Always and Forever (AU M/L MATURE) Epilogue, A/N pg 9, 3/3

[Heavenli24]

Thanks for the feedback :

Erina - Again, we don't know yet if Max told Liz before the wedding, of if he still has yet to tell her .

frenchkiss70 - Thanks . Yes, Max was wrong to do that to Liz, but it's done; it's in the past. Now he has to concentrate on making things right again, but also he needs to stick with Liz so that they can work through things together. Right now, dealing with the miscarriage is a more immediate course of action than what happened with Alex.

I'll admit that part of the reason Alex is still around was because she was to be involved in a later storyline, which I have now decided not to pursue. The story isn't finished yet, so there's still time for other things to happen.

Gaby7tvm - Thanks (I think, ). It wasn't intentional for Max and Liz to seem any less passionate than usual, but I guess I was going with the fact that they have been together for a long time - almost 4.5 years in total - and they've gotten comfortable with each other. I also thought the story might become a little boring if all Max and Liz ever did was talk on the phone and express their undying love for one another. After all, they both have their own lives at UNM/Harvard, which they are entited to enjoy. They don't have to say 'I love you' everyday in order to show that they are in love with each other.

clueless - Thanks .

Tinkerbell_Luvs_Roswell - I agree that keeping it a secret just make things worse and I think that, if Liz had not had the miscarriage, he would have told her sooner - probably as soon as he realised what an idiot he had been to kiss Alex.

confusedfool - Thanks .

Leigh - Thanks . Actually, I'm not going to say much about your thoughts on the events of the year, because I'll probably end up accidentally giving something away . I will say though, that the main reason Max isn't confiding in anyone (i.e. Michael or John) is because he's trying to do everything himself. Perhaps he feels that he should be able to deal with it all himself without involving anyone else, or maybe he feels that admitting he'd kissed someone else would tarnish his friends' views of his relationship with Liz. He's trying to be strong here, but that's possibly not the best way to go about it.



***

Part Twenty-One

Liz

Friday March 17th 2006

I wake with a sudden muffled cry and a feeling of panic in my chest, my breath coming in short gasps as I try to adjust to the disorientation of being suddenly pulled from a deep sleep. I shift onto my back as I place one hand against my chest in a calming gesture. I can feel my heart beating rapidly and I suck in a couple of deep breaths to slow it down. My breathing finally returns to normal and I relax a little, but unfortunately the memories of my dream remain, leaving me feeling scared and vulnerable. I turn onto my side and press my body up against Max, who is sleeping peacefully beside me. As I slide under his arm and rest my head on his chest, he shifts a little and tightens his arm around me, effectively cocooning my body against his.

I curl up beside him and shut my eyes tightly in an attempt to rid my mind of the nightmare that woke me up. It was horrible; I kept reliving the last two weeks, from finding out I was pregnant but not being able to tell Max, to the sharp pain I felt in my belly just before I passed out, to finding out that the baby was gone. Fortunately, I find myself comforted slightly by his warm embrace and actually manage to drift off to sleep again.

However, there’s one thought on my mind as I relax against him: How on earth am I going to survive when he leaves in two days?

***

“Hey, sleepy head, it’s time to get up,” comes a soft voice from just above my head, although I’m more aware of the vibration it causes beneath my cheek than the actual words themselves.

“Hmm,” I mumble, keeping my eyes shut as I press my face against Max’s chest. “I can’t…”

“You can’t?” he repeats, his tone slightly amused.

“I don’t want to,” I clarify, completely serious. It’s true; I don’t think I can even face getting out of bed today, let alone actually leaving the house. “I just wanna stay here.”

“Lizzie,” he murmurs gently, as he moves so that my head buries into the pillow instead and he’s facing me head on. “I know this is hard for you and that you’d much rather curl up in bed and forget about the rest of the world, but you’re gonna have to get up sometime.”

“I don’t think I can,” I sniffle, lifting my head to look at him with tears in my eyes.

“Hey,” he says softly, cupping my face with one hand, his fingers lightly stroking my cheek. “Look, I can’t be here all the time to make sure you do everything you need to, okay? I can only stay until Sunday, you know that, Liz. You’ve already missed almost a week of classes and I know you can’t afford to miss anymore, so you need to be strong right now, for both of us.”

“I know,” I manage through my tears. “But, that place… it brings back memories I’d rather forget. I don’t know if I can handle it a second time.”

“Look, I’ll be with you the whole time, okay? You don’t have anything to worry about,” he assures me softly.

I give a small, defeated nod and he smiles at me gratefully before leaning in and pressing a tender kiss to my lips.

We lie together for a few more minutes, until Max realises the time and forces me out of bed. He fixes some toast for us, while I take a shower and get dressed and within forty-five minutes, we’ve left the apartment and are headed across campus to a building I’ve been avoiding like the plague for the last few months: the university counselling service.

I’ve spent most of the week arguing that I don’t need to see anyone and that I’m perfectly capable of recovering without talking to a professional, but Max was adamant that I get some help. Even though I kinda knew he was right, it took a lot for me to admit that, and so it took me four days to book an appointment with my old counsellor, Dr. Jones.

When we get there, Max joins me in her office for the appointment; after all, this does involve both of us this time. The doctor smiles at both of us as we walk in, and spends the first few minutes asking how I’ve been getting on over the last few months. I explain that things have been going well and that Max and I are getting married, and she offers her congratulations. She asks why I’ve come to see her today and with a reassuring smile and squeeze of the hand from Max, I begin to tell her about what has happened in the last few days.

More than thirty minutes and a lot of tears later (on both my part and Max’s), I find myself feeling a little better. I think that talking things over with someone completely unrelated to the whole ordeal helps me to think more clearly about it, and by the end of the session, I’m actually starting to believe that things are going to be okay. I definitely have some way to go, but this time, I’m determined not to let depression get the best of me this time around.

Before we leave, I arrange to continue seeing Dr. Jones for a few more weeks, so that I can work through the pain properly, but afterwards, as Max and I walk through campus in search of some food, he cautiously brings up the subject of the wedding. I assure him that by then, I’ll be fine, but he still offers to postpone it for a while until I’m totally ready. I protest vehemently, somehow already knowing that thoughts of marrying the love of my life are what will get me through the next few months, and in the end he holds his hands up in surrender, promising that he won’t mention the possibility again.

***

Today has definitely been a good day for me, I decide, as I watch Max talking animatedly about the movie we’ve just seen at the theatre downtown. He declared earlier that we needed to do something to keep our minds off everything, so he took me to see the latest comedy and now we’re sharing a pizza in a small Italian restaurant just off Main Street.

“Max?” I ask softly, when he finally stops for a break and a bite of pepperoni.

“Yeah?”

“I was thinking…” I start, somewhat uncomfortably.

“What is it, Lizzie?” he enquires gently, his expression becoming concerned as he reaches for my hand across the table.

“Well, it’s my Spring Break in a week and a half and I was thinking, maybe I could come home to Roswell and maybe stay with you at UNM for a bit?”

“I’d love for you to come stay,” he smiles. “But, are you sure you can afford to fly all the way back to New Mexico?”

“When I called my parents on Monday to tell them about… the baby… they offered to fly me home,” I inform him. I didn’t tell him about their proposal at the time because he had come all that way the day before and I kind of needed him right then. “And anyway, what about you? You just flew all the way out here to be with me.”

“Okay,” he shrugs; looking embarrassed “I get your point. My parents helped me out with the tickets too.”

I give a half-hearted smile, which unfortunately quickly turns to disappointment as I think about the week I have to get through first, before I can fly home.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asks, when I look away.

“I just…” I shake my head. “I don’t know how I’m going to get through the next few days without you.”

He smiles an apologetic smile, “I’m so sorry, Lizzie. If I could stay here with you, I would, but I really can’t. I have important classes to attend and that job interview in Phoenix to get to.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot about that,” I murmur quietly. “Are you all prepared for it?”

“I think so,” he exhales loudly. “Well, as prepared as I’ll ever be, I guess.”

“I’m sure you’ll do great,” I tell him sincerely.

We continue to make small talk for another thirty minutes, until we’ve finished eating. All through dinner and even the walk home, we avoid talking about anything deep and meaningful. It seems like we’ve been discussing the heavy stuff all week and for once, it seems nice just to enjoy each others company without it being accompanied by the inevitable emotional roller coaster.

The weekend is pretty hard on both of us as we prepare to say goodbye to each other. Sunday morning is especially poignant, as I wake up to find Max’s body spooning mine, his hands gently caressing my belly, which is no longer nurturing a child. We don’t speak for several minutes; we simply lie together in silence. I cover Max’s hands with my own and say a silent prayer for the child we lost. I’m not a particularly religious person, but somehow, it just seems fitting.

However, the calm that settled over us earlier in the day has completely dissipated by the time we get to the airport. Instead, we cling to each other, tears steaming down our faces as we say what has to be the hardest goodbye yet. Never mind the fact that we’ll be seeing each other again in a week, as I wrap my arms around Max’s neck and he enfolds me in a tight embrace, I get the feeling that the day few days are going to be incredibly difficult for me.

TBC…

Merry Christmas everyone !

[Heavenli24]

Thanks for the feedback, I hope everyone had a good Christmas :

guelbebek - Thanks .

clueless - Thanks .

Emz80m - Thanks .

LairaBehr4 - Thanks .

Behrystrwbry - Thanks - yeah, I guess it is a little poignant. I can't even imagine how I'd feel if I lost a child, but I figure that it would be much harder to deal with if Liz had been further along rather than having only known about the baby for a few days.

Here's a nice, fluffy Interlude for you now...


***

Interlude Ten

Liz

Present Day – November 23rd 2006 – Thanksgiving

I am having the best dream right now.

I’m lying on a deserted beach, soaking up the sun in a pale-green triangle bikini. Max is lying beside me, hands behind his head, sunglasses covering his eyes and one leg bent at the knee, his foot flat on the beach towel. I turn my head to look at him and at the same moment, he shifts to his side. Our eyes lock and immediately, I am in his arms, his lips devouring mine, his hands roaming my sun-heated skin.

Within seconds, I find myself flat on my back once more, as Max’s weight settles above me, placing his elbows either side of my head to support himself. His mouth kisses a wet trail down my neck to my chest. He kisses and suckles at my rapidly hardening nipples through the material of my bikini top before continuing his journey downwards. He shifts his weight to his knees, which are resting between my legs, and brings his hands down to my breasts. He pushes the material aside and cups me, massaging gently as his tongue dips into my belly button, making me squirm.

His hands drift downwards to my hips, where they tug at the strings of my bikini bottoms. I lift my hips slightly to allow him to pull the small scrap of material away with amazing speed. I bury my fingers in his hair, urging him to look up at me, which he does with a mischievous grin, holding my gaze for what seems like an eternity before lowering his mouth once again.

I arch up off the beach towel with a gasp as his tongue grazes my clit. His fingers trace small patterns on my inner thighs, slowly working their way towards where my body aches for his touch as his tongue caresses me intimately. I feel my body tightening with anticipation as Max brings me closer and closer to ecstasy. His fingers slide into me just as he catches my clit between his teeth and I come apart, my hands clutching at his head as waves of pleasure flow through my body.

I let out a gasping cry, calling his name over and over until the pleasure finally begins to subside. I open my eyes expecting to find Max grinning up at me from his position in the sand and feeling the hot afternoon sun beating down on us. I do see Max smiling at me from between my legs, but instead of a beach, I find myself lying in a king-size bed in a beautiful hotel room.

“Good morning,” he grins. “Happy Thanksgiving.”

“Wow,” I manage, my head falling back against the pillows. “What a wake-up call.”

“Wasn’t it?” he agrees smugly, before sliding up my body and kissing me thoroughly. I can taste a hint of myself on his lips and for some reason it turns me on even more.

“I think it must be your turn now,” I murmur, pulling away a little as I slip my hand down between our bodies and wrap my fingers around him.

“No, wait,” he mutters, shaking his head. “Not now. I need you.”

“Okay,” I whisper with a smile, as I release him and bring my hands up to rest against the pillows in surrender. “I’m all yours.”

Max grins and reaches for a condom – something we’re being more careful about these days – rolls it on and then wastes no time in entering my waiting body. I sigh in contentment as he slides in and out of me, gently at first and then more forcefully as the pressure begins to build and we both head for completion.

Afterwards, when we’re both spent, but very sated, we lie curled up together in a cosy cocoon of sheets and duvet. Max’s naked chest is pressed up against my back and the backs of my thighs are in intimate contact with his legs. His arms are around my waist and his hands spread flat across my skin. I smile with both happiness and amusement when I hear a small hitch in his breathing and then soft snores escape his throat.

***

“This is nice, isn’t it?” says Max with a smile as we walk hand in hand through the streets of Scottsdale, Arizona. It’s just after three in the afternoon and we’ve only just made it out of bed.

If you’d asked me twenty-four hours ago, how I’d be spending my Thanksgiving, I would have told you that I would be heading down to Roswell with my husband to spend a couple of days with our parents; however, when I got home from work last night, Max sprung an unexpected surprise on me: he was going to take me away for the holiday. He’d gotten home before me (we finish at the same time, but I have to drive all the way home) and had already packed our bags.

At first, he wouldn’t tell me where we were going, just that we were staying until Friday morning and then we were going to drive down to Roswell for the weekend, but by the time we’d arrived at the airport in Albuquerque and were waiting in line to check in, I’d got it out of him. Scottsdale, Arizona. That’s where we were going to be spending our first Thanksgiving as a married couple. Not the most conventional choice, but the town holds fond memories for us.

“It’s wonderful here,” I reply, grinning up at my husband. “It’s so nice to be warm again.”

“Yeah, it is,” he chuckles.

Okay, so it’s not like it’s freezing up in Santa Fe or anything – temperatures were in the low sixties when we left yesterday although they are likely to get colder still, but here in Phoenix, it’s a much warmer eighty degrees and I’m savouring every minute of it.

As we walk towards Old Town in comfortable silence, I can’t help sneaking glances at Max. A huge grin slides onto my face as I think of everything he’s done to make our first Thanksgiving special. Without telling me, he booked us a room for two nights in a lovely little hotel just outside the Old Town district of Scottsdale. Our room is perfect – not too small, but not enormous either – and Max even splashed out to get us a room with a Jacuzzi. We haven’t tried it out yet, but I’m certain it’s on the agenda in the very near future.

“What?” questions Max, shifting uncomfortably as he realises I’m staring at him.

“Nothing,” I smile, coming to a stop so that I can face him properly. “Just… I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he returns, lightly grazing my cheek with his fingers, before leaning in for a kiss.

“Thank you,” I murmur, when we pull apart.

“For what?” he smiles.

“For this,” I tell him, gesturing to the scenery and buildings around us.

“My pleasure,” he grins, looping an arm around my waist as we begin walking again. “I thought we could use a little vacation.”

“Well, you’ll hear no complaints from me,” I state, slipping my arm around his waist and dipping my fingers into his back pocket. “So, what’s the plan for the rest of the day?”

“I thought maybe we could do some shopping in Old Town and then, if you’re interested, we could grab some dinner from Oregano’s,” he says, with a shrug.

“If I’m interested?” I exclaim incredulously. “Max, you know Oregano’s is my favourite restaurant in the entire world!”

He chuckles at my outburst, “I guess you won’t mind then.”

“Not at all,” I grin. “Half-baked cookie dough dessert, here I come!”

***

“Mmm, that was a perfect dinner,” I sigh happily, as I stretch out my arms and let myself fall back onto the large bed in our hotel room.

“Yes, it was,” murmurs Max, as he twists the lock on the door and saunters over to the bed.

“I love Scottsdale,” I grin, gazing up at the ceiling. “Let’s stay here for ever and ever.”

“We can’t do that, Lizzie. We both have jobs in Santa Fe,” chuckles Max. I prop myself up on one elbow to look him in the eye.

“But I want to,” I state with a pout.

He rolls his eyes and holds out his hand to pull me upright.

“I think you might have had a little too much to drink tonight, Lizzie,” he murmurs, our faces just inches apart.

“Yeah, me too,” I sigh dreamily. “I love wine.”

He laughs, shaking his head a little as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me in for a hungry kiss. All I can do is stand there, my hands deliciously trapped against his chest, as the kiss deepens, our tongues duelling. I feel light-headed, like the world is spinning, but in a good way. I feel my body trembling with need, the combination of alcohol and happiness suddenly overflowing within me.

A small moan escapes my lips when Max eventually breaks the kiss, but his next whispered words have me smiling again.

“How about we go try out that hot-tub now?”

It seems that my grin is the only answer he needs, because he then grabs my hand and pulls me towards the bathroom. I watch as he leans across the tub to turn on the jets, my gaze drawn to his denim-covered butt and I feel a sudden rush of heat pooling in my belly. My breathing quickens and I bite my lip as I continue to stare. I take a couple of steps towards my husband, but before I can reach him, he straightens up and turns around. His eyes rake over my body, from my now heaving chest to the fire that I’m sure is in my eyes, and he groans, reaching for me.

Within seconds, I find myself naked but for a pair of black lace panties, as Max has peeled off the rest of my clothes in record time. I feel oddly aroused standing before him so exposed when he is still fully dressed. To emphasise that to him, I run my hands over my body, cupping my breasts and then walking my fingers down to my belly. Max sucks in a breath at my actions and as I hook my fingers into the elastic of my panties to slide them down, he frantically pulls off his clothes until he’s standing before me… naked and very aroused.

He holds out a hand and leads me over to the tub. We step in and simultaneously let out sighs of contentment. I close my eyes, taking a moment to relax, before Max grabs me by the waist.

“Hey,” I mutter in protest, as he lifts me up and practically dumps me into his lap, but my next words are extinguished when his mouth covers mine. As we kiss, his hands roam my skin, gently cupping my breasts, and then moving downwards to my stomach. I moan into his mouth as one of his hands moves to my butt, whilst the other dips between my legs. He strokes me gently; exerting just enough pressure to send shivers up my spine, but not enough to send me over the edge.

I let my hands wander over Max’s body as he continues to tease me until I feel ready to explode. He pushes me over the edge with one final stroke, and then it’s my turn to return the favour. We explore each other’s bodies fully, caressing and teasing one another, until the need to be together becomes too great to resist. Straddling his lap, I lower myself onto Max and we lose ourselves in each other.

Afterwards, when we’re lying together on the bed, wrapped only in bathroom robes, I gaze up at Max with a happy smile and tell him exactly how much I love him and that even though we didn’t have a traditional Thanksgiving, with turkey and all the trimmings, this has been the most perfect Thanksgiving ever.

TBC…

[Heavenli24]

Hey guys, thanks for the feedback :

LairaBehr4 - Thanks, .

clueless - Thanks .

Emz80m - Thanks .

Leigh - Thanks . Although Liz has to deal with the loss of her baby, she is determined not to let depression get the better of her this time, so although the pain won't go away immediately, she hasn't fallen as far as she did last year before getting help. Perhaps this next part will cover or at least acknowledge some of your other concerns regarding Max's behaviour.



***

Part Twenty-Two

Max

Monday March 27th 2006


“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” I ask anxiously as I pull on a sweatshirt and fasten my jeans.

“I’ll be fine, Max,” Liz assures me quietly. “It’s only for a couple of hours, remember?”

“I know,” I sigh, looking down at her curled up in my bed. “But you’re only here for another two days and I don’t like to leave you on your own.”

“It’s okay, Max,” she says, sitting up and loosely pulling her knees to her chest. “Just go to class, alright?”

“Okay, fine,” I agree eventually, after a mini staring match, which I lose. “But when I get back, we’re gonna go out and do something fun.”

“If you say so, Max,” she responds with a small smile.

“Hey, I’m serious,” I exclaim. “I think we could both use some fun right now.”

Liz gives a small nod in response, as if she doesn’t want to admit that I’m right. At the cute expression on her face, I lean down and gently kiss her lips, before pulling back a little to stare into her eyes. She stares back for a moment and I get lost in her eyes… until she suddenly pushes me away and scoots back.

“Go to class, Max,” she orders with a soft chuckle. “You’re going to be late.”

“Okay, okay, I’m going,” I tell her quickly, holding my hands up in surrender. “But you’d better be here when I get back.”

“I’ll be here, don’t you worry,” she smiles.

When I’m satisfied that she’ll be okay whilst I’m gone, I grab my bag from the floor, kiss her again and head out of the room.

As I make my way out of my apartment and through the streets towards campus, I find my mind wandering back to Liz. Although I have to admit that she seems a lot better than a week ago when I was in Boston with her, I still worry about her. Despite what I was thinking in Cambridge two weeks ago, I do know that I’ll have to tell Liz about Alex eventually. As much as I’d like to believe that my act of stupidity is not something worth bringing up in conversation and that it’s not important for Liz to know about it, I understand that she deserves to know, for the sake of being honest in our relationship. The thing is, I can’t do that yet; not when she’s still fragile and trying to get back on her feet in order to graduate.

“Hey, Max,” a female voice interrupts me from my thoughts as I cross Central Avenue and head past the UNM bookstore. I turn to see Alex walking towards me from my left.

“Alex, hi,” I reply a little uncomfortably, as she joins me. “Are you heading to class?”

“Yep. You?”

Although we talked things through when I returned from Boston last week and I explained what happened to Liz, things are still a little awkward between us. I haven’t seen her much over the last few days, what with my job interview in Phoenix (which, by the way, I think I kinda messed up) and Liz arriving on Saturday, but whenever I have seen her, I’ve felt embarrassed over my actions a fortnight ago. However, I’m determined not to let it affect either my relationship with Liz or my friendship with her, so I’m doing everything I can to put that kiss to the back of my mind and concentrate on Liz.

“Yeah,” I say, with a roll of my eyes. “The joys of 20th Century Literature.”

“I know what you mean,” she says with a laugh. “I have a class on Anglo-Saxon England in a few minutes.”

“Nice,” I joke, rolling my eyes and she nods in agreement.

We walk in silence for a couple of minutes, until Alex speaks up, looking slightly uncomfortable, “So, um… Liz is here this week?”

“Yeah, she is,” I nod. “She didn’t want to be alone for Spring Break.”

“Understandable,” she says. “How is she holding up?”

“She’s doing okay, I think,” I tell her. “But it’s still hard for her; for both of us, actually. She’s going to down see her parents on Wednesday, though, which I think will be good for her.”

Alex doesn’t say anything, but just nods.

“Look, um,” I start hesitantly. “I’ve decided that I need to tell Liz about… what happened.”

She nods again, “It’s the right thing to do, Max.”

“I know,” I say softly. “But I’m gonna wait until she’s better and until finals are over. I don’t want to do anything right now to jeopardise her recovery.”

“Understandable,” she replies. “Just… promise me you will tell her, Max?” she asks.

“I promise,” I tell her sincerely.

The conversation seemingly over, we continue walking across campus, until I realise we’ve reached Dane Smith Hall, where my class is.

“Well, um, this is me,” I say. “I’ll, um… see you soon, okay?”

“Okay, Max,” says Alex with a slight smile as she turns towards her building. “Enjoy your class.”

***

When I return home almost three hours later, I find Liz sitting on the couch talking to John. He’s chatting animatedly about the professor of one of his classes and Liz appears to be listening intently.

“Hey,” I greet, as I enter the room and close the front door behind me.

Liz turns to face me, her eyes lighting up a little.

“Max, you’re home,” she says happily.

“Hey, man,” greets John with a grin. “Just keeping your lovely fiancée company while you were out,” he shoots Liz a smile.

“Thanks, man,” I tell him, as Liz gets up off the couch and wraps her arms around my waist, pressing her face against my chest for a moment. I slide my arms around her in return and ask, “You okay?”

She nods against me, “Yeah, just happy to see you.”

“Me, too,” I tell her softly.

I catch John’s eye and shoot him a mock glare when he smirks and rolls his eyes at the display of affection, before lowering my gaze to the top of Liz’s head.

“Hey, you fancy getting out of here?” I ask. “We’ll go have some fun.”

“Okay,” she murmurs as she lifts her head to look up at me. “I’d like that.”

“Come on, then,” I prompt, lowering my arms and taking her hand in mine. “Let’s go.”

I practically pull her out of the door, only just giving her time to grab her purse from the small table next to the couch before we leave the apartment.

“Have fun, guys,” calls John as we leave the apartment and head for the jeep.

I drive down to Old Town, where all the Native American shops and art galleries are located. Hand in hand, we peruse the various stores and quaint buildings, not talking about anything serious, but instead simply enjoying the day as it comes. As the afternoon stretches into evening, we find a small Mexican restaurant and I treat Liz to dinner. As we eat, Liz brings up a subject that I guess I’ve been avoiding talking about the last couple of days, for fear that she’s not ready to think about it again yet: the wedding.

“I think we’ve got most things sorted out now,” she says, with a wave of her fork. “The main problem at the moment is getting Isabel and Maria to decide on bridesmaid’s dresses.”

“Liz –” I start, but she continues on regardless.

“Do you think maybe you could talk to her, Max? See if you can get her to come to a compromise?”

“I’ll try,” I agree softly. “But, Liz, are you sure it’s a good idea to get right back into organising everything? Maybe you should give it a couple more weeks before you think about this stuff?”

She shakes her head, “I’m fine, Max. I need to think about other things right now, because if I don’t, I’ll just get lost in my own head again and I don’t want that.”

“Okay,” I nod in understanding. “In that case, there’s something I wanted to ask you about.”

“Yeah?”

“We haven’t discussed the honeymoon yet,” I say. “Where would you like to go?”

She just looks at me blankly for a few seconds before her lips curl up in a smile.

“What?” I wonder self-consciously.

“Nothing,” she shakes her head. “It’s just… the honeymoon. I’ve been so caught up with planning the wedding and everything else that I hadn’t even thought about what happens after.”

I chuckle softly, “Believe me, I’ve been thinking about it… spending all that time alone with just you?” I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively. “I can’t wait.”

She laughs, her body language much more positive than it has been lately, “Typical man, only thinking about one thing.”

Her laughter is infectious and I find myself joining in.

“So, where do you want to go?” I ask again, when we finally calm down.

“I really don’t know,” she says with a shrug. “But definitely somewhere hot and sunny and away from lots of people. How about I leave it up to you?” she suggests. “Then you can surprise me.”

“Okay,” I smile and she smiles back.

I feel a weight lifting off my shoulders as we talk and laugh for the rest of the meal. It’s so good to see her being happy and having fun again.

***

“Max?” questions Liz softly as we lie together in my bed several hours later.

“Yeah?” I query, stroking her arm as I stare up at the ceiling.

“Thank you for today, it really helped me feel better,” she murmurs.

“My pleasure,” I reply. “Anything to make you happy.”

“Thank you,” she repeats, snuggling closer to my side.

We lay together in silence for a few more minutes, until Liz speaks up again.

“Max?”

“Yeah?” I reply again, a small smile playing on my lips.

“Do you think…?” she starts, sounding almost nervous. “I was thinking maybe we could… I just, um… ”

“What is it, Lizzie?” I ask gently.

“I want to make love with you again, Max,” she blurts out quickly. “Tonight.”

“Make love?” I question, my eyes widening in surprise. “Liz, I don’t know if that’s a good idea right now. You’re still recovering and…”

“I want to be with you, Max,” she whispers. “I want to feel –”

“Lizzie,” I sigh. “I’m sorry, but we can’t. It’s too soon after… I don’t want to risk something happening to you again.”

The truth is, I’m sort of terrified. I am so scared of something terrible happening again, that I don’t want to risk it. I’m not sure either of us is ready, or could handle it, if she got pregnant again.

“Max, please,” she begs and I can hear the tears in her voice. “I need to feel something again.”

“Okay, look,” I say, unable to completely deny what I know she needs right now. I shift onto my side to face her. “I’m not going to make love to you tonight; I can’t; but I understand how you feel, okay? And I want to make you feel better. So, here’s the deal: you just lie back and relax and let me work my magic, alright?”

“Okay,” she whispers, her expression one of both gratitude and relief. I smile and lean forward to press my lips to hers.

As we kiss, I slide my arm around her waist and shift her so that she’s lying on her back. I pull back slightly and with a tender smile, I slip my hands beneath her T-shirt and slide it over her head. I nuzzle her neck with my lips as my hands glide over her warm, bare skin, massaging gently. My fingers trail down from her collarbone, between the gentle valley of her breasts and eventually come to rest on her belly. Lifting my head, I see tears in her eyes and as her fingers tangle in my hair, I give her a gentle smile and place a kiss on her soft cheek.

“Max,” she murmurs, as my hands slide back up to cup her breasts. Her hands slide down to the back of my neck and she looks up at me, wide-eyed and slightly vulnerable.

“I love you, Lizzie,” I whisper, before kissing a trail down her jaw line to her chest. “Don’t ever forget that.”

She arches slightly beneath me as I caress her beautiful breasts, placing gentle kisses on her skin, before continuing on down to her navel.

“Mmm,” she moans softly, as my fingers trace the waistband of the boxer shorts she’s wearing – a pair of mine that she once ‘borrowed’ and subsequently never returned – but before I begin to urge them over her hips, I glance up at her once more… and let out a small chuckle. Her eyes are closed and her breathing is even and somewhat deep. She’s fallen asleep, exhausted.

With a slight shake of my head, I crawl back up her body and settle beside her once more, pulling her body against mine as I cover both of us with the duvet. I drift off to sleep with a smile on my face. At least she’s beginning to heal.

TBC…

[Heavenli24]

Thanks for the feedback :

LairaBehr4 - Wouldn't we all like a Max in our lives?! You can have one if you like, but you'll have to find your own way to get hold of him .

clueless - Thanks .

Gaby7tvm (x2) - Every culture has its differences and I don't know as much about in the US, but I guess the UK, at least, isn't known for its passion. However, Max and Liz are 4 years into a relationship and Liz has just lost a child; passion is not particularly high up on the list of priorities right now. That's not to say that Max doesn't desire or love Liz deeply, but their relationship is at a different stage now - the need to be together and make love all the time is not as prevalent as it was at the beginning of the relationship. That is why it seems that Max felt passion for Alex - his attraction for her was new and exciting and something that he and Liz experienced at first, but are now in a loving, but more comfortable relationship.

You didn't offend me and I understand what you're saying about passion, but in the circumstances (Liz's miscarriage etc.), I don't think I could have written that kind of passion into the story - I feel it would have made Max seem insensitive to what Liz is going through if he suddenly desired her and wanted to make love to her.

dreamsatnight - Sure you can, just don't ask me where you can get one from - I'm still looking myself .

Behrystrwbry - A mail order service would be good, but I think demand might just outweigh supply .

Leigh (x2) - Yes, Max and Alex saw each other often before Spring Break, but perhaps not as much as every day. Basically after Max returned to NM, the general timeline would have been that he adjusted to being back and also prepared for his interview on Monday, attended the interview on Tuesday and saw Alex briefly on Wednesday to let her know what had happened to Liz and just make sure that the kiss hadn't affected their friendship. Perhaps he might have seen Alex again on Friday and then Liz arrived on Saturday. Max and Alex didn't discuss intimate details about Liz, it was more of a short conversation covering the facts: 'What was wrong with Liz?', 'She had a miscarriage.' 'Oh, I'm sorry, I hope she's feeling better.'

Why is his relationship with Alex as important to him as his relationship with Liz? It seems that Max can be himself (even though he's ) with Alex but has to put up a front when he deals with Liz. Also,I hate to say it...but it does sound like Max is doing his duty for Liz...doing his duty because he feels shame & guilt. Something is really off here. Maybe Max does belong with Alex and Liz is just a first love. Oh, be still my dreamer heart

Liz is definitely Max's first and only love and is the most important person to him, but he also doesn't feel that just one stupid kiss ought to ruin a friendship. If he still had feelings for Alex, then it would be wrong to continue it, but he just wants to go back to having her as a friend.

Actually, when I wrote the part, guilt on Max's part didn't even enter the equation - I was thinking from the point of view of not hurting Liz or risking another pregnancy. It has only been 2 weeks since the miscarriage and there is a chance of infection/other complications, so Liz should see a doctor for a check up before having sex again. Also, if I was in her situation (or even Max's), I wouldn't be feeling particularly passionate at this point in time either.

I hope that my solution to fix the story will be similar to yours, although since I don't know what your idea is, I can't say for sure .

PS. It is great that we have so many people from around the world here at RF, although misunderstandings and confusion can be a problem occasionally . When I started writing fic, I considered using American English, but felt that I'd probably start mixing the two and also that I'd be going against what I'd been taught about the English language since I learned to read and write (ie. why spell it, realize when I've been taught that it's spelt realise?).
Btw, if there's anything that I write that doesn't make sense, just let me know and I'll explain what I mean. One of my favourite language differences which can can confusion and sometimes offence is the phrase 'fanny pack', because in the UK, 'fanny' means something very rude. Another is 'fag' which is the slang for cigarette here. So many clueless Brits have offended people by asking if they could have/buy a fag when visiting the US.

guelbebek - Thanks .

EvaLuna (x3) - Sure you can have a Max . I guess everyone has their own views and ideas about passion. I know that the British, in general, are not known for being particularly passionate, but that doesn't mean that no one is passionate at all here, and vice versa for other countries.

mezz - For me, as I've been writing the story, I haven't felt that 'passion' in the 'rip your clothes off' sense was really appropriate here. Max and Liz are in the settling down, love each other unconditionally for the rest of their lives, stage and although their their relationship - and that's okay.
I think that, in this case, Liz was not thinking clearly about making love. She lost a baby 2 weeks ago, she's still not fully recovered, and sex would not have been the best idea. Max knew that, but he also knew that Liz needed to feel something again, so he compromised - he chose to help her feel better, which shows that he loves her and is willing to put her first.

***

A/N: It's a bit off-topic, but I just wanted to thank everyone who nominated me in the awards:



Most Improved Writer
Most Dependable Updater
Most Underpraised Writer
Favorite First Chapter
Favorite Last Line - I'll Never Let You Go


***

Part Twenty-Three

Liz

Friday March 31st 2006

Well, I’ve been back home in Roswell for two days now and to be honest, I’m having a hard time trying not to burst into tears whenever I see my parents. When I left Max in Albuquerque Wednesday morning and got on a bus to Roswell, I was so sure that I was getting over everything. Spending time with Max made me feel happier again; but as soon as I saw my parents, standing there at the bus depot, tears of sympathy in their eyes, everything came flooding back to me again. I practically ran right into my mom’s arms, tears leaking from my eyes and she hugged me tightly and whispered words of comfort against my hair. They’ve been so kind and caring towards me in the last forty-eight hours that I only have to look at them to feel like curling up in my mom’s arms and crying my eyes out. Of course, Max has been absolutely perfect the past few days and weeks, but sometimes, all you need is a hug from your mom.

I let out a sigh and hug my duvet around my shoulders as my mind returns to the present. It’s only nine am, but I’m already counting down the hours until this evening. See, since I’m at home right now, Max told me he’s gonna drive down to Roswell after his last class and we can spend the weekend together before I have to fly back to Boston on Sunday.

“Lizzie, are you up?” my mom’s voice sounds from the other side of my bedroom door. “There’s someone here to see you.”

“Who is it?” I ask, poking my head out from under the covers.

“It’s me, chica!” comes Maria’s voice through the door. I smile. What is Maria doing here? “Can I come in?”

She barely waits for my answer, instead just flinging the door open and barging in.

“Maria?” I wonder, pulling myself up into a sitting position as she moves around the room. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in New York.”

“Well, I knew you were gonna be at home this week, so I thought it’d be the perfect time take a couple of days off to visit everyone here in Roswell,” she states and I frown at her logic – we only live a couple of hours from each other back on the East coast, so it’s much easier for us to see each other there.

“Oh, okay,” I murmur softly, looking around the room instead of directly at her.

She makes a small sad sound in her throat and I feel the bed dip slightly as she perches on the edge.

“How are you holding up?” she asks sincerely. “You must have had a rough time the last couple of weeks.”

“I’m okay, I guess,” I tell her softly. “Everyone’s been great, though.”

“I bet they have,” she murmurs, before holding out her hands. “Hey, come here, sweetie. You look like you could use a hug right now.”

I smile at her gratefully and she pulls me into a hug. It’s so nice to be back in Roswell, with my family and my best friend.

***

Maria and I spend a while catching up and generally enjoying each other’s company, before she suddenly stands up and insists I get dressed and go downstairs with her for breakfast. By ten-fifteen, we’re sitting in our old booth down in the Crashdown, with huge plates of bacon and eggs in front of us. I have to admit that, for the first time since I arrived home on Wednesday, I’m actually feeling normal again.

However, the strangest part of the morning occurs when the bell above the front door sounds at ten forty-five and in walks Isabel Evans. Since I’m facing the door, I notice her first and nudge Maria to alert her attention. We look at each other quizzically, both thinking the same thing: Isn’t Isabel supposed to be in San Francisco right now? Before we have a chance to say anything, Isabel notices us in the corner and with a smile, makes her way over to our booth.

“Hey, guys,” she smiles, before leaning down to wrap her arms around me in a hug. “How are you doing, Liz?” she asks as she pulls away. “Max told me what happened, are you okay?”

“I’m okay, thanks, Isabel,” I tell her with a small smile. “Not that we’re not glad to see you, but what are you doing here?”

“Oh, well,” she says airily. “Max also kinda mentioned that you’re trying to sort out the bridesmaid dresses for us and that it might be easier if I was actually around for it.”

“Really?” I wonder, with an impressed nod. I’d assumed I wouldn’t be able to get hold of Isabel for at least another few weeks.

“Hey, that’s great!” exclaims Maria suddenly. “Since all three of us are actually in the same place for once, how about we go find our dresses today?”

“That’s a good idea,” I agree. Anything to keep my mind off things. “Isabel, you in?”

“Sure,” she smiles. “You know what? We should make a day of it.”

“Okay,” I reply. “If you can just hold on until Maria and I have finished breakfast, we can get going.”

“Sure,” replies Isabel easily, as she goes to order a drink from the counter and then joins us in the booth and waits for us to finish.

By midday, we’ve already visited one bridal store and, having found nothing suitable there, are now browsing a second. I want to find a style and colour that both Isabel and Maria can agree on and look good in. Months ago, I swore to myself that I would never force my bridesmaids to wear hideous dresses, or dresses that they weren’t comfortable in, so I’m not going to insist on a particular style or colour for them. Unfortunately, that kinda makes things difficult, because Maria and Isabel have very different body shapes and tastes. However, I’m determined to find their outfits today, because who knows when we’re all gonna be in the same place again in the next few weeks.

Surprisingly, however, there is minimal disagreement between Isabel and Maria over the outfits they try on. Instead of Isabel flat out refusing to wear a particular colour, she merely gives a little frown when she is handed the dress and then obediently carries it into the dressing room. A similar thing happens with Maria. Rather than complaining that whatever I hand her will not suit her, she too just heads straight for the fitting rooms. If one of them looks stupid or awful in a dress, the other is polite about it, which kind of freaks me out because usually neither Maria nor Isabel has any trouble speaking her mind. The thing is, I have an awful feeling that they’re being overly cautious with their words because of me.

After trying practically every dress in the second store with no success, we decide to drive to a fairly new store just outside of town to have a look there. At first we only seem to be able to find an outfit for one of them; there’s a gorgeous knee-length dress with capped sleeves that looks beautiful on Isabel, who has a tall, full figure, but it just doesn’t work for Maria. Then we find another that looks great on Maria, but it really doesn’t suit Isabel at all.

Eventually, though, I spot a lovely mint-green dress in the corner of the store. It’s a strapless, floor-length design with a beaded pattern just above the bust and an extra layer of material over the top, which comes together at the ribs and then falls to the floor. I point it out to the other two, who are currently ooh-ing and aah-ing over the white wedding gowns, and they both appear to like it. I hand them each a dress in their size and they head to the fitting rooms. My eyes widen in amazement when they emerge from adjacent dressing rooms. They both look gorgeous.

“So?” I ask in excitement. “What do you guys think?”

“It’s perfect, Lizzie,” says Maria, running her hands over the material.

“Yeah,” agrees Isabel. “I think this is the one.”

“Well, that’s good,” I tell them flippantly, before they have time to change their minds. “Because they are now officially your bridesmaid’s dresses.”

Maria and Isabel get changed again and we go to discuss fittings and colours with the sales assistant. We decide on the mint-green, since it looked so perfect on both of them, which is really strange, because I never once imagined that my bridesmaids would be wearing green. Luckily, the flower combinations my mom and I decided on will go with the dresses, so I don’t need to worry about changing anything.

As we leave the shop and head back into Roswell, I find I can’t stop smiling. I suddenly can’t wait until Max gets here tonight so I can tell him about the dresses.

***

Thursday April 21st 2006

“Shit!” I exclaim, flinging sheets of paper across the room as I search for my missing revision notes.

I’m really freaking out right now. Finals are only eleven days away and I am nowhere near ready. I have so much studying to do and only eleven days in which to do it. I can’t even find my study notes, for God’s sake!

“Fuck!” I cry in frustration, sinking to the floor beside my bed and burying my face in my hands.

Tears begin rolling down my face as the enormity of the whole situation kicks in and a feeling of dread settles in my stomach. God, how am I gonna get through this? The most important week of my life is only a few days away and I am in no way prepared for it. But you know what the worst thing is? I don’t even have the slightest shred of motivation to study for my final college exams. I just don’t care anymore.

All I want is to curl up in Max’s arms and forget about the rest of the world. I want him to hold me and comfort me and tell me that it’s going to be alright. Most of all, I just want him to tell me that the last few weeks never happened. I wasn’t ever pregnant. I didn’t just lose my… no, our… first child.

God, it’s all too much right now. After all, let’s not forget my Graduation ceremony at the beginning of June – providing I pass finals, that is – and the wedding I’m supposed to be planning (and attending in the bridal capacity) at the same time.

I need to talk to Max.

I reach for my cell phone and press Max’s speed dial number. I don’t bother to wipe my eyes or compose myself as I wait for him to pick up.

“Ye-llo?” he answers distractedly. I guess he didn’t check the caller ID before picking up.

“Max, it’s me,” I manage softly, my breath hitching slightly as I hear his familiar tone.

“Lizzie?” he questions. “What’s up?”

“I need some help,” I admit, my voice coming out soft and more than slightly needy.

“What is it?” he asks quickly, and I can just imagine him sitting up straight, a worried frown appearing on his face. “What’s wrong?”

I take a deep breath, “I can’t do this, Max. I just can’t.”

“Do what?” he sounds worried. “Lizzie, what’s the matter?”

“It’s all too much,” I tell him in a whisper. “School, finals, the wedding… the sadness.”

“Oh, honey,” he murmurs softly. My breath catches in my throat. We’ve never really used pet names for each other. I’ve always thought they were kinda corny, but hearing Max call me ‘honey’ in that smooth, tender tone of his, causes an my heart to skip a beat. “Look,” he continues. “We’ll get you through this, okay? You just tell me what you’re having trouble with and I’ll see what I can do to help.”

I nod, but then realise that he can’t see me.

“Okay,” I mutter softly.

“Okay,” he replies.

“God, finals are only eleven days away, Max and I haven’t even started studying yet,” I burst out, adding in a softer voice, “I can’t. I don’t even want to.”

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” he assures me. “I know that studying must be the last thing you feel like doing right now, but it’s just something we both have to do. Just think, you’re nearly there, Lizzie. There’s only a few more weeks to go before graduation; you’ve spent four years getting to this point and think how much you’ll regret it if you give up now.”

“I know that,” I murmur. “I do. It’s just so hard, Max.”

“I know,” he soothes. “For me, too. But I’m gonna see you graduate if it’s the last thing I do.”

That makes me chuckle slightly, “It better not be; you have a wedding to attend after that.”

“Oh, of course,” he says playfully. “How could I forget about that?”

“Exactly,” I respond, mock offended.

“Okay, Lizzie, this is what we’re gonna do: you tell me what exams you need to study for and I’ll help you come up with a revision timetable,” he says.

“Okay,” I nod.

We spend the next thirty minutes or so going over what I need to study for each class and working out a suitable timetable. By the end of the call, I’m feeling much more positive and in control of what I need to do. Max tells me that if, at any time in the next few days, I feel overwhelmed by it all, I should just call him and he’ll help me study over the phone. I tell him that I will and that I’m really grateful for his help, but after we’ve hung up, I find myself letting out a huge sigh and burying my face in my hands.

I hope I can do this.

TBC…

Happy New Year !!

[Heavenli24]

Hey guys, thanks for the feedback :

Emz80m - Thanks . Let's hope Liz is strong enough to get through finals without becoming overwhelmed. What will happen when Max tells Liz about Alex? I'll let you keep on reading the story to find out .

LairaBehr4 - Thank you , and congratulations on your nominations too .

clueless - Thank you - I'm pleased you're enjoying it .

frenchkiss70 -

Of course he'd be eager to put his unfaithfulness in the past so quickly, so he doesn't have to deal with the fact he didn't love Liz enough not to cheat on her. And he can keep his best friend Alex, a person who is so important for him he can't let go of her even for Liz. He betrayed Liz and his love for her, with Alex, but she's still around,

It's taken me ages, but I've found an example of what I was going for with the Alex-Max friendship/Max-Liz relationship: Willow and Xander in season 3 of Buffy. They were both dating other people that they loved, but they found themselves attracted to each other and ended up cheating on Oz and Cordelia. However, after they got caught, Oz and Willow eventually got back together and Xander and Willow remained friends. I know the situation isn't quite the same, but that was the kind of thing I was going for. Willow and Xander made a mistake, but got over their 'feelings' for each other and they didn't stop being friends.

The way you wrote it, it was so much more than a little crush and confused feelings, especially when he actually acted on his feeelings and kissed Alex, it really seemed like he was coming home and found the girl he always wanted. When he kissed Alex he forgot all about Liz, the only thing he wanted at this moment was to make love with Alex, and Liz could be damned, she didn't matter. So even if he's "wonderful" with Liz now, I just can't forget his "great" love for her didn't stop him from cheating on her.

When I wrote the part, what I was going for was getting across what Max was feeling in that exact moment. At that moment, on that particular day, he chose to kiss Alex and forget about Liz completely for a few minutes; however, that's not necessarily reflective of his thoughts and feelings all the time and it certainly wasn't how he felt immediately afterwards. He still loved Liz as much as always and his feelings for her hadn't changed, but he ended up separating in his mind what he felt for Liz and what he felt for Alex. He shouldn't have done it, but he's only human and we make mistakes all the time.

jbangelo - Thanks .

Leigh - Yes, Liz is still seeing the therapist, although it's not really going to be a big subject in the story since that was the theme of I'll be There.

I can't imagine a best friend not asking questions about Liz's miscarriage. How could a best friend of Max not want to help Liz?

Okay, so Max and Alex's conversation would have been in a little more depth than what I said, but my point was that the two of them wouldn't have discussed intimate details of Liz's experience as if they were discussing her behind her back. It would have been a conversation between friends with Alex sympathising with him and Liz over their loss.

In light of how Max felt about Jack and Liz, How can Max think that the kiss well be unimportant to Liz?

To be honest, I don't think that Max would have even compared the two situations in his mind !

One of my favorite language diferences is the pronunciations of aluminum. Americans pronounce the word so diferently that I didn't recognise the word when a Brit friend of mine was trying to explain a manifacturing process. I couldn't stop laughing for an hour. To tell you the truth, I giggle when ever I think of it!

For me, it's tomayto, baysil and oregano, as in the US, compared to tomarto, basil and oregano in the UK. My grandmother heard a commercial on US radio for oregano tablets and thought they were some new herbal discovery. She was rather disappointed when I told her it was the very same herb she kept in her kitchen cupboard !

trulov -

Honestly, I could get over the kiss. What keeps killing me is the four days he went without speaking to Liz, before the kiss. Never mind that she needed him SOOO badly during those days. Didn't he miss her? Didn't he want to talk to her? No - he was too busy living out his fantasy with Alex.

In my mind , in those four days, he CHOSE Alex over Liz. Max preferred talking to Alex and already had his excuse prepared when Liz got mad.

It is THAT, that I am unable to forgive, no matter how perfect Max is being now.

The lack of communication really wasn't supposed to come across that way. There were supposed to be uncontrollable circumstances preventing communication between Max and Liz - completely independent of Max's feelings for Alex. Unfortunately, in today's society, it's very difficult to find a situation where it is impossible to communicate with someone. I came up with the best siuation I could think of at the time (Max's phones and internet being broken), but still it seems I missed some things.

Also, as a girl who goes up to three weeks without talking to her family when she's away from home, I figured that since Max didn't know Liz was trying to call him, he had just decided to wait until the phones were fixed to call. To be honest, I don't feel that going 4 days without talking is really that much time, especially considering that it once took one of my best friend almost three months to reply to one of my emails! I was going on the assumption that Max and Liz sometimes only talked to each other a couple of times a week because they were busy and so 4 days wasn't a big deal from his POV. Obviously Liz wasn't of the same opinion at that time because she had important news for him.

Also, I'm curious - has it even occured to Max that he COULD lose Liz? In all his thoughts about the kiss, I haven't read any fear of her breaking up with him. I've read about him thinking its not a bid deal, and how he's afraid to hurt Liz further, but isn't he the least bit concerned that his actions could be a deal breaker?

Actually, I don't think he has considered that possibility. I think that he knows he needs to tell Liz about it, but he hasn't thought about what her reaction to it might be.

dreamsatnight - Thanks - I'm updating often because I'm trying to get the story finished and posted by the end of January.


***

Interlude Eleven

Max

Present Day – Sunday December 24th 2006

“Good, morning,” I murmur softly to my half-asleep wife as I place a tray of food on the table beside the bed, before leaning down to press a gentle kiss to her lips.

“Hmm,” she mutters, her eyes still closed as she stretches her arms above her head. “Morning.”

“Merry Christmas Eve,” I say as I perch on the edge of the bed. She opens her eyes. “I made you breakfast.”

She glances towards the tray on the table with a smile, “Thank you. You’re so sweet.”

“My pleasure,” I grin, as she pulls herself up into a sitting position and I place the tray on her lap.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” Liz asks as she bites into a piece of toast.

“Well, my mom is expecting us at around six tonight, so we’ll have to leave here by one at the latest, but apart from that our day is free.”

“Really?” she says with a smile. “What will we do with ourselves all morning?”

“Oh, I can think of a few things,” I murmur, leaning in for another kiss. I can taste the jam from the toast on her lips.

“Yeah?” she grins as I pull back.

“Yeah,” I nod.

“Well, then, let me just finish this beautifully prepared breakfast and then I might take you up on that,” she grins, before patting my side of the bed with her hand. “Care to join me?”

“Sure,” I say with a smile, before moving to sit beside her as she feeds me some toast.

“So,” says Liz, between bites. “We have all the presents for everyone, right? We haven’t forgotten anything?”

“No, I think we’ve pretty much exhausted every present-buying avenue now,” I assure her. “If anything, we’re over-prepared.”

“That’s good. I’ve been so disorganised this year, I can’t believe it,” she admits, lifting her mouth to mine. “I guess you’re just too much of a distraction for me.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you have me to sort things out, then,” I murmur with a grin as she breaks the kiss to take another bite. I slide my arm around her shoulders and we lean back against the headboard as we eat breakfast.

“So, um, you haven’t seen Alex in a few weeks…” she starts a couple of moments later.

“No, I haven’t,” I agree, wondering for a second if she has a particular reason for bringing that up now. “I’ve been way too preoccupied with spending time with my gorgeous wife lately, that she hasn’t even crossed my mind.”

“Oh,” she smiles. “Well, that’s good.”

“Come to think of it, she hasn’t called me in a while either. But then, she is dating someone new and it seems pretty serious, so I doubt she has much time,” I add. In truth, I guess that Alex and I are just kind of drifting apart… actually that’s not quite true; after what Liz said to me back in October about her spending time with her friends and me spending time with Alex, I realised how important it was for me to focus on Liz and not on my friendship with Alex. So, we’re still friends, but we don’t see each other as much as we used to, which, from Liz’s point of view, is probably a good thing.

“No, I guess not,” she replies with a nod.

“Actually,” I say, as I realise that I should really tell her the real reason. “The truth is that what you said the other week about me spending time with her made me realise that I was taking you for granted a little. You’re my wife and our marriage is more important than her.”

“Thank you, Max,” she replies softly, sending me a gentle smile.

We sit together, eating quietly for a couple of minutes, until Liz brings up the subject of our holiday festivities.

“So, last night was fun, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, it was,” I agree with a chuckle.

Last night, Liz and I were invited to a Christmas dinner with Julie and her boyfriend, in their apartment on the first floor. Although, actually I think it was more of a case of Liz and Julie getting together and ganging up on Kevin, that’s Julie boyfriend, and I, and forcing us to join them in a small, but fairly formal dinner party. Luckily, they did all the cooking (Kevin admitted that he burns everything he touches in the kitchen and even though I can cook basic, every day meals, I’m really not good with elaborate dinners), but we were nominated to do the dishes and cleaning up afterwards whilst, Liz and Julie relaxed on the sofa with a glass of wine each. However, after the meal, we all sat in their living room and spent the rest of the evening chatting and laughing together. It was definitely a fun night… although I have to admit that two twenty-something women with a tendency to start giggling and not stop, and a bottle of high-percentage white wine do not go that well together (but don’t tell Liz I said that).

Together, we finish off the breakfast I prepared and when the tray is empty, I take it back out to the kitchen, giving Liz strict instructions not to go anywhere until I get back.

“So, will you tell me now why I wasn’t supposed to get up?” she asks when I re-enter the room a couple of minutes later.

“Nope,” I grin and hold out my hand to her. She slips her hand in mine and I lead her out of the room, towards the bathroom. I think she finally realises my intentions when I close the bathroom door behind us and lock it firmly.

“Um, Max… is that really necessary?” she questions with a smile as she nods towards the lock. “We’re the only people in this apartment. I doubt anyone’s gonna try to invade our privacy.”

“Oh, ha ha,” I retort with a grin. “I can lock the door if I want to. Besides, what if Julie were to drop by and let herself in? You wouldn’t want her walking in on us, would you?”

“No, I guess not,” she agrees, her eyes growing wide at the thought of her friend seeing something she shouldn’t.

“So, Mrs. Evans,” I start smoothly, steering the conversation away from Julie. “Now that we’re all alone in here, what shall we do with ourselves?”

“Well,” she starts, with a mischievous grin, as she reaches over to turn on the shower. “I don’t know about you, but I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Oh, well, since I’m not going to do anything that doesn’t involve you, I guess I’ll be showering too,” I answer playfully.

Whilst her back is turned, I quickly pull off the T-shirt and sweatpants I slept in (it’s been way too cold last few nights to sleep san clothing) and sidle up behind her, slipping my hands under her pyjama top so that they rest on her stomach.

“Well, if you must join me, then I guess it’ll be okay,” she murmurs, her voice becoming slightly breathless as I press the length of my body against her.

“Thank you for being so kind, Mrs. Evans,” I mutter, as I lower my head to nuzzle her neck, my hands creeping up over her skin to cup her breasts.

I remove my lips from her neck, as Liz reaches for her top and pulls it over her head, before slipping her fingers into her pyjama pants and pulling them down, leaving her in only a pair of tiny lace panties. My breathing coming faster as my body presses against her soft, warm skin, I trail my hands back down to her hips and slip my fingers beneath the elastic of her panties.

“Oh, God,” she breathes, as I gently stroke her centre for a moment, before easing the panties down over her hips. She kicks them off and together we step into the shower. As she reaches for her bottle of shampoo, I take a moment to watch her. It’s amazing how she can still take me breath away with just one glimpse of her perfect body, even after more than four years of knowing her intimately. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of being with her.

With a grin, I reach for her once more, causing her to drop the shampoo bottle as I pin her against the shower wall and lower my lips to hers. As the kiss becomes more passionate, I urge her legs around my waist and she jumps up eagerly. We make love in the shower, slow and leisurely at first, before the anticipation becomes too much and neither of us can hold back any longer. Amazingly, we climax together, which to be honest, doesn’t happen all that often. Usually Liz is the first to reach her peak when we make love.

Afterwards, we take our time soaping each other up and washing each other’s hair, which only results in us getting so worked up again that we make love a second time. However, by the time we step out of the shower again, we’re both so relaxed that all the stressed over Christmas has just disappeared and we’re fully prepared for spending the holiday with our parents.

***

We arrive at my parents’ house by six-thirty pm and are greeted by not just my mom and dad, but Nancy and Jeff Parker, Isabel and Alex, and Michael and Maria. It seems that my mom decided to cook a big Christmas Eve dinner for everyone, so we spend the evening catching up with the gossip and discussing when Michael and Maria are going to get married. The two of them seemed to be having a little trouble agreeing on a wedding date, but I think that they’re gonna try for an Autumn ceremony.

After dinner, we see off Liz’s parents, wishing them Merry Christmas and confirming the plan to spend Christmas afternoon and tomorrow night with them. Michael, Maria and Alex leave soon after, to spend Christmas with their own families. By eleven-thirty, my parents and Isabel have headed up to bed, leaving Liz and I alone on the living room couch.

“It’s nice to see everyone together again, isn’t it?” says Liz as she curls up beside me and rests her head on my shoulder.

“Yeah, it is,” I agree. “It’s just like old times.”

“Although, I have to say that it’s also nice to have our own place away from Roswell where we can concentrate on our lives together without the interference of parents,” she adds, with a chuckle.

Her words give me the perfect opportunity to bring up a subject that I’ve been giving some thought to over the last couple of days.

“Lizzie?”

“Yeah?” she asks, looking up at me from where her head rests on my chest.

“I know you’ve only just started your job at the lab, but what do you think of the possibility of moving away from New Mexico?” I start tentatively.

“Moving away?” she questions, sitting up to face me properly. “What brought this on?”

“There’s an opportunity at work for a few of us to be transferred to a new branch that has just opened in a bigger city. My boss approached me on Friday to ask if I was interested in one of the jobs there,” I tell her. “It would mean a slightly higher position and more money, but it would also mean moving out of state.”

“Really?” she exclaims. “Max, that’s great!”

“It is,” I agree with a nod. “But I need your honest opinion on this. Would you be happy if we were to move away? We wouldn’t be near our friends and family here and we wouldn’t be able to see them very often,” I admit.

She frowns at my words, “Max… exactly how far are we talking here? You mean, like LA or New York or somewhere, right?”

“Um, not exactly,” I stall, wondering just how to break the news. “The job is in London.”

“London?!” she practically squeaks in surprise. “I-I’m guessing you don’t mean the London in Canada?”

“No, I don’t,” I shake my head. “They’re offering me a position as a research assistant in the European branch.”

“Wow,” she exhales heavily. “I mean…London…”

“Liz, as much as this job would be a great opportunity for me, I’m not even going to consider taking it unless you are totally happy with the decision. If you don’t want to leave your job or your family, I’ll understand completely.”

“Wow,” she says again. “God, I don’t know, Max. I mean, on the one hand, I have always wondered what it would be like to live in Europe, but on the other… Max we’ve only just got settled in Santa Fe and I have only been working at the lab for a few weeks; maybe it’s too soon to uproot our lives and move away.”

“Liz,” I say earnestly, taking her hand in mine. “If you don’t want to move, we won’t move. I’ll go with whatever you decide. I just want you to be happy.”

“Honestly, I think I could be happy anywhere as long as we were together,” she smiles at me. “But this is a big decision. Can you give me some time to think it over?”

“Of course,” I return the smile, as I hook my arm around her shoulder and pull her close again. “Take all the time you need.”

“What about you, Max?” she asks then. “It’s not just my family we’d be leaving behind. Don’t you have that decision to make too?”

“Yeah, I do,” I reply. “But I’ve been thinking about it today and I’ve come to the conclusion that, like you, I can be happy wherever we end up, as long as we have each other.”

“Aww, you’re so sweet,” she murmurs with a giggle.

“That I am,” I declare playfully.

Liz lets out a sigh and rolls her eyes at my antics, before climbing off me and holding out her hand to me. “Come on, sweet guy, let’s go to bed.”

TBC…

[Heavenli24]

Hi guys, thanks for your feedback :

LairaBehr4 - Thanks .

frenchkiss70 (x3) - You know, I guess what's thrown me about everyone's feedback in general is the notion that Max and Liz have lost their passion, because I honestly wasn't aware that I was writing their scenes together any differently than usual. I also have to confess that part of the reason we haven't seen Max's reactions to Liz or his admiration for her when they are intimate is because I got a little lazy when I was writing and didn't actually include them... I didn't consider it would come across as Max not wanting her as much as he used to .

guelbebek - Thanks .

Gaby7tvm (x3) - I apologise, I was having a bad couple of days when all this discussion was going on and I guess I took everyone's comments more to heart than usual (why is it that after an entire semester of doing no work, I end up with exams to study for and project deadlines to meet over the Christmas vacation as well as trying to finish the story?).

And I have always have been an ugly duckling, Im pretty, but I dont interest guys, I have always benn very shy and serious, and I dont do kissing or any of that stuff without the guy being my boyfriend. And I dont go out so much, I dont like to smoke, I drink very moderated. ok that is why.

Actually, that's kind of why I'm stuck right now. The last time I kissed someone I'd just met was when I was 15 (although I have to say, it was a pretty good kiss ) and I didn't go further, like my friends did. I don't like the idea of 'pulling' (the British term for hooking up with a random guy) just for the hell of it and I'm not going to sleep with someone who is not my boyfriend. And that's the problem... it's the getting out there and meeting someone part that I'm having issues with . The other issue I have is that the guys I like never seem to be interested and the guys who do ask me out, I'm not attracted to in the slightest !

clueless - Thanks .

Leigh - Honestly, it's hard for me to know what to write in response to your thoughts because I already know what happens in the rest of the story . I guess all I can say it that I hope the future parts will at least partly change your mind about Max .

Lizziebehr (x2) - I guess in a way, Max was two people at once... but maybe that's not all that uncommon. I know I can act completely differently when I'm with my family than when I'm with my friends. I guess the fact that Max started falling for Alex when he and Liz were perfectly happy is just one of life's mysteries. It just happened. He began to obsess over her, but in his mind, I guess it was like obsessing over a car or something. It didn't mean he didn't love Liz any less, but something inexplicable was drawing him to Alex and he didn't know how to control it. He had to 'take a bite from the forbidden fruit' in order to come to his senses.

Actually you are the only writer that has made me come out my lurkdoom because this story is very good, and I really liked your two previous stories very much as well!

Thank you - I'm flattered .

sweetbrowneyes – Thank you . Yeah, there is a double standard present in stories and I guess that’s because the original idea of fanfic was to write the characters the way we wanted them to have acted on the show. As great as all those stories are, I felt like trying something different this time. I guess that I’m finding myself more interested in writing my own thing now than something related to the show. Writing Max and Liz as similar characters to the show can get repetitive – giving them the same or similar personality traits in every story. Of course Max is wrong for doing what he did, but I know plenty of good, moral people who have made stupid, reckless mistakes in their lives, but that doesn’t necessarily make them bad people.

trulov – Thank you . I’m glad that you can see more what I was trying to go for here. As I’ve mentioned earlier it really wasn’t my intention to make it seem like Max and Liz had lost their passion. However, I did want to explore the various situations that marriage can bring, i.e. perhaps living together for the first time, learning to give and take and to compromise on certain things etc., but that doesn’t mean that Max and Liz aren’t still passionate. Even though they’ve just gotten married, Max still has to go to work everyday and Liz has to find ways to spend her time; they have to make sure the bills are paid every month, there’s food on the table and the laundry gets done every week etc. That’s life and it would probably be ignorant of me not to include that in Max and Liz’s married life.


***

Part Twenty-Four

Max

Tuesday May 2nd 2006

“I need a break,” I mutter, as I lean back in my desk chair and stretch my arms before rubbing my aching neck. Studying is exhausting!

I push the chair away from the desk and stand up so I can stretch my legs too. With a quick glance at the open textbooks and half-finished study notes on the desk, I shake my head in dismissal and head for the kitchen where I find John sat at the kitchen table, scribbling frantic notes onto some kind of diagram. There are books strewn all over the place and a small pile of junk food wrappers lies to his right. We share a look and eye-roll as I greet him with a ‘hey’. For the past week, our apartment has become a study-haven. A strange kind of quiet has settled over all of us and you can’t go anywhere without seeing open textbooks and stressed out roommates. In fact, Mark has gone as far to tape revision cards all over the place, including the bathroom mirror and above the TV!

I grab a cherry coke from the fridge and sink into the chair opposite John, before glancing at the clock. It’s eleven-thirty am, which means it’s one-thirty in Boston. Liz will be halfway through the microbiology final right now. I hope it goes well for her; she’s had so much trouble trying to concentrate on her finals in the last few days. The past couple of months have been hard on both of us and I really hope she can put it behind her, at least for this week, and do the best she can in the exams.

“Taking a break?” asks John knowingly, interrupting my thoughts.

“Yeah,” I give him a sheepish grin. “There’s only so much Shakespeare I can take in one go.”

“Yeah, I can understand that,” he replies with a roll of his eyes. “I’m having the same problem with this stuff.”

“I’m giving it ten minutes,” I say. “Then it’s right on to twentieth-century lit.”

“Man, I can’t wait until this is all over,” he says with a sigh. “After finals we are going out for a major celebration.”

“I’m definitely looking forward to that,” I grin, taking a swig of cherry coke.

“Hey, Max,” says John thoughtfully, as he puts down his pencil. “What changed?”

“Huh?” I wonder, frowning in confusion. What is he talking about?

“Well, ever since Liz was here and you went down to Roswell, you seem… different, I guess. I know you guys have been through a lot lately, but you’ve barely done anything but study and talk to Liz on the phone for the last month. You haven’t kicked a ball around with us lately and I don’t think I’ve even seen you hanging out with Alex in a while. What’s up?”

I let out a sigh. “I realised that graduating with good grades and trying to get a job are my priorities now, and Liz… I guess being with her again, especially after what happened has made me realise how much I love her and need her in my life. I haven’t been the most attentive fiancé this year and now I’m doing all I can to make that up to her and to help her get through everything,” I tell him honestly. “With everything going on, I just haven’t had any time for much else.” I haven’t told him about what happened with Alex or that, as a result of my stupid move back in March; we’re not really as close as we were before. “Besides, Alex is seeing this guy from her study group and so we’re both pretty busy right now anyway.”

“Oh, okay,” he says, with a slightly puzzled expression. “I didn’t think Alex dated much.”

I shrug, “She went out with the guy a couple of times back in the fall, but I guess nothing more happened until recently.”

“Oh,” he nods, before turning back to his books.

I feel a sense of relief knowing Alex that the fact is dating someone doesn’t bother me in the slightest. In fact, my ambivalence towards this news only reinforces the fact that my so-called feelings for her were not serious or real at all, and that finding out Liz was in the hospital was the wake-up call I needed to get my life back on track. The mere thought that I could have lost Liz that day made me realise how much she is a part of me, and that after Graduation, I don’t ever want to be separated from her again.

We sit together in silence for a couple of minutes, John reading a textbook chapter as I drink my cherry coke. However, the opening and closing of the front door and the sudden appearance of Pete in the kitchen doorway breaks the silence.

“What’s up?” he greets.

“Hey, man,” both John and I reply simultaneously.

“There’s a letter here for you, Max,” he states, holding it out for me. “It was in the mailbox downstairs.”

“Thanks,” I say, taking it from him.

I turn it over and a wave of nervousness comes over me when I see the postmark. It’s from a Santa Fe-based publishing company that I sent a job application to a couple of weeks ago. I close my eyes briefly, before tearing it open. After I totally messed up the interview in Phoenix and didn’t get the job, I’m really hoping it’s not a rejection.

“Well, what is it?” asks John as I unfold the paper and begin to read.

The words ‘We would like you to come in for an interview’ jump out at me and I break into a grin.

“I have a job interview,” I tell him. “The week after graduation.”

“Congrats, man,” says Pete, giving me a slap on the back.

“Yeah, congratulations,” smiles John.

“Thanks, guys,” I tell them, as I refold the sheet of paper and slip it back into the envelope. I let out a breath; it is great news, but now I have finals, graduation and a job interview all in the space of a couple of weeks.

I check the clock again; it’s now eleven-fifty. Liz’s exam finishes at three her time, one o’clock here, so I still have an hour and ten minutes to wait before I can call her to see how it went and to give her the good news about my interview.

***

Thursday May 11th 2006

I can’t believe it’s almost over. My last ever college exam starts in a little under two hours and all I can think about is the sense of relief I’m going to feel in about five hours time. And just think, in two days, I’ll be a college graduate!

I glance at my new cell phone, which I bought when I was in Boston with Liz at Spring Break, since my old one was irreparable. I’ve been trying to resist calling Liz this week, for fear of distraction from my study schedule, but I just can’t put it off any longer. I grab the phone and press number one on the speed dial.

“Hey, are they over yet?” is her greeting the second she picks up the phone.

“Hello, to you too, Lizzie,” I chuckle softly.

“Sorry,” she apologises. “I’m just nervous for you.”

“Well, the last one is this afternoon,” I tell her. “And after that, it’ll be over.”

“That’s good,” she replies.

“So, have you got your results yet?” I query, although I know she probably hasn’t because she would have called me already if she had.

“No, not yet,” she tells me. “Should be tomorrow, though.”

It seems Harvard takes longer than UNM to grade papers, although I guess that’s because their graduation isn’t until June, whereas mine is in two days time and so the professors have to grade our papers within twenty-four hours.

“And then you can come home?” I ask hopefully.

“Yeah, then I can come home,” she chuckles. “But you knew that anyway, since my plane gets in tomorrow night.”

“Yeah, I did,” I grin. “But I was just checking.”

Liz is moving out of her apartment for good tomorrow. She’s already shipped most of her stuff home, so it’ll just be her and a couple of suitcases arriving at the airport. She’s gonna stay here with me tomorrow night and then we’ll meet up with my parents and Isabel, who will be staying in one of the local hotels, just before the commencement ceremony on Saturday morning.

“So, are you all prepared for the exam?” she asks then.

“Yeah, I think so,” I say. “You know what they say: ‘if you don’t know it by now, you’re never gonna know it.’”

“Yeah, I guess,” she replies with a small chuckle, which makes me smile too.

I’m happy for her right now; she seems much happier since the end of finals, than she was a couple of weeks ago. After all the hard work she managed to put into studying in the end, I’m positive it paid off, although she isn’t so sure about that.

“Yeah, I’m just trying not to think about it now. I wanna go in calm and confident,” I say, trying not to sound as nervous about it as I feel.

“I’m sure you’ll do great,” she assures me.

“So, what are you up to right now?” I ask, changing the subject to something not quite as scary as the thought of my looming exam.

“Well, the girls and I are getting ready for one last day of fun before we all leave tomorrow.”

“That sounds nice,” I respond with a smile. “What are you doing?”

“Well, first off, we’re going into the city for lunch and an afternoon of shopping, then we’re going to the theatre to see this cool play that Grace managed to get us tickets to and after that I think we’re gonna to go a cocktail bar or something,” she tells me excitedly.

“Well, that sounds much more exciting than my day!” I joke.

“Yeah, I’m really looking forward to it. I could do with some fun to take my mind off the impending exam results.”

“I hope you have a great time,” I tell her, before sneaking a quick glance at the clock.

“Thanks.”

“Look, I’d better get going now,” I say regretfully. “I need to fix some lunch and I wanna get to the exam room nice and early.”

“Okay,” says Liz. “Good luck for this afternoon, okay? And I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Can’t wait,” I reply softly.

“Me either,” she murmurs.

“I love you,” I respond.

“Me too,” she says.

“Bye, Lizzie.”

“Bye, Max.”

I hang up the phone and slide it into the backpack on the floor beside me. I sit up straight and take a deep breath, before picking up my bag with my last-minute revision notes inside and heading to the kitchen to make a snack for lunch.

Just four more hours until it’s all over, I think to myself as I make a sandwich before leaving for my exam.

TBC…

[Heavenli24]

Hey guys, thanks for your feedback :

LairaBehr4 -

clueless - Thanks .

jbangelo - Thank you .

frenchkiss70 - Thanks .

I just don't get why Max, while being happy and apparently in love with Liz, could fall for someone else.

It's just one of those things that defies logic, I guess. You can't always control who you get a crush on and you can't always control who you no longer have a crush on.
Why, after 5 years of not finding Jason Behr attractive in the slightest, did I take one look at a picture of him in 2005 and drool? I have no idea .

I wanted the situation to be a kind of 'you only want it and long for it until you get it' scenario. The only thing that could put a stop to Max's crush was to actually kiss Alex, thereby making him understand that, in actual fact, he didn't want it. I guess that's why he didn't appear to feel that guilty around Liz, because perhaps kissing Alex was a good thing... while the kiss itself was a stupid move, it made him realise that he didn't want anyone else but Liz.


***

Part Twenty-Five

Liz

Saturday May 13th 2006

“There you go,” I say with a smile as I adjust Max’s silver cap on his head and straighten the tassel so that it hangs on the right-hand side. I take a step back to admire him in his graduation robes.

“Well?” he grins, holding out his arms to show the effect.

“Wow,” I murmur, raking my eyes over him. “You look so… intellectual.”

“Is that so?” he grins.

“Yeah,” I grin and bite my lip. Who knew graduation robes could look so sexy? He looks gorgeous in his and I’d bet anything no one else could make silver look this good!

“Hey, come here,” he smiles, reaching for me.

I happily comply, slipping my arms around his waist as he leans down for a kiss. I close my eyes and allow myself to get lost in the feel of his soft lips caressing mine and it is then that I realise that I’m really am getting over what happened in March and I am once again looking forward to our future together.

“You did it, Max,” I murmur against his lips when we finally come up for air. “In just a few hours you’ll be an official college graduate.”

“Hey, you did it too,” he replies, pulling back a little to look down into my eyes as he reaches up and tucks a free strand of hair behind my ear. “You practically aced all your exams, Lizzie.”

“I did not,” I scoff and roll my eyes.

Okay, so I did pass all my finals and I will be graduating in a couple of weeks’ time, but by no means did I ace those exams. My official GPA according to my final results yesterday was a 3.3, not exactly top of the class considering that I was competing against some of the best students in the country.

“In my eyes, you got the best grades possible,” he murmurs softly. “I’m so proud of you, Lizzie, for getting through the last couple of months and for not giving up on college.”

“Thank you,” I smile gently. “And I’m proud of you, too.”

We share one more kiss, before the doorbell rings, indicating the arrival of Max’s parents and his sister. After they’ve hugged us both and commented on how grown-up Max looks in his robes, we gather our things together and head over to The Pit, UNM’s basketball stadium, for the ceremony.

***

I can’t contain my grin as the graduating students make their way down the arena steps and towards their seats, especially when I spot Max in the crowd, or at least, I think it’s him – there are so many students here that it’s hard to tell.

As the speeches take place, my eyes search the sea of silver caps and gowns for the back of his head, but I can’t see exactly where he is. I finally spot him when, after the dean of his school has asked all the English students to stand so he can confer the degrees to them as a whole group, they line up to walk across the stage individually.

I can’t help grinning happily at Max’s parents and Isabel, when Max confidently makes his way across the stage and shakes hands with the dean of the English department, whilst accepting the keepsake scroll, which is handed to each student instead of their official diploma – for some strange reason, Max won’t receive his real diploma for another few weeks. I have to force myself to sit calmly through the remainder of the ceremony, as the other schools and colleges within the university are called up to the stage. All I can think about is congratulating him with a hug and a kiss as soon as we can get out of here.

When the ceremony is finally over and the students all make their way back up the arena steps, I am quick to urge the Evans’ to come with me to find Max outside and when I do finally spot him in the crowd, I immediately run straight into his arms.

“Congratulations!” I exclaim as I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him enthusiastically. His hands come up to rest on my lower back and he chuckles against my lips. “What?” I ask, my tone affectionate as I pull back a little to look up at him.

“Nothing,” he grins and shakes his head. “Just… that was a very enthusiastic greeting!”

“Well, I’m happy for you,” I grin. “You’re a college graduate now.”

“You’d better believe it,” he murmurs cockily, causing me to chuckle back and roll my eyes.

I give him another quick hug as I press my lip to his neck, before pulling back and slipping my hand into his.

“Come on, your family is waiting to congratulate you,” I tell him, nodding towards the left where Philip, Diane and Isabel are standing, waiting anxiously to see him. “And don’t forget the reception hosted by the President of the university in a minute.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he grins, and I stick my tongue out at him playfully as we approach his family.

We attend the reception being held at the arena’s main concourse, before heading back to the campus and Max’s department for his convocation ceremony. On the way, Max offers greetings and congratulations to several of his fellow students as they walk by with their families. I don’t recognise many of them, apart from his roommate, Mark with his family, and his friend, Alex with her parents and boyfriend – Max told me a few weeks ago that she had been seeing someone new; I think his name is David… something. We stop so Max can give her his congratulations before we carry on to the English department.

The convocation ceremony is somewhat similar to the main event at The Pit, albeit a scaled down version. The dean of the school invites a gust speaker to make their speech and then the students are once again acknowledged by name. I can’t help but watch with a silly grin on my face as the dean then wishes congratulations to the class of 2006 and then they all throw their caps in the air in celebration. Just think, in a few weeks, that’ll be me.

Afterwards, Max’s parents treat us all to a celebratory meal at a really lovely restaurant downtown, which is absolutely wonderful. The food is delicious and since Max has just graduated, the waiters bring a complimentary bottle of champagne to our table. The five of us spend the rest of the day together, laughing and joking and just generally enjoying the day. I chat with Diane about the flowers and catering for the wedding and Isabel informs me that she and Maria attended a dress fitting last weekend, and that the bridesmaid’s gowns are looking wonderful.

But the thing that really sticks out in my mind about the day is that I really am enjoying life again. Whenever I look at Max, everything around me fades away and all I can think about is being with him, both emotionally and physically. That’s when I realise that I’m ready to be intimate with him again. Back in March, I thought I knew what I wanted when I asked Max to make love to me, but even though I fell asleep before anything major could happen, I knew afterwards that it was mostly my grief talking. Now, though, it’s different. I’ve finally gotten over what happened back in March and I feel ready to move forward and not dwell on it any longer.

At about eight pm, Diane and Philip drop Max and I back at his apartment. We’re going to stay here tonight and drive back home tomorrow, but Max’s parents have offered to load up their car with some of his things so that we don’t have to try and get them into the jeep in the morning. When we’ve stuffed as much of Max’s junk as possible in the Evans’ station wagon, the Philip, Diane and Isabel, say their goodbyes and head back down to Roswell, leaving Max and I alone in an empty apartment (all three of his roommates are spending the night at hotels with their families, since they’ve all travelled a long way to get here).

“So,” I murmur, closing the front door behind me as I advance towards my fiancé.

“So…?” he questions, with a smile.

“Well, I was thinking…” I murmur playfully, a mischievous grin sliding onto my face, as I come to a stop in front of him. “That you deserve to be congratulated properly for your success.”

“Yeah?” he grins indulgently, as he raises an eyebrow.

”Yeah,” I confirm with a nod, bringing my hands up to rest on his chest. “Let’s go to your room.”

“My room?” he gulps, bringing his hands up to cover mine. His expression turns serious. “Liz, are you sure about this? It’ll be our first time since…”

He doesn’t have to say he rest; I hear the unspoken words just fine…since before I lost the baby.

“Yes, I’m sure, Max,” I state firmly, looking right into his eyes. “Totally and completely sure.”

“Okay,” he says finally, with a gentle smile. “Okay.”

He lowers our hands and links his fingers with mine, leading me through the apartment to his bedroom. For some reason, I find myself feeling nervous, yet exhilarated at the same time. I guess it’s because Max and I haven’t been intimate in so long. Actually, now that I think about it, I almost can’t believe we haven’t been together in five months – it seems like forever!

When we reach Max’s room, he gently guides me inside and then pushes the door closed, before turning to face me. At first, we simply stand there, a few feet apart, just staring at each other. However, after a few seconds, Max walks towards me, gently cups the back of my neck with his hand and brings his lips to mine for a kiss that is filled with both emotion and love. I sink into his soft, warm kisses, sliding my hands up over his chest to tangle in his hair as his other hand slips around my waist and pulls me closer.

There’s nothing rushed or impatient about the next few minutes; we simply enjoy the feelings and sensations of being together again. Slowly, Max walks me backwards towards his bed and we sink down onto the mattress as one. Tonight is about reacquainting ourselves with one another, thoroughly and lovingly. I savour the feel of Max’s warm body against mine, as items of clothing are removed and dropped to the floor one at a time.

I suck in a much-needed breath when we finally join after months of separation. As Max begins to rock his hips, we both let out a moan of pleasure and relief. It feels so good to have him inside me again, bringing me to a kind of pleasure only he can. As out movements become more frantic, he urges me to open my eyes and look up at him. I do so and suddenly a strange calm settles over us. I get lost in his eyes and it’s like everything else around me disappears and there’s only him and me, in our own little world as we head towards completion.

Afterwards, we curl up together in his bed, unwilling to let go of each other now that we’ve renewed our physical relationship again. We talk about various things; we reminisce over the events of the day; we talk about Max’s impending job interview in Santa Fe next week and how I’m going to drive up with him and we’ll make a day of it; and we discuss what we’re going to do between now and the wedding. Eventually, Max falls asleep and I follow shortly after, wrapped up in his arms, sated and happy.

TBC…

[Heavenli24]

Thanks for the feedback, everyone :

Gaby7tvm - I'm just gonna say thanks, since I already replied to your comments .

guelbebek - Thanks .

Emz80m - Thanks . You'll find out more about the whole Liz-Max-Alex thing soon.

frenchkiss70 - We'll find out whether or not Liz knows soon .

And will Max have to kiss all the girls he's attracted to, just to know it's not really what he wants? Maybe he should tell Liz the truth that way Liz, "hey babe, I cheated on you with Alex but don't worry it helped to find out it's you I want, so it's a good thing, right?" It's really good to be Max, he has found a very enjoyable and guilt-free way to cheat on his fiancee while thinking it's for the best.

I'm not sure that's entirely fair on Max... in all the time that he and Liz have been together, he's never even looked at another girl; Alex was a special case. Apart from Maria, he's never been good friends with any other girls, so maybe that's what threw him about Alex - being almost as close to her as he was to Liz when they were just friends. It's not like he's looking at women he barely knows and thinking about kissing them, and it's unlikely he's ever going to be in a similar situation again (i.e. have a similar friendship with another woman as he did with Alex), especially now that he and Liz are married and together all the time - they have each other to love and talk to and keep company.

LairaBehr4 - Thanks !

jbangelo - Thanks - I couldn't have Liz suffer for too long... she did enough of that in I'll be There.

maya - That's the big question isn't it... What about Alex? Don't worry, you'll find out soon .

clueless - Thanks .


***

Interlude Twelve

Liz

Present Day – Sunday February 4th 2007

Okay, I’ll admit it: it only took me until the day after Christmas to make a decision about Max’s suggestion of moving to London. As much as I like my current job and having my family close by, this is such a great opportunity; not just for Max, but for the both of us. After all, it’s not every day that you have the chance to move to a different continent.

So, as you might have guessed, my answer was yes and now we’re in the process of trying to sort everything out. Unfortunately, it’s going to be a while before we can leave for London. Right after the New Year, Max told his boss that he’d like to take the job, which started off a long process of filling in work permit forms for Max, visa applications for both of us and doing all the other things we need to prepare in order to move. Since it can take several weeks to get our visas, we won’t be able to leave the US for at least another month. However, Max’s company has agreed to hold his position in London until the beginning of April, which will hopefully give us enough time to find somewhere to live and get settled in first.

So, for the last few days, I’ve been making lists of things we’ll need to take with us, things we’ll have to get rid of and things we need to do before we go…

“Hey, Liz, have you seen my blue shirt?” comes a shout from the bedroom.

… well, at least I’ve been trying to, anyway.

“It was hanging in the closet last time I saw it,” I call back, before returning my attention to the pad of paper on the kitchen table in front of me.

“Liz, it’s not here!” he shouts again a couple of minutes later.

I roll my eyes and put down the pen I’m holding as I stand up and make my way out of the kitchen. “It was in there yesterday, Max,” I return, as I enter our bedroom. “I saw it.”

I stop, holding back a giggle at the sight of Max, half-dressed and kneeling on the floor with his head stuck in the closet. He’s pulling out all kinds of things from the bottom and grunting in annoyance every time he grabs something that is not his shirt. My eyes roam the items of clothing hanging neatly on the rack above his head and I quickly locate the shirt, which is tucked away in the corner. However, I stand in the doorway for a few moments, my arms folded across my chest and a smirk on my face as I watch him search. I would tell him that the shirt is right where he hung it up the other day, but I’m kinda enjoying the view… his butt looks so great in those tight jeans.

“Liz?” comes the now exasperated tone of his voice a few seconds later. Obviously, he’s noticed that I’ve just been standing here watching him instead of helping him look it.

With a grin, I walk over to the closet and pull out the shirt. “Is this what you’re looking for?”

“What?” he asks, straightening so he can look up at me. “Where did you find it?”

“This,” I start, balancing the hanger on one finger, “was hanging right in here. Which is where I said it was.”

“But,” he frowns, confusion evident in his expression, as he climbs to his feet, “it wasn’t there a minute ago.”

“If you say so, Max,” I grin, handing him the shirt. “Why did you want to find it so badly, anyway?”

“Because I want to wear it this afternoon,” he tells me, as if it were obvious.

“Max, that’s a smart shirt and we’re only going for lunch,” I remind him.

“I know,” he shrugs, giving me a sheepish smile as he places the shirt on the bed. “But I do like to look at least halfway decent when I take you out for food.”

“Okay, then,” I nod, humouring him.

“Hey,” he murmurs with a grin, slipping his arms around my waist. “Can I help it if you bring out the gentleman in me?”

“If you say so, Max,” I chuckle. “But remember, we knew each other for many years before you grew into a gentlemen.”

“Hey, I resent that,” he protests. “I’ve always been a gentleman.”

“Again, if you say so,” I repeat, as I wind my arms around his neck and pull him to me for a hungry kiss, to which he complies eagerly. “Hmm,” I murmur a moment later. “Have I told you lately how sexy you look in nothing but jeans?” I rise up on tiptoe to capture his earlobe between my teeth, before whispering, “It gets me so hot.”

“Ahh, Lizzie, you’re killing me here,” he returns throatily, emphasising his point by cupping my butt with his hands and pressing my lower body against his rapidly growing arousal.

Well, all I can say is that I don’t get any more list writing done and Max’s precious shirt on the bed is pretty wrinkled by the time he slips it on two hours later. However, we do make it out to one of the friendly restaurants in the Plaza in time for a lovely light lunch and we do actually manage to discuss our plans for the next few weeks over coffee afterwards.

***

Tuesday April 3rd 2007

This is it; we’ve finally made it to London!

We arrived here a week ago, to cold and windy weather and a temperature of about 50 degrees – a far cry from the sunshine and 70-degree weather we left behind in Santa Fe – but I’ve been so excited to be in a new country that the temperature hasn’t bothered me all that much, especially since I’ve spent four years living on the East coast, which has a similar climate. Max, on the other hand, is not particularly enthused by the cold temperatures and dull days. Having spent almost his entire life in New Mexico where, even if it is cold, the sun always shines, coming to live in a country where there is one hundred percent cloud cover on most days is not the most fun thing to do.

However, we’ve been so busy finding an apartment to live in (which is so expensive compared to Santa Fe) and discovering the sights, that after a few hours he temporarily forgot about his initial discomfort. Luckily, we managed to find a nice one-bed apartment near Clapham Common, although both Max and I were rather shocked at the rent prices. Our two-bed apartment in Santa Fe was almost twice as big as this one and we were paying $650 a month; and now… well we’re suddenly very glad that Max will be earning more money in his new position, because the cheapest place we could find in a halfway decent area charges almost $2,000 per month – for just one bedroom, a tiny kitchen-slash-living room and a bathroom. But I guess the one good thing about the apartment is that it comes fully furnished, which means that Max and I don’t have to worry about spending out on furniture and other things we might need.

Although Max doesn’t start his new job until next Tuesday – it’s Easter weekend and apparently here in the UK, they have two public holidays surrounding Easter: Good Friday and Easter Monday, so his new contract begins on April 10th – his boss is holding a welcome party tonight for all the employees of the new London branch of the company. I’m pretty excited, because it will mean the chance to meet and get to know his new colleagues – who are both fellow Americans and also Britons – and their wives and girlfriends, and hopefully we can make some new friends here.

“Hey,” Max murmurs, slipping his arms around my waist from behind, interrupting my thoughts as I look out of the window of our new apartment.

“Hey,” I reply with a smile, turning my head to kiss him on the lips.

“What’re you thinking about?” he asks as he rests his chin on my shoulder.

I shrug, “Just taking it all in. It’s so surreal, I can’t believe we’re really here.”

“I know,” he agrees. “It’s kind of overwhelming, isn’t it? I don’t know whether to be excited that we’re going to be living in England, or scared shitless about trying to adjust to it all.”

“Yeah,” I agree softly, as doubt begins to seep into my thoughts. We stand together in silence for a few seconds, the atmosphere almost sombre, before Max shifts slightly behind me.

“You know, we haven’t christened this apartment yet,” he says suggestively. “You wanna do something about that?”

An indulgent grin slides across my face as I turn to face him, running my hands up over his chest, “Sure, why not? After all, we christened our other apartment thoroughly… it just wouldn’t be fair not to do the same with this one.”

“I totally agree,” he murmurs, his gaze dropping to my lips.

With a grin, he slides his hands under my legs and lifts me into his arms. I wrap my hands around his neck as he carries me into our new bedroom. We make love on our nice big new bed… and then in the kitchen… and again in the bathroom… and by the time we have to get ready for the welcome party, we both feel a great deal more relaxed and comfortable with our decision to move here.

TBC…

[Heavenli24]

Hey guys, thanks for the feedback :

guelbebek - Thanks .

LairaBehr4 - Yeah, aren't they?

Gaby7tvm - Thanks , let's hope Max can continue to do the right thing in the future.

Natalie36 - Yeah !

dreamsatnight -

clueless - Thanks .

jbangelo - Thanks . Hopefully they'll do just fine in London .


A/N: It's not exactly related to this story, but I just wanted to add this:



for Favourite First Chapter - Something More.

Thanks to everyone who voted !


***

Part Twenty-Six

Max

Thursday May 18th 2006

“Hey, are you okay?” asks Liz as I pull up into a space outside the Crashdown. I paste a smile on my face as I put the car in park and turn to face her.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I tell her, hoping my thoughts don’t show on my face.

“Are you sure?” she questions again. “You’ve been really quiet all the way back from Santa Fe. Have you just been putting on a brave face about how well the interview went this afternoon? Because, you were fine this morning and now you’re acting differently.”

“I said, I’m fine, okay?” I snap irritably, as I hop out of the jeep and grab our bags of shopping from Santa Fe.

“Max,” says Liz, as she gets out of the passenger side and looks at me with a frown. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” I shrug, avoiding her gaze, as I begin to walk towards the Crashdown. “I’m just tired from driving all the way back to Roswell.”

“Huh,” she scoffs, shaking her head. “I doubt that, since I offered to drive home and you flatly refused.”

Ignoring her spot-on conclusion, I simply head inside for the back door of the café and let myself in. By the time I’ve climbed the stairs to the Parker’s apartment, I feel bad about snapping at her. I really didn’t mean to, but I’ve been thinking a lot about things the last couple of days and I’ve been getting irritated easily. See, now that finals are over and Liz is feeling okay again, I need to tell her about what happened with Alex in March.

I’ve been putting it off for so long, convincing myself that either Liz wasn’t up to hearing it, or was too bogged down with schoolwork and exams that distracting her with my confession would not be a good thing, but I can’t do that any longer. After all, Alex has been trying to persuade me to say something for a while now and although I don’t want to hurt Liz, I can’t pretend she doesn’t have a right to know. My problem now is how I’m going to pluck up the courage to do it; hence the reason I’ve been so irritable for the last few hours – I’m shit scared of broaching the subject with her.

“Max!” comes Liz’s annoyed voice, as I open the apartment door and step inside. Liz enters behind me, breathing heavily from running up to catch up. “What is the matter with you today?”

I let out a nervous breath, realising that I have to do this now. I turn towards her. “Liz…” I start, but trail off, not knowing where to start.

“Don’t just ‘Liz’ me, okay?” she says irritably, as she reaches behind her to close the door. “Just tell me what’s going on. You’ve been acting weird all afternoon.”

“I’m sorry, okay,” I tell her sincerely, making eye contact. “I just, um… I need to talk to you about something.”

“O-kay…” she says slowly, expectantly. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Can we do this in your room?” I ask, holding out my hand and nodding towards down the corridor towards her bedroom.

“Sure,” she replies softly, slipping her hand in mine. She leads me into her room and we both take a seat on the bed, our hands still entwined.

“Okay,” I start slightly hesitantly. “I have to tell you something… something I probably should have told you a long time ago, but with everything going on, I just couldn’t …”

She frowns, her expression becoming concerned, “Max, what is it?”

“That day in March, when you were taken to hospital…” I begin, lowering my gaze to our clasped hands. “Becca had trouble getting hold of me because I was at Alex’s. Because I stayed the night there–”

Her gasp cuts me off and I look up to find her free hand covering her mouth, as the colour drains from her face.

“Liz –?” I question.

“Oh my God,” she gasps, slowly shaking her head. “Please don’t tell me…” tears begin to fill her eyes as she speaks and my heart sinks. “God… y-you slept with her, didn’t you?”

“What?” I state, shocked, before shaking my head vehemently as I tighten my grip on her hand. “No, no, Liz… I didn’t sleep with her. I could never that to you.”

She closes her eyes and lets out a breath, as if to calm herself; but I can’t bring myself to feel the same way. Whilst I didn’t sleep with Alex, I did kiss her and I suppose that’s almost as bad.

“Okay, so if you didn’t sleep with her, then what happened, Max?”

“Liz,” I start seriously, looking into her eyes. “I want you to know that I love you with all my heart and that I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you.”

“Max,” she mutters tightly, “What. Happened?”

“I kissed her, Liz,” I blurt out in a rush. “While you were losing our baby, I was kissing her,” I add bitterly

She forcefully extracts her hand from mine and sucks in a huge breath as the tears begin to roll down her face.

“No,” she shakes her head and turns away from me. “No… This can’t be happening.”

“I’m sorry, Liz,” I murmur, my own eyes beginning to water. “I was so confused… I loved you so much, but I also found myself attracted to her and I didn’t know why. It was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done and I regret it with all my heart.”

“So… what?” she cries. “You’re telling me that all this time, you and Alex have been…?” she leaves the question hanging, but I know exactly what she’s asking.

“No, Liz, that’s not it at all,” I assert firmly. “As soon as it had happened, I realised it was wrong. I didn’t love Alex; I loved you. I don’t even know what I was thinking when I did it.”

She seems to think about that for a moment, because she then turns her head towards me again.

“And what about her?” she asks, wiping the wetness from her cheeks. “Did she… return your feelings?”

“No,” I say softly. “She told me I was just confused and that I belonged with you. That’s when I realised how stupid I’d been. Of course I belong with you, Liz,” I tell her sincerely, reaching for her hand once again. “You’re my whole world and I don’t think I could live without you.”

She gives a tiny nod, but I can still see the uncertainty in her gaze, “But what about the last couple of months? What about now? She’s supposedly seeing that guy…David… but you two still see each other quite a lot. How can I be sure that nothing is going on between you now?”

“Because I swore that nothing would ever happen again,” I tell her. “And it won’t. It was a dumb, stupid mistake and I should never have done it.”

“So… you just forgot all about it and went back to being friends?” she asks with a sniff. I nod. “Max –”

“Yes, we’re friends,” I cut in. “That’s all.”

“Max, why didn’t you tell me about this before?” she asks her tone a mixture of hurt and accusation.

“I should have,” I admit, looking down at my hands in my lap. “Alex told me I needed to tell you and deep down I knew I should, but I couldn’t bear the thought of burdening you with it when you had so much more to worry about. I told myself that it wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t ever going to happen again, so why bring it up unnecessarily?”

“You should have told me, Max,” she cries. “It’s called honesty.”

“I know that. I should have told you right away, but you had so much to deal with, being in hospital and everything and I just couldn’t. But I’m telling you now. School is finished, you’re feeling better again and we’re about to get married. I couldn’t get married without you knowing… it wouldn’t be right,” I tell her softly.

She nods briefly, closing her eyes as fresh tears leak out. She pulls her hand from mine once more and stands up.

“Liz?” I question, when she walks away from my and turns to look out of the window.

“I have to, um… I need to be alone right now,” she murmurs softly, wrapping her arms around herself. “Please leave, Max.”

“Liz, please…” I protest, my heart breaking at how fragile and young she seems. She turns, looking back at me.

“Just give me some time to digest all this,” she says. “Please?”

I can do nothing but nod and stand to leave the room. When I reach her door, I stop and turn back around, but she’s still staring out of the window, waiting for me to leave. With a sad sigh, I walk away, closing the door behind me.

I struggle to keep my composure as I run down the apartment stairs and out to the jeep. As I drive back towards my parents’ house, I feel the tears begin to prick my eyes and by the time I pull up in the driveway, they are rolling down my cheeks. I realise then that the last place I want to be right now is at home, so I immediately back up and drive away again as the full force of what I’ve done really hits me.

Oh God, please don’t say I’ve just ruined everything between us.

TBC…

[Heavenli24]

Hey guys, thank for your feedback :

dreamsatnight - Don't worry, it will get better .

LairaBehr4 - Thanks .

jbangelo - Thanks . Yeah, things might be tough now, but we know they get through it .

Gaby7tvm (x3) - Thanks .

frenchkiss70 - Like I said to Gaby7tvm a couple of posts ago, Max didn't technically lie in response to Liz's question, since Liz asked if Alex returned his feelings (at the time of the kiss), which although she did respond to the kiss and admit that she'd found him attractive when they met, she didn't actually return the same feelings that Max had for her in March.

maya - Yeah, we know they make it in the end .

clueless - Thanks .

uw51 - As I mentioned above, Max has told her most of the truth. Perhaps he hasn't admitted exactly what his feelings were, but if I were him, I know I'd be embarrassed by and want to forget how I'd felt back then.

trulov - Thanks - that was kind of my view when I wrote it. He confessed to doing something wrong, but I'm sure Liz would rather not know all the sordid little details.

guelbebek - Thanks .

Behrystrwbry - All I'm gonna say is keep reading to see what happens ...

Leigh - When I wrote the scenes where Max was thinking about Alex, the word 'obsessed' didn't even cross my mind. I was just trying to write the thoughts of someone who was finding themselves attracted to another person - the sort of 'unable to take your eyes off them' thing. He'd only been feeling that way for a couple of weeks, so I'm not sure it can really be classed as an obsession.

Perhaps the next few parts will offer some insight into the presence of Alex in the future...


***

Part Twenty-Seven

Liz

Friday May 19th 2006

I wake up this morning feeling pretty much the same as when I went to sleep: like crap. After I told Max to leave last night, I managed to keep my composure for exactly ten seconds before the tears really began to flow. All I could think was: how could he do this to me? How could he kiss another girl when I needed him so badly?

And worst of all, how could he not tell me about it? I so desperately want to believe that it was just a mistake and that he’s really, truly sorry, but I just don’t know what to think. Just twenty-four hours ago, if someone had asked me, I would have told them that I trusted Max with my life; that he was the one person I could really rely on; but right now, I don’t know what to think.

Rolling onto my back, I stare up at the ceiling as I feel the beginning of tears in my eyes. I feel… actually, I don’t know what I feel. It’s like my mind is numb, yet I know that I’m so disappointed in him. Everything that seemed true and real yesterday has just been pulled out from under me and to be honest, I kind of wish that I could go back in time twelve hours and stop Max from saying anything at all. At least that way, I wouldn’t have to deal with these feelings and trying to figure out what I’m going to say to him the next time I see him.

That’s when I realise, as I’m lying in my bed with tears leaking from my eyes and rolling down the side of my face onto the pillow, that there’s something I need to do. I have to get the whole story and I don’t know anymore if I can rely on Max to give me an accurate account. No, I want to hear what really happened from Alex herself. It’s the only way I can determine what’s really going on between them. I happen to know (courtesy of Max – insert eye-roll here) that Alex will be staying in Albuquerque until the end of the summer and so I make the decision to go and see her. Today.

I know where she lives because Max pointed out her apartment to me when we were in Albuquerque a few weeks ago, so I’ll have no trouble finding it. God, just knowing that something happened between them, even if, as Max told me, it was only one time, makes me so paranoid when I think about all the times he’s mentioned her in conversation. What if there’s something going on between them now?

With a sigh, I wipe my eyes and climb out of bed. I walk into my bathroom and prepare to take a shower. I almost can’t bear to look at myself in the mirror as I slip out of my pyjamas. I don’t want to see the misery in my eyes. I shower quickly, pull on some clothes and cover up the dark circles under my eyes with make-up. I greet my parents in the Crashdown downstairs and ask them if I can borrow the car to head out of town for the day to do some shopping for the wedding – I really don’t feel up to admitting the real reason why I’m going; or the fact that after today, there might not even be a wedding to go to.

Luckily, they don’t question my motives and readily agree. Within fifteen minutes, I’m driving out of Roswell and onto the 285 North.

***

After a long, tiring drive, I arrive in Albuquerque by one pm and pull up outside Alex’s apartment twenty minutes later. I didn’t try to call in advance, as I’d much rather see her reaction to my sudden appearance at her door first hand. I put the car in park and suck in a deep breath as I get out and approach the apartment door.

When I get there, I close my eyes briefly and press the doorbell, my foot tapping nervously as I wait for an answer. Sure enough, within a few seconds the door is pulled open and I am face to face with the girl Max cheated on me with. She’s casually dressed in a pair of jeans and tight blue T-shirt, but the surprise in her wide eyes is unmistakable.

“Liz?” she asks, her face scrunched up in confusion.

“Hi, Alex,” I say softly, in a calm tone that betrays my real feelings. “I was hoping we could talk.”

“Talk?” she questions with a frown. However, her expression soon changes to one of understanding as she takes a good look at me. “Oh,” she says in realisation. “He finally told you, didn’t he?”

“Yeah,” is all I can say, as I glance down at the floor briefly before returning my gaze to hers.

“Geez, you look terrible,” she mutters, her brow furrowed in concern. “I told him he should have said something before; but no, he decided it was for the best that he didn’t tell you right away. He didn’t want to cause you any more pain. Come on in, we can talk inside.”

Unsure of what to think about her reaction, I follow her into the apartment, where she offers me a seat on the couch, before sitting in the armchair across from me.

“Am I right in thinking you’re here for my side of the story?” she asks knowingly.

“So it’s true?” I question softly. “You guys were…together?”

“No, Liz,” she says firmly. “We’ve never been together. It was a kiss; just one, and that was all.”

“But he had feelings for you?” I half question, half state.

“He thought he had feelings for me,” she clarifies. “But, Liz, whatever he was feeling, he got over it the second he found out you were in the hospital.”

“Really?” I question softly, almost not wanting to believe her.

“Liz,” she shakes her head, with a soft smile. “You should have seen his face when Becca told him what had happened to you. He was in tears. He may have tried to deny it for my benefit, but I could tell he was horrified at what he’d just done.”

I nod, taking that in.

“But what about you?” I ask then. “Did you kiss him back?”

She looks down at her hands, “At first, I did, although I don’t really know why, but as soon as it was over, I realised that I’d made a mistake in doing so and that it shouldn’t have happened. And Max felt so awful afterwards.”

“So it really didn’t mean anything?” I question carefully.

She shakes her head, “Liz, Max is in love with you, and there’s no question about that; but he just lost his focus for a while. For weeks before Spring Break, I could see that he was distracted and troubled; I realise now that he was feeling things he knew he shouldn’t, and he had no idea what to do about that. He was wrong to kiss me, just as I was wrong to kiss him back, but please don’t hold it against him. He made a mistake and he regrets it with all his heart.”

I nod, feeling a little calmer, albeit still not quite convinced.

“And you guys are still friends?”

“We are,” confirms Alex. “But, Liz, I’ll understand if you are uncomfortable with that. All you have to do is say the word and I’ll stay away, okay? I don’t want to come between the two of you.”

“I, um…” I really don’t know what I want right now.

“Look, Liz, nothing is ever going to happen between us again. You have my word and you have Max’s word. Our relationship is purely platonic and that’s the way it’s going to stay. I value Max’s friendship, but at the same time, I don’t want you to feel like I’m in the way.”

I nod, taking that in, as I wage an internal debate. A small part of me is still a little sceptical about the whole thing, but another part, the bigger part wants to forget all about it and go back to normal. If Max and Alex are just friends, then do I really have the right to put a stop to their friendship, just because of my own insecurities? I know that I wouldn’t want Max to tell me who I’m allowed or not allowed to be friends with, so I can’t very well order him not to see one of his friends anymore.

“Okay,” I say eventually. "Look, I… um… I need to talk things over with Max before I come to a decision about this.”

“Understandable,” she nods. “Like I said, it’s totally up to you, Liz. I don’t want to be responsible for coming between you. I’m willing to step back, if that’s what you want.”

“I’ll think about it,” I tell her. “Thank you, Alex.”

She smiles, “I’m sorry, Liz; for everything and I wish you and Max all the best.”

I nod. “I, um, I guess I’d better be getting back… Max doesn’t actually know where I am. Thank you for talking with me, Alex.”

“Anything to help you guys sort things out,” she says, as we both stand up.

“Any chance you can not tell Max I was here?” I ask, as she walks me to the door. “I’d like to talk with him about it first.”

“No problem,” says Alex. “It was nice to see you, Liz; despite the circumstances.”

“You, too… I guess,” I say with a tentative smile, as I leave.

I drive towards Roswell, feeling a little more positive about things, but still hurt and betrayed over Max’s actions.

***

Surprisingly, when I get home, my parents don’t even question my obvious lack of shopping bags. For a moment, I wonder why, but my question is answered when I open my bedroom door to find Max sitting forlornly on my bed, a photo of the two of us together in his hands. It was taken on our road trip that summer before college, in Arkansas, I seem to remember.

“Liz!” he exclaims, as I close the door behind me, alerting him to my presence. “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to get hold of you all day. Your parents said you went shopping.”

“I didn’t go shopping,” I admit. “I went to see Alex.”

“You did?” he says in surprise.

I nod, moving further into my room. I come to a stop a couple of feet from the foot of the bed. “I needed to hear her side of the story.”

“I’m so sorry, Liz,” he says desperately, scooting to the end of the bed, so he can wrap his fingers around my hand as I just stand there in front of him. “I wish I could take it all back.”

“I know you do, Max,” I say softly, sadly. “But knowing that doesn’t just make this all better. That’s gonna take time.”

“Liz –” he starts, looking up at me with tears shining in his eyes. “I love you so much. I never wanted to hurt you, ever… I swear.”

“Max,” I murmur, glancing down at his fingers wrapped around mine. “Alex explained what happened; that it was all a big mistake,” I tell him softly, my heart aching as his regretful gaze bores into me. “But you’re gonna have to give me some time to get my head around all this.”

“Really?” he questions hopefully.

“I want to be able to forgive you, Max,” I tell him. “I want to marry you and be happy with you for the rest of my life, but at the same time, you cheated on me. I don’t know how easily I can forget that.”

"Lizzie, I–” he starts, but I cut him off.

“Look, I really don’t want to lose you, Max,” I say softly, tears welling in my eyes. “You mean everything to me and I can’t even imagine living my life without you in it, but you’ve betrayed my trust; you’ve made me question the strength of your love for me and your commitment to our relationship. If you want my forgiveness for that, you’re going to have to earn it.”

He nods and stands up, taking both of my hands in his.

“I am going to do everything in my power to show you and prove to you how much I love you, Liz Parker,” he says earnestly, as the tears begin to spill down his face. “I promise. And when I’m done, there’ll be no way you will ever question my feelings for you again.”

Almost unwillingly, I look up into his eyes. He’s gazing down at me with such an expression of remorse and also love that I have to look away again. More than anything, I’d like to be able to put all this behind us for the sake of our lives together, but right now I just can’t seem to get past the part where he kissed another woman.

TBC…