Roswell Fanatics

Title: RADIOACTIVE



Disclaimer: Don’t own it. No profit, just fun. Roswell belongs to Jason Katims, Melinda Metz, WB and UPN. Supernatural belongs to Eric Kripke and the CW.

Category: XO with Supernatural
Pairings: some Max/Liz in beginning. Mainly Dean/Liz
Rating: Mature

Summary: After the pod squad takes a couple of hard hits during their junior year of high school, they’re left picking up the pieces and trying to move forward. The group continues trying to live their life while fighting off an enemy that is hell bent on destroying them.
During the apocalypse, what's left of the pod squad runs into the Winchesters during a fight and find out they're not only fighting against an Armageddon they know they started but they’re fighting on the same side. Although their enemies are different, both are playing parts in feeding the apocalypse that's destroying the earth.

Roswell- everything up to and slightly including Departure has happened, Departure in my story ended differently.
Supernatural- Everything up to and including 99 Problems.




Prologue


A battle worn Liz Parker dropped her rifle then herself to the ground. She ripped the sleeves off her shirt to tie around the open wound on her leg to stanch the bleeding. Saving her energy was of utmost importance right now. They had come too far to blow it all to hell at the final moment and she lived with pain far worse than this. Taking full advantage of the brief respite, she took a deep breath as she rested her head against the foundation of the building behind her. She almost immediately regretted that decision as her lungs filled with soot and whatever else was floating in the air around her that caused a choking, coughing fit, her body’s own way of violently rejecting the large intake. One look at her skin confirmed the slight glow she thought might show as the part of her DNA, which could only be classified as alien, worked quickly to eradicate the unwanted chemicals trying to gain access.

The air still reeked of sulfur, burning flesh, and gun powder but it was the smoke from the still raging fires that really made her lungs burn since she stepped foot on the decrepit property. She knew she wouldn’t be able to see whatever virus it was circulating in the air this close to their target but they had known enough to guard their non-enhanced friends to the invisible weapons of warfare their enemies would most likely be using. Everything else was merely for show, ambiance for those who wished to wreak havoc on the world or at least the parts they had been able to gain control of so far. She thought of the flaming carcass of a yellow school bus on the side of the road that led onto the property. She had wondered if this had been a school at one time, imagining children running around a well maintained property but the image vanished when she remembered the blueprints for the building. It was more likely a prison than a school and the bus was probably stolen before it ended up in its fiery grave. A trophy maybe or simply just some depraved idea of a centerpiece, a welcome sign for those of like minds.

Liz scanned the surrounding area of trees and heavy brush. Why had Lucifer chosen such a well-covered building? In one way it made the building hard to find but if one knew what she was looking for, she had enough cover to get there quietly without being seen. Of course, that would be true if they weren't dealing with an extremely powerful angel. Her gaze landed on familiar green eyes with their deep sadness yet resounding strength and drive. She pulled the rifle onto her lap careful not to touch her leg while using the weapon to hide the crude bandage there. She watched the concern flash across his face for just a second before the soldier's facade fell back into place. She nodded once with a small smirk hiding the throbbing pain lancing through her entire leg with every small movement. Dean gave a stiff nod in return and his eyes lingered on her for more than they should have. It made her smile when she thought about the fact that he actually thought he was hiding his feelings for her, when in reality he was the only one who bought it.

He motioned to someone behind him and Michael stepped into view. She lifted her rifle and stood slowly using the wall behind her to take more weight as Isabel and Ava stepped out of the tree line just behind Michael. A few more hand motions and she knew they were moving forward towards the back of the building.

Liz moved carefully alongside the building trying her best not to drag her leg while staying underneath the windows until she heard the snap of a twig behind her. She spun around, gun up with her finger pressed gently against the trigger, and cursed in whispered anger at the tense face in front of her. "Son of a bitch Cas! I could have killed you!"

She lowered her gun and rolled her eyes at the apologetic look on his face, "sorry. I thought Dean told you he was sending me to help you." Anger flared in her eyes and he amended, "watch your back I meant." He chuckled nervously, "never hurts to have another set of eyes."

Liz eyed him, "leave it to him to change things last minute."

Cas gave her a look that spoke of his understanding but also the fact that he was against her little move. "He wasn't the only one."

She turned away ignoring the worried glance she knew would come. That was why she had broken off in the first place, well the ambush of demons gave her an out that was just too good to deny. She needed to escape the worried, concerned glances that were inevitable by certain knowing eyes in her group. Those god damn worried glances. She hated them more than anything she ever dealt with in her life and that said a lot.

They moved carefully towards their next point just at the edge of the building on the right side of the garden hidden behind it. Liz felt the energy bubbling along her veins and the sudden rush of adrenaline knowing they had finally come to that moment of life or death, victory or failure. Once again, it felt like it all whittled down to who had the best plan and who was willing to sacrifice the most for their endgame. She took a shuttered breath and steeled her bones, feeling the same preparation from the aliens around her. It was almost hard to believe that it was finally time to see who had the most fight, the quickest reflex, and the highest price to lose. Or maybe just who had the best tricks up their sleeve, although she might settle for the advantage of surprise.

She peeked around the edge of the building but couldn't see beyond a large bush blocking her view to the center of the garden. "Damn it, where the hell did this bush come from?"

Cas leaned out from the building and saw the inconvenient placement of the plant, "that was not there when we did surveillance." At her silence, he pulled back and looked at her curiously. Her face clearly showed she was not amused. "What? It wasn't."

She rolled her eyes and scanned the area for a better place to hide and see the target. She took two steps forward and her foot twisted on the uneven ground, something that probably wouldn't have been as bad if she wasn't putting so much weight on that damn foot in first place. She let out a whispered curse as she fell back on her injured leg that sent another jolt of pain. Her leg wouldn't hold her full weight and she felt her knee buckle. Before her body could hit the ground, two arms caught her and started to pull her back to the building. She whispered, "thanks Cas."

Cas stepped in front of her, his back to her with his gun pointed at the surrounding area. He was covering her, not carrying her. She stared at him confused as the arms that caught her slowly put her down. She turned her head seeing the familiar face, "Zan?"

He knelt down beside her, his hand pressing gently to the soaked through shirt sleeves on her leg, "we didn't miss it and you need your strength."

Liz tried to push his hand away, "we need you too! You can't waste your energy!"

His calm amber eyes met hers as his hand started to glow, "if you're not at full strength then I won't even get the chance to save him."

She stared into his determined eyes wanting to fight him but knowing he was right. "Fine, just stop the bleeding. You can fix the rest later." He dropped his eyes to her leg. She was thankful that it no longer hurt to look at him, that his touch no longer made her think of Max and caused her chest to ache.

Zan lifted his hand then stood and held out his hand for her, "come on. Let’s go save your brother in law."

Liz grabbed the offered hand and lifted herself, putting weight on her leg. She grinned at the lack of pain then rolled her eyes at his words. "Very funny, Z."

Cas glanced behind him, "are you ready? We need to move into place, we don't have much time."

Liz nodded and lifted her rifle, "let’s end this."

They moved quickly to a tree large enough to hide them but also within hearing range of the target. She glanced around the trunk and saw him standing in front of a rose brush. She turned to Cas and Zan, her eyes meeting Zan’s. "Let Ava know our new position and that we're ready."

Liz turned back to the garden and focused on the entrance on the other side. She knew that once Ava gave the word, Dean would stroll through and distract their target long enough to give them time to move in without being detected at least until they were close enough to trap him. Now they just needed everything to go as planned but she knew that wasn't exactly how things tended to work, she just hoped they had made enough back up plans to be able to handle whatever obstacles that could possibly come up. Then finally they'd be able to save Sam and she’d finally be able to tell Dean the truth and her child would have a chance to know their uncle.

Her hand unconsciously pressed against her flat stomach as the quiet thought flitted across her mind. The very reason those, very few, knowing eyes glanced at her with worry and concern. Some of the worry she was sure was because of her decision not to tell him, the one secret she was able to keep from Dean. She'd be damned if he tried something tricky to keep her out of this fight. If he knew, he'd do everything in his power to keep her from coming within sniffing distance of the fallen arch angel who was wearing Sam like a nicely tailored suit and held no love for the creations of his Father. No, there was no way in hell she'd stay out of this fight. She saw it, she had to be there. If she wasn't, they'd all fail. Okay, so maybe two secrets. For some reason, she was the keystone in this entire crazy ass scheme and she wasn't going to allow her friends to die. She'd lost too much in this life already. No one could blame her for her decisions because they would all do the same and some of them already had.

Thanks for the FB already!! Thrilled to see I'm not the only one excited about this one!
tigerr100
HypnotiqBlueEyes
roswellian love
AvalonRose
garcia88


Author's note: This is a little bit of a darker Liz than I've written before. Just a forewarning..

Chapter One

December 2002.
Twelve years earlier.

Michael Guerin wasn’t an ace student, he was barely a C student at this point but he had more important skills when it came to real life. He had street smarts and observation skills honed over the years of watching people because being wary of everyone had its perks. It perfected skills like how to observe without being noticed, how to read someone, how to catch whether the words they spoke meant the same as the actions they took or even if they actually believed the words that spilled from their own lips. Apparently, before a certain situation he had a slight blind spot when it came to his own kind. That would not happen again, lesson learned. But it didn’t really take much to read the worry on his boss’ face when Liz failed to show up to work, again. Of course Mr. Parker was quick with his cover that Liz had mentioned something to him about studying for a big test and must have simply lost time but Michael wasn’t fooled. Hell, Michael was just as worried maybe even more because he knew the true depth of Liz’s distress.

Mr. Parker thought it was because of Max’s disappearance but he wasn’t part of the cover up so he was just another townsperson who believed Max had disappeared along with his blonde girlfriend. Mr. Parker believed Max had simply run off with the girl that had started some troubles between Liz and Max the year before but he had no idea that it was so much more than the circulating rumors whispered of, that Max had become one of those teenage statistics. The stupid kid who got his girlfriend pregnant and they ran in fear of what his parents and the sheriff would do to them. What a crock! But those who knew the truth had to play dumb, had to act like they didn't know what happened or where they had went. At least there was one thing they didn't have to lie about; they had no contact with them since they left. Well, half lie. They hadn't heard from him since he came back and they would never hear from him again. It's hard for a dead man to talk and who the hell knew if Tess was alive but if she was, it probably wasn't a pleasant.

Michael parked his bike in front of his apartment complex and started for his apartment. With each step he tried to shove those old bloody memories from his mind and focus on where Liz actually might be. He already talked with Jim and Kyle, neither one of them had seen her so that scratched target practice unless she really went to the gun range on her own. She'd been there enough with the Valenti's, she could have easily gone and practiced alone but that just didn't seem right. She'd gotten good but she was too much of a perfectionist to go without someone to critique her. Maybe the owner? He was a friend of Jim's and had seen her there with him enough, it was possible.

He was pretty sure she wasn't at the karate place. That one hadn’t lasted long because she had told him it wasn't what she was looking for and he knew from Jim that she had asked about self-defense classes he knew of or someone who would be willing to teach her. Luckily, she had mainly gone to Jim or it probably would have gotten around what Liz was really into lately. God forbid her dad found out she was now extremely efficient in guns and was starting to work on her hand to hand combat skills. Or at least looking into it but it was Liz, she would become proficient in that too. It was only a matter of time.

Michael sighed as he slid his key into the lock and turned the knob, giving a little push to the door to open it. He took a step into his apartment then paused. He didn't have to worry about where Liz was. He stepped fully inside and closed the door behind him. "You missed work." He dropped his bag by the door and walked into the kitchen for a drink and opened his fridge to find two six packs blocking his perfect rows of Snapple Tea.

She snorted, "like that's important."

He took a deep breath, forcing himself to remain calm. "Damn it Parker, my place is not somewhere you can just drop by and bring all your crap. Seriously, what the hell are you doing with this much beer anyway?" He didn’t have to ask how. He’d seen how she’d gotten better with certain new abilities that had popped up over the past few months. He pushed the beer aside and grabbed a Snapple then shut the door with a bit more force than needed.

"It's cheaper." She said simply.

He moved into the living room concealing his frustration at her dirty little secret. His eyes fell upon the empty bottles around her. "Jesus Parker!" He really looked at her, her body practically melted into the couch with a lazy smile plastered on her face.

Her glazed eyes met his, "what? So I brought Jim and Jack to the party.. they help with the more.. you know..” She tapped her temple with a finger from her free hand, “painful memories." She whispered the last part in a conspiratorial tone then smiled again as she took another swig from the almost empty bottle of liquor.

He stormed over to the table and placed his tea down then grabbed the empty bottles scattered around the table and couch. "Damn it Liz! I could lose my place if anyone important saw this! Let alone someone who would tell your dad! Do you want to be sent away to that boarding school?" He threw the bottles into the trash can and made a mental note to change them into something less illegal for his age before he tossed them. He came back to the couch finding Liz giggling as if what he just said was the funniest thing in the world. "This is our lives we’re talking about here Liz!"

She stood abruptly and swayed, almost falling forward into the table but she steadied herself. "Our lives are a JOKE! All of this is complete BULLSHIT! 'Max ran away with his pregnant girlfriend and we just need to deal with the fact that he left.' HE DIDN’T JUST LEAVE MICHAEL! HE WAS KILLED BY THAT LITTLE BITCH AND THE MAN THAT KILLED HIM IN A PREVIOUS LIFE AND A BUNCH OF FUCKING BUREAUCRATS! YET HERE WE ARE ACTING LIKE SCHOOL AND OUR LITTLE LIVES ARE ACTUALLY IMPORTANT! YOUR ENEMIES WANT US DEAD AND COULD COME AT US AT ANY TIME!" She froze staring at him then threw her arms up in the air, “what's so great with revenge when they sit on their thrones light years away laughing at us? HUH?” Her arms dropped heavily then her eyes started to roll back.

"Shit!" Michael ran around the table catching Liz before she could fall. His arms wrapped around her and her body fell limp except for the slight tremors. "Liz! What the hell is going on?" He laid her out on the couch and tried opening her eyes. "Come on, talk to me!"

Her body stopped shaking but had seemed to stop everything. The quick angry breathes she had been taking had ceased and her chest wasn't rising like it should. He panicked and smacked her hard across the face. She took a deep breath in but her eyes only opened slightly, what he could see of the blood shot whites and quickly varying pupils didn't look good. "Liz, what's wrong? What did you do?"

Her voice came out rough and hoarse, "what’s the point? It's all my fault they're dead.. and we'll be dead by the end. You died in his arms and now you'll just die in mine. Nothing’s changed the end. It's just.. pointless. All roads lead to the same destination." Her head rolled to the side and her eyes seemed to focus on the floor.

His brow furrowed and he felt his heart pounding violently in his chest. He followed her gaze and saw a small orange medicine bottle on the floor. He reached down and grabbed the small bottle and picked it up. He looked back into her unfocused eyes, "what have you done?"

There was no answer as he picked her up and carried her to the kitchen hastily propping her in a sitting position in a chair then he quickly went through the cabinets trying to find anything that would make her empty her stomach. He ripped open the fridge and yanked out the eggs, praying there was a few left. He opened the Styrofoam carton and breathed, "thank god." He cracked three eggs into a glass and turned to Liz. He put the glass to her lips, "drink this for me."

Her eyes were closed and he smacked her again, she gasped then he told her, "here's a little more jack for you."

She tipped her head back and he tilted the glass with her lips allowing the eggs to slide into her mouth and down her throat. He waited for her to swallow then he said, "by the way that was actually raw eggs. I know you love your protein."

Her head came up and her eyes bulged. He prayed this worked. He knew she hated eggs and was grossed out by raw ones but he wasn't sure if she was really still there enough to be disgusted by it or if the eggs themselves would turn her alcohol soaked stomach to retch it all out. He stepped back and just prayed it worked. It didn't escape him that he had prayed more in the last five minutes than he'd prayed in the last five years.. maybe his entire life.

Finally, he saw her pitch forward and spill the contents of her stomach violently onto his kitchen table and floor. She fell to the floor and he scooped her up then carried her to the shower. He placed her in the shower stall and turned the water to warm, letting it soak through her clothes. He held her shoulders so she wouldn't fall forward and end up drowning. A memory of doing this with his foster father tried to surface but he shoved it away. Once all the vomit was washed away, he checked her pulse again then turned the water off, wrapped her in a towel, and carried her back to the couch. He heard his phone ringing but ignored it. He could only deal with one problem at a time. He wrapped the towel tighter around Liz and tried to dry her hair with as much control as he could muster. He was never good at this type of stuff. It was Isabel's thing and used to be Max's.

Her hair was slightly damp after he tried and he decided that was good enough then threw the blanket from the back of the couch over her. He felt her pulse and double checked her breathing to assure himself that she was still alive. He turned towards the kitchen and looked at the mess with a tired sigh. It was hard to miss since the table was pretty much covered and so was the floor around it. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed paper towels throwing them on the table. Liz's words kept ringing in his head and he felt his frustration being smothered by a depression so deep it almost pulled him down with a crushing force. He dropped the paper towels and grabbed his head. He felt anger bubble up in his chest as he looked at the table and raised his hand towards it then released the blast. He watched in satisfaction as the table went up in a puff of smoke and splintered wood that fell to the floor soaking up the rest of the mess. He stared and felt moisture build in his eyes then spill down his cheeks. He felt a few different strong emotions swirl and change and blend together.

He glanced towards Liz's still figure and knew immediately this was not his breakdown but her own feelings of anger, worthlessness, crushing responsibility, and depression. "Jesus Liz. Why didn't you just talk to me? To any of us?"

He concentrated on separating his own thoughts and emotions from the things being projected by Liz in her severely unconscious state. He glanced at the mess in front of him and held his hand out concentrating on changing liquids to solids. He closed his eyes and evened his breathing, imagining a bunch of saw dust in front of him covering the floor. He opened his eyes and wanted to smile in satisfaction but there was too much wrong with the whole situation to smile.

He pulled the broom out of the closet that Isabel had usually used when she came over and swept the sawdust into a bag. Then he held his hand over the trash can full of bottles of liquor and beer. He closed his eyes and imagined them all as Snapple bottles instead. He felt the energy leave his hand and opened his eyes. He was getting better at this, thankfully or he'd have to drive this bag somewhere it couldn't be tied back to him which really wouldn't take much but he didn't want to go far from Liz. He really didn't want her out of his sight. His powers actually working when he needed them didn’t put him in a celebratory mood because of why he had to do all this in the first place.

He heard his phone ring again and ignored it as he carried the two bags out of the apartment and threw them in the dumpster then hurried back inside. He picked up his cell and saw Maria's three missed calls. He thought about it then opened a text message, typing quickly. "Just getting out of the shower. Still got some school crap to do. I'll call you later." Letting her drag him to beg his teachers for extra credit work the week before was coming in handy as an excuse. It worked for the hockey game two days ago so he knew it would work now.

He went into his bedroom and grabbed his pillow and blanket then almost crawled back into the living room. His energy was almost completely drained and he felt his body screaming for him to sleep but he didn't want Liz going anywhere without talking to him first so he forced himself to the floor in front of the couch and finally allowed his body to crash.
~~

Michael felt something pulling at the corners of his mind, he felt like something was trying to pull him from a deep sleep. He tried to ignore it but then heard a noise that begged him to wake. He opened his eyes grudgingly and struggled to adjust to the darkness then he saw the small shape block the light from the windows. Liz was trying to tip toe her way to the door and he sprang up. He ignored the way his body groaned. "Don't even think about it, Parker." She froze and her head turned towards him. Her face was a mask he couldn't read and it wasn’t just from the small amount of light on her face. She wasn't leaving without talking to him. "You leave right now and I will tell everyone. Not just the group but your parents too."

"You wouldn't. He'd send me away."

He straightened his back and crossed his arms over his chest. "Try me."

She watched him for a moment then walked back to the couch and sat down. "What did you do anyway?"

He sat on the coffee table in front of the couch facing her, "oh you mean to save your life?"

Her strong, straight facade fell and her eyes dropped to the floor. "It's nothing."

"You trying to take your life is not nothing, Liz. Did you even stop to think what that would do to the rest of us? We lost our friends.. we lost our family too!"

Michael's phone rang and they both looked at each other. "It's probably Maria. She called a few times while I was getting you to rid your stomach of your poison of choice then clean up the mess. She's probably looking for you." He stood and started for his phone when he felt her hand grab his arm to stop him.

"Don't tell them Michael."

He turned to her, "are you kidding me? You need some serious help.."

Her eyes pleaded and his face hardened, "please Michael! They've been all over me as it is! If you tell them about this.. mistake.. They'll never let me breathe!"

"Maybe that's exactly what you need so I don't find you dead on my damn couch!"

"Please Michael. I swear I will get help, I'll go to a shrink or call some hotline with you right there.. Anything. Just don't tell them. Why do you think I feel so.. claustrophobic? They can drive you insane with the worrying and fussing over you and questions all damn day! I'm trying to move on but if I'm constantly reminded about.." Her eyes were piercing his, the tears welling as her face was, for the first time in a long time, completely open to him. She was broken and she was admitting it but she felt like she couldn't get past her mistakes because they wouldn't let her forget or move on. She felt stuck. A tear broke the dam and slipped down her face but she didn't wipe it away.

Michael stared into her pleading eyes, “you listen to me and you listen good. If revenge is what you need to cling to until you find a better foothold then you grip it tight and I will be right there with you. I will not come home to find you dead on my couch, do you hear me Parker?” She tried to interrupt but he continued with a look that told her he wasn’t finished. “You are not alone, I’m right here and damn it, I always will be. I ran from my responsibilities enough and I learned my lesson. Now you look at me and tell me you have too.” Her eyes watered as she stared into his haunted but determined gaze then nodded her head. “If you need to hit something,” he opened his arms, “then do it. Leave the damn alcohol out of it.” Michael watched her from a moment more before the ringing of his phone finally ticked him off enough to move away and pick it up. "Hello?"

"Michael, do you seriously think I'd believe you've been doing school work for the last four hours?"

Michael turned to Liz and watched her, still open to him and begging for his help. "No, I wasn't. I passed out on my book actually."

She chuckled, "that I can believe. Listen I was calling you to see if you heard from Liz or would go with me to look for her. She hasn't come home yet and none of us have seen her. I’m really worried Michael.”

Liz had moved in front of him and waited. He wasn't sure if she could hear Maria or not but they continued to stare at each other waiting for one to break. He rolled his eyes and sighed, "funny. I just woke up to Liz in my face."

"What?"

"Yeah, apparently she came over after her stint hiding in some library and wanted to see how my work was going." A light came to Liz's face as she lipped 'thank you'.

"Put that girl on the phone, she is so dead for not answering.."

"Wait, let me give her the phone before you get going. I didn't do anything wrong.." he stuttered and Liz's brow furrowed. "I didn’t do anything wrong for once."

He heard Maria giggle, "ok space boy, you’re spared my wrath this time. Give her the phone."

Michael pulled the phone away from his ear and handed it to Liz then placed his hand over the receiver and lowered his voice, "you do anything.. and I mean anything to make me think you’re going to do something stupid again and I swear I will tell everyone, your parents included."

She nodded and whispered, "I promise Michael. I'll come to you first. Before it gets.." She glanced at the couch, "that bad again."

He released the receiver and spoke normally, "take your punishment like a man, Parker."

Liz chuckled. It sounded forced but Michael hoped Maria was too pissed to really hear it. Liz put the phone to her ear, "hey ria."

Michael heard Maria unleash that mouth and Liz listened to every word without even pulling the phone away from her ear. Maybe she was taking the punishment comment a little too seriously or maybe she had just gained some kind of hearing immunity over the years of being close with Maria.

He walked over to the couch and dropped himself into the cushions. He scrubbed his face and felt the stiffness in his back from sleeping on the floor. His eyes went to Liz and he hoped he was making the right call. She had a point with the way the girls had treated her but he never thought Liz would.. It just wasn't in her nature to give up but she had lost the most and gained more of a burden. He wished he knew exactly what Max said to her or gave her. He knew it had to do with the Granolith but no one really knew exactly what. Larek said Max transferred it to her but he had a feeling there was more to it than that. He wasn't sure if Liz knew or just felt it but the feelings that he got from her earlier, he couldn't take his eyes off her. Even if he kept this incident hush hush for now, it didn't mean he wasn't going to watch her like a hawk from now on. She was his responsibility now. He owed Max that. He owed Liz that and Liz owed him to allow it.

barbara87413: I love Michael and Liz together! Seriously there relationship was only hinted at in certain parts in the show. Annoyed me. All of Liz's powers will be explained in time..
HypnotiqBlueEyes: Some of your answers are in this chapter.
AvalonRose: answers for your questions are in this chapter or at least touched upon.


Chapter Two

Liz lay stretched out on her bed staring at the ceiling trying not to think about anything but letting her mind blank out. She was always able to work things out better after clearing her head but forcing that didn’t always come easily. She thought about the tips Kyle had given her about meditating but that just reminded her of her powers going haywire and why she had decided to learn to find her center in the first place. She wondered how Max would have handled the news that she was changing the colors of her clothes or melting things. He probably would have felt responsible and she would have been pissed at him for it. A shrill ring from her phone jerked her from her thoughts then had her rolling her eyes. She wasn’t getting anywhere near her center anyway. Without moving from her position on the bed, she grabbed her cell off the night stand and answered with a quick, “hey.”

“Something's coming Liz. We're going to the Granolith chamber. Larek approached Michael to tell him Max escaped and was heading home in the Granolith. Because of the amount of time Larek had to prep to take Brody’s body, he said Max should arrive sometime during the night. Tonight.” The phone dropped from her hand as she jumped from her bed, quickly grabbing clothes to throw on as she made her way to the window and climbed out onto the balcony. By the time she was dropping from the bottom rung of the fire escape, she saw the Jetta turning into the alley way. Liz jumped into the passenger seat before Maria could come to a complete stop. They raced to the rock formation that used to house the Granolith chamber and found they were the last to arrive. Michael, Isabel, and Kyle stood in front of the formation watching the night sky as Maria and Liz got out of the car to join them.

In the blink of an eye there was a flash across the sky then the tip of the rock seemed to build itself back up. The outside hadn't changed much but they knew the inside had crumbled when the Granolith created a hole to escape through. There was a slight shimmer around the entire rock, if they weren't looking directly at it they probably wouldn’t have noticed it at all. Liz was the first to break from their small formation to run up the hill, the others following closely behind. She waved her hand over the rock and the shimmering hand print appeared, she placed her hand against the rock but nothing happened. Isabel stared at Liz as Michael gently moved her hand and placed his over the print.

The rock slid to the side and Liz ran inside while Larek’s story from the months before ran through her head. Larek’s guilty conscience had finally moved him to tell them the truth about the downfall of Antar and to warn Max but he had been too late. Not only did the group have to deal with the fact that Tess had fooled them all but the truth of other lies that led to losing Max. Larek had been a part of the whole plan but didn’t know the extent that the council was willing to go. The plan had originally been to take the Granolith out of Zan's hands so that it could be communal property. They didn't want all that power to be in the hands of a boy king that in their opinion was not ready to rule. Little did they know, Khivar had his own agenda within the council’s plan. When he had taken hold of the throne letting everyone think he had the Granolith's power in his hands, they had cowered and buried their roles in the death of the king and the other royals. It wasn’t until they had found out Khivar did not have the Granolith that the council gathered once again and planned to take out yet another they deemed unworthy of the Granolith's power before he could get his hands on it.

Khivar’s thirst for ultimate power had started wars he had no control of and the desolation he was leaving in his path was creating more than most could handle. His power hungry search for the Granolith would only worsen the effects on the people of the five planets and they needed someone strong enough to take him down. They needed Zan. If Zan took him out, should anything go wrong, once again they'd have their hands clean of the blood and be able to hide their involvement. Larek had gone along in the beginning because he missed his friend but when he learned that killing Khivar would ultimately be a suicide mission for Zan, he'd come running or abducting to warn them but he had been too late. Max had already disappeared in the Granolith with Tess.

Liz skidded to a stop where the pods once stood, now there was a wide opening with a glowing Granolith chamber. Everything seemed as it was before it had disappeared with the most important cargo except for the wall that separated the cavern from the chamber. Liz heard the others behind her, some exclaiming their amazement at the impossible vision in front of them. Liz ran to the inverted cone and placed her palm against it. “Max! Can you hear me? Are you there?”

The dark swirling winds inside the smooth cone seemed to slow and a light spread out beside Liz. Isabel and Michael took her arms gently, afraid it would pull her in but then Max appeared on the ground beside her as the light went out. Liz dropped to her knees next to him. Her hands went straight to his face, “Max? Oh thank God, can you hear me?”

Isabel’s whispered, “Liz.. your hands.”

Liz tore her gaze from Max’s eyes to her hands and finally noticed the blood. So much blood. It was running from his ears, eyes, and nose covering his cheeks and now her hands. She cried out, “Max please! Answer me!” She closed her eyes and pressed her lips to his, hoping their connection would flare to life but nothing happened. A sob escaped her mouth and Isabel wrapped her arms around her.

“Liz..” Isabel tried to move her away but then Max’s eyes opened slightly and she gasped.

Liz pressed her lips to his again then pulled away slightly, looking into his eyes. “You’re okay. I’ve got you Max.”

His voice was soft and wet, “I’m so sorry Liz.” He coughed and more blood leaked from his mouth.

Tears fell from her eyes and mixed with the blood on Max’s face and her hands. “Shh.. you’ll be fine. I’ve got you. You can heal yourself, I’m here. We’ll lend you energy.. Larek showed me how.”

He coughed up blood again and tried to stop her, “listen.. please. You have to listen. Khivar.. is dead. You need to hide the Granolith so that no one can get their hands on it.” He coughed again and then reached his hands up to cup her face. She felt the connection sputter to life but it was so weak. Hide it forever here on earth as punishment to everyone who wanted us all dead. I’m so sorry Liz.. for everything. My beautiful angel. I prayed to see you, just one last time.

Liz cried out, “no Max don’t talk like that. You’re going to be fine.” Liz turned to the others and Max’s hands fell from her face, “tell him, tell him he’ll be fine.” She searched their faces, catching the tears, disbelief, and sadness.

She felt Max’s hand tighten on her arm and she turned back to his face. “Liz.. I love you, I always loved you.” He reached up for her face and she leaned down touching his lips with hers. His hand gripped her cheek and she felt his other touch her forehead. She opened her eyes and pulled back to ask a question but Max started talking in a language she didn’t understand let alone ever heard before. Then he pulled her face down to his and kissed her. “Remember.. I love you. I’m sorry.”

She stared at him shaking her head, “Max..” His eyes slid closed and his hands fell away. She grabbed his hand and pressed it to her cheek, “no Max! Take my energy.. heal yourself! MAX! PLEASE! I can’t lose you again.. Max. I can’t. DAMN IT MAX WAKE UP! HEAL YOURSELF, WE CAN DO THIS!”


Liz’s head shot up from her desk with a sob ripping from her throat. Her eyes started to focus and she was no longer in the Granolith chamber but her room. She could still feel the crusty dried blood on her face and brushed her fingers over her cheeks but her hands felt nothing but smooth skin, sweaty but clean. She was sitting at her desk and saw the note pad in front of her that still remained blank except for her tears from the dream. Without a thought, she waved her hand over the notepad returning it back to its unblemished state. She swiped at her face again and ran into the bathroom. She heaved into the toilet until there was nothing left then crawled over to the sink and pulled herself up. She washed her face then forced herself to swish mouth wash in her mouth. She leaned heavily against the sink and looked into the mirror. The white face she saw in the reflective surface only made her turn away and stumble into her bedroom. She dropped herself onto her bed and tried to think about what she was doing before she fell asleep. The fact that she fell asleep at her desk with a note pad meant she was probably trying to write her valedictorian speech and yet again she was coming up blank and haunted by old memories again.

Why did her nightmares always take her back there? They always forced her to relive one of the many times she failed and things just felt unfinished. She never got to say anything in return because by the time she wrapped her head around the fact he was saying goodbye, he was already gone. She never got to tell him that it didn’t matter, that she still loved him, that she had done everything because she loved him. She was so focused on trying to get him to save himself that she never told him what he really needed to know, that she had never stopped loving him.

She held him for what felt like hours that day as she cried into his bloody shirt, her hand laid against his slowly cooling cheek. The others stood around them in different states of sorrow, anger, and disbelief. As she wept onto the broken, unmoving body of the only man she loved, whispers chanted in her mind but she was too overcome with grief at the time to pay attention to anything other than the beautiful quiet face in front of her that could no longer kiss her lips, whisper in her ear, or fight her about anything.

Her anger had finally cracked through her sorrow and flared. She sprang up suddenly; her eyes searched the interior of the chamber until they landed on Larek. She ran towards him and slammed him against the cave wall demanding he tell her who was responsible for the death of her soul mate. His eyes reflected the sorrow in hers and she choked back a sob as names spilled from his mouth. Names she didn’t understand but knew she’d never be able to face because of the one very important advantage they had. They resided on planets that were light years away from her. She saw the apology in his eyes and knew he was about to speak it out loud but she cut him off, “save it Larek, you want to apologize.. you help us. Max wanted the granolith to stay away from them. He told me to keep it hidden here as a punishment. They'll come to you as their only contact with us here on earth and when they do, you will send them to me. I’ll give you places and then we’ll take care of them here.”

Larek shook his host’s head, “they'll never come here themselves..”

“Then let them send their men and we’ll give them an ultimatum. Life here on our side or death.”


A knock at her door pulled her from the dark memory and she turned her head to see her mother opening the door, “still working?”

Liz was thankful there were no tears left and glanced up at her mother, “no. I can’t think of anything. I know it should be important.. and I should be able to easily come up with something amazing just like everyone is expecting from me.”

Nancy Parker chuckled as she made her way over to her daughter’s bed. She sat gently on the edge and looked at her daughter. “It’s nothing to get that worked up over Liz. You’ve done so much studying to get great grades and yet the valedictorian speech is stumping you. Maybe because you’re looking at it like it’s the greatest assignment you’ve ever done and that you can’t fail but the truth is.. it’s just a speech. Some people may not even remember it and some people may be too excited about the day to be able to concentrate. The people who truly care about you will love you whether your speech is boring or funny or a complete mess. So why worry so much about a speech that is completely up to you? If you feel like it, you could walk up there and say peace out bitches I’m going to Harvard!”

Liz’s eyes widened, “mom!”

Nancy smiled, “please don’t do that though, your father and I still have a business to run.”

Liz started laughing, “I can’t believe you just said bitches.”

Nancy narrowed her eyes, “that doesn’t leave this room.” Liz smiled and Nancy ran her hand through Liz’s hair on her pillow. “The truth is.. you are no longer my baby and you no longer have any assignments left at Roswell High School. This is just a moment for you to be yourself and to share whatever you wish with your fellow students, some who matter to you and some, let’s face it, you may never see again.” Nancy rested her hand on her daughter’s cheek and smiled. “No matter what, your father and I will be proud of you and will love you.”

Liz cupped her mother’s hand on her cheek as tears pricked at Liz’s eyes. “Thanks mom. For everything.”

“That’s what I’m here for sweetheart. Even when you’re grown up, I’m still your mom. You may not be my baby but you will always be mine. You remember that.”

Liz smiled, “I will mom.”

Nancy stood and ran her hands down her skirt, straightening any wrinkles. “Oh by the way, Michael asked about you. I’m guessing you two have plans or is he fighting with Maria again and needs advice?”

Liz’s smile faltered a bit, knowing exactly why Michael was asking about her. They had gotten in a fight last night about some of the things she said while severely intoxicated several months ago and comments she had apparently made over the months since. Maria walked in on them and once she realized what it was about, refused to hide the truth any longer. She spilled everything about Future Max while Liz ran and hadn’t answered any of his calls. Frankly, she was surprised he hadn’t stormed in there already or all of them really. She was sure Michael wouldn’t keep that from Isabel and Kyle, there weren’t supposed to be any secrets anymore. “Probably fighting with Maria. I should call him.” Liz reached for her cell phone.

Nancy chuckled as she walked to the door. “It’s funny, you and Maria have practically been sisters forever but recently you and Michael have looked so much like brother and sister.” Liz glanced at her mother. “He’s always looking out for you and I see you two conspiring together.”

Liz quirked her eye brow, “what are you trying to say?”

Nancy waved her off, “It’s just nice to know.. specially after everything the past few years that you have friends that really watch out for you. Isabel and Kyle too. Such an odd bunch but you all look out for each other.”

Liz smiled with a hint of a grimace, “yeah, sometimes too much.”

“Sometimes too much is a good thing, my dear. You’ve all lost so much, it’s only natural that you’d bond together and I like seeing you happy. Sometimes true friends can be overbearing but that’s just because they know you and sometimes it can piss you off.” Nancy smiled, “but when you need them, they’re there for you no matter what. And that’s not something that comes easily. Believe me.”

Liz watched her mother and wondered again if she knew more than she let on. “I know. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them either.”

Nancy winked at her daughter, “then I’ve raised you right.” With another loving smile, she left Liz to her thoughts.
~~

May 2002

“Let’s give a warm welcome to your class valedictorian, Elizabeth Parker!”

Liz made her way up the stairs then to the podium on the stage with just a little bit of nervous energy flowing through her. Her eyes caught Maria and Isabel and smiled as they waved obnoxiously. She placed her cards on the podium and thanked their principal. She turned towards the students and smiled nervously as they cheered. Her eyes scanned the rows of students and found Kyle hooting with the people around him, his eyes meeting hers with the love she always saw in them. Looking a few rows forward, she found Michael sitting and clapping as if this was the most boring thing he was ever forced to be a part of or maybe it was just the cap and gown. She chuckled then caught his gaze and he smirked with a thumb up then went back to being stonewall Guerin.

Liz took a deep breath as the students calmed and sat back down. Nervously, she pulled the microphone down to her and said, “hi. Maybe I should have asked for a step stool or something.”

Laughter rumbled through the crowd as she laughed some of the nerves away. “Well, I know some of you weren’t very surprised that I was given the pleasure of giving this speech today and some of you are probably just hoping I don’t go on and on about something boring.” Light chuckles followed as she took a breath, “I was actually pretty nervous about this but was given some pretty good advice.” She found her mother in the stands with the parents and smiled, “thanks again mom.” She looked back at the crowd in front of her, “growing up in Roswell can lead to a lot of boring but luckily for me, life doesn’t always follow one path. My life has had its fair share of ups and downs, some very public and some very private.” Her eyes met Michael’s and she smiled, “but the one thing that has never changed has been my support system. My friends that have lifted me up just when I needed it, family that has encouraged and rooted me on while giving me everything I needed to succeed. I suppose the one piece of advice that I could give to you is.. when you fall hard or fail awesomely and you feel like it’s impossible to get up and make anything out of the mess that you feel you are in, there is always hope. Even if it’s something that seems small in the scope of things but to you it’s everything. That doesn’t mean that your life will just turn around one day, it will take work, hard work but you can always change your fate. No matter what it is that has got you down, get up on your hands and knees and work hard to get to whatever your goal is. I wouldn’t be standing in front of you today if I had given up, if I had let everything just crumble around me and I have some very special people to thank for that.”

Her eyes went to each of her friends and she gave them each a nod then her head turned towards the stands and she found Jim Valenti sitting with Amy Deluca, the Evans’, and finally her parents. “Without the people who truly cared and loved me, I don’t know where I would be today.” She turned back to the crowd of students in front of her and she didn’t care how many were thinking about jokes that involved Max and Tess in their tiny heads. “So go out into the world, wherever it is that you are planning to go and set the bar high. Be the best version of yourself and don’t forget to thank those that helped you along the way and love those who decided to stay in your life to support you and help you succeed. Don’t let another day go by without telling them how much they mean to you because sometimes you won’t get another chance. I once heard someone say that life is what you make of it and I thought that was so ridiculous because of course it would be but I never understood its true meaning until I hit the real setbacks in my life. Make sure that life is what you make of it and not what everyone else or what the events that happen to you make of it. Don’t forget that those days when you feel your worst are only a moment in time and you have so many other things to feel and do, so push yourself to get up and make your life amazing. You are in control of your future, so make it great and show the world that there’s a lot more that comes from Roswell, New Mexico than UFO sightings and weather balloons.” The laughter rolled through the crowd of students and Liz’s eyes met Maria and Isabel and she smiled. “Congratulations class of 2002, you have survived high school now go, celebrate with your friends, and live life to the fullest!”

The students went up in a roar, cheering and jumping from their seats. Liz smiled at the sea of excited classmates in front of her as one thought crossed her mind, and see to it that those that have sinned against you receive their proper punishment.

HypnotiqBlueEyes: I know I'm not going to lie and say it didn't get me when I was writing. Most times in my Liz/Dean stories there was some sort of falling out with Max, where this one is very different. Definitely got what I did when I was writing her. Liz always had this hope even when things were at their worst in the show so I didn't think that would change but would be twisted by the events that happened in this story. Deep down there's this tiny spark of hope but there's parts of her struggling with different sides of it. I'm loving how intriguing it is drawing that out and seeing where it goes.
barbara87413: Yeah, this story is a little different concerning Max.. maybe because I was working on my Roswell story a bit when I had this one brewing in my head and becoming louder. Answers might be in bits and pieces(there's a brief bit in this chapter) but we'll get there. I won't leave you hanging!

Chapter Three

November 28th, 2002.

I thought that Harvard was the right choice. I thought that the dreams I had before Max changed my life were enough. I jumped into classes head first with everything I had. I built my schedule so that my free time could be spent in labs and occasionally at the local indoor gun range to keep my skills up. I thought if I kept myself busy this would be easy, that the years would fly by before I realized it but these past three months I've slowly been coming undone.

I've kept up with my work and teachers still see me as the upper tier student that I am but when I don't need much sleep and studying has become easier because of the changes in my DNA.. I'm finding more and more free time that I can't keep up with. I can't fill the time fast enough so that the memories I try so hard to keep at bay won’t take over my mind. I should have known better. I had gotten so desperate last year that I hacked into the school's network and each teacher that had actually used it to upload lesson plans I took advantage of. I did work a week to two weeks before it was due when I didn’t have something set up to do with myself.

I've thought about getting a job just to fill time, I've found this great coffee shop that I go to every day and really should apply but what happens if I have to leave? If Larek contacts one of us and we have to deal with whoever they send? I just don’t feel right leaving people shorthanded at the drop of a hat and that’s kinda how my life is now. At any time I could get a call and have to leave yet I’m still playing along with this farce of normal college freshmen.

I know I should call someone.. I should call Michael but I talk to Maria and Isabel more than once a week. What if they decide they need to come here? What if they mess up their own courses for me? Haven’t I ruined everything enough?


December 2002

Liz slipped into her coat and wrapped her scarf around her neck before pulling on her hat. She stepped outside and felt the chill of the air against her face. It was one of the things she actually loved about the Northeast in the winter. She loved the fall and the changing of the colors around campus from the trees to the grass to the flowers. It was beautiful, she didn’t really see how anyone could not love it but winter, there was something special about winter for her.

With winter breaking through the door, she had already seen a snow fall and they were being warned of a big storm that could drop so much snow that people needed to stock up in prep for most places to be closed. The people she had met had warned her that December in Boston could get really cold for someone who wasn't used to it but she absolutely loved it. That chill to the air was invigorating and something about the season was uplifting.

Every time she went for a walk outside she felt the depression that weighed so heavily on her recently lighten just a bit. She'd walk to her favorite coffee shop and sit at the window with school work, a book, or sometimes just her coffee. Today she had a few school books in her bag to study for her upcoming finals, not that she really needed to but it kept up appearances. At least that's what she told herself.

As she walked, she thought about Maria who had a final this week for one of her music classes. She was planning on flying to Boston after her last final to travel back to Roswell along with her for Christmas. Liz had been planning on the places she'd take Maria to show her how much she loved the area. Well, partly. Partly to show how much she loved the place and partly, or mainly, as a way to show how well she was doing to calm her friends’ worries. She never did tell anyone about her tiny bit of depression that had been twisting her insides last month but it was because she had gotten better. She found her own solution or really it found her. Winter came.

There was something about a season that made the trees lose their leaves and froze the ground. It got darker earlier and the lights that came on seemed warmer. When the snow fell, there was a calm serenity to the quiet that it created. The bare trees didn't look scary or foreboding but strong and beautiful in their naked state.

Maybe it got dark way too early but the nights didn't seem as dark, fires burned in fireplaces, lights adorned trees and buildings, and when the snow was on the ground it seemed to brighten even the darkest night. Some nights she'd sit in her favorite chair in front of the window wrapped in her favorite blanket with a cup of hot chocolate or coffee, depending on her mood. She looked out the window and just gazed at the beauty that winter could create.

The stars weren't as bright as back home but the city lights somehow made up for it especially when they glittered off the water or snow. Some nights were dreary, that was true, but that just made her feel as if winter knew not everything in life is meant to be shining, pretty, and new because sometimes there was beauty in the dark and broken.

Some nights she woke up and felt like Max was there, his arms around her fighting off the chill. Sometimes she felt it in the chair too but for some reason it comforted her. She never put too much thought into it because she wasn't going down that road but there were times the logical side of her simply chalked it up to her own feelings. Some nights, it just felt like the perfect way to enjoy the winter chill was to be wrapped in someone's arms. For her, those arms always belonged to Max.

It almost felt like nature knew there was a time to calm down, to hide away, and recharge. Something about it all was inspiring. Every year it cleaned the slate and life started again, fresh and new. Winter was a secret friend and companion to her misery and need for renewal. Winter was a balm to her soul here.
Liz finally made it to the coffee shop and reached for the door handle and met another hand. Liz pulled back slightly embarrassed, "sorry I was distracted.." She looked into the face that the hand belonged to, "Ava?"

The girl with the punk styled short blonde hair looked completely different with all blonde hair that now reached the middle of her back and a light, barely there makeup job. The only thing that seemed to remain the same was the soft, gentleness in her eyes. Her face came alive, "what are you doing here?"

Liz chuckled, "what happened to that New York girl? The hair, the makeup, the accent?"

Ava shrugged, "figured it was time for a change."

Liz smiled, "I know exactly what you mean."

Ava opened the door and gestured for Liz to go in, "so what's new?"

Liz chuckled, "what isn't?" At Ava's quirked eyebrow she continued in a softer voice, aware of those around them as they stepped up to the back of the line. "You know that whole change thing? Well, I've displayed new talents."

Ava smiled, "I told you. So what, ah.” She glanced around them, “what area? Mental or physical?"

"Both."

Ava's brow shot up, "what?"

Liz shrugged, "it seems everything they can do.. I can.. To a certain extent. Some just as well, some laughably not."

Ava's eyes were still wide as she watched Liz, "Primary and Secondary?”

Liz nodded, “yeah, that’s pretty much how they took it too. They always had something that was unique to them. Those are the ones I can’t do as easily or have only accidently done once but yeah.”

“We've got a lot of catching up to do. Maybe in a more private place though."
**

Liz sat at her desk with her laptop in front of her staring at the essay she had finished two hours ago. She had gone over it multiple times yet she couldn’t bring herself to print it out. All of a sudden, a window popped up in the middle of her screen. Liz smiled as she hit CTRL S to save her word document then ran her finger over the touch pad bringing her pointer to click on the chat invite then yes. The chat room popped up on her screen.

Pixiegrl: HEY LIZZIE!!!

LParker02: You’ll never believe who I ran into.

Pixiegrl: Mark Wahlberg.

LParker02: What?

Pixiegrl: nevermind. Who?

LParker02: Ava.

Pixiegrl: seriously?

LParker02: Yeah. She’s taking classes.

Pixiegrl: at Harvard?

LParker02: Yes! Apparently, the smart gene is a must in czech genetics.

Pixiegrl: wow. How did it go? I mean I know you were the one who really talked with her before and you seemed to like her..

LParker02: I was really excited to see her. She looks so different now! We’re talking about getting an apartment together next semester.

Pixiegrl: How long have you been talking to her? You have a cell phone chica!

LParker02: Calm down ria, I’ve been meaning to call you but I’ve been busy getting everything together for my finals and final projects. It’s only been a week.

Pixiegrl: good for you. I still think I’d have a hard time separating her from satan’s maiden.

LParker02: You won’t. Believe me. Even now you can just see the difference between them before she even talks. She’s just a really good person.

Pixiegrl: person meaning..

LParker02: Just wait til you meet her next week. You’ll be instant friends.

Pixiegrl: any friend of yours chica. You know me, as long as they are good to my girl, I can be good to them. They hurt you and I’ll kill them.

Pixiegrl: so how’s everything else? How have you been?

LParker02: Good. Buried in work but good. Not sure I’m too excited about going home though.

Pixiegrl: but I know your parents are excited to see you. I talked to them last week because my mom was at the crash with your mom and Mrs. Evans. Can you believe that? They’ve started some I know a Czech book club.. except that they don’t all know about Czechs.

LParker02: lol yeah Isabel told me. I think her mom started it. It’s just a mom thing. They’re all in the same boat with us all going away to college in the Northeast. How’s Michael and Kyle? Still with their weekly sport nights?

Pixiegrl: Yup. You know Michael, any chance to watch a game.. any game. lol They went to some game at Madison Square Garden last week because Kyle scored some tickets at a party. I’ve never going to hear the end of it.

LParker02: That’s awesome! Wow, I’m kinda of jealous.. I haven’t done anything like that here.

Pixiegrl: like you’d have any fun at a basketball game! We should go see a concert!

LParker02: That sounds fun. Maybe when I get to NYC next? Well, I should finish this essay…

Pixiegrl: :p buzzkill. I just got on!

LParker02: Maria, I’m going to see you face to face next week!

Pixiegrl: it’s too far away.. I miss you!

LParker02: I know. I have so many places to show you when you get here and my mom has our favorites in the freezer just waiting for us to get there. It’s going to be a very crazy Christmas break completely filled with me. You’ll get sick of me by the middle of next week!

Pixiegrl: never happen! I miss spending so much time with you!

LParker02: Tell everyone I said hi and that I’ll see them in Roswell. Just in case I forget to call or something. I know Isabel will end up calling this weekend.

Pixegrl: will do Lizzie! See you soon!

LParker02: I'm going to have to slap you if you keep calling me that.

Pixegrl: finish your homework Lizzie.

barbara87413: I know! Of course I was upset for more than just Liz with the FBI just happening to find random things like a video tape and piece of paper unburned, watchable or legible after an entire base was burned down. Then a secret organization being brazen enough to attack a school during graduation? LOL okay I'm going to stop rambling now..
HypnotiqBlueEyes: Something like she went through won't be easy to get over. Big crazy takes time.. lol but we're jumping ahead here.


HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! Wish I had a Halloween chapter now!

Chapter Four

December 15th, 2004
I've been seeing him everywhere. I think I may be going crazy. It's been so much easier to numb the pain, to lock away the memories but this isn't painful. I don't even know how to explain it. It started as feelings last winter, his arms around me, the feel of him sleeping beside me.. It confused me because it never scared me or hurt.. It made me feel.. Lighter somehow. I just didn't think about it too much in fear of it becoming painful, of releasing memories that were locked away securely so I could keep going. Have I driven myself insane or am I haunted? Was that even possible? Could he really be haunting me?


Liz made her way to the gun range and her cell phone started ringing in her pocket. She pulled it out with a glance at the screen before flipping it open. "Hey Aves, what's up?"

"Where are you? It's movie night! I got Mean Girls and Shaun of the Dead."

Liz chuckled, "you weren't supposed to get out of class until eight. Wait how did you get ahold of Shaun of the dead? Didn't that just come out in the theaters?"

"Liz.. I grew up on the streets of NYC! You seriously don't believe I’d retain the skills to get a decent bootleg?"

"It's Boston."

"Exactly. It's a busy city."

Liz shook her head, "well I was on my way to the gun range. I haven't been there in.."

Ava interrupted her, "a week. Now get your ass back here, I didn't skip class to sit in this apartment alone. Besides a got two bottles of your favorite wine."

Liz crinkled her nose, "wine? I'm still trying to get the taste for that stuff."

"And that's why I got a bottle of champagne too."

Liz tried to hide her laughter and sound like she wasn't sure even though she had already turned around and was heading towards the apartment. "I don't know. I don't really want to get rusty."

"Seriously, what the hell do you need to work on using a gun for when you've got yourself a built in weapon?"

Liz covered her mouth to muffle her laughter at Ava's pissed tone. "I'm not that great at that one. It's better to have a backup or really a primary means of defense without showing my greener side."

"If you don't get your ass here in twenty minutes I'll.. I swear I'll call josh and tell him you wanted him to come over for a movie night and I'll lock your ass in this place with him for the night."

Liz rolled her eyes, "please just locking us in the apartment is not going to force me to have sex with him."

"Yeah well, the tension alone be punishment enough."

Liz giggled, "fine. I'm on my way."

"Damn straight you are."

Liz froze, her lips whispering the name before she could stop them. "Max?"

"What?"

Liz heard the confused voice from the phone but stared straight ahead where a man walked towards her on the sidewalk. Her breath locked in her lungs as he came closer his face coming into the light from the street lamp. A small smile spread as his eyes seemed to find her.

"Liz? You there? Are you okay?"

Liz couldn't move or speak as the vision came to a stop in front of her. The smile still playing at his lips as he leaned down, she closed her eyes and swore she felt his lips touch hers and she sucked in a breath.

"LIZ! Where are you? I'm coming!"

She opened her eyes and he was gone. The sidewalk was once again hers alone. The yelling from her phone caught her attention. "I saw him, Ava." Her voice broke, "I think I'm losing my mind."

"Just keep moving. I'm coming. Just keep moving towards the apartment."

Liz could barely feel her feet let alone start moving them. She was frozen solid. "I can't Aves."

She could hear Ava's breathing change and pictured her running. "Then don't move and I'll find you. Stay with me. I'm coming Liz, I'm coming."

Liz’s quiet shaky words seemed to seep into the cold air chilling her bones. “What’s happening to me?”
**

Jan 22nd, 2005

The news is calling for a huge snow storm, one of the biggest since I've been here. Ava and I have the apartment completely stocked with absolutely anything we could want or need.

Isabel and Maria were talking about flying out but we told them they could get stuck here for who knows how long and poor Michael didn't want to get stuck in a small apartment with a bunch of women. Of course Maria said she'd let him stay and hang out with Kyle. Sure they got along just fine, they'd probably watch sports and play video games the whole time but Christmas break in Roswell was tense, to say the least.
We had our second visit from representatives of the galactic jackass council, as Michael and I have dubbed them. The hardest part this time was realizing that these people weren't actually from the other planets like the skins but had abducted bodies from here like Larek has always done with Brody. For some reason, that hadn't crossed our minds last year when we met the first poor excuses for representatives/assassins. We had no choice when they refused to stop their mission of either gathering the Granolith or killing us. We killed innocent people because we didn't know the truth but this time, we knew some of them. Maria had recognized the man as one of her mother's out of town customers and it hit us that although they had time to send people to us why would they bother when they could simply send their consciousness and use less resources.

It was a hard pill to swallow that we had killed innocent people because we didn't know any better but even if we did know at the time.. we might've still done it. The thought alone scares me but maybe I'm still dealing with the innocent people part. It was our first foray in this battle and it was messy but now we know how to deal with them. At least the ones that take the abduction approach. We went to Larek for information but the only thing we learned was they could only hold the connection for so long so if we wanted to leave the person unharmed we just had to play keep away until the connection was lost. It was exhausting and the things they had said about Max to get at me, to get me to snap and come after them.. If it wasn't for Michael and Ava, I probably would have snapped their necks without even thinking. That thought scares me too. I know the things that I'd do for this family sometimes.. can frighten me but I actually had the thought whisper in my mind that the only way to make them stop speaking about Max that way was to rip out their throat like they had tried to do to Max. It got so loud I thought Ava might've heard it. I don't know if she did, I was too scared to talk about it let alone ask her.

Ava and Isabel were probably the only ones that knew how much the comments ate at me. I didn't have the heart or the strength to tell the others about my.. visions, nightmares, haunting. Whatever it is. I haven't seen him again since that night on the sidewalk but not knowing why or how still eats at me. Isabel told me she would see Alex, even talk to him after his death but that actually made me a little jealous. If only I could talk to him.. tell him the things I didn't get a chance to when I saw him last, even if it was just my imagination.. Maybe there would be some closure to it or maybe somehow he'd hear it.

Anyway, at least we learned a valuable lesson this time. If I can't control my emotions, they still make my powers go haywire. Practice hadn't helped that but it was more dangerous now because I've become more powerful. Practice had not only gained more control over the emerging abilities but brought some more talents to light as well. This was far more than the electric waves that ran up and down my arms leading to things that I touched melting or changing colors, this was more of a.. lightning bolt. Thankfully, Michael discovered he had a new power too, a shield. Without it, he might be dealing a nasty wound in his side still because my healing abilities are shoddy at best. Ava can heal small things and she's not quite ready to reveal the fact that we have a healer out there yet. Not until he's safe. Even in our tight knit group.. everyone has a secret or at least some of us with someone else in the group. I'm afraid I probably have the most. Maybe that's why I love the time in Boston with just Ava. I love spending time with everyone else but sometimes it's nice to just.. forget about everything for a while.


"Hey Liz. The snow has begun!" Ava poked her head into Liz's room with an over dramatic flair. Seeing Liz in bed with her pen scribbling in her journal, she leaned against the doorframe. "Haven't seen you write in that in a while."

Liz pulled the ribbon placeholder over the page and closed the book. She glanced up at Ava, "had some errant thoughts. I thought it'd be better to get them out then to have them annoying me all night."

Ava nodded, "sounds.. logical."

Liz rolled her eyes and the corner of her mouth quirked up, "shut up."

"Got any last minute stops in mind before the snow traps us in here like caged animals?"

Liz stretched as she thought about it. "You want to hit the coffee place? We could at least people watch for a little while or see if we bump into anyone. Have some conversation with others before were stuck with just each other." She grinned.

Ava tapped her finger on her chin feigning deep thought, "I could go for a fancy drink."

They got dressed quickly and headed towards the coffee shop. All the while laughing and playing around in the falling snow. There were groups of other students out enjoying the beginnings of the storm, most likely with the same idea of being stuck in their dorms or apartments once it got really bad.

The coffee shop wasn't as packed as they thought it would be and they found two seats in front of the small fire place. They were hard spots to get during the winters, specially the long ones because they were the best seats in the house. Although when alone Liz preferred a window spot especially when it was snowing.

They had stayed for an hour talking to a few friends that also made the coffee shop they're last stop. When they stepped out onto the sidewalk the snow was already up to their ankles and they saw some of the shops nearby putting up their signs of either being out of something or they were closing to get home.
When they finally reached the front steps of their apartment they were covered head to toe in melting snow from their antics and they were discussing what would be the best drink to warm them up. They were laughing at some of their ridiculous suggestions when Liz suddenly stopped laughing and froze in place on the bottom step. Ava looked at her frozen expression in question then heard her soft, shaky voice, "Max?"

Ava followed her line of sight. "Holy shit."

The man stood up, "Ava, I've been waiting here for almost an hour."

Ava choked back a sob and turned to Liz, "this is not a hallucination or your imagination. I'm sorry but it’s Zan, not Max."

She felt Liz's hand on her arm start to shake. Zan took a step forward watching Liz warily, "I'm sorry, I had to blend in."

Liz nodded and her mouth opened to speak but no words came out. Zan moved forward quickly seeing the whites of her eyes and threw out his arms to catch her. Zan shifted her weight and lifted her easily in his arms. Ava hurried in front of him unlocking the main door and holding it open for him to bring her through. "Lead the way Aves."

Ava smiled, "I know this is probably the worst timing but I'm so happy to see you. Everything's clear? You’re sure you can be here?"

Zan nodded, "yeah Aves. It's safe. I wouldn't chance it and put you or her in danger. I found them and could finally come home. I wasn't going to let this storm stop me."

Ava laughed giddily as she opened their apartment door, "if you weren't carrying my best friend I probably would have jumped you in the stairwell."

The chuckle that shook his shoulders made her smile widen. "We've got time for that baby girl. Plenty of time."

Ava closed the door as Zan carried her into the apartment then looked towards her in question. “Down the hall and to the right. Her door should be open.” She couldn’t hide her smile as she watched him carry Liz towards her bedroom. She walked into the kitchen wondering what Zan would want to drink, wondering if his likes had changed at all during their years apart.

The buzzer at the front door went off and she chuckled, “Josh forgot his key again? Seriously?” She moved to the door and hit the button underneath the speaker, “oh Josh. You seriously have a problem you know that, right?”

“Who’s Josh?” The female voice rang through the foyer.

“Isabel?”

“It’s still snowing out here, you know.” Another female voice.

Ava pressed the button to unlock the main door then opened the apartment door and jogged down the stairs. “What are you guys doing here?”

Isabel and Maria climbed the stairs with full back packs on their backs. “We were serious when we said we’d just move it up a few days to beat the storm.”

Ava glanced around them, “do you have any more bags for me to help you with?”

Maria shook her head, “nope, told her to pack light.”

Ava’s brow shot up, “Isabel and pack light don’t go in the same sentence.”

Isabel rolled her eyes, “just because most of the time I don’t have to doesn’t mean that I can’t when I need to.”

The girls moved inside the apartment and Maria asked, “where’s Liz?”

Zan came out of the kitchen, “I put her in bed.”

Maria jumped, “holy shit!”

Isabel threw her hand up and tried to push Maria behind her, “who the hell are you?!”

Ava jumped in front of Isabel with both hands splayed in surrender in front of her. “Isabel wait! It’s not what you think! Not who you think. It’s Zan!”

Isabel’s eyes flicked between Zan and Ava. “I thought you were dead.”

Zan grinned, “we needed everyone to think that so I could make sure the bastards that tried to killed me didn’t get away with it or try to hurt Ava.”

Isabel slowly dropped her hand staring at the man that looked so much like her brother. “When..”

Ava lowered her hands and sighed, “he just got here.. well, he was here waiting on the door step when Liz and I got back. She passed out when she saw him.”

“No joke.” Maria quipped staring at the Max clone.

Ava lead them over to the living room to sit down, “you don’t even know the half of it. Just relax and I swear I’ll tell you.” She glanced back at Zan, “we’ll tell you everything.”

Over the next hour Isabel and Maria sat quietly, listening intently with only a few questions as Ava described the silent hell Liz had been living. Liz had been too afraid to tell them the whole truth and Ava only knew the parts that Liz had opened up to her about. Then Zan and Ava revealed their story of betrayal and quick thinking when the two closest people to them decided that Zan wasn’t needed. Zan went into hiding and followed Rath and Lonnie to find out just who was pulling the strings. After the summit meeting, they disappeared and Zan spent years splitting his time between tracking down Rath and Lonnie and checking in on Ava.

Zan finally found Rath in an old haunt in New York just recently and found out that he had been hiding from Nicholas who had killed Lonnie not long after the summit meeting but Rath was losing his mind without his family. Zan was going to leave him to his very well deserved misery but when he turned to leave, Rath attacked. After a short struggle with as little fire power as Zan could use, Rath was hit. Even after the man had tried to kill him, he still didn’t want to kill him. He had grown to think of Rath as a pain in the ass brother at one time and he had a really hard time separating those two sides of the man that was coming at him. Zan felt like Rath was trying to get hit and hit hard. Zan knew that the blast that knocked Rath down wasn’t his own but Rath’s that bounced off his shield. When Zan got to him he was already gone. He had a small feeling of relief that he could finally go to Ava but there was guilt with that relief that he had done something wrong somehow to turn Lonnie and Rath against him.

Maria scoffed, “Jesus, you really are clones aren’t you?” She shook her head and stood from the couch turning away from Zan and Ava. She walked around the back of the couch, stretching her back. “Two people, one of which was your sister, turned their backs on you and went along with a deal with your enemy and somehow it’s your fault?” She turned around placing her hands on the back of the couch and stared at Zan, “you got screwed over and you dealt with it. You took care of your own, you protected your family. You did not force them to make the stupid choices they made and the sooner you get that through your thick, overanalyzing mind the better!”

“She’s right you know.” Liz’s voice had them all turning towards her voice to find her standing in the hallway, leaning against the opening towards the living room. Her eyes connected with Zan. “Max never would have gotten tricked into that granolith if he didn’t still believe.. that it was his fault she turned against him. That somehow he was responsible for her not changing her mission once she met him but instead tricked him into getting her pregnant and planning out almost every detail of our group falling apart. So if you plan on surviving you need to get rid of that bullshit ‘I’m responsible for everything’ chip on your damn shoulder because you’re no good to us dead.” Liz’s voice remained flat throughout her speech until it cracked on her last word. The tears were evident in her eyes before she spun around and walked back down the hallway.

“Liz..” Maria called after her as she hurried to catch up with her.

Isabel looked at Zan, “I don’t know how much you knew about us or my brother but he was a good guy. He tried to be the best man he could be but she’s not wrong. He took everything on his shoulders even when we told him not too. If you feel bad, no one can fault you for that but you did what you had to. I understand if it may take time for you to find trust in us but we’re a family and we protect each other just like you did for Ava. That means that we will smack you upside the head if you start doing something stupid.”

Zan watched Isabel, taking in the emotions that crossed her face as she spoke of his clone. He nodded. “Sounds like Max had something really special before he died. I’m sorry by the way. I know I wasn’t as close to Lonnie as you were with your brother but it still hurt when I found out she died.”

“That’s why I know you’re not like them. I don’t know what went wrong with some of our.. counterparts but apparently something got screwed up in their pods and we’ve had to do the best with the results of their experimental science. We’re still dealing with the people that killed us in that life and we need to know that we have each other as a unit. We don’t need a king.”

“I never wanted to be a king.”

“Neither did my brother but something triggered some of those more annoying qualities.”

Ava smiled, “yeah we shouldn’t have to worry about that. I have no problem keeping him in line.”

Zan turned to Ava, “you have no idea how much I missed you.”

Isabel stood up, trying not to cringe. “I’m just going to go check on Liz and let you two catch up.”

HypnotiqBlueEyes: the truth behind Liz's sightings? Ummm.. maybe. The Winchesters, unfortunately, have some time before they appear. There's some craziness with the group first before they bump into them.. they don't meet them until the apocalypse but I do jump forward a lot.. so it shouldn't feel THAT long.
barbara87413: THANK YOU!! I try to bring that out without having to reveal their entire building process since I'm jumping ahead a bit in chapters and not strolling through with this one.
AvalonRose: It's not so much as seeing them together as it is seeing Zan when she's had these visions of Max. And with trying to push down the memories and pain of his death, it makes it a little harder.

So, I totally forgot that NaNoWriMo was in November. I had always heard of it but didn't actually know what it was until last January and told a friend I'd do it with him. (It's a challenge to write a 50k novel in the month of November.) Of course I forgot until Nov 1st when he asked if I signed up. So.. I started this not realizing that must of my time would be taken up by this challenge. Since I have a couple more chapters of this story already written out, I think I should be able to keep up with once a week posts but I can't promise every week but I promise I will try my best. I will not forget about this story because honestly, my muse wouldn't allow it!





Chapter Five

September 17th, 2005
From: Pixiegrl
To: LParker02
Subject: Where you been?

Hey Lizzie just wanted to send you a quick email before I go to bed. I know you said you'd be busy this week but figured I'd hear from you at some point even if it was just a random text. I miss you chica. Don't roll your eyes at me, text me or call me when you’re free.

Me. (remember your best friend forever and ever?)


September 20th, 2005
From: LParker02
To: Pixiegrl
Subject: RE: Where you been?

Hey Ria,
Sorry I was MIA. Just really loaded down with the major change. I just couldn't be in the lab anymore, not after what happened in Roswell this summer. Dropping a major is pretty much unheard of your senior year of college but luckily I had thoughts about adding to my minor so I have a bunch of classes that help. It's still a lot to take on but because these teachers know me and the recommendations they gave for me helped a lot. I had a lot of reading to do for my first couple of classes which wasn't easy but you know me. Once I set my plan.. Well, I guess that's not true anymore.. But I always loved literature, it'll be good for me.



September 20th, 2005
From: Pixiegrl
To: LessThanAva
Subject: Liz

Hey girl, got an email from Liz but haven't heard from her otherwise. I know you’re just going to say I'm being overprotective but keep an eye on her for me. I'm just getting a vibe I don't like and after this summer I have every right to be worried. We all know she wouldn't be back at school, back at all really, if not for Zan.
Thanks chica. By the way delete this after you read it so Liz doesn't somehow stumble across it. I don’t trust her crazy mojo not to find it and she'd kill me.
~~

Isabel was fidgety as she waited for her interview with her professor. She hadn’t even thought about why he would call her in, all her thoughts were on Liz. Just like they had been for the past few months. The small girl that had become a sister to her hadn’t been as talkative as usual. Isabel still called and when she actually did pick up, she was never really there. Of course she would say all the right things, even laugh at the right moments, but it just seemed hollow. She questioned if she could really hear that or if that was an alien sense screaming for her to pay attention. The one thing she wouldn’t tell anyone was that she had tried to dream walk Liz once and was shoved out so forcefully, it gave her one monster of a migraine. It wasn’t so much the fact that Liz had gained more control and found a few more abilities but the force just wasn’t Liz and she had no idea how to explain it.

Isabel pulled out her phone to check the time. She was early, even though she knew her professor wasn't known for being punctual or even trying to keep to the schedule he created but just because he was lazy was no reason for her to slack on her manners and professionalism. Isabel Evans wouldn't cave to being irresponsible because a man who was supposed to teach others, wasn't. Isabel shook off her frustration as she stared at the screen of her phone. Just behind the bold white numbers was a picture of herself, Maria, and Liz from last winter. They were all smiling at the camera, happy to be together with no idea what was coming in the days ahead. Was that the last time Liz had actually been with them, really with them? The last time Liz actually spoke the truth instead of filtering everything through her mind before speaking carefully picked words?

She opened a text message to Maria and typed quickly then hit send.

September 21st, 2005 10:24am
Hey you hear from Liz today?

Maria
September 21st, 2005 10:27am
No. Still nothing since that email. I sent a message to Ava to keep an eye on her.

September 21st, 2005 10:29am
If Ava and Zan weren't with her there.. I wouldn't have let her go back.

Maria
September 21st, 2005 10:30am
Me either. She was way too reckless that night, we could have lost her.

September 21st, 2005 10:32am
We should have known they would try messing with family to bring us out. There was no way they'd just let us wait them out again.

Maria
September 21st, 2005 10:33am
Do you think they're getting desperate?

September 21st, 2005 10:35am
I don't know. It's not like they're gaining or losing anything. I think they were just pissed that we got one over them last winter.

Maria
September 21st, 2005 10:37am
Yeah and now? What will they do next?

September 21st, 2005 10:38am
I don't know. I think we sent a pretty powerful message this time.

Maria
September 21st, 2005 10:40am
Maybe. But they're still only sending minions. It's easy to keep pushing a war when you’re not leaving the safety of your castle or whatever.

September 21st, 2005 10:42am
I don't know. If they truly didn't see Zan and think Liz healed herself with the power of the granolith that might make them scared of what she could do with it.

Maria
September 21st, 2005 10:43am
Or more intent on getting their hands on it.

Isabel lowered her phone to her lap. She didn’t want to think that way. These people, these monsters were ruthless, disgusting, wastes of energy and to think of the things they had done before. The fact that these people were now setting their sights on an innocent girl, someone they have nothing on except that her brother loved her. Did they really know before that Max had transferred the seal to her? Were the even really after the Granolith or just to torture anyone who harbored their once king? How many people would she have to lose in this lifetime because of enemies from her past one?
~~

October 2005
I've always loved literature even when I felt at home in a lab doing experiments, literature appealed to a deeper part of me. If I had no other area to go besides a laboratory science.. I think I'd be lost. After what they tried to do with my parents.. even if it was just an illusion, it was still something they had thought of doing. After being strapped to that table myself.. being the experiment. Maybe it was because I only saw glimpses of what Max went through in the white room that I didn't fully understand at the time but it's a miracle he was able to step foot into our chemistry lab every day.

Maybe part of it is because they did it in the science room where my love for the field flourished or maybe it's just the fact that they destroyed those memories for me. I guess that was their plan. To chip away at my life to find the cracks to get at me.. I don't know but honestly I don't care. How could I possibly think that I could work as a molecular biologist when I don't know what unforeseen thing could have me dropping everything at a moment's notice? How did I think I could have a normal job.. specially one that would require long hours?

I was a fool to believe I could actually keep that childhood dream in the first place. Yes, I think I still could be a brilliant scientist but what's the point when I wouldn't be able to put my all into it all of the time? Maybe I'm just trying to rationalize the abrupt change or find another excuse for the fact that I can't control my bodies' reaction when I walk into a lab, smell the scents that linger in those rooms and always invigorated me, see the equipment.. the tools of the trade that got me excited to start learning things and solving problems. But now I just smell blood and burnt flesh. I just see tools that were used.. tools that almost ended my life.

But literature.. Literature encompasses it all. Many of my professors were confused even baffled. Science after all seems to be on the opposite spectrum from the dreamers in the Arts building but it's where I needed to go for escape, for solace, for solitude. The all-encompassing realm of love, loss, adventure, betrayal, despair, healing, damnation, and redemption. I'm going to have to work through Christmas break to graduate but that's fine with me. Diving into work was always my way of dealing and honestly I could use a lot of time in solitude busily avoiding the worried glances and concerned eyes that I know will most likely follow me throughout the year.

Max made it through it all because he had to. Because we were all depending on him, well.. he felt we all were. I disappeared to Florida and everyone else just tried to help him get through it but he pulled himself together because he knew they'd be looking to him when the next shoe dropped. He did have a part of him that whispered fears quietly that I would never have him if he was broken, lies that I was able to dispel right before I pushed him away with harsh words to save him, them, all of us. What bullshit that was.. but he pulled himself together, he went on despite the months of nightmares that repeated the events he went through or twisted them to make them worse. After my harshest nightmares, I remember that he went through it too, he got through it without me so I can get through this without him. For him. If I hadn't run.. No I'm not going to play that game. I'll get through this for him and because he survived, so will I. Right?


A knock on the door brought Liz's head up from her journal. Ava poked her head in, "hey. Would you be able to watch a movie tonight or hang out? Just the two of us?"

Liz closed the journal and placed it down on her bed. "I think so. Honestly, If I read any more tonight I think I might go blind. Where’s Zan?"

Ava walked over to Liz's bed, “he had to work.” She sat easily on the edge of the mattress. "I can't believe how much you've already read in such a short time." A soft smile appeared on her face, "you seem to enjoy it though."

Liz grinned, "yeah. I'd much rather drown in stories than equations and..” Her grin faltered, “you know."

Ava's hand landed firmly on Liz's knee. "You know we've got your back, no matter what."

Liz glanced down at her friend’s pale hand and placed her own on top of it as she met her eyes. "I know. It's the only reason I'm still here."

"Liz.."

"No, I mean Harvard here. I wouldn't have come back. Honestly, sometimes it seems so pointless but it's not like I can just hit the road and find those bastards and make them pay. I have.. We have to wait them out. Wait for them to come or give up."

Ava squeezed Liz's hand, "we might have really scared them this time. If they think the Granolith would bring you back from the brink of death. It didn't do that for Max, in two lifetimes. So the idea that a human girl was saved.. it might terrify them. We might be able to just live our lives.."

Liz raised her brow, "you don't really believe that?"

Ava smirked, "I have hope. It's the only reason I kept going, the only reason I agreed to Zan's plan all those years ago. I have hope that one day we can just.. be."

Liz smiled, "I hope your right."

Ava watched her face, saw the smile, felt her hand tighten, but there was something just slightly off. She wasn't exactly sure if Liz was lying but she definitely didn't believe in the words that were coming out of her mouth. Maybe Maria's vibes were right. Ava knew it would take time to recover but now she was slightly afraid her friend was struggling to keep her head above water and it wasn't just because of the nightmares. There was something else. Maybe she needed to talk to Isabel and Maria, she might need more help with her than she thought.

barbara87413: lol the people that can mess with you and then close ranks if someone else tries to.. are the best!
AvalonRose: You'll get a small glimpse of what happened with Liz in this chapter.
HypnotiqBlueEyes: Thanks chika!




Chapter Six

Liz leaned back in the lawn chair that after all these years still adorned her balcony. The warm desert night seemed perfect from her quiet perch. The bright stars filled the sky without any city lights to block their glow. Liz wondered how long she'd stare at the night sky and feel as if she was staring at her enemies, staring at the people that wanted to kill her friends and take away the last thing that Max gave her. Maybe it was just because it was a part of him, maybe not but she would fight to the bitter end to make sure Max's dying wish was carried out.

Some noise in the alleyway distracted her thought process and she tried to ignore it until she heard it again, louder. Another crash, something being thrown against a dumpster, maybe a fight. She rolled her eyes as she got up from her chair, hoping it was just two punks and she could easily give them a scare or push from her balcony without being seen. She glanced over the balcony but there was nothing below. It was hard to see with only a few lights back there but the noise had stopped as well, as if they knew she was looking. She shook her head, that couldn't be possible. But then the hairs on the back of her neck stood up and she felt a flash of pain. She grabbed her head closing her eyes as a flash of light lit up behind her eyelids until a picture formed. Her parents being drug through halls, halls filled with lockers and then pulled into a room. The vision flickered out and she was moving even though her head and stomach were still rolling.

She went through her window and through the apartment without stopping, knowing her parents were supposed to be closing the restaurant. She ran down the stairs screaming for her parents then into the back room and finally into the empty restaurant. She spun wildly, looking around at nicely stacked chairs and clean tables. No sign of a struggle. She walked back into the back room and opened the door to the alleyway, she looked around finding what she thought she would, crates and trash. She ran her hands through her hair trying to calm her breathing and think. She closed her eyes and thought about the vision, had it been a premonition? Were they being drug through those halls right now? She knew those halls with their neat rows of lockers and stupid posters. Roswell high school. She ran back inside and grabbed her phone and the keys to her parent’s car that were still sitting on the kitchen counter in the apartment.

She got in the car and hit a speed dial button without looking. Once Maria's voice came over the line she interrupted her, "they have my parents. I'm going after them."

"What? Liz slow down, where are you? Where are they?"

"The high school, I'm going to get them back Maria." Maria's voice was going a mile a minute on the other end of the line but Liz had already lowered the phone then flipped it shut.

Within no time, Liz had arrived at the school and easily gotten inside. She roamed the halls quietly and quickly, searching for anything that would give her a clue. Suddenly, she felt the pain in her head again then the flash behind her eyelids. Her mother's piercing screams rang out and bounced around inside her head as the image of her strapped to a science table as a row of Bunsen burners had flames flaring against her skin. The image flickered out and Liz pushed ahead swallowing the vomit in her throat.

She turned towards the science wing and moved faster, keeping her eyes and ears open for any movement. She heard a rustling in a room only two doors down and realized what it was, her old chemistry class. They couldn't possibly know that, could they? She strolled confidently into the room but was met with nothing. The room was dark just like the others and nothing seemed out of place except for the table in the middle of the room. She scanned the room then moved slowly towards the empty table. She laid her hand down hoping she wouldn't get a glimpse of what she had seen in the hallway but nothing happened. "What the hell?" Had it not happened yet? Could she still stop it?

She turned and jumped, seeing her old chemistry teacher walking towards her. "Liz Parker? What are you doing here?"

Liz felt like that girl in high school again, in trouble for being late or losing time staring at or touching Max during class. "I.."

He moved towards her, "you shouldn't be here when it's dark out."

That snapped Liz back to the present. "You shouldn't be here at all. It's the summer."

He grinned, "well.. you know, summer school."

"I didn't know summer school had night classes." Liz started to swing up her arm but felt herself pushed back, her feet leaving the floor and her back hitting the table. She felt something push down on her entire body, pressing her into the top of the table.

Her old chemistry teacher strolled towards the table, grinning down at her. "We do and class is just about to begin."

Liz struggled to move as his eyes roamed over her body. He walked around the table, pulled something out from underneath then began placing a cool metal over her ankles. She felt the metal melt and then harden painfully. He walked up the side of the table and placed two more of the metal pieces, one on each wrist. "There, now I don't need to use too much energy on keeping you in place."

Liz glared into the eyes of the man that taught her through high school and knew he was either no longer there or was no longer in control. "It was all a trick? A lie?"

He smiled, "why would I waste my talents on someone like your mother when I can have you?"

"And what's so great about me?"

He cackled loudly, "you are a feisty one!" The malicious grin fell back in place, "I'm extremely curious at how you tick, my pet. To think the once proud king chose a human as his new queen. You humans are so.. easily led and.." A scalpel appeared in his hand as it came up from the table, "easily bled."
She felt the instrument slid across her arm but bit her tongue to keep her screaming.

His eyes sparkled. "I've heard you’re rather tough for a windbag species. There's no armor of any kind except for this soft, smooth, unprotected skin layer." She heard the rip of fabric and felt the cooler air against the skin of her stomach. She watched his hand come up into her view, the scalpel shined in the small light from outside then down it went towards her rib cage. His eyes stared into hers as it pierced the skin just below her breast, she closed her eyes fighting the pain but when she felt the sharp knife press deeper hitting the bone of one of her ribs, she screamed.

"Your threshold for pain is quite remarkable but still no shape for a queen. You humans are so easily manipulated and broken! You’re weak. You wouldn't last a day on Antar of any of the surrounding planets. You'd be nothing but a burden and liability." He brought the scalpel up to his eye for inspection as if he could read more in her blood. "How one tiny, frail human could possibly control the Granolith is completely beyond my understanding. How depressing. Such a waste." He brought the sharp blade back down against her skin, applying pressure as he slid it down from her rib cage and alongside her belly button as she screamed. He stopped and looked into her eyes, "so let's open you up and see if there's any clues to why the king choose such a frail human for his queen, shall we?"

He placed the scalpel down on the table then she felt his hands on her skin, felt the blood flowing from the incision he made then overwhelming, blinding pain as his fingers pushed inside the incision. Her screams pierced her ears then she felt herself pulled into a merciful oblivion.


Liz woke with a piercing scream and her old Chemistry teacher dissolved into Ava's worried face in front of her. She could see her lips moving but couldn't hear a word coming from them. She felt something cool pressed to her forehead and drank in the relief it gave her. She could hear her blood pounding in her veins, her head, and echoing in her ears. She still felt the sticky warm blood on open wounds that had long since been closed, still felt the pain pulsing from the cut and bruised flesh.

Ava’s calm, soothing voice started to seep through the pounding in her head. “You’re in our apartment in Boston, where you’re a senior at Harvard. You’re safe, Liz. It’s December, you love December.”

Liz cracked open her mouth and whispered, “it’s 2005.”

Ava nodded with a relieved smile. “Do you want to talk about it?” Ava's voice still seemed so far away.

Liz stared into her friend’s eyes and cried. Heavy sobs poured from her as Ava's arms wrapped around her tightly. Ava didn't give the empty promises of ‘it will be okay, just give it time’. She simply held her knowing no words could make it better or take away the pain. She knew nothing could make it go away. She just needed time and a friend to hold her through it. Hopefully.

But there was a small part of her that was worried maybe there was something else wrong. Maybe the hallucinations of Max were just an early warning sign and they had no idea what form of alien sickness she could possibly have. What the hell did they know about human and alien DNA colliding like it had been with her? What did they really know about surviving the type of thing she did? Could this be some sort of PTSD or was it just something to lump into a bigger problem? She couldn’t simply ignore this anymore. She had to call in the others, they needed to be here because she was afraid she wasn’t enough anymore.
~~

The next day, Ava found Isabel and Maria banging on the apartment door. “What are you guys doing here?”
Maria followed Isabel into the apartment, “we got your message.”

Ava raised her brow, “the message I left this morning because neither of you were answering your cell phones?”

Isabel turned to Ava, “we were already on a plane. Something didn’t feel right and Liz hasn’t been returning our calls. We got your message when we landed.” Isabel’s eyes were wandering around the apartment. “Where is she so I can smack some sense into her?”

Ava said, “she’s taking a shower.” Ava led them into the kitchen where they sat at the small table with drinks and talked while waiting for Liz to make her appearance.

Maria started getting fidgety after fifteen minutes and couldn’t ignore the nagging feeling that something wasn’t right. She stood from the table and headed for the hallway, “I’ll just check on her.” Maria stopped at the bathroom door and heard the water still running but all she pictured in her mind was Liz sitting in the tub folded in on herself as the cold water rained down on her. She had found her in that position too many times after Max’s death. She opened the door, a little surprised that it wasn’t locked and stepped in announcing herself, “I’m here Liz.” She pulled back the shower curtain and immediately her eyes were drawn to the blood flowing down the tub to the drain. Liz was sitting in the tub with bright red slashes on her wrists. Maria screamed as she rushed forward gathering her friend in her arms. Tears ran down her face as she tried to press as hard as she could on the angry cuts.

Isabel and Ava crashed into the room quickly taking in the scene. Ava fell to her knees in front of Maria slapping her hands over Liz’s wrists. Maria could feel the warmth pass through her hands and looked Ava in the eyes. Ava didn’t have to say a word for Maria to know she had closed the open wounds as much as she could. Ava’s words were shaky, “Liz could heal it but I don’t know if she will.”

“Where’s Zan?” Isabel’s voice was controlled and completely calm.

Ava glanced up at her, the only remaining one of them standing. “My phone.. it’s in the kitchen on the counter. He’s at work but if you tell him to come, he’ll know it’s an emergency.”
~~

Liz woke up a few hours later and found Maria at her bedside. Her head was lying on the mattress beside Liz’s legs and her long blonde highlighted hair had fallen in front of her face. Liz shifted carefully not to disturb her but she knew she failed when Maria’s head rose slowly. Maria looked into her eyes with a mixture of pain and pity or worry, she honestly couldn’t tell the difference. Liz felt the moisture building in her eyes and before she could control it, the tears rolled down her face. “I fight and fight but it’s all my fault, Maria.”

Maria’s face twisted in confusion, “what are you talking about Lizzie?”

“They’re dead and that’s on me. All I do is screw things up! How am I supposed to protect this artifact when I don’t even know how! Nothing I do will change anything except get you all killed before your time!”
Maria tried to interrupt her, “Liz.”

“I wanted revenge so badly but they are light years away Maria. What the hell am I doing? The world is still going to end and it's all my fault!” Tears ran down Maria’s face as she watched, “why couldn’t you just let me go?”

Isabel strode into the room and laid a hand on Liz’s forehead. Liz stared up at her, “I’m so sorry Isabel. You shouldn’t have lost them both.”

Isabel gave her a watery smile, “I’m sorry too.”

Liz’s face twisted for a moment before it smoothed out and her head fell back to the pillow. Isabel looked at Maria, “we need to let her sleep. It’s too raw right now.”

Maria nodded as she wiped her face. “I thought.. I thought she got past that, you know?”

Isabel glanced back at Liz, “I don’t think that’s something you ever get over.” Isabel looked closer at Maria, “maybe you should get some sleep. I’ll take over here.”

Maria nodded and stood from the chair. She looked at Liz again before she went out the door and started for the living room. She felt the vibration in her pocket and pulled out her phone. Five missed calls, all from Michael. “Shit.” Maria pressed his speed dial number as she dropped herself on the couch.

“Where the hell are you?!”

“Sorry Michael. It’s just been a really long day.”

“Yeah no shit! I get this crazy message from Ava and then I can’t find my damn girlfriend! What the hell were you thinking not..”

“Michael, it’s Liz.”

“What?”

Maria quickly summarized her day of her and Isabel’s last minute decision to finding Liz and Zan fixing her up.
“Shit. Damnit! I thought she was better.”

“We all wanted to believe that.”

“She wasn't like she was before.. Son of a.. she promised me!"

"What?"

"This wasn't the first time."

"WHAT?"

"She promised me.. Why do you think I got into the fighting combat crap with her? I wanted to make sure she wasn't just trying to get someone else to do the job for her."

"Michael."

"It was alcohol.. mixed with some pills."

"And when the hell was this?! Why didn't you tell me?! I never would have let her go.."

Michael interrupted her, "that's exactly why she told me I had to keep my mouth shut because if you and Isabel got on her back more she'd just feel more claustrophobic and she'd never get past it. Maria, I'm not saying that I completely agreed with her but she made some valid points. I told her if I saw anything that made it seem like she was going to do something stupid, I’d tell everyone."

Maria took a few deep breathes so she wouldn't reach through the phone and strangle him. "Michael, when was this?"

"Senior year. Right before finals. She was at my apartment rambling about how pointless finals were when the world was going to end because of her. I thought it was just alcohol at first but she was really out of it. I gave her a glass of eggs and told her it was.. orange juice. I thought the protein would help and it did."

"She threw up all over your table, didn't she?"

"Yeah.."

"That's when you got that new table. I always thought there was something else to that."

"How is she now?"

"Well, she was mumbling about how pointless it is. It’s all her fault that they're dead and the world is doomed. Same old."

"I'm on my way. I need to talk to her."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, she promised me remember? If she wants to play on the guilt train then I can play the same game."

"Michael.."

"We're still here, Maria. She needs to be reminded of that. I kept a promise for her and she blew it in my face. How the hell would I have felt knowing she killed herself after making me promise not to tell anyone about last time?"

"Okay but.. we need to be gentle with her."

"That's what she's expecting from you. I'm not the same. If she wants someone to kick her ass, I'll be the one to do it."

"I'll see you soon." Maria hung up the phone and glanced back towards Liz’s room. She stretched herself out on the couch, thankful for her small stature. She closed her eyes and told herself she needed to get to sleep if she was going to be any help to Liz but sleep wouldn’t come.

HypnotiqBlueEyes,barbara87413: Don't worry, Michael won't give up and neither will the rest of the group.


Chapter Seven

Michael and Kyle arrived around noon the next day, filling the already small, cramped apartment. Ava and Isabel had tossed around ideas of getting a couple motel rooms nearby but Ava decided to ask a few of their friends in the apartment building if they could give some of the group a place to crash. She knew Josh was heading home for the holidays anyway and thought a few others might be as well. She knew josh would jump at the chance to do anything for Liz and hoped that she and Liz had gained enough trust with a few of their neighboring friends. She thought even just Josh’s place would be enough but it wouldn’t hurt to ask.

After getting a good look at Michael, Isabel took Kyle for a walk to fill him in on everything that Michael might’ve left out from the past couple of days which she figured was probably a lot. She knew that brooding look all too well, he was pissed but it was mainly out of concern for his friend and he was having a hard time figuring out how he should deal with it. Isabel knew he and Liz became close after Max died, whether Michael felt it was his duty or if he was genuinely concerned for his best friend’s soul mate or his soul mate’s best friend. Either way, Liz had become like a sister to him just like she had to her. She still had a hard time thinking about the way they had treated Liz in the beginning, so terrified to let her in and now they were terrified to let her go.

Maria and Zan took stock of the kitchen then decided to head out on a food run leaving Michael alone to watch Liz. Maria hesitantly closed the front door behind her with a final look at a very quiet Michael sitting stiffly on the couch and said a quick prayer that everything was going to be okay.

Once Michael heard the door close and the lock click into place, he stood from the couch and started pacing in the living room. His mind was pure chaos. He wanted to hit something but knew that could make things worse instead of better. Liz knew better than to go back on her word but had she even thought about it? Had she thought about that time all those years ago when she tried taking the coward’s way out? He remembered this past summer, knew how much it affected her but he never thought.. no that’s wasn’t true. He didn’t leave her for a week because he was terrified she might try it again. Losing someone the way she did was completely different from what she had survived. He had flashbacks of Max after his time in the white room the entire week and could barely sleep himself. When he did sleep, he either woke because of her screams or nightmares of Max’s screams.

He heard Maria’s voice in his head telling him they needed to be gentle with her, they needed to give her time. But wasn’t that what he had been giving her? Letting her breath and try to forget? The only thing she seemed to forget was that they were still there and that she had made him a promise. She promised she would talk to them before it got this bad, before it got to this point again. She promised she’d talk to someone if not to him. He was always there for her, they all were but obviously she didn’t remember that, she forgot who she’d be leaving behind to pick up all the pieces, again.

Michael walked into her room and found her lying motionless in her bed, her face turned towards the window in a quiet stare. "Can you walk?" His voice was calm and even.

Liz glanced towards him, "probably. I'm not an invalid."

"Fine, come with me." Michael turned and walked out of the room then popped his head back in to see her sliding out of bed. “You'll probably want a jacket or hoodie and some shoes. We need to talk outside."

Liz pulled her Harvard hoodie over her head and stuck her feet into her sneaks sitting nicely on the floor at the end of her bed. She walked down the hall noticing the lack of noise in the apartment. She found Michael leaning against the front door, arms crossed over his chest. He looked up at her. "Wasn't sure you would come."

"Why not?"

He raised his eyebrow then turned and opened the door, gesturing for her to go out. They walked down the stairs then out the main door. He looked around then glanced at her and Liz led him around to the back of the apartment building. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Are you joking?"

She turned to face him and took in his defensive stance. "Do I sound like I'm joking?"

Michael took the first swing and Liz dodged it easily, a small smirk on her lips. "Really?" He swung again and she threw her arm up to block it. “Someone’s getting rusty.”

“Do you remember the promise you made?” He twisted her arm that blocked his punch behind her back, spinning her backwards towards him. She kicked out her leg, knocking him back and loosening her arm.

"It's been a long time and this wasn't like that."

"Oh because you used a different method?" She threw a quick one, two punch combo and he caught both fists and pulled her closer, "or because you were closer to succeeding this time?"

She sneered in his face, "like you have any idea what I'm going through this time." She kicked at his shin but he shoved her away.

"Right because that's a great reason for checking out and leaving us to pick up your pieces." They both stood in defensive postures as they stared at each other.

"I'm not him, Michael."

He took a step towards her, "no one expects you to be."

"No? They're not looking at me for what I’ll do next? They're not terrified I’m going to fail them just like Max?" She ran at him throwing punches at his chest. This time he stood silent and let her rain them down. "Just because he survived the white room doesn't mean I can survive this! It's constantly there! Eyes closed or open.. never letting me forget!” Her voice started to crack as her breathing became erratic. “Never letting me sleep!"

He grabbed her shoulders as her fists started landing softer and slower. She looked up at him with haunted, broken eyes. His voice was soft but strong, “Max survived the white room because of you and because of us. He dealt with nightmares that I had to shake him out of more times than I can count. He didn't survive whole and you know it. That changed him but he wasn't alone. He was never alone. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you for so long. You don't have to do this by yourself, we aren't expecting you to just pick yourself up and dust off the dirt and grime this time. We know it'll take more and that's why we're all here. We felt you backing off, cutting us off even without Ava's call. I told you I would always be here, damn it! And you didn't keep up your end of the bargain!"

The tears fell down her face, "you can't understand, Michael."

He gave her one good shake. "Then let me understand. Show me. Give me some of it."

Her eyes widened and she shook her head, "no.. I can't."

"You think what you went through is worse than what I make up in my dreams? I saw glimpses of what Max went through and your.. handler was from my neck of the woods and I have no doubt he was more creative." His face hardened as hers went white. "If you don't want to show me then you have to let us help.. one of us. You can't keep using that couldn't understand line because believe me the thoughts that we have from what we saw.." He gazed into her watery stare with his own haunted eyes, “I saw what was left of you before Zan cleaned you up.. before he pulled you back from the brink. I carried you out of that room because I didn’t trust anyone to be gentle enough or to be able to protect you more than I could even though I was punishing myself for what I saw. I promised you that nothing would happen to you after Max. That I would make sure of it.”

“That wasn’t your job, Michael. I’m not your charge!”

His voice rose for the first time, “it should’ve been me, Damn it! I failed Max and I failed you!”

Her hands shot up to his head, her palms pressed against his temples and she closed her eyes. Michael felt himself pulled in quickly and flashes flickered instantly but something seemed to be pulsing in her head drawing him away from the images she forced into his mind’s eye. He tried to ignore the images and focus on what seemed to be screaming for his attention like a red flag but he couldn't quite reach it then he felt her shove him out. He opened his eyes, only then realizing he had closed them in the first place, to find her staring at him with an unreadable face.

"You could never take my place Michael, they didn’t want you and they wouldn’t have made any exceptions."

All he could think about was the pulsing, the feeling that he needed to get someone with better understanding of the internal stuff to look into it. His gaze connected with hers, "there's something.. something’s not right. We need to get Zan and you have to do what you just did with him. Something's wrong, Liz."

“It can’t be erased.”

“No, you don’t understand. It’s not the memories, it’s something else. I just don’t know what. I’m not good at that stuff.”

“What stuff?”

“The brain stuff.. all the internal stuff. We need Zan.”
~~

Zan walked out of Liz's room, waited for Ava to follow him then closed the door behind them. They walked into the living room and caught the worried, expectant gazes of their friends. Zan walked to an open chair and sat heavily. He looked at Michael, "how the hell did you catch that?"

Isabel jumped ahead. "What was it?"

Ava came back into the room and handed Zan a can of root beer. "We've never seen or heard of anything like it."

Zan shook his head, "that's not exactly true." No one said a word, just waited anxiously for Zan to finish his drink to explain. "I heard of something like it. A punishment on our planet, like a slap on the wrist but more severe so you never forgot the rule you broke. But this was.. way beyond that. It was attached to the part of her brain that contains her memories but it was.. how do I explain this? It was dialed up so high that it.. forced only certain memories and somehow triggered it to heighten certain feelings." He scrubbed his hands roughly down his face.

"What the hell does that mean?" Maria asked.

Zan looked at her, "imagine someone forced you to sit in a movie theater with your worst memories on repeat then pumped you full of drugs that made you feel like it would not only never end but would never end because of you." His eyes fell to his hands, "honestly I'm surprised she lasted this long with that set that high all these months.”

Michael ran his hand through her hair. "Jesus Christ, she does that enough on her own."

Isabel's eyes widened. "They found her weakness and jacked it up by a million so it would be inescapable."

Zan looked to Michael, "this technology.. It's nothing we would have known to look for. Hell usually it's basically undetectable. It's attached to the brain and then once the sentence is up it just dissolves. If you hadn't seen or felt it.."

Maria whispered, "one day we wouldn't have been able to catch her in time." She looked at Michael, "how..?"

He shrugged, "hell if I know! I told her if she wanted to keep throwing around the ‘you don't understand’ bullshit she should just show me because it couldn't be worse than what I imagined. Then I just saw something pulsing, like screaming at me while she was shoving images at me. I barely noticed the images because the pulsing was.. I don’t know.. ordering me to pay attention."

Ava wondered aloud, "do you think the Granolith did it? She couldn't get past it so it reached out to the first person to connect with her?"

Isabel said, "as good as any theory we could come up with because honestly, who the hell knows? I'm just happy we found it. It's bad enough the crap she puts herself through. We don't need anything helping her along.”

Kyle's face remained hard as stone and just as unreadable, "the plan wasn't to kill her. They wanted to do as much damage as they could, dish out enough pain while keeping her just on the brink to see how long she'd last but also give her more than enough to haunt her with this device. But why the games?"

Zan scanned Kyle's features as he mulled over Kyle's theory catching the tension in his muscles, the tightness of his jawline. It still amazed him that humans were so intimately involved with the other group and so invested in a fight that was not their own. "Maybe it wasn't just a test for her but also the Granolith."

Everyone seemed to lean towards him as the thought left his mouth and fully developed in his mind. "When we were killed in our previous life, I had just been given the seal. I barely had time to learn about the Granolith let alone make a connection with it. When Max left for Antar with Tess, I know he didn't know much about it and even if he did.. It had just used up a lot of energy to take them back. If I were dealing with an enemy that I knew had something like the Granolith and had years of a connection with it like Liz has.. I'd want to see how it would intervene or if my enemy could control it without touching it specially someone who wasn't one of our kind. I don't know if they wouldn't have killed her, thanks to the crap we dealt with getting in there he had hours to push her and see if the Granolith would do anything to protect her or if she could invoke its power."

Maria said, "so maybe they do think the Granolith finally intervened, if Ava's warp worked and they didn't see you."

Zan simply nodded.

Isabel jumped up from the couch, her normal controlled demeanor completely gone as she wrung her hands and started pacing. “God! Why can’t they just leave us alone? Why can't we ever catch a break?”

Kyle glanced towards the hallway that led to the bedrooms and broke the silence. "I think we just did. We got to her in time. We found this thing and got rid of it. She’s going to be okay."

Isabel turned her watery eyes to Kyle, “after everything she’s been through? How could she ever just be okay?”

Ava walked to Isabel and rubbed her hands up and down her arms, sending waves of soothing energy. “This is Liz we’re talking about. We give her a goal, graduation is coming up. We give her time and we give her support. She knows we are here for her. You guys dropped everything and rushed here on a bad vibe and a phone call. Yes, it will take time and we might still have to deal with bullshit from our enemies but for now, it’s up to us to make sure Liz is okay.” Ava guided Isabel back to the couch and sat her next to Kyle. “We let her know that she can be okay and hopefully at some point she can be happy again.” She dropped down in front of her, “you guys showed me what family is and what they will do for those they love. We can do this for her.”

Sorry this was a little late, my boys got sick this past week and I didn't get much writing done at all but I was able to edit this quickly this morning to get it up today before we leave for my brother's place. Hopefully there are no big typos or something I missed..
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! [BTW, anyone see the new Supernatural this week? Oh, Dean Winchester.. you have such a way with words. ]

barbara87413,HypnotiqBlueEyes,AvalonRose,Twilighteyes: Delighted to please! The Winchesters will be arriving shortly, I've been working on those chapters but there is a few more with the pod squad. I didn't realize how much of this story would be focusing on Liz's pre-Dean time but I really like how it's shaping up. Can't wait to post it for you! Thanks so much for sticking it out with me even though my posts aren't as frequent this month! You guys are one hell of a support system and I love you for it! All the readers and lurkers too!!




Chapter Eight

June 15th, 2006

The past couple of months have been very.. enlightening to say the least. I’ve learned things about my enemies, my friends, and most of all, myself. It took some time to get myself together after learning once again how low I’m willing to sink to make the pain go away. Finding out how dirty our enemies are willing to play ended up having a good side and a bad side. Yes, it sparked that determination deep inside me to see them pay for what they’ve done but I also know it needs to be more than that. After Max, that’s all that was in my head, revenge for what they did to him, revenge for what they did to his family, for what they did not just to me but to us. They found a way to twist that into such a sharp focus that all I thought about was what they did, all the fallout, and how it was my fault.

These people have been ruining lives since way before us, at least those of us from earth. These people have started wars under false pretenses to get what they want, have allowed injustices to continue because they don’t have the balls to admit they were wrong or even that they were involved at all. These people have had their hands in the destruction of who knows how many planets before they started ruining my life and will ultimately try to ruin my planet. If it takes a small earth girl to finally bring them down then so be it. I just have to keep in mind this is far bigger than me, than us. I have to remind myself it's because I may have the one thing that can stop them. Max may not have known it at the time but he gave me that.

I always knew they would stop at nothing to either get their hands on the Granolith or destroy it, if that was at all possible. I know that because of future Max, our lives ended in that other timeline because Khivar brought the war to Earth and destroyed everything for the Granolith. I had no idea just what they would do to reach their goal and just like Michael thought, they are way more creative than any of us could imagine. Maybe I should be flattered that they felt the need to test me or the Granolith, maybe I should take that as a sign that they are afraid of me but I find myself completely detached from it. I’ll take that as a win this time because some things are meant buried so deep that they are practically forgotten.

And my friends.. my family. I know I’ve been thankful for them before, although there was a tinge of anger burning underneath the reason we were bonded together so tightly that always seemed to taint it. Now, I’ve learned that something like that doesn’t matter in the end. Whatever it was that brought us together, no matter whether the bond was forged with a fire that was good or bad, it still created something strong, something resilient, something unmistakably good and beautiful. I have a group of people around me that no matter how hard I push away, they will always have my back, will always be there to pick me up, smack me around, and let me know just how badly I screwed up. I have a family that will never let me forget just how much they care about me, whether I like that or not. I could never be more thankful that I have these people in my life and, for better or worse, always will. I just pray that it's for the better of everyone. Now, it’s my job to make sure that I never forget that again. Not that they'd let me forget it anyway. I know I'll still have my bad days but hopefully I'll never forget what they mean to me and that will hopefully remind me what I mean to them.

Which is number one of my list about myself. There have been times where I just wanted to run, to get away from everything and while that’s not bad in itself but the fact that some of those times I’ve actually thought of leaving them behind forever, even if my intentions were good- I thought they would be better off- I know now what I would really be doing to them. Just as much as I need them, they need me because we are bonded as a group. They told me how insane it was that I lasted so long with that device jacked up so high to drive me mad, but I know it wasn’t because of my strength that I lasted so long. It was my pride that I would never get my revenge that I lasted as long as I did. I was shoving it in their faces by picking myself up and continuing on a path to graduate. I wasn’t doing any of that for myself but to kick dirt in their face which is just about as meaningful as a scolding note left on their car- it does nothing. I know that if I let them affect me to the point where I’m not doing things for myself than they’ve already won, at least part of the war. I’m just too stubborn to give them even that much and now that I clearly see that, I can move on and work on the things that help me and mine instead of just handing them my damn life with a messy red bow.

Now, I just need to make sure I keep my head because I may not be the one they come for next. I can't just hope that they didn't learn anything through their experiments on me and I can't ignore the fact that they lured me there with a vision that they were hurting my parents. Next time, it may not be a trick and they know it’s not just my parents that would pull at me. I need to get ahead of them. I need to get the group somewhere safe for a while so I can get my shit completely together and so we can get our asses in gear. I don't think they're just going to back down now and I don't have the luxury to pretend they aren't planning their next attack.



July 2006
Liz and Ava walked slowly through the streets of Boston enjoying the warm summer night on their way back from the gun range. “You know, I think it’s interesting that you have a hard time aiming a gun when you can aim perfectly with just the palm of your hand.”

“Yeah well, my hand doesn’t jerk back at me.”

Liz chuckled, “I guess.”

Ava shoved Liz playfully before she felt the shiver slice up her spine. She glanced at Liz without skipping a step or pausing and noticed she wasn’t the only one who felt it. Someone was watching them. Her mind quickly raced to the last conversation Liz had with Larek. From his end, he didn’t see any plans as of yet to go back to Roswell. Maybe that’s because they had planned to go to them instead of waiting for their group to converge on Roswell again. “So, have you thought any more about what we should do the rest of this summer?”

Liz was carefully scanning the area trying to pinpoint the feeling. “Actually, I’ve been looking into maybe going overseas. All of us. We could use the break.”

Ava was staring at the mouth of an upcoming alley. “Overseas huh?”

Ava sent Liz a look and she nodded, “yeah. Always wanted to and never got the chance. Can’t say this isn’t the perfect time.”

They crossed the alley but nothing happened. They kept up their pace paying more attention to their surroundings than the first half of their walk. Liz started wondering if they should go around another way instead of lead whoever it was back to the apartment but then scratched the idea knowing there was too high of a chance that they would catch on. If they found them here, wouldn’t they already know where they were staying? “You want to hit up the pub?”

Ava threw her a glance with a smirk, “when have I turned down a pub crawl?”

Liz chuckled, “who said anything about a crawl? I was talking about one drink.”

Ava laughed then felt another spike up her spine. Her eyes darted to the left catching the shadows on the other side of the street. There were plenty of dark places in Boston but not along this particular street. The street lights above them started to flicker and they glanced at each other, moving closer out of instinct.

“Hey girls. Out a little late, don’t ya think?” A deep voice behind them made them jump.

Ava quirked her lip at the unmistakable fake swagger from the kind of douchebag that big cities couldn’t avoid. “Seriously? Who the hell do you think you are? Move along scrub, we don’t need anything you’re pedaling.”

Liz hid her grin at the surprise in his eyes then tensed her muscles when she noticed the slow change to a menacing grin.

“Well, good thing I didn’t come alone then huh?” The smirk lifted the corner of his mouth as he started towards them.

Liz glanced around and didn’t see anyone else but then she didn’t see him. She felt him. She tried keeping her eyes on the twenty something scruffy guy slowly inching his way towards them and tried to feel out the other he spoke of. They stood their ground with confidence.

“You two think you’re tough huh?”

Ava smirked, “try us. If you and your invisible friend aren’t afraid of two small girls like us.”

Liz felt the darkness behind her only a moment before the hand slammed down and gripped her shoulder. The next second, she felt herself flying through the air only to be stopped by the thick trunk of a tree. She was up in a second with the gun from her ankle holster in her hand and started moving back towards Ava catching her glance towards her. “I’m good!” She yelled as she ran. Ava’s hand came up just as the first man reached her and she heard the man’s scream as Ava’s hand connected with his chest. The second man was heading for Liz and she aimed her gun putting two rounds in his chest.

“What the hell are you?” The man standing in front of Ava grunted out.

Liz reached Ava’s side as she replied, “what the hell are you?”

The other man got off the ground and started towards them. Liz’s mouth gaped as she watched him move as if two bullets hadn’t just ripped through his chest. “What the..”

The man raised his hand and flicked his wrist, throwing both girls off their feet and into the grass beside them. “That stung, you little bitch.”

The first man stared, “at least you didn’t get fucking burned from the inside. What the hell is that one?”

Liz watched as they both descended upon them. “What about this?” Liz raised her hand and flung both of them away then jumped to her feet with Ava and started to run in the opposite direction. “What are they? Do you think they actually sent more aliens here?”

Ava shook her head, “I have no idea. Definitely not a skin, those bullets should have ripped a skin up, even if it didn’t cause their husk to explode.”

Liz and Ava skidded to a stop as they turned a corner and found the first man walking towards them from the middle of the alley. Liz threw up her hand and sent a shot of electricity. The man grimaced as it hit him but kept coming. “What the f..”

“GET DOWN!” A gruff voice from behind them had them spinning around and then ducking at the sight of the shotgun. They covered their ears just before the shot rang out. Liz heard the Latin flowing from the older man’s mouth flawlessly and then the roar from behind them where their attacker was. She turned her head to see the man stumbling towards them obviously affected by the words and whatever was in the shotgun that left the man’s skin steaming.

“You can have them!” Their attacker screamed before black smoke shot out of the man’s mouth and slithered off into the sky.

Liz and Ava stared wide eyed, crouched on the ground as the man’s body crumbled to the street. Liz stood and turned slowly when she heard the boots coming towards them. The man held the shotgun slack at his side pointing towards the ground as he made his way towards them. “You two okay?”

The other attacker jumped out of nowhere behind their helper and wrapped his arms around the man's neck. "You're getting slow in your old age, grandpa."

Liz jumped into action immediately, throwing her palm up as she moved towards them. She focused, sending a strong, concentrated burst of air at the attacker's head tinged with electricity. It shocked the thing enough to give their helper an upper hand. He turned and shot the attacker with his gun then started with the Latin. Just as his friend before him, he stared at the middle aged man then black smoke shot out of its mouth leaving a crumpled body behind.

Liz looked up from the body and took in the bearded man’s trucker hat and well-worn flannel. He reminded her of one of her kooky history professors but still not exactly the normal style one would see around the university area of Boston. She heard Ava behind her, “who are you and what the hell was that?”
“We should get out of here, gun shots aren’t exactly something people brush off.” The flannel clad man turned and made his way out of the alley. Liz and Ava followed still on high alert. Liz briefly wondered if Ava was playing dumb or if she was really curious if this guy knew the alien that just attacked them. Did he know what kind of alien could do that? Could he be an alien hunter? Did he see her use her powers?

“You two held your own pretty well.” Liz raised her brow and the old man glanced back, “just trying to give you a compliment kid.” He stopped in front of an old Chevelle and slid his shot gun through the open window placing it on the backseat. “You two okay?”

Ava answered, “yes. Now you answer our questions.”

He pulled a flask from an inside pocket of his flannel overshirt, “no offense but just to be sure. Can you put out your hands?” Both girls glanced at each other and then held out their hands.

"What is it?" Liz asked as she watched the man splash some of the flask's contents on their hands.

He tucked the flask back in its pocket, seemingly satisfied with the non-reaction. “A lot of questions." He pointed to their hands, "holy water." Then he crossed his arms over his chest, "most call me Bobby and that was a demon. Holy water burns the skin when you’re possessed by one.”

Ava’s brow rose. “A demon? As in Hellraiser, we are legion demon?”

“Yeah, just without all the leather.” His eyes moved to Liz, “what was that little display of yours?”

Liz dropped her eyes and rubbed her hands together. Play dumb or give an equally crazy answer? The man just told her he shot a demon.

“Let me guess, you always felt a little different and then one day found yourself able to do things that didn’t make sense?”

Liz’s eyes shot up to Bobby’s face, “what?”

Bobby smiled softly, “I’ve met a few psychics in my time kid. It’s not as uncommon as you think and it’s easy to spot in someone who doesn’t know how to explain it.”

Ava cracked a smile, “this coming from a man who claims to have just.. what? Exercised a demon?”

“That wasn’t exercised, yes I tried but that was a demon getting away and leaving the poor schmuck’s body he possessed. You two don’t seem too freaked by the idea.”

Ava put out her hand, “the name’s Ava and we’ve seen some weird things in our lifetime.”

Bobby shook her hand, “glad I could help with this one.”

Liz followed Ava, holding out her hand. “Liz Parker. Recent graduate of Harvard.”

Bobby shook her hand, “Bobby Singer. Salvage yard owner and part time hunter.”

Ava chuckled. “Bobby Singer, Demon Hunter?”

“It doesn’t pay the bills.”

“Sorry.”

Liz interrupted, “sorry. It’s just still a shock that demons are real, let alone people who hunt them.”

Bobby gave her a look, one that made her feel like he didn't quite believe her shock or her line but didn't call her on it. It reminded her of her father and his way of making her feel so disappointed in herself that he didn't even have to punish her for the whole ordeal to be seared in her brain. Instead of calling her out, he pulled a card out of his back pocket and handed it to them. “You come across anything like this again, weird or weirder, you give me a call. I mostly answer phones and do research for other hunters but I’ve been known to help every now and then.”

Liz looked up from the card, shoving away the wandering thoughts popping up in her mind about Bobby being a father and his family. “Research? You fight demons but don’t know everything about them?”

“There’s a lot more out there than just demons.”

Liz looked back down at the card as Ava asked, “so we could call you if we have any questions?”

Bobby nodded and Liz said, “we were thinking about leaving the country for a while.”

“I’ve got contacts in a couple of places. If you need some help, don’t hesitate to call.” He rolled his eyes, “none of the others do.”

Ava chuckled then blushed, “sorry this is just.. crazy. Even for us.”

“Not the first time I heard that. You two need a ride?”

Liz shook her head, “no thanks. I need the air.”

Bobby nodded as he climbed into his car, “take care of yourselves and remember, don’t hesitate. There are a lot of hunters moving across the country and plenty overseas too. If you need info or help, it never hurts to ask.”

Ava and Liz nodded and waved, “thanks.” They watched the car drive away then looked at each other. “Demons?”

Ava smirked, “so are we dreaming or..”

Liz chuckled as she started walking but she couldn’t really respond with words. As her feet kept her moving forward, her mind spun rapidly. She wasn’t sure if the chuckle was an after effect from the draining adrenaline created by what just happened or the absurdity of the idea of what had attacked them. Apparently, they weren’t alone and that didn’t just mean aliens walking among them anymore. What else could be out there? What else was Bobby Singer researching and fighting? Once again, Liz felt like she was just pulling away the curtain to a whole new world that had been quietly moving around right under her nose but just out of sight.

barbara87413,HypnotiqBlueEyes: Thank you! It was a great little vacation to my brother's house. Nothing beats having playmates for the boys in the house! I was actually able to get some good writing time in too! Hopefully be able to start posting faster again.



Chapter Nine

August 2006

Isabel, Maria, and Kyle got all of the parents settled in the large living room of the house they had rented for the week. Liz and Ava insisted on cleaning up after dinner while Michael and Zan made coffee. The idea had come quickly after Liz and Ava approached them with Liz's plan of leaving the country. They had to let their parents know and they couldn't do it over the phone so they planned a group meeting at the end of a week-long vacation for their parents. They found a nice house outside of New York City where they could be away from everything but also be able to take them to the city for a few days. After a week packed with family bonding time, the end was already upon them and they knew they had to tell them tonight instead of shocking them tomorrow when they too had packed bags and a plane to catch at the airport.

That fact hadn't made it any easier and Maria was already showing the stress. Her mother had been eyeing her all during dinner as she made idle chatter and avoided eye contact, leading the rest of the parents to believe something big was coming and their imaginations were running wild. After all, it was only the summer before when they were initiated into the ‘I Know An Alien club’ with a very watered down story that had to do with Liz being led into a trap on a ruse that her parents were taken by their enemies. Alien enemies from not just another planet but another galaxy. Some of the parents had taken it better than others but in the end, they stood behind and supported their children. Now, they were only waiting for one of those children to fill them in so they could do something to actually help this time.

"Michael, how's the coffee coming?" Maria yelled from the doorway of the living room.

"For Christ’s sake Maria, would you just spill it already?" Amy Deluca-Valenti snapped.

Maria spun around, looking at her mother feeling like a teenager again. Her mother only stared with her all-knowing gaze. "Umm, just a minute. Everyone needs to be in here." Maria jumped through the doorway and rushed into the kitchen. "They know. She's going to lose it and lock me in the basement."

Ava dried her hands on a hand towel and smiled at Maria. "You are twenty two years old."

"Have you met my mother? Stupid question, you've met my mother.. multiple times!"

Michael grabbed Maria by the shoulder and spun her to face him. He gripped her upper arms with his hands, "she's not going to lock you up and she's going to be fine. We probably have them all geared up thinking the worst."

"Me leaving the country IS the worst."

Michael simply raised his brow and watched her.

Liz helped Zan with the two trays of cups and coffee. "Michael's right, Ria. There are worse things than living our lives and seeing the world."

Liz and Zan walked into the living room with Michael and Maria following closely behind. They placed the trays on the table and took a seat in the chairs Isabel had pulled in for them.
Liz looked around the room, "I know you guys have probably been wondering what's going on for the last hour or so but you have to know we weren't just keeping it from you because it's bad. We just wanted to enjoy this time with you and felt that tonight would be the best time to tell you about our plans for tomorrow."

Jeff Parker was the first to speak up, "just tomorrow?"

Liz nodded and Maria continued, "we're not just taking you to the airport tomorrow but we're leaving New York as well."

"But you’re not coming with us." Amy kept a straight face as she watched her daughter.

Maria shook her head, "no, we were thinking more along the lines of.. Europe."

Liz continued, "we decided to go overseas for a while and Larek is going to inform the council that we're not coming back to Roswell and we've taken the Granolith with us."

The room fell eerily silent as the parents watched their children and threw glances at each other. Until Amy snapped, "you're telling me that not only did I just find out, not that long ago mind you, that my daughter has been involved with some crazy alien plot with enemies that have killed her friends in another lifetime along with two in this one and you just expect me to go along with all this? And on top of all that, you just want me to let you go forever?!"

Jim Valenti laid a soft hand on Amy's shoulder, "it's risky. What if they don't believe it?"

Michael leaned forward, placing his elbows on his legs. "That's why we wanted you all to know. If you're too far away from us then how could they use you for bait? A flight home would take longer than they can hold the connection to the bodies for."

Diane Evans interjected, "we can leave Roswell too."

Isabel shook her head, "no one is giving up their homes. We're the ones that make it.. that make you unsafe but if you're out of the equation than maybe we can keep you safe."

Nancy Parker looked to her daughter, "what if this doesn't work?"

Liz smiled softly. "If it doesn't then we have to think of something better. Like maybe some kind of witness protection program for you guys but I don't really see it having to go that far."

Her father's brow scrunched together, "How would you.."

Liz waved her hand over her face creating subtle changes. "It's a lot easier than you think." She waved her hand back erasing the changes. "I can hack into government websites and make official badges, we can change IDs with the swipe of our hands and I can make sure their officially in the system. But I don't want to have to do that. We've been able to keep some normal in our lives and I don't want you to have to give that up."

Philip Evans spoke up, "you know we would do anything for you kids."

Isabel felt the tears prick her eyes, "we know dad but you've all lost enough. We're doing everything we can to make sure we're all safe without giving up what's ours."

Amy looked shocked, "but you’re giving us up and you want us to give you up!"

Maria shook her head, "no mom. We're not really staying away forever that's just what we told Larek to tell them. We're still going to see you and talk to you. It'll just be a little different for a while."

Nancy and Diane asked at the same time, "where will you go?"

Kyle chuckled, "somewhere overseas."

Maria smiled, "we're going to see the world mom. Isn't that what you always wanted for me?"

She laughed at the absurdity of it all, "not like this."

"Mom, I'll be living my life. That's the whole point. Not to let them destroy our lives. So we have to change little things but what's so bad about checking out the world? So maybe I'm not on my worldwide tour necessarily but it's still me with my friends seeing the world."

Kyle jumped in, catching the early warning signs of a tirade from his step mother. "If people ask about us, you don't have to lie. We decided we needed a break after college and decided to go backpacking across Europe and have been sending you postcards of places we've stopped. Tell people we got out of Roswell and wanted to see the world."

Jim nodded and looked to his son, "so that if any of them end up being an.. alien in a human's body, they're getting enough to know you left and we don't know where you are until after you've already moved on."

Liz nodded. "Exactly. You have nothing to give them and holding you would do nothing for them but piss us off. Once they realize we're not coming around, they'll probably stop sending people here. They might leave us all alone."

Philip looked at his daughter then glanced to Zan, "you really think that?"

Isabel and Ava shared a glance before Zan answered, "no. Not really. But at least they'd give up on Roswell and come looking for us instead. That'll give us time and give you a break from looking over your shoulder. You were never meant to be in the fire but because you cared for them," Zan caught a few of them trying to speak up but he held up his hand and corrected himself, "because you care for us, you are and it's not something we can just allow to happen. We all deserve safety and right now, this is the best we can do."
~~

Paris, France. Spring 2007

Liz Parker sat alone at a small café, cradling a tiny cup of coffee in her hands that she had gotten used to within the first month in France. The Eiffel Tower stood in the background shining proudly like a beacon in the night a small distance away. She found her thoughts going to Max, wondering if he ever would have left the states. If his fear of the government would ever allow him to leave, to even try passing through something like customs to see other parts of the world. She thought it was sad for a guy that knew he was from another planet yet he only got to see a couple of states in one country on the planet he considered home, not that he would have complained. He had no problem playing the part of apple pie life in Roswell to a tee. Would he ever really give that up to do something like they all had traveling overseas?

She shook her head, of course he would. For her. He would have backed the plan they all had come up with and maybe, just maybe, he would have finally felt free. There were so many people here from so many different walks of life. He would have truly fit in. She smiled imagining him with his dreamy eyed stare at the Eiffel Tower, thinking up some crazy scheme to sweep her off her feet. How different would things have been had they left Roswell that first night? Instead of fighting, instead of standing their ground? What if the three of them had left, if she had let them leave that night and one day she, Maria, and Alex bumped into them at some later date? Would that have changed their fates or would something else have just caused them to fall down to the same ending?

Liz strolled through the streets, taking the longer scenic route back to the apartments the group had rented together. She was currently sharing a three bedroom with Isabel and Kyle. While the two couples in the group, Ava and Zan and Michael and Maria, each had their own one bedroom place in the same building. As a precaution, they had all applied for an apartment separately so it wouldn't seem like 7 Americans were all together. As with everything in their lives, they thought out certain measures that maybe others would think of as over complicated but they preferred it.

"Should you really be out on your own, little miss precaution?" His velvety voice floated through the air.

She didn't bother to look his way just simply whispered, "how did I know you'd make an appearance tonight?"

His smile broadened, "because you were thinking of me. You know I probably would have forced you to walk along the Seine. Maybe I would’ve found a few local musicians to play something beautiful just as I walked you by a certain spot where white Calla Lilies and Roses would be waiting for you."

Liz no longer shied away from talking to him. Even if it was all in her head, it was comforting and after everything, she could use the comfort. A ghost of a smile brushed across her face, "of course you would."

"So what's next on the list? You've been here almost seven months."

"I hear Italy is nice this time of year."

She felt his fingers lace in hers. The warmth of his palm press against her small one. "Italy? Hmm.. I guess."

"Max, do you think I keep you around because I can't let you go?"

"Who would want to let me go?"

Liz chuckled, "Ava thought I was seeing you before because I didn't want to believe you were really gone but it's become so much more than that now."

"I left you alone because I was scaring you. I didn't want to hurt you."

"And now?"

"Well now, you think you’re crazy and it doesn't matter so you welcome me anytime."

Liz smiled, "that's true. I'm totally screwy."

"You do believe in demons. And a few other things we thought were just myths when we were younger. Remember when Wendigos were just Native American campfire stories?”

Liz chuckled, “so was astral projection.”

He smirked, “Touché.” His smile faltered as he caught the small ticks that projected her worries. “You were given the strengths and powers you need to survive.” He noticed his words didn’t change anything so he continued even though he knew he’d be pushing a line. “It'll get better Liz. I promise."

"Maybe I don't want to get better." She turned her face up towards his.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she pressed her head into the warmth of his chest. "In time, my love. The time will come to move on and you won't need me but I promise I will always be with you while you do."

Liz walked the rest of the way home soaking in the warmth of his presence. Couples wrapped up in each other passed by not giving any attention to the small brunette strolling in silence along the street, alone.