Roswell Fanatics

Before You Leave



Title Before You Leave
Disclaimer This is a work of fiction inspired by the book series and television series Roswell by Melinda Metz and Jason Katims, respectively. No infringement is intended.
Pairings and Category Canon, CC: A/I, M/M, M/L
Rating Teen
Summary Alex finds a way to say goodbye before he leaves.
Author's Note All events up until 'Heart of Mine' (the Prom Episode from Season Two) have transpired - Max saved Liz, Tess came to Roswell, Nasedo has been killed, and Max kissed Tess.


Chapter 1

Liz Parker crossed off the bright red headline in her planner that read, “Chemistry Project,” and smiled briefly. It felt good to get some of her homework finished. The project was worth twenty percent of her final grade, and she was pleased that she had finished it before the deadline which was three weeks away. She rolled onto her back and let the heavy textbook slide off her lap.

It was rare for even Liz to finish something so early in advance, but she liked the freedom that followed it. Her eyes focused on the ceiling, and slowly she let her eyes drift over to the dresser, to the picture and to them.

Max Evans was gazing at her in wide eyed fascination, like a guy who couldn’t believe his luck. And in that picture Liz looked like a precious gem.

Liz brushed the hair out of her eyes and frowned, “I was the world to him,” she thought, “and I’m sure of that because he told me just as much. And now he’s with…”

The sharp ring of the telephone broke the anger that was beginning to boil inside, and Liz reached over to the end table to pick it up.

“Hey, Liz, how are you?”

“Maria? It’s like twelve-ish!” Liz gushed, glancing at her alarm clock.

“Well, yes! I’m surprised I’m back this early. Michael was just perfect tonight. Apparently that woman was giving him dance lessons, and he was kind of shy about it, but it was so sweet that he took lessons for me! I guess I was jealous over nothing. After we finished dancing, he walked me home under the stars. It was just like a snapshot out of a movie. I kept waiting to wake up, but everything continued perfect like nothing I’ve ever known.”

Liz could almost hear Maria smiling as she replayed the night. But, as excitement wore off, Maria began edging towards the real reason she called.

“So, how was your night, Liz? Did you go back to Max? And by the way, I’m so sorry I ditched … ”

“It’s fine, Maria. I’m just…I’m glad you had a good time.” Liz pressed her finger over a tear, wiping it away.

Liz could hear Maria breathing during the pause that ensued before she decidely said, “I’ll be over in twenty.”

“No! No, it’s fine. Maria, I’ll see you tomorrow. We’ve got the graveyard shift, so I’ll tell you everything then… I just don’t feel like anything right now. I feel …”

“Shattered, confused, furious, empty?”

“And all at once,” Liz agreed. She loved Maria for always knowing what to say.

“Okay, Lizzie-bee, but tomorrow –“

“Yeah, I promise,” and Liz replaced the phone, and she sank into the folds of her bed.

Helplessness wore off a few minutes later, and angrily Liz punched her pillow. She cried, “Why!” as if she could illicit some response, as if Max could ever give her a good reason to explain why he was kissing someone else.

Liz rubbed her temples vigorously to expel the coming headache. Then, she turned off her lamp and eased under her comforter.

As soon as she closed her eyes, a rush of images washed over her.

“Liz, what would I do without you?” he whispered, hugging her tight.
A playful grin erupting over Liz’s face as he threw a pillow at her, and leaped at her to tickle her hard until she almost couldn’t breathe.
Liz and Maria crooning, “Pinch me, because I’m still” while he rocked back and forth and his hands strummed madly.
A tiny brown haired boy dressed as Peter Pan divvies up the rest of the candy with Liz, but keeps the KitKat bars.
Maria at her right, him at her left. They each hold one of Liz’s hands as her grandmother’s body is lowered into the earth.

Liz slowly opened her eyes and she could clearly hear the words “Remember me. Goodbye,” as if he was pressed on her into a fierce hug, whispering them in her ear.

Feedback
Micheala141 - Thank you!


Chapter Two

Maria frowned when she pressed the phone into the receiver and hung up. Though this wasn’t the first time she had a conversation like this with Liz before, this one bothered her a little bit. The last time had been last year she heard the devastation in Liz’s voice had been after she caught a glimpse of Max fervently kissing Tess outside of the Crashdown in the pouring rain, moments after he had apologized to her. She remembered Lizzie had been ready to give up on the situation.

Maria had the feeling that this time it wouldn’t be as easy to push everything away. It was no secret that Max and Liz wanted each other, and that things were changing between them. It was uncanny though how intense Liz’s connection was with Max and vice-versa. Several times during their shifts together, Liz would stop whatever she was doing - cleaning the milkshake machine or serving a customer - to watch Max come in. His soulful eyes would lock with hers before he quickly looked away, and she’d drop dishcloths clumsily to make it seem as if she wasn’t dizzy from just looking at him.

Maria had realized how deep the connection went when she was talking to Liz once. It was during one of the rare moments of complete honesty with the very personal stuff that it came up. They were watching a rerun of a Friends episode when Liz stuck a spoonful of mint chocolate chip in her mouth and said, “I wish we had the six-best friends things going on.”

Maria sat up from where she lay outstretched on the couch to get a better look at her friend. She said, “Liz, we do though. There are six of us, and we’re – ”

“No, but you see we’re not friends.” Maria watched in fascination as the scientist in Liz began to take over, summing up the entire mess succinctly by saying, “We’re lovers first and foremost – three couples fused together by one terrible event.”

And she continued, “There isn’t anything Isabel couldn’t look into Alex’s eyes for and get an immediate ‘yes.’ And, if there is ever a crisis, you’d immediately cave into Michael. And, before ... everything, I would have done anything for Max."

Maria didn’t deny it because she knew it was true. So, instead she crawled up onto the couch beside Liz, and promised, “I’ll cave into you first next time, okay?”

Liz then sunk into Maria's strong arms, and between sobs, Liz complained, "I can still feel him - I can feel when he's near, when he's in pain, and when he shuts me out! It's not fair!"

For once Maria had no words of comfort to offer Liz so she just held her best friend until Liz had cried herself to sleep. And that had only been a week ago. Maria had a sinking feeling that going to the prom with Max, of all people, was not the cure.

She shook her head firmly, and started to take off her corsage and high heels. Her perfect night with Michael now had a bitter aftertaste in her mouth. These Czechs have such a weird effect on us, she thought. When will things finally get back to normal?

She smiled. Normal was Liz’s word. But it was true. As much as tonight had been perfect, normal was far from anything she’d use to describe yesterday and tomorrow.

Nothing was certain right now because everything was up in the air, and as sweet as Michael had been, whatever was going with Max and Liz was a dangerous foreshadowing of what would inevitably happen to herself. It scared Maria; she didn't want to be hurt by love anymore.

But, Alex…He was lucky. Though he complained sometimes that it sucked ot be stuck in the weird limbo of friends-who-want-something-more, Maria realized he was safer there. It was safer to want from afar than to be too close, and too far in. If anything, she was next in the long pathway of broken hearts.

Maria reached over to the top of her nighttable, found her retainer case, and put in her retainer before blowing out the last candles. Then she settled into a deep sleep, and began casting aside the weights of her world one by one.

As soon as Maria started to relax, she subconsciously realized that Michael was not the feature star of tonight's film. Maria found herself instead on a stage before a darkened room. The only telltale sign that there were people in the audience watching her was the glow of everyone's cigarettes that shone like beads and the curls of smoke that curled upwards.

Maria looked down at what she was wearing, and saw a gorgeous white cocktail dress and light blue high heel pumps. She could feel that her hair was off of her shoulders and secured tightly at the nape of her neck.

The Maria in this dream was more confident, and she easily turned to her
right, and told Alex, "the key of E-flat please," and he winked back at her.

She listened to the familiar introduction before taking a breath and beginning:

When all the world is a hopeless jumble
and the raindrops tumble all around,
heaven opens a magic lane.
When all the clouds darken up the skyway,
there's a rainbow highway to be found,
leading from your window pane
to a place behind the sun,
just a step beyond the rain

Alex then pounded on the keys as he reached the chorus:

Somewhere over the rainbow
way up high,
there's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.

Maria smiled when the crowd began murmurring appreciatively. She continued the rest of the ballad in her trademark sultry voice, and she was careful to hit every high note gracefully without pushing.

At the end, the club went wild. People were pounding on the floor with their feet and their chairs. Some of the onlookers yelled excitedly, "Yeah, girl," "Wow," and "Amazing."

Maria's eyes looked searchingly through the crowd to see if anyone else she knew was there. But, there was no one. It was only until Alex slipped his hand into hers that she realized he was the only one here for her.

The realization of how great they had done hit her, and she jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly. She could feel Alex slowly pull away after a minute, and the deafening cheers of the crowd was muted suddenly as he whispered in her ear, "Now, it's all on you. You're on your own."

As Alex stepped back, she heard the crowd's cheers resume. She stumbled downstage to receive their applause, and when Maria looked back to her right, Alex was gone.


lyrics by E. Y. Harburg from Harold Arlen's Somewhere over the Rainbow

Author's Note
I'm updating too quickly, right? It's just that I'm home alone sick, and I'd prefer writing to watching Seventh Heaven reruns.


Chapter Three

The shrill sound of Liz's alarm clock reaffirmed that she was in fact awake, it was morning, and everything that had just transpired was a dream and nothing more. But it felt so real, she thought.

There was no way though that any of that could have been real. She had just seen Alex six, no maybe eight hours ago. He swept Isabel off her feet at prom. And, the last time Liz had seen him was before she had gone outside and seen Max ... and Tess.

With a sinking feeling, Liz felt it all coming back to her...Max kissed Tess, Max KISSED TESS!

But, despite how many times she reminded herself that what she saw was true, she didn't want to think about it any longer.

Liz sat up in her bed, and looked across her room at the window. “I was wrong, she thought,” he isn't here. “There’s no apology, and he’s not here pining.”

She knew that they had ended things last night, and she even liked to think that they had ended it indefinitely, but it didn't mean that she didn't love him still. Still loving him was very different from loving him whole-heartedly. Loving him whole-heartedly required too much effort. And by loving only his memory now she could choose to remember the good moments only. She preferred it this way because loving him straight forwardly was only a lie because before long something, or someone else would come between them.

She got up to take a shower before jumping into her uniform. As she straightened her the angle of her ponytail and fixed her headband, in the mirror’s reflection, she could see her black dress from last night hanging over her computer chair.

She frowned at the irony of it - last night she had been dancing under the fake discoball with Max, and that was what it had all been - fake. The night had not lasted.

Beside her dress, Liz could also see the pair of white socks from last night. It was weird for a gorgeous black dress that cost over $150 to be paired with a cheap pair of rented socks she had inadvertedly taken home.

Her regrets of the night before dispelled as soon as she saw Sean. His eyes teased her as he watched her walk towards him in her dress and heels.

"Was it a wreck?" he asked.

"No, it just wasn't for me."

"I have socks for you," he teased.

"Then hand them over," she said.

Liz bounded down the stairs two at a time. She was opening her locker when Maria swung open the side door.

"Liz," Maria asked, "What's up?"

She looked over at her best friend, "Maria, you look awful."

"Well, thanks, Liz. That's just what a girl wants to hear. "

Liz smiled distractedly. She had forgotten his picture was still in her locker. He was standing behind her and his arms were wrapped tightly around her in a completely natural hug. Anyone who didn't know Max well would doubt it was the shy guy they saw everyday.

For in that moment, Max didn't look shy at all. He looked like he was completely in love with the girl he was holding. He looked happy.

And, with a pang of regret, on some level, Liz realized he was still happy. Even though she had shattered his heart last night, he was now happy. He had Tess.

Liz didn't even want to think that he and Tess had been together or on some level close before she'd agreed to go to prom with him. That would be too much to bear.

"Liz!" Maria exclaimed.

She broke out of her reverie, ripped the picture off of her locker door, and turned to Maria. "What?"

Maria looked down at the picture in Liz's hands. "You know, chica, you can keep that. You don't have to get rid of -"

Liz looked directly at her, and said, "No, I don't want it. I can't...I just can't."

She balled up the picture in her fist, and threw it absentmindedly at the garbage can.

Then Liz turned on her heel, and said sharply, "Deluca, let's go, it's time for our shift."

Outside of the double doors, the Crashdown was buzzing. There were several small groups of their schoolmates sitting at different tables. They were still dressed in their prom clothes. Maria guessed they wanted pancakes to sober them up before they headed home.

She saw Isabel, Michael, and Max in one of their booths. Or, rather she saw the backs of Michael's and Max's heads. She could see Isabel's face, and she also saw Isabel's eyes light up as Alex reached their table and slid in beside her.

Maria grabbed Liz's wrist and she gestured towards them. Liz looked up from her order book and saw Isabel and Alex holding hands.

"Weird," they squealed to each other.

"You know what, though," Maria paused as she snuck another glance at Alex and Isabel, "I'm happy for them."

"Yeah, me too," Liz sighed.

"Hey, Maria? I had the strangest dream last night." Liz said, and she dropped her voice to a whisper, "It was about Alex."

"You say that as if you were shocked. Now tell me, do your dreams always happen to feature a certain dark-haired, kind Czech?"

Liz giggled and poked her, "I'm serious. And, to answer your ridiculous question, sometimes my dreams feature other people. Anyway, it was weird. I didn't actually see him. I just had flashes of him, and all the times we spent together, sometimes with you, sometimes just me and him. It's like as if he were making a connection with me and making me remember. But, the weirdest part is what I remember him saying, you know, at the end. He told me to remember him, and he told me goodbye."

For the first time since Liz retold the dream, she glanced over at Maria, only to see her own expression of awe mirrored in Maria's of panic. She vaguely realized Maria was still clutching her wrist, and she felt how Maria's hands had suddenly gotten cold.

Liz watched as Maria dropped the plate she had been holding. The kids their age began clapping and cheering. Liz's Dad poked his head out from the order window in the kitchen with a worried expression on his face. Liz could feel Max's eyes on her and the weight of his concern even though he was across the room.

Liz reacted quickly though. She grabbed Maria's hands and raced through the front doors of the Crashdown with her. She wasn't surprised to hear Maria's footsteps at the same pace as her own or that she could hear Maria crying.

It didn't even matter to her how weird they looked as they ran down Main Street with tears streaming down their cheeks.

Before You Leave

Author's Note
I’m sorry that I took three days to update, but I was having trouble with what would come next, whose perspective I would switch to, what people were going to be thinking. I'm not progressing the storyline very far, but I'm switching perspectives. I hope to update tonight with a more meatier post

Feedback
Cocogurl – I’m really glad you like it.
Micheala141- No harm ever came from a wee bit of spoiling!
begonia9508 – Yeah, I really like the way it’s started too. I did not expect it to start like this, but I am pleased with the results.
FaithfulAngel24- That was my favorite part to write. And, you know what, it came the most naturally.

Chapter Four
“Good morning, brother of mine!” Isabel called brightly as she burst into Max's room.

Max was sprawled across the width of his bed, and his legs drooped over the edge of the mattress. The room was very dark because his curtains were drawn, and what little light there was created shadows in the corners. He did not stir, though.

Isabel sauntered towards his window and pushed the curtains to the sides. A ray of the New Mexico sunlight shot out like a laser onto the carpet, piercing the dark gloom of Max Evan’s bedroom.

She spun around when he grunted, “What are you doing, Izzy?” He turned his head to look at his alarm clock, and replied, "It's seven thirty in the morning."

Isabel stood directly in front of him and she beamed, “It’s time to get up!”

“Why?” he snapped.

“Because I told Michael that we could all go to the Crashdown for a light breakfast.”

He groaned, again, and rolled over slowly. Max was just about to disagree because the last place he wanted to be right now was where she worked. However, something inside him melted at the prospect of her changing her mind, so he hid his excitement by shrugging, “I guess I can do that.”

Isabel smiled serenely at his retreating form as he made his way to the bathroom. She knew it was only because a small brunette might be serving their booth that he wanted to go, but she liked having Max Evans wrapped around her finger.

She went back into her room for one final flip of her golden mane. Then she changed the color of her lipgloss from clear to a sheer strawberry by waving her index finger over her mouth.

Then Isabel reached to her shoes, touching the heels, and she concentrated her energy into shortening her heels from two inches to a kitten heel height of one inch.

Alex was only a little bit taller than her, and it was rare to find guys that were within two inches of her height. She liked to be a little shorter than Alex. It made it easier for her to look up and into his eyes.

She couldn't wait to see Alex at the Crashdown this morning; he promised her he'd come, but seeing him now, especially after last night was so much more meaningful than when she had been playing games with him.

It was a new day. A new phase in her life had begun. A shadow of doubt entered quickly into her mind: what if he doesn't like the real me, or what if I can't let him in?

Isabel looked back at her reflection and she could see the uneven mix of doubt and anticipation. One obviously won her heart because just as quickly as those fears had entered her mind, she pushed them away.

A disgruntled Max had started blowing his horn. Isabel poked her head out of her window, and smiled condescendingly at him, "I'll be right there."

She teased her fingers in her hair one more time to make it look as if she had bedhead before smiling nervously, and heading out to the Jeep.

The ride to the Crashdown was quieter than usual. Isabel snuck a few peeks at Max's rigid form. He was watching the road very intently, and his hands didn't slip from the two-ten position for even a moment.

Isabel couldn't figure out what was going on with Max. He was up, he was down, and he was everything in between.

Admittedly, she knew the past few months had been incredibly hard from him. What little information she had extracted from his monosyllabic answers to her questions and the intent glances he threw Liz's way, she knew he had Liz on the brain more often than was probably healthy.

She loved her brother dearly, and she was immensely thankful for all that Liz had done to help them out in crunch times, she wanted him to be happy. . . she wanted both of them to be happy.

"We're here." Max announced tersely. He looked over at Isabel and watched her recover from her thoughts. She looked guiltily at him, and reached over to press his palm briefly, "Thank you," she said.

Max shifted unconfortably and nodded. She slipped out of the jeep and started walking towards Alex.

It hadn't been the first time that he had caught her staring out of the window when she was in his car. He wished he could tell her everything so that they could talk again. He didn't like the awkward silences between them.

But, as he watched her greet Alex, and pull him in for a kiss, he sadly acknowledged he was on his own.

Michael was standing in the shade beside Alex, and he slapped Max's hand as "hello". Max grinned. He was so predictable sometimes.

Alex held Isabel's hand, and released it only to open the door. Max and Michael trailed in behind them. Max had been just about to turn towards Michael to say that it was going to be a long day.

However, uncharacteristically, Michael's eyes were darting around the room, looking for his girl, Maria.

Isabel and Alex were still holding hands when Max slipped in across the table from them. He was whispering something in her ear before he squeezed her palm and walked out of the diner.

"Where's he going?" Max asked curiously.

Isabel was glowing from ear to ear as she replied coyly, "He says he's got something for me."

Michael plumped down on the plastic booth beside Max, and jokingly poked Max, "I don't think it's going to last."

Isabel's face immediately fell, and she balled up a napkin and threw it at Michael. Max couldn't resist laughing because Michael had no idea what pain he might be in.

The one time it had snowed in Roswell almost eight years ago, Max and Isabel had been caught up in the magic of the snow. They'd started a snowfight, and when it seemed no one was winning, Max remembered fondly that Isabel had tampered with her ammo; she'd added heat to the balls or cool air to make them pack more of a punch.

"Ouch!" he whined, "That hurt."

She smiled triumphantly. "You know what, Michael, I am happy. I am so happy right now. For once in a long time things feel right."

His eyes instantly softened though, and he agreed, "I know what you mean. Things are good."

Max stared at Michael as his normally incoherent best friend laced some words together, "I like being with her. I like making her smile. And, it's nice to have something outside of the --"

"Chaos of our lives," Isabel finished. They both locked eyes and started nodding together. She tore her eyes away for a second and witnessed the guilt, then regret, then pain that washed over Max's face.

'What was going on?' she wondered.

She lifted her eyes momentarily and saw Maria and Liz coming out of the backroom chef doors of the kitchen. Maria was glowing just as much as Isabel had been this moments ago, but she saw Liz's face fall as her eyes wandered over to their table.

Isabel didn't have time to really react though, so she pushed the snapshots of Max's hurt and Liz's pain to the back of her mind, because Alex was back. Her guy was back.

She kept her attention on him as he turned to her, and listened intently.

"So, Isabel, you know that restaurant on the corner of Pasadena and South Broadway, the new one that opened."

She looked at him thoughtfully before a giggle burst from her, "You mean that incredibly romantic French one?" she replied, and she lifted her eyebrows playfully.

Michael was gagging from across the table, and reaching for an invisible water glass. Max began pantomizing the act with him, and poured him some relief.

Isabel didn't turn to them though.

"I was wondering if you'd like --"

"Yes," she cut him off.

He smiled. It still fazed him that it remained tough for him to talk to Isabel, but seeing her smile always made it worthwile. "I'll pick you up at sev--"

Alex didn't get a chance to finish because everyone heard a plate break on the floor.

Isabel frowned, and rolled her eyes as everyone began childishly applauding the disruption. She craned her neck to see where the sound had come from. Without being surprised, she saw that it was Maria who had dropped it.

Michael began to get up to rush to her side but before he even got the chance, Liz was pulling her out of the Crashdown.

Before You Leave

Author's Note
Feedback
Sternbetrachter – Thanks.
Mt Gazer - Your first question will be answered in this part. And, the what is up with Alex part I'm going to unravel bit by bit. And, by the way, I love authoring now just as much as reading and commenting other people's works. Apparently I was missing out!
Cocogurl - For now, it seems like M/M's and A/I's relationships are more one dimensional than M/L's but only time will tell. And I’m not sure if I want to let Max off the hook too quickly…
Sunshine6258-Thanks.
Begonia9508- I’d hope so, too.
Majiklmoon-Thank you, that’s really sweet.
Katydid-Thanks.
I'm sorry I took so long to update :/ But, school was ridiculously crazy this week...Anyway, no more excuses; here's chapter five:

Chapter Five
Both girls were panting when they stopped behind the tea shop on Main Street and Fourth Avenue. The alley they were in was much darker and cooler than where they had been running, and they felt spent.

Maria's hands trailed along the rough wall of the tea shop as she crumpled. She left her feet firmly planted because though she was now sitting and no longer running, her hands were still trembling and she needed to ground herself.

Liz was standing in front of her, and she was beginning to pace. Maria smiled faintly. Only Liz could take charge so quickly in a situation like this.

What did this mean, Liz wondered. Why were she and Maria both having dreams about Alex. Unless Maria didn’t have a dream. She let her eyes rest on her best friend, and she took in the picture of Maria leaning over her legs, her head buried in her lap.

But this wasn’t like all of the times Maria had done the same thing at her house when they were hanging out. The way her bubbly best friend was hunched over did not spell fatigue; Maria was frightened.

"Chica, you must think I'm going crazy, right?" Maria sighed warily.

"No," Liz replied emphatically. She slid into a niche between Maria and a trash can, and put her arm around her best friend, "No, I don't think so at all."

Maria’s breathing subsided to a normal pattern. She lifted her head and combed her fingers through her hair.

Liz carefully asked, “What happened in your dream?”

Maria sighed heavily, “Well, I was on a stage, and I was singing the “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” song – the jazz version of the Wizard of Oz version. And, Alex was playing the piano for me, and I was wearing this gorgeous dress, and my hair was piled up high. It was in this small dark club, and my voice was raspy but sweet. I could just feel this incredible glow run through me while I was singing and it felt good.”

Liz had closed her eyes and was smiling when Maria finished.

Maria continued, “And after it was all done, he gave me this huge hug, and told me ‘Now it’s all on you’ before he, the stage, the crowd, and the lights faded out.”

“Did he say anything else?” Liz asked gently.

Maria was caught off guard by the last question because she knew it would be the right thing to do to tell Liz everything that had happened. But something about Alex’s last words to her felt sacred.

So, she gulped and she did something she had promised never to do to her best friends, she lied: “No, nothing else.”

“Was anyone else in the crowd, like me or Michael?”

This question caught Maria off guard again because it was the second time she realized that the pain of their absences, however ethereal the dream had been, stung a little bit, but not nearly as much as she had thought it would.

Somehow it had been okay that no one had been there for her, that she had been on her own.

Well, Maria thought, one more smaller and connected lie won’t hurt.

“You hugged me as soon as I got backstage.”

Liz beamed, “Really? It sounds like you did a fantastic job, ‘Ria.”

“You know, I think I did.”

The girls sat quietly for a few minutes. Maria was having a double conversation in her mind – one part of her was pushing her to tell Liz everything and another part of her was reminding her that she hadn’t been in the dream. And since that was the case, maybe Liz wasn’t meant to know the dream at all. Maybe the only person was Alex. Maybe he held the answers.

“I think we should talk to Alex.” Liz said, taking the words right from Maria’s mind.

On some level, Maria knew it was the next logical step, but she wanted to talk to Alex on her own. So she replied, “No. I don’t want to see him right now.”

“Why? I’m sure he wouldn’t get weirded out by the dream. But, we did leave the Crashdown really weirdly. I think we should head back to finish our shifts, and then we can go straight to Alex’s…I’m sure he’s not there now. I’ll bet Isabel took him out.”

“No,” Maria shook her head, “He’s there.”

Liz shifted uncomfortably because she knew who Maria was talking about. Her eyes had clouded over from the warm brown to a darker melancoly shade. “Michael?”

“Michael,” she confirmed.

She bit her lip because she knew words would either come off as a measure of attack and bring out an angrier Maria, or would produce no effect. Liz couldn’t decide which was the bettter of the two options and she was surprised when Maria spoke.

“Just say it.”

“I thought everything was…” and she caught Maria’s eyes before she continued, “perfect.”

“So did I, but,” Maria paused. She was trying to sort out her thoughts because everything should be perfect yet Michael hadn’t been in the dream last night. And, the words Alex had said were ringing in her ears. She wasn’t sure what to make of that yet.

“You’re scared it might not be real.” Liz finished hesitantly.

Maria was quiet for a moment before she agreed, “Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, Maria DeLuca scared of love.”

The statement was too close to the truth, for both girls. Liz was just as scared as Maria was. And though she knew she should help Maria bounce back from this awful time, she let Maria lean on her and she cried along with her best friend.

Before You Leave

Author's Note
I'm sorry that I took so long to update, and once again. I'm done with the first trimester, and today I found out my grades: two A-'s, one A, one B+. Now, I have more time to...fanfic write. So, Parts 7 and 8 are in the works, I'll probably post them within the next week. Also, check out the link in my signature. I'll be doing a Author's Chat on December 2nd at Roswell-Heaven. Now on to the:
Feedback
begonia9508 - great, I'm glad you like it!
tequathisy - I'll admit...Originally I was going to leave the story line at just that...just premonitions, but the more that I'm getting into writing the story, the more I want to do something more complex. I promise though that things will unravel more in the next two or three parts, extending beyond the small time and window frame you've been seeing.
xmag - Well, Alex is alive, and those messages are just that, messages. Maria needs to figure out what Alex's message means; we always have the freedom to interpret the message for ourselves. But, I think I need to update that summary.

Chapter Six
As usual, Michael Guerin was out of the loop. He listened dejectedly to the back-and-forth questions Max and Isabel fired at each other.

Surprisingly, Whitman wasn’t saying anything. If he was having any reaction at all to the weird antics of Liz and Maria, he was doing a good job burying those reactions. His face looked like a blank slate.

When Max finished with, “I’ll bet something’s wrong with Maria,” and pointedly looked at Michael, Michael got up angrily, and growled, “Nothing’s wrong with Maria and me. I’m outta here.”

As Michael flung open the double doors, he heard the first words Whitman had uttered since the incident, “I’ll see you at seven, right?”

The New Mexico sun was raging down on the sidewalks more than usual. Michael could feel the rays rip through his collared shirt and hit his skin.

He made his way to the park in the middle of the town. All through his walk, a certain blond minx stayed with his thoughts, but he wanted to think a little bit before he started looking for her.

Michael sat on top of the bench in the west side of the park. It was a school day for the elementary schools, so he wasn’t too worried about a ball accidentally being kicked in his general direction, and being asked to throw it back. Also, most kids and their parents disliked this end of the park because it was a little woodsy.

It shouldn’t be too hard to find Liz and Maria. Plus, from the way that they had peeled out of the Crashdown, he knew they might be too panicked to run very far.

Panic – that was what he had seen flashing in Maria’s eyes when he began to make his way towards her. And the more and more possibilities entered Michael's mind, the more he wanted to find her.

He was surprised when he saw her. It sometimes felt like magic when he could think of her, and, she would be standing before her.

Her legs were shuffling on the sidewalk, but her upper body looked to Michael as if she were floating. She was so still and composed in her face, and shoulders that Michael blinked twice to check that she was real.

Michael forgot he was near her house. But, she had pulled him here, hadn't she?

He had always shrugged off the sappy words of Maxwell that he could "feel" Liz, that they were "connected".

And, not for the first time, he had moved closer to the magnetic pull of a Miss Maria DeLuca.

He thought, forlornly, that he had thought they were getting closer. Though she bickered with him as much as she had ever since he had pulled her pigtails in the fifth grade, Michael now knew it was just banter - that he could go to her if anything ever went wrong.

He hoped it was true for her too. He hoped Maria would come to him now.

Michael jumped off of the bench and moved towards her.

"Hey," he said.

She didn't slow down, nor did she really look at him. Instead, she monotonously replied, "Hey, yourself."

They didn't speak during the three minutes in which Maria lead the way to her house. He was walking a little bit behind her, and he watched as her hands shook when she lifted the key to the lock.

"Hey, it's okay," he pointed out gruffly, "I can do it."

Michael took the keys from her cool hands, and unlocked the front door.

He was half-expecting an angry Miss DeLuca to come charging out from behind one of the many beaded curtains, waving a pot, or better still a skillet at his head.

The house was eerily quiet, though. Instead of the usual banter that flowed effortlessly between them, Maria hadn't said anything since they came in. She was now sitting on the couch in front of him, her hands clasped in between her anchored feet. Her eyes were round and pensive, but at the same time frozen. He couldn't see any emotions in them.

Michael knew he could sometimes get lost in the pool of her rich brown eyes, but he didn't sense that danger today. She was coolly detached from him, as if he were connected to everything she was scared of.

Was she scared, Michael found himself wondering. She certainly had been at the Crashdown...but, was she scared now?

Michael was feeling some very strange vibes emanating from the girls across from him. She was too unreadable, and Michael didn't like that she was shutting him out.

"Michael, we need to talk." she said.

"Yeah." He agreed. He began rubbing his eyebrow. What could he say to make her stay. He was almost certain that she wanted to leave him.

"I want to take it slower," Maria hesitantly admitted as she lifted her eyes to meet his.

"Slower," Michael echoed.

"Yes. Slower. It's just that we were apart this summer and for the beginnig of the year, that I just don't want to rush into anything again."

"I thought we were taking it slow."

"Really? Because I thought we were moving quickly".

"So, do you want a break?" Michael asked the unbroached topic. He saw her hesitate again, and blink twice to jolt herself back to reality and the crisis at hand.

She nodded with her eyes riveted to a piece of stray thread on the carpet.

What are you not telling me, Michael asked himself, yet again, because when he kissed her cheek her skin felt clammy and cold. And the only vibe he felt as he was leaving was guilt.

Before You Leave
Author's Note:
Hey, everyone, I'm back, and considerably calmer. Here is chapter seven, and I have to say, even I was surprised by how this turned out.

Feedback
Begonia9508- Yeah, Maria already knows he's an alien, and she knows she's entrenched in the alien abyss. This picks up after Heart of Mine, the Prom episode.
Xmag- Haha, yep, she so needs one.
Tequathisy- Here's the more.
FaithfulAngel24- You and Xmag are too much.
LovinRoswell-Thank you!
Ken r- Thank you!

Chapter Seven
Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

Diane Evans lifted her eyes to the clock once more, and she reached her hand across the table. Isabel’s eyes were glistening when she finally made eye contact with her mother. She admitted dryly, “I suppose he’s not coming.”

She couldn’t say anything else because it broke her heart to see her beautiful daughter stood up for a date she had been so excited for. Diane could tell which dates Isabel looked forward to. There were the dates that Diane knew about; the ones that she casually worked into their conversations. For those, Isabel would get ready at her own pace, choosing her clothes and makeup thoughtfully. The boys would come over at eight, and Diane would make small talk with them for twenty minutes. Then, Isabel would come in and she’d leave her date breathless as her heels clacked down the stairs signaling her grand entrance. But, Diane had never seen her daughter get ready for a date of this caliber.

When Isabel came home with Max at four, she lingered in the kitchen like she had something she was nervous about. Diane washed the dishes as she listened to Isabel's review of her day. She filtered some of her daughter’s chatter, clinging to the important details and one happened to be that Isabel mentioned that an Alex was coming over at seven:

“Alex, huh?” Diane said loudly, interrupting Isabel’s tirade on the cholesterol level in pancakes.

“Yeah, Alex. He’s taking me to Della Rorie on South Street.”

“I hope you kids have fun.” Diane pulled off her gloves, and turn to her daughter glowering and with a hint of anticipation in her voice, “Now isn’t this the same Alex that you went to prom with last night?”

Isabel’s cheeks reddened and the color spread across her collarbone as she replied hotly, “Yep. It’s me and Alex again. He wanted to try this new restaurant with me.”

Diane turned to the stove to check on the macaroni, and when she turned back to Isabel to question her relationship with Alex further, Isabel was gliding towards the staircase.

“So, where are you going, honey?”

“I need to get ready,” she called back.

Diane chuckled as her eyes fell over the four, three, and zero on the kitchen timer.


Now, the hands of the clock read 9:55.

“Mom, may I have some macaroni, please?”

“Sure,” Diane replied.

She hesitated before she met Isabel’s eyes, “Do you want to change?”

Isabel choked, “I think I do.”

She scraped her chair on the parquet floor as she stood, and Diane listened to the ticking of the clock again.

When Isabel reached the top of the stairs, her vision felt cloudy. The hallway vibrated as she leaned her hands on the wall to steady herself. Diane had redecorated two weeks before, and she had filled the hallway with “ambience lights”.

Isabel knew that she only needed a few more steps before she reached Max’s room. But when she stood where the door always was, there was a black and white family portrait on the wall instead. She blinked twice as she studied each person’s face. The smiles were familiar, but as she tried to remember how the photographer had gotten her to smile so widely, her mind pushed back at her, reassuring her that it did happen.

After she stared at it for a few moments more, she stepped back from it and walked towards her own room. Her room was on the other side of the hallway, by the stairs and the window. She shivered as she opened her own door, and her eyes snapped to the window. When she walked shakily to it and reached her hands out to it, her eyes refocused again as her cool fingertips touched the closed frame.

The hallway in front of her when she turned her back to the window stretched out to a place she couldn’t see. So, Isabel reached her hands out to her door.

A second after she closed the door, the room shook silently as a wave pulsed through it. The family portrait shook violently before it vanished. The window shook in its frame as the panes slid open. Max’s bedroom door appeared where the portrait was, and so did Tess. She stepped into the light, and smiled triumphantly. That was too easy, she thought.

She tugged at her black sweater, making it longer with each yank until it fell over her belt. Tess cringed at the constriction, but she hoped it was chaste enough for Max. The last thing she wanted was for Max to pull away, especially not after all she had done to get him.

She glanced at Isabel’s door; it was dark and solemn. She pressed her hands against the wall and breathed slowly, filtering out the white noise from what she needed to hear. Then she heard Isabel’s sobs and the creaking of her mattress.

“I’m sorry, Isabel,” she whispered, “It’s for your own good.”

Tess knocked twice on Max’s door before she turned the knob and went inside.

She wasn’t perturbed to see Max sitting expectantly on his bed. He was obviously thinking hard, but at least she hadn’t seen any flickers of doubt when he saw it was her. She saw his familiar smile, and Tess was starting to think that she liked seeing this greeting best of all.

Max was studying her instead. This was the girl he’d chosen. Even if the damage was repairable, he might be seeing her often.

“Hey,” she said.

“Tess, what are you doing here?”

“Your Mom let me in.” she answered. Max nodded, and made space for her to sit on his bed. He stared at the door Tess had closed when he hadn’t noticed. He counted the panels on the door, and he counted the colors of the carpet. He was looking anywhere but at Tess.

She positioned herself close to him to appear a good friend.

“I wanted to –”

“I don’t even know what to say. It all happened so quickly.” Max admitted.

“Max, I wanted to help you remember” Tess shifted so she was facing him more, and she put her hand on his before she continued with, “And, I want you to remember even more.”

He finally lifted his eyes to hers. He wasn’t sure yet if he liked blondes, and he wasn’t sure he could get used to her heart-shaped face. He began counting the flecks of gray and green in her eyes as he slipped into the body of another man, of another time, and of another place.

It was anywhere but here, and Max liked it.

Author's Note
Hi, everyone. First off I want to apologize for not updating this sooner. I had a million things I had to do instead, but look for another update before Christmas . It'll be my present to you. Happy Holidays!

Feedback
Begonia9508 - haha, no she didn't rape him. And, besides Max wasn't exactly fighting her.
Chanks_girl - Thank you!
Sternbetrachter - Haha, I'm glad you feel so strongly.

Chapter Eight
When Isabel reached her room, she peeled off every layer. She slipped into a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and her house slippers.

Then she scooped her hair into a messy bun, and she pulled her watch off her wrist because it felt constricting. When she sat down before the mirror at her vanity, she warily stared back at her swollen reflection.

She waved her hand slowly over her surface. The best advantage of her powers, she decided, were the circumstances it could fix.

By waving her hand over her puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks, her face was flawless once again, an empty canvas that bespoke nothing. And her eyes were vacant too.

Her Mom was still sitting at the table when Isabel rejoined her. Now, though, the table was set for two and there was even a single sunflower sticking out of a small red vase in the center.

A gentle scent tug at Isabel, bringing a wave of memories from her childhood. How, whenever she inhaled the simple scent, she felt her world filled with it. Maybe it could work still; she hadn’t wished upon a sunflower in so long.

She smiled gently at her Mom, and said, “Thank you.”

Diane’s eyes smiled wisely at Isabel when she met her eyes, and replied sincerely, “It was my pleasure. How has school been lately?”

Isabel lifted her eyes from the plate of meatloaf and potatoes, and she smiled gently. It was true – things lately had been so crazy that Isabel hadn’t found much time to tell her Mom what she’d been doing.

Her life wasn’t the same anymore, to simply put it. Nights she used to fill with parties at the quarterback’s house or at the at home games were spent with Michael and Max, chasing a dream that always felt lightyears ahead of their blind steps.

So Isabel answered the only way she could, “It’s good.”

“And, how has Max been lately?” Diane continued. She didn’t want to pry or push, even, but sometimes her children weren’t exactly forthcoming. Max had always been quiet, and if Diane had felt isolated from Isabel lately, the feeling was heightened whenever she saw Max now.

Isabel frowned and admitted, “I’m not sure actually.”

“He’s been so distant lately. You’ve been so distant.”

Isabel chose to ignore the last part, and she agreed lamely, “Something was bothering him before. I thought he was doing better, but now I’m not sure.” Her eyes naturally looked to the staircase leading up to her brother. It was ridiculous that he was so close but ever so far.

“I thought if he went to prom he’d feel better,” Diane added.

“I thought so too.”

Whenever her memories of last night replayed, Isabel could only remember Alex. How he held the small of her back, how for the first time she thought she might be his Ginger Rogers, how she was content to look back at him.

She vaguely remembered seeing Maria and Micahel pressed close to each other on the other side of the room, and later, dancing wildly to a techno song. She remembered seeing Kyle drag Tess from the gym from the corner of her eye. And, Liz Parker. She saw Liz Parker, and she’d seen her with and without Max.

At one point Liz was sitting at one of the small round tables, fiddling with her necklace, and staring at the shadows the table candles threw onto the cloth. Isabel hadn’t thought much of it at the time. Was it possible that it was all because of one girl? It had been in the months before. Did Liz do something else to break her brother’s heart? And why had Liz been so strange this morning? The recent events didn't add up.

“I’ll bet it was a girl,” Diane chuckled.

“Yeah,” Isabel laughed, “I’ll bet.”

“How much do you want to bet that it is?”

“Everything and anything.” Isabel continued and a smile spread across her face again. It had been their tradition since she was small to always answer that way. To meet every bet with all that you had; to meet every question wholeheartedly.

Diane watched as Isabel’s face softened. The careworn lines etched into her forehead were replaced with laughter crinkles that were sprinkled all over her face. Slowly, she realized, she was getting her daughter back.

Phillip came in through the back door in the kitchen and he looked up to see his two girls sitting at the table laughing and smiling. It was a good sight. It might be one that was unfamiliar in this house, but he was relieved to see it.

He reached to his wife and leaned close to brush her cheek with a gentle hello. He turned to Isabel and hugged her. “How are you?” he asked, phrasing his question more to Diane to say how did this happen.

Diane smiled serenly, “We’re fine. How was work?” she asked.

“It was pretty good. There’s a hearing tomorrow morning at nine and I finished writing my rebuttal at the office,” he explained.

Isabel smiled lightly. It was nice to listen to her parents talk about their everyday lives. It felt normal. But, her heart tightened when she saw their embrace, and the way they looked at each other. It felt too familiar and too distant at the same time. It was everything she wanted, but this time the bet had fallen through. Isabel didn’t win the everything and anything that came with love. It had left her as soon as she had known it. With a sinking feeling Isabel realized that even she thought Alex had rejected her. Like he had told her no to a question she hadn’t asked. A question of can you love me.

She realized her Dad was still speaking about the case and when his eyes stopped darting between her and her Mom, and focused on her, she abruptly yawned. “Hey, I’m going to turn in. I’ll see you for breakfast tomorrow, Dad?” she asked. It was routine that they have breakfast together, and Phillip returned her smile, nodding his head.

Isabel erased the lasting memories of the unfulfilled night by letting down her hair. Once she did, she sunk into the welcoming warmth of her comforter, and stubbornly brushed away the tear that was falling down her cheek.

It was very dark in her room, and a sliver of starlight cast a narrow shadow onto the carpet. Isabel stared out at the wall across from her, and she was clutching fistfuls of her sheets when her eyes closed wearily.

Author's Note
I'm sorry I stepped away for so long, but I reached a massive block with this next part and it's been through many revisions - I hope it isn't too much to stomach

Thanks everyone for reading, and for those of you who stopped by. Your responses are always so humbling and I appreciate it! - they make my days.
xmag Alex is coming out of the woodwork, don't worry.
begonia9508 Merry Christmas/Happy New Year to you too. Thank you!
sunshine6258 Thank you! Sorry I didn't come back sooner
Shiesty23 Lol, okay, thank you Shi! I hope you read on
ken_r Thank you!
cardinalgirl :2X: Aw, thank you!! Your last comment about my writing warmed my heart To your ?s, I'll answer only your first questions about Alex and Tess (respectively): Yes, he is and no she's not. And, I'm glad you picked up on that bit about Alex - it's tres important. And, yeah the banner's stunning! Thank Behrsgirl

Chapter Nine

The pulse grew fainter the longer she stayed away. But while Max was dazedly remembering his past, she felt a dull ache inside of her that began in her fingertips. When she looked down at her right hand, it glowed as if a light pulsed underneath her skin. As quickly as the unusual symptoms came they went.

“Wow,” Max breathed, “that was incredible.”

She stood abruptly, “Yeah, it’s like reliving it.”

He looked up at her heatedly, “It was like living everything again. I saw the country streetch before me, the neighboring palaces, the sun, and the two moons. I saw the glow of the moonshine, and the clear night sky. and we were standing on a balcony,” he continued, “and you said you had something to tell me. Do you remember what it was?”

Tess stared back at him, and she frowned. He wasn’t supposed to access all of his memories. Instead she answered cryptically, “Well, now you know how to recall, and the more you work on it, the longer you can stay in it.”

He nodded and she saw him processing. She went to the door and lingered by the frame, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Max.”

“Tess?” She looked at him patiently. “Thanks,” he admitted. “Thanks for everything.”

She nodded and smiled, “I’ve never been thanked for a kiss before.”

When she came into the hallway, Tess made her way to the window at the other side. She passed Isabel’s room as she went to it, and instantaneously, she felt the heat of a fire twisting inside her.

The pulse grew strong for a moment, so Tess paused at the door. And she listened carefully, but all she could hear were the labored breaths of a sleeping Isabel Evans.

*

The house was hers by all legal terms. Nasedo explained to her that years of surviving in this world had taught him how to leave the same footprints the humans did.

It wasn’t homey or familiar, but it was hers still. The foursquare didn’t know she still owned it. Swept up in the events in the wake of Nasedo’s death, Max’s first instinct had been to retaliate, Michael’s to stay away, and Isabel’s to question. So, she played her part and pretended to be lost and hurting. They had only assumed.

The light in the garage is still on, she noticed, so he mustn’t be finished yet. The mindwarping had been intense recently, but she always programmed it to end at specific points.

Tonight’s task had been a meager one, just cataloguing the previous information.

Tess felt something wasn’t right, so she walked even more hurriedly towards the front door. The house was dark inside and the only light was the glow of the moon pouring in throught the opened blinds. Tess made her way confidently towards the basement. The doorknob was cool to the touch, and the stairs creaked as they always had with each step she descended.

She gasped sharply when she saw the outstretched body of Alex on the ground. He looked as if he had collapsed without any warning. He was a few feet away from the computer, so he probably got up before he went down. His body looked spent and exhausted, and Tess felt that it was because he was unaccustomed to the stress of the mind-warps.

His mind is disintegrating, she mused. This was the part that made Antarians wary of anyone with a mind warp power; it had unusual potential to destroy the blocks that were already set up in someone’s mind. After repeated invasions, a mind could fall apart and crumble.

How much longer would his mind wage the battle between perception and actuality?

She could supress the actuality only a little bit longer. In time, the mind wouldn’t close her out for a few hours – it would spin recklessly.

Alex thought it contained a prophecy. That was only partly true though. There were other parts of the book that Tess needed more.

Nasedo told her it contained the map, the location of the key’s crystal, how to create the signature on the key, and how to get home. Nasedo didn’t know what the prophey was though.

Ancient eyes had forseen the destinies of the reincaranted royal four. Copied in the book weren’t just illustrations of the pairings and detailed accounts of how the hybrids were created. There were lines on what was so special about the hybrids, and what their worlds would see. The strange symbols held the key to her future but it was just that to her eyes, they were simply lines and strokes she wanted to make sense of but couldn’t...

Nasedo knew little. He was only a Protector, and he had not been invited into the inner Royal council of the Queen. No, Tess, smiled, the former Queen. Whoever she was, she had designed the book herself, planning for a rebirth admidst chaos.

Nasedo explained the complications to her. Her future had once been to reclaim the throne with the four square and bring peace to a much ravaged war nation. To learn that her future was altered by what was written in a book was frustrating, and of course ironic. How could someone have changed what was intended to be? Nasedo knew though that the prophecy itself didn’t include Tess. It was another reason for her not to stay. She needed to secure her own livelihood.

And the lingering taste of a life she wanted desperately was enough to make Tess continue what she was doing without remorse. This was her chance, no her right, Tess thought vehemently, to get home and claim her throne. Spoiled opportuinities over the past two years had only fueled her though with determination.

So Tess closed her eyes, and scrunched her face in willful concentration.

Reality jerked violently in front of her. She didn’t have to see the revolting process to know its steps – she knew it intimately. Years of practice with Nasedo had placed her on the receiving end also.

She began to reimagine the room before her, setting everything where it ought to have been. The psychic energy of the room was so strong that it dripped from the walls pooling nearest Alex. She brought him here twice a day, but each new day, she increased the dosage. As the room reordered itself, she heard the soft murmur of his voice, Alex’s voice as he let out a steady stream of incoherent coding.

She could see what was confusing him now. He had finished, but it had exhausted him. When she increased the level of the mindwarp and faced what he had seen, everything he was thinking was in the language; he was truly living it. She reordered what he had seen and understood in his mind, using her powers to stretch the threads of sanity and clarity.

Breathing labored and shallow, she opened her eyes to see Alex stirring before her. She went down to him quickly, and helped him up.

“Are you okay?” she asked concernedly.

He nodded and tried to rub his eyes, “I guess I was tired,” he told her.

She teetered back to the computer with him, with her hands holding some of his weight. She eased him back into the chair, and she returned his smile.

“How’s it going?”

“Good,” she said. “How’s the translation going?”

“It’s almost finished,” he answered, and he turned back to watch the river of color coding streaming up and down the screen.

*Edit: I fixed some grammar errors to make it flow more, sorry for any confusion or whuzzits before

Author’s Note
I hope the dialogue isn’t too hard to follow!
Feedback:
Sunshine6258 – Thank you! Don't worry, I wouldn’t do that to you!
Luna_Seer – Thank you. She really annoys you that much huh? And yes, she will.
Cardinalgirl – Thank you! I’m glad you’re enjoying it this much! The pulse won’t come up for a while, but the heat thing will be in this next part…see if you can find it
Begonia9508 – Lol, thank you
Ken_r – I think that’s my favorite part too – getting a reaction. And that’s so true about Tess!

Chapter 10

“Alex?” she called softly.

“I’m over here,” he answered.

He was sitting in a swirl of clouds, fingering the wispy boughs of thread in between his fingertips.

She curled up into a cloud opposite from him, and she grabbed a fistful of it, kneading it in her hands. “You didn’t come tonight.”

“I told you I wouldn’t. Were you surprised by how you felt?”

“It hurt a lot more than I expected it to.”

“I’m really sorry. Things aren’t right right now.”

“I know that, but it still hurt that you weren’t there.”

“Were you surprised?”

She paused, “Yes. I think I finally realized…”

“What?”

She stopped holding on to the edge of her cloud and went over to share his cloud, “I think I’m falling for you.”

“I think I fell for you a long time ago.”

“Will I see you tomorrow?”

“What does it matter if I tell you? You won’t –“

“Tell me.”

“It depends on how soon you leave.”

“And you won’t tell me who?”

“And what would be the fun in that? I like seeing you jealous.”

“Well, I don’t like being like this. I get sad, I get mad, and it all makes me red.”

He stopped smiling, “I told you I can’t tell you anything.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m not real.”

“You’re right here with me now.”

“But I won’t be much longer.”

“You keep telling me that. But then why do I keep seeing you?”

He didn’t answer.

“How do you know so much but at the same time so little?” she asked.

“Because in some ways, I’ve already passed from this world.”

“I would miss you so much if you did leave,” she admitted softly.

She didn’t have to turn to know that he was gazing at her thoughtfully. He didn’t stop looking at her though until her eyes met his.

“I know you will. But that’s why you have me here now, like this. Isn’t this better?” he asked.

She looked back at him with love shining in her eyes, “Yes it is. Will I still have this, when you…when you…”

She felt the weight of his palm against her cheek, and the way his hand could hold almost her entire face. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world. The warmth of it’s weight was the best comfort. “You can have me anytime.”

His hand cradled the side of her neck and he drew her close to him to lean on his chest. She didn’t hear a soft heartbeat underneath her – it was silent. The entire heaven that they called their haven was silent.

The cloud drifted as if a wind were blowing it. Out beyond them there were only more clouds. Below them the earth swayed like a clock’s pendulum to a beat unbenknowst to Isabel. She stared at it’s slow easy swings.

“It never stops.”

“I think it does.”

“Time stops for no one. But, you have to promise me you won’t stop.”

She sat up, “What do you mean?”

“I don’t want you to stop for me.”

“I can’t make any promises.”

The faint beep of her alarm way down in her little michrochosm of Roswell, of her small room sounded softly, filling the air.

He kissed her hand.

“I’ll miss you.”

“I’m still there.”

She faded in pieces, blending seamlessly into the clouds. He stood up from the bed the cloud had made just for them and proceeded to walk. It was all he did now. He waited until it stopped. Until the whirring inside of his head stopped. The last thing to go were her eyes, and she saw the retreating back of the man she loved most of all but would never get the chance to really love.

Isabel roused herself from her slumber and she groggily rubbed her eyes. She looked over across the room at the shirt she had lovingly chosen the night before, and the palette of eyeshadow she had carefully chosen. I can’t believe he didn’t show, she thought.