RL has finally let up enough to let me get back into the rhythm of my writing...yeah. I'm keeping my fingers crossed too.
Hope y'all had a wonderful holiday season and a Happy New Year!
And now, on with the story....
Pathos
Posted in two parts due to length
********Part 16*************************
Letting the cigarette dangle haphazardly from her lips, Serena slid her lighter deftly into the pack of Salems and then shoved it into her jacket pocket, making a mental note to stop at a gas station for more on the way back to the motel. She took a much needed drag of nicotine before opening her eyes to still Ava’s restless shifting with a glare. Exhaling slowly, she watched the steady stream of smoke drift through the air, reaching for something as it faded from sight. Returning the cigarette to her lips, she took another drag.
Inale, exhale.
There was something almost soothing in the sheer repetition of the movement, something that lent a fragile legitimacy to the prosaic act of breathing.
“Serena?”
Inhale, exhale.
“You ok?”
Inhale, exh… Was she ok? The question cut sharply into her forced calm and Serena gave a bitter snort of laughter. Was she ok? She’d never be ok again. Which didn’t matter, she told herself coldly. She didn’t need to be ok to get this done.
Taking another long drag, Serena focused on the phantom relief of the nicotine as it finally saturated her bloodstream, taking the fuckin’ edge off forty eight hours gone without anything resembling sleep. She relaxed. At least enough to ignore Ava’s presence for the next few minutes…seconds.
Serena pinched the cigarette more tightly between her fingers and forced her impatience with the blonde aside. She could deal with her for a little while longer. A very little while longer. She’d have to if she was going to get her hands on Rath anytime soon. Her lip curled in disgust. Predictable as ever, going after the fucking King. Zan, Max…made no difference to him as long as he ended up with that seal. At least his little jaunt to the alien Mecca made more sense now, she thought to herself. And now that she knew what he wanted, she planned to be there when he made a grab for it.
It suited her suddenly, waiting him out. Seemed a damn sight better than following his ass all over the country, getting nowhere fast.
Now she just had to convince the Roswell Contingent to go along with her. She was all too aware that she couldn’t fight them and Rath all at the same time. She needed them to trust her, at least enough to work with her. Which meant that she had to use Ava’s connection to Liz. Serena almost choked on her sudden, bitter amusement. If was funny. Really, it was. She needed to trust Ava. Easier said than done.
Have to give the Stepford Wife credit, Serena decided brutally. Always working some angle. If it wasn't making Zan feel responsible for her it was making sure she was just useful enough not to be thrown away. Much as she'd like to write the blonde off as dead weight, she as all too aware that without Ava all she had to recommend herself to Liz Parker was her own first impression. Serena grimaced lightly at the thought and braced herself for what was to come. Inhale, exhale. Keep breathing and get this the fuck over with.
Slanting an assessing glance at the blonde in the passenger seat Serena shook her head at her own folly. This new plan seemed as ridiculous as the last one. And just as doomed. Trusting Ava…working with people she didn’t know, and probably wouldn’t like…she let out a derisive snort. It was a fucking joke!
And it’s your only option, so get a fucking grip, Serena ordered herself. Yeah. Easier said than done.
Ava pulled her tongue ring between her teeth, absently chewing the metal as she stared at The Crashdown’s flying saucer. They were no closer to it than they had been twenty minutes ago when they’d pulled into this spot, but if Serena had noticed the oddity of sitting there in silence, half a block away she gave no indication. Clearing her throat, she tried to get Serena’s attention. But the other girl simply lit another cigarette from her quickly dwindling pack. At this rate, they’d both have cancer before they even saw Liz, Ava thought, swallowing her frustrated sigh.
“Are, uh…are we plannin’ on goin’ in? Sometime soon?” Ava ventured, unsurprised when Serena’s silent, perfunctory nod was her only response. She’d been like this for the last two days, focused and aloof, speaking only to question her about what she knew before falling silent again to mull over…whatever the fuck she was mulling over. It was driving her ‘round the fucking bend. Ava glanced out the passenger side window feeling two days worth of anxious frustration rushing to the surface. Just like Zan. God forbid, I know what the fuck we’re plannin’, she thought resentfully. It’s only my ass on the line with Rath. It’s only me you’re gonna use to get in with these people. It’s only me…
“You wanna go, feel free.”
Ava searched Serena’s blank expression warily, a strange, cold fear sliding along her spine as she wondered if that had been Serena’s plan all along. To cut her loose so that she could do - whatever it was she was planning to do - on her own. Ava shook her head, hating her own weakness, and helpless in its grip. “I…I didn’ say that…I’m just sayin…ya know, we might wanna…” she stuttered, her mind reeling with the possibility that she was about to be left behind.
Serena ignored the other girls rambling and crushed her cigarette out with a mournful sigh. “Let’s get this freak show on the road,” she said grimly.
***********************
“I thought you were supposed to be making yourself un-available to Isabel,” Liz muttered, glaring unfairly at Alex and grabbing his half-finished glass of orange soda so she could continue to wipe down the counter. The last two days had dragged on until the anticipation of waiting for Ava to contact them had mutated into a tense suspicion when she hadn’t. “The least you could have done was wait until you had all the information,” she muttered, sending a distracted glance across the street to the UFO Center. She’d been doing that ever since she’d seen Max and Michael striding through the front door an hour ago, neither of them looking particularly happy.
“There was no more information to get,” Alex said plaintively, reaching for his glass only to have Liz dump it into the plastic bus container with the rest of the dirty dishes.
“Whatever,” Liz muttered, her mind drifting from the conversation when the door opened across the street. She exhaled, crestfallen when it was only Brody heading out.
“Hey, I just reported the facts,” Alex continued. “There could still be an explanation. I guess…” he hedged when he noticed Liz’s dejected expression. He threw Maria a questioning look, but she just shrugged and handed him another orange cola to replace the one he’d lost.
“Maria, did Michael mention…”
“For the fifth time, Liz, no. He didn’t say why Max wanted to see him. And for the fifteenth time, staring across the street isn’t going to give you bionic hearing.”
Rolling her eyes, Liz turned to Maria. “I know that, I just…”
“Want to make sure they don’t decide to do anything stupid,” Alex and Maria chorused.
“I said dangerous,” Liz corrected, grabbing Alex’s soda glass and wiping the counter harder.
Maria sighed and sat down next to Alex wishing that someone, anyone would walk into the diner so that Liz would have something to do besides wipe the counter. “Look, I know you’re worried here - and don’t bite my head off - but tell me again, why do we care about pyromaniac with a thing against morgues?”
“Anyone I know?”
“Oh my God!” Maria gasped, swiveling in her seat as Serena’s voice sounded in conjunction with the tinkling of the bell over the door.
Liz blinked at her reflection in the countertop and then looked up, her eyes widening as Serena strode into the restaurant, looking supremely unconcerned by everyone’s reaction to her presence.
After checking to make sure that Maria wasn’t hyperventilating, Alex turned to the two girls standing just a few feet away. After Isabel’s account of the destruction she had wrought he was almost disappointed to find Serena looking so coolly composed, almost…normal. Her face was completely free of any painful looking piercings, and unlike the jarring black and pink highlights that colored Ava’s hair, Serena’s curls were a simple, natural brunette. Her dark blue gaze was steady, reflecting none of the uncertainty that shimmered in Ava’s cerulean eyes. Instead, Serena seemed confident, knowing…Alex swallowed hard, his cheeks flushing a heated crimson when he realized that she was fully aware of his perusal. And probably had been the whole time.
Maria stood up, her eyes narrowed suspiciously on Serena. Not much for color, she decided, taking in the unrelenting black of her outfit. Even the harsh makeup lining her eyes and lips was dark and foreboding. She lifted her chin, refusing to be intimidated by some New York reject even as she wished fervently that Michael would get here for his shift already.
“Serena,” Liz finally breathed out, glancing quickly across the street. She was suddenly grateful that Max and Michael were holed up at the UFO Center and not here…or maybe not. Serena seemed much calmer today but she was no less unapproachable. Vaguely unsettled, Liz slid around the counter to stand before her.
Serena nodded. “Liz,” she replied, letting out an exasperated sigh when everyone continued to stare at her in silence. Idly she wondered if she’d sprouted another head in the last three minutes. Considering the freaked out uniforms and alien décor, she’d probably fit in better if she had. “You people gonna start snappin’ picture’s?” she asked, sharply breaking the silence.
“You said you were gonna be nice,” Ave reminded Serena uneasily.
“I am bein’ nice.”
Alex let out a strangled snort of laughter and then cleared his throat, falling silent even before Liz shot him a look. He wasn’t so sure Serena was kidding.
“This aint nice,” Ava pointed out, rolling her eyes in exasperation when Serena continued to ignore her. “Are you even listenin’?”
“Ta you? No.”
Liz winced sympathetically as Ava shrank back a step, reacting to the animosity Serena hadn’t completely disguised within the calmness of her voice. Not just calm, Liz amended, cold. Glacially cold. She glanced from Serena to Ava and then back again. She’d been telling Max for two days that they just needed to give Serena a chance to explain herself. Now that the moment was here, she somehow doubted it was going to happen the way she’d planned. “What are you doing here?” she questioned, grateful that her voice was steady even if her nerves were not.
Ava shrugged, keeping her eyes fixed on Serena’s back as she tried to decide if it would be better for her to answer or stay quiet. “We came ta see you,” she finally murmured.
Liz stared. “Me? Why?”
“Figured we may a gotten off on the wrong foot,” Serena muttered dryly. “Thought maybe you could help.”
“Might have gotten off on the wrong foot? That’s the understatement of the year,” Maria muttered, taking an uneasy step back when Serena let out an irritated sigh. “You’re not gonna blow me up now, are you?”
Taking a deep breath and reminding herself that their mistrust wasn’t unexpected...or even unearned, Serena shook her head. “I save my grand dramatic gestures for places like museums an’ such,” she informed Maria lightly.
“We’ve only got the one,” Alex pointed out dryly, nodding across the street.
“Had, actually,” Maria corrected.
“So, I s’pose sayin’ it won’t happen again aint gonna help much, huh?” Serena sighed.
Liz bit her lip, surprised by the small, embarrassed smile that flitted briefly across Serena’s face.
Maria studied the brunette frankly. “What won’t happen again? You blowing up a museum or you trying to kill Michael?” she questioned.
Serena opened her mouth and then closed it again, wondering if there was a right answer to that question.
“She wasn’t tryin’ to kill Michael,” Ava defended uncertainly when Serena didn’t respond. “She thought he was Rath.”
“I don’t care,” Maria replied succinctly. “It was Michael she almost blew up.”
“I am sorry about that,” Serena interrupted before the conversation got away from her. “I didn’ know Rath had a clone othawise I’da made sure it was him before I blasted. Won’t happen again.” She chanced a look at Liz, surprised by the expression of reserved curiosity. It was a stark contrast to Maria and Alex’s clear suspicion.
Liz nodded slowly. “Why do you want to kill Rath?” she asked, wanting to hear the answer from Serena herself. Beyond needing a concrete reason to trust her, Liz wanted to understand how she and someone like Serena could have been friends in that other life.
Serena held Liz’s gaze, well aware that this was going to make or break her. And well aware there was no damn way to sugar coat it for the Little House crowd. Fuck ‘em, she decided, forgetting the last two days of planning in a desperate rush of temper. She raised her chin. “Because Rath’s a murderer and he deserves to die.”
Liz shivered. Serena’s tone was unforgiving, uncaring and laced with a brittleness that should have been out of place. Instead, Liz felt an understanding sympathy tug at her heart while Ava’s words replayed in her head. Because he killed Zan. “This isn’t the way,” she began softly.
Serena’s brows furrowed and she shook her head, nonplussed by the unwelcome show of concern. “It’s the only way,” she contradicted sharply, shoving her hair away from her face. The air in the diner was too thick, suddenly. Too warm.
“You can’t just wander the streets of Roswell trying to kill someone!” Maria burst out.
“Serena, she’s right, you can’t,” Liz interjected. “You’ll draw attention to everybody and…you can’t. There has to be another way,” she said firmly.
Ava swallowed hard and looked at Serena, afraid that the two day reprieve from her temper was finally over. But the explosion she’d been dreading never came. Instead Serena remained strangely quiet, her expression subdued as she…listened to Liz. She hadn’t thought Serena capable of something as mundane as listening. And even though she wasn’t listening to her, if she’d finally decided to be rational then maybe… “Serena, Liz is right. Maybe…”
“Shut it,” Serena ordered Ava softly, beginning to realize that she’d been played. She wasn’t surprised, really, that Ava had brought her here just so her friends could convince her to back off, but she was goddamn tired of the argument. And she’d only just realized that the café wasn’t nearly as big as she’d originally thought. Serena closed her eyes, ignoring Ava’s indignant huff as she tried to order her thoughts enough to placate Liz and get the hell outta this ridiculous diner sooner rather than later. All the alien kitch was making her sick.
Ava drew herself up, glaring at Serena’s back, suddenly sick and tired of everyone taking out their frustration on her. She looked at Liz, and then Maria and Alex, buoyed by their clear sympathy. “This isn’t just your decision. I’m part of this, too and I don’t think we should...”
“I don’t care what you think,” Serena pointed out, wishing someone would open the damn door. She hadn’t felt this closed-in in years.
Ava raised her chin defiantly. “Fine,” she snapped. “Don’t listen ta me. But what ‘bout Zan? You think he’d want you doing this?” She questioned silkily, feeling a small thrill of triumph at Serena’s painful gasp.
“Don’t you dare tell me what Zan wants,” Serena said, her voice dangerously soft as she gave Ava her full attention. “You aint in any position to tell me anythin’ ‘bout Zan.”
Ava swallowed hard, grateful that she wasn’t facing Serena alone. “Why you snappin’ at me? God, Serena you aint the only one that lost him,” she pointed out in soft frustration. And then she took a step back, recognizing her mistake in Serena’s darkly incredulous expression.
Liz froze, almost holding her breath as she watched something other than cool aloofness dust Serena’s features. Uneasily she realized that she should have called Max before now.
Serena took a deep breath. And then another as forty eight hours trying to control a waking nightmare began to gnaw at the last fraying rope of her sanity. Lost him? She wasn’t fucking serious! “Lost him?” Serena questioned derisively. “Lost him? You got some nerve talkin’ bout what you ‘lost’. Lemme remind you a somethin’ Cotton Candy. I lost him. You threw him away. Unda a truck ta be ‘xact, so like I said, shut it. I aint got the patience for your grievin’ widow act today,” she bit out, ignoring Maria’s horrified expression and Liz’s indignant gasp. Fuck what they thought of her. Fuck this whole ridiculous plan. Fuck everything, she thought, without any real rancor. She just wanted this over with. Didn’t even really care how anymore.
Ava flinched as if she’d been struck and took another hasty step back, unable to look away from Serena’s unforgiving blue eyes. She’d always known, but to hear it…she shook her head, hating her tears even more than Serena did.
Liz stared, shocked by the malice of the attack. There was no doubt in her mind that Serena had known exactly what she was saying and what it would do to Ava. Rushing to the blonde alien’s side, Liz glared at the brunette. “Leave her alone,” she hissed. “You don’t understand…”
“No,” Serena interrupted coldly, turning her attention to Liz. “I don’t. I don’t undastand the fractured fairy tale she insists on livin in an’ I don’t undastand how his death became her tragedy,” she muttered in disgust. She swallowed hard as the reality of her own words rang in her ears. His death. His death. His death…Serena could feel the walls constricting around her and struggled against the desperate urge to run. From everything.
“Liz, it’s awright, just let it go,” Ava rushed out, wiping at her eyes. Pushing Serena into defending her bitterness wasn’t an option, not when she was unwilling to test Liz’s friendship. After today Liz’s friendship might be all she had left.
But Liz had already subsided, shocked into forgetting her temper by the tears that glittered in Serena’s eyes. “Who was he to you?” Liz asked, before she could think better of it. “You came to me, remember?” she pressed, when Serena looked away. She shrugged helplessly. “I want to help, but…”
Serena took a deep breath, barely aware of meeting Liz’s forthright gaze as she wondered how one goddamn question could hurt so much. It may have been a testament to her exhaustion, but she almost believed that the other girl did want to help. Once again the unexpected show of compassion galled her, shamed her and she found herself fighting harder to control months of unshed tears. “Everything,” she said, her voice a bare whisper and too weak in her own ears. Her mouth twisted briefly in self disgust and she cleared her throat, matching Liz’s blunt perusal and daring her to say another word. “Zan was everythin’ to me,” she clarified defiantly.
Liz nodded, her heart aching in sudden commiseration. Serena had been in love with him, she realized, and losing him had devastated her. It was clear in the familiar despair that colored the other girls wide eyed gaze, lending a desperate fragility to her whole expression. She could cover it in all the anger she wanted to but Liz couldn’t help but recognize the yawning emptiness that animated her every move. “Right,” Liz breathed out, looking uneasily at Ava. “Right.”
“Look, I aint here to argue,” Serena said, pressing a tired hand to her temple. God, why did everything have to be so fucking difficult?
Liz nodded, as unwilling as Serena suddenly appeared to be for this to degenerate into a fight. “So why are you here?” she ventured.
Serena took a moment to regain her control, beyond grateful for the shift in conversation. Maybe the cosmos had finally decided to cut her some slack. “Ava said you’re the one ta talk ta if we wanna smooth things ova wit’ the…king,”
“You want me to…smooth things over with Max?” Liz asked.
Serena took a deep breath. “Yeah,” she repeated numbly. “Max.”
Liz exhaled slowly as the tension began to ease. Even Maria seemed more inclined to compassion now that Serena was actually talking. She sent a cautious glance across the street and chewed her lip indecisively. She was unwilling to break the sudden truce, but she had to let Max know something was going on. Before he figured it out for himself, if he hadn’t already. “I’ve got to go…check the kitchen,” she said lamely. “Just…talk to Alex for a second.”
“Thanks, Liz,” Alex muttered, looking desperately at Maria for an acceptable topic of conversation.
Serena raised her brows, watching Liz hurry back through the swinging door before she turned to look at Alex. “Check the kitchen?” she inquired sardonically. She didn’t even care about his answer, she just needed a few more seconds to get her control back, maybe convince herself that the room wasn’t closing in on her and she wasn’t about to be crushed between two garishly painted alien murals. She took a deep breath, and then reminded herself to exhale.
Alex opened his mouth, then closed it again. Then opened it. “I, uh…why’d you burn down a morgue?” He swallowed, his throat closing as Serena’s blue eyes narrowed on him. Never go with the first thing that pops into your head, he thought to himself, never go with the first thing that pops into your head… “I, I just meant…people are curious, you know? A morgue?”
Serena shivered involuntarily, fighting the memory that wanted to disrupt her brittle self control. Cold rooms and cold tables and even colder touches…she shook her head sharply. “Didn’t do it,” she said flatly, casting a longing glance behind her at the door. She needed to get the hell out of here. Soon.
Maria rolled her eyes. “Look, Alex ran a background check. We know all about it so you can stop lying.”
Alex closed his eyes, wishing desperately to be somewhere other than here. “Thanks, Maria,” he muttered under his breath, opening his eyes to Serena’s penetrating gaze.
“Background check, huh?” Serena asked, almost gratefully. This kinda shit she could deal with. “I’m almost impressed. How long’d it take to get inta the police database?”
Alex relaxed, surprised that Serena seemed to be taking the news in stride. “Half hour,” he said modestly.
“Mmmm. Like I said, almost impressed,” Serena said dismissively, turning once again to the alien mural on the wall. Her brows drew together and she shook her head, caught somewhere between amusement and disgust.
Alex’s eyes narrowed, his discomfort forgotten at her insult. “Excuse…you’re almo…oh, really?” he sputtered. “And how long would it take you?”
“First off, I’d neva do somethin’ like that. It’d be wrong,” Serena said, her expression dramatically innocent as she returned her attention to Alex. “An’ secon’ it’d neva take me half a fuckin’ hour.”
Maria cleared her throat, interrupting Alex’s indignation. “I don’t think the point is how long it took him, the point is that you burned down a morgue,” she pointed out.
Serena gritted her teeth. Read the fuckin’ report, damn it. “Actchally,” she corrected sweetly. “I was questioned. An’ I had a alibi so no charges were filed. If your checkin’ was all that, you’da found that out.”
“You may have had an alibi but the detective didn’t think someone running an auto stripping ring was all that reliable,” Alex replied dryly.
“But he couldn’t prove othawise, now could he?” Serena mocked.
Ava rolled her eyes. “An’ this is her bein’ nice.”
“Shut it,” Serena muttered, glaring Ava once again into silence before she glanced impatiently at the swinging door leading to the back of the café.
Maria’s brows drew together at the byplay. She looked at Ava, who had silently settled herself in the booth across from the counter and then Serena, who was ignoring Ava and watching the swinging door through narrowed eyes. “Don’t take this the wrong way but…how the hell did you two end up working together?”
Serena glanced at Ava. “Bad karma,” she muttered.
********************
“UFO Center, may I help you?”
Liz exhaled slowly, her anxiety dwindling to a memory as Max’s warm tone washed over her. He was being completely professional, but somehow just hearing his voice seemed to settle her nerves. “It’s me,” she said softly.
“Hey.” Max smiled, relaxing into his chair as the nagging sense of uneasiness he’d been fighting faded to the back of his mind. And then he straightened, tensing with the realization that she wouldn’t be calling in the middle of the day unless something was wrong. “What’s going on?”
“Ok, Max do not…”
“Has that ever worked?” Max interrupted, his voice tight.
Liz shook her head silently. Here goes nothing. “Serena and Ava just walked in the door,” she blurted. “But…”
“I’ll be right there.”
Liz stared at the phone gone dead in her hand. “Thanks for not freaking out,” she muttered, glancing up as the back door opened, then closed and Michael swept past her on his way to the kitchen. She threw the phone back on the hook and made a mad grab for his t-shirt, hoping to catch him before he could look through the order window.
“What the…” Michael froze and turned to Liz as he pointed at the pass-through. “What the hell is she doing here?” he asked, jerking his shirt from Liz’s fingers and heading for the front without waiting for a reply.
