Sara: I really feel bad for Michael here...I wouldn't like having my ex and his new GF over to my house for dinner. What an uncomfortable situation. I appreciate Sarah's intentions but I think she needs to not do that anymore.
Yeah, while Sarah has totally good intentions here . . . it's very uncomfortable for Michael. Having Maria there is awkward. Having Max there, a guy who he hates more than anything, a guy who he had to watch abduct Dylan from his own house . . . that's something else entirely.
And I also feel Max was a little too attentive with Sarah....my imagination?
Yes, your imagination. He's just focusing on being nice to her because it's a lot easier to do that than to be nice to Michael.
Carolyn: was this the most awkward dinner, or what??
Yeah, it was pretty awkward!
Thanks for reading and leaving feedback!
Part 25
From the moment Tess got up, she felt sick. She spent the wee hours of the morning in the bathroom, then trudged out into the living room, shocked to see that Kyle was awake. And the TV was off. For once, the remote wasn’t even in his hand. He had the laptop out, and his eyes were transfixed to the screen. Her first thought was to assume porn, but she didn’t hear any moaning and groaning.
“What’re you doing?” she asked.
He didn’t answer, so she had to get closer to look down at the screen. He was on that Custom Ink site, and he was designing a t-shirt for . . . the Bulldogs? Who were the Bulldogs?
“What’s that for?” she asked.
“The team,” he answered vaguely.
Even though she was tired, her brain was still functioning well enough to piece it together. The Bulldogs were the youth football team at Pound, the one he had helped out with on Friday. He hadn’t said much about it, but Michael and Sarah had both told her that it had gone well.
“Don’t they have jerseys?” she asked.
“Yeah, these are just for the kids to wear . . . whenever,” he explained. “Parents, too.” He changed the font of Bulldogs to something that looked a little more ferocious. And then he started looking through mascot logos to find the perfect bulldog picture. It was definitely going to look good when it was done.
“I like it,” she said, but really, she didn’t care about the shirt. It was the fact that Kyle was
designing the shirt that was notable. He was still sitting on that couch, but at least he was actually
doing something, being productive for a change.
He wasn’t saying much, but there was a little twinkle in his eye, a change in his posture. It was like he was excited about this shirt, or at least about this team. And if he was excited about something, then she was excited, too.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Look at the rack on her, Michael thought as he flipped through the latest issue of
Playboy magazine.
Damn. He wasn’t quite as much of a boob guy as he was an ass man, but regardless, he could appreciate two good bazookas when he saw them.
He was the only one on front desk duty at Haymsworth Hall, and it was turning out to be a boring day. But that wasn’t all bad. If there was no activity, then he had plenty of time to look through his magazine. He’d brought along a couple of old issues, too, just to see if he could make it through the articles this time without becoming . . . distracted.
Someone came up to the front desk, casting a small shadow over the Playmate of the Month, and he didn’t even glance up, assuming it was just another dumb freshman. “We don’t give out condoms,” he said, eyes glued to the page. “Just stamps.”
“Ew.”
He looked up, surprised to see Tess standing there. “What’re you doin’ here?” he asked her.
“Are you looking at
Playboy?”
“Yeah, you got a problem with that?”
“No, as long as Isabel’s not the centerfold.”
“No, it’s . . .” He found the lovely young lady’s name. “Anya Neeze.” His mouth gaped the moment he heard how dirty that sounded. “
Anya Neeze? Are you kidding? That’s fuckin’ perfect!”
“Let me see.” She leaned over the counter and got a look at the unbelievable name. “Hmm. See, this is why parents need to think twice when naming their kids.”
“I was almost Richard,” he informed her.
“Richard?” She made a face of disgust.
“Yeah, but that would’ve been fine, ‘cause then people could’ve called me Dick.”
“Oh, Michael . . . people still called you that,” she assured him, “just not to your face.”
He laughed lightly, closing his magazine. “What’re you doin’ here?” he asked again.
“Oh, just . . . thought I’d stop by,” she said, attempting to sound casual, but in reality, it came off as anything but. “I swung by the apartment first, but Sarah told me you’d be here all afternoon.”
“Yep.” For the life of him, he couldn’t understand why she was wanting to spend any time with him. Tess was his friend and all, but they didn’t hang out one-on-one. Either Kyle or Sarah was always with them. “What’s up?” he prodded, getting the sense that there was a very specific reason for her visit.
“Well . . . I need to talk to you.” She looked in both directions, then suddenly hoisted herself up on top the counter.
“Oh, wow.” He’d never seen anyone attempt this before. She looked like a beached whale. A very tiny beached whale, of course.
“Michael!” she whined, kicking her legs, flailing her arms.
“What’re you doin’?”
“Help me!”
“Uh . . . okay.” He grabbed her arms and pulled her over with ease. “There you go.”
“Thanks,” she said, pulling up a chair next to him.
“You know, there’s a door,” he pointed out as she sat down.
“Shut up.” She whacked him on the arm playfully and took a minute to fix her hair. She wasn’t technically supposed to be back there, but he figured it was no big deal. Clearly she was desperate for company.
“So . . .” he said leadingly. This was weird. Something was up, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.
“So . . . I was just wondering if Kyle had said anything to you about the next football practice.”
He made a face, not sure where she was going with this. “Not much,” he answered. “Just that he’d be at the next one.”
“Good,” she said. “That’s good, don’t you think?”
“It is good.” He wasn’t delusional enough to think that this pee-wee football team was going to fix all of his friend’s problems, but at least it was getting him interested in something again.
“You know what he was doing this morning?” she said.
“What?” Hopefully not diagraming any football plays. These boys could barely handle the whole whopping
three plays they’d worked on Friday.
“He was designing a t-shirt,” she informed him. “A Bulldogs t-shirt. Did you ask him to do that?”
“No.” Now that he thought of it, though, that was a good idea. “Huh.”
“Yeah.” There was a sparkle in her eyes for a moment, like she was feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time. “I think he’s really getting into it.”
“That’s great.” That had been the goal.
“I wish you guys had more than two games.”
“Yeah, I know.” Maybe if he’d been the one to coach this right from the start, then he could have gotten Kyle involved with it back in September.
“It’s still good, though,” she said. “It’s really good.”
He kept waiting for her to say more, because somehow, he doubted that she’d come all the way to campus just to have
this conversation.
She exhaled heavily, looking down at her lap, and he just sat there and waited it out, figuring she’d say whatever was on her mind at one point or another. Until then . . . he reached for his magazine again, but just as he was about to open it, she blurted something out that shocked the hell out of him.
“I’m pregnant.”
He froze, trying to figure out if he’d heard her right.
Pregnant, pregnant . . . What rhymed with pregnant? Maybe . . . stagnant? She was stagnant?
“Michael?”
He set the magazine back down, slowly turning to face her. “You’re . . .” Looking down at her stomach, he couldn’t help but think that she still
looked small, her normal size. Not at all like she had a bun in the oven.
“I’m pregnant,” she said again, and this time, he noticed the tears in her eyes.
Holy shit, he thought, trying to process it. Tess had a kid in there. He was going to be Uncle Michael. “Oh my god, congratulations,” he said, snapping himself out of his stupor long enough to hug her.
“Thanks,” she said, but he could feel tears against the side of his neck.
He pulled back, staring at her with concern. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she said, wiping off her cheeks. “It’s just . . . I’m emotional.”
“Right.” Steve had told him horror stories about pregnancy hormones. Luckily for him, Cheryl was scheduled to pop this week.
“
Wow,” he said, still taking it all in. “How did you . . .” The more he thought about it, the more confused he became. “I mean, can Kyle . . .” There was really no good way to phrase what he was trying to ask.
Thankfully, she just understood. “He’s not completely paralyzed,” she reminded him. “He can still . . .” Instead of saying it, she jerked her hand upward dramatically.
“Right. I didn’t even know you guys had sex, though.”
“Well, it doesn’t happen very often,” she admitted, “which is why I kinda . . . got sporadic with my birth control pill. That was obviously a big mistake.”
“A mistake?” he echoed, confused. As far as he knew, Tess had drawn up a list of baby names after her second date with Kyle. She’d been thinking about this for a while.
“I mean . . . I don’t mean it like that,” she corrected. “It’s just . . . I’m scared.”
“Why?” he asked. Wasn’t this ultimately what she wanted?
“I just didn’t think this was gonna happen,” she fretted as a few more tears fell. “Or I thought, when it did, I’d be ready for it.”
“You’re not ready?”
“I don’t—I don’t know,” she stuttered, crying a little harder now. “I’m twenty years old; I’m a part-time cheer coach. My fiancé has been my fiancé for over two years. He spends most of his time on the couch, and I spend most of my time being mad at him. We’re broke, we’re distant, we’re--”
“Meant to be together,” he cut in. Despite how tough things had become for them in recent years, he still remembered the Tess and Kyle from high school, the golden couple.
“But we’re not . . . happy,” she whimpered, shaking her head. “We’re not happy, Michael.”
He frowned, starting to understand why this was more serious than he’d thought. Sure, Tess had wanted a baby with Kyle back when he’d still been . . .
him. But nowadays, now that he was this shell of himself, she didn’t necessarily want that anymore.
“Does he know?” Michael asked.
She sniffed back tears, wiping her nose with her hand. “No. And you can’t tell him.”
He groaned, knowing that would be hard.
“Michael, promise,” she pleaded.
“I promise.” He didn’t exactly like keeping secrets from the guy he thought of as a brother, but this wasn’t his news to tell. “Who else knows?”
“Just you and Sarah.”
“Sarah?” he echoed. “She didn’t say anything.”
“Because I asked her not to. But last week after yoga, I told her I thought I might be, so she went with me and got the test.”
“Huh.” She hadn’t let on at all. As tight-lipped as she had been, that was how tight-lipped he was going to have to be around Kyle now.
“I’m glad you know, though,” she said.
“Yeah.” He was glad, too. “Why’d you tell me?”
“Because you’re my friend,” she replied simply. “And you’re Kyle’s friend. And maybe you could do a little digging and figure out if it’s a good time for me to tell him.”
“Wait, what?” That sounded like something that required subtlety, and he didn’t have any of that.
“Just figure out when he’s in the right headspace for me to tell him,” she said. “I don’t wanna upset him.”
“You think he’ll be upset?” For some reason, he’d pictured Kyle being happy about this. He’d pictured a renewed sense of purpose for him, a new mission in life. Once upon a time, it had been about being a great football player; now maybe it could be about being a great father.
“I don’t know how he’ll feel,” Tess admitted. “I don’t even know how I feel.”
“You’re nervous,” he said, “but that’s alright. It’ll be fine.”
She blinked back tears and nodded, not completely convincing in her agreement, but it was better than nothing.
“Come here,” he said, putting his arm around her, hugging her to his side. He wasn’t about to admit it, but now he felt a little nervous, too. This coaching gig he’d given Kyle suddenly had higher stakes attached to it. At this point, it couldn’t
just help him out; it had to get him back on track.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Alright, here’s your backpack,” Maria said, handing Dylan a bag that was practically as big as he was. He loved it, though, because it was shaped like Buzz Lightyear. Anything Buzz or dinosaurs or cars, he was all over it.
“Thanks,” he said, swinging it onto his shoulders like a little pro. “Bye, Mom!” he chirped, scampering away from the car.
“Bye.” She watched him go, getting all nostalgic for the early days of kindergarten when he’d let her hold his hand and walk him inside. “Have a good day!”
He had already caught up to a group of friends, and together, they jabbered as they headed inside the school building.
He’s not a little boy anymore, she thought, wondering what it would be like next year. There would probably come a day when he was so eager to see his friends that he just forgot to say bye to her altogether. That day was going to suck.
She looked to her right, where another mom was dropping her little boy off for the day. He was even smaller than Dylan, maybe in preschool. But the mom was clearly older. Not
old by any means, but older than Maria herself was. Most every other mom had a good five or six years on her at the very
least. Sometimes she wondered if they saw her and thought she might be Dylan’s older sister or something.
Nobody probably even cares, she reminded herself, giving a quick, friendly little smile to the other mom as her little boy walked off on his own, too.
“They grow up so fast,” the other mom said.
“Yeah,” Maria agreed.
“Have a good day.”
“You, too.” She walked back around to the driver’s side and got back in the car, twisting the key in the ignition. She didn’t drive off, though, because something was eating away at her. Seeing all these children and all these moms, it made her think about somebody else who was going to be a mom, somebody who was going to be an even younger mom than her.
God, she hated to think of all the hardships Tina was going to have to go through. She hated the judgment and the struggle and the tears she was going to have to deal with. And what made it all even worse was that Tina was a smart girl. Before this, she’d been a honor roll student, never turned in a late assignment. She’d always been fixated on being popular, but when had that crossed the line into being reckless?
Maria raked one hand through her hair, agonizing over her own feeling of guilt and sympathy. There was so much she wanted to say to Tina, so much she
could say. But she really did believe it was a family matter, so what if it wasn’t her right to get involved?
She sighed heavily. Then again . . . Michael had asked her. So maybe if she did, it would just be . . . a favor. And maybe some good would come of it.
Oh, please don’t let me regret this, she thought, driving away from the curb. She was supposed to head to campus for a morning class, and then she had a list of errands to fill up the rest of her day. But they could wait.
She drove in the opposite direction of campus, only taking out her cell phone when she was stopped at a red light. She pressed the speed dial number for Max and waited for him to pick up. It took a while, which meant he was busy at work today.
“Hey,” he finally answered.
“Hey.” The light turned green, and she and the other cars slowly rolled forward, only to be stopped at another red light on the next block. “I was wondering if you could pick up Dylan today,” she said.
“Sure,” he said. “Why?”
She wet her lips, reluctant to tell him the truth about what she intended to do today. But she had to tell him something. “I think I’m gonna head up to Roswell today,” she said. “My mom called and mentioned something about having a lot of work to do at her store, so I figured she could use some help.” She cringed, thinking that this was the worst excuse in the history of excuses, due to the fact that she never voluntarily spent time with her mom.
“Well, that’s nice of you,” Max said. “But are you sure you want to?”
“Yeah. You know, we haven’t really talked since Halloween, and she wasn’t too happy with me, so maybe this’ll give us the chance to clear the air.”
“Right,” Max said. “Well, have fun.”
“Thanks.” Fun? No, this wasn’t going to be fun. Even if she really
was going to spend the day with her mom, fun would not be a possibility. “I’ll see you later then, probably not until sometime this evening.”
“Alright,” he said. “Bye. Love you.”
Oh, I should’ve told the truth, she thought, but it was too late for that now. “Love you, too.” She ended the call and set her phone down in the passenger’s seat, driving forward once she had another green light. One she got past that one, it was open highway. Now she had an hour-long drive through deserts and small towns ahead of her.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“I can’t believe you kept it a secret from me,” Michael said as he and Sarah strolled past the fountain outside the Student Union.
“It really wasn’t that hard,” she said as she labored under the weight of her heavy backpack. “Tess asked me not to say anything, so I didn’t.”
“Now I have to keep it a secret from Kyle.”
“Oh, not for long,” she assured him. “She’ll tell him soon.”
“You think?” She’d seemed more than a little reluctant to him.
“Probably,” Sarah said, groaning as her backpack started to slide down her shoulders.
Michael reached over and held up the bottom of it, helping her to get it readjusted.
“Thanks,” she said.
“It’s just crazy,” he went on. “I didn’t even know they were still doin’ it.”
“Well . . . I think Tess does most of the work. Kyle pretty much just lays there.”
“Yeah.” He made a face as he started to visualize things he didn’t at all want to visualize. “It’s crazy. My best friend’s gonna be a dad. He’s gonna have a kid.”
“Sure is.”
“Everyone’s gettin’ pregnant lately. Cheryl, Tess, Tina . . .”
“Must be something in the water,” she agreed. “I’d better watch out. Maybe you should wear
two condoms now.” When he gave her a stunned look, she laughed. “Just kidding.”
“I was gonna say, screw that. There’s a limit.” One was bad enough.
Sarah was clearly still struggling to carry her heavy backpack, so he stopped walking, reached over, and slid it down off her shoulders for her. He slung it up onto his own back, carrying his bag on one shoulder now, hers on the other. No sense in making her do it. The girl was, like, 5’2”. This thing practically weighed more than she did.
“Oh, that’s better,” she said, walking freely now. “You’re such a stud.”
“I know.” Truth was, though, both these bags together were feeling pretty heavy. He needed to hit the weight room again pronto.
“Do you think Tess and Kyle are gonna be okay?” she asked him as they continued walking.
“Sure,” he said, wishing he could be one-hundred percent confident about that.
“I think she’s really scared to tell him,” Sarah revealed.
“Why?”
“Because it’s—it’s a
baby,” she sputtered. “It’s life-changing. And Kyle’s already had a lot of life-changing things happen to him. I mean, he’s partially paralyzed and depressed. He’s just not been in a very good frame of mind these past few years.”
“So would you be scared to tell me?” he asked, wondering if there was some sort of inherent fear or if Tess and Kyle’s situation just magnified it.
“No,” she said, before changing her mind. “Maybe a little bit.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re twenty-one and you’re a guy.”
“So?”
“So it’s just not the kind of thing most twenty-one year old guys wanna hear.”
Fair enough, she had him there. But he’d heard it before, and it hadn’t freaked him out then.
“But then again,” she reconsidered, “you’re not the typical twenty-one year old guy. You’ve been in that dad role before, so I feel like I could tell you pretty easily.”
He smiled, happy to hear that. But just to be sure anyway, he asked, “You’re
not pregnant, right?”
“No. Actually, I just got my period this morning.”
“Ugh.” He made a face, knowing and dreading what that meant. “So no sex for me this week, huh?”
“Nope.”
“Damn.” Personally, he was down for it, but Sarah got really self-conscious. “Blow-jobs?” he asked hopefully.
Smiling, she rolled her eyes at his horniness. “Yes.”
“Alright, I’m good then.” Given all these pregnancies that were popping up, sampling the sausage was probably the way to go anyway.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Maria braced herself for a trip down memory lane from the moment she left Carlsbad. She hadn’t been to Roswell since she’d left, but she’d always known this day would come. Whether it had been to go visit her mom or maybe just to drive on through, she’d always known she would have to go back to Roswell someday.
It hit her full force from the moment she hit the city limits. There was the Lift-Off gas station, where she’d applied for a job but had been turned down. And there was the outer space themed McDonald’s where Michael’s dad had worked for a very,
very short time before getting fired.
She drove further into town, passing by West Roswell high school and a few blocks later, the library where she used to work with Krista. And then there was the coffee shop where Michael had convinced her to sing on Mother’s Day. That was where it had all gone wrong, in retrospect. If she hadn’t gotten up there for open mic night, she never would have left town to do any other performances. And Michael wouldn’t have had to take care of Dylan on his own.
She drove down to Paseo del Norte and up to the familiar house that had never felt quite like a home. Her mom was the only one living there now, unless she and Jim Valenti were back together. They’d had an on-off thing for years now, so anything was possible.
She didn’t stop at her mom’s house, even though her mom wasn’t home. It was just too painful to be there, not only because of the memories of all the fights that they had had, but because that was the exact spot where she’d had to say goodbye to Michael, the exact road she’d driven off on two and half long years ago. It just hurt too much.
She ended up back on the main drag, bypassing the Blue Moon bar and E.T.’s Pizzeria, and there was the Crashdown. It looked repainted, but other than that . . . exactly the same.
Pulling into a parking space out front, she couldn’t help but be nostalgic. As much as she had hated that job, it really had kept her afloat financially. And in the end, even though she hadn’t known it at the time . . . working there had changed her life.
There really was no reason to get out of the car and go inside, but she did.
Familiar sights and smells greeted her. It wasn’t quite time for lunch yet, so it wasn’t very busy. These were the kind of boring shifts that used to make Maria itch with the desire to leave. But now that she was back . . . it didn’t seem so bad. She actually even felt kind of hungry.
She looked back into the kitchen, hoping to see her old friend Jose, the cook. But it was someone she didn’t recognize, along with someone she did. Liz’s dad, Jeff Parker, was at the grill. When he caught sight of her, he recognized her immediately. “Maria!” he called. “Good to see you.”
“Hi, Mr. Parker.” She walked up to the counter, figuring she wasn’t allowed to go around anymore.
“Well, come on over here,” he said, halfway hanging out the order window.
“Oh, okay.” She made her way to him, almost feeling like she was going back in time. Being back here made it seem like it wasn’t all that long ago that she’d actually worked there. If she put on a uniform, she was pretty certain she could waitress just like she used to.
“How are you doing?” Jeff asked her.
“I’m doing good,” she replied.
“Back in town, huh?”
“Just for today.”
“Yeah. Well, Lizzie tells me the two of you have become pretty close friends.”
“Yeah.” It was probably a bit odd for most people to comprehend, since they both had a child with Max. But she and Liz had always gotten along well, and there was absolutely no jealousy or animosity there.
“That’s great,” Jeff said. “That’s great. Well, it’s good to see you again. Are you gonna stay and eat?”
“Um, sure.”
“Excellent. Go ahead and have a seat. It’s on me today.”
“Oh, you don’t have to--”
“It’s on me,” he reiterated.
She smiled at him and headed back out into the diner. There really was no question as to where she was going to sit. Her feet took her over there automatically.
“Instead of milk, could you get me a beer?” he’d asked.
Right away, she’d known he wasn’t old enough, but she’d decided to play along. “Sure. Anything else?”
“That’s it. Thanks . . .” He looked at her nametag, then flashed her a grin that had probably made countless girls go weak in the knew. “Maria.”
She pushed the memory out of her mind.
God, how many times had Michael come into this place and sat down right there in that booth? Sometimes he’d been with Kyle, sometimes with Isabel, sometime with Tina; but most of the time, he’d just come in on his own. And always, every single time, he’d sat in that same booth along the north wall, the one that was in the middle of all the others.
She sat down opposite the side he usually sat on, and an incredible feeling of
déjà vu swept over her. Even though she’d usually been waiting on him, she’d spent plenty of break time sitting here with him, just talking to him, trying to figure out who he was and what his life was about. She remembered helping him study and watching him begrudgingly fill out his college application for Alabama. And she remembered . . . other stuff, too. Like a first kiss, and a first . . .
Well. She didn’t need to be remembering that.
“Welcome to the Crashdown. Can I get you something to drink?”
That voice. She recognized that crackling smoker’s voice before she even looked up to see who it was. “Agnes?” Good God, she was still working there?
“Yes?”
“It’s me.”
No response.
“Maria.”
Agnes just looked at her as though she had no idea who she was.
“We worked together for a year.”
Agnes shrugged unapologetically. “I don’t remember you.”
Maria sighed, deflated. “Just get me a coke then,” she mumbled.
With that same trademark
lack of customer service she’d always had, Agnes slowly crept off to fill her up a drink.
With her gone, Maria was left with her memories again, and this time, she remembered that fateful day when Michael had defended her. Those greasy trucker guys she used to hate waiting on had been giving her a hard time, and he’d stood up for her, protected her, even punched them out for her. She’d been so angry with him at the time, because the whole thing had caused a scene and gotten her fired. But looking back on it now . . . she really did feel grateful.
After gorging on a cheeseburger and fries for lunch, Maria said goodbye to Jeff, who made her promise to come back sometime, and Agnes, who apparently wasn’t too concerned about a tip because she just rolled her eyes at her. She got back in her car and drove around a little bit more, trying to work up the courage to turn onto those old, familiar streets that would lead her to that old, familiar house.
It dawned on her as she got closer that Krista and Tina might not even be home. It was a weekday, after all. Tina would most likely be at school, and Krista would most likely be at work. She didn’t work at the library anymore. She remembered Michael telling her that.
Deciding to chance it, she slowly pulled up outside the Guerin house, noticing that her fingers were shaking. Her heart was pounding, and her mind had gone completely blank as she tried very hard not to remember much at all.
With trembling fingers, she shut off the car and pulled the key out of the ignition. A car she recognized as Krista’s was in the driveway, so maybe she was home after all. It was worth a shot.
Maria got out of the car, took a deep breath to calm herself, and headed up to the front door.
Don’t think, she coached herself.
Don’t remember. But it was so hard not to when all she could hear was Michael’s
“I hate you” ringing in her ears. They’d been standing right out there in the front yard, fighting about her decision to leave when he’d said it.
She tried the doorbell, but it didn’t seem to work anymore, so she knocked instead. In a way, it felt weird to not just walk right in. But in another way, it just felt weird to be back there at all.
She heard someone coming downstairs, and seconds later, the door unlocked, and Krista opened it. She literally gasped when she saw Maria standing there, as if she were seeing a ghost or something.
Maria smiled softly, not sure what to say to the woman who had almost become her mother-in-law. “Hi.”
Mouth agape, Krista managed a stunned, “Hi,” in response. She held one hand to her chest and kept staring at Maria in disbelief. At last, though, she smiled, too, and she stepped outside to hug her. “Oh, goodness,” she said. “How are you?”
Maria hugged her back, blinking to keep the tears inside. “I’m good.” It was strange, but even though seeing Michael after years apart had terrified her, seeing Krista just made her realize how much she’d missed her.
Krista slowly released her, smiling tearfully. “I never thought I’d see you again,” she admitted. “You look exactly the same.”
“So do you.” That wasn’t completely true, though. There was more grey in her hair now, more wrinkles beneath her eyes. But she still looked warm and compassionate and seemed to have all the same qualities Maria had always admired about her.
“Well, come on in,” Krista said, stepping back inside, holding the door open.
“Thanks.” Maria stepped inside nervously, her heart nearly beating out of her chest. She looked around and felt like she was just . . . back. Back to that time in her life when this house had become her sanctuary, her safe haven from everything out there in the big, bad world.
“Can I get you something to eat?” Krista offered as she closed the door. “Something to drink?”
“Oh, I’m good. Thanks,” Maria politely declined, still focused on taking in her surroundings. Nothing much had changed. The kitchen looked the same, the living room had the same setup. Except there were no pictures of Andy anymore. The only photos she saw on the end table and on the fireplace mantle were of Tina, Michael, and Krista.
“Go ahead, sit down,” Krista said, motioning towards the couch.
“Okay.” Maria wiped her sweaty palms on the front of her jeans and took a seat on the middle cushion, fighting to keep the memories from invading her mind. Right now, it was mainly the memory of Christmas with Michael, sitting there right on that couch with him, playing her guitar, singing a song that would now
always make her think of him. She couldn’t let those overcome her right now, though, not if she wanted to be able to carry on a comprehensible conversation.
“It’s so good to see you,” Krista said, sitting beside her.
“You, too.”
“I just really never thought . . .” Krista trailed off and smiled at her again. “How have you been?” she asked. “How’s Dylan?”
“He’s great,” Maria happily informed her. “He’s in kindergarten now.”
Krista brought one hand up to cover her mouth, and for a brief moment, she got a little teary-eyed. “Wow.”
“I know, right?”
“It seems like just yesterday we were having his birthday party, and he was turning three.”
“I know.” Time really had flown right by. “But he’s doing really good. He likes school, and he likes his teacher. He likes playing football.”
“Oh, does he?”
“Yeah.” At this rate, he’d probably keep playing all through high school. Maybe he’d even end up being as good as his coach. It was too early to tell.
“And what about you?” Krista asked. “What have you been up to?”
“Well . . .” It was nice to be able to tell her all of this. “I’m in college.”
Again, Krista’s eyes filled with tears. “Did you get your GED?” she asked tearfully.
“Yeah.”
She wiped a few tears away and gave her a quick, proud hug again. “Good for you.”
“Thank you.” None of this would have been possible without Krista. If she hadn’t agreed to let her live with them . . . well, it was scary to think about what might have happened to her, what kind of person she might have become.
“So where did you go when you left?” Krista questioned gently. “I always wondered.”
“It was just all around for a while,” Maria replied. “But eventually I settled down in Houston.”
“Oh, that’s a big city.”
“Yeah. But I liked it there.”
“Yeah? So what—what’re you doing back here then? Are you visiting your mom?”
“Um . . .” Maria moved around a bit, sort of confused. “Didn’t Michael tell you?”
“Michael?” Krista echoed. “What do you mean?”
Oh, shit. She had just assumed that Krista would know. “I, uh . . . I’m going to college in Carlsbad,” she explained. “Michael and I actually have a class together.”
Krista’s eyes widened in shock. “
What?”
“Yeah, a music one.”
“Michael’s in a music class?”
“Music Appreciation?” Was this ringing any kind of bell?
Apparently not. “Well, this is news to me,” Krista said. “No, he, uh . . . he didn’t tell me about any of that. I had no idea.”
“Well . . . surprise.” She tried to laugh a little.
“Wow,” Krista said as she processed it. “So . . . so you and Michael have seen each other again?”
We sit by each other every day in that class, Maria thought, suddenly wondering if there was something wrong with that. “Yeah, we have.”
“What’s that been like?”
“Well . . . it was weird at first,” she admitted. “It’s still kinda weird. But he introduced me to Sarah. We even went over there for dinner Saturday night.”
“We?” Krista echoed. “You and Dylan?”
Oh, crap. She just kept putting her foot in her mouth, didn’t she? “No, me and . . . and Max,” she stuttered weakly.
“Max.” Krista let that name roll over her tongue, and she remembered who he was right away. “That’s Dylan’s father, isn’t it?”
Maria subtly wiped her hands on her jeans again. “Yeah.”
Krista didn’t say anything in response to that, but Maria could tell what she was thinking.
That’s the man who took Dylan out of this house and drove off with him. That man is the reason why Michael jumped off a bridge.
“Sarah invited us,” Maria added, just to shift the topic away from Max. “She seems really nice. I can see why Michael likes her.”
“Oh, yes, she’s amazing,” Krista readily agreed. “Smart girl. Driven.”
Both things I’ve just never quite been able to be, Maria thought regretfully. She wasn’t going to get down on herself, though. Today wasn’t about her. “Hey, so listen,” she said, “Michael told me some things that have . . . changed since I’ve been gone.”
“He told you about Andy,” Krista guessed.
“Yeah.” It didn’t matter if the man had been a miserable alcoholic; he’d still been Krista’s husband and Michael and Tina’s dad. “I’m so sorry.”
“Thank you,” Krista said. “It was hard time, especially for Tina. Michael’s handled it alright, though.”
“And about Tina . . .” she carefully segued. “Michael told me she’s . . .” She trailed off, not wanting to say the word.
“He told you?”
“Yeah.”
Krista sighed, looking down at her lap, wiping a few more tears away, sad ones this time. “That’s been especially hard for
me,” she confessed. “We’ve grown pretty distant these past couple years. She’s, uh . . . opinionated and rebellious and . . .” She shrugged helplessly. “Pregnant. She’s pregnant.”
Maria inhaled shakily, not sure if she was going to be able to handle seeing Tina with a baby bump. Or . . . was she far enough along to have a bump yet? She couldn’t remember. “That’s actually why I’m here,” she revealed. “Michael thought it might be a good idea for me to talk to her.”
“Oh, he did, did he?”
“Yeah.”
Maybe I shouldn’t have just shown up out of the blue like this, Maria thought, second-guessing everything now. Clearly this was not a course of action Michael had discussed with his mother. “It’s just that . . . I went through it, you know, when I was just a year older than her. And sometimes talking to someone who’s been through the exact same thing . . .”
“It can help,” Krista agreed.
“Yeah. I mean, if you don’t want me to, I don’t have to. It’s just that Michael made it sound like you guys were having a hard time getting through to her, so maybe . . .” She trailed off, not sure if she was the right person for this job. Half the time, she could hardly put a coherent sentence together. “I don’t know.”
“No, I would be more than willing to have you talk to her,” Krista said. “But she’s very different from when you left. She’s
very different.”
“I get that.” Hell, back when she’d gotten pregnant, she’d been a burgeoning drug-addict and a total party girl. People changed.
“It’s not that we don’t want her to have the baby,” Krista made sure to explain. “We just think she’s too young, and it would be the best decision for her to put it up for adoption.”
“I agree,” Maria said. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love Dylan, but . . . I know my life would’ve been easier if I’d put him up for adoption like I originally planned.”
“What changed your mind?” Krista asked.
“Max.” Maria rolled her eyes at her own adolescent stupidity. “My boyfriend at the time.”
“And current boyfriend,” Krista added.
“Yes.” Again . . . people changed.
“See, that’s the problem,” Krista said. “Tina has a boyfriend, too. His name’s Nicholas; he’s a freshman in high school. She thinks they’re in love.”
Maybe they are, Maria thought, but she wasn’t about to voice it. She totally believed in the possibility of falling in love at a young age, but that still wasn’t any reason to attempt to raise a child together. “Do you think I could talk to her?” she asked. “I’d really like to.”
Krista reached over and held her hands, squeezing gently. “Sure,” she said. “Maybe that might help.”
She sure hoped it would.
She followed Krista upstairs to Tina’s room, and they knocked lightly on the door. “Tina?” Krista said. “She stayed home sick today.”
Morning sickness, Maria registered. She remembered that well.
“Tina?” Krista pushed open the door, and right away, Maria realized something wasn’t right. There was a big, long lump on Tina’s bed, but it was covered up completely with blankets. Clearly not her.
“Tina?” Krista pulled back the blankets, and indeed, there were only a bunch of pillows on her bed, arranged to look like a sleeping person. “Unbelievable,” she muttered.
No, believable, Maria thought. She’d done the exact same thing countless times.
“She snuck out.”
“Probably to her boyfriend’s,” Maria deduced. Where else would she be so desperate to go?
“Unbelievable,” Krista ground out again. “I’m sorry, Maria, I have to go find her.”
“I understand.”
“But you can just wait here,” Krista offered. “Make yourself at home. Shouldn’t be too hard.”
Maria smiled nervously.
No. No, it really shouldn’t.
“I’m gonna go find her and bring her back here,” Krista decided, “and then maybe when I’m done yelling at her, you can talk some sense in to her. I just don’t know what to say to her anymore.”
“Right.” The whole thing was so sad, and so reminiscent of the deterioration of her own relationship with her mother. She didn’t want Tina and Krista to end up being so combative, so estranged.
“I’ll be back,” Krista said, heading back downstairs. In seconds, she seemed to have located her keys, put on her shoes, and headed out.
Maria shut the door to Tina’s room again and stood in the upstairs hallway by herself now, feeling completely . . . tempted. Tempted to open up that next door and look inside at Michael’s room. Just to see if it still looked the same. Just to remember.
She reached for the doorknob, hesitating when her fingertips just barely grazed it.
No, her mind screamed.
Don’t do this. There was just
too much to remember in there.
Stuffing her hand in her pocket, she hurried back downstairs, figuring maybe she could just sit in the laundry room until Krista returned. No major memories in there.
TBC . . .
-April
Cute.