I Forgot To Tell You...(CC,A/I,PG13) Pt 20 - 20-Dec-04
Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 10:21 am
A/N: Hi, As I normally post each Monday this wil be my last before the 25th so I just wanted to wish everyone Happy Christmas or Happy holidays, which ever you prefer
. All the best, David / StargazerUK
Chapter 20
“Are you sure you’re not peeking?” Maria asked.
Michael sighed heavily from his place in the corner, face towards the wall. “For the third time Maria I am NOT looking! Despite what you might think of my alien traits eyes in the back of my head isn’t one of them.” Michael heard an intake of breath from Maria at that comment.
“I know that Michael and I’d appreciate it if you stopped talking to me as if I were five years old or if this was my first encounter with an alien.” Maria ranted.
“I’m sorry but what do you want me to say?” He queried. “It was your idea to come in here and I’m doing as you asked by standing over here with my back to you and my eyes closed so I don’t know what you expect from me.”
“That’s not what I am saying.” Maria countered. “I was just making sure you were giving me my privacy as I get changed. There’s no need for the spiteful comments about eyes in the back of your head.”
“So how else am I going to see you with my back turned if it’s not with eyes in the back of my head?” He questioned.
Although Michael couldn’t see her Maria shrugged. “You’re the tricky alien out of the two of us. For all I know you have fashioned a mirror out of something.”
Michael let out a laugh. “Maria if I was going to spy on you I wouldn’t have a need to fashion a mirror out of anything.”
“Oh…” She paused. “…and why wouldn’t you need to make a mirror?”
“Because if I turn my head slightly to the right I can see your reflection in the full length mirror that you have here in your bedroom.” He explained.
“I KNEW IT!” Maria exclaimed. “I knew you were spying on me.”
“Maria, can I turn round now?” Michael asked softly.
“I’m not sure you deserve to turn round after spying on me.”
Michael sighed again. “Maria, I’m turning round so if you have anything you don’t want me to see I suggest you cover it up.” Before Maria had a chance to react to that comment Michael slowly turned himself around. He found Maria, fully dressed, staring at him from the other side of her bed. “I wasn’t spying on you…I would never spy on you. I know you are annoyed with me right now but please be angry with me for the things I have done and not for the things you imagine I have done.”
“What?” Maria blinked rapidly. “All of a sudden I’m not worth spying on now?”
Michael allowed his head to drop for a moment as he thought about his reply. Slowly he looked back up at Maria and a slight smile appeared on his lips, which made Maria feel a little uncomfortable. “You are more beautiful now than I could have ever imagined. I’ve always thought you beautiful but looking at you now you make me want to pick you up and hold you in my arms, never letting you go.”
For the first time in her life Maria was lost for words. That was so not what she was expecting from the lumbering young man. “The reason I am so adamant that I wasn’t spying on you isn’t because you aren’t worth spying on, far from it. I wasn’t looking because you asked me not to…it’s as simple as that. I only want to look at you when you want me to, when you are ready. If that time doesn’t come then that is something I will have to learn to deal with but in the meantime I will wait.”
Maria felt the tears starting to burn her eyes. She had thought it all out. She knew how she was going to handle their return, his return…but this wasn’t it. She hadn’t even contemplated the thought that Michael might have matured, grown even. How the hell was she supposed to compete with words like the ones he had just spoken to her? She couldn’t.
Michael watched as Maria moved around the bed, closing the gap between them. She only came to a halt once she was merely inches from her companion, their height difference meaning he was now looking down into her beautiful, tearful eyes. She reached up slowly and cupped his cheek with her right hand and caressed it gently. “Promise me you’ll never stop looking at me.”
Michael simply stared down at her. “Always…I promise.”
*~*~*~*~*~*~
Liz and Max were strolling along the sidewalk, laden with food. Max could see out of the corner of his eye that Liz kept looking at him but then quickly looking away. He was trying hard not to smile as it was a long time since he had seen Liz do this little routine and he now realised he had missed it. Whenever Liz had something on her mind that she wanted to talk to Max about she would look at him so she could start a conversation but then she would second guess herself by starting to answer her own questions, causing her to look away.
Max had witnessed a few of these silent battles and he knew it would only annoy Liz if she thought he was laughing at her. He realised now might be a good time for him to start talking. “I’m sorry about the way the whole Tess thing came up. I feel horrible about Maria. Do you think she will be alright?”
“She’ll be fine.” Liz glanced over at Max with a confident smile on her beautiful face. “It was a shock to all of us. It’s never a nice thing, hearing about someone dying, especially someone so young but I think the reason Maria is feeling so bad is because she didn’t particularly like Tess, that’s what’s making her feel so guilty now.”
“Are you OK?” Max asked softly, not wishing to pry.
“I’m good.” Liz nodded. “I’m truly sad she is dead but her passing is the least of my worries. If I’m honest I can’t say Tess was one of my favourite people either but as selfish as it might seem I have more important things on my mind.”
“Like us.” Max nodded his understanding. He looked at Liz and then realised his comment could be taken one of two ways. “By us I mean me, Isabel and Michael.” He added hurriedly.
Liz let out a stifled laugh. “I knew who you meant.” She paused for a moment. “Max, please don’t feel like you need to pussy-foot around me.”
“Oh I don’t.” He replied, although he was acutely aware that he didn’t believe his words anymore than Liz did.
Liz stopped her walk back to the apartment and looked at Max who had turned back to look at his petit companion when he realised she had come to a halt. “I’m glad you and Tess never came to anything.” She said bluntly. “I’ve thought back on that day many times over the last few years and I’ve tried to convince myself that my actions were purely noble, for the greater good, but now I’m not so sure.”
“If you’re telling me that you might not have been 100% behind the idea of me and Tess as a couple I would have to tell you that it would be music to my ears.” Max smiled softly. “I was so naive then and there was so much going on that I was having difficulty thinking straight let alone making decisions about destiny and fulfilling prophecies. What I can tell you with absolute certainty is that the one thing that I never lost sight of. The one thing I was never confused or in doubt about was us. I love you Liz Parker. I always have and I always will and I just need you to know that. My one true regret, leaving the way I did, was I never got to tell you how I really felt, not on that particular day anyway.”
Liz looked up at Max and was unsure how she was supposed to react to his words. She wanted to respond, tell him how she truly felt that day but she wasn’t sure she was ready. She didn’t want to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. She needed time to think. “If we don’t get this food back soon it will be cold.” It was the only thing she could think to say that didn’t include telling Max how overjoyed she was to have him back in her life or how she was fighting against every fibre of her being that was simply screaming for her to drop the food and rap herself in his arms.
“Cold food,” Max repeated. “Right.” He nodded. He knew a smoke screen when he saw one and this was Liz holding back, biding her time. If she needed time then he would give her time. There was no statute of limitations when it came to how he felt about Liz Parker. He wasn’t going anywhere.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“What are you not telling me?”
Isabel frowned. Those were the words she was thinking about saying to Alex and now here she sat hearing those exact same words directed at her. “What am I holding back?” She asked, barely able to hide her amazement.
Now Alex was confused. “Isabel I’m not looking to upset you but you are clearly unhappy about something, I can see it in your face so I just thought I should ask, see if I can help.”
“There’s nothing wrong with me Alex!” She said defensively. “It’s you that I think has the problem, you’re the one holding something back and it scares me.”
“Problem? I don’t have a problem.” He countered. “I’ve gone out of my way to be nice to you, welcoming you back and you think I have a problem. It’s not as thought I’m the one that walked away without as much as a goodbye.”
“Exactly!” Isabel cried. “And that is what I am saying. I never intended to hurt you but I knew that as a consequence of my actions you might feel betrayed and upset yet since I’ve been back you’ve done nothing but tip-toe around me saying all the right things at all the right times. It’s as though you are trying to gloss over what went on between us and I can’t let that happen!”
Alex stood up, scratching his head. “Let me get this straight. I’ve been nice to you and completely supportive when it came to your return and you’re telling me that it’s a bad thing. Me trying to be positive about us and looking forward is wrong?”
“Not wrong.” Isabel pleaded as she followed his lead and stood up. “We just need to come to terms with what has happened between us before we can even think about moving forward.” Isabel took a step closer and reached for his hand. “Trust me Alex when I tell you I have thought about nothing else for the last four years, being with you and looking to have a future together, but we have to put to rest what has passed between us. I hate to use the word closure but I can’t think of a more appropriate word.”
“I don’t understand.” Alex shook his head. “Where is all this coming from? I thought everything was fine between us and now you tell me we have to pick our relationship apart before we can rebuild it? If it’s not broken why do we have to fix it?”
“Do you love me Alex?” Isabel suddenly asked.
“You know I do.” He responded. “Which is why I don’t think there is a problem.”
“But why do you love me?” She pressed. “I mean I was an absolute bitch in high school, to you and everyone else so why did you keep trying? Why didn’t you just walk away, you were and still are too good for me.”
Alex stood silent for a minute, simply staring at the beautiful young woman who stood before him while he thought about her question. “I knew you.” He stated softly. “We’d never really spoken but I just knew you, I knew the type of woman you really were from the first time I laid eyes on you.” Alex let out a slight laugh. “Of course the first time I saw you we were in 3rd grade so you weren’t exactly a woman but even then I knew there was just something about you, something special. When you grew older nothing changed. You were still special to me and it was clear you had your secrets and that you had your insecurities.”
“That’s it!” Isabel exclaimed with a broad smile on her face. “That’s the word I’ve been waiting for. The word that I knew was coming. Insecurity Alex, it’s one of the things that tie us to one another. My insecurities ruled my life until you came along, allowing me to open up to you. I never dreamed of letting anyone get close to me, of letting someone in but there was just something about you. Even when I pushed you away you just waited for me as though it was meant to be.”
Alex continued to gaze upon his companion, her words slowly eating into him. “And my insecurities?” He questioned.
“Even now you probably question why I love you, why I am so in love with you.” Isabel released her hold on his hand and reached up and brushed the back of her fingers against his cheek, her fingers tingling at the sensation. “You’re just this great guy who does anything for anyone without a second thought and yet you still question why people feel about you the way they do. I bet you even think about your friendship with Liz and Maria sometimes not even knowing that they probably wake up each morning and thank the lord that you are in their lives. I know that is how you feel about them and you shouldn’t be surprised that that is how they feel about you. How I feel about you.”
“So what do I say?” He asked softly. “What do I do?”
“Tell me what you’re scared off.” Isabel asked softly. “Tell me anything that is on your mind no matter what it is and that way we can deal with it together. I know you’ve been holding something back, I can see it in your eyes when you look at me. If you want to shout at me or scream at me then do it. We can’t have any secrets between us and certainly no ill feeling. I will never intentionally hurt you but if I do you have to tell me, no holding back.”
Alex could feel his heart pounding in his chest. His mind was racing at a million miles an hour and he wasn’t sure he could do as she was asking, he couldn’t tell her his deepest fear.”
“It doesn’t matter what it is, you can say anything and I’ll be here for you.” Isabel offered gently. “Please Alex, I’m begging you.”
Alex looked at her again, tears glistening in his eyes. “I’m scared you will leave me again.”
To be continued…

Chapter 20
“Are you sure you’re not peeking?” Maria asked.
Michael sighed heavily from his place in the corner, face towards the wall. “For the third time Maria I am NOT looking! Despite what you might think of my alien traits eyes in the back of my head isn’t one of them.” Michael heard an intake of breath from Maria at that comment.
“I know that Michael and I’d appreciate it if you stopped talking to me as if I were five years old or if this was my first encounter with an alien.” Maria ranted.
“I’m sorry but what do you want me to say?” He queried. “It was your idea to come in here and I’m doing as you asked by standing over here with my back to you and my eyes closed so I don’t know what you expect from me.”
“That’s not what I am saying.” Maria countered. “I was just making sure you were giving me my privacy as I get changed. There’s no need for the spiteful comments about eyes in the back of your head.”
“So how else am I going to see you with my back turned if it’s not with eyes in the back of my head?” He questioned.
Although Michael couldn’t see her Maria shrugged. “You’re the tricky alien out of the two of us. For all I know you have fashioned a mirror out of something.”
Michael let out a laugh. “Maria if I was going to spy on you I wouldn’t have a need to fashion a mirror out of anything.”
“Oh…” She paused. “…and why wouldn’t you need to make a mirror?”
“Because if I turn my head slightly to the right I can see your reflection in the full length mirror that you have here in your bedroom.” He explained.
“I KNEW IT!” Maria exclaimed. “I knew you were spying on me.”
“Maria, can I turn round now?” Michael asked softly.
“I’m not sure you deserve to turn round after spying on me.”
Michael sighed again. “Maria, I’m turning round so if you have anything you don’t want me to see I suggest you cover it up.” Before Maria had a chance to react to that comment Michael slowly turned himself around. He found Maria, fully dressed, staring at him from the other side of her bed. “I wasn’t spying on you…I would never spy on you. I know you are annoyed with me right now but please be angry with me for the things I have done and not for the things you imagine I have done.”
“What?” Maria blinked rapidly. “All of a sudden I’m not worth spying on now?”
Michael allowed his head to drop for a moment as he thought about his reply. Slowly he looked back up at Maria and a slight smile appeared on his lips, which made Maria feel a little uncomfortable. “You are more beautiful now than I could have ever imagined. I’ve always thought you beautiful but looking at you now you make me want to pick you up and hold you in my arms, never letting you go.”
For the first time in her life Maria was lost for words. That was so not what she was expecting from the lumbering young man. “The reason I am so adamant that I wasn’t spying on you isn’t because you aren’t worth spying on, far from it. I wasn’t looking because you asked me not to…it’s as simple as that. I only want to look at you when you want me to, when you are ready. If that time doesn’t come then that is something I will have to learn to deal with but in the meantime I will wait.”
Maria felt the tears starting to burn her eyes. She had thought it all out. She knew how she was going to handle their return, his return…but this wasn’t it. She hadn’t even contemplated the thought that Michael might have matured, grown even. How the hell was she supposed to compete with words like the ones he had just spoken to her? She couldn’t.
Michael watched as Maria moved around the bed, closing the gap between them. She only came to a halt once she was merely inches from her companion, their height difference meaning he was now looking down into her beautiful, tearful eyes. She reached up slowly and cupped his cheek with her right hand and caressed it gently. “Promise me you’ll never stop looking at me.”
Michael simply stared down at her. “Always…I promise.”
*~*~*~*~*~*~
Liz and Max were strolling along the sidewalk, laden with food. Max could see out of the corner of his eye that Liz kept looking at him but then quickly looking away. He was trying hard not to smile as it was a long time since he had seen Liz do this little routine and he now realised he had missed it. Whenever Liz had something on her mind that she wanted to talk to Max about she would look at him so she could start a conversation but then she would second guess herself by starting to answer her own questions, causing her to look away.
Max had witnessed a few of these silent battles and he knew it would only annoy Liz if she thought he was laughing at her. He realised now might be a good time for him to start talking. “I’m sorry about the way the whole Tess thing came up. I feel horrible about Maria. Do you think she will be alright?”
“She’ll be fine.” Liz glanced over at Max with a confident smile on her beautiful face. “It was a shock to all of us. It’s never a nice thing, hearing about someone dying, especially someone so young but I think the reason Maria is feeling so bad is because she didn’t particularly like Tess, that’s what’s making her feel so guilty now.”
“Are you OK?” Max asked softly, not wishing to pry.
“I’m good.” Liz nodded. “I’m truly sad she is dead but her passing is the least of my worries. If I’m honest I can’t say Tess was one of my favourite people either but as selfish as it might seem I have more important things on my mind.”
“Like us.” Max nodded his understanding. He looked at Liz and then realised his comment could be taken one of two ways. “By us I mean me, Isabel and Michael.” He added hurriedly.
Liz let out a stifled laugh. “I knew who you meant.” She paused for a moment. “Max, please don’t feel like you need to pussy-foot around me.”
“Oh I don’t.” He replied, although he was acutely aware that he didn’t believe his words anymore than Liz did.
Liz stopped her walk back to the apartment and looked at Max who had turned back to look at his petit companion when he realised she had come to a halt. “I’m glad you and Tess never came to anything.” She said bluntly. “I’ve thought back on that day many times over the last few years and I’ve tried to convince myself that my actions were purely noble, for the greater good, but now I’m not so sure.”
“If you’re telling me that you might not have been 100% behind the idea of me and Tess as a couple I would have to tell you that it would be music to my ears.” Max smiled softly. “I was so naive then and there was so much going on that I was having difficulty thinking straight let alone making decisions about destiny and fulfilling prophecies. What I can tell you with absolute certainty is that the one thing that I never lost sight of. The one thing I was never confused or in doubt about was us. I love you Liz Parker. I always have and I always will and I just need you to know that. My one true regret, leaving the way I did, was I never got to tell you how I really felt, not on that particular day anyway.”
Liz looked up at Max and was unsure how she was supposed to react to his words. She wanted to respond, tell him how she truly felt that day but she wasn’t sure she was ready. She didn’t want to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. She needed time to think. “If we don’t get this food back soon it will be cold.” It was the only thing she could think to say that didn’t include telling Max how overjoyed she was to have him back in her life or how she was fighting against every fibre of her being that was simply screaming for her to drop the food and rap herself in his arms.
“Cold food,” Max repeated. “Right.” He nodded. He knew a smoke screen when he saw one and this was Liz holding back, biding her time. If she needed time then he would give her time. There was no statute of limitations when it came to how he felt about Liz Parker. He wasn’t going anywhere.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“What are you not telling me?”
Isabel frowned. Those were the words she was thinking about saying to Alex and now here she sat hearing those exact same words directed at her. “What am I holding back?” She asked, barely able to hide her amazement.
Now Alex was confused. “Isabel I’m not looking to upset you but you are clearly unhappy about something, I can see it in your face so I just thought I should ask, see if I can help.”
“There’s nothing wrong with me Alex!” She said defensively. “It’s you that I think has the problem, you’re the one holding something back and it scares me.”
“Problem? I don’t have a problem.” He countered. “I’ve gone out of my way to be nice to you, welcoming you back and you think I have a problem. It’s not as thought I’m the one that walked away without as much as a goodbye.”
“Exactly!” Isabel cried. “And that is what I am saying. I never intended to hurt you but I knew that as a consequence of my actions you might feel betrayed and upset yet since I’ve been back you’ve done nothing but tip-toe around me saying all the right things at all the right times. It’s as though you are trying to gloss over what went on between us and I can’t let that happen!”
Alex stood up, scratching his head. “Let me get this straight. I’ve been nice to you and completely supportive when it came to your return and you’re telling me that it’s a bad thing. Me trying to be positive about us and looking forward is wrong?”
“Not wrong.” Isabel pleaded as she followed his lead and stood up. “We just need to come to terms with what has happened between us before we can even think about moving forward.” Isabel took a step closer and reached for his hand. “Trust me Alex when I tell you I have thought about nothing else for the last four years, being with you and looking to have a future together, but we have to put to rest what has passed between us. I hate to use the word closure but I can’t think of a more appropriate word.”
“I don’t understand.” Alex shook his head. “Where is all this coming from? I thought everything was fine between us and now you tell me we have to pick our relationship apart before we can rebuild it? If it’s not broken why do we have to fix it?”
“Do you love me Alex?” Isabel suddenly asked.
“You know I do.” He responded. “Which is why I don’t think there is a problem.”
“But why do you love me?” She pressed. “I mean I was an absolute bitch in high school, to you and everyone else so why did you keep trying? Why didn’t you just walk away, you were and still are too good for me.”
Alex stood silent for a minute, simply staring at the beautiful young woman who stood before him while he thought about her question. “I knew you.” He stated softly. “We’d never really spoken but I just knew you, I knew the type of woman you really were from the first time I laid eyes on you.” Alex let out a slight laugh. “Of course the first time I saw you we were in 3rd grade so you weren’t exactly a woman but even then I knew there was just something about you, something special. When you grew older nothing changed. You were still special to me and it was clear you had your secrets and that you had your insecurities.”
“That’s it!” Isabel exclaimed with a broad smile on her face. “That’s the word I’ve been waiting for. The word that I knew was coming. Insecurity Alex, it’s one of the things that tie us to one another. My insecurities ruled my life until you came along, allowing me to open up to you. I never dreamed of letting anyone get close to me, of letting someone in but there was just something about you. Even when I pushed you away you just waited for me as though it was meant to be.”
Alex continued to gaze upon his companion, her words slowly eating into him. “And my insecurities?” He questioned.
“Even now you probably question why I love you, why I am so in love with you.” Isabel released her hold on his hand and reached up and brushed the back of her fingers against his cheek, her fingers tingling at the sensation. “You’re just this great guy who does anything for anyone without a second thought and yet you still question why people feel about you the way they do. I bet you even think about your friendship with Liz and Maria sometimes not even knowing that they probably wake up each morning and thank the lord that you are in their lives. I know that is how you feel about them and you shouldn’t be surprised that that is how they feel about you. How I feel about you.”
“So what do I say?” He asked softly. “What do I do?”
“Tell me what you’re scared off.” Isabel asked softly. “Tell me anything that is on your mind no matter what it is and that way we can deal with it together. I know you’ve been holding something back, I can see it in your eyes when you look at me. If you want to shout at me or scream at me then do it. We can’t have any secrets between us and certainly no ill feeling. I will never intentionally hurt you but if I do you have to tell me, no holding back.”
Alex could feel his heart pounding in his chest. His mind was racing at a million miles an hour and he wasn’t sure he could do as she was asking, he couldn’t tell her his deepest fear.”
“It doesn’t matter what it is, you can say anything and I’ll be here for you.” Isabel offered gently. “Please Alex, I’m begging you.”
Alex looked at her again, tears glistening in his eyes. “I’m scared you will leave me again.”
To be continued…