I still have no idea what I'm doing or where this is going, which is probably apparent at the lack of substance in this part.
<center>~*~ ~*~ ~*~ Liz ~*~ ~*~ ~*~</center>
I continue to trace my fingers across the water, drawing invisible shapes and objects in the water, disappearing as soon as I begin. Behind me I hear a whisper of movement as Max moves from the bench to kneel beside me. I turn to him and find myself caught in his gaze once again. I had imagined what it would feel like to be so completely the center of his attention before, but that paled in comparison to the true experience.
My hand stilled in the water, my breathing came to a quick halt, and all previous thoughts I had disappeared the moment my eyes met his. I did not know if I wanted him to close his eyes, releasing me, or if I never wanted this moment to end. I searched his expression. His face was still bathed in the gentle light from the water, giving his skin a soft residual glow. My eyes drifted over the contours and curves of his face, but I was neither sure what it was that I was looking for nor was I sure what it was that I had found. And I wondered was he doing the same with me? What did he see in my expression? Did he see what I so greatly desired and tried so hard to hide, or was it still safely hidden behind what I wanted him to believe?
What Real Life's Like (CC TEEN) Thread #2
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Sugarplum7
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Last edited by Sugarplum7 on Thu Dec 29, 2005 11:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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OOC -- Sorry, Sugarplum. I was going to add more to that post but I suddenly got word that my cousin had been born and I had to go watch the older siblings... without computer access. And the little girl was so upset that her mommy was gone with her birthday tomorrow... Anyway, sorry I left you with so little to work with. 
*Max*
Liz looks back at me and suddenly I really feel lost. She's so amazing. So beautiful, so kind, so gentle, so everything I want. I suddenly feel like I need to leave. Like this can't be real. I mean, she's just looking at me in the moonlight. That's just because it's night time and I'm talking to her, right? It doesn't need to mean more. The rest is all in my mind. The emotions I want to see there -- I'm sure I must be imagining it...
Except that Kels did say something ...
"Liz?" I ask, swallowing as my throat goes dry again. I remember every moment we spent together. Talking on the stair that first night. Helping with Alex when he came home plastered. So many other small conversations and tasks... and bigger ones, too, in the plot to get Isabel to notice Alex. It was always so wonderful to be with her even when I was sure she had no interest in me. Do I want to ruin that? Do I want to risk losing something even better?
"... Can I ask you something ... personal?" I finish.
*Max*
Liz looks back at me and suddenly I really feel lost. She's so amazing. So beautiful, so kind, so gentle, so everything I want. I suddenly feel like I need to leave. Like this can't be real. I mean, she's just looking at me in the moonlight. That's just because it's night time and I'm talking to her, right? It doesn't need to mean more. The rest is all in my mind. The emotions I want to see there -- I'm sure I must be imagining it...
Except that Kels did say something ...
"Liz?" I ask, swallowing as my throat goes dry again. I remember every moment we spent together. Talking on the stair that first night. Helping with Alex when he came home plastered. So many other small conversations and tasks... and bigger ones, too, in the plot to get Isabel to notice Alex. It was always so wonderful to be with her even when I was sure she had no interest in me. Do I want to ruin that? Do I want to risk losing something even better?
"... Can I ask you something ... personal?" I finish.
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Sugarplum7
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Don’t worry about anything, Izzy. There was nothing to apologize for. ^_^ I hope that this pleases.
<center>~*~ ~*~ ~*~ Liz ~*~ ~*~ ~*~</center>
“Liz?” Max finally speaks, and my eyes are drawn from his eyes to his mouth. “Can I ask you something . . . personal?” he adds the final word to the sentence, as though he was warning me about the twist our conversation would be taking.
I could say no and leave things as they were. I could stand and say that I would rather go upstairs and go to bed instead of continuing our talk. But after asking him all my questions, it would be unfair of me to back away at his first.
I pulled my hand out of the water and sat back, moving to get more comfortable on the hard pavement that still held some small amount of the day’s warmth. I pushed my hair behind my shoulder, my wet fingers not moving through it as smoothly as they usually do. His eyes still on me, and for the first time, his gaze made me feel the slightest bit of discomfort. It was as though he could see through all my defenses and see the truth of . . . and see the truth.
Did I want him to? Was it something I should want? It was something I dreamt of. It was something I desired. However it was not something I wanted at the expense of another’s happiness. That fact did little to stop the want, much to my dismay.
“I—I guess,” I finally stammer out. I cross my arms in front of me, aware of the defensive action and knowing that I couldn’t stop myself.
I looked away from him and back at the water, knowing with certainty that he was going to leave me exposed.
<center>~*~ ~*~ ~*~ Liz ~*~ ~*~ ~*~</center>
“Liz?” Max finally speaks, and my eyes are drawn from his eyes to his mouth. “Can I ask you something . . . personal?” he adds the final word to the sentence, as though he was warning me about the twist our conversation would be taking.
I could say no and leave things as they were. I could stand and say that I would rather go upstairs and go to bed instead of continuing our talk. But after asking him all my questions, it would be unfair of me to back away at his first.
I pulled my hand out of the water and sat back, moving to get more comfortable on the hard pavement that still held some small amount of the day’s warmth. I pushed my hair behind my shoulder, my wet fingers not moving through it as smoothly as they usually do. His eyes still on me, and for the first time, his gaze made me feel the slightest bit of discomfort. It was as though he could see through all my defenses and see the truth of . . . and see the truth.
Did I want him to? Was it something I should want? It was something I dreamt of. It was something I desired. However it was not something I wanted at the expense of another’s happiness. That fact did little to stop the want, much to my dismay.
“I—I guess,” I finally stammer out. I cross my arms in front of me, aware of the defensive action and knowing that I couldn’t stop myself.
I looked away from him and back at the water, knowing with certainty that he was going to leave me exposed.
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Sternbetrachter
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OOC -- Thanks, Trude. I wasn't even sure that Kyle and Alex had made it to bed. Nice to see that he has. lol. 
*Max*
She looks at me and I forget how to think. God, what am I going to say? How can I ask this? What if she tells me I'm wrong? She's crossing her arms and leaning away from me now. I can almost see the defensive wall she's putting up. She's agreed, but it looks like maybe she's not happy about it.
I've already started. I can't turn back now. What else could I ask? What her favorite color is? No, that's rediculous. I'm in it now. Gotta go through with it.
"Well...," I say, doing a terrible job of stalling. I already told her that I thought she'd liked Alex when she first came her, right? When I told her that I'd given her the rose? Actually, maybe I didn't. Not sure. I know she doesn't like Michael that way and Alex assures me that she isn't interested in Kyle, either. But truthfully, none of that matters. Even if she isn't interested in any of them, that doesn't mean she'd want me. There's no rule. She might see us all as 'friends' and be looking elsewhere for 'someone special.'
Damn, I'm so pathetic. Why can't I even talk to her? I should just ask her if she's interested in me.
No. How self-centered would that seem? Especially after the way this week started, with the other three girls hanging on me. How can I ask her that? When I told her about the rose, she'd turned off, turned away. Will she do the same now? Kels said she liked me as more than a friend but it sure hasn't seemed that way...
But how can I not ask? I have to know. Don't I?
"... You really are a terriffic person. I've liked you from the beginning. I really enjoy talking with you, being with you. If ... if I had asked you to go out with me, would you have ..." said yes? my throat freezes up, trapping then next words I would have said. I try start again, but just end it as it began. "Would you have?"
*Michael*
I follow Isabel to the bar and order her drink along with one for me. I look at her as I wait for them to be made. She really is beautiful, and a hell of a lot of fun. Why can't she have been the one dating Max? It would be so great to win her away from him. Not that mousy Tess...
"I can't believe what homebodies the rest of the gang have turned out to be. Glad there's at least one other party animal here," I tell her with a grin. "Kyle will probably have you back by nine when you go out tomorrow."
That's a mis-match if I've ever seen one. He's so -- boring. And Isabel is so terrific.
.
*Max*
She looks at me and I forget how to think. God, what am I going to say? How can I ask this? What if she tells me I'm wrong? She's crossing her arms and leaning away from me now. I can almost see the defensive wall she's putting up. She's agreed, but it looks like maybe she's not happy about it.
I've already started. I can't turn back now. What else could I ask? What her favorite color is? No, that's rediculous. I'm in it now. Gotta go through with it.
"Well...," I say, doing a terrible job of stalling. I already told her that I thought she'd liked Alex when she first came her, right? When I told her that I'd given her the rose? Actually, maybe I didn't. Not sure. I know she doesn't like Michael that way and Alex assures me that she isn't interested in Kyle, either. But truthfully, none of that matters. Even if she isn't interested in any of them, that doesn't mean she'd want me. There's no rule. She might see us all as 'friends' and be looking elsewhere for 'someone special.'
Damn, I'm so pathetic. Why can't I even talk to her? I should just ask her if she's interested in me.
No. How self-centered would that seem? Especially after the way this week started, with the other three girls hanging on me. How can I ask her that? When I told her about the rose, she'd turned off, turned away. Will she do the same now? Kels said she liked me as more than a friend but it sure hasn't seemed that way...
But how can I not ask? I have to know. Don't I?
"... You really are a terriffic person. I've liked you from the beginning. I really enjoy talking with you, being with you. If ... if I had asked you to go out with me, would you have ..." said yes? my throat freezes up, trapping then next words I would have said. I try start again, but just end it as it began. "Would you have?"
*Michael*
I follow Isabel to the bar and order her drink along with one for me. I look at her as I wait for them to be made. She really is beautiful, and a hell of a lot of fun. Why can't she have been the one dating Max? It would be so great to win her away from him. Not that mousy Tess...
"I can't believe what homebodies the rest of the gang have turned out to be. Glad there's at least one other party animal here," I tell her with a grin. "Kyle will probably have you back by nine when you go out tomorrow."
That's a mis-match if I've ever seen one. He's so -- boring. And Isabel is so terrific.
.
Last edited by isabelle on Mon Jan 02, 2006 3:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Sugarplum7
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<center>~*~ ~*~ ~*~ Liz ~*~ ~*~ ~*~</center>
He eases into the question, I notice. But even that doesn’t ease any of the nervousness at what the question is he might be asking. “If I had asked you to go out with me, would you have?” he asks, and I can’t believe that he actually asked that until he asks the question again. “Would you have?”
Would I have? The question would have surprised me then as much as it’s surprising me now. That much I do know.
“I . . . I don’t know,” I say, more to fill the silence that fell since he asked than anything. It’s something that I wished happened, but I honestly don’t know how I would have answered then.
I turn to him and slowly meet his gaze for the first time since he asked the question before I answer it as truthfully as I can. “Maybe.”
He eases into the question, I notice. But even that doesn’t ease any of the nervousness at what the question is he might be asking. “If I had asked you to go out with me, would you have?” he asks, and I can’t believe that he actually asked that until he asks the question again. “Would you have?”
Would I have? The question would have surprised me then as much as it’s surprising me now. That much I do know.
“I . . . I don’t know,” I say, more to fill the silence that fell since he asked than anything. It’s something that I wished happened, but I honestly don’t know how I would have answered then.
I turn to him and slowly meet his gaze for the first time since he asked the question before I answer it as truthfully as I can. “Maybe.”
*Max*
Maybe, she says after a pause that makes me wonder if time had stopped. I feel something inside me deflate, my shoulders hunching down just a hair more than they had been. I look down at my hands. "... and maybe not," I finish for her, nodding.
If she had been willing to say yes, I'm sure she would have. The only reason I can think for her to say 'maybe' would be if she just didn't want to hurt my feelings with a 'no.'
I look up then, forcing a friendly smile onto my face as I meet her eyes. "Well, I wouldn't have wanted to mess up this -- our friendship," I tell her. I hope I haven't messed things up by hinting that I'm interested in her. I couldn't stand it if that happened. I want to be able to be near her. I need that ...
Maybe, she says after a pause that makes me wonder if time had stopped. I feel something inside me deflate, my shoulders hunching down just a hair more than they had been. I look down at my hands. "... and maybe not," I finish for her, nodding.
If she had been willing to say yes, I'm sure she would have. The only reason I can think for her to say 'maybe' would be if she just didn't want to hurt my feelings with a 'no.'
I look up then, forcing a friendly smile onto my face as I meet her eyes. "Well, I wouldn't have wanted to mess up this -- our friendship," I tell her. I hope I haven't messed things up by hinting that I'm interested in her. I couldn't stand it if that happened. I want to be able to be near her. I need that ...
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Sugarplum7
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<center>~*~ ~*~ ~*~ Liz ~*~ ~*~ ~*~</center>
I turn away from him as soon as I answer his question and wait for his reaction, whatever it may be. “And maybe not,” he adds after I finish. I hadn’t intended to continue with an “and maybe not,” but maybe that’s what he was hoping to hear. Instead of contradicting what he thought, I allow him to believe what he wanted to. Why else would he add something to my answer that I did not speak?
“Well, I wouldn’t have wanted to mess up this—our friendship,” he explains, and I am even more sure that he just wanted to make sure that I didn’t get any wrong impressions from him. He’s interested in Tess, and he wanted to give me a gentle reminder of that fact.
“Neither would I,” I reply as I try to bring a smile to my face despite the fact that he dashed any hope I had that he had any feelings despite friendship for me. “Good friends are hard to come by, especially when you’re in a new place.” I look over at him and offer another smile I can hide behind.
I turn away from him as soon as I answer his question and wait for his reaction, whatever it may be. “And maybe not,” he adds after I finish. I hadn’t intended to continue with an “and maybe not,” but maybe that’s what he was hoping to hear. Instead of contradicting what he thought, I allow him to believe what he wanted to. Why else would he add something to my answer that I did not speak?
“Well, I wouldn’t have wanted to mess up this—our friendship,” he explains, and I am even more sure that he just wanted to make sure that I didn’t get any wrong impressions from him. He’s interested in Tess, and he wanted to give me a gentle reminder of that fact.
“Neither would I,” I reply as I try to bring a smile to my face despite the fact that he dashed any hope I had that he had any feelings despite friendship for me. “Good friends are hard to come by, especially when you’re in a new place.” I look over at him and offer another smile I can hide behind.
*Max*
Liz's answer seems friendly, no more, but her smile is a little forced. I think my question must have made her uncomfortable. It was inappropriate, I suppose. Asking out of the blue, like that. She's emphasizing our friendship again. Is it a signal that friendship is all she wants? Of course it is.
It seems that Kels was wrong, afterall. There's a cameraman at the other side of the pool, recording all this. I wonder what the odds are that she's watching now, seeing the results of her suggestion. The picture will be dark, but I'm sure it should be clear enough.
I hate to see Liz looking uncomfortable, 'tho. She's so beautiful. I want her so very much. But more than that, I want her to be happy. And I want her to be okay with being near me. She's very forgiving and I'm sure she'll be willing to forgive and forget this mess, but I hate that I've put her in this position.
"Right," I agree. I'm glad I was able to bring her old friends into this for her birthday, but from here on in, it'll just be the eight of us and the friendships we have here in the house and the others we'll meet in Miami. It's important to keep them.
"When we first got here, I thought you were interested in Alex," I say, keeping my tone friendly although I'm watching her carefully. Alex has assured me that she wasn't, and working with her to help him get together with Isabel, I'm pretty certain that it was true. It is possible she did like him then, but just not that way, or that she changed her mind.
Liz's answer seems friendly, no more, but her smile is a little forced. I think my question must have made her uncomfortable. It was inappropriate, I suppose. Asking out of the blue, like that. She's emphasizing our friendship again. Is it a signal that friendship is all she wants? Of course it is.
It seems that Kels was wrong, afterall. There's a cameraman at the other side of the pool, recording all this. I wonder what the odds are that she's watching now, seeing the results of her suggestion. The picture will be dark, but I'm sure it should be clear enough.
I hate to see Liz looking uncomfortable, 'tho. She's so beautiful. I want her so very much. But more than that, I want her to be happy. And I want her to be okay with being near me. She's very forgiving and I'm sure she'll be willing to forgive and forget this mess, but I hate that I've put her in this position.
"Right," I agree. I'm glad I was able to bring her old friends into this for her birthday, but from here on in, it'll just be the eight of us and the friendships we have here in the house and the others we'll meet in Miami. It's important to keep them.
"When we first got here, I thought you were interested in Alex," I say, keeping my tone friendly although I'm watching her carefully. Alex has assured me that she wasn't, and working with her to help him get together with Isabel, I'm pretty certain that it was true. It is possible she did like him then, but just not that way, or that she changed her mind.
ISABEL
"I can't believe what homebodies the rest of the gang have turned out to be. Glad there's at least one other party animal here," He tells me with a grin. "Kyle will probably have you back by nine when you go out tomorrow."
Oh, I had kinda forgot about my date with Kyle tomorrow night. Everything has been so hectic tonight that I pushed it to the back of my mind and left it there. I don’t know what I thinking when I agreed to it. I had after all swore off all men while I’m in the house.
Wait, I do remember why I accepted. Because I want to fun. I want to enjoy my time in the house and have a lots of happy memories so that when I have children and grandchildren, I can tell them about the time I was on television and had the most amazing time ever.
“You’re not trying to put me off Kyle now, are you?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. “I’m sure whatever Kyle has planned for tomorrow night will be fun, fun, fun.”
"I can't believe what homebodies the rest of the gang have turned out to be. Glad there's at least one other party animal here," He tells me with a grin. "Kyle will probably have you back by nine when you go out tomorrow."
Oh, I had kinda forgot about my date with Kyle tomorrow night. Everything has been so hectic tonight that I pushed it to the back of my mind and left it there. I don’t know what I thinking when I agreed to it. I had after all swore off all men while I’m in the house.
Wait, I do remember why I accepted. Because I want to fun. I want to enjoy my time in the house and have a lots of happy memories so that when I have children and grandchildren, I can tell them about the time I was on television and had the most amazing time ever.
“You’re not trying to put me off Kyle now, are you?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. “I’m sure whatever Kyle has planned for tomorrow night will be fun, fun, fun.”