Haunted (CC ALL,TEEN) 1/1 {Complete} 10/24

[Midwest Max]

Title: Haunted
Author: Karen
Disclaimer: The characters of "Roswell" belong to Jason Katims, Melinda Metz, WB, and UPN. They are not mine and no infringement is intended.
Pairings/Couples/Category: CC – ALL, mostly A/I
Rating: Teen
Summary: Takes place the Halloween after Alex's death. You can assume everything happened through the end of S2.


Isabel Evans was looking at the paper before her, pen poised at the ready, but she’d yet to write anything in the ten minutes she’d been sitting at her desk. It was dark outside, the moon full in the late October sky, but the night was alive with a buzz of excitement. Tonight there would be many rings of the doorbell, many smashed pumpkins, many shrieks in the night.

Every now and then, Isabel heard a giggle coming from down the hall. If she listened closely enough, she could hear the murmur of her brother’s soft voice preceding most of those laughs. Max and Liz, on the mend. Isabel smiled lightly to herself to think that it was possible those two could work through their issues. So much had happened in the last year. So much pain, so much heartbreak, so much betrayal and death.

But life went on. Max and Liz were proof of that. Sure, things had been tense between them for quite a while, but lately Isabel was seeing something a little different in their interaction. It might be something subtle, like the light pink that flushed Liz’s cheeks when she caught Max watching her while working at the Crashdown, or the way that Max would sometimes smile for no reason at all. Simply put, Max was not a smiler by nature, but Isabel had caught him staring into space grinning more than once of late. There was a different vibe coming from the two of them and Isabel could only wonder if their relationship had taken on a new dimension, a decidedly physical dimension.

Isabel looked at the empty paper, slightly startled at her own lack of productivity, and finally laid down the pen. She rubbed her eyes tiredly and let out a weary sigh. There was a hollow spot inside of her, one that couldn’t understand how Liz Parker was strong enough to move on, to forgive, to still let herself love Max after all that had happened. Because Isabel knew that she wasn’t that strong.

Weakness had driven her from Roswell, to San Francisco to attend college. After Alex’s death and the truth of Tess’s betrayal, Isabel just couldn’t stay there with a ghost in every shadow. As soon as she’d left the state of New Mexico, she’d felt like she could breathe again. She had, however, promised her mother to visit regularly and one of those promises had been to return on or near her birthday. Her first free weekend had turned out to be this one, the weekend when most people were celebrating Halloween.

Gazing out of her bedroom window, Isabel thought back just one year to the previous Halloween. How things had changed since then. At that time, Liz was being haunted by a ghost that had come for her alone, a terrible secret that she would keep to herself for an agonizingly long time. Max had been confused and stubborn, only compounding the matter. Michael had been on the trail of some Skins and had been getting a little too close to one of them for Maria’s comfort. Another smile came to Isabel’s lips as she remembered her sweet, nonviolent Alex knocking Michael on his ass for breaking his friend’s heart.

But that’s what Alex was – a protector of all those he loved. Her smile slowly faded into a frown and she felt another tug inside of that hollow spot. In the mother of all ironies, there had been no one to protect Alex.

“And if you’re good, maybe I’ll give you a treat later.” It was Liz’s voice in the hallway, teasing, playful, so totally in love. Isabel couldn’t hear her brother’s reply, but it prompted another schoolgirl giggle from Liz.

“Just let me check, okay?” Max said to Liz, his voice serious and Isabel drew in a deep breath. Here it came – time to act like everything was fine. In a few moments, there was a light knock on her door. “Am I interrupting?”

Isabel turned from her desk and found her brother, dressed like a sheik, standing in her doorway. His eyebrows were lifted in question, his expression cautious. “No,” she replied, trying to smile. “I was just taking a break.”

“Good,” he said, smiling at her, so wanting to help. “If you’re taking a break, then you can come to the Crashdown with me and Liz.”

As if speaking her name could conjure her presence, Liz appeared beside Max in a rustle of fabric and a jingle of jewels. She was dressed like a belly dancer, all satin, sheer silk and coin fringe, an emerald jewel in her belly button. Isabel couldn’t help but smile at her, so petite and pretty.

“Yes, come with us,” Liz encouraged, sliding her fingers through Max’s. “We want you to.”

Isabel looked at her empty page, drew in a breath that was supposed to sound wishful but burdened. “Gosh, I wish I could. But I’ve got tons of homework I have to get done.”

“Can’t it wait?” Max asked hopefully. “I mean, you’ve got all weekend, right?”

“If it weren’t for the fact that Mom has every minute planned,” she pointed out with a chuckle. “Go ahead. I’m just going to stay here and work on this.”

Max and Liz exchanged a glance, then he released her hand and walked across the room. Isabel was startled as he bent at the waist and kissed her on the cheek. He smelled good – like a man on a date.

“If you want to come later,” he told her, “we’ll be there probably until well after midnight.”

“Okay,” she said, putting the smile on her face even though it pained her to do so. “Maybe I will.” She knew she wouldn’t.

And from the look in Max’s eyes, he knew it too. But he still gave her an understanding smile before he left the room.

“Is she going to be okay?” Liz, in the hallway again, apparently unaware of the acoustics of the Evans home.

“I hope so,” Max replied.

Isabel sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest. She envied them, envied that they were able to pick up the pieces when all she could do was run from the mess.

Voices outside prompted her to look at the clock – nearly six in the evening. Remembering that she’d obligated herself to pass out candy to trick-or-treaters, she pushed her unfinished homework aside and went to get the bowl and wait for the doorbell.

As she sat in the living room, she realized how large and empty the house seemed when no one was there. Her parents had gone to a function for her father’s job and of course Max and Liz had gone to the costume party. It seemed somewhat pitiful to her that she was nineteen and dateless on a Friday night – and that the situation suited her just fine.

Eventually the doorbell began to ring. There were witches and ghosts and demons of all kinds. Being Roswell, there was a myriad of aliens, all different in their own way and happily not a Skin among them. There were also sarcastic teens, way too old to beg for candy, even a few who fell into a Beavis and Butthead giggle fest while looking at her breasts. Those ones she pinned with the Ice Princess glare and they usually found the pressing need to be elsewhere.

As the designated trick-or-treating period was winding down, there was one last ring of the doorbell. Isabel looked into the bowl, saw there was still a little candy left and opened the door. On the other side stood Kyle Valenti, all big grin and mischievous blue eyes. He was sans costume, though Isabel suspected he was on his way to the Crashdown party.

“Trick,” he said, then lowered his eyes to his belt. “Or treat?” He waggled his eyebrows in a manner that immediately made her laugh, then he shrugged. “What the hell? If you want, I’ll give you both.”

Isabel was beaming. In the months since Alex’s death, she and Kyle had grown close, a friendship borne from the trauma they had both suffered. It was true that Tess had seduced Max and led him to believe she was pregnant; it was also painfully true that she had killed Alex. But the two people who were seemed to be suffering the lingering effects of her actions were Isabel and Kyle – Isabel because Tess took from her the one person she was beginning to love and Kyle because she walked all over his hospitality, throwing the Valentis’ kindness back into his face without so much as a second thought.

Of course, there had been no romantic events in Isabel and Kyle’s relationship, but that didn’t stop him from innuendo and frat boy remarks. If the truth were told, sometimes she wondered if he wasn’t necessarily joking when he made those comments.

“Why don’t you come in?” she asked, still grinning as she started to step out of his way.

“I have a better idea,” he said, clasping his hands before himself like he did when he was hoping, wishing, afraid to be rejected. “Why don’t you come out instead?”

Isabel’s smile dissolved as her head slowly tilted to one side.

Kyle put up his hands quickly, ready to defend and plead his case. “I don’t mean like on a date or anything. But it is Halloween and I hear there’s a great party going on down at the Crashdown. I thought maybe we could head over there, have some food, dance a little. What do you say?”

“I don’t know, Kyle,” she replied uneasily, watched him deflate before her. “I don’t have much in common with those people anymore.”

He looked startled. “What do you mean? You’ve only been out of high school for four months. Maria and Michael will be there. I’m sure Max and Liz are already there. And we know you have something in common with all of them.”

She shook her head slowly, blond ponytail swaying with the motion. “I think I’d feel funny.”

Kyle dropped his hands, frowned slightly and took a step backward. Isabel knew he wanted to push her, but she also knew that he understood it would do no good. “Okay,” he said, dejection in his tone. “Well, I’m going to head over there. If you change your mind, that’s where I’ll be.”

Isabel gave him an empty smile. “Okay.” She didn’t say that maybe she’d see him later – she knew that it was wrong to set that expectation and then never follow through on it.

Holding onto the door handle, she watched Kyle retreat down the sidewalk and climb into his little red convertible. Inside, she did feel a little bad for disappointing him, but she really couldn’t deal with people tonight. If she went to that party, she’d run into a ton of people she really never cared to see again, people who were still playing the high school popularity game, people who had probably long forgotten about her once she’d left that school. Of course, she’d lost some of her goddess status even before graduation – after all, dating a dork like Alex Whitman was a quick way to be evicted from every clique there was.

Trick-or-treating time was over and Isabel found herself sitting at the kitchen table digging through the remains of the candy her mother had bought. Stupidly, she’d given away all of the good stuff and all that remained were some Milk Duds and some Pixie Stix. She poked the offending sweets from one side of the bowl to the other, then blew out a sigh and slumped over onto the table in boredom. As she lay there, she could hear the ticking of the clock in the living room, its constant cadence only compounding the uneasiness inside of her.

Quickly, she sat up and straightened her hair. She couldn’t sit here while the house was empty even if she didn’t want to be with other people. If nothing else, she could go for a drive or a walk or something. At least it would be a distraction.

As she traveled Roswell’s suburban streets, she saw many figures ducking into shadows here and there. There would be a lot of mischief tonight, a lot of petty vandalism. She had her suspicions that when they were children Michael Guerin had definitely been one of the egg- and toilet paper-throwers. It was probably one of the only ways he’d been able to vent some of the frustration surrounding his foster situation.

When she grew sick of driving, Isabel found a parking spot near the park and left the car there. She mused that other people might find Halloween night too spooky to walk alone in the dark, but there were very few earthly things that frightened her, not after what she’d seen.

There was a small festival going on in the park, a few concessions stands and autumn activities to partake in. Fighting a small crowd, she bought a caramel apple at one of the stands and started to eat it as she walked Roswell’s city streets. Groups of laughing, squealing children toting full bags of candy pushed passed her, but she really didn’t pay them any mind. If anything, she envied their freedom and innocence.

After walking aimlessly for quite a while, Isabel was surprised to find herself standing at the gates to the cemetery. Now, there was one place no one would want to be on Halloween. Stuffing her hands into her coat pockets and not feeling the least bit uneasy, she entered the graveyard and started an unhurried trek to the only grave she cared about. She could make it there with her eyes closed if she had to – there was no need to check section or row numbers. She knew exactly where she was going.

When she found the gravesite, it was so dark that she couldn’t make out the inscription on the stone. Reaching down, she picked up a rock from the base of a tree and held it in her palm until it glowed. Satisfied with the effect, she laid the rock on the headstone so that it cast eerie shadows across the name – Alexander C. Whitman.

As she read his name in her head, she heard her own name on the wind, a breeze that rustled her hair and sent a few leaves tumbling at her feet. She knew he was there, close by, waiting for her.

“Hello, Alex,” she said, smiling.

In the next moment, he appeared before her, sitting on a tombstone in the next row of graves.

Her grin widened. “Are you haunting me?” she asked.

Alex didn’t smile and she sensed sadness in the air. “You’re not the one who’s haunted,” he said.

Isabel stopped smiling, her smooth brow furrowing in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I’m stuck, Iz. Stuck between two worlds,” he explained, a hint of pleading in his tone. Hopping down from the stone on which he was perched, he walked over to her, his own marker now between them.

Isabel felt a little twinge of panic. “Why are you stuck? What can I do to help?”

His blue eyes softened. “You can let me go. I can’t move on until you move on.”

She looked away, not wanting to even contemplate her life without him. Of all of the frightening things this night could hold, this was the worst.

“There’s nothing you can do for me in this life,” he said gently. “But you can let me go so that I can move to the next life.”

“I’m not holding onto you,” she said weakly, looking down at the ground. She couldn’t bear the thought that she had somehow caused him unrest, after all that he’d gone through for them while he was living.

Alex cocked his head. “No? Then why are you alone tonight?”

She looked up at him, tried to come up with an answer.

“You’re a beautiful woman and yet you haven’t had a date in the whole time you’ve been in San Francisco.” His words were without accusation, but they stung nonetheless.

Isabel winced and gave an embarrassed laugh. “Wow, you ghosts see everything, don’t you?”

“I see you,” he continued, his blue eyes searching hers. “I see your pain, Isabel. I see your shutting yourself off from the rest of the world, from things that would be good for you.”

“I’m not shutting myself off,” she denied, none too convincingly.

“No? Then why didn’t you go to the Crashdown party? Max and Liz truly want you there. You know they love you. And Kyle offered to take you as well. And yet you didn’t go. Why is that?”

Isabel kicked at the ground. “I didn’t want to be with anyone tonight.”

Alex shook his head. “Not just tonight, Iz. Any night. You never want to be with anyone. And I know it’s because of what happened with me.”

She continued to stare at the ground, but she could feel tears starting to pool behind her eyes. In death, as in life, Alex saw right through her.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he said softly. “No matter the means, it was my time. Isabel.”

She looked up at him, her eyes moist.

“You’ve got so much life to live yet. My life is over, but you need to go on. You deserve to be happy and you’re not going to be happy as long as you’re haunted by what happened. You need to let it go. You need to let me go.”

Isabel let out a sob. “I can’t, Alex. I loved you so much. I just can’t. I can’t be alone.”

He smiled at her sympathetically. “Even if you hold onto me, you’re still alone, Iz. I don’t exist anymore, not in the way that you need me to. If you don’t move on, you’re going to die a lonely, sad old lady and I don’t want to see that happen.”

Biting her lip, she looked at the ground again, the toe of her boot blurring behind her tears.

“I’m always going to be with you, Isabel,” Alex said softly, his voice a gossamer whisper.

Reaching toward her, he grazed the front of her shirt with his fingertips. She felt a tingle inside of her chest, inside of her heart, that nearly took her breath away.

“I’m always going to be here,” he told her. His expression became serious as his ghostly fingers strayed across her forehead, leaving in their wake a cool breeze. “But I can’t be here anymore. Let me go, Iz.”

Unable to stop her tears, Isabel buried her face in her hands and let out the world of grief she’d been storing for months. His words had been spoken with such gentle pleading that she knew she had no choice – she was going to need to relinquish that last little bit of him that she still clung to. It was her safety net, her one comfort when she was unsure of the world. But it was unfair to trap him here in this world, to keep him from truly lying in peace.

He was right – it was time for her to move forward with her life.

But not before she got to say goodbye. Not before she got to dance with him one last time. Dropping her hands, prepared to ask him for that last dance, she found that she was alone. Swiveling, she searched the cemetery and saw no sign of him. She wiped frantically at her cheeks, only to have them streaked again when she realized that she’d done what she thought she couldn’t – she’d given him up. He could now rest in peace.

The walk back to her car was slow and full of sadness. The air around her felt a little more brisk than it had, a little more empty. She knew inside of her heart that Alex had left his world, had moved on to the next. The thought should have made her happy, but oddly it just made her sadder.

As she reached for the door handle of the car, another breeze blew past her and she heard different words this time.

Thank you, Isabel…

The words brought with them such a feeling of peace and relief that she gasped, an unexpected tear of happiness rolling down her cheek. Her heart tingled, one last reminder that he was still inside of her, if gone from this plane of existence. Her grief seemed to rush out of her at the same time, a heavy burden lifted from her wounded soul, a hollow ache no longer so empty.

Isabel released the door handle and looked down the street. She could see the chasing lights of the Crashdown sign and knew what she had to do. Alex was right – she had to move on, had to get on with her life. Without another thought, she took quick steps toward the café, determined to find her friends and family, the ones who were still her with her in this world.

When she reached the Crashdown, she paused momentarily and looked through the plate glass window. There were many people inside, some she wanted to see and some she didn’t. But she would face them anyway instead of avoiding them. In the back, she saw Liz and Max standing very closely to one another, obviously very much in love. Nearby, Maria, dressed as one of the Pink Ladies, was gesticulating wildly at her Danny Zuko, an uncooperative-looking Michael. Isabel smiled at the scene, so typical of those she loved.

Shifting her gaze to Maria’s left, Isabel saw Kyle sitting alone at the bar, a soda in his hand as he quietly watched the action around him. In that moment, she realized that while she’d fallen from grace as Roswell’s resident leading lady as far as the “in” crowd was concerned, Kyle had been dethroned as well. Once the captain of the football team with an entourage of phenomenal proportions, Buddhism and friendships with the not-so-in crowd had banished him and left him friendless.

A little grin tugged at Isabel’s lips. Kyle wasn’t friendless. She was his friend and regardless of what might or might not happen romantically between them, she always would be. Putting on a smile that wasn’t entirely forced this time, she reached out and pushed open the swinging front door of the Crashdown.

As she walked towards her friends and brother, she knew that somewhere Alex Whitman was watching her. And she hoped that this time he saw her optimism instead of her pain and isolation.

A little lighter than she had been earlier, Isabel reached out and put her arms around a startled Kyle. She felt a tingle in her heart again, but this time for a different reason.

Even though Alex was still inside of her heart, she knew there was still plenty of room for someone else.

The End