Roswell Fanatics

*I lost the banner. I'm an idiot.


Favorite Supporting Portayal of Tess Harding (round 10)

Other nominations:
Favorite Supporting Portrayal of Isabel Evans (round

Title: We Hate Men
Author: Drogyn
Rating: MATURE (though this may change later)
Category: AU and CC with tiny bits and pieces of UC here and there. No Aliens.
Disclaimer: I don't own Roswell, the characters or anything affiliated with it. I'm but a humble writer who owns nothing.
Summary: Liz, Isabel, Tess and Maria all have the worst experiences with men. Where are the good guys to teach the girls that not all guys are pigs.... oh, there they come.

Author's Note: Okay, I wanted to write something a little lighter than what I usually write. Here's the prologue. Let me know if it's something worth continuing with

Prologue

"Men! I hate men!", Isabel shouted loudly as she walked into Maria's living room. There, on the couch, sat Maria reading a book. She looked up from her book to see an angry Isabel in front of her.

"So I take it your date with mr I'm-so-goodlooking didn't go well?", Maria asked sarcastically with a smile on her face as she put the book down on the table in front of her.

"You know, the guy gives a whole new meaning to the word self-indulged", Isabel said in an angry voice as she threw herself on the couch opposite to Maria.

"Ah, so the date went well but the sex was bad", Maria said knowingly

"The guy actually moaned his own name while we were having sex...", Isabel said before she made a dramatic wave with her arms. "I think I had a fucking anti-climax!", Isabel said loudly, a hint of desperation in her voice.

"Well, he couldn't have been worse than Marcus foot-fetish Thomasson", Maria claimed, referring to Isabel's date from last week.

"No, you're right. But still, I couldn't wait to get out of there", Isabel said, finally calming down a little. "So how did your date go?", she asked Maria

"Great. We're having sex right now", Maria said sarcastically

"Oh jeez, don't tell me you screwed it up again", Isabel said in a whiney voice, "How could you possibly screw things up with that computer guy... Willy Something?"

"I just made a few computer-jokes. He said that computers couldn't think like a human yet and I said I disagreed because whenever my office computer breaks down, it blames another computer for it...", she said as Isabel couldn't withhold a soft laugh. "Yeah, that's the reaction I expected. He didn't find it funny. Instead, he gave me this longwinded speech about how great computers are. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore so I said that making a mistake is only human but you need a computer to really screw things up. After that, he dropped me off home within fifteen minutes", Maria said in a bitter voice

"Oh my god", Isabel said, barely containing her laughter, "You really are hopeless"

"Why thank you... I feel so much better now", Maria said sarcastically

Suddenly, both girls looked towards the front door as they heard it being slammed shut and saw Liz enter. "I hate men!", Liz shouted as she barged into the living room and threw herself on the couch next to Maria.

"You know, someday one of you is gonna throw herself right through my couch", Maria noted, earning her a death-glare from Liz

"Married life not treating you and Brad well?", Isabel asked

"Well, it treats Brad just fine... or rather, the maid treats him just fine... and apparently, so does the cook", Liz said with an angry expression on her face.

"What the hell happened?", Maria asked, genuinely concerned for her friend.

"Well, I came home early today and found Brad fucking the maid in my living room", Liz said, "What was I supposed to do? I was just frozen in place; I mean, clearly that asshole thinks monogamy is the material our dining room table is made of... And then I overheard him tell the maid that she was so much better at it than the cook"

"Well, at least he didn't say the maid was much better than you", Isabel tried to lighten the mood but got an angry glare from Liz in return.

"Not the time for jokes yet... okay", Isabel softly apologized herself

"So what are you gonna do?", Maria asked

"What do you think I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get rid of the fucker!", Liz shouted, but then calmed down "... and it's not like I'll miss the sex. My computer went down on me more often than he did"

"Can I keep that one in mind in case I ever see Willy the computer guy again?", Maria said with a smile

Liz gave Maria a forced smile back who turned to Isabel. "Now we can make jokes", Maria whispered to Isabel

"You should have just given the guy a testdrive before you married him", Isabel said

"I don't believe in premarital sex", Liz said

"It's not premarital if you have no intention to get married", Isabel countered, effectively shutting Liz up, "Besides, now you ended up with a guy who is lousy in bed and screws around with other women"

"And how would a, what did you call it... testdrive... tell me if he's a good guy?", Liz asked

"Awww, poor Lizzy...", Maria intervened, giving Liz a pitying look, "Good Guy is like Military Intelligence... a contradiction in terms. I hate to break it to you sweetie, but there's no such thing as a good guy.

At that point, Tess walked into the living room with a huge black eye, quietly sitting down next to Isabel

"Jezus Christ Tess", Isabel said as she saw Tess' eye. "I rest my case", she said to the others

"That's the fourth time this month Tess", Liz said, clearly hurting for her friend and forgetting her own pain for a second

"I don't wanna talk about it", Tess said softly

"So... what? You're just gonna let him use you as his personal punching bag?! Tess, you have to do something", Maria said

"But what?", Tess asked, close to crying

"Uh, buy him a baseball bat so he can inflict more damage?.... dump his ass and report him the cops!", Liz exclaimed loudly

"I hate men", Tess pouted softly.

"Join the club", Isabel said

TBC
IS IT ANY GOOD?

Wow, so many responses in just a day. I must not suck as bad at this as I thought. I'm inspired now so I'll give you the next part quickly. One question popped in my mind last night.... tell me the truth, is a guy writing a fic called We Hate Men having serious issues?

Anyway, thanks for the feedback:
Topy458
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taressa05
BlondeDramaQueen
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It really means a lot to me

Part 2:

Half an hour later, the girls have all settled themselves in Maria’s living room with drinks and much needed chocolate bars.

“We are so sad”, Maria said. “It’s ten o’clock on a friday night and we’re hanging at my place”, she continued as she brought a piece of chocolate to her mouth

“It’s for the best. All men are disgusting pigs anyway”, Liz commented

“That’s not true”, Isabel said, “Some are prowling wolves, some are clinging puppies and some are insecure insects”

“Yeah, but the disgusting pigs always ruin it for all of them”, Maria said

“You know, it may be hard to imagine… but gentlemen still exist”, Tess said softly.

“I hope you’re not talking about that fuckhead boyfriend of yours”, Isabel said bluntly, “Besides, a gentleman is just a patient wolf. He takes his time to get it just right but after that, he’s still a wolf”

“Ungh”, Maria sighed, “I just want a guy who’s kind and understanding”

“Yeah, me too”, Liz said, “Is that too much to ask for in a millionaire?”

Tess almost chokes in her drink as she hears Liz’ comment.

“Did any of you ever think we’d be so much better off without those men?”, Isabel complains, “If they can put one man on the moon, why can’t they just put them all there?”

“Oh come on, without guys, you’d be bored to tears within the month”, Liz notes

“Make that a week”, Tess corrects Liz

“Men are animals. It’s just genetical”, Maria said

“So are dogs but they don’t go out and fuck the maid”, Liz said in a sarcastic voice

“…and they don’t scream their own name when having sex”, Isabel adds

“You know, I have to wonder… is it really all men who are such big losers or do we just attract the losers?”, Maria asked

“I think it’s both”, Isabel said as she took a sip from her drink. But then an idea suddenly popped into her head. “Maybe it’s time for some payback”, Isabel mentioned as a wicked grin appeared on her face

“Oooh, I like the sound of that”, Liz said excitedly as she sat up straight, "Does it involve the removal of a certain body part?"

Everyone just pretended not to hear Liz and Liz sat back again, a little dissapointed. “Please explain yourself”, Maria said with an evil grin on her face

“Well, how about we all set out to completely humiliate those pigs”, Isabel explained

“How?”, Tess asked

“We’ll figure something out… and we’ll all help each other with it”, Isabel said, glancing around the table. “We make a pact, girls”, she continued, pleased when everyone in the room smiled and nodded in approval.

~~

Earlier that evening, Max sat alone at a table for four at one of Roswell’s fanciest restaurants when Michael approached the table.

“Michael, isn’t Courtney with you?”, Max asked

“Yeah, we broke up”, Michael said casually as he sat down opposite to Max, “Where’s Vivian?”, he asked, again very casually.

“Let’s just say that I’m a babe-magnet… just the wrong end”, Max sighed

“I hear ya buddy. Women are weird”, Michael sighed as well

“So I guess it’s just us tonight”, Max noted

“Yeah, unfortunately…. I like to look at a pretty broad a lot more than I like to look at you”, Michael said, “No offense”

“Maybe your problem has something to do with you calling girls broads”, Max calmly noted.

“Hey, I don’t have a problem Max. If a girl can’t take a little teasing, I’m better off without her”, Michael defended.

“So what’d you do anyway?”, Max asked, “She find your porn collection? I told you women are like CIA agents when it comes to searching your room for porn”

“No, I made a joke that didn’t fall very well”, Michael said, the tone of his voice indicating that he didn’t want to expand on that.

“You made the PMS joke again? Jezus Michael, haven’t you learnt anything from the previous four girlfriends who broke up with you because of it?”, Max scolded

“It’s not that insulting”, Michael said

“When you say it’s called PMS because the name Mad Cow Disease was already taken… that’s pretty much as far as you can go with the insults”, Max said seriously but he couldn’t suppress a smile.

“Anyway, what’s up with you and Viv?”, Michael said, breaking off the subject.

“She’s a whore”, Max said, a hint of frustration finally breaking through his seemingly calm exterior.

“Ah, so she was fucking Tommy! I told you, Max”, Michael said, feeling bad for his friend but also a little proud that he saw it coming

“Well, it’s probably for the best. She made so many cracks about men being stupid that I started to think she was a lesbo”, Max said

“Guessed she proved you wrong, huh?”, Michael laughed

“Yeah… ha ha”, Max said sarcastically

“Come on Max, chill out. She was just a broad; plenty more fish in the sea”, Michael tried to comfort Max

“Yeah, but I only want the really good fish… woman”, Max protested

“Come on Max, don’t be so picky; that’s a woman’s job”, Michael said

“I just like to avoid the lying, backstabbing ones who think the entire universe revolves around them”, Max complained

“There are easier things than finding a woman who meets those criteria… like nailing water to a wall or something”, Michael scoffed, “I’m not that picky… and I don’t want a woman to blame me for the fact that my blood can’t be pumped to my head and my dick at the same time”

“You want a woman who is good in the sack and who can stand to listen at your jokes… so don’t say you’re not picky Michael”, Max countered.

"So what did Viv say when you confronted her?", Michael asked, casually changing the subject again. Michael was a clearly master at that.

"Confronted?", Max asked with a wide smile

~~

At that exact time, a young redheaded girl walked up to Max' doorstep with a smile on her face. That smile faded when she saw a note stuck on the front door and a large box right in front of it. Curious, she bent over to read the note:

Dear Vivian,
I'm gonna have to cancel our dinner date, as well as the rest of the plans we had this lifetime.
Sorry I didn't call but I didn't want to disturb you while having sex with Tommy (how's his wife, by the way?)
I put all your stuff in the box below… though I can't guarantee that I didn't accidentally break some of it.
I want to thank you for saving me the trouble to have to come up with an excuse to dump you
And don't feel bad. If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off, so just deal with it.
Have a nice life and try not to screw too many married men.

Goodbye,

Maxwell Phillip Evans

~~

"You left her a note?!", Michael said loudly before Max motioned him to keep his voice down, "You fucking coward! Don't you have any balls?"

"Screw you Michael", Max said softly. "Let's just eat"

"Whatever Max….", Michael said softly, "wuss!", he caughs as he puts his hand in front of his mouth.

"Really mature Michael", Max calmly responded

"Hey, I may not be a child anymore but I'll always be immature. What's the fun in being mature anyway?", Michael said

"When I look at you, I understand why some women hate men", Max commented, earning him a death-glare from Michael.

TBC
TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF IT

Wow, I really love the feedback everyone. Keep it coming. I’ve written another part today. I’m not really sure how funny it actually is though; you’ll just have to read it to find out. As you can all see, c_which made a banner for me which I placed in the first post. Thanks a lot c_which.

taressa05 wrote:Do guys really sit around and bitch about women like that?

Well, not to their faces... but it gets a whole lot worse in this ep

begonia9508 wrote:To answer your question: No you don't have "serious issues" - you're just realistic!!!

Oh, don't say that. You know you really love me

Thanks to:
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Part 3:

The next night, Liz came down the stairs of her home and grabbed her coat as her husband sat on the couch, his eyes fixed on the TV.

"You going out again?", he asked without looking away from the TV for even a single second. "Got another lover on the side?", he joked.

Liz had to bite her lip and restrain herself from bashing his head through the damn TV. She never thought of herself as a violent person but he really brought it out in her. And now he had the nerve to say something like that to her. But she promised herself she wouldn't show him how immensely angry she was… not yet.

"Well Brad, a girl's gotta use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away", she joked. I made a joke… I deserve a fucking Oscar for this, was the thought that ran through her head.

"Okay, don't be home too late", he said, his gaze still glued to the TV

Liz didn't even answer that; another joke was waaay too much to ask for at this time. When the front door slammed shut behind Liz, Brad pulled his eyes away from the TV and glanced towards the front door to make sure she was gone. He then picked up the phone and dialled a number. A smile crept on his face as someone on the other end of the line answered.

"She's gone", he said with a smile on his face. "Don't worry, sweet cheeks….. oh please, I married my wife for her looks, but not the ones she's been giving me lately…. okay, see you in half an hour", he said before he hung up the phone. Looking through the window, Liz was fuming.

“Just you wait, you fucking slug…”, Liz cursed softly as she walked away.

~~

“Heeeey Valentiiiii”, a large group of about twenty men shouted from their barstools as Kyle Valenti sat down at the bar with them.

“Hey Kyle”, the guy next to him said, “Do you know what the difference is between a terrorist and a woman having her period?”

Kyle raised his eyebrows in surprise and then shrugged.

“You can still negotiate with a terrorist”, he answered and burst into laughing right after he said it.

“Very funny Malamud. What’s with the sexist joke?”, Kyle asked.

“His girl just dumped him so we’re having an anti-girls night”, the guy at Kyle’s other side said.

“His girl dumped him? I wonder why”, Kyle muttered sarcastically under his breath. Luckily, no one heard him.

“Hey Malamud”, the guy turned his attention to the dumped guy in question, “You know what I don’t understand about women? It’s the fact that they can pour hot wax on their legs, rip their hairs out by the root and then freak out over a little spider”

Almost the entire group burst into laughter and even Kyle couldn't suppress a smile. The guys then looked at Kyle, expecting him to say something. “Come on Kyle”, one of the guys said. “Your turn”.

“You know what I don’t understand about women?”, Kyle reluctantly said, “When girls go to the restroom, it’s to make social contacts. Women who have never seen each other before come out of the restroom chatting and laughing like they’ve been best friends for years. And never, not once, have I said something like, Hey Jake, I’m gonna take a leak. Do you wanna join me?”.

The entire group bursts into laughter again. “Women, can’t live with them…. gimme a beer!”, one of the guys shouted at the bartender, electing another round of laughs.

“You’re better off buying a handgun than getting a woman”, one of the other guys said loudly, “A handgun is just so much more practical; you can exchange an old ‘44 for two new ‘22s, a handgun doesn’t mind if you have a backup, it functions any day of the month and you can buy a silencer to go with it”.

“Now, come on guys… women are not that bad”, Kyle defended womankind, “You just have to remember that a woman rarely says what she means so you have to put everything they say through the female-filter. For instance when a girl says it’s your decision, she means what I want you to do should be obvious by now and when she says do I look fat?, what she really means isI’m feeling insecure. Please tell me I’m beautiful and most importantly, when she says you have to learn to communicate she really means just agree with me and shut up”.

“Well Kyle, you sure know a lot about women for someone who hasn’t had a girlfriend in half a decade”, someone from the other side of the bar shouted and when the crowd started laughing, Kyle couldn’t help but turn a little red.

“Dude, does the filter thing apply to all the women?”, Malamud asks Kyle with open eyes.

“Only the ones between the age of ten and eighty, and only when they talk to a guy. When they talk to each other, they say what they actually mean”, Kyle answers, barely being able to force a smile from his face. Then he gets a little more serious. “Now tell me, what happened between you and Natalie, Malamud?”, Kyle asked. “Was she unhappy with her birthday present or something?”, Kyle guessed, smiling a little.

“Well, I guess you can put it that way… in the sense that I… didn’t… get…. her a present”, Malamud softly admits.

“You forgot her birthday?”, Kyle asked, wanting to be sure he understood him correctly

“Come on Kyle”, the guy on his other side said, “Give the guy a break. Men are just no good at remembering dates. If a chick wants us to remember something, she should put it on a calendar or something”

“Tell me Jackson, are you single again?”, Kyle sarcastically asked the guy in question.

“No man, we’re still together”, Jackson said, oblivious to the underlying sarcasm in Kyle’s question. It took all of Kyle’s willpower to avoid using a sentence containing the word miracle[i/].

“It was months ago that she even mentioned when her birthday was”, Malamud said, “It’s a general rule that anything that was said longer than a week ago is inadmissible as an argument”

“Yeah, he’s right; that is the rule”, one of the other guys backs up Malamud.

“I take it she didn’t see it that way?”, Kyle retorted. Malamud did not answer.

“So Valenti”, Jackson said, “Why are you still single?””

“I should have stayed home”, Kyle said to himself; silently, of course

~~

When Liz walked into Maria’s living room, her three best friends had already gathered around the table, sitting comfortably on the same couches as before. Liz noticed that they even sat in the same place as last night.

“Come on Liz, sit down. We’ve been waiting for you”, Isabel said.

Liz quickly sat down and looked at Isabel, expecting her to say something. “We talked about forming an attack against Brad…. Well, I have a plan that we can set into action as soon as Brad decides to let his hormones lose again”, Isabel said

“Then you don’t have to wait long. He called that tramp the second I walked out the door”, Liz responded, “I just feel so stupid. It’s so obvious and I never saw it…. quickly, someone make a joke!”

“Well, it is a little funny when you think of it; you want one guy to satisfy your every need, he wants every girl to satisfy his one need”, Tess smiled as she blurted out, but a stern look from Liz silenced her. “Jeez, you said make a joke”, Tess mumbled.

“Let’s get going. Operation Pig-On-A-Stick can go into effect. Come on Liz, I’ll fill you in on the way”, Isabel said as she stood up and walked towards the front door, the others running behind her.

“Can we still call you Isabel or do we have to call you General Evans?”, Tess asked; a question that Isabel ignored completely.

~~

At the same time, Max was at home watching The Matrix Reloaded when he heard a knock on his front door. Reluctantly, he pulled himself away from the TV and walked to the front door and opened it, only to find his ex-girlfriend Vivian standing there.

“Viv… I have to say I didn’t expect to see you here. Was I not clear?”, Max said calmly.

“Look I’m sorry Max. I never meant to…”, Vivian started

“I don’t know what you want here Viv, but as far as I’m concerned, we’re through. To have my girlfriend fuck her way around town is something I can’t just go along with”, Max said loud but calm, “Now, either you came to return my front door key, you came to make sure I wouldn’t tell Tommy’s wife about the fact that her husband is fucking the town whore, or you came here to beg for forgiveness like a sad little tramp…. which one is it?”, Max asked. The sarcasm practically dripped from his sentences but his voice as calm as ever

Vivian stared at him for a second before her expression changed into an angry one. “Here”, she said as she threw a key at him which he caught with one hand. “Don’t act like you don’t care Max. You’re not that great”, Vivian couldn’t help but say. His whole attitude was so calm it really annoyed her.

“If you have something to say, say it quickly. And if you can’t be nice, try to be vague”, Max said, still calm

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry… I just want to be happy”, Vivian said

Max couldn’t help but smile. “Then I got some advice for you Viv; the key to happiness is self-delusion. Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing toward oblivion”

Vivian frowned. “You came up with that all by yourself?”, she asked

“No actually, it’s a Scott Adams quote. Now if you don’t mind, I have more important stuff to do… like watch the rest of my movie”, Max sighed as he closed the door in Vivian’s face, then burying his face in his hands and trying to get his breathing back to normal.

“God, I hate women”, Max whispered.

Yes, my fellow Roswellians. I am here with a new update. I love all the feedback. You’re all the best. This part is a bit heavier at the end but there are some things you just cannot turn into a joke. Hope you’ll like anyway.

Thanks to:
aussietrueblue
LegalAlien
taressa05
begonia9508
prettyfulpink
Maxsgurl
To_Kiss_A_Frog
imnotic
GottaFeedTheMonkey1257
poisoned_muffin
RASaero611
tabata
Emz80m

Part 4:

About an hour later, the whole girls team was assembled in the back of Isabel’s white van where the floor was littered with several audio and video equipment.

“So, is everything clear?”, Isabel asks, glancing around the van

“Yeah”, Maria said and the other girls nodded.

“Good, are we sure she’s not inside yet?”, Isabel asked

“Yeah, Brad is still hanging in front of the TV”, Liz said as she had grabbed a pair of binoculars and watched through the window. “Guess we’ll have to wait”, Liz pouted.

“Are you sure it’s not illegal what we’re about to do?”, Maria asked

“Of course not”, Liz calmly said to Maria

“Oh my god!”, Isabel squeals as she uses the binoculars to look at Brad through the window. “Is he watching Baywatch with his hand in his pants?”

“Yeah, I told him a million times to stop doing that”, Liz said

“Yeah, that’s really weird…”, Tess said, “…who the hell watches Baywatch anymore?”

“The more men I see, the more I start to like my dog”, Maria said while making a disgusted expression.

“Yeah well, guys are like horses. I like looking at them and I even like to ride one occasionally but I wouldn’t wanna own one”, Isabel added which caused the other girls to smile widely.

A small car drove into the street and the driver parked it about a hundred feet away from the house. Out of the car stepped a tall slender blonde girl who walked in the direction of Liz’ house.

“Is that her?”, Tess whispered

Liz looked at the girl for a second. “Oh yeah, that’s the bitch…. Can’t we just forget about this whole plan and let me just kill her?”, Liz asked

The girls paid no attention to Liz outburst. Each of them grabbed a video camera from the floor and when the girl used her key to unlock the door and went inside the house, the four girls stepped out of the car.

“She has a key to my house! He gave her a key to my house!”, Liz squealed

“No honey…”, Maria said carefully, “…you gave that to her when you hired her, remember?”

“Oh… right”, Liz said with a nervous smile

“Okay, enough talk. Go! Go! Go!”, Isabel commanded loudly and Tess and Maria both ran towards the side of the house, carefully avoiding being seen by anyone.

The both of them hid themselves in the bushes there. From their position, they had a perfect view of the bedroom window and when the bedroom lights went on, Tess got her cell phone out and called Liz.

“They’re up”, Tess said and immediately hung up. She then turned to Maria. “If all my phone calls went like this, I’d save a hundred bucks a month”

At the front of the house, Liz walked to the front door and opened it without making a sound. She then walked up the stairs without making a sound but stopped abruptly when she heard the two people moaning like crazy. For a few seconds, she just stood still with her eyes shut, trying to recompose herself.

When she was calmed down again, she forced a small smile on her face. “Honey, are you upstairs?”, she shouted quite loudly. She waited a few seconds before she walked into the bedroom where Brad laid in bed alone.

Feigning ignorance, she approached Brad. “You already in bed? It’s not even ten o’clock. Are you not feeling well?”, Liz said, trying to sound as nice as she could.

“Just felt a little tired. I thought you wouldn’t come home until later?”, Brad said, his shivering voice and fast breathing alone betraying him.

Liz still pretended that she didn’t have a clue what was really going on and walked around the room. “Oh, I just forgot my purse. I’ll be out of your hair in a few”, Liz said and silently thanked the god that she had her back turned to him so she didn’t have to smile.

Liz then noticed all the clothing spread across the floor. “God, look at this mess”, Liz said as she started to pick up the clothes until she saw the maid’s dress.

“Jezus… what the hell was I thinking when I bought this?”, Liz said, looking at the dress with disgust. She knew that the traitor to womankind was probably in the adjacent bathroom and could hear every word she said, so why not have a little fun?

“Honey, why don’t you let me do that for you. You go and have fun with your friends”, he tried.

“Brad, your idea of household cleaning is lifting your feet so the maid can vacuum”, Liz retorted but Brad quickly jumped out of bed, completely naked, grabbed the clothes from her hands and walked out of the room with them.

Liz figured he was probably gonna hide the maid’s clothes somewhere and Liz took this window of opportunity to quickly place a small camera on one of the top shelves. She carefully positioned it towards the bed and waited for Brad to return, which was soon.

“Okay honey, I’m gonna go now. Bye”, Liz said as she walked out of the room.

As soon as Brad heard the front door closing behind Liz, the other woman came out of the adjacent bathroom, just like Liz figured she would. “Talk about gullible”, the woman said, “I can see why you married her”

“Yeah… now where were we?”, Brad said with a wicked grin as he pulled the maid on the bed.

~~

The next morning, Liz came in through the front door as Brad had planted his ass back on the couch in front of the TV. “Where the fuck have you been?”, Brad asked

“Having a girls night….. Brad, we really need to talk”, Liz said as she sat down on the other couch.

“We need to talk, usually means I need to complain”, Brad said, his eyes not moving away from the TV

“You know Brad, could you take your eyes off the damn TV?”, Liz said forcefully

When Brad didn’t respond to her request, Liz picked up a heavy stone ashtray from the table and threw it right through the TV-screen. The next moment, the power went out in the entire house.

Brad jumped up and looked at Liz who still sat down and looked at him sternly. “Brad Thomas Jones, sit your ass down and listen!”, Liz shouted but her expression was as calm as ever.

“Have you completely lost it? Are you having a two periods at the same time or something?”, Brad said as he sat down.

“As I was saying… we need to talk….”, Liz said. Brad tried to say something but Liz beat him to it. “… and when I say we need to talk, I mean I need to talk”.

“Okay… then talk”, Brad said in an icy tone

“Well, I’ll try to be direct… I mean, why keep beating around the bush? Why not just beat the bush itself. Why not look at the bush sternly and say bad bush?....”, Liz said when Brad cut her off.

“You’re rambling again”, Brad said

Liz took a deep breath. “Brad, I’m unhappy and I wanna divorce…. There, that wasn’t so hard”, Liz said out flat

“Okay, that is direct… but what the hell?”, Brad said in a confused tone

“I was referring to all the women you fuck with behind my back. No Brad, I’m not as naïve as you think”, Liz said

Brad looked shocked for a second but quickly regained his composure. “Fine. Go”, he said flatly. “It’s not like you’re really good for anything anyway”.

“I think you misunderstood me Brad…. I am not leaving. You are. You’re gonna pack your bags and get out of my house”, Liz said in a cold voice.

Brad smiled widely. “Oh dear, I think someone forgot to read her prenuptial agreement”

“Let me guess..”, Liz said, “.. you are referring to the part where I get nothing if I break up with you? Well, there’s also a part that states that if you start screwing around, the agreement is no longer valid. In other words, if you get laid, you’re screwed”

“I sure hope you didn’t put all your hope on that little thing. There’s such a thing as proof. You know, that little annoying thing you need to have a case”, Brad smirked.

“I was so hoping you would say that”, Liz said with a wide smile as she took a few pictures from her purse and handed them to Brad. Each of the pictures clearly showed Brad and the maid having sex; no question about it. Brad looked at the pictures and looked back at Liz after that. Liz saw it in his eyes; she had him

“How did you get these?”, he asked

“Oh, they’re just outtakes of the video”, Liz said

“V… video?”, Brad stammered

“Uh huh. By the way… almost three minutes; that must be a new personal record”, Liz said sarcastically lifting both her thumbs up.

“Okay, you listen to me you goddamned leeching psychopath… if anyone ever sees any of that, you’re gonna be sorry”, Brad threatened

“I’d love to continue this battle of wits but you’re obviously unarmed here. I’m not really the vengeful type… ok, so maybe I am, but I guess we can make a deal here”, Liz said

“What kind of a deal?”, Brad asked softly

~~

A loud honk echoed though the streets as Kyle Valenti waited patiently outside his friend Jackson’s house. “Come on Jackson”, Kyle said to himself. Finally, Kyle got out of his car and walked to the front door. When he got there, he heard scream coming from upstairs. Not thinking about it for a second, Kyle bolted up the stairs.

When he heard a scream again, Kyle immediately run over to the room the noise came out of. When he opened the door, he was shocked about what he saw. There, right in front of his eyes was one of his best friends beating the living shit out of his own girlfriend who screamed in terror as he punched her yet again.

“Hey!”, Kyle shouted

Jackson turned towards Kyle instantly and the girl quickly cowered in the corner, shielding her head as she was afraid he would hurt her more.

“What the fuck are you doing Kyle?”, Jackson asked

“Jezus Christ Jackson… I’m the one who should be asking that. What the hell is going on here?”, Kyle shouted

“Kyle, this is none of your business. Just get out. You never saw this”, Jackson said, his voice slightly threatening.

“Jackson, step away from the girl”, Kyle said, his voice stern

“Kyle, it’s no big deal. Just get out of my house and we’ll talk about it later”, Jackson said cautiously.

“Screw you Jackson”, Kyle said as he walked over to the figure hiding in the corner. He knelt down to look at the girl. She removed her hands and Kyle carefully wiped her hair out of her face.

“Jezus Christ, Tess”, Kyle whispered when he saw all the cuts and bruises on Tess face and the blood that gushed out of her nose.

Kyle swallowed hard. “Jackson, when I turn around you’d better be gone!”, Kyle shouted. He was angry… no, furious. But why? Over the years, he had dealt with abusive husbands and boyfriends before but never did it involve on of his friends.

Kyle looked behind him and saw that Jackson had indeed chosen to run and Kyle returned his attention to Tess. “He’s gone now…. I’m taking you to the hospital. Can you walk?”, Kyle asked calmly. Tess nodded slightly and Kyle helped her get up and supported her as she walked towards the door. She really didn’t wanna go anywhere but she was just too tired to argue. She passed out after a four steps.

~~

About an hour later, Tess woke up at the Roswell Memorial Hospital. Confused and weakened, she looked around her only to see Kyle sitting next to her and looking right at her.

“Hey”, she said in a weak voice

“Hey…. how are you feeling?”, Kyle asked

“A little tired… and my face hurts…. but not that bad considering”, Tess answered

“How long has this been going on, Tess?”, he asked while he gave Tess a sad and apologizing look.

“For awhile… but he never went this far”, Tess said softly

“Well, I’ll make sure he won’t bother you again…. Now, I’ll go and get a doctor”, he said and with that, he walked out of the room.

“Whoever said all men were created equal was a moron”, Tess said softly

TBC

I see everyone is anxious for some Dreamer action. I really understand that, but all in good time. I'll finally introduce Alex (just a thought, why were all of you so convinced I was gonna bring in Alex and not Jesse?) in this episode and give you a little taste of M/L. It's gonna take a few days longer than usual for me to make the next part; I'm supposed to update my horror-fic on Thursday and I'm not even halfway. Anyway, thanks for all the FB, I really love your replies

Sternbetrachter wrote:Loved that Kyle saved Tess ... the knight in shining armour I guess

Now let's just hope won't turn out to be a loser in aluminum foil

SpiderGirl wrote:Drogyn do you know about cress, carpets and a whole lot of water? We should talk!

My interest is peaked. Tell me more

Thanks to:
imnotic
taressa05
touched by an alian
prettyfulpink
Sternbetracher
Maxsgurl
begonia9508
Spidergirl
BlondeDramaQueen
tabata
Emz80m
RASaero611
Aura Guerin
Behrobsession

Part 5:

Maria, Liz and Isabel were in a good mood; Liz had just informed the others about her latest conversation with Brad.

"So… how did it feel?", Maria asked

"Oh it felt sooo good", Liz said as she leaned back and closed her eyes, trying to relive the moment. "For a second there, I thought he was gonna throw himself on the floor and start begging", Liz said with a wide smile

"And it was very nice of you to think of your humble friends when you made that deal with Brad", Isabel said with a smile, "Although I have to say you could have hurt him a lot more than this"

"Now for the important question... what lessons have you learned from all of this?", Maria asked

"If I want loyalty, I get a dog", Liz said obediently, "If I want loyalty and attention, I get a smart dog"

"And?", Isabel asked

"And the only place I'll find a committed guy is in the mental hospital", Liz said

"Very good", Isabel complimented her. "It's not too late for you young grasshopper", Isabel said.

When the doorbell rang, Maria looked a little confused. Tess had a key and Maria wasn't expecting anyone. The local door-to-door salesmen learned to this house a after Maria sent her dog after a salesman who just wouldn't go away. After repeating the process with an overzealous Jehova's Witness, Maria's privacy was about secured. The funniest thing about this whole thing was that Maria's dog, a large golden retriever called Mickey, wouldn't hurt a fly, but the mere sight of the dog running towards them was enough to freak a guy out.

Maria shrugged and figured it didn't really matter as she walked to the door. When she opened it, she saw a tall, thin but definitely goodlooking guy standing in the doorway. His features were soft and his smile was warm. The second Maria saw him, she liked him.

"Hi, I'm Alex. I'm looking for Liz", he said while giving Maria a smile

Ouch, that hurt, Maria thought but smiled at the thought anyway.

"Liz? You come here because you're looking for Liz?", Maria asked, feigning a frown. All this talk with Liz about punishing a guy made her a little meaner than usual. Besides, he comes to her house and immediately asks for someone else. A girl's ego can only take so much.

"Well, she… told me to come here", Alex stammered

"Oh my god... Alex!", Liz shouted as she ran towards the door and gave Alex a long hug

"Oh my god... who is he?", Maria said in the same cheery voice

"This is Alex and he's the nicest guy in the world", Liz introduced Alex as she motioned for him to get in.

"Just so you know...", Alex told Maria. "... the nicest just means that it's easy for her to sucker me into doing something for her", he explained as he stepped inside.

When he stepped inside, his eye fell on Isabel who came towards the girls to see what all the fuss was about. When Alex saw Isabel, he couldn't think, he couldn't move... all he could do was stare. That had to be the most beautiful woman he ever saw in his life. Of course, the staring did not go unnoticed to any of the girls.

"Hmmm?", Maria said to Isabel, "He's staring at your face?".

Maria then turned to Alex, "Alex, are you gay?", she asked without any preamble

"Not all straight guys just stare at woman's breasts!", Alex said

"Yes they do", Liz, Maria and Isabel said simultaneously

"Guys also have this crazy idea that the bigger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent she is.... when we all know that it's in fact the opposite", Maria said, earning her a confused look from Alex. "...the bigger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent the guy becomes", Maria explains

"On behalf of my gender... hey!", Alex defended.

"Don't take it the wrong way...", Liz said, "... but all men think about is fucking every pretty girl in sight"

"Not... every pretty girl", Alex said cautiously. "I don't think about making love to you", Alex told Liz with a grin on his face

"Nice save", Maria mouthed to Isabel who nodded in agreement

"I'm Isabel", Isabel said as she gave Alex a quick smile

"Maria", Maria quickly added.

"Well ladies, it's nice to meet you", he said; his eyes fixated on Isabel. "So... you needed my help taking care of a cheating husband?", Alex asked seriously

"Oh my god, you hired a hitman", Maria let slip causing Liz and Alex to laugh.

"No honey..", Liz said, "..Alex is a lawyer… one of the best lawyers in town in fact", Liz said proudly as she swung her arm around him.

"Oh", Maria said, wanting to bury her head in the ground right about now

The four of them walk back to the living room and sat down on the couches. "So tell me, what happened?", Alex asked

"Well, Brad was born…. and then almost twentyfive years later, he fucked through the neighbourhood like a bunny in heat", Liz explained.

"And now you want to divorce him?", Alex asked

"Yes…. I hate men", Liz said

"Well, as good as it is to hear that…", Alex said softly. It didn't strike him until right this moment; he started to get a really uncomfortable feeling.

"Oh don't worry Alex. You're not like a guy... you're totally one of the girls", Liz said with a smile as she noticed the look Alex was giving her.

Alex shrugged off the countless responses he could give to that comment, knowing he would never win the argument here and returned the topic to Liz' soon-to-be-ex husband."So, let me get this straight… one married guy fucked several girls who knew he was married… if anything, that says more about women than it does about men", Alex said

The girls are actually silent for a few seconds, trying to come up with a witty response, when Liz' phone rang. She checked the caller Id and the display stated Tess cell. Liz immediately picked up and cheerfully spoke. "Hey Tess, where are you? We're waiting for you", Liz asked

"Sorry", Kyle said on the other end of the line, "I'm not Tess. She asked me if I could call you"

"Okay, who are you and where is Tess?", Liz said, a little unfriendlier than she meant

"Oh, I'm sorry… I'm Kyle and Tess is in the next room getting an examination for the doctor", he said

"Doctor?.... Kyle, where are you?", Liz asked, now concerned about Tess

"Roswell General Hospital", Kyle said cautiously

"What?!", Liz shouted as Maria grabbed the phone out of Liz' hands

"Is Tess okay?", Maria asked concerned

"Yes, she's gonna be fine", Kyle said

Isabel quickly snatched the phone from Maria's hands. "Stay right there. We're on our way", Isabel said as she hung up the phone and the three of them walked towards Isabel's van and drove away.

~~

About fifteen minutes later, fourteen minutes and twenty seven seconds according to Isabel, Liz, Maria and Alex arrived at Tess' room in the hospital. Liz, Maria and Alex were a little nauseous from the car drive because of Isabel's less-than-perfect driving style when she was in a hurry.

When they arrived at the room they were told Tess was in, they found Kyle sitting in a chair, reading some var magazine and Tess was nowhere to be seen. "Are you Kyle?", Liz asked

"Yeah", Kyle said

"Who are you?", Isabel asked as she, Maria and Liz approached Kyle

Before Kyle could answer, Maria interrupted him. "Did you do something to her?", Maria asked.

"Uh, is she always this uh... forcefull?", Kyle asked Alex as Maria inched closer to him. She looked like she was ready to attack him any second.

"Yes...actually they all are", Alex said with a sigh, earning him a glare from Maria, Isabel and Liz.

"There were some problems with Tess and her boyfriend. He uh...", Kyle said, not sure how to say that he saw one of his own friends beat a girl senseless, "..he was beating her up. I found her and I called 911", Kyle said, choosing to leave the part about him actually walking in on it out of the conversation.

At that moment, Tess was wheeled back into the room in a large hospital bed. When the bed stood in its place, the doctor stood in front of the bed and looked directly at her. "I'll come to check up on you tomorrow morning. Then we can see about you going home", the doctor said

When he was about to exit the room, Liz stopped him. "Dr... Max Evans", Liz said as she looked at his namecard, "Is she gonna be alright?", Liz asked in a concerned voice.

Max gave her a warm smile as he looked at her and noticed Liz' heavy breathing. "She's going to be fine", Max responded. "Are you feeling alright?", he asked Liz.

"Yeah, I just got out of the death-seat of my friend's car", Liz replied, glancing towards Isabel who gave her a very annoyed look which was not completely unexpected.

"Alright... well it was a pleasure meeting you", Max said softly, keeping his eyes on her as he stepped towards the doorway but he took one step the wrong way and hit his head against the doorpost. It wasn't anything serious, but it was enough to hurt and more than enough for him to suddenly feel very embarrassed. After a quick smile, he quickly exited the room.

Liz smiled for a second but then all three girls' eyes grew wide as they saw Tess lying there. "I'm gonna kill him", Maria said flatly

TBC

This update came sooner than I expected. Is had some problems writing my other fic so I decided to postpone that one and return to this one, which I find easier at the time. Anyway, I hope you all like this part.

Aura Guerin wrote:I can't wait for Michael and Maria to meet!

Well, you're gonna have to..... Next part, I promise

Sternbetrachter wrote:Because Jesse is the evil son of Satan and an asshole!

Not a big Jesse fan I see . Well, rest assured, I'm more of a Stargazer as well

imnotlc wrote:Well it is your little world now isn't it? BE PROUD!

Please, I'm blushing...

RosyLady wrote:I hope tess's boyfriend gets what's coming to him!

Oh don't worry... he'll be sorry; he'll be very sorry

Thanks to:
maxsgurl
prettyfulpink
Aura Guerin
Sternbetracher
touched by an alian
BehrObsession
linliz68
imnotic
begonia9508
RosyLady
taressa05
Grace52373
ShatteredDreamer
RASaero611
tequatishy
Emz80m
loviedovie

Part 6:

"Please guys… please stop staring at me like that", Tess said softly as Maria, Isabel and Liz stood around her bed and looked at her with shocked expressions on their faces.

"I'm sorry Tess…", Isabel said softly, "…but it's hard not to"

"What happened, Tess?", Liz asked worriedly

"Well, I went to Peter's house this morning and he was acting really strange…", Tess said

"You mean stranger than usual?", Maria asked, her expression making clear that she was dead serious about the question.

"Yeah… as soon as I was inside, he practically dragged me upstairs to the bedroom. I told him that I didn't want to…", Tess said and she could feel her eye watering "…and then he…", Tess tried to finish but she couldn't stop herself from crying. "I... thought he loved me. He may have been rough sometimes but..."

"Honey, no man is worth your tears..", Liz said in a comforting tone, "...and the one that is, will never make you cry"

"Please tell us you're going to report his sorry ass. He deserves nothing less than being locked up in a tiny cell with a gay, two hundred pound cellmate called Bubba", Isabel said in an icy tone

"But… Peter is a cop. Who would believe my word over his?", Tess asked softly

"I would. I saw it myself", Kyle spoke up as he stepped closer. Suddenly, Isabel, Liz and Maria all turned away from Tess and stared at him.

"You saw it?", Isabel shouted in a downright hostile tone

"Hey, don't start blaming me. I didn't have anything to do with this", Kyle said indignantly, Isabel's hostility not being lost on him.

Alex walked over to Kyle. "Don't take it personally, man", Alex said calmly, "It's like you're in the middle of the Spanish Inquisition when you're with them"

"Alright, my patience is wearing thin and I'm running out of places to hide the bodies… tell me what happened", Liz demanded to know

"Please… just stop, okay", Tess said

"Yeah, I'm just gonna….", Kyle said as he pointed at the door. "If you need anything, my number is in your cell", he said and then quickly exited the room.

"Great!", Tess said when he was gone, "You scared him away"

"Who? Us?", Maria said, not quite believing her own ears.

"No, the royal army of Switzerland…. yes, you!", Tess shouted

"Switzerland has an army?", Isabel asked herself softly causing her to chuckle

"Men are evil , Tess… trust me, you're better off without them", Liz explained

"And on that happy note… ", Alex said, "…I think I'm gonna go"

"No way…", Maria said as she grabbed hold of Alex' arm and pulled him over to Tess' bed. "Tess, this is Alex. He's a friend of Liz who will be handling her divorce"

"Yes… and if you are the supreme judge who decides if I live or die, can I just say that you look very beautiful?", Alex asked

"Hmmm… duly noted", Tess said with a smile. "You may live. Just don't piss me off", Tess joked, causing her to laugh and she grabbed her stomach in pain. "Sorry, it hurts when I laugh", Tess apologized

"Finally! A normal girl... woman... who doesn't hate men with a fiery vengeance", Alex sighed

Tess' expression immediately changed. "Are you kidding? The whole male species was designed to hurt us women. The sporadic exception here and there doesn't hide the fact that most men are all sex-driven pigs who would do anything to get what they want", Tess said with an angry look in her eyes

"You know, the four of you are doing wonders on strengthening a man's ego… really", Alex said sarcastically. Before Liz could say a word, Alex spoke again. "Say that I'm one of the girls again and we're going to have a problem", Alex added warningly

"Hate to bust your bubble Alex, but cats and women will always do and say what they want... men and dogs should just get used to that", Isabel retorted, making Alex frown

"Oh come on Alex, we're sorry", Liz said, pouted her lips and tilting her head

"How about we give Tess some rest and we'll come pick her up tomorrow morning", Maria suggested

"Uuh… she is fine with that", Tess said sarcastically, not liking to be talked about like she's not there.

~~

Almost twenty-five minutes a, Isabel, Liz, Maria and Alex finally arrived at Maria's place again. Not wanting another ride in the death-vehicle, Maria had insisted that she would drive Isabel's van back and Isabel had reluctantly turned her keys over. Then, the entire way back, Isabel had been complaining about Maria's slow driving speed.

"Come on Maria, I think I saw an old man with a cane pass us at one point", Isabel said as they all walked though the front door.

"That's not true. Just because I don't drive like a maniac…", Maria started

"I do not drive like a maniac", Isabel defended

"Come on Iz, the bumper sticker If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk actually means something with you", Maria said with a laugh before Liz cut them both off.

"I guess that's settled then", Liz interrupted them as she walked towards the living room and sat herself down, "Next time, I drive".

Maria and Isabel gave each other a look and decided to drop the argument and sat themselves down on the couch.

"Now, on to the more important issue... how are we gonna kill that sad excuse for a human being who almost killed Tess?", Liz asked

"Uh... you girls are starting to creep me out a little", Alex said from behind them.

"Oh Alex, I actually was kidding about killing him... we just want to hurt him… a lot", Liz said

"Liz, you're not being rational", Alex said

"I know… but Tess' psycho boyfriend definitely needs to pay for this, and I'm not talking about court because you and I both know that he'll be out in a few months... and that is if he's convicted at all", Liz said

Alex couldn't deny to himself that Liz was right. Even if the guy would be convinced, he'd be out relatively soon. "So what'd you have in mind?", he asked warily

~~

"Dude, what the hell happened to you? You got bitch-slapped or something?", Michael asked with a chuckle as soon as he saw Max coming his way. Max' face was one big bruise on the place where he had crashed against the doorpost earlier that day. He had explained to the people at work that he accidentally walked against a doorpost but he left out the part about that cute little brunette who caught his attention.

"Had a little run in with a doorpost", Max said casually

"You telling me you just walked into a doorpost... just like that?", Michael asked, finding it very hard to believe that Max would just walk straight into a doorpost.

"Yeah, that's what I'm saying", Max said, trying to sound casually

"Yeah, cut the crap Max. Tell me what really happened", Michael said

Max smiled at Michael's comment. He knew in advance that Michael probably wouldn't believe him. "I actually did walk into a doorpost... because I wasn't looking in front of me", Max said honestly. He really didn't know why he didn't just tell him it was about a girl; he knew Michael would keep pushing until he had every single piece of information he wanted.

"So... was the chick at least hot?", Michael asked, making the assumption that it was a girl that distracted Max.

"Oh yeah", Max sighed, not even trying to deny it, "She looked like a goddess"

"Oh Jesus Christ Maxwell, don't get all sappy on me. Your girlfriend just dumped you, you should be cursing the entire female population…", Michael said

"Okay, first of all, I dumped her...", Max begun, but Michael's expression showed that he was gonna rant again so Max decided to just shut up and sit it out.

"I don't understand why you even bother Max… they're whining, nagging and constantly bossing you around, and that's when they're not affected by Mad Cows Disease. I mean, a lot of those things can be fixed, but those chicks have the insane idea that we should adjust to them. I even tried signing a girlfriend up for an internet class called The Art Of Silence … and she didn't shut up for the entire evening", Michael said

"Okay, first of all, that class was called Silence, The Final Frontier; Where No Woman Has Gone Before", Max said, "Second of all, you also signed her up for The Undiscovered Side Of Banking; Making Deposits, Classic Clothing; Wearing Clothes You Already Own and Telephone Skills; How To Hang Up….and finally, I'd like to say that not all women are like that"

"That's bullshit Max, chicks are all the same", Michael said

"Don't be a sexist Michael. Broads hate that", Max said jokingly

"Very funny; make fun of poor Michael. Just you wait and see… that girl is bound to be either married, a total feminist or just a bitch… and not necessarily just one of those", Michael said

"I don't think she is", Max said softly. He knew he should keep his mouth shut but he just couldn't.

"Alright, when are you gonna see her again?", Michael asked

"Probably tomorrow morning…. wait a minute, you're not saying that…", Max said, suddenly realizing what Michael wanted.

"Yeah I am Maxwell… I'm coming with you tomorrow morning. I'd like to see this girl with my own eyes", Michael said. Max knew better than to say no to Michael; Michael always did what he wanted and rarely accepted no for an answer.

"Okay, fine… just promise me you won't do anything… Michael-like", Max said hesitantly

"Sorry buddy. Can't promise you that", Michael said with a smile before walking away.

TBC

EDIT: I reread this part again and I just wanted to clarify something that I may not have been clear about. The internet classes that Michael signed his girlfriend up for are actual internet classes. I didn't make the names up myself. Some other classes would be Combating the Imelda Marcos Syndrome: You Do Not Need New Shoes Everyday, An Introduction To Parking and TV Remotes: For Men Only. I hope I made this clear and sorry for the confusion.

Hi everyone. I didn’t think I’d be able to finish another part this weekend with my computer acting up and all (damn thing froze three times in one day), but I managed anyway. Also been busy creating a new signature pic, so time was a factor. Hope you enjoy, and tell me what you think of it

tequathisy wrote:I hope they the girls come up with the nastiest, most humilating, painful revenge possible for Officer Jackass.

Actually, it's Jackson like that other loony called Michael. Still, I can see where you loose the distinction

tequathisy wrote:I wonder what Michael will make of Liz. He really hasn't shown any redeeming qualitites whatsoever yet and poor Maria is going to get lumped with him, what's she ever done to deserve that? At least they can both make bad jokes all night.

Michael's not as bad as he seems, I promise. I'll elaborate on that later.

taressa05 wrote:Damn, I think the girls need to tone it down a bit or they're gonna wind up bitter old hags.

I agree, now the question is, can the guys convince them of that?

Thanks to:
begonia9508
tequatishy
Gretita
Aura Guerin
prettyfulpink
linliz68
Maxsgurl
RASaero611
Sternbetracher
taressa05
To_Kiss_A_Frog
Itzstacie
imnotic
RosyLady
loviedovie
touched by an alian

Part 7:

“Oh, thank god you’re here”, Tess shouted across the hospital room the moment Maria walked in.

“Well, someone sure is glad to see me”, Maria chuckled, “You mind if I walk in and out of the room a few times just to boost my ego?”

“I don’t think your ego needs that much boosting”, Tess said with a smirk

Maria smiled at that. “So, you ready to go?”, Maria asked

Tess sighed in disappointment. “I am so ready to go… but Dr Evans hasn’t even come to see me yet”, Tess grumbled

“You mean that weird dude who walked into the doorpost yesterday?”, Maria asked with a laugh.

“Yeah, that’s him”, Tess said, a smile suddenly forming on her face, “Was it me or was he totally staring at Liz when he did that?”

“Oh, he did. He definitely did”, Maria said. “So, do you want me to find him and drag his ass back here?”

“That won’t be necessary Maria…”, Tess said as she saw dr Evans enter the room, “Dr Hotforliz just entered”, she said with a soft laugh, immediately holding her stomach in pain.

“Damn, it still hurts when I laugh”, Tess said softly to Maria

“Good morning miss Harding, how are we feeling?”, he asked casually as he walked over to her bed. His expression saddened just a little when he saw that that cute brunette wasn’t with her, but he was fairly certain that the two women in front of him hadn’t noticed it.

“Well, I am feeling absolutely perfect”, Tess replied, deciding to say whatever was necessary to get the hell out of this place. “Can I go home now?”, Tess asked

“I don’t see why not… as long as you have someone to take care of you”, dr Evans said, immediately noticing the immediate change in Tess expression.

“Excuse me?! It’s not like I’m a fucking inv….”, Tess said, a little ticked off, but was interrupted by Maria.

“Of course dr Evans. She can stay with me”, Maria said, shooting a glare towards Tess to shut up.

Dr Evans looked closely at Tess. “I’m not kidding miss Harding. Those wounds may not be life threatening any more, but they need time to heal properly”

“Don’t worry dr Evans”, Maria said reassuringly, “The only exercise she’ll get will be lifting the TV-remote”

“Alright then. I want to see you back here in one week though”, he said.

“Thanks”, Tess said as she practically jumped out of bed intending to walk to the closet and changing into her regular clothes. As soon as she took her first step however, her legs gave in and she would have fallen if Maria hadn’t caught her just in time.

“Easy there supergirl. Walk first, fly later”, Maria said as she pulled Tess up and made her sit on the side of the bed as she handed Tess her clothes.

~~

Ten minutes later, Tess and Maria left the hospital room and started walking through the hospital halls towards the exit... or rather, Maria was walking and Tess was sitting in a wheelchair that Maria was pushing.

“Maria, can I please get out of this wheelchair. I can walk. My legs are sore, they ain’t amputated”, Tess whined but Maria didn’t slow down.

“Tess, don’t fight me on this. It’s a big hospital and you had trouble reaching the closet. You heard what the doctor said; you need to take it easy and don’t….”, Maria said

“Watch out!”, Tess squealed as Maria ran the wheelchair right into Michael who was standing in the middle of the hallway.

Maria gave Michael an annoyed glare. “Excuse you”, Maria said to Michael as she casually pushed the wheelchair past him and continued her tour towards the exit. But Michael chased her and jumped in front of the wheelchair to halt them.

“You know, this hospital ain’t no racing track”, Michael spat out.

“I know… on a racing track, there’s no idiots who jump in the middle of the road”, Maria bit back

“Do you have a problem with me or something?”, Michael asked, sensing the hostility in Maria’s voice.

“Only if you don’t get out of my way. What do you care about my walking speed anyway?”, Maria asked

“Well, I am a doctor here”, Michael said casually

“A doctor… really?”, Maria said, looking Michael up and down. “Let me guess… you’re a gynaecologist”, Maria said

“Do I look like a guy who likes to…. actually that sounds pretty good too but I’m an oncologist”, Michael said

“Well, a male gynaecologist would have been weird. Like an IT-expert who doesn’t own a computer”, Tess said, trying not to laugh because it still hurt her when she did.

“Funny. I gotta remember that one”, Michael said, actually smiling.

“So, can we go now?”, Maria asked

“I suppose asking for your phone number is not gonna be of much use?”, Michael asked

“You supposed correctly”, Maria said as Michael stepped aside and let them pass. When she had her back turned towards Michael, she allowed the smile she’d been pushing back to fill her face.

“At least tell me your name. I’m Michael!”, Michael shouted after them

When Maria didn’t answer, Tess decided to take matters in her own hand. “She’s Maria!”, Tess shouted before the both of them walked through the main exit and out of Michael’s view.

“Maria”, Michael said softly to himself, just watching the exit until Max walked up from behind him and gave him a friendly push on the shoulder as he stood himself next to him.

“I can see what you meant Maxwell”, Michael said softly

“That’s a different girl Michael”, Max responded

“Good. So you wouldn’t mind if I asked her out?”, Michael asked as they walked back towards the elevators

Max couldn’t suppress a laugh. “No, but I saw what just happened… didn’t she just completely brush you off?”, Max asked

“A minor detail”, Michael said, sounding sure of himself

“What happened to the whole women are evil deal?”, Max asked

“Oh, that’s all still true”, Michael said

“She is out of your league, man. I’ve heard those girls talk and they’re just scary”, Max said with a smile as they reached the elevators and they stepped in the one that was waiting for them.

“Listen Maxwell, just because you are too chicken shit to go after the girl you were talking about…”, Michael said

“Whoa… cease fire, general Guerin”, Max said

“I’m just saying”, Michael said as the elevator doors closed.

~~

Twenty-five minutes later, Tess and Maria got out of the car at Liz’ place. “You know Maria, has anybody ever told you that you drive like my grandma?”, Tess asked

Maria thought for a few seconds. “Nope, you’re the first”, Maria answered.

Walking slowly, Tess managed to reach the front door without falling. Maria already had the door open and the two of them slowly walked inside. When they were finally inside, Tess sat down on the couch in the living room. After a few seconds, Liz entered the room, followed by Alex.

“Hey Tess, glad to see you running around again?”, Liz said cheerfully

Tess just grumbled at her, causing Maria to smile. “Tessie is a bit grumpy. Doctor ordered her to stay on her tushy”, Maria said, ignoring the death-glares Tess shot at her.

“Aw Tess”, Liz said in a comforting tone, “I have something that’s gonna cheer you up… Brad!!”, Liz shouted.

Within ten seconds Brad came walking into the living room. He was wearing a pink apron over his clothes and he was wearing pink rubber gloves. Tess looked at Brad who, at this point, was embarrassed to the bone. A small smile appeared on Tess’ face, which quickly turned to a big smile… after that, her eyes started watering and it took all of her willpower not to burst into laughter.

“Well Brad… you look uh… nice”, Tess said

“Okay, I’ve been humiliated enough for one day”, Brad said before quickly exiting the room.

Liz quickly turned to Tess. “That’s what he thinks. Isabel hasn’t seen him yet”, Liz chuckled.

“So what kind of deal did you make with Brad? You’re trying to force him gay or something?”, Tess asked

“I just figured half of what we own should be mine. And as a punishment, he’s gonna clean this entire place inside out wearing that… and Isabel’s place, and Maria’s place and your place”, Liz said.

“Wow… you’re really not going easy on him, are you?”, Tess said

“Not going easy on him?”, Maria queried, “It’s like she’s auditioning for the female version of Gandhi. She should have just taken everything he owned and made him live in a box on the street or something”, Maria said

“No, I couldn’t do that. That would make me worse than him. Besides, for some reason, after what just happened to Tess, I’m not as furious with him as I was before”, Liz said

“I can understand that”, Maria agreed softly

“Well, the divorce shouldn’t take long”, Alex interrupted, “I made a few phone calls and you and Brad are to appear before judge Evans in two days”

~~

Back in the hospital, Max is in the middle of his rounds as he walks into the room that Tess was in before. When he walked in, he saw a man standing in the center of the room, looking around the now empty room.

“Sorry sir… can I help you?”, Max asked

The guy turned around to face Max. “I’m looking for Tess Harding. Front desk said she was in this room”, he said

“She was released earlier today”, Max said casually

“Where did she go to?”, the guy asked.

“Sorry sir, but that I can’t give you that information”, Max said

The guy thought for a second and then got a police badge out of his pocket. “Detective Jackson… I need to know where Tess Harding was brought”, he said.

Max looked at the guy for a second. “Of course officer”, he said.

~~

Five minutes later, detective Jackson was gone and Max grabbed his cell phone and dialled a number from a piece of paper he had in his pocket. “Lieutenant Valenti, it’s doctor Max Evans… detective Jackson came looking for miss Harding just like you said…. I gave him the address you told me to give him”

TBC

Hello gentle readers. I know most of you are dying for a solid dose of dreamer goodness but you'll just have to be patient; it will eventually get there. Now that I think about it, the guys all have surprisingly good jobs for people in their early twenties. Guess the girls will have to counter that. One of my friends told me a lawyer joke that I decided to use here. I'm not deluding myself that he actually made it up myself, so to be clear, I'm just using the joke, I do not own it. Well, that was everything I had to say. Have fun reading.

Liz86000 wrote:P.S: Since you're a guy, I think that for you to write a fic who sometimes made fun of men (or show them how they really are, your choice!) shows you've got a great sence of humour!! Good boy, lol!

Lol thanks... but I honestly don't know who I'm making more fun of here; the guys or the girls

Liz86000 wrote:P.P.S: Just a thing, & excuse me for asking, but did Tess' ex-boyfriend from hell did more to her than hit her, I mean, did he abused her too?? Cause she said he took her in the bedroom & then nothing.. Either way, he should totally be in jail after this.

When Kyle found Jackson and Tess, Tess was still fully clothed so nothing of that sort happened then.

tequathisy wrote:By the way, my house needs a good cleaning any chance you could send Brad my way?

As soon as he's done with everything Liz orders him to do, I'll send him your way (can't guarantee he won't go AWOL though)

Thanks to:
Maxsgurl
Sternbetracher
linliz68
imnotic
Liz68000
touched by an alian
Smac
taressa05
RASaero611
loviedovie
begonia9508
Emz80m
tequatishy
Aura Guerin
BehrObsession

Part 8:

At one o'clock in the afternoon, Isabel felt like she was going to kill someone any second. As department manager of the largest bank in Roswell, Isabel was in charge of exactly fifty-three employees; fifty-one of them being men. This never bothered her that much since every single one of them knew better than to mess with Queen-I, as she was nicknamed at the department. Isabel was fairly certain it was short for Ice queen but couldn't really care.

Today however, she wasn't dealing with her royal subjects; she had to deal with the other department heads and the board of directors in the annual meeting, which was hosted in Roswell this year. It wasn't that there was any trouble with her department; in fact, the board was very impressed with Isabel's performance in Roswell… it had more to do with the fact that of the twenty-six people in the room, Isabel was the only female and the men were talking about women a lot more than about business.

"So then I said bloody hell woman, sometimes I'm actually thinking about something other than you. Deal with it!", one of the male executives said to one of his colleagues next to him.

"Yeah right, like you'd have the guts to say that to Janice", his colleague laughed, "She'd totally kick your ass"

"Well, I could have said it", the guy said with a shrug

"Hey Isabel, you're a woman, right?", one of them asked in a loud voice

"Do you want me to deck you right now or would you care to rephrase that?", Isabel said in a stern voice as she gave the guy an icy gaze.

The man in question was obviously startled by Isabel's attitude and quickly decided to rephrase his question. "What I meant was, since you are a woman, maybe you could give us some insight", the guy said

"Well, it sounds to me like you guys are beyond any help I can offer… but I suppose it couldn't hurt. What do you wanna know?", Isabel asked

"What the hell is a woman thinking when she asks do I look fat?", one of the other guys asked.

"Are you actually asking that question? If you didn't immediately say that she looked great, you're an idiot", Isabel said

"I guess she figured you out, Will", one of the other guys said as the guys all laughed

"Is a headache that lasts for three months normal?", one of the others asked

"Well, I suppose I can understand where the headache is coming from…", Isabel said with a smile, causing the guys to cheer. "Now let me ask you guys a question… you're at work and you're sitting at a table with a woman, do you… (a), have some respect for her and act professional… or (b), make sexist jokes and make her want to slap you in the face?", Isabel asked, patiently waiting a few seconds before her words sunk in and everyone understood what she was saying. Then, silence filled the room.

"I'm so glad that you're all being so understanding", Isabel said, pleased at the effect her little outburst had.

It took almost a half a minute before the man at the head of the table, who kept his mouth shut until now, broke the smile on his face. "Well, I suppose this was all that we needed to discuss", he said as he stood up, indicating the meeting was over. Isabel picked up her papers and exited the conference room, leaving the rest of the men behind who would undoubtedly trash-talk about her approximately ten seconds after she left the room. She couldn't really care.

She was more than surprised however when she saw Alex, sitting on a chair just outside her office and chatting happily with Laurie, her personal secretary.

"Alex!", Isabel shouted in surprise, causing Alex and Laurie to turn their heads towards her, before lowering her voice to a normal volume. "What are you doing here?", she asked Alex

"I was going to ask if you wanted to have lunch with me", Alex said, trying to make it sound as casual as possible

"I don't think that's such a good idea Alex", Isabel said

"Why not? You need to eat, I need to eat... we might as well eat together", Alex said

Isabel took a long pause to ponder the situation. "Well..... alright", Isabel said cautiously

~~

"Alright, Maria and I are gonna get some groceries. You stay on the couch, okay?", Liz said to Tess. By now, she learned that Tess absolutely loathed being being talked to like she was weak but Liz cared more about Tess safety at the moment.

"Fine", Tess just said, casually lying on the couch as she zapped through the channels on the TV.

"Alright Tess, we're gonna head out. You stay on the couch", Maria said as she walked into the room.

"Yes grandma", Tess said sarcastically

"Good girl", Maria said with a smile

Liz and Maria then walked away and seconds later, Tess heard the door close behind them. Tess lifted up the remote and changed the TV-channel. It showed the Jerry Springer show. "My wife is having an affair with my mistress", Tess read aloud. Boring, she figured and changed the channel again. Another talkshow; Oprah. "Men are from Mars", Tess read aloud again. "Yeah right! Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it",Tess commented at the TV.

Tess changed the channel a few more times until she finally settled on an action movie full of fighting, car chases and explosives. She didn't really wanna watch it but she figured this was as good as it was gonna get.

"Boy… now I'm living the big life", Tess said sarcastically

~~

"So what's the stupidest thing you saw here at work?", Alex asked Isabel, eager to know everything he could about Isabel.

"Well, I suppose Jake's situation was funny. I mean, we work at a bank and he gets caught stealing pens", Isabel with a confused look on her face, "So, I suppose you get your fair share of anti lawyer sentiments?"

"Yes, all the jokes about lawyers... I'm sure I've heard them all", Alex stated

"Tell me the funniest one you've heard", Isabel said

"Okay… a young lawyer gets married to a girl who has been married five times before. On the first night of their honeymoon, the girl says Please be gentle. I'm still a virgin. So the guy says, Come on, you've been married five times. Surely you must have had some sex. The girl looked at the guy and said Well, my first husband was a sales representative and all he did was tell me in grandiose terms how great it was going to be. My second husband was from the marketing department. He knew he had the product but he wasn't sure how to position it. My third husband was from the financial department. He knew how to do it, but he just wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. My fourth husband was a psychologist and all he did was talk about it. My fifth husband was a stamp collector and all he did was… god I miss him. Anyway, now I married you and I'm really excited. The guy gave her a confused look. Why is that?, he asked. Well, that should be obvious. You're a lawyer, so tonight I'll finally get screwed"

Isabel was never one to laugh at most jokes but this one had her eyes watering in no time. She regained her composure quickly though. "Funny", she said with a smile.

"So I heard the people at work call you Queen-I", Alex said with a smile

"Well, it's the closest I'll ever come to being royalty", Isabel jokes

"I wonder if I can get the guys from my office to call me King-A", Alex pondered

"I highly doubt it.....", Isabel said, "So is Tess out of the hospital?"

"Yeah and she's staying at Liz'… is there a problem?", Alex asked, noticing the worried look on Isabel's face

"It's nothing really.... okay, stop it", Isabel said as Alex gave her a stern gaze. "I'm just worried that this boyfriend who tried to hurt her will try something again. Besides, I think Tess is hurt a lot more than she lets on", Isabel said, the worried expression still firmly planted on her face.

"I think it'll be okay. She looked fine to me when I left", Isabel said

~~

Isabel had a point indeed for at that very time, Tess lied on the floor in the hallway, in pain and unable to get up. She could shout but what would be the use? Liz and Maria were both gone and she definitely wouldn't be able to shout loud enough to alert the neighbours.

"What the hell happened to you?", a voice suddenly sounded from across the hallway

Tess looked back and saw Brad in his pinkish attire, holding a wonder mop. "Oh, great!", Tess said, despite the pain, "If you came to gloat, now's your chance", she said bitterly.

Unsure of what to do now, Brad didn't move for a few seconds. "You fell?", Brad muttered

Tess gave him a what-kind-of-idiot-are-you look. "No, I thought the couch was too soft so I tried the hallway floor instead", she said sarcastic

"You don't have to bite my head off, okay", Brad sneered back before he cooled down a little. "I'm calling the hospital", he continued and walked towards one of the house phones.

"No! I'll be fine", Tess said

"Tell me your doctor's name", Brad said forcefully, clearly not taking no for an answer

"I told you I don't want you to call anyone. Just go back upstairs and play fuck the maid / be the maid", Tess sneered.

"Give me your doctor's name, you crazy woman!", Brad shouted but all he got was an unmoving stare in return.

"Fine", Brad said as he grabbed Liz' cell phone from the coffee table and dialled a number.

~~

The sound of her phone made Maria jump up a little. She wasn't used to being called on her cell phone and every time she was called, it startled her. Looking at the display, she saw the words Liz' cell. "Hey Liz, it's you", she said to Liz who was walking right next to her before picking it up.

"Hello!", Maria said cheerfully.

"It's Brad", Brad said on the other side

"What do you want?", Maria asked in a semi-hostile tone

"Blondie bear decided to have a nap on the hallway floor", he said sarcastically

"Screw you!", Maria heard Tess say in the background

"What? Tess?! Well why the fuck haven't you called the hospital, you pathetic d.....", Maria asked before she was cut off

"Hey, don't blame it on me.... little Britney here didn't wanna give me her doctor's name", Brad said

Maria half-expected a sarcastic remark from Tess on the background but she heard none. "Never mind, I'll call him myself", she said before rudely disconnecting the call and starting a new call to call the hospital.

"What's wrong with Tess?", Liz asked worriedly

~~

With a loud screeching sound, the car came to a halt on Liz' driveway and both Maria and Liz jumped out. They quickly ran towards the front door which they saw was already open. When they ran inside, they saw Max and Michael checking Tess' wounds as they hovered over an unconscious Tess. They didn't notice Maria and Liz coming in who watched from a distance, fearing for their friend's life.

"Here it is… ", Michael said as he touched the bottom of Tess' ribcage, "It's broken. How the hell did you miss this, Maxwell?"

"I didn't miss it. She probably fell here and broke it", Max said back, gentle pushing Michael's hands aside so he could feel it. "Yeah, you're right. Well, at least it's nothing life-threatening", he sighed in relief. The girls behind them visibly relaxed at that.

"You know, I hoped to meet this Maria-person again but this was not what I had in mind", Michael sighed, causing Maria to widen her eyes in surprise.

"Yeah, I believe I know what you mean, Michael. I don't even know her name", Max sighed

"Whose name?", Maria asked loudly, causing both guys to jump to their feet.

"How's Tess?", Liz asked, ignoring Maria's question, "She's gonna be alright… right?"

Max breathed in deeply before looking at Liz. "She's going to be fine", he said reassuringly

"Guess that answers my question too", Maria said softly before raising her voice, "How did you two get here before the ambulance arrived?"

"We were having lunch in my favorite Restaurant; DeLuca's. It's just a few blocks away", Michael said

"Hey, that's Mar….", Liz said before she felt a sharp pain in her side caused by Maria's elbow, "Ow!"

"Where the fuck is the damn ambulance?!", Maria shouted

TBC

Alright everyone, I finished another part. I’m actually having more trouble with the writing so I’ve decided to take a small break from it for a few days to come up with some fresh ideas. Okay, have fun reading and tell me what you think. I also have a question for all of you: since this fic is all about guys and girls, it’s very well possible that things might get a little physical (and I mean that in a total sexual way)… would you like me to change the rating to adult and add those scenes or just make a short reference to it?

Maxsgurl wrote:HA HA HA!! I loved that lawyer joke...your friend is funny!!

Well, it's a good thing he doesn't read this fic or I'd never hear the end of it.

Thanks to:
tequathisy
Maxsgurl
imnotlc
Aura Guerin
Emz80m
Liz86000
prettyfulpink
taressa05
touched by an alian
BehrObsession
loviedovie
linliz68
begonia9508
tabata

Part 9:

"Well, I didn't think I would but I actually had fun", Isabel said to Alex as they were walking through the crowded streets and had almost reached the bank where Isabel worked.

"Well, call me psychic or whatever... but it didn't exactly come as that much of a surprise for me", Alex said, flashing Isabel a confident smile.

"Now don't get too cocky mister", Isabel said with a smile

"Wouldn't dream of it...... so, I was wondering if maybe I could... take you out tonight?", Alex asked.

Isabel stared at the floor as she shook her head. "Alex, why do you have to ruin this?", she asked, "We were just two friends having lunch"

"We definitely were.... but it could become so much more. You're the most beautiful....", Alex said but Isabel didn't let him finish.

"My answer is no, Alex.... and that's final", Isabel said. “I’m sorry”, she softly muttered before hurrying into the building leaving Alex outside.

When she reached her office, she stopped in her tracks in front of Laurie’s desk and turned towards her. “Remind me Laurie…. why can’t a guy be good-looking, funny and intelligent?”, she asked with an uneasy look

“Because that would make him a woman”, Laurie said with a smile

“Right….right…”, Isabel muttered as she disappeared into her office

~~

"How the hell could we miss it?", Liz asked herself aloud as she and Maria sat in the hospital waiting room. "I mean, she could barely walk and she was hurting every time she tried to laugh", Liz said

"It's not your fault, or mine. Tess can be very convincing. She said everything was fine and we believed her", Maria said

Liz jumped up as she saw Michael walking their way. He was dressed in a light-blue doctor's uniform and as he approached Liz and Maria, he threw his hairnet into one of the trash bins. "Is she okay?", Liz asked

"She's gonna be okay, but she'll need rest; a lot of it. Personally, I'd recommend that she be strapped to a hospital bed… but that’s not really my call", Michael said.

"So you're sure she's gonna be okay? I mean, you're completely, one hundred percent sure?", Maria asked, not content with his previous statement.

"Well, nothing is certain… ", he said but stopped when he saw Maria's look of shock, "…she'll be fine, I promise". What the hell am I saying, Michael wondered, You never make promises; they always bite you in the ass.

“So can we see her?”, Liz asked

“Sorry… not just yet. Dr Evans is performing some more tests on her to make sure there are no more hidden injuries. He should be done in an hour or so”, Michael said in a friendly tone

“Yeah, he wouldn’t wanna make another screw-up, now would he”, Maria spat out.

“Hey, Max told me that you told her you would take care of her and yet you leave her alone”, Michael spat back, “Don’t start blaming Max just because you screwed up”. Michael was amazed by himself, and not in a good way. He never talked this way, especially when he was on duty.

Maria looked at Michael with a trembling lip and hurried away, leaving behind Michael who had a look of regret on his face and Liz who looked sad and angry at the same time.

“What the hell is wrong with you, you fucking dick?!”, Liz hissed at Michael.

“Sorry… I was just trying to say that it ain’t Max’ fault that she fell”, Michael said softly

“So you thought, hey, let’s tell Maria that it’s her fault… are you deficient or anything?”, Liz asked, “You men are all the same. You just pass the blame on someone else when it’s perfectly clear that Evans just shouldn’t have released her”

“Look, I’m sorry okay. You don’t have to bite my head off”, Michael said, sitting down next to Liz and sighing deeply while covering his face with his hands.

~~

The sound of breaking glass echoed loudly through the kitchen as Peter Jackson smashed the window in the kitchen door. He then reached through it, cursing softly when a piece of glass cut into his arm, and flipped the lock on the kitchen door. He quickly pulled his arm back, cutting his arm again, opened the kitchen door and quickly stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

As he walked into the main hallway, he looked carefully around him for any sign of trouble as he began scouring the house for what he was looking for.

Finally, after having searched almost the entire house, he finally found a large bedroom on the first floor. It looked like someone was sleeping in it. Reaching inside his coat, he grabbed a large knife and took it out of its confines, letting the sunlight that poured from one of the windows reflect the light from it.

Suddenly, as he had taken two steps towards the bed, he heard a squeaking sound behind him. Turning around in one fast motion, he saw Kyle standing in the doorway.

“Hello Jackson…”, Kyle said with an angry voice.

“Kyle! What the fuck are you doing here?”, he said, trying to hide the knife behind his back.

“I live here. The real question is… what are you doing here?”, Kyle said

“Well”, Jackson said as he took two slow steps in Kyle’s direction, “I just wanted to talk to Tess”

“Ah…”, Kyle said softly. “You always talk with your knife?”, he added.

Jackson held the knife in front of him and gave Kyle a dangerous look. He took one step in Kyle’s direction but then froze in place when he saw what Kyle was holding in his right hand.

“Jackson, I’m gonna make it really simple for you… either you drop the knife and get down on the floor… or I’m going to empty this gun on your deformed head”, Kyle said with a dead-serious expression.

“You’re not man enough to do something like that. You’re a wuss, Valenti. God, it’s so clear that you have the hots for my little tramp and yet all you do is think about why you’re not with her… you needed your daddy to get you on the force… and my grandma could kick your ass. So fuck you Valenti”, Jackson spat out.

“I’m gonna count to three. If you haven’t dropped the knife then, I will shoot you. And to tell you the truth, I sorta hope you don’t drop it”, Kyle threatened.

“One!”, Kyle shouted

Jackson smiled confidently as he slowly stepped towards Kyle. “You’re just gonna have to shoot me, you little wuss”, he laughed.

“Two”, Kyle said

“Give it up Valenti. You’re not fooling anyone”, Jackson said

“Three”, Kyle said softly.

…

~~

“Hey”, Tess said softly as Liz and Maria entered the hospital room again.

“Hey”, both girls replied as they stood besides the bed.

“The doctor tols us you were gonna be fine…. So I just gotta ask, what the hell were you thinking?!”, Maria said loudly, “You promised us you wouldn’t get up. You promised!”

“I’m sorry”, Tess said softly, “I just had to go to the bathroom; I didn’t think you’d like it if I peed all over your couch”, Tess explained.

“Brad could’ve cleaned it”, Liz said, trying to relieve some of the tension

“Are you mad at me?”, Tess softly asked, looking at Maria

“No, of course not sweetie”, Maria said

“She’s mad at me”, Michael’s voice sounded from the doorway. Maria looked at him and her eyes narrowed. Liz looked at him and silently wondered where he got the guts to subject himself to Hurricane DeLuca a second time today.

“What are you doing here, dr Dork”, Maria spat out

“Can I talk to you for a second?”, he asked calmly, looking at Maria

Maria looked at him for a few seconds and, much to Liz’ and Tess’ surprise, she relented and walked out of the room with him.

The both of them walked into one of the adjacent rooms that were currently unoccupied. “Okay, I’m here…”, Maria said, “…now, what do you want?”

“Look, I’m sorry about what I said. What happened is no one’s fault and certainly not yours”, Michael said. Seeing Maria give him a small smile, he sighed and decided there’s no better time than the present. “To tell you the truth, I’m actually happy to run into you again. Ever since yesterday, I can’t stop thinking about you”

“Huh? What?”, Maria asked in confusion

“Don’t play stupid Maria… I’m better at it than you“, Michael joked, which seemed to snap Maria out of it.

“So let me get this straight… you’re coming onto me right after one of my best friends almost died and you expect me to… what?”, Maria asked

“I expect nothing. But I want to get to know you”, Michael answered

“Look, I’m sure you’re nice and everything but I’m not really looking for a guy. You’re all just rude and insensitive and all you can think about is sex”, Maria said

“Have you ever thought about seeing a shrink?”, Michael asked

“What? You’re saying you’re any different?”, Maria asked with raised eyebrows

“Sure I am. I may be rude and insensitive but I think about other things than sex. Like having dinner with the most beautiful girl in the room”, he said, trying to lock his eyes with hers but failing as she looked away

“Wow…. hey, I’m the only girl in the room!”, Maria hollered causing Michael to smile. Maria smiled too.

“Yeah, but you’re the most beautiful girl in almost every room you step into. Come on, how much does a guy need to humiliate himself before you finally agree to have dinner with him?”, Michael asked but he didn’t wait for a reply. “I’m just talking about dinner. We can talk; get to know each other. Nothing more”, he added

“Well, I suppose that couldn’t hurt. Alright, fine… meet me at DeLuca’s at seven”, Maria sighed as she left the room, her expression turning into a grin the second she was out of the room.

TBC

NOTE TO ALL DREAMERS:
I have not forgotten about you. Max/Liz interaction is assured in the next part

Hello gentle readers, since almost everyone wants me to add the adult scenes to the story, I decided I will do so. Don't expect the story to be one large chain of adult scenes though. I know the dreamers among you will expect more from this episode, but I want the M/L relation to be built slowly. For this part, I used one line from the Pilot episode. The small poem in this part was actually written by me. Have fun reading and don't forget to let me know what you think

taressa05 wrote:I'm sorry, but this has to come out...the girls in this fic are pissing me off. They are so rude and hateful to men that they don't even know, and wtf? with Isabel turning Alex down. So I guess she's gonna become a damn nun now because of a few bad experiences. I just want to slap some sense into all of them and tell them to quite being these unbelievably harsh bitches. It's ok for them to be that way to Brad and Jackson because they deserve it, but everyone else...no. Oh, and another thing, is it supposed to be ok for Maria to be rude to Michael and say horrible things about Max, but not ok for him to say something back? Like I said, those women are infuriating. Sorry for the rant, but it feels better to have that out, even though I guess since I'm female I'm supposed to side with the girls.

Nothing wrong with that. The girls are behaving like bitches when it comes to men. But don't worry, the Knights Of The Shining Armor will gradually fix this problem.

Maxsgurl wrote:And if there is no M/L in the next chapter I will personally find you where you are and force you to write it darn it!! I'm dying here....Does Max even know Liz's name yet?

I hope this is enough to keep you alive until the next episode. And no, Max doesn't know Liz' name

ShatteredDreamer wrote:Can't wait! Maybe Max should be sitting down when they see each other. Don't want him walking into anymore doorposts!

Lol, yeah maybe he should

Liz86000 wrote:That was GREAT!!! I REALLY hope Liz won't think bad of Max because of the Tess thing, cause really, if it was anyone's fault, it's Tess (even if when Nature calls..., but still)

No, she doesn't blame Max. She was just a little upset that Michael was more or less blaming them for leaving that she just said the first thing that came to mind.

Thanks to:
ABuller
taressa05
Maxsgurl
RASaero611
imnotlc
Eccentric One
begonia9508
ShatteredDreamer
Emz80m
Liz86000
Sternbetrachter
tequathisy
loviedovie
To_Kiss_A_Frog
Gretita
Aura Guerin
linliz68

Part 10:

“Hello girlfriends… anything happen in here while I was gone?”, Maria asked as she stepped back into Tess’ hospital room, her voice a little too cheerful to be ignored by Liz and Tess. As Liz and Tess exchange a look, Maria sat down next to the bed again.

“So… spill!”, Liz said

“Well, he uh… he asked me out”, Maria admitted

“Well, that much I actually got… but what did you say?”, Liz asked

“Well… I… told him that it was really inappropriate to be asking me out right after Tess was brought here”, Maria said

“Well, you certainly told him!”, Liz said, a small smile appearing on her face. For some reason, she knew exactly what was going on.

“And then he just went on and on…”, Maria said uncomfortably

“You said yes, didn’t you?”, Liz said, the small smile widening a little.

“Well… he seems pretty nice, he’s a doctor, and I’m sure he’s quite handsome under that ridiculous haircut and those hideous clothes”, Maria said in defense

“What? Those clothes weren’t that bad”, Liz defended

“Oh pul-lease, it’s like Stevie Wonder picked them out for him”, Maria judged, "But that's okay, I like a challenge. So how about you?"

"What about me?", Liz asked, confused

"Oh, come on! Don't tell me you didn't notice the looks that cute Evans doctor-guy gave you", Maria said, genuinely surprised that Liz seemed to have failed to pick up on it.

"Maria, that is so in your imagination", Liz defended

“Oh, it's not just me who noticed….Tess, tell her that…”, Liz said as she turned towards Tess. She then saw that Tess had fallen asleep. Liz nodded towards the exit and the two of them quickly exited the room, leaving Tess to get the rest she desperately needed.

When they were outside the room, Maria couldn't hold it back anymore. "Are we that boring?", Maria asked Liz

"Probably… ", Liz said with a smile and then turned serious again, "You know, I'm wondering what's keeping Iz"

"I dunno, what'd she say when you called her?", Maria asked

"What do you mean, when I called her?", Liz asked

Maria and Liz exchanged another look. "She's gonna kill us", they both said in unison

~~

A loud buzzing interrupted the silence in Isabel's office. She had entered the idea-gathering phase awhile ago; a phase where absolute silence was not optional but a bare neccesity. This was the point where Isabel would get the most brilliant ideas. Needless to say, the loud buzzing was not welcomed.

"Laurie, I said no interruptions", Isabel said loudly through the intercom.

"Sorry, but you will definitely want to see this", Laurie said

Not knowing what could possibly be so important, Isabel stood up and exited her office. The second she saw what Laurie meant, she froze in her tracks and her eyes grew wide. A large muscular man held an enormous bouquet of roses in his hands. He looked at Isabel questioningly. "Are you Isabel James?", he asked.

Isabel was speechless so she just nodded. The man gave her the bouquet and smiled at her. "Have a nice day miss... miss", he said, nodding to both girls before exiting the office.

"Wow!", Laurie said. "I think someone just bought the Netherlands", she added, eyeing the large bouquet that Laurie estimated had at least a hundred roses in it.

Your beauty does not lie in the clothes that you wear,
how stunning your figure is, or the way you comb your hair.

Your beauty I can see when I look into your eyes,
Because the eyes are the doors to the heart; the place where love resides

And if love from the heart can fill you whole
Infinite beauty is reflected from your soul

Alex

"Oh... god! That is so romantic", Laurie commented as she slumped back in her chair. "Why don't I ever get things like that?"

"Because you don't have a boyfriend", Isabel said with a smile

"Neither do you!", Laurie shouted a bit louder than she meant before lowering her voice. "So what are you gonna do?", Laurie asked.

"Yes... what are you gonna do?", a voice said from the other side of the room. Isabel didn't have to look in the direction of the voice to know who it was.

"Hello Alex", Isabel said softly

"Come on Iz, have dinner with me tonight?", Alex asked

"Well... I'll have to think about this", Isabel said in a serious tone. When Alex lowered his gaze, she quickly continued. "You know, I thought about it and I'd love to have dinner with you"

Alex looked towards Isabel with a smile on his face. "Great. Pick you up at seven?", Alex said happily

"Okay... see you tonight", Isabel said softly as she walked back inside her office. When she stood in the doorway, she covertly peeked back towards Alex and she was fairly certain that Laurie just gave Alex the thumbs-up. Tsk, Isabel thought, betrayed by one of my own... but I know just the thing to get back at her. The smile on her face just got bigger as she sat down behind her desk. Realizing there was no way she was gonna be able to go into idea-gathering mode today any more, she turned on the radio and a soft music spreaded through the office as Isabel sat down behind her desk. When another buzzing sound filled the office, Isabel quickly answered. "Yeah", Isabel said

"I have Liz on the phone. She says it's important", Laurie said through the intercom

~~

"Hey girls", Isabel said as she enters Liz' place and find Liz and Maria there. The tone of her voice is enough to alarm the girls.

"You sound... you're smiling", Maria commented

"Oh... sorry", Isabel said with a nervous smile

"Ok, now I definitely wanna know more. You're like The Joker on crack ", Liz said, standing right next to Maria

"Ok, read this", Isabel said, handing a piece of paper to Liz and Maria who quickly read the lines that were written on it.

"Wow", Maria and Liz both sighed with a dreamy voice

"You know, you two can be really creepy when you do that talking-as-one-person thing", Isabel said, "Anyway, when he asked me out to dinner, I figured the guy deserved a fair chance. And if it doesn't work out, what's one more trainwreck on my track record"

"Okay Isabel but... for God's sake don't hurt him. He's one of the best friends I have. I don't wanna see him get hurt", Liz implored.

"I won't", Isabel said with more confidence than she actually had.

~~

At the end of the afternoon, Liz, Maria and Isabel were sitting around Tess' bed. Michael had seen to it that they could come between regular visiting hours.

"Hey honey, how are you feeling?", Isabel asked Tess

Tess took a look at Isabel's smile and her eyes narrowed as she tried to read Isabel's eyes. "I'm fine… are you high, Isabel?", Tess bluntly asked. As long as she didn't attempt to get out of bed, Tess was just as perceptive as usual.

"What… no!", Isabel said indignantly, "Can't I be in a good mood?"

"No. Your good moods always have a reason", Tess countered

"Well, I happen to have a date tonight", Isabel said with a small grin

"You do? What about our pact against men?!", Tess asked, trying to sound like she was shocked.

"Maria has a date too", Liz blurted out, barely able to contain her laughter.

"Alright you two, explain yourselves!", Tess said in a faked stern tone.

Isabel showed Tess the poem that Alex had given her. When Tess was finished reading it, she looked back at Isabel. "Alex gave you this?", Tess asked

Isabel nodded with a grin. "Together with the biggest bouquet of roses I have ever seen", she said.

Tess looked at Isabel with a moved expression. "Okay, that's acceptible", Tess said before turning to Maria. "Now show me yours", Tess said with a happy expression until she saw Maria's uncomfortable expression.

"I'll shut up now…", Tess said

At that moment, Max Evans stepped into the room. "Good afternoon miss Harding. How are you feeling?", he asked kindly as he checked out her status chart.

"Pretty good actually", Tess said, thankfull for the change of subject.

"Good. That's really good", Max said softly as he eyed Liz from the corner of his eye. He thought he was being discrete but even though Liz didn't notice, Tess, Isabel and Maria all did.

"Oh my god!", Isabel sighed but when both Liz and Max shot her a questioning look, she quickly regrouped her thoughts. "How do you get that coat so white?", she tried to save. It was futile, of course, but she had to say something.

"We're gonna get some coffee", Maria quickly said as she practically pulled Isabel out of the room.

"Sorry about that. They're acting really weird today", Liz tried to apologize

"You know, I was actually hoping to talk to you", Max said

"To me?", Liz asked disbelievingly

"I uh… I… I was wondering…", Max stammered

"Oh for god's sake, just say it!", she heard a voice shout from outside the room. Liz immediately recognized Maria's voice which indicated Maria and Isabel were just outside the room eavesdropping.

Max gave Liz a very uncomfortable smile. "I don't usually do this, but eh…", he said. "… ever since I saw you yesterday, I can't stop thinking about you"

"About me? But you don't even know me", Liz said. Even though she had her fair share of warnings, mainly from Maria, she was still surprised.

"I don't even know your name… but I feel warm inside every time you look my way because I know that at that time, you notice I'm there", he said softly

"Aaaw", was the sound that came from just outside the room. Liz paid no attention to it.

"Look, here's the thing…", Liz said

"No, not the thing", Max said in disappointed expression

"I'm sorry… but I'm in the middle of a divorce…", Liz started, shifting uncomfortably

"I'm sorry", Max interrupted her, "I didn't plan to make you uncomfortable like this… I just want to get to know you. I thought maybe we could have dinner sometimes… just as friends if that's what you want"

"I don't know if that's such a good idea", Liz said softly

"Why not? Give me one good reason why we can't try to be friends", Max tried again.He wasn't about to take no for answer without making sure it was a final no.

Liz looked at Max for a second. He was gorgeous, Liz figured, no doubt about that... but it wasn't right to do this while she was married. On the other hand, if it was just two friends having dinner, that should be possible. "Alright", Liz said softly

"You mean yes Max, I'd love to have dinner with you tonight?", Max asked softly with a hopeful expression

"Can you two speak up?", a shout came from outside

"Shut up you two!", Liz yelled with a wide grin before turning back to Max, "Yes, I'd love to have dinner with you", she said with a smile, purposefully keeping her voice down so the eavesdroppers wouldn't hear it.

Outside, Maria and Isabel were both leaning against the door, trying to filter out any sound coming from inside, when Michael notices them and walks towards them. "You ladies love our doors that much?", he asked

"Shhh", Maria hissed, "Max is asking Liz out"

Michael's eyes went wide with curiousity, he shrugged and then walked towards the door, standing right next to Maria, and pressed his ear against the door to hear as much as he could. For a few seconds, it was dead-silent and then there was a loud bang on the door, making all three of them jump back in shock. When Max opened the door, he wasn't even surprised to see Michael along with Isabel and Maria.

"I'm dissapointed in you Michael", Max said, trying to sound serious

"Yeah yeah, cut the BS... what just happened?", Michael asked

Max gave him a look that plainly said ha ha, I'm not gonna tell you and walked away, Michael following closely in his footsteps.

Max froze in his tracks when he heard his name being called over the intercom. "Dr Evans, please report to OR-one"

~~

As Max entered the operating room, several assistants were already waiting for him, ready to start.

"Alright, what do we have here?", Max asked while putting on a pair of sterilized gloves

"Male with multiple stabwounds. It looks like he was stabbed three times; two in the abdominal of which one probably punctured the spleen and one in the chest about an inch left from the heart. The knife was definitely large and the stabwounds are pretty deep. He managed to call 911 with his cell before blacking out", one of the assistants said, "We're currently trying to find out his identity"

When Max looked at the person lying on the table, his eyes grew wide for a second. "No need for that... his name is Kyle; Kyle Valenti", he said softly

TBC
The dates come in the next episode. Be patient.