keepsmiling-7 Your fingernails should get a break today.
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Eva- We're glad you enjoyed the stories in the pub.
We didn't want to leave it there as well, but Kyle's moments in the Pub were and are at the heart of this next part. We hope you will enjoy.
Author’s Note: A couple of lines at the end are borrowed from the poem “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening” by Robert Frost.
Part 12
Seconds stretched out into a minute, and then one minute turned into two as they stared at each other from opposite sides of the street. The silence was filled with unasked questions and punctuated by the measured ring of the Temple Bell in the distance. The snow was still falling, the white blanket so pure and untouched lending an air of seclusion, as if they were the only two people in the world, in spite of their surroundings.
She watched him, the distance between them too far to decipher the expression on his face, and she held her breath when he finally began to move. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he crossed the street and a moment later one of them came back out and she heard the telltale jingle of a key ring. Her heart stuttered in her chest when he veered off just before reaching her and her eyes followed him as he unlocked the driver’s side door on a snow-covered pickup truck.
His dad’s truck, she realized. Of course. Neither of them owned a car. They relied on public transportation most of the time, or occasionally caught a ride with family or friends if the situation called for it. She didn’t offer to help when the door stubbornly refused to open and he didn’t ask; he just jerked on it until it finally gave in to brute force and opened with a groan of protest.
Kyle leaned in and started the engine before pulling the back of the bench seat forward and snatching up the ice scraper. Why was she here? Did it mean anything? He snorted and shook his head. Of course it meant something. They were
friends. And one of their meddling, well-meaning friends had probably let it slip that he was hanging out at the pub, drowning his sorrows and wallowing in self-pity. So, as any good
friend would do, she’d probably come to make sure he didn’t get behind the wheel after drinking too much.
Friend. He’d never hated any single word more than he did that one at this moment.
He forced his posture to straighten as he backed out and slammed the door shut, leaning over the hood as he started the process of clearing the windshield off. Just focus, Valenti, one stroke at a time. If he could just get through this, find out why she was there and what she wanted, and then just drive away with his head held high, he could survive losing her. He focused on the scratchy sound the scraper made on the windshield, the vibrations as it dragged over the thin sheet of ice beneath the snow helping to ground him.
Isabel waited him out, knowing once he was finished removing the thick blanket of snow covering the windshield that he’d have to wait for the defroster to do its job and make the ice easier to remove. She’d seen him run through the process enough times to know how he approached it. She wondered if he intended to ignore her and then drive away, just leave her standing there, but she immediately discarded that thought.
When the last of the snow had been cleared he knocked the scraper against the front tire to dislodge the worst of the snow and then opened the door to toss it back behind the seat. Part of him wanted to just climb into the truck and sit behind the wheel, wait for the defroster to do its job so he could drive away. But he wasn’t a runner. He wasn’t going to just run off and leave her standing there no matter how much he wanted to. If nothing else, he would hear her out and probably even make sure she got home safely. He sighed. Sometimes he really wished he was the kind of guy who could just walk away without looking back or considering his actions. But he wasn’t. And whatever they were now, whatever they
weren’t, he wouldn’t just let her stand there without acknowledging her existence.
Finally, he backed away and shut the door, barely registering the cold where his hand rested against the frame. Forcing his feet to move he rounded the front of the truck and stepped up on the curb, coming face to face with her. As much as he wanted to shove his hands in his pockets or cross his arms over his chest, he controlled the urge to do either. They were mannerisms that revealed discomfort with a situation and gave the other person the upper hand. He shoved Michael’s voice out of his head and let his hands hang loose at his sides.
“Isabel.”
“Ky-“ She nearly choked before she could get his name out. She cleared her throat and tried again, succeeding with the next attempt.
He nodded and thumped his fisted hand against the hood of the truck, mindless of the snow that showered down over his boots. Under normal circumstances he would’ve made a joke about the snow, playfully placing the blame for the fresh snowfall on her. She wouldn’t have accepted or denied responsibility, just given him a smile that would’ve made him wonder. But the situation was far from normal and he couldn’t find it in himself to dredge up the energy to make a joke. Not here and not now.
She had to stop herself when she opened her mouth to remind him he wasn’t wearing gloves. She had a feeling he wouldn’t appreciate the reminder, no matter how well-intentioned it was. He was staring at her, waiting for her to say something, and she knew if she didn’t speak up soon she was going to miss her opportunity… and she might not get another one.
She took a couple of cautious steps, closing the distance between them. Her mind was furiously turning over what she wanted, needed to say to him. In an effort to calm her nerves her hands lifted to toy with the decorative silver button at the top of her coat. She saw his eyes narrow fractionally as they locked on her hands and she knew he hadn’t missed the revealing tremor that caused them to shake slightly. As much as she wanted to shove them in her pockets and hide the sign of weakness she stood her ground and let him see how this was affecting her.
“You said I was scared.” She cleared her throat again and shook her head. “I was afraid, Kyle. I was terrified, to be honest. I’ve had some time to think, a lot of time.”
He shrugged one shoulder. “Time’s good for that I guess.”
She sighed when he didn’t give an inch but forced herself to nod and go on. “Y’know, I’ve never put a lot of stock in New Year’s resolutions. Most of the time people just set themselves up to fail by putting unrealistic expectations ahead of themselves.”
Kyle ran a hand over his face. Were they really standing in below zero temperatures with the snow blowing around them discussing resolutions?
She was losing him, she could see it. “Well, this year I decided maybe it was time I made a couple of resolutions.”
“Yeah, well, I’m glad you’ve decided to try somethin’ new, Isabel, but maybe you should go share it with someone else.”
“I can’t share it with anyone else, Kyle.”
“I can’t be your go-to guy anymore, don’t you understand that?” Buddha forgive him, he was on the verge of losing his temper.
“I can’t share it with anyone else because admitting my mistakes and asking your forgiveness doesn’t work unless it comes from me to you.”
His right hand fisted in the snow on top of the truck while the other lifted to stop her. “Isabel, just… don’t.” He heard the catch in her breath but he steeled himself against it. He had to be strong if he had any chance of surviving this.
“Kyle, please listen to me,” she begged, desperate to make him hear her. “I freaked out that morning and nothing I ever say will make up for that. I wish I could go back and change that because I never wanted to hurt you.” She took another step, blinking against the fine mist of snow that brushed against her skin when the wind caught the top layer of snow on the truck and sent it in her direction.
“Wishing only gets us so far in life.” He pushed away from the truck and reached for the door.
Her hand shot out to rest against the window, using just enough of her powers to prevent him from opening the door. “It scared me, Kyle. You were right and I’m not hiding from it now.” She swallowed hard, staring at him and willing him to meet her gaze. “I saw you when we made love. Me and you out in the desert, under a blanket of stars, and I knew in that moment that I had let Alex go.” She drew in a shaky breath. “That’s the truth, Kyle.”
“You think I don’t know what it is you’re afraid of?” He’d felt the fear thrumming through her; felt it so intensely it was like it was his own emotions running riot. Fear could be paralyzing and she wasn’t impervious to it. He shook his head. “You’re not the only one who’s afraid. You’re not the only one who has to deal with insecurities on occasion. And you’re sure as hell not the only one who could screw things up here.”
He watched her as she digested what he was saying. It was all true. Maybe he didn’t advertise his insecurities, but they reared their ugly heads from time to time. Hell, he’d survived his mom walking out for whatever reason. He’d sucked it up and gotten over it when Liz dropped him for Max. He’d even managed to survive the nightmare left in the wake of Tess’ departure. One way or another though, every woman in his life that had really meant anything to him had walked away. Maybe it shouldn’t have come as a shock, but having her turn tail and run the other morning had hurt worse than he’d ever anticipated.
There was a connection between them, something that had sparked to life after Alex died and they’d started spending time together. He knew the fact that he’d been changed by Max healing him was partly responsible, but it was more than just an otherworldly connection. It was deeper than that. It was something that existed because they trusted each other enough to allow it to not only exist, but to flourish.
Over time she’d realized she could tap into her powers so much easier when they were around each other and he’d known that it scared her. He remembered the day he’d finally called her on it. They had been in the middle of a disagreement over something so stupid, so asinine, that he didn’t even remember what it had been about. It hadn’t been anything overt, but she’d accessed her powers without even thinking about it and he’d seen the look of fear cross her beautiful features… the fear that she could be like Tess.
“You could never be her, Isabel.”
She’d started to pace, something she tended to do when she felt trapped. “You can’t be sure of that.”
“I’m probably better qualified to be sure of that than anyone else on this planet.”
She’d snapped at him then. “Is that so?”
“She had her chance and she blew it off. She could’ve had me, could’ve maybe had some semblance of a normal life with someone who cared about her, but she threw it away to chase an obsession.” Max Evans again, he’d thought with an internal eye roll. If anyone had ever suggested he’d be friends with the guy in the future he’d have put a hurt on them.
She hadn’t wanted to hear what he was saying and he hadn’t pushed it. Grandpa always said you could lead a horse to water but you couldn’t make it drink. Not that she’d have appreciated the comparison.
He was drawn out of his thoughts when Isabel spoke, breaking the silence. “What?”
“I said: A while back you tried to tell me why I could never be like Tess but I didn’t let you finish. What were you gonna say?” She paused, searching his features that had yet to relax. “You said she’d chosen her obsession with Max over you, over what you could’ve had together.”
“Yeah, that’s what I said. What you didn’t want to hear at the time was that, hybrid status aside you couldn’t have been more different.” He shifted his weight, his right knee bending just enough to allow his posture to relax slightly and he reached out to cradle her cheek. “You could never be like Tess because you reached for something real. You made a conscious decision to choose someone who grounded you, someone who complemented you on many levels. You, Isabel Evans, you chose Alex.”
Her breath caught in her throat and she forced the lump down when every bit of pain her rejection had caused him flared to life in the depths of his eyes. Pain, fear, betrayal… and underneath it all, burning brightly was something else that was hers if she just had the courage to reach for it. Love.
“You’re wrong, Kyle.”
He smiled tightly and shook his head. “I don’t think I am.” She’d made her decision that morning just as she had several years ago. The only difference this time was that she had chosen to hold onto the dream. He dropped his hand and took a step back as fireworks exploded overhead, illuminating the city street while music from the pub spilled out through the closed doors as
Auld Lang Syne rang out into the night.
“I chose to let Alex go.” She regained ground by stepping into his space and reaching out to him, her cold fingers resting against his equally cold cheek. “And I’m here tonight because I choose you.”
*****
Standing beneath the neon lights of the bar sign, impervious to the cold wind and the snow blowing around, Alex observed the couple. He watched Kyle reach for Isabel, pull her into his arms, and try as he might he couldn’t look away as they moved towards each other. For a moment their foreheads rested against each other and because of his current state he was able to hear their hushed words above the noise of the singing from the pub and the fireworks exploding above them.
“Where do we go from here?” Kyle’s question was quiet, filled with intent.
Isabel didn’t look away from him as she answered in a voice just as quiet. “Forward… together.”
Their kiss was passionate, filled with promise and heat, but the temperatures eventually forced them apart and he smiled as Kyle pulled her back with him. He opened the door and waited while she slid across the seat before following her inside and slamming the door. The ice on the windshield, giving in to the heat from the defroster, began to slip and slide down the glass, distorting the images of the couple in the cab.
Kyle would take care of her. He knew that without a shadow of a doubt. He’d been in love with her for a long time and he’d waited for her. He chuckled quietly even though no one could hear him. It had been a close call. If Isabel hadn’t found that well of courage he knew she had inside and come to Kyle tonight things would’ve gone a very different way.
He also knew that Isabel would take care of him. No, it wouldn’t be some fairy tale romance. They were going to have their ups and downs, even the best relationships had them, but they wouldn’t just throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble. They were both fighters and when it came to something worth fighting for they gave it everything they had. Tonight was one of the toughest hurdles they would face and they’d survived it.
His job here was finished. Perhaps one day one of them would need him and he’d journey back to this plane briefly, but she was and always had been his reason for staying close. Kyle would officially take his place. In reality, he’d taken his place a long time ago, but she had to reach a place where she could accept that. Tonight she had taken that step. She’d found the strength to let go of the past and reach for the future. It was what he wanted for her. He’d never wanted her to stop living because of him.
He’d told her once that he’d stay as long as she needed him. The other night when everything had changed between her and Kyle he’d known she didn’t need to hold onto him any longer. He’d known they were going to hit rough waters the next morning; they’d jumped the gun and acted on the maelstrom of emotions and feelings that had been building for so long. Maybe with the two of them that’s the way it had to happen though.
He’d waited on pins and needles, wishing he knew the outcome, but everything had hinged on what happened tonight. He sighed and looked up at the sky, staring at the stars above as the final strains of
Auld Lang Syne drifted out into the night. He couldn’t deny the pang of loneliness that resounded in his soul and he wished fervently that it would pass.
“It’ll pass, lad.”
He turned his head to look at the man standing beside him; tall and thin, probably not much older than him, with short-cropped red hair and wearing jungle camo fatigues. His eyes dropped to the name patch on his chest. “Lt. O’Laughlin.” He nodded at the pub behind them. “You’re here for one of them?”
“Aye, ma best friend. Comes ‘ere this night every year to pay respects to the fallen and…” his eyes glistened as he turned to look in through the window. “And I come every year to tell him it wasnae his fault that I passed.” For that minute that Cameron stood there, his body ramrod straight as he saluted, Sean revealed himself to the man he’d called friend above all others. No one else was able to see him and Cameron never let on that his friend appeared to him.
Alex followed his gaze to the man sitting at the end of the bar. “He’s not ready yet.”
Sean shook his head sadly. “Absolution isnae something we can give, lad, not when the fault disnae lie with them.” He sighed loudly. “Tis time for me to go.”
He nodded and watched as the other man faded from sight. He supposed in that respect he was one of the lucky ones. His loved ones had finally accepted that his death was through no fault of their own. At least he didn’t have to carry that weight throughout eternity. His gaze shifted back to the truck as the brake lights flashed before it began to pull away from the curb. He’d love her forever, he had no doubt about that, but for her to be free he had to let her go.
He stood there until the taillights disappeared into the darkness and he drew in a deep breath, wishing he could feel the cold wind, the snowflakes brushing against his skin, anything at all really. The bells in the distance fell silent as did the world around him and he knew it was time to go. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, smiling when the cold filled his lungs and the snowflakes dotted his skin, their touch gentle and cold. “Thank you,” he whispered, his gaze lingering on the brightest star in the sky.
One day he’d see them again and for now that was enough. They were happy, they were safe, and they were loved. What more could he want for the people he cared about? As he began to fade he looked around once more, his eyes locking on the last place he’d seen Isabel and Kyle. Yes, his work here was done. They were going to be fine and he was going to be a pleasant memory, as he should be. That pang of loneliness eased a bit and he smiled as he looked up at the stars.
“I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep.” He’d finally kept the last of his promises and he’d traveled the last leg of his journey here on Earth. He didn’t know where his journey would take him now, but just as Isabel was beginning hers, so was he. He was ready and it was time to go.
No kidding, but I agree with Carolyn! We're staying stuck with the same cliffhanger although I enjoyed the stories in the pub.