A/N: I have two important things to say here. First is an apology for the long wait. I have written, re-written, deleted, moved and re-re-re-written this chapter so many times. It had to be just right and I still don’t know that it is but I just can’t see how I can change it any more.
Secondly, this is the last part of this story. It has been quite a journey and I am glad you all stuck with me for the duration. The decision to end it here was not a decision lightly made, so don’t think I just couldn’t be bothered any more! I love this story... Part of the decision to end it here, without an epilogue is because a) this part of the story is told and b) I’m going to be writing a sequel. The sequel will be either five or ten parts, deciding how I want to write it and will be posted in the AUW/O aliens thread. I don’t have a title for it yet but I will post a note here (if this fic is still here :s) when the time comes but keep an eye out just in case!
Again, I thank you for coming on this journey with me... I hope you like this part
Part Twenty Eight – The Final Chapter
The silence had dragged on for...well, for far too long in Max’s opinion yet he was reluctant to be the first to break it. He was always the one to give; besides, she was the one who travelled across the country to him. Surely she had
something to say. He shifted in the seat again and looked to the clock on the wall; it was slowly getting closer and closer to the New Year. He hoped this issue would resolve itself before then.
He wasn’t sure what he felt... He was glad that she was there with him but her sudden appearance and subsequent silence was irritating him beyond measure. As was her shuffling because it made him want to reach out and touch her, to still her constant motion and bring her some sort of ease. It was what he would normally have done.
But these were not normal circumstances and it was taking all of his will power to curb his natural instincts.
“I have so many questions...” Liz said finally and Max snorted, shaking his head slightly.
“You’re not the only one,” he said derisively and Liz lifted an un-amused eyebrow in his direction. He shrugged, unrepentant. “I’ll answer your questions.”
His last statement was redundant:
of course he would answer her questions. In his isolation in San Francisco, Max had come to learn that he was really quite pathetic when it came to Liz. Pathetically hopeless and as much as he hated it right not, he wouldn’t change it.
“Why didn’t you go to UCLA?”
Max stilled, his eyes falling from her face to his hands.
“I didn’t get in.”
“Don’t lie to me.” Max snapped his head up to look at her. “You told me you didn’t get in but you did. Why didn’t you go? More importantly, why did you
lie about it? Was I the only person who didn’t know?”
Max looked back up to her and he felt his heart rate increase as he watched her fidgeting lessen and her eyes fix on him. His decision not to go to UCLA hadn’t seemed like that big of a deal at the time. He had wanted to go with Liz and she had gone to Boston. BU wasn’t a bad choice; it was only his second because he hadn’t wanted to give up to Roswell temperatures and UCLA offered him just the appropriate climate. And, if he was honest, when he had applied, a part of him hoped Liz wouldn’t come with him – he had wanted to go it alone, to do the whole independent thing. He’d just only really discovered his sexuality and he thought he owed it to himself to find himself out there.
But when it became obvious that he would be in California without Liz... He had come to realise just how integral to his life she had become. The thought of her being on the other side of the country from him, only to be seen (maybe) at Christmas and Thanksgiving and possibly spring break... It hadn’t been worth thinking about. He felt hollow at the thought, let alone actually doing it.
So when he got his acceptance to UCLA it had been simultaneously the best and worst experience of his life. He had simply tucked it away in a drawer in his room and, three days later, had sent his letter thanking them but turning down their offer of a full scholarship. There hadn’t really been a competition, especially when Liz had told him she wanted him to come to Boston.
“Michael knew and I’m guessing it was him that told you. My parents didn’t even know. My dad was so mad with UCLA when I told them I didn’t get in – he couldn’t understand it... He threatened to write to them and demand a reassessment,” he chuckled slightly at the memory but he glanced at Liz’s unamused face and knew she didn’t appreciate his candour. “I knew that if I told you, you would make me go and... I didn’t want to be that far from you.”
“But Max... that was what you wanted to do. Getting into UCLA meant everything to you. UCLA was what Harvard was to me.” Max shrugged and looked away from her again. All of this was such a long time ago. He hated that it was impacting them
now. “I... I wouldn’t have done the same. The thought of turning down Harvard never even crossed my mind.” Max knew that and it stung as much now as it did then but he didn’t say anything. “I didn’t even apply to UCLA.”
“You knew what you wanted, Liz.”
“So did you!” Liz guffawed and Max looked up, meeting her eyes.
“I wanted to be with you.” Liz paled slightly and sank into her chair a little. He bit the inside of his lip and met her eyes again. “What I mean is... at the time, all I knew was that I couldn’t stand the thought of being that far from you. You were my best friend... I couldn’t lose you to the east coast. You know how those things happen – you stay in contact for a few months, then the emails get shorter and time between them grows. Then you stop seeing each other at Christmas and... I didn’t want that for us, Liz...”
“That wouldn’t-“
“You know it would have. It would have been inevitable.”
Silence surrounded them again and it was Max’s turn to fidget. Admitting those things out loud made it sound so much more... ridiculously pathetic. It
was ridiculously pathetic but he would still go back and do it all over again if he could. He didn’t regret the choice at the time and he certainly didn’t and wouldn’t now.
“You were going to do the same again weren’t you?” Liz said eventually and Max frowned at her, not entirely sure what she was asking. “You weren’t going to come here, were you?” Max waited a second before he shook his head. Liz closed her eyes and Max watched as a silver tear dripped down her cheek. She didn’t move to wipe it away. “I was never mad at you, Max.”
Max frowned. He was pretty sure she
was mad when she threw his out of her house and told him not to come back. That what had happened between them shouldn’t have happened and that it would definitely never happen again. It had crushed him, a lot more than it should have. She hadn’t even asked him his opinion; she hadn’t even given him the opportunity...
“Liz...”
“You’re my best friend, Max. Michael told me that... that it was my fault you gave up everything you ever wanted and I... I couldn’t let you do that again. Not for me. I’m not worth it.”
Max was in front of her in a move so fast even his mind hadn’t processed it. His hands were on her knees as she wept into her upturned palms.
“Liz... Isn’t it enough that I thought you were worth it?” She only sobbed harder and Max didn’t know what to do. So he kept rubbing her arms, her shoulders. “You’re my best friend, Liz... I hate that what happened changed things but... after everything, you’re still... it’s still you.”
Liz wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him between her legs, crushing them together. He didn’t complain; instead, he took a breath and his nose was filled with the scent of Liz and his cock began stirring again despite his efforts to quell its inappropriate reappearance.
“I don’t deserve you... I’m a crappy friend.”
Max ducked his head further into her hair and nosed some of the strands out of the way, tracing his nose along the skin beneath her ear. He felt her shiver in his arms and his cock liked that entirely too much.
“You’re not a crappy friend... It’s not your fault that I’m just better at it than you.”
She chuckled slightly at that and drew back, smacking his shoulders lightly.
“I’ve missed you so much,” she whispered and traced her fingers over his features and it was his turn to shiver at her gentle touch. How could he not have noticed how her touch ignited his skin for all those years? It explained so much... “I was so angry, Max... I’m so sorry for the... for the way I didn’t handle it...” She took a breath and Max was too distracted by the rise and fall of her bosom, right in front of his face, to say anything in response. “I had so many more questions but I can’t remember what they were,” she admitted as she played with the hairs at the back of his head.
“Me neither,” he murmured as he leaned forward and nuzzled her hair again, shuddering as her fingers slid through his hair again. He twitched.
“That night, Max...” he began and Max knew exactly which night she was referring to. “Do you regret it?”
He drew back from her then and settled in on his knees, watching her feature as she watched his. Eventually, he shook his head. He could
never regret that night – and he told her so.
“I hate everything that happened after it but that night... being inside of you, Liz...” he closed his eyes as his body remembered the sensation; of her warmth surrounding him, of her voice murmuring his name...
When he opened his eyes again, she was smiling softly down to him, her eyes glistening again and she nodded when he met her eyes.
“I know what you mean.”
He wrapped his arms around her again and they stayed like that for a long time. Max continued to breathe in her scent, rememorizing it and she sniffled every so often but, like so many other moments between them, it was right.
He didn’t know where this left them, at all. Because, although they had sort of talked about stuff, he wasn’t sure anything had really been resolved. Sure, some of it was... she had apologised to him for flaking out but... He was still on the other side of the country from her and...
“I’m not coming back to Boston, Liz,” he said, feeling like an ass for breaking the silence with such a negative sentiment but he was surprised when she snorted out a soft laugh. He pulled back and looked at her, realising only then how uncomfortably he had been.
“I know you’re not. I don’t expect you to.” She trailed her fingers over his jaw. “You’ve given up enough for me.”
“Liz-“
“We’ll figure something out, Max.” She sighed and leaned her forehead against hers. “You’re my best friend... whatever else happened, that’s the truth.”
He nodded against her and he watched in amusement as she fought back a yawn. Slowly, he drew back from her and stood, holding his hand out to her. She took it, her fingertips trailing across his palm causing the skin to flare under her gentle caress.
“Let’s go to bed,” he said to her and drew her up, smirking when her eyes widened as she pressed against the hardness in his jeans. “To sleep, Liz. You must be exhausted.”
She nodded as she followed his down the corridor – he spared a glance to the door that he had pushed her up against – and led her to his bedroom. Once inside, he handed her a pair of sweats and a tee shirt, slipping into his bathroom to give her privacy to change. In there, he stripped and splashed water on his face, hissing as some of the cool liquid landed on his overheated chest. He looked down to his protruding erection and frowned at it, deciding to leave it in hopes it would disappear on its own. He doubted it but he could dream.
He pulled on the sweats he’d collected for himself and wiped the few droplets of liquid from his chest before heading back into his bedroom. Liz was changed and sitting hesitantly on the edge of his bed. He smiled as he approached her, running his fingers through her hair and down across her cheek. She smiled up to him as he urged her to lie back on the bed, fixing the covers around her as she moved. Once she was settled, he moved around the bed and got in at the other side. They wasted no time in migrating to one another and Max sighed as he nosed the hair away from her shoulder so he could rest his head there. Her hand covered his on her stomach and he tightened his grip on her slightly.
He glanced to the bedside clock and smiled slightly.
“Happy New Year, Liz,” he murmured as he pressed a kiss to the exposed skin of her neck.
She drew her fingers along the back of his forearm and lifted his hand so she could kiss his palm.
“Happy New Year, Max.”
Liz was asleep within minute. Max lay awake beside her for a long time, just listening to the sounds of her breathing and thinking over their long history. He thought of the times they shared in school, then again living together at college. He thought of living with her again in her small apartment in Boston and now it felt to have her in his arms now.
And it was then, at the precipice of waking and sleep, that Max realised he was – and had always been – in love with Liz Parker.
The End.