Roswell Fanatics

~Liz~

"No, its not that. I just... I'm terrified I'll lose you again. Everything seemed to be ok for a year...I mean I know Zan came to me....but then you just upped and left. I guess Im just scared that eventually your going to decide you cant be a part of my life because of Zan. And I cant turn my back on my son Liz"

"Oh, God, Max." I say. "No. That's not going to happen. I love you too much. And, Zan, he's a part of you. He's a big part of you, and I love him just as much as I love you. I would never my back on you. Not this time." I pause, letting out a small laugh. "I'm not a kid hater, you know. Just because his mother wasn't a very good person, doesn't mean that I don't love him."

~~~~~MAX~~~~~
"Oh, God, Max. No. That's not going to happen. I love you too much. And, Zan, he's a part of you. He's a big part of you, and I love him just as much as I love you. I would never my back on you. Not this time."
She laughs.
"I'm not a kid hater, you know. Just because his mother wasn't a very good person, doesn't mean that I don't love him."

A small smile forms on my lips. Im sitting up in the bed, still not looking at her. I know she loves Zan... I guess I just...never understood why she left in the first place. What I did wrong.....what I need to prevent from happening this time.

I realise we never had that conversation. We never actually got to discuss why she did what she did.
"Why did you leave?" I ask quietly, scared to death that shes going to be angry with me for asking. But its something I need to hear.

~Liz~

"Why did you leave?" Max asks me in a quiet voice.

I take a deep breath, unsure of what it is that I should tell him, and also unsure of how to begin.

"When Tess...came back," I say, taking a deep breath. "With your son. When I went over to Michael's appartment and I found her in there, after I blasted her actually, I went to the Crashdown and I sat down at one of the booths to talk with Maria." I pause, not quite looking Max in the eye. "We started talking and I told her that I had blasted Tess. And I told her how I had thought that that part of my life was dead and buried. It's weird how I seem to remember the conversation like it took place yesterday. Anyway's, she told me that she was sick of seeing me the way I was. Like a victim. That's the word she used. And she told me that I didn't have to be a victim in all of this, that it was my life and that I should either forgive you or get you out of my life." I paused, swallowing hard before continuing. "As you saw I chose option number two. I left Roswell. Thinking that maybe if I just left and went somewhere else, that I could start my life again. That I would be free of all that alien crap that I had endured for the past year's. I just wanted to be free. "

~~~~~MAX~~~~~
"When Tess...came back, with your son. When I went over to Michael's appartment and I found her in there, after I blasted her actually, I went to the Crashdown and I sat down at one of the booths to talk with Maria."

She pauses before continuing.
"We started talking and I told her that I had blasted Tess. And I told her how I had thought that that part of my life was dead and buried. It's weird how I seem to remember the conversation like it took place yesterday. Anyway's, she told me that she was sick of seeing me the way I was. Like a victim. That's the word she used. And she told me that I didn't have to be a victim in all of this, that it was my life and that I should either forgive you or get you out of my life."

Maria...she knew why she left? And she didnt say anything to me?
"As you saw I chose option number two. I left Roswell. Thinking that maybe if I just left and went somewhere else, that I could start my life again. That I would be free of all that alien crap that I had endured for the past year's. I just wanted to be free. "

I nodd silently, understanding but fearing what she just said leads to me ask.
"Liz...I understand. Its fair enough that you wanted to...to get out of here. I understand that the alien crap is...well...crap." I shut my eyes slowly before saying
"But its still there Liz. Im still having to deal with the alien crap. And its not going to go away Liz. Its here to stay. Even if we get rid of Khivar....theres always going to be some alien crap to deal with."
I swallow as I try to think how to word what I need to say.
"Liz, I dont know if I could deal if you decide that you cant handle the alien crap again. I dont know how I'd...manage. I'm...I'm scared Liz. I'm scared your going to leave when you realise that I cant change who I am."

~Liz~

"Liz...I understand. Its fair enough that you wanted to...to get out of here. I understand that the alien crap is...well...crap. But its still there Liz. Im still having to deal with the alien crap. And its not going to go away Liz. Its here to stay. Even if we get rid of Khivar....theres always going to be some alien crap to deal with. Liz, I dont know if I could deal if you decide that you cant handle the alien crap again. I dont know how I'd...manage. I'm...I'm scared Liz. I'm scared your going to leave when you realise that I cant change who I am."

"I know," I answer quietly. I look up into his eye's. "But I promise you, Max. I'm never going to leave you again. The whole me leaving last time and coming back here and seeing you. Being with you. It made me realise how I don't want to be apart form you ever again. It made me realise how much I really missed you. Badly. I don't want to be apart from you again, Max. So, no matter how much alien crap comes along after we take out Khivar. I'm gonna stick my your side. And that's a promise I'm making you."

~~~~~MAX~~~~~
"I know,"
I swallow hard as I look round at her, dreading what shes going to say. She looks up at me.

"But I promise you, Max. I'm never going to leave you again. The whole me leaving last time and coming back here and seeing you. Being with you. It made me realise how I don't want to be apart form you ever again. It made me realise how much I really missed you. Badly. I don't want to be apart from you again, Max. So, no matter how much alien crap comes along after we take out Khivar. I'm gonna stick my your side. And that's a promise I'm making you."

I shake my head. "I dont want you to promise that Liz. Because I would understand...if you want to leave. You shouldn't have to deal with the alien crap...you should be free to...see normal guys...grow. And you cant do that with me. We both know that."

I slowly get off the bed. "I had better get back to Zan...." I say as I look away and shrug back on my jacket. "Liz...." I say quietly. "I just...I dont want you to... to regret being with me. I dont want you to leave...but I dont want you to stay if your going to leave again. But I dont want to make you stay..."
I growl in frustration at not being able to say what I want to say. I scratch my ear as I say "Im not making any sense..."

~Liz~

"I dont want you to promise that Liz. Because I would understand...if you want to leave. You shouldn't have to deal with the alien crap...you should be free to...see normal guys...grow. And you cant do that with me. We both know that." I watch as he gets off the bed and puts on his jacket. "I had better get back to Zan...Liz....I just...I dont want you to... to regret being with me. I dont want you to leave...but I dont want you to stay if your going to leave again. But I dont want to make you stay... Im not making any sense..."

"It's called babbling." I tell him with a small smile. "And yes, you're babbling right now." To my turn, i get off the bed. "You know, I tried that for a while. The whole leaving Roswell and seeing normal guy's. Guy's like Nathan. And, yeah, I was happy. But I wasn't as happy as when i was with you. I always like there was this part of me that wasn't...complete when I was with Brendan. I felt like this big part of me was missing. I know I won't regret having been with you, Max. Just like I never regretted being with you seven year's ago. I love you, Max. I fell in love with you that day at the Crashdown when you healed me. I've been in love with you ever since."

~~~~~MAX~~~~~
"It's called babbling. And yes, you're babbling right now."
She gets off the bed.
"You know, I tried that for a while. The whole leaving Roswell and seeing normal guy's. Guy's like Nathan. And, yeah, I was happy. But I wasn't as happy as when i was with you. I always like there was this part of me that wasn't...complete when I was with Brendan. I felt like this big part of me was missing. I know I won't regret having been with you, Max. Just like I never regretted being with you seven year's ago. I love you, Max. I fell in love with you that day at the Crashdown when you healed me. I've been in love with you ever since."
I turn round slowly to look at her.
"I've always loved you Liz" I say quietly. I gently brush my hair back as I look at her. I bite my lip nervously as I try to think what to say. But I cant form any words to convey what I'm feeling right now. Because when I look at her....all I can think is....shes perfect. And somehow...I just know...if were together, nothing can stand in our way.

~Liz~

"I've always loved you Liz"

I smile up at him before taking a step towards him, cupping his face and slowly kiss him on the lips.

~~~~~MAX~~~~~
I watch as she moves towards me and cups my face. Then her lips are on mine. Instantly my arms wrap around her waist, pulling her closer to me.
"Liz" I murmur against her lips, as I lose myself in this feeling.