Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 5:11 pm
Sorry for the delay but RL has been really hectic and we got a really bad snowatorm we have been digging out of. So here is the next part. Hope you like it.
Part 35
Maria played Michael some of the songs she had written that had been recorded by various artists on their ride home from the restaurant.
As Michael listened to the music he realized that most of the songs had a sad melancholy feel to them. They were about lost love, love that was torn away, betrayal and love that had been a seed waiting to grow but had been killed by the cold. Michael could imagine the inspiration for each of the songs he heard, Liz, Kyle Alex and of course Maria herself.
The last song they had heard was sung by a country artist. While not normally Michael’s type of music the words of the song captivated him. The song was about a mother telling her daughter about her father and how much he loved them even though he had to go away. Michael had to try very hard to not cry as the words filtered through his mind. Not a sound was spoken as the last few notes filled the car.
A lump had formed in Michael’s throat and he could not find his voice. Maria just continued to drive letting him absorb the songs he had heard. She knew that some of it would be difficult for him but her songs were apart of her and she wanted him to know every part of her.
They drove in silence until she pulled into the drive of her house. Before they got out he reached over and grabbed her hand. She looked up and their eyes met.
“I always knew that you were talented Maria but… Those songs were amazing.”
She gave him a smile. “Thank You.”
After the brief exchange they had gotten out of the car and were now in the living room.
“Can I get you anything?” Maria asked as they sat in silence for a few moments.
“Do you have a beer?”
Maria frowned.
“Do you think that’s such a good idea? I thought you aliens couldn’t handle your liquor. I don’t need my living room lighting up like the fourth of July”
Michael smiled.
“Apparently it’s only Max who can’t hold his liquor.”
Maria looked at Michael confused.
“Alcohol it seems isn’t exclusive to earth. They have it on Antar too. Antarians drink it all the time without a problem. Max for some reason just can’t. I however am fine.”
Maria began to laugh.
“What’s so funny? You don’t think I can hold my liquor?”
Maria responded through bursts of laughter.
“No, it’s not that. It’s just that little bit of info about Max has always pissed Kyle off. Every time he would get drunk he would blame Max for lowering his alcohol tolerance. And Liz hasn’t even ever had a drink, all because Max is a lightweight.”
Michael had to admit that was kind of funny and joined in with her laughter.
Once she had composed herself she went and got a beer for Michael and got herself a glass of white wine. She set them down in front of Michael and then walked over to the large book shelf in the room. She pulled out a white leather book and brought it over to Michael and handed to him.
Michael looked at her confused.
“What is this?”
“That is Mikayla’s first scrapbook. I have documented ever moment of her life.”
Michael didn’t say a word. He just opened the front cover. There was a large full page picture of Mikayla when she was first born. Tears immediately sprang to his eyes.
She was perfect, beautiful.
“That was taken right after her first bath. She was so pink and soft. Alex snapped that right as I wrapped her in the towel.”
Michael again felt that jealous pang. It should have been him who took that picture.
After a few more moments running his finger over the photo he turned the page to find a picture of his daughter in her mother’s womb.
“How?” He asked as he ran his fingers over the image.
“We broke in to the radiology department in the Las Cruses Hospital. Liz read the manual of the ultrasound machine and we got the picture. We wanted to make sure that everything appeared normal.”
Underneath the ultrasound photo was a picture of Maria on a table holding Alex and Kyle’s hands.
Michael turned the page again and there were pictures of Maria at different stages of her pregnancy.
Maria pointed at the last one. It was one of three labeled ninth month.
“I was in my twelfth month in that picture. I told you that I looked like a whale. There is a reason that human pregnancies are only 9 months. No one should have to be pregnant that long.”
“You looked beautiful Maria.”
“You have to say that I was carrying your daughter.” She laughed.
The next few pages contained pictures of Mikayla’s birth. Then there were pictures of everyone with the baby.
Michael wished that he could go back in time. He wished he could hold his little girl in his arms, feel tiny fingers curl around his own. He realized as he flipped through that scrapbook of the first year of his daughter’s life that he had missed so much. He had known of course but this made it real. He saw these memories frozen in time, memories he would and could never be a part of and it wounded his soul.
As they looked through the book Maria would fill in the picture with a story. She wanted Michael to be a part of this part of Mikayla’s life even if he hadn’t been there.
The last page was a picture of a one year old Mikayla covered in icing and cake from her first birthday cake.
They both laughed at the photo. Then Michael set the book down on the coffee table.
“Thank You Maria. I missed so much of her life. I don’t want to miss anymore.”
“You won’t. There are plenty more where that came from.”
They spent much of the rest of the night talking about Maria and Mikayla’s life while he was gone but nothing about him and what had happened while he was gone.
Finally Maria asked him.
“Michael, we have spent the night talking about my life in the last five years what about you? What happened on Antar?”
A look of sadness passed across his face and then his eyes got dark.
“Maria… I don’t think that I can talk about it.”
Maria felt a knife stab her heart. Why should she be surprised? Michael had opened up to her truly only twice in their whole relationship. Why did she think this would be any different?
Michael saw the look of hurt that passed across her face.
“Maria its not that I don’t…”
“No, it’s ok Michael. I shouldn’t have asked. You know it’s getting late. We have to pick up Mikayla in the morning. I better get some rest.”
“Maria…” He tried to stop her from going.
“Good night Michael.” She said without looking back at him and giving him the opportunity to persuade her to stay. She had to start protecting herself. If Michael was going to be a part of Mikayla’s life she couldn’t let their relationship be volatile. That would destroy her daughter and she wouldn’t allow her to be hurt.
She went to her room and took a shower leaving Michael in the living room alone with his thoughts. She let the spray of the shower head drown her feelings away. It had been such a wonderful evening and then she had pushed to hard and now she didn’t know where they stood.
She got out of the shower and put on her comfort pj’s. They were soft and warm and always made her feel safe. She sat in front of her vanity and combed her hair. She felt as if she were in high school again. The same thoughts running through her head: “Where did she stand with Michael Guerin?”
She finished with her nightly routine and climbed into her bed. She was about to doze off when a light knock on her door startled her.
She wondered what she should do. It could only be one person. Should she pretend to be asleep? She didn’t know what to do. Finally she decided to open it.
There standing before her was Michael. A weird sense of Deja vu came over her. He had the same tortured pleading look he had the night he had come to her window so many years ago. Resistance was futile. She couldn’t resist him then and she couldn’t now.
“Can I come in?” He asked her.
She opened the door wider to allow him access to the room. He walked in and she shut it behind him.
“Michael…” She began but he cut her off.
Tears filled his eyes. “Maria, it’s not that I don’t want to… The things I’ve seen, experienced… I don’t want…” Tears were running down his face.
Maria placed her finger over his lip to silence him. She could see that he was in pain. It didn’t matter that he didn’t tell her about what happened these past five years. What mattered to her was that he had come to her when he needed comfort.
The tears continued to roll down his face as they stood there staring in to each others eyes. Maria took his hand in hers. She led him to her bed and pulled back the comforter. She took of his shirt and sat down with him. Neither of them said a word as he lay down and she wrapped him in her arms.
She held him tight as he cried silently. She didn’t need to know what had brought him to this moment all she wanted was to comfort him. As the minutes and hours ticked away in the night Maria held her Michael as she had so many years ago. Somewhere in the darkness the two drifted off to sleep both knowing that they’re loved.
Part 35
Maria played Michael some of the songs she had written that had been recorded by various artists on their ride home from the restaurant.
As Michael listened to the music he realized that most of the songs had a sad melancholy feel to them. They were about lost love, love that was torn away, betrayal and love that had been a seed waiting to grow but had been killed by the cold. Michael could imagine the inspiration for each of the songs he heard, Liz, Kyle Alex and of course Maria herself.
The last song they had heard was sung by a country artist. While not normally Michael’s type of music the words of the song captivated him. The song was about a mother telling her daughter about her father and how much he loved them even though he had to go away. Michael had to try very hard to not cry as the words filtered through his mind. Not a sound was spoken as the last few notes filled the car.
A lump had formed in Michael’s throat and he could not find his voice. Maria just continued to drive letting him absorb the songs he had heard. She knew that some of it would be difficult for him but her songs were apart of her and she wanted him to know every part of her.
They drove in silence until she pulled into the drive of her house. Before they got out he reached over and grabbed her hand. She looked up and their eyes met.
“I always knew that you were talented Maria but… Those songs were amazing.”
She gave him a smile. “Thank You.”
After the brief exchange they had gotten out of the car and were now in the living room.
“Can I get you anything?” Maria asked as they sat in silence for a few moments.
“Do you have a beer?”
Maria frowned.
“Do you think that’s such a good idea? I thought you aliens couldn’t handle your liquor. I don’t need my living room lighting up like the fourth of July”
Michael smiled.
“Apparently it’s only Max who can’t hold his liquor.”
Maria looked at Michael confused.
“Alcohol it seems isn’t exclusive to earth. They have it on Antar too. Antarians drink it all the time without a problem. Max for some reason just can’t. I however am fine.”
Maria began to laugh.
“What’s so funny? You don’t think I can hold my liquor?”
Maria responded through bursts of laughter.
“No, it’s not that. It’s just that little bit of info about Max has always pissed Kyle off. Every time he would get drunk he would blame Max for lowering his alcohol tolerance. And Liz hasn’t even ever had a drink, all because Max is a lightweight.”
Michael had to admit that was kind of funny and joined in with her laughter.
Once she had composed herself she went and got a beer for Michael and got herself a glass of white wine. She set them down in front of Michael and then walked over to the large book shelf in the room. She pulled out a white leather book and brought it over to Michael and handed to him.
Michael looked at her confused.
“What is this?”
“That is Mikayla’s first scrapbook. I have documented ever moment of her life.”
Michael didn’t say a word. He just opened the front cover. There was a large full page picture of Mikayla when she was first born. Tears immediately sprang to his eyes.
She was perfect, beautiful.
“That was taken right after her first bath. She was so pink and soft. Alex snapped that right as I wrapped her in the towel.”
Michael again felt that jealous pang. It should have been him who took that picture.
After a few more moments running his finger over the photo he turned the page to find a picture of his daughter in her mother’s womb.
“How?” He asked as he ran his fingers over the image.
“We broke in to the radiology department in the Las Cruses Hospital. Liz read the manual of the ultrasound machine and we got the picture. We wanted to make sure that everything appeared normal.”
Underneath the ultrasound photo was a picture of Maria on a table holding Alex and Kyle’s hands.
Michael turned the page again and there were pictures of Maria at different stages of her pregnancy.
Maria pointed at the last one. It was one of three labeled ninth month.
“I was in my twelfth month in that picture. I told you that I looked like a whale. There is a reason that human pregnancies are only 9 months. No one should have to be pregnant that long.”
“You looked beautiful Maria.”
“You have to say that I was carrying your daughter.” She laughed.
The next few pages contained pictures of Mikayla’s birth. Then there were pictures of everyone with the baby.
Michael wished that he could go back in time. He wished he could hold his little girl in his arms, feel tiny fingers curl around his own. He realized as he flipped through that scrapbook of the first year of his daughter’s life that he had missed so much. He had known of course but this made it real. He saw these memories frozen in time, memories he would and could never be a part of and it wounded his soul.
As they looked through the book Maria would fill in the picture with a story. She wanted Michael to be a part of this part of Mikayla’s life even if he hadn’t been there.
The last page was a picture of a one year old Mikayla covered in icing and cake from her first birthday cake.
They both laughed at the photo. Then Michael set the book down on the coffee table.
“Thank You Maria. I missed so much of her life. I don’t want to miss anymore.”
“You won’t. There are plenty more where that came from.”
They spent much of the rest of the night talking about Maria and Mikayla’s life while he was gone but nothing about him and what had happened while he was gone.
Finally Maria asked him.
“Michael, we have spent the night talking about my life in the last five years what about you? What happened on Antar?”
A look of sadness passed across his face and then his eyes got dark.
“Maria… I don’t think that I can talk about it.”
Maria felt a knife stab her heart. Why should she be surprised? Michael had opened up to her truly only twice in their whole relationship. Why did she think this would be any different?
Michael saw the look of hurt that passed across her face.
“Maria its not that I don’t…”
“No, it’s ok Michael. I shouldn’t have asked. You know it’s getting late. We have to pick up Mikayla in the morning. I better get some rest.”
“Maria…” He tried to stop her from going.
“Good night Michael.” She said without looking back at him and giving him the opportunity to persuade her to stay. She had to start protecting herself. If Michael was going to be a part of Mikayla’s life she couldn’t let their relationship be volatile. That would destroy her daughter and she wouldn’t allow her to be hurt.
She went to her room and took a shower leaving Michael in the living room alone with his thoughts. She let the spray of the shower head drown her feelings away. It had been such a wonderful evening and then she had pushed to hard and now she didn’t know where they stood.
She got out of the shower and put on her comfort pj’s. They were soft and warm and always made her feel safe. She sat in front of her vanity and combed her hair. She felt as if she were in high school again. The same thoughts running through her head: “Where did she stand with Michael Guerin?”
She finished with her nightly routine and climbed into her bed. She was about to doze off when a light knock on her door startled her.
She wondered what she should do. It could only be one person. Should she pretend to be asleep? She didn’t know what to do. Finally she decided to open it.
There standing before her was Michael. A weird sense of Deja vu came over her. He had the same tortured pleading look he had the night he had come to her window so many years ago. Resistance was futile. She couldn’t resist him then and she couldn’t now.
“Can I come in?” He asked her.
She opened the door wider to allow him access to the room. He walked in and she shut it behind him.
“Michael…” She began but he cut her off.
Tears filled his eyes. “Maria, it’s not that I don’t want to… The things I’ve seen, experienced… I don’t want…” Tears were running down his face.
Maria placed her finger over his lip to silence him. She could see that he was in pain. It didn’t matter that he didn’t tell her about what happened these past five years. What mattered to her was that he had come to her when he needed comfort.
The tears continued to roll down his face as they stood there staring in to each others eyes. Maria took his hand in hers. She led him to her bed and pulled back the comforter. She took of his shirt and sat down with him. Neither of them said a word as he lay down and she wrapped him in her arms.
She held him tight as he cried silently. She didn’t need to know what had brought him to this moment all she wanted was to comfort him. As the minutes and hours ticked away in the night Maria held her Michael as she had so many years ago. Somewhere in the darkness the two drifted off to sleep both knowing that they’re loved.