Roswell Fanatics

~Isabel~

As much as I want to go, I can't. One look at Max's expression, watching him and even listening to the tone of his voice, I know that I can't leave my brother.

"I think so, yeah," He responds to my offer of telling our parents about another overnight. "I think we all need a little time together and sort this through." I can tell from his expression that he doesn't want me to go, even so, I'm touched and reminded yet again of one of the many reasons I love my brother, "If you're sure you don't want to stay and you're not coming back, do you want me to come home later?"

Before I can respond, Michael shatters something in his anger at my brother and I watch as he walks over to Michael, "Michael," he says, "Nobody wants it this way. Not even if it were with the people we wanted. But we're going to get through it."

He pauses a moment and I can tell that he's not completely happy with what he's about to say. "I just hope that when the times comes, you'll treat Liz more gently than that."

"WAIT! BOTH OF YOU JUST CHILL!" Maria yells, stepping in front of Max, "I tried to tell you all that this was all crazy, but no... we all signed the damn thing anyway. We wondered what the hell she wanted with babies from us, well now we have our damn answer! I don't think this has anything to do with children... it's about tearing us all apart, all of us. How in the hell are any of us going to be able to be the same! This will destroy all of us....all of our relationships. Knowing that the one you love was with someone else with destroy that, we'll never be able to look at each other again.... and then, then knowing that is with our best friend, well there goes that relationship too! Shit!" I turn just in time to see her kick the table before she walks over to where Michael is sitting and kneels before him.

"I don't want to do this Michael... I don't. Screw the rest of the world your more important." She says this and I can't help but look over toward Alex and wish that I had given over enough courage to admit my real interest in him, but now..... now it was too late. Even if I admitted it, nothing could come of it.

Michael does something I had never thought I'd see him do, a gentle gesture of running his hands through Maria's hair before motioning to her which caused her to move and sit on his lap. That simple sight caused me to feel as though something rather strange was coming from this horrible situation. I knew what a rare thing it was for Michael to show such open affection and I couldn't help but feel some joy in seeing it.

“We’ve gotta figure out a way out of this” Michael says loud enough for the rest of us.

"Before she came back, I was about to assure Kyle 'cause I thought it was Liz. Now I'll tell you. With my powers, I can be sure that it 'happens' the first time. I can promise you that." Max attempts to reassure Michael.

"You know," he starts slowly, his voice louder, "There might be a way to fullfill the contract without that..."

"This isn't real, this isn't real, . . . THIS ISN'T REAL, THIS ISN'T REAL, THIS ISN'T REAL! . . . " I suddenly hear Liz repeating over and over and turn to see her really losing it. I stood frozen in my spot because I don't remember ever seeing her get this bad about anything. Maria I could have pictured doing that, rocking back and forth like that, but Liz....
"I want to wake up now...I don't want to be in Oz anymore..."

After taking a moment to return my thoughts to where they'd been moments before and making a firm decision in my mind, I shake my head. "Max, I'll come back. I'll get some things for the both of us, tell mom and dad that we're both going to be out again and come back." I glance around the room, wanting to talk to Alex or even Tess about this.. a part of me also thinks I should talk to Kyle, assure him that I know this wasn't something he had expected. Assure him that I'm not going to hold this situation against him... but what would I really say?

"Does anyone want to ride with me?" I figure if someone does, maybe it'll make things easier in the long run. Someone to talk to and maybe some way to get my mind off of these things or actually get my mind straight. I didn't want to see Liz like this, I didn't even want to think about Miss Practical going postal.

*Max*

I watch Michael carefully, waiting for some sort of reaction as I'm trying so very hard not to picture him and Liz together. Still, if I'm right and we can get around this, obeying the letter of the contract, but not the spirit... But he's not the one who speaks next. Liz is; although it's much more like a complete meltdown.

She's screaming and staring at her hands. Then she wraps her arms around herself and just starts rocking.

"Liz," I whisper as I watch her. I feel like I'm on verge of doing the same thing. My veneer of control is just so very thin. I can't believe that I've done this to them all.

I want to go to Liz. I need to go to her. I hesitate for just a moment, feeling Tess's eyes on me and wondering if maybe I'm not the one to do this. But I shake it off. Just like that day in the Crashdown when I saved her life, I have to do this.

I move, closing the distance between us as I hear Isabel's voice. "Max, I'll come back. I'll get some things for the both of us, tell mom and dad that we're both going to be out again and come back." she says. I nod, but I don't look in her direction. She finishes by asking if anyone wants to go with her. I shake my head as I kneel besides Liz.

"I need to stay," I say, almost to myself although it is meant as an answer to Isabel's question. I fall to my knees beside Liz, immediately wrapping my arms around her. I want to break down, too, but I can't. "I'm so sorry, Liz. I'm so sorry."

Liz Parker

I continue to rock back and forth until I feel a pair of muscled arms encircle me. It shocks me from my stupor and I look towards to my side and see Max.

I hear Max say, "I'm so sorry, Liz. I'm so sorry."

I can see the barely controlled madness in his eyes too. Now I know I'm not alone on standing on the prepice of a dark abyss of insanity. And somehow that comforts me, comforts me in a way that I'm able to take one small step back and regain some control...enough that if I don't think of Michael...of Michael...my mind shys from the very thought of his name. I stop trying to think about what Ulyssa demanded of us and try and focus my mind on only the present of Max's arms around me, comforting me. I raise my arms up and hug Max back as much as I can. We both sit there trying to offer each other as much solace in a tight embrace that I hope never ends.

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ooc: I'll try and post as best I can, and thank you for being so understanding. Though sometimes I think for me, writing can be the best carthatic experience at a time like this.

OOC -- I know I could put up another Max post, but I've been kinda waiting for some responses from someone-else in the group. anybody here?

ooc: I know the feeling.... I'm waiting for others to post too... not wanting to assume anything and all with Iz.

Maria

I watch everyone is awe as I sit there in Michael's lap, his hands running across my face. I can hear everyone talking, but it's all entering one ear and exiting through the other. I was trapped in my own thoughts. I looked around at the faces of all my friends and then into the eyes of Michael, the one and only love of my life. What were we all suppose to do? Sacrifice everyone else's lives or sacrifice our love? Who the hell was suppose to be making these decisions before they even graduate high school?!?! This was all too much, I couldn't handle it. I knew in the end we would all have no choice.... I would have to sleep and having a baby with my best friends lover while she did the same with mine...but I sure as hell was going to go down fighting. I looked at Michael again and then at Max and Liz. I'd be damn if Michael was about to be Liz's first, that just wasn't going to happen as long as I was living. All these thoughts just kept swimming in my head. I layed my head down on Michael's shoulder and shut my eyes as I tried to push every thought out of my head.

Sorry, I have to think more for this so that's why it's taken me longer to catch up...

~*TESS*~

I try to occupy my mind with necessities so I won't think about how screwed up our lives have become. Sleeping arrangements and bedding is banal enough to be safe. I won't get angry at Lizard over there making eyes at Max, I won't bemoan our situation. I'll just get on with what needs to be done. That's what a queen does. I'll get the job done. Kyle helps by agreeing with me and offering to sleep on the floor. I try not to grind my teeth again as Max says we have to protect Liz and Maria, please, like she couldn't just manipulate an attacker the way she does everyone else.
Kyle and Max discuss when Jim's returning and I start to lay out bedding for the boys. After a second Max comes to help me and I give a grateful smile but he seems so wrapped up in his thoughts I'm not sure he noticed. I'm about to say something, anything to strike up conversation with him, see if he's ok, but Ulyssa appears at just that moment so I think it better to keep quiet. She laughs and the sound is chilling, I think I see Max shiver, but I'm not sure. I know that I'm not excited to see her and I'm not the speaker for the group.
I do have to say though, Max is masterful in his negotiations. He is calm and polite even though we all know he wants to rip her head off (or, more realistically, let Michael rip her head off). I'm very proud of him, for the king he was and will be again, and the leader that he is every day.
Maria of course ruins everything, as usual, by opening her mouth. One thing that I would think she would learn is when to keep quiet, but she never does. It wouldn't be so bad either if she made sense, but all she ever does in these situations is ramble incoherently. I really don't get Michael's taste in women, and I really don't get it when he pushes her out of the way and takes a hit for her. I mean, Maria? She's not the master manipulater that Liz Parker is, but she is well more then twice as annoying.
Michael goes down and Max moves to help him, logically pointing out that Ulyssa is only hurting herself by hurting us. He makes the connection and begins the healing but I can see from the look in her eyes that Isabel has already had the same thoughts I did, that he might not have enough energy to do so. I move closer, very carefully and place a hand lightly on his back, giving him energy, but not enough for it to register, for him, or for Isabel. As soon as he takes a breath I move away again slightly, for some reason not wanting anyone to know that I tried to help. He collapses in her arms and the rest of us are subdued, not sure where this goes from here. Michael and Maria comfort each other and after a moment Max sits up, ready to take charge again. Finally the crazy hag signs the contract and as Max says her words it becomes binding.

Immediately it becomes dark again and I for one start to become annoyed. Can't she just tell us what she wants instead of playing all these stupid head games? As we emerge again into the light I find myself part of another line up, this time facing Alex Whitman, geek extraordinaire.

I can't hear anything over the roaring in my ears but instinctively I know. As a pot calling a kettle black, I understand when someone is fucking with your head. I've done it enough times to recognize it being done to me. The problem is that in this situation she holds all the cards and we don't even know what game we are playing. I feel something inside of me that had started to thaw harden up again and I decide that I'm tired of playing human. I stare, unseeing, in front of me, considering the last year that I have spent, trying to understand human ways, and to be part of the group. Wasted! All wasted!

I'm startled when an ashtray explodes on the coffee table. Max, trying to lead, as usual takes the superior tone Michael, nobody wants it this way. Not even if it were with the people we wanted. But we're going to get through it. I find myself starting to distrust him, and his optimistic words. How does he know if we'll get through it. It wasn't until I came here that I lost Nesado, or the FBI caught us, and I definitely wouldn't be here. Maybe being part of this group isn't worth it. Maybe I should take up the standing offer for my return to Antar.

As Michael, Max and Maria play out their human melodrama I draw my arms around myself, suddenly cold and removed as if watching everything from really high up. But, then, the most surprising thing happens. Little Liz Parker loses it! I mean, seriously off the deep end loses it. One minute she's standing there, normal, like the rest of us, and the next she's on the floor, totally Rain Man and yelling about Oz!?
And, even better, Isabel tells Max that she's leaving "She'll be back" (hell I know I wouldn't be, but then I'm not even the queen am I?) Max barely notices of course though, totally wrapped up in mental minxy over there.

I can't stand all the emotion in the room and I realise that going with Isabel is the perfect excuse to get out of here for a while. "I'll go with you Isabel." I feel Max's look, sharp, on my cheek, but I studiously avoid looking at him and just try to look as normal as possible while Isabel considers.

I'm here, I'll read all by the end of the week and post. Don't worry.

*Max*

Liz hugs me tightly and I bite my lip, squeezing my eyes shut. This is so hard. I've never seen her like this. Knowing it's slammed her like this only makes me feel it more. How can we do this? How can I make them do it? Liz? I want to stay here, hugging her for hours, but I can't. I have to keep it together for everyone. I haven't the faintest idea how, but I have to do it.

Suddenly, I hear Tess's voice, saying that she's going with Isabel. My eyes snap open and I look in her direction. I know she has to be upset about me and Liz like this. She'd been so supportive of me a few minutes ago, and I know this is hurting her, too.

"Thanks, Tess," I tell her. I'm glad someone's going to be with Isabel. She's as strong as anyone I know, but I'm sure she's feeling all this, too. I can't get up right now, 'tho. Not when Liz is still so visibly broken. "See you then," I finish lamely. I don't know what else to say. I have no words of comfort right now.

.

~*TESS*~

Max barely looks at me when I volunteer to go with Isabel. He barely speaks really. Thanks, Tess. See you then.

Hurt and angry I just nod, clenching my teeth. I'm supposed to be the queen. I'm supposed to be his partner. He's supposed to look after me, but once again Miss Elizabeth Parker is in the way. Suddenly I'm really tired, just overwhelmed and all I want to do is climb in bed fully clothed and hide under the bed covers. Instead I turn to Isabel.

"Should we go then?"