Roswell Fanatics

this beautiful banner was made by Monica (Hunter) I just love you sweetie! thank you!!!



Best Villian, Best Unconventional Couple Fanfiction. Best Dupe Fanfiction, Come Back! You Can't Leave it There! Best Cliffhangers

Title: Taken
Author: jake17
Pairing: L/Z
Disclaimer: I don't own anything roswell
Rating: Adult
Summary: Liz is married to a very conservative Max Evan's who wants his wife to become someone she can't possibly be, what happens when his cousin Zan comes to town and falls for the woman she already is...




Chapter 1.






It’s seven thirty in the morning and already I’m apologizing.

As I dump his burnt toast and bitter coffee down the garbage disposal I hear him faintly calling for me outside.

Damn I forgot his briefcase.

Blowing my hair out of my face I rush to bring Max his briefcase as he calls for me incessantly from his extravagant brand new Mercedes, something I would be extremely uncomfortable driving.

“Liz, I’ve got to go, I have a meeting at eight!”

“Sorry, I ran as fast as I could.”

He looks up at me frustrated as he throws it on the seat next to him.

“Don’t forget to pick up the dry cleaning and call the plumber for the down stairs bathroom.”

I nod as I lean in to try and get a kiss from my husband of five years.

“Come on Liz I told you I was late!”

“Sorry Max, have a -

I manage to get out half of my sentence before the window rolls up and he is backing out of the driveway.

Sometimes I wonder why I bother talking at all.

Looking down at my clothes I can’t say that I blame him, sweatpants and his college tee shirt isn’t exactly sexy I guess. Not that it would matter, I can’t remember the last time he actually looked at me.

As I put my hand on the doorknob I hear my neighbor next door and sigh. I don’t even want to look. Shelby Carter has made my life a living hell ever since she and her perfect husband Clark Carter moved in two years ago.

Shelby is of course the head of the PTA at her daughter's school, which she does in her spare time between working as a successful lawyer and exercising religiously. Have I mentioned that her house always looks like a museum and a magnificent dinner is served promptly at six thirty every night?

And just in case I forget any of Shelby’s amazing qualities Max is right there to remind me of them.



~~~~~~~~~



Nighttime has fallen over our little house and no one is happy.

A spark of hope runs through me as I wonder if my husband is actually going to touch me tonight.

Getting under the covers I snuggle up to him only to get literally pushed away.

“Liz come on I’m exhausted.”

I move away and pull the covers up to my chin. I thought men always wanted sex. It’s been two months since Max and I had made love, although I wouldn’t call the absence of foreplay and two minutes of grunting making love.

“You forgot the dry cleaning Liz.”

I turn over and stare at the crack of light coming from the bathroom. I’m not sure if I have ever felt so alone.

“Max can we talk?”

I look over to see him completely on the other side of the bed facing the wall. I can almost feel his frustration at my request.

“About what.”

“About us.”

“Liz is almost midnight, I have a freaking headache from working all damn day and now thanks to you I have to get to the dry cleaners before work tomorrow. What exactly do you want to talk about?”

“Nothing, forget it.”

As I lay in bed I realize I’m just wasting my breath, it’s not like we haven’t had this conversation a million times. I have seen the women that he works with, women like Shelby Carter. I know that deep inside he wishes I was just like them. Women who manage to bring home a big paycheck and still deliver an elegant dinner party at the end of the day. Women that were the complete opposite of me.

Familiar tears fill my eyes as I drift off to sleep speculating on how long it’s been since I’ve actually been kissed… funny I can’t even remember.

~~~~~~~


It’s Friday morning; I have a list of errands in my hand and a job interview in an hour and my car is dead.

“No not today!”

Finally the car starts but the sound it’s making is extremely disturbing.

Grabbing my cell I call my husband who yells at me for wasting his valuable time.

“God Liz can’t you handle anything on your own? Take the car to the garage, Uncle Lou will take care of it.”

“Sorry Max I didn’t mean to bother you I just … well I wasn’t sure-

“Are we done here Liz I’ve got someone on the other line.”

“Yeah we’re done sor-

I stare at the phone hearing the stark sound of the dial tone and stare at the check engine light that is blinking at me like flashing failure sign.

As I pull up to the garage I audibly groan. I hate coming here. Larry is a filthy man in his sixties who’s always scratching himself and humming. It's hard to believe he's related to someone as clean cut and reserved as Max.

Timidly I walk threw the door and I’m immediately attacked by biggest dog I have ever seen in my life.

I scream as the large black dog that I’m expecting to rip my head off drops a wet ball by my feet and leans up against my chest.

I jump again as I hear a deep husky voice cross the room.

“Don’t worry, he doesn’t bite.”

Looking around the corner I see a muscular tattooed arm resting on the front of an old rusted car. The hood of the car is blocking the rest of him, which forces me to walk closer.

“Sam!”

Instantly the dog jumps down and runs towards him with his tail wagging a million miles a minute.

I stare with great curiosity as he slams the hood down revealing to himself to me for the first time. Stumbling backwards a little I loose my footing as I gaze up at this man that is shockingly beautiful and extremely familiar.

I’m rendered speechless as I stare at what could be the twin of my husband in total disbelief.

“Well that explains it.”

Swallowing hard I search for my voice as my eyes travel over every inch of him.

“W-What?”

“Sam has very good taste.”

I stutter as my face turns bright red from his unexpected complement.

“W-Who are you?”

He cocks his head to the side, as he looks me up and down making me blush even brighter. Pulling out a red rag from his pocket he wipes the grease off his hands and approaches me.

His voice is low and sensual and very deliberate. I can tell he knows exactly the effect he’s having on me as his mouth curves up to one side.

“I forgot we’ve never actually met. I’m Zan your cousin, well actually your husbands cousin.”

“Oh I-I’m sorry, I’m-

“Liz. Yeah I’ve seen pictures of you before.”

I’m completely stuck at how similar but completely different they are. The seconds seem like forever as we stare just a little too long at each other.

“Larry’s away,” His eyes lock with mine and all I can hear is my heart pounding in my ears. “Is there something I can help you with?”

I proceed to tell him about my car and the noise but all I can think about is how incredible he smells and how hot it suddenly has gotten.

He takes a step towards me and I back away worried that he can see right through me.

I can hear my unsteady breath as he walks close to me. Brushing his body against me he reaches his hand around my waist and stares at my lips that are trembling slightly from the intensity of his gaze.

He's nothing like my husband at all.

Looking up into his beautiful amber eyes I anxiously put my hand against his chest not understanding his motives.

He gives me a wide grin as the front of the garage rises up into the air.

“You were leaning against the button.”

“Right, sorry I –

“I didn’t say I didn’t like your hands on me.”

I bite my lip as his hand covers mine and holds it against his chest.

“There’s no need to apologize.”

“Right, sorry.”

Shaking my head I just realized that I apologized again. Why am I acting like I’m sixteen?

“Why don’t you give your keys so I can take a look.”

Awkwardly I pull my keys from my pocket and stare back at the ground.

After a few failed attempts at starting my car he walks back to me.

“You’re going to have to leave it here.”

“Oh.”

Spotting Shelby at a convenience store across the street I think quickly to myself that I could get a ride home with her.

This thought stays with me until she drives away.

I watch him closely as he grabs a coat off a hook by the door and motions for me to follow.

I walk around the back of the garage to find him holding the door of an old Ford truck open for me.

“It’s going to take a while, I think I should drive you home.”

Nodding slowly I begin to shake again as I walk towards his truck. He watches me closely as he leans against the door. As I try and step up to get into his truck my foot slips, instantly I am in his arms. Slipping onto the seat I feel a shiver run through me as he moves close to my ear and whispers softly.

“Careful Liz.”

I repeat the words to myself as we silently drive down the road.

Careful Liz.

IM beyond grateful for all this amazing fb.. will be back to thank all of you.. I have to post this quick...please forgive all my mistakes...


Chapter 2



As we pull into our driveway I hear Zan chuckle to himself.

“Wow I see Max has done well for himself”

I look up at the modest colonial and only see a prison.

“I guess so.”

“I always knew he would.”

I watch as he gets out of the car and panic. I’ve been so caught up in him that I forgot to get my car keys out. I search frantically threw my purse not noticing that Zan is holding the door open for me looking very confused.

“Liz what’s wrong?”

“I-I’m sorry! I know I had them somewhere in my purse.”

My hand stills as he reaches out and cups my cheek.

“I have them. When I started your car I held onto them. Is everything alright?”

“Max hates it when he has to wait for me to find my keys.”

A worrisome frown is quickly replaced by a warm smile as he takes my hand and helps me out of the truck.

“I’m not Max.”

The heat from his rough hand is matched by flushed skin as I instinctively leaned into his soft touch.

Realizing what I’m doing I quickly pull away embarrassed by my actions.

“Well why don’t you come inside and see the house. I could make coffee, I’m sure Max would love to see you.”

“Coffee sounds good, but I’m not so sure how Max would feel about seeing me again.”

“What does that mean?”

As we walk into the house I can see his uneasiness as he looks around.

Fumbling with the coffee filter I try to calm my nerves by it’s useless. The attraction that I feel for this man I’ve only just met is beyond anything I have ever known.

He holds up our wedding picture and turns it towards me.

“Sorry I couldn’t make it.”

I laugh to myself trying to picture him in a suit. What’s worse is I can’t help but picture him in nothing at all.

“You didn’t miss much. It was kind of a catastrophe.”

He looks at the picture again studying it almost and smiles.

“I bet Max wanted everything to be perfect.”

“So you know him.”

We share a smile and stare just a little too long again into each other’s eyes, and suddenly I find myself shaking again.

“Yes we’ve had our moments.”

“I just don’t understand why Max has never mentioned you before, now that I think of it I’ve never heard any of your family talk about you.”

We sit at the kitchen table and I’m wishing so much that I could take back what I just said. He looks upset …almost sad as he takes a big gulp of his black coffee down.

“That was personal, I’m sorry you don’t have to tell me anything.”

I feel ridiculous for prying and start to nervously bang my spoon on the table. Max is always telling me that I talk too much, why can’t I remember that.

And then I feel it again. His hand is over mine stopping my frantic movements.

I can’t explain why and it’s beyond inappropriate but I curl my fingers around his hand.

It’s embarrassing how much I'm soaking up the affection he is throwing my way. It feels like heaven went he touches me and I can’t help but crave more. In the back of my head I know how wrong this is but I just can’t help myself.

“I’m kind of the black sheep of the family I guess you could say. I was in trouble as a kid all the time. My dad Lou liked to drink which made my home life pretty hellish. Anyway one night we ended up having it out. I ended up staying out all night. I was fourteen, I stole a car and wrecked it on the East street bridge. There happen to be a homeless man walking that night. I couldn’t see it was dark and I had taken a few of my dads beer."

He stares into his coffee and repeats himself slowly. I can almost feel his pain as he relives this horrible night.

"I didn’t see him. It was dark and I was…buzzed. Anyway he didn’t make it.”

I clutch his hand tighter as sympathy pours from my heart.

“Zan oh my god. What happened to you?”

“Well I was too young to be charged as an adult. I was shipped off to Virginia to a Juvenal detention center. I was there for four years. After that my mother thought it was best if I moved to Florida to stay with my grandmother.”

“And you’ve never been back since?”

“No, I still wouldn’t be back now but my dad is sick, no one knows about it. My mother needs me, it’s the only reason I’m here.”

“Zan I-I don’t know what to say, that’s such a sad story. I feel terrible for you. It must be so hard for you to be back here.”

“Well at first it was." His staring at me again, drifting from my lips to my eyes and time seems to just stop as I imagine him reaching in to kiss me. "But at the moment I really wouldn't want to be anywhere else.”

My heart is racing, beating out of my chest as he begins to stroke his thumb over my hand.

Trying to find my voice again I whisper unable to fully speak under his touch.

“Y-You said that you and Max don’t get along, what happened between you two?”

He whispers back which sends a ball of fire to the pit of my stomach. I cross my legs at an attempt to hold back the ache that is growing between my legs as he continues to touch me.

“When this happened Max saw it as a black mark to the family. Like I had disgraced them all somehow, we just never got along.”

“I’m sorry Zan, Max can be very judgmental sometimes. What happened wasn’t your fault you were just a child.”

“It doesn't matter that man is still dead... and it's because of me.”

Snapping himself out of this memory he'd obviously like to forget he looks down at my ring finger and admires my diamond.

“It didn't surprise me at all that he ended up marrying you.”

“But we’ve never met.”

“Yes we have, you just don’t remember, you were just a kid yourself and just as beautiful. My mother filled my in on the family gossip, I was aware that you two got married.”

"You were invited weren't you?"

"Yeah I was but my father thought it would be a good idea if I didn't come...too many bad memories on such a happy occasion. You were a beautiful bride Liz...still are...very beautiful."

I’m completely breathless as he leans down and places a soft kiss on my hand.

“Max is a lucky man.”

“What about Max?”

The two of us break apart and stare up into the angry eyes of my husband as he stands there clutching his briefcase in his hands.

“Well hi there cous, haven’t seen you in years.”

“Zan.”

Thank you so much for all of your amazing fb! I wish I had time to thank you all...
I really appreciate your support.
love
carrie





Chapter 3.






“Well I think I better be getting back to the shop.”

“What the hell are you doing back here?”

“Max-

He looks at me with rage in his eyes. What’s wrong with me, I know better than to interrupt him. I’ll pay for that later.

“Was I talking to you?”

I immediately look down at the ground and shake my head like the obedient pathetic girl that I’ve become. Whatever Zan thought of me before this moment I’m sure is destroyed by my feeble display of submission. Who the hell would want someone like me? Max is right, he is always right.

“My dad asked me to look after the shop for awhile. I asked for some coffee, your wife was just being kind.”

I can see a million thoughts run through my husbands head as he stares angrily at Zan…none of these thoughts are good.

“When will the car be ready?”

“Monday, late in the day I have to drive to Plainville to get a part. If she needs a car-

“She’ll be fine.”

He looks directly at me as if he wants to say something but changes his mind. It’s exceedingly growing more and more uncomfortable in the room. I would leave too …if I could.

“Okay then.”

I sit back down and rest my head in my hands waiting for the yelling to begin.

Max slams his briefcase down on the table causing me to jump. Zan who is walking towards the door, stops but doesn’t turn around. His hand curls to a tight fist but remains by his side. I stay perfectly calm. I’ve been through this a million times, of course I’m dreading what is to come but I am helplessly drawn to this man that has walked into my life out of nowhere.

After a short hesitation he is gone and my heart aches a little.

“What the hell is wrong with you!”

I snap my eyes up at him realizing that I’ve been lost in the memory of my short afternoon.

“I – I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong, he’s family –

I stare back at the ground and remain very still and quiet as Max presumes to tell me just how wrong it is to invite someone that I’ve never heard of into his home.

His lecture continues on flowing into the subject of everything that is wrong with me. He goes down the list of my failures and imperfections. He’s recited them to me so many times I could say them right along with him …but I’m sure he wouldn’t like that.

My eyes well up as he gets too close to my face and screams at me to look at him, moving my eyes in his direction causes one tear to fall down my cheek. I don’t brush it away, what’s the point more will follow.

I’m trying very hard to hold it together when I see the door slowly open. Max is too wrapped up in his wrath to notice. I can see him out of the corner of my eye reach for his coat.

“I’m leaving tomorrow morning for a business trip in Atlanta. When I come back Monday morning we are going to talk. I swear to god Liz I don’t know what the fuck happened to you… you are such a fucking mess! Where did my wife go!”

I close my eyes as Zan disappears again. He heard it all. I couldn’t be more humiliated as Max walks away and slams the bedroom door.



~~~~~~~~~~~~




The silence treatment that began the night before continues as I pull up to the airport.

“Have a good trip. Be care-

The door slamming cuts off my sentence as I watch him hold the door open for some tall elegant blonde. His smile is simply captivating as he says something charming to her that leaves her to smile back with a flirty flip of her long hair.

If she only knew.

Walking through my empty house I contemplate going straight back to bed but settle for a hot shower hoping it will spark something productive in me.

I spend more time than usual getting ready and I have no idea why. I stare into the mirror wondering why I’ve even put any effort into myself, it just another night alone for me.

I slip my blue sweater on and grab for my jeans when I hear someone at the door. I walk towards the door and glimpse out the bay window to see his old truck parked in the driveway.

My heart immediately starts to race wondering why he’s here. I think of Max and his warning, as I stay frozen with my hand on the doorknob.

I stay very still hoping that fate will take this decision out of my hands and he’ll think I’m not home and leave.

It turns out fate has something else in store for me.

“Liz I know you’re in there …please open the door.”

Shit.

It has to be about the car. Maybe it’s ready early.

I open the door slowly and hold it open giving him a silent invitation to come in.

“Is the car ready?”

“Hello Liz.”

He smiles at my nervousness and my embarrassment for not even saying hello.

“Hi, I’m sorry that was rude wasn’t it? I just-

I seem to run out of air as he walks close to me and places his hand on my shoulder.

“Please stop apologizing.”

The closer he get the more I back up until I’m against the wall and there is but an inch between us.

“Zan you really shouldn’t be here.”

I stare at the ground afraid that he’ll see just how much I want him to stay.

His voice is calm and soothing as he whispers to me running his hand slowly up and down my arm.

“I know he’s not here, why are you so nervous.”

I move away from the wall and walk quickly towards the kitchen lost as to what to say to him. I know he can see right through me, I know he’s aware of how he’s affecting me.

“Nervous? I-I’m not nervous. Can I get you some coffee or maybe a beer, I think I need a beer.”

He remains quiet but follows me as I reach into the refrigerator and grab two beers. I can feel him directly behind me and it’s killing me.

I smile awkwardly as I get the bottle opener out of the drawer. Tilting the bottle upwards I show him the label.

"This alright?”

“Is this how it’s always been?”

I stay with my back towards him and look out the kitchen widow at the snow falling on the white birch trees. I have no idea how to respond to him.

“How what’s always been?”

He rests his hands on my shoulders and leans down so his mouth is right next to my ear.

“Liz, it’s not right.”

I tremble as his hands rise up to my neck and brush my hair to one side.

“Y-you don’t know…me…Zan. He sounds mean but if you knew me…

“I know him Liz.”

I turn around and back away into the cabinet completely taken off guard by the way he’s looking at me. His eyes are so intense, so seductive but so kind at the same time. I take a deep breath resisting the overwhelming feeling I have to put my arms around his neck and pull him towards me.

“What does that mean?”

He tilts his head to the side and brushes his thumb across my bottom lip leaving completely breathless.

“It means you deserve better.”

My eyes fill with tears and I have to look away from him. I’ve gone virtually unnoticed by everyone in my life. Why is he doing this? What could he possibly want from me?

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’ll come to Plainville with me.”

“What?”

I look at him like he’s crazy and take a sip from my beer.

“I have to go to get that part for your car and you need to get the hell out of here.”

“Zan I can’t... Max-

“Is away. You can take your cell phone so he can reach you. It’s one night, I’ll have you back tomorrow.”

He steps away from me and lights a cigarette before tasting Max’s imported beer and making a face.

“Come on I need the company. I’ll get two rooms, it will be totally innocent.”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

Just then the phone rings. We both stare at the machine as Max’s voice echoes through the house.

‘Liz where the hell are you? Liz… pick up the phone! Fine I just wanted to let you know you forgot to pack the paperwork I needed for the conference and I am totally unprepared now. I hope your satisfied, you fucked up again Liz! I’ll call you tonight make sure your phone is charged!’

As the answering machine beeps Zan leans against the counter and stares into my eyes.

Come with me.

Zan mouthes the words as I slowly approach him.

He straightens up seeing the change in my eyes. What the hell am I doing?

“Give me five minutes.”

Alien_Friend
crazedearthgirl
destiny
garcia88
darkmoon
Jan
Monica
angelina
roswell3053



thank you so much for you very sweet fb!






Chapter 4.





As we drive further and further down the highway I can feel myself begin to relax.

I sink down into the worn seat of Zan’s trunk and slip my uncomfortable boots off.

This is something I would never do in the presence of Max but somehow I know Zan could care less. I feel free when I’m with him, far away from my husband’s judgmental glare.

I look over at him and catch him staring at me. A soft smile and a nod covers his arrestingly handsome face. I continue looking at him, observing how different he really is from Max.

Max is always tense, on edge, teeth gnashing as if he’s ready for a confrontation at any moment. It was almost as if he enjoyed fighting. In a way I think it’s the conquering of one’s spirit he loves the most.

My spirit to be exact.

Zan is so different, so relaxed and laid back. You could tell he wouldn’t need to be aggressive to make himself feel like a man. And he doesn’t, Zan is all man. You can feel his quiet understated strength, he doesn’t need to flaunt it, it just is.

You can tell he has nothing to prove. All of this is so attractive to me, so foreign. He's so intriguing, I can’t help but to want to know everything about him.

“What are you thinking?”

My mind scurries quickly to find the right answer. I am so used to falling for Max’s deceptive lures. His outward seemly interest in me would turn into a screaming match on everything that is wrong with me.

I open my mouth to speak but quickly close it afraid of saying the wrong thing.

“Liz it’s just a question.”

His warm smile causes me to smile back and shyly answer.

“I was just realizing how very different you two are.”

He returns his gaze to the road narrowing his eyes at the very mention of his cousin.

“Yes we are, very different. Since we were kids.”

His eyes fall to the floor at my discarded boots.

“Don’t they hurt your feet?”

I look down and ponder his question looking at the pointed toes and high heels.

“Yes they do but-

“Max likes you to dress this way.”

“Yes, style is very important to him. Keeping up your appearance is crucial Zan don’t you know that?”

He scoffs and lights a cigarette. He looks down at himself and raises his eyebrows at me curling his full lips into a sweet smile.

“I guess I wouldn’t pass his inspection?”

I smile taking in his flannel coat black worn jeans and heavy work boots.

“I don’t know about Max but I think you look just fine.”

I immediately blush and look away wondering what the hell I’m doing. I’m a married woman shameless flirting with my husband’s cousin on a secret trip.

I decide to let him talk as I stare out at the passing frozen trees and green signs.

He proceeds to tell me all about his life in Florida. His stories are light and funny and fill me with imagines of sunny warm days and cool breezy relaxing nights.

Our conversation is effortless as if we’ve known each other our whole lives. I am constantly surprised by his interest in my opinion and feelings.

It almost feels strange to have someone value what I have to say instead of slamming me at every turn.

We are both surprised when we arrive at our destination.

Four hours have gone so fast I almost questioned whether we were in the right place.

We pull up a to a motel that looks straight out of the movies.

Half of its neon lights are burnt out and there is lawn furniture frozen inside the kidney shaped pool.

I smile knowing that Max wouldn’t even use the bathroom in a place like this.

It’s dark now and the lights from the dash are reflecting in his amber eyes making them almost glow as he turns the heat up and the radio on.

“I’ll just be a minute. It’s so cold why don’t you stay in the car while I get our rooms.”

I nod and reach for my uncomfortable boots. I can’t get over the totally unfamiliar feeling of having someone take care of me. Anger drifts through me for a second as I silently wonder if people really live this way. If all these years what I thought was normal was really quite abnormal.

The moment is quickly replaced with fear as my phone begins to ring. I hold it in my gloved hands watching as his name blinks on the small screen.

I swallow hard wondering if I can lie, wondering what I should say, worried that he will see right through me.

Knowing I have no choice I answer the phone while keeping an eye on Zan through a window in the office.

“Hello?”

“Why are you sounding like you don’t know who it is Liz?

“Well I-

“You do see my name don’t you?”

“Yes but-

“But what Liz? Really, can’t you at least try to sound like a capable person who has managed to master the simple technique of answering a phone?”

“I’m sorry I should’ve-

“Forget it, thanks to you I’ve been cooped up in this damn hotel at day while Maggie from the office faxes me the work you forgot to pack for me. I had to try and explain how my incompetent wife couldn’t handle an effortless task.”

“Max I’m sorry about that-

“That’s right you weren't around when I called earlier. Where were you anyway?”

“I… well... I was at the gym. I decided to take advantage of the membership you gave me for Christmas.”

“You were at the gym.”

“Y-Yes.”

“That’s interesting because I spoke to Michael today. He’s at the gym every Saturday morning. I wonder why he didn’t mention seeing you there. What did you do at the gym Liz? Did you take a class, swim in the pool, lift some weights?”

“Well I-I-

“Fucking liar, you weren’t at the gym. Seriously Liz if you were going to lie telling me you were actually taking an interest in your appearance was not the way to go. Like I would ever fucking believe that. You forget also that I know everyone in this town Liz. I’ll catch you at every turn, you can’t fucking get anything past me.”

“Max…I just didn’t want you to be disappointed that I didn’t get anything accomplish today.”

“Why should today be any different than any other day. You know you’re really worthless Liz, why do you even exist? Seriously what purpose do you actually serve?”

“I-I

“Don’t answer, why don’t you use you poor excuse for a brain to think it over. Room service is here, I'll call you back.”

I jump as Zan opens the door and the bright interior light of his truck lights up my tearstained face.

His eyes widens in shock wondering what had happened in the short time that he’s left me.

“What is it?”

I hold out my phone in my shaky hand.

Immediately he understands and slides inside the truck taking me in his strong arms.

I can hear him in my ear quietly whispering as he strokes my hair gently.

“Shh, it’s ok Liz.”

“Please just take me to my room, I’m really tired.”

Embarrassed I choke back my tears and pull away. My head is pounding and I feel sick. I realize that it’s only a matter of time before Zan sees in me the same thing Max does.

I wrap my arms around myself shivering against the cold waiting for him to open the door.

I can’t look in his eyes; it’s just too much. I must look so weak and helpless.

Once inside I watch as he carefully places my bag on the bed and moves towards the door.

“Liz is there anything I can do?”

“No, I’ll be fine.”

My eyes are locked on the olive green worn rug as I watch his boots move past me to the door.

Hearing the click of the lock I sigh and let my tears go.

I’m shaking so hard now I’m afraid I’ll never stop. I keep hearing his words in my head.

Why do you even exist? What purpose do you even serve?

Just then I feel his hands smooth up my arms. I look up into the mirror opposite me and see his refection.

Our eyes lock as he slides his hands around my waist and pulls me gently against his body.

Trying hard to find my voice I whisper to him.

“Zan... what are you doing?”

“Tell me to go Liz.”

I bite my lip as his mouth brushes against my ear.

After several seconds he nods and begins to back away.

Without thinking I grab his hands and hold them tight around my body.

His eyes flash back at me as I breathe out my request.

“Stay.”

darkmoon
Alien_Friend
LizMichael 4 Ever
Mezz
destinyc
vampyrolover86
garcia88
Jan
Monica
crazedearthgirl
roswell3053
angelina
Detzer84 x2
liz490
Lena

Wow thank you so much for all of your amazing fb. You really have no idea how much it means to me... Mezz you gave me chills with your reply ...so perfectly written...so true. Darkmoon I loved your fb!! You definitely made me smile... but then again you always do! Jan I would be lost without you but I think you already know that






Chapter 5.







“Stay.”

My eyes remain closed as my head begins to spin. What am I doing? I can’t handle this. I’m not this kind of person.

I try and fight the intense feeling of guilt that washes continually over me. Does Max’s treatment of me warrant something as severe as cheating? Am I this person …this deceitful person? Can I live with this? Will I be able to face myself in the mirror?

Am I like... Max?

It’s true I’ve known about his many affairs. He’s never done much to hide them, probably thinks I’m too stupid to notice or too loyal to challenge his word. I hear him in my head over and over saying the same things.

Your insane, jealous, insecure… always me with the problem, always me that ends up blaming myself.

I bite back my turmoil and cave to what my heart is craving almost starving for.

My body melts against his hard chest as he gently sweeps his mouth along my neck.

A quick gasp of air fills my lungs tightening his grip on my hands. I can feel like somehow he knows just how badly I need this.

For the first time in my life there is no sense of fear or apprehension for how I will be treated in a man’s arms. I know this like I know my own name but still I can feel my husbands words creep from that dark place deep inside my shattered heart.

You are nothing.

You are nothing.

Zan’s low deep voice sends chills up my spine pulling me from my insecure thoughts.

“You’re shaking.”

My words are barely audible as I lower my head to the ground.

“I know.”

“We don’t have to do anything. I’ll give you whatever you need Liz. Just let me take care of you.”

“I don’t know what I need.”

My voice cracks as tears fills my eyes and spill down my cheeks.

“Maybe I do.”

The room begins to spin as I feel his hot breath on my skin and his fingers lace with mine. In this moment I feel like nothing could tear me away from him.

I feel his hands leave mine and reach up to release the knot from my scarf.

Slowly he pulls it from my neck and lets it fall to the floor.

Our eyes lock in the refection in the mirror across the room. His intense stare causes an ache between my legs I have never felt before. It’s almost as if he knows this as his eyes grow darker with hunger.

My rapid breathing is so loud it’s almost embarrassing as he releases the buttons one by one from my coat.

Pulling it from my arms he throws it onto the worn flowered chair in the corner of the room and rests his hands on my shoulders.

Slowly he turns me to face him but my eyes fall to the floor.

I can’t look at him in the eyes. I don’t know what he is expecting but all I know is my husband …all I know of sex is obeying as he angrily does what he wants.

Cold hard rough angry sex is all that I am used to …all that I know. I know I won’t be able to please him …I know I can’t give him what he wants.

Stalling I find something to focus on while I find the words to tell him.

I stare at his black work boots noting the worn toe and frayed laces. Everything about him is on the surface …there is no games no manipulation. He is comfortable with who he is and with the people around him … there is no need for conquering or control. This is all so new to me.

Still I am terrified of him knowing what’s inside me … of him seeing the real me. I feel like any minute everything that Max feels about me will be revealed for him and he will see the big mistake he is making.

My hands are balled up into tight fists, my muscles are tense waiting - preparing for the harsh words that I am so used to.

Instead I feel his hands against my face tilting me up to look at him. They are callused and rough but incredible gentle at the same time. Opposite of Max …everything about him is different from Max.

“Liz.”

The sound of my name is as faint as an exhaled breath as he comes closer.

His approach is slow as leans into me, I feel like he’s almost waiting for permission, some kind of assurance that this is what I want.

I can’t help but be trapped in his gaze completely stunned at the way he is looking at me.

Unconsciously I lick my lips as I fight my nervous impulse to pull away.

Suddenly his eyes change, I hear his heavy breathing over mine now.

My face is shaking in his hands as his mouth covers me.

My eyes drift shut as his lips touch mine parting them slightly softly again and again.

Suddenly a clear picture of Max flashes in my mind and I pull away.

Like a coward I walk to the opposite side of the bed and sit.

Expecting him to leave I begin to play with a stray string that is hanging from my glove.

I feel the bed sink as he sits beside me.

My automatic response flows easily from me as he takes my hands in his and pulls my gloves off.

“I’m sorry.”

“Please don’t apologize to me Liz. Just answer one question.”

I nod slowly as he blows on my hands and rubs them between his fingers.

It suddenly strikes me that he thinks I’m shaking because I’m cold. This one gesture is kinder than anything Max has ever done for me.

“What’s your question?’

“Did you want me to kiss you?”

I hesitate for several seconds knowing what question will be next as I slowly nod.

“Than why-

“Zan this is a mistake, I-I shouldn’t have let things get this far-

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t push me away because you’re afraid.”

I nervously begin to shake my head no as he begins to rub his thumb across the inside of my palm.

“Don’t tell me that you don’t feel this …what’s happening between us… because I know you do.”

“Zan you don’t know what you’re talking about… you don’t know me.”

“I see you Liz.”

I pull my hands away feeling very vulnerable as he tilts his head down to catch my eyes.

“I see how you try to hide yourself from everyone, how you’re so afraid to make a mistake, say the wrong thing, screw up somehow. I see how hard you try to disappear.”

I grasp for words but nothing comes to me.

“I also see how you tremble every time I come near you and how you stare at me when you think I’m not paying attention.”

“Please Zan -

“You should know Liz …I am always paying attention to you.”

My tiny whispered voice lets the truth slip out, as I boldly look him directly in his warm amber eyes.

“It’s true…everything you said is true.”

My heart slams against my chest as he slides on his knees and kneels between my legs.

I swallow hard as he lifts my foot and pulls my boots from me and settles inside my thighs again.

I hold my breath as he takes his jacket off and lifts his shirt from his body.

I lean back resting on my hands as I let my eyes drink in his muscular tattooed chest and sculptured arms. I feel a deep blush come across my face as I stare at the small trail of dark hair that disappears beneath his jeans that are resting low on his hips.

He comes closer between my legs and glides his hands along the outside of my thighs until he reaches my hips. Slowly he pulls me flush against his hard arousal.

He closes his eyes for a second then looks straight at me as shaky breathless words fall from his lips.

“Is this …too fast?”

I bite my lower lip as I feel him pressing into me.

I slowly shake my head no when suddenly I hear my phone vibrating in the pocket of my coat.

We both look over in the direction of the assaulting sound and then at each other.

“Don’t answer it.”

“But –

“Please Liz …don’t.”

KiaraAlexisKlay
Jan .. thank you from the bottom of my heart.
darkmoon x2 with the power of Seki thank you d. you are such a gift.
garcia x3 (thank you kris!)
destinyc
Alien_Friend
Monica x2 ...love you sweetie, your banner still inspires me.
Angelina
DollyF
Natalie36
roswellian love x2
Dexter84
roswell3035
abbs007
orphyfets
crazedearthgirl
Egyptian_Kiss .. thank you so much for your kind words.
Nikki04
burningchaos...yay! you read my story! so happy!! thank you!
sarammlover
liz490


OK I went over this a million times in my head at first I was going to go one way, but after an extrememly difficult week I decided to go with my gut. We are all human and I think long desperately to feel affection and love. So I hope everyone doesn't judge Liz too harshly ...I think those of you who have gone through what she has will understand. Sometimes when you get a chance to feel something other than hate you grab at it and hold on to it has tight as you can...

A big thank you to all of you who left this incredible fb... you really have no idea how much it means to me.

ok holding my breath again...
thanks again
Carrie









Chapter 6




I can’t explain the warmth …no the burning heat that is pressed against me as I stare breathlessly at him.

His eyes are pleading as he pulls me harder against him.

Just that little movement makes me cry out as my need to feel him inside me takes over every thought in my mind.

Again I hear the phone now for the last time.

I fall against the bed and rest my shaky hands over my eyes.

I breathe out the same phrase several times.

“What am I doing?”

I know I’m just avoiding the enviable, I know that he will continue to call. Max is beyond controlling, in his mind he owns me. Bought and paid for with a marriage certificate. I was bound to be whatever he needed me to be for life.

Having a thought or need of my own was never in the agreement. My duty was to be his wife, which usually meant staying quiet and adhering to the rules…and god help me if I didn’t.

I learned that lesson very quickly; you do not raise your voice, challenge or talk back to Max Evans. I learned quite painfully that this is his world; I am just lucky to be in it.

The thought of another fight is almost more than I can bare but I know it’s coming. The painful place he always leaves me in is waiting …that place where I feel so alone I could scream where I pray so much to just disappear.

Suddenly I feel Zan rest his head on my stomach, his lips tenderly kiss my trembling skin as his hands slip under my shirt caressing me softly.

I want to take comfort in him so bad it physically hurts.

His touch is so gentle so loving …I’m almost starving for it.

Everything inside me is screaming to just let go and let Zan love me.

My eyes are closed my mind racing.

If I do this I can never go back. I’ll always be this person… this cheating lying person.

Suddenly I feel him back away from me.

See now you’ve done it. He’s sees what a screwed up mess you are.

I lay there holding my breath waiting for the sound of the door so I can cry myself to sleep.

Then I feel him. His gentle strong arms are around my legs lifting me so I’m now lying on the bed.

I hold my breath as his fingers reach inside my jeans and unbutton them pulling them off my legs.

Nervously I turn on my side.

To my surprise he puts a blanket over me and lies behind me wrapping his arms tightly around me.

His soft deep voice is in my ear calming me, soothing me as I relax against his hard body.

“I’m just going to hold you.”

I can’t explain the feeling rushing through me at this moment. He knows without knowing what I need …what I’m not ready for. He doesn’t want to pressure me. I don’t even know how to handle this.

I feel warm and loved.

I feel safe.

Just at that moment my phone begins to vibrate again. I jump realizing how much trouble I’m in.

I sit up with tears in my eyes shocked when I see Zan pull the phone from my pocket and bring it to me.

He mouths the words I’m here and brushes the hair from my eyes.

I take a deep breath and nod as I answer.

“Hello Max.”

I have to hold the phone away from my ear because of the screaming.

The string of curse words and degrading accusations sends Zan into a fury.

I watch as he holds his hand out wanting me to give him the phone.

I shake my head and bring it back to my ear again.

I continue with my pathetic script of calming him down. It’s so memorized in my head I barely have to pay attention to the words as they flow from my guilty mouth.

“Yes Max, you’re right I should’ve known you were going to call.”

I avoid eye contact with Zan as I continue hoping that it will work.

“You’re right, you think I would know by now. I’m sorry, I know, you’re right I’m sorry.”

I turn my back to Zan humiliated by him seeing what I’m really like.

“Forgive me please, it won’t happen again.”

On and on it goes until Max has finally had enough and hangs up on me.

I look over at Zan who is pacing the floor.

I know how pathetic I must sound. How could anyone have respect for someone like that …how could anyone possibly understand what years of abuse could do to someone.

I throw the phone on the nightstand and turn on my side feeling stupid and weak.

“It’s ok if you want to go. I understand.”

Again he envelops me in his arms and pulls me in tight. This time one hand is resting over my breast and the other on the inside of my thigh.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Zan-

“Let me finish.”

I nod as I attempt to keep my body from trembling under the touch of his warm hands.

“I understand what’s going on… I know what he’s done to you and I know you’re embarrassed.”

“Zan-"

“This is his fault Liz ….he did this to you. I get it if you're afraid, or if you feel you're not ready, or even if you feel you owe the bastard the truth before we make love, but don’t tell me you don’t want this. You deserve to be happy Liz… to be loved.”

Slowly he turns me on my back and hovers over me resting his forehead on mine.

“Zan …I’ve never slept with anyone else but Max. I don’t-“

His eyes grow dark with need as he leans down against my ear and whispers to me.

“I’m not going to push you Liz, but I want you to feel good …I want to at least take away the pain for tonight.”

My head falls back as he smoothes his hands over my breasts brushing over my harden nipples. My legs fall open and wrap around his waist as he seizes my mouth.

I feel his fingers pull at my thin sweater as he tries to raise it over my head and I stop him afraid of what he will think.

“Zan please …I don’t want you to see me.”

The lights from the parking lot are shining down me, and all can hear is Max’s disapproving words forcing their way in my head.

Zan pulls away first with a look of confusion then of anger.

“What has he told you?”

I turn my face away from him ashamed and embarrassed.

“You don’t have to lie to me …I know I’m not what men think of as… attractive.”

Suddenly he grabs my hand and holds it against his very hard cock.

“Does it feel like I’m not attracted to you Liz?”

Letting my hand go he sits up on his knees and firmly pulls my panties down my shaky legs.

Breathlessly he brings his mouth to my ear and whispers to me before sliding his tongue down my neck and onto my trembling body.

“I’ve wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on you Elizabeth… from the second I saw you I wanted to lay you down on the hood of my truck and taste you. “

I frantically grasp at his shoulders knowing that I’ve never came before, knowing that this is not possible for me.

He skillfully slips out of my reach and rests between my thighs. His mouth is so close to me I can feel his hot breath teasing me mercilessly.

I bite my lip and close my eyes as he gently slips my legs over his shoulders.

“Look at me.’

His deep sultry voice leaves me teetering on the edge of something I have yet to experience.

I lick my lips and struggle to find a voice inside my spinning head.

Slowly I turn and look at him. His face is down, his mouth ready to please me, his seducing eyes are directed up at me staring at me through his dark eyelashes.

I’m blushing the deepest darkest red I’m sure as I open my mouth to speak.

“Zan I’ve never had…I mean I can’t have an orgasm. I’m just going to disappoint you.”

“Is that what he told you? That you’re the reason why he can’t make you cum?”

I nod slowly as my lips quiver under my harsh shallow breaths.

I watch as he raises one corner of his mouth before parting his lips and descending upon me.

The moment his soft tongue flicks lightly against my clit I start to cry out. Embarrassed I cover my mouth and try hard not to make a sound.

Instantly I feel his hand on my wrist pulling it away from my mouth.

“I want to hear you Liz. Please don’t be embarrassed … you’re beautiful …everything about you is beautiful.”

Before I can take in his sweet words I feel his tongue slid through my folds.

Nothing could hold back the sounds that fall from my lips as he continuously dips his tongue inside me going deeper each time.

“Oh my god Zan!”

He groans in response adding to the insane pleasure that is raking my body.

Like a whip of fire he traces my lower lips before taking my clit in his mouth and sucking hard.

With my back arched off the bed and my hands laced through his hair, I desperately hold him there quivering against his mouth.

The room is full of nothing but my now quiet moans and breathless whispers of his name.

Slowly he releases me placing soft kisses over the trembling flesh beneath him.

Pulling my hair from my eyes I turn on my side as he takes his places in back of me and wraps his arms tightly around my body.

I am lost for words but no longer embarrassed as I lay quietly in his arms.

“I have feelings for you Liz …you don’t need to say anything, I just want you to know.”

I take a deep breath to speak but feel his hands slide slowly up and down my arm.

“Shh… rest now. We’ll talk in the morning.”

From pure exhaustion my eyes flutter close but his words stir restlessly in my mind.

"Morning."

Hello everyone! thank you so so much for all your fb and bumps!!! I'm so sorry it took so long to update this!

I promise to come back and thank everyone individually but I have to do this quick...RL is being a serious pain in the ass.

Please forgive any grammer mistakes.. I had to write this really fast...

I hope you all like the update!

You replies mean the world to me!! seriously thank you so much for your support!!
Carrie



Chapter 7




As I slowly open my eyes and roll onto my back I can hear the shower running from the bathroom and suddenly everything comes rushing back to me.

Pulling up my knees I run my hands over my thighs remembering how Zan laid between my legs staring up at me with those seductive honey eyes.

My cheeks flush as I remember how I shivered and moaned under his skillful mouth.

Instantly I become wet again thinking of how he made me feel and wanting that feeling again.

I glance over at the half cracked bathroom door and my heart begins to race knowing he was so close. I can’t help but picture the droplets of steamy hot water sliding over his hard muscles.

I imagine his head back and his eyes closed as he rubs the soap over his tattooed chiseled chest.

God if I was anyone else I would run in there and join him. I would let him take me to that insane place of pleasure he did last night.

But I’m me … insecure inexperienced …married.

Lets face it I would have no idea how to make love to him in a bed forget about having to work out the positions in a shower.

Still my body yearns for his touch and silently screams for the release I felt last night.

Last night.

I stare at the ceiling wondering what happens now.

Please not yet I tell myself as I drift back to the memory of his mouth on me, his tongue inside me, his growling voice coaxing me on.

I want so much to feel that feeling again. I want so much to forget for just a little while longer the mess that is waiting for me at home…. the consequences of my actions that are waiting for me.

Licking my lips I let my legs fall apart as I slide my hand between my thighs.

I always felt so self-conscious about my body before because of Max. It never occurred to me to even try to pleasure myself.

I never felt such urgency, just a need before. Even if I had to pretend it was Zan touching me it would be enough at this point.

I gasp as I feel my finger brush against my swollen clit. “Zan.”

I can’t restrain myself as I whisper his name.

Moaning I turn to my side and squeeze my legs together as the incredible sensation begins to build within me.

Just then the image of Max fills my head.

Reality slams into me like a truck as I pull my hand away.

“Don’t stop.”

My eyes flash open to find Zan standing in the doorway of the bathroom. He’s dripping wet with a towel snug tight to his body low around his hips. My mouth literally goes dry from the sight of him.

“Oh god.”

Mortified I turn away from him and pull the sheet over my body.

As embarrassed as I was, seeing him wet and breathless in the doorway made me almost cum right there.

Feeling the bed sink down I know what’s coming next and this time I wonder if I’ll have the same strength I had last night to resist him.

My eyes slam shut when I feel his naked body form against my back.

His low gentle voice is in my ear urging me to continue.

“It’s normal to touch yourself, it’s normal to want to feel good Liz.”

“But I’ve never …I feel stupid …embarrassed… I can’t.”

“Well I can.”

Immediately his mouth presses against my spine as his hand caresses my ass before reaching around to dip his two fingers inside my dripping core.

“God you’re so wet.”

Uncontrollably I rocked back and forth with the rhythm he has set while I shamelessly grind back against his hard cock.

My hand covered his as I begged for him not to stop.

I could feel him sliding back and forth against my cheeks and it almost drives me insane.

My heart pounds with the knowledge that all I have to do is ask him and he would be deep inside me…and at this point …its all I want..

With his voice shaky and hoarse he entices me on.

“Cum for me beautiful … cum for me.”

I nearly scream as he flicks his thumb across my swollen nub as his thick fingers press against that sensitive spot I didn’t even know I had.

Carefully he lays me back and hovers over me watching as I gaze up at him flushed and shaking.

Gently he cups my cheek with his large hand as his thumb brushs against my lower lip.

“Are you alright?”

Speechless I shake my head up and down lost in his beautiful wet body that touches mine with every breath he takes.

“I need to be with you Liz. We have to figure this out. Please –“

His eyes close in frustration as my phone again vibrates on the bedside table.

Fear rushes through my veins as I slid out from under Zan and grab the phone.

I watch as he sits on the edge of the bed and runs his fingers threw his hair.

“Hello Max.”

I could feel the guilt wash over me as my heart still races from the intense orgasm from Zan’s skillful hands.

“Are you still sleeping!?”

“No, no I was cleaning the house.”

My hands began to shake feeling that somehow he could see right through my lies.

“I’m taking an earlier flight, I should be home by nine.”

“O-Ok Max.”

A slight hesitation in his voice sends shivers up my spine.

“Is there something wrong Liz?”

I hear the edge of anger rising in his voice. He knows something’s up. He’s just not sure what it is.

“N-no nothing. I’m just a little tired.”

“Tired? Yes laying around doing nothing can be exhausting. Listen I had a huge board meeting in the morning, I need you to pull out my new blue suit and my striped tie… do you think you can handle that Liz?”

I begin to respond but hear a dial tone before I can speak.

With my head held down I begin to pick up my clothes and head towards the shower.

Hearing Max’s voice has filled me with dread and confusion. I can’t even begin to think of what I’m going to do now.

Just as I’m about to close the bathroom door I feel his hands on my shoulders.

“Hey remember me?”

Tears fill my eyes as I quickly turn and bury my head in his chest.

Strong gentle arms hold me there tight making me wish that I could just stay there forever.

“It’s going to be ok Liz…but we’ve got to talk.”

I nod as I begin to back away. Quietly I promise him that we will but not now.

Giving me a small understanding smile he tells me to take my time while he checks us out.

“I’ll get us some coffee and something to eat. Just come out to the truck when you’re ready.”


I watch him as he haggles over the price for the part of my car. I can’t take my eyes off of him, how he moves, his smile. This isn’t good; all I want is to stay with him forever. I want something that isn’t possible and I‘m going to get hurt.



We drive home in complete silence.

I’m not sure what he’s thinking, if he was thinking anything at all. He hardly knows me and I know deep inside that if he did he would see the same thing Max does.

I couldn’t bear to see that in his eyes.

I watch the trees rush by wondering what I’m even doing.

The last thing I want is for Zan to see the real me. I couldn’t stand to see the disappointed look in his eyes when he finally discovers I’m not the girl he thinks I am. No …I couldn’t go through that twice.

This has to end. There is no other choice, and I have to tell him before I get out of this truck.

He will probably be fine with it. Who am I kidding …like he’s going to really have feelings for a girl he hardly knows.

As we pull into my driveway I am trembling knowing what I have to do.

Sitting in front of Max’s house I realize how stupid I’ve been … the truth is I’m probably too screwed up from years of abuse to even have a normal relationship.

Deep in my heart I know that Max wouldn’t just let me go either.

It wouldn’t be out of love it would be out of ownership.

He owns me … like a piece of property… and no one fucks with Max’s property.

I couldn’t let someone as sweet and gentle as Zan get involved in my mess. He deserves better … he deserves someone normal.

“You’re shaking …are you cold?”

I look down at my feet unable to look him in the eyes and shake my head.

“We’ll I better get going.”

He takes my hand in his and laces his fingers through mine.

“It’s early …we made good time. You don’t have to go yet.”

“Yes I do Zan.”

“Liz look at me.”

My heart melts as I stare into his sensitive eyes.

“I’ve never felt this way before …I-I know I’m not good at this…t-talking-

“Zan.”

My heart is breaking as I see him struggling to tell me how he feels.

“No please let me finish.”

All of a sudden head lights blind us both as we squint to see Max pulling up beside us.

Panic freezes my body as I sit there terrified to move.

“Don’t worry …just let me do the talking.”

Immediately Zan gets out of the truck and walks up to Max.

I can’t hear what they’re saying but I can see Zan showing him the part to the car.

I watch as Max waves him away and points his finger at me motioning me to get out of the truck.

“You couldn’t find anyone else to take you to the store?”

“I-I well …

I watch as Zan walks back to the truck and opens the door.

Just then Max throws something wet at me.

“What is the one thing I always ask you to make sure you do Liz ?”

Looking down at the ground I see the wet bundle of mail resting on the ground.

The mail … I forgot to get the mail yesterday before we left.

“Are you that fucking dense Liz? Is walking to the mailbox to fucking complicated for you? Now it’s all wet Liz! Really what the fuck is wrong with you?”

I tense as I hear the truck door slam. Oh god what is he going to do?

“Ok Max I think she gets the point.”

“Excuse me? Who the fuck do you think you are? This is my wife and I’ll talk to her any way I fucking see fit.”

“Zan please its ok …please just go.”

Now Max is not a stupid man and as the words left my mouth I silently regretted the way I spoke to Zan. It was too familiar ….not at all the way someone would talk to a person they just met.

I could see the wheels turning in Max’s head as I grab the mail off the ground.

“Thanks for the ride Zan. Let me know when the car’s ready.”

I wave nervously giving him a pleading look to let it go.

“Come inside Max…I’m sure your hungry let me make you something to eat.”

I sigh with relief as Max shakes his head at me and walks up the stairs hopefully leaving his suspicious feelings behind..

I quickly pick up his briefcase and run up the stairs stopping suddenly as I hear my name.

“Liz.”

I watch as he runs up to me and takes me in his arms giving me a tender soft kiss on the lips.

“Zan please!”

“I need to see you again…I’m not letting you go Liz.”

“Zan please he can come back any second.”

“Do you know how hard it was for me to stand there and let him talk to you like that?”

“Zan please you’ll only make it worse.”

“Say you’ll see me and I’ll leave.”

“Zan!”

Resting his forehead against mine my heart already is missing him.

“Ok… Ok …tomorrow noon come back… he’ll be at work. Bring the car just in case.”

I sigh into his sweet mouth as he gives me one last kiss before running back to his truck.

I watch as the old ford pulls out of the driveway wishing more than anything I was there with him.

Gripping the doorknob my eyes well up knowing how hard it’s going to be to wait until tomorrow.

God what have I done.

garcia88: Kris, thank you so so much for saying that you love this.
Destiny: you are very right about it being necessary for her to leave Max, lets hope someday she finds some courage to do that. thank you so much destiny.
Dexter84: x5 Ok seriously you just blew me away with your fb! I so wanted Liz to come off as a real person, I wanted her to be very human, acting the way I think most people would caught in this situation. It means the world to me that you saw it this way. thank you so so much!! And for all the bumps I am so grateful!
crazedearthgirl: thank you very much for your fb!! So happy you are liking this!
angelina: so happy for your support as always! I hope you know how much it means to me! thank you!!
touched by an alien: x2... Ok I promise to explain why Max is like this.. just not yet. Thank you so much for all your support!!
Alien_Friend: thank you so much for being here!
darkmoon: Ncis and Csi huh? Yes I have watched those shows very closely, You have a point love you!!!
roswell3053: Yes I want Zan to beat the crap out of him too... we're just going to have to wait and see if that happens. thank you so much for your fb!!
KeepSmiling: Ok Carolyn in this update we are going to have a glimpse at the beginnings of Max's abuse. I think it will answer some of your question...can i just say...I LOVE THAT YOUR HERE!! i brought you over to the UC board!! I have done my job thank you thank you for being so sweet to me!!
scorpio6: Yes Max is Nasty and its going get worse before it gets better I'm afraid... thank you so much for being here!
Jan: I can't believe I got you to hate MAx!! I love turning your world upside down jan You are awesome and I am very lucky thank you sweetie!
Monica: thank you so much for the bump!! love you! I am stil inspired by that amazing banner you made me!! So perfect!!








Chapter 8.





I start the dishwasher and turn towards the kitchen window as my mind drifts away.

I managed to get through dinner and his stories of how magnificent he was on his business trip.

I listened and nodded obediently like I always do making sure not to give away my secret.

As far as I can tell he has no idea. I sigh as I hear the shower stop knowing that my real obligation as his wife has only begun.

Still I look out into the back yard and watch as the snow softly falls on the white birch trees.

Hearing his words again in my head I think of happier days, days before I was Mrs. Max Evans.

“I don’t think I’ve ever made a snow man before.”

“No you haven’t you told me that on our first date. That’s why were here.”

“Ok but Max aren’t we going to get in trouble? I mean whose yard are we in anyway?”

I sigh into his gloved hands as he holds me tight.

“Hmm well I know the owner and I don’t think he’d mind.”

“Max this is your house?”

"As of yesterday, yes. I recieved a promotion, you could say everything is lining up perfectly."

I lose my breath as I feel a pull on my hand and look down to see Max on his knee with the biggest diamond I’ve ever seen.

“Liz, I know you’ve have a horrible childhood. I know I will never be able to change what your father did to you but if you let me try I can give you new memories, happy memories.”

“Max.”

“Just say you’ll be my wife …just say yes.”

“What are you thinking about?”

Gasping I jump and turn around to see the man who promise to make me happy …to love me forever.

It’s hard to even look in his eyes knowing that he picked me out …that he knew exactly what he was doing every step of the way.

“Nothing special.”

“Well come to bed I need to get laid.”

“Be still my heart.”

I mumble these words as he walks away and close my eyes as he stops.

“What did you just say?”

I can hear the anger rising his voice. I should know by now he hears everything …everything.

“Nothing …I’ll be right there.”

My head drops as dread fills my stomach. I can’t do this …not after being in Zan’s arms. How am I going to get through this?

As I turn all the lights off another memory floods my mind.

“I can’t believe we’re here! Hawaii is so beautiful!”

“I can’t believe this!”

“Max what’s wrong?”

Suddenly the sweet romantic Man that wined and dined me and promised me the world had disappeared.

As he turned to look at me it was like I was looking at a stranger, someone I had never met before.

His eyes were bulging his face deep red his fists clenched at his sides.

He was terrifying.

“I told you I wanted an ocean view Liz!”

It was like I was pulled into another reality some other life. It was so surreal. Like I was standing there watching this happening… because it couldn’t really be happening to me… not again.

“What?”

“You made the reservations! You fucked up! You ruined our fucking honeymoon!”

Looking out the window at the garden view I shook my head as I tried to make sense of something that was impossible to understand.

“Max it’s fine …the garden is beautiful. This isn’t going to ruin anything…please calm down.”

Backing up against the wall I learned my first lesson. Don’t ever tell Max Evans to calm down.

Laying in bed that first night my head was spinning. What was I going to do, forty-eight hours ago I was dancing at my wedding reception with the man of my dreams. I gave my heart to him …I loved him.

“Honey are you awake?”

Opening my eyes I am scared to death waiting for that monster to resurface …waiting for the stranger to look back at me.

“Yes.”

“Good because I am going to show you the time of your life today. I have been here at least five times for business I know all the-

“Wait.”

I didn’t understand …what was going on …my husband was back.

“Max don’t you think we should talk about last night?”

His eyes flickered with rage as his jaw tightened and his teeth gnashed.

“Do you really want to do this? Are you really going to start a fight on our first official day of our honeymoon? Is this what our freakin marriage is going to be like. You fucking bringing up every god damn argument till –

“I’m sorry …I’m sorry… no that’s not what I want. I’m so sorry.”

As the words left my mouth I couldn’t believe I was saying them. I just wanted my husband back. I just wanted everything to be ok.

“Good now go get ready and I’ll rent us a car.”

“Ok Max.”

Confusion filled my brain as he took my face in his hands just as gently as he had done in the past.

“I love you Liz.”

And just like that everything was back to normal. Except it didn’t last. In fact nothing would ever be normal again.

Walking into the bedroom I feel for the bed blinded by the darkness.

Silence fills the air as I get under the covers.

I stiffen as I feel his hands on me.

In one motion he pulls my panties off and rolls on top of me.

“I need a good fuck Liz. You going to be my little whore?”

Tears fill my eyes as I nod.

I wince as he enters me hard and fast.

It hurts and I bite my lip to keep from crying.

A car drives by and for a moment lights up his face.

He looks angry as he pounds inside of me.

No love no affection nothing but his cold hard eyes staring me down like he paying me back for something. Like he’s getting his revenge.

I close my eyes and try to pretend I’m somewhere else. I try and remember the old flaking wallpaper of the hotel room and the green shag rug. I work hard to picture Zan smiling at me holding me close.

“Open your eyes!”

I do as he asks as he grunts through his orgasm.

Without a word he rolls off of me and turns towards the opposite side of the room.

In minutes he is snoring.

I listen …like I always do and wait…wait till he’s asleep to let myself cry.



You see this didn’t happen over night. It was little by little day-by-day, so slowly that I really didn’t understand what was happening until it was too late.

He chose me.

He picked me out to be his wife because he knew my past.

He knew the abuse I endured by my father.

He knew I was vulnerable and desperate for love.

He knew that I was the perfect person to control and dominate.

See this is how Max Evans operates.

This is how he climbed to the top of the corperate ladder and destroyed me.

He makes his deals …manipulation is his expertise.

Confidence fear control, all part of his arsenal.

He is the master at it.

And I was his biggest conquest.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




I hear a knock at the door.

I know it’s him.

I pace back and forth in front of the door shaking.

I know deep inside that Max has taken me apart. I know that I am so messed up I could never be good for anyone.

I know it’s too late.

“Liz please… I know you’re in there.”

I rest my back against the door and cry.

“Zan just leave the key in the mailbox.”

“Liz open the door.”

His voice was pleading but serious. My god what have I done.

“Please.”

Taking a deep breath I find the strength to say the words I need to say.

“Zan you have to go away and forget about me. Please just leave.”

All at once the noise stops.

No knocking, nothing.

I let the tears go down my cheeks as I realize I’ve let him go.

Slowly I walk into the kitchen empty and lost.

And there he is.

My eyes widen as I watch him standing outside my backdoor.

I watch as the glass fogs up with his breath as he stands there watching me.

“I love you.”

He mouths the words that I am desperate to hear, they make me crumble.

“Zan.”

“Please open the door.”

Somehow I walk the five steps to the doorknob and open it.

Before I know it I’m crushed against his chest as his arms wrap tightly around me.

His mouth finds my ear and whispers over and over again.

“I love you, i love you.”

“Then take me.”

Shocked by my own words I stare up at him as he pulls back and looks into my eyes.

“What?”

“Take me… make love to me. I-I want to know what its…supposed to feel like.”

He tilts his head to the side and brushes the tears from my face.

“Liz –

“Please Zan …do it now before I lose my courage. I need you….I-I love you too.”

A shiver runs through my body as I see his eyes change, narrow, darken with desire. His voice drops to a low sultry growl.

“Where’s the bedroom.”

Monica: wow it means the world to me that you think my writing is beautiful thank you so much sweetie!!
angelina: Zan will definitely make love to her, hope you like what I did thanks so much!
touched by an alien: x2 Wow I dont' know what to say to you... this is your favorite story? omg I was stunned when I read that! thank you just doesn't seem like enough now! And that video! omg! how friggin perfect!! I was dying!! its' my story!!! I loved it!! You are the best!!!
keepsmiling: Caroyln, So hoping you like this part, I love that your here, thank you so much!
darkmoon: x2 omg I love that your a "Carrie HO" omg you just kill me!!and having Seki beg... wow I love it! thank you for well just everything!
scorpio6: Yes Max is evil, so hope you like this next part! thank you!
lilah: wow Im so happy you like this Liz and Zan together! what a complement! thanks so much for letting me know!
Jan: x2 omg jan there are no words for how awesome your fb is! I hope Zan punches his lights out too! your the best sweetie! thank you!!
Dexter: love that you thought that update was wonderful! thank you so much!
destiny: So sorry that you had an ex similiar to Max, you know i can sympathize. Im so so happy that you are with your wonderful husband now! You are such an amazing person destiny you deserve all the happiness in the world!
crazedearthgirl: it amazing how many people can relate to this story... amazing and sad, so happy you got away from him! thank you for being here!
garcia88: x2 Kris I tried to come back as soon as I could i really hope you like this part! thank you so much for your sweet fb!



ok just a few things to tell you all... for this chapter you need to remember that in the beginning of the story Zan told LIz that he left town because he struck and killed a man when he was just a teenager.

Also I am deeply grateful for all the amazing supportive fb you all have given me. Especially touched by an alien who left a link to a youtube video that is exactly like my story...it's on her previous fb..please check it out .... it's friggin incredible!! I was blown away and so so happy when I watched it!!

One more thing... ok as all you writers know "these" scenes are very hard to write, esp. for a situation like this. so many emotions to deal with. Im holding my breath that I pullled it off. thank you so much again for all your support everyone..ok here it is really hope you like it.

oops sorry last thing.. there is a part that will seem familiar to anyone who has seen "the tattooist" its my own little version you could say love that movie!





Chapter 9.









“Please Zan …do it now before I lose my courage. I need you….I-I love you too.”

A shiver runs through my body as I see his eyes change, narrow, darken with desire. His voice drops to a low sultry growl.

“Where’s the bedroom.”

My eyes widen as he lifts me into his arms.

As if I’m light as a feather he grabs my ass with one hand and wraps my legs around his waist with the other.

Seizing me with his hot mouth he urges my lips apart and slides his tongue slowly torturously along mine.

I open my eyes to see him staring back at me. The fire and hunger coming from him is piercing my very soul, it’s so overwhelming my entire body begins to tremble.

Gone is the question of will we, should we. What we have between us now must be brought to its conclusion.

Over and over again he captures my mouth lashing his tongue against mine like a fiery whip.

Loosing our balance we crash against the fridge. My head falls back as Zan caresses my breasts pushing me hard against the cool metal.

I can hear the magnets as they fall against the ceramic floor. Zan’s heavy boot steps on the newspaper clipping that has falling on the floor of Max receiving his company awards, it rips in two as he pushes me harder into his cock.

Suddenly he quickly pulls me away from the fridge as we stumble moaning into each other’s mouth into the dinning room.

Breaking our kiss he slides his tongue down my neck over my throat. He sits me on the antique mahogany table that’s been in Max’s family for years, the one he doesn’t even allow us to eat on.

With one swipe of his arm he pushes the lace tablecloth off the edge sending the roses and crystal vase smashing to the floor.

Slowly he eases my body down as his tongue makes a hot trial down between the v of my sweater.

Blood is pumping so loudly in my ears I can hardly think straight.

Hearing him groan my name in that husky deep voice is enough to make my panties drenched.

Hearing the cars pass outside my head turns and I realize that we are right in front of the bay window.

What a sight we must be. Me with my back arched off the table my head thrown back my legs tightly wrapped around his hips. And Zan with his dark head between my breasts mouthing my nipples threw my sweater.

I thought I would burst into a million pieces as he grasps my thighs and pushes them hard against his waist.

Even threw my jeans I could feel the incredible stimulation of his rock hard cock rubbing against my burning core, but it was only when he thrust his pelvis up and pushes my hips down when I thought I would come right there.

It was then that the tip of his cock brushes against my clit sending me to a place I had no idea existed.

“Oh god Zan!”

He answers with a long groan as his fingers began to work the button on my jeans.

Trying to find my senses in all this my hoarse voice whispers to him that we are practically on display in front of the window.

“We can’t stay here.”

His intense amber eyes glance up at me for a moment sending my head spinning as he once again lifts me in the air.

I couldn’t bare the loss of his touch for just one second and grab his face to begin kissing him again.

My hand reaches out to the railing of the stairs as we attempt to climb each step determined to continue something that was clearly out of our control.

My fingernails dig into the carved one of a kind railing that Max had ordered special from an artist in New York City. I leave deep curved marks in the wood as Zan latches on to my neck and begins to suck and lick my racing pulse.

Loosing his footing he kneels down on the middle of the stair case and begins to kiss his way down my still clothed body. My hands clench his thick black hair as he nudges my sweater up and licks the skin inside the exposed area of my stomach.

Moving further down he moans my name as he claws at my jeans and tries to pull them down past my hips. He mouths the small soaked material between my legs and digs his fingers into my thighs clearly happy of how much I am responding to him.

Finding my voice somehow I lift his face up to look at me and whisper to him.

“Bedroom!”

Nodding he uses his unbelievable strength in his powerful arms he lifts me back up and carries me up the rest of the stairs.

Falling into the hallway his back hits several pictures that are hanging on the wall sending them crashing to the ground.

With each step his boot sends them spinning across the floor. Our wedding picture breaks leaving deep scratches in the floor that Max insists I clean on my hands and knees, More pictures fly down the hallway, Max’s parents, Max in his business suit on the day he was promoted.

I brace myself with my hands against these walls the same walls we painted together … the same walls that caused me my first scare when I so carelessly spilled paint on the floor.

Breathlessly he breaks away from me and whispers against my lips. ”Which room?”

I look down the long hallway at the first door, the guest room that always remains empty because Max forbids any visitors, the second door, an empty room meant for a baby, if only I wasn’t so incompetent and he didn’t fear me growing into a fat lazy mother.

I nodded to the room at the end of the hall …our bedroom, the room where I had spent countless hours under his sweaty body while he fucked me until I cried.

As we enter the room Zan could see the change in my expression. My pain was obvious, my memories filled with anguish and tears.

Slowly he laid me on the bed and stared down upon me.

Softly, calmly he began to speak to me as he undressed.

I watch as he lifts his black tee shirt up over his head revealing his sculpture hard stomach and broad smooth chest to my wanting eyes.

A strong ache strikes my core as I rub my legs together in a desperate attempt to ease the almost painful need for his touch.

My breath is shaky as my lips continue to tremble at just the sight of his magnificent body.

He throws his shirt to the floor and smoothes back his hair as he begins to whisper.

“I’m going to make you forget all the pain he put you through, every moment that you were forced to endure under his cruel hands. Never again will you feel less, worthless, dispensable.”

I realize at that moment how starved I was for love, for affection, to feel respected and wanted. My brain is trying hard to comprehend that this is really happening. My body is screaming for release, to be filled, to have him deep inside me.

I lick my lips as he begins to unbutton his jeans and push them along with his boxers down past his muscular thighs to the floor.

I bite down hard on my bottom lip as my eyes wander over his beautiful face, his golden defined arms, even his hands are something to be admired. “You’re incredible.” I breathe out as he modestly looks away.

I can’t stand it anymore I have to touch him; I sit up and turn to put my feet on the ground. Reaching out I gently guide his tight hard body close to me.

I look up at his face trying hard to memorize every expression every movement. I want to freeze time so it will always remain as perfect as it is right now.

I stretch my arms out over him so the tips of my fingers graze the skin directly under his collarbone.

I trace the dark lines of his tattoos and glance up at him for an explanation of where they came from.

My heart races each time his husky deep voice drifts down over me.

“Plainville.” I outline the head of the dragon and the fire that is escaping from its open roaring mouth. “I was sixteen, I felt weak and defenceless. I got it right before they put me away. I wanted to get something that would give me courage.”

“And did it?”

He smiled in a sad way and shook his head “no”.

My hand glided down to his ribs and over several thick dark bands with Chinese writing that wrapped around his back.

I looked up at him again.

“Tampa, I was twenty one broke missing my family, lonely, scared. I traded the tattoo for a engine job…and so began my glamorous career as a mechanic.”

“What does the writing mean?”

He places his hand over mine and looks down at the ground.

“Strength, honor and truth. That’s what he told me anyway. He was an old man in need of a working car and I was a naïve boy so who knows.”

Spotting a symbol over his the left indent of his hip I whisper again.

“And this one? What does this stand for?”

He hesitates for a moment and looks down at me. His expression is full of regret and sorrow.

“Forgiveness.”

“Who do you need to forgive Zan?”

Zan sat next to me on the bed and hung his head low.

“I am the one who needs to be forgiven…for the life I took … that man …that night …so I would never forget and maybe one day I would find peace with what happened.”

“And have you Zan? Have you found your peace?”

He turns towards me and rests his cheek to mine; his mouth is close to my ear. I can hear each breath he takes as his lips caress my skin.

“There are moments…when I’m with you… I feel …different …calm. You give me peace Liz.”

I stand in front of him ready to give him my heart, no longer afraid. I know what love is now, and it’s sitting right in front of me.

Taking a deep breath I lift by sweater up over my head and slowly left it fall to the floor.

I then finish what Zan started and remove my jeans and socks.

Feeling shy I cross my arms in front of me only to have Zan gently move them back to my sides.

“Please don’t hide from me. I want to see you …I need to see you.”

I stand there before him shaking as he unclasps my bra and lets it fall to the floor.

My long hair almost covers my breasts, for this I’m grateful for remembering how Max always told me how small they were.

Zan shamelessly stares at them …lips parted breathing heavy…I can feel how much he wants me.

Carefully he pushes aside my hair and skims his fingers over both breasts circling my hard aching peaks.

I gasp with pleasure as he rolls my nipples between his fingers.

“So beautiful.”

Releasing me he pulls me closer between his legs and rests his cheek against my stomach.

Each hot breath he takes blows lightly against my clit sending delicious chills all over my body.

“Liz I want to take this slow…I really do … but….I don’t know if I can. It feels like I’ve wanted you for so long. I don’t know if I can control myself.”

My head falls back as his hands dip underneath my panties and grasps my ass.

I can wait no longer.

Taking his head in my hands I rasp my urgent request.

“Please Zan …take me… take me now.”

As soon as the words leave my swollen lips I hear the rip of the cotton and feel the material fall from my body.

Holding my cheeks tight he buries his mouth between my thighs. Parting my lower lips he plunges his tongue deep inside me.

“Zan!”

My hands come down hard on his shoulders as my knees begin to buckle.

He dips his tongue inside several more times before flicking it quickly against my sensitive throbbing clit.

My head falls forward as he sucks my nub into his mouth and hums.

“So sweet…so damn sweet Liz, you taste like honey.”

“Oh god!”

My entire body shudders widely from the first of what promises to be many orgasms that afternoon.

Quickly he lifts me in his arms and lays me down on the bed. His golden eyes wander over every part of my body as he settles in between my legs parting them wide with his knee.

I instantly wrap my legs around his waist, which causes the tip of his cock to enter me.

He rests his forehead to mine and searches my face for any hesitation.

“Please.” I mouth the word pleading with him.

Zan lifts his upper body up in the air and gently grasps my hip and raises it high hooking it over his ass.

I watch as the muscles in his arms and chest flex and tremble as he slowly inches inside me.

Both our mouths fall open as a wave of intense pleasure courses through us.

Swallowing hard I can tell he is so afraid of hurting me.

My strangled moan relieves him of his worries as I beg him for more.

“Zan please… I-I need…more.”

His expression changes from concern to hunger as he lowers his head and sucks my nipple into his mouth and begins a steady rhythm plunging each time harder and deeper than the last.

My cries of pleasure bounce off the walls, within seconds I am writhing and trembling underneath him.

My eyes begin to drift shut until I hear his deep urgent voice.

“No please …keep your eyes open Liz. Look at me …look at me.”

Slowly he grazes his hand down the side of my breast and over my stomach.

He is pounding into me with hard deliberate strokes that cause me to moan every time he enters me.

With a flick of his thumb across my clit I yell out his name. A few more strokes and I watch as his face tenses then collapse into my neck.

For several seconds we just lay there, arms and legs tangled together, hearts pounding frantically as one, breathless and sweaty holding each other tight.

I don’t want to move. I want to stay moulded to him forever safe in his arms.

I close my eyes and try to savour every inch of him. The warmth of his body, the scent of his skin, the sound of his uneven shaky breath against my neck.

I bite my lip as I feel him begin to move. What happens now? I am so used to Max rolling off of me and leaving the room. I am unprepared lost as to what to do or say.

My eyes are teary not from sadness but from overwhelming joy.

“Liz?”

I smile washing his concern away.

“I’m ok…just happy.”

He nods as he kisses my cheek and presses his lips to my ear whispering softly.

“I love you.”

Monica: you have no idea how much I miss you, very hard couple of weeks. love you so much. thanks so much for your amazing fb. hope you are well.
angelina: thank you so much for you awesome fb. so happy you liked it. hope you are having a great summer.
Carolyn: Omg I watch the tattooist all the time too! that damn voice! kills me!! thank you once again for your amazing fb and constant support. sometimes we just write what we know.
Scorpio 6:x2 "oh my lamb" I just love that response! hope so much you like this update, its here because of you thank you!
destiny: humbled that you are here reading my stories...miss you too! can't wait to get caught up with your fics!! miss them so much! thank you so much for your fb
garcia88: Kris I loved that you thought it was perfect, means so much to me. thank you so much
darkmoon: once again I am blown away by your fb, can't believe you feel this way about me.. your the genius thank you so so much..love you!!
Detzer84: can't believe you went back and read this from the beginning,, wow thank you so so much
crazedearthgirl: wow blown away by your fb... thank you so much
Jan: oh my jan... there are no words for how much Ive missed you.. please know I think of you all the time. hope you are well. thank you for the once again hysterical amazing fb
roswellian love: omg you totally got the entire meaning for that update.. you just made my day.. thank you so so much.
Egyptian_Kiss: wow hearing that its perfect from you means so much, thank you!!
roswell3053: So happy you liked that update. praying that you'll enjoy this one.. thanks so much
Black Bird: I loved the video Sarah~!! thank you so much!!!
Pinky Banana: My jaw dropped when I read your fb... I don't even know what to say...I am truly humbled that you feel that way... you have no idea how much your words meant to me.. thank you so so much.



I just have to say that I would not be here if not for scorpio 6, Andrea... I am here to save your kids sweetie omg I just loved your reply thank you so much for wanting more of this... I was having a hard time finding the motivation to write again and you really helped.. thank you so much!


This is dedicated to my grandma Helen. Today is her birthday. Although she is in heaven now I know that she would have loved Zan and the story of Roswell. she had crushes on movie stars all the time, I know she would've loved Jason.
She was a beautiful passionate woman with a huge heart. I was so lucky to have her in my life.
There are no words for how much I miss her.
I love you Meme Happy Birthday








Chapter 10.






Staring up at the ceiling I let the words float over me like a feather falling from the sky.

“I love you.”

In all the times I’ve heard these words never did they feel as real... as true as they did that afternoon.

In the past these words were always tied to conditions, of course they were never spoken but never the less clearly understood.

‘I love you, if you become what I want, what I think you should be.’

These words always made me feel worse when Max said them, because deep in my heart I knew I could never live up to what he wanted, I knew I would never be good enough for him.

He said them not out of love but out of warning, I love you as long as you be act are exactly what I think you should be. This was something that I knew I could never achieve, and in turn would at any moment I would have that love pulled away.

It was like living with a time bomb attached to you. I could almost hear the ticking of the clock counting down to the moment when I screwed up and was punished.

This time these words were different.

When he whispered those words to me I felt as if I was flying free released from unreachable expectations.

I felt beautiful and safe, these were more then just words they were solid concrete proof that I was loved not for what someone thought I should be but for exactly who I was.

Instead of feeling small and insignificant I felt warm and whole.

Just as Zan had found his peace in me I had found my peace in him.

Seeing the tears run down the sides of my face Zan moves so he is staring into my watery eyes.

Slightly embarrassed I give him a small smile and wipe the moisture from my face.

“It’s ok... you don’t have to say it back. You don’t have to say anything.”

A stunned look over comes my expression realizing that he doesn’t get that I feel the same.

My eyes gaze down at his full lips as my fingers graze his strong jaw. I move my feet sliding them up and down his calves melting in the sensation that we are still linked together.

Slowly I rise to meet his caramel colored stare that is encased in his majestic long dark eyelashes.

He is simply breathtaking.

“I love you Zan-

His eyes grow with concern as he cuts me off.

“Liz I know what I’ve done in my past, and I know I’m not exactly the man that you imagined yourself with. I know I’m just a mechanic and you’re used to the finer things -

Just as quickly I raise my fingers up to his mouth and kiss him gently.

“I don’t care about your past Zan. Everything that happened to you made you the man you are now; if anything I admired you for having the courage to over come such insurmountable obstacles, I don’t know if I would’ve been strong enough to have gone threw so much and come out on the other side with just grace.”

"You're amazing Zan."

He looks just as shocked by my feelings as he cups my cheek in his big hand.

“But I will never be able to give you the kind of life you are used to.”

Looking around the room I shake my head amazed that he would think that any of this means anything to me.

“Zan this house is a tomb, a prison where I have had everything taken away from me. None of these things are mine and they mean nothing to me. All I’ve ever wanted was to be with someone who loves me for exactly who I am and to love that person back.”

“Liz-

“No, you have to understand I have never felt the way I feel when I’m with you, I wouldn’t trade that for all the money in the world.”

As the words fall from my lips I can see his body begin to shake, his eyes are growing dark with desire as his breath becomes heavy and harsh against my heated skin.

Before I can get my next sentence out he roughly seizes my lips and thrusts his tongue hungrily inside my mouth.

I let out a muffled groan as he slams inside me with all the passion in the world.

A shiver runs threw me as he breaks from my mouth and grasps my hips.

Staring down at me with a fiery intensity I have never experienced before he pounds into me.

My hands grip his long dark hair as he lavashes my breast with his hot mouth. I cry out as his hand leaves my hip and brushes over my clit.

Reaching above my head I grab the headboard tightly as my screams echo off the walls of the bedroom.

With every delicious stroke I hear him grunt against my sweaty skin that is burning from his touch.

Panting heavily he suddenly slows down and catches my eyes.

Everything around him is blurred as I look breathlessly up at him.

His husky deep voice drives my harder towards my bliss as he continues to thrust inside.

Zan is shaking now as the end approaches, my eyes dance off his glistening muscles as they tense contracting above me.

“Come away with me.”

I can barely make out the words as I continue to watch his hard smooth chest rise and fall over me.

Suddenly I begin to come hard.

Zan drives deep inside me feeling it too and repeats the words threw gritted teeth.

“Please Liz …come away with me.”

Collapsing against the pillow I try hard to catch my breath as he rests his head on my breast.

Expecting him to pull away he does the opposite and wraps his strong arms tightly around me and draws me tight against him.

For a few precious moments all I can hear is his heavy deep breath as his heart pounds frantically against me.

Then as if I was pulled out of a deep beautiful dream I hear a car pull into the driveway.

Zan hearing it too raises his head as we both listen intently.

Quickly I whisper to him trying to calm the both of us. “It has to be the mailman, Max never comes home this early.”

Feeling the blood drain from my face I hear the doorknob rattling.

Racing to the window my worst fear is realized as I look down to see Max frustrated and confused by the bolt being in the locked position, something that I never did.

Looking around for his truck I whisper to Zan. “Where did you park?”

Standing behind me Zan seems strangely calm as he gazes down at my husband.

“Up the street, I know he doesn’t know I’m here …but he will.”

Petrified I turn to see Zan pull his tee shirt over his head and reach for his jeans.

Pulling the sheet around my body I grab him by the arms as I desperately try to get his attention.

“No! Zan you have to go out the back door, I’ll stall him. You have to get out of here!”

With a deadly serious expression Zan’s voice is firm and full of resolve.

“We trashed the house Liz, there is no way in hell I’m leaving you here with him.”

My safety is the last thing on my mind as I take his hand and pull him down the stairs.

Max is now yelling my name and pounding on the door, I can see Zan’s jaw clench with rage as he curls his fists and stares at the direction of his voice.

Pleading with everything I have I beg for Zan to leave. I know what Max is capable of and I was terrified.

To know that his wife had been unfaithful would be enough to send him over the edge, to know that it happened in his house would be the ultimate blow to his ego.

There would be hell to pay.

I try to physically push Zan towards the backdoor with some success until Max begins screaming and beating the door furiously.

“God damn it Liz! Open the fucking door!”

Cradling my face in his hands he lovingly looked down at me.

“I told you before I’m never going to let him hurt you again.”

I slowly shake my head 'no' as I feel his hands slide down my cheeks.

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR LIZ!”

“You’re not alone in this anymore Liz and its time he understood that.”