Roswell Fanatics

Redemption, but Was it needed?


Title: Liz, Come back to Me!

Author: ken_r AKA ken242 Aka Ken Renouard
Rating: adults that have a big enough heart to understand about loosing everything and trying to survive.

Couples: This is a Max Liz story, but they have the support of all their friends who for the most part are conventionally coupled. There is a big M/M sequence. The story is also all Roswell crowd helping each other.

Disclaimer: The characters are of the Roswell TV series. I only took implications that had been made during the series and extrapolated further to see what I would get.

Summery: Everything happens just like the series. They leave as in Graduation. They are hounded, like so many fic writers have written, by FBI alien hunters. They are, finally, hit by the FBI rogue unit. Isabel is wounded and Max grabs her. Michael grabs Maria and runs. Kyle and Liz are left to make their own way. The reason that Liz was left is discussed in the story. Kyle rejoins the group but Liz disappears. Even the feeling she shares with Max disappears. As Liz is recalling what happened to her, she also, is recalling buried thoughts and memories of her high school relationship with Max.

WARNING: This story will end dreamer friendly. Liz is taken to the white room. I do not describe rapes and other things in detail but they did happen to her. Make sure you are strong enough to read this and to understand the desire to keep living when all you hold dear has been lost.



Liz,Come Back!

Michael sat at the bar. He was nursing a beer. The bartender scowled at him. Michael was used to this. Even though the law was very clear and a bar could loose it license for serving a drunk, they were in the business of getting customers a bit loaded. The fact that he would never order more than one beer was not helping business.

Michael had come to this bar every evening for two weeks. He would sit on the last stool at the bar and nurse his one beer until almost quitting time. This was a place where he could observe the entire room and all who entered. Occasionally, he would call the bartender over and give him a twenty-dollar bill. Then, he would ask for information on one person or the other. This was what probably kept the bartenders attention and the reason they did not start ignoring him, hoping he would go away.

Michael had a photo in his pocket. He had flashed the picture to almost everyone he talked to. The picture was of a pretty young woman. In the photo she had a smile and bright, sparkling brown eyes. Her face was framed by long soft brown hair, though of course, the true softness could not have been felt in the picture. A lot that Michael saw in the photo was put there, by his association with the woman, for so many years.

He had been doing this for two years. Occasionally, he would go home to his lover and she would passionately fill him with tenderness as he drained his love into her body. She didn’t mind his obsession with the woman of the photo. In fact, she was one of the driving forces that kept him going. The woman of the photo had been her childhood friend.

Michael would stay home for a few weeks. Then, he would return to take up the trail. Michael had found many leads. He followed all of them and some of them even turned out to be what he was looking for. So many though, just led to another woman, who when he found her, only slightly resembled the one he was seeking.

Michael had traveled through out most of the southwest. That was the area that he knew best and the location he believed the woman also would be most comfortable in. As he talked to so many who had met her in passing, Michael learned she didn’t want a place that gave her comfort. She seemed to be bent on punishing herself by loosing everything that she had known in her past. The reason for this would be one of the things Michael needed to learn. How could a person leave the group where she was so loved and supported to end up as he was learning in such a retched situation?

For a while, Michael had trailed her in California. She had flirted with the movies. Trying for parts in various productions. After a time, she had fallen to the smaller studios who were after fresh meat and didn’t care if she had any ability or not.

She had left a trail of movies that still disturbed Michael. Seeing the girl, that he had known in high school, first half naked with some dandy who was all cock and no brain, then finally, seeing her stretched out on a bed as she was mounted by actors with permanent hard on’s, greatly disturbed Michael. Maybe, if he had been younger, with a bunch of horny guys and the person on the screen had been some chick he didn’t know, Michael could have, at least, pretended interest. Now, it was just heart breaking to see.

Somewhere in this land of pretend, he lost her. All of a sudden, there was no trace. He hit the porn shops and, even some of the custom places, who made movies that the porn shops wouldn’t handle. Michael feared every time he heard of a new “snuff film,” where they actually filmed the murder of a young girl, that he would see her brown eyes and long soft brown hair.

It still filled his heart with horror when he finished the film, knowing that somewhere a missing daughter would not be coming home. Michael was still relieved that, so far he hadn’t seen the woman he was seeking in one of these horror films.

Michael finally returned home. It was weeks later when a call came to his lover. The woman only talked for a minute. She seemed to only want to hear the voice of someone she knew. The call was very short, but the phone company records said it was a cell phone call from a town outside of New York City. The town was Leonia, New Jersey. Michael was confused when he looked at the travel atlas because the whole area looked like one big city.

Once again, Michael left the bed of his lover and the comfort of the area in which he felt most at ease. Michael traveled to the town where the call originated from and canvassed every bar the town had. Most of them were up scale, but a few were of a seedier nature. Several of the bars had favorable answers.

Yes, they had seen the woman in the photo. She would come in, have a drink and, then, leave with some man. The men were different every time. The bartender remembered that most of the men were married and getting them to talk would be difficult. Michael, finally, cornered a traveling salesman who being far from his home consented to discuss the little woman.

“Yes, I remember her. We settled on $100. We went back to the hotel and she asked me what I wanted. I was a little confused because she didn’t talk like a common whore. A whore would have had a price for everything she did, including how much of her clothing she removed. This little woman considered that the $100 paid for the night and whatever I wanted from it,” he explained.

The salesman ordered another beer which Michael paid for. “Since I didn’t readily make any demands, she just sensuously began to remove her clothes.

It took me awhile to figure it out. It wasn’t the skill she used disrobing, but rather the innocence with which she did it. It was almost like voyeurism, spying on an innocent young girl next door. When she was undressed, we went to bed and she was so pliable. She was opened to anything I wanted. She just complied without comment.

She stayed most of the night and when we were finished, she took her hundred and left, without another word.

These comments hurt Michael. You would have thought that he would be immune to them by now. They were no different from the porn movies or the other tales he had heard.

The salesman suggested that she probably was going to the city. That was what Michael feared. What did a boy who grew up in New Mexico know about the big city? What did a boy who only had loved one girl in his life, know about chasing a woman whose tracks were lined with sexual indiscretions? One night when he was home and in the arms of Maria, his lover, he asked the same question.

“This isn’t her, Michael. We do not know what happened, but this isn’t the way she would react. She would never just do what someone said without having a reason. Liz questioned everything,” Maria crooned as she was nibbling his ear.

Michael didn’t know. Maybe, they didn’t really know Liz anymore. Did anyone really know another? Didn’t every person have secret places that if they retreated there, it would completely change their character?

No one knew what had happened to Liz. They had been ambushed by the FBI. The group was broken up. Isabel had been shot and Max had thrown her over his shoulder. Thinking that Liz was right behind him, he had taken off in a hail of bullets. Max took one of their cars and seeing that Liz was no longer with him he just hoped that she had been able to leave with one of the others. It bothered him that the connection they had always shared since high school, was severed. He ran for several weeks, hiding as he tried to heal Isabel. Then, again going on the run when he felt the feds were getting too close.

They had arranged sites to meet in case of something like this. Max found the first site had been compromised. He lay in wait for a day watching to see if there was any movement at the little cabin back in the southwestern woods.

Isabel was better. She just needed rest now. Max had healed most of her wounds. Max had left her back in a small town some distance from their rendezvous site. He was fixing to return and fetch her. Nothing had been seen at the cabin. Just as he was getting ready to crawl back from his vigil on the hill top, a black car drove up to the cabin. Max stopped. One man came out and, though Max couldn’t make out what they were saying, it was clear that this was a trap.

Max left the vicinity, quickly. Isabel would have to rest in the car. Max changed cars every so often. He always made sure that the salesmen didn’t see Isabel. Max’s black beard had hidden most of his recognizable features and his slovenly appearance hid as much of character his as was possible.

Max had found that many little car lots were just fronts for illicit activity. The margin they made with legitimate transactions would be padded by secondary, off the record, sales of stolen property. He had learned to recognize when a dealer would make a slightly illegal transaction, if the price was right. Max was sure that none of the paper he carried on his vehicles was any good, if stopped, unless the officer gave a lot of attention to them, they would pass.

Max wasn’t satisfied with the safety of the second site either. Finally he had staked out their third site. It was three of five. Max was becoming worried that they had lost all their meeting places. If this one was compromised they only had two more left. Max staked out the house for two days. He found nothing to cause him worry.

When Max entered the house, he looked for the signs they had prepared to show if anyone had entered since they had last been there. Matchsticks were properly still wedged into the edges of closed doors. Books, in order of their copyright date, were still stacked carelessly in chairs. Finally, Max felt comfortable in retrieving Isabel and waiting for the others.

Michael and Maria arrived in two weeks. They, likewise, had observed that the first two sites were compromised. Max felt relieved , finally, have company. Isabel was better and he had healed her physically, but the strain of this adventure had taken its toll on her. Maria, who was always the diva and the domestic, took over running the house. Max was worried because he had hoped that Liz had gone with Michael. Michael was right behind him when leaving. Max had a hard time getting Isabel out of there. The FBI didn’t seem to be trying to capture them. It was like at Graduation when they had been set up to be killed. Max now could only hope that Kyle and Liz the two missing humans were together.

It was another week when Kyle finally stumbled in. He had been shot, but for four weeks he had hidden out. He tried to self medicate his wounds and even though he feared infection he had hidden from any contact. It took him some time to make his way to the third safe house. It was late when he knocked on the door. Michael and Max were at ready. They were terrified that the feds had, finally, caught up to them. When Kyle fell in, it was a relief along with concern about his wound. Max started to work on Kyle immediately. Kyle, when he was well enough to talk, hadn’t seen what had happened to Liz.

There was still no sign of Liz. That connection had never reformed. The effect of the severance of the connection that had sustained Max, since he had saved Liz in the Crashdown, so many years ago, was devastating. When the shooting had started, they all scattered. When Max saw Isabel fall, his reaction was to grab her. Liz was human and probably in the least danger. The attention given to Max and Isabel, by the shooters, made Max think that being with him would be the more dangerous, anyway. Most of the shooting seemed to be directed at them. It was left for Liz and Kyle to make their own way.

Michael had grabbed Maria, and with her over his shoulder, he had power blasted his way out of the small motel. Michael had stolen a car and he was off. There was nothing he could do for anyone but Maria. He could only hope the others got away also. He had warned when they first left Roswell that it might be necessary to scatter. At least some of them might get away.

Max felt devastated. Grabbing his sister had been reflex. It, for a second had even eclipsed his love for Liz. Then, the reflex was replaced with the knowledge that he was the center of the danger. As the weeks turned into months, and the months were on their way to becoming a year, Max was now having a break down. He had replayed every moment of that night. He just couldn’t figure when he first noticed that he no longer had a connection with Liz. Max had lost the only love of his life. Liz hadn’t been heard of since that fateful night. Having no connection with Liz led Max to fear that she might have been killed, there were bullets flying everywhere. They were all out of touch with news, to the point, that they had no information if Liz had been killed or not.

Kyle’s father had made a few political acquaintances. He along with Philip Evans, were pursuing the theory that the Roswell crash was now approaching 60 years old. There had been no invasion. The Air Force always had insisted that the incident was just a secret weather balloon so there was no reason for the FBI to spend money, chasing aliens. If aliens existed, give them amnesty like they did all other aliens in America. Give them a green card, teach them to drive taxis, and forget about it.

The special unit was finally disbanded again, even though it had been disbanded officially over a two years ago. Those involved were dispersed and the records seized. There was one record that was disturbing. One Female, name concealed, had been held at an intensive laboratory facility. She had disappeared. What was found to be most disturbing was that this female had been the center of the raid. If this was a record of Liz, the raid was not to capture Max, Michael or Isabel but to grab Liz. The alien hunters were now willing to kill the aliens. They wanted to study a human who had been in close association with them. Who the person in the record actually was or what was her final disposition, was not recorded.

Five of those on the run were now able to return to Roswell. Of the five, only Michael and Marria had been able to retain their full sanity. Isabel had been having trouble ever since Alex died long before they had to flee. She had her marriage to Jessie, but that, in itself, was something she and Jessie had to decide if they wanted to salvage.

Kyle had been drifting for the years since Max had taken Liz away from him. Everything else he did had been prone to failure. Kyle, the super stud, hadn’t had a successful relationship since his loss of Liz. Girls who he before, would have picked up with his reputation as a super jock, did not have whatever he was seeking. Briefly, he had tried to find something in Tess, only to be betrayed. Tess, the murderess of Isabel’s high school love, had fled in a strange ship.

Kyle had briefly thought of Isabel. First, she was too distraught to consider romance or even sex. Secondly, Isabel had always moved in social circles that were never open to him. Given time, the stress of being the only unpaired ones in the sexually charged atmosphere of Max/Liz and Michael/Maria, as they fled the feds, Kyle and Isabel might have given into an accommodation of convenience. The raid precluded that event.

Now Michael and Maria were the only couple to survive. Max, Kyle and Isabel were in the same funk. They were all ridden with guilt and alone with out their loves.

Now that they were no longer running for their lives, Max had become almost comatose. Since there no longer was a need to be the leader, he was just lost. He searched and searched for something to feel of Liz. It wasn’t there. He would go over and over his actions.

Just like before, he couldn’t tell when she disappeared. He could, like a Monday night quarter back, think of alternate things, he should have done, game plays he could have attempted, but, at the time, his reflexes had made their choices. He had chosen what his instincts told him to. Since he felt that he and Isabel were the center of the bullets, he hadn’t pulled Liz into that range.

Max would just sit and stare at the sky. He seldom talked. Kyle and Isabel were not that much better. Max, over and over played the ambush in his mind. He could see Liz standing beside him and he saw Isabel fall. He had reached for Isabel and the bullets started hitting all around him. Then, when he was leaving, he could not see or sense anything of Liz.

Isabel had talked to Jessie. They decided that they should wait awhile before attempting to get back together. If Isabel had known the part that Jesse had played in the destruction of the special unit, she might not have had so many reservations about her life.

As it was Isabel knew that saving her had cost her brother his true love. They had no indication, of what had happened, to Liz. Isabel was worried that Max was not going to survive. He was in such a depression.

They didn’t have the convenience of going to a shrink, or psychiatrist and really telling him things that he could use to help them. They also didn’t have the privilege, of turning to anti depressants. No one knew what these drugs might do to their bodies.

Kyle just sat in front of the television. He watched whatever was on the set. His father, Jim, had turned off the TV once and Kyle still just sat there staring at the blank screen.

Jim thought that that was just too weird, so he turned it back on and went to work. Kyle had helped care for his father when he was out of work. Now, Jim would take the best care of his son that he could.

They all knew that there were still some aliens, or half-aliens to be correct, out there. Rath and Lonnie were somewhere. Max thought they very dangerous. They had tortured Tess the one time they had her in their control. There was still Ava, the dupe analog of Tess. Max had no idea of where she fit into the scheme of things.

Tess had been killed at the Air Force base when she returned with what she had claimed as Max’s baby. Her destruction probably led to the attack at graduation. Tess, even in death, had brought ruin to the group. The baby had been given up for adoption so Max purposely did not know where he was.

Maria thought that, maybe, if Ava could be found, she might help find Liz. But so far, they had found no sign of her. Michael was the only one, mentally, in good enough condition to go looking for Liz, if they found any leads. Maria was the mental caregiver for the other three, even though they each resided at the homes, of their parents.

At first, there were a few phone calls to her folks. They were from various places in the southwest. Every time Jeff would receive a call, he would tell the deputy sheriff, Jim , and Jim would tell Michael. Michael would be on a plane, bus or even a car if it wasn’t too far.

Every time when he arrived, he would find signs of Liz but she would have been long gone. The calls to her father were cryptic. He could never make anything out of them. As he told Jim, it was as if a stranger was trying to talk to him in a foreign language.

Two years later: Maria and Michael had gone to a movie. It was an action adventure where the hero was great in fighting and, also, in bed. Briefly for a second, Maria caught sight of Liz. She was an extra in the crowd. That started Michael on his quest to California. The California quest gave them a lot of information about Liz, but they were unable to make contact with her.

Then there was the call to Maria, it was made to Maria’s cell phone, a number she had kept from childhood. The voice was strained and it didn’t allow Maria any time to plead or get much information. There was something about forgiveness. Maria couldn’t understand. The call was only for a few minutes and, then, it promptly was stopped.

This led Michael, the boy from another planet, one who grew up in the southwest, to be sitting in a bar drinking one beer, in New York at night, and paying for information.

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Yes, this is a difficult read. The story is one of mental healing and understanding that preserving life, is important and sometimes a person must do many unpleasant things to stay alive. Somewhere Michael says that a man always has his strong back but what does a woman have? We quickly see that Liz isn’t herself. It is left up to Jesse at the end to explain why. I want to stress that I am not looking for people to forgive Liz. She lived, and that is not something to ask forgiveness for. What I want is for readers to try to understand. Michael once asks himself what if it had been Maria who had been taken?

Liz is found. Now to understand she has to remember everything and tell the others. I hope the readers love Maria as she says to everyone later, “You will hear and understand. Then you will be allowed to love.” Yes that is where I want to go. I want to learn what happened to Liz.”

This is after “Graduation.” Liz and Max are married.

Chapter 2

Michael, finally, got lucky. “Yes, she was here. She met a man and they left. It looked like a professional arrangement to me.”

This was the closest Michael had been to her. He, now, started spending most of his evenings sitting at this bar, again only drinking his one beer. It was almost two weeks later when the bartender called to Michael. “See that man over there at the bar? He is the one who met the woman you are looking for.

Michael had no idea how he was going to do the next step. Michael wasn’t a cop and Michael didn’t want any law mixed up with this problem. He, finally, decided that being direct was the only way. He approached the man, handed him the photo and said, “I understand you met this lady the other night?”

Just as Michael was afraid of, this put the man on the defensive. “I don’t know what you are talking about. Are you a cop? Is this some kind of sting?”

Michael sat and shook his head. “No, Please, I am trying to find this lady. I just need a lead so I can make some progress. I have been looking for her for over two years.”

The man was still suspicious. It wasn’t until the bartender came over and brought a complementary beer that Michael paid for and nodded, “I think he is okay. He isn’t law and he has been looking for the woman all over town.”

Michael pulled out his wallet. He counted out five twenties. The man looked at him and, then, pushed the money back. “She is just a whore. I called a number and asked for Beth. She met me at this bar and we went to the hotel. She cost $200 an hour and she would do anything I wished.”

He reached in his wallet and extracted a card. It read, “Tiny Williams, Companions with big hearts.” He handed the card to Michael. “She had a big heart. I was almost ashamed to bed her, but she did take the $200 quickly enough.”

Michael thanked him. This was the first time that Michael thought that he might be able to catch Liz. He didn’t believe approaching her directly would work. There was still something wrong with her.

Michael called Jesse in Boston. He listed the things he needed and Jesse whistled. “What you are doing is illegal and dangerous!”

“Do you have a better way? Something is wrong with her and only if I have access to her for a long time, am I going to be able to out and understand it,” Michael said to him.

Jesse wondered how much he owed these people. They, including Isabel, had lied to him, but he thought they had lied to almost everyone to preserve their existence. Jesse and Isabel had talked on the phone a few times. Neither wanted to initiate a divorce, but they had to resolve their situation so they could either get back together or move on. Traditionally, Jesse didn’t believe in divorce. He had been married by Isabel’s preacher, so their marriage wasn’t quite a church wedding, according to Jesse’s faith, but he had still made vows.

Finally, he agreed to what Michael wanted. Michael bought a Volvo station wagon. When the seats were put down, there would be enough room to carry his cargo for the few days he needed.

Michael took a room at a small hotel. The hotel wasn’t big enough to have all sorts of surveillance equipment. He took a ground floor near the rear exit. Shortly after he registered, a package was received addressed to Michael with no return address. Jesse had obtained what Michael needed.

There were a hundred things that could go wrong with his plans. There was only one way they could go right. Michael knew that these were bad odds. His love for Maria and his long association with Max were all that made him take this chance. Finally, when he was sure everything was arranged, Michael called the number on the card.

“Hello,” the clipped voice said.

“I would like to arrange two hours with Beth on Friday night,” Michael responded on the phone.

“How did you get this number?” the voice asked.

“My brother gave it to me. He had Beth three weeks ago.” Michael suddenly remembered that he didn’t know the name of the man who gave him the card.

He breathed a sigh of relief, since this wasn’t that sophisticated of an operation.

There were several seconds and Michael was worried that this wasn’t going to work. Then, “Okay, it will be $400 cash. We don’t take any funny money or plastic.”

Michael gave the address of his room. He was sure the pimp would check out how long Michael had been there and how long he would be staying. Michael had been developing the story that he was here on business and he had paid for next week ahead of time.

Michael had three days to get ready. Sure enough, he saw a seedy man come in one day and ask questions of the clerk. Apparently what happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas, but here it was public knowledge. Michael did get heads up later in the day when the clerk saw him. She said, “There was a man inquiring about you this morning.”

Michael replied, “Yeah, I made a contact and he was probably making sure I wasn’t a fly-by-night con artist. I am glad you assured him.” He tipped the clerk with a ten spot.

Friday finally came. Michael tipped the night clerk. “I am expecting company tonight for a couple hours. I hope this won’t inconvenience anyone. We will be very discreet.

The clerk took the two twenties, “I will direct her to your room when she comes. Do you want any Champaign or anything?”

Michael had an idea. “Yes, I would like a chilled bottle delivered by nine o’clock.. Throw in a fifth of bourbon. Champaign is fine for romance, but if I want to do some serious drinking later, that fancy stuff just won’t do.

He added another three twenties to what he gave the clerk and went back to his room. Michael hated this night. There were just so many ways this could go wrong. Michael also couldn’t see any way to keep from hurting Liz. She had to be subdued. He wanted to get out of here as fast as possible. He had no time to argue with her. That would come later.

Just before ten o’clock, Michael went to the nearby garage where he kept his car. No one at the hotel had any record of him having a car. He drove close to the building in the alley. He unlocked one door and could only hope in the next few minutes no one stole it. He thought of using his powers to secure the car, but sometimes the powers were tricky on a lock that he didn’t fully understand. Michael had already put most of the belongings he needed in the car.

Now, it was show time. Michael had thought of many ways to do this, but it always came back to the same thing. Liz had to be subdued and Michael had to get out of town as soon as possible.

It was ten o’clock and promptly, the doorknocker sounded. “Come on in babe. The door is unlocked.” Michael went into the bathroom and ran the water in the sink. “The money is on the chair. You can take it and put your coat there until we are through.”

Michael counted five seconds, “One hippopotamus, two hippopotamus, …” finally getting to five hippopotamus and, then, he entered the room quickly.

Liz was dressed in a very nice dress, a hat and gloves. She was placing them on the chair after putting the $400 in her purse. She knew that Williams would be outside in front waiting for her. He usually did that if his women went to some place that was not of their choosing. In two hours, he would be knocking down the door. He told Liz that if she could take the john for more time, just to call him on her cell phone.

Liz heard something behind her. She turned and recognition barely set in before she was hit at the point of her chin. She was stunned. Liz had no time to scream or anything. As her body crumpled, Michael caught her. He pried her lips apart and forced the first Darvon between her teeth. He took some of the Champaign and made her drink a little of it. With the combination of the Darvon , the Champaign and the shock of Michael’s blow, she soon was out. Michael took the bourbon and poured it on her clothes. She stank to high heaven. The Darvon made her groggy and the liquor smell passed for her being drunk. He quickly carried Liz out the back door to the alley.

Michael took both the bourbon and the Champaign with him to the car in the alley. He put Liz in the passenger seat and belted her in. There was a service truck parked in the alley. Michael placed Liz’s cell phone under some rubble in the back of the truck. They were gone within fifteen minutes.

Michael drove west out of New York City. He managed to find US 80 and he stayed on that highway for some time. Michael knew that there were better ways than the one he was taking, but he only had a McNally Road Atlas and directions he had memorized. He had to get a long distance in a short time. Michael drove straight. He believed he could go for some time then he would need some rest. He figured that after 24 hours he would need to stop and rest. They were proceeding quickly but Michael was careful not to speed.

Michael had to keep Liz doped up so she wouldn’t cause him any trouble. He was sure her pimp had found that he had lost his cash cow and Michael didn’t know how far he would go to get her back. Michael was essentially kidnapping Liz against her will.

Soon they were out of New York State. Michael had now committed a federal felony. He stayed on US 80 because that was the easiest way to remember. He had to stop a couple times for gas, but by using a credit card and self-service, no one, especially at night, paid any notice to him.

Liz was still groggy, but slowly she began to regain conscious. She looked at Michael. “Who are you? I know, you must be one of the dups. Ah, I think your name is Rath or something like that.”

“No, Liz, it is me Michael. Maria is my girl friend. You and I have known each other since high school. I stole your journal one time,” he told her.

Liz just shook her head. “No, Michael and Maria were killed in the raid. You have to be someone else. What do you want of me?”

“I want you to get your life back together and go home.” Michael explained.

She hung her head, “Home doesn’t exist anymore. I caused them all to be killed. It was my fault.”

“Nonsense, Liz, Max isn’t dead. Neither is Maria or Isabel.” Michael explained, but Liz didn’t seem to be listening. Liz was still groggy and Michael was going to have to stop sometime soon. They had made rest stops and Michael helped her to the lady’s restroom waiting for her out side the door. They didn’t meet many people and those who saw them assumed that they were a couple where the lady had had too much to drink. The upscale style of Liz’s clothes, led others to believe they were returning from a party. If anyone got close, the smell of liquor would affirm the party. Toward morning, Michael gave her another Darvon. Liz frowned.

“I am sorry Liz. I can’t handle you and drive. I have spent over two years looking for you, I just can’t chance losing you right now,” he explained.

Liz was still groggy enough not to want to think. She took the pill, washing it down with bottled water that Michael provided. Soon, she was fast asleep. At a small town outside of Toledo Ohio, Michael decided he had to stop and rest. The had traveled, he figured about 550 miles. It was mid morning and he pulled into a small motel to register as Mr. and Mrs. Michael Guerin, showing his driver’s license. Michael told the man at the counter, that his wife was sick and he wanted a room for two days. He tipped him a twenty, asking to not be disturbed by house keeping. She needed peace and quiet. He took a room at the end of the strip. He parked the car near the door and the clerk saw him help an obviously, impaired woman into the room.

As the Darvon began to wear off , Liz started to stir again. Michael, as soon as she could see very well, went over to the door. With his powers, he blocked it so the door wouldn’t open without breaking it down or using his powers to open it.

Liz was, now, almost cognizant. She looked around. “Who are you really?” she asked.

“I told you. I am Michael Guerin. Maria DeLuca is my girl friend and we have known each other since high school.” Michael leaned back.

“And you are telling me the truth when you say that none of our group were killed? Why didn’t Max come after me instead of you?” she inquired.

“Max is so depressed that he might as well be dead. Isabel was shot and he grabbed her. That is when he lost you. He blames himself for your being gone. Of course, he doesn’t know what has happened to you since the raid. Maria and I haven’t told him the things we found out about you,” Michael informed her.

“Why? Do you think that will push him further over the edge?” Liz asked.

“Actually, Maria was more worried about you. She thought that you deserved time to pull yourself together first. Then, you can decide with what or when you want to face Max later,” Michael stated.

“Where are we going?” Liz questioned.

“There is a place where we will be alone for as long as you want. When you feel ready, we will leave. It was borrowed for us by an old friend,” Michael informed her. “He turned to her. Do you think you can trust me enough to not run? I do not want to spend another two years hunting for you,” Michael said.

Liz hung her head, “Michael, you do not know what I have done or where I have been. No one is going to want me back. Michael, it was my fault that the FBI found us. I called my father the night before. I am sure they had his phone tapped. When I was being held in the white room, they never tired of telling me how it was my fault that all of you were killed,” Liz cried.

“We weren’t killed. That was a lie. About what you have done Liz, honey, you are wrong. I do know all about you. So does Maria. I watched every smut film you made trying to find clues to where you might be. I traced many of the men you went to, trying to find where you might be next. You don’t seem to remember, but you called Maria a few weeks ago. You were incoherent. She couldn’t understand you, but that is how we traced you to New Jersey and I found a hint that you were in the City.”

“I called somewhere. The number was just in my memory. I don’t even remember why I called,” Liz mumbled.

This bothered Michael. Liz seemed to have called Maria out of some reflex. She was doing things with out being clear of what or why she did them. He felt that Liz should know that there was nothing in her actions for her to hide. How she felt about her actions was another question. He hoped she didn’t press him too much on how he felt about what she had done. Michael was very confused. Michael didn’t dislike Liz for what she had become but right now Michael didn’t understand any of it very well. That would be part of the reason for the stay at the island.

Spacecowboy
L-J-L 76
Keepsmilling7
Tinie38
Natalie36
Begonia9508
Xmag
Confusedfool
Garcia88
Bethann
TruddyGill23
All of the characters are older and more mature in this story. The principal characters, Michael, Maria and Liz keep looking back to see how their younger years had affected them. To an extent Isabel will do this, near the end. I do a lot of thinking about losing one’s senses, sight, hearing, smell etc.. Max would have been so used to that feeling he had with Liz that removing this made him cripple in a way. My take in the story was Liz was the logic that bound them. I also think that Maria was the emergency route. She was at her best when the unthinkable happened. I hope I build her that way here.

I may fail but I wish to convey the confusion Liz has in her mind. She will discover what happened in a disjointed fashion. She will also make contradictory statements from both the series and this story. Remember she is not in her right mind. There is a chance, she will never be in the same mind as she was, again.

You have guilt to go around in this story. Liz feels she killed everyone who was important to her. Max feels that he should have done something else but he doesn’t know what. Isabel feels she was saved at the expense of Liz’s life and she already had guilt about Alex and Jesse. She was willing to give her love to Alex too late and to Jesse she was not experienced or mature enough to see the wisdom of an mature man.

Michael in this story rises. Just as he took the title of king when Max was killed and the title almost destroyed him, now Michael will now take on the responsibility of finding Maria’s friend. Xmag reminds us that there is a candy fic much like this. “Entitled” I will try to find it and others might find it interesting but again difficult to read.

Maybe as Bethann says experiences shape us. It remains to be seen if Liz can rise above her’s.


Chapter 3

When they awakened Michael got up and, again, locking the door with his powers, he went out to buy breakfast. He picked up an order of scrambled eggs, a quart of orange juice and a quart of coffee, a couple of sweet rolls and some buttered toast rounded out the meal. It was as much as Liz had eaten in a long time. She, usually, just skipped breakfast, since she would have been out late the night before.

As they ate, Liz started talking. “They took me much like you did. I looked around and I was alone. Max had run off. Michael, do you understand? He left me! Yes, you tell me he was caring for Isabel, but I was supposed to be his true love. He didn’t even think of me when everything happened.”

Michael felt really bad about what he had just done to Liz, but it was most important that he get her, anyway he could, even though he had acted just like the FBI. “Liz, that is not true. He does care for you. You just dropped out of his sight. We have a record and the target of the raid might not have been Max. It could have been you. The why, is what we don’t know. There was no way to go back for you. Max couldn’t feel you anymore. We still don’t know what happened to you and why you did some of the things you did later. I hope that we will work through some of these things.”

“Well, I woke up on a cold slab. Men in white were all around. Blood was taken and they interviewed me incessantly. The interviews went on without stopping. When I was starting to tire, they put something in my intravenous tube. Whatever it was, if made me unable to sleep. After 36 hours, the real questioning began. That was when I gave the location of the first two safe houses,” Liz explained. “Fortunately, they didn’t think to ask for more.

Liz continued, “They went on for 48 hours. Mostly, the questions were about what I knew about the aliens. For awhile, I was able to deny everything. Then, I began to fantasize. I made up ridiculous statements. Everything I said was treated the same. The inquisitors would follow whatever lines I laid out. When the leads played out, they would just move on the next one. They had infinite patience. I don’t know what I said after that. Later is when I went wild. They told me a little of what I had done.”

Liz turned to Michael, “When I first met Max, I was astounded that I had learned something, that few others knew. When I was in the white room, I remembered the responsibility of that knowledge.”

Michael was drinking his glass of orange juice. This was what he wanted. Liz had to face everything that had happened to her.

“I was completely in love with Max. Everything in my life, I would give up for him. I know that it may be different for boys of that age, but I don’t think Max was ever in love with me like I was with him.” Liz spooned out some of the eggs. Then, she ate for a while in silence.

Michael thought, at this time, he was fighting with Maria. Maria was anxious to form a relationship and Michael was just too immature. He kept telling himself that he had to be a soldier and Maria kept breaking down all his arguments.

Listening to Liz now, Michael was convinced that both he and Max were just too young to accept the responsibility of love. Max was trying to move forward, but his clumsy attempts were just that. They were attempts to be older, be macho and take more responsibility than he was ready for.

“When Tess came on the scene, I was even willing to give Max up to fulfill his destiny. I convinced myself that true love meant giving up as well as having. I told myself that I would always be true to my love by showing my willingness to turn away and let Tess have him. Of course, I expected Max to fight to keep me by his side. He was supposed to give up everything, just for me. I was willing to do it for him. That just didn’t happen the way I wanted it to,” Liz told Michael.

They remained in the room for the rest of the day. Michael went out for meals and brought them back. As he was dozing, Liz thought that it had been a long time since she had been in a room with a man and was not servicing him in some way. It was difficult for her to see that this was more than just a man. Michael was a friend.

Liz was also thinking, did she want to see Max again? For so long she had been told he was dead. She had come to term that this was so. Liz had given up her life, because of Max. Was it all worth it? With Max dead she didn’t want love from any man. She was determined to make it impossible, to be loved by any “decent” man. A whore could not know love. Did she want to return to those feelings she had worked so hard to “trash” in her life?

They were back on the road. Liz wasn’t fighting him, so Michael was taking a chance by not drugging her. Michael was mildly surprised. He had expected more of a fight. He had simply told her not to run and she seemed willing to remain. Michael was wondering how much of Liz’s actions had been suggestions, in some way or the other. It was as if she really didn’t care. Michael had told Liz that they were going to a place where they would be alone. That meant that she wasn’t going to be exposed to anyone she didn’t want to see, he hoped.

Liz thought being alone with Michael was no different from being with any other guy. Liz didn’t sense any danger in Michael, but she hadn’t sensed danger the other time.

Tiny had researched Michael for all the good it had done. Liz had no allegiance to Tiny. He had served his purpose, until things had grown out of his control. Tiny was supposed to protect her. Now she was with Michael. If he killed her, it would not really matter. Liz was dead already. Liz died for the second time when she looked up and she was alone with the men of the FBI Alien Hunters team.

Relying on his alien abilities, Michael was driving for long stretches of a time. Somewhere about Des Moines, Iowa, Michael got on US 35. They had traveled now another good 500 or more miles. He knew that he could have taken more a more direct route, but this way, he could easily remember on which roads to drive. They circled Minneapolis and staying on US 35, they, continued north. This added almost 400 miles to their journey. Near Duluth, Minnesota, they got on US 53. It would be about another 200 miles to the next big city. At International Falls, Minnesota, they turned back east on a road of some kind. A road named 11. Michael wasn’t quite sure of what kind of road this was. He was near the end of his endurance. He had been traveling on “alien power” for some time.

There were several communities along this road. Jesse had given Michael a name and general location of the man who would loan them his island and, also, service them for their stay.

Michael pulled into one of the small communities. He had an address that Jesse had given to him. Now, it was just a matter of finding the place. When he arrived, the man came out. He said nothing. He looked at Michael and, then, at the silent figure of Liz. He directed Michael to the docks and Michael handed him the keys to the Volvo. They all got into a powerboat. In a short time, the man had driven them to an island. It was very small, but there was a house on it.

Michael and Liz unloaded their luggage. The man had handed Michael a large box. It contained clothes for Liz since she had left everything back in New York. Maria had made the selections and shipped them by second day airfreight. They did have cell phone service on the island and a small generator to make electricity. For an indefinite time, this would be their world.

Begonia 9508
Garcia88
Natlalie36
L-J-L 76
Michelle in Yonkers
Xmag
Tinie38

Please read the author notes

Chapter 4 Day one

Michael fixed a breakfast of eggs and bacon. He was a man who believed in a hearty start for the day. Liz only had a small bowl of cereal. They ate in silence. Michael was determined that he was not going to push her.

Liz went walking across the island. It was small enough that it only took an hour to reach the opposite side. There was nowhere to go, so she would have to face her problems.

When she returned she found Michael holding a fishing rod at the boat dock.

She began, “They wanted to know if I could produce a baby with alien genes. All their research told them that I had picked up alien characteristics but they couldn’t find any strange genes. I knew that Max had awaken things in me but the changes were just developing human things, that had not functioned before.”

Yes, Michael was sitting on the dock holding a fishing pole. He wouldn’t catch anything because he had never put a hook on his line.

Liz continued, “At first they decided to use artificial insemination. When they explained it to me it all sounded so clinical. They never told me any of the results of the experiments.”

Michael was thinking that even though this was all painful to Liz it was necessary. She had to come to her own conclusions and decisions. Liz drifted off as she was talking to Michael. It was as if her mind set up barriers to protect her from certain thoughts.

Michael was in the cabin. He hadn’t seen Liz since her first revelations earlier. Liz had just drifted off just like her story had. When she got hungry enough he knew she would probably come back to the cabin. Michael was pretty sure they wouldn’t be bothered. They needed time for her to think her way through a life that began way before she was captured by the special unit or what ever it called itself now.

It was almost night when Liz returned. Liz had skipped lunch altogether. Michael was going to have to watch her very carefully. It wouldn’t do for her to start missing meals in some sort of self-punishment. Liz had to establish a routine as she worked her way through her story.

Liz started almost spontaneously. “When Tess came to our group, at first it seemed that Isabel was trying to use her to replace me. I don’t think Isabel ever really liked me. I always felt that she was looking for some way to replace me as the girlfriend of Max. Max kept telling me that he was magically drawn to Tess. Tess was the person who could tell him about himself. Tess could do for him what I couldn’t. All that I had done to this point had been just forgotten for a promise with which I couldn’t compete. Even you, Michael, seemed to think she was more important than I was. You all were so eager to find out about your past that your present became unimportant.”

Michael had thought for so long that he wanted something magical to appear and return him to some more secure situation. In Texas he had told Maria that he had a fantasy like hers that someone would come and rescue him. He didn’t really know what he wanted to be returned to, but any thing would be better than what he was living in at the time. Michael at that time hadn’t yet come to the realization that the magic wouldn’t be in the lies and deceits of Tess or in fantasies of a unknown people, but rather in the strength he found in the enduring closeness of Maria.

Liz became bitter, “He left me alone to be strapped to that slab. I will probably never know all the things they did to me. He had left me even before that, to go with Tess. All for the promise of immediate execution by the enemies he was embracing. Tess and Nasado both only wanted something for themselves. Neither of them cared about Max. My love was left as the only thing that was real. Max was willing to embrace any one else with the chance they would bring him something that I couldn’t.”

With this Liz again seemed to drift off into some sort of private world. Michael thought, “Until she allows me into that world we won’t make much progress.”

Liz was thinking of resentments that happened long ago. Somehow they were being remembered in her fight for self justification and the justification she felt about being abandoned by Max.

As Liz was sitting there Michael said, “What about Future Max and the deception you made with Kyle?”

The expression on her face did not change. Liz just stood up and walked to the room that they had designated as hers. Once the door was closed Michael could hear sobbing.

Xmag
L-J-L 76
Natalie36
Trulov
Roswellostcause
Begonia

Done correctly, Liz needs a professional therapist. That is not possible, so a caring person is the best they can do. Listening is what therapist do best. Michael is letting Liz work through he own problems. This allows him to be sympathetic and he makes himself non judgmental. The more I study the more I feel in correct that Max could not do any of this. Max will have a definite place in her recovery but only when she is strong enough to face him. Kyle has a very small but special roll in this story.

Michael has a special roll almost like a confessor. This is s fine line because Liz is vulnerable as we will see.

Mathematically I have looked at “TimeTravel” for several years. I can’t see how it could be possible. You would have something more like sliders where you could never come back to where you started. I can’t even justify writing about this any more. Almost everyone I read says “The End of the World” is one of the worst episodes that happened in Roswell.

It is society that brands the prostitute. The down side is though, the women herself usually ends in abuse. I purposely avoided the drug abuse, but as you read there was a problem rising with her pimp. He, at least in his mind was transferring from hired man to owner. If Liz had been forced into living with this there would have been big problems.

Chapter 5 Day 2

Michael had breakfast fixed when Liz got up. It was cold outside the cabin. There was a small propane hot water heater in the cabin. The limited supply made showers quick and not often. They were lucky that the cabin featured a special low flow toilet built inside instead of having to use the old outhouse that it had served for so many years.

Breakfast for Michael was slabs of ham with eggs, again washed down with coffee. For Liz, it was a simple cold cereal and juice. When she got up to go out, Michael handed her a small back pack. He had found it in one of the rooms of the cabin. This time, Michael had packed a lunch with an apple and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, along with a bottle of water. He had to get her into a routine of eating and caring for her health.

As soon as Liz was out, Michael called Maria. “I miss you, babe.”

“Right back at’ ya” Maria replied. “How is she doing?”

“Not good,” Michael stated. “She is talking about a lot of things that happened back in high school. She is making me think of so many things I said and did back then. Maybe it is true that high school kids should kept in cages. I just didn’t have the tools to start the relationships I really wanted. I keep thinking of how hard it was for me to see what I had in you. There were just so many different barriers that I built up.”

Maria giggled, “Yes, and I had so many things that I was looking for. Like the music career that I thought I wanted instead of the security I could find right before me.”

Michael thought for a minute, “Back at’ ya again, Babe, I will call in a few days. Love ya.”

Late that afternoon Liz returned. She placed the backpack on the table and sat down. “You know, there never was any time travel. That was something I never got answered. Time travel is impossible. I keep wondering why future Max didn’t want to talk to present Max. He kept saying that meeting your past self would cause a break in the continuum. I listened because I thought it was Max. I don’t know who it was, but I don’t, now, think it was really Max. Who can remember to the second when things, which happened, fourteen years in the past, really happened. Him remembering the Mariachi music was just too convenient. I never did even check to see if that singing Max did was real, anyway. We never talked about it. All I could think of was that I had to give Max to Tess.”

“You think it was some sort of mind warp, from Tess?” Michael asked.

Liz sat for several seconds. “That would make better sense than to pretend that time travel actually was possible.”

“You still say that nothing happened that night between you and Kyle?” Michael again inquired. She had told him that several times. Michael just had to be sure.

Liz sat with her eyes looking at something in her lap. She shook her head, “No, Kyle was a gentlemen and thinking about that now, that maybe was a surprise. Kyle, when we were going together, could only think of when he would get me in the sack. I, then, wasn’t ready to make love with anyone. I might have finally given in, if Max hadn’t come along. What do you think Kyle would say about me now?”

Michael served the salad he had prepared. He, also, had a small serving of fish, he had finally put a hook and bait on his line. Liz just nibbled at the meal. She was deep in thought.

Michael himself was thinking that she was showing concern about what Kyle thought that was something.

Begonia9508
Keepsmiling7
xmag
Natalie36
L-J-L 76

One of the things the writers got right, was that all four of the aliens lacked people skills. Isabel did a terrible job of talking to Alex at the party at the “soap factorey.” The interesting thing was that I saw a change in Michael more than any of the others. When he was with the security guards, Michael was learning to fit in. The boy who had the farthest to go was becoming the best at socialization. Until the set back with the cursed “seal” Michael was becoming a responsible man.

Because of his lowly beginnings Michael might have been the one to best understand Liz. Michael knew what it was to be at the bottom of life. Michael might, also, have been the best to support Liz. He knew what it was to bring yourself up.

Chapter 6 Day 3

Nothing happened. Liz walked around the island and Michael after taking charge of the domestic cares of the cabin, read some of his notes and a book he had picked up on deprogramming cult members. There was something strange. Liz wasn’t behaving like someone who had been rescued from a cult. According to the book, she should have been more belligerent and not so willing. Come to think of it, that is what everyone said about her. She was so willing. That was not even close to the normal Liz Michael knew.

Chapter 7 Day 4

When Liz had arisen, Michael was, as usual, making breakfast. This time, she had a small helping of eggs and some toast.

“Liz, I would be more comfortable if you would remain in the cabin this morning. Groceries will be delivered some time this morning. The fewer people who see, you the better. We still do not know who might be looking for you.” Michael instructed.

Liz looked at him. “What if I decide I want to be found?” There was even a tiny spark of defiance. That was a first.

Michael shrugged. If that became her choice, then his life became endangered and all he and Maria had been trying to do would be a waste. “There might be a time when that will be your choice. At least allow us to know enough, to understand what you choose. Liz, give us a chance.”

Liz had no ill feeling for Michael. In fact, she had no feeling at all. His request seemed to be what kept her with him. There was something to do with the statement, “I would prefer you stay in the cabin.” That was strange. What he wanted her to do seemed so correct. Later, Jesse would explain what he discovered about her obedience in many things.

Somewhere, Liz was sure there should be feelings for someone. Tiny Williams was a man of convenience. He set up her liaisons and that allowed Liz to be just one more step removed from emotional contact with the men to which she went. When she was having sex with the men she had no feelings. She could feel their greedy hands and when she was entered, she felt the draining within the condom that she insisted they wear. Some of them tried to kiss her, but she refused to respond.

Somewhere in her past, she had read a period novel. The term “Hauling their ashes” was used for the act of professional sex. That was what Liz was doing. For a price, she was hauling the ashes of a man’s physical passion. The price didn’t include his emotional or mental well being. Tiny would set up the clients. He would screen them to an extent. The fact that Michael was able to get around Tiny’s security, testified that it wasn’t that good. Liz thought Tiny wasn’t that great at anything, barely worth what she paid him. Tiny thought that he owned her, but to Liz, he was just someone she hired.

The groceries were delivered. Michael said little and the men who brought the cargo asked nothing. They were being paid to make a delivery and nothing else. Their inquisitive eyes did search what they could see for any clue as to the situation that was here.

Michael found a child’s wagon in a shed behind the cabin. He pulled the wagon load of groceries back to the cabin. It took three trips. After the first trip Michael was a bit surprised that the groceries that he had deposited on the porch had been taken into the cabin and Liz was busy putting them away. He shrugged. Maybe, this was just Liz trying to find some activity. Liz, was trying to alleviate her boredom from having nothing to do.

Liz didn’t go walking that afternoon. She was sitting in the cabin, looking out the window at the lake. There was a family of ducks floating near the dock. Their aimless circles, as they swam around each other, mimicked her own mind.

“They wanted to find if I could produce children who would have the same characteristics that I was displaying. I was drugged so much of the time that I didn’t know exactly what characteristics they were talking about. It seems the first week, I wrecked havoc on the lab. Things flew through the air and bashed themselves against the walls. Any person coming near me would be bent over with convulsions. It wasn’t until I was exhausted that they gave me some other drug and they found that I was tamed. I could no longer show aberrations as they called them. They said I would, now, do what they told me”

Liz continued, “As I said they wanted children that had the characteristics I had shown on the first few days. They started with harvesting my eggs. They would take them as they were produced, giving me drugs to hasten the ovulation. I never knew what happened to them. It must have been unsuccessful because after a few months they decided to just rape me. I would be assaulted by a technician. Then they would study my body every day looking for some changes. After a month or so, I would be assaulted again, by a different technician. For some reason, I never fought back like I had that first week.”

Michael was not a scientist, but this sounded like a far cry from any science he could imagine.

Liz got up and walked to the window. The ducks were now diving beneath the water, looking for food. They were no longer just aimlessly swimming. She could only wish that her life could take on meaning, but maybe, it was way too late. “This went on for most of the time I was at the lab. Toward the end, I think the technicians were just coming to me for their own pleasure. The exams were stopped. It seemed that the official structure of the lab had fallen”

Without more discussion, Liz got up and walked outside. She went down to the docks to better observe the ducks. Maybe, they had some secret that they could share with her. How did they know when they should quit wasting time going in circles and do something to sustain their lives?

As Liz left, Michael was. When the FBI attack had happened, the first thing he could think of was Maria. Max, when they were in high school, once asked that Michael, when he felt his urges getting out of control, come to the group and talk about it. Michael had tried to explain that when these passions for Maria were arising, Max and the other alien, Isabel, were not his first concern.

No, when the shit hit the fan, Michael had grabbed the most valuable thing in his life, Maria. He would have gladly given his life for her. In the end, he was glad that that sacrifice had not been necessary. Living with Maria, and even fighting with her, was much preferable to dying for her.

Michael was feeling pain way down in his loins. He lusted so much for the girl who was now a woman that he loved. Michael took his cell phone and called. “Maria, no nothing yet. I was just so yearning to hold you. I need the sound of your voice to make me strong.”

Maria, on her end of the conversation, once she was assured that nothing serious had gone wrong with their plans, began to feel the same pain that was affecting Michael. “Babe, do you want me to come there earlier than we had planned?”

“No, Maria, it is best that we follow the plan. Liz needs as little distraction as possible. She needs to bring everything that she has hidden, out into the open. She needs to see we don’t judge and she needs to not judge herself, either.” Michael explained, but he really wanted to say was, “No, fly immediately and come to me. ‘To hell, with Max and Liz,’ I just want you.”

Michael made his body calm down and fit with his intellect. They wanted to solve this problem and see where they would take Max from here. If Liz didn’t come around to accept Max again, then they had a problem. Maria said that Max still couldn’t feel anything of his connection with Liz. They had no idea of why he couldn’t do that. In the past, he could feel her from a very far distance. Something was blocking him at this time. Was it Liz, herself? That was a problem they had no solution for, yet, but they had talked about it. How would Max take it, if Liz decided she never wanted to see him again?

There was some sweet talk; pet names and Michael even degenerated into explicit sex he wanted to feel from Maria. That caused Maria to giggle. Michael was hers and she wanted, badly, to fulfill all these desires as soon as she could. Maybe next time, she would have some explicit demands of her own to sustain Michael in his distance.

Liz didn’t yet know how she got away from the white room. She had allowed herself to be picked up several times. They were always one night stands. Liz didn’t have enough feeling to generate interest in a man for more than one time. At this time, she had not demanded any money. She was searching for something which she couldn’t find. Liz was wondering now. She had no idea what was directing the wandering she did in her travels.

Liz had drifted to California. Right now, she couldn’t think why she went there. There never had been any incentive to call anyone in Roswell. Except for the few attempts at talking to her father, which had been disappointing, she was not sure why, but she was certain that the FBI was no longer a danger. There was just something that gave her a horror of calling anyone else in Roswell.

In California, she had tried movies. Of course to get these parts, many times, it was necessary to put out for someone, especially if you didn’t have any money to pay your way with a real manager. Liz was smart and she could have easily learned to be an actor. Liz had no career direction. She took whatever was offered with no questions. That made it very easy to end up one day in the porn industry. The fact that she never questioned anything, was perfect for them. Thinking about that, now, was confusing. Liz was sure that when she was young, she had questioned many things.

Michael was having trouble wondering why she seemed to be with out a compass in her life. Obviously, her connection with Max wasn’t working. Max, at no time, had felt anything from her. According to Maria, even now, he had no knowledge of Liz. Max had been blinded as to anything about Her.

This career, if it could be called that, probably would have led her into one of the darker corners of that industry. Things like “Snuff Films,” usually depended on kidnapping some woman. The woman would be someone who had no close ties with family or apparent friends. Her death would not be known, except by the perverts who viewed the films. That would have been the life of Liz.

Liz had no direction in her life, but her instinctive feel for survival did kick in when gangster ties to the industry, led to a shooting right on the set. Liz, in only a robe, had fled. She was never sure how she got to where she was as a prostitute. Surely, something must have happened between the choice of her profession and the time she was in the films. She just couldn’t remember.

Hauling away their ashes. That described her. She was not hauling living embers or flaming coals, but rather, dead ashes of desire, which only wanted a sexual release from pressure. Until Michael kidnapped her, that was the summation of her life.

Michael was sitting in the cabin. He was sure Liz would come back after she had some time alone. That was the purpose of the island. On land, anywhere, there would be a chance that Liz might run away or just innocently drift away. Michael was sure that if running was her only thought, Liz would be able to find a way to escape. He was counting on the fact that she might be as interested as they were about why all the things had happened to her. He was also interested in the way she reacted when he told her he preferred her to stay.

Now, Michael was confronting his own demons. The first demon was his intense desire for Maria. When he was traveling, looking for Liz, he had missed Maria, but he had always been on the move. He really hadn’t had time to think about his own problem.

When Michael had first seen Maria, he was still in the isolationist mode. The three of them, Max, Isabel and Michael, had convinced themselves that they would never let anyone into their secret. Isabel matured the fastest and she found the desire to be appreciated by boys before Michael and Max showed this. Max had a little girl that he had a crush on. He really didn’t understand this yet. He just yearned to keep her close like he kept Isabel, his sister. As they grew up, Max was introduced to the sexual maturity that was stirring within him. At first, Max remembered the pact they had made. He was never to know the feeling that others around him would feel. He would never know the feelings of closeness, he saw in his parents.

Michael had less built-in responsibility than did Max. Michael wasn’t taught to care for anyone. After they got back from Texas, the time he spent with Maria started to awaken something in him. Maria was perfectly willing to be his teacher. She would lead him down the paths of close encounter. As sophisticated as Maria felt she was, she had had many talks with her mother, Maria wasn’t ready for the commitment she had been demanding from Michael. It wasn’t until the night before the aliens were to leave with Tess, that Maria made that leap in her mind.

Maria decided that she wanted sex with Michael. Michael wasn’t sure that all his preparations that night had been to initiate this. When Maria came on to him, opening his shirt to put her hands on his bare body, Michael felt his own hands exploring hers. As his hands drifted to places where before they might have been forbidden, Michael felt within himself the pressure to make love with Maria. That pressure had never lessened nor had he ever forgotten the first time.

Now, he was facing the fact that it could be several weeks before he felt her in his arms. This was disturbing, but he would somehow get through. Now Michael was old enough to realize that responsibility came first. Oh how he wanted Maria.

Michael had almost as strong an attachment, as Max had with Isabel. When they were attacked, though, he could only think of Maria. He truly didn’t think about Isabel until they were clear. Max had a second problem, that Michael knew about and eventually, he would have to explain this problem to Liz. Max really did believe he was king. The desire to rule had not set in except for a short time when Tess was fueling it, but the responsibility toward others, had been natural in Max all his life. He always felt he had the care of all around him. Max would have gone to Isabel because she was hurt. Liz was part of him and he might have left her with the same abandon that he left his own safety. Now, Max just couldn’t face that he had caused Liz to be captured, or, at least, allowed it. There were so many things that Michael couldn’t understand. Why were they shooting at Max, instead of trying to capture him?

Toward sundown, Liz returned. Outwardly, there was no difference in her mood. Inside of Liz, though, there was the beginning of a fire. She didn’t know what it was, but there was something that she was beginning to reach for.

Xmag
Natalie36
Garcia88
Begonia9508
l-J-L 76

author note

All the questions will be answered in the story. I was remembering, the other day that information services during the “cold war” were into pretty weird things. Even though society condemned drugs the spooks were willing to try anything to get a jump on the “Russians.” They played around a lot with para-normal skills after many of the main stream scientist had rejected these skills at this time. A human, who was learning para-normal abilities was even more important than aliens. It is for later to find out how they knew so much about Liz. (The man running the unit at this time is deathly afraid of aliens) If a human could learn then, other humans could learn also. Again remember that in the last of the twentieth century some of our leaders smoked, drank, snorted and by other methods partook of many strange things.

Maria and Michael had a plan. Remember that Michael was trying to read books on deprogramming. Even if Michael makes Liz try to take anger out on him, he has to make her even see anger first. Michael has to walk a fine line.

Maria does not want Max to push Liz. She wants Max to accept Liz and for Liz to be strong enough to stand up for herself. Then maybe Max and Liz can form a partnership. I started last fall on a story where it is Isabel who is hurt. I brought her back to Alex with out thinking about making her strong. She is still not standing on her own feet and I am already on the sequal. I will have to think of some way to strengthen her. I want all my characters to be equal. I do not want to make the same mistake with Liz.


Chapter 8 Day 5

Liz, who up to now, had felt nothing. She had gone along with Michael, but now, she was starting to desire more. She had been outside the door the last time when he was talking with Maria. His allusions to sex were filled with passion. They were so unlike her own. She was beginning to think about herself.

Liz had no prejudices. no particulars. She had made love to men whenever they desired, providing they could pay. She, in her mind, had isolated her action from the concept of making love. Now, she was trapped with only one man and he didn’t seem to desire her. That he needed sex, was evident from the phone call she had over heard. She became curious why he didn’t take advantage of her, instead of grieving for what he did not have?

After breakfast, instead of leaving, Liz stayed at the cabin. Michael noticed, but figured this must another step they had to overcome. Michael busied himself with domestic chores about the cabin. Liz sat at the windows alternately looking out the window and looking at Michael. Michael figured there would be a question and answer session coming up soon.

Finally, Liz brought the subject up. “Michael, I know you miss Maria. Why haven’t you made a move on me? I am here and you know that I wouldn’t say anything if you wanted me. That is what I have been doing for over a year, standing in place of someone’s true love. Men come to me if they have lost their love, sometimes, if they are away from their love and sometimes, when they just want more than their love. Why haven’t you tried to get something from me?

Michael knew that something was up, but he didn’t expect this. “Liz, you are Maria’s friend. Do you think she would take advantage of Max just because you weren’t around?” Michael explained.

Liz thought for a minute. I do not know. If She and Max were lonely, why not? Unless they told me, I wouldn’t know. If we didn’t tell, she would never know what we did,”

Michael looked at Liz, “Is that it? Are you lonely?”

Liz returned the look and stared him right in the face. She became defensive. “I don’t have any feelings, but listening to your phone call it seems that you might be lonely.” Liz thought there was the start of some feelings deep inside her. Michael had hurt her. He had drugged her much like the FBI. Why was she even concerned about his feelings? She had never asked men she was with before, whether or not they were lonely.

Michael held Liz’s hand. “Liz, we would know. We would always know that we betrayed our friends. You and I don’t love each other and we would be risking the love that is real for some need, not love, that is immediate.”

Liz sat for several minutes, “I was betrayed. Betrayed by a king who worried more about his kingdom than he did about his wife.”

Michael held her head in his arms. “No, Liz, I do not think that was it. Max was reacting to the immediate need of Isabel. After he had made a move toward her, the gunfire was directed at him. They weren’t trying to capture him. They were trying to kill him. He couldn’t bring you into that line of fire. That they were trying to capture you, was not understood at that time.

Liz looked up. “Michael, if I can’t be first in Max’s heart, then I do not want to be there at all. Michael, being captured cost me too much to ever forget.”

“Is that what this year has been about? You want to remove yourself from his heart? You would debase your self so much that he wouldn’t take you back, so you would be justified in thinking he had abandoned you?” Michael asked.

Liz looked at Michael and glared for a few minutes. Then her face softened to its normal neutral expression. “Maybe, I just don’t know.”

Liz got up and walked to the other side of the island. Was that what she had been doing? Trying to destroy everything Max loved in her, because she felt abandoned. Seldom in the white room did any of the technicians talk to her. When they were examining her, they always talked in the third person like she wasn’t there.

Liz guessed that talking about her in the third person made her more of a specimen than a person. There had been Ronny. Ronny had once asked Liz about what her life was like back in high school. It started out just another interview, but Ronny let it get away from him. He had been writing copious notes. They were talking about biochemistry. He had just asked her what were the goals of her studies. Liz had answered that her dream was to go to Harvard and study biochemistry. Before he caught himself Ronny, asked why?

“From the first time I entered the chemistry room, the smells were all so different. I always tried to identify them. I would ask the older students in chemistry class what they were studying. Later, I could tell what the class was doing by the smells,” Liz answered.

“Yes, and the smells of the class told what the teacher would be talking about,” Ronny replied. “What other classes did you take?”

I took an astronomy class. It was part of a physics program, but the study of the stars was so vast that I could imagine a person being lost in the void,” Liz stated.

They went on like that talking about high school classes and what they would be like when she got to college when, suddenly, Ronny stopped. He looked at Liz and picked up his tablet and left. Liz realized then that they did not intend for her to ever be allowed to go to college. That was when the rapes started, now that she could think of it. Ronny was never one of the technicians who assaulted Liz. When the assaults stopped being part of the study and were just occurring without reason, Ronny was never one of those who came to Liz.

Ronny only came to her one more time. Liz had been hurt. She was lying in pain on her cot. Ronny came to her with cold compresses. He applied the compresses to her body, but he didn’t say anything. Liz, when she returned to Michael, told him that story.

That night after she went to bed Michael called Jesse. “There is a small break through. There was a technician named Ronny. He was kind to Liz. If we could find him, we might learn more. He might be willing to make a deal.”

L-J-L 76
Xmag
Begonia9508
Natalie36

The original writers left seeds of insanity when they developed Pierce and the special unit. They were trying to show a unit that was without oversight. Pierce himself in the megalomaniac position that he alone was protecting the Earth from an invasion. He saw himself as the single barrier to prevent this. Nasado took over when Pierce was killed and he ran the unit into the ground by leaving it open to congressional review which it couldn’t stand up to.

Pierce ran the unit more like a unit of interrogation by torture. He alluded to a scientific research unit. Nothing he did had any science value. Michael in this story says that didn’t sound like any science he had ever heard of. Read the “Offer” by Misha. There is a true scientific organization. She has shown people who want to learn.

It has already been shown that the rogue unit is no longer interested in aliens but they rather want to know if alien power can be transferred to humans. There is basis for this as the “cold war spooks” did tend to dabble in the paranormal secretly. The unit has neither the leadership structure nor the scientific integrity to go at this scientifically. Liz is the same as told that she will never be released. Ronny let her know that she wouldn’t be allowed to live out her life.

For Liz there is very little difference between when she is raped for “scientific reasons,” and the casual rapes that were later. The drugs had broken her down so that she was just going trough the motions of living.

I hope at least some readers can stay with me until the Roswell group starts to build Liz up. The story is about building back her life. ‘

Flashes had never occurred to me. I guess I will explain this by when Liz and Max lost all their connection she just no longer thought of flashes. Michael and Maria were never into flashes anyway.

I think we are going to bury the future Max story under mind warps. Eve said on chapter 5 page 5 that she had long thought that. I have tried to write stories about time travel and they all raised many more questions than they answer. “useful” time travel is just too difficult to consider.

The flashbacks to high school are to let readers see that there were many things that Liz ignored until her capture. Then her mind looked for fault. This is a feeling I know when you try to see reasons for bad things that happen. Your mind attempts to relive everything to see where you failed and brought catastrophe on yourself

This part was hard to write. Now we are going to see Liz being helped by people of good intention but what they do only drags her deeper into the underside of society.

Please understand that the story has been written and I will only change things to make it clearer. It has a fairly nice ending. I hope you like the Maria I am building.


Chapter 9 Day 6

Liz was late getting up. When she did come out of her room, she just ate a cold cereal and left even before Michael could fix a lunch.

Michael called Maria. “I you could have seen her last night. There may not be any of the old Liz left. We may have work with Max and get him to learn to live without her.”

“Michael, I just can’t believe there isn’t something, somewhere that we can recognize as the old Liz. What happened to her, anyway?” Maria was asking.

“She was terribly abused in the white room. We got together and saved Max before much could happen. Liz lived through it all. Her actions since are a result of that debased feeling. She wants to make sure no one ever wants her. We all gathered together and Max learned we would risk all to save him. Liz felt that she was totally abandoned. For a while, they told her that everyone was dead by her own fault. Now, she learns that no one died except her. Maria, she died there. Maybe not her body, but her spirit died. Maria, she is very self-destructive. She is not suicidal yet, but I imagine we should watch her very carefully.

There was one thing, though. There was a technician named Ronny who was kind to Liz. Jesse is going to look for him.

Maria was silent for sometime, “Do you think we should bring Max there? Would it help for him to see where she is and try to win her back?”

“No, that would be the worst thing right now. Max would say and do all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Liz has to be very strong before she faces Max again. She has to feel that she can stand on her own. Then maybe she can accept Max on equal terms. If she can accept it, she needs his love not his sympathy. She must see her self, walking toward Max, not crawling. Max has to see himself, walking beside her. For Liz to accept being won, she must feel herself strong.”

Liz returned. “Was that Maria?” she asked pointing to the closed phone Michael was putting in his pocket.

“Yes, she doesn’t completely understand what happened to you. It is hard for me to explain. I am not sure all you have told me fits together yet in my mind. Maybe, you should try to dig deeper into what happened and tell me.”

“Yeah, maybe, but not now. Now, I want you to tell me more about my relationship with Maria.”

“You and Maria were like sisters, I guess. Maria always thought herself to be the big sister. She knew that you were always smarter than she was, but she thought herself more worldly. Maria learned about the world, meaning sex from watching her mom. She couldn’t remember when she didn’t know that women needed men for something more than just being around the house and mowing the grass. Maria learned about sex by spying on her mother. At school, she always thought that she was protecting you. When you first went to the eraser room, Maria was warning you like she would a daughter. You had no idea what went on in that room. Neither did Maria, but she built up a fiction that it must be like her mother’s bedroom. A place where people went when they wanted adult things.” Michael sat a minute and thought.

All of what he was saying was taken from what he had learned about Maria. After the time he spent with Maria in the motel while traveling to Texas looking for the geodesic dome of Atherton, Michael had become first interested and, then, fascinated by her. Michael had no role model of being with a girl. He had the magazines and drunken stories of his foster father, Hank, but that was no help. Instead of embracing the fact that he knew a girl, Michael built a wall that he was above emotion and romance. He thought that wall was some noble gesture. Michael was a soldier. He couldn’t allow feelings to go too deep with Maria. The wall had to be broken down from Michael’s side. While doing that, because of her incessant objections for his wall, Michael became an expert on the subject of Maria.

He continued, “Maria was constantly giving you advice. She gave advice like her mother did from experience, except Maria had no experience. Maria would have dearly loved to see the inside of the eraser room. When we first went there, she had no reluctance, no matter what she told you. When you and Max were getting close, Maria worried like a mother hen that you were going to sleep with him. She kept telling you that wasn’t you, being you. It wasn’t jealously, but more, she felt she should go down that road first. She should be the guide you would turn to with questions. Like you always knew all the answers in class, Maria felt she should know all the answers in life.”

Michael turned to Liz, “When we finally got back together after the raid, it was Maria who was mad at Max. It was Maria who wanted to return to rescue you. Trouble was, the actually rescuing of Max, after we found him, was instigated by Nasado. Of course, he did this for personal reasons, but alone and without any connection, we had no idea how to even look you. Most of what we did was to improvise.” Michael was wondering how badly the ranting of Maria had affected Max. Max didn’t show emotion like she did, but Michael knew that Max had great fears of how his actions might have allowed Liz to be lost.

Liz got up to go back on her walk. She did pick up the backpack that Michael had put in a lunch. Liz felt even more alone. Being abandon by Max was bad enough, but they had no more idea of what was happening to her than she had of them still being alive.

The alien hunters had been able to cut her off from reality. They had instilled something in her that still separated her from having feeling about Max and he, returning those feelings. How did she escape? That was something Liz wanted to think about.

Right now, she didn’t even have enough knowledge of how she got away, to ask more information of Michael. Michael had implied that powerful forces had risen to stop the investigation of aliens, at least as far as the Roswell youth were concerned. That still didn’t explain how she physically escaped and what happened to her right after. She was drugged for so long, Liz was trying to remember when she first felt that her mind was clear.

Was there a drug hangover or an anxiety as she was flushing the drugs out of her system? Did this anxiety have anything to do with the situation she found her self in? Until Michael found her, had her mind ever been clear? How clear was it now?

Michael was wrestling with another problem. They would be out of clean clothes soon. They needed to make a laundry run. Was it safe to take Liz away from the island? Was it safe for her to be seen by anyone? Was there any kind of BOLO on her, (Be On the Look Out for)?

Liz had been on the set. The set consisted of a bed surrounded on one side with chairs. Powerful lights lit up the bed. The directors, producers and others who just wanted the voyeuristic feeling of watching sex were seated in the chairs. A screen was erected. When the ready call went out, Liz came in. She was wearing high heels, but under her robe nothing else. The director liked Liz because she caught on so quickly. She always did exactly what he said. Liz, behind the screen, took off her robe and, climbed into bed. Since the movie cameras would be above the drooling men, Liz raised one leg to present an attempt at tasteful pose.

The director called roll ‘em and a handsome man came out of the trailer. The screen was removed and the leading man approached. As the cameras were panning Liz’s body and emphasizing her incongruous high heels, the man with his cock at full mast walked into the camera range and climbed over the bed to mount her. He leaned away from the cameras so full view of what he was doing could be filmed. Liz lowered her raised knee, which had been to the film, if not the drooling audience, a modesty barrier. Before the act of sex could be consummated and filmed, shots rang out.

At the sound of the first shot, the libido of the leading man wilted and withdrew to hide itself within his body. He ran from Liz’s bed to cower in one of trailers which by chance, was the women’s restroom. Liz likewise ran. She did have the presence of mind to grab her robe. Running in her heels was difficult. She got away from the set. All she could think of was putting as much distance from the set and herself as possible. When she reached the highway, she was standing dressed only in her heels and a robe. It wasn’t long before a trucker seeing her, slowed and waited for her to catch up.

“Where ye’ going, Babe?” the driver asked.

Liz just pointed down the road the way the truck had been going.

“Well, get in Babe. We will see about getting ya that a way,” the driver stated.

They drove in silence for some time. The trucker saw, now that he had a close up view, that his passenger was naked under that robe. He had no idea what her problem was, but as far as he was concerned, she was a gift from someplace.

“Honey, I can git you up north, but it’s gonna cost ya’” he said.

Liz looked at him. She just wanted to get as far away as possible. “Okay,” she nodded.

The trucker pulled into a motel that catered for truckers. He got down and going to her side, he helped her down. As his hands felt her naked body under the robe, he thought, “Oh lordy, I must have been nice to someone. This is going to be a night to remember.”

The next morning he brought a continental breakfast into their room for Liz. As they were getting back in the cab he helped her up to the door. His hand on her bare butt sent tingles through his body. Once in the cab, the trucker spoke. “I can take you as far as Yuba City, if you are willing to pay like last night,” he stated.

Liz just nodded. She had no idea of where or what Yuba City was, but it was away from where she was earlier yesterday.

They continued driving. For the first time in his career, the trucker drove the speed limit. He didn’t want to hurry this trip. It was late when he arrived at his next stop. The warehouse was closed so he would have to wait until morning. The trucker knew he would get chewed out by his supervisor, but if Liz was anything like last night it would be worth it.

The trucker left her at the motel-truck stop. She had fulfilled her bargain and he felt he had fulfilled his, also.

Liz went into the coffee shop. She just needed a place to sit. The waitress came over. She had seen it before. The trucker having picked up a hitchhiker, then, leaving them after they had felt they were paid. As she approached Liz, the waitress was surprised to see that Liz was naked under her robe. There must be a story here. Maybe, she could help. Susie brought over a coffee cup to Liz. Liz shook her head vigorously. “I have no money. I just need a place to sit for a minute.”

There were two things about Susie. She was all heart and very practical. “Honey, don’t worry about the money. If you wait until my break in a few minutes, I will take you over to my apartment and you can stay with me for a few days.”

Liz, again, just nodded. She drank the coffee. It tasted good as it warmed her body. Soon, Susie came over and took her by the arm. “Just come with me honey.” She led Liz to a small house a short distance from the truck stop. Susie was about the same size as Liz. She pointed to her closet. Try some of those things on, honey. I will be back in a couple of hours. Then, we can talk.” Susie left.

Liz put on a blouse and a pair of slacks. It seemed a little too intimate to borrow any of Susie’s under clothes, but she did feel better wearing something besides the robe.

Susie came back. “You can stay with me for a while, but you’ll have to pay your way,” Susie said.

Liz looked at her with questioning expression. Susie knew she had no money.

“Look, honey, there are only a couple men a night, but we make $100 off of each one that we service. I will let you keep half for yourself.”

Liz, still in a stupor, just nodded. With this, she entered the next phase of her life as a professional woman.

When Liz returned to Michael that afternoon, she was shaking. He took her in his arms and held her as she cried. It was difficult to hold her, but Michael kept saying, “I can only wait for Maria.”

When Liz had gotten control of herself, he led her to her bed. Sitting there, she reveled her latest bit of history. After Michael had talked to her he finally left. Michael called Maria. “She just made another step, babe. She came back from her walk sobbing. I need to make a laundry run, but I think I am going to have to get our friend to take our laundry for us. Make sure he gets his checks on time.” Michael was talking to Maria mostly, to hear her voice and bring himself closer to her, even if he couldn’t touch her.

Michael, then, sitting and almost crying himself, said, “Maria, I miss you more than ever before.”

Maria answered, “What happened, Michael? You have been gone longer before.”

“It’s just that this isn’t Liz. You were right what you said. She is just not acting like the Liz we knew,” he told her.

“Is something wrong, Michael? You do not sound like yourself, either,” Maria asked.

“No… it is just that, things are complicated. Liz has a long way to come back. I am starting to wonder if I can bring her back.” With that, Michael hung up.

Begonia9508
Starcrazed
Xmag
L-J-L 76
Natalie36

Please look at the author note. There is one other person who might come close to the ideal fit to help Liz. it must still be canon though.

Chapter 10 Day 7

When Liz came into breakfast, she was hungry. She hadn’t eaten anything last night. She had a big helping of eggs and drank two cups of coffee. Michael looked at her and said, “Liz, honey, we have to think about doing laundry. Do you think you would be up to a trip to town?”

Her demeanor changed instantly. She vigorously shook her head, no. Michael shrugged. That answered his question. At least she knew that she didn’t want to be in public yet. Better telling him now, than chance running off if they went out. Michael called the man who cared for them. He arranged for their laundry to be picked up and returned the next day. The man would send it to a commercial laundry.

Since Liz didn’t get up from the table, Michael sat down beside her. “Michael, do you know how easy it is to slip into something you do not believe in. I still do not know how I got into the film industry, but I remember how I slipped into prostitution. It was a chance where my body was all I had to trade for what I had to have, to survive. I had lost all feeling for love or sex in the white room. I had brought the FBI down on all of you. They told me you were all dead. I had nothing to live for. The things I had been made to do in the white room, were used with Susie, to get me away from the shooting at the film site. The truck driver was just asking for the same as I had done, so many times in the lab. Now, though, it was my choice.

The technicians taking from me, was the reason they kept me alive. I gave to the trucker the same again to stay alive. The trucker felt that he had gotten payment for breaking the rules against having any non-driver in the cab. He was taking a chance of being caught and he felt that my body was worth the chance. Susie wasn’t asking me to do anything she wasn’t doing. She was being generous by sharing her clients with me. She helped me get a wardrobe. She helped me make a start for myself. Susie showed me how to use my body to make a living.”

Michael, wisely, didn’t say anything. He didn’t understand and he wondered what he would do if he had been a girl like Liz, presented with the obstacles she was. The thought that Maria could be called on to do what Liz had done, disturbed him. A man always has his strong back to serve him. He can always turn to physical labor. That wasn’t always open to a woman. Then, Michael thought, Liz survived. She shed the trappings of civilization, the teachings of church, school and home to survive. That had to be a, “certain strength.” Now, could she put that behind her? If all the others could bring themselves to accept her, could she learn to forgive her self?

Michael had the question that must be answered someday. Could Max put all she had been through behind him? Would the pride of his manhood keep him from understanding that she gave all she had just to stay alive. That being alive should be a cherished gift, if she offered herself to him, again. If Michael reached an understanding with Liz, could someone reach one with Max, not to seek blame or cast guilt to him self or more importantly to Liz? But rather, to glory in the truth, that they were both alive. Being alive, they still had a chance at a future of happiness and love. Michael found working with Liz difficult, but Maria would have the harder task. She would work with Max.

There were still holes in the story from Liz. Would they be able to fill in the rest of them. How did Liz escape the “White room?” What did she do after being a waitress in the southwest? How did she get to California? How and why did she flee to the east coast? How did she get connected with the pimp, Tiny Williams?

Michael felt that if he could fill in all these holes in the story of Liz, he or someone else, could talk to her. Then they could learn how to cleanse her mind and get on with her life.

They spent the morning collecting laundry. While Liz stayed in the cabin to not be seen, Michael took the bundles to the dock. Soon, the laundry was picked up. Michael thought it probably was better that Liz had not been seen, but who ever did the laundry would see the number of feminine things and draw their own conclusion about what was going on at the cabin.

After, the laundry had been taken off by the boat, Liz proceeded outside. As usual, she walked to the far side of the island. Michael had not spied on her. He had decided early on in their forced relationship that she needed some things about her life that could remain private. Even though he could probably have sneaked through the woods to see where she went every day, he didn’t. It was a point of honor for him.

At some time in the past, someone had set up some stumps. They had arrayed them so one could sit on any of the stumps and look out across the lake. That had become the sanctuary for Liz.

Liz assumed that somewhere beyond the northern horizon was Canada. Right now for her, the horizon represented the end of the earth. There was nothing beyond it. When she saw ships appear over the horizon, it was a miraculous generation. The ship appeared from nowhere and came to the shores she had seen. Then later, the ship would travel back to the horizon and disappear. That was her life. Parts of it had appeared from nowhere and, then, disappeared to reappear again in a different place and a different time.

Deep in the logic that had incubated in her mind, trough out, high school, told Liz that, just like the real trip of the ships, her life had connections. Her life had gotten away from her, but now, maybe, she could regain control. She wondered about Michael. Liz knew how lonesome he was for Maria. Earlier in their association, Liz had offered herself the only way she knew how to comfort his feelings. Now, she did understand that it just wasn’t having someone with him, but it was Maria and only Maria who could bring him comfort again. Liz realized that, at one time, she had felt that way about Max. Then, she had something to offer Max, her innocence.

Now there probably was nothing about her that Max would ever want again. Liz felt that Max had betrayed her in abandoning her, but she had trashed any chance to be wanted honorably by any man. She had trashed her life because she believed, at the time, that she had lost everything. She had also betrayed all of them. If it hadn’t been for her, none of them would have been in danger. Maybe, it was justice that she was left behind and Max had saved the person most valuable, Isabel.

Max, in his present depression, had retreated within his soul. Liz, in her depression, had destroyed everything about herself that she held valuable. But, it was partly trashed anyway. The technicians of the white room had seen to that.

The assaults had become repetitive. For a while after every assault, she would undergo exams to see if she had conceived. Then, as the structure of the unit running the white room broke down, the assaults just happened. They happened when she was brought food. They happened when she was allowed to go to the showers to clean up. Liz was retreating deeper into herself because she couldn’t face the only constant in her life, that she would be continually assaulted.

Then one day, it all quit. That should have been a comfort, but contact with anyone also quit. Liz just sat in her cell for three days. She had running water, but no food and no freedom, even if it was only to go through the gauntlet to the showers.

Liz was getting weak. Then, one day the door of her cell just opened. She walked out. Walking down the long hall she saw a sign saying cafeteria. She followed the direction that the sign was pointing. There, she found a kitchen, and freezers and refrigerators full of food. Liz fixed herself a meal. Still, no one was around. She, finally, wandered to the massive door that led to the outside. She had never been this far before. The glare of the sun was blinding. Liz followed the sound of traffic, more than sight, until she came upon a highway. Since Liz was standing on the highway, a trucker slowed and stopped. “Need a lift, little lady?” came the call.

Liz climbed into the cab. The old man wasn’t talkative, but he pulled off the road just before he got to the truck stop. “I can see you need help. I am gonna let you off here, cause you know that I am not supposed to have any riders. Walk to the truck stop and ask for Wanda. Maybe, she can get you a job and some help.” Nothing more was asked of her.

Wanda was a large, motherly woman who took Liz in with no questions. Soon Liz was serving as a waitress. This was a job she seemed to know well. The salary was small and Liz was stuck here at the truck stop.

Liz hurried back to the cabin. This was something brand new that she had to tell Michael.

“That must have been the time when we closed the unit. Either they hoped you would die and never be heard from, again, or in their rush to get out, the last person to leave forgot to turn out the lights, or in your case, to either let you go or to kill you outright,” Michael stated. Michael now had one more bit of information about what had happened to Liz. He was glad that at least the truck driver and this Wanda person hadn’t done anything to hurt Liz.

Liz turned to Michael, “How did you close the unit down for the second time? I know that the first time Nasado was put in charge and he deliberately killed the unit while sleeping with one of your arch enemies, the skin Whitiker.” Liz wondered.

Michael wondered himself, “When did our arch enemies become your arch enemies? Somewhere along this time Liz was already distancing her self from the group.”

“Well, Jim Valenti and Philip Evans led the fight. They both used the premise that the FBI unit had been created to stop an invasion of aliens. Nothing had happened for over fifty years. If there was no immediate invasion, the resources should be better directed to national security and terrorism.” Michael had thought that the legal battle they waged was quite well done. “They, especially, thought the special unit was a contradiction if, as the Air force all along said , was just a weather balloon.”

Liz was thinking. “All along, the use of the political and legal pressure of the adults, the parents of the group, were better than the feeble fighting, we had all been doing.”

Michael continued, “There was one other person. Jesse Ramirez has built up a lot of political power in Washington. He knew the right people to talk to. He and Isabel have to face their future or lack of future soon. Even Isabel doesn’t know of his part in bringing down the unit.”

Liz thought, “We all thought that Isabel had turned to Jesse just too quickly after Alex died. We all thought she should have grieved as long as we did. We didn’t want her to move on. None of us asked ourselves what was going on in her mind? Did she have a great need to fill the hole in her life left by Alex? Was the hole in her heart like the hole I see in my heart, now? That is, if I allowed myself to feel anything.” Liz was, again, shutting down.

“Jesse subpoenaed the records from the lab. He found the record of a female subject. Very carefully, there was no name given, only a number. There were records of the experiments done on this individual. Jesse gave us a summary of this record, but he had the actual record itself sealed. I am thinking that this was you,” Michael ended

Liz thought, “There is a record of all that was done to me. Do I ever want to read it? Jesse thought not, or he wouldn’t have sealed it.”

-----------------------------
As a dreamer i did have trouble writing this. I wanted to tell a story of strength. before i started posting i wrote another light hearted story.
Cowgirl Princess, this is just a story for fun. the only deep meaning is to watch two people find each other.

Xmag Yes we will look at Max and Isabel soon. Isabel first, because she needs to support Liz, in Max's eyes. They are still in the misunderstanding that it was while saving Isabel, that Liz was lost. Isabel needs to tell Liz what she, Liz means to the group. I always felt that the humans were what brought organization to the pod squad. I need one other person to help Liz. She has to be someone who knows adversity. She also has to be someone who really likes Liz. Someone who Liz befriended a few years before. We already learned that it was Philip Evans, Jim Valenti and Jesse who used political power to rid themselves of the special unit. I remember that Maria and Liz at different times said they needed adult advice.

Max has a very difficult project. He has the most to get over. He has the most to win.

Natalie36
L-J-L 76
Begonia9508
Shiesty23

Medical experiments
http://www.remember.org/educate/medexp.html

http://nazi_medical.tripod.com/experiments.html

Here is discussed a series of medical experiments. One of the propositions of the special unit was to learn how to create supermen. Hence the trying to get Liz pregnant. It must be remembered that they had already examined her and she had no alien DNA. The unit wanted to put the ability, to do the things she did that first week, in more humans, thus the supermen.

Reviewing the white room it so much reminded me of what I have studied about Nazi human experiments. Reading the two articles above gave me the insight or lack of insight of this kind of experiments.

The special unit said they were a scientific study but in reality they were just sadistic. There were papers written in the 1960s that discussed putting people in positions of authority, where it created indifference to others and also sadism.

The way that Pierce went about his command in the episodes was just too close to these Nazi experiments. Authority, ego, power coupled with lack of oversight are much more dangerous than a loaded gun. They all along treated her without humanity. You are correct to realize that was probably why her reproductive processes shut down.

Of course not on the same scale, but I have seen educators reducing their students humanity the same way and seen the intellectual processes shut down. I have also seen ever so slight of building up the subject and amazing results happen.

I am discussing Max in this next part and I am afraid that I used myself as an example. I was always behind a whole forest. Max once says that he could not imagine someone liking himself in that special way as when he exchanged thoughts with Liz that night when he told her more about himself. No one was more surprised when Carole said she would marry me than “ME.” Really I had no idea that anyone would want to spend their life with me. For some reason the year we were engaged I found it easier to talk to other girls that ever before. Maybe. I didn’t any longer have that hungry expression.

Here Max has a girl who loves him, wants to include him in her life and all of a sudden there are two girls who want him. I do not know what that would do to his alien side, but I sure his human side was really pumped. Pumped and just as quickly deflated when he thought the girl he really loved went back to her old boyfriend. I am sure he felt abandoned and Tess was just so willing to fill the void. Once she announced she was pregnant, Max was the responsible man but he was stuck with someone he didn’t really love.

I laid out air transportation from Roswell to International Falls Minnesota. There was no easy way to get there. It took over 19 hours with 5 changes of planes and several hours of layovers. This wasn’t just an easy weekend trip.

Their romantic evening was an unused episode tacked on to Graduation. The episode was, that since they had so little time to live, they wanted to make love after Max gave Liz the diamond.


Chapter 11 Day 8

Liz wandered most of the morning. She heard a boat and, as agreed, she hid until the boat had left. Liz walked down to the dock and helped Michael with the packages of laundry. The revelation that Jesse had the record of all that was done to her was still resting in her mind. Those things were the start of her downfall. She had been abandoned, but that was all right. She was responsible for the raid, anyway. She had managed to get every one killed or, at least, that is what she thought at the time. Max, the boy, now man that she loved, was dead. Liz didn’t ever want someone else to look at her as he had that first year of their relationship.

Maybe, the look was one of innocence. It was the look a boy had for a new experience. When she married Max while they were on the run, Liz imagined that everything was behind her. She imagined that the look Max had, so many years ago, was back. Even though they had experienced love before they had left Roswell, Liz thought that the feelings she had at her marriage had cleared everything that had happened between them. For her part, Liz made herself think that everything bad that had gone on before was now eradicated. After marriage there was only them, Max and Liz, Liz and Max, the perfect pair.

Ah, yes, the perfect pair. Liz had always imagined that when she actually gave herself to the boy/man of her choice, there would be more celestial bells. Graduation was coming up. Max was in depression and he gave her the diamond one night. They just came together because they didn’t know how much more time they had. No bells, no angels singing. Max and Liz had just made love and had sex like millions of other couples.

When Liz returned from Florida after she heard the announcement purported to be from Max and Isabel’s mother, she had assumed that Max would have moved on with his relationship with his former wife. Tess was concentrating on Max, but Liz couldn’t see how much Max was with her. Max clearly wanted to keep some sort of relationship with Liz. Liz was sure that the relationship he wanted would be strictly as friends. They had been together for so long and their breaking up was a breaking of convenience. Max didn’t belong to her.

Deep down Liz still wanted Max to sweep her off her feet and profess his undying love. Liz had another problem. Mother Maria, just had to keep giving advice. The advice Maria gave was for Liz. She constantly insisted that it was over with Max. Liz had to move on. Maria had no desire to listen to this advice for herself. At this time Maria had no intention of moving on from Michael.

Ego, no matter what he really felt, Max could feel his ego inflate knowing two girls wanted him. For most of his life, Max had been shy and retiring. Liz had brought him out. Liz had said that to see herself in Max’s eyes and see how much he thought of her was breath taking. Max had also seen himself in Liz’s eyes. Every time he was with her, how she saw him had gotten stronger. He had had a crush on her as long as he could remember. Now, though, his ego was stroked because he had two girls who wanted him. He had almost gotten Liz in the sack. His love for Liz was bolstered, by the teenage male, needing reinforcement of his sex appeal. Max tried to modify the way he was thinking. It wasn’t just sex, but he really loved Liz. He told himself this over and over. Still if he did get Liz to sleep with him, it was to mean that “he was the man.” That tiny bit of teenage manhood kept coming back to be fed.

Now Tess had made it clear that she would do almost anything to possess his body. Max felt how much Liz wanted him. Tess was much more direct. The normal shy character of Max was trampled by visions of two women. In his mind they were warring for his attention. They were also warring for his ego.

When Max saw Liz apparently sharing her body with her former boyfriend, Kyle, the image Max had of himself was fractured. The willingness of Tess to bare her beautiful body and greedily seek sex with him was, in his mind, a repair to his bruised ego. After the act, Max felt deflated. For so long he had wanted this act to be with Liz and only Liz, now he had to see he had moved past Liz. When Tess became pregnant then all the houses of cards that Max had built in his life crumbled. Max wasn’t a super stud with two women. He was simply a teenage father with a girl he didn’t really love and a shit load of responsibility.

Maria back in Roswell

Maria, older and wiser now, was seeing all of this, also. Whatever Liz told Michael, he relayed to Maria. How would Max react when they told him all about Liz? Maria was the other part of the cleansing of Liz. While Michael tended to helping Liz mend her life, it would be to Maria to guide Max. Thinking of all she had done and said in her youth, Maria hoped that maturity had given her the skills to do what she must.

There were two more components in this healing process. First, there was Isabel. Max had abandoned Liz in that instant when he rescued Isabel during the raid. Max still wasn’t clear what had gone on in his mind at that instant. Isabel had left Jesse when they decided to leave Roswell. She and Kyle had been pushed together, but neither had made that fatal next step. Isabel had to see how she fit in Liz’s mind and, also, decide what she wanted to do about Jesse. Both of these things depended on how the other parties would accept Isabel. Isabel had to look back to see how her actions had affected both Liz and Jesse at different times.

Next they had Kyle. Kyle had remained with them, at first out of loyalty and then, out of desperation. Kyle just didn’t have any other place to go. Once loosing Liz to Max, Kyle had never formed another strong relationship again. Maria wondered what Kyle was looking for as he remained with the aliens.

Maria and Michael, being the only couple left intact, were undertaking the restoration of relationships if possible. Maria now questioned, she had the knowledge and ability to carry out her part in this. Maria was, also, worried about Michael. Maria, in the back of her mind, had decided, if something happened between Michael and Liz while Liz was so vulnerable and Michael was so lonely for Maria, Maria was determined to get by this. Liz was her childhood friend and Michael was the man of her choice. It wouldn’t be an act of forgiveness, but an act of getting by and accepting a situation.

Michael and Liz on the island.

Liz had reached no further insight into her past by that evening. She figured that, for awhile, she needed to just go over what she knew and wait. She returned to Michael.

When Liz came back, Michael was setting out supper. For a reason that she would ponder for some time as she passed Michael, Liz leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. It was the first time she had shown any real affection to anyone in a long time.