Roswell Fanatics

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Title:In Her Eyes

Disclaimer: Dont own anything...just borrowing the characters that I love. Also I do not not own the rights to or lyrics of the Martina Mcbride song "In my Daughters Eyes" also just borrowing.

Coupling: M/M

Rating:Teen I guess?

Summary: This is a one parter from Michaels POV, something that just came to me...warning its sad so if I were to give a really summary, It would kinda ruin the whole effect I was going for...

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“Its not fair, you always say no to everything, I hate you!” She screamed before running out of the room tears streaming down her face her long blonde hair whipping around her like a fan, moments later the slamming of her bedroom door sounded through the entire house.

Michael leaned forward on the sofa that he was sitting on cupped his head between his hands and sighed. She said that he could do this, that she had faith in him always.

Yet here he was having his only daughter saying how much she hated him. He sighed again, how many more rough patches of life would he have to go through, sometimes he felt that maybe it was hit lot in life, to never know what it was like to accomplish something...do it right from the beginning.


13 years prior


“Sir, I am so sorry we don’t know how it happened, her pregnancy had been normal through out the entire 9 months, I am so sorry.” The doctor told Michael before quickly leaving him alone in the room where just hours ago he was awaiting the birth of his first child with the love of his life.

Now she was gone, they don’t even know why... weeks would pass before he would find out that she had an aneurism, that she never had a chance.. That if she would have had a c-section, she would be with him today.

“Mr Guerin, would you like to feed her?” A nurse had walked into the room holding what looked like a tiny bundle of pink blanket, no bigger then a football.

“I..I don’t know how to.” he took a step back unconsciously panic clearly visible all over his face.

“There’s nothing to it, I’ll show you.” She stood in front of him and placed her in his arms for the first time.

Michael felt as if he had been sucker punched right smack in the middle of his chest. How could he have this beautiful little baby girl in his arms and not be able to share her with her mother. The plans they had made, the late night talks they had shared regarding everything from her first date, to how they would react if she wanted to get a tattoo. So many plans, so many dreams.

She squirmed a little as she changed hands. Her lips, puckered up and it reminded him of a rose, right before it was going to bloom, he’d seen those same lips in baby pictures of Maria. The lump in his throat grew bigger, making him feel as if it would choke him.

The nurse murmured something and quickly left him alone with her. Awkwardly Michael placed the baby bottle to her mouth, and instantly she quieted down. Her little cheeks had a touch of pink to them, her eyebrows were so blond that you could hardly make them out, with his free had he stroked the curve of her cheek, his shoulders began to shake, his legs felt like jelly...He couldn’t contain the sob that tore out of his chest, couldn’t keep the tears from falling as his little angel feel asleep in his arms.


Present:


“Can I come in?” He placed one hand on either side of the door frame as he waited for her answer.

“NO, just leave me alone.”He could hear the steady hum of the radio playing in the background.

“Maggie, I am trying here, cut me some slack, open the door...please.” Michael pressed his forehead against the door and closed his eyes, he heard the lock turn seconds later.

He walked into her room, that smelled of perfume and candy. She sat cross legged in the middle of her bed, hugging a Care Bear that she had since she had been born. Her lips were pursed in the way he all ready recognized, she had her mind set on something.

“Why do you treat me like a child, I’m almost fourteen Dad.” She crossed her arms over her chest. Michael couldn’t help but notice the bright red nail polish on her finger nails. He had told her that color was to grown up for her before. He decided that he would have to pick and choose his battles.

“I know how old you are, but fourteen is not old enough to spend the weekend at a friends house, that I do not know, I said you could go on Saturday and I’d pick you up at night.” He sat down on the corner of her bed and for the millionth time thought how much she resembled her mother. Over her shoulder, on her night stand sat the picture of there prom night, Maria smiled up with flowers entwined in her hair, looking so happy, he had to look away.

“Fine, I bet if mom was here, she would understand, she would let me go, you have no idea what its like for me.” Tears had filled her big green eyes, one by one they began to trickle down her cheeks. The next song that came on the radio couldn’t have been anymore perfect.

In my daughter's eyes, I am a hero.
I am strong an' wise,
And I know no fear.
But the truth is plain to see:
She was sent to rescue me,
I see who I wanna be, in my daughter's eyes.

Michael reached out across the bed and placed his hand over hers. A look of sadness passing over his face, he wished that he knew what to say, what to do... All that mattered to him since the day he had left that hospital alone with his tiny daughter, was her happiness. He had to make everything ok, she was all he had left of her, and himself.

In my daughter's eyes, everyone is equal,
Darkness turns to light,
And the world is at peace.
This miracle God gave to me,
Gives me strength when I am weak.
I find reason to believe, in my daughter's eyes.

“How about I go over to this friends house and meet her parents get a feel of how they operate, that sound ok?” He brushed a tear off her cheek.

“Really you’d do that Dad, I know how much you hate talking to people.” She said a look of surprise on her face.

“Yea, I think that I need to get over that.” Michael shrugged his shoulders as she squeezed his hand in hers.

An' when she wraps her hand around my finger,
Oh, it puts a smile in my heart.
Everything becomes a little clearer.
I realize what life is all about.
It's hanging' on when your heart has had enough;
It's givin' more when you feel like givin' up.
I've seen the light: it's in my daughter's eyes.

“I miss her too Maggie, with all of my heart, I’m sorry if sometimes I don’t have the answers to the things you wonder about, I’m sorry that I am not always there for you, but I love you, the only way that I know how to.” Michael stood up, he felt a lump growing in his throat. Maria’s smiling face was staring up at him from that framed picture.

She stood up and wrapped her arms around his waist and placed her cheek tightly against his chest.

She whispered “I love you Daddy, I’m sorry...I don’t know why I act the way I do sometimes, but I... I miss her too...at least you got to spend time with her, and get to really know her...all I have are your memories, and I still miss her ya know, even though I never really knew her.” She squeezed him a little tighter and closed her eyes.

In my daughter's eyes, I can see the future.
A reflection of who I am,
An' what will be.
An' though she'll grow an', some day, leave:Maybe raise a family,
When I'm gone, I hope you'll see,
How happy she made me,
For I'll be there, in my daughter's eyes.

Michael fought back the tears as he placed his cheek on top of his daughters head. Why did life have to be so painful sometimes, couldn’t there be something that he could do to take away her pain at least somewhat.

“Hold on one second.” Michael tore out of the room leaving Maggie standing there confused, he came back in seconds later holding something in his hand.

“What’s that?” A curious expression on her face.

“Well, it’s something that your Grandma Amy gave to me a long, long time ago and I’ve been holding on to it for you until the right time... its a diary your mom kept when she was around your age, I think that this will let you have your own memories of her, in her words from her perspective.” Michael answered as he handed her a small leather bound book.

The smile on her face made his heart lurch and his eyes mist up again, he saw Maria there, in the curve of her cheek, in the light of her eyes... he saw it all there in his daughters eyes.

The End