Roswell Fanatics

Part Twenty-One

After correcting their direction several times, it took Nate and Alyssa four days to reach the pod chamber. They were exhausted, hungry and out of money, but they stood at the foot of the mountain nonetheless. Overhead, the sun beat down mercilessly – if hadn’t been for their one stroke of luck, they would have surely succumbed to the elements by now.

Nate dropped his gaze from the twin peaks of the mountain and turned to the old car that was idling noisily behind them. Bending at the waist, he peered through the passenger window at the man behind the wheel – a middle-aged Mesaliko Indian who had identified himself only as Eddie.

The previous night, as Alyssa and Nate had made their way down the desert roads in the darkness, they’d scrambled out of the way of an on-coming car, hiding themselves behind some rocks along side the road. They’d been traveling in this manner for quite some time, always able to detect on-coming cars and stow themselves away before being spotted. But this time, as they’d waited anxiously behind the boulders, the car had slowed to a stop then rolled down the window and the driver had called to them.

Eddie claimed he’d been sent. Of course, Alyssa and Nate had believed that he’d been sent by someone to kill them. After all, what better disguise to use in the southwest than that of a Native American? But when he’d mentioned someone named River Dog, Alyssa had practically squealed with delight, dashing from cover before Nate could even stop her.

It had been an eventful few hours – Eddie talked of his relative, dead now for many years, and how he’d been involved with a survivor of the 1947 crash. It seemed that even Max and Liz had come across him, that he had helped more than one generation of aliens. Alyssa chatted all night, wanting answers and insight into occurrences that Nate knew nothing about. Eddie was forthright, honest, and candid. All Nate could do was listen in fascination.

Now, though, it was time for them to part ways. Nate hated that he couldn’t at least compensate this man for the gas he’d spent driving them across the desert. It was embarrassing and hurt his pride, to say the least. All he had to offer was a handshake.

Eddie grinned as Nate extended his hand through the passenger side window. His grasp was firm and brotherly.

“I can’t thank you enough,” Nate said humbly.

Eddie seemed to understand. “One day, brother, I may ask for your help.”

“And I’ll be there,” Nate assured him.

Alyssa bounded around the car and kissed Eddie’s cheek through the driver’s side window. “Thank you so much, Eddie.”

Goodbyes said, Eddie pulled slowly away, the car rattling loudly and kicking up a dust storm in its wake. They watched him go and for some reason Nate wished that the man had stayed – he seemed so full of history and tradition. Things that Nate was severely lacking.

“How cool was that?” Alyssa said in awe as the car disappeared into the horizon.

“Seriously,” Nate agreed. “Had you met him before?”

She shook her head, squinted against the bright sun. “No, but Daddy talked a lot about River Dog, about how he had the healing stones – which saved Daddy’s life that time. I had heard of Eddie, from Aunt Liz, but that’s the first time I’d seen him.”

“What do you think he meant – that he’d been sent? Who sent him?”

Alyssa shrugged. “I dunno, Nate.” Her dark eyes shifted to the pod chamber entrance. “Maybe it’s a sign that we’re meant to do this thing.”

Nate felt that all-too-familiar twist of anxiety in his belly.

“Come on,” she said, sliding her hand into his. “Let’s go inside.”

The interior of the pod chamber was a cold, damp contrast to the outside world. Involuntarily, Nate shivered, the sweat on his skin evaporating quickly. The pods still glowed eerily against one wall, their blue cast setting the whole structure in a bizarre glow. He watched curiously as Alyssa got down on her hands and knees and started to crawl through one of the bottom pods. His first reaction was to shudder – he had no intention of doing that.

But Alyssa looked over her shoulder and beckoned to him. “Come on, Nate, follow me.”

He swallowed, the thought of climbing through someone’s pod a little disturbing.

Alyssa rolled her eyes, then slapped the side of the pod. “It’s dry, Nate. It’s not sticky and gooey or anything.”

He blushed to the gills, then reluctantly dropped to all fours. She slid easily through, but he had an issue with his shoulders which had broadened the more he’d lifted weights. For one moment, he had a fear of becoming wedged in and panic started to flare inside of him. But a push this way and a shoulder that way and pretty soon he was through as well.

Before them was a set of sliding doors. Nate looked at them in surprise – no one had ever mentioned them before.

“What is this?” he asked, his voice echoing across the rock.

“Where the granolith used to be,” Alyssa said, reaching for a pad beside the doors. “Before Tess took it back to Antar.” She placed her hand on the pad and the doors slid aside.

There was no granolith on the other side of the doors. In fact, there was nothing but an abyss, so deep that Nate felt a flash of vertigo.

“Come this way,” Alyssa said, carefully picking her way around the perimeter of the hole. “I know how you are about heights, Nate – don’t look down.” She reached behind her back and held out a hand, which he gladly took.

It was an odd feeling, to be in the room where Max confronted Tess about killing Alex Whitman. Nate imagined that at one time, the room hadn’t been the shambles it was now. He could still see traces of a structure of some kind hanging from the walls – bits of glass and metal, some of it heat-stressed from the launch of the ship. This was where Tess’s ruse had been revealed, where Max had had to let her leave earth with his son for fear that the baby was dying in the earth’s atmosphere. This was where Michael Guerin had decided to stay for Maria instead of returning to his home world, some place he’d always dreamed of going. This was where Max had taken the fate of the world into his hands and traveled back in time to change the world forever.

There were ghosts everywhere.

They were on the opposite side of the room now, the doors seeming to be a million miles away. Alyssa pulled to a stop, then reached into an alcove. She pulled out a metal box, then sat down on an outcropping of rock. Nate followed suit, tried to ignore the gaping hole only a few feet away from them.

“What is it?” he asked as Alyssa flipped the latch on the box and the lid fell backward.

“Hopefully the answer,” she said, reaching carefully into the box and pulling out two items.

One was a manuscript of sorts, the pages yellowed, the corners dog-eared. The other was conical in shape, black, and smooth. She handed the black object to Nate.

“Be careful with that,” she warned.

Nate looked at it with curiosity and confusion. When they’d come to get the pentagram in order to summon Aubrey’s troops in the battle against Khivar and Nicholas, Alyssa had retrieved some artifacts from above the pods – and this thing had not been with the others. Paranoia raced through him that he was even touching it. Maybe he should put it on the floor…then again, if it rolled into the abyss, Alyssa was going to kill him – probably by throwing him in after it.

“This is the transcript of the book I showed you before,” Alyssa said, holding the heavy stack of pages in her hand. “This is what Alex Whitman was mindwarped into translating.”

Nate’s blue eyes shot to the paper and his skin started to crawl. Tess’s mission, Alex’s death, condensed to a stack of pages a few inches thick. Nate had to fight the urge to gag.

Alyssa paused, drew in a deep breath. “The book was used to figure out how to operate the granolith so that the hybrids could return home. As you know, only Tess left. But there’s more in the book, Nate.”

“What?” he croaked. This couldn’t be good.

“Once Tess was gone, the others went on their lives, for the most part. Aunt Isabel met Uncle Jesse and got married. Daddy tried to set himself straight and finish school. He always said he wanted to be better so that Mom would want to stay with him.” Alyssa’s dark eyes were sad. “Uncle Max searched relentlessly for you, at a pretty high cost.”

“What cost, Alyssa?”

“He nearly lost Aunt Liz. His parents kicked him out after he and Aunt Liz broke into a convenient store looking for a spaceship in Utah.”

Nate’s mouth dropped open wide. “He what?!” And to think Nate believed only Michael had a rap sheet…

Alyssa nodded. “He would stop at nothing until he had you back. He alienated – no pun intended – everyone around him. But he didn’t want to give up until he found you.” She looked down at the object in Nate’s hands. “And then she came back with you. And she died, and he had you back. And everyone wanted to forget about this book and about that thing you have in your hands.”

Nate was still shaking images of Liz and Max holding up a convenience store out of his head as he looked down at the object. “What is this? Where did it come from?”

Alyssa was silent for a long moment, her eyes fixed on the cone. “It was found in the wreckage of Tess’s ship when she returned to earth.”

“What does it do?” Nate was about to climb out of his skin – he had to know.

“Daddy was obsessed with it,” she continued. “No one else cared. Long after you’d been given to the Spencers and everyone had returned to their lives, he kept searching for the answers. And he found them – here.” She held up the book. “The cone is a time travel device.”

“A time machine,” he breathed.

Alyssa shook her head. “No, not really. It can only be used once, to change only one event. It has to be one of your actions – not those of someone else.”

Nate blinked. “But, if we used it to change something in the past, then it will change that we were ever here to use it and in a sense it will remain unused.” He always hated that about time-travel theory. Things got so messy.

Alyssa raised an eyebrow. He had a point. Wordlessly, she opened the book and started to dig through it. After a few minutes, she looked up at him. “You can only use it once.”

“Me, personally?”

“No, one person can only use it once. So, if you do this, then you’ll never be able to use it again. But I might.”

“Oh.”

Nate turned the object over and over in his hand. He sure hoped the book also explained how to use it as well because it had no buttons or anything.

Then a sickening thought came to him.

“You said Tess brought this back with her?” he asked.

Alyssa nodded.

“What was she going to change?”

Alyssa’s expression melted immediately and she began to fumble for words. “I don’t know, Nate. Maybe she was going to find a way to let Alex Whitman live this time.” Her words were filled with sympathy.

Nate set his jaw. “Or she was going to stop herself from seducing Max.”

And in effect prevent Nate from ever being born.

tbc

Part Twenty-Two

As Nate looked at the cone, he’d never felt more helpless, more lost in his life. The fact that the cone existed gave him and Alyssa the chance of setting things right, of saving their friends and family. But the fact that the cone existed on earth was anything but comforting.

Nate had always been gifted with an unnatural ability to remember the past. After all, he’d remembered the crash that had brought him home and he’d been able to recall Max’s bittersweet farewell before he’d turned him over for adoption. But now, his memory failed him and he couldn’t recollect anything about Tess and the cone.

Certainly she’d had a plan for it. Certainly she hadn’t accidentally stowed it away on their ship. Certainly she ran out of time before she’d carried out her plan.

But just what had her plan been? What had she wanted to reverse? Was Alyssa correct in guessing that Tess had wanted to somehow spare Alex’s life? Or was Nate more accurate in his belief that Tess wanted to expunge from her life her interlude – her one night stand – with Max?

“I don’t believe that, you know,” Alyssa said softly, her voice small in the hollowness of the chamber.

“What’s that?” he asked sullenly.

“That Tess wanted to get rid of you.”

He looked at her silently, waiting for the reassurance he knew was soon to come.

“It doesn’t make sense,” she continued. “If she wanted you dead, she could’ve, well – done it herself. After all, you were an infant, Nate.”

Nate paled slightly, the thought of his mother destroying him less than appealing.

“Besides, she fought like a tiger to protect you. I know that it bothers you that so many innocent people were hurt when she escaped from the airplane hangar with you, but do you really think someone who didn’t love you would go to those ends to keep you safe and undiscovered?”

Nate looked down at the cone again. She had a point. “Then what? Was she really going to try to save Alex?”

Alyssa shrugged. “Maybe. I know the others – especially my dad - like to paint her as evil incarnate. But she was part human, Nate. Maybe she carried regrets and guilts just like the rest of us. From what I’ve heard, she did tell Uncle Max that she hadn’t meant to kill Alex. Maybe she couldn’t live with that any longer.”

He nodded more to placate her than anything. One fact still remained – if Tess found a way to save Alex, many things may have changed. If not for arguments between Liz and Max about the responsible parties, Max may have never turned to Tess in the first place; Nate may never have been conceived. Tess may never have left for Antar. Without departure being eminent, Michael and Maria may not have started a physical relationship, one they continued until they one day conceived Alyssa. There was no telling what may have changed had Tess succeeded in whatever she had planned.

Just as there was no telling what Nate was about to change. Would things be better or would things be worse? Would there be innocent victims of this? Was it even the right choice to make?

“What if this is wrong?” he finally asked his girlfriend. He turned his head to her. “What if this is the way things are meant to be, Alyssa? What gives us the right to tamper with that?”

She worked her mouth, her dark eyes sad. “I can’t believe that this is the way things are supposed to be, Nate.”

“But how do you know? For sure?”

“I don’t. I just feel it in my bones.” Her hand drifted to her chest, toyed with the necklace he’d given her on her seventeenth birthday. “I feel it in my soul.”

He toyed with the cone, frowned slightly. “What do I do? What do I change?”

That was the million dollar question. How far back did he need to go to set things right? At what point did he make the big mistake that had lead them to this?

Lost in thought, he drifted back to all of those things that shouldn’t have happened but that had. The first image to assault his mind was that of that little boy, slipping beneath the ice, drowning on that frigid winter day. The pain from that day was still so close that Nate had to close his eyes against the image. If he could bring that boy back, he definitely would.

But what if they boy had been meant to die that day? If Nate managed to go back in time and right that wrong, what else would be disrupted in the process? And even if Nate did manage to travel back to that day, what assurance did he have that he was going to be able to save the child? What good would it do to use his one chance on a futile effort?

Painfully, Nate realized that that boy’s death would always be part of his subconscious, always guilt on his soul. There was no ridding himself of it.

Annie. Annie would be alive now if Nate hadn’t sent her running through the desert as a decoy. But maybe things never should have gotten that far. Maybe Annie running wasn’t the problem – maybe Annie being there in the first place was the issue.

Maybe, on some level, Nate Spencer should never have left Chautauqua. If he’d never tracked down his blood relatives, Annie would be alive. He himself would never have fallen captive to the FBI and been tortured. Max might not have ever been caught by Nicholas and Khivar and been nearly beaten to death. The plan to hijack a television station would never have come to fruition and all related parties would be alive and doing well.

And Nate would have never met Alyssa.

She was looking at him now, dark eyes caring and serious. To think of not being with her, to have never experienced every quirk of her amazing personality drove a stake right through Nate’s heart. The pain was so great that he put a hand to his chest to try to quell it. Alyssa looked a little concerned as she placed her hand over his.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

Nate shook his head, felt his breath constricting in his chest. Panic was very near the surface again. “I don’t – I don’t know what to do,” he breathed. He met her eyes, his expression sheepishly honest. “I’m scared of this.”

Alyssa tipped her head to the side in compassion, then wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly. She kissed the side of his head and rocked him soothingly. “You have a right to be afraid,” she whispered against his ear. “Every right. But I know you’re strong enough to do this, Nate. You’re stronger than both of us.”

He pulled away and she took his face between her hands. “That’s not true,” he argued gently. “You’re so much stronger than I’ll ever be.”

She gave a lopsided grin and shook her head. “Nah, it’s all an act. I act all brave but I’m really a baby under it all.” She glanced down at this chest. “You’re the one with the heart of a king, Nate.”

He was a king again, wasn’t he? Ironically, he realized that he was holding his only citizen in his arms. His empire had shrunk to a census of one. But she was right – he was a king and he had a responsibility. To her and to those who had fallen. Like any other person in power, he had to take control of the situation, no matter how afraid he was of the consequences.

“You’re right,” he said, letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “I have to do this.” He rolled the cone over in his hands. “Where do I start? How far back do I go?”

Alyssa looked a little uneasy. “The book doesn’t say that you have a choice.”

Nate’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “I don’t?”

“Not that I know of. It just says how to activate it to return to the past. There’s no way to give it coordinates or anything.”

That revelation did nothing to calm Nate’s nerves. He was just supposed to use this thing – blindly?

“What becomes of you?” he asked, giving her a pitiful glance. “Once I’m gone, what happens to you?”

Alyssa shook her head and he could tell she’d put up the brave front again.

“You don’t know,” he said for her, received another shake of the head.

Things couldn’t get much worse. Everyone was dead. Nate was about to activate an alien device that would transport him to some unpredictable point in time. And Alyssa would be left behind to fend for herself.

“If this doesn’t work,” he began, “what will you do? How will you take care of yourself?”

She smiled at him. “It will work, Nate.”

“We don’t know that. We don’t know what –“

She laid a finger against his lips, then kissed him there instead. “You don’t have a choice. Believe in it, Nate. Trust that it will work.”

Nate looked at the cone again, suddenly saw it as evil and menacing.

“You have to,” she said quietly.

“If I can do this, do you think we’ll remember any of this? Do you think the others will remember what happened to them?

Alyssa shook her head slowly. “I don’t know, Nate. All we can do is try.”

Reluctantly, he nodded his head. “Read the instructions to me, will you?”

“Not here,” she said, standing and reaching for his hand. He rose as well, but looked at her curiously. She gestured toward the abyss the granolith had left. “God knows what’s going to happen when you activate that – I don’t really feel like tumbling into the void.”

“Good thinking.”

The crawled back through the pods and sat down on the floor of the pod chamber. Nate took the cone in his hands and waited until Alyssa found the right page.

“Why did Michael hide this from the others?” Nate asked.

“Because he couldn’t trust Uncle Max not to jump back in time again.” She winked at him, letting him know she was kidding, but not really. “Are you ready?”

Nate nodded, his stomach twisting under his skin.

“One hand on top, one on the bottom,” she instructed.

He did as he was told.

“Turn the top one clockwise, the bottom one the opposite.”

Nate did so, twisting the cone between his palms.

“Stop when you hear a click.”

There were no buttons or levers or anything on the device – what was there to make a clicking sound? But nonetheless, there was a click and Nate nearly dropped the cone on the floor. His blue eyes shot to Alyssa’s.

“What now?” he asked hurriedly.

“That’s all the book says.”

“What? It can’t be!”

As soon as the words left his mouth, digits appeared on the top of the cone, symbols that he couldn’t really decipher. But he knew what it was regardless – a countdown. Anxiety kicking into overdrive, he looked worriedly at Alyssa.

“I love you,” he told her. “So much.”

“I love you, too,” she answered, tears filling her eyes as the book slipped from her hands.

“I know in my heart we’re meant to be together, Alyssa,” he told her, frightened that he’d run out of time before he said what he needed to. “Whatever happens, even if I end up ten years into the past, I will come looking for you. I won’t stop until I’ve found you.”

She nodded. “I know you will.”

“I mean it, Alyssa. With all of my heart.”

The last thing he saw was her face contort as she burst into tears.

Then he was falling, falling, spiraling down quicker and quicker until he felt like he was going to vomit. He couldn’t keep his eyes open, couldn’t keep his bearings on anything. Images and sounds whizzed past him – Isabel’s laugh, the creepy twins staring silently at him across the dinner table, Jeremy with a new girlfriend, Liz and Emily playing together on the floor…faster and faster the images came, to the point where he thought his brain might explode. Until Max’s voice was suddenly very clear, very near.

“…in Vermont. I thought maybe you’d like to go up there next weekend.”

The spinning was gone and Nate felt his ears pop. His heart was jerking in his chest, his breath choked in his throat.

“Hey, Nate? You okay?”

He lifted his head, found Max with knife and fork poised over his dinner plate, looking at him in concern.

They were seated at the dining room table in Max and Liz’s bungalow in Boston. Over Max’s shoulder, Nate could see the half-decorated Christmas tree and his stomach lurched again. He knew this day, he remembered it – it was the weekend after Thanksgiving.

It was the day he’d told Max of his plan to go public.

tbc

Part Twenty-Three

Nate couldn’t breathe. To steady himself, he gripped the edge of the table with both hands, his eyes fixed sightlessly on the plate of breaded grouper and rice before him. Liz Evans loved to cook fish, loved that they now lived on the coast where they could get fresh fish every day. He remembered this about her.

But he also remembered what was going to happen in the future. He remembered death and destruction and a sick girlfriend. Somehow he’d made it back in one piece – there was no Future Nate lingering around the corner out of sight. He was back in his own body, back to a time when everything had started to go wrong.

It had to be a dream. No one ever got such a huge second chance. No one ever got to erase the worst mistake they’d ever made. It just wasn’t how the universe operated…was it?

Nate’s chest seized once again and he gasped, trying to pull in air. Where was Alyssa? Was she still two months into the future, sitting on the floor of the pod chamber? Was he still there in some respect as well? In his head, he saw his lifeless body being cradled by her and he felt another stab of anxiety.

The walls were starting to close in. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to pass out.

Max’s hand on his shoulder, warm, alive. “Nate, are you okay?”

Max seemed real enough, his voice strong and his touch definitely tangible. Did he remember anything that had happened? With a jab of guilt, Nate recalled the look on his father’s face as he’d accepted two things – Nate had fucked up royally and Max was going to die because of it.

Mustering all of his courage, Nate lifted his head and met Max’s eyes. Forcing himself to breathe, he looked across the table at Liz, who was round-eyed and worried.

“I..” he stammered. “I’m not feeling so well.” He closed his eyes and tried to calm the thundering beat of his heart, tried to loosen the knot inside of his chest.

“Nathan?” Max again, cautious. “Tell me what’s wrong. Where don’t you feel well?”

Nate swallowed hard. “I just…I just need to use the bathroom…” Shakily, he pushed himself to his feet, his knees wobbling beneath him. “I’ll be okay.”

He left Max and Liz at the table and staggered down the hallway to the half bath beside Emily’s bedroom. Closing the door behind himself, he splashed cold water on his face, then gave himself a long look in the mirror. He was thinner than he had been at the time of the massacre – he was missing two month’s worth of muscle mass that he would eventually put on while working out at the gym with Max.

This wasn’t a dream. This was real. He had just erased two months of everyone’s lives and started over. The sheer power of that statement made his stomach clench – it was an undeniably heinous power to have.

But not as heinous as the power of persuasion. If this night was allowed to play out like it had before, Nate would spend an hour and a half talking to Max of reasons why they should out themselves, why they would be safer in the public eye. And Max would listen, skeptically at first but then with enthusiasm. Whether Nate knew it or not, he was beginning to possess a power of manipulating with words.

It can’t happen again, he told his reflection silently. Not this time. Life will go on as it was, with all of the hiding and Max’s time away from his family. Even though it sucks, being dead sucks worse.

Through the wall of the bathroom, Nate heard tiny little noises. Cocking his head, he realized what they were – Emily. Unable to stop a cry from escaping his lips, he threw open the bathroom door and raced into her room. She wasn’t fussing yet, merely stretching and babbling to herself, but Nate couldn’t stop himself from reaching into the crib and snatching her into his arms. She looked liked the sudden action might frighten her into crying, but then she saw that big brother Nate had her and she giggled. It was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he said to her as he clutched her to his chest. “I wanted so much more for you, I really did. I didn’t know what was going to happen. If I had, I never would have let them harm you.”

A noise at the door drew his attention and he looked up to find Liz looking at him warily.

“Nate, are you okay?” she asked, her eyes shifting to her daughter.

Nate cleared his throat. “I’m fine. Honest.”

She didn’t look convinced. “You’re kind of worrying me.” Of course he was – she had to have heard what he’d just babbled to Emily.

“I’m sorry,” he said, trying to smile convincingly. “I’m just a little under the weather.”

Liz reached for her baby and Nate wondered if she was taking her out of protectiveness. Then again, who wouldn’t – he was acting like a crazy man. “You were fine earlier,” she prodded gently.

Self-conscious, he shoved his hands into his pockets. “I know. It came on me out of the blue.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Why don’t you come out and try to finish your dinner? Maybe that will make you feel better.”

He agreed only to look somewhat normal.

At the table, Max was finishing his fillet as Nate slid into his seat. He wiped his mouth on his dinner napkin and sipped from his glass of water as Nate shakily picked up his fork.

“You overdid it,” Max observed.

“Huh?” Nate said, realizing he wasn’t going to be able to eat anything – his chest was tight and his stomach was flopping.

“You worked out too hard today, didn’t eat enough,” Max observed. “I told you to take it easy.” There was a chuckle in his tone. If Liz was suspicious, Max certainly wasn’t.

“You’re probably right.”

Reaching over, Max put a hand on his son’s forehead, his brow furrowing slightly. “Then again, maybe not. Are you coming down with something?”

Nate was more than relieved to have the convenient out. “I think so.”

Liz returned from the nursery with a freshly-changed Emily in her arms. She didn’t give any indication that she was about to blurt out to Max that his son had just been talking of harm to their daughter.

“Nate’s not feeling well,” Max said to her.

“That’s what I heard,” Liz replied, handing the baby to him.

“The fish was excellent tonight, sweetheart.” His sincere smile could have lighted a 40-block square.

Nate looked at his plate with guilt.

“Why don’t you wrap Nate’s up so he can take it with him?” Max suggested. “Maybe he’ll feel better later.”

Liz gave them both a smile and took Nate’s plate out to the kitchen. When she was gone, Max raised an eyebrow at his son.

“You don’t have to be this nervous, you know,” he said soothingly.

“What?” Nate could only imagine that panic that was written on his face. Did Max somehow know what he’d done?

“Whatever it is you wanted to talk about, you know I’ll listen.” Max bounced Emily on his leg, kissed her chubby cheek.

Nate’s eyes fell on the baby, who was waving one hand in his direction. His beautiful baby sister, connected with him since birth. To think that she had almost been destroyed for good…

“Nate.”

His eyes snapped up and he found Max looking at him patiently.

“It’s okay, really. I told you long ago that if there was ever anything you wanted to ask, you could. I’ll be honest with you. We can talk about anything.”

Yes, they could. That had been the start of the whole mess. Max was too open-minded when it came to Nate, it seemed.

“It was nothing,” he said with a shrug.

“Sure it was,” Max replied, shifting Emily to his other knee. “It was enough that you asked to come over – which, by the way, you never have to do. It was enough that you’re as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof right now.” His eyes softened. “Son, just tell me.”

Nate’s over-stressed mind worked hard to come up with something important to ask, and settled on an embarrassing yet important topic. “How did Liz get pregnant?”

Max blinked once, expressionless. Then an amused look drifted across his handsome features, something that really wanted to turn into a smirk if he didn’t stop it. “I thought you would have figured that out by now, Nate.”

Nate blushed to the gills. “I mean, I know how – you know – the deed happens, but um, just how did that happen? I mean, she was on something, right?”

Max sipped his water and Nate got the feeling he was hiding the inevitable grin. “Yes, she was on the pill.”

“Then how did she still get pregnant?” Emily shrieked and giggled at him. “I mean, not that it was a bad thing.”

There was no suppressing Max’s smile now – or the chuckle that sneaked out. It was a sound Nate thought he’d never hear again. “I guess it was just meant to be.”

“How are you going to stop it from happening again?” Nate blurted out, then blushed a deeper red.

Max bit the corner of his mouth, his eyes creased in the corners in affectionate amusement. “There are other methods.” When Nate didn’t respond, he expounded. “Barrier methods, Nate.”

“Oh.” Nate grinned sheepishly, then grabbed his own water glass.

“Hold on,” Max said, handing Emily over to Nate. Then he got up from the table and disappeared down the hallway.

Nate looked down at Emily, who was grinning widely at him, toothless as she was. He shrugged and gave her a goofy face, making her laugh. In a few moments, Max reappeared with something concealed in his hand.

“Put them in your wallet,” he said, trying not to laugh again.

Nate looked at his father’s out-stretched hand. Condoms. His eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“Come on,” Max urged playfully, “before the wife comes out here and finds me giving away her peace of mind.”

Nate took the condoms and shoved them into his pocket, his ears reddening with embarrassment.

Max slid into his chair and sipped his water as they sat in a strange silence for a few moments. Finally, he said, “What else?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

Max shrugged. “I appreciate your thinking of Alyssa, Nate, but I highly doubt she was what sent you over here wanting to discuss something important.”

“Birth control is important,” Nate said unconvincingly, mostly due to the nervous chuckle that punctuated his words.

“Sure it is.” Max met his gaze steadily, arms crossed on the table. “But there’s something else on your mind.”

Nate shifted in his chair. This is where he’d gone wrong before. He couldn’t do it again. “I want to tell them who I am,” he heard himself saying without much control.

Max didn’t react other than to study him a little more closely. “Okay,” he said carefully. “And who is ‘them’?”

God, he was just making things bad again. He looked down into his lap, past Emily’s swinging arm. “My parents,” he said, realizing that even though he’d been making it all up as he went along, he really meant that. He did want the Spencers to know.

Max sat silently, sipping his water, shut away with his own thoughts.

It’s okay if he says no, Nate told himself. I didn’t say I wanted to tell the world this time. And even though I want Mom and Dad to know, I can live with them not knowing. A tiny little piece of his gut relaxed. Maybe everything was going to be okay after all.

“That is an important decision,” Max finally said.

Nate nodded silently.

“One that needs a lot of thought,” he continued.

“I agree.”

Max sat back in his chair. “We don’t make these decisions without a consensus.”

“Meaning?”

“We all agree to let someone in on the secret. All of us – Liz, Isabel, Michael, Maria. Everyone. Only when we agree one hundred percent do we let someone in.”

Nate nodded eagerly. “Okay. I understand.”

Max twirled his fork pensively then gave a quick nod of his head. “I’ll do some fishing, test the waters. Michael’s usually the one we have to worry about.” He laughed lightly.

And Nate found himself smiling at that. Michael’s suspicious attitude has kept him alive for a long time – that’s what Max had once said. From now on, Nate would learn to rely on that suspicion, on that intuition.

Liz reappeared with Nate’s dinner neatly packed in aluminum foil. “Are you feeling well enough to drive home?” she asked, in mothering mode. “Do you want Max to drive you?”

As Nate shook his head, he remembered with a jolt that Alyssa should be waiting at home for him – if she’d made it back from the future, that was.

tbc

Part Twenty-Four

A fresh blanket of snow had fallen on Cape Cod by the time Nate returned to the Ramirez Estate. He was driving too quickly, anxious to see if Alyssa was there and well, and when he slammed on the brakes, his truck skidded sideways and ended up perpendicular to its normal parking spot.

Throwing the door open, Nate jumped out and nearly fell on the slippery driveway. Righting himself, he rushed for the garage door, but pulled up short, his shoes skidding once again on the snowy ground. His blue eyes searched the darkness, then he whispered loudly, “Aubrey!”

In seconds, the protector was before him, all business, in a heavy Eddie Bauer parka. “Sir.”

“You’re here!” Nate spouted, barely able to contain his glee.

“Of course I am, sir,” she replied, no expression in her voice.

Unable to contain himself, he reached out and gave her a firm huge, crushing her body to his. She let out a little yelp of surprise and when he released her, he thought he saw a flash of something resembling concern in her eyes.

“Carry on,” he said happily.

Aubrey cleared her throat. “Sir,” she said as she vanished once again.

Nate jerked open the door to the garage loft and started bounding up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Inside, he felt light, like he was George Bailey and Clarence the Christmas Angel had just given him another chance at life.

“Dammit, Jeremy!” came Alyssa’s voice from the top of the stairs. “Can’t you stay at your own house for one night?”

Nate grinned as he topped the stairs. Alyssa was sitting by the Christmas tree, boxes and wrapping paper cluttering the floor around her. Immediately her face dropped from angry to surprised. Nate remembered this, too – she’d been shopping all day, wrapping gifts until he’d come home very late from talking to Max about going public and found her sleeping amidst a pile of paper scraps and ribbons.

“Nate!” she shrieked. “Go away! You’re going to see your present!”

It didn’t matter. He didn’t care about presents (even though he already knew what she’d gotten him), didn’t care about anything but seeing her healthy again, round in all of the right places. He immediately started marching towards her.

“No!” she half-squealed, half-laughed as she tried to shield the pile of boxes with her body. “You’re supposed to be at Uncle Max’s! What are you doing here?”

Nate dropped to his knees and swept her into his arms, closed his eyes against the tears that were threatening to spill onto his cheeks. “I made it,” he choked out over her shoulder.

“You made what?” she laughed, squirming against him.

“Back,” he said, pulling away from her and taking her face between his hands. Her cheeks were pink and healthy and the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“From Max’s?” she asked incredulously. “Jesus, Nate, it’s not snowing that hard out there. I’d think you’ve seen worse in New Yo-“

Her words cut off in her throat as Nate brought their lips together, kissed her feverishly. She choked in surprise at first, then started giggling against him.

“I love you so much,” he said between kisses. “So much. More than you will ever know.”

She was wearing his plaid flannel pajama bottoms – an endearing thing she often did when he was away – and he began to tug them from her body.

“Good God,” she laughed. “What did they feed you?”

“I’m never letting you go,” he said as he met her eyes, casting the pajamas aside. “I’m never going to let anyone hurt you.”

The amusement left her eyes and concern replaced it instead. “What happened?” she asked quietly.

Nate shook his head. “Nothing. I’ll tell you later.” Then he kissed her again, gently pushing her backward onto the braided rug.
Alyssa fell into him, returning his affections, and soon she was pulling down his zipper. Nate was nearly lost in the routine, lost in the security of not having to think about birth control, but then he remembered a not-so-pleasant trip to the hospital to retrieve her after the miscarriage.

“Wait,” he said, leaning away and reaching into his pocket.

“Condoms?” Alyssa asked, breathless with her need for him. She laughed lightly. “We don’t need those. I’m on the pill.”

“I want to be careful,” he said. There wasn’t an easy way to tell her what had happened in their now defunct future.

There must have been something in his eyes that made her understand as she relented and helped him put on one of the condoms. Then they were together, under the sparkling multi-colored lights of the small Christmas tree they’d decorated the day before. Nate blocked out everything, all of the things that had happened to them in the timeline he’d changed, all of the guilts and worries deep inside of him, and just let his soul meld with hers. Time ceased to move, the outside world didn’t exist. He no longer worried that Aubrey, outside lurking in the shadows, could hear them making love. And this time he loved Alyssa with abandon, like he never had before.

When it was over, they both lay exhausted on the floor of the loft, their breathing ragged, their bodies swathed in sweat.

“Oh…God…” Alyssa managed between gasps. “Whatever they did…to you…for God’s sake…let them do it again…”

Nate laughed. If he’d had any strength left in his body, he would have reached for her. But as it was, he was completely drained, and knew that moving was going to be impossible for awhile.

“I love you,” he said wistfully. “So much.”

There was a moment of silence and when he rolled his head to the side, he saw her looking at him with a mixture of seriousness and sympathy. An odd combination. Somehow, on some level, she knew something had happened to him, perhaps to both of them.

“I know you do,” she said. “And I love you, too…no matter what.”

Later, Nate retrieved the dinner Liz had wrapped for him from the truck and he split it with Alyssa. On his way back up, he locked the door – he needed to talk to her without interruption and there was always the threat of Jeremy becoming one. As they sat at the small table in the kitchen area, they talked about small things – what Alyssa had bought on her shopping trip, what Max and Liz were up to.

“What happened tonight?” Alyssa finally asked, pushing some rice around on her plate with the end of her fork.

Nate regarded her silently.

“I mean, I know something happened,” she said. “I could feel it.”

He nodded somberly. “Do you believe in second chances, Alyssa?”

She nodded. “Sure. Everyone deserves a second chance.”

“No matter how much they foul up?”

She shrugged. “Well, yeah. I don’t think second chances should discriminate. What’s this about?”

So he told her. He told her about the plan to go public, being caught by the Boston PD, reconstructing the Old Man of the Mountain, the deaths of everyone they loved, and the eventual use of the cone. He made no mention of miscarriages or mysterious illnesses – she had enough to deal with at the moment. Later, if the time felt right, he’d gently break that news to her.

While he’d talked, she’d had an expression of reserved skepticism about her, but once he mentioned the cone, her whole demeanor changed.

“Only Daddy and I know about the cone,” she said.

“And now I do,” he clarified. “Alyssa, there’s only one way I could know.”

“If I’d told you,” she completed his thought. Her face paled and she fell back into her seat. “Oh, my God. That stuff really happened, didn’t it?”

Nate nodded. “I don’t know what to tell the others, Alyssa. I don’t know if anyone else would believe us.”

Tears bubbled in her dark eyes. “You went through all of that,” she said. “You remember all of that.”

“Yeah,” he said, still feeling a little battle-weary.

Her tears fell onto her smooth cheeks as she got up from her chair, rounded the table and climbed into his lap. By the time she put her arms around him, she was crying freely. “I’m so sorry, sweetie,” she said into his shoulder. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

Nate closed his eyes and pulled her close to him. This is what he’d needed – to have her believe and understand what he’d gone through. It seemed that she hadn’t a clue what had transpired, that if he hadn’t told her, she’d be none the wiser. For that, Nate was grateful.

For the rest of the night, she babied him, giving him a bath, holding him until he fell asleep. This woman who was still very much in her girlish years, would always be Nate’s rock, his foundation in this bizarre thing his life had become. Nestled against her, he fell into a dreamless, much-needed sleep.

In the morning, Nate found himself alone. A note on the table indicated that Alyssa had gone out to get groceries for breakfast. He smiled at the note, touched the pen strokes with the tips of his fingers. He’d be lost without her.

Unexpectedly, there was a knock on the door at the foot of the steps. Nate’s brow furrowed. It was unlike Alyssa to forget her keys and more unlikely that Jeremy had learned to knock. He took the steps and opened the door to find Liz Evans on the other side. As a force of habit, he looked past her to see if Max and Emily were with her – they weren’t.

“Can I come in?” Liz asked, working her hands before her. She looked uncomfortable, which in turn made Nate uncomfortable.

“Of course,” he said, the cold Boston air drifting over his bare chest and making the hair on his arms stand up.

He let Liz pass him, then followed her up the stairs. At the top, he went to his dresser and got out a sweatshirt, which he pulled over his head. Liz was hovering near the kitchen, uncharacteristically edgy.

“No Emily today?” Nate asked, forcing himself to sound cheerful.

“No, Max took her to story hour at the library,” Liz explained.

Nate grinned. Only Max would take a six-month-old to story hour.

Liz laughed bashfully. “I know, but it’s his little tradition. He does it whenever he can, whenever he’s home.”

Nate’s smiled faded. Was that it? Was Max about to head out into the world again? “I was about to make some coffee,” he said. “Would you like a cup?”

Liz nodded, stuck a piece of her hair behind her ear like she always did when she was uncomfortable.

Nate took her coat and gestured for her to sit at the table while he went about filling the coffee pot. “Alyssa went to get some stuff for breakfast,” he announced, scooping coffee into the maker. “You’re welcome to stay if you’d like.”

“Thanks, I already ate,” Liz replied. Then she sighed. “We need to talk about something before she gets back, Nate.”

With his back still to her, Nate paused, then finished filling the pot. Things weren’t looking too good. Liz was nervous as hell and he could only guess this had something to do with her witnessing his weird behavior in Emily’s room the night before. Wiping his hands on a dish towel, he turned around and leaned his weight against the counter. “Okay.”

Liz’s eyes were steady, unaccusing. “I think I know what you did, Nate.”

Nate’s knees wobbled briefly and he put his hand on the counter to steady himself. He attempted to smile, but it wasn’t convincing. “What did I do?”

“If there’s anyone on this planet who can recognize the signs of time travel, it’s me.”

Nate swallowed and fell silent.

“Last night, you were perfectly fine,” Liz continued, folding her hands before her. “You and Max were chatting up a storm, and then in the middle of Max telling you about that new ski resort in Vermont, you just zoned out.”

“Well, Max can talk at length sometimes once you get him started.” His words weren’t even convincing to himself.

“I don’t mean you stopped paying attention,” Liz corrected. “I mean, you were literally gone for a couple of minutes, Nate. Like you weren’t even in your body anymore. And you’re right – Max does tend to babble when he’s relaxed and he didn’t even notice you were acting weird. When you came back, something was different.”

Nate looked down at his bare feet. He couldn’t even look her in the eye.

“And then I heard you in Emily’s room. Apologizing about letting things happen to her.”

He drew in a weary breath. They still didn’t know the consequences of what he’d done and he’d hoped to work that out before anyone found out. But it seemed that Liz already knew.

“I know what you did, Nate,” she continued. “I just don’t know why or how or from how far into the future.”

He was fumbling for an answer when the pot behind him finished filling. Just to give his hands something to do, he retrieved two cups and filled them. Not that he needed the caffeine – his body was already tense and very wired. Silent, he put Liz’s cup before her and slid into the other chair at the table.

“I know that it had to have been something devastating,” she said easily, her voice calming. “I can’t believe that you – or your father – would change the past if it weren’t. I’m frightened, Nate. I’m afraid that something is coming our way and I want to be prepared for it.”

He shook his head slowly, miserably. “It’s not. Not anymore.”

There was a hint of relief in Liz’s eyes, relief that he was more or less confessing to his actions. “What was it? What happened?”

He looked at her guiltily. “I messed up, Liz. Big time. But I stopped it from happening this time.”

Her gaze softened, perhaps trying to take the edge off her inquisition. “Nate, it might be helpful to know what happened. But please remember that it doesn’t matter what you did. Max loves you. And so do I. I mean, you’re so like him, how can I not?”

Nate couldn’t ignore the thought that came flooding into his head. “I’m also very much like my mother,” he challenged carefully. “Could you still love me then?”

Liz tipped her head to the side, her expression full of confusion, then Nate thought he saw the realization in her dark eyes. “Nate, are you saying you can mindwarp?”

He nodded mutely, his eyes fixed on hers. In truth, he was waiting for her to call him a string of names, to run for the door, anything.

But what she said was totally unexpected. “Yes, Nate, I can still love you.” Then one corner of her mouth lifted into a small smile. “And more importantly, I can understand you.”

This time, it was Nate who was surprised. His mouth dropped open in disbelief as he realized what she’d just told him.

Liz Parker-Evans was the other mindwarper.

tbc

Hey everyone. I think only one more chapter after this one.


Part Twenty-Five

The sun shined dully in the chilly December sky as Nate took Liz’s hand and helped her over a frozen sand dune. Behind him, chunks of ice clinked together at the shoreline, but there was plenty of unfrozen water on the horizon – a hope that somewhere warmer weather prevailed. The air off the ocean was sharp, biting into their cheeks.

“Maybe this was a bad idea,” Alyssa laughed lightly as she came to stand beside her aunt.

“It’s better to talk out here,” Liz reminded, adjusting her scarf around her neck. “No one will ever be able to hear us over the waves and the wind.”

Alyssa shivered and stamped her feet, then flung herself against Nate, trying to burrow in close to him. He smiled down at her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

When Alyssa had returned from the store, she’d cooked breakfast while Nate and Liz discussed the details of his trip through time – minus Alyssa’s illness, the baby and the use of the cone. After the meal was finished, he’d then informed his girlfriend that Liz was capable of mindwarping. The reaction had been a mixture of fear, denial and confusion. Nate had expected no less. Now they were on the beach behind Isabel’s estate, looking for a discreet place in which to talk.

“How did this happen to you?” Nate finally asked Liz, trying to infuse some sympathy into his tone.

Liz shrugged. “Max changed me. I have this modge podge of powers now. No rhyme or reason to it.”

“But how did he change you?” Alyssa asked. “Everyone is always saying that, but no one bothers to explain it.”

“We know that alien powers aren’t alien at all – they’re just superhuman. From what Nasedo said, humans don’t use all of their brain capacity while the hybrids have the ability to use more. As best as I can figure, when Max used his powers on me he allowed me to access more of my brain than I could before.”

Nate rubbed Alyssa’s arms to keep her warm. “Then wouldn’t that mean that if all powers are part of the brain, that powers shouldn’t be specific to one person? That everyone has the potential to do any of the powers?”

Liz gave an approving nod of her head – Nate could tell she enjoyed talking biology and having him draw his own conclusion pleased her. “Very possibly.”

“Then why does it seem that some powers are unique to certain individuals?”

“Like healing,” Alyssa added.

Liz tightened her coat around her thin body. “We’re all different. None of our brains are the same. It makes sense that you inherited Max’s powers, Nate, as you are genetically linked to him. It also makes sense that you got Tess’s.” She met him with a pointed look and he understood perfectly – nothing he did had caused him to be this way, it was simply genetics.

Alyssa crinkled her nose. “Then how does that explain why I got the dreamwalking power? Daddy can’t do that…Daddy can’t really do much, in fact.” She punctuated her words with an affectionate giggle.

Liz lifted one corner of her lip in amusement. “My only guess is that your brain was formed differently than his.” She gave a little shrug. “Or, Michael can dreamwalk and doesn’t know it.”

Nate’s and Alyssa’s eyebrows shot up simultaneously. Immediately, his mind flew to those less-than-innocent dreams he’d had about her, and the thought that Michael may have accidentally seen one of them was not at all comforting. He shook the thought from his head.

“So, how did you find out you could mindwarp?” he asked Liz.

Liz’s cheeks flushed a healthy pink not caused by the cold ocean air. “Well, it’s, uh…” She giggled and shoved a lock of hair behind her ear. Alyssa and Nate waited patiently. “Max and I were at the movies, right after graduation. It was dark in the theater, and quiet, and not many people were there…”

Deep inside, Nate felt the urge to laugh – because he thought he knew exactly where this was going. When Liz looked down at her boots in embarrassment, he knew for sure.

“So, I started noticing how close we were, that I could hear him breathing if I concentrated.” She snorted a nervous laugh. “Then I started imagining mauling him right there in the theater. When my little daydream was over, he was looking at me like I’d just slapped him. I asked him what was wrong and he asked how I could just come out and do that in public. But, you see, I hadn’t done anything. I had made Max think I’d been…well, you know.” Another nervous giggle.

Alyssa glanced up at Nate, a smirk on her face. At that point, he was eternally grateful that Max had never really been his “father” because hearing such a story about his adoptive parents would have put him in therapy for the next thirty years.

“When you figured out what was happening, what did you do?” he asked Liz.

“Let’s walk,” she suggested, gesturing down the beach. “As you can imagine, it wasn’t an easy thing to live with. For years, I’d hated Tess for what she could do, what she’d done to Alex. And there I was, with the same damnable ability.” Her dark eyes were distant as she looked across the sand. “In truth, it hurt. I went through a period of doubt. I was unsure of myself and what I was meant to do. I was afraid of hurting people. I don’t know what would have happened to me if it weren’t for Max.”

“What did he do?” Alyssa questioned eagerly. Nate smiled lightly – she wanted to help him and needed to know what Max had done in the same situation. It touched his heart and warmed him to the bone.

A loving smile curved Liz’s lips. “He just loved me. He let me cry and let me yell and let me hate myself. But he never hated me. He loved me and just supported me until I figured out how to control the power.”

At that moment, Nate realized that Liz had done all of that on her own – she hadn’t had anyone to go to for help, to explain how she could turn off and on her new ability. The advantage he had in having Liz in his life was immeasurable. He was blessed for sure.

“Why did you keep it a secret?” Nate asked next. “I mean, before I changed what had happened, I got the impression from Max that no one knew.”

“That’s true,” she confirmed. “No one knows but Max. Hence the need to be out on the frozen tundra instead of in Isabel’s warm garage loft.” She looked down at her feet for a few moments as they walked. “There was – and still is – a lot of hurt and animosity as a result of what Tess did with her power. I didn’t want that directed at me. I didn’t want to hurt anyone, even if it was unintentional.”

“But you’re not Tess, Aunt Liz,” Alyssa said sympathetically.

“I know. I know I’m not. But…” She stopped walking and looked out at the ocean. “It’s better this way.”

Nate thought he understood where she was coming from. Hell, at times he felt responsible for Tess’s actions even though he’d had absolutely no control over them. To have her power too, one that killed a best friend, had to have been a horrible blow for Liz.

“Do you ever use that power?” he asked.

Liz’s dark eyes were hard. “Never.” There was finality in her tone.

“Wouldn’t it come in handy at times?” he said carefully. “I mean, in life-or-death situations?”

She gave a firm shake of her head. “There are other ways, Nate. There are always other ways.” She drew in a breath and Nate wondered if she felt like she’d been a little harsh, a little too reprimanding with him. “Look at it this way,” she said, her tone gentler. “Lying could get you out of a lot of situations. But is it always the best solution? No. So you don’t take the easy way out. You find a better way. And I’ve always been able to find one, Nate. Just because you have a gift doesn’t mean you use it.”

He nodded, accepting her answer. She continued to meet his eyes until it made him uncomfortable and he started to fidget slightly. He had no idea what was going on in her head.

“You have to do something,” she finally said.

“What’s that?”

“You have to tell Max what you did.”

Nate shared a glance with Alyssa. “We weren’t sure what we should do. We didn’t know if the others should know…”

“Secrets will break us apart,” Liz said, a hint of remorse in her tone. “Keeping this one is only going to lead to trouble.”

He felt a rush of shame. To tell the others would be to reveal what a screw-up he was. It would also reveal his powers of manipulation, something he wasn’t entirely proud of. After telling his story and letting them know he could mindwarp, who in their right mind would trust him again?

The feeling of shame dissipated as a sense of duplicity set in. Who was Liz to tell him he couldn’t keep his time travels a secret? After all, she’d just told him that she’d been keeping her mindwarping abilities to herself for the last eighteen years. Besides, all of them had secrets – Michael and Alyssa certainly hadn’t volunteered the cone’s use to everyone, Liz was hiding her powers with Max as an accomplice. Only heaven knew what Isabel was hiding.

“Max will understand,” Liz said. “After all, he changed the past once himself, remember?”

*****

That night, Alyssa and Nate lay together on their bed; the lights were out in the loft, with only the bulbs from the Christmas tree illuminating the area. Beside Nate, Alyssa was lying on her stomach, nude, relaxing after making love. He was lying on his back, a sheet thrown haphazardly over his waist.

Sighing contentedly, Alyssa rolled onto her side and put her hand in the center of his chest, making a back and forth motion with her fingers. He stared up at the ceiling, lost in thought.

“Nate,” she said softly.

He rolled his head to the side, regarded her silently.

“Why are you insisting on using condoms?” Her dark eyes were inquisitive and apprehensive all at once.

“I just want to be careful,” he said gently. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

She worked her mouth uncertainly. “Did something happen to me? In that other life?”

Nate tried to lie, but found he couldn’t. It had been ingrained into him to always be truthful, to be an honest man. His father had taught him that – to be a man was to accept your actions and be truthful with the world. Since he couldn’t lie, he changed the subject.

“I want you to meet my parents,” he said. “I want you to come home with me for Christmas.”

Alyssa propped herself up on one elbow, her hair falling in a golden curtain over her shoulder. “You know Mom wants me to come home to New Mexico.”

“I know. But you were just there for Thanksgiving.” Reaching out, he touched her hair. “I want you to meet them. Because someday, I’m going to marry you, Alyssa Guerin. You should know your in-laws before that day comes.”

Alyssa grinned and leaned in to kiss him long and hard. But when she pulled back, one eyebrow lifted in suspicion. “I know you, Nate, and you just skirted my question.”

He looked back to the ceiling, adjusted the sheet over his waist.

She frowned, scooted over and slid her arm across his chest. “Wow,” she breathed. “Something did happen.”

Nate glanced down at her, his blue eyes serious. And nodded his head.

Alyssa bit her lip. “You don’t want to tell me, do you?”

He blinked slowly, then shook his head in response.

A long silence ensued, during which she looked a little spooked. Finally, she said, “Do you have a venereal disease?”

In spite of the seriousness of the situation, Nate laughed. “No.”

“No? Oh.”

She looked away for another moment, then settled back into her spot, her hands folded beneath her cheek. Nate rolled over onto his side, mirroring her position.

“I got pregnant,” she concluded quietly.

In answer to her statement, he put his hand on her shoulder and caressed it in comfort. A single tear bubbled up her eye. Then she drew in a deep breath of acceptance.

“You don’t want to have children with me?” she asked.

Nate felt like someone had driven a knife into his heart and then clove it in two. “Oh, sweetie, that couldn’t be farther from the truth.”

“Then why did you stop…” Her words drifted off and he could only imagine the scenarios that were running through her head. Was she thinking she lost the baby? Was she thinking that their enemies had done something to it? Or to her to make her lose it? Finally, she let out a small sigh.

“You’re right, Nate. Someday we’ll be married. And someday I will give you a whole bunch of kids.” Her words had the tone of a personal pep talk, a self-urging to let the issue lie and move past it.

“That’s right,” he agreed, smiling tenderly at her. “Those things will happen.”

He reached for her, kissed her forehead, then tucked her head beneath his chin and cradled her in his arms. Someday they would have that life.

But tomorrow he needed to tell Max what he’d done.

tbc

Part Twenty-Six

As the sun rose in the east, Nate lay on his side, his arm wrapped around Alyssa spooned against him. His head was propped up on one elbow as he watched the rectangle of the window take hazy shape, then full clarity as the sunlight drifted in through the glass. He’d missed this, missed lying on this bed and watching the sun come up over the ocean while Alyssa slept soundlessly beside him. In a protective gesture, he tightened his arm around her bare waist. He was never going to be without her again.

Nate had been awake all night. Long after she had drifted to sleep, he’d lain awake, thinking about what was to come. He felt as though he were on a precipice again, on the verge of some type of change. The gnawing in his stomach hadn’t accompanied that feeling, however, leading him to believe that this time change wasn’t going to be as devastating as the last time it had visited.

How was Max going to react? Had Liz already told him? Nate doubted that – as close as Max and Liz were, she still understood what her responsibility was and what wasn’t. It was up to Nate to tell his father what had happened not so long ago. The reaction was the unknown.

Max was more than capable of scolding his son, as Nate had learned in his now-altered future. While he would forever be a kind and understanding man, Nate imagined that if he’d turned out to be a punk kid, Max would have laid him out on his ass, no questions asked. It was that little bit of knowledge that was making Nate uneasy. Not that he was afraid of Max…it was just that having Max ashamed of him or disappointed in him was something he couldn’t bear.

When had that happened? At what point had Nate started to want to please his biological father? Being raised to respect people and be polite, he’d always remembered his manners and tried to think of others’ feelings, but this went beyond that. For some reason, Nate had developed a strong desire to make Max proud of him.

Watching the sunlight unveil wispy clouds outside of his window, Nate frowned slightly. Maybe he felt the obligation to make up for Tess’s actions, to tell the world, “See? I’m not like her.” Maybe that’s why he felt like he needed to prove himself, to please Max. Inside, Nate knew he was never going to get away from his mother’s legacy.

Against him, Alyssa stirred, sighing softly. She was waking up and that brought a light smile to Nate’s lips. He wanted to kiss her, hold her, maybe ask for an early-morning treat, but he put his patience in check and let her awake slowly, on her own terms.

The smile faded as Nate remembered that dream he’d always had – the one about being free and walking in the real world like a normal human being. The last time he’d had it, in the past future, it had been bastardized by the image of Alyssa being sucked into the sidewalk and disappearing from his life forever. He wasn’t ever going to let that happen. He tightened his arm around her again, circled her belly button with his thumb.

“Mmmm,” she said, stretching. She yawned, blinked, squirmed closer to him. “You didn’t sleep,” she mumbled.

One corner of Nate’s mouth lifted into a smile. She could tell. She knew him better than he knew himself. “No,” he confirmed.

“What’s wrong?” She sighed, but stretched again, a sure sign she was becoming coherent again.

“Nothing.” He kissed the side of her head, laid a whisper of a kiss on her bare shoulder.

“Liar,” she snorted lightly.

They were silent for a few moments. Nate caressed her flat belly, thought about exploring lower, but had other things on his mind at the moment.

“You said once that I was the one,” he said softly. “You acted like I was going to be the savior of our people or something.”

“Mmm hmm,” she agreed.

“Do you still feel that way?”

“Mmm hmm.”

Nate’s brow furrowed. “How can you? After what happened?”

She drew in a deep breath, then rolled over to face him. Her cheeks were flushed, pink and healthy, her eyes sleepy slits. She was beautiful. Tenderly, she touched his cheek. “Everyone plays a part, Nate,” she said with wisdom beyond her years. “Maybe your part was to change what had happened. Maybe your part was to make what happened happen. How do we know?”

Nate pondered that. It was true that all actions had some effect eventually. If Tess hadn’t left earth, she wouldn’t have returned with the cone. If she hadn’t returned to earth, they never would have had the cone. If Michael hadn’t been obsessed with the cone, they never would have known its use – and even then, if Tess hadn’t mindwarped Alex Whitman, Michael wouldn’t have found the answer. If Michael hadn’t told Alyssa about the cone, she never would have been able to tell Nate how to use it. If Nate hadn’t done what he had, then he never would have needed the cone…

Alyssa was smiling at him, her fingers brushing over the stubble on his cheeks. “See? You’re never going to fully understand your part in all of this. I’m sure Alex never knew that decoding the book would be important twenty years after his death.”

That was true. One pebble – many ripples.

“What time are we going over to Uncle Max’s house?”

“Noon,” Nate said.

“And what time is it now?”

He glanced at the clock. “Seven thirty.”

One of Alyssa’s eyebrows rose devilishly. “That’s a long time…to do what I want.” And with that, she slid beneath the covers, her full lips finding and capturing him.

“Sweet mother of God,” he gasped, rolling onto his back. Yep – he’d missed waking up like this.

******

Max listened attentively while Nate told his story of plans gone wrong, ambushes and death. He listened objectively, his soulful eyes questioning and sympathetic. He didn’t say a word while his son talked for nearly an hour, Alyssa at his side. He didn’t say a word until Nate explained that he’d altered time.

Then Max hung his head, covering his eyes with his hand. Nate looked at Alyssa in worry. Not the reaction he’d expected, but then again he hadn’t known what reaction to expect. Liz, seated on the couch beside Max, watched him carefully while a long silence ensued in the living room. It was so quiet that Nate thought he could hear Emily breathing down the hall in her crib.

Finally, Max dropped his hand and regarded his son. “Nate, I can’t condone what you did.”

A warm rush of shame raced through Nate and he dropped his gaze to the floor. Almost simultaneously, Alyssa’s soft hand slid into his.

“Max,” Liz said in warning.

He ignored her. “Being able to change the past is a power that shouldn’t be taken lightly.”

“I didn’t take it lightly,” Nate said to the carpet.

“I’m not finished,” Max replied, his tone without accusation. “While I can’t agree with your choice to do what you did, I can’t fault you for it because…”

Nate looked up as Max’s words faded away.

“…Because I would have done the same thing.”

A little smile played on Liz’s face.

Max held up both of his hands, palms forward. “I don’t want to know how you did it. Please don’t tell me.”

At that, Alyssa grinned – Michael had been right in assuming Max had a weakness for wanting to change past mistakes and didn’t need any encouragement to do so.

“Do you believe me?” Nate asked. “Do you believe that all of that happened?”

Max nodded. “Of course I do, Nate. Why would you lie to me?”

The shame Nate had felt earlier was replaced with a burst of pride. At least as far as Max was concerned, he’d shown some integrity, enough that a story as outrageous as the one he’d just relayed was deemed believable.

“There’s something else, Max,” Liz said, giving Nate a pointed look.

Nate gulped, looked back to the carpet.

“What’s that?” Max looked curiously at his son, then back to his wife. “Is everyone okay?”

Liz laughed lightly. “As far as I know. It’s just that Nate has developed a new power.”

Max’s dark eyebrows lifted quickly. “Oh?” He looked to his son again. “Nate?”

Alyssa tightened her grip on his hand. “It’s okay, sweetie,” she whispered.

“I…uh…I can…” God, he couldn’t say it.

“Nate can mindwarp,” Liz announced bluntly.

Nate’s ears burned crimson. Silence prompted him to give a quick glance in Max’s direction. The man looked like a stranger had just walked up to him and slapped him – hard. Nate returned his eyes to the floor. Integrity lost so soon?

“I’m going to help him,” Liz added, like there hadn’t been a huge uncomfortable silence only moments before.

Max blinked and looked uncomprehendingly at her.

“You know, teach him how to control it,” she clarified.

“Oh. That’s…great.” Animation returned to Max’s face like someone had jabbed him with a cattle prod. “Nate, are you okay?”

Nate looked up, a little surprised at the question.

“How are you dealing with that?” Max’s brow was furrowed in concern.

Nate couldn’t lie. He held up his hand and made a side to side motion with it – so-so.

Getting up from the couch, Max walked over to Nate and sat on the ottoman before him, put a fatherly hand on his knee. “Hey, look at me.”

Nate found it difficult to meet his father’s eyes, but did it anyway.

“It’s okay,” Max assured. “I was kind of expecting this. Listen to me – it doesn’t make you a bad person. I know you have a good heart, Nate. I know that you’re a strong man. I trust that with this new power you’ll do that right thing. And Liz and I are going to be here to help you with it. I promise you that.”

Nate smiled weakly.

Alyssa rested her chin on his shoulder. “Me, too,” she grinned.

Nate smiled at her and laid his head against hers.

The happy family moment was interrupted by the ring of the phone. Max gave his son an affectionate pat on the side of the head and reached for the receiver.

“Hey, Michael,” he said, smiling into the phone. Alyssa beamed. “What’s going on?”

After a few moments, Nate realized that Max’s demeanor had changed drastically and that the conversation was decidedly one-sided. Max swiveled in his seat and looked at Liz, who looked like she was going to be ill.

“I think…” she began. “I think Emily’s up.” She rose and disappeared down the hallway, her steps stilted.

Nate looked to Alyssa, who looked like someone had eaten the last piece of her birthday cake. He didn’t have to ask – Max was being called away. Right before Christmas – his daughter’s first Christmas. Nate felt a pang of remorse for the family, finally understood that this was what they went through every time the phone ring.

But in the timeline he’d changed, had Max not answered that phone? Had Max ignored Michael’s warning of trouble because he’d already bought into Nate’s plan to go public? Is this where things had really gone wrong? Perhaps if Max had dealt with the crisis, none of that other stuff would have happened.

His shoulders stooped in defeat, Max ended his conversation and hung up the phone. He stared at the floor, his hands folded between his knees. Down the hall, Nate could hear Liz crying softly.

“When?” Alyssa asked.

“Tomorrow,” Max said, looking up at her apologetically.

As Nate looked at his father, he remembered that shapeshifter who had so diligently tormented them. He knew that she was who Max was going to meet, and before he could stop himself, he blurted, “I’m going with you.”

Max and Alyssa recoiled at the same time.

“What?” Max said. “No.”

Nate nodded his head eagerly. “I have to, Max. One day I’m going to have to do this. And I’m not going to have a clue as to what I should do. Remember what I told you about what happened in the other time – I don’t want something like that to happen again.”

There was pride on Max’s handsome face. His son was accepting who he was, what role he would someday play, the fact that he was indeed a Prince of Antar.

Nate glanced at Alyssa, who had silent tears in her dark eyes. His heart clenched and nearly burst in two. He’d been wrong – he would leave her side.

Because he had to. It was his duty.

He gave her the same apologetic look his father had given her. Then he turned to Max and made one last appeal.

“Please,” he said. “Teach me what you know.” Then one corner of his mouth lifted humorously. “I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi like my father.”

Without reluctance, Max nodded his head.

Nate should have been filled with apprehension, but he wasn’t. For the first time in a very long time, he knew he’d made the right decision.

THE END

*Borrowed a little line from Star Wars