The Real Me (UC, Mi/L, TEEN/MATURE) Pt 11 6/18/05 [WIP]
Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 12:33 am
The Real Me
(Michael/Liz)
By, Angie
Rating: Teen to Mature
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
A/N: This is my first Michael/Liz story…
May, 2000
Liz was late to school—again. For some reason her alarm clock didn’t like her anymore. She set it every night for six-thirty and always wound up getting out of bed at quarter after seven. She got to school at five to eight and had to hurry to her locker to get her books. It had been this way all through her junior year last year and was working on being her pattern halfway through her final year of high school. She still hated it.
Sweating and fearing that last bell was going to ring any second, Liz turned her combo knob too fast and swore. Damn thing was going to be tricky again today. Turning around to see what the clock said, Liz saw the big hand inching toward the twelve in what felt like a Speedy Gonzalez way. Damn it! She told herself.
Michael walked over to her and said, “You know if you’d do that slower you’d get your locker open.”
Looking up into those wonderful brown eyes of his that now felt irritating because she was late, Liz snapped, “Really? Well I don’t have time to go at a slow pace. This damn thing won’t work and I’m going to be late again. One more time and I know I’ll be in ISS.”
Michael said nonchalantly, “I’ve been there. It’s not so scary. Pretty boring actually.”
Rolling her eyes, Liz said, “Well if I wind up in there my parents will ground me until fall when I leave for college. So I can’t afford…”
Suddenly the bell rang.
Liz’s palms were wet and she was nervously working at her locker combo now.
Michael walked over and said, “Here. Let me work at it.”
Liz said, “No! I’ve got to get in there…you don’t know my combination…I’m not going to get out of the tardy this time…My parents are going to be furious with me.” She was erratic sounding, but she was scared. Liz was not one who liked to be late, or to get in trouble. She followed the rules, she did things the right way. She was a good student and a good girl at home.
Michael merely nudged her back and said, “A friend of mine had this locker last year and he shared it with me last semester. The partner of his chose to get his own.” In seconds, Michael had it open.
Liz merely stared at him. Shocked, embarrassed, and now wondering what to say. All she could get out was, “Thanks.”
Michael shrugged and said, “You worry too much Liz.” He smiled at her and walked away.
Liz smiled back.
~Four Hours Later~
Sitting at the cafeteria table she’d sat at for the past four years, Liz talked with Maria, her best friend. She said, “Maria, he came over and just opened the locker. I’ve fought that thing all year and he opens it in minutes! It was embarrassing.”
Her blonde haired friend, Maria picked at her burger and fries and said unenthused when it came to Michael Guerin, “Liz you’re making way too much out of this. I mean so what? So he came by and he opened your locker. It wasn’t like he took you to out and bought you a CD or a new set of pens for your journal. He does that sometime and you can be impressed.”
Liz grinned and said, “Yeah, since no one but you knows I write in a journal I’d be shocked…and impressed. It was just eerie. I don’t’ like eerie.”
Maria grabbed Liz’s drink and taking a swallow she said, “Like I believe that. You are totally into the guy. I’ve seen it. Alex picks on you when you don’t notice because of your drooling.”
Liz blushed and said, “No way. He doesn’t do that. You’re joking with me, Maria.”
Maria grabbed her Coke back and said, “I’m not either. There he is by the way, coming into the line.”
Liz glanced up, saw Michael telling the lunch lady that he would not eat what they were serving if he was starving on a deserted island somewhere. Her eyes stayed on him. On the way he gave the lunch lady a Give Me A Break expression, putting off a cockiness that Liz liked. The way his jeans fit, the way he wore his cowboy boots beneath them not giving a damn if it was stylish or not. How he saved a loner girl from dropping her lunch and helping her keep from bumping against a table as she walked to her quiet table. Michael was just sweet.
He just never saw Liz. Not the way that Liz saw him. It doesn’t help that I’m always whining about something when he’s around, Liz thought chiding herself.
Liz tried to control her hormones that wanted to walk over to him, strip off her clothes and tell him that she was his if he wanted her. Oh how many times had she fantasized about offering herself? Or taking off his clothes and making love in a full sized bed for hours and hours? She tried but it was hard.
Finally she looked over at Maria and said, “He’s sexy but he doesn’t see Liz. He only sees a girl who likes to bitch.”
Maria said with a laugh, “I’m a notorious bitch and Michael barely says hello to me. Of course I’m not the least bit attracted to him. He’s a pain in the ass. I’ve got my eyes on Max Evans. You can have Michael any day. I think from how often he looks at you when you’re talking to me or to Alex that he’d have you any day if you’d show him you wanted him to.”
Liz looked over at Michael, watching him eat and talk with Isabel and Max, then looking back at Maria she said, “Yeah. Sure. His interests are in hanging with those two. Not with me…” she sighed and said, “I’m nothing more than a girl who comes to this school.”
Maria said, “Well you are coming to Alex’s pre-graduation party tonight aren’t you?”
Liz took another bite of her burger then drank a large drink of her Coke, wondering yet again why she bothered to eat this school’s food and didn’t bring her lunch like the smart ones did. She frowned, set it back down, and said to Maria, “Yeah…I planned to.”
Maria said, “Good. Maybe you’ll see that Michael does look. And he likes you.”
~Later on that Night~
As the clock said seven that evening, Liz brushed her shoulder length brown hair and left it down as she walked to the living room. Looking at her mom and dad she said, “I’m going over to Alex’s for awhile. Is that okay?”
Her mom said, “I don’t see why not.”
Her dad added, “Be sure to call if you’re staying later than ten. You know the rules, Liz.”
Nodding, Liz said, “I know.”
Grabbing her light purple jacket, Liz said, “Bye.” She walked out the door just as Maria drove up in her Jetta. Smiling largely at how her friend drove with loud heavy metal music going, Liz opened the door and climbed in. She said, “Jeez Maria.”
Maria said, “Sorry.” She turned it down some and said, “So are you ready?” She was dressed up in a pink shirt and flowered pants. Liz inwardly shook her head and smiled. Maria was her own kind of gal. She did things as she liked and she made her own mark in Roswell as a unique person. Liz tried to follow that, but it was too hard. Following the right road was best and it got more positive responses than being unusual.
Inside, though, Liz didn’t feel normal. She felt she was pretending. Because part of her, a huge part, wanted to be just like Maria DeLuca. She wanted to get out there and explore life. She wanted to dress wildly in flower clothes and listen to loud blasting music and make out with Michael Guerin in a hidden room.
Above all, one day, she wanted to know what it was like to be herself…
Michael was there at the party. He was joking with Max, his best friend. Man he had a nice smile! Liz ogled as she stood near Maria, listening halfway to her talking about how hot Max was and how one day she was going to…yada…yada…yada…with his…bleep…bleep…bleep.
Liz just wanted to see what it was like to hold Michael’s hand. To be kissed by him for the first time. To have him walk with his arm around her shoulders and have him tell her that he liked her. To walk at night with him and smell his cologne on his shirt. Have him stop out of the blue and tell her, ‘Liz I know I’ve told you before, but I love you.’
She was probably living a fantasy, Liz told herself, hoping something would happen that never would. Maybe Maria was right. Just stick to guys that were more noticeably interested. Thing was, if Maria was so much better at it, then why was she standing here while Max was across the room?
Drifting off partway through the night at Alex’s, Liz walked into the kitchen, hoping to get a drink of Coke. Maybe she’d see Alex in there and she could thank him again for inviting her to the Pre-Graduation party. People were already getting wild in the living room and some where making out upstairs. Liz just walked into the kitchen and said aloud, having heard someone in there, “Alex I’m getting a glass of Coke. My throat is dry.”
The voice turned from where he stood, by the counter and smiling he said, “Here, Liz. I’ll get you a cup of Coke.”
It was Michael! He was pouring glasses of drinks for people. And offering her a glass.
Liz felt like a sappy romantic idiot, but she smiled broadly and said, “Thank you, Michael.”
Taking the drink, Liz thanked him again, inwardly asking herself why she had to thank him twice for pouring her a glass when he was pouring everyone a glass! She just answered inside that it was because she was a nut, who had the biggest thing for him…stupidly because he didn’t like her like that.
Michael leaned against the counter and said, “So…Liz. What do you do to have a good time?”
Innocently shocked that he asked her that, Liz said, “Me? What do I do? Well…”
Michael grinned and said, “Yeah. I mean I can tell you aren’t a partier. You don’t go to dances that often and you are pretty on top of things in class. So I just wondered what you did to have a good time. What you enjoyed doing.”
Liz heard what he was saying and for some reason felt he was insinuating that what she did wasn’t things she liked doing at all. Truthfully part of the time they weren’t. But no one else in her life knew that! Not even Maria and she knew her pretty well.
Liz smiled, trying to be optimistic, but when she thought about what she enjoyed on a regular basis, all she could say was, “Drawing. I enjoy drawing. I write in a journal sometimes.”
Michael said interested, “Really? That’s cool. I write sometimes too.”
Liz said, “I didn’t know that.” She smiled. Of course she didn’t’ know a damn thing about Michael! But she told him that anyway.
Michael smiled and said, “Yep. I also enjoy overcooking someone’s burger at the Café when they piss me off. But that’s me.”
Liz saw they were alone in the room now and started talking. She said, “I am a straight A student at Roswell High. I study hard at night and on weekends for my grades. I think people think I get them easily. I don’t.”
Michael said, “I didn’t think that.”
Liz said, “I like school.” She felt like a liar saying that. She didn’t always like school.
Michael seemed to see that and said, “What don’t you like?”
Liz looked him in the eyes and said, “I don’t know what you’re asking.”
Michael said, “I’m not going to go blab it, Liz. Here. Why don’t’ we go into another room.”
Liz slowly walked with him, figuring why not. She walked with him into a drawing room and closing the door, Liz walked to a chair and watched Michael sit across from her.
He said, “Now. You tell me you like school, you like studying. Okay. What kinds of things don’t you like? What does Liz like that isn’t at Roswell High.”
Liz felt nervous and that he was asking her questions she was scared of answering. Because if she answered them, she knew, that meant she really was playing a game with everyone, being what they expected, and not at all being Liz Parker.
But she was alone with Michael and somehow she felt he wouldn’t blab, so she said, “I don’t do parties, you’re right. I’d rather sit at home and watch TV in my sweats and Tweety T-shirt. I hate feeling pressured sometimes by my parents. I want to hang out with my friends more, but they hover over me like I’m going to do something that is going to ruin my life if they aren’t right there to guide me. I hate being seen as a snob because I like to read and write, because I’m not into drinking or doing drugs or smoking. Because I have saved myself for the right person. I’ve not met him yet…so because I want to wait, I’m some kind of prude. My parents don’t call me this, but others at school I think see me this way. That was why I stopped going to school dances…why I won’t go to parties that aren’t held by my best friends. Am I boring because I don’t want to stand out and look important? Because maybe I don’t want to be valedictorian of my class?”
Michael shook his head, seeing Liz was near tears, and said, “No…Liz I don’t think so.” He had no idea that she was that miserable. He walked over to her and said, “My dad is a drunk and everyone at school knows it. People think by the time I’m thirty I’m going to be an alcoholic jerk because he is.”
Liz said, “It’s stupid and unfair the way people stereotype each other! So what if your dad is a jerk. That doesn’t mean you are. For a son of a drunk I don’t think I’ve seen a nicer guy at Roswell High.”
Michael touched Liz’s face and said, “Liz…”
Liz went on, “You help people, Michael. You calm me down when I’m irrational and…and you helped me see that I’m not happy being the Liz everyone sees. I’m more than that.”
Michael looked into Liz’s eyes and she looked into his for a few seconds. Finally, Michael lowered his mouth to hers and Liz got her first kiss. She held on to his shoulders and after he broke away she heard him say to her, “Liz I’ve liked you for a long time. I didn’t know you, but I’ve liked you. I like you as you, as Liz Parker who doesn’t have to be what everyone wants. You can just be yourself with me.”
Liz smiled and said, “I will. From now on I will. Thanks for reminding me that I could be…”
TBC…
The Real Me
(Michael/Liz)
By, Angie
Rating: T (Teen)
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Summary: A change is coming that will affect Michael and Liz in different ways…
Spoilers: None!
Part Two—When Change Comes…
June 6, 2000
Michael had never really known what it was like to be loved. His mother ran off and left when he was barely two and his dad who was supposed to make up for it did so by buying booze and staying constantly drunk. Whining to Michael about her leaving. Calling her horrible names and blaming her for all the problems in his life. Even though it was sixteen years later.
Never knowing what it was like to have a damn thing and knowing his options were to continue having nothing or to work and earn it, Michael got a job at the Crashdown Café last year. As head cook, Michael didn’t do so bad. He was needed, people in Roswell were decent—they weren’t the drunken jerks that Hank was—and they paid him six bucks an hour. Which to a kid who was used to very little that amount seemed like a whole lot.
Despite the part of him that cared for others, there was a part of Michael that was resentful. Saddened, secretly so, that his mother had left to begin with, then on top of that, knowing what a rotten son-of-a-bitch Hank was, that she had left her son with the man.
It wasn’t just that he drank. Michael didn’t have a problem with a man who drank. It was the fact that he played mind games with him. He wasn’t two people, nice one minute an ass the next, no not like that. No he was a jerk all the time. But he beat Michael down telling him that his mother left because she didn’t want to be a mother. She wanted to go out and have fun and not be a wife, not care for her little boy. Michael better be damn glad to have anyone who chose to raise him, or give him anything, Hank told him, over and over.
Eighteen years of hearing that had Michael in some tiny part in his heart, a small sliver that was big enough to hurt and to question, it had him believing Hank’s comments. Believing he wasn’t wanted ever by his mother and not seen as anything but an obligation to his dad.
Hank for years ran a car shop in Roswell. But his selling techniques fell on some people who were smart and he soon lost that business. He’d drawn welfare checks for the last twelve years because of it, using Michael as his crutch for not having to work ever again.
Michael decided that he might feel shame at home living with that lowly bastard, but when he was at school or anywhere else he could be Michael Guerin and be separate from his dad’s existence. He could be better. So when he went to school he thought of others, he tried to be considerate. It was this strong effort that Liz Parker had met at Alex’s Pre-Graduation party last month.
Liz didn’t know the effort Michael went to, but he did. Nobody had it easy in life. Michael never expected to. But when he came home one afternoon from Max’s and found his room thrashed, broken bottles all over and Hank’s throat slit from one of them, Michael knew it was time to make some changes…
After calling the cops, he sat and thought. My dad’s been killed and I’m relieved. In some way I’m relieved. No more listening to the complaints, the constant horrible things he’d say. No more hearing him tell me how I should live, how much of a sissy I am for choosing to be nice to people. Peace. In a level of its own, I have found utter peace.
-June 6, 2000
My name is Liz Parker. I’m seventeen years old and until recently I have lived my life pleasing everyone around me. Creating a pleasing side of me that my parents could be proud of, that my teachers could praise. Knowing deep inside that it wasn’t me. It never was.
Then, last month, at a party of Alex’s, one of my best friends, I sit with Michael Guerin, and I find that it’s okay to be me. I don’t have to be this other person. Deciding to be me has been hard though. Harder than the people on TV or those teenage seminars tell you it is. It’s hard because when you let yourself be yourself you face strong opposition at times.
On my journey to finally be myself this past month, I’ve faced some of this opposition. It has been horrible because I’ve begun to stand up and say what I don’t agree with. Even if it goes completely against what my mother thinks, or my dad thinks.
The main topic of Roswell earlier today was about Michael’s dad being killed. No one seems to be shocked. A man is dead and nobody in this damn town thinks its that important. As soon as I heard about it, I went looking for Michael. Again, against my parents’ wishes. They thought I should stay home and just let his family deal with their own problems. I couldn’t do that.
When I got to the police station and saw Michael, he just said, “Hey Liz. How are you?” I walked over to him and said, “Michael…I’m so sorry.” He shrugged and said, “It’s okay.” How could it be okay? His dad was dead. If my dad had died I would have been destroyed. They would have had to carry me away someplace because I couldn’t have faced it alone. But that’s me. How I would handle something doesn’t mean that is how Michael would handle it. And everyone put up two images, one that the world around them saw and the real one inside that they dealt with every second of their lives. The only thing is I’m trusting myself to show that real side out. Not everyone can do that. Some are scared to. I was for a very long time. Everyone dealt differently with situations.
Maybe I’m not supposed to know how it could be okay for Michael. Maybe it isn’t my business how he could smile and say It’s okay, Liz. But somehow I left the station wishing deeply inside me that I could find out what was inside of Michael. Who was the real Michael Guerin? What was he really thinking? TBC…
The Real Me
(Michael/Liz)
By, Angie
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Summary: The death of Hank Guerin gives Michael some space to figure out what he wants to do…
Spoilers: None!
A/N: I in no way am against The Go-Go’s or Cyndi Lauper and this part in no way is a slam against their music. I like both! Also, I do not own Mark Twain’s story The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Though it is a favorite story of mine.
Part Three—Gutting the Place
One Week Later…
June 13, 2000
Hell of a day to gut a house, Michael thought as he looked at the calendar and saw that today was Friday the 13th. But today worked for him, he thought. He’d waited seven days to do this and let all the investigators go through and find evidence—that turned out to be nothing—nothing that they were worried about since it was Hank and no one liked him. He had a dad like Huck Finn’s dad, Michael once told Max as a kid. He was like Huck and his dad was every bit the lousy good for nothing that Pap Finn was.
And strangely, like Pap, his dad had come up dead too. One day, Michael hoped he would feel some sort of sadness for losing his dad, but right then he felt that he was given another shot at living. He was going to take it.
Today was a great day to start that plan. He got up around eleven, his usual when he didn’t’ have to get up, and grabbing two large black Hefty bags, Michael began tossing everything that was his dad’s into it. Now that the cops were done, it was Michael’s to do what he wanted to with it. As far as he was concerned, what he thought was best was to take every bit of it and toss it out knowing it was going to the landfill. Getting himself in the cleaning mood he needed to be in, Michael turned on loud rock music and started tossing things.
An hour later, Michael had the entire trailer his. Not even a crumb or a lace of shoe was left of that jerk’s. It was all Michael’s now. Smiling, Michael lit a cigarette and leaned against the kitchen counter.
Now what?
Looking at the clock that said noon, Michael knew he had to work at three so he could shower and get cleaned up. Head into town early. He lived on the outside of Roswell in the desert. The single wide slate blue trailer was banged up with rust on it, but it had been the only place Michael had ever been in—except when sleeping over at Max and Isabel’s. Isabel was Max’s twin sister. Very briefly two years ago, Michael had had a crush on Isabel. She had a temper that he liked and could outdo anything he could. She was also damned good at basketball and could fix more than he could with cars.
Michael drove a bike, but if he had any problems, nine times out of ten it was Is who fixed them. She was gifted like that. She was a tomboy of a girl with sunshine blonde hair. Brown eyes like Max's and a big heart. She was sweet…as a sister. An honorary sister.
Maybe he’d go by and say hi to her and to Max. Walking into the bathroom, Michael took off all his clothes and stepped into the shower. He forgot to adjust the water so it was bitterly cold when he first sprayed it on himself. But after turning the knob several times and cussing it out, he found a nice hot temp that he liked. Ah! He thought to himself.
Bending over on the lip of the tub, he grabbed the Dial he used but was a good ways gone, Michael stuck it under water and wetting it as he was, he built up soap on his hand and wiped it all over. Everywhere needed this shower, Michael thought after his cleaning and not showering since yesterday. Michael was a clean person. If he felt even partially sweaty or dirty, he was in the shower.
Well he didn’t have to worry about smelling, Michael always thought in defense of his choosing to be clean.
Soap covered him from his neck, all down his tanned brown slightly hairy chest, over his stomach, down to his perfectly built—through hard work—thighs and over the hair that covered his astoundingly well endowed male member.
Not that he wasn’t proud of that part of himself…No not at all. Not Michael.
Actually on most days he could care less what size he was. He had been more interested in living with an asshole. Trying to keep from hearing his tantrums. He’s gone! Michael reminded himself. Amazing relief hit him again as he thought this.
Gone.
Now that he was free of Hank, he could think more about trivial things like how he looked, or what girls were available. The things eighteen-year-old guys actually did think about. Michael could finally be somewhat normal. If he could ever call anything that.
Twelve-thirty at Liz’s House…
Liz’s traitorous alarm clock was going off finally. But on a Saturday when it didn’t have to! Opening her eyes, Liz looked at it and grumbled. “Damn thing wont’ go off until seven fifteen on schooldays but goes off on time on Saturdays…” Groaning at how lousy she felt for staying up until four and waking up at twelve thirty, Liz lay in her full sized bed and debated to herself.
Do I climb out of this bed, get my lazy ass up, or do I just let my eyes close again, like they actually want to, and say forget it?
Her mother walking to her door and exclaiming, “Are you going to sleep all day Liz?” Had Liz choosing to…pull the blankets more strongly on her and say in a muddled voice, “It’s Saturday…I don’t have to be up if I don’t’ want to be.”
Rolling her eyes and letting out a huff, Nancy Parker walked back downstairs.
Let mom be up at dawn. I want to sleep in on days that I can!
Liz’s mom’s sister ran the Crashdown Café. Mom was asking her here lately if Liz wanted a summer job as a waitress before starting at Roswell Community in August. Liz didn’t want to work. She wanted to be a bum this summer. Mom and Liz had gone the rounds over that because Liz finally admitted that she didn’t want to work. She wanted to take it easy before college.
Her mother couldn’t understand that and tried to bully her or pressure her by saying that she and Liz’s dad weren’t going to fork the money for college and if grants and loans didn’t cover it, it was on Liz’s back how it got done.
Fine. She could handle whatever she had to, Liz thought firmly at the time. Now as she slept in bed, she dreamed about the girl that she used to be and argued with that person in sleep. I’m not that Liz anymore! I’m a stronger girl. A woman. A woman who isn’t going to be belittled anymore. If I choose to be a bum then I damn well will!
Liz saw Michael later that day as she walked into the Crashdown to get a burger and Saturn rings. She smiled at him, saw him asking her to come over to talk, but Maria stopped her.
“Hey Lizzie. How are you?”
Maria did work here by her mother’s orders. Well and because her mother was a single mom and she had to help out. She had to work hard to pay the bills…what her mom, Amy DeLuca didn’t pay out herself working at Align Insurance as a clerk. They’d been each other’s rocks, Liz knew, when Jim DeLuca decided to leave. He had gambling problems and couldn’t stay focused on working a full time job to help support the family. Maria had worked since she was thirteen if that said anything, Liz thought to herself, feeling for her best friend. Jim DeLuca had been gone since right after Maria’s 12th birthday. Six years ago. Maria was a tad older than Liz—she’d been held back in the second grade.
Anyway, Liz had pages of Jim DeLuca is a Jerk in her journal. They were a part of her history too because she was so close to Maria. It had hurt her badly to see Maria cry over losing her dad. Thinking about it now, seeing Maria’s tired blue eyes smiling, Liz felt bad still. She would never tell Maria she felt sorry for her. She knew it would hurt her more and Maria would yell at her for doing something she hated. Pitying her.
Smiling brightly, Liz said, “Hey. How’s it going?”
Maria looked over the place and then back at Liz saying, “It’s going. Not too bad yet. But I figure it will get worse. It’s Saturday.”
Saturdays were terrible in the café. Liz had seen it throughout the years. Summertime…add that to the day of the week when most everyone was off—you had a madhouse. Nearly every weekend, someone called in and it all went to three people. One of them being Maria.
Michael was here a lot too, Liz thought, looking over his way. What was it like for him to be a head cook? Did he like cooking? Probably not. Liz hated it, so it was real easy to think that others would too.
Looking at Maria again, Liz said, “Well I needed to get out of the house for awhile. I hoped you’d be here.” And I hoped Michael would be too, Liz thought inwardly blushing.
Maria pulled a strand of her blonde hair back from her eyes and said, “I usually am. So what is going on with you?”
Liz said, “My mom is bugging me, asking me to work here.”
Maria cringed outwardly and said, “No! Liz you don’t want to work here. Believe me. I wouldn’t work here if I could get out of it. It sucks.”
Nodding, Liz said, “I know. I told my mom…” How could she say this without sounding like a spoiled brat to a girl who had to work. Who didn’t have a choice? Liz said after a minute’s thought, “I told her that I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do.” She’d actually said No, I don’t want to work this summer. I want to take it off like most kids do my age.
Grinning at her friend, Maria said, “Uh-huh. Liz you don’t have to lie to me. I know you.”
Liz said, “I didn’t want you thinking that I was a spoiled child.”
Maria said, “I don’t. Just a little rebellious these days. But it’s cool. You are seventeen and I’m proud to see you doing what you want. Like I said I’d stay home during the summer if I could. I’d watch soaps and not think about a fryer or a frozen burger. Ever.”
Liz said, “I’d invite you over later, but my mom’s hanging around me like crazy. Truthfully I wish I had a place to go to.”
Maria said, “I wonder what’s up. Your mom was always laid back.”
Liz said exasperatedly, “I know! I wish I knew what it was. I guess…I guess it’s because I’m being myself. Maybe when she saw that I was a little off from the person she thought I was, maybe it scared her.”
Laughing, good-naturedly, Maria said, ‘Scared her? Liz. Come on. You who may as well have grown up in Mr. Rogers Neighborhood for being so innocent and sensible?”
Liz said, “My mother is a nervous kind of person, Maria, you know that. When my period started she had to tell me in detail for two solid hours how to say no to sex. She was so scared I’d have it that she had me to her doctor’s office. I’ve been on the Pill since then.”
Maria replied, “My mom didn’t. She doesn’t want to even speak of sex to me. At least your mom does.”
Agreeing, Liz said, “I guess…but Maria I’m a virgin. I’ve not even thought of having sex. Okay maybe I have, but I know how to say no. Anyway, I only said it to prove a point. My mom is neurotic.”
Maria smiled up at Max and Isabel as they walked into the café. She said, “Hey guys, over here. Come cheer up Liz.”
Max and Isabel walked over and sat at Liz’s table. They had been best friends with Liz and Maria since grade school. There was nothing they would not do for each other or tell each other.
Except that Liz was starting to like Michael. She wouldn’t tell them that because they were friends with him too.
Max said, “Something wrong, Liz?”
Liz said, “No. Not really. I’m just owly. I’ll get over it. What’s up at the Evans’s?”
Isabel smiled largely and said, “My idiot brother here is starting to listen to the Go-Gos. Liz I think we need to help him. Badly.”
Max said defensively, “What’s wrong with liking the Go-Go’s?”
Michael walked up to the table carrying a notepad and busted up laughing. He said, “When you start cranking up Cyndi Lauper I’m personally calling that talk show lady and telling her your story.”
Max rolled his eyes and said, “Yeah, sure you are.” He grinned, knowing Michael was picking on him.
Michael turned to Maria and said, “The food’s been done for five minutes.”
Maria said, “And? You can’t walk it out to the customers? What’s wrong with you?”
Michael started to tell her what was wrong with him when Maria said, “Fine…fine…I’ll take the order.” She reached for the tray on the empty table, where he’d set it, and told Liz she’d talk to her later.
Max looked at Isabel and asked, “You going out with Alex tonight?”
Smiling, Isabel said, “I don’t’ know. The last time I went out with him he pissed me off. So I’m thinking seriously about taking Kyle up on his offer to go to this Buddha movie he’s got planned instead. It’ll give me a laugh anyway.”
Liz asked, “What happened with Alex?”
Isabel’s brown eyes showed disgust as she said, “I went out with him and he spent the entire night eating his food and mine, then he talked about the different colors of vomit he threw up the night before after eating at some restaurant in Nupal. Like I needed to hear about any of that! It irritated me. But I’m not a snob, so I listened. As the date went on, he began to tell me about the Power Rangers and asked me what color ranger I thought he’d look best in if he chose to be one for Halloween. He told me to never eat beans and rice because it caused him to be sick for a week. I was disgusted and didn’t kiss him when he dropped me off…” Grinning down at her hands, she said, “I got out of his car and hurried to the front door.”
Liz said, “Maybe he was nervous.”
Michael smiled at Liz then said, “Alex is…well he’s strange. But he’s Alex. I doubt he meant to disgust you.”
Isabel said, “He probably didn’t. I just didn’t know what to say to his comments. Like I said I’m not better than him or anyone. But I just was stumped and wanted to go home. Maybe that makes me a snob.” Isabel felt uncomfortable, worrying that it did. Maybe she should keep her date.
Max said, “Is you don’t have to see Alex if you don’t want to.”
Isabel said, “I know…and I’m not sure I will…but now I feel bad, talking about it. Hearing myself say what I did. Do what I did. Maybe I will give him a second chance. Right now I’m hungry and I’m ordering some food.”
Michael looked for Maria, saw her with another family, so he opened his notepad and said, “What do you want?”
Isabel told him, as did the others. They were all ready for something to eat…despite hearing about Alex’s vomiting multi colors….
When the gang broke up and all were gone but Liz and Michael, Liz walked over to him at the kitchen. She smiled and said, “I’m sorry I couldn’t stop over here earlier. Maria stopped me when I got here.”
Shrugging, Michael said, “It’s cool.” He was cleaning up the fryer and the rest of the kitchen that Maria hadn’t done before leaving twenty minutes ago. Liz said, “Good. So what were you wanting to talk about?”
Michael looked over at Liz from the sink and said, “Us. What’s going on.”
Liz swallowed nervousness and said, “Oh…” Smiling a little, she said, “Well…okay.”
Michael walked over after rinsing and drying his hands and said, “Want to sit with me a few minutes?”
Nodding, Liz said, “Sure.”
She walked with Michael to booth and sat across from him. She stayed gone all day and knew her dad and mom were going to yell when she got home, but going home was something she dreaded these days. She’d take the shouting when she got there. Now she’d smile at Michael and be thankful to be sitting with him. Man was he hot!
Liz said, “I’ve been thinking about our kiss…wondering if it meant anything at all…” she grinned and said, “I mean people do that, they kiss…sometimes it just happens.”
Michael looked at Liz and smiled saying, “You ramble.”
Liz said, “What?” She laughed and said, “Yeah, I do sometimes. Sorry.”
Michael asked, “Why are you sorry? It’s sweet.”
Liz blushed.
Michael looked into Liz’s dark brown eyes and touching her hands with his he said, “I like you, Liz.”
Liz said, “I like you too, Michael.”
Michael moved across the table, closer to Liz’s eyes, and said, “Kissing you that day…it meant something to me Liz.” He kissed her again, then said with total intensity and fire, “Now that my dad is gone things in my life are going to change. Today, I’ve been thinking about those things, what I want to do. One of them, a huge one, Liz, is to get to know who you are. The real Liz Parker.”
Liz grinned and said honestly, “I have to tell you, Michael, I’m bitchy and I and strong willed and determined to live my life without anyone convincing me that I should live it their way.”
Michael rose his brows and said, “Good. I don’t want to go out with a girl who’s a Barbie doll. If I wanted a bendable Susie, I’d be looking for someone else. Go ahead and be bitchy because sometimes I’m bitchy and I wouldn’t want to go into something pretending. I don’t believe in that.”
Liz sat stunned, then said with admiration and a stronger interest in Michael, “Neither do I. So…?”
Michael said, “So? What?”
Letting her eyes get huge, Liz said, “What is the plan? Are we dating?”
Michael said, “What do you think?” To answer, Michael leaned forward to kiss her again.
Liz smiled as she walked inside that night. It was a smile that was shared by someone else…just not her mom and dad…
Liz dealt with the yelling and went to her room. It was going on ten at night. Climbing onto her bed she wrote in her journal all about how nice it was to sit at the café with Michael. For the first time ever, Liz Parker was going out with someone—mysteriously sexy, Michael Guerin.
TBC…
The Real Me
(Michael/Liz)
By, Angie
Rating: Teen
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Four—Headbutting Dilemma
Liz was in a mood. The date was Friday, June 25th, and instead of her staying home, reading, she was walking over to Michael’s window, preparing to knock on it. It was stemmed from a fight at home. Mom and dad on her butt again because she was dating someone.
Thinking about it again, Liz recalled what had happened a little while ago:
Liz had been in her bedroom, writing in her journal when her mother walked in and said, “Liz honey we need to talk.”
Putting her journal under her white pillow, Liz smiled and said, “Okay. What is it?”
Sitting on her bed, next to Liz, Nancy Parker said delicately, “Honey I’ve become suspicious that you are dating someone.”
Liz inwardly rolled her eyes, then chastised herself for doing it. Mom looked worried.
Liz said, “I am.”
Nancy said, “Liz…. I don’t want to see you involved…you are too young…things can happen…”
Liz smiled and touched her mom’s hand saying, “Mom, nothing is going to happen…okay? Michael and me…we’re good friends. We’re dating, but nothing is going on. It’s just…” What was it? Liz wondered.
Smiling warmer, she said, “It’s nice. But not serious. Not at all.”
Nancy stood and that was when her neuroticism stepped into the bedroom. Pacing, Nancy spilled her story about a boy named Nate that she was interested in, in school. It was a brief thing, Liz recalled, hearing it more than fifty times in her seventeen years. It didn’t’ last and he went to school spreading horrid stories about it. Nancy was mortified and still felt the bitterness from it and the fear that Liz was going to do the same things…find a jerk like Nate…be a victim.
Liz really tried to be sympathetic, but after thirty minutes of hearing her mother’s story, she said, “Mom…Mom! I am not going to do that. Okay? Michael is a nice person. He wouldn’t spread such garbage about me…even if we did make love.” Seeing her mother’s stark shock, Liz said, “We’re not sleeping together. But I’m saying if we did…Mom you have to stop worrying that I’m going to be terrorized or something. Nothing bad is going to happen to me. If it did? Mom I’d make it. I’d get through it. I’m strong.”
Nancy said defensively, “So was I! Yet I still found myself the talk of my high school.”
Liz rolled her eyes outwardly now and saw her mother’s disdain from it. Whatever, Liz thought at this point. She was sick of the lectures and the paranoia. When was she going to stop with it? When Liz was forty? Would she make Liz go to her at forty and hear the same damn things?
Nancy said, “Fine. I’ve said all I can.”
Liz thought, Finally, but tried as she said, “Mom…I’m going to be okay.”
Nancy’s eyes showed huge doubt as she said, “I hope so.” She walked out of Liz’s room.
And the more Liz thought, the more it ticked her off. Why did her mother have to put her through this? Why couldn’t Liz be Liz? What was wrong with trusting a guy? Damn it she liked Michael!
Putting on her tennis shoes, Liz rode her bike over to Michael’s…his house had to be better than this.
Knocking on his glass, Liz saw Michael’s surprise, his wonder. He opened his front door in blue jeans and a hot white tank top. His spiked brown hair looked as good as it had earlier when Liz saw him at the café, Liz thought. She smiled and said, “Michael…I had to stop over here.”
Michael said, “Come on in, Liz. What’s going on?”
Liz shook her head and said, “My mother…actually my parents…they are driving me nuts.”
Walking with Liz to the couch, Michael sat beside her and said, “Really? How?”
Liz looked up at Michael and said, “They think because I’m dating that I’m…I’m going to sleep with you. They don’t’ trust me at all. I love them both…I love my mother and I’m sorry that she had the bad things happen to her that she did…”
Michael said, “Bad things?”
Liz explained then said, “I’m really sorry about it…but that doesn’t mean I will! It exasperates me, Michael. Just because I am Nancy Parker’s daughter…that doesn’t mean I’m Nancy Parker. You know what I’m saying?”
Nodding, Michael said, “I do. Just because I was Hank Guerin’s son doesn’t make me him either. But people like to judge and they like to talk…and they sure like to say like father like son…”
Liz said in song, “Or like mother like daughter.”
Michael said, “Right. So…you sneaked over here.”
Liz said, “I had to. Michael I was so mad…I had to leave. I know they are going to be pissed off tomorrow but…” Shaking her head she said quietly, “I rode my bike over here.”
Michael said, “Well do you want to talk about them more?”
Liz said, “Not really.” She looked up at Michael and said, “What is so damned wrong with wanting to date?”
Michael said, “Nothing.” He grinned, figuring she would talk more. Knowing Liz was a rambler. Feeling for her and more than willing to listen.
Liz turned to Michael and said uneasily, “I’m not what my mom wants me to be, Michael. I’m a different person.”
Michael touched Liz’s hand on her knee and said, “What’s wrong with being different? I’m weird as hell, Liz. As anyone in Roswell.”
Liz grinned at Michael and said, “You’re not weird, Michael…just…you.”
Michael chuckled and said, “Right. So what’s wrong with it?”
Liz looked deeper into Michael’s brown eyes and said, “Nothing…” Smiling again she said, “Nothing’s wrong with it.”
Michael said, ‘Why don’t we turn on the TV and hang out for awhile?”
Liz nodded and said, “Okay…” She leaned back against the couch, beside Michael. Watching the channels on the TV change one picture to another as Michael flipped through them, Liz smiled. Here…in Michael Guerin’s trailer, Liz could be Liz. It was okay to be herself. She didn’t have to listen to her mothers obsessive paranoia or her dad’s rantings…here she could just be Liz Parker.
Getting cozy next to her boyfriend, Liz felt happiness…..TBC…
(Michael/Liz)
By, Angie
Rating: Teen to Mature
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
A/N: This is my first Michael/Liz story…
May, 2000
Liz was late to school—again. For some reason her alarm clock didn’t like her anymore. She set it every night for six-thirty and always wound up getting out of bed at quarter after seven. She got to school at five to eight and had to hurry to her locker to get her books. It had been this way all through her junior year last year and was working on being her pattern halfway through her final year of high school. She still hated it.
Sweating and fearing that last bell was going to ring any second, Liz turned her combo knob too fast and swore. Damn thing was going to be tricky again today. Turning around to see what the clock said, Liz saw the big hand inching toward the twelve in what felt like a Speedy Gonzalez way. Damn it! She told herself.
Michael walked over to her and said, “You know if you’d do that slower you’d get your locker open.”
Looking up into those wonderful brown eyes of his that now felt irritating because she was late, Liz snapped, “Really? Well I don’t have time to go at a slow pace. This damn thing won’t work and I’m going to be late again. One more time and I know I’ll be in ISS.”
Michael said nonchalantly, “I’ve been there. It’s not so scary. Pretty boring actually.”
Rolling her eyes, Liz said, “Well if I wind up in there my parents will ground me until fall when I leave for college. So I can’t afford…”
Suddenly the bell rang.
Liz’s palms were wet and she was nervously working at her locker combo now.
Michael walked over and said, “Here. Let me work at it.”
Liz said, “No! I’ve got to get in there…you don’t know my combination…I’m not going to get out of the tardy this time…My parents are going to be furious with me.” She was erratic sounding, but she was scared. Liz was not one who liked to be late, or to get in trouble. She followed the rules, she did things the right way. She was a good student and a good girl at home.
Michael merely nudged her back and said, “A friend of mine had this locker last year and he shared it with me last semester. The partner of his chose to get his own.” In seconds, Michael had it open.
Liz merely stared at him. Shocked, embarrassed, and now wondering what to say. All she could get out was, “Thanks.”
Michael shrugged and said, “You worry too much Liz.” He smiled at her and walked away.
Liz smiled back.
~Four Hours Later~
Sitting at the cafeteria table she’d sat at for the past four years, Liz talked with Maria, her best friend. She said, “Maria, he came over and just opened the locker. I’ve fought that thing all year and he opens it in minutes! It was embarrassing.”
Her blonde haired friend, Maria picked at her burger and fries and said unenthused when it came to Michael Guerin, “Liz you’re making way too much out of this. I mean so what? So he came by and he opened your locker. It wasn’t like he took you to out and bought you a CD or a new set of pens for your journal. He does that sometime and you can be impressed.”
Liz grinned and said, “Yeah, since no one but you knows I write in a journal I’d be shocked…and impressed. It was just eerie. I don’t’ like eerie.”
Maria grabbed Liz’s drink and taking a swallow she said, “Like I believe that. You are totally into the guy. I’ve seen it. Alex picks on you when you don’t notice because of your drooling.”
Liz blushed and said, “No way. He doesn’t do that. You’re joking with me, Maria.”
Maria grabbed her Coke back and said, “I’m not either. There he is by the way, coming into the line.”
Liz glanced up, saw Michael telling the lunch lady that he would not eat what they were serving if he was starving on a deserted island somewhere. Her eyes stayed on him. On the way he gave the lunch lady a Give Me A Break expression, putting off a cockiness that Liz liked. The way his jeans fit, the way he wore his cowboy boots beneath them not giving a damn if it was stylish or not. How he saved a loner girl from dropping her lunch and helping her keep from bumping against a table as she walked to her quiet table. Michael was just sweet.
He just never saw Liz. Not the way that Liz saw him. It doesn’t help that I’m always whining about something when he’s around, Liz thought chiding herself.
Liz tried to control her hormones that wanted to walk over to him, strip off her clothes and tell him that she was his if he wanted her. Oh how many times had she fantasized about offering herself? Or taking off his clothes and making love in a full sized bed for hours and hours? She tried but it was hard.
Finally she looked over at Maria and said, “He’s sexy but he doesn’t see Liz. He only sees a girl who likes to bitch.”
Maria said with a laugh, “I’m a notorious bitch and Michael barely says hello to me. Of course I’m not the least bit attracted to him. He’s a pain in the ass. I’ve got my eyes on Max Evans. You can have Michael any day. I think from how often he looks at you when you’re talking to me or to Alex that he’d have you any day if you’d show him you wanted him to.”
Liz looked over at Michael, watching him eat and talk with Isabel and Max, then looking back at Maria she said, “Yeah. Sure. His interests are in hanging with those two. Not with me…” she sighed and said, “I’m nothing more than a girl who comes to this school.”
Maria said, “Well you are coming to Alex’s pre-graduation party tonight aren’t you?”
Liz took another bite of her burger then drank a large drink of her Coke, wondering yet again why she bothered to eat this school’s food and didn’t bring her lunch like the smart ones did. She frowned, set it back down, and said to Maria, “Yeah…I planned to.”
Maria said, “Good. Maybe you’ll see that Michael does look. And he likes you.”
~Later on that Night~
As the clock said seven that evening, Liz brushed her shoulder length brown hair and left it down as she walked to the living room. Looking at her mom and dad she said, “I’m going over to Alex’s for awhile. Is that okay?”
Her mom said, “I don’t see why not.”
Her dad added, “Be sure to call if you’re staying later than ten. You know the rules, Liz.”
Nodding, Liz said, “I know.”
Grabbing her light purple jacket, Liz said, “Bye.” She walked out the door just as Maria drove up in her Jetta. Smiling largely at how her friend drove with loud heavy metal music going, Liz opened the door and climbed in. She said, “Jeez Maria.”
Maria said, “Sorry.” She turned it down some and said, “So are you ready?” She was dressed up in a pink shirt and flowered pants. Liz inwardly shook her head and smiled. Maria was her own kind of gal. She did things as she liked and she made her own mark in Roswell as a unique person. Liz tried to follow that, but it was too hard. Following the right road was best and it got more positive responses than being unusual.
Inside, though, Liz didn’t feel normal. She felt she was pretending. Because part of her, a huge part, wanted to be just like Maria DeLuca. She wanted to get out there and explore life. She wanted to dress wildly in flower clothes and listen to loud blasting music and make out with Michael Guerin in a hidden room.
Above all, one day, she wanted to know what it was like to be herself…
Michael was there at the party. He was joking with Max, his best friend. Man he had a nice smile! Liz ogled as she stood near Maria, listening halfway to her talking about how hot Max was and how one day she was going to…yada…yada…yada…with his…bleep…bleep…bleep.
Liz just wanted to see what it was like to hold Michael’s hand. To be kissed by him for the first time. To have him walk with his arm around her shoulders and have him tell her that he liked her. To walk at night with him and smell his cologne on his shirt. Have him stop out of the blue and tell her, ‘Liz I know I’ve told you before, but I love you.’
She was probably living a fantasy, Liz told herself, hoping something would happen that never would. Maybe Maria was right. Just stick to guys that were more noticeably interested. Thing was, if Maria was so much better at it, then why was she standing here while Max was across the room?
Drifting off partway through the night at Alex’s, Liz walked into the kitchen, hoping to get a drink of Coke. Maybe she’d see Alex in there and she could thank him again for inviting her to the Pre-Graduation party. People were already getting wild in the living room and some where making out upstairs. Liz just walked into the kitchen and said aloud, having heard someone in there, “Alex I’m getting a glass of Coke. My throat is dry.”
The voice turned from where he stood, by the counter and smiling he said, “Here, Liz. I’ll get you a cup of Coke.”
It was Michael! He was pouring glasses of drinks for people. And offering her a glass.
Liz felt like a sappy romantic idiot, but she smiled broadly and said, “Thank you, Michael.”
Taking the drink, Liz thanked him again, inwardly asking herself why she had to thank him twice for pouring her a glass when he was pouring everyone a glass! She just answered inside that it was because she was a nut, who had the biggest thing for him…stupidly because he didn’t like her like that.
Michael leaned against the counter and said, “So…Liz. What do you do to have a good time?”
Innocently shocked that he asked her that, Liz said, “Me? What do I do? Well…”
Michael grinned and said, “Yeah. I mean I can tell you aren’t a partier. You don’t go to dances that often and you are pretty on top of things in class. So I just wondered what you did to have a good time. What you enjoyed doing.”
Liz heard what he was saying and for some reason felt he was insinuating that what she did wasn’t things she liked doing at all. Truthfully part of the time they weren’t. But no one else in her life knew that! Not even Maria and she knew her pretty well.
Liz smiled, trying to be optimistic, but when she thought about what she enjoyed on a regular basis, all she could say was, “Drawing. I enjoy drawing. I write in a journal sometimes.”
Michael said interested, “Really? That’s cool. I write sometimes too.”
Liz said, “I didn’t know that.” She smiled. Of course she didn’t’ know a damn thing about Michael! But she told him that anyway.
Michael smiled and said, “Yep. I also enjoy overcooking someone’s burger at the Café when they piss me off. But that’s me.”
Liz saw they were alone in the room now and started talking. She said, “I am a straight A student at Roswell High. I study hard at night and on weekends for my grades. I think people think I get them easily. I don’t.”
Michael said, “I didn’t think that.”
Liz said, “I like school.” She felt like a liar saying that. She didn’t always like school.
Michael seemed to see that and said, “What don’t you like?”
Liz looked him in the eyes and said, “I don’t know what you’re asking.”
Michael said, “I’m not going to go blab it, Liz. Here. Why don’t’ we go into another room.”
Liz slowly walked with him, figuring why not. She walked with him into a drawing room and closing the door, Liz walked to a chair and watched Michael sit across from her.
He said, “Now. You tell me you like school, you like studying. Okay. What kinds of things don’t you like? What does Liz like that isn’t at Roswell High.”
Liz felt nervous and that he was asking her questions she was scared of answering. Because if she answered them, she knew, that meant she really was playing a game with everyone, being what they expected, and not at all being Liz Parker.
But she was alone with Michael and somehow she felt he wouldn’t blab, so she said, “I don’t do parties, you’re right. I’d rather sit at home and watch TV in my sweats and Tweety T-shirt. I hate feeling pressured sometimes by my parents. I want to hang out with my friends more, but they hover over me like I’m going to do something that is going to ruin my life if they aren’t right there to guide me. I hate being seen as a snob because I like to read and write, because I’m not into drinking or doing drugs or smoking. Because I have saved myself for the right person. I’ve not met him yet…so because I want to wait, I’m some kind of prude. My parents don’t call me this, but others at school I think see me this way. That was why I stopped going to school dances…why I won’t go to parties that aren’t held by my best friends. Am I boring because I don’t want to stand out and look important? Because maybe I don’t want to be valedictorian of my class?”
Michael shook his head, seeing Liz was near tears, and said, “No…Liz I don’t think so.” He had no idea that she was that miserable. He walked over to her and said, “My dad is a drunk and everyone at school knows it. People think by the time I’m thirty I’m going to be an alcoholic jerk because he is.”
Liz said, “It’s stupid and unfair the way people stereotype each other! So what if your dad is a jerk. That doesn’t mean you are. For a son of a drunk I don’t think I’ve seen a nicer guy at Roswell High.”
Michael touched Liz’s face and said, “Liz…”
Liz went on, “You help people, Michael. You calm me down when I’m irrational and…and you helped me see that I’m not happy being the Liz everyone sees. I’m more than that.”
Michael looked into Liz’s eyes and she looked into his for a few seconds. Finally, Michael lowered his mouth to hers and Liz got her first kiss. She held on to his shoulders and after he broke away she heard him say to her, “Liz I’ve liked you for a long time. I didn’t know you, but I’ve liked you. I like you as you, as Liz Parker who doesn’t have to be what everyone wants. You can just be yourself with me.”
Liz smiled and said, “I will. From now on I will. Thanks for reminding me that I could be…”
TBC…
The Real Me
(Michael/Liz)
By, Angie
Rating: T (Teen)
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Summary: A change is coming that will affect Michael and Liz in different ways…
Spoilers: None!
Part Two—When Change Comes…
June 6, 2000
Michael had never really known what it was like to be loved. His mother ran off and left when he was barely two and his dad who was supposed to make up for it did so by buying booze and staying constantly drunk. Whining to Michael about her leaving. Calling her horrible names and blaming her for all the problems in his life. Even though it was sixteen years later.
Never knowing what it was like to have a damn thing and knowing his options were to continue having nothing or to work and earn it, Michael got a job at the Crashdown Café last year. As head cook, Michael didn’t do so bad. He was needed, people in Roswell were decent—they weren’t the drunken jerks that Hank was—and they paid him six bucks an hour. Which to a kid who was used to very little that amount seemed like a whole lot.
Despite the part of him that cared for others, there was a part of Michael that was resentful. Saddened, secretly so, that his mother had left to begin with, then on top of that, knowing what a rotten son-of-a-bitch Hank was, that she had left her son with the man.
It wasn’t just that he drank. Michael didn’t have a problem with a man who drank. It was the fact that he played mind games with him. He wasn’t two people, nice one minute an ass the next, no not like that. No he was a jerk all the time. But he beat Michael down telling him that his mother left because she didn’t want to be a mother. She wanted to go out and have fun and not be a wife, not care for her little boy. Michael better be damn glad to have anyone who chose to raise him, or give him anything, Hank told him, over and over.
Eighteen years of hearing that had Michael in some tiny part in his heart, a small sliver that was big enough to hurt and to question, it had him believing Hank’s comments. Believing he wasn’t wanted ever by his mother and not seen as anything but an obligation to his dad.
Hank for years ran a car shop in Roswell. But his selling techniques fell on some people who were smart and he soon lost that business. He’d drawn welfare checks for the last twelve years because of it, using Michael as his crutch for not having to work ever again.
Michael decided that he might feel shame at home living with that lowly bastard, but when he was at school or anywhere else he could be Michael Guerin and be separate from his dad’s existence. He could be better. So when he went to school he thought of others, he tried to be considerate. It was this strong effort that Liz Parker had met at Alex’s Pre-Graduation party last month.
Liz didn’t know the effort Michael went to, but he did. Nobody had it easy in life. Michael never expected to. But when he came home one afternoon from Max’s and found his room thrashed, broken bottles all over and Hank’s throat slit from one of them, Michael knew it was time to make some changes…
After calling the cops, he sat and thought. My dad’s been killed and I’m relieved. In some way I’m relieved. No more listening to the complaints, the constant horrible things he’d say. No more hearing him tell me how I should live, how much of a sissy I am for choosing to be nice to people. Peace. In a level of its own, I have found utter peace.
-June 6, 2000
My name is Liz Parker. I’m seventeen years old and until recently I have lived my life pleasing everyone around me. Creating a pleasing side of me that my parents could be proud of, that my teachers could praise. Knowing deep inside that it wasn’t me. It never was.
Then, last month, at a party of Alex’s, one of my best friends, I sit with Michael Guerin, and I find that it’s okay to be me. I don’t have to be this other person. Deciding to be me has been hard though. Harder than the people on TV or those teenage seminars tell you it is. It’s hard because when you let yourself be yourself you face strong opposition at times.
On my journey to finally be myself this past month, I’ve faced some of this opposition. It has been horrible because I’ve begun to stand up and say what I don’t agree with. Even if it goes completely against what my mother thinks, or my dad thinks.
The main topic of Roswell earlier today was about Michael’s dad being killed. No one seems to be shocked. A man is dead and nobody in this damn town thinks its that important. As soon as I heard about it, I went looking for Michael. Again, against my parents’ wishes. They thought I should stay home and just let his family deal with their own problems. I couldn’t do that.
When I got to the police station and saw Michael, he just said, “Hey Liz. How are you?” I walked over to him and said, “Michael…I’m so sorry.” He shrugged and said, “It’s okay.” How could it be okay? His dad was dead. If my dad had died I would have been destroyed. They would have had to carry me away someplace because I couldn’t have faced it alone. But that’s me. How I would handle something doesn’t mean that is how Michael would handle it. And everyone put up two images, one that the world around them saw and the real one inside that they dealt with every second of their lives. The only thing is I’m trusting myself to show that real side out. Not everyone can do that. Some are scared to. I was for a very long time. Everyone dealt differently with situations.
Maybe I’m not supposed to know how it could be okay for Michael. Maybe it isn’t my business how he could smile and say It’s okay, Liz. But somehow I left the station wishing deeply inside me that I could find out what was inside of Michael. Who was the real Michael Guerin? What was he really thinking? TBC…
The Real Me
(Michael/Liz)
By, Angie
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Summary: The death of Hank Guerin gives Michael some space to figure out what he wants to do…
Spoilers: None!
A/N: I in no way am against The Go-Go’s or Cyndi Lauper and this part in no way is a slam against their music. I like both! Also, I do not own Mark Twain’s story The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Though it is a favorite story of mine.
Part Three—Gutting the Place
One Week Later…
June 13, 2000
Hell of a day to gut a house, Michael thought as he looked at the calendar and saw that today was Friday the 13th. But today worked for him, he thought. He’d waited seven days to do this and let all the investigators go through and find evidence—that turned out to be nothing—nothing that they were worried about since it was Hank and no one liked him. He had a dad like Huck Finn’s dad, Michael once told Max as a kid. He was like Huck and his dad was every bit the lousy good for nothing that Pap Finn was.
And strangely, like Pap, his dad had come up dead too. One day, Michael hoped he would feel some sort of sadness for losing his dad, but right then he felt that he was given another shot at living. He was going to take it.
Today was a great day to start that plan. He got up around eleven, his usual when he didn’t’ have to get up, and grabbing two large black Hefty bags, Michael began tossing everything that was his dad’s into it. Now that the cops were done, it was Michael’s to do what he wanted to with it. As far as he was concerned, what he thought was best was to take every bit of it and toss it out knowing it was going to the landfill. Getting himself in the cleaning mood he needed to be in, Michael turned on loud rock music and started tossing things.
An hour later, Michael had the entire trailer his. Not even a crumb or a lace of shoe was left of that jerk’s. It was all Michael’s now. Smiling, Michael lit a cigarette and leaned against the kitchen counter.
Now what?
Looking at the clock that said noon, Michael knew he had to work at three so he could shower and get cleaned up. Head into town early. He lived on the outside of Roswell in the desert. The single wide slate blue trailer was banged up with rust on it, but it had been the only place Michael had ever been in—except when sleeping over at Max and Isabel’s. Isabel was Max’s twin sister. Very briefly two years ago, Michael had had a crush on Isabel. She had a temper that he liked and could outdo anything he could. She was also damned good at basketball and could fix more than he could with cars.
Michael drove a bike, but if he had any problems, nine times out of ten it was Is who fixed them. She was gifted like that. She was a tomboy of a girl with sunshine blonde hair. Brown eyes like Max's and a big heart. She was sweet…as a sister. An honorary sister.
Maybe he’d go by and say hi to her and to Max. Walking into the bathroom, Michael took off all his clothes and stepped into the shower. He forgot to adjust the water so it was bitterly cold when he first sprayed it on himself. But after turning the knob several times and cussing it out, he found a nice hot temp that he liked. Ah! He thought to himself.
Bending over on the lip of the tub, he grabbed the Dial he used but was a good ways gone, Michael stuck it under water and wetting it as he was, he built up soap on his hand and wiped it all over. Everywhere needed this shower, Michael thought after his cleaning and not showering since yesterday. Michael was a clean person. If he felt even partially sweaty or dirty, he was in the shower.
Well he didn’t have to worry about smelling, Michael always thought in defense of his choosing to be clean.
Soap covered him from his neck, all down his tanned brown slightly hairy chest, over his stomach, down to his perfectly built—through hard work—thighs and over the hair that covered his astoundingly well endowed male member.
Not that he wasn’t proud of that part of himself…No not at all. Not Michael.
Actually on most days he could care less what size he was. He had been more interested in living with an asshole. Trying to keep from hearing his tantrums. He’s gone! Michael reminded himself. Amazing relief hit him again as he thought this.
Gone.
Now that he was free of Hank, he could think more about trivial things like how he looked, or what girls were available. The things eighteen-year-old guys actually did think about. Michael could finally be somewhat normal. If he could ever call anything that.
Twelve-thirty at Liz’s House…
Liz’s traitorous alarm clock was going off finally. But on a Saturday when it didn’t have to! Opening her eyes, Liz looked at it and grumbled. “Damn thing wont’ go off until seven fifteen on schooldays but goes off on time on Saturdays…” Groaning at how lousy she felt for staying up until four and waking up at twelve thirty, Liz lay in her full sized bed and debated to herself.
Do I climb out of this bed, get my lazy ass up, or do I just let my eyes close again, like they actually want to, and say forget it?
Her mother walking to her door and exclaiming, “Are you going to sleep all day Liz?” Had Liz choosing to…pull the blankets more strongly on her and say in a muddled voice, “It’s Saturday…I don’t have to be up if I don’t’ want to be.”
Rolling her eyes and letting out a huff, Nancy Parker walked back downstairs.
Let mom be up at dawn. I want to sleep in on days that I can!
Liz’s mom’s sister ran the Crashdown Café. Mom was asking her here lately if Liz wanted a summer job as a waitress before starting at Roswell Community in August. Liz didn’t want to work. She wanted to be a bum this summer. Mom and Liz had gone the rounds over that because Liz finally admitted that she didn’t want to work. She wanted to take it easy before college.
Her mother couldn’t understand that and tried to bully her or pressure her by saying that she and Liz’s dad weren’t going to fork the money for college and if grants and loans didn’t cover it, it was on Liz’s back how it got done.
Fine. She could handle whatever she had to, Liz thought firmly at the time. Now as she slept in bed, she dreamed about the girl that she used to be and argued with that person in sleep. I’m not that Liz anymore! I’m a stronger girl. A woman. A woman who isn’t going to be belittled anymore. If I choose to be a bum then I damn well will!
Liz saw Michael later that day as she walked into the Crashdown to get a burger and Saturn rings. She smiled at him, saw him asking her to come over to talk, but Maria stopped her.
“Hey Lizzie. How are you?”
Maria did work here by her mother’s orders. Well and because her mother was a single mom and she had to help out. She had to work hard to pay the bills…what her mom, Amy DeLuca didn’t pay out herself working at Align Insurance as a clerk. They’d been each other’s rocks, Liz knew, when Jim DeLuca decided to leave. He had gambling problems and couldn’t stay focused on working a full time job to help support the family. Maria had worked since she was thirteen if that said anything, Liz thought to herself, feeling for her best friend. Jim DeLuca had been gone since right after Maria’s 12th birthday. Six years ago. Maria was a tad older than Liz—she’d been held back in the second grade.
Anyway, Liz had pages of Jim DeLuca is a Jerk in her journal. They were a part of her history too because she was so close to Maria. It had hurt her badly to see Maria cry over losing her dad. Thinking about it now, seeing Maria’s tired blue eyes smiling, Liz felt bad still. She would never tell Maria she felt sorry for her. She knew it would hurt her more and Maria would yell at her for doing something she hated. Pitying her.
Smiling brightly, Liz said, “Hey. How’s it going?”
Maria looked over the place and then back at Liz saying, “It’s going. Not too bad yet. But I figure it will get worse. It’s Saturday.”
Saturdays were terrible in the café. Liz had seen it throughout the years. Summertime…add that to the day of the week when most everyone was off—you had a madhouse. Nearly every weekend, someone called in and it all went to three people. One of them being Maria.
Michael was here a lot too, Liz thought, looking over his way. What was it like for him to be a head cook? Did he like cooking? Probably not. Liz hated it, so it was real easy to think that others would too.
Looking at Maria again, Liz said, “Well I needed to get out of the house for awhile. I hoped you’d be here.” And I hoped Michael would be too, Liz thought inwardly blushing.
Maria pulled a strand of her blonde hair back from her eyes and said, “I usually am. So what is going on with you?”
Liz said, “My mom is bugging me, asking me to work here.”
Maria cringed outwardly and said, “No! Liz you don’t want to work here. Believe me. I wouldn’t work here if I could get out of it. It sucks.”
Nodding, Liz said, “I know. I told my mom…” How could she say this without sounding like a spoiled brat to a girl who had to work. Who didn’t have a choice? Liz said after a minute’s thought, “I told her that I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do.” She’d actually said No, I don’t want to work this summer. I want to take it off like most kids do my age.
Grinning at her friend, Maria said, “Uh-huh. Liz you don’t have to lie to me. I know you.”
Liz said, “I didn’t want you thinking that I was a spoiled child.”
Maria said, “I don’t. Just a little rebellious these days. But it’s cool. You are seventeen and I’m proud to see you doing what you want. Like I said I’d stay home during the summer if I could. I’d watch soaps and not think about a fryer or a frozen burger. Ever.”
Liz said, “I’d invite you over later, but my mom’s hanging around me like crazy. Truthfully I wish I had a place to go to.”
Maria said, “I wonder what’s up. Your mom was always laid back.”
Liz said exasperatedly, “I know! I wish I knew what it was. I guess…I guess it’s because I’m being myself. Maybe when she saw that I was a little off from the person she thought I was, maybe it scared her.”
Laughing, good-naturedly, Maria said, ‘Scared her? Liz. Come on. You who may as well have grown up in Mr. Rogers Neighborhood for being so innocent and sensible?”
Liz said, “My mother is a nervous kind of person, Maria, you know that. When my period started she had to tell me in detail for two solid hours how to say no to sex. She was so scared I’d have it that she had me to her doctor’s office. I’ve been on the Pill since then.”
Maria replied, “My mom didn’t. She doesn’t want to even speak of sex to me. At least your mom does.”
Agreeing, Liz said, “I guess…but Maria I’m a virgin. I’ve not even thought of having sex. Okay maybe I have, but I know how to say no. Anyway, I only said it to prove a point. My mom is neurotic.”
Maria smiled up at Max and Isabel as they walked into the café. She said, “Hey guys, over here. Come cheer up Liz.”
Max and Isabel walked over and sat at Liz’s table. They had been best friends with Liz and Maria since grade school. There was nothing they would not do for each other or tell each other.
Except that Liz was starting to like Michael. She wouldn’t tell them that because they were friends with him too.
Max said, “Something wrong, Liz?”
Liz said, “No. Not really. I’m just owly. I’ll get over it. What’s up at the Evans’s?”
Isabel smiled largely and said, “My idiot brother here is starting to listen to the Go-Gos. Liz I think we need to help him. Badly.”
Max said defensively, “What’s wrong with liking the Go-Go’s?”
Michael walked up to the table carrying a notepad and busted up laughing. He said, “When you start cranking up Cyndi Lauper I’m personally calling that talk show lady and telling her your story.”
Max rolled his eyes and said, “Yeah, sure you are.” He grinned, knowing Michael was picking on him.
Michael turned to Maria and said, “The food’s been done for five minutes.”
Maria said, “And? You can’t walk it out to the customers? What’s wrong with you?”
Michael started to tell her what was wrong with him when Maria said, “Fine…fine…I’ll take the order.” She reached for the tray on the empty table, where he’d set it, and told Liz she’d talk to her later.
Max looked at Isabel and asked, “You going out with Alex tonight?”
Smiling, Isabel said, “I don’t’ know. The last time I went out with him he pissed me off. So I’m thinking seriously about taking Kyle up on his offer to go to this Buddha movie he’s got planned instead. It’ll give me a laugh anyway.”
Liz asked, “What happened with Alex?”
Isabel’s brown eyes showed disgust as she said, “I went out with him and he spent the entire night eating his food and mine, then he talked about the different colors of vomit he threw up the night before after eating at some restaurant in Nupal. Like I needed to hear about any of that! It irritated me. But I’m not a snob, so I listened. As the date went on, he began to tell me about the Power Rangers and asked me what color ranger I thought he’d look best in if he chose to be one for Halloween. He told me to never eat beans and rice because it caused him to be sick for a week. I was disgusted and didn’t kiss him when he dropped me off…” Grinning down at her hands, she said, “I got out of his car and hurried to the front door.”
Liz said, “Maybe he was nervous.”
Michael smiled at Liz then said, “Alex is…well he’s strange. But he’s Alex. I doubt he meant to disgust you.”
Isabel said, “He probably didn’t. I just didn’t know what to say to his comments. Like I said I’m not better than him or anyone. But I just was stumped and wanted to go home. Maybe that makes me a snob.” Isabel felt uncomfortable, worrying that it did. Maybe she should keep her date.
Max said, “Is you don’t have to see Alex if you don’t want to.”
Isabel said, “I know…and I’m not sure I will…but now I feel bad, talking about it. Hearing myself say what I did. Do what I did. Maybe I will give him a second chance. Right now I’m hungry and I’m ordering some food.”
Michael looked for Maria, saw her with another family, so he opened his notepad and said, “What do you want?”
Isabel told him, as did the others. They were all ready for something to eat…despite hearing about Alex’s vomiting multi colors….
When the gang broke up and all were gone but Liz and Michael, Liz walked over to him at the kitchen. She smiled and said, “I’m sorry I couldn’t stop over here earlier. Maria stopped me when I got here.”
Shrugging, Michael said, “It’s cool.” He was cleaning up the fryer and the rest of the kitchen that Maria hadn’t done before leaving twenty minutes ago. Liz said, “Good. So what were you wanting to talk about?”
Michael looked over at Liz from the sink and said, “Us. What’s going on.”
Liz swallowed nervousness and said, “Oh…” Smiling a little, she said, “Well…okay.”
Michael walked over after rinsing and drying his hands and said, “Want to sit with me a few minutes?”
Nodding, Liz said, “Sure.”
She walked with Michael to booth and sat across from him. She stayed gone all day and knew her dad and mom were going to yell when she got home, but going home was something she dreaded these days. She’d take the shouting when she got there. Now she’d smile at Michael and be thankful to be sitting with him. Man was he hot!
Liz said, “I’ve been thinking about our kiss…wondering if it meant anything at all…” she grinned and said, “I mean people do that, they kiss…sometimes it just happens.”
Michael looked at Liz and smiled saying, “You ramble.”
Liz said, “What?” She laughed and said, “Yeah, I do sometimes. Sorry.”
Michael asked, “Why are you sorry? It’s sweet.”
Liz blushed.
Michael looked into Liz’s dark brown eyes and touching her hands with his he said, “I like you, Liz.”
Liz said, “I like you too, Michael.”
Michael moved across the table, closer to Liz’s eyes, and said, “Kissing you that day…it meant something to me Liz.” He kissed her again, then said with total intensity and fire, “Now that my dad is gone things in my life are going to change. Today, I’ve been thinking about those things, what I want to do. One of them, a huge one, Liz, is to get to know who you are. The real Liz Parker.”
Liz grinned and said honestly, “I have to tell you, Michael, I’m bitchy and I and strong willed and determined to live my life without anyone convincing me that I should live it their way.”
Michael rose his brows and said, “Good. I don’t want to go out with a girl who’s a Barbie doll. If I wanted a bendable Susie, I’d be looking for someone else. Go ahead and be bitchy because sometimes I’m bitchy and I wouldn’t want to go into something pretending. I don’t believe in that.”
Liz sat stunned, then said with admiration and a stronger interest in Michael, “Neither do I. So…?”
Michael said, “So? What?”
Letting her eyes get huge, Liz said, “What is the plan? Are we dating?”
Michael said, “What do you think?” To answer, Michael leaned forward to kiss her again.
Liz smiled as she walked inside that night. It was a smile that was shared by someone else…just not her mom and dad…
Liz dealt with the yelling and went to her room. It was going on ten at night. Climbing onto her bed she wrote in her journal all about how nice it was to sit at the café with Michael. For the first time ever, Liz Parker was going out with someone—mysteriously sexy, Michael Guerin.
TBC…
The Real Me
(Michael/Liz)
By, Angie
Rating: Teen
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Four—Headbutting Dilemma
Liz was in a mood. The date was Friday, June 25th, and instead of her staying home, reading, she was walking over to Michael’s window, preparing to knock on it. It was stemmed from a fight at home. Mom and dad on her butt again because she was dating someone.
Thinking about it again, Liz recalled what had happened a little while ago:
Liz had been in her bedroom, writing in her journal when her mother walked in and said, “Liz honey we need to talk.”
Putting her journal under her white pillow, Liz smiled and said, “Okay. What is it?”
Sitting on her bed, next to Liz, Nancy Parker said delicately, “Honey I’ve become suspicious that you are dating someone.”
Liz inwardly rolled her eyes, then chastised herself for doing it. Mom looked worried.
Liz said, “I am.”
Nancy said, “Liz…. I don’t want to see you involved…you are too young…things can happen…”
Liz smiled and touched her mom’s hand saying, “Mom, nothing is going to happen…okay? Michael and me…we’re good friends. We’re dating, but nothing is going on. It’s just…” What was it? Liz wondered.
Smiling warmer, she said, “It’s nice. But not serious. Not at all.”
Nancy stood and that was when her neuroticism stepped into the bedroom. Pacing, Nancy spilled her story about a boy named Nate that she was interested in, in school. It was a brief thing, Liz recalled, hearing it more than fifty times in her seventeen years. It didn’t’ last and he went to school spreading horrid stories about it. Nancy was mortified and still felt the bitterness from it and the fear that Liz was going to do the same things…find a jerk like Nate…be a victim.
Liz really tried to be sympathetic, but after thirty minutes of hearing her mother’s story, she said, “Mom…Mom! I am not going to do that. Okay? Michael is a nice person. He wouldn’t spread such garbage about me…even if we did make love.” Seeing her mother’s stark shock, Liz said, “We’re not sleeping together. But I’m saying if we did…Mom you have to stop worrying that I’m going to be terrorized or something. Nothing bad is going to happen to me. If it did? Mom I’d make it. I’d get through it. I’m strong.”
Nancy said defensively, “So was I! Yet I still found myself the talk of my high school.”
Liz rolled her eyes outwardly now and saw her mother’s disdain from it. Whatever, Liz thought at this point. She was sick of the lectures and the paranoia. When was she going to stop with it? When Liz was forty? Would she make Liz go to her at forty and hear the same damn things?
Nancy said, “Fine. I’ve said all I can.”
Liz thought, Finally, but tried as she said, “Mom…I’m going to be okay.”
Nancy’s eyes showed huge doubt as she said, “I hope so.” She walked out of Liz’s room.
And the more Liz thought, the more it ticked her off. Why did her mother have to put her through this? Why couldn’t Liz be Liz? What was wrong with trusting a guy? Damn it she liked Michael!
Putting on her tennis shoes, Liz rode her bike over to Michael’s…his house had to be better than this.
Knocking on his glass, Liz saw Michael’s surprise, his wonder. He opened his front door in blue jeans and a hot white tank top. His spiked brown hair looked as good as it had earlier when Liz saw him at the café, Liz thought. She smiled and said, “Michael…I had to stop over here.”
Michael said, “Come on in, Liz. What’s going on?”
Liz shook her head and said, “My mother…actually my parents…they are driving me nuts.”
Walking with Liz to the couch, Michael sat beside her and said, “Really? How?”
Liz looked up at Michael and said, “They think because I’m dating that I’m…I’m going to sleep with you. They don’t’ trust me at all. I love them both…I love my mother and I’m sorry that she had the bad things happen to her that she did…”
Michael said, “Bad things?”
Liz explained then said, “I’m really sorry about it…but that doesn’t mean I will! It exasperates me, Michael. Just because I am Nancy Parker’s daughter…that doesn’t mean I’m Nancy Parker. You know what I’m saying?”
Nodding, Michael said, “I do. Just because I was Hank Guerin’s son doesn’t make me him either. But people like to judge and they like to talk…and they sure like to say like father like son…”
Liz said in song, “Or like mother like daughter.”
Michael said, “Right. So…you sneaked over here.”
Liz said, “I had to. Michael I was so mad…I had to leave. I know they are going to be pissed off tomorrow but…” Shaking her head she said quietly, “I rode my bike over here.”
Michael said, “Well do you want to talk about them more?”
Liz said, “Not really.” She looked up at Michael and said, “What is so damned wrong with wanting to date?”
Michael said, “Nothing.” He grinned, figuring she would talk more. Knowing Liz was a rambler. Feeling for her and more than willing to listen.
Liz turned to Michael and said uneasily, “I’m not what my mom wants me to be, Michael. I’m a different person.”
Michael touched Liz’s hand on her knee and said, “What’s wrong with being different? I’m weird as hell, Liz. As anyone in Roswell.”
Liz grinned at Michael and said, “You’re not weird, Michael…just…you.”
Michael chuckled and said, “Right. So what’s wrong with it?”
Liz looked deeper into Michael’s brown eyes and said, “Nothing…” Smiling again she said, “Nothing’s wrong with it.”
Michael said, ‘Why don’t we turn on the TV and hang out for awhile?”
Liz nodded and said, “Okay…” She leaned back against the couch, beside Michael. Watching the channels on the TV change one picture to another as Michael flipped through them, Liz smiled. Here…in Michael Guerin’s trailer, Liz could be Liz. It was okay to be herself. She didn’t have to listen to her mothers obsessive paranoia or her dad’s rantings…here she could just be Liz Parker.
Getting cozy next to her boyfriend, Liz felt happiness…..TBC…