Roswell Fanatics

Ten

Max had only been gone from the room for a few minutes before Liz changed her mind about going out with the girls. She got up and (with the sheet wrapped around her) went to the door and pulled it open.

“Max?” she said and stuck her head out into the hallway. He had obviously stopped to light a cigarette because when he turned around a cloud of smoke came out his mouth.

“Yah?” he said. A sweet curious and hopeful look came onto his face and Liz’s insecurities flew away.

Now it wasn’t so hard for her to say, “I…decided I want to stay in tonight. If you wanted to come back in…you can.”

He paused, unsure. It was almost as if he thought she was going to cheat him. “What…no partying?”

“No partying,” she repeated. When he didn’t say anything and didn’t make a move to come back she said, “Do you have a fuckin’ problem with that or somethin’?”

“No, it’s fine with me.”

He brushed against her as he re-entered the room. She closed the door behind them and then told him to turn the light off. She wanted what they’d had on the day they first slept together, when they’d talked in the dark.

He didn’t question her, just took off his clothes and climbed onto the bed. Liz thought she saw him pat the mattress beside him.

At first they didn’t touch, just lay on their backs beside one another.

“I’m surprised,” she said, “That you’ve never had anal sex before.”

He laughed. “What makes you think that I haven’t?”

“Your hesitance.”

“I have,” he said, “I was just hesitant because you were high and I didn’t know if that’s what you really wanted.”

“Oh.” She was going to say that that was very decent of him but decided against it. Instead she turned to look at him and in turn, he looked at her too. His eyes were glistening and clear in the dark.

“What are you thinking about?” he said.

Should she tell him? “I was just wondering what happened in Brooklyn the last time you were there. The thing that made you act like such a prick to everyone.”

Max’s body stiffened beside her. She saw it somehow, the transformation when his cold façade replaced his tender one. “Why don’t you mind your own fucking business?” He still didn’t tear his gaze away from hers.

“Alright then,” she replied calmly, “your dick can mind its own fucken business too.”

He seemed to be debating whether or not to leave. In the end he decided not to. After all, Liz thought, that would leave them in exactly the same place they had been in for weeks.

Always running hot and cold, never knowing what was going on with them. There would be no more of that.

“How do you god damn know about that anyway?” he asked.

“That’s my business.”

Still not looking or shifting away they kept on at each other, both knowing something was changing between them. “Well what happened in Brooklyn is my fucking business so just forget it.”

“Not a chance in hell, you know way too much about me,” Liz retorted. She was scared of what she was feeling.

“I don’t know shit about you.”

Liz smirked. “You know that I like pain.”

Max smirked back. “Well that’s true. I know you’re dirty.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Knowing what you like during sex isn’t knowing you anyway.”

“Well it’s a good place to start,” Liz rolled onto her side and in doing so shifted closer to him. “So what are you into?” she asked with breathless anticipation. She suddenly really, really wanted to know. She wanted to know what she could do to drive him insane with pleasure.

Max thought about it for a moment. “I dunno.”

With disappointment—“You must.”

“I suppose…I like to be dominated. I don’t like having to control sex; I’d rather be told what to do.”

“Oh yeah? Well I can’t say I’m surprised. Do you like to be tied up?” she chuckled. “No wait,” she was giddy with the need to know everything. “Anything else? Like…a finger up your you know what or…hmm, anything really eccentric. Why can’t I think of anything right now?”

“I’m sorry to disappoint you,” he said slowly, “But I prefer it mostly conventional.”

“Oh…that is disappointing. Especially when I’d do absolutely anything.”

“Absolutely anything?” he chuckled. “God. What am I doing with you? Eighteen!”

“What am I doing with you? You’re practically a granddad,” she said, “Thirty!”

He reached out and tweaked her nipple. “Shutup.”

“Do you realize,” she leaned forward to kiss him, “You were like...twelve before I was even born. When you were my age…I was eight. You’re like practically doing it with an eight year old.”

“What?” he pulled away. “Are deliberately trying to turn me off?”

“No,” she smiled. “Just letting you know.”

“Well don’t.”

Her eyes blackened with desire and she leaned forward to kiss him again. It was when her tongue brushed his that he pulled away. “I actually prefer it without tongue,” he said.

Liz pulled away the covers and crawled down to rest in-between his thighs. “You like it without tongue then?” she said and lowered her mouth to his little soldier.

“Uh…” he breathed out, “That only applies to kissing.”

She chuckled. “I thought so.”

~*~

There was a never ending supply of weed and acid floating around with the band. When it was offered to you continuously throughout the day sometimes you never got a chance to come down from your high. It was the same with alcohol, sometimes you couldn’t figure out the last time you were completely sober.

Max and Liz were sitting on a deck chair by the pool on their third day in Lexington. It was freezing outside and they were both wearing coats, hats and boots and they were sharing a joint. No one else was around and it was very early in the morning.

Liz was staring at the smoke in her hands, thinking I need to stop this, but knowing she wouldn’t. She said to Max, “The maid’s going to have a heart attack when she sees the mess we made of the sheets last night.”

“Fuck the maid,” Max said back.

She smiled and shook her head. “Are you looking forward to the concert tonight?”

He looked at her. “I wouldn’t say ‘looking forward to it’.”

“What would you say?”

“I don’t know, maybe…” he thought about it for a moment, “fuck I don’t know. It’s just another gig for me.”

Liz took a deep drag of the smoke, held it in her throat and then pressed her mouth to Max’s and released. He breathed in, held it and then let it come out his nose.

“You don’t love music enough for what you do,” she said quietly. “How would you rather be spending your time?”

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know. What about you?”

She picked at some fluff on her jeans. “Fiona and I are going to move to Vegas after the bands been in Woodstock. We’re going to work in the casinos.”

He chuckled. “I can see you doing that.”

The sky was grey and the clouds were low. Liz noticed the kitchen lights come on and soon the staff would arrive and start making breakfast for the restaurant. They’d hear the pots and pans banging about and their peaceful spot would lose its appeal.

Max shifted and put his arm around her shoulders. She rested her cheek on his arm and even though his leather jacket was cold on her skin she didn’t pull away because she wanted to be near him.

With her free hand she reached up and grasped his fingers that dangled over her shoulder.

“Do you want to go inside?”

She shook her head, “No. I want to stay right here.”

They were silent and Liz closed her eyes. She couldn’t help what she was feeling in that moment. No matter how she tried to stop it, her life was spiralling around in front of her and she couldn’t reach out and control it. She wanted to run as far away as possible but couldn’t bring herself to let go of him.

She stubbed out their joint and then touched his chin. “You’ve got the makings of a beard,” she said. “You’re gonna start to look like Kyle.”

Max smiled. “Shit.”

His hand on hers moved and she felt his fingers thread through hers. She fought the urge to rip it away and tell him to fuck off.

“What would you say,” Max started, “if I asked you to…”

“To what?” she asked.

“Fuck only me.” He looked her in the eyes and she swallowed. “Show me what no one else gets to see.”

“I’d say”—she sat up and stopped touching him—“I can’t make any promises.”

~*~

Tess turned up after the concert. She was going to rejoin the tour; apparently she’d missed them all so much. Liz was just pouring herself a drink when she saw her and she couldn’t help but feel an instant of worry. Fiona pinched her side.

“Who the hell is that tramp?” she asked.

Liz couldn’t help but laugh. Sometimes Fiona knew exactly what to say. “She’s Tess, an old friend of the band.”

Fiona filled a plastic cup with half vodka, half lemonade. “Do we like Tess?” she asked.

Liz shrugged. “She’s okay. She and Max used to have a…thing. I think.”

“Well that wouldn’t matter to you,” Fiona teased, “Because you two ‘aren’t going steady’.” She laughed. “Yeah right. He doesn’t fuck anyone else around here.”

“Maybe he does,” Liz replied defensively. “Maybe he’s just discrete about it.”

“What about you?” Fiona raised her eye brows. “Are you just discrete about it too?”

Liz didn’t say anything. She saw Tess run and hug Max and he lifted her up and spun her around. She didn’t know how she was supposed to feel, but she knew she was a little anxious. She poured more vodka in her drink and then skulled it back.

“I want to dance,” Isabel said, coming up behind them. “Liz, you know you’re my girl. Let’s go.”

Liz smiled. “Yeah, let’s go.”

Everyone went to a pub tonight, instead of trashing the hotel like the last two days. It was packed but they somehow found a place to dance. “This music,” Liz laughed while Isabel spun her around, “Is so fuckin’ old-fashioned, I can’t believe it.”

“Don’t you love it?” Isabel grinned and bobbed her head back and forth. Her arms came up above her head and her hips moved from side to side. “Oh yeah!” she screamed. “This is the life.”

Liz closed her eyes and swayed her body. She felt free, her arms moved wherever and her feet did what they liked. Everyone else around them was dancing conventionally, but not her. She and Isabel went wild.

A while passed and she lost all sense of everything going on around her. She was floating, occasionally there were hands on her hips, spinning her around and urging her on.

When she opened her eyes Isabel with standing in front of her with her hand up in the air between them. There were two small, white tabs on the tips of her middle and index finger. Liz watched, the lights flashing and illuminating them—red, blue, green, orange, yellow, and violet—as Isabel put one of the tabs in her mouth and then pressed her finger to Liz’s own lips.

Liz opened up and sucked Isabel’s finger into her mouth. When it came out again she swallowed and smiled. Isabel leaned forward and kissed her, running her tongue along her lips and then wrapped her arms around her neck.

It was at least another senseless, completely out of it fifteen minutes before they separated. Max came over and took Liz’s arms, wrapping them around himself.

“You’ve been with Tess all night,” Liz said. “I saw you.”

“And now I’m with you,” he smiled and they danced together. “You’ve been with Isabel for hours, so she’s my fuckin’ competition?”

“Huh,” Liz snorted.

Max kissed her neck.

ELEVEN

When it came time to leave Lexington everyone was ready. Three days in the same place was too long and Knoxville—their next stop—was looking very appealing.

It was a long drive and Liz complained that her wrist hurt. She’d helped the guys load the bus and somehow damaged it. She wondered whether she should get it checked out. Michael said she was probably just being a wimp.

“I can’t believe it,” Isabel said, “Only four stops until we’re back in Brooklyn. I can’t wait. We’ll be back for Christmas.”

Liz usually never asked where they were going next. She loved to wait and find out once they got there. It was an amazing feeling not knowing what city, what state you’d be in that night. She was shocked to find out there were only four more concerts to go.

Would it all be over once they were in Brooklyn? Would this adventure, the best few months of her life, be over? The thought made her sad. She would miss this life, even if it was slowly killing her.

Jim announced that they’d be driving through the night because they had to be in Knoxville as soon as possible. Therefore everyone would have a go driving and there would only be a couple of rest-stops.

It was late and everyone was drifting off to sleep but Max kept strumming his guitar and writing in his notebook.

“Max,” Maria said, “Sing us a nice song to fall asleep to.”

“Not too nice.” Alex was behind the wheel at the moment. “You don’t want me to fall asleep.”

Liz was worn-out but she couldn’t drift off so she went and sat next to Max as he sung for Maria. She watched his fingers on the guitar and thought that they seemed to dance up and down the chords. How could someone who’s heart so wasn’t in it, be so good at making beautiful music?

After he’d finished he put the guitar down and sunk back into the seat. Liz drew her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees. “Max,” she said.

He looked at her and she couldn’t help but smile because he looked so gruff with his stubbly face and long hair. Gruff, but damn sexy. She wished they were alone.

“You know that thing you said by the pool yesterday morning?” She didn’t know how she was going to get out what she wanted to say. This wasn’t something she did very often. She preferred showing as little emotions as possible.

“What thing did I say by the pool?” he asked quietly. She wondered why he asked because she could tell that he knew exactly what she was talking about.

Before she had second thoughts she very softly said, “I…decided that if you still wanted me to…you know…that thing you said…well, I’m thinking maybe because I thought carefully about it and…”

“Meanwhile, back at the ranch…” Max teased.

She rolled her eyes. “Sorry. What I’m trying to say is…I’ll give it a go. But only if you do too.”

He stared into her eyes for a moment and then a sly smile spread across his mouth. “What made you change your mind? Was it Tess?”

Liz just shrugged and looked away in embarrassment. Was she going red? Probably, her cheeks felt hot.

“I still want to,” he said.

They both just stared ridiculously at one another for a long moment and then he shifted closer to her and kissed the corner of her mouth tenderly.

“Are you sure?” she asked, quickly pulling away.

“Um, no?” he looked at her with amusement. “Yes I’m sure. Why not? It doesn’t have to be a big fuckin’ deal. I’m not asking you to fucking marry me.”

“That’s actually a good thing because I’d never marry you.”

“I’d never marry you either.”

Soon they lay down facing each other, stretching across the back couch with their legs entwined. Liz rested her head on Max’s arm.

“Do you care about my age?” she asked. Her good hand played with his chest idly.

He played with her hair. “I normally would,” he said, “but I can get over it.”

They whispered to each other in a futile attempt to have some privacy but they knew anyone in the bus could be listening if they wanted to. Liz hoped everyone was asleep, especially when she kissed Max—how he liked. His facial hair tickled her face.

They moved closer together so that Liz was on her back and he was slightly on top of her, slightly resting on his side. Their chests pressed together and they continued to kiss, their lips warm and swelling.

One of Max’s hands touched Liz’s stomach under her shirt and she broke away from his mouth. “The whole band is around,” she smiled.

“Fuck the band.” He smiled back and ran his fingers up towards her breasts.

She looked up into his face. “I think we just found another thing that does it for you.”

“Well…right now it does.”

They kissed again and Max accidentally rested some of his weight on Liz’s sore wrist and she yelped.

“Oh God and fuck,” he said. “Sorry. Here, maybe we should tie it above your head?”

“I thought you were the one who like to be tied up?” she teased.

They made out for a bit and then Max undid the buttons on her jeans and started to slip his hand into her underwear. Liz breathed out loudly, “Max…I don’t think…”

“I do think,” he said and leaned down to kiss the top of her breast.

Suddenly Alex yelled from the front, “God Max, Liz! Shut the fuck up! Or at least try and be discreet! I don’t want to hear this.”

“I do,” Maria said from where she lay, “I was finding it very entertaining. Things were really starting to heat up.”

“Oh that’s sick Maria,” Isabel said. “Seriously. Did you want to hear them having sex?”

“I didn’t hear you say anything to shut them up,” Michael commented.

“Neither did you,” Fiona said.

Liz didn’t laugh at the turn of events but Max did. “What, is everyone awake?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Maria nodded. “So Max you liked to be tied up, aye?”

“Wait Kyle’s not awake,” Isabel pointed out.

Everyone was too tired to hassle them for long so they got off quiet easily. Liz lay back down and closed her eyes. She felt a little hit giddy with happiness and that hadn’t happened in years!

Eventually Max lay back down beside her and sucked in a deep breath. Unfortunately she had forgotten that it was his turn to drive next because she started to get comfortable all tucked into his chest when suddenly he was getting up and she was alone again.

When she woke up they were nearly in Knoxville and Max was still driving. She got up and on wobbly legs and walked towards him. He was sitting hunched over the large steering wheel with his hands clenched tightly together at the top. A smoke was dangling from his lips and he was wearing aviator sunglasses and his cowboy hat.

“What are the sunglasses for?” she asked with amusement. It was still dark outside. “Are you high?”

“I…” he thought about it for a moment. “May be. The oncoming traffic lights hurt my eyes.”

“Do the glasses help?” she asked.

“Unsure…” he rubbed his nose with his finger and then quickly put his hand back on the wheel. “They keep my eyes warm.”

“Your eyes warm?” Liz sat down on the ground. “You must be fucked. I think you should let me drive as soon as I wake up properly.”

“No need,” he said. “Nearly there.”

They turned the radio on full blast when they pulled into the new hotel. Together they laughed evilly as everyone woke up

“What now?” Liz asked. It was nearing three-thirty AM.

“I think we’re having a practice in the morning,” Max answered. “I think everyone’s gonna keep sleeping.”

“What about us?” Liz grinned. “What are we going to do?”

Max looked at her and chuckled. “Before I do anything I need to stretch my fuckin’ legs. They hurt like shit. Want to go for a walk?”

“A walk where?” she asked.

“Does it fuckin’ matter where?”

“I suppose not.”

“Right-o.” He stood up and fixed his hat. “We’re off then.”

Everyone else went and checked in but Max and Liz walked across the car park and off down the street. Liz was wearing her white boots and furry jacket and Max was clad in his leather, black hat and aviators. She tried to take his hat from him but he wouldn’t let her.

“The hat completes my look,” he said with all seriousness.

She wondered if she was supposed to hold his hand or something but quickly dismissed the idea. How gay would they look then? They weren’t the type of people that held hands. They were the type of people that always had cigarettes in their mouths and looked like they didn’t give a fuck about anything.

Liz looked up at Max as he walked and suddenly felt the age difference between them. She felt eighteen with no experience and no clue. He knew a lot more about what she was feeling than she did.

He looped his arm around her shoulders. “I want a burger,” he said. “You think anything’s open?”

“Dunno,” she said back. “We can look.”

“Do you have any money?”

“Huh!” she snorted. “Not likely. Do you?”

“Meh…” he shrugged. “Maybe a couple of dollars.”

~*~

“You broke my fuck buddy,” Tess whined. “Thanks a freakin’ lot.”

“What are you talking about?” Liz asked.

They were sitting around on some theatre seats in a huge city hall. The building was way classier than what the band was used to performing in and the seats were cushioned and red velvet. It could have been an old Opera house with its gold frostings and balcony’s. Liz and Tess sat halfway up the isle watching as the band practiced on the stage.

“Max,” Tess continued. “Ah duh. I suggested we have a go because of old times sake and he told me no. It’s your fault, isn’t it?”

“It’s not my fault,” Liz argued. “It’s his decision. Maybe he’s just not into you anymore.”

Inside she felt a little swell of affection and couldn’t tear her eyes off Max talking to Alex on stage. She smiled.

“When we fucked before it was never about whether we were into one another or not. It was about FUCKING. And you broke it!”

“Well again,” Liz said. “It’s his decision. Not mine.”

“Yeah yeah.”

Liz tried bending her hand backwards but it hurt too much. “My wrist is killing me,” she said.

“Still?” Tess said. “I think you should go and get it checked out. I’ll come if you like.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

Liz was about to get up when the band started singing the song Max wrote about her. She looked towards the stage in surprise and then sunk back into her seat. “We can go right after this song.”


You got it
I want it
So baby so sweet
Jett black hair
Leather on thigh
You make me flip baby
Whoa
Everytime
But you don't give a damn
You're just a fink for the man
You sure let me know
You don't give a damn



~*~


God, I didn't realize how long it took me to get this written. How slack am I? Sorry bout that guys. It's a pretty...nothing part. Is this fic classified as fluff? I don't want it to be so maybe I'll change that.

Hope you liked, thanks everyone for you fb. Especially you new guys that took the time to catch up!

~Nicola

TWELVE


Liz’s wrist was only sprained, not broken, so the doctor bandaged it up and gave her some pain killers. She asked if there would be any side effects if she took the pills with alcohol. He thought she was joking and laughed.
Then he stopped smiling when he realized she was serious and asked if she suffered from depression, headaches or vomiting and now, come to think about it, perhaps he should do further tests. She quickly left before he could prod her with needles. She didn’t want to know if she was healthy or not. She probably wasn’t, not with the lifestyle she led.
In her opinion, being ignorant was a blessing.
When she and Tess returned to the town hall the band was having a lunch break. Michael made fun of her by making the international sign for jacking off and saying that ‘there would be no more of that for a while’.
“She has her other hand,” Isabel laughed. “Do you think you can do it with your left Liz?”
Liz rolled her eyes. “Give me some food.”
Max was sitting on the edge of the stage with his feet dangling over the side. He found it amusing when she told him about the doctor and his insistent questions about her lifestyle. Because of her wrist she couldn’t lift herself up onto the stage to sit next to him so she just leaned her back against the wall.
“Are you going to sing that song tonight at the concert?” she asked.
“What song?”
Why did he always do that, she wondered? Surely he knew what she was talking about. “That one about me,” she answered.
“Probably,” he said with a mouthful of sandwich. “Do you disapprove? Are you going to sue me? You have no proof.”
“Sue you?” Liz chuckled. “Where would I get the money for that? No, I was just wondering.”
“Do you like it now?”
“It’s okay,” she lied. She loved it.
Liz was dying to ask him what was going to happen in Brooklyn but she didn’t. She wanted to just ‘go with the flow’ like he appeared to be but lately that was so hard. He banged his thigh against her shoulder until she told him to stop it.
“You know,” he said, “You’re a really bad liar Brownie.”

She threw her hands up in the air, “I thought you’d forgotten about calling me that!”

“How can I—when your immense bottom reminds me constantly?” he laughed. “Don’t look at me like that, I think it’s cute. The rest of you is so small and then there’s this—”

“You might want to stop talking right there,” Liz said and went to walk away but he grabbed her arm. She was so offended.

“Oh come on,” he smiled. “Loosen up. Don’t be so insulted all the time. Want to go back stage and fuck?”

“Are you kidding me?” she said, horrified. “I don’t think so.”

“Come on…” he pleaded. “All this talk of your ass has made me hot. You know you want to.”

She sighed and rubbed her eyes tiredly. “Is that all I am to you? Someone to fuck backstage?”

He let go of her. “What’s the problem?” he asked. “When you first got here you were so care free. Now…”

Liz suddenly pushed him roughly in the chest. “Well things have changed!” she yelled angrily. “And I don’t feel like it.”

He watched her walk away and cursed.

~*~

Liz decided she would (for the first time in her life) take care of herself and not have alcohol while she was on pain killers. It was going to be hard…especially when the drinking started before the concert and didn’t let up until all hours of the morning.

Backstage she smoked cigarettes to busy herself but ended up having to go outside and stand on the stairs. The concert was about to start and everyone was having a ‘good luck drink’—something that happened constantly.

As the band was walking towards the stage Max suddenly stopped and turned around.

“What the fuck Max?” Michael shoved him forward.

“I’ll be right back,” he said.

“MAX!” Kyle yelled after him. “Fuckin hell!”

Max ran out onto to the steps and stopped in front of Liz.

“What are you doing?” she asked in surprise. “You’re supposed to be going on!”

“I perform like shit when I’ve got something on my mind—something like this. I’m sorry about earlier,” he said, “I won’t drink tonight either. We don’t even have to go back to the hotel. We’ll do something else.”

Tenderly he tugged her crocheted hat further down her head and buttoned up her jacket. “It’s fucking freezing out here. Don’t stay long or you’ll get a flu on top of everything.”

She nodded. “Okay. Now get on the fucking stage right now.”

He kissed her on the mouth quickly and then ran inside.

Liz tried to remain blasé about what had just happened but in the end couldn’t. She felt an undeniable urge to grab him and never let him go. Maybe she really liked him.

Was that what she was feeling?

She felt like he could take care of her and she desperately needed to be taken of. Maybe in turn, she could take care of him too? He seemed to have something on his mind, like her, even if he tried to hide it.

Fiona came outside and put her arm around Liz. “So,” she said, “How’re you holding up?”

“I’m good,” Liz said with a smile. “What about you?”

“Can’t complain…but…I’d feel better if you came inside.”

“Okay.”

They went and stood on the side of the stage so they could watch the guys perform. They were singing a series of new songs tonight—all written by Max. Occasionally Michael co-wrote with him but the majority was Max’s expertise. She watched him walk about the stage with his microphone in one hand and lifting his other into the air and waving it about.

He was one of those performers that got involved with the audience and took a moment in a song to yell out something or rather. He was wearing his hat but occasionally took it off and at some point put it on Alex.

He was a natural. She had total faith in his abilities as a performer.

“They’re great!” Fiona yelled to her. “They’re gonna be fuckin’ huge. You’ll see.”

Isabel must have heard. “You really think?” she yelled back. She loosely wrapped her arms around Liz’s shoulders from behind and kissed her cheek.

“Oh yeah!”

Isabel and Liz swayed together, eyes glued to the stage and the fans. When Liz’s song started everything seemed to go in slow motion and she thought—I’m never going to forget this moment. With Isabel holding her, Fiona dancing beside her, Max performing in front of her. As her vision blurred and everything became one, she realized once more that she cared the world for these people.

That was the last she remembered of that night. She woke up in bed in one of the hotel rooms in the morning with no one around. She stared up at the ceiling and noticed the fan was spinning around and the curtains were pulled closed. Light was coming through the cracks.

She wondered what had happened to her. She tried to think back but couldn’t come up with anything. That was a bad feeling—loosing time was never a good thing.

Thankfully she didn’t have to wait long to find out. Fiona walked in, looking like she’d just woken up, and was very happy to see Liz’s eyes were open.

“What happened to me?” Liz asked. “Am I going to die?”

She laughed. “Don’t be dramatic. You fainted and then we called a doctor and he said you were just having a reaction to the pain killers and if you stop taking them you’ll be fine. He gave you new ones for your wrist, but you don’t have to take them if you don’t want.”

“Oh,” Liz said. “Did I make everyone panic?”

“Well Isabel got the biggest shock! It took me a moment to notice but then Jim came and lifted you. The guys had a short break after their next song to find out what had happened and then went back out.”

“They came off to check on me? Oh that’s really cool.”

The door opened again and this time it was Max. He was dressed and showered and had a coffee in his hand. “You’re up,” he said simply and shut the door behind him.

“Hmmm…” Liz mumbled. “Is that for me?”

“Yip,” he said. “You missed the rest of the concert. How fuckin’ rude.”

She smiled. “Yeah, sorry ‘bout that.”

“I’m gonna go,” Fiona said with a grin. “Just wanted to check and see if you were better. I’m gonna get dressed. See ya later.”

“What are the plans for the day?” Liz asked and propped herself up on the pillows.

“Nothing that I know of,” Fiona said and then she was gone. Max sat down on the edge of the bed and gave Liz her coffee. She gladly sipped it.

“The band has an interview with some magazine,” he said. “That’s at two. Maybe you need to stay in bed all day?”

“I’m not staying in bed all day by myself,” she grinned.

“I thought you were mad at me?” he swallowed. “Actually…about that. I didn’t mean to come across as a sleaze, I just…well, when I see you I just want to fuck you. Can’t help it, I just do. That’s the way it is.” He raised his eyebrows. “Nevertheless, that’s not the only thing I want from you.”

“I know,” she said. “I was in a bad mood yesterday afternoon because of the doctor. And for the record—when I see you, I want to fuck you too.”

He laughed. “Well that’s good.”

“Want to take off your pants and hop in with me? I’ll share my coffee with you. It’s too fuckin’ cold to be up anyway.”

Max shrugged and said, “Why not?” He was going commando—as he frequently did—so he got in beside her naked. Then he had a sip of her coffee.

“Some time,” he said, “I’ve really got to teach you some more guitar chords.”

She took the cup out of his hands—“Sure, of course,”—and put it on the dresser. Then she moved closer to him and they kissed. “Just not this second.”

“I thought you wanted to talk to me,” he said but made no effort to move away.

“What gave you that idea?” she asked, “Was it when I asked you to take off your pants?”

He smiled. “Silly me.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. In response he put his hands on her hips and slid them up her lower back, feeling her warm bare skin.

It didn’t take long until they were lying back on the mattress, Liz underneath while Max kissed her neck and shoulders vigorously. He removed the tank top she was wearing and did the same thing to her breasts, using his lips, tongue and teeth to give her pleasure.

She moaned when he removed her underwear and propped himself between her legs. He lowered his lips to her wetness and she shuddered in sweet agony as he used his mouth on her there, too. One of her legs went over shoulder and the other bent to the side.

Just watching the flexing muscles in his shoulders and back was enough to make her dizzy. His chin was stubbly and his prickly cheeks grazed the inside of her thighs. That was a nice enough feeling, without his lips closing over her nub and his tongue toying with her folds…

It wasn’t long until a spasm made her cry out with release. Her thighs clenched momentarily and Max pulled back to look at her face and her stiff body as she writhed because of his handy work.

Liz was still panting when he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and rested his body on hers again. She could feel that he was very aroused but he held back from entering her.

“Do have your diaphragm in?” he asked softly.

She looked up at his dark eyes. “No and I don’t know where my things are.”

“They’re here,” he said. “On that chair over there. Should I get it?”

“No, just give me a minute.”

She got up, on wobbly legs, and disappeared into the bathroom with her bags. Max lay on his back and waited patiently, staring at the ceiling with his hands behind his head.

When she came back she crawled onto the bed beside him and kissed his mouth. Max fleetingly noticed that she’d brushed her teeth but forgot when her left hand closed over his balls and toyed with them mercilessly.

They shifted so he was on top again and she wrapped her legs around his waist so he could glide in easily. His bare chest pressed against hers briefly and then rose as he arched his back to thrust in. He was very careful not to knock her sore wrist that rested lightly on the back of his neck.

She ran her other hand through her hair and he closed his eyes when he pulled out slightly and drove in again. She kissed the tip of his nose, loving the concentration on his face in that moment and he opened his eyes again. A smile crossed his mouth and then he began to move faster inside her and she threw her head back. Her thighs tightened their hold around his hips and her toes clenched.

He was filling her as far as he could possibly go and she felt stretched to near pain. That’s exactly what she wanted—pain. She wanted him to pinch her nipples and scratch her skin but he didn’t. He was so conventional and she wanted dirt and to act insane.

The door to their room opened then, just when sweat was gathering on their skin. It was Isabel and she swore embarrassedly but didn’t leave. She hesitated, looking at them with an unreadable expression.

Max paused and turned his head to look at her.

“Uh…” she said, openly staring at their joint bodies, “Do you think you should be doing that? Liz was not well last night…”

“Yes,” Max and Liz replied at the same time and then looked back at one another with amusement.

Isabel hesitated again and then asked, “Can I watch?”

Max and Liz didn’t care, just as long as they could finish. They ignored her and pressed their mouths together in a quick kiss before continuing their movements.

They didn’t care if a million people were scrutinizing them right now; they were so caught up in the moment. Liz clawed at Max’s shoulders and stared up at him as he threw his head back. He was so hot, even the veins in his neck—bulging out from the pressure—were sexy to her right now.

She imagined them in slow motion like she had during the concert the night before. He moaned and bit his lip and she moaned back, feeling the familiar tightening as she neared orgasm. One of his hands grasped her thigh tightly—nearly so hard that his finger tips would bruise her. She wanted him to hold her tighter.

He thrust into her again, grazing the skin at the opening of her centre and released. She released too, her inner thighs tingled and her heart missed a beat. A drip of sweat ran down in-between Max’s shoulder blades and down his lower back. Everything paused for one instant when they shared the burn.

Then they collapsed in unison.

Isabel let out a deep breath and bit her hand. “That was so hot,” she said.



~*~

Hello Hello!

Hope you liked that and everyone's having a good easter weekend, thanks for everyhting

~nicola

THIRTEEN

Thankfully Isabel left the room straight away so there was no opportunity to be awkward. Max and Liz were both a little uncomfortable about her having seen them but quickly forgot it. They were too wrapped up in one another to dwell on her sexual quirks.

“Is your wrist okay? I didn’t hurt it did I?” Max was being so tender with her right in that moment. She felt so close to him, closer then she’d ever been with any man.

She smiled and shook her head. “You didn’t hurt me, don’t worry.”

He wrapped his arms around her little body and kissed her with overflowing need. It surprised Liz and when they broke off she teased, “Was that your tongue I just felt? I thought you didn’t like that.”

He shrugged. “That doesn’t mean you don’t.”

“You want to please me?” she asked with surprise. She wasn’t used to that. Men usually did what they wanted when it came to being with her. “That’s sweet.”

He put his hand on her hair. “Liz…why do I get the impression that you are so…unaware of yourself. As if…you don’t think you have anything good to offer anyone. It’s like you don’t think you deserve…I dunno…love or something.”

She looked down at the blanket so as not to face his deep eyes. “Well I don’t really have anything to offer anyone. I’m not smart, I’m not beautiful and I don’t have money or any talents.”

Max swallowed. “What makes you think that?”

Liz was silent for a long time. “Well…I don’t. And a while ago I asked my mom if she thought I was worth something and she said yes but she couldn’t give me any reasoning behind it.”

“You’re worth something,” Max said softly. “I like you don’t I?”

She chuckled but it was a suffocated, desperate sound. “Yeah, I don’t know why.”

“I do,” he said. “It’s because you stood up to me. That was the first thing that made you appeal—your fire. You knew I was being a prick and you weren’t afraid to tell me. You made everyone here love you within a matter of hours because you have this way about you. Do you know what you are?”

“What?” she asked shyly.

“You’re a show stopper. People notice when you walk in the door. You bring life to any and everything.”

Liz felt tears come to her eyes. “You don’t have to make me feel better.”

“I’m just telling you the truth,” he said. “You’re one of those people that makes life interesting. You’re random and fun.”

Liz had never had someone talk so kindly about her. She couldn’t help but shed a tear. Max wiped it away with his index finger.

“What happened to you that made you so down on yourself?”

Liz buried her face in his shoulder and mumbled, “Everything.”

He ran his hand up and down her bare back. “Trust me, you’re appreciated here.”

They were silent for a long time, just entwined in a big naked mess. It started to rain outside and the room got dark as the sky turned cloudy and grey.

“You know…” Max suddenly laughed. “Isabel’s fucken weird. If I had been thinking coherently I would have told her to piss off.”

Liz laughed too. “Yeah. What was that?”

Max wanted to show her some more guitar chords so she sat at the end of the bed and rested his guitar on her lap. He sat behind her and positioned her hands on the right strings.

“Oh man,” he said with a grin. “How fucken hot is that? A naked Liz holding my guitar.”

She smiled. “Just show me the chords before I change my mind.”

“Wait—one minute.”

He suddenly dug around in his bag and grabbed his cowboy hat and aviator sunglasses. Then he put them on her and started snapping pictures, claiming he couldn’t forget how she looked right now.

When he was done with the camera he sat behind her again and moved her hands on the chords. His bare body touching her from behind and his arms around her shoulders was too much of a distraction.

Especially when she tied her hair up and he started kissing her neck. She tilted her head to look at him. “How am I supposed to do this with you continuously touching me?”

“I’m sorry?” he asked and then pressed his mouth to her skin again. “I didn’t realize this would distract you.”

“Oh no,” she said. “Of course not.”

She attempted playing again but gave up. In the end she begged him to show her something and so he played her a short tune and then put the guitar away. “Perhaps you’d be better at the piano?”

“You know how to play the piano?” she asked with surprise.

“Darlin’—I play every instrument there is. You give me a drum set and I’ll play it. God you give me a fuckin’ violin and I’ll play it for you.”

“Play it,” she said teasingly, “but not well.”

He shook his head. “Look, one day I’ll prove it to you.”

There was a knock at the door and Max wrapped the sheet around his waist and went and answered it. It was the cleaner; she wanted to know if he needed new towels or anything. He let her into the bathroom and chuckled at her flushed face when she scampered out again afterwards.

The moment the door closed he dropped the sheet and climbed back onto the bed. Liz laughed and fell backwards, “What—more?”

“Of course,” he said and climbed on top of her. “Like I’m done with you yet.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and they kissed. Liz felt like she was floating. “I’m really starting to like you,” she said when they broke away.

Looking into her eyes he replied, “I’m really starting to like you too.”

~*~

They were in the room until Max had to leave for the magazine interview. Then as they headed downstairs—he took her hand and held it! Liz didn’t know what to say, she felt that silly floating sensation again. He just grinned at her and told her to hurry up—they’d be late.

“Maybe if you hadn’t insisted on a shower…” she said.

“Maybe if you hadn’t insisted on getting all dirty…” he clicked his tongue against his teeth.

Suddenly Maria came running towards them down the passage. Liz stopped smiling; there was panic all over her friends face. “Liz,” she panted. “I was just talking to my mom on the phone. They’ve been trying to get in touch with you. You have to go home straight away.”

“Why?” Liz asked, paling. “What’s happened?”

“Your mom, she’s in the hospital,” Maria said desperately, “She’s had a stroke babe. She might not live much longer.”

“What?” Liz tore her hand away from Max’s and put it over her mouth. “Oh my God. How long ago?”

“Over a week.”

Liz swallowed. “I think I’m going to be sick. I have to sit down.”

She sat down exactly where she was, in the middle of the walkway. Maria and Max squatted next to her. Maria touched her leg. “It’s okay, we’re here.”

“How am I going to get back?” Liz wondered allowed. “Fuck, fuck…”

“You shouldn’t travel tonight,” Max said. “Leave in the morning. You never know if the painkillers have worn off completely.”

“Max,” Liz looked at him. “You’re going to be late. Get to your fucking interview.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. “Are you going to be okay?”

She nodded and then looked away, towards Maria. “Will you come back with me?”

Maria hesitated.

“No…don’t worry. Of course not, I can go alone.” Liz ran a shaky hand through her hair. “I can’t believe this. What can I do?”

“Let’s go for a walk,” Maria said. “We’ll talk about it.”

Liz and Maria walked all afternoon, only stopping to eat. It was the only way Liz could stop herself from going insane—to keep moving. They walked the streets even when the rain started again. Maria was sympathetic; she knew what Liz was going through.

At dinner time they joined the band in the bar and ate with them. She was quiet but everyone was conscious that this might be the last time they see her for a while and so they toasted her. With his beer raised Michael told her she’d be missed and she was welcome back when-thefuck-ever.

She tried not to cry. She didn’t want to leave but she wanted to go to her mother as well. She lit a cigarette and lifted her legs to her chest. With her eyes watering she said to them all, “This fuckin’ sucks.”

Fiona put her arm around her, “Your mom will be fine,” she said and started stroking her hair. “And we’ll be in Brooklyn when you get back. We’ll be waiting for you.”

Max didn’t say anything. He smoked his cigarette and watched.

They stayed at the table, drinking continuously until late. Kyle took Liz for a dance and she rested her head on his shoulder while they swayed. His arms were on her arms, her hips—holding her up. She said to him, “Thank you Kyle…for everything.”

“No thank you babe,” and he smiled.

Michael came and requested a dance next. When he took her hands she started to cry and he kissed her. “Don’t be sad,” he said.

Then Alex, then Jim, then Jeff. They all danced with her until she was exhausted but she wouldn’t stop. She even danced with the girls all at once.

Max didn’t dance with her. He waited at the table quietly smoking and sipping a beer. Waiting for them all to be done. Waiting for his turn.

Finally they all gave her one last hug and kiss and said they’d miss her. It was nearing four AM when they went to bed. Max got up from the table and walked towards her, standing alone on what had been the dance floor. She had puffy eyes and he simply put his arm around her shoulders and they walked outside to the car park.

Liz decided they’d sit on the roof of the bus so she climbed up the hood and dangled her legs over the side. Silently Max followed her and then they sat, enjoying the quiet for a long time. It seemed like hours had passed when Max suddenly said, “The last time I was in Brooklyn someone very close to me died.”

Liz looked at him in shock. She didn’t say anything.

“It was my daughter,” he continued. “She was nine.”

She gasped. “What?”

He stared ahead of him, into the sky. “Her mother—she and I don’t get on and she didn’t let me see her very often. We were just twenty when we met and after a one night stand she calls me up nine months later and tells me I have a baby girl and her name is Kimber.”

Liz watched as he lay back, his back spreading across the cold metal roof of the bus. She clenched her hands together and listened, dumbfounded.

“Anyway, I met Kimber and of course—knowing she was apart of me—I instantly just…worshipped her. She was a fucking angel, my angel, and God…just so beautiful.”

His voice was so soft and heartbroken. Liz couldn’t look at his face, she wasn’t used to seeing Max upset and she didn’t know if she could cope with it right now.

“I visited whenever I could and she grew up, knowing I was her father and she always smiled when I came and visited her. I used to take her for walks on the wharf and she’d hold my hand and everything. Hard to imagine, yeh?” he chuckled breathlessly, “She was hit by a car and I didn’t even find out until we arrived back in town. Her fucking mom…she didn’t even fucking call.”

Liz sensed he wanted to be comforted and she lay down beside him, curling into his side.

“God I miss her so much,” he said. “More than life itself. The tattoo on my back, it’s a drawing she did when I last saw her.”

Liz pressed her mouth to his shoulder. “How do the others not know about this?” she asked.

He shook his head. “I never told them. That’s all.”

“Max…” she lifted her head and looked at him. “I’m so sorry. That’s horrible; I can’t believe what you must have gone through.”

He stared up at her and then lifted his hand and put it on her cheek. He thought she looked so beautiful with the stars twinkling behind her and her eyes glistening. “It’s nice to finally get it out.”

“God I’ll bet,” she said. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” he nodded. “What about you?”

“Scared shitless about going home. I don’t know what I’m going to find when I get there.”

“It won’t be the same around here without you,” he said. “I’ve really gotten used to having you around.”

She smiled. “Yeah I bet you have.”

They kissed for a moment, clinging onto to one another. Max said quietly against her mouth, “you’re gonna come back right?’

“Do you want me to?” she asked, her nose touching his.

He smiled. “Yeah, I do.”

Liz told him that it was weird how fast this was all happening—her leaving. Whenever she’s imagined it she’d seen it happening much, much slower. Right now she’d barely had time to comprehend everything. “I don’t feel like I’ve said enough of a goodbye to everyone.”

“You have,” he said.

When they finally got down off the bus they didn’t go back into the hotel. They lay down on one of the couches inside the vehicle and slowly made love. It was becoming light outside when they finally drifted off, getting only a couple of hours sleep before Jim woke them up by opening the luggage compartments on the side of the bus.

Liz stirred and slowly sat up rubbing her eyes. Max stretched and scratched his chest. Outside they heard Michael and Jeff talking and then Jim unlocked the doors. Slowly they got up and climbed off the bus.

“Morning,” Max said to them all. “What another couple of hours shut-eye is too much to ask?”

Jim smirked. “Nope. We have to be off.”

It didn’t take long for everything to be packed on board and soon everyone was ready to go. Liz stood off to the side, her bag at her feet. She tried to cross her arms over her chest but her wrist hurt too much.

Max came and gave the corner of her mouth a kiss. “See ya later,” he said. She forced a smile.

“Yeah, yeah,” she said back. “No long dramatic goodbyes.”

He snorted. “As if.”

They stared silently at each other for a moment and then he touched her arm tenderly, running his fingers up and down.

The bus started and he had to go so he took off his cowboy hat and handed it to her. “I want you to have this,” he said and then turned and left, offering her a soft smile.

She watched the bus pull away and in a gesture, both funny and heart-warming, she saw them all bend over and moon her out the windows. Jim beeped the horn several times and they all screamed, “BYE!” and started singing all at once, “Slick it back -
Gimme some grease - You got it - I want it.”

She chuckled sadly to herself and waved until they were out of sight.

“So baby so sweet
Jett black hair
Leather on thigh
You make me flip baby
Whoa
Everytime”

~*~

Hellllo everyone! One of my friends is trying to find out where I post my writing so she can read it and I don't want her to so I have to give myself a less obvious name in case she somehow finds out.
Anyway, hope you liked this part! Thank you so much for your feedback!

~nicola

FOURTEEN

Liz did a lot of thinking as she hitch-hiked home. The first man that picked her up was in his late sixties and seemed very friendly. Unfortunately she didn’t feel like talking, and he couldn’t stop. In her hands she held Max’s hat and absentmindedly ran her fingers over the stitching, wondering why he’d given it to her.

“That’s a nice hat you’ve got there,” her driver said with a smile.

“Yeah,” Liz replied, smiling back. “It really is, isn’t it?” She lifted it to her face and smelled it. It smelt just like him.

Nothing would be the same when she rejoined them again. She knew that, but she didn’t want to believe it. She wanted to believe that everything would pick up where it had left off.

Would Max still have the same feelings for her? She couldn’t believe the unfairness of the situation. She was finally feeling something that made her undeniably happy and this had to go and ruin it all. She didn’t blame her mother (her poor, poor mother!) she blamed fate. It was cruel.

And just before she’d finally reached Brooklyn! The city she’d been brought up to love.

It took her three and a half days to finally get home. Maria and Fiona had given her all the money they could spare so she could afford a couple of motel rooms on the way. It was depressing staying in them by herself after being in them with the band for so long.

Despite the long delays Liz didn’t go straight to the hospital when she arrived. She went to her mom’s house and put down her things, had a shower and ate some food. She was nervous and couldn’t help procrastinating. Seeing her mother lying on a bed with God knows how much damage done to her body was not going to be easy. She had a shot of whisky from the cupboard above the fridge and then, because it helped so much—had another couple.

She felt utterly alone as she walked through the entrance doors with her bag clutched to her abdomen. She was wearing one of her old conventional dresses that she found in her wardrobe in her old room. Her mother would appreciate seeing her in it—she always used to complain about Liz’s ‘trashy’ fashion sense.

The nurse told her that Nancy had lost the ability to speak or communicate in any way other than blinking. This was exactly what Liz had been worrying about.

Her mother’s eyes were closed when she entered the room. She looked a lot different from the last time she’d seen her, alive and angry and yelling in the kitchen. Liz, almost afraid to break the calm of the room, sunk tentatively into the chair beside the bed and didn’t tear her eyes from her mother. The sunken skin and drooping features scared Liz and she almost got up and left.

“No,” she decided quietly to herself. This was her last opportunity to be a good daughter and she was going to use it. After a lifetime of being worthless she would show her mother that, if she died, it was going to damage her forever.

“Hi mom,” she finally said. Her hand hesitantly reached out and touched her mother’s cold one. She noticed her nails were painted a pretty red colour and this was surprising because Nancy had never been much of a nail-tarnish type of woman. “I’m sorry it took me so long to get here. I-I…” she decided not to make up some lame excuse, “I was scared.”

Liz licked her lips and scratched her neck nervously. If Max had taught Liz anything, it was not to take advantage of what she had because it could be gone, just like that. She was going to be completely honest with her mother.

“I’ve missed you,” she said quietly. This was not easy for her. “And I want to make things right between us.”

Liz had been staring at their hands, not wanting to watch at her mothers changed face, so when she looked up and saw her mother’s eyes open she involuntarily gasped.

“Blink if you can hear me,” she said.

Her mother blinked. Her facial expression didn’t change but Liz could tell from her eyes that she wanted to cry. Liz’s own eyes filled.

She had had hundreds of miles to think about what she would say but still couldn’t think of anything. Quietly she said, “Blink for yes, for no don’t blink, okay mom?”

Her mother blinked. Liz couldn’t bare the sadness in her eyes.

“Are you in any pain? Do you need anything?”

Liz waited. Her mother didn’t blink.

“I’m going to look after you from now on, okay? I’ll be here whenever you need something. You don’t have to worry.” Liz knew what was important. She was going to make her mother happy while she was still alive. “I’m back for good.”

She didn’t say anything for a while, just stared at her mother’s emotional eyes. Finally, “I know I haven’t been a very good daughter to you. Well I’m going to try to be from now on because I love you and I care about you getting better.”

After a sniffle Liz smiled, “Did you miss me?”

Her mother blinked.

She rubbed her nose and quietly, unsurely, scared, she asked, “Do you forgive me?”

Her mother blinked again.

“You don’t know how relieved that makes me feel.”

When her mother’s eyes began to drift close Liz pulled the blanket further up her body and kissed her cheek. She waited for a long time, thinking about how long it had taken her to finally say those things. They had definitely needed to be said.

It had taken the horror of a stroke and the shock of possibly loosing her to finally get them out.

Maria’s mom came and visited Nancy. She was shocked to find Liz sitting by her bed, her head back—looking exhausted.

“Liz!” she gasped and quickly came and gave her a hug. “You’re here. Oh I’m so glad. You’ve done a great thing coming back.”

Liz smiled. “It’s the only thing I could do.”

“You didn’t happen to bring my wayward daughter with you, did you?” she looked so hopeful.

“No,” Liz said sadly. “She stayed behind.”

“You came back all by yourself?”

“I don’t mind.”

“You seem so different from the last time I saw you,” she said. “I don’t know what it is. Older maybe.”

Liz hadn’t realized it but she was different from the last time she was home. With life experience came knowledge and even maturity. Being in the rock and roll atmosphere it hadn’t been so apparent but now, amongst civilised people, it was hard to miss.

Before going home late that night Liz spoke to the doctor about what kind of care her mother would now require. She told him she’d be happy to do whatever was necessary but he told her it needed to be a professional. That meant hired twenty-four-hour help and that meant money. Money she didn’t have.

When Liz got into her old bed after she’d arrived home, she was worrying about what she was going to do. She’d have to get a job to pay for everything.

There was regret in her decision. That meant she certainly wouldn’t know when she could see Max and the rest of Devils Gold again. That made her feel startling sadness. Especially alone in her bed, in the dark in a big empty house. Max used to hold her as they slept. He’d kiss her hair…

God she missed him.

When did she become so whipped? She laughed to herself, breaking the silence of the room, and rolled onto her stomach, burying her face in her pillow. She lay there, feeling sad and then got up and grabbed his hat.

She put it over her face, inhaling the smell and then closed her eyes. “Oh Max…” she mumbled, lying down on her back again. What she wouldn’t give to have him here, helping her through this. Was he thinking about her?

She couldn’t stop thinking about him. It was hard to believe that he’d once had a daughter. Knowing that…for some reason…it just filled her with such an aching tenderness that she couldn’t bear it.

On that last morning when they’d lay down together in the bus…she’d felt like she was leaving behind one of the best things she’d ever done with her life. She remembered resting on his falling-asleep arm, staring into his eyes and he said to her, “Who’m I gonna get my inspiration from anymore? Who’m I gonna write songs about?”

“Write about your heartbreak,” she replied.

He breathed in loudly. “Had too much of that Liz. I only want good times from now on.”

She nodded, and told him honestly, “Yeah well I think you’ve earned it. You deserve a little happiness.”

“So don’t make me wait too long.”

They hadn’t been able to hold each other close enough. This was all new to her and the feelings were intense…but she wasn’t so scared anymore.

Liz left Max’s hat on her face and eventually fell asleep. In the morning she got up, smoked three cigarettes, drank one cup of coffee and then went to the hospital. She walked in, wearing a black and white striped shirt and jeans, her jacket in her hands. The Doctor caught up with her in the hallway.

“Miss Parker,” he said. “I was just going to call you.”

That wasn’t a good sign. “You were?” she asked and instantly goose bumps broke out all over her body. “Has something happened?”

Her mothers nurse was standing next to him and her expression was sympathetic. Liz recognised her from high school. She didn’t know her name and they’d never been friends because Liz hadn’t been at high school long.

“I’m sorry,” the doctor said. “Your mother passed away this morning.”

“What?” Liz moaned.

“Its better this way,” the nurse said, trying to be helpful. “It’s like she was only holding on until she saw you again. You gave her peace before death. She was so restricted ever since the stroke, now she’s free in heaven.”

Liz was horrified. Was that supposed to make her feel better? She stumbled backwards and took a seat on one of the waiting room chairs. Her head in her hands, she tried to hide her pain. She didn’t want her ‘free in heaven’, she wanted her here.

Sarah…that was her name. She sat down next to her and put her hand on her shoulder. “I’m so sorry Liz,” she said. “I know this is hard.”

Liz sniffled, rubbing her eyes. “I came back here for her. I was going to make things better.”

“You did make things better,” Sarah said. “If there is anything I can do, anything at all. Don’t hesitate to ask.”

A tear dripped down Liz’s cheek. “Thank you.”

“I’ll bring you her things.”

Sarah left and Liz sat there for a long time, feeling numb. She’d had so much time to be there for her mother and she hadn’t used it. Now it was too late. She felt like a failure.

After she’d left the hospital she sat in her mother’s car in the car park. It was an old crusty car, but it was now hers. In the large brown paper sack Sarah had given her she found her mother’s green flowered sundress and several pieces of jewellery—a small gold cross on a chain, several rings and a dainty gold watch. Liz put the rings on; amazed they fitted her fingers and then stared at her hands resting on the steering wheel.

Who was here to look after her? There must be someone who could offer comfort?

She had a couple of uncles living in the city but none of them liked her. That’s what came with being a little tramp when you were young. No one could bring themselves to be concerned for your wellbeing.

Liz found her mother’s big circle sunglasses with orange lenses under the seat. She put them on and then stifled a laugh when she saw her reflection in the mirror. They did not suit her one bit.

Eventually she drove home, filled the bath with hot water and then lay back with the remainder of the whisky in her left hand. In her right hand was a cigarette. She continued to wear her mother’s sunglasses and had put on Max’s hat.

She felt comforted.

~*~

When Liz got out of the bathtub, nearly two hours later, she went into the kitchen and called Maria’s mom. She was still sitting at the circle table with the phone in front of her when Amy came around half an hour later.

She gave her a hug and made her lunch. Liz didn’t eat much. She had a headache from the whisky and felt physically nauseous.

“I don’t know how to plan a funeral,” she said, her head resting on her hands. “How do you plan a funeral?”

“Maybe you could ask one of your relatives to do it?”

“Yeah…” Liz shrugged. “I don’t know what she would have wanted anyway.”

Amy lit a cigarette and got up to boil another jug of water for tea. “I like your hat,” she said, leaning her hip against the sink. She was wearing a long, flowing patterned skirt and a peasant shirt. She had boots on her feet and her short hair was brown and wispy. “Where’d you get it?”

Liz ran her fingers over the embroidered table cloth. “A good friend gave it to me,” she said.

“Where is this ‘good friend’ when you need them most?” Amy asked. Then when she saw Liz’s thoughtful expression she added, “I’m sorry. I’m just thinking about Maria. I’m so disappointed in her for not coming with you. That just yanks my chain—it really does. Have I brought her up completely wrong, or what?”

“Don’t be annoyed with her,” Liz said slowly. “I can understand her reasoning.”

It was her Uncle Tom and his wife that planned the funeral—saving her from a big screw up. They did everything, even had the reception at their house. Everyone was very kind to her throughout the whole affair, which surprised her. They played songs like, ‘Reach out, I’ll be there’ all afternoon.


At the end, with a plate of left-over food Liz went home to the empty house and sat around. She had to decide what she was going to do now. It had only been a little over a week since she’d left the band. They would be in Brooklyn in a couple of days probably.

For some reason she felt insensitive planning to rejoin them so soon after her mother’s passing. She was dying to see Max but in the end decided to wait a while longer. Maybe she’d try and straighten herself out a bit.

~*~


Wow guys! So many new people reading this. Welcome! I'm glad you like it! I just want to make a note that I do not have a thing against mothers. As I was writing this I thought, wait a minute--why do I feel like I've just done this? And then I remembered Screen. Oooops haha.

Anyway, hope you liked it (despite the fact it was bit sad)
take care,
~nicola

FIFTEEN

It turned out that Nancy hadn’t in the best financial situation so Liz didn’t inherit a substantial fortune. She now owned the house but she didn’t plan to stay in town too long so it would be no use to her.

Her Uncle advised her to sell it and he knew about these things…however, she just couldn’t. In the end she decided to just leave it. Who knows? Maybe she’d need it again before she thought.

Exactly two weeks passed before she could no longer take it and packed up the car. She’d been doing nothing to pass her time and saw little point in continuing to hang around. How precisely did a person go about straightening themselves out? She didn’t know and therefore gave up.

There were a few things she would attempt however. Cutting down on the weed for one—and on cigarettes and alcohol. When eating, she’d opt for the healthy alternative. This meant more fruit and vegetables.

On Thursday she’d attempted going for a run but that was a horrible—laughable—mistake. She hadn’t even lasted five minutes.

Well that didn’t matter, she hadn’t run in years. The only way she kept the weight off was to replace meals with cigarettes. But that had to stop. Healthy eating would keep her slim now.

It would take her a while to get the journey done this time. She didn’t want to be behind the wheel twelve hours a day—this time she’d do the trip slowly. It would do her some good to spent time looking around the country, appreciating things she’d never noticed before.

She left on a Saturday morning and the goal was to be in Brooklyn by the same time next week. Hopefully her mother’s car wouldn’t give her as much trouble as her old one had.

~*~

What is something I am passionate about?

Liz seemed to have this question on her mind all day long. It was only because she couldn’t come up with an answer that it plagued her so. Maybe some people just don’t have great loves, she decided.

She had a lot of time to think about these things as she drove.

Maybe some people were just supposed to be content in living, in experiencing worldly things. Maybe random life and the absence of ‘normalcy’ was a good thing. How was normalcy defined anyway? Who made these stereotypes of the way life ‘should’ be?

She came up with the theory that life was only made difficult because of the tradition and ideals imposed by elders. If the importance of goals and a great career hadn’t been hammered into her by society since birth she wouldn’t be experiencing an identity crisis.

Liz decided she was going to find a way to be content with what she was and stop trying to define every little aspect of her life. She was going to be happy in the fact that she broke convention and tested the limits.

There would be no more trying to ‘find herself’ and no more soul searching. She would just simply be and that would do. As long as she was true to herself and didn’t turn her back on her views, what could be wrong with that?

This realization brought her great peace as she was nearing Brooklyn. It wasn’t quite the answers she’d been hoping for but it was something. It made life less confusing for her to finally have her own ideas on things.

She stopped at a rest stop half an hour outside of the city and got out of the car. It was Friday evening and was nearing midnight. She’d already made the decision to keep driving until she got to Brooklyn but she needed a quick moment to collect herself.

She stretched her arms and legs and then leaned back against the bonnet. It was cold because it was December and when she breathed she could see it in the air. It would be Christmas in less than a week. What would she be doing then?

She hoped she was with Max.

It was hard to believe that she was finally going to see it. Brooklyn, the city she was named after. It was exhilarating.

When she got back into the car she was definitely ready. She wondered what the rest of the night was going to look like. Would she and Max spent it fervently fucking until raw and spent? God she hoped so. She ached to feel him again.

He’d told her where she could find him and she’d studied the map. She hoped the traffic wouldn’t be too bad but as soon as she got there she instantly realized, hoping that would be like hoping New York wasn’t New York.

The city was busy and so [/i]alive[/i]. It was just how she’d expected it, so full of light and beautiful.

It was nearly two when she pulled up outside Devils Gold headquarters. They shared a warehouse with a handful of lofts that were partitioned off for each member. It had only been that way for two years, before that they’d lived separately. It was more convenient this way because they were constantly working on something band-related.

Liz wondered if they’d be up. Surely they would…it was a Saturday morning after all. She quickly checked her refection in the rear-view mirror and applied some lipstick. Finally she got out onto the pavement and pulled on her fur jacket and hat.

She was wearing cowboy boots and jeans. Her hair was curly. She hoped she looked good.

Filled with apprehension she rung the bell and waited. And waited. It took a long time for someone to answer. The person who finally showed up was Tess.

She gasped. “Liz, is that you? Fuck!”

Though they’d never been extremely close Tess was kind and gave Liz a welcome back hug. “Everyone will be really glad to see you,” she said and closed the door. With her arm around her, Tess led the way upstairs. “Nobody is really up right now but I’m sure they’ll all get up when they hear you’re back.”

“Everyone’s in bed?” Liz asked with surprise.

“Yeah they’ve got a rehearsal in the morning. You won’t believe it but they’re making a recording on Monday. They’re really nervous about it.”

“Oh yeah?” Liz asked. “Wow that’s fucking awesome.”

“Yeah it’s a pretty big deal.”

Liz nodded. “I’ll say!”

She wasn’t sure what to think about the building. It wasn’t anything special. At the top of the stairs was a large lounge area with a kitchen coming off to the left. There were couches positioned in a half circle in the middle and the band equipment was off to the right, near the rear wall. The décor wasn’t special, mostly what you’d expect from an all-male rock band. There were tie-dyed throws over the couches and rock posters on the walls.

Tess had obviously been sitting in the lounge because all the lights were on. A couple of guys that Liz didn’t know were sitting around drinking from coffee mugs.

“Hi,” Liz said unsurely. Where was her confidence? They smiled back and said hi.

“How’s your mom?” Tess asked.

Liz swallowed. “Oh..um, well…”

Tess could see from her expression. She didn’t need to explain. “Oh God, I’m sorry Liz.”

Liz just shrugged, not wanting to talk about it.

“Who do you want to wake up first?” Tess quickly changed the subject. “Wait I know. Duh. Max’s room is the end one on the left—down that corridor. You see?”

Liz saw. She nodded and dropped her bag on the floor at the foot of one of the couches and headed off.

“It’s cool you’re back,” Tess said after her and dropped down next to one of the guys.

Liz was slow down the hallway and then had to suck in a deep breath before opening his door. Please have missed me, she thought while fixing his hat on her head. None of the lights were on in the rooms down the corridor, including his. This gave her quite the element of surprise.

She turned the knob softly, careful not to creek the door and peered inside. His room was huge, she could tell even in the dark, but she couldn’t pinpoint any of the furniture. She hoped she wouldn’t trip over anything—that would ruin the surprise.

His bed was right near the end. She could hear him breathing and if she strained see the rise and fall of his chest. She couldn’t get across the room to him fast enough.

Her eyes were slowly adjusting to the dark when she knelt down on the floor beside the bed. She leaned over him, resting one hand on either side of his body, and looked down at his sleeping face with a grin. He didn’t move, not even when she flicked her tongue over his lips playfully and then placed her mouth on him. She kissed sweetly and exactly how he liked.

Finally he stirred and sighed against her. One of his hands came up to rest on her arm and his eyes blinked open. Liz pulled back and looked at him.

He gasped. “Brownie? God is that you? It can’t be…”

She was about to reply when suddenly, shocking her out of her happy daze, Liz noticed the bed shift to Max’s right. He stiffened beneath her and not wanting to (afraid of what she’d find) Liz turned her head and examined the mattress beside him.

It was not empty.

She tore her arm away from his and stood up. “Fuck,” she said.

“Liz?” a female asked—somehow with a mixture of happiness and horror all at once. Liz knew that voice.

“Fiona?” she gasped. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t continue to stand there like a complete and utter fool. She turned and left the room, feeling her face redden and her eyes…burn?

Someone followed her but she kept going, determined to just disappear. Unfortunately she tripped on something and very ungracefully stumbled—only just regaining her balance before hitting the floor. She couldn’t have been happier when she got out into the hallway.

It was Max who’d followed her. He grabbed her arm and spun her around. Before she even had a chance to say anything he kissed her with abandon. “You’re back!” he hissed passionately. “This is fucking great!”

She pushed him away. “Get off me.”

He had a sheet around his waist but other than that was naked. His hair was tied back. Liz thought he looked fucking gorgeous but she wasn’t about to let him know it.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, seeing her unhappy expression. He tried to come closer to her but she backed away.

“What’s the matter?” she cried. “What the hell are you doing in bed with Fiona?!”

He rubbed his eyes and swallowed. Quietly he said, “I didn’t know if you were coming back…”

Liz pushed him in the chest. “I TOLD you I was!” she yelled. “It hasn’t even been a month! You couldn’t wait a month for me? Fucking pig!”

He hadn’t taken his eyes off her. They were roaming from her feet to her face and back again. “It’s just sex,” he said slowly, “you know what we have means more than that. How’s your mom?”

“What we have?” she exclaimed, wanting to punch him and completely ignoring his question. She didn’t know what she had been expecting but she was so disappointed and couldn’t have hidden it if she wanted to. “We have shit.”

He paused, trying to see if she really meant that. “What are you talking about?”

Liz backed further away from him.

“You think I told you about Kimber for fun?” he asked. She could see it wasn’t easy for him to say that name. “Fuck I’m sorry. I’m so glad you’re back—you know I am.”

Fiona appeared in the doorway, also naked except for a blanket. She looked from Liz to Max hesitantly. “Liz, you’re back…”

“Yeah, what a shame for you,” she snapped angrily.

Fiona bit her lip. “I didn’t know you’d be so ups—”

Liz laughed without any humour. “Oh yes you did.”

Suddenly the door behind her flung open and a half awake Isabel cried, “What the hell is all this noise—Liz? Holy shit LIZ!” she jumped on her and gave her such a tight hug that she almost felt the wind come out of her. Liz suddenly felt better and quickly hugged her friend back.

“Isabel,” she said happily. “Hi darling!”

Isabel gave her mouth a quick kiss and dragged her down the hallway banging on everyone’s doors. “Liz is back everyone! WAKE UP! Liz is back!”

Liz laughed. “Isabel you’re a crazy person—”

Kyle leapt up from behind and hugged her tightly. “Liz!” he cried. “’Bout time!”

“Kyle!” Isabel laughed, noticing his nakedness. “Put some clothes on!”

“Nah don’t bother,” Liz laughed, grinning from ear to ear. “Nice to see all of you again Kyle.”

Michael and Alex were slower in getting up but finally joined everyone in the lounge a few minutes later. Liz felt so happy, so welcome, so loved—so everything she hadn’t felt while she’d been gone. She didn’t want to think about the whole Max and Fiona thing, just focused on her friends and how good it was to see them again. She couldn’t have had a nicer welcome back.

Everyone fought who would sit next to her on the couch but it ended up being Isabel and Kyle. They had their arms around her.

“Where’s Maria?” Liz asked finally. She was trying very hard to avoid Max’s eyes as he stared at her from the seat opposite her.

“She moved to East Village to join a hippie community,” Alex said with a grin. “She still comes around…”

“A hippie community?” Liz laughed. “I knew it! God, she’s just like her mom.”

“Speaking of moms. Liz…” Michael said. “How’s yours?”

She stopped smiling and moved her hands around nervously in her lap. “She’s…well...” what could she say without crying? “Not so good. Not so good at all…”

“Aww honey…” Isabel said, nuzzling her hair. “We’ll take care of you. Don’t worry.”

“We need beer,” Kyle said, shooting up from his seat. “That’s what we need. Beer is definitely what we need.”

Liz disregarded her new healthy morals for one night and focused on celebrating her return with her friends. She needed it so much after everything she’d just been though emotionally.

It was pretty early when everyone finally went back to bed. Max remained on the couch, waiting patiently while everyone left. Liz had no desire to have it out with him then and so she got up with Isabel and followed her to her room.

Before Isabel shut the door she heard him sigh dramatically.

“God, you’re pretty shitty at him aren’t you?” Isabel laughed. “You haven’t said a word to one another all morning!”

Liz didn’t want to speak about it with Isabel either. She stripped down and got into bed. Isabel did the same and turned off the lights.

“I normally don’t stay here,” she said. “I’m glad I’m here tonight though. It’s so great you’re back. You plan to stay right?”

“I suppose,” Liz replied, staring at the dark ceiling.

“Of course you should,” Isabel said and curled into her. “Goodnight. I love you.”

“Me too. Goodnight.”

So much for a morning full of fervently fucking until raw and spent, she thought depressingly.

~*~

Oh no..I feel impending drama!

Of course Mariael! A story isn't a story without drama! That comment really cracked me up. Hope you liked this guys! I got it out nice and quickly for you,

~nicola

SIXTEEN

Liz went to the rehearsal in the morning feeling exhausted and worn down. One night and it had already had a disastrous effect on her. How much more could she take of this? Mistreating her body and her emotions all over the place…

Reluctantly she admitted to herself that she couldn’t do it anymore. She started to think about where she could go now. She felt humiliated for letting her guard down and though the rest of the band was glad she was back—she didn’t think it was enough to help her with everything else that was wrong in her life.

Tiredly she’d wondered if Fiona had spent the remainder of the morning with Max. The thought made tears come to her eyes.

She never should have come back. It had been false hope that dragged her in the first place but she saw that this wasn’t for her anymore. She decided to stay a couple of days at the most and then she’d leave. To where, she had no idea.

There were new songs played during the rehearsal. Liz listened carefully to the lyrics, knowing this was Max’s way of telling her about the last month. Despite everything she still loved the music Devils Gold made.

Max stared obviously at her as he sung. Some things she didn’t want to hear…

“ Messin’, Messin’ Around

Girl slide up to you
Lightening bolts in her eyes
You know her actions
Speak louder than words
You know that it's hard to fight

And other things she desperately wanted to hear, but couldn’t listen.

“Oh her love is like a ferverish disease
Oh she got me down upon my knees
Oh she got me begging please
On my knees, oh yeah

Tiny cut strawberry blood
Broken heart, my face in the mud
She hit me hard, hard as can be
Oh but I want her, I want that disease


She snickered at him. “What a joke.”

“What?” Isabel asked, leaning into her.

“Nothing,” Liz sighed.

After the rehearsal had finished the band hung around packing up and there was talk about going out for lunch.

“We can introduce you to Brooklyn in you want Liz,” Kyle said. “Isabel and I.”

“That would be cool,” she said, feeling a twang of pain. She’d imagined Max doing that with her.

Speaking of Max, when everyone headed off he took her arm and held her back. “We’ll catch up,” he told Kyle.

“What do you want?” she asked with annoyance, her heart speeding up.

“I want you to talk to me,” he said, clutching her and no letting go.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“I don’t want you to be upset.”

“If you didn’t want me to be upset,” Liz said slowly, “Maybe you shouldn’t have had sex with my friend.” She shuddered. “How many days after I left did you even wait Max?”

“I didn’t go back to old habits, if that’s what you’re thinking...”

“You’re a liar,” Liz pulled her arm away from him. “Just tell the truth. You’ve already done the damage; it’s not going to make much difference.”

Then she thought: why would I want to know that?

“Actually, no don’t tell me.”

Max studied her face. Liz reluctantly saw that he was trying so hard to do the right thing and get her to forgive him.

“You can have your hat back,” she said coldly. “Why did you even give it to me?”

“You know why I gave it to you,” he said desperately. “You and I are different from everyone else here Liz. We’re the same you and I. We have a connection…”

“I am not the same as you,” she replied angrily. “I would never have done what you have. And to think it was YOU who suggested the whole monogamous thing! I didn’t even want to do it.”

Here they were: standing in the doorway of the assembly hall, angrily hurling words back and forth. He suggested they go and sit down. She told him there was no point because she was done.

He dragged her back inside, not giving her a choice.

“Let me ask you,” she snarled, standing while he sat in front of her. She lit a cigarette and took a deep drag, “what did you get out of this? I don’t understand it at all. You are the one who asked me to come back and so I did. But for what? If I hadn’t caught you red handed, if I hadn’t seen—would you have told me you’ve been fucking around?”

“Yes,” he said, his voice taking on an angrier tone, “And I haven’t been fucking around.”

“Really?” Liz asked disbelievingly.

“You didn’t even ask me to wait for you!” he suddenly yelled. “You didn’t say: Max don’t—”

She cut him off just as angrily and a notch louder, “But you asked me! What you don’t think it works both ways?”

He didn’t say anything.

“Well you can do whatever you want now, not that you weren’t already, because I’m leaving,” she said. She gestured wildly with her hands, trying hard to control her temper, “Be my guest. Have fun. Goodbye.” She turned around and went to walk away but he grabbed her again.

“Stop touching me!” she said, almost loosing it completely. “Let go of me! Don’t come near me.”

He held both of her wrists so she was forced to stand in between his legs as he sat.

“Why Fiona of all people?” she asked desperately and was so upset she didn’t know what to do with herself. She was trembling. “Why’d you have to do it with her?” Why did you have to do it at all?

“God,” he moaned, looking up at her. “I’ll never do it again. Please forgive me. I’ve been waiting for you, I’ve missed you so mu—”

She struggled with him, trying so hard to break out of his hold but failing. He was too strong. “If you’d missed me you wouldn’t have fucked Fiona.” She started to cry. “You would have been here for me when I need you, after I just lost my mom and have no one else to go to…”

His face softened. “Oh Liz…”

Fiona suddenly appeared beside them. She opened her mouth to speak but Max stood up and said incredulously, “What are you doing here?”

“I thought I might be able to help…”

“Well you can’t,” he said angrily. “So fuck off.”

“Max,” she said, horrified.

“I mean it,” he replied. “Go away right now.”

Liz got her arm out of his grip and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Don’t bother,” she told Fiona. “You stay. You’re obviously worth it. I’ll go.”

“No you won’t,” Max said, grabbing her again. “Fuck off Fiona.”

Fiona left, shooting him a look of complete and utter hatred. Liz gave her the same look right back. To have been teased by her about going steady with Max and to have trusted her and told her how she felt about him! How could Fiona have betrayed her so badly?

Max pulled her into a hug, soothingly rubbing her back up and down. “I’m so sorry about your mom,” he said. “I know how hard it is, I know what you must be going through.”

“No you don’t,” she sniffled, wanting to forgive him but unable. She pushed him away and backed far away. “I’m done talking about this now. Where would everyone have gone for lunch?”

“Liz…”

“I’m done!” she yelled. “Either you tell me where they’ve gone or I’ll find it on my own.”

Max sighed and then came outside and called her a cab. He was sombre and short with her.

“Are you coming?” she asked.

“No.”

“Okay,” she rubbed her nose and then tightened her coat flaps around her body. “Well, thanks.”

Max shrugged and closed the door. He stood with his hands in his pockets as the cab pulled away. Liz felt like he wasn’t going to let that be the end of their conversation.

The diner they’d gone to for lunch was cheap and the waitresses wore yellow uniforms. Liz sat down in one of the brown booths with a sigh. Isabel paused chewing her burger and looked at her.

“How’d that go?” she asked with a grin.

“Fucking awful. What do you think?” Liz stole one of her fries and then a sip of her milkshake. “I don’t need this shit right now. God.”

“Well…” Isabel said thoughtfully, “if it makes you feel any better I know that Fiona is the only one he’s been with since you left.”

Liz looked at her. “How do you know?”

“Because he didn’t have anyone for three weeks. It was only this week—since we first arrived back here—that she started sleeping in his room…and,” Isabel added, “I happen to know for a fact that Fiona is the one who initiated it. She was following him around since the moment you left…”

“Fucking cow,” Liz said. “What did I ever do to her?”

“I don’t think you needed to’ive done anything,” Isabel took a sip of her drink and gulped loudly. “She’s nasty on her own—she doesn’t need to be provoked. God knows she’s only doing him to stick around. I don’t think the rest of the band even like her.”

Liz was deep in thought all afternoon as Kyle and Isabel showed her around. She was too preoccupied with assessing this new information to enjoy the sights. Her resolve was waning. She was so weak right now, all she wanted was comfort. It would be so easy to just reach out and get it.

She just wanted to forgive him so much.

When they got back to the headquarters he wasn’t there. Liz kept unconsciously glancing at the door, right into the evening. The guys were having a session but she decided not to join them so she was feeling left out. With this new lifestyle choice she’d never manage here again. He was the only reason she had to stay. She loved the band horribly but she just couldn’t…

He got back at nine and Liz noticed he was slightly drunk. He came and sat down near her on the couch.

“How was your afternoon?” he asked coolly. Or what would have been coolly if he wasn’t tipsy.

“Fine,” she said simply.

He leaned into her face and she could smell his breath—beer and cigarettes. “I just want you to know,” he said, “I’m going to fight for you.”

Liz didn’t move away and kept her eyes on his. “Why?”

“Because you’re worth it,” he said.

“But—”

“Max! When did you get back?” Kyle asked and came and sat down in-between them. “You aren’t bothering Liz are you? I’ll fucking kick your…”

“Kyle,” Liz said. “Go away.”

He hiccupped and unsteadily got to his feet. “Alright darlin’.”

Liz wanted to hear what Max had to say. She lit a cigarette and parted her lips to take a drag. “How drunk are you?” she asked him.

“Not drunk,” he answered, never taking his eyes off her. “Will you come to my room?”

She laughed disdainfully. “Yeah right.”

“To talk,” he added. “That’s all.”

“How could I trust you now?” she asked. “How could I?”

He swallowed. “I don’t know…”

“I don’t know either.”

She went with him. There was nothing to do out in the lounge area anyway. Nothing was much fun when you were the only one completely clean and sober.

His room was different with the lights on. She could see it was divided in half, the far end was the bedroom and the other half had a couple of sofa chairs, a desk, some draws…

There were large windows on one side that took up a whole wall.

Max closed the door behind her and then went and took a seat on one of the chairs. Liz joined him. “What about if I ask her to leave, for good? What if we get rid of her?” he said. “No one would care if we…”

“And then what?” Liz sighed. “You’re just going to go do it with someone else…”

“No,” he said. “No, I won’t. Let’s just give it a go. Everything will be different here in Brooklyn…”

“Everything already is different,” she said.

“Please,” he pleaded, looking at her with strong feeling. “I promise I won’t call you Brownie anymore…”

Despite her mood, she managed a small smile. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I can’t handle this lifestyle anymore; I need to sort my life out. I need to live better. The rock star existence is too much, it’s too full on.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” he asked. “I know that better than you. Wasn’t I the one who told you that in the first place? I told you I’m tired of it, that I’m too old.”

“You can’t back out,” she said. “They need you. They don’t need me.”

Very quietly he said, “Well I do.”

“No you don’t,” she got up and paced around. “You just want me. But for how long? It’s just not going to work. I’m leaving; I’ve made my mind up.”

“Where are you going to go?” he asked. “Maybe I’ll come with you.”

She was so shocked that she didn’t know what to say for a moment. Then, “You can’t just abandon the band. You can’t do that—what about Devils Gold? Anyway, I won’t have you.”

“Stay here with me,” he tried again. “I can’t speak for the rest of the band but I’ll take it easier. I won’t drink as much, I won’t get high, I won’t—”

Liz groaned loudly.

“I know my mistake,” he said. She didn’t say anything and then he swore. “Fuck Liz, at least give me a chance to make things right.”

She looked at him. He seemed sincere. “I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t know what to do.”

~*~


Hi everyone. I can tell you're all pretty mad at Max! lol! I'm surprised you didn't add me to the list of people to be angry at. I half expected it. I don't know how well I wrote this, it was done pretty quickly because you guys were so adamant about getting it out as soon as possible. Hope it's okay,
~nicola

SEVENTEEN

Loud music suddenly blasted down the hall and there was a crash and laughter. Liz looked at the door and then at her feet and then at Max. Max hadn’t taken his eyes off her.

“Let’s leave,” he said.

“What?” she asked. She couldn’t hear him over the noise.

“I said let’s go out!” he stood up. “I can’t think here. I know you don’t want to be here either. Let’s go somewhere else.”

Liz thought about it for a moment and then nodded her head slightly. He put on his jacket and then as they were walking to the door he turned and smiled at her, “How much of Brooklyn did you see today?”

“A little,” she said, trying so hard not to smile back but couldn’t help it. “Not much.”

“Good. Where’s your coat? You’ll need it.”

“In the lounge.”

Kyle was dancing around on top of the couch and there were some new people just walking in the door. Max waited while she put on her coat and then took her arm to lead her out.

“Where are you going?” Tess yelled after them.

Max didn’t bother answering so Liz didn’t either. They descended the stairs in silence and then left the building.

Out on the sidewalk when they walked briskly away. It was freezing so she quickly dipped her hands into her pockets and clenched them into fists.

“Too many distractions in there,” Max commented, breaking the silence. “Too many people with bad intentions.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked. But then she realized she knew. “Yes, you have quite the fuck load women after you, don’t you?”

He glanced back at her. “No,” he said simply.

She laughed. “Oh yes you do.”

It was dark out but the street lights lit up his face. She could see he found displeasure in what she was saying but she wouldn’t drop it. The car lights flashed in their eyes as they drove past.

“Tell me,” she said, slowing her walk. Max slowed his too now that the warehouse was a way back. “Do you think Tess knew Fiona was in your room when she told me to go in there?”

He sighed. “You can’t blame me for that. I knew her before I knew you.”

“I’m just making a point,” she said.

She saw her breath in the air, white like a small cloud.

He didn’t look at her when he spoke again, “You forget you have quite the history too.”

“I haven’t forgotten. Of course I have a history. But when you asked me to stop, I did.”

He rubbed his eyes tiredly. “Brownie…I don’t think I can say anymore. I’ve said all I can to fix this—I’ve run out of ideas. You know how I feel. You know I want you here. You know I wish I could change it. Please tell me if there is something else I can do because I just don’t see it—”

“You can stop talking about it,” she said. He wished he could change it? Why the hell did he do it in the first place?! “And we can have a good evening. If you don’t say anything else, I won’t have to kill you. Is that alright with you? Nothing you could say is going to change that you did it, alright?”

He stopped walking and looked at her. His hair was down and he had a black woollen beanie on his head. His chin was stubbly. God, Liz thought. Just look at that face. No wonder so many females were out to get him. His eyes were hazel and so warm.

She wondered what he saw when he stared at her.

“You’re really pretty, did you know that?” he said shocking her. Unbelievably, he must have been having the same thoughts as her.

“I don’t believe you,” she said back. Challenging him to push her.

“That’s okay.” Taking his hand out of his pocket, he ran it down her hair. “You need a hat,” he said. “Your head must be cold. Your nose is red.”

“Oh,” she said, “Is that why you gave me your hat?”

He laughed. “No. That’s not the reason.”

They walked for a while in silence and then Liz realized where they were heading. “Is that the wharf?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he nodded.

She could tell because of the large black expanse spreading out ahead of them. In the city there wasn’t anything like that, there were lights and buildings everywhere. To have such nothingness, it would have to be water. She stopped and stared.

“It must be sad for you,” she said. “To be here, I mean.”

He shrugged. “Sometimes it is.”

“When my mom died,” she said, “I felt numb. I didn’t know what to do. I can’t imagine what it’s like to loose a daughter.”

Max didn’t say anything.

They walked slowly along the wharf and Liz commented every now on then on a building or shop that interested her. Her heals make a click, click noise on the pavement as they went.

Max told her a bit about what it was like to grow up in the city. “You know,” he said. “I wanted to be a musician since I was a little kid. I taught myself most instruments but I got some lessons.”

“Oh yeah?” Liz grinned. “Who did you have hanging on your bedroom walls?”

“Who didn’t I have? Elvis, Jimi Hendrix, James Brown, Frankie Avalon…” he laughed.

They walked close together so their arms banged every once in a while. She found herself wanting to take his hand but in the end didn’t. She just couldn’t get past her hurting heart.

“But—” Liz frowned, continuing the conversation. “I don’t understand. Why do you hate it all so much now?”

“No, no, no…” he lifted his hands and shook his head. “I don’t hate anything. I just don’t really feel like a part of Devils Gold. I don’t want to be angry anymore.”

Liz didn’t know what to say in response to that. She remembered when she first met him and the way he’d acted. She remembered hating his coldness and standing up to him. Of course…it all made much more sense why he did it now. Everyone had a different way of grieving.

She realized she didn’t know what hers was. Was it being shocked into turning her life around?

“I’d give anything to have a passion,” she said absentmindedly. “To have drive.”

Max looked at her and his arm banged against hers. “One day you’ll figure out what you want.”

She shrugged. “Hmm…maybe.” She didn’t want to talk about her. “So, why don’t you feel a part of Devils Gold?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I still fucking love the music to hell and all that, I just…I don’t know. Hell…I suppose I want to stay in one place for a while. Maybe work on a solo career? I’ll always want to be apart of music—but the kind of music before it goes big.”

When he spoke he was very passionate and animated. Just like when he sung—he put his whole self into it. She remembered one night when they’d been on the road she’d just studied him throughout a whole concert. He sung as if he was alone in his room where no one could see him. But somehow…at the same time he managed to be involved with the audience. His eyes were closed and he didn’t see that he had the whole attention of the crowd. They were captivated by him.

She wanted to tell him that he was too good. He couldn’t stay small, no matter how much he wanted. He was supposed to be up there with the music stars. That’s what came with his kind of talent.

The revelation made her want to hold onto him and feed his feeling for her so that she’d see it all. A part of her wanted to be there for his rise to the top—because she had no doubt that he would get there.

The top.

“Stay in Brooklyn?” she asked. Maybe his judgement was clouded by his daughter’s death but one day he’d realize he wanted to touch the sky.

“I don’t know,” he answered. “Anywhere really. I just want something that’s mine that I made up on my own. Do you get what I mean?”

“Not at all,” she chuckled. “Why wouldn’t you want to get big?”

“It takes the fun out of it for me.”

They came to a corner diner that was open and Max asked if she wanted to go in and have a drink. It was lit up with florescent white lights and seemed sparkly clean and warm compared to outside in the cold street. There was only a man and a waitress working behind the counter.

“You must be freezing in that skirt,” Max commented. She wondered why he was always so worried about her being cold. Maybe it was his parental instinct coming out? Maybe now that he’d had a daughter he felt the need to father everyone. Take care of them.

Make sure they don’t get hit by cars. Or freeze to death.

She wasn’t wearing her mini skirt today; she had on a long white peasant skirt and boots. “I’m alright,” she answered and subconsciously glanced down at herself. “But I’ll have a drink.”

Inside at the counter it was the women who took their orders. She had a pink and white striped uniform on that matched the drinking straws. Her hair was blonde and long and Liz thought she looked a bit like a Barbie doll.

When Max opened his wallet to pay she noticed he had a picture of her. She took it out of his hands and inspected the photo—it was of her on a bed with his guitar and his hat. She was naked. “How long have you had this?” she asked. The subconscious part of her wanted to rip it up and beg to know how many people had seen her so revealed.

“Since I took it,” he answered. “Do you remember?”

Liz nodded. “I remember. I can’t believe you have it in your wallet.”

What did that mean, she wondered? Who did he keep a picture of before her?

“Why wouldn’t I?” he said. “It’s a good photo. Here’s your drink.”

They sat on the stools around the counter, facing the kitchen. There were a few people around, not that many. It was a small place, at the end of a street Liz didn’t know. She hadn’t decided yet if Brooklyn was all it was cracked up to be.

“I have a photo of Kimber too,” he said and then pulled it out of a hidden flap. “Do you want to see?”

She was so surprised when she saw it. As if Kimber hadn’t really existed until she set her eyes on her. “She’s blonde!” she exclaimed. “That can’t be from your side.” She had long arms and legs, like him, and round cheeks and eyes—possibly like her mother. “She has your mouth.”

“Does she?” he asked, sipping his coffee. He closed into himself when anything to do with his daughter was being discussed.

“Yeah,” she nodded and then handed the photo back to him. When her fingers touched his she held them there for a moment before letting go. She knew he needed support. “I think she’s really beautiful Max.”

He caught her eyes for a moment. There was pain there. “I think so too.” It didn’t take long for him to change the subject, “How’s your drink?”

Liz had ordered a chocolate thick shake in a tall glass. She took a sip from the straw and then licked her lips. “It’s good, thanks.”

They continued to walk around after they left the diner. It wasn’t to anywhere significant and they only spoke about light hearted things so as to forget everything else on their minds.

It was around midnight that they ambled back towards the warehouse. Liz was frantically trying to decide what to do. The feelings were obviously still there…but whether to give into them…?

He stopped outside the building and turned to her. She’d known he’d do that. She knew he’d want some sort of idea as to what was going through her mind.

The problem was she didn’t know any more than him.

She waited, unsure what to do as he put his hand on the side of her face and leaned into her. “Liz…” he said. There was that face again. That beanie, that hair, those eyes…that everything. What to do? What to do?

She took a deep breath. “Max, I don’t think it’s a good idea…”

“Just a kiss,” he pleaded. “That’s all.”

“Max…”

“Come on,” he said, his face close to hers. She looked straight back into his eyes. “I’ve been dying to kiss you all day.”

Like she could have stopped him. It’s all she wanted and she knew it.

She let him kiss her…and she enjoyed it. It was a wonderful feeling, his lips softly parting hers. He was tender and loving and she arched her head up to his, lengthening the moment.

He sighed when he pulled back. However, his hands remained on her, one on the back of her head, the other around her waist. “Ah Liz…”

“What?” she smiled and felt a little light-headed.

“Hmmm…” he ran his eyes down her neck and over her breasts. “I know you don’t forgive me…” he spoke quietly and hoarsely, “but, where are you going to sleep tonight?”

She laughed, shoving him away slightly. “Not with you.”

“No…I know you won’t…” his mouth pursed unhappily, “fuck me, but you can still sleep with me.”

“You expect me to trust you?” If he kept speaking to and looking at her like that…she took another step back but he held her around her waist.

“I’ll be a perfect fucking gentleman.” God he wouldn’t stop staring at her! She couldn’t get away from his probing eyes. He was so intense. “We don’t have to do anything. Come on, where else are you going to go?”

“Isabel,” she said simply (knowing she wouldn’t go there).

“Oh that’s right Isabel,” Max let go of her, “Your other lover.”

She rolled her eyes. “Let’s go up. I’ll think about what I’m going to do.”

~*~

Hi hi.

Smac I think you could have written this for me! I loved reading what you had to say. I loved reading what all of you had to say. Thanks so much for taking the time to let me know what you think. Hope this was okay,

~nicola

EIGHTEEN

Inside the warehouse, Liz sat down on the couch between two guys she didn’t know while Max went straight down to his room. She was offered a joint and didn’t want to decline so she just stashed it in her pocket and had a cigarette.

She started thinking about Maria and decided that tomorrow she’d find a way to visit her.

At some point Alex found his way to her side and gave her a sip of his drink. They chatted for a while and then there was a commotion down the hall and everyone turned to have a look. A fight broke out between two people but Michael quickly went and put an end to it.

Liz got bored and couldn’t help yawning so eventually got to her feet. Isabel wasn’t around so she knew her only choice was to go to Max. Not that she wouldn’t have anyway—of course she would.

At first she didn’t see where he was but then found him in his en-suite—shirtless and brushing his teeth. He grinned when he saw her.

“I just want your bed,” she said, crossing her arms across her chest, “Not you.”

“Harsh,” he replied. “But okay.”

She couldn’t take her eyes off him as he stood half-bare. His toned body was very arousing to look at—especially when all she could think about was the times they’d been together.

Forcing herself to look away, she took off her pants and hoped under the covers. The whole bed smelt masculine like him and she couldn’t help but sigh and mutter a breathless, “Damn.”

When he came out and gripped the waist band of his pants to pull them down she sat up and said, “Leave them on or I’m leaving.”

He chuckled. “It’s not like you haven’t seen it before. Or don’t you think you can control yourself? Will it be too tempting?”

“Yeah, too tempting for you.”

He turned the lights off and then she scooted over and he got in beside her. Not holding back, he bundled her up against his chest and wrapped his arms around her so his hands were on his stomach.

“You’re cold,” she whispered in agony. His breath was on her neck.

“And you’re warm,” he replied. “so warm.”

“Stop it,” she pleaded, feeling his hands drawing patterns on her stomach.

“Stop what?” he asked innocently.

“Trying to break me. I thought you said you’d be a perfect gentleman? Is this how you want to show you care for me? Sex is not going to make you look good right now.”

“No but it’d feel fucking good,” he chuckled. “Nah, I’m sorry, I’ll stop. I do care for you. But can I’ve a goodnight kiss?”

Liz sighed. “You already had one.”

“One more. Liz I’m dying to be close to you.”

She turned her head and kissed him softly on the mouth. “There…”

“God,” he moaned. “You’re killing me...”

Not long passed before his bedroom door opened and light spilled across the floor. Liz slowly opened her eyes to see who it was and Max lifted her carefully off him and sat up. “Watch this,” he said and then got up and walked towards the intruder.

“Fiona,” he said. “What the fuck?”

Liz sat up and stared at her curiously. Fiona stared back.

“Oh so now that she’s back you’ve tossed me to the side?” she said. “What a fucking asshole Max.”

“Don’t give me that,” he retorted, “You only fucked me so you could stay with the band because nobody else wants you here. You just want a piece of the action and in doing it you pretended to be Liz’s friend. You’re fucking pathetic.”

Fiona was seething. “How dare you! You were fucking gagging for it. Don’t try and act like some saint in front of Liz. You had no problem having it off when she wasn’t here to see.”

Liz swallowed. She had a point there.

“Yeah but only after you wouldn’t back off. I shouldn’t have done it, I know that—but you can be rest assured it won’t happen again.” He took her arm and dragged out of the doorway and down the hall.

Liz quickly jumped up to see what was going to happen.

He motioned for Michael to turn the music down. “Everyone,” he announced loudly. “Say goodbye to Fiona for good.”

Everyone looked at them silently.

“Don’t come back,” Max said opening the door for her. She didn’t move.

“You’re a fucking asshole. The others want me here, no cares what you think.”

“Kyle, Michael, Alex…do you want Fiona here?” Max asked loudly.

Michael cleared his throat. “Not if you don’t buddy.”

“Hmm, yeah doesn’t bother me none,” Alex said. Kyle just shrugged and turned the music back on.

“There’s the door Fiona,” Max gave her a gentle shove towards it. “Bye now.”

She tried to punch him but he caught her hand before it collided with his face. Then, angry and loosing it, she looked at Liz in the hallway and yelled, “You’re stupid if you listen to a word he says! You should have heard him when we were alone. He’s a fucking liar.”

“Get out!” Max roared and shoved her a little harder.

She waved goodbye with her middle finger and then Max slammed the door behind her. No one was watching anymore and so he came back down toward his room where Liz was waiting with her arms crossed over her chest.

“Max…” she started to say. “Maybe you shouldn’t have been so har—”

“Don’t stand up for her,” he said and led her back into the room. Liz couldn’t help but feel apprehension from Fiona’s words.

He got back into bed and when she didn’t join him he asked what was wrong. She bit her lip. “I want you to tell me right now…how many times did you fuck her and when?”

He propped himself up on his elbows. “Twice. The first time I was in bed already and she came in on her own and I was half asleep. I know that’s no excuse, I still fucking did it but I wasn’t even thinking.”

“The second time you were obviously,” she said.

“It’s not like I invited her in. She came in on her own when I went to bed and threw herself at me. Liz…come one, I was lonely and…”

She breathed out loudly. “Did you speak at all?”

“No,” he said disgustedly. “Not at all.”

“What are you lying about?” she asked. “What was Fiona saying then?”

“Oh come on!” he cried. “Liz you’re not going to listen to her are you? She’s the one who initiated it, I promise. Please, please just come to bed.”

She told him she didn’t know what to think anymore. She told him she was very confused and didn’t know whether or not to trust him.

“God all this for a stupid mistake, Liz…” he sat up completely. “I’m sorry. I got rid of her because I thought it would make you and I feel better. All I want is for you to trust me.”

She got into bed but it wasn’t the same as before. She was stiff when he touched her and thoughts kept going through her mind…

“Max,” she said quietly, “Why are you going to so much effort to convince me?”

“Because…” he struggled with himself and the right thing to say. Liz wondered if he loved her but couldn’t get it out. “Because we fit. Because before I had you I was lonely and when I’m with you I’m not angry anymore. You make me happy.”

Liz relaxed next to him. She wanted to believe him so badly that in the end she just gave up and did. She curled into his side. “Sometimes you make me happy too,” she said.

“Sometimes?” he chuckled. “Yeah alright, I ‘spose I can settle for that right now.”

~*~

In the morning Liz was awake first and got up to go to the bathroom. She was just brushing her teeth when Max said, with a note of panic in his voice, “Liz?”

She came out into the room and with a mouthful of foam said, “Wha?”

He relaxed. “Nothing, I thought you’d gone.”

She went back into the bathroom and cleaned out her mouth and then came back. Max watched her and said, “God look at you…”

“Look at what?” she said, glancing down unconsciously. She was wearing a baggy long-sleeved top, white briefs and knee-high pattered socks. Her hair was everywhere. What was to look at?

He lifted the cover for her to get back in and she rested her head on his shoulder. “I want to go and see Maria today,” she told him.

“What is today?” he asked, staring at her.

“Sunday.”

“I’m supposed to do something…” he thought about it for a moment and then came to gradual understanding. “Shit. Golf.”

“What?” she laughed, thinking she’d heard wrong.

He rolled his eyes. “I have golf with my dad. Can you believe it? God.”

“Golf?” she asked again, fighting the urge to laugh her head off. “Where do you have golf?”

He hesitated. “At the country club…”

“What?” she couldn’t stop herself then, she cracked up. “You’re a member of a country club?”

“Well, technically my parents are…that doesn’t mean I am.”

She rolled onto her stomach and propped her head up on her hands. “I can’t believe this. You’re one of those poncey country club families? This is fucking hysterical!” She couldn’t stop laughing.

“Do you want to come?” he asked, smiling at her.

“And play golf?” she laughed harder.

“We have brunch first,” he clarified, “with my mom and then we go and play golf. You should come.”

“I can’t go to a country club,” she said, “I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. I don’t even have any fucking clothes to wear…”

“So?” he grinned, “It’ll make the whole thing very interesting.”

“And embarrassing!” she cried. “They’d all be horrified by me.”

“Even more horrified if we get high and then go.”

Liz looked at him to see if he was for real. “I have a joint in my jacket pocket.”

“Let’s have it then,” he said. “Then we’ll go.”

“Max,” she said mock seriously, “Do you do this a lot?”

“What? Get high and then go play golf? Yes,” he laughed. “But I don’t usually bring a crazy girl with me.”

She got a lighter out of his draw and they lit the joint, smoking it in bed. Liz sat up but Max remained on his back, taking a deep drag with his eyes closed.

“Who’d you get this from?” he asked, opening one eye. “It’s not very good.”

“Someone last night, I don’t know,” she took a drag and held the smoke in her mouth and then leaned down and blew out into his mouth. He held it for a moment and then released.

“Do you have any?” she asked.

“Yeah, somewhere…maybe Michael has it,” he shrugged. “Maybe he smoked it last night. I’ll go see.”

Liz sat and took several deep drags while he was gone. Finally he came back with a bong and they shared another substantial amount of hash before tossing it aside.

“Still care what you’re going to wear?” Max asked. He grinned at her and then breathed out smoke from the corner of his mouth.

She grinned back. “Give me another couple of minutes and I’ll wear a clown suit.”

Max put on his jeans and boots but instead of his normal t-shirt and jacket he put on a white button down shirt. Liz found a brown and blue knitted vest in amongst his things and burst out laughing, telling him he had to wear it.

He shrugged and put it on and then posed for her. “My mom’ll be happy,” he said while putting on his black beanie, “She made this.”

Liz had clothes in her car. They went out through the lounge but Kyle spotted them from the kitchen before they could leave and burst out laughing. He had a cigarette in one hand and a coffee mug in the other. “What the fuck man?” he strutted up to them, wearing an open robe and a pair of grey sweat pants. “Are you going to church or somethin’?”

“Aw you don’t like it?” Max asked disappointedly. “Drat.”

“Oh hell no, I love it,” Kyle said—actually sounding serious—“What a hold out. I’m gonna be borrowing that one man.”

“Bye Kyle,” Liz said and dragged Max out by his hand.

“Now you two have a good day,” he said gaily. “Go eat some jam tarts and shit.”

Max drove Liz’s car while she rifled around the back looking for something to wear. When they stopped at traffic lights he turned to look at what she was doing. She’d found a brightly coloured flowered button down shirt and settled on the gypsy skirt she was already wearing. Instead of boots she put on sandals and quickly attempted combing her hair with her fingers.

“This is fucking insane,” she laughed while trying to climb over the seat. She found a long beaded necklace on the floor and shoved it on. “What do you do when it rains?”

“We just have brunch,” he replied.

“What if it’s too cold?” she asked.

He gave her a funny look. “We’re men.”

The country club security guard almost didn’t want to let them in half an hour later. Max’s name was on the list but he double checked and asked for I.D.

“He thinks we’re impostors,” Liz told Max and didn’t even bother to whisper. “What gave us away? Do you think our clothes smell like hash?”

Max attempted shushing her while laughing at the same time. “You’ll get us in trouble.”

She straightened up and saluted the guard. “Sorry Sir. We’ll be on our best behaviours.”

Unimpressed the guard said, “Drive through Mr. Evans.”

Max parked the car and then turned to her and asked, “Are you ready for this?”

“Perhaps you should be asking them that,” Liz giggled. “I’m not wearing any underwear.”

“You’re fucked,” he said, delight blazing in his eyes. “Can I see?”

“No, no, no, have to act proper.”

They got out of the car and linked arms as they marched towards the entrance. Liz couldn’t stop giggling.

“I really should have put on make up.”

“Me too,” Max said.

They got many looks as they walked through the lavish lobby. There were impressive paintings of old distinguished members on the wall, velvet couches and intricate flower bouquets in expensive vases. Max and Liz in their modern, youthful attire and mischievous expressions stood out like an elephant in a sheep paddock.

Max knew where he was going but a woman still came up and asked who he was here to see. “Don’t worry,” Liz told her, “We’re supposed to be here. We didn’t climb the fence.”

Max shushed her again. “We’re here to meet my parents in the restaurant. Thank you.”

“Do you think we’ll have wine with brunch?” Liz asked loudly in a fake poncey accent.

The woman walked away, also looking unimpressed, and Max burst out laughing. “We are completely fucked. I bet twenty minutes tops before we’re kicked out.”

Liz grinned. “I bet five.”

Max looked around, still holding onto her arm and then said, “There they are. Let’s play a game,” he said, “Let’s see how long we can go before my parents realize how fucking high we are alright?”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Max breathed in. “Give me a kiss.”

She got onto her tiptoes and pecked his mouth quickly and then they walked towards his parents. Max quickly remembered to take off his beanie and tucked it in his pocket.

“Mom, dad.”

“Oh Max!” His mom turned around and gave his cheek a kiss. “Hello dear. You’re wearing the vest I made you, how nice.”

“That was my idea,” Liz said proudly.

Mrs. Diane Evans was dressed in a purple blazer and skirt with pearls and modest high heals. Her blonde hair was up in an impressive knot at the back of her head. Liz thought she was quite striking with her blue eyes and full, red lips.

Mr. Philip Evans wasn’t what she’d call an attractive man but he presented himself in a very professional way. His hair was thick and grey and his skin was tanned but wrinkled. He had a blue suit on with a striped metallic tie.

“Ah,” Max said, biting his lip to keep laughing, “Mom, dad…this is Liz…” he stopped for a second, “Liz Pa..Pa…babe what’s your last name again?”

“Parker,” Liz replied, laughing.

His parents raised their eye brows. “Oh relax,” Max chuckled, “I was kidding. I know her last name. What’s for brunch?”

His mom laughed nervously.

“You should have shaved son,” his dad said. “Nice to meet you Miss Parker.”

“Right back at’cha Mr. Evans,” Liz smiled.


~*~

You're all probably thinking tat I'm high myself for writing that. But I'm not. Don't worry. I needed to write something fun haha. And I have a lot of free time on my hands for the next two weeks so you'll be getting updates quite regularly. Notice this part was a bit longer?

take care and thank you so much for your feedback,
~nicola

NINETEEN

Max’s parents weren’t stupid. They knew straight away that their son was on some sort of illegal substance. And they hoped Liz was too, otherwise she was just weird.

“So Liz,” Philip said, almost afraid to address her. “What do you do for a living?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” she grinned while fingering the fork on the table. “But I will think of something great.”

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Nancy said, “How old are you my dear?”

“I’ll be twenty in January,” she replied.

Nancy forced a smile to cover her displeasure in Max’s choice of date. “Oh well you have plenty of time to think of something.”

Liz smiled back and then looked at Max who was covering his mouth with his hand. She could tell he was trying to hold something in. Probably laughter.

“Max—elbows,” Diane said curtly.

Liz watched him shift his elbows off the table and promptly did the same thing. She was trying so hard not to fiddle but just couldn’t sit still. She felt like she’d swallowed a ball of energy. She tapped her foot softly against the expensive carpet.

“So Max how’s the band?” Philip asked.

“The band’s good thanks,” he answered.

“A little birdy told me that you’re to start recording an album tomorrow,” Diane said. “That’s very good news isn’t it?”

“Your little birdy is right,” Max gulped down the water in his glass. “We are.”

Liz put her elbows on the table again. She didn’t give a flying fart about being proper. It was more comfortable that way.

“So how good are you two at golf?” she asked, feeling very happy. “I think it’s safe to say that I don’t know a fucking thing.”

If his parents were shocked to hear her curse they didn’t show it. “Well Philip’s quite good,” Diane said. “I don’t know about Max.”

“He could be,” Philip said after taking a sip from his water glass, “if he took it seriously.”

“Meh,” Max shrugged, “Golf’s just not my thing dad.”

“What is your thing Max? Marijuana?”

Liz tried to keep a straight face but when Max snorted she couldn’t help but laugh. They both cracked up. “I’m not on Marijuana,” Max said. “Are you on Marijuana Liz?”

“I think so,” she laughed back. “How do I know?”

Diane sighed. “What is so funny? You could have lay off whatever you’re on for one morning. You’re thirty years old Max.”

“Yes Max, when will you grow up?” Philip said with annoyance. “You can’t use Kimber as your excuse to be rebellious forever.”

Max and Liz instantly stopped smiling.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Max said. “You have no idea Dad. Just shut up.”

“Oh here’s our food,” Diane said, trying to mend the situation. “Let’s eat.”

Conversation was very strained for the remainder of the meal and then Max and Philip left for their game. Liz ordered a glass of tea and sipped it shyly. She didn’t want to say anything to make the situation worse. It was clear his parents already disliked her.

“So Liz,” Diane said. “How long have you and Max been seeing each other?”

Liz chuckled. “Oh well…we’re not really…” she bit her lip. A lie would sound better right now. “About two months.”

“Oh yes,” Diane smiled.

They had an awkward silence for a few moments and then Diane suggested they go out onto the balcony to see if they could spot the boys. Liz agreed, still feeling a little high and giddy.

Max and Philip weren’t very far away at all. Liz stifled a laugh when she saw Philip had changed into some bizarre golf outfit that included high socks and a chequered vest. “Is he for real?” she accidentally said out loud.

“Pardon?” Diane asked with a smile.

“Oh nothing…”

Max spotted them and waved and blew a kiss. “Hey there Darlin’!”

Liz grinned and waved back like the queen would. “Hello sweetie!”

He turned to his dad with a child-like grin and said, “Don’t you just love her?”

“No,” he said gruffly. “Why do you?”

“Yeah,” he grinned, jumping up and down and waving again, “I think I do.”

Diane was looking at the sky. “Oh no, it looks like it may rain…”

She was right. The grey clouds moved in slowly and it started to pour down. When the boys came back dripping Diane had towels ready and Max dried out his long hair.

“Well the good news is,” Max said. “We can leave now.”

“Charming Max,” Diane said. “It’s nice to know you so enjoy seeing us.”

“I do, I really do mom,” Max shot an angry look at his father, “Let’s do this again some time soon. Thanks for brunch. Bye.”

“Bye,” Philip said simply.

Max quickly kissed his mom’s cheek and then put his beanie back on and took Liz’s arm.

“See you at Christmas!” Liz joked. He walked quickly and she struggled to keep up. “What happened?” she asked.

“Oh he was just being a prat, don’t worry about it.”

They had to run through the rain to get to her car. Max got behind the driving wheel again and Liz was in the passenger seat. “It’s damn cold,” she mentioned. The weed was definitely wearing off by now.

Max rubbed her arms for her.

“I’m sorry about that,” he said. “You see why I get stoned before I go?”

She tried to laugh but her teeth just chattered. “I do actually, yeah.”

“Do you have a jacket back there somewhere?”

“I think so, I’m not sure.”

She put on the radio and he climbed over the seat to have a look. However, all he seemed to be able to find were her underwear. Each time he’d lift them up high and grin at her and she’d just roll her eyes.

Her car was a bomb shell of belongings, they were absolutely everywhere.

Finally she climbed over the seat too and had a look. “We could just wrap you up in all of these things,” he said laughing. “You have clothes for Hawaii though, not Brooklyn winter.”

Liz tutted. “Well have I ever been in a Brooklyn winter before?”

“I’ll just have to keep you warm,” he said, tugging her against him. They were entwined in a bunch of clothing and it was very hard to move. “Do these seats go down?”

She laughed, trying to get away from him. “What if they do?”

In the struggle to get back over to the front seat Liz whacked her head on the roof. In pain she fell backwards onto him rubbing her head. “Ah fuck…” she said. “That wasn’t nice.”

Max laughed. “Well no, of course it wasn’t.”

He kissed it better but then he ended up kissing her mouth as well and things got a little heated. Liz lay back on top of all of her things and he spread out on top of her, kissing her lips and neck.

Her lower half started to slip off the seat and she laughed against his mouth, trying to stay up. “Max…” she gasped and giggled, “I’m fucking uncomfortable. Help!”

He sat up and she straddled his lap, continuing to kiss him passionately. They made out for several minutes, Max’s arms around her back holding her to him.

Suddenly there was a knock on the window breaking the moment. Max reached out with one arm and wound the fogged up glass down a bit.

It was the security guard holding an umbrella. “Take that somewhere else boy. This is a nice place.”

Max wound the window back up and they reluctantly got back over the seats.

“Let’s not come back here again,” Liz said.

She never made it to see Maria that day. Max told her not to worry though because tomorrow they’d be recording until late and she’d have time then.

“So she doesn’t really visit much?” Liz asked.

Max shook his head. “Nah, not really. But what does she have to keep her coming around? She doesn’t know you’re back yet.”

“Yeah. I wish she’d come home with me when I left.”

“She should have gone,” Max said. “It wasn’t right that she stayed.”

Liz stared at him as he drove. He was one of those drivers that were incredibly relaxed and barely touched the wheel unless they had to. His right hand rested at the bottom of the wheel by his lap and she could see the silver ring on his thumb.

Liz thought he had beautiful thin fingers and watching them barely resting on the wheel made her want him to touch her.

“You have nice hands,” she told him.

He smirked at her and unconsciously glanced at his hands. “You have nice everything,” he told her.

“Ha,” Liz laughed and then because she was red in the face looked away. “Jeesh.”

He laughed quietly too at her embarrassment.

That evening Liz really felt like dancing so they all went out to a club. She completely lost it on the dance floor underneath the flashing fluorescent lights. That’s what this day had seemed to be all about—forgetting life and going crazy.

Everyone who came to dance with her left after a few songs but she continued on until she was exhausted. Finally she went back to their table and sat down.

“No one can keep up with you Liz,” Tess chuckled. “How’re you feeling?”

“Great,” Liz smiled. “Just had to burn off some excess energy. You know how it is.”

Max laughed at her and put his arm around her shoulders.

When they went back to the apartment and she got into his bed again they didn’t have sex. She wanted to test his devotion for her without getting sex involved. He seemed to realize this because he didn’t try anything, simply wrapped his arms around her waist, snuggled in tight and then fell asleep.

~*~

Max hadn’t been kidding when he said she’d have free time on Monday. The band got up early and went straight to the recording studio. The rules were very clear. No one else was allowed in except for the manager. No distractions and no interruptions except for half an hour at midday for lunch.

Liz took her time getting to East Village. She had no idea where to look for her old friend and feared she might not have much luck.

Fate was on her side however because when she got there Maria was outside having a cigarette with a bunch of people. All Liz had to do was get out of the car and Maria screamed and ran towards her.

They hugged ecstatically and jumped up and down.

“You’re here!” Maria exclaimed. “Wow! It’s been forever!”

Liz laughed. “Yeah it has! What are you doing here?”

“Oh you know,” Maria grinned. “I blame my mom. You can’t stop what’s in your blood can ya?”

“Apparently not,” Liz said.

Maria introduced her to some of her new friends and then they went for a walk and had coffee. Liz was about to tell Maria about her mom when Maria brought it up first.

“I heard,” she said. “I called my mom three times while you were gone to check up on you and she told me what happened. I’m so sorry Liz. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. How are you now? Are you okay?”

Liz nodded. “Yeah,” she said sadly. “I’m alright.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

They stayed in the coffee bar for two hours just talking and laughing. Maria told Liz she should come and stay in East Village with her but Liz declined—not really giving an excuse.

“So you’re back with the band then?” Maria asked.

Liz nodded. “I don’t know for how long though.”

“Back with Max?”

Maria commented that Fiona had been following him around like a moth to a flame when they left Knoxville. “I said to her, I said, ‘Leave him alone, leave him to Liz. You know it’s not just fucking with them.’ But she wouldn’t listen. Fucking cow.”

After Liz had told her what happened Maria shook her head in disgust. “What an ass,” she said.

“I’m trying to stay mad,” Liz said. “But I can’t. I don’t know why. Look at his life, to expect him to wait for me…”

Maria nodded. “Yeah. I think you should be honoured he was only with one person. I think that should tell you something.”

Liz’s visit with Maria made her feel much better. She left after promising to come again and then went to visit Isabel. They got lunch for the boys and took it to the recording studio together.

“They better appreciate this,” Liz commented.

Isabel smirked. “I thought you wanted to give something back to the band?” she pushed the door open for Liz and then walked through herself. “They’ll appreciate,” she said.

The guys were in desperate need for a break and were very happy with the sub sandwiches Isabel and Liz had picked out.

Liz didn’t know if Max was looking at her lustfully or the sandwich she was holding. He was sitting on the ground with one leg stretched out and the other bent in the air.

“How’s it going?” she asked and took a seat beside him.

“It’s going bad,” he answered. “We have different ideas from our bosses. They went it this way – we want it that way. What can I say? Too much is being changed. You see what I mean by fame ruins music?”

“No,” she said and smiled.

“I think you’re just saying that. I think you know exactly what I mean,” he said back. “How did it go with Maria?”

“It went good,” she answered. She couldn’t stop smiling. What was wrong with her?
Then she noticed—he couldn’t stop either.

After their half an hour interval was up Liz got to her feet and prepared to leave. Max tugged hand. “Where are you going now?” he asked.

Liz suspected he wasn’t just asking out of curiosity. It was a different. For some reason she thoughts of the other morning when he woke up and called out to her.

“I’m just going to look around with Isabel, that’s all.”

That evening in bed he kept his hands off her. She was in agony. She hadn’t been with him- anyone – for a month. Since she had left Knoxville. He was waiting for her to make a move but for some reason she just couldn’t.

~*~

Helllllllllllllllllllllo!
How is everyone? I noticed a lot of new people have stopped by to leave FB, thank you guys! I'm glad you are enjoying this. I love hearing that you think it's original. My goal is always to surprise, shock and delight. Anyway, hope you liked it.

I need to work on my other fics now!



~nicola

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Please don't Smac!