Eight Letters (M/M, TEEN) Part 2 11/26/08 Complete
Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 5:39 pm
Title: Eight Letters
Fandom: Roswell
Rating: TEEN (Because that's the way I roll lol)
Disclaimer: I do not own Roswell, so please don't sue me.
Coupling: M/M, CC
Summary: For the ever awesomeElla1022, who won me at the Support Stacie Author's Auction, and asked for angsty, funny Candy.
Post Destiny. What will it take for two scared people to admit their real feelings?
AN: This was definitely inspired by a line from the Gossip Girlepisode,Summer Kind of Wonderful. Copyright infringement not intended. This is a two parter and the next part will be posted tomorrow.
I don't want to be tough
And I don't want to be proud
I don't need to be fixed
And I certainly don't need to be found
I'm not lost
I need to be loved
I just need to be loved
~ Maybe (Kelly Clarkson)
Don’t wait.
Those had been the words he had whispered to her before he took off to face his destiny. It hadn’t been to wait for his return and a possible future, rather it had been a goodbye.
Two words. Eight letters. So many definitions and possibilities, yet those two words caused more pain than anything had ever before. He had left her standing in the driveway of her home clutching tightly to the small dog he had given her and the teddy bear she had carried everywhere with her. For two days, she had refused to move from the porch hoping that there was some other meaning to that hurried goodbye.
Maria Deluca had learned at the age of eight that words had many definitions and that not all of them were to be coated sweetly in hope. She had grown up in those days and put away her dolls and teddy bears, rather she had learned to carry the meaning “don’t wait” to heart. She would never give someone the chance to really do any damage to her again. She would never be that little blonde girl with red ribbons in her hair and in her shoes. No. It was a lesson learned and one that she vowed to never repeat.
Funny how fate, or destiny if you will had a way of proving even the most stubborn of creatures that when it came to matters of the heart, there was no armor to protect it. It was on an ordinary day when Maria had fallen for the most unordinary boy, who knocked down the Teflon coating surrounding her heart. For a moment, everything seemed like it would be fine and that she wouldn’t receive those eight letters.
I love you.
Three words. Eight letters. He had whispered those words that she had waited a whole year for. Those words that had so many possibilities and endings, yet for her those words were as fickle as any other word in the dictionary.
However, unlike the last time, she had no way to pick up the pieces from the cutting edge of hope that danced in her mind and heart. He had declared his affection all the while saying goodbye, and for one who never shown emotions except under the most duress of circumstances it had given her hope that it wasn’t completely goodbye.
‘Maria Deluca, you’re such a fool.’ With a sigh, she shook her head and tried to focus back on the paper before her. Matters of the heart wouldn’t help her with her assignment, especially as the essay was due tomorrow. Picking up her pen, she muttered to herself about the insanity of asking students to write essays about what they did over the summer. In her honest opinion, no one really told the truth, but mostly invented some tall tale to impress their fellow students.
‘Too bad I can’t really write about what happened over the spring and summer. Government conspiracies. Shape shifters. Holograms. Destiny. Sounds like something Mulder and Scully would investigate.’ Pink lips curled up into her first smile of the day as she imagined the raised eyebrow from her English teacher.
“You know when you smile like that, I tend to worry that you’re plotting something that I really don’t want to be a part of as I’m pretty sure it would involve jail time. That or I somehow find myself stripping to save our lives.”
A familiar voice interrupted her thoughts as she looked up to meet the amused blue eyes staring back at her. Giving her best friend a smile, she got up from her seat and reached over to give him a hug.
“Alex, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I mean I barely seen you the last month of summer and now you show up with these accusations of me plotting something. I mean really what kind of friend are you?” She pulled away and punched him on the shoulder before sitting back down.
“Ouch! I’m not so sure I should be glad to see that you kept your strength up this summer. What did you do go to the gym with Max or something? I think I’m going have to go to the emergency room or something.” Clutching his arm as if in pain, he grinned at her while she rolled her eyes at him.
“Wimp.” Maria told him amused with his theatrics before motioning him to sit on the stool next to her. “Yeah that’s what you get for ditching me the last month of the summer. First Liz runs off, then you disappear, and I’m left with a heartbroken Czech.”
Alex dropped his head as he thought of the last month of summer and the events that led up to it. He had spent most of the summer trying to get Isabel to talk to him, much less acknowledge his presence. It had been like they had taken two steps back and ended up back where they were, before he had been let into the I know an alien club. Swallowing at the thought, he looked back up at Maria, who he found was staring intently down at the counter, and he knew that he hadn’t been the only one left in pieces and unsure about the future.
‘I used to love him.’
Those words came back to him as he stared at Maria all the while thinking of a younger version of her, who had uttered those words to him as she stared intently at the sky in hopes that no one would notice the tears that were falling down.
It was a memory that neither brought up again, but when that day rolled around every year he and Liz would planned something fun to keep Maria’s mind off what had happened. Both of them had been worried that the past would colored her future with its dirty brushes. When she had met Michael, all he could do was watch from the sidelines and be there if she needed him.
His girls were tough, but when it came to emotions and matters of the heart none of them truthfully were confident in it. They knew what they wanted, but being vulnerable and letting someone see all of their insecurities and who they really were just wasn’t the easiest choice to make. Alex had vowed that day to protect both of his girls and make sure that they would find the right guys who could love them no matter what.
‘I guess I can’t keep her safe from everything.’ He sighed and started to open his mouth but was interrupted by the sudden turning of Maria’s head. Green eyes met blue eyes as each convey silently what no words could really say.
“Do you regret it?” She asked before looking back down as she toyed with the charm that was wrapped around her pen.
“Regret what?” He asked slightly confused although he had a suspicion as to what she wanted to know.
“Do you regret falling in love?” Maria looked back up holding his eyes steadily.
“I, I guess I would say no although at times it feels like I’ve been chasing a dream more than anything.” Alex’s lips curled up in a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “But that’s love right? Its never perfect nor simple, but its worth it. Love is just…”
“Complicated.” They both finished together and exchanged grins of complete understanding.
Alex cleared his throat before pointing to the sheets of paper that strewed across the counter. “So enough with the mushy stuff. Are you done with your essay yet?”
“Ha! Done? Are you serious? Have we just met? Because I would think eight years of friendship would teach you a little something about me. Isn’t that just like a man to forget the important things?” She smirked at him and ignored his snort before pushing the stack of paper towards him. “Here, read it and let me know what you think.”
“Okay you’re really starting to scare me when you’re actually volunteering to let me read something. The Maria Deluca I know would have been glaring at the essay while threatening to set it on fire if it didn’t cooperate with her. The fact that you’re actually suggesting that I read this is just scary.” Alex grabbed the pen from her hand while pondering the stack of papers sitting on the counter. Using the pen, he gingerly touched it cautiously before picking the stack up and begin reading. “Catchy title,” He grinned before reading out loud.
‘How did I spend my summer?
By Maria Deluca
Well it wasn’t spent shopping at Macy’s that’s for sure. I mean I’m pretty sure that I either spent the majority of it at the Crashdown consoling my best friend’s boyfriend. Um, no wait maybe that’s ex-boyfriend. The hell, I mean the heck if I know. Can you write hell in an essay for school? Oh well. Either way I remember there were two of us nursing a broken heart over Cherry Cokes and pies. Dear God. It will be too soon if I ever see another Men in Blackberry pie again. Anyway there had to be more to my summer than work, cheering up my other best friend and the ex of my other best friend. Right?
Confused yet? Now you know what I go through on a daily basis. My other best friend was nursing a broken heart as well, which meant I found myself babysitting two broken hearted teenage boys. Do you know how scary it is to be able to know all the lyrics to all the Counting Crows’ songs? I mean all their songs! I won’t even go into the many variations of love and sucks that I heard in original songs from my best friend. I love the boy, but he’s so getting a thesaurus for Christmas if nothing else.
Now where was I? Oh right. Love stinks and eating too many pies will indeed have you find yourself at the gym. So what else happened? Did I mention thinking of reasons why I should take Michael Guerin’s sorry ass back when he comes back begging? He’s so coming back. I mean just because he spent the whole summer ignoring me and avoiding me (please like I didn’t see him wearing that ratty hat and shades at the grocery store…Prima Donna much?) doesn’t mean he’s not coming back. Oh no. I mean that’s his MO if you will, his I’m a bad boy and a loner.
Loner. Heartbreaker. Liar. No good son of a …..”
Alex‘s voice trailed off as he stared at his best friend, who was beaming at him. There were no words to describe what he had just read.
“So what do you think? That’s an A paper right? You know I have no idea why the teachers always wants us to write about what we did over the summer. Who cares what we did for the summer?”
Maria paused her rant about essays to find her best friend staring at her with his mouth open. “Alex? You’re not having a seizure on me are you? Because I told you that I’m not allowed to give CPR after the last incident, which we shouldn’t even really be talking about. Besides you didn’t even get to the part where I wrote what each of his initials stand for.”
Not getting any response just a blank look and the opening and closing of Alex’s mouth, she reached over and closed his mouth gently. “I’m not kidding about that CPR thing you know.” Still not getting any kind of response, Maria waved her hands in front of his face. Crossing her arms, she thought about shaking him but figured that might make it worst. “Great. I so foresee a lecture from Liz in the future.”
“What did you do to the nerd? Did you break him?” An amused voice broke into Maria’s mutterings, causing the blonde to swirl around on her stool and face the counter again. In front of her was another blonde, although privately Maria thought that the blonde was from a bottle, wearing a Crashdown uniform and smirking at her. “You know I’m starting to think you just scare all the men away from you.”
“What’s the matter Courtney? Still angry that you can’t even keep a man‘s attention longer than five seconds?” Maria glared at the older girl, who had somehow taken on the role of nemesis over the long summer.
“Five seconds? It sure didn’t take five seconds to get the attention of one Michael Guerin that’s for sure, but you wouldn’t know that as he’s been ignoring you all summer. Your lost is my gain.” Courtney leaned against the counter and started reciting her own ideas as to what each initial of Michael stood for. “M stands for manly because anyone who looks like that with their shirt off definitely deserves the title of manly.”
“You’ve really taken the word delusional to a whole new level if you expect me to believe that Michael has paid any attention to you,” Maria scoffed in disbelief.
“Oh, Mikey G and I spent a lot of this summer together although words really weren’t exchanged despite the many late night phone calls.” Courtney pulled out a small piece of paper from her apron and waved it in the air with a coy smile before sitting it on the counter in front of Maria.
Scribbled as in haste was the numbers that Maria herself knew by heart. There was so much that she wanted to say, but for once in her life words failed to come. Swallowing, she pushed the paper away from her and looked away. She couldn’t deny the handwriting or the number that only a few people had. Not sure what to say or do, well besides tear the worn paper into tiny pieces, she looked up to find her best friend staring at her in concern.
Her lips struggled to find the smile that had only been in residence moments ago, she started to say something in hopes to show that it didn’t bothered her, but her hopes were shattered by the jingling of the Crashdown’s door signaling a new arrival. There in the door stood the very boy under discussion, who was looking everywhere but at her.
I love you.
Three words. Eight letters. Nothing but disappointments from something so small was all she could think.
Fandom: Roswell
Rating: TEEN (Because that's the way I roll lol)
Disclaimer: I do not own Roswell, so please don't sue me.
Coupling: M/M, CC
Summary: For the ever awesomeElla1022, who won me at the Support Stacie Author's Auction, and asked for angsty, funny Candy.
Post Destiny. What will it take for two scared people to admit their real feelings?
AN: This was definitely inspired by a line from the Gossip Girlepisode,Summer Kind of Wonderful. Copyright infringement not intended. This is a two parter and the next part will be posted tomorrow.
I don't want to be tough
And I don't want to be proud
I don't need to be fixed
And I certainly don't need to be found
I'm not lost
I need to be loved
I just need to be loved
~ Maybe (Kelly Clarkson)
Don’t wait.
Those had been the words he had whispered to her before he took off to face his destiny. It hadn’t been to wait for his return and a possible future, rather it had been a goodbye.
Two words. Eight letters. So many definitions and possibilities, yet those two words caused more pain than anything had ever before. He had left her standing in the driveway of her home clutching tightly to the small dog he had given her and the teddy bear she had carried everywhere with her. For two days, she had refused to move from the porch hoping that there was some other meaning to that hurried goodbye.
Maria Deluca had learned at the age of eight that words had many definitions and that not all of them were to be coated sweetly in hope. She had grown up in those days and put away her dolls and teddy bears, rather she had learned to carry the meaning “don’t wait” to heart. She would never give someone the chance to really do any damage to her again. She would never be that little blonde girl with red ribbons in her hair and in her shoes. No. It was a lesson learned and one that she vowed to never repeat.
Funny how fate, or destiny if you will had a way of proving even the most stubborn of creatures that when it came to matters of the heart, there was no armor to protect it. It was on an ordinary day when Maria had fallen for the most unordinary boy, who knocked down the Teflon coating surrounding her heart. For a moment, everything seemed like it would be fine and that she wouldn’t receive those eight letters.
I love you.
Three words. Eight letters. He had whispered those words that she had waited a whole year for. Those words that had so many possibilities and endings, yet for her those words were as fickle as any other word in the dictionary.
However, unlike the last time, she had no way to pick up the pieces from the cutting edge of hope that danced in her mind and heart. He had declared his affection all the while saying goodbye, and for one who never shown emotions except under the most duress of circumstances it had given her hope that it wasn’t completely goodbye.
‘Maria Deluca, you’re such a fool.’ With a sigh, she shook her head and tried to focus back on the paper before her. Matters of the heart wouldn’t help her with her assignment, especially as the essay was due tomorrow. Picking up her pen, she muttered to herself about the insanity of asking students to write essays about what they did over the summer. In her honest opinion, no one really told the truth, but mostly invented some tall tale to impress their fellow students.
‘Too bad I can’t really write about what happened over the spring and summer. Government conspiracies. Shape shifters. Holograms. Destiny. Sounds like something Mulder and Scully would investigate.’ Pink lips curled up into her first smile of the day as she imagined the raised eyebrow from her English teacher.
“You know when you smile like that, I tend to worry that you’re plotting something that I really don’t want to be a part of as I’m pretty sure it would involve jail time. That or I somehow find myself stripping to save our lives.”
A familiar voice interrupted her thoughts as she looked up to meet the amused blue eyes staring back at her. Giving her best friend a smile, she got up from her seat and reached over to give him a hug.
“Alex, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I mean I barely seen you the last month of summer and now you show up with these accusations of me plotting something. I mean really what kind of friend are you?” She pulled away and punched him on the shoulder before sitting back down.
“Ouch! I’m not so sure I should be glad to see that you kept your strength up this summer. What did you do go to the gym with Max or something? I think I’m going have to go to the emergency room or something.” Clutching his arm as if in pain, he grinned at her while she rolled her eyes at him.
“Wimp.” Maria told him amused with his theatrics before motioning him to sit on the stool next to her. “Yeah that’s what you get for ditching me the last month of the summer. First Liz runs off, then you disappear, and I’m left with a heartbroken Czech.”
Alex dropped his head as he thought of the last month of summer and the events that led up to it. He had spent most of the summer trying to get Isabel to talk to him, much less acknowledge his presence. It had been like they had taken two steps back and ended up back where they were, before he had been let into the I know an alien club. Swallowing at the thought, he looked back up at Maria, who he found was staring intently down at the counter, and he knew that he hadn’t been the only one left in pieces and unsure about the future.
‘I used to love him.’
Those words came back to him as he stared at Maria all the while thinking of a younger version of her, who had uttered those words to him as she stared intently at the sky in hopes that no one would notice the tears that were falling down.
It was a memory that neither brought up again, but when that day rolled around every year he and Liz would planned something fun to keep Maria’s mind off what had happened. Both of them had been worried that the past would colored her future with its dirty brushes. When she had met Michael, all he could do was watch from the sidelines and be there if she needed him.
His girls were tough, but when it came to emotions and matters of the heart none of them truthfully were confident in it. They knew what they wanted, but being vulnerable and letting someone see all of their insecurities and who they really were just wasn’t the easiest choice to make. Alex had vowed that day to protect both of his girls and make sure that they would find the right guys who could love them no matter what.
‘I guess I can’t keep her safe from everything.’ He sighed and started to open his mouth but was interrupted by the sudden turning of Maria’s head. Green eyes met blue eyes as each convey silently what no words could really say.
“Do you regret it?” She asked before looking back down as she toyed with the charm that was wrapped around her pen.
“Regret what?” He asked slightly confused although he had a suspicion as to what she wanted to know.
“Do you regret falling in love?” Maria looked back up holding his eyes steadily.
“I, I guess I would say no although at times it feels like I’ve been chasing a dream more than anything.” Alex’s lips curled up in a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “But that’s love right? Its never perfect nor simple, but its worth it. Love is just…”
“Complicated.” They both finished together and exchanged grins of complete understanding.
Alex cleared his throat before pointing to the sheets of paper that strewed across the counter. “So enough with the mushy stuff. Are you done with your essay yet?”
“Ha! Done? Are you serious? Have we just met? Because I would think eight years of friendship would teach you a little something about me. Isn’t that just like a man to forget the important things?” She smirked at him and ignored his snort before pushing the stack of paper towards him. “Here, read it and let me know what you think.”
“Okay you’re really starting to scare me when you’re actually volunteering to let me read something. The Maria Deluca I know would have been glaring at the essay while threatening to set it on fire if it didn’t cooperate with her. The fact that you’re actually suggesting that I read this is just scary.” Alex grabbed the pen from her hand while pondering the stack of papers sitting on the counter. Using the pen, he gingerly touched it cautiously before picking the stack up and begin reading. “Catchy title,” He grinned before reading out loud.
‘How did I spend my summer?
By Maria Deluca
Well it wasn’t spent shopping at Macy’s that’s for sure. I mean I’m pretty sure that I either spent the majority of it at the Crashdown consoling my best friend’s boyfriend. Um, no wait maybe that’s ex-boyfriend. The hell, I mean the heck if I know. Can you write hell in an essay for school? Oh well. Either way I remember there were two of us nursing a broken heart over Cherry Cokes and pies. Dear God. It will be too soon if I ever see another Men in Blackberry pie again. Anyway there had to be more to my summer than work, cheering up my other best friend and the ex of my other best friend. Right?
Confused yet? Now you know what I go through on a daily basis. My other best friend was nursing a broken heart as well, which meant I found myself babysitting two broken hearted teenage boys. Do you know how scary it is to be able to know all the lyrics to all the Counting Crows’ songs? I mean all their songs! I won’t even go into the many variations of love and sucks that I heard in original songs from my best friend. I love the boy, but he’s so getting a thesaurus for Christmas if nothing else.
Now where was I? Oh right. Love stinks and eating too many pies will indeed have you find yourself at the gym. So what else happened? Did I mention thinking of reasons why I should take Michael Guerin’s sorry ass back when he comes back begging? He’s so coming back. I mean just because he spent the whole summer ignoring me and avoiding me (please like I didn’t see him wearing that ratty hat and shades at the grocery store…Prima Donna much?) doesn’t mean he’s not coming back. Oh no. I mean that’s his MO if you will, his I’m a bad boy and a loner.
Loner. Heartbreaker. Liar. No good son of a …..”
Alex‘s voice trailed off as he stared at his best friend, who was beaming at him. There were no words to describe what he had just read.
“So what do you think? That’s an A paper right? You know I have no idea why the teachers always wants us to write about what we did over the summer. Who cares what we did for the summer?”
Maria paused her rant about essays to find her best friend staring at her with his mouth open. “Alex? You’re not having a seizure on me are you? Because I told you that I’m not allowed to give CPR after the last incident, which we shouldn’t even really be talking about. Besides you didn’t even get to the part where I wrote what each of his initials stand for.”
Not getting any response just a blank look and the opening and closing of Alex’s mouth, she reached over and closed his mouth gently. “I’m not kidding about that CPR thing you know.” Still not getting any kind of response, Maria waved her hands in front of his face. Crossing her arms, she thought about shaking him but figured that might make it worst. “Great. I so foresee a lecture from Liz in the future.”
“What did you do to the nerd? Did you break him?” An amused voice broke into Maria’s mutterings, causing the blonde to swirl around on her stool and face the counter again. In front of her was another blonde, although privately Maria thought that the blonde was from a bottle, wearing a Crashdown uniform and smirking at her. “You know I’m starting to think you just scare all the men away from you.”
“What’s the matter Courtney? Still angry that you can’t even keep a man‘s attention longer than five seconds?” Maria glared at the older girl, who had somehow taken on the role of nemesis over the long summer.
“Five seconds? It sure didn’t take five seconds to get the attention of one Michael Guerin that’s for sure, but you wouldn’t know that as he’s been ignoring you all summer. Your lost is my gain.” Courtney leaned against the counter and started reciting her own ideas as to what each initial of Michael stood for. “M stands for manly because anyone who looks like that with their shirt off definitely deserves the title of manly.”
“You’ve really taken the word delusional to a whole new level if you expect me to believe that Michael has paid any attention to you,” Maria scoffed in disbelief.
“Oh, Mikey G and I spent a lot of this summer together although words really weren’t exchanged despite the many late night phone calls.” Courtney pulled out a small piece of paper from her apron and waved it in the air with a coy smile before sitting it on the counter in front of Maria.
Scribbled as in haste was the numbers that Maria herself knew by heart. There was so much that she wanted to say, but for once in her life words failed to come. Swallowing, she pushed the paper away from her and looked away. She couldn’t deny the handwriting or the number that only a few people had. Not sure what to say or do, well besides tear the worn paper into tiny pieces, she looked up to find her best friend staring at her in concern.
Her lips struggled to find the smile that had only been in residence moments ago, she started to say something in hopes to show that it didn’t bothered her, but her hopes were shattered by the jingling of the Crashdown’s door signaling a new arrival. There in the door stood the very boy under discussion, who was looking everywhere but at her.
I love you.
Three words. Eight letters. Nothing but disappointments from something so small was all she could think.