stay like this for one more minute,” he bid softly. “I just need one more minute.”
“Me too,” Liz admitted softly.
Quick fly-by post here, since I am of course working hard.
Just wanted to say thanks for reading. I know it’s been rough, and just as a light at the end of the tunnel kinda thing…this chapter serves as the beginning of the upswing (for Max and Liz anyway, Serena's got a ways to go). Things are gonna start to snowball from here sooo, without further ado – Part 15.
Hope you like,
Pathos
**********Part 15*************
“You look tired.”
Liz gritted her teeth. “Maria…”
Maria shrugged innocently. “What? I’m just saying…”
“Just don’t,” Liz suggested sharply. She closed her locker slowly, the careful action doing little to block the annoying grate of metal on metal from reverberating through her skull. Damn headache. Turning to Maria she quickly changed the subject. “Did anyone tell Alex about…”
“So, I heard last night was a real blast.”
“Apparently someone did,” Maria muttered, forgetting her concern over the dark circles under Liz’s eyes to glare over her shoulder. “Alex, that is so not funny.”
Liz shook her head at Alex when he turned his whipped puppy expression on her. “Don’t look at me,” she told him. “I agree with Maria.”
Slinging an arm around each of his best friends shoulders, Alex guided them toward the open double doors leading to the Quad, absolutely refusing to give up his good mood. He was planning to enjoy this lunch meeting. “You look tired,” he told Liz critically, taking a quick step back and holding his hands up in surrender when she stopped to glare at him. “But beautiful. Tired, but beautiful,” he offered with a nod.
Liz sighed, squinting painfully into the sunlight. Last night’s sleeplessness had left her both exhausted and on edge, her mind still swimming with things she couldn’t explain. She closed her eyes momentarily, battling a lingering disorientation as she tried to force herself to relax. This was just like any other emergency meeting they’d ever had, Liz told herself, watching Alex and Maria join the rest of the group. Only it wasn’t.
Max rolled his shoulders restlessly. He should be paying more attention. He had been paying more attention, but over the last few minutes Michael’s rant had progressively faded until a familiar anticipation was all he knew. Before he even turned around, he knew she’d be there.
Backing up a step, Liz swallowed against the cold echo of last night’s vision as it rolled through her stomach. She wanted to run, but just then Max turned to look at her, his eyes finding hers as if he’d sensed her sudden reticence to join him. And she couldn’t seem to make herself move.
Liz exhaled roughly. It was too easy, she thought frantically, too easy to meet his gaze, to do as he silently requested and reach for a connection she shouldn’t acknowledge…a connection she couldn’t help but acknowledge.
Against a will worn thin Liz felt her soul seek his, desperate to feel more than just the frustrating shadow of what she knew their connection could be. Her breath came faster as her longing brushed inevitably against his, sparking something that could only pull them deeper.
“Team meeting,” Kyle reminded, slapping Liz lightly on the back as he passed. He paused for a second, his brows knitting together as he studied her face. “You ok?”
Liz shook her head, the world titling back into focus and leaving her feeling claustrophobic. She couldn’t do this, not today. She was too damn tired. And her head was pounding too damned much, and she was…too damn attuned to Max. She chewed uneasily on her bottom lip, already feeling guilty for the rush of panic that still insisted on retreat. She could see Tess’s attention shifting from whatever Michael was saying to the way Max was staring at her…they way they were staring at each other.
She had to get out of here.
Only she couldn’t seem to make herself move. Not until Max looked away, letting her off the hook even as his shoulders sagged in resigned understanding. She hesitated for one painful heartbeat and then headed back into the building. “Tell Max I’m going to check the blood from the apron,” she said to Kyle, barely pausing for his nod as she headed for the Bio Lab. “I’ll catch up with him in Trig.”
**************************
Max turned back to the table, feeling Liz’s retreat in everything from the warmth of the breeze to the coolness of his soul’s disappointment. He wanted nothing more than to go after her, but he guessed that would only force her to run faster. Swallowing a heavy sigh, he nodded impatiently at both Michael and Kyle when they continued to regard him in silence.
“Max?”
“I heard you. Liz is checking the apron,” Max parroted back to Kyle.
“Well, great I’ve done my bid for King and country. Can I go now?” Kyle asked, feeling strangely uncomfortable when Tess moved closer to Max so that he could sit down. His temper flared, almost as if he were…jealous. Which he definitely wasn’t. At all. Really, he decided, his eyes darkening in confusion.
“Kyle, come on…” Tess said softly, tugging on his arm. “Just sit down, ok?”
“Fine,” Kyle agreed ungraciously, sliding into the seat next to Tess and drumming his fingers anxiously against the table when she slipped further away.
“Great,” Max muttered under his breath, forcing himself not to move away when Tess shifted closer, plastering herself against his side to give Kyle more room.
“Maxwell!”
“I heard you, too, Michael,” Max snapped, shoving his half eaten sandwich back into the paper bag. Chicken salad just wasn’t gonna do it right now.
“And?” Michael demanded.
Max opened his mouth and then closed it again, suddenly realizing that he hadn’t heard what Michael said.
Michael sighed. “Did Brody say anything?” he repeated tightly.
“I called him after I saw the news this morning. He’s decided to take the, uh, ‘break-in’ as a sign that we need to do a complete inventory and remodel the Center before the first wave of tourists invade,” Max said wryly. For the next few weeks he was going to be hip deep in everything alien…in more ways than one. Idly he wondered if there was any chance of the mothership coming for him before he had to catalogue Brody’s extensive Crop Circle files. He snorted. With his luck he’d be cross referencing them with every sighting known to man.
Michael shrugged. “Sucks to be you. Did he say if the police had any suspects?”
“Not any of the short, brunette variety, no. Although your name did come up,” Max mentioned.
“How come everyone wants to blame me?” Michael muttered.
Max raised a brow. “Well, technically you were there, Michael,” he drawled.
“I wasn’t the only one. And I was just defending myself. She tried to blow me up, remember?”
“Which still doesn’t make any sense to me,” Isabel said slowly.
“It’s Michael.” Kyle pointed out innocently. “Who doesn’t want to blow him up on occasion?”
Isabel rolled her eyes, but otherwise ignored Kyle. “I wish we had…”
“More information?” Max finished sardonically. He shrugged in tired exasperation when his sister nodded at him. Why was getting more information only a good idea when someone other than himself thought of it, he wondered caustically.
Alex sat up straighter, shoving his lunch aside as he cleared his throat. “I, uh…I might be able to help with that actually. The information thing, not Michael’s diplomacy issues,” he clarified when everyone at the table turned to look at him.
“Hey, this isn’t my issue,” Michael pointed out. “She’s the one…”
“Michael, shhh,” Isabel ordered, before turning a bright smile on Alex. She’d known he was the one to go to this morning. “Go on Alex.”
“Thanks,” Alex said, smiling widely before Kyle’s mocking snort of laughter sobered him. “Anyway…Isabel filled me in this morning so I did a little research,” he said, pulling out a manila folder and ignoring Maria’s pointed glare. He already knew that he’d gone against ‘Project: Thaw the Ice Princess’ by doing Isabel’s bidding, but…what was he supposed to do when she looked at him like that?
“I had my computer lab 2nd and 3rd ,” Alex explained, wondering if that was going to save him from a lecture later on. One look at Maria’s face told him no, but when he glanced over at Isabel, he decided that he didn’t care. “Anyway, I did a google search and once I realized that Serena Fallon really was her name, well…the police database was easier to get into than I thought.”
“She has a record?” Max asked. “Why am I not surprised?”
Alex nodded. “Oh yeah. She definitely has a record,” he said, handing Max a copy of the report he’d found.
I take it back, Max thought grimly, scanning the report. I am surprised.
“You weren’t kidding about that record,” Maria said, her brows raised as she glanced at the sheet Alex was now passing around the table.
Michael let out a low whistle. “Loitering, petty theft, possession…arson?!”
Kyle let out a snort of laughter. “She’s been busy,” he said. “Are you sure she’s only 17?”
“And why would you set a morgue on fire?” Isabel asked, her nose wrinkling at the thought.
Michael glared when her eyes fell on him. “How would I know?”
Alex swallowed uncomfortably. “I should probably point out that she was only questioned in the arson, and the other charges were all, um, dropped. Technically, she’s never been convicted of anything. And really, that’s not what’s interesting.”
Michael blinked. “She’s got a record longer than mine and that’s not what’s interesting?” he questioned.
“Nope. Check this out. Our new friend is a certified genius.”
Michael snorted. “Says who?”
“The Stanford Binet and Wechsler Intelligence tests for one. She scored off the chart,” Alex replied. “When I did that search I found an article about the foster care system in New York…”
“What does the foster care system in New York have to do with this?”
“I’m getting there,” Alex said, glaring at Michael. “Anyway, this article was all about how kids were falling through the cracks in the system and there was a whole section on Serena, ” he explained, searching through his folder for a copy of the article. “She’d been in foster care since she was nine but no one bothered to test her until she twelve and there was a whole bunch of publicity around it, but…well, here’s where it gets interesting.” Alex said pausing to relish everyone’s rapt attention. Especially Isabel’s.
“Hey, Alex,” Michael said impatiently. “Can we move this along?”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry,” Alex said, giving in when he realized that he was losing his audience. Even Isabel was beginning to look a little annoyed with the buildup. “So…ok, check this out. New York’s DCF has absolutely no record of Serena Fallon ever being in foster care.”
Tess shrugged, beginning to feel uncomfortable with this whole conversation. Too much had happened in New York, and she still didn’t have any idea what the hell her dupe was doing in town. “Maybe the article was wrong,” she suggested lightly.
“I’ve got five. All from different sources,” Alex replied, turning to meet Tess’s eyes.
“Oh.” Tess subsided, silently cursing herself for playing with Alex’s crush instead of just burning it from his mind.
Max pulled in a slow breath, unsettled by the strangely charged look passing between Tess and Alex. He turned to Tess, wondering at the pique that straightened her spine, leaving her tense and motionless against his side.
“That’s what you get for arguing with a geek,” Kyle said, patting Tess’s shoulder in sarcastic consolation. “They come with footnotes.”
Tess rolled her eyes and relaxed. “I’ll have to remember that.”
Max shook his head as the group laughed at Kyle’s joke. I must be more tired than I thought, he decided warily. That cold flash of paranoia was a bit much, even for him.
Maria cleared her throat. “Alex, don’t take this the wrong way but…what does all that have to do with her coming to Roswell and trying to kill Michael?” Maria asked.
“I’m not entirely sure,” Alex admitted. “But I’m guessing it probably has something to do with this kid. And DCF has no record of him ever being in foster care, either,” Alex said, laying down a copy of the newspaper photo he’d printed from the net and pointing at the boy clearly visible just over Serena’s left shoulder.
“Oh my God. Max that’s you,” Isabel breathed out, leaning in for a closer look.
Max stared, paranoia forgotten as he looked down at…himself. Fighting for a Future. The caption hit just a little too close to home, but then again, everything about Serena hit a little too close to home. And it wasn’t just Serena. In fact, he decided, it wasn’t Serena at all. The haircut was different from the one he’d had when he was twelve, but the resemblance between him and Zan was close enough to… vaguely unsettled, Max looked away, unable to stop himself from wondering if his mother would have been able to tell the difference between them. Or Liz…
Isabel looked at her brother, suddenly remembering how disquieting Lonnie’s existence was. “Lots of people have twins,” she murmured.
“Yeah,” Max agreed softly. “But he’s not my twin. He’s my clone.”
“Or you’re his.” Kyle suggested
Max glared.
Tess shook her head, laying a hand on Max’s forearm to halt the argument that was brewing. “Max is King,” she said firmly. “He…Zan’s the clone.”
Max swallowed hard. Fabulous! Max is King. Now if only Max had some idea of how to make that work in his favor, he thought with agitated sarcasm. Tess’s proclamation was little comfort, but he forced himself to offer her a brief smile before he returned his attention to Alex. It wasn’t her fault that he didn’t see their divine right quite the same way she did.
“I guess it makes some sense…” Maria began, studying the copy of the photo over Michael’s shoulder and ignoring Kyle and Max. “I mean, Ava did say that Serena wanted to kill Rath because he’d killed Zan,” she pointed out thoughtfully.
Michael turned to stare at his girlfriend. “Don’t tell me you’re going to start defending her now, too.”
“I’m not defending anyone, I’m just saying... if they were close…” Maria shrugged guiltily and looked away from Michael’s narrowed eyes. Liz would just have to take this one on her own.
“Oh, they were close.” Alex piped up. “One of the reporters interviewed their case worker, you know, about the relationships foster kids develop in group homes and…right….” Alex jumped back to the pertinent information quickly, beginning to wonder if Michael had the power to actually glare him off the bench. “Anyway, according to the case worker, Serena and Zan were so close they suffered from 'an unhealthy attachment' to one another, but there’s no real detail in the article,” he grumbled. “And DCF, which should have the details, doesn’t even think they exist. I looked up the case worker’s name and she’s legit, but Serena and Zan…it’s like someone just went in and erased their files or something.”
“Who’d want to do that?” Isabel asked uneasily, already certain she didn’t want to know and growing even more upset when her only answer was Alex’s sympathetic shrug.
Maria nodded. “And what the hell is an unhealthy attachment?”
“Means they were too close,” Kyle said helpfully.
“Thank you,” Maria muttered sarcastically before turning back to Alex. “What else did you find?”
“Nothing. There was nothing else there. I’m lucky that whoever crashed their files missed the articles.”
“And the record,” Max pointed out. He sighed heavily. Why was it that for every piece of information they got, twice as many questions popped up?
“Ok, as interesting as this is, it’s not getting us anywhere. Zan’s dead and Serena isn’t leading a race of people trying to kill us. What about the Skins?” Michael asked impatiently.
Alex glared. “Thank you, Alex. Thank you for wasting two class periods committing a felony by hacking into a police database. Don’t worry about it, Michael, I don’t mind going to prison for 5-10 years if I get caught, as long as you’re safe, I mean…” Alex fell silent, shocked when Isabel rested her hand briefly over his. Giddily he wondered if the gentle squeeze of her fingers would leave him speechless for the rest of the day.
“Thank you, Alex,” Isabel whispered.
Tess rolled her eyes. Just when she thought she’d actually convinced him to grow a pair, she thought derisively. All it took was one look from Isabel and Alex Whitman was a stuttering mess. She studied Max from beneath her lowered lashes. Why was it that sensitive men never managed to grow a spine?
“Thank you, Alex,” Michael mimicked. “Now can we talk about the Skins?”
And then there was Michael. Tess could almost feel his temper begin to boil over when he thought he was being ignored. She was pretty damn sure that he wasn’t going to let this go until Max acknowledged his point. No matter how many times Maria smacked him in the arm. Damn it, she didn’t need this right now. But she didn’t need these idiots stumbling onto anything by accident, either. She had a job to do, a job she couldn’t afford not to do, she reminded herself. And it’s not like she’d ever had a problem steering the conversation before. “Max, I…I hate to agree with Michael but…what are we gonna do about the Skins?”
“I really don’t know,” Max said quietly, wincing at the pained breath Maria and his sister inhaled at his admission. And the continued silence from the rest of the group only seemed to emphasize his helplessness.
“Maxwell.”
“Look, you’re right, ok? I know we can’t just ignore them anymore.” Max ground out, holding Michael’s gaze. “But we can’t go looking for a fight at the moment, either. We’ll lose,” he finished bluntly.
“I thought the Skins were gone,” Maria reminded them, panic beginning to color her voice.
Max shook his head, feeling the heaviness from last night returning to weigh against his soul. “Nicholas was alive and well in New York. I don’t know how he survived the fire but he did.” His eyes narrowed as he thought back to that fire. It should have meant the Skins’s demise. “You said you didn’t really mean for everything to explode like that,” he began pensively, turning to Tess. “What do you remember about how it happened? What’d you do?”
“Well?” Michael prodded, surprised when Tess remained silent.
Shit. That wasn’t quite what she’d meant by ‘steering the conversation’. Tess shrugged, struggling against her own nervousness to add a touch of innocence to her features. Her eyes widened and she looked from Max to Kyle and then back again, relaxing as her mind formulated another diversion. “I’m sorry, Max, I thought…I thought he was really dead,” she said softly, letting out a relieved breath when Kyle straightened protectively next to her. Just turn their attention, she thought, focusing Kyle’s underlying jealousy and frustration, watching it escalate until he couldn’t remain silent.
“You act like it’s her fault, Max. You out to be thanking her for saving your ass and instead you want to blame her?” Kyle burst out in disbelief. “I don’t remember hearing about any one of you actually doing anything when…”
“Ok, relax, no one’s blaming Tess.” Max hissed, glancing over his shoulder at the rest of the student body. Yet, even when he’d assured himself that no one had heard Kyle’s outburst, an unusual vulnerability lingered, almost as if he were being watched, assessed. And found wanting. Jaw clenched, Max turned back to Tess, his anger softening at the shadow of guilt and responsibility he read in her blue eyes. “I know it’s not your fault,” he told her softly. “You did what you had to do.”
You did what you had to do. The words sent a cold shiver through her entire body. “I…know,” Tess choked out, wondering if he’d ever understand how right he was.
Max nodded, frowning slightly as he wondered about Tess’s nervousness. It was out of character, if not out of place, and it was making him even more uneasy. “I’m just trying to figure out how he could have survived. And how many survived with him,” Max finished grimly.
Michael nodded. “And how to make sure they don’t survive the next time,” he added. “We need to be ready to defend ourselves.”
“Yeah,” Max agreed softly. “We do.” He looked at Tess. “Have you tried to do it again?”
Like I asked, Tess finished silently, offering a stilted nod, and hoping it was the right answer.
“And?” Michael pressed curiously.
“I…I couldn’t do it.”
Maria blinked, surprised to hear the alien admit that there was something she couldn’t do. “Why not?”
Tess swallowed, feeling her heart beating painfully against her ribs as she searched for an excuse that would actually make sense. And then her eyes fell on Alex. Useful, oblivious Alex. “It…it could have been a mindwarp,” she offered slowly. “I told you Nicholas was strong, the strongest mind I’ve ever come across. I guess it’s possible…maybe…maybe he turned my own warp against me, somehow.” It wasn’t even a lie, not completely, she rationalized, her temper flaring over her strange need to bother. They’d done this to themselves, she reminded herself, ducking Max’s suddenly sympathetic gaze.
“Ok,” Max said gently, trying to ease some of Tess’s obvious apprehension. “We’ll figure it out, but at least this gives us a place to start.”
He’s trying to make me crazy, Tess thought flatly, her temper flaring unfairly over his understanding. What the hell was he doing, being what she needed now? It was too late, and it wasn’t fair! She shook her head, forcing a serene smile to her lips. Focus. Focus on the nice save, and focus on a way to use Max’s sympathy against him. “Right,” she murmured.
Max sighed, noticing that everyone was back to looking at him.
“Great, we have a place to start, but what are we going to do?”
“We need more information before we go looking for a fight, Michael.”
Tess hid a derisive sneer. And there’s the Max we all know and love. Don’t walk into the fight, just stand there and wait for it to come to you. All the better for her, she reminded herself.
“So what? We’re just gonna wait?” Michael asked incredulously.
“Just until we have some idea about what the Skins are up to. Ava said she’d be in touch, just give it some time…”
“What if we don’t have anymore time?” Michael challenged quietly, feeling Maria stiffen beside him, though she remained silent. They all did, and he felt a small thrill of triumph when he realized that he’d just voiced what they were all thinking.
Max had never been so grateful for the first bell. “We wait,” he said stubbornly, standing up to avoid furthering the argument. “For now we just…”
“Act normal.” Michael finished. “Whatever.”
Max watched as Michael stormed away, Maria at his heels while Isabel, Alex and Kyle headed in the opposite direction to their own classes. He didn’t miss the fearful, angry looks they shot him before they left. What else was new?
Tess hesitated, too aware of the tension to pass up the opportunity that had just been handed to her. “Max they just don’t understand…”
“It’s fine, Tess.” Max said shortly, nodding after Kyle. “You’re going to be late.”
“You said act normal, I’m always late for math.”
Max blinked, staring uncertainly at Tess’ serious features, and then he laughed, surprised when she lost the battle to keep a straight face and giggled with him. “I’m glad someone knows how to follow orders,” he said, clearing his throat and tensing with the same exposed vulnerability as before. The feeling only increased as the other students returned to class, leaving them alone with nothing but expectation between them.
“Yes sir,” Tess replied cheekily, determinedly ignoring the warmth of his laughter. “And really…Maria’s muttering to herself, Alex is drooling after Isabel, and Michael’s glowering at people…it doesn’t get more normal than that.”
Max ducked his head. “Yeah, I uh, I guess it doesn’t.” He collected the garbage from their aborted lunch, forcing himself to smile at Tess when she stooped to help. “I should probably get going…”
Tess nodded. “It’s going to be fine, Max,” she said, surprising herself as much as Max with the reassurance. What the hell was wrong with her today?
Max nodded, feeling guilty for his sudden, all encompassing desire to be alone, or at the very least away from his…bride. “I know.” He watched her hesitate for a moment before turning to leave and sighed silently over the disappointment he’d read in her eyes. What was wrong with him today? He was snapping at everyone. “Tess…thanks,” he offered softly, when she looked back at him, her brows raised in question.
Tess smiled. “You’re welcome,” she said, “I’m gonna go…act normal.”
Max nodded. “Sounds like a plan,” he murmured, turning quickly and heading for class. He felt unaccountably lighter as he headed to Trig.
*******************
Coming to a halt, Max bit his lip and silently wondered what the hell he was doing. He should keep walking. He knew he should, just like he knew that she didn’t need his help. It was a simple thing, studying a blood sample. As simple as walking, in fact. Which he should be doing. He should head to class and wait for her to get there and tell him what she’d found. He really should.
Sighing, Max wrapped his fingers around the knob and silently unlocked the door. To hell with walking, he decided, feeling the stress of the last hour beginning to fall away as he watched her. He’d never realized how calming it was, seeing Liz bent over a microscope, chewing at her bottom lip as she tried to glare whatever was on the slide into making sense. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d watched her do that. Or the number of times he’d longed to reach out and brush that stray wisp of hair from her face.
Max took a step forward and then stopped, deciding he should probably keep the lab table between them. “Find anything?” he asked softly, his knuckles whitening around the edge of the desk.
Liz straightened slowly. She wasn’t surprised by Max’s presence, but as an almost electric shock of awareness swept her system, she began to wonder if she’d been waiting for him all along. Liz took a deep breath, struggling against her immediate need to be closer. She ought to be grateful, she supposed, that he was standing on the other side of the desk. “Nothing that shouldn’t be there,” she said softly, gathering the slide and apron together before slanting him a glance. “Disappointed?”
Max shook his head. “I didn’t want her to be an enemy, Liz,” he averred quietly, not completely sure that was true.
“But you don’t trust her, do you?”
Max watched Liz ball up the bloody apron and then slide it across the desk, her nervousness apparent in the hasty step back she took when his fingers brushed against hers across the metallic colored cloth. “Why should I trust her?” he muttered, his own anxiety ratcheting up a notch with the all too brief flare of their connection. Forcing a breath into his lungs he removed the blood stains then swiped a hand over the slide as well. At least they’d learned to cover their tracks, he thought, sliding the alien head back across the table and feeling a strange challenge spark his blood when he saw Liz hesitate before grabbing the material.
“You didn’t answer my question,” Max reminded her.
Liz took a deep breath and steadied herself. Even the light brush of Max’s fingers had been enough to show her how unsettled he was after the meeting. But it was the look in his eyes that was doing a fine job of unsettling her. “We trusted her once.”
“I’m not so sure that was one of our better decision.”
“Why, did you find out she based all her time travel theories on Quantum Leap?” Liz asked lightly. She forced herself to look away, but when the joke fell flat, her eyes were immediately drawn back to Max’s somber gaze. And then he looked away. “Max?”
Max looked up, watching the uneasy curiosity play out across Liz’s tense features. He’d known last night that she’d felt the need to defend Serena, and now, as much as he wanted to be right about not trusting her, Max suddenly wanted to not disappoint Liz even more. But he knew he couldn’t avoid it. “Liz, she has a record.”
“For what?”
“Possession, theft…arson.” Max reported, watching Liz’s uneasiness play out across her expressive features as he fought the need to reach for her. He knew he couldn’t, but the urge to do so, to be more than simply near her seemed to grow exponentially the longer they remained apart. He shoved his hands in his pockets, absently noting the way Liz was clinging to the straps of her backpack. His breath came a little easer as he wondered if she was having as much trouble not reaching for him. “Liz? Say something.”
“I…wow.”
“Wow?” Max asked incredulously, watching Liz visibly struggling to find some rational reason to trust Serena despite her criminal tendencies. “You’re not serious…”
Liz took one look at his disbelieving expression and began to pace, needing to do something with all her nervous energy. The hard set of Max’s features said it all. He didn’t want to hear any excuses for Serena’s behavior, he didn’t want to hear about her at all. Unfortunately, Liz couldn’t let this go. “People make…mistakes,” she began lamely.
“Mistakes? Liz, she burned down a morgue…and I don’t know why!” Max snapped, the spark of his temper taking even him by surprise. He was too close to her, and too far away. And it was all just too damned much! He ducked his head when Liz stopped mid-pace to stare at him, clearly taken aback by his annoyance. “Ok, let’s just both stay calm,” he suggested.
Liz nodded, her anxiety doing a slow roll through her stomach even as his temper goaded hers with an intensity that left a static trail across her skin. “Let’s,” she agreed tightly, resuming her pacing.
Max sighed, his frustration tempered with his sudden, clear sense of her…fear. Something was wrong. And she was afraid to tell him what. His anger faded and he stepped around the table before he even realized what he was doing. “I’m sorry,” he said, his fingers curling against his palm in an effort not to reach out and pull her to a stop. “I…why don’t you tell me why you want to trust someone you’ve met for all of ten seconds.” Not the most diplomatic way of asking, he supposed, but then he already knew the answer. Max looked away, letting the silence stretch out as he waited to hear the words ‘You told me’ or ‘Your future self said’ or…
“That’s not why Max,” Liz said softly.
Max blinked, looking up to find Liz still, and watching him. And closer than he’d expected. “Then why?”
“I don’t…this doesn’t make any sense,” Liz warned, feeling some part of herself flirting with the idea of moving closer, though she’d yet to move.
Max took a deep breath. It didn’t make any sense. So what else was new? “Try me,” he suggested wryly.
“I got, I got this flash like…from the future,” Liz said miserably, well aware of how that sounded.
“You got a flash? From him?” Max asked, keeping his voice purposefully low. He’d understood Liz’s hurt feelings the first time he’d mentioned getting a flash with Tess, or thought he had, but now…flashes belonged to them. Them, not…
“It wasn’t him, not really. I mean, when he was here he was barely close enough to touch me. And when we danced I just got this…weird sense of him, no real flashes.” Lifting her eyes to his, Liz felt herself falling into him with an immediacy that would have been frightening, if it hadn’t been what she’d needed all along. “Last night, completely out of the blue Max, I just got this flash of, of the two of us. From the future,” she finished in a whisper.
Max forgot his jealousy in the wave of dread he could feel slowly overtaking Liz’s soul, ebbing and flowing with every breath she took. She didn’t understand this, didn’t know if he’d accept it, and it was scaring her to death.
“I’m sorry,” Liz said quickly, misinterpreting his stillness. “I’m sorry I’m so I’m scared, but…”
She was going to look away. Max knew it almost before she did, and his stomach clenched in reaction. But then she didn’t and his whole being warmed in reaction. It was a curious intimacy, the feel of her intentions shifting in direct response to what he was feeling, and it left him humbled, secure even in the midst of his uncertainty. “You’re allowed to be scared, Liz. I understand that, I do, just…trust me to…” To what, exactly? To be confused right along with you? “Just don’t…just let me help,” he whispered helplessly.
Liz exhaled roughly. He thought she was going to run, she could feel it as easily as she could feel his own instinctive wish to retreat. Only he couldn’t. And even if the thought had occurred to her more than once, she couldn’t run now to save her life. Liz nodded silently, falling deeper into the warmth that seemed always to exist between them now. It was amazing, and as real as their heartbeat. The cold fear she’d been fighting since midnight faded with the first gossamer threads of reassurance. Everything was going to be ok. “Ok.”
Ok. Two little letters. Ok. Max felt himself relaxing for the first time in what felt like months, and it left him almost giddy. “Ok,” he repeated, forcing himself to focus. “Ok. So…let’s think about this. How do you know that what you saw was from the future?”
Liz took a steadying breath, feeling herself relax as Max’s calm resolve steadied her own frayed nerves. This was going to be fine, she wasn’t alone. He may as well have been saying it out loud. “Um, I could tell by your hair, it was long, like when he came back.” Liz replied, concentrating on what she’d seen. “And mine was…short.”
“Ok, so clearly it’s a sign that you should never cut your hair,” Max joked lightly, rewarded by her wry smile and the slow easing of her tension, not to mention his own.
“And you should? Max this is serious,” Liz said, rolling her eyes, but offering a small smile nonetheless. If he could be standing there not freaking out she supposed she could do the same.
“I know,” Max reassured her. “Go on, did you touch something maybe that he touched while he was here?”
“I don’t think so, it…” Liz’s brows drew together as she forced herself to focus completely on what she’d seen. And felt "It wasn’t that kind of flash. It didn’t feel the same. It was, I don’t know it was different, only…it was familiar..I mean, I know that doesn’t make any sense, I just, I don’t know,” Liz finished, growing agitated over her inability to explain it any better than that.
“Ok,” Max soothed. “It’s ok, we’ll figure it out,” he said. “I promise, I’ll help you figure it out. Just…trust me, ok?”
“I do, Max.” Liz sighed, fighting a different frustration altogether as she felt herself drawn even closer. She had to stop looking into his eyes. Someday. Maybe. “I do trust you,” she breathed, trying to order her thoughts. “But I keep hearing myself say that we need her and, and I just…I know it’s true.”
“But Liz,” Max said gently. “What if it’s not? That’s what we thought last time, right? What if that’s what got us into that mess in the first place?”
“Max, Serena didn’t…”
“How do we know? How do we know that her messing with the Granolith isn’t what screwed up the future?” Max asked seriously. How do we know anything anymore?
Liz shook her head. “Max she hasn’t even seen the Granolith yet.”
“I know. And how can I be sure that letting her back near it, or…letting her near it for the first time," Max muttered, getting caught up, not for the first time, in too many timelines, "How do I know that isn’t going to trigger something that brings our enemies to us sooner? Liz, I can’t even believe that I’d ever be stupid enough to trust a criminal in the first place, and now…how am I supposed to make a decision knowing that the last time, every decision I made led to the destruction of a planet?”
Liz stared, her heart aching with his frustration. He felt more powerless now than he had before, she realized. And still utterly responsible for everyone. “Max…” She didn’t even think about what she was doing, her soul simply reached for his, knowing he needed her. But he’d already pulled away to pace the length of the classroom.
“It’s too soon. We’re not ready for this.” Max admitted softly, turning back to the safety of Liz’s steady gaze. “I’m not ready.”
“Max,” Liz shook her head, horrified by the odd shame she could see in his eyes, even from this distance. “This isn’t your fault, no one expects…”
“Oh no? I’m the King, remember? Ask anyone,” Max muttered, unable to hold her gaze though he was almost compelled to pace back to her side.
“Yeah, but…”
“But nothing. This is my responsibility. What happens if I screw up again?” Max asked, turning to face the window. “What if I make the same mistakes? What if…” What if we end up right back where we stared fourteen years from now and we have to do the same thing we did last time? What if I have to lose you again? He barely even had her, but his soul went cold at the thought.
“Max, stop…stop!” Liz caught his wrist pulling him around to face her, only to find herself closer than she’d intended. But she couldn’t seem to take that necessary step back. “This isn’t just your responsibility. I…trust me,” she echoed pointedly. “Trust me to help you figure it out.”
Max nodded silently, taking a step closer without even consciously deciding to do so. He could feel the air between them vibrating with the heat of anticipation. “Ok,” he whispered.
“Ok,” Liz breathed out. She cleared her throat. “So we’ll…we’ll help each other,” she promised. “That’s what friends do, right?”
Max closed his eyes. Friends. Seven letters. Anything but ok. He swallowed hard and said nothing, choosing instead to pull her against him for a hug. Friends hugged all the time, he rationalized weakly. He wasn’t even sure who he was trying to comfort, but when she relaxed in his arms, he stopped caring.
Liz took a deep breath, berating her treasonous soul for falling so easily into the warmth and safety of his embrace even as her arms tightened around his neck. The silence settled around them and she realized distantly that class had already started. “We should probably go,” she murmured, her heart racing as her lips brushed briefly against the skin of his throat. She bit her bottom lip purposefully. Friends, she reminded herself. Friends hugged, they didn’t give each other hickeys.
Max felt the deep breath she took as she started to move away and he tightened his arms around her. “Just… stay like this for one more minute,” he bid softly. “I just need one more minute.”
“Me too,” Liz admitted softly.
The fact that we are fools is duly noted...
But must that be our epitaph?
-SRC
I'd be an idiot if I weren't less than pleased about being doomed.
- Warren Zevon
But must that be our epitaph?
-SRC
I'd be an idiot if I weren't less than pleased about being doomed.
- Warren Zevon