Re: Falling (AU, M/L Teen) 12/17/2009
Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 11:07 am
Three miles west
“Max, what's wrong?” It was the third time she'd asked him that question. His response was no more helpful than the preceding times.
“I told you, nothing is wrong. I just didn't sleep well last night....”
When she'd awakened alone in the cave she'd known that whatever had bothered him yesterday was bothering him still. As the morning had progressed it had quickly become obvious that things were even worse between them – and she had no idea why.
He had been distant all morning. No – worse than that – it seemed like her presence was actually unpleasant to him. It wasn't anything he said and she knew he was trying to act normal – but that was just it. It was an act. Perhaps he didn't have the social skills to realize what his body language was saying – but she did.
Besides – she'd catch him in unguarded moments when he didn't know she was watching and the expression on his face – it was just like that day at the quarry. Like the expression on his face at the quarry AFTER she had thrown the ring away.
But for Liz Parker, that was a lifetime away. She had been a girl then – wanting only her own happiness. She thought back to that day guiltily. She'd been petulant and cruel to him – and what she had done when school had started – when it was so obvious he wanted to be her lab partner - and friend – that had been cruel and stupid too. She should have accepted that Max just wasn't ready. She should have cared enough to wait for him to be ready – to give him encouragement rather than cause him pain. Somehow, she'd done it again. Done something - said something - reminded him of something. She wasn't sure how – and he certainly wasn't going to tell.
But Liz wasn't the same girl she'd been ten months before – in fact Liz wasn't a girl at all. The child that was Liz Parker had died somewhere in the first ten thousand feet of that fall., Facing death she'd been forced to decide what was really important in those precious seconds and somehow she'd looked in to her own soul then and found the answer. She had wanted to be with him then – to be close to him and let him know how much she cared in those few fleeting seconds of life that remained to them. Liz Parker the girl had died during that fall and Liz Parker the woman had been born.
So she wasn't going to be that petulant little bitch who had flung the ring away – she wasn't going to be the cruel devious person who had seen his hopes to resume their friendship and chosen Pam Troy to partner with instead - just for the joy of seeing the crushed look in his eyes. No, she was seeing that crushed look in his eyes now, and his pain was her pain now because Liz Parker was no longer a child and she had made up her mind.
Max Evans was what was most important to her – more than being the perfect Miss Parker, more than Harvard, more than life itself. Above all else, she wanted Max to be happy.
Of course, she wanted more – she supposed she had always wanted more since that dream of the two of them – and their daughter. But if she could never have that, she would have even settled for his friendship – just the friendship they'd had together for those few wonderful years. But everything about how he was acting told her she was losing even that.
She had to know why he was like this – because he hadn't been like this two days ago. When he'd shared his secret with her they had been more than friends. Horrible as the airplane crash was, she wouldn't have traded those first few days for anything. Why exactly he had changed, she didn't know. But whatever the reason – whatever was making him this way – she had to understand it because it was threatening to drive them apart and - somehow she knew - threatening Max himself. That she couldn't allow.
They had walked for a mile – when she saw it. The lava had formed gas pockets as it cooled, and over the years some gas pockets had broken - exposing deep holes and clefts in the lava. Ahead was just such a hole perhaps two foot deep but only about four inches in diameter. Max walked past it – seemingly as oblivious to it as he was to her. She winced at the thought but she knew she would do it anyway. However much it would hurt, the pain would have to be less than the pain of never understanding the reason for his rejection of her. Veering slowly away from him, she walked straight toward the hole in the ground.
Max looked up at the mountains to the east – the emptiness growing in his heart with each step. In another day of hiking they would be in the foothills and out of the malpais. Just ahead he could see what must be an old campsite. They were near enough to the edge of the lava flow that someone had packed in and camped overnight carrying firewood for a fire, the charred remains clearly visible in the small clearing ahead – the plants noticeably thicker than the almost bare lava that they had walked through for nearly a week – even a few small trees with branches large enough that they might have their own fire.
Soon they would reach the road that separated them from the Sangre de Christa mountains ahead and they would be back to civilization. That would mark the end of their journey and – he was sure – the last he would ever see of Liz.
He didn't blame her. It was – he guessed – normal that she'd want her own kind. Maybe if he'd been honest with her to begin with he could have at least stayed her friend ... but even that likely wouldn't have worked. Somehow it had become painful for him too .. painful to be near her but know he could never really be the special one in her life - to know that dream last night could never be real. He simply couldn't bear the pain of watching her and knowing she could never really be his.
Perhaps Max should have talked to her - told her how he felt, but then he was only in middle school. Even a 'normal' middle school student with normal social skills would have never have told a fellow student that he was depressed that he'd never be the love of her life - never be the one to share forever with - and Max's social skills were far below normal. No, the only path he could see was to flee - to get away from the pain of wanting so badly and realizing his want would never be fulfilled. He would get Liz back home safely and then he'd leave - go somewhere - anywhere - where he wouldn't have to see happen what would be to painful to endure - when she finally found that special someone. That would, he was sure, be best for both of them.
Liz built up her momentum as much as she could – at least without attracting Max's attention. Her shoe fit into the hole with only inches of clearance and plunged down instantly to mid-calf before her forward progress levered the shin against the eastern edge of the hole and her heel against the western side eighteen inches below. The rest was simple physics – a matter of leverage and momentum – she'd always been good at that – if not quite as good as Max - she thought in the last milliseconds before the sharp lava edge ground into her shin bone and the nerve endings of the bone screamed in protest as the momentum of her body tried to push the bone past its elastic limit. Yes, today her knowledge of physics would be useful – but not at all pleasant.
Max actually heard the snapping of the bone before he heard Liz utter a cry of pain. He turned back instantly and his eyes filled with horror. She had stepped in a hole in the lava and it had trapped her right lower leg. Her momentum had carried her onward and she'd fallen forward, breaking her right tibia as she fell. Her face was pale and she was almost quivering with pain.
He ran back to her and pulled her straight up, disentangling her leg from the pit in the lava as gently as he could. The lower right leg was deformed – part of the bone actually protruding a foot above her heel - the blood trickling down her leg from the open fracture. Liz's face looked an ashen gray despite their near week of sunburn and her breathing came in short gasps.
He carried her to the small clearing and laid her gently down in the open are of the old campsite. He placed his hands around her ankle and looked at her frightened face. “Liz, you have to look at me – look at my eyes,” he said as he used his telekinesis to put traction on the break. He connected with her -pulling into his own mind all of the pain that he could.
He'd promised himself that he would see her safely to civilization before he left her forever – he would not fail her now - he told himself as he used his telekinesis to straighten her leg and strengthened his mental connection to heal the damage the jagged bone edges and sharp lava had done to her beautiful leg.
As the connection formed - Liz shoved her mind deep inside his looking for the reason behind Max's pain - all but oblivious to her own.....
“Max, what's wrong?” It was the third time she'd asked him that question. His response was no more helpful than the preceding times.
“I told you, nothing is wrong. I just didn't sleep well last night....”
When she'd awakened alone in the cave she'd known that whatever had bothered him yesterday was bothering him still. As the morning had progressed it had quickly become obvious that things were even worse between them – and she had no idea why.
He had been distant all morning. No – worse than that – it seemed like her presence was actually unpleasant to him. It wasn't anything he said and she knew he was trying to act normal – but that was just it. It was an act. Perhaps he didn't have the social skills to realize what his body language was saying – but she did.
Besides – she'd catch him in unguarded moments when he didn't know she was watching and the expression on his face – it was just like that day at the quarry. Like the expression on his face at the quarry AFTER she had thrown the ring away.
But for Liz Parker, that was a lifetime away. She had been a girl then – wanting only her own happiness. She thought back to that day guiltily. She'd been petulant and cruel to him – and what she had done when school had started – when it was so obvious he wanted to be her lab partner - and friend – that had been cruel and stupid too. She should have accepted that Max just wasn't ready. She should have cared enough to wait for him to be ready – to give him encouragement rather than cause him pain. Somehow, she'd done it again. Done something - said something - reminded him of something. She wasn't sure how – and he certainly wasn't going to tell.
But Liz wasn't the same girl she'd been ten months before – in fact Liz wasn't a girl at all. The child that was Liz Parker had died somewhere in the first ten thousand feet of that fall., Facing death she'd been forced to decide what was really important in those precious seconds and somehow she'd looked in to her own soul then and found the answer. She had wanted to be with him then – to be close to him and let him know how much she cared in those few fleeting seconds of life that remained to them. Liz Parker the girl had died during that fall and Liz Parker the woman had been born.
So she wasn't going to be that petulant little bitch who had flung the ring away – she wasn't going to be the cruel devious person who had seen his hopes to resume their friendship and chosen Pam Troy to partner with instead - just for the joy of seeing the crushed look in his eyes. No, she was seeing that crushed look in his eyes now, and his pain was her pain now because Liz Parker was no longer a child and she had made up her mind.
Max Evans was what was most important to her – more than being the perfect Miss Parker, more than Harvard, more than life itself. Above all else, she wanted Max to be happy.
Of course, she wanted more – she supposed she had always wanted more since that dream of the two of them – and their daughter. But if she could never have that, she would have even settled for his friendship – just the friendship they'd had together for those few wonderful years. But everything about how he was acting told her she was losing even that.
She had to know why he was like this – because he hadn't been like this two days ago. When he'd shared his secret with her they had been more than friends. Horrible as the airplane crash was, she wouldn't have traded those first few days for anything. Why exactly he had changed, she didn't know. But whatever the reason – whatever was making him this way – she had to understand it because it was threatening to drive them apart and - somehow she knew - threatening Max himself. That she couldn't allow.
They had walked for a mile – when she saw it. The lava had formed gas pockets as it cooled, and over the years some gas pockets had broken - exposing deep holes and clefts in the lava. Ahead was just such a hole perhaps two foot deep but only about four inches in diameter. Max walked past it – seemingly as oblivious to it as he was to her. She winced at the thought but she knew she would do it anyway. However much it would hurt, the pain would have to be less than the pain of never understanding the reason for his rejection of her. Veering slowly away from him, she walked straight toward the hole in the ground.
Max looked up at the mountains to the east – the emptiness growing in his heart with each step. In another day of hiking they would be in the foothills and out of the malpais. Just ahead he could see what must be an old campsite. They were near enough to the edge of the lava flow that someone had packed in and camped overnight carrying firewood for a fire, the charred remains clearly visible in the small clearing ahead – the plants noticeably thicker than the almost bare lava that they had walked through for nearly a week – even a few small trees with branches large enough that they might have their own fire.
Soon they would reach the road that separated them from the Sangre de Christa mountains ahead and they would be back to civilization. That would mark the end of their journey and – he was sure – the last he would ever see of Liz.
He didn't blame her. It was – he guessed – normal that she'd want her own kind. Maybe if he'd been honest with her to begin with he could have at least stayed her friend ... but even that likely wouldn't have worked. Somehow it had become painful for him too .. painful to be near her but know he could never really be the special one in her life - to know that dream last night could never be real. He simply couldn't bear the pain of watching her and knowing she could never really be his.
Perhaps Max should have talked to her - told her how he felt, but then he was only in middle school. Even a 'normal' middle school student with normal social skills would have never have told a fellow student that he was depressed that he'd never be the love of her life - never be the one to share forever with - and Max's social skills were far below normal. No, the only path he could see was to flee - to get away from the pain of wanting so badly and realizing his want would never be fulfilled. He would get Liz back home safely and then he'd leave - go somewhere - anywhere - where he wouldn't have to see happen what would be to painful to endure - when she finally found that special someone. That would, he was sure, be best for both of them.
Liz built up her momentum as much as she could – at least without attracting Max's attention. Her shoe fit into the hole with only inches of clearance and plunged down instantly to mid-calf before her forward progress levered the shin against the eastern edge of the hole and her heel against the western side eighteen inches below. The rest was simple physics – a matter of leverage and momentum – she'd always been good at that – if not quite as good as Max - she thought in the last milliseconds before the sharp lava edge ground into her shin bone and the nerve endings of the bone screamed in protest as the momentum of her body tried to push the bone past its elastic limit. Yes, today her knowledge of physics would be useful – but not at all pleasant.
Max actually heard the snapping of the bone before he heard Liz utter a cry of pain. He turned back instantly and his eyes filled with horror. She had stepped in a hole in the lava and it had trapped her right lower leg. Her momentum had carried her onward and she'd fallen forward, breaking her right tibia as she fell. Her face was pale and she was almost quivering with pain.
He ran back to her and pulled her straight up, disentangling her leg from the pit in the lava as gently as he could. The lower right leg was deformed – part of the bone actually protruding a foot above her heel - the blood trickling down her leg from the open fracture. Liz's face looked an ashen gray despite their near week of sunburn and her breathing came in short gasps.
He carried her to the small clearing and laid her gently down in the open are of the old campsite. He placed his hands around her ankle and looked at her frightened face. “Liz, you have to look at me – look at my eyes,” he said as he used his telekinesis to put traction on the break. He connected with her -pulling into his own mind all of the pain that he could.
He'd promised himself that he would see her safely to civilization before he left her forever – he would not fail her now - he told himself as he used his telekinesis to straighten her leg and strengthened his mental connection to heal the damage the jagged bone edges and sharp lava had done to her beautiful leg.
As the connection formed - Liz shoved her mind deep inside his looking for the reason behind Max's pain - all but oblivious to her own.....