Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 12:29 pm
hey everyone. Here we are, the final part, I should say the final parts, cause like I said it was long and I should cut it in 2 parts.
I hope you'll like it, I hope you'll find the answers you were looking for, I'm a little scared to deceive you, that's what I said to Emz80m, who corrected these parts and the previous one. I hope you won't be disappointed. But like I said, if you're not convinced, if you still have questions, I'll write another one or I'll create another form of epilogue to explain why I wrote this and that.
I wanted to thank you all for reading and supporting that fic, I took a real pleasure to write it and to come here to reply to all of you. You made me laugh, you made me get in my nerves but you always made my heart melted when I read your fbs. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. It's very important for me to thank each of you cause you always were here for me.
Believe me, I can reply to your fbs very easily now, I know each of your names and signatures.
I was very proud to work with Bixie and Emz80m, they teached me a lot. I hope I'll keep in mind all their corrections and I'll use them one day.
It's not my last farewell since I have some fics to finish but I think that it's time for me to take a step back and see if it's worth to continue to write or stop to annoy people with my crazy mind. I don't say that to act like a "tragedian!
, but I know my limits. We'll see.....
OK, let's go to the replies.
icequeen - I don't think that it took them to almost die, Liz always knew that she was loving him, her inability to resist him was a proof. and for Max, he knew in the bottom of his heart that he loved her, but he was unable to express that love....Thank you for your support.
Liz86000- I think that if you read well this part, you'll know why he's not able to express his love. Liz, like I said above, I'll be there to answer every question you'll have after that part, and I hope I've explained everything in this part. Thank you for your support
anonymousarfan- thank you, I hope these parts will shower your wait. Thank you for your support.
Strawberry88- I hope my explanation will please you. if not, please just tell me. Thank you for your support.
Lizza- I'm here. Thank you for your support
Bixie - Sandra, this fic is over, you most than anyone knew how hard it was for me to write it. I was very happy to work with you on it and sorry for all the problems I gave you. Sandra, Liz was not crazy. She didn't know what Max was feeling for her, she was certain that he forced her to marry for bad reasons. I hope you'll like the end.
LIZamaMax- Sara, I think that all things have an end and this fic is coming to the end. You know that I'll send you some chemists chapters soon. Thank you for your support.
googi- whaou, another Max's fan. Mady, I think that when you'll read those parts, you'll say.......thank you for your support.
FamersAmers- Amy, I hope I answered to your wait in this part. But talking about Max, he is as hurt as she is...but it's not real life, it's just a fic...thank you for your support.
begonia9508- thank you, I don't know if it was a compliment in your mouth but I took it like a compliment. Eve, I really hope that I answered at your wait in those parts. (I'm sorry for your ex-huby fortunately, we're not in RL here.) thank you for your support.
g7silvers- No he had any idea, except that she hated him. And Liz's fears are uncontrolable, I think that it's mostly because she doesn't know what he feels for her. An epilogue? I still don't know.... thank you for your support.
Coccy- I would say ditto with Sara...thank you for your support.
0megaRam1- no, I think she always knew it, the anger just took the best of her for a long while. hope you'll like this part. thank you for your support.
out of this world- thank you Carol for your support.
Liz86000- thank you for the BUMP. talk to you soon
Emz80m- No, it was impossible for me to kill one of them, I love them to much. I hope that you'll take Max's side at the end, no? I'll see. Emma, once again, thank you for sharing your time with me, I know it was not easy. I was very proud to work with you. Thank you for your support.
Like I said, it's not a real farewell since I have 3 fics WIP, I hope to update MARRIAGE soon and REVENGE too. And for A TIME TO FORGIVE, my muse left me for this fic, but I don't like to leave something unfinished. I promise that I'll do it soon.
So, here are the chapters.
Chapter 20
Liz felt like an iron hand was crushing her heart. So he had finally decided to let her go! Everything they had shared until now would end. Their short marriage would no longer exist.
WHY? Why was he willing to release her now? It wasn’t because he didn't want her anymore, she was certain of that. So it could be because he thought that she hated him.
"Max, I..." she began softly
"I think I’ll just go outside and see how the weather is" Michael said embarrassed "I'm sure you don't need me right now."
As soon as he closed the door, Max began to talk without glancing at her "After you eat and pack your things, Michael will take you with him to Boston and you'll be able to get a plane to Roswell from there."
Liz wondered what Michael knew, probably not the complete truth. Max should have just told him about his plans for her to leave with him, it was obvious that Michael was worried and embarrassed. She straightened herself to contain her trembling voice "Is that Michael or your decision?" she asked.
"Mine"
Liz knew that she had to fight "Okay. Since I'm your wife, I think I should have a say in that decision and the right to tell you what I'm thinking about that decision. You are the worst dictator I've ever seen, the most arrogant and the most macho of all men. Do you think that I'm stupid? If I wanted to go back to Roswell, don't you think that I could do it by myself? And I've got news for you.....I have no intention of going back to Roswell. I’m staying here. My place is here. Even the devil himself couldn't chase me away." she cried out
Max didn't move an inch, he acted as though her speech had no effect on him. But she saw his jaw get tense and that gave her the courage she needed to continue "Max, YOU wanted this honeymoon and now your giving up because of some bruised ribs. Don't you know that a wife’s place is beside her husband?" she asked.
She licked her lips seductively and added "Even if her husband is not in the best shape....."
She just finished talking when Michael walked back inside the hut "The weather is good, we can use the plane now." he said with a smile. But he was still uncomfortable.
Liz stood up "I'm sorry Michael but I’m not coming with you. Sorry, if I inconvenienced you or you waited for nothing..." she said
"Don’t worry about it!" he said relieved before turning and smiling happily. "I told the dumb ass that you would refuse, but he thought that you wanted to leave after what happened."
"He was wrong!" Liz replied with challenge in her eyes when she looked at Max.
He wrapped her his good arm around her shoulders "If that’s what you want, honey. I just hope that you won't change your mind after Michael's departure"
Liz listened to the unspoken threat in his words, but she refused to allow his words to scare her "I wont!"
"In that case, I'm leaving now." Michael said. "I'll come and visit you in Roswell when your back there. If you want me to come of course" he added laughing.
"We'll be more than happy to see you there, Michael" Liz said genuinely.
And all of sudden, she stood up and hugged him.
"Maybe you'd be kind enough to help your disabled husband?" Max asked.
She held out her hand and helped him to stand up. Together they walked out of the hut to say good bye to Michael.
After the little plane had disappeared into the sky, Liz shivered, not only because of the fresh air. She felt Max's anger and guessed that he'd make her pay for her behaviour now that Michael was gone.
"Are you cold?" he asked ironically. "Let's go inside and see what I can do to warm you up." he added glancing at her.
They walked back inside the hut and when she glanced back she heard him lock the door. "Did you lock me in?"
"I doubt that locking you in is enough. You’ve already proved how easily you can flee, honey. But for some reason now you choose to stay, don't you?" he said and grabbed her arm.
He pushed her down on the couch roughly, she fell down looking at him with a mix of surprise and fear in her eyes. He sat down beside her blocking her from leaving.
Sliding his hand behind the nape of her neck, he caressed her softly, then gripping her hair, he threw her head back and kissed her, without tenderness or passion, but roughly like he wanted to frighten her.
She chose to keep silent and give in to what he wanted, she knew he would be surprised. But when he began to undress her slowly, as if he was thinking about the way he could hurt her, she understood that he wanted to frighten her. Her heart was racing.
When she was naked, he caressed her with his fingertips, but she was still remaining silent, frozen by his daring touch and her own reaction.
Eventually, she tried to push him away, but he reacted at once "If I were you, I wouldn't move, Honey. Unless you really want me to hurt you..."
All of sudden, she was terrified by his sadism, she whispered "Max...stop that....please"
He forced her to look at him "Do you regret your choice? You wanted to stay here, didn’t you?" he asked
"Yes, I wanted to stay here and no, I don't regret my choice." she said proudly despite her fear.
He took off the scarf which was holding his wounded arm and Liz’s fear grew. Not because he could hurt her, she was scared that he could hurt himself "NO! Don't do that...I'll do what ever you want..." she exclaimed
"Because you're scared of me?. You're scared to death..." he said with contempt for himself in his voice.
*Because I love you* she thought. Instead, she replied "Because I'm your wife and I want to make love with you."
"Are you sure you won't find that too degrading?" he asked bitterly
And suddenly, he moved away from her. After a while, she heard the door slamming behind Max. She was trembling as she redressed and then she went to the kitchen to make some coffee.
She noticed that the keys for the Cherokee were still there with the map. But she was determined to stay, to fight for her happiness, even if it was just for a week.
After she drank her coffee, she went to the guest-room, she took off the sheets from the bed and put them in the laundry basket. Then, she returned to the kitchen to cook something for dinner.
As the time went by she tried not to worry about him and a long while later , she was relieved to hear the door open. Cuddled in the armchair by the fireplace, she hadn't switched on the light and he walked into the dark room
"Liz? Liz?" he called worried
When she answered he sighed and asked "Why are you sitting in the dark?"
"I like watching the fire in the dark."
She watched him walk around the room and light all the candles, and as he lit the last one she saw that he was really shocked. Suddenly, she realized that, seeing the car in the same place but the hut in darkness worried him, he thought that something very serious could have happened to her, or she could have attempt something against herself.
Lightly, she said "I've already told you that I had no intention of committing suicide. By the way, are you hungry, I cooked a roast its in the oven."
"Liz....I..."
"I don't know about you but I'm starved." she said not wanting to let him talk.
By instinct, she knew that he had lost his balance. He was expecting everything else but this, this light and natural attitude. *He seemed tired and overwhelmed by a feeling of defeat* she thought when she looked at his face.
She realized that she was not the only one who had suffered in this situation, he had had a lot of sorrow too; he had lost the woman he loved and the woman he wanted almost killed them by trying to leave him.
She tried to talk a little but as he didn't reply the dinner was silent. As soon as he drank his coffee, he finally spoke. "We need to sleep. Do you want to use the bathroom first?"
Disappointed, Liz hoped that they could spend the evening talking by the fireplace, they needed to talk. Yet, she obeyed. When she came back, she found Max looking at the fire, sadly. She resisted the yearning to hug him and to comfort him. "Your turn" she said with the brightest smile she could send him.
He disappeared without a word and she sat down near the fireplace instead of going to sleep. He came back, dressed with a bathrobe, bare feet and his hair wet. He switched off the lights, leaving just one near the bed. "Do you want me to take care of the fire?" he asked abruptly.
"I'm not tired. I'd like to sit here a while again."
Instead of joining her, he walked towards the guest-room slamming the door behind him. But he came back at once, angry "What do you want? Do you want to know how far you can go with me?"
"Of course not."
"But I could say that you're looking to cause trouble!"
"NO. I only want a chance to prove my feelings."
"I don't want your gratitude!"
"I'm glad because you won't have it. You saved my life but I did the same for you. I don't owe you anything Max. But why is it so bad to want to sleep with my husband?" she asked daring.
"48 hours ago, you said that being my wife was making you miserable...and now you would like to make me think that you’ve changed your mind because of what happened this afternoon!"
"This afternoon made me realize that life is too short to be spoiled, that I have to enjoy the happiness since it's still possible. You want me and...."
"You're wrong. I don't want you!" he cut her off.
Those words hurt her a lot. Shocked, she kept silent for a while, then always daring "I don't believe you! If you didn't want me, why did you force me to marry you?"
"I think its time to show you something." he said and then he walked to the desk in the corner of the room, searched and came back with a sealed envelope that he handed to her.
THE EXPLANATION.
She opened it with trembling fingers and was surprised when she opened it, she acknowledged her father's hand writing immediately.
**My dearest Liz,
If you are reading this I assume that you finally know the truth. Max promised to tell you everything. I hope you're not too angry with me if I forced you. I had hoped that you'd understand who Sean really was and that you'd break up your engagement on your own.
When I saw that you kept wanting to marry him, I tried to find a way to end the engagement. I was scared to death that you'd be determined to do it if I were against the project openly, because you're so stubborn.
With Max, we eventually found a solution, it was hard and there was the chance we could fail, but I was desperate and I wanted to try all the same. I would never forgive myself if I had let you spoil your life with a man you never loved.
I wanted Max to take this letter with him to show you that this was MY IDEA and that he helped me without wanting to. He was scared I think that you could hate him.
He told me what happened between you when you first met and he told me something else but I'm sure you know that now.
I would have explained to you the situation with Serena but he forbade me. He wanted you to trust him and you not wanting to listen to him was killing him.
Max is proud and stubborn, he didn't like to ask or beg. I've always acknowledged that, if you loved him, that it would be YOU who had to surrender. And I was positive he wouldn’t have been able to seduce you, if you didn't love him.
I was happy when you told me that you loved him at your wedding.
I've always wanted you to be happy, Liz. I know that Max loves you and that he'll make you happy.
Your father who loves you forever.
Jeff**
Shocked, Liz read the letter again before she could finally understand what her father did. *Dad, you've always wanted to protect me. You tried to make me break up an unhappy wedding.*
She looked up at Max and saw that he was devouring her with his eyes. His face was in the darkness and she couldn't read him.
"So what was all this then?" she asked softly.
"Doesn't he tell you in his letter?"
"No"
"Oh...I agreed to pretend that I'd ruin him if you didn't marry me."
"So you didn't invest money in the company!"
"I did, but not that much. I wouldn't own it even if I wanted to."
"And our house? Do you own it?" she asked again waiting in bated breath for his answer.
"NO"
Liz tries to understand "Why in the hell, did you agree to go along with this ridiculous plan?" she asked still dumbfounded.
"Your father was desperate and I didn't want to see you married to another man....." he said looking at her uncertain if he should continue, but he did "I shouldn't have pushed you the way that I did and I should have listened to my heart before acting the way I did."
"I would have married Sean if you didn't do it."
"From you’ve said about how you feel about this marriage I think that would have been better"
"NO." Liz denied.
Max blushed "You always cause me to say and do things that I regret later. I....I'm sorry Liz. I've never had any intention of hurting you. I've continued to hope for a miracle, for things to work out between us."
He turned around to put a log in the fire in an attempt to hide his feelings "You should go to bed Liz"
"You...Don't you want to come with me?" she asked anxiously
"I'll take the couch."
"And then?"
"If you can drive, we'll go back to Boston tomorrow and then to Roswell."
"And then?"
"As soon as I talk to Jeff, I'll come back to Boston leaving you to live your life like you want" he said sadly.
Fighting to restrain her tears, she asked "Don't you have to take care of the company? Or maybe that was all part of the plan too."
"No, that wasn't. He wants to reduce his activities. He told me that but he might change his mind. If not, Michael would be happy to work with him. And you'll be there to help him."
"I don't want to work again. I'd prefer to be a wife. I want children."
She saw him stiffen. "I'd like to have a man in my life, and to be simply happy."
With the light of the fire, she saw a gleam blazing in his look : fear. He seemed desperate and hurt.
"Then...the best thing I could do for you is to give you a divorce." he said dying little by little with every word he spoke.
"That's not Dad's opinion. Do you want me to read what he said?" she asked and she handed him the letter.
She watched him the entire time he read the letter, then he looked up "I don't want a divorce. I agree with my father" she stated.
"Don't be stupid. We are very attracted one another sexually but that's not enough to stay married to each other forever."
"But I love you. I told my father as much."
"Liz, you couldn't tell him the real truth since it was your wedding day!"
"THAT was the truth Max. I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. And I never stopped loving you."
"Liz, I thought that I was right to want things to work out between us. When I asked you if you loved me, you said *love you, me? I despise you! If you were drowning in the lake, I wouldn't help you!"
"I didn't mean a word of that. I couldn't admit that I was still loving a man who only wanted to use me" she said walking toward him.
She grabbed his good hand and looked at him in his eyes "When we were in the stream, I knew that if you died, I would die too." she said genuinely.
He stared at her, searching her eyes to find if she was telling him the truth. Then growling, he pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly against his chest, he kissed her tenderly, passionately, pouring all his love for her into the kisses.
Then he pulled away and wiped the tears that were flowing down her cheeks. "I couldn't bear the idea of you married to Sean." he confessed. "If you loved him, if he was different...I would have stayed away from you...even if. Then I was certain that I was wrong. You always said to me that you hated me! I was trying to convince myself that you didn't think that really, but..."
"Maax! I was not thinking what I said. I tried to hate you, I wanted to hate you because you had seduced me while you were engaged to someone else..."
"Poor Serena...She...."
"I don't want to know about Serena, that's the past." she cut him off softly. “All I want to know is if you love me..."
"I love you" Max said kissing her reverently "I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, Liz. I fell in love with you the first time I saw you at the airport. I was so madly in love with you when we were in the hut last year, that all I wanted was to stay with you forever." he said kissing her again.
"And now...you...."
"I'm completely craz
y about you Liz. You driven me crazy since I met you. You know I came back to Roswell. I wanted to tell you about Serena,.. Liz, my love...I want to tell you about Serena." he said seriously.
She nodded unable to talk, holding her breath whilst he began to talk about Serena. "Serena was Michael's sister..." he began
*That's why I thought that Michael's face and smile was familiar to me* she thought.
"We grew up together, the three of us. Serena was like my little sister, but when she was 16 years old, she began to change, I mean, she was shy in front of me. Michael told me that she had a crush on me and that it would pass...and when I finished high school that was over. At least, I thought it was over but in truth she just knew how to hide her feelings well. It was later on that I found out that she was still in love with me. I've told you that Michael's parents died in a car crash, haven't I?"
Cuddled against his chest, Liz nodded silently.
"A few months after the accident, Serena got sick. The first tests showed that she had cancer, Michael wanted to hide this from her because he knew that she should fight the illness. She had to have further tests to find the severity of the cancer and find out if she should endure a painful treatment. Since he knew that Serena was in love with me, he begged me to help her, and I did it with all my heart, I had no one important in my life then. That's how I proposed to Serena." he paused trying to see her reaction, but Liz kept silent.
He continued "Liz, a few days after I proposed to Serena, we met. At first sight, I knew that you were the one for me, that you were the woman I'd been waiting all my life for. I had decided to tell Serena about you if the tests came back negative. I couldn't dare to think what I would be compelled to do if they didn’t. Liz when I asked you to come with me to Maine, I had no intention of trying to seduce you, believe me. But you have this talent to make me loose my mind and I knew deep in my heart that I should tell you the truth and yet I couldn't stop and postpone the moment. I was terrified of your reaction." he said sadly. He paused again but then again but Liz didn't move she was captivated by his words.
Seeing that she wasn't going to say anything, he carried on. "Then you met Serena and you found out about our engagement before I could talk to you. I reached the airport barely 10 minutes after your plane took off. Without me knowing, Serena did some tests while she was in New York and the results arrived 48 hours after your departure, they were positive. Serena wanted to release me. I refused. You would never know how hard that had been for me to push away the temptation, I wanted to come to Roswell, to apologize and to explain everything to you. I wanted to come and marry you and spend my life with you. But I had a debt with the Guerin’s and I couldn't let Serena down or Michael. A month later, she entered the hospital. She fought hard against the illness, but she had no chance of winning.
We got married in the hospital, I remember her bright smile that day, her dream was coming true, and she died a few days later. The last thing she told me was "I was lucky to have you. Thank you for the happiness you gave me. When I pass away, I want you to find a woman who'll make you happy someone like your cousin, she told me surprisingly. But when I found the strength to come to see you, you were already engaged to Sean and I had no right to interfere in your life anymore." he said, his throat dry from all the emotion.
He stopped talking and lifted her chin softly, there were tears in her eyes "Liz, I don't want to see you sad, even Michael would be shocked. He thinks that life is a love song”
"I can't help but feel sorry for Serena, for Michael, for you. But Max, why did you act towards me the way you have since you came back?" she inquired. She had to know.
"Liz, I was madly in love with you and you fled from me over and over when I came to tell you everything. Later, your father told me about your engagement. I was jealous, I was furious. I couldn't bear to see you with another man, let alone that Sean person. He didn't love you like I loved you and you were pushing me away." he said passionately.
"And you wanted to make me pay, even threaten me...."
"I've never threatened you Liz!" he cut her off "You always believed that I was some kind of monster who wanted to tear you down. But you're right, I've told that I was only interested in your body. I think that I would have told you anything because I was feeling hurt."
"HURT? Max, you forced me to marry you. Ok, so that was my father's idea, but you did force me and you frightened me. Remember when we came here, when we were at the restaurant, in the mall even on our first night here. Can you tell me why you acted like this with me?" she insisted again.
"Liz...I knew that I was wrong to not tell you the truth when we met. But that day, the day you gave yourself to me for the first time, your first time.....that was like you giving me your life. I mean in my heart you belonged to me, and only me. I didn't think that you would leave me. In my mind, you had no right to leave me. I didn't tell you the truth, that was my fault but I was denying you the right to move away from me. I know it was irrational but I couldn't help feeling that way. You were supposed to wait for me and listen to my explanation..." he said huskily.
"But Max, even if I hadn’t fled that day, Serena was very sick and you promised her to marry her. We would never have had the opportunity to get together. That was like fate or destiny or something, I don’t know what But you were engaged to her, that why I had to leave." she said fervently
"If you had told me the truth, I would have fled regardless. I wouldn't have been able to bear staying with you, you were meant to be with Serena. Knowing the truth, I'm happy that she was so happy in the last moments of her life." she said and tears were swimming in her eyes again.
"Liz...Could you forgive my madness? My excuse was that I was loved you too much and I was full of myself and stubborn in the same time. You were mine, you have to come with me. No man could have you but me. That's all that I can say to you. Liz, Love, I beg you to forgive me. I'll try to improve my behaviour, to be less jealous and possessive if you agree to stay with me" he begged and tears were flowing down his cheeks.
He had handed her his pride, he loved this woman more than life itself, he was not ashamed to grovel and beg her to forgive and accept him. He couldn't bear to live a minute without her anymore, she was his oxygen, his life.
She looked at him, staring deep in his eyes to see if he was really sincere this time. And yes, he was laying himself and his feelings "naked" in front of her.
He told her everything, he begged and grovelled to her to forgive him and there was no way she couldn't not accept his apology and stay with him.
She loved this man so much. "Max you won't act the way you have since we came here anymore will you? I mean, no more violence, no more fear, do you swear it to me?" she asked looking him in the eyes
"Liz, I was a fool. I wanted to hurt you because I was hurt. I've told you that I lost my mother at 11years old, without Mrs Guerin to help me and to love me, I would have been a street urchin and later Philip adopted me and made a man of me, but something was still always missing in my life, or someone. I found it when I met you and I've been over possessive with you. I couldn't tolerate that you could think about someone else, I couldn't accept that you would want to leave me. You were mine and only mine. Liz, please...forgive me!" he said bending his head ashamed of what he did to her.
Liz turned around toward him and cupped his face. "Max, do you love me?" she asked
"With all my heart and my soul Liz and I always will." he swore.
"That's all that’s important to me," she said
"If I wasn't injured, I would prove it to you at once..." he said with a bright smile.
"I could help you.....if you want me..."
"I WANT YOU!!" he cut her off passionately and he pulled her against his chest and swooped down on her lips. He ravished her mouth, duelling with her tongue.
Her moans were driving him crazy. He loved her so much, she made his body stir to life and she made his heart swell with happiness.
After a while, they pulled apart but Max stayed with his forehead pressed against hers. "Max, that's not what I wanted to tell you" she said with mischievous look
"If you want me to help you....you'll be able to show me how much you love me...." she explained blushing.
He stood up and held out his valid hand to her and took it, they walked to the bed. "Come on my love, I'm going to show you"
When they were under the blankets, Max pulled her against his chest "Liz....I love you, I always will."
"Me too Max." she said wrapping her hands around his neck.
"Now let me show you how much I love you...I swear to you, you won't ever forget tonight!”
THE END........................
I hope you'll like it, I hope you'll find the answers you were looking for, I'm a little scared to deceive you, that's what I said to Emz80m, who corrected these parts and the previous one. I hope you won't be disappointed. But like I said, if you're not convinced, if you still have questions, I'll write another one or I'll create another form of epilogue to explain why I wrote this and that.
I wanted to thank you all for reading and supporting that fic, I took a real pleasure to write it and to come here to reply to all of you. You made me laugh, you made me get in my nerves but you always made my heart melted when I read your fbs. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. It's very important for me to thank each of you cause you always were here for me.
Believe me, I can reply to your fbs very easily now, I know each of your names and signatures.
I was very proud to work with Bixie and Emz80m, they teached me a lot. I hope I'll keep in mind all their corrections and I'll use them one day.
It's not my last farewell since I have some fics to finish but I think that it's time for me to take a step back and see if it's worth to continue to write or stop to annoy people with my crazy mind. I don't say that to act like a "tragedian!
, but I know my limits. We'll see.....OK, let's go to the replies.
icequeen - I don't think that it took them to almost die, Liz always knew that she was loving him, her inability to resist him was a proof. and for Max, he knew in the bottom of his heart that he loved her, but he was unable to express that love....Thank you for your support.
Liz86000- I think that if you read well this part, you'll know why he's not able to express his love. Liz, like I said above, I'll be there to answer every question you'll have after that part, and I hope I've explained everything in this part. Thank you for your support
anonymousarfan- thank you, I hope these parts will shower your wait. Thank you for your support.
Strawberry88- I hope my explanation will please you. if not, please just tell me. Thank you for your support.
Lizza- I'm here. Thank you for your support
Bixie - Sandra, this fic is over, you most than anyone knew how hard it was for me to write it. I was very happy to work with you on it and sorry for all the problems I gave you. Sandra, Liz was not crazy. She didn't know what Max was feeling for her, she was certain that he forced her to marry for bad reasons. I hope you'll like the end.
LIZamaMax- Sara, I think that all things have an end and this fic is coming to the end. You know that I'll send you some chemists chapters soon. Thank you for your support.
googi- whaou, another Max's fan. Mady, I think that when you'll read those parts, you'll say.......thank you for your support.
FamersAmers- Amy, I hope I answered to your wait in this part. But talking about Max, he is as hurt as she is...but it's not real life, it's just a fic...thank you for your support.
begonia9508- thank you, I don't know if it was a compliment in your mouth but I took it like a compliment. Eve, I really hope that I answered at your wait in those parts. (I'm sorry for your ex-huby fortunately, we're not in RL here.) thank you for your support.
g7silvers- No he had any idea, except that she hated him. And Liz's fears are uncontrolable, I think that it's mostly because she doesn't know what he feels for her. An epilogue? I still don't know.... thank you for your support.
Coccy- I would say ditto with Sara...thank you for your support.
0megaRam1- no, I think she always knew it, the anger just took the best of her for a long while. hope you'll like this part. thank you for your support.
out of this world- thank you Carol for your support.
Liz86000- thank you for the BUMP. talk to you soon
Emz80m- No, it was impossible for me to kill one of them, I love them to much. I hope that you'll take Max's side at the end, no? I'll see. Emma, once again, thank you for sharing your time with me, I know it was not easy. I was very proud to work with you. Thank you for your support.
Like I said, it's not a real farewell since I have 3 fics WIP, I hope to update MARRIAGE soon and REVENGE too. And for A TIME TO FORGIVE, my muse left me for this fic, but I don't like to leave something unfinished. I promise that I'll do it soon.
So, here are the chapters.
Chapter 20
Liz felt like an iron hand was crushing her heart. So he had finally decided to let her go! Everything they had shared until now would end. Their short marriage would no longer exist.
WHY? Why was he willing to release her now? It wasn’t because he didn't want her anymore, she was certain of that. So it could be because he thought that she hated him.
"Max, I..." she began softly
"I think I’ll just go outside and see how the weather is" Michael said embarrassed "I'm sure you don't need me right now."
As soon as he closed the door, Max began to talk without glancing at her "After you eat and pack your things, Michael will take you with him to Boston and you'll be able to get a plane to Roswell from there."
Liz wondered what Michael knew, probably not the complete truth. Max should have just told him about his plans for her to leave with him, it was obvious that Michael was worried and embarrassed. She straightened herself to contain her trembling voice "Is that Michael or your decision?" she asked.
"Mine"
Liz knew that she had to fight "Okay. Since I'm your wife, I think I should have a say in that decision and the right to tell you what I'm thinking about that decision. You are the worst dictator I've ever seen, the most arrogant and the most macho of all men. Do you think that I'm stupid? If I wanted to go back to Roswell, don't you think that I could do it by myself? And I've got news for you.....I have no intention of going back to Roswell. I’m staying here. My place is here. Even the devil himself couldn't chase me away." she cried out
Max didn't move an inch, he acted as though her speech had no effect on him. But she saw his jaw get tense and that gave her the courage she needed to continue "Max, YOU wanted this honeymoon and now your giving up because of some bruised ribs. Don't you know that a wife’s place is beside her husband?" she asked.
She licked her lips seductively and added "Even if her husband is not in the best shape....."
She just finished talking when Michael walked back inside the hut "The weather is good, we can use the plane now." he said with a smile. But he was still uncomfortable.
Liz stood up "I'm sorry Michael but I’m not coming with you. Sorry, if I inconvenienced you or you waited for nothing..." she said
"Don’t worry about it!" he said relieved before turning and smiling happily. "I told the dumb ass that you would refuse, but he thought that you wanted to leave after what happened."
"He was wrong!" Liz replied with challenge in her eyes when she looked at Max.
He wrapped her his good arm around her shoulders "If that’s what you want, honey. I just hope that you won't change your mind after Michael's departure"
Liz listened to the unspoken threat in his words, but she refused to allow his words to scare her "I wont!"
"In that case, I'm leaving now." Michael said. "I'll come and visit you in Roswell when your back there. If you want me to come of course" he added laughing.
"We'll be more than happy to see you there, Michael" Liz said genuinely.
And all of sudden, she stood up and hugged him.
"Maybe you'd be kind enough to help your disabled husband?" Max asked.
She held out her hand and helped him to stand up. Together they walked out of the hut to say good bye to Michael.
After the little plane had disappeared into the sky, Liz shivered, not only because of the fresh air. She felt Max's anger and guessed that he'd make her pay for her behaviour now that Michael was gone.
"Are you cold?" he asked ironically. "Let's go inside and see what I can do to warm you up." he added glancing at her.
They walked back inside the hut and when she glanced back she heard him lock the door. "Did you lock me in?"
"I doubt that locking you in is enough. You’ve already proved how easily you can flee, honey. But for some reason now you choose to stay, don't you?" he said and grabbed her arm.
He pushed her down on the couch roughly, she fell down looking at him with a mix of surprise and fear in her eyes. He sat down beside her blocking her from leaving.
Sliding his hand behind the nape of her neck, he caressed her softly, then gripping her hair, he threw her head back and kissed her, without tenderness or passion, but roughly like he wanted to frighten her.
She chose to keep silent and give in to what he wanted, she knew he would be surprised. But when he began to undress her slowly, as if he was thinking about the way he could hurt her, she understood that he wanted to frighten her. Her heart was racing.
When she was naked, he caressed her with his fingertips, but she was still remaining silent, frozen by his daring touch and her own reaction.
Eventually, she tried to push him away, but he reacted at once "If I were you, I wouldn't move, Honey. Unless you really want me to hurt you..."
All of sudden, she was terrified by his sadism, she whispered "Max...stop that....please"
He forced her to look at him "Do you regret your choice? You wanted to stay here, didn’t you?" he asked
"Yes, I wanted to stay here and no, I don't regret my choice." she said proudly despite her fear.
He took off the scarf which was holding his wounded arm and Liz’s fear grew. Not because he could hurt her, she was scared that he could hurt himself "NO! Don't do that...I'll do what ever you want..." she exclaimed
"Because you're scared of me?. You're scared to death..." he said with contempt for himself in his voice.
*Because I love you* she thought. Instead, she replied "Because I'm your wife and I want to make love with you."
"Are you sure you won't find that too degrading?" he asked bitterly
And suddenly, he moved away from her. After a while, she heard the door slamming behind Max. She was trembling as she redressed and then she went to the kitchen to make some coffee.
She noticed that the keys for the Cherokee were still there with the map. But she was determined to stay, to fight for her happiness, even if it was just for a week.
After she drank her coffee, she went to the guest-room, she took off the sheets from the bed and put them in the laundry basket. Then, she returned to the kitchen to cook something for dinner.
As the time went by she tried not to worry about him and a long while later , she was relieved to hear the door open. Cuddled in the armchair by the fireplace, she hadn't switched on the light and he walked into the dark room
"Liz? Liz?" he called worried
When she answered he sighed and asked "Why are you sitting in the dark?"
"I like watching the fire in the dark."
She watched him walk around the room and light all the candles, and as he lit the last one she saw that he was really shocked. Suddenly, she realized that, seeing the car in the same place but the hut in darkness worried him, he thought that something very serious could have happened to her, or she could have attempt something against herself.
Lightly, she said "I've already told you that I had no intention of committing suicide. By the way, are you hungry, I cooked a roast its in the oven."
"Liz....I..."
"I don't know about you but I'm starved." she said not wanting to let him talk.
By instinct, she knew that he had lost his balance. He was expecting everything else but this, this light and natural attitude. *He seemed tired and overwhelmed by a feeling of defeat* she thought when she looked at his face.
She realized that she was not the only one who had suffered in this situation, he had had a lot of sorrow too; he had lost the woman he loved and the woman he wanted almost killed them by trying to leave him.
She tried to talk a little but as he didn't reply the dinner was silent. As soon as he drank his coffee, he finally spoke. "We need to sleep. Do you want to use the bathroom first?"
Disappointed, Liz hoped that they could spend the evening talking by the fireplace, they needed to talk. Yet, she obeyed. When she came back, she found Max looking at the fire, sadly. She resisted the yearning to hug him and to comfort him. "Your turn" she said with the brightest smile she could send him.
He disappeared without a word and she sat down near the fireplace instead of going to sleep. He came back, dressed with a bathrobe, bare feet and his hair wet. He switched off the lights, leaving just one near the bed. "Do you want me to take care of the fire?" he asked abruptly.
"I'm not tired. I'd like to sit here a while again."
Instead of joining her, he walked towards the guest-room slamming the door behind him. But he came back at once, angry "What do you want? Do you want to know how far you can go with me?"
"Of course not."
"But I could say that you're looking to cause trouble!"
"NO. I only want a chance to prove my feelings."
"I don't want your gratitude!"
"I'm glad because you won't have it. You saved my life but I did the same for you. I don't owe you anything Max. But why is it so bad to want to sleep with my husband?" she asked daring.
"48 hours ago, you said that being my wife was making you miserable...and now you would like to make me think that you’ve changed your mind because of what happened this afternoon!"
"This afternoon made me realize that life is too short to be spoiled, that I have to enjoy the happiness since it's still possible. You want me and...."
"You're wrong. I don't want you!" he cut her off.
Those words hurt her a lot. Shocked, she kept silent for a while, then always daring "I don't believe you! If you didn't want me, why did you force me to marry you?"
"I think its time to show you something." he said and then he walked to the desk in the corner of the room, searched and came back with a sealed envelope that he handed to her.
THE EXPLANATION.
She opened it with trembling fingers and was surprised when she opened it, she acknowledged her father's hand writing immediately.
**My dearest Liz,
If you are reading this I assume that you finally know the truth. Max promised to tell you everything. I hope you're not too angry with me if I forced you. I had hoped that you'd understand who Sean really was and that you'd break up your engagement on your own.
When I saw that you kept wanting to marry him, I tried to find a way to end the engagement. I was scared to death that you'd be determined to do it if I were against the project openly, because you're so stubborn.
With Max, we eventually found a solution, it was hard and there was the chance we could fail, but I was desperate and I wanted to try all the same. I would never forgive myself if I had let you spoil your life with a man you never loved.
I wanted Max to take this letter with him to show you that this was MY IDEA and that he helped me without wanting to. He was scared I think that you could hate him.
He told me what happened between you when you first met and he told me something else but I'm sure you know that now.
I would have explained to you the situation with Serena but he forbade me. He wanted you to trust him and you not wanting to listen to him was killing him.
Max is proud and stubborn, he didn't like to ask or beg. I've always acknowledged that, if you loved him, that it would be YOU who had to surrender. And I was positive he wouldn’t have been able to seduce you, if you didn't love him.
I was happy when you told me that you loved him at your wedding.
I've always wanted you to be happy, Liz. I know that Max loves you and that he'll make you happy.
Your father who loves you forever.
Jeff**
Shocked, Liz read the letter again before she could finally understand what her father did. *Dad, you've always wanted to protect me. You tried to make me break up an unhappy wedding.*
She looked up at Max and saw that he was devouring her with his eyes. His face was in the darkness and she couldn't read him.
"So what was all this then?" she asked softly.
"Doesn't he tell you in his letter?"
"No"
"Oh...I agreed to pretend that I'd ruin him if you didn't marry me."
"So you didn't invest money in the company!"
"I did, but not that much. I wouldn't own it even if I wanted to."
"And our house? Do you own it?" she asked again waiting in bated breath for his answer.
"NO"
Liz tries to understand "Why in the hell, did you agree to go along with this ridiculous plan?" she asked still dumbfounded.
"Your father was desperate and I didn't want to see you married to another man....." he said looking at her uncertain if he should continue, but he did "I shouldn't have pushed you the way that I did and I should have listened to my heart before acting the way I did."
"I would have married Sean if you didn't do it."
"From you’ve said about how you feel about this marriage I think that would have been better"
"NO." Liz denied.
Max blushed "You always cause me to say and do things that I regret later. I....I'm sorry Liz. I've never had any intention of hurting you. I've continued to hope for a miracle, for things to work out between us."
He turned around to put a log in the fire in an attempt to hide his feelings "You should go to bed Liz"
"You...Don't you want to come with me?" she asked anxiously
"I'll take the couch."
"And then?"
"If you can drive, we'll go back to Boston tomorrow and then to Roswell."
"And then?"
"As soon as I talk to Jeff, I'll come back to Boston leaving you to live your life like you want" he said sadly.
Fighting to restrain her tears, she asked "Don't you have to take care of the company? Or maybe that was all part of the plan too."
"No, that wasn't. He wants to reduce his activities. He told me that but he might change his mind. If not, Michael would be happy to work with him. And you'll be there to help him."
"I don't want to work again. I'd prefer to be a wife. I want children."
She saw him stiffen. "I'd like to have a man in my life, and to be simply happy."
With the light of the fire, she saw a gleam blazing in his look : fear. He seemed desperate and hurt.
"Then...the best thing I could do for you is to give you a divorce." he said dying little by little with every word he spoke.
"That's not Dad's opinion. Do you want me to read what he said?" she asked and she handed him the letter.
She watched him the entire time he read the letter, then he looked up "I don't want a divorce. I agree with my father" she stated.
"Don't be stupid. We are very attracted one another sexually but that's not enough to stay married to each other forever."
"But I love you. I told my father as much."
"Liz, you couldn't tell him the real truth since it was your wedding day!"
"THAT was the truth Max. I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. And I never stopped loving you."
"Liz, I thought that I was right to want things to work out between us. When I asked you if you loved me, you said *love you, me? I despise you! If you were drowning in the lake, I wouldn't help you!"
"I didn't mean a word of that. I couldn't admit that I was still loving a man who only wanted to use me" she said walking toward him.
She grabbed his good hand and looked at him in his eyes "When we were in the stream, I knew that if you died, I would die too." she said genuinely.
He stared at her, searching her eyes to find if she was telling him the truth. Then growling, he pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly against his chest, he kissed her tenderly, passionately, pouring all his love for her into the kisses.
Then he pulled away and wiped the tears that were flowing down her cheeks. "I couldn't bear the idea of you married to Sean." he confessed. "If you loved him, if he was different...I would have stayed away from you...even if. Then I was certain that I was wrong. You always said to me that you hated me! I was trying to convince myself that you didn't think that really, but..."
"Maax! I was not thinking what I said. I tried to hate you, I wanted to hate you because you had seduced me while you were engaged to someone else..."
"Poor Serena...She...."
"I don't want to know about Serena, that's the past." she cut him off softly. “All I want to know is if you love me..."
"I love you" Max said kissing her reverently "I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, Liz. I fell in love with you the first time I saw you at the airport. I was so madly in love with you when we were in the hut last year, that all I wanted was to stay with you forever." he said kissing her again.
"And now...you...."
"I'm completely craz
y about you Liz. You driven me crazy since I met you. You know I came back to Roswell. I wanted to tell you about Serena,.. Liz, my love...I want to tell you about Serena." he said seriously.
She nodded unable to talk, holding her breath whilst he began to talk about Serena. "Serena was Michael's sister..." he began
*That's why I thought that Michael's face and smile was familiar to me* she thought.
"We grew up together, the three of us. Serena was like my little sister, but when she was 16 years old, she began to change, I mean, she was shy in front of me. Michael told me that she had a crush on me and that it would pass...and when I finished high school that was over. At least, I thought it was over but in truth she just knew how to hide her feelings well. It was later on that I found out that she was still in love with me. I've told you that Michael's parents died in a car crash, haven't I?"
Cuddled against his chest, Liz nodded silently.
"A few months after the accident, Serena got sick. The first tests showed that she had cancer, Michael wanted to hide this from her because he knew that she should fight the illness. She had to have further tests to find the severity of the cancer and find out if she should endure a painful treatment. Since he knew that Serena was in love with me, he begged me to help her, and I did it with all my heart, I had no one important in my life then. That's how I proposed to Serena." he paused trying to see her reaction, but Liz kept silent.
He continued "Liz, a few days after I proposed to Serena, we met. At first sight, I knew that you were the one for me, that you were the woman I'd been waiting all my life for. I had decided to tell Serena about you if the tests came back negative. I couldn't dare to think what I would be compelled to do if they didn’t. Liz when I asked you to come with me to Maine, I had no intention of trying to seduce you, believe me. But you have this talent to make me loose my mind and I knew deep in my heart that I should tell you the truth and yet I couldn't stop and postpone the moment. I was terrified of your reaction." he said sadly. He paused again but then again but Liz didn't move she was captivated by his words.
Seeing that she wasn't going to say anything, he carried on. "Then you met Serena and you found out about our engagement before I could talk to you. I reached the airport barely 10 minutes after your plane took off. Without me knowing, Serena did some tests while she was in New York and the results arrived 48 hours after your departure, they were positive. Serena wanted to release me. I refused. You would never know how hard that had been for me to push away the temptation, I wanted to come to Roswell, to apologize and to explain everything to you. I wanted to come and marry you and spend my life with you. But I had a debt with the Guerin’s and I couldn't let Serena down or Michael. A month later, she entered the hospital. She fought hard against the illness, but she had no chance of winning.
We got married in the hospital, I remember her bright smile that day, her dream was coming true, and she died a few days later. The last thing she told me was "I was lucky to have you. Thank you for the happiness you gave me. When I pass away, I want you to find a woman who'll make you happy someone like your cousin, she told me surprisingly. But when I found the strength to come to see you, you were already engaged to Sean and I had no right to interfere in your life anymore." he said, his throat dry from all the emotion.
He stopped talking and lifted her chin softly, there were tears in her eyes "Liz, I don't want to see you sad, even Michael would be shocked. He thinks that life is a love song”
"I can't help but feel sorry for Serena, for Michael, for you. But Max, why did you act towards me the way you have since you came back?" she inquired. She had to know.
"Liz, I was madly in love with you and you fled from me over and over when I came to tell you everything. Later, your father told me about your engagement. I was jealous, I was furious. I couldn't bear to see you with another man, let alone that Sean person. He didn't love you like I loved you and you were pushing me away." he said passionately.
"And you wanted to make me pay, even threaten me...."
"I've never threatened you Liz!" he cut her off "You always believed that I was some kind of monster who wanted to tear you down. But you're right, I've told that I was only interested in your body. I think that I would have told you anything because I was feeling hurt."
"HURT? Max, you forced me to marry you. Ok, so that was my father's idea, but you did force me and you frightened me. Remember when we came here, when we were at the restaurant, in the mall even on our first night here. Can you tell me why you acted like this with me?" she insisted again.
"Liz...I knew that I was wrong to not tell you the truth when we met. But that day, the day you gave yourself to me for the first time, your first time.....that was like you giving me your life. I mean in my heart you belonged to me, and only me. I didn't think that you would leave me. In my mind, you had no right to leave me. I didn't tell you the truth, that was my fault but I was denying you the right to move away from me. I know it was irrational but I couldn't help feeling that way. You were supposed to wait for me and listen to my explanation..." he said huskily.
"But Max, even if I hadn’t fled that day, Serena was very sick and you promised her to marry her. We would never have had the opportunity to get together. That was like fate or destiny or something, I don’t know what But you were engaged to her, that why I had to leave." she said fervently
"If you had told me the truth, I would have fled regardless. I wouldn't have been able to bear staying with you, you were meant to be with Serena. Knowing the truth, I'm happy that she was so happy in the last moments of her life." she said and tears were swimming in her eyes again.
"Liz...Could you forgive my madness? My excuse was that I was loved you too much and I was full of myself and stubborn in the same time. You were mine, you have to come with me. No man could have you but me. That's all that I can say to you. Liz, Love, I beg you to forgive me. I'll try to improve my behaviour, to be less jealous and possessive if you agree to stay with me" he begged and tears were flowing down his cheeks.
He had handed her his pride, he loved this woman more than life itself, he was not ashamed to grovel and beg her to forgive and accept him. He couldn't bear to live a minute without her anymore, she was his oxygen, his life.
She looked at him, staring deep in his eyes to see if he was really sincere this time. And yes, he was laying himself and his feelings "naked" in front of her.
He told her everything, he begged and grovelled to her to forgive him and there was no way she couldn't not accept his apology and stay with him.
She loved this man so much. "Max you won't act the way you have since we came here anymore will you? I mean, no more violence, no more fear, do you swear it to me?" she asked looking him in the eyes
"Liz, I was a fool. I wanted to hurt you because I was hurt. I've told you that I lost my mother at 11years old, without Mrs Guerin to help me and to love me, I would have been a street urchin and later Philip adopted me and made a man of me, but something was still always missing in my life, or someone. I found it when I met you and I've been over possessive with you. I couldn't tolerate that you could think about someone else, I couldn't accept that you would want to leave me. You were mine and only mine. Liz, please...forgive me!" he said bending his head ashamed of what he did to her.
Liz turned around toward him and cupped his face. "Max, do you love me?" she asked
"With all my heart and my soul Liz and I always will." he swore.
"That's all that’s important to me," she said
"If I wasn't injured, I would prove it to you at once..." he said with a bright smile.
"I could help you.....if you want me..."
"I WANT YOU!!" he cut her off passionately and he pulled her against his chest and swooped down on her lips. He ravished her mouth, duelling with her tongue.
Her moans were driving him crazy. He loved her so much, she made his body stir to life and she made his heart swell with happiness.
After a while, they pulled apart but Max stayed with his forehead pressed against hers. "Max, that's not what I wanted to tell you" she said with mischievous look
"If you want me to help you....you'll be able to show me how much you love me...." she explained blushing.
He stood up and held out his valid hand to her and took it, they walked to the bed. "Come on my love, I'm going to show you"
When they were under the blankets, Max pulled her against his chest "Liz....I love you, I always will."
"Me too Max." she said wrapping her hands around his neck.
"Now let me show you how much I love you...I swear to you, you won't ever forget tonight!”
THE END........................