Roswell Fanatics

Decisions
Author: Greywolf
Banner by FrenchDreamer
AU with Aliens (but mostly Liz, at least at first), MATURE,

1/22/08

Disclaimer: The characters belong to Melinda Metz, Jason Katims, WB and UPN. They are not mine and no infringement intended. This is just for fun, people…...

Author’s note. This particular story was stimulated by a comment made by Michelle in Yonkers, agreeing with me that it was silly that near the end of the first season the writers had to start with stupid angst for the sake of angst things like Isabel’s concern about getting pregnant by Michael in a dream, the whole “I have to give up Max because of his destiny” nonsense, and it seems like it just got worse as time went on with Alex’s contrived death. Michelle made the comment that, with four teen love stories going on here, and the interaction with each other and the parents, there was plenty of room to find all the angst the show needed without taking the show down the angst for angst sake route. This story is, for me, HIGHLY EXPERIMENTAL, and it will NOT be updated as frequently as most of my stories usually are, perhaps one update every two to three weeks.

Engaging in life means taking risk. It’s easy to be perfect, if you don’t engage in life. If you do engage in life, you are going to, from time to time, make mistakes. The real test of character is not just how infrequently you make mistakes, but, even more, how well you handle the mistakes you almost certainly will make.

• 14 weeks earlier:
  
  It was the last day of Freshman year, at the school party. She had waited for almost forty-five minutes until she saw him alone. Isabel was off with her Ice Princess Posse buddies, and Michael had apparently gone to the men’s room. He had asked her to work with him on the science program he was putting on for the summer school junior high students, but now that they were finally alone, she had other discussion plans.
  
  There was going to be a dance and battle of the bands at UFOnics to celebrate the end of the school year, and she’d been dropping every hint she could to get him to invite her. But that was nothing new. Liz believed that somehow she’d probably loved him from that day in third grade when he and his sister got off the bus, but it had been OK just being friends then, because that was all third graders ever were. But it had changed in junior high school, …even there some boys and girls started pairing up…and it had been then that she’d started dropping hints….Oh, pretty damn subtle ones she’d admit. If he was the most shy kid in class, she was probably a close second. But she’d really thought when they’d become lab partners, that there was more to it than just friendship. There certainly was for her.
  
  He’d been the Prince Charming in every fairy tale dream she’d had since fifth grade, and as the onset of puberty had signaled unmistakably that she was becoming a woman, he’d also been the guy in every romantic dream or daydream she’d ever experienced and even the one whose head was on the other pillow in the few erotic dreams she’d had. But for all of that, they’d never really gotten close. She thought she’d caught him looking at her some times, with the same sort of wistful expression that she had when dreaming about what it might be like to be in a romantic relationship with him…but if she wasn’t reading something in to the look that wasn’t really there, something…shyness she guessed, was keeping him from ever taking that first step.
  
  Somehow, over the years, the anticipation had become so great…and this year, the reality had become so small, that she had finally come to a decision. ‘Roll the dice, Liz,’ she’d told herself. ‘As humiliating and devastating as rejection might be, it has to be better than never knowing. Doesn’t it?’
  
  “Max…”
  
  “Yes, Liz..?”
  
  “We’ve known each other now for seven years…and we’ve always been friends..”
  
  “Good friends, Liz..”
  
  “Good friends maybe, but not really…close…friends. This summer…I think I’d like it if we could hang out together sometimes..maybe go to the pool or lake together….just the two of us, not a whole big group.”
  
  The silence had gone on for an awkwardly long time. Finally he’d spoken…
  
  “I…uh…well, I don’t think that’d be a good idea, Liz.”
  
  She choked back tears and the humiliation of laying herself open for this rejection. But it was too late to back out.
  
  “Why not, Max? Other boys and girls go out. Why couldn’t we?”
  
  She could tell he was struggling with some inner turmoil. Why couldn’t he just say it? He felt something for her or he didn’t….it didn’t take that long to tell her the truth.
  
  “I, uh…..Liz, I value your friendship,…more than you’ll ever know, but….well, we are just too different to make a good couple…”
  
  “Ok, Max…,” she said, turning away to hide the tears…not just the tears of shame…but the tears of her heart being torn in two, “…you’re right, we’d do better to just stay friends…” except she knew that somehow wouldn’t work either, because her heart didn’t seem to care that he didn’t really like her, it had apparently made up it’s mind. No, if they couldn’t get closer, she needed to distance herself from him…she couldn’t bear being so close but never having him.

September 18th
Crashdown Café, Roswell NM

“ Okay, I have got one Sigourney Weaver, that's for you. And one Will Smith. Can I get you guys anything else? Green Martian Shake? Blood of Alien smoothie??,” asked Liz Parker.
“ No, thanks,” said the tourist, “We're good.”
“Are you guys here for the crash festival?”
The woman smiled as she replied, “ Yea, can't wait. So...does your family come from Roswell??”
“ Just four generations.”
“ Uh, well, does anyone in your family have stories about the UFO crash?” asked the man.
“ Uh…no, not really.” Liz turned to the waitress walking by her with an order. “Uh…Maria…will you cover for me for a moment?”
“Sure Chica….Oh, by the way, Max Evans is out there…and he’s looking at you again.”
Liz didn’t care about Max Evans right now, him or any other guy. In fact she had only one priority right now…getting to the rest room in time.

It was worse today than yesterday…and the involuntary spasm almost seemed to come from her toes as she fell to her knees in front of the commode…retching repeatedly until her stomach had fully emptied itself of her breakfast that morning…what had once been a single piece of dry toast. Liz cupped her hand and filled it with cool water, bringing it to her lips. She swished it around her mouth trying to rid herself of the bitter taste of the vomit before spitting it out. She wanted to take a small sip, but feared that even that would trigger another wave of nausea. Perhaps she’d feel better later, and would manage to keep something down.

As she started to leave the restroom she heard the scream from Maria, and turned to see the two men wrestling with the gun. The shot flew past her, missing only by inches, and she fell to the floor in fear, bumping the shelving unit and sending two bottles smashing to the floor beside her, splattering her with the contents. As the odor of ketchup hit her nostrils the nausea again overwhelmed her, and she started to have dry heaves.

Jeff and Nancy were watching the EMS people take care of their daughter. Jose, the short order cook, had called 911 even before the shot was fired, and had been screaming for an ambulance from the second he saw her on the floor in what he had wrongly assumed was blood. There was a little blood, Liz’s right forearm had gotten a superficial scratch from broken glass, and that was what the EMTs were dressing now.

“I’d recommend a tetanus shot from your doctor, if you haven’t had one in the last ten years.”

“Shouldn’t she go to the ER for that right now?” asked Jeff.

“It’s a real superficial scratch and the ketchup is pasteurized. If they were new bottles right out of the carton, she probably doesn’t need it at all for this injury, sir. It’s just that everybody pretty much ought to have a tetanus shot every ten years,” said the second EMT.

“Oh!....Well, what about her nausea?” asked Nancy.

“Mom….I’m over that…it was just all the ketchup…,” said Liz, the contrast with her ketchup stained uniform making her skin appear even more pale than usual.

The second EMT smiled reassuringly. “It doesn’t look like that bullet missed your daughter by more than four or five inches,” she said, looking at the hole in the wall under the order window. “If a bullet had come that close to me, I’d probably be going at both ends. A little nausea after a close call really isn’t that unusual.”

Liz looked up at the EMT in gratitude as her mother finally started to calm down.

Jim Valenti came over from where he was watching the detectives interview the witnesses and stood beside Jeff Parker. “How’s Liz doing?”

“Just a scratch, thank God. That was sure a scary situation. Do you think you are going to get those two guys?”

“I’d like to think so, but the two tourists who were witnesses are arguing over whether or not they were really aliens in disguise, and Maria….,” he shook his head, his mouth in a quirky grin.”

”Yes?”

“How many people do you know who actually look like Beavis and Butthead? I actually know more people who look like aliens.”

“Well, that Michael guy who hangs around with the Evans kids actually does have hair that looks pretty much like that, but he seems harmless enough. I take it you don’t think you are going to find them then?”

“Oh, we have the bullet out of the wall, we might get lucky and catch one of them with the gun, match it up, then see if the eyewitnesses can’t do a little better with an actual lineup…but, no, they apparently weren’t locals. We’ll put out the word to other jurisdictions as well, see if the prosecutor thinks a charge of felony endangerment might stand up, seeing as how the bullet passed so close to Liz, but if it’s just a misdemeanor discharge of a firearm within the city limits, probably no other jurisdiction will even bother.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll do your best, Jim. That’s all any of us can do. It sure is a scary world out there when you have kids, and I really thought it would get easier when they grew up…not harder.”

“Well, Jeff, that brings me to the OTHER part of the question of how Liz is doing….if you don’t mind me asking. It’s been over six weeks….how long are you going to keep her grounded?”

Jeff shook his head and poured two cups of coffee, then went in to the office with Jim and closed the door. “It’s not so much that I mind you asking, Jim,” he said, “I guess I’m just a little curious as to WHY you are asking?”

‘It wasn’t as if Jim Valenti didn’t know WHY Liz was grounded. He’d actually been the one to call her parents after one of his units had arrested her for driving under the influence and underage drinking.’ Jeff thought. ‘So why was HE so interested in her punishment?’ Jeff looked in to the Sheriff’s grey eyes, waiting for an answer, and remembering how this had all gotten started.

Liz had seemed sort of depressed throughout the summer as she headed in to her Sophomore year at West Roswell High. The normally animated and cheerful girl hadn’t had the usual enthusiasm for summer vacation. She had in fact increased her work hour scheduling far more than she had in previous summers and simultaneously cut back her social interaction…even with Maria and Alex. This despite the fact that in previous summer’s those three had been inseparable.

Instead she’d go from her work to her room, with an occasional trip to the library to get materials to study for her SATS. The sole thing that had actually seemed to enthuse her was getting her driver’s license, but even that…once she’d gotten it, she’d only asked to borrow the car a few times to go to the library. Jeff and Nancy had talked about it throughout the summer..almost deciding that Liz should see someone for counseling for depression, but they had put it off, hoping that the new school year would restore her to her old self.


It was eight weeks ago now that Kyle had invited her to the football party. He’d been the star quarterback of the West Roswell High freshman team last year and with the loss of the varsity quarterback to graduation, Kyle had been a shoo-in for the starting quarterback job. The varsity team had been going through their summer conditioning program. By league rules they couldn’t actually practice ….. at least nothing involving the coaches …. until school actually opened, but they could do conditioning exercise on their own to get in shape, with the phrase ‘on their own’ being liberally enough interpreted to allow the seniors on the team to lead the others in two grueling sessions a day, one of wind sprints and endurance running on the high school track, the other of weight sessions in the high school gym.

When Kyle had come in for a milkshake after the afternoon practice session, he’d told her about the party and dance that the football team had at the completion of the stiff conditioning program, just prior to their starting their official football practices. It was apparently an annual event to welcome the new team members, and he’d invited Liz to accompany him to it two weeks later. Jeff had heard her hemming and hawing…saying that she’d really like to but that she had to work that Friday night…and like a fool, he’d interrupted. There was another waitress who wanted extra hours, and he’d said that he could easily cover her absence that night. In retrospect, he’d have sure done things differently.

What had actually ended up happening that night was that Jeff and Nancy had gotten a call from the Sheriff, explaining that she’d been picked up for DUI, and recommending she be allowed to spend the rest of the night in the juvenile holding facility before they picked her up…just to teach her a lesson. He had explained to him that Kyle would also be spending the night away from home, …that he’d also been drinking.
Jeff and Nancy had been horrified, but after listening to Jim and being reassured that Liz was indeed OK, just moderately intoxicated, they’d waited until the next morning before picking up their wide-eyed, frightened, and slightly hung over daughter.

She’d been grounded from that time, except for school, work, twenty-hours of community service, and the four half-day alcohol abuse group classes the juvenile court judge had required for her and Kyle to take on four consecutive Saturday mornings.

After a dressing down in Juvenile Court that had left Liz in tears, the judge had actually been pretty lenient with her. She’d lost her driver’s license for six months and had to pay…out of her own wages…$200 for the alcohol abuse classes. She’d done her community service work at a local elementary school, helping disadvantaged kids with their reading and arithmetic after school. The judge had even told her that if she had no more alcohol problems as a juvenile, the DUI conviction would be expunged from her record once she turned twenty-one. Given what might have happened that night, Jeff actually thought Liz had gotten off pretty easily.

But she’d completed the classes and the community service two weeks ago and he and Nancy had been discussing the fact that they couldn’t keep her grounded forever. It was just that…well, she’d always been the ‘perfect Miss Parker,’ as her teacher’s had once called her and neither of them really had any experience at something like this.
Liz had, in one night, virtually destroyed their confidence in her judgment. There didn’t seem to be any easy way to make that right again.

“The WHY,” said Sheriff Valenti, “..is really pretty simple. Kyle has done all of his alcohol abuse classes, and his community service, and I was thinking it might be about time to let him off his grounding. He still won’t be playing football this year…missed too many practices, but given the circumstances, it probably won’t be much of a team anyway. So I’d like to start thinking about easing up on Kyle’s restrictions…but I won’t do that iwhile Liz is still restricted. He is at least as guilty as she is.”

“But he wasn’t drinking and driving, Sheriff. That’s a big difference. Do you realize what might have happened?”

“Jeff,” said the Sheriff, shaking his head, “..I’ve been in law enforcement for 20 years. You don’t think I KNOW about the carnage that drunken drivers cause on our roads? I was making calls to the families of teenagers to tell them that their son or daughter wasn’t going to be coming home before Kyle or Liz were ever born.
But I also know a few things you don’t about that night. Since everyone involved was a juvenile the judge saw to it that it was kept out of the papers. Liz made some bad choices that night, Lord knows, Liz and Kyle both did. But there is a reason that Judge Taylor went easy on her. Jeff, I don’t think I’d have my son today if Liz hadn’t been there…so maybe that’s clouding my thinking just a little. But even if you think it’s too soon…we can’t keep them grounded forever. Eventually we will have to start giving them a chance to earn back the trust they’ve lost.”

“What do you mean…Lizzy somehow saved Kyle? I don’t understand.”

“The real story, Jeff, is this. When Kyle told me about the party he sort of implied…didn’t really say it, but strongly implied, that it was a school sponsored event. If I hadn’t thought that I’d have never let him go….and I damn sure wouldn’t have let him take a date. It was held in a private residence a block from the high school…a vacant rental home owned by the parents of one of the seniors. What the party really was…and I’m not sure Kyle knew this, was a hazing ritual.”

”Hazing?”

“Yeah, something that has been going on for years apparently, without Coach Roberts even knowing about it. Some seniors on the varsity team would drive down to Mexico…they sell Everclear down there, and you don’t have to be 21 to buy it. It’s 190 proof, and the guys organizing the party put it in the punch. You could hardly taste it. Worse yet, they filled one liter sports bottles with half Gatorade and half Everclear….more or less… a few bottles were apparently quite a bit more. They gave those to the players they thought had the most to prove…like the new quarterback. The new varsity players…like Kyle…, had a half hour to finish the Liter bottle....the equivalent of a fifth of Vodka…that was the initiation rite.

Jeff, Kyle didn’t spend the night in juvenile hall like Liz did…he was in intensive care at the hospital…along with two other soon-to-be sophomore players who also had alcohol poisoning. Now I’m not justifying Liz driving while intoxicated, but her blood alcohol was .18…fairly intoxicated…she was weaving all over the road. Kyle’s was .31 and still going up, and she was driving him to the hospital when she was pulled over. If she hadn’t somehow gotten him in to that car…gotten him out of there….Jeff, I’d have lost him.”

“Well Jim, I’d think you would definitely realize why Nancy and I are so upset with her, knowing THAT was what went on.”

“Upset? You don’t think I was upset with Kyle, Jeff? He damn near died. I almost lost my son. I’m not saying Liz didn’t make any mistakes, hell, they both made horrible mistakes…everybody at that party was making a huge mistake. I AM not taking it lightly with Kyle either. The red Mustang he worked most of the Spring and all of the Summer restoring has been up on blocks in the driveway for the past six weeks, with the wheels off and chained together in the garage. He walks by that car every day going to and from the bus stop. Kyle lost his license too, because I’ve got it right here in my wallet, and he’s not getting it back until Liz gets hers back, because even though she was the one that was actually driving, that was partly because he was in no physical condition TO drive, he was unconscious, and she was…physically at least, if not legally. My son is absolutely as culpable as your daughter, he took the same chances, and I’m not about to give him back any of his privileges while Liz is still being punished, particularly not when he was the one who took her to the party.

There was no one at that party that didn’t made a big mistake by staying once they really found out what was going on. The Coach threw every kid off the team that we could prove was there. But Kyle and those two other freshman teammates of his would likely have died. There was also one very intoxicated young lady passed out in an upstairs bedroom who most likely would have lost more than the blouse and bra she was already missing had Liz not told the officers what was going on and where the party was.

Everyone made mistakes, Jeff. Me for not checking out the party better, Coach Roberts for not being aware of this going on for the last five years…justifying it as ‘bonding’ for the team without checking on it, and certainly Kyle and Liz for not leaving immediately when they saw what sort of a party this was. But for all of that, I think I might have lost Kyle if Liz hadn’t been there, and maybe that’s warping my judgement….but there it is…..”

“Liz could have been just as much a heroine if she’d taken one look, and given her parents a call,” said Jeff.

“I know that, Jeff…you are absolutely right. Like I said, I’m not denying that every one of those kids made huge mistakes…but the question now is where do we go from here? Are you going to keep Liz grounded until she goes off to college? Where does she want to go? Harvard? You really want the first time she has an opportunity to make decisions on her own a time when she’d surrounded by equally inexperienced peers, two thousand miles away from you and Nancy? Does that strike you as a good idea?”

“Well, no but…Jim, she scared us so damn bad, and God, Jim, she had to know better, it makes me so damn mad.”

“I understand mad. You should have asked Kyle six weeks ago if he’d ever seen his dad so mad. You think it looks good when the Sheriff’s underage son is picked up so drunk he’s about to stop breathing? I was mad, I was scared, I was pulling my hair out…but Jeff, that was six weeks ago, and we need to decide where we go from here. We need to transition from where we are to where we want to be…getting those kids back on the path to adulthood.”
Jeff shook his head. Sheriff Valenti was unquestionably correct, but the whole episode had been so frightening, the more so because Liz had never really given Jeff or Nancy any problems, not since the terrible twos, and even then she’d been far better than most infants. But she WAS a sophomore in High School…just three short years from being off in college someplace. In three years she was going to be on her own…if not in Boston, than up in Albuquerque perhaps. Either way, what opportunities her parents had to influence her maturing into an adult were fast growing to a close.

“Look Jim,…I suppose you are right. Let me talk this over with Nancy tonight, and I’ll give you a call tomorrow, to tell you what we decide. It’s just that…well, she’s so young yet… and what she did six weeks ago doesn’t impress upon me that she’s old enough or mature enough to make adult decisions.”

“No..no Jeff, it doesn’t. Hopefully both kids will learn from this. But it isn’t only age, Jeff. Need I remind you we just had two adults wrestling with each other and discharging a gun in a crowded restaurant…and neither of them were minors. If we don’t give Liz and Kyle a chance to become adults, that’s the sort of irresponsible people they will turn out to be.”

Jeff let out a deep sigh. “Nancy and I’ll talk about it and give you a call in the morning. She’s kind of been asking me when we were going to ease up on Liz…I imagine she’ll agree with you."

As she wadded up the ketchup-stained uniform and put it in the hamper, Liz looked at herself in the mirror briefly...adjusting her dealey-bopper antenna. 'Life goes on.....' she thought. '...even after you've been shot at....even after you've gotten arrested....even after you've done the most stupid thing you could have ever possibly done...' The new uniform smelled of starch and fabric softener...clean smells...like a new start. 'If that were only possible...,' she thought.

As she exited the locker room she saw her father and the Sheriff in the office, and while it was certainly reasonable for Jim Valenti to be at the scene of a shooting, she was pretty sure that wasn't what they were talking about. They were discussing what had occurred that night...of that she had no doubt....and her heart burned with regret about what had happened....'What had happened?' the voice inside her asked her. 'Have you learned nothing, Liz?' That much at least she knew should have gotten out of the alcohol abuse counseling sessions. It hadn't just happened. She'd made decisions...bad ones....decisions that had led to what happened. If she wasn't going to take responsibility for her decisions, who would?

She averted her eyes as she passed by the office where her father and Jim Valenti were talking. She needed to get out to help Maria with the customers. But as she looked up, she saw him talking to the detective.

"I've got your statement recorded, Mr. Evans. We'll get that transcribed, and I'd like for you to come down to the Sheriff's office sometime in the next two days to sign it?"

"OK, officer," he said, before turning to join Michael and leave the building.

Liz wondered as she saw him walk off, when she'd fallen in love with him. She'd known it in junior high...but sometimes in her dreams...'Could I have really fallen in love with him when I saw him get off the bus in third grade?' That wasn't possible, she knew....third graders don't fall in love. 'Why did I push him...' she asked herself for the thousandth time. They'd only been freshmen....she'd had three more years to let him overcome his shyness, as she'd finally overcome hers that day. Lot's of sophomores weren't dating yet...even juniors and seniors. Her decision to demand a commitment from him he wasn't ready to give....it had been wrong, and after what happened the night of the party..., 'No,'the voice in her head yelled at her, 'you can't use passive tense...'it happened', like a force of nature or act of God made it so, you made the decision to drink, Liz. What happened afterward was YOUR fault.' And the tears came to her eyes and she blinked them away. She slowly nodded, accepting the truth of it. Nobody had held her down and poured the alcohol down her throat, and even though she'd been drunk...she should have known better than to act like that. If only she'd not done that, there still might have been a chance for them...he might have gotten over his shyness or whatever it was that was holding him back. But he'd never want her after what had happ......what she had done that night.

No, she'd made decisions...very bad ones, and she had no one to blame but herself.

One of the advantages of being a small businessman and owning your own business…and living above it, Jeff realized, was that it made it real easy to get takeout. It took only a quick word to Jose the cook about what they wanted prepared and he made it possible for Nancy to not have to prepare dinner for 7PM, when Liz got off her shift, freeing up over an hour for the discussion with her that he’d promised to Jim Valenti. As they sat…just the two of them in the kitchen, the adults in the family seemed prepared to decide the fate of their daughter in absentia. In fact, it would not work out that way…..

“I talked to the Sheriff for quite awhile about Liz and Kyle and what happened. I think he would like to start easing up on Kyle’s restrictions, but sort of feels obligated to keep them in place as long as we have Liz grounded.”

“Well, it has been six weeks, and she complied with the sentence…although she’s still got another four and a half months to go on her license suspension. What do you think, dear?”

“I honestly don’t know for sure WHAT to think. When I think of what might have happened…not just drinking and driving, but even hanging around a place where that stuff was going on….what on Earth could she have been thinking of?”

“I don’t know dear, but the problem didn’t start that night….whatever it was, it started about the time school let out last year. Liz just seemed to pull into a shell. I know I did my best to try to get her to open up…to tell me what was bothering her…I know you did too, but I think we made a mistake when we decided not to have her get some counseling. Maybe they could have broken through her shell…found out what was really bothering her.”

“Well, hindsight is 20/20, as they say. We sure fouled up on that call. I’m not even sure that grounding her has made any difference. She barely left the house all summer….restricting her to it for the last six weeks probably hasn’t made any noticeable difference to her other than she’s working fewer hours because of her school schedule. The thing that bothers me most is that whatever was wrong before, I’m not sure that the night in jail of the DUI or even the alcohol education classes really changed that.”

”I think myself that her behavior that night was a symptom of the problem…not the problem itself.”

“If only she weren’t so damned secretive about what it was…”

“Jeff, you were a teenager too. Did you share every problem you had with your parents?”

“No…no I didn’t. But just because I probably put them through hell too, doesn’t mean that I have to enjoy it when it happens to me, does it?”

“No…of course not. But we can at least TRY to understand it. She’s trying to become independent, and that’s a good thing. I’m just not sure she can really handle it yet….”

The knock on the back door made them both turn their heads. Jeff looked out the window to find Kyle Valenti on the doorstep.

Kyle Valenti looked through the glass as Jeff Parker approached. Liz had saved his life, he realized that when he'd awakened in the hospital and the nurse had told him what the blood alcohol level he'd had really meant. At the first Alcohol Abuse lecture they'd attended together he had apologized for how he had used her that night....taken advantage of her friendship to use her as part of what he knew was going to be an initiation rite...taken her to a party that he knew was going to be raucous....have alcohol...maybe even drugs. He'd had to make a decision...to play her friendship off against the acceptance of the lettermen on the team, and he'd made a sick, cruel, and stupid one. He wasn't at all sure that she'd really forgiven him even though she said she had because, frankly, he was never going to forgive himself for making that choice. But after talking to his father about his conversation with Jeff Parker, he'd decided that he had to go talk to her parents...difficult as that would be. After what h'd done to her, he owed her that much at least, he thought.

'The shame ought to be mine...not hers...' Kyle thought as Jeff Parker opened the door.

"Are you even supposed to be here, Kyle?" asked Jeff Parker pointedly.

Kyle looked up at him, wishing he could be anywhere else. But it wasn't fair...just not right for her parents to be angry with her for things she'd done just because she was his friend....things she'd done to try to keep him safe. They'd both made mistake's, God knew...., but he had been far more responsible than Liz for the mess she'd gotten in to. Kyle was ashamed of his involvement...it wouldn't be pleasant to tell them...but it wouldn't be fair to Liz for them not to know....even if he couldn't bring himself to tell them quite everything.

"My dad gave me permission to come here...to talk to you and Mrs. Parker....to explain why that night was mostly my fault...and to apologize to you for letting it happen. I thought you might understand better about Liz if you knew what really happened."

"I'm not sure anything I might UNDERSTAND would explain away drunken driving Kyle," said Jeff Parker, but as he looked back toward his wife's concerned face he continued, "...but I guess we want to hear what you have to say."

It was about three minutes later that Kyle found himself sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee he had neither wanted nor wanted to refuse when Liz's mom had offered it to him in his hand. Jeff Parker took a sip from his own cup and looked at him from across the table, waiting for him to talk. He took a sip of the coffee, stalling for time, trying to think how he could explain the unexplainable. Then he started.

"I'm not telling either of you this to justify what I did....there really can't be any justification for it. It's just that...well, I got Liz into this mess and even so...she probably saved my life. I just want you to understand .... I'm the one who deserves your anger...not Liz."

Jeff looked at Kyle ...then at Nancy. "Go ahead, son. We're listening.."

"First of all, about inviting your daughter to this at all....Liz has always been nice to me...but we kind of travel in different circles. There were other girls I could have invited...probably should have invited. I invited Liz for mainly one reason...because I was pretty sure she wouldn't drink."

"Well THAT, obviously, was your first mistake..." said Jeff Parker, sarcastically, but he was instantly surprised at the anger in Kyle's eyes when he said it...the reflexive clenching of his fists...the look of the boy struggling to get his anger under control....and not quite succeeding.

"My mistake, Mr. Parker...was that I cared more about what I wanted than I cared about Liz. But that was then and this is now. I guess the question is what YOU care about....knowing the truth, or just taking cheap shots at your daughter, because if you do that again, I'm walking out of here..."

The contempt of the teenager hit Jeff Parker like a slap across the face, but before he could react Nancy put her hand on his forearm.

Nancy looked back and forth between the two. She knew that Jeff loved his daughter, and it was obvious that Kyle cared about her too. But somehow this was threatening to become about dominance....the sort of testosterone charged one-upsmanship that turned caring into anger...sometimes even violence. "Jeff...If we are going to help Lizzy, we need to know what the problem is. Right now we don't, and I for one would like to hear Kyle's story."

Jeff looked at Kyle and suddenly pictured himself as a sixteen year old. If he'd been involved in something like this back then, he wasn't sure he'd have had the courage to go open himself up to the parents like this....he had to at least give Kyle that much credit. And whatever had happened, at least now Kyle was standing up for Liz....doing what her father ought to be doing, not insulting her behind her back. Kyle was right, Liz deserved better than that, whatever had happened that night.

"I'm sorry Kyle," said Jeff. "This has been hard on all of us and sometimes I speak out of anger rather than...reason... I would like to hear the story."

Kyle looked at Jeff Parker and saw the fear in his eyes...not any fear of Kyle Valenti...fear that somehow he hadn't protected his daughter adequately from all the threats the world held for her, and suddenly Kyle remembered. He and Jeff Parkewr were on the same side. The anger in his eyes softened then, and he shook his head. "I'm sorry too Mr. Parker. But as hard as it is to think you didn't do enough to stop this...it's worse to know that you caused it. Let me tell you first what I knew before the party....what I remember of what happened at the party...and what I've learned of since...."

Jeff felt Nancy's hand reach for his under the table and he squeezed it softly. "Go ahead, Kyle..."

"The first thing I want you to know," said Kyle, "...is that I've wanted to be on the West Roswell High varsity since I was seven years old. Our coach took us to one came when I pas in peewee football, and it's been my dream ever since. I don't say that as an excuse for what I did,...just to help you understand what led me to do something so stupid...so....so shameful. All during the summer workups the seniors taunted us newbies about the party. I wish I could say that I didn't know that there'd be alcohjol there, but I did. I knew I was fgoing to have to do some sort of initiation...that it involved alcohol...but I thought I could handle it. I won't lie to you and tell you I've never taken a drink....and maybe that was part of what made me think I could handle it...I'd had a few drinks with the boys before, and I seemed to handle alcohol just about as well as the others. My real reason for inviting Liz was that I was pretty sure she wouldn't want to have anything to drink...and because I knew she had her license and could get us both safely home. I didn't exactly tell HER that, but I think she may have guessed that when we got to the house and got out of the car, and I gave her my car keys."

"But she did drink...," said Jeff Parker, and for an instant Kyle's eyes seemed to flare in anger, but as his eyes looked into Jeff Parker's face, he saw more concern than he did judgement, and he merely nodded.

"Yes sir, but it was a lot more complicated than that..." he said, as the memory of that night again played themselves in his mind.

• "Here Liz, you take the keys..."
  "OK," she said, looking first at him, then at the candy-apple red Mustang he'd spent almost seven months restoring, the car he'd never let anyone drive, much less a not-terribly close friend from elementary school and junior high who had only had her own license about six weeks. Her eyes looked a little wary and concerned. She knew they really weren't all THAT close, that he wouldn't normally do that. So did Kyle.
  
  It wasn't that Liz wasn't a nice girl, he thought, and somehow she'd become very beautiful in the last few years since she'd outgrown the awkward stage they'd all gone through in junior high school. It wasn't even that she was a brain and he was a jock, Kyle knew. No, those really weren't the reason he'd never considered trying to be any more to her than a friend. It was that almost six years of observation had convinced him that she was as thoroughly head overr heels in love with Max Evans as Max Evans was with her. That was what had kept him away from her.
  
  Kyle still couldn't quite believe that those two had not yet gotten together. It wasn't like anyone who paid attention could have avoided the longing glances each gave they other when they were sure the other wasn't looking...easy enough to spot, since when one looked at the other, they seemed oblivious to the rest of the world. No, the fact that Max and Liz cared about one onother was probably the poorest kept secret in their class at West Roswell, in fact Kyle wouldn't have been surprised if only two people in their whole class didn't know about it. Max was one, and the other had just taken his Mustang keys.
  
  As they approached the door, it opened, and Kyle looked up at the captain of the West Roswell Football team, two time all-state, and last year's high school all-American linebacker, Brent "Bubba" Brigham.
  
  "Valentiiii..." Bubba said with a big smile. "Welcome to the party..."
  
  "Hi Bubba...."
  
  "Hey....after the initiation you can call me Bubba...until that, it's still Mr. Brigham, you got that Valenti?"
  
  "Yes Bu....yes Mr. Brigham."
  
  "So...you gotta have drinks in your hand to get in to the party...what'll it be, Valenti? A MANLY longneck, or some of this pussy punch?"
  
  "I guess I'll have a beer," said Kyle.
  
  "And how about you, little lady?"
  
  "I'm not real thirsty, thank you."
  
  "Can't get in to the party without a drink in your hand....which is it...the beer or the pu.....," Brent's smile had been almost a leer, as he caught himself and then finished the question, "...the punch?"
  
  "The punch, I guess," Liz replied, looking uncertainly at Kyle.
  
  After the two entered another senior wandered over by Bubba at the door. Bubba nodded at Kyle and Liz, who were over by some of the other new players and their dates. "Lookey-lookey at the gash that Valenti brought...," Bubba said. "It could be a real interesting night..."

"When we first got to the party we were met at the door by one of the seniors who was hosting the party. He said everyone needed to have drinks, and kind of taunted me about being a man and having a beer rather than having the punch. The punch looked like it was made out of orange sherbet and 7-up with some fruit juice. It smelled kind of sickly sweet and I took the beer instead. I could see in Liz's eyes that she didn't really approve, but I figured she had the keys...it wasn't like I was going to hurt anyone...and like I said, I'd been dreaming about being on the varsity for almost half my life. We went in to the living room where there was music and the TV was playing video clips of some of the games the varsity had played last year on their way to the state championship...."

• Kyle and Liz had walked in to the living room to find about six other couples, and two more joined them in the next few minutes, each with a drink in their hand. The guys invariably had beers, but the girls drinks were about evenly split between beer and the cold sweet punch that Liz had. The house wasn't air conditioned, and even with the windows open to the evening breeze, it was still pretty warm, and seemed to grow warmer as the eighteen people crowded in to the large living room, the guys joking with each other and watching the highlights of the last season's games, while the girls tried to pretend they were half as interested in this as the guys. A couple of the girls seemed to be having a good time, but for most of the girls the atmosphere seemed too testosterone laden....too many in-jokes they didn't understand, and as the beers got consumed, too many double entendres by the four senior guys who were hosting the party...most of them aimed at the girls sitting there...and increasingly at Liz Parker.
  
  Of the four seniors there, three of them seemed to be at least a little hostile toward Liz, and Bubba and Jake Daniels...the big West Roswell defensive end, seemed to get their kicks saying things that went from risque to downright demeaning about Liz. Kyle knew he ought to call them on it...hell, he ought to just get up and take Liz out of there. Even some of the other guys there for the initiation were looking at him like they wondered how much he was going to take.

"I was....stupid," Kyle said, not really wanting to tell either of her folks how he'd just let her sit there and take it, although in fairness, it was the first he'd ever seen Liz angry, and when she finally started to answer their insults she was giving at least as good as she got. "It got a little locker room crude, but instead of being man enough to just walk out and leave, I just took another pull of my beer, and hoped we could just get it over quick. And even more stupidly, .....well, I was going to be the quarterback,...and I didn't think I could lead if I couldn't prove I could put up with the hazing, and that hadn't even started yet. They'd made a bunch of nachos for snacks, and pretty soon we were all involved in a big nacho challenge match."

"Nacho challenge...?"asked Nancy.

"Yeah," said Kyle, his voice tinged with self disgust. "One of the seniors grabbed a nacho...challenged us to eat one with two jalapeno slices on it like he was demonstrating. Then a different senior challenged us to do it with four slices...., then five....and so forth. The girls dropped out after a couple rounds, ...the damn things were fresh...not pickled, so they were hotter than..... Well, you get the picture."

Jeff and Nancy did indeed. The commercial jalapeno slices they used at the restaurant were always pickled. The fresh ones...particularly if they contained the seeds and weren't deveined, were like molten lava, particularly some of the local varieties.

"Well," Kyle continued, "..I guess it doesn't take any rocket scientist to understand what they were really trying to do...every time we'd eat a nacho we'd have to wash it down with almost a whole beer, just to get the taste out of our mouth...and the seniors were getting the initiates to drink four beers for each one they drank... I think we would have stopped it if we hadn't thought that was the initiation...if we'd really known that was just the preliminaries before the initiation, because after an hour or so we were all starting to get pretty hammered, and the inside of our mouths was just raw, even with the beer to cool it off. I could hardly bring myself to look at Liz...I knew she wanted to go, but like a fool...I thought I needed to show the seniors I was tough enough to be one of them... Finally," Kyle smiled, shaking his head, "...it was Liz that put an end to it."

"Lizzy?" asked Jeff.

"Yeah, would you believe it....she challenged them...challenged all four of the seniors to eat a Jalapeno like she did....not a slice, the whole daa.... darn thing. She said if they weren't tough enough to do that, then they had no business challenging her fellow sophomores. They took her challenge, and she took a whole jalapeno and just popped it in her mouth...chewed it and washed it down with a quick swig of punch..., none of the seniors could believe it."

Jeff and Nancy looked at each other...remembering the day when Lizzy had been eleven years old, and been helping Jose in the kitchen downstairs. She'd watched in amazement as Jose had swallowed a whole jalapeno for her amusement, and he'd finally told her how he'd done it. The sting in the jalapeno was in the capsaicin in the oil...just under the skin, and in the veins and seeds. If you didn't break the skin they weren't too hot...but you had to swallow it whole. You could pretend to chew it but if you really broke the skin...got to the oil underneath...and the seeds, it was like molten asphalt. Well, that was one way to bust up the drinking, Jeff supposed.

"Yeah, all four of them were gagging, puking, washing their mouths out with beer...it was hilarious," said Kyle. Up until Bubba had looked up at Liz with his face full of fury and said the words he'd said to her, Kyle remembered.

'I don't care if he does outweigh me by eighty pounds, I should have decked the bastard,' thought Kyle, still not believing he'd just let the comment pass.