Roswell Fanatics

No actually they were of flowers.Roses,tulips and other things like that.

Oh Lord I got to go drink another beer or do something manly after admitting to that

absolutly! *flamehair gives killjoy a glass of whisky*

OMG...I haven't laughed so much in a long time
killjoy I absolutely loved all the stuff you posted.
I must keep checking this thread from now on,today was my first time here.
I'm going to send some of the stuff you posted to a few of my friends,they'll love it

LMAO!
Thank you killjoy I so needed that.

The Single Woman's Language Guide... How To Translate Menspeak

When He Says - He Really Means
------------ ---------------
Do you have the time?- to go to bed
Hello- Let's cut the talk and go have sex.
How are you?- in bed, I mean.
I'd like a discreet relationship.- I want sex, but I'm married.
I'll be out of town for a few days.- I'll be spending time with with the wife.
I'm a novelist.- I have 10 unpublished books.
I'm coming off a long relationship. - My wife is divorcing me.
I'm consulting. - I'm looking for a job.
I'm divorced. - I just slipped off my wedding ring.
I'm in television.- I fix them.
I'm involved in banking. - I'm a bank guard.
I'm self-employed.- I just got fired.
I'm sorry I flirted with your sister.- I'm sorry I got caught.
I'm thinking of relocating.- I can't find a job locally in this town.
I can't leave my wife just yet..soon.- Be patient forever.
I enjoy reading.- Playboy and Penthouse.
I have the Midas touch.- I install mufflers.
I like a woman who is intelligent.- As long as she acts like I'm smarter.
I love opera. - I want sex, but I've seen an opera once.
I play the market.- Safeway
I work high up in an executive office.- I'm a window washer.
I work with computers.- I'm a cashier at a gas station.
Looking for a satisfying relationship.- I want sex.
My business is really hot right now!- I hand out towels in a steam room.
My job keeps me running.- I'm a messenger.
My wife and I are separated. - She's at home I'm here at the bar.

great

My wife and I are separated. - She's at home I'm here at the bar.
I enjoy reading.- Playboy and Penthouse.
Looking for a satisfying relationship.- I want sex.

Rofl good ones, thanks for sharing

You're not a kid anymore when...


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You're the life of the party, even if it lasts until 8 PM.

You're smiling all the time because you can't hear a thing anyone is saying.

You're very good at telling stories over and over and over and over.

You're aware that other people's grandchildren are not as cute as yours.

You're very good at opening childproof caps (with a hammer).

You're not grouchy; you just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, and politicians.

You're wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just your left leg.

You're having trouble remembering simple words like...

You're a walking storeroom of facts - you've just lost the key to the storeroom door.

You realize that aging is not for wimps.

You enjoy watching the news.

The phone rings and you hope it's not for you.

The only reason you're still awake at 4 am is indigestion.

People ask what color your hair USED to be.

You're proud of your lawn mower.

Your best friend is dating someone half their age AND isn't breaking any laws.

You start singing along with the elevator music.

You really do want a new washing machine for your birthday.

Your car has four doors or has one that opens by sliding it.

You routinely check the oil in your car.

You've owned clothes so long that they've gone back into style - TWICE.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

8 AM is your idea of "sleeping in".

You don't remember when you got that mole or the one next to it.

You write thank you notes without being told.

Neighbors borrow your tools.

You answer a question with, "Because I said so!"

Others ask for your recipes.

You start Christmas shopping in August.

You paint your apartment walls for a reason other than getting your deposit back.

You don't like to drive after dark.

You say the words, "Turn that music down!"

You wear black socks with sandals.

You can live without sex but not without your glasses.

You point out what buildings used to be where.

You know all the warning signs of a heart attack.

You rake the yard without being told to.

You can't remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch television.

Describes me perfectly

killjoy wrote:You're not a kid anymore when...

You're very good at opening childproof caps (with a hammer).

You're not grouchy; you just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, and politicians.

You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.