Roswell Fanatics

NotYourChick wrote:I was told today that being too nice is a weakness. Really don't know how to feel about that.

Kind of is. People take advantage of it and use it to get things they want. Not saying everyone and I'm certainly not saying everyone should be mean, because mean people suck.

Well it was said, because I don't get mad easy.

NotYourChick wrote:I was told today that being too nice is a weakness. Really don't know how to feel about that.

Personally I don't see it as a weakness.

I think it takes more strength of character to go out of your way to be kind to people... to be understanding and giving rather than only thinking of yourself.

nine times out of ten if someone is being nasty to you it has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Maybe they're going through a hard time and your understanding might be the one thing that helps them out.

I've seen people very upset or looking very down and gone out of my way to help them...
and the look on their faces is unbelievable... sometimes just a little kindness can seriously make a difference in someone's day...

I've had the same thing said about me...

that I get taken advantage of because I"m too nice...

but the truth is at the end of the day I can sleep much better knowing I didn't lose my temper and say something I regretted.

You never know what's going on in someone's life, I'd rather give them the benefit of the doubt and be understanding then go off on them.

The few times that I've lost it I always feel horrible and wish I handled it differently...even if that other person was in the wrong.

If you yell and fight back your giving them exactly what they want...they are looking for a reaction from you... I think it takes much more self control to stay calm and walk away.

As long as you're not being hurt in the situation it's just not worth your time and energy.

At the end of the day you have to live with yourself and your own decisions.

I can't really see being selfless understanding and showing restraint while thinking of someone else a weakness.

But that's just my opinion.

carrie


I think you're awesome just the way you are Amanda

I don't know, I've actually gotten to the point where I just try to avoid people now. I've gone out of my way to be nice to people, opened my home to friends, and it's totally been taken advantage of. I see people in grocery store parking lots asking for gas money to get home to their young children and I've given money only to be hit up by the very same people the next day, and now I've gotten to the point where I just tell everyone I don't carry cash on me. It's sad, and I do feel bad about it but it just sucks to be used.

valentinebaby wrote:I don't know, I've actually gotten to the point where I just try to avoid people now. I've gone out of my way to be nice to people, opened my home to friends, and it's totally been taken advantage of. I see people in grocery store parking lots asking for gas money to get home to their young children and I've given money only to be hit up by the very same people the next day, and now I've gotten to the point where I just tell everyone I don't carry cash on me. It's sad, and I do feel bad about it but it just sucks to be used.

ang,

don't get me wrong I totally understand how you feel. I've been completely shocked at how cruel people can be. A very bad trait of mine is being blindly trusting of people and I've been completely blindsided and hurt more times then i'd like to admit. Most of these people have been family, close family actually. The people who are supposed to protect you and love you no matter what.

I"ve been told that this happens from friends because people know how I am and that I would never fight back so they feel that they can do and say anything they want to me. Recently I've gotten to the point where I've been able to at least speak my mind. OF course its in a very nice way and it's extremely difficult for me. I just hate confrontation.

I definitely see your point. I just think that it is those people who are weak and not us. A part of me can't help thinking how bad their life must be that they need to be so mean. I know I probably sound gullible but it's the way I am. Believe me at this point in my life after everything that's happened to me I should be a serious cold hearted bitch, but I'm not ...don't really understand it myself but I just can't be that way.

I definitely understand why you would feel the way you do, believe me.

your just protecting yourself.

carrie

just wanted to add, if you let these people change the person you are inside then its like they've won...

and that would be bad..

Thanks Carrie.

I'm not going to try to let it get to me.

Don't feel bad about not giving the money.

Once one late night when I got off work I stopped at this local truck stop that's open all night.I was planning on going in and grabbing something from their open all night food bar.When I got out of the car this guy pulls up and says "Hey man,I'm trying to get to Atlanta to be with my family but I'm almost out of gas and am out of money.Can you help me?"

Now first off I thought the guy was conning me....but...I've been in some tough spots before and I've been low on gas and money on trips before.But trying to be a nice guy I came up with a way to see if he was for real or a con.I told the guy "yeah man pull up over there to the pump and I'll use my debt card to put in twenty bucks worth of gas for you." The guy gave me a look and went "Uhhh can't you just give me the twenty bucks?" I knew right than all he wanted was money so I just turned around and walked into the truck stop

killjoy wrote:Now first off I thought the guy was conning me....but...I've been in some tough spots before and I've been low on gas and money on trips before.But trying to be a nice guy I came up with a way to see if he was for real or a con.I told the guy "yeah man pull up over there to the pump and I'll use my debt card to put in twenty bucks worth of gas for you." The guy gave me a look and went "Uhhh can't you just give me the twenty bucks?" I knew right than all he wanted was money so I just turned around and walked into the truck stop

OMG KJ that's terrible, but how smart you were to test him like that!

When I was twenty one I was on a trip with my mom and sister. We were visiting my sister at college in Ohio. We ended up getting lost one night trying to find a certain restaurant my sister heard about in the city. We ended up in a dangerous part of town but being from my little town in Connecticut where nothing ever happens I didn't really think much of it.

Well at one point we were stopped at a red light and there was a homeless man sitting in a doorway across the street.

He looked old horrilble...torn clothes dirty. He also looked as if he had his life belongings with him in a garbage bag beside him. He had a sign asking for money around his neck.

Of course here I go naive little Carrie with my heart broken for him. Without telling my mom who was driving or my sister I reach in my purse and grab all the money I had which was a whopping ten bucks and get out of the car with my little dress on and run across the street and hand him the money.

My mother and sister were so shocked they didn't know what the hell to do. They were yelling at me to get back in the car. But honestly I think he was more shocked then anyone, he took the money but gave me such a look of gratitude. He said thank you so much. I told him to please take care of himself and got back in the car... of course holding traffic up at the same time..

I thought my mother was going to kill me but I was so happy.

It was no doubt a stupid thing to do considering I could've gotten hurt but thinking back on it I still feel for him and wonder whatever happened to him.

I don't blame people for being cautious ...especially now a days.

You were totally right to do what you did KJ...

I just hate that there are so many lost people in this world..

Saying all that now that I have my daughter I am the first one to lock the car doors and ignore strangers that try and talk to us...

You watch the news for five minutes and its amazing how paranoid you become ... especially when you're a mom protecting your baby.

jake17 wrote: You watch the news for five minutes and its amazing how paranoid you become ... especially when you're a mom protecting your baby.

That's the truth I swear to God,I'm going to either put my son in private school, or do one of those internet school thingies.

And I'm not saying that everyone is out to get you because they aren't. It's just hard to want to be nice or trusting now a days.

And Killjoy, I never would've thought about doing that. Guess it's a good thing you didn't just hand him a $20.