CH 51
Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 10:18 am
OK so I am a horriable horriable person. Its just this part sucks so bad! And I have played with it and played with it..... And it just gets worst and worst so I give up. If it wasn't for the fact that I need it to set up for the next couple of chapters I would just delete! Delete! Delete!
CHAPTER 51
LIZ POV
Gripping onto Michael's shirt as if my life depended on it.
Michael who never lied to me.
Michael who always told me the truth.
"Please." Begging him once more.
Michael the warrior who always protected his friends.
Protected me.
"Michael." Coming out a desperate cry.
Just make it all stop. Just make it stop.
I can't do this. I can't do this.
Words and the their means swirl around in my head.
"Shhh... Liz. I got you. I have you." Michael pulling me tighter. "Your not alone anymore. Your not alone. I'm going to fix this."
Michael. Please......
"I'm going to take care of you. It's all going to be alright now. I promise. I promise. It's all going to be alright now. Its going to be alright."
Michael will help me.
Michael will fix this....
He will stop this.
"I'm here. I'm here. It's going to be OK now. I promise. I promise."
Yes.
Thank you.
Overwhelming release from all feelings and emotions sending me once more into the safety of darkness.
Thank you....
##############################################################
Nothingness cocooned me. Wrapping around me. Loosing my grip on the terror and pain that held me. Making me feel safe once more.
"Michael? Liz?" Max's concerned voice breaking through the edge of my subconscious.
Nikita's low warning growl.
That's it boy. Tell them to let me stay.
"Michael?" Max slightly louder. "Michael, what the hell is going on? What did you do?"
Michael.
Michael would take care of everything.
Michael will keep us all safe.
"Back off Max." Michael growling back.
You tell him Mike.
"NO Michael I'm not." Max using his I am king voice.
"Max. Just back off and let me get Liz settle."
Settled?
I'm fine where I am.
Low warning growl rumbling from Nikita's throat.
"I'm just taking her into the house." Michael's voice coming once more.
Nikita growling once more.
"So what do you suggest? She can't stay out here under the tree forever."
"The barn?"
"Your listening to a wolf now?" Disbelief lacing Max's voice.
"Liz trusts him."
"Michael?"
"Just grab her blanket and pillow."
"Your sure this is a good idea."
"I'm not sure of anything." Michael's voice once more soft.
"What happened MIchael?" Max's voice pleading once more.
"I'm not sure... One minute we were right there in front of you. The next we were........ I guess in her head. Maybe.... Look Max. I don't know. That's really not what is important."
"And what is?"
"The fact that Liz talked to me."
"She talked to you." Doubt lacing Max's voice once more.
"Yes. I got to see and feel what she was feeling. At the moment we were in at the time and now."
"At the time? Now? What?"
"Look Max, the point is she is scared. Terrified is more like it. Overwhelmed by everything. Lost. In pain."
Lost?
Is that what I am?
"We know this."
"Yes and no Max." Michael sighing. "You don't understand the depth of it all. No one really did."
"After everything that she has been through. I would think...." Sighing. "So explain it to me." Max sounding defeated once more.
"She feels like she is drowning when your around Max."
"What?"
"Everything you feel Max. She feel it's too."
"Because of our connection. That's good Michael. That means she feels my love."
"Yes, but it also means she feels the fear, pain, disappointment, longing, hurt and everything else you that you feel too. She feels it all from you Max. Like it's double or tripled or something. It's not normal. It takes over everything else that she feels and senses at that moment. I felt what she felt. It takes over everything. Overwhelming to the point...... I don't think she knows how the handle it. Hell, I didn't know how to handle it. It was like all this pressure. Raw. Like every nerve I had was on fire. I couldn't breath. I didn't know what to do... Then suddenly Liz was there and I felt nothing once more."
"I don't understand."
"I didn't know either. It's like everything was heighten to the point of extreme."
"Ok..."
"Raw and painful. Then it was like she took it all and locked it away inside of her. So she, we couldn't feel anything at all again. Couldn't stand to feel it.... Not being able to control the flow of emotions so it wasn't so .... Harsh. Liz had to lock it all away."
"I wonder if it's because she spent the last two years trying not to feel anything that she no longer knows how to process the simplest of emotion that it feels so much bigger or if it's the fact that she is trying to block out any kind of feeling at all so she doesn't have to deal with the past. The present. The good or the bad because she can't deal. Drowning. She said she felt like she was drowning. That she didn't want to feel anything. That's why she doesn't like to be touched. It's not just what she remembers. It's the connection too. It's too much. That she couldn't. I don't know. I don't know yet. I have to think this through more."
"So what am I suppose to do. Go away? Stay away from her? I don't think I can do that Michael. I can't. She is everything to me."
"I think that is one of the problem Max. She feels and knows how you feel. It's adding all this extra pressure. Liz is in constant fear that she is going to hurt you. Hurt us. Not only that but is putting us in danger."
"But she isn't."
"Isn't she?"
"Michael."
"Think about it Max. Every time she pulls away from you."
"But... I understand... I know that it's going to take time."
"But it still hurts you Max. Don't even try to deny it. I don't need to a connection to know that."
"I can't leave her Michael."
"I know Max."
"But I don't want to hurt her either."
"I don't think you leaving is what she needs. Max. Liz needs you. I know this. You just need to back off some."
"What do you think I have been doing."
I wish they would quit talking about me.
"I know Max. I know. But that not all. Liz said she is dead."
"WHAT?"
"She feels like she died. That she killed herself after.... that night."
"That's crazy. She just confused."
"Is it? Think about it. After what they did to her. Her... Her cutting her own wrist. She wanted to die that night. Anyone would of."
"But she IS alive."
"Yes. But she also no longer Liz Parker."
"Michael." Max's warning growl.
"Think about it Max. Just think. Like Alec said. She not our Liz anymore. She is no longer that carefree lovable girl. To much has happened to her. She remembers everything. Reliving everything. No one. No one can ever be the same after that. No one. Not even Liz."
"She's going to be alright."
"I mean it Michael. Liz is going to be alright."
"She has to be...." Pain lacing everyone of Max's words.
I don't want to be here anymore.
I don't want to hear this.....
"I know Max. And that is exactly what I promised her. But saying it and having it done is too different things Max."
Feeling myself slip further away into the nothingness.
CHAPTER 51
LIZ POV
Gripping onto Michael's shirt as if my life depended on it.
Michael who never lied to me.
Michael who always told me the truth.
"Please." Begging him once more.
Michael the warrior who always protected his friends.
Protected me.
"Michael." Coming out a desperate cry.
Just make it all stop. Just make it stop.
I can't do this. I can't do this.
Words and the their means swirl around in my head.
"Shhh... Liz. I got you. I have you." Michael pulling me tighter. "Your not alone anymore. Your not alone. I'm going to fix this."
Michael. Please......
"I'm going to take care of you. It's all going to be alright now. I promise. I promise. It's all going to be alright now. Its going to be alright."
Michael will help me.
Michael will fix this....
He will stop this.
"I'm here. I'm here. It's going to be OK now. I promise. I promise."
Yes.
Thank you.
Overwhelming release from all feelings and emotions sending me once more into the safety of darkness.
Thank you....
##############################################################
Nothingness cocooned me. Wrapping around me. Loosing my grip on the terror and pain that held me. Making me feel safe once more.
"Michael? Liz?" Max's concerned voice breaking through the edge of my subconscious.
Nikita's low warning growl.
That's it boy. Tell them to let me stay.
"Michael?" Max slightly louder. "Michael, what the hell is going on? What did you do?"
Michael.
Michael would take care of everything.
Michael will keep us all safe.
"Back off Max." Michael growling back.
You tell him Mike.
"NO Michael I'm not." Max using his I am king voice.
"Max. Just back off and let me get Liz settle."
Settled?
I'm fine where I am.
Low warning growl rumbling from Nikita's throat.
"I'm just taking her into the house." Michael's voice coming once more.
Nikita growling once more.
"So what do you suggest? She can't stay out here under the tree forever."
"The barn?"
"Your listening to a wolf now?" Disbelief lacing Max's voice.
"Liz trusts him."
"Michael?"
"Just grab her blanket and pillow."
"Your sure this is a good idea."
"I'm not sure of anything." Michael's voice once more soft.
"What happened MIchael?" Max's voice pleading once more.
"I'm not sure... One minute we were right there in front of you. The next we were........ I guess in her head. Maybe.... Look Max. I don't know. That's really not what is important."
"And what is?"
"The fact that Liz talked to me."
"She talked to you." Doubt lacing Max's voice once more.
"Yes. I got to see and feel what she was feeling. At the moment we were in at the time and now."
"At the time? Now? What?"
"Look Max, the point is she is scared. Terrified is more like it. Overwhelmed by everything. Lost. In pain."
Lost?
Is that what I am?
"We know this."
"Yes and no Max." Michael sighing. "You don't understand the depth of it all. No one really did."
"After everything that she has been through. I would think...." Sighing. "So explain it to me." Max sounding defeated once more.
"She feels like she is drowning when your around Max."
"What?"
"Everything you feel Max. She feel it's too."
"Because of our connection. That's good Michael. That means she feels my love."
"Yes, but it also means she feels the fear, pain, disappointment, longing, hurt and everything else you that you feel too. She feels it all from you Max. Like it's double or tripled or something. It's not normal. It takes over everything else that she feels and senses at that moment. I felt what she felt. It takes over everything. Overwhelming to the point...... I don't think she knows how the handle it. Hell, I didn't know how to handle it. It was like all this pressure. Raw. Like every nerve I had was on fire. I couldn't breath. I didn't know what to do... Then suddenly Liz was there and I felt nothing once more."
"I don't understand."
"I didn't know either. It's like everything was heighten to the point of extreme."
"Ok..."
"Raw and painful. Then it was like she took it all and locked it away inside of her. So she, we couldn't feel anything at all again. Couldn't stand to feel it.... Not being able to control the flow of emotions so it wasn't so .... Harsh. Liz had to lock it all away."
"I wonder if it's because she spent the last two years trying not to feel anything that she no longer knows how to process the simplest of emotion that it feels so much bigger or if it's the fact that she is trying to block out any kind of feeling at all so she doesn't have to deal with the past. The present. The good or the bad because she can't deal. Drowning. She said she felt like she was drowning. That she didn't want to feel anything. That's why she doesn't like to be touched. It's not just what she remembers. It's the connection too. It's too much. That she couldn't. I don't know. I don't know yet. I have to think this through more."
"So what am I suppose to do. Go away? Stay away from her? I don't think I can do that Michael. I can't. She is everything to me."
"I think that is one of the problem Max. She feels and knows how you feel. It's adding all this extra pressure. Liz is in constant fear that she is going to hurt you. Hurt us. Not only that but is putting us in danger."
"But she isn't."
"Isn't she?"
"Michael."
"Think about it Max. Every time she pulls away from you."
"But... I understand... I know that it's going to take time."
"But it still hurts you Max. Don't even try to deny it. I don't need to a connection to know that."
"I can't leave her Michael."
"I know Max."
"But I don't want to hurt her either."
"I don't think you leaving is what she needs. Max. Liz needs you. I know this. You just need to back off some."
"What do you think I have been doing."
I wish they would quit talking about me.
"I know Max. I know. But that not all. Liz said she is dead."
"WHAT?"
"She feels like she died. That she killed herself after.... that night."
"That's crazy. She just confused."
"Is it? Think about it. After what they did to her. Her... Her cutting her own wrist. She wanted to die that night. Anyone would of."
"But she IS alive."
"Yes. But she also no longer Liz Parker."
"Michael." Max's warning growl.
"Think about it Max. Just think. Like Alec said. She not our Liz anymore. She is no longer that carefree lovable girl. To much has happened to her. She remembers everything. Reliving everything. No one. No one can ever be the same after that. No one. Not even Liz."
"She's going to be alright."
"I mean it Michael. Liz is going to be alright."
"She has to be...." Pain lacing everyone of Max's words.
I don't want to be here anymore.
I don't want to hear this.....
"I know Max. And that is exactly what I promised her. But saying it and having it done is too different things Max."
Feeling myself slip further away into the nothingness.