Roswell Fanatics

Alex: If it's loving that you want, be my guest.

Isabel: Sorry, I'm into having sex and not making love.

Alex: I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to Tess.

Tess: Yes?

********

Kyle: Liz, why Max?

Liz: Because Max is better in bed.

Kyle: Don't you like the Buddha ways anymore.

Liz: No, I like the alien way better.

*******

Isabel: Tess, your breath stinks. Don't they have any tic tacs on Antar?

Tess: They did, but Kivar used them all up.

*****

Michael was climbing through the window at the Deluca house but because of the rain slipped halfway through and fell to the floor with a loud bang.

"What the hell?" a voice yelled and a nearby lamp was turned on.

"Maria?" Michael looked up at the girl who was standing above him giving him a 'what the hell are you doing here' look "This is your room?"

"YES!"

"Darn it I thought I was crawling into your mom's bedroom."

"WHAT?!"

Michael noticed the outraged look and death glares Maria was shooting down at him.

"Ohhhh shit did I say that outloud?"

killjoy wrote:Michael was climbing through the window at the Deluca house but because of the rain slipped halfway through and fell to the floor with a loud bang.

"What the hell?" a voice yelled and a nearby lamp was turned on.

"Maria?" Michael looked up at the girl who was standing above him giving him a 'what the hell are you doing here' look "This is your room?"

"YES!"

"Darn it I thought I was crawling into your mom's bedroom."

"WHAT?!"

Michael noticed the outraged look and death glares Maria was shooting down at him.

"Ohhhh shit did I say that outloud?"

Lol.

Kyle: So do you have any memories of what common alien male folk of Antar look like?

Tess: Well...(sighs with a dreamy smile)

Kyle waits...

Tess: Oh, nah, not really. Nobody and nothing could ever compare to you dressed like Buddha...nobody.

Kyle: Hey leave my friday night ritual out of this!

They had had a wonderful dinner and were now sitting together on the sofa.Maria reached up took Michael's face into her hands and pulled him into a very tender kiss.When the kiss was over Maria began to plant soft kiss down Michael's neck

Max is a way better kisser than her.

Michael suddenly found himself being shoved to the other end of the sofa with Maria glaring at him

"WHAT?!"

"Ohhhh shit did I just say that outloud?" gulped Michael.


Sorry but I'm kind of getting a few 'did I say that outloud' jokes coming to me.

Liz: Sorry Max, I think Edward Cullen is more sexually appealing then you.

Max: (Jaw drops) Huh? Whose Edward Cullen?

Liz: My new husband.

Max; WTF?

(lol, just had to do this, )

Liz is at school surrounded by a group of other teenagers....

"So there I was dying and Max Evans, Max Evans of all people.... He comes up to me, rips open my uniform and somehow heals me. Then today in Bio class, I tested his cells and they're not normal...."

Kyle: I'm in love Tess.

Tess: I know that bathroom mirror of yours has been getting a lot of action.

Kyle: Jealous much.

Tess: Nope, If I saw what you saw in the mirror every morning I'd bang myself too!

Liz: You're not an...an alien...are you?

Max: Nope, 100% rock hard male with chiseled abs and a chest so drool worthy, I have to sell tickets to the ladies of Roswell so they each can have a chance to stare at this divine institution of manhood.

Liz: A simple no would suffice. But since we're on the subject of your manhood, can I get a formal introduction to him.

SETTING: Jim Valenti is driving on the highway late at night and speaking on his walkie takie thing at the same time.

A green spark falls from the sky and smashes into the ground. Jim stops the car.

JIM: Holy crap.

(he get's out the car, treading softly and cautiously. He gets closer and closer to where the green spark hit and sees a pair of high heels sticking out belong to a pair of fishnet clad legs. A woman's head is stuck into the ground [think Meet Dave when Eddie Murphy was shot into the ground ] The curly blonde haired woman crawls out and smiles at Jim)

JIM: (jaw drops in disgust) Holy crap, it's raining prostitutes.