Am I reading my writing? Liz thought as she continued to read her journal. She could not believe that she was not reading some fictionalized novel. All she was writing was the truth. In her own words. Sure, some entries were short, or details skimped on, and written in code somewhat. Y
ou had to have known that time to really get this she thought. She had gone through it. So, she knew what it had taken to get out of that time, and she knew she had barely gotten out.
And some had not. They had lost people. Good people.
Alex. It made her teary to read the entries of his death, without writing about the true events. She could not write those words. How they were betrayed
even though we should have seen in it coming she muttered to herself. It was a dark period in their lives. A hard one to get through, and it was amazing they had gotten out of it without more carnage.
But as Maria had commented. They were living to honor what Alex had not been able to achieve in his short but memorable life.
I miss you Alex she muttered to herself as she closed the book once she got to the last entry and was reminded how it had ended with her leaving Roswell. And Max.
She opened it once more and saw the first one. How Max had saved her life. And brought her into a new world. One full of intrigue, suspense, and a lot of heartache. But she had gotten a chance to really know him, and she was truly blessed to still be here because it could have been so different if Max had not acted.
If he had not jumped in when the bullet tore into her.
I left this town to achieve that normal that had been taken to be on that September day. And yet here she was back in her hometown and reading he old adventures as if it were some book, when it had really happened to her.
She read those words again, about how she had died and come back to life.
I should be on the first flight out of here she thought.
As she looked at the fireplace, and the flames that had been lit that day. She knew now and maybe she had known it before. She was forever changed. She was never going to be normal. It was just about how much she wanted or was able to control.
As she glanced into the fireplace, and just got lost in the memories.
*
Max drove into his parking spot. Downstairs, outside the condo complex. His mind was swirling. For five years he had been dealing with a life that did not have Michael in it, and now his friend was back, and it was almost like he was good as new. Nothing was harming him, and nothing was keeping him down. Like the five years has been a long nap, and now he was refreshed and ready to deal with life.
Well Max was not sure how he could handle. This past week already had been full of emotion. These past five years had been without Liz too.
Now she is back he thought.
But for how long? he asked himself. He did not know.
And now Michael was back.
And Micah was afraid of what it might mean for her. So, was he, although he saw the genuineness and the truth in Michael’s words when they were talking about his daughter?
Their daughter he thought. Although Michael had not wanted Micah.
He stepped in, just hoping that Michael would come to his senses and then he saw Micah at birth and fell in love.
And now his daughter was growing older and knew a whole lot about their lives that he had not imagined she did. And it was making him worry.
The last thing he wanted was to take the childhood glory from his child and make her worry about having to be a shall of yourself so not for people to find out. He did not want that for his daughter.
Not yet.
But he knew it was going to have to happen one of these days. And they already were facing it with Charlie.
Charlie was something that was going to come down on them once Maria told Michael. Given his reaction to Micah. He had no idea what that would do to his friend, and he was sure Maria did not know and that was why she was chickening out about telling him about their son. So, Max had a lot of worries within himself, and he was getting out of his car.
And happy his daughter was at her grandparents for the night. The last thing he wanted was to answer questions.
He just wanted to relax.
And then he saw
her and immediately attention eased from his body. Everything good in his life was because of her.
I love you Liz he said but did not say it because it would drive her away from him. So, he watched her bending down to lift the bag into the shoot near her apartment. He stood and watched,
yes, everything is about Liz.
“Can I help you with that?” Max asked as the trance lifted, and he moved forward.
*
The bang of the door closed before Liz knew it. As her heart was racing as she had decided to put the trash don the garbage shoot, before turning in for the night, because she was useless being up and not thinking about the past. As her diary was still on the table, and all she could think about was the past, and how everything had changed a decade ago.
On this night actually,
what are the odds? She asked as she had seen the date on the page. Tonight, was the night, a decade ago, that she had written her first entry about Max.
About how he had changed her life.
Transformed her.
While she had not heart his footsteps coming back to his apartment all night since she come back to the room. Still, she had forgotten that Max had been out. And now he was staring at her, all sexy.
She was in her housecoat. Looking ratting or so she thought.
To Max, she looked sexy with her dark hair, flowing beyond her shoulders. Neither could say anything. As their bond and their reaction to each other was so chemical and so natural. Nothing was ending it.
Not reality.
Nothing.
“How was it?” Liz asked.
The last thing I was to do was talk about Michael or anything Max thought as he did not say anything except to look at her like she was the only person in their world. That she was the hottest thing he had ever experienced.
Which she was…
“Max,” Liz asked. “Is everything alright?”
More than alright Max told himself as he continued to look at her life, she was the only thing that made sense to him.
Finally, the trance broke when it looked like maybe Liz was going to walk away from him and go back to her room. “I do not want to talk anymore tonight.”
Not sure if that meant it went well or it went bad, Liz did not know what to make of his mood. “What do you want to do?”
“I want to do this?” Max said simply as he wanted to ignore the dark impulses in his brain and concentrate on the only thing that was over five that made sense in his world. As he walked up to Liz and planted a slow and deeply passionate kiss on Liz. “I want you?” he said softly. “Do you want me?”
God yes Liz said as was almost taken in by surprise by the power of the kiss. The intensity, and the powerful nature of it. But it was melting any resistance she had, if she had any, and she did not because one day soon this would be over, and she would be far away from here.
So, she rode the flame as they backed against the wall, and Max was once again reminded that they should be happy the surveillance camera was not functional. “The camera does not work but let us not give them a show” he said softly as he pulled himself away from her and she smiled and turned to face her open door. “What do you want do now?”
“This,” Liz said softly as she pulled Max into her condo, and they slammed the door behind them, and they went into for another mind-altering kiss.
Which was something that was magical and unique and was completely them. As he spotted the fire. “What have you been doing?” he asked as neither was in the mood to discuss the night, and the possibility of tomorrow because they had done it too many times before, and Max did not want to think because he would be faced with that in the coming days.
When he did not have her in his life.
“Just thinking” Liz said softly. “But that was before…”
“What do you want to do now?” Max asked softly.
“What do you want to do?” Liz asked as they were in sync in how they did not want to talk or think about what was coming or what was hanging over their heads. All they wanted to be together, and hell with the consequences.
You can only live once, right? Liz told herself as she remembered only ten years ago, she had defined that logic, and was living a very different life than that girl had been before the fight, and before the gun shot.
She knew only too well how it was to lose someone too early, and something too final…
“You” Max said softly. “It was always
you?” he said he leaned in for a kiss, and Liz let herself get carried away by the power that was them, and the passion that always seem to know how to take over common sense as he took her hands down her arm, and felt the sensitive skin, and the sensation that it brought on for both of them.
“Max,” Liz said softly.
“Let’s forget tonight, tomorrow” Max said softly as he undid her robe “If you want to be here with me, and to do this?”
Hell, yes Liz said shutting down her mind and reacted to the sensation of his kisses on her skin.
Oh god she muttered as they fell together onto the carpet in front of the fireplace as a fire was unleashed in them.
And neither of them wanted to dim that flame within them.
*
As it went on for hours, while across the town. A clearly tired Charlie returned from his day with his grandparents, and the delight of the college football game. Something Jim was happy to be able to share with his grandson now that Kyle had moved on with his life. And was enjoying football, by coaching it at the high school level.
Never able to get to that other level because of talent, and because of circumstance but Jim knew Kyle was happy with his life. Although he sensed his son would not be thrilled when they got home and found out that Michael had woken up. Maria would tell them that Max was planning on calling Isabel about the development.
But he knew how close Isabel had been with Michael, and now that he knew more of the story. He could sense why the engagement had been a long one, with a hope in Isabel that Michael would wake and be able to join them.
Unfortunately, it was a little too late. “You are welcome” Jim said as Maria was saying her thanks to her mother and Jim for entertaining her son for the day. “I do not get to do this often with Kyle busy with his own life, and the station keeps me entertained most days.
“I appreciate it.” Maria muttered as hugged her son. “You had a great day, did you not?” she asked of her son.
“It was a lot of fun,” Charlie said softly to his mother. “It’s bedtime, right?”
“Right,” Maria said with a laugh, but she did not get a defense from her son in his wish to stay up, as she walked her son to his bedroom.
As they walked in. Charlie turned, and made it apparent he had overheard what she had told her mother and stepfather. “Daddy is awake, isn’t he?”
“Yes,” Maria murmured. Unable to lie to her son. Able to do it to others, or keep him from his father, sure, but when Charlie asked her a question. She had a hard time not answering it “But it’s early.”
“Do he know about me?” Charlie asked.
“No,” Maria shook her head and saw the disappointment in her son’s eyes. “I will tell him I promise, and you will get to meet him before we leave…”
“So, we are leaving?” Charlie asked even though he wanted to say
I want to stay.
“Honey, I have too. I am keeping my director hanging, and we can stay a few more days but we will have to return, plus, you have to go back to school” she sighed because she had been happy that they were so close to the start of the school year when she allowed Liz to take her son back here to Roswell, and now they were staying longer although the plan was for Liz to drive back, so her son was always going to miss this week of school.
Charlie nodded.
“Can I see Micah before we leave?” Charlie asked.
“Honey, we are not leaving right away, just do not get your hopes that we can stay here because our life is in New York” Maria murmured as she thought of all the sweat and tears, she had put in to build her life to get where it is, and Roswell was a very different life.
“I guess,” Charlie muttered. “But we can come back here, right?”
“I am sure we will not be strangers,” Maria muttered because even if she wanted to stay away. She would never be able to do that to her son, or to the life he clearly had grasped onto while here in Roswell.
*
Middle of the night,
They were hungry. Hungry for each other still after endless encounters these last few days, which was a blissful occurrence for them and one the knew would be over way too soon. And neither were thinking of it. Even if they should be so that they did not put their heart on the line, which of course, they also knew was hopeless given they knew it was too late. Still, they were hungry for more substance.
So, the were doing some eggs on the stove. Neither were much of a cook since Liz was always on the go, and she was raised over a restaurant, and when she was working. She would always eat down there, unless there was a family dinner, which at times were rare depending on how busy the restaurant was. And Max despite raising a growing girl definitely was not much of a cook, and they spent much of the time also over at the Crashdown or mooching a dinner of hiss parents.
Which Diane gladly made for them.
And Liz still did not have much food in the place despite her unwillingness to leave, but she had eggs, and now they were sharing some.
Not wanting to talk.
“This is becoming too common for us?” Max was asking as the sat at the table. It no longer had Liz’s computer on it, and it was just them eating. “Are we going to do something about it?”
“What are you thinking?” Liz asked, as if she did not already know.
“I think you know what I am thinking,” Max said with a smile as it seemed so simple to be here with her, as if it was all a dream.
All he could say to himself
if it was a dream. It was going to burst one of these days,
but I am going to ride the dream as far as it was willing to take me.
“I wish I could give you what you want Max,” Liz said softly.
Max brought his hand over to hers, and put it on top of hers, and picked it up, and kissed it, and Liz felt a quiver.
I wish he would not do this to me she sighed, but she was not getting up and leaving the room.
Or leaving Max.
“You are giving me exactly what I am seeking Liz” Max murmured.
“You?”
“But it cannot last, not in the long run,” Liz sighed. “I do not want to be hurting you. You matter too much for me and you have an incredible daughter who you are doing an amazing job with, and you should be concentrating on her.”
“As I have said before, I can do that and still love you” Max murmured.
“Max,” Liz sighed.
“Honestly, Liz it’s the truth,” Max said as he got up from the table and went around to where Liz was sitting. And pulled her up from the chair she was sitting on. “I love you. I have loved you since third grade. Even before I knew what love was,” he smiled. “We got a chance in high school, and we were give more than we could handle, and I will forever be sorry for that because it was my actions as much as any that did us in” he asked as he was putting his cards out on the table, and in the view of the only woman he had ever loved.
“I helped it along,” Liz muttered.
“So, we both did us in,” Max sighed. “We have a chance now. We should be grabbing it. I know you do not see Roswell as your life, and you might be right, because you have been doing incredible things away from our town. It will be hard to give that up to come back to what Roswell has to offer…”
“I know,” Liz murmured.
Although the glory of elsewhere does not give me everything…
“But can we not at least try?” Max asked. “I am not asking you to give everything you have created for you. I might not be able to join you, because I do have my life here, and Micah has her life here. She has grandparents who love her, and I have to figure out what I means for us now that Michael is awake, and it’s not feasible for us to relocate, but I want a chance at us. So that we can capture that elusive something we missed out on in high school?”
“How can we?” Liz asked because every neve ending in her body wanted to take him up on his offer and yet she was resisting....
“I do not know, but isn’t it at least worth a try?” Max asked.
“But
how can we do it?” Liz asked as she was trying to figure this out. “My life is where my work is, and you and Micah are here and as you said you cannot even leave. You, Michael and Isabel deserve to stay in close proximity to each other in case things do go bad?” she thought. “I do not want to think of what could have been these years if you were away from Michael and your sister?” she thought. “You and Micah both need this town.”
“Things have not been at our high school level since, well, high school,” Max muttered of the relative peace they had been under since she left town. They had been lucky, and he knew it. “Michael sickness exempted,” he said with a softness that continued to get to Liz. “Which was something totally unrelated, and unexplainable,” he sighed. “But yes, I cannot take Micah away from this town. And we do not know what which is out there is why I should be sticking close to here…” he muttered. “Which is why I told you I could not travel.”
“And I have picked up the torch for both of us, and I have travelled” Liz murmured.
“Yes, you have” Max murmured. “All these years you have been away from me?”
“Max,” Liz sighed.
“I am being honest here,” Max said.
“And you have not before?” Liz asked with a smile. “Seriously, I understand what you are trying to say?”
“I do not think you are,” Max said softly. “I love you…”
“Max,” Liz asked even though her heart told the story, and the
I love you even though she could not bare to say it. Because the heartache that could exist behind those words “This is too much?” she murmured but Max was not going to denied.
“I want you to take a chance on me and believe in me” Max asked.
“I will always believe in you,” Liz murmured. “That is not the issue,” she sighed. “It will not do us any good to try again when I will not be able to come back here, and you can come with me, or visit me?”
“You take vacations, right?” Max asked. “I know for a fact your parents have travelled all over the world, visiting you, and you are not always working” he asked as he did remember hearing the elusive name of his ex whenever Jeff and Nancy disappeared for a week or more. Leaving the restaurant to others, or sometimes even closed. When you have used the restaurant to feed your child because you are a terrible cook. You notice when her favorite restaurant is closed.
“Not back here,” Liz muttered. “Until now…”
“Obviously,” Max said with a smile. “You have intentionally staying away?” he asked. “So, why can you not make Roswell your newest vacation spot?”
“Maybe,” Liz agreed. “I travel, yes, but my life is wherever the project is. That is no life for you to be, on standby…”
“Your parents would love for you to visit instead of going to wherever you are next?” Max asked as he was trying everything to try to entice her to come back to him.
That could work, could it not?
I know Liz muttered because she knew she was asking her parents for a lot in coming to her, and prior to this past weekend. She knew she had relished being able to show her parents the world. A world they could not enjoy because they had stayed in Roswell, and the restaurant took so much of their time. So, getting the chance to come to her, a
llows them the possibility to get out of Roswell she thought. And until now, she had not come back into their town limits, and now she was about to exit again without really spending that much time with them because she could not stay out of bed with her sexy ex.
Yes, the sex is addicting she muttered to herself.
“Make us your home,” Max asked. “Come back to me, and Roswell instead of going to some foreign local?”
“I do not what to do that to you Max,” Liz muttered. “Long distance is never the answer. It will put both of us on the hook for a lot.”
“As I have told you. All you need to do is look at my life these past years. I have been waiting for you to come home to me even if it were for a weekend, or a week would be much better, and you are not going to see me moving on. If I have not done it before now than I am not going to do it now that I have gotten a chance to love you again,” said with total honestly. “As if I ever really stopped loving you” he asked.
I love you. “Which is something I have not done. Could you not think about it? Would not the ability to see your parents more often be a bonus” Max asked. “And the chance to be with me?”
“Low blow,” Liz muttered.
“I will take any opportunity to convince you to try us again,” Max sighed. “We have a chance, Liz. A rare chance. You deserve the world, yes, and I want to be able to give you everything you ever did want?”
“Max,” Liz sighed.
“What?” Max asked.
“It’s not fair,” Liz muttered.
“What is not fair?” Max asked.
“That you should be standing here wanting me to hurt you, because why would you want to be a week or two every couple of months. You deserve to be happiness. Micah deserves to have you happy…” she thought. “She deserves you as her father, but a
mother too” she muttered even though she did not want to advocate that she would knowingly go elsewhere to give his daughter a home the child craved.
“
You are the only one who makes me happy Liz,” Max sighed. “It was always you…” he asked as leaned down and kissed his beloved with a simple kiss that turned fiery and was as intense as the two of them. “It was always only you…” he said with the truth hanging between the two of them. “So, you should stop trying to find someone else,” he asked. “It did not work in high school, and will not work now…”
It worked temporarily in high school Liz muttered to herself as she was forced to remember that period in her and now, Liz did not want to believe that
only one man could be capable of bringing the passion out in her, and she knew it was the truth. She had too many examples of adequate nights, but something was missing. There was always an element missing…
She now knew it was because they were not Max…
Yet, she was not yet ready to say they could work once more, but for the moment they did not care as she felt her robe coming off, and they fell to the floor.
Taking in each other…