Roswell Fanatics

~~~~~MAX~~~~~
"Max you remember today how those jerk were harassing me. Well that is my life everyday. I have no real friends, I am serious ask anyone that think they may know me and they will say, 'who?' Max. I been this way as long as I can remember. I know have Michael and my family. But if haven't notice. I'm not to fund of my family right now and I don't want bother Michael. He just starting get back to our normal scehdule. But thank you. Don't worry I'm not going back to drugs"

Why doesn't she get it? No matter what she says or does she still has Michael. She still has her parents. She still has her alien friends and human friends.
But me? All I have is shattered memories.

"I'm droping off your sweater tomorrow. You left it here months ago and I haven't gottin around to give it to you."

I blink. My favourite sweater. The one that I would have gone mad if I had of lost it...but knowing Liz had it use to be twice as sweet.
But now she wants to give it back. And if I see it I knowits gonna be one more thing that I look at and cry over.
"You might as well bin it. I don't want it anymore. Besides with all my gym training Im starting to do...may not even fit much longer."

Lame excuse but there you go. "And Liz, I know what you mean....but no matter what you have Michael. You have your friends and family. You have people to talk to. Its a miracle Im not crazy from the lack of social interaction." I type.
And before I can stop myself I add "And me. You have me...whether you want me or not. I wouldn't."

I can't believe I did that. Damnit! Quickly I type. "G2g, bye"
It feels so wierd to log out without sending lots of kisses but....
Quickly I shut off my laptop and sit back on my sofa. Now I feel ten times as bad as I did before.

God why can't I just be angry at her. Instead... Im hurt, Im sad, I pity her, and...and I love her.

Michael

"I'm glad." Maria says, smiling as her thumb caresses the palm of my hand in a comforting manner.

"A lot has changed over the past few days ,but I think it's all been for the better. I've never felt safer or more at home then I do right now." she adds, playing with her hair while she talks. I'm really happy that she feels safe with me. Usually, considering the whole alien thing, I'd figure the opposite, but this just means I'll keep playing 'protector' for her.

"So you're really okay after the whole...shooting thing?" I ask for my own reassurance, my voice dropping to a whisper as I lean much closer to her. It's hard to kick the 'someone is listening' habit.

"I mean, you look okay, but are you...okay okay?"

*Liz*

I sat there in front of the computer as Max log as as fast as he can. What did he mean I got him? I don't have him. We are no longer together and I misses like crazy but really nothing I can do. So deciding to get up I look around my room and notice I have a lot picture of Max and I.

I close my eyes, I can't bear to look at them so grabing all the pictures, crying my eyes I stuff them in evolope and put in a bag. I grab the bag and walk out down the steps. I notice my parents went to sleep so make a good time for me to seek out and not explain what I am going out for especially when I'm holding this bag.

So closing the door behind me, I walk through the alley and into Max's apartment. I walk up the steps and in front of his door, so pulling out piece of paper and pen I start writing.

Dear Max,
Here is your sweater, I couldn't have keep it doesn't belong to me and some picture of us. I couldn't stand looking at them they hurt to much.

Love
Liz


I put the bag down in front of his door. I knock on it and quickly turn away and walk down the steps before he could see me.

~~~~~MAX~~~~~
I sigh as I hear a knock on the door. I get up and open the door to find a bag and a note.

Dear Max,
Here is your sweater, I couldn't have keep it doesn't belong to me and some picture of us. I couldn't stand looking at them they hurt to much.

Love
Liz

She must have only just left.
Before I can stop myself I run down the stairs and see Liz about to headout of the main building doors.
"Liz wait" I call out.
Heading over to her, I have no idea what to say. But I just...can't leave it...her...

"Liz I can't take these. Just looking at them I... I can't take them." I put the bag at her feet. Before she has a chance to say anything I add "And I meant what I said. You have me. Even if were not... I still care about you Liz. I always will"
God what the hell is wrong with me.
"I have to go" I say turning around.

*Liz*

I was about walk out main door when I heard Max voice. "Liz wait" I turn away to look at him."Liz I can't take these. Just looking at them I... I can't take them." he said, well I can't take them either.

"And I meant what I said. You have me. Even if were not... I still care about you Liz. I always will" he said and then had this look on his face. "I have to go" he said turning around.

"I don't want them. I hate look at these picture or the sweater, it hurts to much. Max I know I hurt you but, me knowing that things can never go back hurts even more. So please I don't want to fight take the sweater and pictures before I really start crying." I said.

Give up Liz, he hate you. He said it himself.

Why do those words keep repeating in my head? Why can't leave me alone. I look at Max and turn head out the door. "after all you hate me" I whisper to myself and walk out into the lonely old streets.

~~~~~MAX~~~~~
"I don't want them. I hate look at these picture or the sweater, it hurts to much. Max I know I hurt you but, me knowing that things can never go back hurts even more. So please I don't want to fight take the sweater and pictures before I really start crying."

I flinch as she says hate. I know she hates me. And therefore she hates my stuff.

"Well I've been crying since the moment you left me Liz" I say quietly. "Because I don't know what to do with myself. Every thought in my head, every thing that I do...its all linked to you. And I don't know how to handle that when I keep seeing images of you dumping me twice. Images of you breaking things in my apartment because you hate me. When the truth is I..."

I clamp my mouth hard shut biting my tongue as I do so. It hurts but not as much as knowing that Liz doesn't want to be with me.

I pick up the bag. "Fine. Ill have them. Another thing to look at to constantly remind myself of how I have nothing. How its all my fault"

With that I turn and walk upstairs. I need to get inside before I break down in tears. I go to my apartment door and try to open it...
But the key is inside.
I locked myself out.

I slump to the floor and cover my face with my hands.

*Liz*

I’m outside in the lonely streets. I don’t know where I should go. I don’t want to go home. I look at steps of Max apartment and sat there. I really didn’t mean to hurt him…I didn’t mean any of it. Maybe Max is right, maybe I am so selfish and cold hearted bitch.

I sigh and looked up at the starts. What was real purpose being here? Why did they send us here? Why?

I turn around hearing a loud noise. I shrug it off. It must be something not important.

*Maria*

His voice quivers a bit when he asks,"So you're really okay after the whole...shooting thing?" He leans in closely as if to prevent someone from over hearing. My heart beats wildly as his closeness ,but I honestly try to concentrate on his words. This is obviously important to him."I mean, you look okay, but are you...okay okay?" I flash him a reassuring smile, "I'm better than okay." I beam from ear to ear.

"Michael, you saved me that day at The Crashdown." I state without worrying about freaking him out. "Not just from the near fatal gun shot wound, but from the circumstances I was in. I. I. had been slowly dying for the past few years. My resistance had crumbled into nothing. It's really scary ,but my life got so bad that I secretly hoped that Hank would come home plastered and accidently kill me." Yeah, now he's written me off as a psycho.

"It's not that I wanted to die. It just hurt too much to live. So I didn't. I withdrew from everything I cared about. Staying away from my friends was the hardest. We've always been really close ,but I could never really let them in, because I was afraid for their safety. They didn't understand why I was so cold and It hurt them. I hurt them." I confess with shame lacing my tone. "But you showed me that day that I could be strong. You risked everything on some girl you barely knew, and trusted me with your deepest darkest secret."

Looking up to meet his eyes I'm a little nervous about what he thinks about all this. Does he wanna go a running? "I got a second chance at life ,and I fully plan on using it." With that I lean over and place a soft and gentle kiss upon his lips.

~~~~MAX~~~~
I sob loudly. God what am I meant to do. Why do I still fucking love the girl so much. Its so much easier if Im angry at her. But as much as I am... I need her. I cant live without. And the meer thought of being without her is as if someones removed all the oxygen from the room.

I love her. But it hurts so much. And I don't know if she even knows how much it hurts. How much it feels like she gave me the world, and took it away. And when I tried to restart again...she gave it back, only to take it away.
And now...now its like she has it in her hand. And I keep seeing her everywhere in my mind. And all I can think about is...
Did she ever really love me? Does she love me now?

And ...why arent we together?

I growl in frustration as I head downstairs to see the landlord so he can give me the spare key. I head for the door which is right by the entrance and knock loudly.
"Its Max Evans..." I call out. "Im locked out of number 14..."

No answer.
And then I spot the sign taped by his door.
"Away for a few days. I expect rent on my return"

Great.
Locked out....and my rents due.
Bollocks.

*Liz*

I sat there outside Max's apartment as I get feeling I missing something. I tuch hands in my pocket as the bracelet Max gave me for my birthday. So getting up from the spot I was sitting I go back inside and start to look for it.

I don't look up. I just keep looking down, I go up the steps as I tracks my tracks. I found it and it was right in front of Max's door.

I pick it up and put it back on.