Roswell Fanatics

Hey everyone. It was so great to hear from all of you and your comments were so welcome. It's so nice to know that you eased right back into the story.

Jason's Lover (Crystal)
Mareli
frenchkiss70
Mezz
Cocopucks
Scottie
r0swell_dreamer
Alien614
Realistic Dreamer (Sandy)
begonia9508(Eve)
Behrsgirl77 (Tanya)
roswellluver
LTL
IAmLongTimeFan (Liz)


Thanks once again to IAmLongTimeFan (Liz)for reading first.

I look forward to hearing from all of you.


Everything to You Part 78


Max sat at his usual booth in the CrashDown trying not to fidget. Jeff Parker had called and asked him to come down so they could talk, but when he got there, he ended up waiting because Mr. Parker had to deal with a problem in the kitchen.

Although he was curious why Mr. Parker wanted to speak to him, Max was not as nervous about it as he might have been just a few months ago. Since Liz left for school, he and Jeff Parker had become friends. Well, not friends exactly, but they had sort of gravitated together, bonding over their mutual feelings of missing Liz and Max wasn’t nearly so intimidated as he once was.

Whenever he came to the CrashDown to eat, Mr. Parker would take the time to sit with him and they would talk about Liz or school or whatever little things came up. It was nice to know that whatever animosity that had been between them was over. Still, Max was a little apprehensive about why Liz’s father wanted to speak to him, if only because he’d sounded so serious on the phone.

Max looked up as the kitchen door opened and Jeff Parker and his night manager, Randy came through it.

“It should be okay until I get back. Just call the guy tomorrow and see when he can come.” Randy nodded at Jeff’s words and Jeff turned around, grimacing apologetically at Max as he came to the table and sat down.

“Sorry about that. There’s a problem with one of the fryers. I needed to take care of it before I leave tomorrow.”

“It’s okay,” Max said.

“So, I guess you’re wondering why I called,” Jeff said, noting Max’s somewhat wary affirmation. He sighed and hesitated, finally rubbing a hand over his forehead. “This is really hard to talk about.”

Nervous frissons of disquiet tightened Max’s stomach as he waited for Mr. Parker to elaborate on that somewhat alarming statement. For a moment he thought something might be wrong with Liz but he immediately discarded the thought. He’d spoken with her just yesterday and she was fine. Besides, he would know if something was wrong. Their connection would tell him.

Mr. Parker sighed again and finally looked back up at Max. “Nancy and I are getting a divorce.”

Eyes widening a little, Max looked down at his hands, unable to meet Mr. Parker’s unhappy gaze. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“It’s been coming for a while,” Mr. Parker said tiredly, “but you probably knew that.”

Max nodded. Spending time with Jeff Parker the last couple of months, he knew that there were bigger problems in the Parker’s marriage than even Liz knew about. Mrs. Parker had gone back to Florida immediately after dropping Liz off at school and the few times that Max had been around when she called, he could tell from Mr. Parker’s end of the conversation that it hadn’t been pleasant.

“Nancy and I are going to tell Liz this weekend while we’re up in Chicago with her. We felt like it was best if we did it together.”

“Oh,” Max said, a crease appearing between his brows. His heart twisted a little at the thought of how Liz was going to react. He knew she was looking forward to this visit and it was going to be a blow to find out the real reason for it. He wished fervently that he could be there with her.

“It’s going to be hard on her and I wanted you to be prepared.”

“Thank you,” Max said, feeling that the words sounded inadequate.

Jeff smoothed his hands over his face again before settling his gaze on Max, and the younger man was surprised to see the sudden bitterness in it. “I’m going to tell you something in confidence now, and I’d appreciate it if you don’t tell anyone else.” At Max’s hesitant nod, Jeff continued. “Nancy has been seeing someone in Florida.”

A surprised frown appeared on Max’s face and Jeff Parker felt an unexpected lump in his throat. He thought he’d come to terms with his wife’s infidelity, but admitting it to someone else was turning out to be unexpectedly difficult.

“The reason I’m telling you this is because I’m not sure how much Nancy is going to tell Liz about what’s been happening, but I think she’s going to tell her the truth and….” Jeff paused, breathing against the tightness in his chest. “I just wanted you to be ready….in case Liz needs you.”

Max didn’t know what to say to this. As uncomfortable as he was with Jeff Parker’s unexpected confession, he was glad that he’d told him. Liz was going to be devastated.

“I almost asked you to come with us this weekend, but I think…I think that Nancy and I need to do this ourselves. We owe Liz that much and….”

“I understand,” Max answered and he did. It was a family issue and he wasn’t really a part of their family. Not like Liz was a part of his.

“I never thought it would come to this,” Jeff said, his voice thick and muffled by the hands he suddenly brought up to cover his eyes, then he sighed again and pulled himself together, standing up. “You’re a good guy, Max.” He rapped his knuckles on the table in farewell and headed back to the kitchen.

Max pushed away the plate in front of him, unable to finish his meal after the depressing conversation. Liz’s father was understandably upset and Max felt sorry for him, but it was Liz he was most concerned about. He knew that she and her mother didn't have the best relationship and this news was not going to improve it. He took a deep breath, unaware of the deep frown on his face as he remembered Liz’s earlier enthusiasm when she'd told him about all the places she was going to take her parents this weekend. She was going to be so hurt. He hated that he was left with only comforting her from afar. Max closed his eyes, resolving to do the best that he could. She had been there for him more times then he could count and it was his turn to be there for her.

Max’s eyes jerked open as he heard someone slide into his booth, relaxing as he saw that it was Michael, noting the tense way his friend ran his hands through his long hair.

“Maria’s not here, is she?” Michael asked, trying to look around nonchalantly but failing.

“Hi to you too. No she’s not,” Max answered.

“Good,” Michael said. He began picking at the fries on Max’s plate, his movements quick and jerky as he stuffed them into his mouth.

In spite of the lingering apprehension caused by Jeff Parker’s confession, Max had to fight the smile threatening as he watched Michael. Liz had told him of Maria’s plan to make Michael pay for the way he’d blown off his near proposal at her mother’s house and it was entertaining to see him slowly coming unglued.

Michael had confessed to Max the next day that at first he’d been relieved when Maria didn’t say anything about it, but now as time had gone by and she continued to pretend that it never happened, he was becoming more and more agitated. What the hell was her game? Was she doing it on purpose or was she really unconcerned? Did that mean that she didn’t want to get married? Her lack of reaction was driving him crazy. Sometimes, he almost expected her to start chanting, she was so serene.

“Please, help yourself,” Max said sardonically as Michael picked up what was left of Max’s drink and gulped it down.

“Did Liz talk to her? Did she say anything?” Michael asked finally, leaning back against the back of the booth, trying to appear casual when he was actually anxious as hell.

“I told you, Maria hasn’t said anything to her,” Max answered. That wasn’t strictly true, but Max wasn’t going to get in the middle of this game Michael and Maria insisted on playing.

“Shit,” Michael said, giving into his anxiety by running his hands over his hair again. He rested his head against his clasped hands.

“Why don’t you do what you said you were going to do and ask her to marry you? What are you waiting for? Her mother knows the truth now. Wasn’t that the only thing standing in your way?”

Michael didn’t answer, staring fixedly at the ceiling. It was true, telling Maria’s mother had been the major hurtle to be breached and that that was no longer a factor. In fact, Amy Deluca was proving to be much more accepting than he had anticipated. Michael grimaced as he thought of the last weekend when she’d had him over and proceeded to have him repair all of the little problems in her house with his powers. Maria had stood by watching proudly so he couldn’t exactly say no. He’d ended up promising to come back and help her pick paint colors by changing the walls for her this weekend. It was a little humiliating to realize that he’d been reduced to a maintenance man when his powers were supposed to be used for defense.

“Well?” Max asked after this moment of silence.

“I……I don’t know, okay?” Michael finally said forcefully, frowning when Max raised his eyebrows then shrugged.

“Let me know when you figure it out. I have to go to work,” Max said. He dropped some bills on the table for a tip and got up to pay the check. Michael followed, somewhat despondently, and a moment later they parted as Max headed for work and Michael headed for his apartment.

**************************
“This is really good, honey,” Jeff Parker said to his daughter after he tasted his first forkful of the Chicken Picatta on his plate.

Liz smiled at her father then turned back to her own plate of pasta. They were seated at an Italian restaurant in downtown Chicago, enjoying a leisurely dinner after a day of sightseeing.

“How’s yours, Mom?” Liz asked, more to get her mother involved in the conversation than anything else.

“Fine,” Nancy Parker answered, a small smile of politeness rather than sincerity creasing her mouth and Liz tried not to let the hurt show as she nodded and looked back down at her plate.

It had been like this all weekend. While her father showered her with affection and commented enthusiastically on all the sights and events during their stay, her mother was a polite stranger and Liz was rapidly losing heart. She didn’t understand her mother and she didn’t understand why it had to be so difficult between the two of them.

After their meal, the three of them rode back to her parent’s hotel. As they rode, Liz and her father chatted about the places they’d been that day and how the restaurant was doing. Her father enthused about how Randy was handling things and even brought up Max.

“I think he’s single handedly keeping the place in business. Doesn’t he ever get tired of greasy, fried food?”

“Are you disparaging your own cooking?” Liz asked, laughing.

“Of course not, but even I like vegetables and healthy food once in a while. The kid’s going to die of a heart attack before he’s thirty if he keeps this up.”

“Don’t worry, Dad. Max has a pretty sturdy constitution.” Liz smiled as she looked out the window. She couldn’t exactly tell her father that Max couldn’t get sick. She glanced at her mother who was staring out the other window, a sad, remote look on her face and her smile faded.

They pulled up to the hotel a few moments later. “Let’s go up to the room,” Mr. Parker said, ignoring the look that Nancy Parker gave him. He knew she knew he meant his room. They were obviously not sharing a room, but Liz didn’t know that, at least not yet.

After unlocking the door and letting his wife and daughter precede him inside, Mr. Parker took off his jacket to hang in the closet. He took a deep breath, his heart heavy at what they were about to do and turned around to address Liz only to find her standing in the middle of the room, staring at his suitcase….the only suitcase in the room. She looked up at him, then at her mother, her dark eyes shadowed and apprehensive.

“Tell me what’s going on,” she said in a low voice.

Jeff crossed the room and took her hand to lead her to the bed. He pulled her down and kept hold of her hand, glancing at his wife before turning back and looking her in the eye.

“Your mother and I want you to know how very much we love you,” He began, but his words, meant to be soothing, only increased Liz’s apprehension.

“And we want you to realize that our decision has nothing whatsoever to do with you.”

“What decision?” Liz asked, looking from her father to her mother and back again. She pulled her hands away and got up from the bed, wrapping her arms around her as if to ward off whatever bad thing they were about to say. “Just tell me,” she said when neither one of her parents answered her.

“Jeff, let me talk to her alone,” Nancy Parker got up from her chair. “Please?” Jeff hesitated then reluctantly grabbed his just discarded jacket, leaving the two women by themselves.

“Why is he leaving? What’s going on?” Liz asked, her voice cracking slightly in fear, knowing deep down what her mother was about to say to her.

“Sit down, Liz.” Nancy Parker took her daughter gently by the arm and brought her back to the bed where she and her father had been sitting a moment ago. She smoothed the dark hair back from Liz’s face, staring at her with a mixture of too many emotions to name, among them, love, sorrow….and regret.

Her mother’s sudden transformation into this caring person she rarely showed didn’t do anything to relieve Liz’s heart. She felt tears already forming even though her mother hadn’t uttered a word.

“Your Dad and I ….are getting a divorce.”

The tears now hung on her lashes as Liz felt the words like a blow. Her lower lip trembled and she could only stare at her mother for a moment before finally asking, “Why?”, her voice husky and thick.

“That is a complicated question. There isn’t any one reason.”

“But why?” Liz said again, dashing the tears away with the back of her hand. “Aren’t you….I mean…..you love Dad… don’t you?”

Nancy looked away and sighed. “Your father and I are two different people, Liz. We always have been. Your father’s dreams…..his goals….aren’t mine. They used to be….a long time ago, but things changed and I….deluded myself for a long time that it didn’t matter, but lately…..I’ve found out differently.”

“What do you mean lately?”

“I mean…..since I’ve been away.”

Liz swallowed to ease the tightness in her throat. “But….you and Dad….the restaurant….”

“That was his idea, not mine. When we were dating, your Dad had other dreams, other aspirations. Did you know he wanted to be a singer?” Nancy stared at her daughter’s lovely face, her hand still tucking her hair back.

At Liz’s negative response, Nancy smiled a little sadly. “Those poems I told you about that he used to write….he would turn them into song lyrics. We were going to move to California and live on the beach and your Dad was going to form a band. We had it all planned.”

“So what happened?”

“I got pregnant.”

Liz paled at the words, but Nancy wasn’t looking at her.

“And we needed money. We couldn’t go off to California without a penny to our names with a baby coming. So your Dad got a job at Grandpa’s restaurant just long enough so we could save some money and then we were leaving.” She sighed and sat down in one of the chairs at the small table in the corner of the room. “But it didn’t work out that way. Your Dad liked working at the restaurant and when we saved enough money, instead of leaving, he opened his own. The CrashDown became his life.”

Liz felt sick to her stomach and literally thought she might gag. “So…..so you gave up your dreams….because of me.” She got up from the bed and turned away from her mother to stare out of the balcony window, before turning back, her large eyes shadowed with hurt in her pale face. “Did you….did you even want me?”

“Oh honey, that isn’t it at all.” Nancy got up from the bed and approached her daughter, gently taking her by the arms. “Your Dad was completely honest. This has nothing to do with you. I always wanted you. And I was content while you were growing up. Not happy maybe….but…..”

“So what changed?” Liz asked, stepping back from her mother’s grip.

Nancy stared at her for a long moment before turning away, and Liz felt her stomach tighten even more at the hesitation in her mother’s demeanor.

“When I went to Florida to take care of your Aunt Beth…..I……met someone.”

“Oh…” The word was barely a sound, but it was forced from Liz’s throat as the she felt the force of her mother’s words hit her. Nancy turned back to see her daughter staring at her as though she’d never seen her before, and Nancy felt her own tears finally forming as she saw the devastation on her daughter’s face.

“I didn’t plan it and I…..tried to …….” Nancy stopped and looked away. “It just happened. I know nothing I can say can make it better, but….I didn’t set out to hurt you or your father.”

Liz turned her back on her mother and Nancy put her hands over her face for a moment, trying to pull herself together.

“I know I haven’t been the mother you’ve wanted or needed, Liz. But it wasn’t because I didn’t love you. You were the main reason I stayed as long as I did. Please honey…..I know this is….hard…but……..

“Leave.”

“Liz……”

“Please…..go…..” Her voice was a hoarse whisper and Nancy could only stare for a moment at her daughter’s taut back before wiping at her own tears.

“I hope…..I hope you’ll be able to forgive me….one day. I love you….”

Standing rigidly, Liz listened to her mother’s footsteps as she crossed the room, the door closing quietly behind her. Liz walked woodenly to the window by the balcony, staring at nothing as tears coursed down her cheeks.

Something flickered on the edges of her consciousness and realizing immediately what it was, Liz closed her eyes, letting Max’s comforting presence in. Somehow, even from the distance, he’d felt her pain. Renewed tears burned her eyes as her soulmate reached across space to comfort her. His love surrounded her wounded heart and Liz felt some of the weight that was crushing her chest, lessen.

The door of the room opened and Liz turned around. Her father’s face reflected her own hurt feelings and with a small sob, Liz went forward into his arms.

“I’m sorry, Daddy.” Liz whispered it against his coat as her father held her tightly.

“Me too, honey.” He held her for a moment longer, then Jeff let her go and brought her to the bed with him.

“Listen to me. I don’t want you to be angry at your mother.”

Liz stared at him. “How can you say that? She…..”

“I know what she’s done, but it takes two to make or break up a marriage and I’ve made my share of mistakes. I never realized how unhappy she was until it was too late.”

Moments in time flashed through Liz’s head as she remembered late nights when her father worked until the wee hours….seeing her mother’s unhappy face as their vacation to the mountains was canceled because of an unexpected catering order that couldn’t be passed up…..hearing her father telling her mother that he was missing another Christmas party because he couldn’t be away from work.

“Just don’t judge her too harshly, okay?” When Liz didn’t answer, Jeff sighed and put his arm around her to hug her close again. “I’m going to go talk to her. Will you be alright for a minute?”

Liz sniffed and nodded.

“I love you.” Jeff got up from the bed and headed out of the room and Liz wiped at her tears, pulling her cell phone from her purse and hitting the speed dial.

It was picked up almost before it rang.

“Liz……”

Max’s voice on the other end of the line brought fresh tears to her eyes, and Liz couldn’t speak for a moment.

From his end, Max heard the hitch in her breath and he sat back down on his bed from where he’d jumped up when the phone rang. Liz’s sorrow was like a beacon to him and he’d been unable to keep from reaching out to her in comfort. Now he concentrated on keeping the connection alive, letting his loving presence flow through.

“My parents are getting a divorce.” Liz’s husky voice finally came over the line and the sadness in it was like an arrow in Max’s heart.

“I know. Your Dad told me before he left.”

“He did?” Liz asked in surprise.

“He wanted me to know so I could be ready when you needed me. I’m really sorry.”

There was silence over the line for a moment and Max could feel Liz trying to get a grip on herself.

“I always knew she was unhappy. I just never understood why.”

Max kept silent knowing that no words could make her feel better. She hesitated another moment.

“I’m not sure she ever really wanted me.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Max said immediately, hearing the anguish in her voice.

“That’s what she said but….” Liz swallowed her tears and explained the things her mother had told her.

“Maybe things didn’t turn out the way they planned,” Max said when Liz was finished, “but I’m sure she meant what she said, Liz. Just because she was unhappy with your father doesn’t mean she was unhappy with you.”

“I know. It’s just…….”she stopped on a small sob and Max tightened his grip on the phone wanting so much to be there to hold her. He closed his eyes and concentrated.

Liz felt their connection strengthen and her tears subsided a little at the feel of Max’s arms closing around her. She stayed quiet, letting herself be comforted, happy that she didn’t have to be strong on her own. A few moments later, she sighed and opened her eyes, knowing her father was going to be back any moment.

“Dad’s gone to talk to her, but he’ll be back in a minute.” Liz sniffed and tried without success to stop the incessant flow of tears. “I really wish you were here,” she whispered.

“Me too,” Max answered, never meaning more than he did right at that moment.

“I’ll call you tomorrow when he’s gone.”

“Okay. You can reach for me whenever you want to. I’ll be here all night.”

“I know,” Liz said, comforted beyond measure at his words. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

Liz clicked off the phone and went to the bathroom to find a tissue. She was just coming back into the bedroom when her father reappeared, looking tired and sad.

“Your mother’s catching the next plane out tonight.”

Liz didn’t answer, dabbing at her wet eyes as she sat on the bed.

“I can try to stay past tomorrow if you want me too.” Jeff sat down opposite her.

“No, it’s okay. I know you have to get back.”

“Nothing is more important to me than you are, honey, so if you need me to stay, I will.”

“No, really. I’ll be alright. And we have until tomorrow afternoon.”

“Okay,” Jeff said, relaxing back in the chair. “So…did you talk to Max?”

“Yes. He told me that you told him before you left.” Liz gave her father with a small, wan smile. “Thank you.”

“He’s a good kid, and I’m sorry I gave you such a hard time about him.” Jeff spoke sincerely and Liz was warmed by his words even through her sorrow.

Jeff got up from his chair to sit beside her on the bed. “We’ll get through this, honey.” He put his arm around her and Liz leaned gratefully against him, still feeling Max’s phantom presence with her as well.

“I know we will,” she answered. “I know we will.”

TBC.....

Sorry guys this took so long. I had to revise after I got started because things weren't going well.

Thanks for all the feedback and comments and wow, I got new readers too! That's so cool after all this time and it's such a long story to start, isn't it? Thank you so much for reading, all of you.

I need to insert a personal note here. A few weeks ago, my mother was in a severe car accident and she's been in the hospital all this time. I'm leaving to go back to the states this coming week for three weeks so I won't be getting any writing done in that time. I hate that I'm taking another hiatus but I can't do anything about it.

You've all been so patient with this story, letting me tell it at my own pace and sticking with me and I hate that I'm not going to have it finished at the three year mark in December like I'd hoped, but I hope you'll patient just a little longer because we're coming down to the home stretch. The next part after this one, things are picking up so not much longer.
Hope you like this part. Let me know. I'm not leaving for a few days yet. Love you guys.


Everything to You Part 79


He made it.

Max closed his bedroom door and collapsed on the bed, his breath heaving from his chest in ragged gasps, lungs burning.

Safe. His room…..safe...…

]Feeling as though he were going to pass out, Max realized that sitting down was not helping him breathe, so he got up and began to pace trying to slow his heart rate by taking deeper breaths but only succeeded in making himself more light headed as he continued to hyperventilate.

Calm down….calm down…..it’s over….you’re safe….safe…..safe…..…..

The litany did nothing to ease his distress, but finally after what seemed like several interminable minutes, Max managed to get his breathing under control. His body was another story.

Sinking down on the bed, his trembling legs threatening to give out on him, he barely noticed the sweat drying on his body, making his clothes clammy and sticky, as he dropped his head into his hands. Max squeezed his eyes shut trying to block out the fear that had sent him running home, but it continued to assert itself, bringing bile into his throat.

He’d gone to his mother’s office so he could follow her to the car mechanic's. She’d called him and asked him to come by after his class because she knew it was on his way home. She wanted him to give her a ride back to her office after she dropped off her car. When they’d reached the office, Max had gone upstairs with her to see the newly renovated office space. They'd ridden up on the elevator together with only a couple of other people so it was no big deal.

But when he’d come back down by himself afterward…..

Too many people. Too close. Touching him.

A whole group of people from other offices in the building had gotten on the elevator with him. All of the sudden, everything was too close. A man behind him and a woman next to him had crowded him because several people had squeezed on right as the elevator door closed.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid……” He beat his hands against the sides of his head, anger replacing the panic.

It was just an elevator. It was so stupid. Why had this happened to him?

Bringing the heels of his hands to his eyes, Max pressed them there to stave off tears of anger and fear.

No one had touched him on purpose, it had just been a small environment and everyone had been forced to stand close together in order to fit in the small space.

Claustrophobia. Fear of closed in spaces. No. That wasn’t right. Max unconsciously shook his head. He’d never suffered from such a thing before. It wasn’t that. Lying back on his bed, he threw an arm over his eyes, his body still shaking as he remembered the feeling of overwhelming…….

A panic attack. He’d had a panic attack.

“Fucking pathetic…..” Max’s voice sounded hoarse with self-recrimination in the silent room. Sighing with impotent anger, he opened his eyes and stared unseeing up at the ceiling, his throat thick with unshed emotion.

Why now? Although he still didn’t enjoy being in unknown environments surrounded by strangers, nothing like this had happened since that night at the graduation party when Michael had rescued him from that drunken girl. So what was different?

Letting out a derisive breath, Max shook his head, the answer to his question burning like acid in his mouth. He’d been deluding himself. All this time in the weeks since he’d gone back to the observatory alone, he’d been deluding himself that he was over the trauma of reliving his assault. But he wasn’t. The acknowledgement of his continued weakness was a bitter pill to swallow.

A shudder racked through him as thoughts of Tess insinuated themselves and Max immediately sought out his usual distraction.

Liz.

God he needed her right now. Not just right now, but every minute since she’d been gone. He needed her to touch him with love and healing, to help him forget Tess’s hands on him, full of contempt and derision. He needed her to tell him that he wasn’t pathetic, that he wasn’t a loser who couldn’t even ride in an elevator without wanting to scream. That he was worthwhile….that this was just another step in the process……

“Who are you kidding?” Once again he spoke to the empty room.

It was step alright. A step backward. At least before it had just been the nightmares and the sleeplessness. That he could handle. It hadn’t been much worse than before, but now…..a panic attack.

And he’d left his car in the parking lot of his mother’s office. He would have to call her and tell her so she wouldn’t worry when she saw it. At least she had a set of keys so she could drive it home.

Inconsequential. Max was thinking of inconsequential details so that he wouldn’t have to face the sad truth.

He’d broken his promise to Liz. Instead of making progress while they were separated…..a separation that he himself had insisted upon…..he’d stood mind numbingly still. No progress at all. He was still a basket case of the first order, now complete with panic attacks.

Letting out a harsh sound of irritation, Max sat up, his chest heavy with self directed anger. She deserved better than this. Liz deserved better than a broken promise and a broken boyfriend. Looking at the clock on his bedside table, Max saw that it was time to call her, but he was distracted by the pictures of Zan sitting there.

Leaning over, he picked them up, staring down at the solemn face of his little boy. His dead son whom he couldn’t save……

Tears rose in his throat and Max quickly put the picture back and rose from the bed, running a rough hand over his face and through his hair. He had to stop this. Allowing this step backward to become a whole mile backward would be far worse than what had already happened. He couldn’t allow himself to dwell on his failure to save Zan or any of the other things that had happened or he would sink in the mire of his guilt and self loathing. He’d come too far to let that happen now.

Taking a deep breath, Max suddenly realized that his clothes were sticking to him uncomfortably. His mother’s office was at least three miles from their house and he’d run practically full tilt all the way.

With a heavy sigh, he shed his clothes, went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. The hot spray soothed his body and he tried to let it sooth his mind as he thought about what he was going to say to Liz. She would know something was wrong. And he couldn’t lie to her. They had promised each other to be completely honest no matter how painful.

Scrubbing shampoo from his hair, Max acknowledged to himself that he wanted to talk to her. He needed to tell her what had happened. She was the only one who could understand and help him. As much as he hated to burden her with it, it would be worse if he tried to hide it. She always knew when he hid his feelings and she would be angry with him for not letting her help.

After he’d finished with his shower and put on clean clothes, Max sat down on the bed once more and picked up the phone. As he listened to the ring, he felt his heart pound uncomfortably in a combination of anticipation and dread.

“Hello?”

Liz’s voice came nasally thick and hoarse across the line and Max was immediately concerned, but before he could say anything, he heard “Oh…” and a moment later a muffled sneeze sounded.

“Liz?”

“Max? Oh God, sorry. I have…..”

“A cold,” Max finished for her. “I hear it. When did you get a cold? I just talked to you a couple of days ago.”

“I think…..I picked it up yesterday…...”

“Are you alright?”

“Yes…..no…..actually……”

To Max’s horror, it sounded as though she was close to tears and he gripped the phone so hard, his knuckles turned white.

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

Hearing the panic in his voice, Liz berated herself for worrying him, then sniffed as more tears threatened. She grimaced in pain letting out a breath.

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Then why do you sound like you’re about to cry? What’s going on?”

“It’s just…..it’s just…….”

“It’s just what?”

The sound of his caring voice broke the damn on her tears and Liz grabbed a clean tissue from the box by the bed, wiping at her streaming eyes.

“This has been the worst day. You know I had that double shift at the café because….because Susan was sick…..and… I ended up working on an essay for English really late last night…..and….I went to print it out and the stupid printer was out of paper….so I got up to put paper in it……and there was this power surge…..and…I hadn’t saved it……so I lost all my work….and I was too tired to redo it and…...I have this stupid cold…..and my nose keeps running……..and my head hurts……and I’m…..I have..…….”


”What?” Max said his voice full of compassion even as relief flooded his soul.

“Cramps!”

She should have been embarrassed to admit that to him, but he’d just have to deal with it, Liz thought grumpily. If he was going to be with her the rest of their lives, he’d better get used to female indispositions.

Liz’s voice had ended on a small sob and Max grimaced in sympathy even as a small smile tugged at his lips at how pathetic she sounded. He remembered his Dad telling him once that women sometimes became really emotional during their periods and not to make the mistake of calling it bitchy.

“You’re laughing at me.” Liz accused in her endearingly nasal throatiness.

“I’m not. I promise. I’m just really sorry that you feel so horrible and there’s nothing I can do.” Max meant what he said. He really wished he could be there to make her feel better, his own misery pushed aside in the midst of his love’s unhappiness.

“Can you make my nose stop running and my paper reappear?

“I’m an alien Liz, not a magician.” Max tried to tease her.

“Then I guess there isn’t,”Liz said petulantly, sniffling some more as she burrowed under her blanket to ward off the chill. When she was little, it always bugged her when her parents made her go to bed just because of a cold. Things really did change when you got older. Thinking of her parents, Liz’s chest tightened.

“My Mom used to make me tea with lemon and honey when I got sick.”Liz didn’t know why she said that, but the words made her feel even more miserable causing more self pitying tears to leak from her itching eyes.

A moment later she felt warmth steal through her as Max’s presence filled her. She sighed and let him comfort her even as she felt weepy at his caring. God, she hated being hormonal.

“Did you take something for your cold and you know for the …..pain?”

“Yeah, a little while ago. It hasn’t started to work yet.

Max cast around for something to take her mind off her misery. “Hey, Mom sent some jokes home on the computer the other day. Want to hear them?”

“I guess.”

Not particularly encouraged, Max nonetheless got up and went to his computer, opening his e-mail.

“Okay, here’s the first one. What is the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind when he hits the windshield of a car?”

“What?”

“His butt.”

Max heard a small huff over the line and knew she was smiling.

“That was really lame,” Liz said even though her lips curved a little.

“Fine,” Max said a little huffily, gratified to hear her small giggle. “Here’s the other one. One day a first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. You remember Chicken Little don’t you?”

“Everyone knows who Chicken Little is, Max. The sky is falling….the sky is falling….” Liz’s voice was nasally sing song as she repeated the verse from the story and Max grinned.

“Okay, well she came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said,”
Max paused for dramatic effect.

"I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'”

Grinning as he listened to Liz snort with laughter over the phone, Max got up from his computer and sat back down on his bed.

“I can’t believe your Mom sent you that,”Liz said, still chortling.

“My Mom’s got a sense of humor.” Max’s voice was mockingly defensive.

“I guess,”Liz couldn’t keep the smile from her lips. He was so incredibly sweet to tell her jokes over the phone to make her feel better, especially because it was so unlike his usual reserved manner. It almost brought more tears to her eyes.

“Feel better?” Max asked.

“Yes.” Somehow she actually did. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Max sat back against the headboard of his bed, relieved that she no longer sounded like she wanted to cry. At least he was good for something.

“Are you going to tell me what happened?”

Liz’s question caught him off guard and Max stiffened as the day’s events came flooding back to him. He immediately blocked off his thoughts and took a deep breath.

“I know something happened. I felt it when you connected. Do you want to talk about it?” Liz’s husky voice was soft with gentle inquiry.

Debating for a minute, Max finally shook his head. “No. But I promise I will. Just not today.” Despite his need for her comfort, he really didn’t want to unload on her when she was having such a miserable day. Silence reigned for a moment, then he heard Liz sigh.

“I’m letting you off the hook, but only because I feel so crappy.”

“Thanks.” Max said ruefully.

“Don’t get cocky. You’re only getting a reprieve. I expect you to tell me next time we talk.”

This time a genuine smile curved his lip. “No cockiness here. Promise.”

“Are you sure you don’t need to talk about it now?”Liz’s voice was serious this time and Max swallowed to ease the sudden tightness in his throat at the loving concern in it.

“I…did….but….I feel better too. It’ll keep.”

“Okay,” Liz said reluctantly. She stifled a yawn. “I think my medicine’s starting to work.”

“Good,” Max said, relieved. “I love you. Take care of yourself. Don’t work too hard, okay? Just get better.”

“Yes, doctor. I love you too. Call me later if you want to, okay? I’ll be up.”

“Okay, we’ll see.” Max knew he probably would but only to see if she felt better, not to talk about his problems. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

Sighing, Max hung up, feeling depressed now that he was no longer talking to Liz and afraid that he would be even more so if he didn’t find something to do until he could talk to her again. Spying his weight equipment, he got up from the bed and began to stretch, pulling off his shirt as he walked around the room.

A good long workout was just what he needed……

Hey everyone. Well that didn't take near as long as I thought it would. Actually, I stopped at a breaking point because it was getting long, so I now have part of the next part already written. Yeah!

Thank you so much for your well wishes for my Mom. She continues to improve everyday and luckily, my relatives that live in the States are keeping me well informed. I hope she'll be well enough soon that I can talk to her on the phone.

Another thank you to my lovely beta Liz (IAmLongTimeFan) who also made the banner for this story that was so generously voted upon to end up in the Best of the Best calendar this year. She is one talented lady.

Oh, and one last thing. This part was inspired by, but in no way meant to infringe upon on the movie "ET".



Everything to You Part 80


“Are you almost ready, Liz?”

Megan, Liz’s roommate, came back into the room from the bathroom to see Liz on her hands and knees digging through her closet.

“Yeah,” Liz’s voice was muffled for a moment, then she sat back holding up a shoe in triumph. “I had to find my other shoe,” she said, looking up at the blond girl, admiring her short skirt and boots. Megan was from the South and although the two girls were practically polar opposites in looks and personality, they had hit it off pretty well as roommates. Megan reminded Liz a little of Maria.

“Well then get those suckers on and let’s go. The fun can’t start until I’m there.” Megan grinned engagingly, her tone showing that she was kidding and Liz couldn’t help but smile back even though she wasn’t really looking forward to this party that Megan had coerced her into.

Since her parents' visit and subsequent bombshell about their divorce, Liz had thrown herself into her studies with a vengeance to stave off the inevitable depression. The Thanksgiving holiday was past and they only had two weeks left until finals. That, along with her part-time job at the student café, kept her too busy to think about her unhappiness most of the time. But there were times, when she was tired from a long week and by herself with nothing to really occupy her mind, when it crept up on her.

Megan had caught her at one of those times and begged, pleaded and finally threatened to call Max and have him force her to go out and have some fun. Liz had finally complied, grumbling to herself that she was sorry she’d ever mentioned Max’s name to her.

As the two girls left the dorm room and headed out into the cold night, Liz let thoughts of Max warm her, even as they filled her with poignant longing. Although his love and support had been what had kept her going the last few weeks, having it from afar was not the same as being with him in the flesh. Feeling his arms around her through their connection was a poor substitute for actually being in them. It was like losing a limb having to settle for their distant connection, and she knew it was the same for him.

Sighing quietly to herself as she bent her head against the chill wind, Liz reminded herself that she only had a couple of weeks and she would be home. She couldn’t wait. As much as she loved school, Liz had been giving some serious thought to not coming back next quarter. Especially in light of the things she’d finally pried out of Max about his continued problems.

Liz’s heart still ached as she remembered his halting description of the panic attack he’d suffered the day he called her when she’d been sick. And talking about it seemed to pierce the bubble on the emotions he normally kept so deeply in check as he’d hoarsely confessed that he’d failed her and how he was still as screwed up as ever.
Of course, she’d immediately admonished him for thinking such a thing, pointing out that instead of bottling up his feelings when it happened, he had called her immediately, but it was as if he'd barely heard her, he was so intent on berating himself.

“I’m so sorry. All this time.....I wanted so badly to.....to show you.....when you got back that.....I was better.....but.....

Liz had done the best she could to sooth him, telling him how he could never fail her and how proud she was of him for the progress he’d made. She could tell that he hadn’t wanted to believe her, but she’d sternly told him to see and feel what was in her heart and her sincerity finally seemed to penetrate the wall of self-loathing he’d been hiding behind.

“You have to stop doing this to yourself, Max. And stop assuming the worst. I’m not going to give up on you and I won’t let you give up on yourself.”

“I know that. I do. I just.....want to be..... what you need.....”


“You are! Who do you think has kept me going these last few weeks? Who is the person comforted me when my parents told me they were getting divorced? And who else tells me silly jokes on the phone when I’m sick? I need you, Max. You make me happy.....you make me whole. Only you.”

He’d apologized again after that, but this time for making her cry.

And then he’d said something that she would never forget.

“I wish I could see myself through your eyes.”

Those words had hit her like a ton of bricks.

I saw me as he saw me, and the amazing thing was, in his eyes, I was beautiful.

Her own words from so long ago had immediately come back to her. Seeing inside his soul and seeing how he felt about her had been one of the defining moments of her life and even though she and Max shared an even deeper connection now, he didn’t see….wouldn’t allow himself to see….how beautiful he was.

Somehow she would make him see it, Liz vowed to herself. Somehow, she would show Max the true soul beneath the damaged exterior he couldn’t see beyond.

The two shivering girls finally reached the sorority house where the party was being held. The promise of warmth had them hurrying up the steps, Megan entering without knocking, smiling at Liz as she opened the door.

Loudness.

And wall-to-wall people.

That was Liz’s first impression as she entered the hazy room, cigarette smoke and the smell of bodies and alcohol assaulting her senses.

“Cool, huh?” Megan said loudly over the din, as she appeared to be searching for some people, dragging Liz along in her wake. Finally, it looked like she found them because she yelled excitedly.

As she tried to keep her footing in the wake of being pulled forward towards the back of the room, Liz’s only thought was, “What have I gotten myself into?”



******************
“What have I gotten myself into?”

Max shoved his hands into his pockets as he stood waiting in line with the others to get a golf club and ball. He, Michael and Maria and Kyle and Jenna were getting ready to play miniature golf and it was apparent that Maria’s plan to drive Michael crazy was working because he was in a surly mood, giving one-word answers and, generally, being disagreeable while Maria talked and laughed as though nothing were wrong. Max had only agreed to come after Maria had begged him and threatened to call Liz and tell her he was shutting himself off again. Since he didn’t want to worry Liz anymore than he knew she already was, he’d acquiesced.

Now, though, he was having second thoughts. As he watched Kyle put his arm around Jenna and whisper in her ear, Max felt his loneliness like a blanket around him. Even with Michael and Maria at odds, he felt like a fifth wheel. And, as usual, he wished he could just be home by himself or better yet, with Liz.

Two weeks, he reminded himself. Two weeks and she would be here. Not only did his heart contract with longing, but his groin tightened uncomfortably. As Max shifted on his feet, he was glad he was wearing a jacket.

God, he was a fucking mess. He could barely control his body’s reaction to thoughts of her being close, but he was nervous and overwrought at the thought of them being together intimately. The months apart had sharpened his lust, but deepened his uncertainties, giving him time to dwell on his insecurities and doubts.

Okay, enough of that, Max thought, pulling his thoughts away from his negativity. It didn’t matter how afraid he was of the physical aspect of their relationship, just having Liz close again, being able to see her everyday, touch her hair, kiss her lips…..he’d walk through the fires of hell for that.

“What color ball do you want, Max?” Maria asked, turning to him from the front of the desk.

“Blue,” Kyle interjected, slanting him a look, but Max ignored him.

“It doesn’t matter. Whatever’s left over,” Max said.

“Okay. Kyle? Jenna?”

The two selected their balls, then Maria handed Michael an orange one. “Here.”

“Why didn’t you ask me?” Michael questioned, spoiling for a fight.

“Because you always pick orange. I thought it was your favorite. Was I wrong?”

“Oh…..” Deflated by her tone of innocence, Michael stuttered to a stop and turned away to pick a club, feeling like an ass. Behind him, Maria’s expression instantly turned to one of smug satisfaction and seeing Max’s eyes upon her, she wrinkled her nose at him as she grinned, unrepentant. Max felt sympathy for Michael even as he admired Maria’s maneuvering.

They started the course with Michael and Maria going first, then Kyle and Jenna, then finally Max. Michael screwed up his shot and Maria feigned sympathy before hitting her own decent ball, while Kyle and Jenna egged each other on competitively but affectionately, kissing and holding hands afterward.

Now they all stared as Max approached his ball. Feeling self-conscious and more out of place than ever, he grasped his putter and glanced at the hole, but just as he was about to hit his ball, his vision wavered and he caught himself swaying a little. Without meaning to, he tapped the ball and it rolled a couple of feet and stopped.

“Uh…the hole is at the other end of the green there, Evans. The objective is to get it there in as few shots as possible, just in case you didn’t know.”

“Shut up, Kyle,” Maria said, picking up Max’s ball and handing it back to him. “It was an accident. Right Max?”

“Uh……” Max stared down at the ball in his hand, feeling light headed. As he looked, it suddenly blurred a little and separated into two before his eyes. He shook his head, and it became one again, but the implication suddenly struck him as incredibly funny.

“Blue balls.”

Max’s voice sounded choked as he looked up at his companions and to their utter astonishment, burst out laughing.

************************
Liz was having a good time.

At first she’d felt a little awkward, standing with Megan as she chatted and gossiped with her friends, but as time past, she’d felt herself loosening up. Of course it might have had something to do with the alcohol she’d consumed. The first drink was only to give her something to do with her hands, but as the buzz hit, Liz found it easier and easier to join in the conversation, laughing and talking as if they were all old friends. The alcohol rushed through her system, aided by fatigue and lack of food.

“Is it hot in here?” Liz asked no one in particular as she suddenly felt like she was suffocating in her sweater. Setting her drink down on a nearby table, she fumbled with the buttons until she managed to get the sweater undone, pulling her arms free and dropping it to the floor. The cool air felt good against her bare arms and midriff as she stood now in a crop tank top. Bending to reach for her drink, Liz’s vision blurred and she swayed and missed the glass the first time. Shaking her head, the two glasses became one again. As she stood up straight, Liz laughed at herself, taking a drink.

None too steady herself, Megan beamed approvingly, seeing her usually conservative roommate having a good time.

“Hey….Liz. That guy is staring at you.” Megan’s friend Linda said, leaning over to whisper conspiratorially, not realizing that she was really shouting.

Liz glanced back to where the girl was pointing and saw that a tall brown haired boy from her math class was indeed appraising her, not bothering to hide it. When he saw her looking, he winked, smiling a leering smile.

Megan frowned as she recognized the guy, and turned to see Liz look away uncomfortably. She laughed and threw her arm around her friend’s shoulders. “Forget it girls. Liz is taken. And believe me when I tell you, none of the guys in this school can hold a candle. I’ve seen his picture. It ain’t gonna happen.”

Liz smiled, feeling giddy all of the sudden as she got a mental picture of her gorgeous boyfriend. For some reason, he appeared to be holding a golf club, but the smile that lit his face made her heart flutter and her body tingle.

“Look at that look, girls. That is the look of a woman who knows her man is fine.” Megan sighed in mock envy, laughing as Liz blushed, being unable to deny it or even look humble about it.

“Come on. I feel like dancing,” Megan said, putting her drink down and grabbing Liz’s too.

“But……” Liz began, but Megan pulled her forward.

“We don’t need guys to dance,” Megan said. “We just need the right music.”

Unable to find a reason to protest, Liz stumbled after her drunken friend toward the center of the room.

********************

Maria didn’t know what to do. She stared in horrified fascination as Max suddenly dropped his golf club and fumbled to get his coat off.

“Is it hot out here?” He asked no one in particular. Struggling with the zipper, he finally managed to get it down, pulling his arms out of the holes, leaving the jacket arms inside out. He dropped it on the ground, taking no notice of it as he leaned over to set his ball down to hit it again.

“What the hell was that?” Michael whispered to Maria, just as flabbergasted as she was.

“I have no idea.” Maria answered.

Straightening to look back at the hole, Max swayed again then righted himself. He put his hand to his forehead and peered down the length of the green as if looking a long distance, then looked back down at his ball.

“Uh oh…..” Maria barely had time to get the words out before Max reared his club back to smack the ball with all of his might.

“Shit!” Michael leaped forward and grabbed the club before Max could hit. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m hitting my ball. What are you doing?” Max asked as if it were obvious, all the while struggling to get Michael to let go of his club. A small scuffle ensued with Max trying to yank the club away from Michael’s iron grip while Michael yanked back until Maria finally intervened.

“Will you two stop it? We’re drawing a crowd, here. Let’s just pick up our balls and go to the next hole.” Maria reached down and picked up Max’s ball, handing it to him before picking up his jacket and marching down to get the others.

“Am I missing something? What was that about?” Kyle asked her as he picked up his and Jenna’s balls.

“I have no idea. Max is just……he’s tired and…..”

“I’ve seen him tired. This ain’t it.” Kyle glanced at Jenna who was staring at Max curiously as he seemed to totter towards the next hole. She suddenly realized that he was moving with some sort of rhythm and she giggled.

“He’s dancing,” she said.

“What?” Maria turned around and gaped. Max was shuffling towards them, his feet moving back, then forth, his shoulders moving in rhythm with his feet, humming under his breath.

“Okay, this shit isn’t funny. I mean it’s funny, but it’s not funny, you know what I mean?” Kyle was staring at Max, a niggling memory trying to get through. He shook his head, and looked again at Jenna. Why did this crap always happen?

“Max…Max…..” Maria took hold of his arm, but before she could say anything else, he grabbed her and started dancing with her, still humming.

“Come on….baby baby……” Max sang under his breath, his hips moving against Maria’s.

“Hey!” Michael yelped, yanking his girlfriend away from his gyrating friend. Maria was trying to suppress a laugh even in her concern, but it died when she saw Max suddenly stop his dancing and put a hand to his eyes. A moment later, he lifted his head and to her surprise, there were tears in his eyes, making their beautiful hazel color swim.

“Why…..why…..it’s not fair……..” Max croaked out and sat down in the middle of the concrete path, bringing his knees up to his chest. He began to rock.

“Okay, this is getting too freaky for me,” Maria said.

“Max, what the hell is wrong with you?” Michael muttered as he grabbed his friend’s arm to bring him to his feet. A flash had him stopping in his tracks.

“Hey…..I remember,” Kyle suddenly said, pointing at Max. “I know why he’s acting like this.”


************************

Laughing, Liz made her way to the couch to sit, her head spinning. She was having fun, but somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew she shouldn’t be doing this. It was nice to let loose and have a good time, but she was smart enough to know that she was going to pay for it in the morning. At the moment, however, that seemed very far away and part of her didn’t care. She just wanted to relax and forget about everything. Forget that her parents didn’t want to be married anymore, forget that she was far away from the only person she wanted to be near, forget that she was Liz Parker, perfect student.

But she couldn’t, not completely. Thinking about Max, she suddenly felt her good mood take a downward turn. Her poor baby. When would he ever be able to relax? When would he ever be able to let go of what Tess did to him and be free? Tears came to Liz’s eyes as she thought about it. Her beautiful Max deserved to be happy, but all he got was misery.

“Hey, Liz.”

Liz looked up as the guy who’d been staring at her earlier sat down next to her.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah….yeah…I’m fine.” Liz wiped at her eyes.

“Here, have a drink.” The boy handed Liz her glass, but she suddenly didn’t want any more liquor.

“Do I know you?”

“We haven’t been introduced, but we have some mutual friends. Megan…..”

“Oh,” Liz said.

“My name’s Kevin.” He held out his hand.

“Liz,” Liz shook her head. “You already knew that.”

Kevin laughed, his eyes taking in Liz’s bloodshot ones. He let them roam briefly over her bare shoulders and downward over her lightly clad breasts. “Yeah.” Keeping hold of Liz’s hand, he pulled her to her feet. “Come on.”

“Where?” Liz felt herself being pulled along through the press of bodies and tried to pull her hand away, but her head felt thick and she couldn’t seem to break his strong grip.

“Don’t worry. It’s fun.” Kevin made it to the stairs and put his arm around Liz’s shoulders, leading her up the stairs.

“Wait….stop.” Liz hung back, panic beginning to unfurl in her stomach but with Kevin’s arm around her she couldn’t stop him from propelling her forward with his greater weight.

“Kevin.”

As Kevin looked back, Liz turned back to see Megan and another guy standing at the bottom of the stairs.

“Give it up, Man,” the guy said.

“Let her go, you scumbag. She’s not falling for your shit.” Megan came up the stairs and pulled Liz away from him.

“Wait….what….” Liz tried to clear the confusion from her head, but too many Long Island Ice Tea’s had clouded her thinking.

“Kevin is a dick, Liz. He “initiates” the new girls by watching until they’re too drunk to know what’s going on, then he tries to get in their pants.” Megan looked at Kevin in disgust.

“He what?” Liz looked at the guy who had tried to get her up the stairs. Kevin smiled lamely in self-deprecation. His smile turned into a grimace as Liz’s heel came down hard on his foot.

“Ow!”

“You’re lucky that’s all you’re getting you sick dog.” Megan’s friend yanked Kevin down the stairs and shoved him out the door.

“Thanks Shawn,” Megan smiled at her friend who just waved and headed towards the keg. Megan turned back to Liz. “I’m so sorry, Liz. I had no idea Kevin was going to try that shit on you or I would have said something before.”

“Can we go now? I don’t feel so good.”

“Sure. Sure, honey. Let me get your stuff.”

Liz leaned against the wall, breathing deeply. Now that she was no longer in a panic over being dragged up the stairs, it felt like she was going to be sick. A moment later, Megan appeared with her sweater and coat and the two girls headed out the door. But just as they got down the stairs, Liz knew she wouldn’t be able to hold back the storm in her queasy stomach a moment longer. Leaning over the bushes at the base of the house, she became violently ill.

***********************

“He’s drunk,” Kyle said succinctly, staring at Max smugly.

“That’s crazy. We’ve been with him all night and he hasn’t touched a drop.” Maria said.

“Trust me,” Kyle answered. “I’ve seen this before.” He put his thumb and forefinger together in an imitation of Max’s answer to him from long ago. “And all it took was one little sip.”

“And I’m telling you, that’s nuts,” Maria retorted in irritation. “He knows better than to do that after last time.” She looked down at Max’s rocking figure. “Don’t you?”

“He’s not drunk,” Michael said. He shook his head and looked back at his girlfriend. “It’s Liz.”

“What do you mean?” Maria said staring from Max back to Michael.

Leaning over, Michael whispered, “I got a flash when I touched him. He’s picking up on Liz somehow. She’s at a party or something and I think…..”

“Oh shit. She’s been drinking and Max is being affected by her feelings.” Maria looked down at their friend in dawning comprehension. “We need to get him out of here.” She turned to Kyle and Jenna. “Look, we’re going to take Max home. You two stay.”

“And another night bites the dust,” Kyle murmured as he watched Michael drag Max to his feet.

Suddenly, Max growled and grabbed Michael by the collar. “Don’t touch me!” He said, bringing his heel down on Michael’s foot.

“Ow, damn it!” Michael cursed, then ducked as Max took a drunken swing at him. Michael tackled him to the ground and held Max’s arms down as his friend struggled to break his grip.

“Max….stop it, damn it…..you’re not…..” Michael’s words stopped as, to his horror, Max’s hands started to glow. He glanced back hoping that Jenna wasn’t looking, but of course, she was staring right at them. Her shocked look said it all. Resigned to their fate, Michael turned back to Max and let go of one of his wrists, slapping him hard in the face.

“Max! Snap out of it!”

That seemed to do the trick. Max shook his head blearily, his eyes suddenly managing to focus up at Michael. “What’s……happening….to me?” he croaked. His voice was faint, but as he tried to lift his head, he suddenly blanched. “Michael…..help me…..up…..”

Seeing the sudden urgency, Michael got up quickly and pulled Max to his feet, his arm going around his waist. Ignoring the stares of the people who had been gawking at them, he all but dragged Max to the exit, not caring if anyone followed.

Maria stood for a moment, staring after them in mute hopelessness, then turned resolutely. “Okay folks, show’s over. You can go back to whatever it was you were doing before we made a spectacle of ourselves.” She sighed as she watched the on-lookers dissipate. “Story of our lives,” she murmured.

“What was that?’ Jenna’s voice penetrated her thoughts and she turned to find her standing with her arms wrapped around herself in defensive agitation.

“Um…….” Maria was at a loss to explain away what Jenna had seen.

“That was the end of life as you know it,” Kyle answered her, resignation and anger coloring his tone. “Come on. I’ll explain it when we get home.” He took Jenna’s arm to lead her to the car.

“Kyle………”

“Don’t worry. I know the drill, Maria.” Waving his hands in front of him, he intoned sarcastically, “The fate of the universe…..”

Maria looked at him in sympathetic apology, but Kyle just shook his head.

Following them to the exit, Maria tried to come up with something to help Kyle but before she could think of anything, she was distracted by the sound of retching. Rushing forward, she saw Max heaving over a trashcan.

“Michael…..”

“Don’t ask me what the hell’s going on.” Michael cut her off harshly, frowning in distaste as Max emptied his stomach into the trashcan. “What about Jenna?”

“Kyle’s taking her home.”

“What’s he going to tell her?”

“What can he tell her? She just saw Max glowing like a Christmas tree. He’ll have to tell her the truth. Just be glad she was the only one who saw.”

“Great. That’s fantastic. Son of a fucking…..” Michael bit off his curse as Max finally lifted his head, wiping a shaking hand across his mouth, but as he stood up, his eyes suddenly rolled back in his head. Michael caught him before he hit the ground. Cursing loudly, he managed to get Max’s dead weight into the back of the car.


TBC.........

You guys are so great. This last part was supposed to be funny, even though Max is still having a hard time. I'm glad you all enjoyed it.

So here's the next part, a little sooner than usual for me. Thanks to Liz for getting it back to me so quickly and for the suggestions and help. She's so patient. I swear, I think I must be half blind by the time I get these parts to her to read because I make the stupidest grammer mistakes. She must be wondering how I made it through school, much less being able to write coherantly. She's indispensable.



Oh and I've attached the lovely Nomination banner. Thank you once again for the nominations you guys. I'm so pleased that you think enough of this to take the time. Kisses to everyone.


Everything to You Part 81


What was that sound? Liz tried to open her eyes, but they seemed to be glued shut.

There it was again. That high pitched beeping….like a mosquito…..

Cell phone.

Rolling over on her bed, Liz managed to sit up, pushing her hair back from where it was plastered to her face. She was mildly surprised to see that she had on clothes. Where were her pajamas? She vaguely remembered Megan leading her into the room, then saying something about the night being young.

Finally locating her phone in her purse, Liz pushed the button.

“’Lo?” Was that her voice?

“Feeling a little under the weather?”

“Maria?” Liz put a hand up to her eyes, rubbing at the grit.

“The one and only. You know, I have to say that I’m proud of you. When you let loose, you really go all out.”

“What are you talking about?” Liz felt like the whole New Mexico desert was residing in her mouth.

“I’m talking about the night of drinking and carousing you just had.”

“What?” Her head was swimming. Her eyes still closed, Liz put the heel of her hand to her forehead, trying to stop the pounding.

“Don’t tell me you forgot already? Let me refresh. You just spent the last few hours taking your liver for a night on the town.”

“Wait a minute, wait a minute. What time is it? How did you know what I did tonight? Liz sat up straighter on the bed and pulled the phone away for a second to glance at the time display: 12:17 A.M.

“Because, the love of your life got to experience it with you.”

“Oh shit.” she uttered, falling back down on her bed.

“My sentiments exactly. One minute he’s laughing, the next minute, he’s crying. We danced, we sang….it was fun…...right up until he attacked Michael.”

“Please tell me you’re kidding.”

“I wish I were, but wait. It gets better. While they were rolling around on the ground… you know the miniature golf course can really attract a crowd on a weekend night…….Max decided to go all alien whoop-ass.”

“Oh shit!” Liz yelled again, then grabbed her head again as it protested.

“Again. You took the words right out of my mouth.”

“Who saw?”

“Jenna.”

“Oh no.”

“That’s right. Kyle is, as we speak, giving her the alien lowdown. He’s not happy, not to mention Michael.”

“Where’s Max?”

“Out cold. Right after he upchucked his guts into a trashcan.”

Liz groaned, covering her eyes with her other hand. What had she done?

“Is that Liz?” Liz suddenly heard Michael’s angry voice in the background.

“Tell her the next time she decides to go on a bender, she should try not to share it with the whole world.”

“Oh, shut up Michael.” Maria’s exasperated voice sounded loud in Liz’s ringing ears. “Don’t mind him. He’s just pissed. What’s new?”

“Of course he’s pissed. Oh God, Maria. What have I done?”

“First of all, let me point out that you had no way of knowing that this would happen. Secondly, Jenna was going to have to know eventually if Kyle continued to see her, so I say sooner rather than later. And third…….”

“What?” Liz asked when there was a pause.

“Um….I think Sleeping Beauty is coming to. Hang on a minute.”

Liz heard muffled voices in the background for a moment.

“Liz?” Max’s voice came on the line, although if she hadn’t known him so well, she wouldn’t have recognized it, it was so thick and low.

“Max….Are you okay?

“My head is killing me. What…..”

Oh God, I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry? For what?”

He didn’t remember? Liz felt her stomach plummet even more. “You don’t know what’s happened?”

“What do you mean? What’s happened? Are you alright?” There was an edge of panic to his voice and Liz guiltily hurried to reassure him.

“I’m fine. You don’t remember what happened tonight?”

There was a short pause. “I…..was at the Putt-Putt course with Michael and Maria and Kyle and Jenna. But……”

Liz could feel him trying to sort out his memory as he stopped.

“I can’t…..there are only confused images. Why does my head hurt? Did I have a fight……"

“Sort of. Oh Max. I’m so sorry.” Liz knew she was repeating herself, but her own head was still muddled and the pounding hangover wasn’t helping.

“Why do you keep saying you’re sorry? What……”

“She’s sorry because she fucked up, that’s why.” Michael’s strident voice caused both Liz and Max to groan as their heads seemed to pound in rhythm. Without meaning to, Liz was still projecting, the alcohol apparently screwing with her mental functions.

“That’s it Spaceboy. You are officially on a time out.” Liz heard a scuffle and muffled cursing as Maria apparently dragged Michael from the room.

“Liz…..you were at a party?” Max’s voice brought her back to the conversation.

“Yeah. My….my roommate invited me to one. How did you know that?” Liz asked.

“Images….in my head. Did some guy come on to you?”

Hearing the start of jealous anger in his voice, Liz flushed guiltily, remembering her humiliation. “Yes but…..it really wasn’t……”

You….were drinking……”

Liz suddenly felt the force of Max’s emotions coming through the haze of her hangover.

He was angry.

For a moment it surprised her because he rarely, if ever got angry with her and the times that he had, it had been Tess’s doing. Liz found herself feeling a little defensive.

“I… it’s been hard lately and ….I just wanted to relax a little……”

“You don’t have to explain. You….have every right to do what you want.”

“Thank you for the permission,” Liz said, a little more peevishly than she’d meant to.

“I didn’t mean it that way,” Max said, sighing a little and Liz felt the force of his anger drain away. “I just meant…..you should be able to go out and have fun without explaining it to me. It’s just……I worry about you.” This last part was said with such a feeling of love accompanying it, that Liz felt her own irritation disappear.

“I know. I really am sorry, Max. If I had known that this would happen, you know I wouldn’t have…..”

“I know that.” There was a short pause. “I’m sorry you can’t even go out to a party without worrying about what’s going to happen.” The guilt behind this statement came through loud and clear and Liz felt her chest tighten.

“It doesn’t matter, Max. I learned my lesson anyway. My head is killing me. From now on, I’m on a two drink limit and only when I know where you are.” Liz tried to inject some lightness into her tone, hoping to dispel Max’s guilt.

“If your head feels anything like mine, then I think we both learned a lesson.” The ruefulness of his voice took the sting from his words and Liz smiled in relief that he didn’t dwell on his guilt. Then she remembered Jenna.

“Um…Max. Did Michael tell you about Jenna?”

“What about Jenna?”

Oh shit. “Um…..you said you remember fighting with Michael?”

“Yeah, sort of. He was….holding me down......”

Liz felt Max’s fear the moment that he realized what she was talking about.

“She saw.” His resigned tone caused tears of remorse to come to Liz’s already streaming eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Max. This is all my fault.”

“No…..it’s not. We’ll just have to deal with it. I mean….she seems like a reasonable person, right?”

Liz heard the desperation behind the reassuring tone in his voice and her guilt magnified. “I think so. I really think it will be okay, Max.”

“Yeah.” The sigh that accompanied his statement said that he was resigned to whatever happened.

“Liz?”

“Yes, Max?”

“Please take some aspirin.”

Liz laughed at the pathetic tone in his voice. “I plan to just as soon as we’re off the phone.”

“Thank you.”

“Only two more weeks Max.” Liz couldn’t keep the wistful tone from her voice and she felt Max return the sentiment.

“I know. I can’t wait. Of course, if things with Jenna don’t go well, it might be sooner than that. How would you feel if I showed up on your doorstep to take you away from all this?”

“Don’t tease.”

Liz heard Max’s heartfelt sigh, knowing he was feeling the same longing for them to be together as she was. “I’m going to go so you can take our medicine.”

Liz smiled. “Okay. I love you so much.”

“Me too. And I’m sorry…….”

Of course he would say that, Liz thought after telling him goodbye and hanging up. She’d screwed up and he was the one who was sorry. Liz shook her head as she got up to get some aspirin. Thinking about Jenna and Kyle as she got a glass of water, Liz prayed:

“Oh God, please let it be okay……”



*******************************


Kyle put his key in the lock, opening the door to his house. He stepped back and allowed Jenna to precede him inside. His grim expression did not show the aching fear in his gut at what he was about to do. He could only be grateful that the awkwardly silent ride from the golf course had been blessedly short.

Hearing a thump, Kyle was even more irritated to see his father and Amy Deluca peering at them from where they lay on the floor in front of the couch.

Great. His father and Maria’s mother were getting freaky on the floor in his house. Just the topper he needed to an already stellar evening.

“I…um…have to go to the bathroom.” Jenna said in an embarrassed tone after they all stood there awkwardly for a moment, and Kyle watched her quickly disappear down the hallway.

“Kyle. What are you doing home so early?” Jim casually reached up a hand to smooth his hair. He’d hastily buttoned his shirt, not realizing that that they were unevenly done.

“It isn’t early, Dad”

“Oh…….”

Amy stood up, trying to look casual as she smoothed her skirt down her legs, but he could see a slightly mischievous look in her eyes as she gazed at him that reminded him of Maria.

“What’s going on, Son?” Jim asked, noting the grimness of Kyle’s expression. He unconsciously shifted into “sheriff” mode.

“Another crisis, courtesy of Max Evans,” Kyle bit out. He threw his jacket on the couch and sat down.

“What kind of crisis?”

“The usual kind.” Kyle explained the situation. “She saw him glowing, Dad. Now I have to explain the whole thing.”

“I’m sorry it happened this way, Son. But you knew…..”

“I know. I know. I just….had hoped we’d have longer and that I’d be able to…ease her into the Alien Abyss kind of like Mrs. Deluca…. rather than throwing her in head first.”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine, Kyle.” Amy said, feeling for him. Now that she knew the secret that all of them had been keeping for so long, she understood how hard it was for him to tell it. She felt the urgency keenly to protect the aliens and her daughter from harm.

They all heard the door to the bathroom open.

“Do you want us to…..”

“No,” Kyle answered his father, shaking his head. “I’ll do it myself.”

“We’re here if you need us, Son.”

Kyle felt grateful even as the fear in his chest expanded at the sight of Jenna coming into the living room. She watched Jim Valenti disappear down the hallway, looking confused when Amy Deluca patted her shoulder before following him.

“What was that about?”

“Nothing. Here….” Kyle slid over on the couch. “Sit down.”

Jenna complied. “So… you were going to explain what I saw tonight?”

“Do you want the short version or the extended one with all the special features?” Kyle asked, but the expression on Jenna’s face told him that she didn’t appreciate his humor.

“Okay.” Kyle ran his hands through his hair. “But before I start, I just want you to know that I tried everything I could to keep you out of this, short of murder. I’ve been trying to protect you, but …..there just isn’t any way. You can’t escape it. It’s like….the plague or…or…..locusts……. or…Britney Spears…..

“Kyle, will you just……”

“Okay, Okay….Here goes……What you saw tonight….the reason Max’s hands glowed….actually the reason Max was acting the way he was in the first place…..was because…..he’s an alien.”

“I don’t think that’s funny, Kyle. Can’t you be serious for one minute?” Jenna’s irritated voice caused Kyle to frown.

“Believe me, I wish I was joking. I am serious.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that Max….and his sister Isabel and Michael are…..” Freaks, Kyle thought, but quickly changed his mind. “From another planet.”

“Kyle, you are really starting to piss me off. How can they be from another planet?”

“I mean they’re from another planet,” Kyle’s own exasperation was starting to show through. “You know….another star…another world…..”

“I’m going to leave if you don’t start being serious.”

Kyle sighed, realizing that she was right. He wasn’t doing this very well, mostly because he was afraid that he was going to lose her when he was done. “Okay, listen. I’m going to tell you a story and I don’t want you to interrupt me until I’m done. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“Okay. Once upon a time, there was a girl named Liz and a boy named Max and ……”

Kyle watched Jenna’s face as he wove his tale, seeing equal parts fascination, sadness and fear cross her lovely features. When he finished, he sat in silence as Jenna absorbed what he’d said.

“So tonight……”

“Liz was somehow projecting her feelings to Max, probably because she’d had too much to drink and couldn’t control it.”

“And their…what did you call it….connection….is that strong?”

“It would appear so.”

“Wow….that’s so…..”

“Fucked up?”

“Romantic.” Jenna corrected him. “To be so in tune with each other that you can feel each other from a distance….”

“Is that all you have to say? After everything I told you….all you can say is ‘How romantic’? Didn’t you get anything else out of that? You’re in danger now. I’ve killed…more than once…because of these people. And Alex…..”

“I understood what you said, Kyle.” Jenna answered him calmly, understanding more than he realized. “I understand that it’s dangerous and what happened to Alex….and Max…..it’s horrible.” She looked down at her hands. “I also understand what happened to you.”

Kyle closed his eyes, wishing he could just start this night again. They would go to a movie or better yet, stay home and get busy on the couch or in his room. Anything but have this conversation. He started when he felt Jenna take his hand.

“Tess hurt you very badly, didn’t she? I can’t imagine how you must have felt when you realized…….”

“It doesn’t matter now. She’s dead.”

“But it still hurts, doesn’t it? That she used you? That you trusted her and she made you do something so…..hideous…..”

“Yes, which is why I was trying to keep you out of it.”

“So you and Max have more than dating Liz Parker in common.”

“What?” Kyle finally turned to stare at his girlfriend who just gazed back at him compassionately. “I have nothing in common with Max Evans except that we were both briefly attracted to the same girl.”

“I disagree. You, more than anyone else except for maybe Liz since she’s so connected to him, know how Max felt to be used so horribly by Tess. You both trusted her…both had feelings for her….and she betrayed you both in terrible ways. You’ve also been tripping over yourself trying to keep me from being hurt by this secret, which is exactly what it appears that Max spent quite a while doing with Liz. For basically the same reason. Am I wrong?”

Kyle stared at her, his mouth open with no sound emerging. She was right. It was clear as day, but Kyle didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want to have anything in common with Max Evans. He wanted to believe that he was just a victim of circumstances, but wasn’t that what Max was? Had Max asked for any of the things that happened to him? Had he wanted to be an alien king, abandoned on a hostile planet, pursued by the government and his own kind? Had he asked to be victimized by someone who claimed to care about him? No, of course not. Kyle was forced to admit that maybe he’d been harsh in his criticism because he hadn’t wanted to admit how much being betrayed by Tess had affected him.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Jenna said, smiling a little as she saw the light dawning in her boyfriend’s blue eyes.

“Okay, so why aren’t you more freaked out by this?” Kyle asked her after a moment. “I just told you that aliens live on earth and you’re sitting there like I told you the sky is blue.”

“I don’t know. Maybe I’ve always suspected that there had to be more to life than just us, you know? Or maybe….” Jenna’s eyes were lit with excitement. “Maybe it’s because it’s so fantastic. I mean….we’re only two people out of a few who know aliens exist. We know them and we’re friends with them. How awesome is that!”

Kyle couldn’t help but smile a little at her enthusiasm, but he was reluctant to share in it. “You know that this means you can’t talk about it, right? You can’t tell anyone, no matter how much you want to.”

“I understand. I wouldn’t betray them Kyle. I guess I’ll have to prove myself though, huh?”

“Probably only to Michael. I’m sure Liz and Maria have no doubts about you.”

“And what about you? Do you doubt me? Is that why you didn’t want to tell me before?”

“No! No of course not. I was just….afraid….”

Jenna leaned over and kissed him on the side of his mouth, turning so her upper body was pressed against his chest. “Afraid of what?” she asked as she continued to nibble kisses along his jaw.

“Uh…..afraid….afraid…..”Kyle was losing his train of thought, especially after her lips finally stopped their teasing and found their way to his mouth. They kissed for a long moment.

“Afraid that I’d go screaming into the night like a banshee?” Jenna continued after they came up for air.

“Something like that,” Kyle answered her. At her grin, he shook his head. “Don’t laugh. It’s happened before.”

“Really? Who?”

Before Kyle could answer her, the doorbell rang. Frowning, he got up to answer it, glancing back as he saw his father and Amy Deluca entering the room.

“Can we come in?” Maria asked when Kyle opened the door. Michael stood grimly behind her with his hands in his pockets,

“Only if he promises to act like a human being….or semi…..anyway…..”

“He’s not going to blast her, Kyle.” Maria said in exasperation, pushing past him.

“Can he do that?” Jenna asked in wonder, and Michael frowned at the enthusiasm in her voice.

“Did you explain it to her?” Michael asked Kyle.

“Yes.”

“And?”

“And I promise I’ll keep your secret.” Jenna said as sincerely as she could, trying to keep eye contact with the frowning alien, but Michael was making it difficult, scowling in disbelief at her calmness.

“See? I told you she’d be fine. You owe me, buddy.” Maria smiled triumphantly as she put her arm around Jenna. “Don’t mind him. He always looks like that when I’m right. Which I am most of the time.”

“Oh, he’s a pussycat,” Mrs. Deluca said, walking over to give Michael a quick squeeze on the cheek, knowing how much he hated it. “Aren’t you?”

Michael rolled his eyes, feeling color creeping up his neck as Kyle and his father smirked at him.

“And he’s so handy around the house.” Amy added for spite.

“Get this straight. I am not going to be fixing anything around your house,” Michael declared in an irate voice, staring pointedly at Jenna, but he was disconcerted when everyone laughed.

“You’re so much fun to tease, Michael.” Maria got up to put an arm around him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Jenna, do you have any questions?”

“How’s Max?’

“He’s fine. He’s at home nursing a hell of a hangover, though.”

“Really?” Kyle asked with a smirk.

“Yeah. We talked to Liz. We were right about the party.”

“That is so amazing that they can feel each other from so far away.” Jenna said wistfully.

“It is, isn’t it?” Maria sighed. “They’ve always been that way. Well….not quite that way, but …..”

“Can you and Michael feel each other like that?”

Maria glanced at Michael. “Not….exactly. We…..when we want to, we can but…..”

Michael caught the underlying wistfulness in her voice now, and he suddenly felt guilty for not being able to open up to her the way Max did with Liz. She didn’t complain about it, but he knew she wished sometimes, even though she’d said she didn’t want him having carte blanche with her thoughts, that they had the same intense connection as Max and Liz did.

Suddenly, Michael had an inspiration. The main reason he’d been putting off asking Maria to marry him, aside from plain old-fashioned fear, was that he’d wanted it to be special. And he’d had no idea how to make it that way. Now he did. He might not be the romantic that Max was but……

Putting his hand on Maria’s arm, she turned around to look up at him in inquiry and he stared into her eyes, concentrating. Her eyes grew round as Michael opened up their connection and let her see everything he’d been feeling. His love, his fear, his devotion. Maria’s eyes misted over as they stared at each other.

“Can I see….you know….Michael do something…..alien?” Jenna asked timidly, oblivious to the 'moment' that was happening on in front of her.

Without taking his eyes from Maria’s, Michael reached up around his neck and removed the gold chain that was hanging there. Balling it up in his hand, he concentrated for a minute, using every bit of energy he could muster, picturing what he wanted in his mind.

Maria was too busy reveling in the wondrous feelings that Michael was projecting to her to notice what he was doing with his hand, until she felt something slide onto her finger. Her left ring finger. Gasping, Maria looked down and saw a gold band encircling her finger and she watched it glow as Michael sized it to fit perfectly.

Looking back up into her eyes, Michael asked the question silently.

Wanting to squeal with delight, instead Maria controlled herself and looked up at him calmly. “Took you long enough.” She grinned at the look on his face, letting her real feelings show as she threw her self into his arms. “And the answer is yes.” Michael breathed a sigh of relief, feeling a choking sensation in his throat at the feelings of love and excitement coming from Maria.

“Oh My God! Is that what I think it is?” Amy Deluca nearly shrieked as she realized finally what had been going on between her daughter and Michael. “I’m so happy!” She cried, grabbing both Maria and Michael into a hug.

“Wait a minute. I didn’t hear him ask her anything,” Kyle said.

“He did. It was just for my ears only,” Maria answered, smiling a beaming smile up at her boyfriend. She leaned up to kiss him again, murmuring against his lips, “And you are as romantic as Max….when you put your mind to it.” She pulled back to smile at him again and suddenly, all Michael wanted to do was get her back to his apartment and take advantage of the promise in her eyes.

“Congratulations, Son, Maria.” Jim reached out to shake Michael’s hand and give Maria a peck on the cheek.

“Thanks.” Michael said, feeling awkward and a little foolish now that he’d made the gesture, but the happiness in Maria’s eyes made up for it.

“That was amazing,” Jenna said, looking down at the gold band on Maria’s finger where she showed it to her. “I asked for a demonstration, but this was above and beyond.” She managed to smile teasingly at Michael, who once more felt color creeping into his cheeks. He managed to quirk his lips at her in his version of a smile.

“Yeah, man. Who knew you were such a sap. I thought we reserved that for Evans. Must be an alien thing.” Kyle said.

“For your sake, you’d better hope not,” Jenna said, elbowing him.

A little while later, while everyone was standing around talking and discussing wedding issues, Maria pulled Kyle aside.

“How are you feeling about all this?”

“About you marrying an alien? Well…..I hope for your sake that your kids get your looks because …..”

Maria stopped his teasing with an exasperated smack. “Not that. I mean about Jenna being part of the group.”

Kyle glanced over at his girlfriend and his mouth quirked in a rueful smile. “I’m scared as hell and relieved at the same time.”

Surprised by the honest answer, Maria hugged him. “I know exactly how you feel.” She glanced at her mother and she and Kyle exchanged looks of understanding.

Walking up to Michael, Maria said, “Let’s go Spaceboy. It’s been a long night."

" Oh, Spaceboy! I get it now," Jenna said with a grin in Michael’s direction, and Maria smiled cheekily at the long suffering look on her boyfriend’s face as they all laughed.

“I can’t believe my little girl is getting married,” Amy Deluca said, squeezing her daughters cheeks between her hands before planting a goodbye kiss on one. Michael rolled his eyes as momentarily, the two women enthused about all the plans they needed to make.

A few minutes later, Michael and Maria said the rest of their goodbyes after Maria promised her mother they would start discussing dresses and flowers as soon as Liz got back. As she and Michael made their way down the steps after the door had closed, Michael stopped her.

“I’ll get you a real ring as soon as …..”

“Don’t you dare think that I’m giving this back, Michael Guerin.” Maria glared up at him and Michael smiled for the first time, out of sight of the others. Laughing joyously, Maria linked her arm with his as they headed to the car.

TBC........

~Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me!~

Well to the story really. Thats right. We've passed the three year mark. I can't believe it. And I loved hearing from so many of you, some who've been around for the whole time and some who've only started reading recently. I love you guys and I'm glad you're liking the story. I will say that we're on the home stretch now. Not much more to go. I don't exactly know how many parts are left, but it isn't that many.

So thank you again to Liz who helps me to see the forest and the trees and I also wanted to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas. I'm blessed that my mother is doing well and I got to speak with her last week on the phone. She's still in a nursing facility, but she's working hard in therapy and will hopefully soon be home. Thanks be to God! May he bless you and yours too.


Everything to You Part 82


“Max Evans is staring at you again.”

Liz smiled a nostalgic smile at her friend as the two of them got drinks for their friends. She glanced over her shoulder to where Max and their friends were sitting in the same booth in the Crashdown that he and Michael had been, on that fateful day when her life had changed forever. Only this time, she’d felt the heat of his stare as well as the heat of his thoughts, in her body and soul and she was immediately caught up in their connection.

It had only been a couple of hours since Max and their friends had picked her up at the airport, but it felt like a lifetime. The only reason she hadn’t immediately rushed off to be alone with Max was because of her father. She couldn’t just take off without at least spending some time with him. At the moment, he was in the kitchen with the cook, getting their order.

“You’re also blushing again,” Maria said, seeing the faint stain of color that rose in Liz’s cheeks as she leaned against the counter just gazing at her boyfriend. Shaking her head, Maria picked up the tray of drinks.

“I’ll help, Maria,” Liz said, pulling her gaze away, but Maria shook her head again.

“I got it. Besides, we want these drinks to end up at the table, not on the floor. Go back to the table before Moondoggie gets a hernia.”

“’Kay,” Liz answered vaguely, distracted again by the intensity of her and Max’s connection. After three months of having to work at it, having it come back this strongly with almost no effort was like balm to her soul and the feel of it was too wonderful to stop, even for her friends. Liz drifted back to the table as if in a trance, the eyes of her love like a tractor beam pulling her in.

“Hi,” Max said softly as she slid in next to him, his eyes tracing her features lovingly for the hundredth time that day. He couldn’t get enough of just looking at her.

“Hi,” Liz said back, unable to stop staring up into his vivid hazel eyes. Had they grown more beautiful while she was away?

“That’s just what I was thinking about you,” Max said, having heard her silent question. Unable to resist, he reached down to place a whisper soft kiss on Liz’s lips, needing just the small bit of sustenance to get him through until they could be alone. Liz let out a small sound as their lips touched, closing her eyes as her body reacted instantly to the light contact. Taking a deep fortifying breath, she opened them to find Max still staring down at her, his eyes now a darkened shade of forest.

“Do you think the two of you could tone it down just a bit? I’m still recovering from the display at the airport.” Kyle’s sardonic voice broke into their reverie and Liz felt more heat in her cheeks as she thought about her uninhibited behavior earlier.

The time on the plane had been interminable, especially since the closer she’d gotten to Roswell, the more Liz could feel Max’s anticipation and excitement as well as her own. Her whole body had been vibrating with their feelings and it was all she could do to sit in her seat and not fidget. As it was, her nails were raw from nibbling.

She walked through the door of the gate, her gaze immediately homing in on her boyfriend standing by the windows waiting anxiously. She ran to him, dropping her things at her feet to fling herself into his arms.

“Max….oh my God….I missed…..” Liz’s words were cut off to place frantic kisses all over his face, wherever she could reach. Max let out a harsh breath as their connection opened wide obliterating all thoughts of decorum and he blindly lifted her up to slant his mouth desperately across hers, unable to articulate all of the things he was feeling at once. Liz’s legs automatically went around his waist to anchor herself, feeling only Max’s arms around her needy body, his tongue mating frantically with hers and the love, desire and relief he felt pouring through their connection……..

“You’re making us mere mortals look bad,” Kyle said watching Jenna’s enraptured expression as she gazed at Max and Liz practically glowing with contentment.

“Get used to it,” Max said in response to Kyle’s comment, surprising Liz and the others and Liz grinned up at him, glad to hear him joining in. He leaned down to kiss her again, this time lingering for a moment, unable to resist the taste and feel of her lips after so long without their fortification. Later, he promised himself in his head, he would do this for hours.

“I think it’s sweet,” Jenna said.

“You are in so much trouble, Dude.” Michael murmured to Kyle and Kyle could only nod glumly. Jenna was completely entranced by the notion that Max and Liz were so connected and he felt a new kinship with Michael who had always been left second best in the romance department since day one.

“Never thought you’d be thanking me for getting drunk at a frat party, huh?” Liz teased Kyle as she smiled at Jenna, then made a face at Michael and Max as they both frowned at her.

“I’m not sure thanking you was my first inclination,” Kyle answered.

“So how are you doing with all of this?” Liz asked Jenna

“Are you kidding? I’m fine. This is just incredible and I’m so glad that Kyle finally told me the truth.”

“It was really hard on him, lying to you. You know he didn’t want to involve you.” Liz looked sympathetically at Kyle

Jenna nodded. “I know and I understand, but it’s better this way. Now he doesn’t have to worry about me being around his friends anymore and I don’t have to wonder why he’s so tense around you guys.”

Liz glanced at Max who had kept his expression carefully blank and she knew he was withholding judgment on whether or not Jenna could be trusted. She seemed like a straight forward girl with a good head on her shoulders, but she had no idea what could happen if the wrong people thought she knew anything important about them. Liz would have to talk to her about it later.

At that moment, Liz’s father appeared carrying a tray full of plates. Liz managed with effort to pull herself away from her gorgeous boyfriend long enough to help distribute the food to her friends. She deliberately sat down next to her father when they were done, knowing that Max realized that she needed some space while her father was there or they might give themselves away. They exchanged one last lingering look, promising each other through their connection that they would make up for it later when they were alone and as Liz ducked her head at the direction of his thoughts, Max felt his groin tighten in response. Yeah, hours sounded good.

He ignored the frisson of disquiet that accompanied that thought. Max was determined that nothing was going to spoil his time with Liz, especially not his stupid fears and problems. The last two weeks had been torture, the longest two weeks of his life and now that he had Liz back, at least for a while, he was not going to waste it being a coward.

From the moment she stepped off the plane and into his arms, Max had felt the pull of their dormant bond coming to life and it was wreaking havoc with his insides. He knew it was the same for Liz. They needed to complete the bond….he wanted to complete the bond, he told himself, once again ignoring the faint tremor of doubt. Watching his beautiful girlfriend laugh, her eyes sparkling, her lips curved in that smile that had always made his insides curl in longing, Max let the glow of her happiness wash over him, unconsciously easing the tension he wouldn’t acknowledge.

The group exchanged news and small talk, catching up as they ate.

Mr. Parker had been surprised to learn of Maria and Michael’s impending nuptials. “You’re so young. Your Mother doesn’t have a problem with this, Maria?”

“No. She’s excited about it. She loves Michael, Mr. Parker.”

“Yeah, loves his ability to unclog a sink,” Kyle murmured, and Jenna suppressed her urge to giggle even as she looked admonishingly at her boyfriend. Kyle wasn’t fooled and he raised an eyebrow knowingly at her, making her want to kiss him and smack him at the same time. She settled for smiling at him innocently as she pinched his leg under the table. Kyle jumped, almost upending his soda.

“Marriage is a difficult thing. Just be sure you’re ready,” Mr. Parker continued, ignoring Kyle and Jenna’s antics.

Liz took her father’s hand, knowing that he was thinking about her mother and she was rewarded with a smile as he glanced at her gratefully. Liz felt a tingling warmth through her and Max’s connection as he reached out in comfort at her thoughts, and she lifted her gaze to him, hers eyes thanking him, even as her heart entwined with his. Seeing the shift in her attention, Mr. Parker got up.

“Well, I’ve got things to do.”

“I’m sorry, Dad,” Liz said, immediately contrite for having let her and Max’s connection distract her yet again, especially in front of her father, but Mr. Parker shook his head.

“It’s okay, honey. I really do have things to do. Just leave a little time for your old man while you’re here, okay?”

“I will. I promise,” Liz said, getting up to give him a hug. “Thank you for understanding.”

“I’m not that old, sweetie. I remember what it was like.” He smiled and waved his goodbye to the others.

“I think it’s time we left too,” Maria said, knowing how she would feel if it had been Michael and her who hadn’t seen each other for three months. She got up to start clearing the table.

“I’ll only be a minute and we can go,” Liz said to Max, who nodded to her, feeling his anticipation and, to his irritation and chagrin, a small knot of anxiety in his gut.

She got up to help Maria clear the table, taking the dirty dishes to the back. “Thanks …you know….for understanding…..”

“Are you kidding? I’m surprised you guys lasted this long.” Maria looked at her seriously for a moment. “Do you…..are you……”

“I don’t know, Maria. Max is…..I’m getting mixed signals. He….. wants to but……he’s afraid still. I feel it. He’s trying to ignore it or…deny it I guess…..but…….”

“It’s been hard on him, Sweetie, but I think he really did try while you were gone. That incident at the observatory……”

“I know. It really got to him. He wanted so badly to do something positive and it backfired on him. I told you we’re going to go back there while I’m here.”

“Yeah, I remember. Michael and I are ready anytime you guys are.”

“Thanks. I’m not sure yet when, but…..I think it should be soon. That way I’ll have plenty of time to help him recover before I have to leave again……”

Maria saw the ambivalence in her friend’s face as she said those words. “Are you thinking of not going back?”

“I….I don’t know yet. I love school and I would miss it, but…..” Liz glanced towards the door on the other side of which sat her reason for living. “It was so hard being away from him. It’s like I can’t breath, you know? I don’t know if it’s worth it.”

“I don’t have an answer for you, babe. I wish I did.”

“I know,” Liz made an effort to smile and grabbed Maria’s hand to look down at new ring. “I’m so happy for you Maria,” she said.

“I’m getting married before you are,” Maria said in a singsong voice, smiling giddily.

Liz just stuck her tongue out, still gazing down at the ring. “As if there was any doubt. Remember our talk?” she asked, speaking of the fact that Maria and Michael had always been the ones to take first leap of any milestone in the girl’s two relationships.

“Mom’s already got a bridal shopping day planned while you’re here.” Maria said. “Romeo’s just going to have suck it up for a day.”

Liz didn’t comment, not willing at the moment to say when she’d be ready to give up time with Max for even a few hours. The two girls headed back into the dining room where their men and Jenna and Kyle waited for them.

Everyone said their goodbyes, and Liz felt like jumping out of her skin waiting for them to leave so she could be alone with Max. They stood together, Max’s arm around her as they watched the others finally drive off .

“Alone at last,” Liz sighed, going naturally into his arms to lay her head against his chest in relief.

“I thought they’d never leave,” Max answered with equal fervor. Liz’s arms went around his shoulders as his hands came up to cup her face, his lips taking her in a fierce kiss of longing and need. A long moment later, Max pulled his lips away to lean his forehead against hers. “God, I’ve needed that all day.”

“Me too,” Liz answered, her hands running under his jacket, seeking skin. Oh, how she needed to touch him and feel him touching her. Her body was tingling, like her skin was too tight.

“My parents are gone tonight. They won’t be back until tomorrow afternoon,” Max murmured huskily, feeling the same desperate need.

“Yes.” Liz breathed the word through panting breaths, her heart beating fiercely, her body and soul reacting to the pull of their mutual need, but she knew they needed to talk first before they let things get out of control. Breathing deeply, Liz tried to calm the rapid pounding.

His own heart pounding in rhythm with hers, Max led her to the car, opening her door before getting in on his side. His hand shook as he buckled his seatbelt and he noted that Liz had a similar problem. Starting the car, Max pulled out of the parking space, hoping he could make it to his house without killing them.

A few broken laws later, they made it and Max breathed a sigh of relief when he finally opened the front door.

“Max…..” Liz started to say as they entered, but the rest was lost as he swooped her off her feet to carry her into the living room, his mouth descending, his lips stealing her breath as he tried to slake three months of thirst for her taste. Liz moaned in the back of her throat as he set her on her feet, her hands clutching him tightly as she returned his kisses, her thoughts a jumble. Desire pooled in her loins and she could feel Max’s reaction mirroring her own as their bodies strained together.

Pulling his mouth away only to run it feverishly over her jaw and down the side of her neck, Max pushed her coat from her arms and let his drop to the floor unheeded. Liz felt Max’s hot kisses like brands on her skin, his lips tracing a searing path to where her sweater vee’d between her breasts. They swelled in reaction, the pointed peaks straining for his touch and Max complied, his right hand sliding up under her sweater to cup the sweet flesh. His thumb rubbed over the hardened point, both of them moaning as their bodies reacted in unison. They sank to the floor.

This was going too fast. Somewhere in the back of Liz’s mind, she knew they needed to slow down and talk before they let this get too far, but it was hard to do when her body and soul were crying out for the completion that only their joining would bring. With an effort, Liz pulled away long enough to pant, “W…wait Max….we need to talk….

“About what?” Max breathed huskily against her neck his tongue tracing a path to her ear.

“About…..about….” Liz moaned as Max nipped at the skin in the hollow of her shoulder. “About….what you’re feeling……”

“This is what I’m feeling,” Max answered, pressing his hips to hers, letting her feel the hardness of his desire. “I know you’re feeling it too.”

“I…..I am….but…..” Liz knew that, although it was her own natural desire, it was also the bond that was adding so much fuel to the fire. It seethed under her skin, making her want to cry out with frustration and need.

“I want this. I know you do too. Let me give you what you need……”

Liz heard the words through the haze of her desire and she knew there was something about them that she should heed, but it was lost as she felt a rush of cool air on her skin. Max had swiped his hand down her front, effectively unbuttoning her sweater with his powers. She heard his low groan of appreciation right before he closed his mouth over her heated flesh.

“Max…….” Liz clutched at his head, her legs coming up to wrap around his hips as she felt his lips and teeth through her bra, sending a hot bolt of desire straight to the core of her.

Max groaned as Liz pressed her hips to his. Her legs were wrapped around him, the sweet cradle of her thighs molded to his needy flesh and he wanted to rip away the barriers between them and make them one.

But even as the thought went through his mind, an unbidden uneasiness assailed him. He felt the part of him that still dwelled in darkness suddenly recoil. How could he be thinking of joining with her? He was dirty. Unclean. She was sweet and pure and he was…...

“You’re pathetic.”

Tess’s hateful voice sounded in his ear, and Max stiffened.

“Max.......” Liz felt the change immediately and it was like a splash of cold water on her heated body.

No, No, No. Max squeezed his eyes shut as he felt his whole body seize up, the hot desire that had filled him a moment ago, draining in the cold light of his fear. He tried to push the images away, but they remained, obliterating the present, pulling him into the past.

“Make love to me. I’m your wife.” Tess’s hands on him…..her lips running coldly down his neck as she touches him through his pants........

“No!”

Liz felt the breath leave her lungs at Max’s tormented cry as he heaved himself off of her to scramble backward on his legs until his back collided painfully with the fireplace brick.

Oh God. The images in his head. Stumbling to her knees, Liz crawled towards him, haphazardly buttoning her sweater, feeling his pain as her own.

“Max…….” She tried to get his attention, but he was too caught up in his fearful thoughts.

“Look at me. Max it’s me….Liz……”

Shaking his head, Max brought his knees to his chest, tears squeezing out from beneath his closed lids and Liz felt her own tears gather as she felt his fear. He was afraid to open his eyes for fear that he was being deceived again.

“Listen to me, Max. Feel me. It’s really me. Open your heart…..” Liz reached out a hand and gently wiped a tear from his cheek with her thumb even as she reached out with her heart to try and push through the fear clouding his mind.

Light…..purity…..

Liz’s soul touched his, and Max felt the darkness recede some as reality began to take hold. He felt a soft hand on his cheek and the silky touch of her hair on his arms where they held his knees. Breathing shallowly, he smelled her fragrance like a fresh breeze and felt her love fill him where a moment ago only horror prevailed.

Opening his eyes, Max saw Liz kneeling next to him, her worried eyes anxiously watching him and relief made him weak. It really was Liz.

Oh God, what had he done?

Liz, feeling Max’s need to get up, backed away so he could lever himself to his feet, rising slowly as he turned his back on her. She wanted to comfort him, but his whole posture screamed for her to stay away. She watched his shoulders tremble, then start to heave.

“Max…it’s……”

Her words were cut off as she felt a moment of blinding anger and realized it was coming from Max as he turned to face her, tear tracks reflecting in the light on his face.

“No…..don’t tell me it’s okay! It’s not okay!” Covering his face with a hand, Max shuddered in self disgust, and Liz could feel him trying not to break down completely, suppressing the anger, pushing down the feelings of betrayal and fear.

She’d only been here a few hours and he’d already blown it, Max thought. He couldn’t even be around her five minutes without needing her to comfort him out of an episode........

Liz took a deep breath at the feelings that were flowing through their connection, the litany of self-recrimination making her nauseous.

“Listen to me, Max. This was not your fault.” At his look of disbelief, Liz shook her head. “No….listen to me. This was wrong.”

Lifting his head from his hand, Max stared at her. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, this situation was all wrong. It wasn’t us.” At his look of confusion, Liz sighed and grabbed his hand, bringing him to the couch.

“Max, I didn’t come home expecting this, okay? I wasn’t expecting us to jump into bed the moment we got a chance, but this bond…..” Liz shook her head. “We let the bond control us instead of us controlling it.”

She stared up into his eyes, seeing the shame and doubt still lingering there and she tried to explain. “You weren’t ready, no matter how much you might want to be. You were having doubts earlier today about tonight and I felt it. And I tried to stop and talk about it but…..instead I let myself lose control, because I’ve missed you so much and what you do to me feels so good. But this….” Liz gestured to where they had just been on the floor, “was not how I want our first time to be. I want it to be because we’re both ready and because we want each other naturally, not because some uncontrollable alien bond is making us crazy.” Liz remembered that night in the desert when she and Max had almost made love because of the orb, and she’d felt the same way after the effects were gone. Like she’d been used.

Max knew she was speaking the truth, but it didn’t lessen the guilt he was feeling. “Liz….you know that I want you….so much…..”

“I know you do. And I want you just as much.” Liz reached up to caress his face. “But I don’t need sex to know how much you want me. All I need is you, holding me….kissing me….loving me……”

Liz touched her lips to his, relieved that he didn’t pull away, and this time, although they felt the bond beneath the surface, it was outweighed by the love and mutual comfort they provided for each other.

Still caressing his lips with her own, Liz wrapped her arms around him, pushing him down until they were lying on the couch. She tucked herself against him snuggly.

When she finally pulled back, Liz laid her head on Max’s chest, her hand resting against his heart. She breathed a sigh as she finally felt him relax, the anxiety of a moment ago turning to sadness and remorse.

“This is not how I had this day planned,” Max breathed, his hands sifting through her hair, luxuriating in the feel of it after so long. “I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted……”

“I know,” Liz interrupted gently. She levered herself up on an elbow to look down into Max’s somber gaze. “But even though it wasn’t perfect, it was better than any day that I spent without you.”

Max didn’t say anything, words not strong enough to convey the love that overflowed in his heart, but Liz knew exactly what he was feeling because she felt the same way. She touched her lips softly to his before lying back down. She was silent for a few moments. “I told Maria about the observatory.” She tightened her hold on him as Max stiffened underneath her, just the mention of the place causing him to recoil.

“It’s necessary, Max. We agreed.”

Max let out the breath he’d been holding, trying to let the feel of Liz in his arms sooth the dread in his heart. “I know.”

“Soon, okay?”

Liz felt his reluctant agreement and she placed a tender kiss over his heart as she settled down to hold him for a while. Soon, three long months of sleepless nights caught up with Max and Liz felt him drift off to sleep, secure in her embrace.

Liz, on the other hand, couldn’t sleep. Something was nagging at her.

That moment of blinding anger that Max had felt earlier. It had stolen her breath. But that wasn’t what bothered her. Shifting a little to get more comfortable, Liz thought about it.

What bothered her was how Max had suppressed the anger almost as quickly as it had come. She thought back to the day at the pod chamber when she had goaded him into releasing his pent up emotions. Anger had been part of it, but mostly it had been the fear and disgust he’d felt at finally admitting what Tess had done to him.

Why wouldn’t he allow himself to be angry?

Max had always felt that he was to blame for what happened, that somehow he deserved it for not being strong enough to protect the ones he’d cared about from Tess’s machinations.

He didn’t think he had the right to be angry.

That was it, Liz thought excitedly! This was the key to helping Max. Somehow she had to make him realize that he should be angry. That Tess abused him and stole from him and tried to take his life and his family from him and that he had every right to be furious about it. Once he allowed himself to feel that anger, and to release it, then maybe he would be that much farther on the road to recovery.

Determination solidified in Liz’s heart. They would go to the observatory and they would face this thing head on and afterward, Tess would be a pale memory. Lifting up carefully on her elbow, Liz gazed down into the sleeping face of the man she loved, seeing the shadows under his eyes, and the worry lines in his brow and she traced them lightly with a finger until they smoothed out.

Soon, my love, she thought as she snuggled back down into his arms. Soon.

TBC........

Wow! I can't believe it! I don't really have the words to say how much this award means to me. With so many great writers and stories out there, that you guys would pick mine is really awesome! Thank you so much.

And thank you for all the well wishes for my Mom. She's had a bit of a setback, but she's holding her own, so I hope there will be good news in the new year. And I also hope that all of you had a great holiday and are blessed in the new year.

LTL Wrote:

Quote:

"I want this. I know you do too. Let me give you what you need……”



I wondered here about Max saying "what *you* need" instead of what they both need, but I suppose it's because his fear is stronger than his need.

LTL, you hit the nail on the head. Even though Max was being pushed by the need of their bond, he, as always, was more concerned with the fact that it was what he thought Liz wanted. That's why he pushed away his doubts.


So...new part. I hope this is part of what you've been waiting for. Ya'll let me know what you think. Thanks to my wonderful Liz for helping me get this right and for fixing my grammer which seems to get more atrocious as I get older. And thanks to all of you for reading and letting me know that you're there.



Everything to You Part 83



"Does anyone need anything else?” Mrs. Evans asked the young people sitting around her dinner table, but there were negative responses all around. She looked at Max’s plate and resisted the urge to say anything even though he’d hardly touched a bite of his food. In fact, it looked as though he’d only managed to move it around with his fork a little. Not that she could blame him for not wanting to eat. Knowing what they were all about to do this evening had not made her appetite very hardy either.

Max could feel his mother’s eyes on him again, and he felt badly that he could do nothing to reassure her, but the thought of trying to get anything past the cold hard knot of dread in his stomach made him nauseous. As it was, it had been all he could do to sit here at the table knowing that in another hour or so, he was going to be back in that place.

Back in The Observatory.

His gut clenched harder at the thought, and he felt Liz’s hand creep over his thigh. Max took it gratefully. He glanced over at her and tried to smile but he couldn’t manage to make his lips curve. His face felt frozen. In fact his whole body felt frozen, like he was permanently stuck in winter. Her worried gaze traced his features even as she reassured him through their connection that she didn’t expect anything from him right now.

“I…um….made dessert……” Mrs. Evans stood up and a few moments later, reappeared with a glass cake dish filled with what looked like whipped cream and pie filling.

As she spooned the sweet concoction onto plates, Max looked at it and felt his stomach roll. He couldn’t do this another minute. He needed to be alone. Standing up awkwardly he pushed his chair back to stumble to his feet.

“I’m…..I need to…..” He gestured lamely towards the stairs and quickly disappeared.

Mrs. Evans looked stricken. “I’m sorry. I didn’t……”

“It’s not you, Mrs. Evans,” Liz said, her gaze fixed on the door where Max had just exited, “He just needs to be alone for a minute.”

Mrs. Evans sank back into her chair. “This is so difficult for him. Are you sure…..”

“It’s necessary, Diane,” Mr. Evans interjected, taking his wife’s hand and she looked at him in surprise, but he shook his head. “Max needs to confront what’s happened to him so he can get past it. In the long run, it will help him.” He looked at his son’s friends. “What exactly is your plan once you’re there?”

“There really….um…isn’t a plan exactly,” Liz said uncertainly. “We just…know that last time Max went there, he was….the flashes he got were too much and he wasn’t able to distinguish reality from what was happening to him in his mind.” Liz glanced at her two friends. “I’m hoping with us there this time, we can keep that from happening.”

“How?’

“Michael and I are going to be….connected to him and through Michael, Maria.” Liz looked over at her best friend, noting the nervous expression on her face and tried to look reassuring, but she suddenly looked up towards the door for a moment before hastily getting up. “Excuse me,” she said and everyone watched as Liz hurriedly exited the room.

There was a moment of awkward silence. Mrs. Evans looked worriedly at her husband, but he just squeezed her hand and got up.

“I’ll help you clear the table.” No one seemed to be in the mood for dessert anyway.

“We’ll help too,” Maria said, but she was waved away by Mr. Evans

“We’ll do it. Why don’t you try to relax before you have to go?” The two older people disappeared into the kitchen and Michael and Maria moved into the living room to sit on the couch.

Michael watched as Maria fidgeted with her bracelet, not saying anything as she sat silently. He knew she was nervous about what they were about to do. Except for the one time when she’d helped use the healing stones to save him, she hadn’t really participated in anything like this. She was also worried about what she was going to see. It was one thing to hear about what Tess had done to Max and something else altogether to see it first hand.

Taking her fidgeting fingers in his, Michael put his arm around her.

“I’m sorry,” Maria said, knowing he knew what she was feeling. “I’m just…..I don’t want to make this worse. Max has got enough going on without me screwing it up too. I’m surprised he even agreed to have me there.”

“He’s doing it for Liz,” Michael answered. “If you feel like you can’t handle what happens, just let go of my hand, and you’ll be disconnected.”

Maria laid her head on his shoulder, hoping she wouldn’t have to do that. She wanted to be there for Max and Liz, she just hoped she could handle it.

Upstairs, Liz sat with Max in his room. She’d felt his sudden anguish and hurried upstairs to find him sitting on his bed, clutching the pictures of Zan in his hands as he stared down at them.

Sitting down next to him, she’d looked down at the little boy who had managed to capture her heart in spite of who his mother was.

“You would have been a great father to him, Max,” Liz said now, feeling his pain as he looked at his dead child’s image.

Max gave a slight negative shake to his head, not as confident as she was about that. Despite his maturity, he was still a teenager and he hadn’t known anything about raising children. But it was a moot point because he would never know. He never got the chance to be Zan’s father. It still hurt so much.

Liz took the picture from his hands and put it back on the bedside table, pulling him to his feet, keeping his hands in her own as she gazed up at him worriedly. The past week had been hell on him. He’d barely slept or eaten, his cheeks pale and sallow, making the dark circles under his eyes stand out.

And his eyes….his eyes were…..

Liz swallowed, mustering her conviction. She knew this was right….she knew it, she just wished he didn’t look so… wounded. It reminded her of the night they rescued him from Pierce, his eyes still mirroring the horror he’d been through as they sat there in that cold abandoned van.

Max felt Liz’s certainty slip. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him they could wait to do this, but as he felt her worry for him, it helped him muster his courage. He needed to do it for her. She’d stood by him every step of the way through this ordeal and he owed it to both of them to make this effort. Even if it killed him.

Which it might.

“It’s time.” Max said quietly.

Feeling his reluctant determination, Liz stood up on tiptoe to hug him, squeezing her eyes shut as she poured as much love and confidence into it as she could and she was rewarded by the slight softening of the tension in Max as he returned the gesture, his love coming back to her twofold. They stood there together, giving and receiving comfort, bolstering each other’s courage for another long moment before finally parting.

“”Let’s go.” Liz took Max’s hand in her own and they stepped together out into the hallway.

“Are you just going to try and piss him off?” Michael asked Liz a few moments later downstairs as they waited for Mr. and Mrs. Evans to say their goodbyes to their son.

Liz had explained to Michael and Maria her theory about Max suppressing his anger earlier. In fact, the more she’d thought about it, the more convinced she’d become that she was right. She’d gone over in her head all that they’d been through together since Max had told her about Tess’s treachery and, although she had sensed his anger a number of times, he’d never actually allowed himself to feel it. Even that day at the pod chamber had been just the tip of the iceberg. Whenever it threatened to take hold, he pushed it away, controlling it. And Liz knew that, aside from not feeling like he had the right to be angry, control was the main factor. Losing his temper would be losing that control and in Max’s eyes, that was unacceptable.

“Well…..”

“Because you won’t be able to do it,” Michael continued as if she hadn’t spoken.

Liz looked at Michael in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, that you’ll be too worried about hurting him to make him angry enough for what you’re planning. I’m the only one who can piss him off enough to make him really blow up.” Behind the conviction in the statement, there was a hint of pride that had both Maria and Liz smiling a little

“I’m hoping it won’t come to that,” Liz said. “It’s not like last time. I’m not going to try and goad him into to getting angry.” Before she could say anything else, Max and his parents appeared.

“We’ll be up when you get back,” Mrs. Evans said, looking worriedly at her son.

Max wanted to tell them not to wait up, but speech seemed to be beyond him at this point. They were getting ready to walk out the door into his worst nightmare. Liz sensed him starting to lose it and quickly ushered them toward the door.

“We’re proud of you, Son.” Mr. Evans said, as the four young people went out the door.

“We love you,” Diane added for the hundredth time. She took her husband’s hand in order to keep herself from dragging Max back into her arms. She’d hugged him in the kitchen and it had almost broken her heart as he’d stiffly made himself return it. He was in so much pain and it was killing her to send him off, knowing how much what they were about to do was going to hurt him.

As they situated themselves in the car, Liz and Max in back, Michael driving, Liz left her seatbelt off so she could sit closer to Max. She put her arms around him, laying her head on his chest, basically wrapping him in as much of her body heat as she could for the drive. His arms went around her, holding her against him, his body trembling.

The drive was made in silence. Michael and Maria held hands as he drove, while Liz was concentrating on holding Max together. The closer they got to their destination, the more he began to shake, the tremors in his body almost violent now, and Liz sent constant reassurance through their connection, not allowing herself to have doubts. If she let herself have doubts then she would change her mind and tell Michael to turn the car around and take Max as far away as possible, in the opposite direction.

The Observatory suddenly loomed in the distance. Liz tightened her hold on Max as she felt him want to crawl inside himself and disappear. This was worse than when he’d come before. He knew what to expect now and no matter how much he told himself that it was for his own good, and for Liz’s good and whatever else…..he was afraid. Tess was in there waiting for him. Waiting to hurt him….to take his mind…his body…his soul….

“No, Max.” Liz’s voice penetrated his desperate thoughts. “She’s dead and she can’t hurt you anymore. I’ve got you and I’m not letting go.”

He looked down at her in the back seat of the darkened car, her wide eyes boring into his, dragging him back out into the light, away from his dark thoughts. Max clung to Liz’s gaze like a drowning man clutching a life raft, at the same time holding onto her small body, both keeping him from sinking below the surface. Liz reached up to kiss him, her hand on his cheek, keeping him focused on her until they both finally felt the car come to a stop.


They were here.


No one moved. Max sat like a statue, staring straight ahead and Liz could feel him quaking inside. Her own heart was beating rapidly, her stomach in knots as she tried to gather the courage for both of them. Michael and Maria were turned backward, waiting for them to make a move.

“When you’re ready, Max,” Liz said. Max looked down at her, seeing and feeling her determination….and her fear for him. She didn’t want to do this either. She hated Tess and she hated that she was being forced to hurt him this way. Max sensed that if he really pushed it, she would cave and they would go home.

And that, more than anything else, got him moving. Liz was always willing to make the sacrifice, always willing to do the right thing no matter how much it hurt and he was sitting here being a coward.

Opening the door, Max forced himself to exit the car, clinging to the door handle as he saw the large silhouette of the building looming in front of him. His heart jumped and his legs threatened to give out as he stared up at it, and he swallowed back the rising panic, not realizing that he was making a twisted mess out of the door handle, his energy melting the metal. Suddenly, there were hands supporting him, Liz on one side and Michael on the other. Together, they held his arms and walked him forward, step by reluctant step.

When they got to the door, Liz stopped. Turning Max’s face to hers, she forced herself to ignore the lost look of fear in his eyes, her heart breaking.

“Listen to me, Max,” she said huskily. “Michael and I have got you, okay? We’re holding onto your hands and we’re not letting go. Maria’s here too, holding onto Michael. Whatever happens, we’ve got you.”

Michael reached out to open the door with his powers, making sure to disable any security first. Then he looked at Liz, who nodded. They joined their hands to Max's and Michael took Maria’s on his right.

The connection between the four of them flooded open. Maria gasped, unable to stop herself as she felt others, besides Michael, for the first time. Liz heard her gasp and tried to send some reassurance to her friend even while concentrating completely on Max.

“I can’t…. …” Max’s said in a hoarse voice, hanging back. He was unaware of the harsh breaths he was taking as he stood rooted to the ground just in the doorway of the Observatory. He could already feel the air around them changing as his heightened emotions caused his alien energy to flair.

“You can, Max,” Liz said, holding tightly to his hand. “Try to take slower breaths, okay? Feel me……” She breathed slowly, trying to help him calm down as she kept up a constant flood of reassurance and love through their connection. She could feel Maria’s tentative attempt to help, and Michael adding his strength and slowly, Max managed to get himself under control. He was ashamed that his friends were seeing him so weak and pathetic, although, he could tell that they weren’t thinking that. He only felt concern and sympathy coming through from both Michael and Maria. And of course, Liz’s overwhelming love. In spite of his crippling fear, Max forced himself to step forward into the lobby.

There it was. That sickening familiarity again. Just like last time. Max didn’t even realize that they’d moved forward several steps until they were almost at the doorway to the main room. He could still feel Liz, Michael and Maria faintly, but another more insidious voice was starting to seep in.

“Why are we inside? What are you doing?”

“I’m your wife Max. You want me.”

Liz and Michael both felt Max jerk in their hands as the flash swept through their connection. Liz heard Maria’s hitched breath, just as she felt her own breath catch.

Tess was standing in front of him, and Max looked around in a daze, confusion and uncertainty on his face.

Panic permeated the connection for a moment. “She’s not real, Max. Listen to me. It’s just a flash.” Liz desperately said out loud, reinforcing it through their connection and she felt Max’s shaky acceptance. He stood for a moment breathing deeply with his eyes closed, then he opened them and looked down at Liz, letting her know that he was still in control. It seemed easier this time with both Liz and Michael here to keep him grounded in reality. Maybe this would work.

But as he forced himself to lead them into the main room, Max lost his tentative certainty. The moment his feet touched the floor the floor that he’d lain on with Tess, he felt his hold on reality slipping as he was dragged back to that night.

The moon overhead shown down through the large window in the ceiling of the observatory, illuminating everything inside.

Please. Don’t touch me…..

“Why don’t you want me, Max? I’m your wife.” Tess’s lips moved against his neck and he shuddered.

“You’re not Liz.

Unaware of anything else, Max fell to his knees, not feeling or hearing Liz and Michael trying to pull him back.

“Liz doesn’t love you anymore. I love you.”

“Liz doesn’t love me.”

“That’s right. I’m the one you want. I’ll always be here. Take your shirt off.”

Why can’t I fight this? Her lips are cold. No! Oh God! Please. Don’t touch me…

Max’s cry of denial echoed through the building as he once again felt Tess’s violating touch on his body. She rubbed her breasts on his chest as she tried to entice his unresponsive flesh, then she finally pulled away in disgust, her blue eyes glittering with contempt.

“You’re pathetic.”

This wasn’t working. Max was too strong, his alien mental abilities hindering their efforts to pull him back as he dragged them all down into his nightmare. As the Max in the flashes struggled to break Tess’s hold on him, Liz, Michael and Maria felt their Max losing his grip, his fear and panic strangling him as he relived Tess’s assault.

Suddenly, Liz was standing in front of him.

“I love you, Max. I’ve always loved you. Make love to me.”

All of them felt the pathetic hope that went through Max as he stared at Tess/Liz.

“Liz. What are you doing here? Where’s……”

“I came back to you, Max. I need you. Touch me…”

“What about Sweden? Alex… I don’t understand…...”

“Alex is dead. He killed himself…..”

Something’s not right…..can’t think……lips running over his chest….

His shirt coming off……then hers….

Kissing…..hands running over soft flesh….

“I need you, Liz. Please don’t leave me…”

“I won’t leave, Max. I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

Liz felt the horror of what was happening echo through the three of them as Max succumbed to Tess’s manipulation and she knew it was now or never.

“Michael…help me….” Liz let him know what she was about to do, and she felt Michael’s acknowledgement right before she pushed with all her might, using Michael’s help, breaking into Max’s nightmare.

“Max…..Max…..listen to me……”

Max heard Liz’s voice in his head, trying to get his attention.

“Max….it’s really me. Listen to me….feel me….. I’m real…..”

“Liz…….”

Max felt her. The real Liz….her love for him dragging him back into semi-reality, but as it did he realized that Michael and Maria were still there too. And they’d seen. They’d witnessed his violation, his shame.

“No! No, Max. Listen to me!”

Liz pleaded with him as Max’s shame and humiliation threatened to drown all of them.

“I want you to look....look at it through their eyes…….”

Liz felt Max’s horror at her suggestion and his pain that she would subject him to such a thing, but she forced herself to ignore the hurt.

“Listen to me. Please Max…..trust me. Feel me…feel Michael and Maria…..

Trust her. Max trusted Liz. He knew she wouldn’t be asking if it wasn’t important. He trusted her…….

Max forced himself to concentrate on Michael and Maria and cringed, preparing himself for the worst.

Horror…..sympathy…..anger…….

Slowly, Max allowed their feelings to wash over him, doing as Liz asked, looking at what had happened through their eyes. He felt their horror at Tess’s manipulations….their sympathy for him as he struggled fruitlessly against her…..and their anger as she shamelessly used his love for Liz against him.

What a minute. Anger?

Max felt it. They were angry for him. Why? He looked again, and suddenly he saw it. He saw himself being violated, being used against his will, but he saw it differently. He saw it through the eyes of people who loved him.

Liz almost lost the connection as her heart leaped with hope. This was it. This was what she’d been hoping for.

“I wish I could see myself through your eyes.”

Liz had never forgotten those words and this was what she’d wanted to show him by having Michael and Maria with them. She’d wanted Max to see himself through the eyes of love and as she felt his dawning comprehension, Liz knew it was working. Michael and Maria knew it too and they purposefully concentrated on showing Max the truth.

Maria’s feelings of outrage swamped him as he saw through her eyes his own struggle as Tess held him captive with her powers, ignoring his pleading for her to let him go, begging her to stop touching him.

He’d begged her. Why wouldn’t she stop?

Not realizing it, Max felt his own outrage….the first stirrings of anger that he’d never allowed himself to feel. Liz held her breath.

He saw his own confusion as Tess changed into Liz and Max felt Michael’s rage become his own as she shamelessly used her powers to make him think he was making love to his chosen mate.

She’d manipulated him, using his trust and his feelings of loneliness and isolation to make him more susceptible to her mind warping ability.

Liz tried to stay calm but it was difficult, feeling the fire of Max’s anger building as he slowly allowed himself to be shown the truth. Seeing it played out through Michael and Maria’s point of view, unclouded by his own perceptions of guilt and shame, he could no longer deny it.

Max heard himself lovingly breathing Liz’s name as he made love to her in his mind, and all the while, Tess cold heartedly took his body for herself, stealing his right to give the gift of his virginity to Liz, and stealing his seed, his child, ruthlessly taking into herself what he would never have willingly given her.

She’d raped him.

Mentally and physically shaking, Max acknowledged it for the first time for what it was. What she’d done to him was against his will. He hadn’t wanted it….hadn’t asked for it…..had tried to stop her……


It wasn’t his fault.

The flames of Max’s rage exploded, licking at his insides.

Heart pounding, Liz felt tears of relief on her face.

“Say it again, Max.”

“It wasn’t my fault.” Max’s voice was a hoarse whisper, but it echoed throughout the room and with an almost collective gasp, they were all brought back to reality at the sound of it.



They were on their knees. Still holding hands, the four of them were breathing hard, facing each other and Liz looked at Max, still connected, the relief and joy fading into concern. His face was pasty as he knelt, trembling violently, his eyes closed, and she could feel him struggling to control the volatile emotions seething within him.

“Max…..”

Shaking his head violently, Max staggered to his feet, tearing his hands away from the others to back up, the momentum almost crashing him into the wall. Whether it was because he didn’t want to be touched or to protect them, he wasn’t sure, probably a combination of both.

Michael helped Maria to her feet as Liz started to move towards Max, hearing his breath coming in ragged gasps, seeing his body trembling. Then suddenly, his eyes came open and she heard herself and the others gasp. The expression in them was one they’d never seen before, anguish mixed with rage so great, the room fairly vibrated with it.

Wait a minute….the room was vibrating with it! Michael looked around in panic as the floor trembled beneath his feet. Looking back at Max, he saw his hands begin to crackle with green energy, the tentacles running up his arms and into his neck.

His eyes turned molten gold……



“Shit!” Michael hurtled himself forward just as the window behind Max shattered into a million pieces, raining small shards of glass down on them all. Liz and Maria screamed as they ducked, but Michael grabbed Max at the thighs, throwing him over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry.

“Come on!” He shouted this over his shoulder at the girls as he ran with his burden towards the exit as fast as he could. Not bothering to wait and see if they followed, Michael ran out of the building, almost falling as he stumbled down the stairs with a struggling Max, but he didn’t stop.

“Hold on….hold on…..” Michael mumbled under his breath as he ran out into the desert, away from the building, away from the light. His own breath was coming out in pants now, but he kept running, feeling Max’s emotions getting out of control again.

Finally, he saw an outcropping of rocks almost upon them and he stopped, dropping Max to the ground as he fell to his knees. Breathing raggedly, he got up and pulled Max to his feet. Pointing at the rocks, Michael let loose a blast, watching in satisfaction as the rock face crumbled a little.

“Your turn…..” Michael said tiredly, backing away as Max stood trembling, fists clenched, trying to control his anger. But it was a losing battle. With a cry, he lifted his hands, blasting a hole in the rock, a shower of dust and fragments flying into the air. He experienced an infinitesimal moment of relief before the energy pooled again, his anger fueled by the flashes that kept running through his mind.

How could she do that to him?

A burst caused the rock face to crumble some more. Max saw Tess’s face as she touched him. A sound of agony ripped from his throat.

Bitch!

Another burst sent a piece of rock hurtling through the air. He barely heard Liz crying out as the rage swept through him uncontrollably.

She'd killed Alex!

The rock broke in two……

She’d taken his son!

Pieces flew into the air, one hitting so closely it grazed his arm.

He hated her!

Another…

He hated her!

Another…

HE HATED HER!


The last of the rocks splintered satisfyingly, until there was nothing left but sand and dust.

Michael had been holding Liz back as she’d run up, trying to go to Max, but when he saw his friend finally fall to his knees, he let go.

Liz rushed forward, dropping down beside Max, taking him in her arms as he struggled to breathe, ragged sobs coming from deep in his chest.

“I hate her!”

Liz’s heart contracted painfully at the whispered words, feeling his anger and despair.

She held his shaking form as he finally let go of his emotions completely, sobs of anguish tore from his throat.

“How could she…..how could she ….do that to me....”

“I don’t know,” Liz answered, her own voice hoarse with her tears as she felt his confusion and hurt.

“Why….Why…did she... hate me so much……”

“Look at me Max,” Liz said, turning his ravaged face to hers. “Because you had people who loved you…..and she didn’t know anything about love. Nasedo never loved her. He only used her and taught her to manipulate others to get what she wanted.”

Max turned his face back into her shoulder, his hitching sobs continuing unabated for a few moments before turning into hiccups. Liz held him, letting him calm down slowly until he finally quieted to sniffles.

Liz looked up to where Michael and Maria were standing, waiting for them. Maria’s face was shell-shocked and Michael was holding her, his own face wet with tears at Max’s words.

Pulling back, Max stared at Liz, his grief stricken eyes, red and hollow. Letting him feel her love, Liz placed a healing kiss on his lips. She helped him to his feet and as he rose he saw Michael and Maria standing there and felt humiliation at their having witnessed his loss of control. Holding Liz’s hand, Max wouldn’t look at them as he tried to regain control of his emotions.

“Max….it’s okay, man.” Michael said, seeing and feeling Max’s shame.

Max looked up at him and the two men hugged. Max felt renewed tears at the compassion Michael conveyed to him, never having felt it so profoundly before. As he pulled back, he glanced at Maria, who was still standing there uncertainly. He waited painfully for her to say something, but when she just stood there, he dropped his gaze.

She was ashamed of him.

Before the thought was even finished, though, Max was startled as Maria suddenly grabbed him in a fierce hug.

“I’m so sorry….I’m so sorry…..”

She hadn’t known. From the moment they’d all connected, Maria had been in a state of shock even as she’d followed Liz’s and Michael’s leads in trying to help Max. Being with him while he’d suffered through Tess’s attack, no….being a part of him while he suffered through Tess’s attack, had been excruciatingly painful. How had he born it all this time? No one deserved what she’d done to him, but now, having been connected to him even for a short while, she could see his gentleness, his reserved nature, a haven for his sensitivity that had been so abused by Tess.

Pulling back, she took his cheeks in her hands. “Don’t give that bitch another thought, do you hear me? She doesn’t deserve another moment’s peace for what she did and if there is a God, she’s suffering the fiery torments of hell right this minute! She’s nothing. Dead and gone and forgotten!” Reaching up on tiptoe, she kissed Max’s cheek and turned to go stand in the shelter of Michael’s welcoming arms. Michael could only wonder at the anger vibrating through her small body, and he grinned at the bemused look on Max’s face at Maria’s reaction.

“Let’s go home,” Liz said, taking Max’s arm. She linked her other arm with Maria’s, her gaze silently thanking her friend for her words. She knew Maria would come through in the end.

The four weary teenagers trudged back to the car, shaking the glass and dust from their clothes and hair before getting in. Max carefully avoiding looking at the building as he slid into the back seat.

“Do you think we’ll get in trouble for the window?” Maria quietly asked Michael as they got in the front. She’d tried to shake out as much of the glass and rock from hair as possible, but it still clung to her clothes.

“Everyone knows the place is closed during the holidays so no one’s going to come out here. Besides, they can’t pull our fingerprints off anything. There are hundreds of others in there too. They’ll write it off as vandalism.”

“It’s a good thing you grabbed him when you did,” Maria commented.

“I’ve had a little experience with uncontrollable anger,” Michael said, buckling his seatbelt.

In the back, Liz once again slid close to Max, sighing in relief when he put his arms around her as she wrapped him in hers. She could still feel his volatile emotions beneath the surface, but he had control of them now. The anger, pain and hurt were still there, but he could feel them now and know them for what they were.

Normal.

As they rode silently towards his house, Liz felt Max relax wearily against the seat. When he finally did speak, it was quiet and sad.

“Thank you.”

Liz smiled a little into his chest. “You sure you aren’t mad at me?”

“Yes.” Max tightened his arms around her in reassurance. A moment later, his voice came out in a painful whisper. “Liz…she…she….…”

“I know. I know….” Liz lifted her face to reach up and touch her lips to his, feeling his pain as her own. Acknowledging the truth of what had been done to him was going to take a while to heal.

But this was a huge step forward.

And they had all the time in the world.


TBC........

Hey you guys. Sorry for the long wait and thanks so much for your caring and kind words. And a special thank you to Scottie for her bumps.

I'm so glad you all were happy with the last part. I know you've been waiting for Max to make some progress. We're on the home stretch now, but we're not quite there yet. A few more parts to go. Hope you enjoy this part. And thanks to Liz for being my Beta and my friend.


Everything to You Part 84

The park was crowded with Christmas day skaters, but Max managed to find a parking space not too far from the rink. He turned off the Chevelle’s engine and turned to Liz who sat beside him.

“Ready?” he said.

“Yes,” Liz answered, reaching up a hand to his face as she kissed him. Max returned her kiss, closing his eyes and letting himself be taken in for a few precious moments by their connection, before they went to join their friends on the ice.

“I’m going to get skates,” Max said as he deposited Liz on a bench since she already had her own.

“Okay,” Liz answered, watching him walk over to the line, a slight crease between her brows. She gazed at him for a moment as he stood in line, hands tucked in his pockets, a closed off expression on his face, and it struck her that even surrounded by people, he looked incredibly alone.

Dropping her gaze with a sigh, Liz began to put on her skates, trying not to let the current situation weigh down her spirits. She hadn’t expected miracles when they confronted Max’s demons at The Observatory, but she wasn’t sure that this is what she’d been expecting either.

Max had fallen into a depression. His whole demeanor was tinged with a kind of silvery aura of grief, as though he could shatter at any moment. In a rare moment of honest emotion, he’d told Liz that since acknowledging what Tess had done to him, and accepting that it wasn’t his fault, he felt fragile inside, as though letting his anger out had broken him into pieces and the glue holding him together could give at any moment.

Trying her best to help him, Liz had spoken to her father about it and gotten his blessing to spend her nights at the Evan’s house. Mr. and Mrs. Evans were extremely grateful, knowing that Liz’s presence was the only thing that could comfort their grieving son. Every night, they slept together in Max’s room, Max wrapped in Liz’s arms, holding the nightmares at bay.

During the day, she tried to get him to talk about his feelings, listening as he tried to sort through his tangled emotions, offering her love and support, but the reality of admitting to himself that Tess had raped him had thrown him for a loop and he was suddenly struggling to cope with the feelings of despair and depression that he couldn’t control.

At least he hadn’t regressed too much as far as physical contact was concerned, but that kiss in the car earlier, as with most of their kisses lately, had been laced with a desperation and hopelessness that broke Liz’s heart. They both knew that the clock was ticking on her time left there in Roswell before the next semester of school started.

As she laced her skates, Liz frowned, her stomach churning in indecision once again. Maybe she should stay. Max had been adamant that she go back, knowing how much she was enjoying her classes, but Liz wasn’t sure she could handle being so far away once again, knowing he was suffering. For once, he hadn’t argued with her, knowing that she knew every nuance of what was going on inside him, but at the same time, he also told her that everyday was a little bit better, and he felt confident that like any loss suffered, it would only get better with time. Liz wasn’t so sure.

“Hey, where’s Max?” Maria’s voice penetrated her reverie, and Liz looked up to see her friend, looking prettily flushed from the cold air.

“Hey. He’s getting his skates.”

“How was Christmas dinner?”

“It was good,” Liz said.

She and her father had been invited over by the Evan’s to eat and open presents. Liz had been relieved that they hadn’t had to spend their first Christmas without her Mother by themselves. The stilted conversation she’d had with her over the phone had been bad enough. Only Max’s comforting presence had helped her have some Christmas cheer. He’d known that she was upset when she and her Father appeared at the door of his parent’s house, and he’d immediately set about putting aside his own depression to make sure she didn’t dwell on hers.

They’d both managed to have a nice time, sharing the holiday with their families. Liz had been especially glad that Isabel and Jesse had decided to come back to Roswell for the season. Having Isabel home had helped in giving Max a feeling of security that he’d lost when both she and Liz were gone. Isabel seemed to sense this, especially after Liz and Michael had explained what had happened at The Observatory and she’d made sure that she treated him as normally as possible, helping to lighten his load considerably.

“How was dinner with the Valenti’s?”

“Oh, the usual chaos. Michael kept telling Mom how to cook and Kyle kept egging him on until I thought I might have to kick them both out.”

Liz smiled sympathetically, but she could tell that Maria wasn’t really complaining. She loved having a new family.

“Hey, is that new jewelry?” Maria asked, leaning over to eye the ring sparkling on Liz’s right hand.

Liz smiled and lifted her hand closer to show Maria. “It’s a promise ring. Max gave it to me earlier, along with a bunch of other stuff. I swear, he went crazy.” Liz rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. She’d gone a little overboard with presents for him too, but it had felt so good to see him smile as he’d opened each one.

“Very nice. Here’s Lover Boy now,” Maria said, smiling at Max as he approached. He acknowledged Maria’s smile with a lift to the corner of his mouth. Undeterred by his somber response, Maria said, “If I promise to be your slave for life, will you please show Michael how to pick nice jewelry?” Michael had confessed about the earrings that Isabel picked out that Christmas two years ago, unable to keep lying to her as she went on and on about how beautiful they were.

“Uh…sure….” Max said, used to Maria’s exuberance. He bent down to remove his shoes and put on his skates.

Maria sobered somewhat and gave Liz a sympathetic look. Liz shook her head, her eyes conveying her concern and resignation.

“Speak of the devil,” Maria said as Michael skated up. He inclined his head at Liz, his eyes on Max. “Yo….Maxwell….”

Max looked up from lacing his skates. “Hey,” he said before dropping his head and going back to his task. Michael stared at him, his lips pursed in concern.

Liz felt her throat thicken with suppressed tears as she saw her friend’s concern for Max. They were trying so hard to be normal, but the situation wasn’t normal and there was nothing they could do about it. Max was going to have to heal in his own time.

Feeling all eyes upon him as he finally finished lacing his skates, Max took a deep breath before lifting his head to face the concerned faces of his friends. As much as he loved them, he wished they would just stop worrying about him. He knew he should try and put up some sort of façade so that they would feel better, but he just couldn’t. The pressure of it was too much right now. But the constant concern about his well being from his friends was its own kind of pressure. He felt guilty for making them worry.

“Hey guys, let’s get going. Max needs all the practice he can get,” Liz said, trying to ease the tension some. She felt Max’s need for their friends to back off so she tried to tease him. Michael and Maria obligingly moved back to give them room.

Max looked at Liz, knowing what she was trying to do, and a genuine smile lifted his mouth. “Thanks for the support,” he said in mock hurt in response to her comment.

Liz smiled, both in amusement as his retort and relief that he was trying to lighten up. “You know I’m here for you, baby.”

Max lifted his eyebrow at the endearment and Liz laughed. Taking his arm, they stepped out onto the ice. A few awkward moments later, they’d developed a sort of rhythm. Liz remembered vividly last year when they’d come to this same skating rink and Max had told her what a bad skater he was. He wasn’t really bad, just uncomfortable with it. He couldn’t relax.

“There’s Jenna and Kyle,” Liz said, pointing to where they were talking and laughing with some of their other friends. “Remember this time last year when Kyle was just getting up the nerve to ask Jenna out?”

“I seem to recall that you and Maria weren’t exactly giving him much choice,” Max said.

“It was for his own good. Jenna’s perfect for him,” Liz said smiling in smug satisfaction at her and Maria’s matchmaking skills. “Kyle deserves someone who really cares about him, and he needed a little nudge to let go of the past.” Liz continued, more soberly. Her unspoken reference to Tess’s treachery didn’t go unnoticed by Max and he looked down at her as Liz lifted her worried dark eyes to him.

“Liz…..”

“That wasn’t a dig at you, Max. I just….can’t stand to see you like this. I want to take the pain away. Tell me what I can do.” Her dark eyes pleaded with him, and Max stopped to face her at the edge of the rink.

“You’re doing it,” he said, lifting his hand to tenderly smooth back a tendril of loosened hair. “Just being here.... you loving me is all I need.”

“I do love you. So much…..”

Max leaned down to kiss her, ignoring her cold nose as his lips softly caressed hers.

When they parted, Liz took a deep breath. “Max….I……”

“No, Liz. We talked about this. You’re going back to school.”

Liz stared up at him, frustrated with his tone and his stubbornness. “This isn’t just your decision to make, Max,” she said, unconsciously echoing Isabel’s words to him so long ago. “Do you understand how hard it is for me to leave you like this?” Her words were hoarse with the tears beginning to clog her throat and Max heaved an apologetic sigh, taking her into his arms. Liz buried her cold nose in his jacket, clinging to him.

“I know. I’m sorry,” Max’s voice was soft with regret as he continued to hold her for another long moment, breathing in the familiar fragrance of her hair.

When they finally parted, Max looked down at her in sincere resignation. “I wasn’t going to bring this up here, but……”he led her off of the ice to a secluded bench and turned to face her, taking her hands. Liz was surprised to see him smile a small smile tinged with acceptance and not a little bit of fear.

“I’ve decided to put my application back into Northwestern.”

“What?” Liz said, staring at him in shock.

“When I get my acceptance, I’ll pack up my stuff and come out there as soon as my semester at ENMU is over.”

“Are you sure about this? I mean……” Liz tried to hold back her burgeoning excitement as she reached out through their connection to “see” his true feelings.

Feeling her probing him, Max let her in. He was afraid…..but determined. He needed her. He couldn’t do this alone anymore.

Liz gazed at him seriously. “Needing me isn’t a bad thing, Max,” she said, bringing up their old argument.

“I know. I know that. I...guess I just had to realize it the hard way.”

Liz answering smile could have lit up the park as she finally let it sink in that they were going to be together. She flung her arms around his neck, squeezing him with all her might.

With Liz’s happiness bubbling over through their connection, Max couldn’t help the smile that curved his lips as it filled him. He was still afraid, but he knew it was the right decision. It had taken this time with Liz during their break for him to realize just how empty he had been when they were apart. She was his light, his soul, everything good in his life and he didn’t want to be without that anymore. As it was, the weeks until the new semester was over were going to be excruciating but at least he would have something to occupy him until he got his acceptance back from Northwestern.

“Hey you two. No fair ignoring the rest of us.”

Liz looked up to see Maria and Michael standing at the edge of the rink. When she and Max re-entered the ice, Maria immediately noticed the difference in her friend.

“What’s going on?” she asked, staring as Liz smiled up at Max.

“Max is putting his application back in at Northwestern. He’s coming out to Illinois!” Liz’s happiness was palpable and Maria couldn’t help but be excited with her.

“That’s great. I’m so happy for you,” she said, smiling, but she couldn’t help but glance at her boyfriend who was being very quiet. “When are you going, Max?’

“As soon as the semester is over at ENMU.”

Liz smiled up at him and Max couldn’t help but feel better at the joy that practically radiated from her. It had been a long time since he’d seen her this happy and he was glad he’d been the one to put the beautiful smile on her face.

Jenna was waving them over and Liz and Maria skated ahead to meet her, while Max slowly followed and Michael kept pace with him. Max glanced at his friend, noting the closed look on his face, and after a moment of silence, he finally spoke up.

“What is it, Michael?”

Michael glanced at him for a moment, then shook his head. “Nothing.”

Max sighed in exasperation. “Bullshit. What’s going on?”

Another moment of silence followed before Michael finally burst out, “You think you’re just up and ready to move all of the sudden? Fuck, Max! You’ve barely begun to recover…..”

“I need Liz, Michael. I’ve tried this on my own and I can’t do it anymore. You of all people should understand that.” Max stared at him, and they both knew he was referring to the fact that Michael had given up his chance to go back to their home planet to stay with Maria.

“I…..”Michael stopped knowing he didn’t really have an argument. He clamped his lips shut, a frown of confusion and dismay coloring his features.

“You don’t need me here anymore, Michael.”

Max’s statement hung between them as the two aliens skated off to the side of the rink away from the others for a moment, and Michael’s frown deepened.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Just what I said and I’ve said it before,” Max answered, feeling the ache of loss that Michael was refusing to acknowledge. “We’re not kids anymore, Michael. I’m not your leader and you’re perfectly able to take care of yourself now. You have been for a long time. And if you get out of line, I’m sure Maria is more than willing to make sure you know it.” Max tried to smile but it was nothing more than a quirk of his lip that Michael didn’t return, and he sighed. “I’m going to miss you, you know that. You’ve been there for me this last year more times than I can count and I….can’t tell you how much that means to me. But….Maria’s your family now. You don’t need Isabel and me to fill in anymore.”

“You and Isabel will always be my family. You’re the only ones…….” Michael swallowed back the emotion that threatened to bring unwanted moisture to his eyes. “You’ll just always be my family. I’ll always need you.”

Max shook his head, his expressive eyes conveying his own feelings of love for Michael and acknowledging that there were things the three of them had shared over the many years that they never could have if they were normal humans. * “Me too. But it’s time to move on. It’s time to have that life we were always so afraid to have. Isabel’s already doing it. It’s time for us to catch up.”

“Can you? I mean, can you really?” Michael asked, gazing at his friend with more than a little concern. “Are you ready to let go of what’s happened and finally move on?”

“I…….” Max dropped his gaze as he leaned back against to wall, apprehension and uncertainty like a lead weight in his chest. “I’m…..ready to try. I know I still have …..things to work out but…..I just know that I can’t deal with them without Liz and I won’t ask her to give up school. She’s given up enough already. My fear is the only thing holding us back and I just…..I have to get over it. I….. have to.”

Michael thought that was easier said than done, but he didn’t voice that opinion. He knew that along with the acknowledgement of his assault, Max was still dealing with feelings of unworthiness and the stain he felt that Tess had left on him in her wake. Michael didn’t know how to help him overcome those obstacles. It was easy to tell Max that others didn’t feel that way about him, but it didn’t help rid him of feeling that way about himself. Hopefully time and Liz’s love and attention would heal his wounds.

“You know….you can come to me….if you need to….about anything….while you’re still here….if you want to.”

This hesitant speech was delivered with such excruciating awkwardness that Max almost smiled, but he managed to suppress it, knowing that it was as heartfelt as anything Michael had ever said to him. “I know. Thanks.” Max reached out a hand and put it on Michael’s shoulder. “We’ll always be a part of each other and distance won’t change that Michael. We’ll always be there for each other if the need arises.”

Michael stared at Max for a long silent moment, but the connection formed let him know that these were the words that Michael needed to hear.

Max looked up as Kyle skated toward them. He stopped himself against the wall.

“Hey, you left me surrounded by chicks, which would normally be alright but they’re discussing wedding stuff so…I’m bored.” Kyle leaned against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest.

Realizing that their conversation was over, Max and Michael let Kyle lead them back toward where the girls were talking. “So anymore talk about the date yet?” Max asked Michael.

“No. Probably sometime in the spring.”

“Hey, good luck with that,” Kyle said, effectively cutting off more wedding talk. “So…..you guys want to meet me at the gym on shopping day to play a little horse?”

Max and Michael looked at each other wondering where Kyle’s sudden friendliness was coming from. “Uh…sure,” Max said. The girl’s shopping trip for the wedding was in a couple of days.

“Cool. I’ll wipe up the court with you two.”

Michael eyed him, blatantly noting his smaller stature as compared to himself and Max, but Kyle just grinned at him.

“Haven’t you heard the phrase, “size doesn’t matter”?” Kyle looked at him in mock sympathy, his smirk barely held in check. “Well maybe in your case it does. Poor Maria.”

Even Max had to smile at the look on Michael’s face.

In the meantime, the girls were discussing their upcoming shopping trip. Maria had invited Jenna along as well as Isabel, her Mom and Mrs. Evans.

“Have you guys decided on a Honeymoon yet?” Jenna asked.

“No, although we discussed a few places. Somewhere with a beach, I think. We had such a good time in Galveston, minus the false pregnancy drama of course.” Maria rolled her eyes as she thought about how humiliated she been by that whole debacle.

“Have you talked about kids?” Jenna asked curiously. Kyle had told her about Maria’s pregnancy scare on their vacation. “I mean, have either of you talked about it with Max or Michael? Is it even possible?”

“Since they’re part human, it’s pretty likely that we can have children with them,” Liz answered her, making sure that no one else was in proximity to hear their conversation. Jenna noted her looking around and realized rather belatedly that they needed to be careful. Her face flushed as she saw Liz looking at her, obviously knowing what she was thinking.

Liz smiled sympathetically at the other girl’s discomfiture. Taking the opportunity, she brought up something that she’d been meaning to talk to her about.

“It’s okay, Jenna. It’s hard to understand why we’re so paranoid, but……we can’t ever let our guard down. Things have been pretty quiet lately, but it doesn’t mean that there aren’t people who are looking for them.”

“Or other aliens who are looking for them,” Maria added with a shiver, thinking about Nicholas and the dupes.

Wide eyed, Jenna shook her head. “I’m really sorry. I promise I’ll be more careful.” She was completely embarrassed that after they’d trusted her, she’d made such an error.

“Don’t worry about it. Remember Alex telling us about what happened at the UFO center that day when Michael got sick?” Maria asked Liz, who nodded. Maria proceeded to tell Jenna the story of how Alex and Isabel were in the UFO center right after he had learned their secret and Alex had spoken so loudly about finding their home planet that the whole place had stopped and stared.

“Oh my God…..” Jenna said, appalled and amused at the same time.

“Yeah, he was pretty embarrassed.” Liz said, smiling nostalgically, missing her friend acutely.

“Not to mention Isabel. She was ready to kill him.” Maria shook her head, sadness and amusement evident on her face as well.

“Anyway, just be careful, that’s all. It’s really important to remember that anyone could be waiting for an opportunity.” Liz’s statement was grim and Maria put her arm around her friend, knowing she was thinking about Max’s captivity. Jenna nodded quickly, making a mental note not to let herself forget again.

The guys were skating up and sensing Max’s nearing presence, Liz turned, but her abrupt movement caused Max to lose his balance. He tried to compensate, but lost the battle, coming down solidly on his jeans clad backside.

Looking up at Liz with a grimace, Max said, “Ow,” in such a conversational voice that Liz’s apology turned into a giggle. Smiling, she leaned down to give him a hand up, but Max outweighed her by quite a bit and she ended up slipping and falling down next to him.

Kyle clapped for them while everyone else grinned.

“Yeah….Ow,” Liz confirmed, rubbing her smarting bottom. She heaved herself to her feet with a little help from Maria, and let Max lift himself up, steadying him once he was on his own feet. Maria helped her brush the ice from her jacket before she and Michael skated off.

“Okay now that we’ve thoroughly embarrassed ourselves, what do you say we actually attempt to skate and enjoy the rest of the evening?” Liz’s eyes sparkled as she looked up at her boyfriend from beneath her lashes.

“I’m not making any promises,” Max said, surreptitiously rubbing his sore backside. Liz just smiled and took his arm, leading them in a slow glide around the ice.

A few contented moments later, Liz said, “Do you remember last year when we were here, how we were just friends?”

Max nodded, not really wanting to remember how far apart they’d grown before they knew the full extent of what Tess had done to him, when he had almost lost Liz for good.

Knowing his negative thoughts, Liz squeezed his arm where it was looped around hers and shook her head. “I never stopped loving you, Max. Not for one small second. Even when I thought all of the things that happened were by your choice. But that isn’t why I brought it up. I was just thinking how far we’ve come in a year and how excited I am that we’re finally going to be living together, going to school together……” Liz looked up at him, her eyes shining with her happiness. “It’s what I’ve wanted for so long.”

“Me too,” Max answered her, meaning it sincerely even as he felt his own trepidation about the future.

He was leaving Roswell. Finally after all these years, he was leaving the security of the only home he’d ever known to face the unknown.

He was finally coming out from behind his tree.

Liz gazed up at him, reading his thoughts and she slipped her hand down to take his. “It’ll be okay, Max. You’ll see.” Max returned her grip firmly, taking a deep breath, trying to let the flow of her love and certainty through their connection, reassure him.

But as they continued to skate, Max still felt the weight of the depression that he couldn’t seem to explain trying to steal the small bit of sunshine that Liz’s happiness had evoked. Trying not to think of the months ahead without her, Max held Liz’s hand as they continued their slow progress around the pond.


TBC......

Okay, you guys. Quick drive by to post the new part and to say LOOK AT MY NEW AVATAR! Isn't Liz awesome? She made it for me and I'm so excited.

Thanks for everyone's comments. Glad you're all so involved in this story. Let me know what you think of this new part.

Love you guys.



Everything to You Part 85

“Breakfast is ready, Max.”

His Mother’s voice floated up from the kitchen as Max pulled his t-shirt over his head.

“Okay.” he answered. He finished getting dressed and looked in the mirror on his wall to make sure he looked semi-presentable before going downstairs. He didn’t really notice the dark circles under his eyes or dullness in his own gaze anymore, having stopped really looking at his own reflection ages ago.

Diane Evans looked up as her son entered the kitchen, noting the threadbare jeans and old t-shirt he had on. For once, she approved, knowing where he was going today.

“How is Liz?” Diane asked as she set the plates on the table, taking the coffee cup her son offered her gratefully. She knew that Max and his girlfriend spoke each night on the phone before they went to bed since Liz had left to go back to school a few weeks ago.

“She’s fine. She got an A on her Lit test so she was happy.” A small quirk of a smile appeared on his face before it disappeared and Diane hid her sigh behind her coffee cup at the quickness of it. She watched for a moment as her son toyed with his food, eating small bites here and there, mostly drinking coffee. She knew he didn’t sleep much and the caffeine helped him stay awake after long nights of watching TV or being woken up by nightmares.

Diane’s food remained untouched as she watched her son. She felt a tightening in the knot of worry that had permanently taken up residence in her stomach over the last few weeks while she'd slowly watched Max deteriorate. Her heart clenched a little in anticipation and anxiety over what today’s exercise would bring about for her son, but she quickly reminded herself that it was for his own good. One only had to look at Max’s face to see that he needed help and Diane was determined to do something about it. He couldn’t go on this way. It was killing him.

She knew the signs of depression. Diane had gone through it herself after she’d lost her only natural child, and it had taken the love of her husband….and therapy, to help her through it. Max had the love of his family and the devoted love of the girl of his dreams, but he didn’t have the luxury of being able to go to therapy nor did she think he would if she suggested it. She didn’t delude herself that he would be instantly cured by what she was doing, but she hoped that it would help him……

“Mom…can you…….please…..” Max’s voice cut off her thoughts as Diane looked at his face to see him gazing at her pleadingly and she realized that she’d been staring a hole in his face as he’d been sitting there silently.

“I’m sorry, Honey. I wasn’t…..I was just lost in my thoughts. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” Diane made an effort to smile as she picked up her fork and made herself eat a few bites of her cold eggs.

Max didn’t believe her for a minute, but he wasn’t up to arguing with her. He had felt her intense regard on him as he’d tried to get some food down his throat and he knew she was worried about him, but he couldn’t help that.

The depression that had taken over him since the night at The Observatory had yet to dissipate. While Liz had been there, Max had managed not to let it completely take hold, but the moment she’d left to go back to school, it had overwhelmed him. It was an effort to get up in the morning, an effort to make it through the day, whether at school or at work and an effort to appear even semi-normal. The only thing that kept him going was talking to Liz each day on the phone, but even that wasn’t enough to fully bring him out of his fog.

And he could tell it was getting to everyone, including Liz. Max knew he couldn’t hide it from her so he didn’t try, but even her efforts to help him were failing. Each night on the phone, Liz would talk and listen and open their connection to help him feel her love, but they both knew they couldn’t stay on the phone indefinitely and it became a little more difficult each day to hang up. She encouraged him and reminded him that he would be there with her soon, but although that seemed to be the panacea for Liz, for Max, it was a mixed blessing. He wanted to be with her more than his next breath, but at the same time, he was worried that his problems were just going to bring her down with him rather than dissipate.

And he didn’t understand this. Why was he feeling this way now? Why hadn’t he been depressed all along? He hated this feeling of hopelessness that permeated his being. He felt on the verge of tears for no reason, he was tired all the time, and he knew that his family and friends were at the ends of their ropes with him. Case in point, his Mother’s worried stare this morning.

Max sighed and finished his coffee. “Thanks for breakfast, Mom. I guess I’d better get going.”

Oh…okay. You know how to get there, right?”

“Yeah. You showed me on the map, remember?”

“That’s right.” Diane smiled self-deprecatingly. “I really appreciate this, Honey. And I know that Marsha does too. It’s not every teenager who would give up a Saturday to do volunteer work.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t have anything else planned.” Except maybe sitting in my room brooding, Max thought. He closed his eyes briefly in self-disgust before getting up from the table to clear his plate.

“I’ll see you later,” Max said, putting his plate in the sink and Diane watched as he disappeared back up the stairs. Unclenching her hand from around her coffee cup, she gave up on the pretense of eating herself and got up to empty her plate.

This had to help. Diane closed her eyes and sent a prayer up to heaven for her son. “Please let this help……”


********************

Max looked at the nondescript building in front of him. This had to be it. There was no number marking the address, but that was what he’d been expecting. His mother had told him when she’d asked if he would help her friend out at the local women’s shelter that the building wouldn’t be marked and he wouldn’t find the address in the phonebook.

The shelter was an anonymous place for victims of domestic violence to, not only seek help, but to keep them safe from their vengeful partners. They were temporarily moving into another building while this one was being renovated, and Mrs. Evan’s friend had asked for volunteers to help ready furniture and other things for the move to their temporary location.

Parking the car and walking inside, Max looked around for a moment, unsure of where he should go. An attractive older woman in jeans and a t-shirt covered by a long-sleeve flannel shirt came from around a corner, and stopping short for a moment looking at him, she suddenly smiled.

“You must be Max. I’m Marsha Donnelly, your Mother’s friend. I really appreciate you coming today. We can use every bit of help we can get.” She held out her hand and Max shook it, before shoving his hands back into his pockets.

“So…let me show you around a bit and then I’ll show you what I need you to do. I’ve got some drinks in the kitchen if you get thirsty and I’ve got lunch coming at about noon. Is that okay?”

“Sure….” Max nodded as he followed the dynamic woman through the corridors of the building. Noting the peeling paint and dim interior of some of the rooms, Max could see why the place needed renovating. He saw others packing boxes and cleaning as Marsha pointed things out, showing him where she needed him the most. She put him to work moving furniture and packing boxes then went off to finish her own project.

Five hours later, Max was wiping the sweat from his forehead as he hefted yet another box when she appeared inside the room where he was working holding two sodas and a plate of cookies.

“Just put those boxes over there, Max, then come sit and take a break. You’ve been working all day.”

Max did as she asked, sitting opposite her at one of the only tables left here in the dining area. Marsha handed him a soda, and he took it gratefully, opening it quickly, appreciating the cold harshness of the carbonation in his parched throat.

“So, your Mom tells me you have a girlfriend going to college in Illinois.”

“Yes,” Max answered, taking another small sip of his drink.

“That must be hard. I bet you miss her a lot.”

Max nodded, feeling the ache in his heart that he’d felt since Liz left, more acutely. He knew he was going to be with her soon, but the long weeks without her comforting, loving presence had been some of the worst of his life. Even worse than last time since being burdened with this depression he couldn’t seem to get rid of.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.” Marsha had noted the sad darkening of the young man’s eyes at the mention of his long distance relationship before his face had settled back into impassivity.

Shaking his head to negate her apology, Max cast around for something to take the subject off of him. “How did you…..I mean…..is this…” he gestured around, “what you do for a living?”

“Yes. Actually, I run this shelter, but I also travel quite a bit, lecturing.”

“Lecturing?” Max asked.

“I run seminars and give talks about domestic violence and how to help local shelters become more efficient.”

Max contemplated her words as he surreptitiously studied her. Although she was dressed to work and clean, he noted the manicured fingernails, understated makeup and up to date hairstyle. Had he seen her somewhere else, the mall for instance, he would have taken her for a businesswoman or even a debutant.

Marsha smiled at Max and he suddenly realized that something of his thoughts must have shown on his face. He blushed a little, suddenly embarrassed for stereotyping this nice woman.

“It’s okay, Max. Most people don’t look at me and instantly think, “philanthropist”.

“I’m sorry.”

“Seriously, Max. Happens all the time.” She smiled so engagingly that Max couldn’t help but feel better. What was it about her that put him at ease?

“How did you get into this line of work?” Max asked.

“Well…..” Marsha paused to take a breath, looking at him seriously. “It’s kind of a long story. Are you interested?”

Max nodded, meaning it truthfully.

“Okay. Let me know if anything I say makes you uncomfortable and you want me to stop.”

Max frowned a little at her words, but before he could give them more thought she was speaking again.

“I was sexually abused by an uncle when I was a child.”

Max couldn’t have been more surprised if she’d said she was an alien. His shock must have registered because Marsha nodded a little, her face showing that she was used to this reaction.

“It started when I was around twelve and went on for several years. My parents never knew because I was afraid to tell them. He said that he would deny it and that they wouldn’t believe me and that they would send me away if I told. My parents weren’t….my Father was an alcoholic and my Mother….let’s just say it wasn’t the best home environment anyway so I believed him. It went on until I finally couldn’t take it anymore and left home. I was sixteen.”

Max couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This lovely, well-spoken woman sitting in front of him didn’t fit with the picture he had in his head at all of what a victim of abuse looked like. Marsha kept her gaze on Max’s face, seeing his disbelief, but also seeing his rapt attention.

“Living on the street at sixteen with no money, no skills and no education to speak of, things quickly went down hill, as you might expect. Before long I was doing anything I could to get by including selling myself for food…for drugs…for anything that got me through the day. I ended up in a house with other runaway girls and found out too late that it was a stable of hookers for a pimp who kept us pretty well subjugated.”

Dropping his gaze away from her perceptive eyes, Max swallowed back the bile that suddenly came to his throat. How horrible her life had been! He felt sick that she’d suffered so much.

“Victims of abuse usually have little to no self-esteem, Max. They think that whatever’s happened to them has to be their fault, usually because they’re told that by their abuser. They feel worthless and like they’ll never be able to function normally again once the abuse stops.”

Her words sank into Max’s mind and he suddenly felt his stomach drop and his burning gaze rose to meet the woman's eyes in front of him.

This was a setup.

Marsha saw his dawning realization and hurried to reassure him. “Don’t be angry, Max. Your Mother’s been worried about you and I really did need volunteers today. I wouldn’t have worked you so hard for nothing.” She smiled a little self deprecatingly, but quickly sobered. “Please believe that your Mom didn’t betray any confidences. She just asked if I would talk to you.”

“What did she tell you?” Max asked hoarsely, his heart hammering against his ribs. He felt angry and hurt that his Mother had gone behind his back to a stranger, even though part of him knew that she was only trying to help.

“Nothing other than that you were dealing with some problems that I might be able to help with and that you have a hard time opening up to people. I can completely understand that. It took me a long time to finally stop hurting myself and start talking about what had happened to me.”

Once again, her words cut into him, seeming to lay bare all of the secrets that Max tried so hard to keep hidden from everyone except Liz. Swallowing heavily against his fear, he forced himself to look into the eyes of the compassionate woman sitting in front of him and he suddenly saw, not a stranger, but a kindred soul. Another person who knew how he felt. Even more so, his life had not nearly been as bad as hers, and yet here she sat, whole and seemingly completely happy within herself. Max suddenly wanted desperately to hear how she had managed to overcome the horror of her life.

“How…..I mean…..did you…..?” Max couldn’t seem to get the question out, but Marsha once again seemed to know what he wanted to hear.

“I met someone…..someone who was doing what I do now at this shelter and other shelters. I had been arrested and a compassionate judge, instead of putting me in juvenile detention, sent me to a shelter much like this one to do community service. The woman running the place…..” Marsha smiled a rueful smile. “Let’s just say she was exactly what I needed. Tough but fair. Her name was Lyla and she’d been helping runaway girls and victims of domestic abuse for a long time.”

“Lyla took me under her wing and showed me that I was worth something. She showed me that I didn’t have to keep punishing myself for things that weren’t my fault. It took a while. I was very much in denial. I was sure that I had done something to deserve all of the bad things that had happened to me otherwise, why had they happened? It took a lot of love and attention from the people around me to make me realize that I could be a worthwhile person.”

Tears clogged Max’s throat as he listened to Marsha’s account of her experience. Her words seemed to speak to his soul. As he looked up at her, she seemed to know that he was struggling and she smiled compassionately.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to Max. I’m a stranger to you and I know from experience that it’s very hard to let someone into your own private world of pain. But if you want to, I can listen.”

Sitting silently, Max felt fear and humiliation like a lump in his chest, but he suddenly wanted to talk to this woman who’d been through such an ordeal and lived through it to become this wonderful, compassionate person.

“I….was….r…..” Max stopped on the word, unable to say it out loud, even now. He’d admitted it to himself, but saying it out loud, especially to a stranger…he just couldn’t do it. He swallowed and tried again.

“I was….a girl who I knew….she…..forced me…..to….have sex with her.”

There. He’d said it. Stealing a glance up into Marsha’s eyes, he only saw compassion and patience as he struggled to speak. Haltingly, Max told her about Tess and what she’d done. He omitted the alien parts, not really telling her the how, just telling her the events, from the time that Tess left up until a few weeks ago when he’d finally gone back to The Observatory. When he spoke about his son, tears welled in his eyes, and he wiped at them, trying not to break down. And finally he told her about Liz and how she’d helped him and loved him through all of it, and how their friends and his family had been there to support him.

When he was through, Max felt drained, as though he’d been walking through a snow storm to find shelter. His body felt limp and his eyes felt hollow in their sockets. He fought not to lay his head on the table and close his eyes.

“Liz and your friends sound like wonderful people. You’re very lucky to have them in your life.”

“I know,” Max said. He knew how incredibly lucky he was that his family and especially Liz hadn’t given up on him.

“You said that you’ve been depressed and you don’t understand why.” Marsha leaned forward to look him in the eyes. “Max, you’ve been through an unbelievable ordeal. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to lose your son that way.” She sat back, sighing pensively. “Coming to grips with what happened doesn’t automatically make it go away. It’s a step, but it’s completely natural to feel sad, angry and yes, depressed. It may take weeks, months or even years to get over some of things you’ve gone through. You have to give yourself a break.”

As Max contemplated her words, Marsha deliberated for a second then decided to forge ahead. “Can I ask you a personal question? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Max nodded hesitantly, afraid of what she might want him to reveal. It had been extremely hard already to open up this way to someone he barely knew, but so far, he had not regretted it.

“Okay. Have you and Liz….had sex since this happened?”

Watching Max’s face pale at her question, Marsha knew the answer already. She’d suspected as much while Max was talking but she wanted to confirm it before she went on. “That’s okay. Don’t answer. I can guess. Let me ask something else. Were you deliberately waiting because of moral or religious reasons or is it because of what’s happened to you?”

Max swallowed, avoiding her gaze as he forced himself to answer. “Liz…we.….want to but…..I……” He shook his head, unable to go on. This was excruciatingly embarrassing.

“Okay. That’s alright.” Marsha soothed him with her voice, seeing how difficult it was for him to admit this to her. Her heart went out to this handsome, tormented young man who had lived through so much in his short life. It made her want to be able to help him even more.

“Max, rape is a terrible thing in itself. But when it’s done by someone you know, someone you trust, like a family member or a friend, it can be doubly devastating. How can you ever learn to trust again, when you’ve been betrayed so badly?”

The words brought back Tess’s treachery and betrayal, and Max felt his stomach tighten. He looked at Marsha, waiting for her to continue when she lifted her hand to push back a strand of hair and he noticed for the first time, the wedding ring on her left hand. Marsha saw where he was looking and smiled.

“Yes, I’m married. For many wonderful years to a handsome, stubborn, completely frustrating man who, like Liz, wouldn’t give up on me. Even when I tried to push him away. And believe me, I put him through hell before I finally gave in.”

“I trust Liz.” Max said truthfully, but the hopelessness of the situation reasserted itself. He did trust her, so why did he keep hesitating?

“That may be, but obviously there’s something still holding you back. Something you’re not dealing with.”

Max glanced away from her perceptive gaze, his eyes desolate. He couldn’t tell her about the alien bonding process or how Tess’s violation had tainted his purity for his mate. Instead he said,

“How did you…..I mean…..I want to be with Liz. I don’t know how to get over these feelings.”

Marsha took a deep breath. “I can only tell you how it was for me, Max. I can’t give you the perfect answer.”

Max nodded, anxious to hear what she was going to say.

“Okay, well, the main thing is….you have to forgive yourself. You have to not only realize that it wasn’t your fault, but you have to actually look deep inside yourself and know it. I had to take a serious look at my life and realize that I’d been a victim of other people’s madness, Max. That the choices I made at the time were the only ones I knew how and that looking back and saying “what if” or “if only” was not going to change anything. I did the best I could with what I had to deal with.”

Feeling a tingling feeling in his gut, Max felt her words in his soul, touching his spirit.

“I told you that my husband is a wonderful, patient man and he is. For a long time, emotionally, I was dead. And I was sure that physically, I would never feel passion or joy from a man. I had never been touched with love or respect and I thought it had tainted me forever.” Marsha smiled sadly, her eyes suddenly taking on a sheen of tears.

“But my Robert is nothing if not persistent and he wore down my resistance until I finally had to make a choice. I realized that the longer I held on to my past, the more of my future I was wasting. Every time I let the things that had happened to me stop me from doing what I wanted, whether it was loving emotionally or physically, I was letting my Uncle win. He was long since out of my life, but I was still letting him run it. I was still letting him ruin it.” Marsha crossed her legs as she sat back. “Once I realized that, I knew what I had to do.”

Max was leaning forward with his arms resting on the table, his gaze unseeing. His body was trembling in reaction to the things her words made him feel. Fear….longing….hope….

“And finally, I decided that I had to give something back. So many people had helped me, I knew I had to be able to help others who’d been victimized the way I was. So, I went to school and volunteered and learned what I needed to know, with Lyla’s help of course, and here I am.”

She watched Max struggling to absorb what she was saying and after a moment of silence, Marsha sighed and uncrossed her legs leaning forward one more time, causing Max to lift his eyes to her face. “I’m not saying it happened overnight or that it was easy, Max, but I will tell you this. Once I made the decision, I’ve never regretted it. Not for a moment. Anything worth having is worth fighting for.” She sat up and picked up her almost empty soda to finish it, letting him ruminate on her words.

Sitting up himself after a few moments, Max looked at the woman in front of him, a slight smile on her face as she watched him. He wished he could tell her all of the things he was feeling, but his normal reticence was returning and he felt uncomfortable all of the sudden.

“It’s okay, Max.” Marsha’s smile widened at the discomfiture on his face.

“No….I….thank you. For talking to me.” Max finally managed to untie his tongue long enough to at least show her his gratitude.

“No problem. I hope it helped some. And I owed you and your Mom. We couldn’t have gotten the place ready so quickly without you.”

Smiling, Marsha rose from her chair, and Max did the same. “You can go anytime you’re ready. I think we’re almost done.”

Max shook his head. “I just have to finish moving those boxes out.”

“Okay.” Marsha held out her hand and Max took it. “Thanks again for helping out, Max, and good luck. Remember,” Marsha leaned forward, looking at him sincerely, “Liz is one lucky girl.” She smiled at the color that came into his cheeks at her words. Letting go of his hand, she left the room.

Working on autopilot, Max finished moving the boxes he’d packed, then went to the washroom to clean up and drive home. His thoughts were turned inward as he completed these tasks, Marsha’s words resonating within him.

Mrs. Evans was just returning from shopping when she heard Max’s car in the driveway. Her heart pounded a little faster, not sure of the reception she'd get from her son after setting him up today, but if it helped, then she would gladly face his anger with her.

Which is why she couldn’t have been more surprised when he came in the door, appeared in the kitchen and looked at her for a moment before smiling at her. An actual, heart stopping half-smile that lit his eyes and caused the dimples in his lean cheeks to peep out.

“Thanks, Mom,” was all he said, but Diane didn’t care. As Max disappeared up the stairs, she leaned against the counter, grateful tears gathering in her eyes and running slowly down her cheeks.

Thank God.


TBC.........

Hey kiddies! I'm back. Thank you so much for all of your comments. It really means a lot to me because it was a difficult chapter to write and I wanted it to be good because it was important to the story as I'm sure you can guess. You're all so generous and it really makes the effort worth while.

Thank you to Liz who stayed up late after her trip to look at this for me. Love you, Babe. Although she said I'm leaving you with another cliffy, but I don't think you're going to be too disappointed. Let me know.


Everything to You Part 86


Max looked impatiently out the window as he sat waiting. People were still getting into their seats and he glanced at his watch, wondering how much longer it was going to be. He looked down at the book in his lap, opened to the same page for the last twenty minutes, but he couldn’t concentrate on it. His mind kept drifting back over the last couple of weeks.


They were walking through the grass, Maria’s arms linked to his and Michael’s as she walked between them.

When they came to Zan’s grave, Maria knelt down to remove the old flowers in the vase beside the stone and replace them with the fresh ones she’d brought. She arranged the new ones, then stood up, standing quietly for a few moments. Glancing over at Max, she saw that he was gazing at his son’s headstone, his hand in his pockets, an unreadable expression on his face. After another few moments of silence, Maria walked over and gave Max a small hug, which he returned with one arm around her waist.

“We’ll be with Alex if you need us.” Maria didn’t know exactly why Max had wanted to come here, but she knew that whatever the reason, he needed to be alone for it.

Max nodded, watching as his friends walked away toward Alex’s plot. His gaze returning to Zan’s headstone, Max sat down next to it, leaning against the side in a familiar position, wishing Liz were here to help him through this.

He’d had several long discussions with her since the day at the women’s shelter. Of course, he’d told her about Marsha and the things she’d said to him, and Liz had listened as he’d tried to sort out his feelings.


“She’s right Max. You have to forgive yourself.”

“I know,” Max answered, “but it’s not that simple.” And truly it wasn’t. Hearing Marsha talk about her painful past and how she’d rebuilt her life had given Max a sense of hope that he hadn’t had in a long time, but as he’d thought about her words, his doubts returned to haunt him.

He might now accept the fact that he hadn’t deserved what Tess did to him, but that didn’t relieve him of his sense of responsibility for all of the other things she’d done. In his head, Max knew that he, Michael and Isabel had not been prepared for Tess’s superior powers, but in his heart, he still felt the weight of guilt for allowing her into their lives and for the havoc she’d wrought. Max didn’t think he would ever be able to forgive himself for Alex’s death.

“Max, we promised we weren’t going to do this. I’m as much to blame for…..”

“No Liz, you’re not.” Max cut her off, only to hear her sigh with exasperation.

“Then if I’m not allowed to blame myself, then you aren’t either.”

Max didn’t answer her, but Liz knew that he disagreed.

“Max, tell me again what she said about forgiving herself. What were her exact words?”

“She said that she had been a victim of other people’s madness. That she realized that the choices she made at the time were the only ones she knew how to make and that looking back and saying “what if” or “if only” was not going to change.....” Max trailed off, suddenly realizing what Liz was getting at.

“Exactly. We can’t change the past, Max. And even if we could, your future self tried that once and it made everything worse. Both of us made choices to do the things we did and it turned out that we were wrong, but we can’t change them. You did the best you could, Max. You have to learn to accept it.”


Giving Liz’s words some serious thought, Max spent the next week thinking back over the events of the last years, and he found himself doing the soul searching that Marsha had suggested. It had been hard, but as he’d dwelled on his life and the decisions that he’d made, he came to some painful….and cathartic conclusions.

Sighing, Max moved around to the front of the headstone, his eyes tracing his son’s name.

“I came here....” Max began, feeling the sting of emotion in the back of throat, “because I needed....to tell you some things.”

“First off, I know you probably know this but....I didn’t love your Mother. She....I know she was a good mother to you but.....she....wasn’t a nice person.” Max grimaced a little at the understatement and felt the familiar tightening in his chest that always accompanied thoughts of Tess.

“She hated me, Zan.” Max whispered. “I tried to be her friend.....I tried to give her a family but....she only wanted one thing from me....and I couldn’t give it to her so....she took it by force.” His breath hitched a little as the pain of this admission unfurled in his belly. Forcing himself not to let his emotions get out of control, Max continued.

“Most of me wishes that she had never come here.” Thinking about Liz, Max felt the knot loosen just a little. “Before she came, I was the happiest I’d ever been and she.....” Stopping to swallow back the lump in his throat, Max couldn’t finish that sentence. Instead, he moved on.

“But.....a small part of me.....the part of me that belongs to you.....doesn’t feel that way. If not for her, I would have never known you.....and I can’t be sorry for that.”

Max wiped at the moisture in his eyes and took a deep breath. “And now I have Liz back and she loves me and I realize that....I’ve been letting everything that’s happened hold me back from having that happiness again. It’s been there for the taking...right in front of me and I couldn’t see it.....but now.....I think I’m ready.”

Taking another deep breath, Max rose to his knees, his hand resting on the headstone, picturing his little boy’s face in front of him. The lump in his throat was still there, making his voice thick as he said the words he needed to say.

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t save you..... but I did the best I could. I know you didn’t blame me for not saving you because I felt it when we said goodbye, but I’ve been blaming myself and.....it’s time to stop.”

Tears dripped down his nose as he knelt with a bent head, but Max ignored them as he tried to let go of the past. “I’ll miss you forever and I’ll always wish that we could have been a family.....but I know it wasn’t meant to be. There was nothing I could do to change that. I’ll always love you...but I have to move on now.”

His heart was heavy as he knelt there, but as Max repeated the words to himself, he felt a small glimmer of peace steal into his soul. Letting out his breath, he was afraid that the sensation would go away, but it didn’t.

Max lifted his head and looked up at the sky, the breeze chilling the tear tracks on his face, but he didn’t mind…………


Sitting now, Max could still feel the peace he felt that day as he tried to release some of the guilt that had weighed him down for so long. After saying goodbye to Zan, he’d gone to join Michael and Maria at Alex’s grave.


Wiping at the tears in her eyes, Maria got up from where she knelt next to Alex’s headstone. She felt Michael’s hand under her elbow and gratefully allowed him to help her, then stepped into the arm he slid around her shoulder.

Sensing someone approaching, Maria turned and saw Max. She turned back and stood in the shelter of Michael’s embrace, her heart heavy with sadness. Every time she came here, she wondered if it would be easier, but so far, it wasn’t. She missed her friend so much.

As Max stepped up beside them, Maria glanced over at him.

“Did you get done what you needed to do?”

“Yeah.”

Max’s face was somber as he stared at Alex’s headstone and Maria knew what he was feeling.

“Alex wouldn’t have blamed you, Max.”

The look Max gave her said it all and Maria gave a slight shake of her head, unsurprised. Since her recent experience at The Observatory, while being connected to Max through Michael, she was acutely aware that his overdeveloped sense of guilt would not allow him to stand here without feeling guilty about Alex.

“Alex was never sorry he knew the secret no matter how much danger we were in because he cared about Isabel. Just like Liz because she loves you and me because of Michael.”

Max turned to face her. “Can I have a few minutes alone....here?”

“Sure.” Maria took Michael’s arm and the two of them slowly made their way back toward the car, Maria taking a moment to touch two fingers to her lips and place them on Alex’s gravestone as they walked by.

Hunkering down on one knee, Max stared at Alex’s name much like he’d done with Zan’s. He pictured him in his mind, seeing him dancing with Isabel in Las Vegas and covered with goo after he and Kyle were trapped in the hole with the Gandarium. His spirit never seemed to waver, and Max had secretly envied his positive outlook when things seemed grim.

“I guess...I just wanted to say....thank you....for...saving my life. And for...being our friend....and for bringing out the best in my sister.” Max sighed, reaching down to play with a dead blade of grass. “I never told you how much I appreciated you being there for us.....and for Liz.”

“And I wanted to say...I’m sorry.” The words were so inadequate, but Max tried to convey his feelings as best he could. “If I had known what she was doing to you.....” He stopped, taking a deep breath, reminding himself once again of Marsha’s and Liz’s words.

“I can’t change what’s happened. But I want you to know that...I would have given my life for you....and that I’ll protect Liz and Maria....and Isabel.... as best I can. It’s a promise.”

Standing up, Max put his hands in his pockets, gazing down at his friend’s grave. As he turned to leave, his thoughts were suddenly on Liz. He reached out to her, and closing his eyes, he felt her answering response to his need. She loved him....she missed him....she wanted to be with him......


He’d gone home after that and called her almost immediately. They’d talked for a moment about school then he’d told her about his visit to the cemetery.


“I really wish I could have been there with you,” Liz said, meaning it. Even across the miles, he was letting her feel how hard it had been for him to admit those things, and how much he’d needed her there. But she could also feel how it had lightened his spirit and her heart rejoiced for him...with him.

“Me too. I have....a question for you.”

“Okay.” Liz’s heartbeat quickened at the slight tremor in his voice and the abrupt lessening in their connection.

“How would you feel.....if I came to visit over the President’s Day Holiday?”

“Oh my God, really? You want to come?” Liz asked with excitement. “Wait a minute. I don’t have that off. Do you?”

“Yeah. But it’s okay. I’ll come on Friday since I don’t have any classes and I’ll leave Monday.”

“I only have an early class on Friday so that will work. Oh my God, I’m so excited! I can’t wait! That’s only a week! I’m going to see you in a week! We can look at apartments. I’ve been looking in the paper and.......”

Her excitement communicated itself vividly to Max and he couldn’t help the smile that etched itself across his lips. He was excited too.


And nervous as hell.

Max looked up as the captain’s voice finally came across the speaker for the flight attendants to take their seats for departure and he found himself holding his breath a little as they taxied toward the runway. When they finally lifted off, he blew out a long breath, his stomach somersaulting.

He was on his way to Illinois. He was on his way to see Liz.

But that wasn’t the only reason he was nervous. He was nervous because of what he hadn’t told her.

Closing his eyes, Max tried to control the need to get up and pace in the confines of the plane. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to have a full-blown panic attack.

No. No….he could do this. Opening his eyes, he looked at the fluffy clouds outside the window, willing himself to be calm.

She would be happy. Max took a deep breath. He knew that she would be happy…ecstatic actually. And he was happy about it too…it was just……

No. He’d made the decision and deep down he knew it was the right one. Max sighed, forcing himself to relax against the seat when he realized that he was sitting tensely forward, staring out the window. Thank God this flight wasn’t full so he didn’t have to talk to anyone.

“Would you like a beverage, sir?” The flight attendant’s voice had his head snapping around and Max stared at her blankly for a moment.

“A beverage, sir?” The flight attendant said politely, used to having to repeat herself.

“Um….. a Coke please.”

The woman smiled and poured his drink, handing him a packet of pretzels and a napkin before rolling forward.

Max sipped the drink, leaving the pretzels for later.

What had he been thinking about? Oh yeah….his stomach clenched once more as his thoughts dragged him back in, but he reminded himself of his conversation with Martha on the phone a few days ago.


“I…thank you for calling me back.”

“Of course, Max. What did you want to talk about?” Marsha’s voice was soothing and Max felt himself relax just a little.

“I’ve.....I think I’ve made.... a decision. The....the decision....you were talking about.”

“That’s wonderful. Do you want to tell me what it is?”

“I.....quit school.”

There was a slight pause, then Marsha’s voice came back a little perplexed. “Okay.”

“I mean.....Liz and I had decided that I was going to go and join her at school at the end of the semester here, but....I decided to quit and go sooner.”

“Oh. And you haven’t told Liz yet?’

“Um....no. I was....she’s expecting me to visit over the holiday and I was going to tell her then. You know....surprise her.”

“I’m sure it will. So.....” there was an expectant pause.

Max sat down on his bed gripping the phone in a tight fist. “I’m......scared.”

He’d said it. Max let out a trembling breath.

“That’s perfectly natural. Can I ask what made you decide to do this?”

Pausing for a moment to fortify himself, Max told her about his cathartic trip to the cemetery and how he’d been doing the soul searching she’d talked about. Just as she’d told him, it had made him realize that he was putting his life on hold and that the guilt and pain he was carrying around were holding him back from being happy.

“I want Liz to be happy. She’s waited long enough for me.”

“What about what you want?” Marsha’s voice was soft, but it hit its projected target right on the nose.

“I......” Max swallowed at the break in his voice and tried again. “I..... want to be happy too.” Relief made him slightly weak as he realized that he actually meant it.

“And what makes you happy?”

“Liz.”

“Then it sounds like you’ve made the right decision. I told you before that it wasn’t easy and it won’t happen overnight, so don’t let fear stop you, Max. Making the decision is half the battle. Living it is the other half. Let Liz help you with that and you’ll make it just fine.”



He would make it just fine. Max held his cup tensely, wishing he could believe that with his whole heart, but his fear was a strong antagonist. And without being able to really let Liz in this week, it had been doubly hard to be optimistic. He’d kept their connection at a low boil since he’d told her about coming so she wouldn’t know what he was planning.


“So, you’re just going to drop everything and move out there. Right now?” Maria asked incredulously as they had lunch at the CrashDown.

“No. In a couple of weeks. I still have work and school to tie up and I have to get my stuff packed, but....”

“But you’re still going out there this weekend?”

“Yeah. I’m going to surprise her and tell her when I get there.”

“She’ll be surprised alright. She’ll be ecstatic. I think that’s great. She’ll be so happy.”

He looked up at Michael who was still silently picking at his fries. Feeling Max’s eyes on him, Michael looked at his friend and finally quirked his lips.

“Go for it Maxwell.”

Max smiled a little, their encouragement giving him strength, and he let the excitement of it overshadow his fear for the moment.

“I am.....”


So here he was, going for it. Max glanced at his watch again. The time seemed to be dragging by but he honestly didn’t know if that was good or bad. Probably a little of both, he decided. Bad because he couldn’t wait to see Liz and good because once he was there, he would have to commit one hundred percent to the decision he’d made. He wouldn’t be able to hide it from her anymore.

At least he’d managed to get an earlier flight than he’d planned. Another surprise for Liz. She thought he was coming in on the late flight, so she wasn’t expecting him to be there until after 11:00 PM.

Picturing her in his mind, Max imagined her face lighting up when she saw him at her dorm room door, feeling her sweet form plastered against him as she kissed the daylights out of him, hearing her husky voice telling him how much she’d missed him…how much she loved him…..

Okay, he suddenly wished time would speed up. Finally relaxing back in his seat, Max let the sweet images in his mind occupy and sooth him as the miles sped by…..

Wow, all of you are so wonderful. I appreciate your comments so much. It makes writing this so worth while. Thank you. And of course thank you to Liz, my lovely beta.

So, Um....on with the next part.

Everything to You Part 87

Liz glanced at the clock on the wall, a small frown etching her brow when she saw that it was only a few minutes since she’d last looked at it. Was this class lasting longer than usual or was it just her imagination? Not that she normally found English Lit a barrel of laughs, but it just seemed to be dragging especially long today.

And it was still at least twelve hours until she got to see Max. One would think after weeks, that twelve hours would be a piece of cake, but time had seemingly ground to a halt the closer it got to his arrival time. She wanted to see him…to touch him….to hear his sexy voice telling her he loved her….to feel his lips on hers. Glancing around, Liz’s face grew warm and her body tingled as her thoughts took her in the usual direction they did whenever she got distracted.

Maxland.

Her mind conjured up his face….the way his eyes took on that sensual gleam right before he kissed her…..the way his cheeks flushed and his lips reddened when she kissed him. She could almost feel his hands on her body, sometimes tender and restrained, sometimes desperate and urgent, making her crave his touch more and more. Shifting in her chair, Liz looked down at her desk, unable to keep the smile from her lips as she thought about her love.

Speaking to him on the phone last night, she’d thought he sounded nervous, but Max had assured her that he was just as excited about coming to see her as she was about seeing him. And she believed him. She attributed his nervousness to his reluctance to be closed in for a long period of time with strangers, and his general anxiety these days about anything unfamiliar. But Liz knew he could handle it. He was stronger now and she’d promised to make it worth his while when he got there. She could hear the smile in his voice when he told her he would take her up on that promise.

Thinking about that, Liz wondered what this trip could mean for them. Was Max ready to take the next step in their relationship? He hadn’t really given any indication one way or the other, but his willingness to travel back there to see her made her think that maybe he was. Shifting again in her seat as her body reacted to the thought, Liz tried not to get her hopes up.

The trauma of facing his fears at The Observatory was only a few weeks past and she knew he was still dealing with the aftermath of acknowledging the truth of Tess’s assault, not to mention the whole Antarian purity issue.

But on the other hand, the strides he’d made the last few weeks in letting go of some of the baggage he’d been carrying around were a miracle really. And the sense of hope and peace she’d heard in his voice and felt through their connection had tears coming to her eyes and thankfulness filling her heart.

In fact, Liz had actually called Mrs. Evans to thank her for her interference and for introducing Max to Marsha. Commiserating over their mutual relief that Max had allowed someone to help him, Liz was once again moved by how much Max’s parents loved their adopted children and how lucky he was that the Evanses had embraced their differences.

She had also found herself calling Marsha to thank her as well. As she listened to the older woman speak, Liz could see why she had been so helpful to Max.


“Max seems like a wonderful person and it was a pleasure to talk with him. If I helped some, then I’m grateful.”

“You really did. You have no idea.....well, I guess you do actually....but it’s been so hard on him. If you had known him before this happened.....I just.....” Liz had to stop as unbidden tears came to her throat.

“It’s okay. I understand. It’s hard to watch someone you love go through so much and to feel so helpless. You want to make it all go away and you can’t. It’s almost as hard on the victims’ loved ones as it is on the victims themselves.” Marsha’s voice came soothingly across the line as Liz pulled herself together. “But from what Max told me about you, I think he’s one very lucky young man.”

Liz shook her head. “I didn’t.....I mean....”

Marsha’s small chuckle interrupted Liz’s protest. “Don’t sell yourself short, Liz. Whether you realize it or not, you’ve done exactly what Max needed you to do. You’ve been there to support and comfort him, to listen to him, and to love him unconditionally. Believe me, a lot of people don’t have that sort of foundation when they go through this sort of thing. Yes, therapy and counseling help, but the loving support of a family and friends....and a person who loves them like you love Max...can make all the difference.

“Thank you.....”


Suddenly the students around her were closing their books and Liz looked up at the clock to see that class was almost over. Finally. Guiltily realizing she hadn’t heard a word that the professor had said, Liz got up from her chair and put her book in her bag, pulling her cell phone out to see if she had any messages, but there weren’t any.

“Hey there you. Was it my imagination or were you somewhere far, far away during that lecture?”

Liz turned to her roommate, Megan, who shared this and one other class with her. “Why? Did I look….spaced out?” A rueful smiled curved Liz’s lip at the secret pun. God, she was getting giddy.

“Let’s just say you weren’t your usual attentive self. Thinking about someone?” Megan teased, smiling at the blush that rose in Liz’s cheeks. “A certain dark haired hunk of a guy whose supposed to be here in…..”

“Eleven hours, give or take,” Liz finished for her, sighing.

“Counting the minutes, are we? I can’t say I blame you. If I had a guy who looked like that coming to spend the weekend with me, I wouldn’t have even bothered with class.”

Liz grimaced. “I more or less didn’t. Did he assign homework?” She gestured surreptitiously at their professor.

“Oh boy, you really were gone, girl. Yeah, he did.” Megan pulled out her notes and Liz wrote down their homework assignment. Luckily, she more or less had a grasp of what they were doing and didn’t need much help.

“Thanks,” she said, handing Megan back her notes. The two girls gathered their things and left the classroom.

“So I’ll just find somewhere else to be tonight,” Megan said, smiling as Liz blushed again.

“You don’t have to do that,” Liz said.

“Are you kidding? How long has it been again? You two will definitely need some privacy. I know I would.”

“No, it’s really okay. Max is getting a hotel room so…..”

“Oh. Even better. Lucky you. I probably won’t be around anyway, but at least I know I can come back if I want to.” Megan grinned at the look Liz gave her.

As they strolled down the hallway toward the door to the outside, a man carrying a mop bucket suddenly came from one of the classrooms and Liz barely stopped in time to keep from running over him. As it was, dirty mop water splashed over the sides of the bucket, onto her shoes and down the front of the man’s clothes.

“Oh! Sorry….” Liz sidestepped the man, whom she recognized as the maintenance man she’d seen around campus. Surveying her shoes with a grimace and seeing his wet clothes, she was about to apologize again when her cell phone went off. Pulling it quickly from her bag, she smiled when she saw who it was and distractedly moved away from the man to speak.

“Max. Where are you?”

“Getting ready to leave in a couple of hours. Where are you?”

“Just getting out of class, although I might as well have not gone for all the attention I paid. I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me too. Just wanted to check in.”

Liz smiled dreamily, eliciting a giggle from her roommate. She stuck her tongue out at her and turned her back.

“Are you going to the hotel first, or are you coming here?”

“I thought I’d come there first, then we could go over together.”

“Good. I wish it was already time.”

“Me too. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Okay,” Liz said, sighing in resignation. Not really unhappy, just impatient. . “I love you.”

“I love you too. Bye.”

“Bye.”

“Later, Goodlookin’,” Megan yelled toward the phone as Liz clicked off. Liz laughed, taking a half-hearted swipe at her while glancing around, remembering the poor janitor she’d run into. He must have left.

“Ah, young love. It’s so sweet.” Megan said, slinging her arm around Liz’s shoulders, making her laugh as they headed toward the door.

****************

He watched from his hiding place as the two girls laughed, strolling carefree and silly out into the crisp air, licking his lips as he gazed at them, even as hatred gleamed in his eyes.

They always thought they were so above him. All of them, these college girls who preened and flaunted themselves in front of the boys on campus, batting their eyelashes and swaying their hips. Wearing those next to nothing clothes and parading their bare stomachs and young breasts for anyone to gape at.

They were sluts, all of them.

His Mama had been right. They were all just Satan’s daughters, waiting to temp any man into damnation with their wicked ways, but he was immune. Yes he was. He saw right through them, just as they’d seen right through him. Hadn’t even glanced his way after she’d knocked dirty mop water all over him. Thought she was too good for him.

They all did. But he saw. And he knew. They just needed to be taught a lesson. Just like them other girls. He’d taught them real good. They’d been real sorry when he was through with them.

They’d begged.

Unconscionable heat unfurled in his belly, making him sick and excited at the same time and he reached down to touch his suddenly hardened penis.

“Dirty...foul...disgusting. You were touching yourself weren’t you?”

“No Mama!”

“You’re a dirty sinner.”

“I swear, Mama.....I wasn’t....

“I don’t believe you. You’re disgusting. Now go in that room and pull down your pants. I’ll show you how dirty little boys are treated......”


He cringed as his hand tightened over the hardness.

It was their fault. They made him sinful. They made him want to do things that Mama said was wrong.

Tonight.

Tonight he would wait and he would watch. It’d been too long. He’d bided his time long enough.

It didn’t matter who. The girls on this campus were the same as the girls on all of the other campus’s he’d worked at. Not a one of them had any decency or morals. He could see it, just like his Mama had beaten into him when he’d looked out the window at the little girls in his neighborhood. No good whores, tempting him into sin. It was all their fault.

Unbuttoning his pants, he started to stroke himself.

They just needed to be taught a lesson.

TBC.....

Sylvia ducks as computer parts come flying her way. Blame Liz. She said it was okay to leave it there. (Sorry Lizzy.) Slinking away now.....