I'm just going to make this short and sweet today, so a big THANK YOU FOR THE FEEDBACK to:
spacegirl23
Sara
Ginger
Nove
Krista (Aw, your siggie!)
nibbles
Leila
BLONDIE
killjoy
behrlyliz
Eva
tequathisy (There really is no "nice one" in the Evans family.)
Alison
Nat
And just so you guys know, I so totally did NOT intend to leave it at that cliffhanger and say "Hey, I'm going home for six weeks!" It just worked out that way.
And I do enjoy both spanking and bumping, so thank you, my stalkers!
Part 51
No. Michael thought. It was the only coherent thought running through his barely-working brain. No. He had to be dreaming, because there was no way any of this could be real. Isabel, back in his apartment . . . and her stomach was so big.
He stared at her in astonishment, trying to look her in the eye, but his own eyes kept dropping down to her belly. She rubbed it with one hand and kept smiling at him. “Aren’t you gonna say something?” she asked.
He didn’t even know what to say. His voice was barely working. It was as though everything in him had suddenly shut off, and he couldn’t function. “What . . .” He forced himself to raise his eyes and look right at her instead of her protruding belly. “What’re you doin’ here?” he managed, barely able to string a sentence together.
“Maybe I just missed you,” she replied, still grinning. She finally seemed to notice they weren’t alone in the room, because she added, “Hey, Maria,” as an afterthought.
Michael glanced down at his girlfriend. She looked as shell-shocked as he did. Her mouth was hanging open, her eyes were bulging, and she didn’t even look to be breathing. “Um, I should . . . go,” she decided, quickly handing Frank over to him.
“No, Maria . . .”
“Michael.” She looked at Isabel again out of the corner of her eye and started to leave.
He held Frank in one hand and reached with her for the other, trying to stop her. “You don’t have to--”
“Michael.” She held her hands up and backed away slowly, out into the hallway, looking stunned.
She pulled the door shut, and after it clicked into place, there was only silence. Michael stood there, holding the dog, trying to make some sense of what was happening. He didn’t even want to look at Isabel again. He was afraid to.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Maria tried to take deep, steady breaths as she headed down the hallway. Isabel. Isabel Evans. Was back. Oh god.
She sat down in the stairwell, trying to gather some sort of a calming feeling. She felt like her heart was beating a million times a minute. Isabel wasn’t just back; she was pregnant. She had a kid in that stomach. Somebody’s kid. Maybe Michael’s.
She sat in the stairwell for only a minute. She didn’t want Michael to come out and see her there. He needed to deal with things, and she didn’t want to be in the way. She just wanted to be somewhere else. She had to get out of there.
She drove the familiar route to her old apartment and was there in under ten minutes. She rode the elevator up to the third floor, too tired to take the stairs, and trudged down the hallway to the door with 315 written on it. She knocked and prayed Tess was home.
Tess opened the door a moment later and smiled when she saw Maria. “Hey,” she chirped. “What’re you doing here?”
Maria looked down at her feet, unable to formulate a response. “Can I come in?” she mumbled quietly.
Tess looked confused but replied without hesitance. “Sure.” She opened the door wider, and Maria slipped inside. The irony of the situation was not lost on her, seeking refuge in her old apartment now that her new one had been . . . invaded.
“Where’s Michael?” Tess inquired, shutting the door.
Maria looked away again. “He’s at home,” she muttered.
“Oh.” Tess flapped her arms against her sides, looking a bit clueless as to what to say. “Did you guys have a good Valentine’s Day?”
“Uh-huh.” Maria could hear the dazed tone of her own voice.
“What’d you do?” Tess asked, quickly reconsidering whether she wanted a reply or not. “Don’t answer that. I think I already know.”
What Tess thought they did was the one thing they hadn’t done. “We, uh . . . we got a puppy,” Maria told her.
“Really? A puppy? What kind?”
“A pug named Frank.” Frank was cute. Frank was sweet. Frank was theirs.
“How cute,” Tess remarked. “And this was Michael’s idea?”
Is this really happening? Maria wondered, hoping it wasn’t. She hoped it was a nightmare. She could deal with a nightmare.
“Maria?”
“Hmm?” It wasn’t a nightmare. It was real.
Tess neared her, a look of concern in her eyes. “Is everything okay?”
Maria swallowed hard and stuffed her hands in her pockets. She couldn’t talk about it. Had to be the strong, silent type. For now at least. “Can I stay here tonight?” she asked.
Again, Tess looked confused, but she didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”
Maria nodded, trying to keep her emotions contained. “Thanks.” If she allowed herself to cry, she might never stop. She didn’t even know for sure what was going on, but she had a bad feeling. Whether Isabel was pregnant with Michael’s child or not, she was back in town, and there was no good that could come of that.
Maria attempted to smile at Tess, but it wasn’t much of a smile at all. More like her blinking back her tears. She walked down the hallway, first to her old bedroom. She pushed open the door and was greeted by pink things everywhere. That was Tess’s room now. She forgot. She walked down to the very end of the hallway and pushed open the door to what used to have been Tess’s room. It was a guest room now. It was going to be her room for the night.
She shut the door and sank down against it, letting the weariness overcome her. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on breathing. She just had to focus on breathing.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Seeing Isabel sitting in his living room freaked Michael out. Seeing her sitting there on his chair . . . nothing freaked him out more than the thing they weren’t talking about, though.
He sat down on the couch and poured her cup of tea. He couldn’t remember ever having seen her drink tea before, but she seemed all for it now. Maybe it was one of her cravings. He handed it to her, and her fingers brushed against his when she took it.
“Thanks,” she said, taking a sip. She grimaced—it must have tasted pretty bad, and set it down on the coffee table. “Sorry to pop in unannounced,” she apologized. “Looks like you had a pretty big night planned.”
He glanced down the hallway at the scene he had set up: rose petals, candles that weren’t yet lit . . . “I did,” he mumbled, wondering how one night could end up going so wrong so quickly. “How’d you get in?” he asked.
“I still have my key,” she explained.
He nodded. Isabel used to spend a lot of time in his apartment.
“Why don’t we get to the big, fat elephant in the room?” Isabel suggested finally. “Literally fat.”
He stared at her stomach again. She wasn’t just fat. That would’ve been too simple. “You’re--”
“Pregnant,” she cut in. “Yeah. Kinda noticed.”
He’d already worked out the math in his head, realized there was a definite possibility that . . . that his whole life was about to change. He had to know. “Is it mine?”
She looked him right in the eye and replied, “Absolutely.”
He felt as though someone had just pulled the ground out from beneath him, and suddenly he was on a free fall. He didn’t want to show that, but his expression must have betrayed him.
“Sorry, I know that’s not what you wanted to hear, but . . .” She shrugged. “It happened.”
He felt his bottom lip shaking as his future suddenly began to flash before his eyes. Two versions: the future he wanted and the future a baby with Isabel entailed. They didn’t mesh. “How?” he choked out.
“How?” she echoed, raising an eyebrow. “Well, see, there’s this stork . . .” She smiled for a moment but quickly seemed to realize that joking wasn’t a good idea. “I’m seven and a half months along,” she told him. “The doctor tells me the D.O.C. was July 3rd.”
He tensed. “What’s the D.O.C.?”
“Date of conception.”
He winced, having suspected that much.
“You remember July 3rd, don’t you?” Isabel said.
He most certainly did. “How could I forget?” That was the night Isabel had left, the night he hadn’t gotten to propose, the night he’d learned what kind of person she really was.
“For the longest time, I thought it was just great break-up sex,” she said. “Little did I know . . .” She trailed off and grinned as though that were something to grin about.
“I don’t even know if I should believe you or not,” he said, still trying to fathom the fact that his ex-girlfriend was back in town, back in his apartment. With his kid? It was too much.
“Why wouldn’t you?” she asked.
“Why would I?” he retorted. “It’s not like you’ve never lied to me before.”
She sighed heavily and took another sip of her awful tea. “Fair enough,” she acknowledged. “But I wouldn’t lie about this.”
He didn’t know who would. Even she couldn’t be that horrible . . . could she? “You cheated on me with another man,” he reminded her, sort of thinking out loud. “You were sleeping with him while you were sleeping with me. Am I right?”
“Alex,” Isabel said. “His name is Alex. And yes, I did. I thought this baby was his for a long time, and he took responsibility right away. But there was always this lingering doubt, and something didn’t feel right. So we got a paternity test.” She shrugged. “It’s not his. That only leaves one option.”
“Really?” He didn’t know whether or not to believe that claim, either.
“Yes,” she insisted, looking slightly offended. “Despite what you may wanna believe, I’m not a slut.”
He shook his head and stood up. “I can’t deal with this,” he said, starting to pace around the room.
“You have to.”
“I can’t,” he emphasized. “You’ve been gone for over seven months, and all of a sudden, you’re just back; and you’re pregnant, and you just expect me to deal.”
“I had to deal with it, too, you know,” she pointed out. “I’m the one who’s woken up in the morning feeling like my body’s inside out. I’m the one who’s had to watch what I eat, watch what I drink, watch what I do. And Alex--”
“I don’t really give a damn about this Alex guy,” Michael snapped.
“He was devastated when he found out this baby wasn’t his,” Isabel told him dramatically. “He still wanted to be there for me. He was willing to raise this baby as his own, but I couldn’t let him do that. I couldn’t not tell you. I had to be honest. For once.”
He grunted. Yeah, for once.
“That’s why I came back,” she said, using the arm of the chair to push herself up into a standing position. The simple movement looked like it was a pretty big effort. “You wish I hadn’t,” she realized. “Sorry.”
“It’s not . . .” He hated that she kept apologizing for all of this. She kept saying she was sorry, yet she still hadn’t done or said anything to indicate that she was sorry for cheating on him in the first place. “I’m just shocked,” he told her. “I don’t know what to think.”
“It’s huge news,” she said, stroking her stomach gently, “threw me for a loop, too. I know now I never should’ve left.”
He looked away and frowned. No, it was a good thing that she had left. It was good, because of Maria.
Maria.
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes,” Isabel went on, “but this isn’t one of them.” She took a few steps towards him and looked at him pleadingly. “We made a baby, Michael. Our love made a baby.”
It wasn’t love. It had never been love. He knew now what true love felt like.
“And in a month and a half, you’re gonna be a dad. I hope you’re ready for that.”
How could he be ready for that? He’d just found out about it.
“So,” she said, “could the mother of your child stay here tonight?”
He didn’t want her to stay there. He wanted his roommate, his girlfriend. He wanted this to not be happening. He wanted it to not be real.
“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” he said.
“Please?” she begged. “It’s either this or I have to go beg my brother for a hotel room. You don’t want me to have to rely on him, do you?”
No, he didn’t. He didn’t want to have anything to do with Max Evans, and even though Isabel was arguably on the same level that creep was . . . he wasn’t going to make her go to him.
“You can sleep in there,” he decided, motioning towards the bedroom. His and Maria’s bedroom. They were supposed to be in there right now, all over each other. Isabel used to lie in there with him at night. And that was where they had . . . on July 3rd.
“Cozy,” she remarked. “Thanks.” She grabbed her suitcase and rolled it behind her down the hallway. “I really am sorry, Michael,” she said as she went into the bedroom. “I didn’t mean to be the ants in your picnic.”
Michael’s entire body jolted when she shut the door. He felt a lump in his throat and a fear in his veins. Frank came up to him and pawed at his shoes as though he wanted attention. But Michael just stood there. All he could do was stand and try to breathe.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Maria lay curled up on the bed, the bed that had once been Tess’s bed. The headboard kept falling down. It was annoying, and she had little patience for it. Once she got it to stay upright, she closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep, but that wasn’t a possibility. She’d had such a good Valentine’s Day. She’d had such a good 2009 so far. Why couldn’t things just stay good?
She heard Tess’s cell phone ring out in the living room. Then she heard Tess said, “Michael, hey,” and she tensed. She didn’t have her cell phone on her. That was probably why Michael was calling Tess. He was probably looking for her. He probably wanted to see her or speak to her. He probably wanted to talk about Isabel.
Tess peeked into the bedroom, and Maria sat up slightly. “Yeah, she’s here,” Tess said to Michael. “Oh, you wanna talk to her?”
Maria shook her head vigorously and whispered, “No, no, no.”
“Um . . . actually, she’s asleep right now,” Tess lied. “Maybe you should just wait ‘til tomorrow?” She made a face. Clearly, she didn’t enjoy lying to Michael. “Okay,” she said, giving Maria a thumbs-up. “Bye, Michael.” She flipped her phone closed, tossed it onto the bed, and sighed heavily as she trudged into the room. “Okay, what is going on?”
Maria sat up farther and raked her hands through her hair. “I don’t know.”
“Just tell me.” Tess sat down on the side of the bed and took one of Maria’s hands in her own, squeezing it supportively. “Whatever it is, I’m not gonna judge. I’ll just listen.”
Maria was still reluctant to say anything. She worried that if she opened her mouth, she would start to break down.
“Did you guys get in a fight or something?”
She finally resigned to talking it out, though. If she couldn’t talk to her best friend, who could she talk to? “Or something,” she mumbled. “No. It’s way worse.”
“Worse?” Tess looked slightly fearful. “What happened?”
“We had a perfect day. That’s what happened. We got a puppy. We said he was like our baby.” The tears immediately sprung to her eyes. “Oh my god.”
“What?” Tess prodded. “Come on, Maria, whatever it is, you have to tell someone.”
A few tears spilled over, feeling like fire as they ran down her cheeks. “I wonder if it’s a boy or a girl,” she practically whispered.
“A boy or a girl?” Tess echoed. “What’re you--” She cut off abruptly, and her eyes bulged. “Oh my god,” she gasped in astonishment. “Are you pregnant?”
Maria shook her head. “I’m not. Isabel is.”
“Isabel? What?” Tess shook her head. “I don’t . . . I don’t get it. Isn’t she in Florida?”
“Not anymore. Michael and I walked into the apartment, and she was just . . .” Maria swallowed hard. “She was just there.”
“There?”
“Like standing there. And I thought I was seeing things, ‘cause . . . ‘cause, I mean, what would she be doing there after all this time? And then she turned around, and I saw her big, round stomach.” She shrugged hopelessly. “She looks pretty far along.”
“Oh my god, Maria,” Tess whispered. “She’s . . .”
“Yeah.”
“And it’s . . . it’s Michael’s?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t stick around to find out,” she admitted. “But why else would she be back?”
“Well . . . her dad just died,” Tess pointed out. “Maybe she’s here to visit Max.”
“Then why is she visiting Michael?” It was a nice theory, but it made no sense, and Maria had to be realistic.
“I don’t know. I’m just trying to think of something. Oh god.”
Maria nodded, understanding. This was the best friend’s role, see the glass half full when it was clearly half empty. Or maybe even seventy-five percent empty. It was bad. “How’d he sound on the phone?” she asked.
“Kind of upset,” Tess confessed. “I think he just wants to talk to you.”
“I can’t talk to him right now.”
“Are you mad at him?”
“No, I just . . .” She was mad, but not at Michael. She was mad at life. “I’m too worked up, and worried. And this whole thing’s really complicated no matter how you look at it. I mean, this is Isabel. This is Isabel Evans.” She shook her head in contempt. “I hate her.”
“Just try to think positive,” Tess suggested.
“Easier said than done,” Maria muttered. “God, it’s like this whole thing just came out of nowhere. Michael and I are so happy. We’re so happy, Tess.”
“I know. Come here.” Her friend opened up her arms and pulled her in close for a hug. Maria let more tears roll down, but she refused to start doing the shaking, wailing kind of crying she wanted to do.
“Nothing’s gonna change,” Tess assured her, stroking her hair. “Everything’s gonna be alright. Everything’s gonna be alright.”
Maria really wanted to believe that. She really wanted to.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Michael lay on the couch that night, the entire living room shrouded in total darkness. This felt wrong. This wasn’t how the night was supposed to end.
All the worries were crowding his brain. He could barely distinguish one from the other. What was this going to do to his life? He was going to have a child who was completely dependent on him to make everything okay, and he couldn’t always do that. He was probably going to have to get a full-time job. College might have to be put on hold. He’d have to baby-proof his entire apartment. Or maybe he’d have to get a new place. Where was the kid going to live, with him or Isabel? Because he wasn’t living with her. He wasn’t going to be with her in that way. But she was going to be in his life now, no matter what. And how would Maria react to that? Maria . . .
He sat up, struggling to contain his emotions. He felt like breaking down and crying. He didn’t care if it was unmanly to cry. He didn’t feel like much of a man in that moment. He felt like an idiot, like a stupid, stupid idiot. He and Isabel weren’t quite statistics at that point—they weren’t having a teenage pregnancy or anything. But they were still young, and he still felt completely unprepared for this.
He raked his hands through his hair and glanced down the hallway at the closed door to his bedroom. He could barely grasp the fact that his ex-girlfriend, his pregnant ex-girlfriend was lying in there right now, probably doing her own fair share of worrying. Although she’d had more time to come to terms with this, so maybe she wasn’t worrying quite as much.
It was supposed to be him and Maria asleep in that bed. They were supposed to be lying close together, naked. He was supposed to have his arms around her. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to be.
The more he sat there and thought about everything, the stuffier and hotter it began to feel in his own apartment. He started to feel like he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe in the place where he lived. He got up and left and went over to Kyle’s and knocked on the door. It was early. He felt a little bad about waking Kyle up, but . . . he had to talk to somebody, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to talk to Maria yet.
Kyle opened the door rubbing his eyes and yawning, wearing a bathrobe and boxers. “Hey,” he greeted sleepily. “What’re you--”
“I’m in trouble, Kyle,” Michael cut in, hearing the panic in his own voice.
“What, did Maria finally break out the handcuffs?” Kyle grinned and chuckled.
Michael brushed past him on his way inside and started to pace back and forth. He turned on a dim light in the living room so he could see.
“Come on in,” Kyle said, shutting the door. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”
He did, but he didn’t even know where to start. He slowed his pacing down until he was just standing there, trying to make sense of everything.
“Well, while you’ve over here, how about we talk about my crappy life for a minute, okay?” Kyle suggested. “So I ran into Liz today. She was just in town for—shocker—Max Evans. She seems to be optimistic about me and Tess, which I don’t get. You know why? ‘Cause luck doesn’t run my way. It’s like a river and it’s flowing in the opposite direction. There is no luck in my life. Clearly I’m the most unlucky person on the entire planet.”
“I’m gonna have a kid,” Michael blurted, saying the words out loud for the first time.
Kyle laughed a little, looking shocked. “What?”
“I’m gonna be a dad.” First time he’d said that out loud, too.
Kyle’s laughter immediately came to an end as he realized that Michael was being serious. “You got Maria pregnant?”
“Not Maria.”
“What, you had another girlfriend?” Kyle’s eyes bulged. “You pulled a Max Evans? Who are you?”
“Isabel,” he tried to explain, but Kyle misunderstood.
“You’re Isabel?”
“No, Isabel’s back and she’s pregnant and she says it’s mine.” Michael took a seat on Kyle’s living room couch. It wasn’t much different from the one he’d been trying to fall asleep on.
“Oh.” Kyle took a moment to let the words sink in, then said, “Holy shit.”
“Great, that helps.” More blind panic wasn’t exactly what he needed.
“Sorry, but . . .” Kyle sat down beside him and asked, “Are you serious?”
“No, I’m joking. This is the kind of thing I joke about. It’s very funny.”
Kyle nodded. “You’re serious. Wow.” He kept opening and closing his mouth, but very few words came out. “I don’t know what to say,” he admitted. “Now, when you say Isabel’s back . . .”
“I mean, she’s back. She’s asleep in my bed right now,” Michael told him.
“Whoa, that’s gotta bring back memories.”
It did, but not particularly good ones.
“So she’s really . . .” Kyle circled his arms around his stomach, indicating a big pregnant belly.
“Yes.”
“Is she about to pop?”
“She says she’s got a month and a half left.”
“Jesus,” Kyle swore. “And it’s really yours?”
Michael shrugged helplessly. “That’s what she’s saying.”
“Well, of course that’s what she’s saying, but you have every reason to doubt her,” Kyle reminded him.
“I know, but I think she’s telling the truth this time.” It was either that or Isabel was one hell of an actress. She’d fooled him once, made him think she was faithful to him, but he knew what it was like to be lied to by her now. He knew, and he liked to think that he wouldn’t fall for her lies again.
“Yeah, but is it even possible?” Kyle wondered aloud.
“She’s seven and a half months along. Do the math,” he snapped impatiently. “Sorry, I don’t mean to . . .”
“No, no, please, you have every reason to be on edge.”
Michael sighed heavily, still sort of hoping that this wasn’t really happening. But that hope was quickly vanishing. “What am I gonna do?”
“Oh, I have no idea,” Kyle admitted. “I think you need to find out for sure if this is your kid, though, ‘cause you can’t take her word on it. And if it is . . . well . . .” He shrugged. “I’m not gonna lie; this would’ve been better if it’d been you and Maria.”
“Yeah, and what about me and Maria?” This was one of the things that worried him more than all the rest. “What does this mean for us?”
“Wish I could tell you.”
“This just . . .” Things had been going perfectly for them. Why did this have to happen?
“Have you told her yet?” Kyle inquired.
“She was there with me when . . . she saw Isabel, but she left and now she’s with Tess and . . .” He trailed off again and shook his head in admission. “I haven’t told her.”
“Well, that’s the first thing you gotta do,” Kyle said, assuming the role of the rational friend for once. “And it’s probably gonna suck, but . . . she’ll stand by you.”
“I hope so.” He couldn’t do this without Maria. He needed her to be his strength, because he suddenly felt as though he didn’t have any.
“Just so you know, I take back everything I said about my luck, okay?” Kyle added as an afterthought.
Michael didn’t say anything.
Kyle nodded sympathetically. “Okay.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Michael managed to get a few hours of sleep on Kyle’s couch that night. Waking up was pretty hard to do. He didn’t want to deal with everything he had to deal with, but he knew he had to.
He went back to his apartment at 8:00 in the morning. Isabel was awake, much to his surprise. She’d always been more of a night person than a morning person.
“Good morning,” she greeted perkily.
It wasn’t a good morning, not for him. “Hey,” he returned, surveying her questioningly. She was sitting on the living room floor wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. She was tying her sneakers. Since when did Isabel own sneakers? Her long, blonde hair was up in a pony-tail, too. New look for her.
“You work out now?” he asked.
“Yeah.” She finished tying her shoes and brought her legs out to the side, sitting there in a straddle position. “Exercise is good for pregnant women,” she said as she reached both her arms out towards her right foot. She couldn’t stretch all that far with that pregnant belly in the way. “It helps you stay in shape and prepare for delivery.” She leaned over to the left then, stretching both arms out towards that foot. “Two birds, one stone. I take a thirty minute walk every day now.”
The old Isabel Evans’s idea of exercise had been riding up and down the escalator during a trip to the mall.
“Walking’s nice,” she went on, stretching both her arms above her head. “It’s doesn’t put too much stress on the joints.”
Michael nodded. “Stress is bad.” Which sucked for him, because he was incredibly stressed out.
“Most definitely.” She curled her legs beneath her and grabbed onto the arm of the couch with one hand, trying to get to her feet. “Wanna help me up?” she asked.
He felt bad for not helping her on his own accord. He made his way to her, held out one hand, and helped pull her up onto her feet. She was heavy.
“Thanks,” she said, giving his hand a squeeze before letting go of it. “You know, you can come with me if you want.”
He didn’t have the energy to walk for three minutes, let alone thirty. “No, that’s okay,” he said. “I think I’m gonna go . . . see Maria.”
“Right,” she said, smiling. “Well, have fun.” She slipped past him and started for the door with a surprising bounce in her step. For some reason, he expected her to be tired and cranky. She seemed like she was in a great mood, no worries whatsoever. He supposed that was a good thing. Stress was bad.
She stopped a mere foot from the door and turned around to look at him. She just . . . looked him over.
“What?” he asked.
“Nothing, it’s just . . .” She shrugged. “You and Maria. I never would’ve pictured it. I mean, talk about an odd couple.”
He was well aware of the fact that he and Maria didn’t seem like a match on the surface. But they were. “We make each other happy,” he said.
“I’m sure. And judging by the skirts and dresses in your closet, she’s not only girlfriend; she’s also your roommate. Either that or you’re keeping quite the dramatic transgender secret.” She laughed a little.
“She lives here,” he informed her. “Since October.”
“Wow. And you two have been dating this whole time?”
They’d only been dating since New Year’s. It wasn’t fair. They’d only had a month and half of pure, uninterrupted dating. “That’s really none of your business,” he snapped.
“Okay. Relax. I was just asking.”
He wished she would stop. His relationship with Maria was private. Or, it wasn’t really private considering how many public places they’d had sex in, but it wasn’t something Isabel needed to know about.
“You know, you being back here doesn’t mean we’re gonna get back together,” he said, taking a few steps towards her. “I’m with Maria. I’m gonna continue to be with Maria.” Nothing was going to change that.
“I wouldn’t expect anything else from you,” she said. “You’re a good guy, Michael. You always do the right thing.”
He always tried.
“And for the record,” she went on, “Michael . . . I’m happy you and Maria found each other. I’m glad you were able to move on.”
It’d certainly taken him long enough. Too long. He wished now he hadn’t wasted so much time figuring out his own feelings. “Enjoy your walk,” he muttered, backing away from her.
“I will,” she said, opening the door. “Tell Maria I said hi.”
He flinched when the door slammed shut. He was going to have to tell Maria lot of things, and he was dreading every second of it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Michael went to Tess’s that morning, not long after Isabel had left for her walk. He didn’t even change his clothing. He was kind of gross. But he wanted to get this over with sooner rather than later. The longer he put it off, the worse it was going to be.
He trudged up the stairs and down the third floor hallway of The Links complex. Tess was just walking out the door when he got there.
“Hey,” he said. “Is she still here?”
“Yeah,” Tess replied slowly. “She’s not doing so good.”
“Neither am I.”
Tess nodded in understanding. “So Isabel’s really . . .”
“Yeah.”
“And judging by that look on your face . . .” She trailed off and looked at him sympathetically. “I’m sorry. Or . . . congratulations?” She wrinkled her forehead in confusion.
“I don’t know,” he admitted.
“Well . . . congratulations,” she decided. “I’m on my way to work now, so . . . good luck.” She gave him a pat on the shoulder.
“Thanks,” he said, gently pushing open the door to her apartment as she walked away. Before he stepped inside, though, she ran back up to him and threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly, supportively. He hugged her back, thankful for that, and then she left without a word. He’d needed that. He needed his friends. He needed the people who were close to him to stay close to him throughout all of this.
“Maria?” he said when he slipped inside and shut the door. “Maria?” He caught sight of her at the end of the hallway. She was sitting in one of the bedrooms on the bed, just sitting there with all the blinds pulled. The room was dark. He made his way down the hallway to the bedroom and stood in the doorway.
She glanced up at him, looking so . . . small and quiet. “Hey,” she choked out, her voice unusually high-pitched.
“Hey,” he returned, feeling his entire body start to go limp. Around her, he didn’t have to try to be strong and upright. All his emotions were evident in his voice.
She averted her eyes from him and looked down at her lap. “You don’t have to say anything,” she mumbled.
So she already knew. It was probably pretty obvious. He walked into the bedroom and sat down beside her on the side of the bed, sighing in distress.
“What’re we gonna do?” she asked softly.
“I don’t know,” he replied honestly. “She’s tellin’ me it’s mine, but I don’t even know if I should believe her.”
She lifted her head to look at him again. “Do you?”
He did. He really did. “Yeah. I know she’s a bad person, but I don’t think she’d lie about this.”
“Neither do I,” Maria admitted.
“But we’ll get a paternity test, of course.” There was no harm in making sure.
“Of course.” There were tears brimming in her eyes, threatening to spill over. He saw them, and he felt horrible, because he knew he was the reason why they were there.
“I’m sorry,” he choked out, his own tears finally falling out. He’d tried so hard to keep them in.
“Why?”
“Because I . . . I don’t know what to do,” he cried. “I’m tryin’ not to freak out, but I’m twenty-one years old. I’m not ready to be a dad.” Unfortunately, he didn’t have a choice in the matter. “And I know I’m not a kid, and I know I can take care of myself. But I don’t know if I can take care of someone else.”
She placed a reassuring hand on his lap and said, “You take care of me.”
“No, I don’t. You take care of me.” She was the one who had gotten him to start painting again and get over Isabel. She was the one who’d shown him what love really was. “I need you, Maria,” he said in a rush. “I need you.” He clenched his jaw shut and tried to keep it together, but everything was falling apart. “I’m so scared.”
“Oh, Michael.” She enveloped him in her arms, pulling him close and holding him against her as sobs shook his body. He pressed his head against her shoulder and let his tears soak into her as she stroked his hair. “I’m so scared,” he repeated, his words barely intelligible now. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
She just kept holding him as though to tell him it wasn’t his fault.
He pulled away slowly so he could look at her when he said, “I love you, Maria.” These weren’t the circumstances under which he wanted the words to come out. He’d wanted to tell her last night after making love to her. But he couldn’t not say them now.
She stared at him with wide, astonished, heartbroken eyes and said in response, “I love you.”
That was all he needed to hear. He leaned against her again and let the rest of the tears fall. “I’m sorry,” he kept saying, feeling as though he could never say it enough. “I’m sorry, Maria.”
TBC . . . (Next Monday!)
-April
if you want. And that's actually at the very beginning of this part. Love the lyrics of this song.