Author: Angel Parker... angelof7days@hotmail.com
Banner By: Me... Angel Parker
Category:Liz POV/CC/Dreamer.
Rating: Mature... Heavy angst and death.
Disclaimer: All TV characters are copyright of their original owner, I do not own them in anyway shape or form... I'm just having fun borrowing them. Also some dialogue from the pilot is used, however skewed in meaning.
Setting: A re-telling of the Pilot episode with a different ending and different conscequences. This story is also part of the Multiverse Series.
I'm crying everyone's tears
And there inside our private war
I died the night before
And all of these remnants of joy and disaster
What am I suppose to do
I want to cook you a soup that warms your soul
But nothing would change, nothing would change at all
It's just a day that brings it all about
Just another day and nothing's any good
The DJ's playing the same song
I have so much to do
I have to carry on
I wonder if this grief will ever let me go
I feel like I am the king of sorrow, yeah
The king of sorrow
I suppose I could just walk away
Will I disappoint my future if I stay
It's just a day that brings it all about
Just another day and nothing's any good
The DJ's playing the same song
I have so much to do
I have to carry on
I wonder will this grief ever be gone
Will it ever go
I'm the king of sorrow, yeah
The king of sorrow
I'm crying everyone's tears
I have already paid for all my future sins
There's nothing anyone
Can say to take this away
It's just another day and nothing's any good
I'm the king of sorrow, yeah
King of sorrow
~ King of Sorrow, Sade
Part One: Give Away
I never imagined it could happen so quickly. That a single second could change everything I've ever known. That one single person could mean the difference between living or dying. I'm Liz Parker and that's exactly what Max Evans did the day he saved my life.
He opened the door to possibilities and friends I never thought I'd know. Showed me how strong love could be and how it can last longer than we think. Max awoke something powerful in me the instant his hands touched my face. He showed me that life is really about the people we meet, the connections we make and the love we share.
But the most important thing in life, is to never forget the impact one soul can have on another. How the most gentle spirit can also have the biggest influence in the course of many lives. That even fate doesn't always have the final say in what's to be.
Because if there's one thing I know for sure it's that, that bullet was meant for me.
(September 19th, Crashdown - Day of the shooting)
"Liz, you can't honestly say you haven't noticed Max Evans staring at you. He comes in here almost everyday and asks to sit at that table. Your table Lizzie." Maria bats her eyelashes at me like she's done a thousand times before, and then pretending to be Max blows a kiss in my direction.
"Mi amor." She's imitating his voice now. Though Maria sounds nothing like Max a blush creeps into my cheeks. The strangest part is that I can almost hear his voice, even though he has never said anything like that to me. It feels as though I’ve heard him say it a thousand times in a million different ways.
"Maria! I don't even know Max." It's in that second I look up and just for a moment, catch his warm eyes looking at me. He looks away quickly but I have already seen the depth of love which he carries. Today though there is something different, an intense sadness which takes me off guard.
To be completely truthful I've never really known Max, except for the times he's come to the Crashdown. Which isn't really knowing someone at all. One might say he's always been around but never actually close. Hanging in the background like a shadow that can't be touched.
The only other time I was in close proximity to Max Evans was the first day of Bio when he asked to be partnered with someone else. The teacher thought it was odd, but I guess she figured he'd be more comfortable working with someone he knew. He always seemed so shy and awkward and so she'd complied with his request. After that he was always paired with Isabel Evans, a girl who could eat icicles for breakfast.
How she could ever be related to Max I'll never know. Why he would want to be paired with her when they never even acknowledge each other outside of class is an even bigger mystery.
That is quite simply what Max Evans is, an enigma wrapped tightly in a conundrum because shortly after that incident he started showing up here. Sitting at my table and letting me wait on him just like every other customer. Yet he is different from any of the customers I have ever had and it’s not just his eyes, or the way he looks at me. It is something more, something deeper that I can’t explain and every time I see him, it is there. Daring me to move forward in the direction my heart knows is right, challenging me to take that next step.
"So you're denying again, Huh chica?" Maria winks at me, and I know, she knows, that I'm still waiting for Max to really show his affections and ask me out. Wonder why it's taking him so long with the desire I see in his eyes.
What does he have to lose anyway?
"Well as long as you're denying you can go give those two a refill on their coffee." Maria gives a disgusted nod toward the two newcomers sitting at the table closest to the door, neither looking particularly pleasant. "They're giving off a nasty vibe."
"Isn't that your table?" We both know it’s not really a question, because Maria knows that out of everyone here I am the one least likely to forget. Yet I know that Maria will still answer as if it were real, that Maria Deluca is up to something.
"Yeah, but that's not the point." She looks over at the two un-friendlies and then back over to Max. "I've been secretly crushing on that guy over there and since you aren't going to break the ice I thought I'd try." Maria gives an evil grin as she bounds off in the other direction with a pot of coffee.
Leaving me speechless, which I'm sure was her intent.
It takes a moment for me to gather my bearings again and realize I was in the process of getting menu's for Max's table. To remember that I was also calculating the odds of Max finally letting me in. Showing me who he really is and imagining how all those walls got built in the first place.
Sometimes I think I over analyze things.
"Liz!" Maria's terrified shrill makes me stop cold. I don't want to move, don't want to know what it is that has made my best friend speak like that. Because it could only mean something very, very bad is about to happen and I don’t want to know what it is.
Yet even so something in me snaps and without even thinking I turn around to see what has happened. Only to wish I had never turned around, that I had simply heeded Maria's warning and hid. Because right now I’m frozen, not by choice this time but by the sight of the gun waving wildly as both men fight for it. How it seems to never stray too far from my direction and how one of their fingers seems to inch closer to the trigger.
Max must have also seen what was happening because somehow he has gotten in front of me. Shielding me with his own body, it surprises me how snugly I fit next to him. How Max’s eyes have not left mine since Maria's shout. His determination to keep me safe warms my heart and though I can't explain it, in any logical way. I feel a connection forming between us.
It is this moment I dread because I am suddenly aware that it will be our last. Can sense that Max has known this for some time now. A silent thunder roars in the distance and I know that it is only silent because I am not fully in this world. The soul which has finally made it's way to me is now fading like smoke in strong wind.
The shot knocks Max off of his feet and into me, it is the first time his eyes have left mine. The first moment when I can no longer feel any trace of the connection. My body grows weak as his weight becomes too much for me to bare and we both fall to the floor in a crumpled heap. It is now that I see the stream of blood flowing from the hole in his back.
And now more than ever I need to see Max's face again. Need the reassurance that everything will be alright. I move him as gently as possible but I fear that I am still causing him pain.
"I'm sorry Liz." He speaks softly, as a spasm rips through his body. I should be the one who’s sorry and yet he is the one who’s said it, like he's already accepted this dire fate. My heart wants to break. He cannot just give up, I won't let him!
"It's going to be alright, just hold on Max." I say, trying to convince him that there are things worth holding on for. Tears gather at the corner of my eyes and I cannot stop them from cascading down my cheeks. Something in my heart screams that this isn't right and yet I am powerless to change what's happened. Powerless to do anything but watch and pray that he has not lost hope.
"Somebody call an ambulance!" My voice screams out. The color in Max's face has grown pale and I know that he doesn't have much time.
"No, Liz." Max reaches his hand out and gently brushes away some of the tears.
I know it wasn't his intent to complete a connection between us. That Max never meant to reveal himself to me because it's in this moment that I can feel everything, the intense pain causing me to flinch. But as quickly as it has emerged the sharp ache in my muscles disappears, Max's regret is instant.
He is desperately trying to control the connection, though his powers are unraveling beyond his grasp. He is seeking a way to hold on for just a little while longer now, trying to tell me something in his mind. White hot light hits my senses with such a force that I am momentarily stunned. It takes a moment for me to realize that I am not in the Crashdown anymore at least not my mind.
Max is sitting in a livingroom with Isabel and a friend of theirs, whom I have only seen a couple of times in the Crashdown. Yet right now it is as though I've known Michael Guerin for many years. The loyalty he has shown Max runs deep, he will not argue with him if he doesn't see a good reason too. Even right now, though Max has not truly convinced him, he will not speak up until Max has fully explained his side.
"The visions I see..." Max is speaking to his sister, yearning for her to understand the urgency. He is scared for someone and she is not listening. Has not been since he told her the three of them might be exposed by what he plans to do.
"You can't risk it Max, no matter how much you want to, our lives are at stake. Our freedom." He knows where she's coming from, does not hate her for it, because he is just as scared. Knows that by using his powers to save the life of the girl he loves they will all be at risk.
Yet he knows he has to make them both understand where he is coming from. That he will not truly be alive if he lets her die. "Liz is going to die, if I don't do something." His heart is beating faster, he knows his sister does not want to believe him.
"You don't know that. Our powers have never worked like that before." There is fear in Isabel's eyes, she doesn't want to be exposed, she is worried about her brother's safety and she has convinced herself that he is wrong.
"I've seen it." He is doubting himself now, hoping they do not sense it.
"Maxwell, she's right, we can't predict the future."
The image changes and for a brief moment I can see Max's brown eyes looking down at me, sweat glistening on his brow.
"You're all right now. You're all right."
But my vision shifts again and I can hear Max's voice gently in my ear.
"You remember that time? It was right before Katy was born, we came here because you worried she'd be more alien than human." A small shiver runs down my spine and I know that Max has felt it too. His hand moves down to my lower back gently easing the electric charge.
"As I recall we were both worried, Max." My breath is coming in unevenly as I speak, I know it upsets him. Can feel Max's concern for my health flowing freely in the connection we share.
"So you do remember." He is trying to keep the conversation light. Trying to keep me relaxed so that my muscles will not become tense again and yet we both know it will only get worse. That it was dangerous to try again and still somehow we both convinced ourselves that this time would be different.
"It's like that now." he continues softly, reaching his arm around my swollen stomach and resting his hand gently atop. "Everything's going to be fine."
Another shiver begins to descend down my spine and I know that despite our best efforts this one will be stronger. Can feel my body growing weak and my eyelids growing heavy.
"Liz."
Everything fades to black and for a moment I can see everyone in the Crashdown. Frozen and unmoving as though time has slowed to a stop. Realize that Max's hand has fallen from my face, not in death, but in weariness.
I am overcome by the realization that I need to know more. See just what it is that has divided us for so long and in that finally understand who Max Evans is. Reaching down I pick up his hands and bring them back to my face, willing the visions to continue.
In an instant I am transported to a different place in my mind yet again.
Max is in a cave and though it now feels like a place I have been to often, I know I've never seen it before. It is dark and cold now but I know that this is the place where Max first saw Isabel and Michael. This is the place they all called home before venturing out into the unknown. Max reaches his hand out and the walls become bright with soft blue light.
The sight that greets us is terrifying, Max's sister, Isabel and friend, Michael are both lying in a pool of blood. Rage fills his veins and he wants to kill the only thing standing in the small room before him. The monster that did this and yet he can feel that something else is wrong.
"You've betrayed me!" He screams instead, trying desperately to access his powers.
"Your not human and neither were they." The monster speaks as though he's the one who's been betrayed. As though he’s the one with all the rights to anger. "Don't bother trying to use your powers Max." A slight southern twang still evident in his voice.
"Why?" He asks, dropping down to his knees. He is already starting to feel the effects of the drugs that were used to incapacitate his friends. Knows that he will die soon and that he will not be able to take this evil with him.
"I'm protecting earth from invaders, like you." The monster smiles and for a moment he seems harmless. Like he believes what he’s doing is right and that if he were to understand the truth he would change. But then the monster turns and speaks once more. "You didn't think healing Liz would go unnoticed did you?"
My surroundings fade and I can now see Michael. He is talking to Max trying to get him to see his point of view.
"I've dreamt about it too, Maxwell. The FBI, being exposed, dying, it's not real. Nightmares Maximilian, that's all they are. We've never shown anyone what we can do and that's what keeps us safe."
The images stop and my heart beat slows. A bright light blinds me, capturing all of my senses before it fades away.
(September 22nd, Desert - Three Days After)
It's strange to be standing here, an open grave hiding the love of my life. White roses being laid gently down and these thoughts still churning in my head. Some would say it's crazy, but then, they've never seen the things I have. Never known the things I've found to be true. Michael stands so close to me, it unnerves some here that I have not pushed him away. Their distrust for him clearly evident in the occasional uneasy glance shot in our direction. They wonder if tragedy has turned Liz Parker wild.
They do not understand the connection I now share with Michael, do not even know that it extends to Isabel as well. Would not comprehend that my connection started the moment Max passed away and his powers transferred themselves to me.
It was too late to save his life. Too late to change events into what they should be.
The memory of this moment gnaws at me constantly and I find myself wondering if there might have been some other way. Can feel that there were other paths Max could have taken but strangely each time I try and focus on one, they slip away. Deep down I know Max wouldn't have wanted me to heal him, he knew it would raise too many questions. That it’s why he sacrificed his life so that I could have a normal one. A blessing and a curse entwined in one single moment.
Tears stream down Isabel's cheeks as she moves to put her rose on her brother's coffin. Once steadily held by many as the princess of ice, she now shows her true nature. Isabel's vulnerability never more visible then when she rejoins her parents, collapsing in her Mother's waiting arms.
It is my turn now and I find myself hesitant to move. Not because of the finality it will bring but rather the sudden flash of Max's smile. A smile I have not personally seen and yet it felt as though he was smiling directly at me. Like that day in the Crashdown when it seemed as though Max had spoken Maria’s words to me before.
Maybe I am crazy, maybe I will go wild in the wake of such tragedy. But I know that it's real, Max Evans lives on and not just in my memories or my heart, but in some other real way he is alive. I think I've known it from the beginning when Max unintentionally started the bond between us. Though I hadn't completely grasped the fullness of it then.
I am walking now, slowly but surely. Leaving behind a pillar of strength, whom I've come to know and trust, like Max did.
Another flash and I can see Max's eyes twinkling in candle light, sense that maybe wherever he is, he has found his Liz. In fact I know that somewhere we are happy. That he saved me in another way or perhaps never needed to at all, can feel it in my bones.
The delicate white flower falls from my hands and rests on the smooth wood surface. It doesn't make any noticeable sound with the wind moving swiftly but I can feel the ripples it makes in the air.
Max is gone now from this place but the life he knew is not. The visions he saw are still very much alive and the heart he kept guarded now freely beats in mine. It was the instant his light touched my life that I was changed and it is the echo of his light that keeps me going.
In reality Max Evans is not truly gone, merely out of reach.
The End...