Roswell Fanatics

Title: A Multitude of Casualties
Author: RoswellChic4Ever AKA Holli
Summary: The Royal Four are on Antar, the humans are on Earth, and life has moved on for everyone, until circumstances bring them all back together for one last fight.
Rating: Mature at most… Anything is game for this fic. For all I know, there will be character death. Just a forewarning. I haven’t completely decided yet.
Disclaimer: Roswell and any affiliations with characters, places, names, any lines from episodes used, etc belong to some higher power… I am just a lowly fan-fiction writer. Also most of my chapter titles are titles of songs or something of the sort. Please don’t sue.
Author’s Notes: It’s been awhile…
I ran, fists clenched, arms pumping, lungs bursting. I ran as fast as I could, as fast as my legs would carry me. The adrenaline coursing through my body was the only thing that kept me going, as my legs should have given out a long time ago. I ignored the pain, the screaming from my muscles to stop, and kept running. My life depended on it. All of our lives depended on it.

I’d never been in the middle of anything important. Always on the outside. I was never the hero, always the sidekick, and at times it had been something that bothered me. Today however, I was wishing that it had been me on the outside, me waiting for the outcome instead of being the only hope.

I could remember only one other time in my life when I had run this fast, when lives depended on me. I was too late that day. I couldn’t be too late this time. If I failed here today, we were all going to die, and it would be no one’s fault but my own.



Walking through the streets of New York was still an amazing experience to me, even though I’d been doing it multiple times a day for the past six years. Walking the streets of Roswell, you were sure to run into at least three or four people that you knew, people who wanted to know how you were, what you’d been doing with your life and then drone on about their lives, as if anyone cared. There was also the horrible chance that someone would mention the four juniors that had disappeared years ago, and remember that I had been friends with them, and then ask if I’d heard anything, and how I was holding up.

Yes, escaping Roswell was perhaps the best choice I’d ever made in my short twenty-three years of life. Walking the streets of New York was a completely different experience. It was a rarity to run into anyone you knew, especially when you were like me and kept to yourself and didn’t know that many people to begin with. Everyone in New York was also way too caught up in their own life to worry about anyone else. Walking with the hundreds and thousands of people on the streets of New York was similar to disappearing, something I, myself, ached to do since that fateful day six years ago.

I sighed and pushed the memories of that day out of my mind as it was not something I allowed myself to think about. In fact, I’d done a pretty good job of blocking out the two years before that day as well, imagining my life only as it had been “Before the Aliens”, or BA as I referred to it among my close friends who understood why it was a time that was never spoken of.

I let myself into my studio apartment, determined to stop thinking of the past. I was greeted by Cat, my companion, purring eagerly as I scooped her into my arms. I’d been wandering back alleys around my apartment building when I first moved to the city when I saw a small grey kitten rummaging through the alley for food. A stray kitten and my heart immediately broke. I had to take her in, it was fitting in a way, as taking in strays seemed to be what I did. Stray kittens without a family, stray people with a family. I couldn’t pick a name, so she stayed Cat. It was very, “Holly Golightly” of me.

“Hi Cat.” I said, nuzzling my face into her fur. I grabbed her food and poured some in her bowl, then set her down so that she could eat. She ran her body against my leg and then began eating.

While cat was eating I jumped in the shower, eager to get the stench of New York city sewers off of me. The water beating against my back and running down my face felt good, and I let my mind go blank.

After my shower I sat down and listened to my messages. One from Mom, just checking in. I called her back and we chatted for a while. She told me what she and Jim had planned for their fifth wedding anniversary and asked me if I’d be willing to come home for the party that Kyle and his girlfriend were throwing for them. I told her I’d try. Going home to Roswell, even to visit, wasn’t something I ever looked forward too. Too many memories that I had spent too long burying.

After our phone call I pulled out my guitar and tried writing a song, like I did every night, but as usual, I got distracted and failed miserably. Writing songs was something that I could no longer do.
After my failed attempt at being a musician, Cat and I watched some television before falling asleep, which was pretty much what happened every night. I never said life in New York was exciting, and it definitely wasn’t home, it was merely my escape.

* * *

The next day began like most of my days in New York. I went to work, serving coffee at a local Starbucks. I never intended it to be my career, when I’d first come to New York I had aspirations to make music and become famous, but it hadn’t quite worked out that way, and I loved my job and the people that I worked with. I had made a few friends that I spent some time with, but none of them close enough that I had to divulge any information I didn’t feel comfortable divulging.

When I got home I fed Cat like normal and then sat down to watch television, completely ignoring my answering machine. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone, so I let the little red light flash indicating that I had messages.

I flipped through a magazine as I vaguely listened to the evening news, waiting for the new episode of Grey’s Anatomy to be on. I never watched the news, it was so depressing, always talk of wars over in the Middle East and how everyone was needing a financial bailout and it bored me to tears, I never was one up on current events, pop culture was more my thing.

A news story caught my attention however and I turned the TV up and leaned forward on my bed, making sure I caught every word.

“Locals claim to have seen an unidentified flying object above Roswell, New Mexico early this morning, before then seeing a large explosion in the desert.” The news anchor said. I shook my head in disbelief. There was no way. There had to be another explanation.

“Roswell is of course infamously known for the alleged 1947 crash that many people still believe was alien.” I laughed to myself, how right those people are, but the government will never tell them that.

“Federal and local officials claim that the object was a military stealth fighter that they had been testing, but local citizens seem to be weary to trust the government. Let’s go to our local anchor Pam Troy who’s in Roswell right now. Pam…”

The scene shifted to Roswell’s very own Pam Troy, the bane of Liz and I’s existence in middle school and early high school, before the FBI and enemy aliens seemed to be more threatening than a stuck up blonde cheerleader.

“Thanks Katie. I’m standing at the edge the Roswell city limits where early this morning an alleged military stealth fighter crashed. As you can see, police officials have this area completely blocked off. No one is able to get near the crash site, but we’ve been assured that no one has been harmed from what they can tell.”
I bit my bottom lip as I continued to listen to the report. Something was not adding up in my mind, but I was trying to ignore it. It was possible that it was just a military jet, nothing to be suspicious of, but my intuition was telling me another story.

“With me I have Sherriff Jim Valenti. Sherriff, tell us what happened this morning here in the small town of Roswell?”

I smiled as my step dad came into focus and I felt my heart break a little. I did miss my family.

“As we’ve been told and we’ve told you, it was a military stealth fighter that crashed, there is absolutely no reason to believe that it’s anything other than that. The possibility that aliens crashed here is absurd.”
I laughed again. He knows all too well how absurd it’s not.

“Thank you Sherriff.” The camera focused back in on Pam. “As you know, in 1947, there was a military crash in this area as well, and then just six years ago, some citizens claim to have seen something spin up to the sky from out in the desert. Whether or not it was a UFO, we may never know, but there’s something strange about Roswell, New Mexico. Back to you Katie…”

“In other news…” I turned the TV back down and collapsed on my bed, staring at the ceiling. It had to be a coincidence… right?

The phone rang, startling me and I jumped up, grabbing it quickly. “Hello.” I said.

“Why didn’t you call me back?” An angry Liz shouted into the phone. “I’ve left you five messages!” She exclaimed.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t check my messages.” I explained.

“Did you watch the news?” She asked.

“Yeah, what is that all about?”

“Maria…” Liz said slowly. I heard her exhale.

“Liz, what’s going on?”

“Maria…” She said again. Then the two words I’d been waiting to hear for six years fell out of her mouth and I felt the blood rush to my head. “They’re back.”

"They're back." Liz said, and the phone slipped from my hand and landed right on Cat, who hissed, arched her back, and jumped off my lap running for cover.

"Maria…" I heard after a few seconds, minutes, or perhaps hours, to be honest I really wasn't sure how long had passed, all that I heard was "they're back" over and over again in my head. "MARIA!"

I pressed the phone back to my ear and let out a breath I hadn't even known I'd been holding. "I'm here." I said, my voice, hoarse, barely a whisper. "How do you know it's them?"

"Max came to find me." She whispered. "Look, get here as soon as possible ok."

"Why?" I demanded, feeling a little frustrated that the damn aliens had been back on the planet for less than twenty four hours and I was already being bossed around.

"Maria…" Liz started, sounded agitated. "Trust me. It's serious."

I sighed. I would have gone back anyway. Six years and a galaxy between us hadn't changed anything for me. "I'm on the next flight."

"I'll see you soon." She said, and then hung up the phone.

* * *

The next twenty four hours seemed to pass in a blur. I immediately packed what I needed and packed up Cat, as I wasn't sure how long I would be in Roswell and I didn't want to leave Cat alone for too long.

I rushed to JFK airport and booked the first flight that would get me to Roswell. I ended up travelling from New York to Chicago, Chicago to Atlanta, and then finally Atlanta to Albuquerque, but I guess that's what you get for booking your flight at the last minute. I took a cab from Albuquerque to Roswell.

Throughout the entire travelling process, I couldn't sleep or get my mind to calm down in the least. All I could think of was that day, six years ago… the day that changed my life forever.

* * *

I walked into my bedroom, my heart breaking and bursting with happiness all at the same time, if that was possible. I had just had the most amazing night with Michael Guerin, we had finally slept together, and it had been amazing, everything I'd dreamed it would be and more, and he was amazing. He truly loved me and he showed me that, and I had never been happier.

Our happy moment was killed by the fact that Michael was leaving. Tess was pregnant and had to go back to Antar, their home planet, and Max, Michael, and Isabel were leaving with her. This was it, their one shot at going home. How could I stand in the way of that?

"I can't believe this is happening. I… I just can't believe it's possible." I say, finding Liz laying on my bed. I collapse next to her, not sure how long I can hold it together.

"Umm Hmm…" Is all Liz can manage to say. I can't imagine how she's feeling at this moment, knowing that the man she believed to be her soul mate had impregnated another woman. Poor Liz.

"Larek." I suddenly hear. I look at Liz, unsure that I heard right, but by the look on her face, I can tell I did. "He says his name is Larek and he's an alien. Who is Larek?"

"My Mom…" I say to Liz. What is she doing up? It's the middle of the night. And why is she talking about Larek? Tess mind warped her to forget that whole incident.

"And he's taken over this whole place. And he's holding us hostage here with a gun. He's pointing a gun at my daughter. He threatened my daughter."

Liz and I bolt into the kitchen. "Mom, mom! What's wrong?" I ask her urgently.

She shakes her head lightly like she's breaking out of a trance and looks at me with a confused look. "Maria! What are you doing up, it's the middle of the night. And Liz? What are you still doing here?"

My mom turns back to the dishes and begins tapping and I'm reminded of something. Kyle, tapping at the Crashdown, Alex tapping his guitar the night he died. I quickly look at Liz, she's remembering the same thing.

"It's Tess! Tess mind warped Alex!" She says to me.

"What?" I ask.

"And Kyle!" And then it makes sense. "Look we've got to go now!"

Liz and I run from the house, completely forgetting my mother doing the dishes. We jump in the Jetta and take off toward the Valenti house as fast as we can. As I drive, Liz fills me in on her theory. It makes perfect sense. Tess mind warped Alex to decode the book. She mind warped my mom at the UFO center the night Brody had held us hostage and she must have mind warped Kyle too.

"No. There's no way I've been mind warped. I'd remember it." Kyle tells us when we finally reach his house.

"Kyle," I say, wanting to slap him on the head for his stupidity, "that's the whole point of being mind warped. You don't know it's happening to you."

Kyle shrugs. "So what, I'm supposed to look around the room and then what?"

"I don't know." Liz tells him. "See if you have an unusual response to anything."

Kyle started looking around the room, as he did he started tapping his fingers on the dresser.

"Liz…" I say quietly.

"Sorry, nothing." Kyle tells us.

"Kyle, it could be really close, so keep looking, keep trying." Liz says.

All of a sudden Kyle's face went blank and it's like he's hypnotized. He stayed that way for several seconds while I silently freaked out on the inside.

"I carried his body. She made me think it was luggage." He says, something sad in his voice. I feel a lump well into my throat, but I swallow hard, pushing it down. "She killed him. Tess killed Alex."

And we are back in the Jetta in no time. We headed for the pod chamber, just praying that we could make it in time.

"There's the mile marker!" Liz tells me. "Kyle, how much further?"

"It's just up ahead." I see the rock that the pod chamber is held in and I slam on the brakes, the Jetta coming to an unhealthy stop, dust blowing up everywhere.

We run up the rocks as fast as we can, looking for the opening that even if we find, none of us can open.

"Wait it's right here! Hey guys open up!" Liz screams.

I remember standing there screaming and pounding on that rock until my throat was sore and my hands and arms were bleeding. It was useless. No one could hear us, and no one was coming back.

We never gave up, we pounding and screamed until the Granolith flew up into the air, rocks flying everywhere. Kyle grabbed both Liz and I and forced us to the bottom, helping us find shelter so that we wouldn't get hurt.

We stayed there for a long time, almost the whole day, none of us speaking a word, but trying to deal with what had happened in our minds. Tess had killed Alex, we had figured it out too late, and she was probably going to kill Max, Michael, and Isabel. Our friends, our lovers, our family was dead. And we were to blame. We couldn't save them. It was a guilt that had plagued all of us for the past six years. It was why we never spoke of that day, why we never even thought of that day… until now.

"Ma'am…" The cab driver looked back at me, breaking me from my thoughts. "you said the CrashDown Café right?" He asked.

"Yeah."

I stood in front of the CrashDown for several minutes, just staring at the place that held most of my memories. I thought about all the nights Liz and I would stay late after close, talking about how cute she thought Max Evans was, and what a jerk his best friend Michael Guerin seemed to be. The nights that Alex would join us, divulging how in love he was with Isabel. Yes, those aliens consumed our lives long before they were even in them.

I shifted my weight from foot to foot, trying to think of ways to get out of going inside. As long as I had waited for this day, I still wasn't sure how to handle it, because the truth was, I never expected this day to come. I was not prepared for this at all.

"You going to go in or just stand out here all day staring at the place?" Came a voice from behind me.

I didn't have to turn around to know who that voice belonged to. I'd know it anywhere, whether I was dead or alive. It was the voice I'd been dreaming of every night for six years.

"I haven't decided yet." I said, trying to keep my cool, not sure how he would react to me, but knowing that my feelings were just as strong as they'd been when he left, and if I hadn't been sure of that before, I definitely was after hearing his voice. My heart was racing, my palms sweating, and I was having a hard time breathing.

"I think you should go in." He said, still standing behind me. I was afraid to turn around, not really sure if I could believe that he was really here. I was hearing his voice so clearly, but for all I knew I was going crazy. I think I was really afraid that if I turned around and he wasn't there, my heart wouldn't be able to handle it.

"What if it's not what I expected?" I asked him.

"Nothing's what we expect… not really."

"I've spent too long burying this." I told him. "Six years too long. I don't know if I'm ready to dig it all up again."

"Me too." He sighed. "Six years, three months, and twelve days of burying all of it. Not to mention a trip across the galaxy." We both stood in silence for several seconds before he spoke up again. "I missed you, Maria." He admitted.

"I missed you too." I said, and turned around to lay my eyes upon Michael Guerin for the first time in six years.

It was strange how just looking at Michael could still leave me breathless. The six years and whatever he’d dealt with on Antar had aged him physically as well as emotionally. He had a few more lines on his face, very subtle that most people would probably not notice, but I noticed because I’d spent hours upon hours studying that face so long ago. Above his right eye there was a scar that went up to the middle of his forehead and another one, smaller, on his lower left cheek. Michael had never been someone that looked soft and cuddly, but somehow he looked harder, tougher, like he’d seen things that he wasn’t ready to deal with, but he was still Michael.

His hair was shorter, the shortest I’d ever seen Michael’s hair. It was very clean looking, very military looking. He resembled a soldier, which was what he was on Antar, so it made sense. In his eyes I caught the hint of something sad, but they were still soft and inviting, beautiful, and I got lost in them the moment I looked at him.
We stood there just taking each other in for several minutes, neither one of us wanting to move, to ruin the moment. I was still afraid that he’d disappear, that this whole thing was a dream, that I was going to wake up any minute and he’d be gone.

“Is it really you?” I finally asked, my voice soft, my confidence wavering.

He nodded, taking a step closer. I reached out my hand slowly, my fingertips just barely brushing across his chest. “It’s me.”

He pressed the palm of his hand against my cheek and I closed my eyes. Every wall, every defense that I’d ever built crumbled to the ground the minute his skin touched mine. I was putty in his hands, just like I’d always been, I’d just been too proud to ever admit it.

I could have stood there looking at Michael’s face, getting lost in his eyes for the rest of my life, in fact, it was what I preferred to do with the rest of my life, however our moment was interrupted by a throat being cleared very purposefully, very agitated.

“I hate to interrupt your reunion, but we have more important things to deal with right now.”
Tess.

I pushed away from Michael, needing to see her for myself. She stood behind us, hands on her hips, condescending look on her face. Did they not know? Did they not know what she’d done? She killed Alex. She was the reason that Michael, Max, and Isabel had been gone for six years. She was the reason my life had been ruined, that all of our lives had been ruined. I was going to kill her.

“What the hell is she doing here?” I yelled, wanting to lunge at her, but holding back, knowing Tess could kill me with the snap of her finger.

“Not here, Maria.” He told me firmly.

I looked at him angrily. “Do you know what she did?”

“Maria, please. You’re making a scene.” Tess snapped. She had some nerve.

“Well you killed Alex, my best friend. I’m kind of okay with making a scene about it.”

Michael grabbed me by the arm and began to pull me into the CrashDown. “Keep your voice down.” He demanded. “I’ll explain everything inside.” It was so Michael of him, thinking he could just order me around. I wasn’t having it.

“Don’t touch me!” I yanked my arm from Michael’s grip and stomped inside the CrashDown, looking over my shoulder every few seconds, glaring at Michael, and checking to make sure Tess wasn’t going to stab me from behind. At this point, I put nothing past her.

When I walked into the CrashDown, I immediately saw Liz standing by the door to the back room, arms wrapped around herself. She didn’t look like she was handling this very well. Her hair was pulled back into a messy bun and her eyes had dark circles under them, indicating that she was extremely tired.

After Max left, Liz had fallen into a deep depression, which was extremely unlike Liz. She had a hard time pulling herself out of it, and we were all really worried about her for a long time. For the first semester of our senior year, Liz had been sent to an all girl’s boarding school in Vermont. By Christmas she had started to become Liz again, but she was never truly the same, not really.

“Liz!” I cried, wrapping my arms around my best friend. “How are you?” I asked, knowing that this had to be taking a major toll on her. Not only were the aliens back, which was enough drama for all of us for the rest of our lives, but Max had come back with Tess, the girl he’d slept with who also killed our other best friend. This was a bad situation.

“I’m okay. How are you?” She asked.

“I’m fine. Where are Max and Isabel? Is Kyle coming?”

She nodded. “Everyone is upstairs. We’ve been waiting for you.”

“Are we ready now?” Tess asked as her and Michael approached us.

“Yeah.” Liz said. “We’re ready.” She pushed open the door to the back room, letting Michael and Tess pass us. I looped my arm through hers and we followed them upstairs.

“What is she doing here?” I hissed in Liz’s ear as we walked up the stairs.

“You’re about to find out.” Liz told me.

“What do you know?”

“Not much more than you to be honest.” She said. “They said they’d explain when we were all together.”

“Why are you acting so nonchalant about this?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Well you’re walking up the stairs so casually, so calm, like we aren’t walking behind a murdering, home-wrecking, bitch.”

“I can hear you.” Tess snapped from in front of us.

“It’s not like it’s a secret.” I said, rolling my eyes. It felt a little juvenile, but the whole situation was making me feel like I was seventeen again.

“Maria, it’s good to see you.” Isabel was the first person I saw upon entering the apartment, as she was emerging from the living room. She looked about as bad as I’d
ever seen Isabel look. Her hair was also shorter all one length that framed her face, and it was darker, I hated it. She didn’t look like Isabel to me. She’d also gotten extremely thin, too thin. She hugged me briefly, and I was afraid I would break her.

“Everyone’s in here.” Isabel told us, nodding towards the living room.

Upon entering I glanced around the room, looking for Kyle, happy to see him standing with his Father, leaning against the wall.

“Maria!” Jim called, waving me over to them. I hugged my step-father and step-brother, glad to see them. It had been too long.

I looked around again and saw Max and I almost couldn’t believe it was him. I’d never in my life seen anyone look as bad as Max did. Compared to Max, Liz and Isabel looked like healthy, happy, well rested individuals about to be in a beauty pageant.

Max’s hair had gotten longer and was extremely shaggy and he was unshaven, looking very rugged. It would have been a good look for him if he hadn’t looked like he was going to drop over and die at any minute. There were circles under his eyes that were so dark, it looked like bruises from being punched in his sunken-in face. He’d lost weight, just like Isabel. He looked broken and sad, nothing like the Max Evans I remembered. Antar had aged Max in a completely different way than it had aged Michael.

“Momma!” A small voice cried, and I watched as a little ball of energy ran through the room.

The little boy that clung to Tess was the spitting image of Max. He had dark brown hair, deep soulful eyes, if it was possible to have soulful eyes at six, and Max’s slightly larger than normal ears. I could see little of Tess in him except that his hair was slightly curly.

The sight of Max when I first looked at him was nothing compared to how he looked while Tess held their son. He hovered over them, watching their every move, or rather
watching Tess’s every move, with a terrified look on his face. I’d never seen anyone look so distraught, unhealthy, and scared at the same time. It heartbreaking.

I now knew exactly why Tess was here.

Of course Max wouldn’t be able to destroy the mother of his child, not when it would then destroy his child. That was just Max, and because of it, Max was destroying himself.

“Max, let’s get this show on the road.” Michael said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah. Everyone should probably have a seat.” Max said, not looking away from Tess or his son. “Isabel.”

Isabel was immediately at Max’s side, reaching down for the little boy. “Come on Zan.” Zan hugged his mother quickly and then followed Isabel into Liz’s room.

“He’s my son, Max.” Tess told him, glaring.

“Sit down Tess.” He ordered, authority in his voice, but no expression on his face.

“Maria.” Max said, noticing I had arrived. “It’s nice to see you.”

“You too, Max.” I said. He had a seat and looked down at the floor, avoiding eye contact with everyone. Especially Liz.

I sat down next to Liz and grabbed her hand. This couldn’t be easy for her. I had a feeling she was feeling more horrible than any of the rest of us, aside from Max, who was maybe feeling more horrible than anyone else on the planet, at least that’s how he looked.

“So what’s going on, Max?” Kyle asked as Isabel rejoined the group.

Max looked up at all of us with his sad eyes. “Our war is coming to Earth.” He explained. “And you four are in serious danger.”

“Our war is coming to Earth.” Max told us. “And you four are in serious danger.” He looked around at each of us, an apologetic look in his eyes. “I’m so sorry. I hate to drag any of you into this; we’ve put you through enough already,” He glanced at Tess. “But I don’t have a choice.”

“What does that mean?” Liz asked.

Max was very careful not to make eye contact with Liz as he looked around the room. It was strange, to see how he carefully avoided looking at her, normally we were all annoyed because he wouldn’t stop looking at her. “Because of the wars that have been going on for hundreds of years on our planet, it’s become unlivable. Antarians have been working on a way to survive here on Earth, and they’ve finally found it.”

“So Earth is about to be infested with illegal aliens?” Jim asked.

Isabel nodded. “Yes. A lot of them.”

“Wonder how immigration deals with that.” Kyle said quietly.

“Really, Kyle? Really?” Liz snapped, rolling her eyes. I could tell that the stress was getting to her.

“What?” He asked innocently. “I was just saying.”

She shook her head, extremely annoyed, and looked back towards Max. “So what puts us in more danger than everyone else?” Liz asked.

Max sighed, pausing for a moment, like he was gathering his thoughts. He looked at Isabel and Michael briefly before continuing. “Khivar knows that we were all connected. We’re afraid he’ll target you four first to get to us.”

“Max…” Michael started, but Max looked at him, a look of authority in his eyes, and Michael closed his mouth. It was strange to see Michael fall in line behind Max.

“So what’s the crazy bitch doing here?” I nodded my head towards Tess. She rolled her eyes.

“She’s Zan’s mother.” Max whispered.

“She killed Alex.” Kyle snapped.

“We didn’t know about Tess murdering Alex until just recently.” Isabel told us. “We’re still trying to decide what to do.”

“Oh okay.” I snickered. “Well let’s hope she doesn’t off any of the rest of us while you’re taking your precious time deciding what to do.”

“Maria…” Max started, but I cut him off. I had reached my limit. I was pissed.

“No Max. After everything you’ve all put us through, you come back here, bringing your alien war and putting us right in the middle of it. And then you bring Tess, Tess of all people, into Liz’s house!” I cried. “Do any of you care about us at all? Because you’ve done nothing but hurt us and put all of us in danger from day one.”

“I don’t remember any of us asking you to get involved!” Michael snapped at me.

“Max involved Liz the minute he saved her life!” I told him.

“Yeah, well, I guess he should have just let her die then.”

“Michael!” Isabel gasped.

“Michael, that’s enough.” Max yelled. He actually yelled. He then turned back towards Liz and I. “I’m sorry. I wish I hadn’t dragged you into all of this. I would give anything for you four to be safe right now.” He told us. “But I don’t for a second regret saving Liz’s life that day.” He sighed. “I never have and I never will.” He added quietly.
“So how do we know Tess isn’t mindwarping us right now?” Kyle asked quietly.

“While on Antar, we learned that we have more abilities than we thought. For instance, by taking my rightful place as the King of Antar, no Antarian can disobey a direct order from me.” Max explained. “Tess can’t use her powers unless I give her a direct order too, because I’ve forbid her.” Max said “I forbid her from hurting you, from touching you. She can’t touch any of you. She can’t hurt you.”

“Really?” Liz asked skeptically.

“Let me show you.” Max looked at Tess and she glared at Max. He said nothing, just looked at her, but it was a frightening look that would have made anyone do what he
wanted. He had embraced the fact that he was King, and it seemed that he wasn’t making life easy for Tess by any means.

We all watched anxiously as Tess stood up begrudgingly and walked over to Jim. She reached her hand out to touch him, and about a half an inch away from his skin, her hand stopped. It wasn’t noticeable unless you were paying close attention, but it seemed as though it bounced back a bit, as though it had hit a force field. She tried several times, but the same thing happened every time. Her hand bounced away from Jim.

I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. “Fine, she can’t hurt us.”

“I promise, we will do whatever we can to keep you safe.” Max said.

“So now what?” Liz asked.

Max shrugged. “We don’t know when Khivar will get here. We expect about three to four weeks. We stole the only ship built to travel to Earth. He was still engineering his ship when we escaped. I guess it’s a waiting game until then.”

Liz sighed. “So we’ve got about three weeks to wait around until we all die. Fabulous.”

I grabbed her hand and squeezed it, trying to comfort not only her, but myself. I was rarely scared, it just wasn’t like me to be scared, but today I was terrified. I’d dreamt about Michael coming home so many times, but not once had my dreams ever included inevitable death.

I looked around at everyone in the room, silent, processing. I spent a few moments looking at each of my close friends individually and my heart started to break. As angry as I was at Max, Michael, and Isabel, I could see in their eyes, in the way they carried themselves, in their overall demeanor that they were just as scared as we were. It wasn’t their fault that we were in danger. We knew the risk we were taking getting close to them. We’d known that the risk could possibly cost us our lives. We just hadn’t expected it to actually happen.

Thanks for all the feedback and for the patience while I was away!

The drive home was silent. Jim, Kyle, and I had nothing to say to each other. I know that I was too busy processing everything that had just happened, and I think that they were too.

I tried my best to pretend with my mom. She was so surprised to see me that I think she bought my excuse of being exhausted and allowed me to head to bed early.
Despite actually being exhausted from the flight and the meeting and the not sleeping for more than 36 hours, I just couldn't sleep. I stared at my ceiling for what seemed like forever, Cat curled up next to me.

I don't know why I was startled or shocked when there was a tapping on my window. I wasn't expecting him, but I wasn't surprised by him either. Typical Michael.

I threw open my window and glared at him, still angry about his comments from earlier. "What do you want?" I snapped.

"I'm sorry for what I said today at Liz's."

"Whatever, Michael." I folded my arms across my chest and continued glaring. "I don't care."

"Obviously." He smirked. Try as I might, I couldn't stay angry with him, not with that look on his face, not with the impending war we were going to deal with. I didn't know
how long we had left together.

He reached his arm in my window. "I want to show you something."

"Michael…" I started, not sure if it was a good idea

"Please Maria." He pleaded with his eyes. "Please."

"Okay." I nodded. I grabbed my sweatshirt off my bed and went back to the window. Michael stuck his hand out again, helping me through. "You know, we're twenty-three. I probably don't need to sneak out the window."

Michael laughed. "Yeah, but it's more fun this way."

As we walked, we talked. He asked about my life, what I'd been doing for the past six years. I told him about New York, about working at Starbucks and how my music career had never taken off. He seemed shocked by that, but said nothing, just let me talk, tell him about me and my life. He seemed genuinely interested, and it made me happy to see that he really had missed me and he really did care about me.

"So where are we going?" I asked, after we'd been walking for awhile and I was tired of talking about myself.

"We're almost there." He said, reaching for my hand and dragging me along a little bit longer.

When we stopped I was confused. "Why are we hanging out by the railroad tracks?"

He dropped my hand and looked around. "Before… When I lived with Hank, I used to come here to calm down, to figure things out. Max, Isabel, and I would meet here to discuss.. things. Alien things." He picked up a rock and tossed it. "It seems like a simpler time… back then."

"Back before me?" I said with a dejected voice. He nodded.

I wasn't sure where this conversation was going, but I wasn't sure I wanted to hear anymore. It had already been a terrible day and being rejected by Michael wasn't going to make it any better.

"But back when it was just me, Max, and Isabel, I was always searching for something, anything that would give us a clue to who we are, to where we were from. I thought that if I could find home, I'd find some kind of contentment. I thought I'd find myself."
He turned to me and grabbed both my hands. "The funny thing was, I found home long before I went to Antar. I found home right here on Earth. You are my home Maria. I don't regret Max saving Liz that day, because it brought me to you.

I was speechless, completely blown away by Michael's words. He'd rarely opened up to me that way, and I was taken utterly by surprise. Michael said no more, but lifted my chin and kissed me softly. I was a goner… again.

"You've obviously been taking pointers from Max in the speech giving department." I said, wiping the tears that were rolling down my cheeks.
Michael laughed. "Thanks for ruining my moment."

I shrugged. "We aren't really romantic moment kind of people."

"I guess we're not."

He wrapped his arms around me and I rested my head against his chest. "I love you." He said, pressing his lips to my head.

"I love you too." I told him, but as soon as I said it, my heart dropped.

"You have to understand something though." He continued, while he held me. "My life hasn't gotten any less dangerous, in fact, it's way more dangerous since I've taken my place as Max's second in command, and being linked to me makes your life extremely dangerous. My sole job is to protect Max, Isabel, and Zan, and I'm taking it very seriously. There's a good chance I won't come out of this alive."

"Michael…" I shook my head, tears threatening to spill again. "Don't say that."

He pushed me away from him, holding my arms and forcing me to look into his eyes. "It's the truth Maria. I'm the number one target on Khivar's list, because he knows he can't get to Max, Isabel, or Zan with me alive. He knows I'll die protecting them. You need to know that I'll die protecting you.

"I am probably going to die Maria. You need to understand that. And if you want to leave right now, if you want out, then I won't blame you."

"Of course I'm in!" I cried. "I've always been in, since day one. I don't care how dangerous it is, I never have."

"Then you have to promise me you'll stay safe no matter what happens. Promise me you'll do whatever I say when it comes to dangerous situations. No arguing. Promise me."

"I promise." I whispered, tears again rolling down my cheeks.

He pressed his lips to my forehead and pulled me back into him. "Thank you."

I held back my sobs, not wanting to freak him out or upset him, but I was scared, more scared than I'd ever been in my entire life. I didn't want to think about Michael dying, and I really didn't want to think about what my life would be if he did.

"So you're just like together then?"

"I don't know. I guess." I told Liz as we sat at the CrashDown eating lunch, discussing our aliens. Just like old times, only this time, we were sure to die in a month.

It was weird how the threat of death loomed over our every word and action. Every decision we made, we made knowing that in three or four weeks we could very well be dead, and if we weren't dead, people we loved could be. It put an interesting perspective on life.

"What's going on with you and Max?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Nothing."

I looked at her skeptically. "You're telling me that Max has been on Earth for four days and he's not once proclaimed his undying love for you? That doesn't sound like the Max I know and love."

"I don't want him to proclaim his undying love to me." She snapped.

"Oh." I said, biting my bottom lip. I had apparently hit a nerve.

"He won't even look at me ya know." She said, in a calmer voice. "Doesn't look at me, barely speaks to me unless he has too."

"Maybe he feels guilty." I said, shoving a french fry in my mouth. "He did sleep with Tess, get her pregnant, leave the planet, and then come back with her, their son, and an alien war. And let's not forget that she killed Alex. Yup, that's enough to make a guy feel guilty for a lifetime."

"Thank you Maria, for reminding me."

"Please." I rolled my eyes. "Like she isn't enough of a reminder." I nodded my head towards Tess who was sitting with Zan and Isabel while Michael and Max talked strategy or military or whatever upstairs. "She has some nerve, coming in here."

"She doesn't have much of a choice Maria. With my parents out of town indefinitely, it's the perfect place for them to meet to talk about "Czechoslovakian" things. Max won't leave her alone, especially with Zan. She has to be here."

"Can't we just like accidently kill her?" I suggested. Liz shook her head at me, frowning.

"Ha! I wish." Liz snorted. "Sometimes, I think she and Max deserve each other."

"Liz!" I exclaimed. "You don't mean that!"

She shook her head. "No, I don't. But I can't deny that I'm angry with him. After everything we've been through, I get nothing. We're all going to die in like a month, and he has nothing to say to me. Feeling guilty or not, don't I deserve something?"

"Yeah you do." I told her. "Oh crap!" I said, smacking the empty booth beside me. "I left my purse upstairs."

"It's okay. Lunch is free ya know." She laughed.

"I know." I said. "But I need my phone. I'm expecting a call from Kyle about Mom and Jim's anniversary party that he and Kara are throwing on Saturday. I'm going to run upstairs and get it."

"Ok."

I walked through the back room and up the stairs, but stopped abruptly when I heard Max and Michael. They were yelling, which wasn't exactly uncommon, but not what I anticipated hearing. They both sounded extremely frustrated. I didn't want to eavesdrop, well… okay, I kind of did, but I didn't want to interrupt either, so I just stood there, my back against the wall, and listened.

"I don't know what the answer is!" Max yelled.

"I do." Michael snapped.

"It's not that simple, Michael."

"We have been over this a thousand times." Michael explained. "You agreed."

I heard Max sigh. "It's not safe…"

"No one is safe, Maxwell!"

"What would you do Michael? What would you do if it was Maria?"

"Maria's not the true queen of Antar." Michael told him.

"I know! Liz is!" Max shouted. I heard something hit the wall and shatter and I gasped loudly.

"What was that?" Michael asked.

Shit! I tried to sneak down the stairs as quietly and quickly as possible, but I was too late. "Maria."

I turned around and smiled at Michael innocently. "Hi."

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"I just forgot my purse up here." I explained. I walked past him quickly and grabbed my purse off the table by the doorway. "Here it is! Oh! Hi Max!" I exclaimed, pretending to have heard nothing of their conversation.

"Well, I should be going." I said as cheerfully as possible. Acting was not my thing, and I was sure I wasn't very convincing in this moment, especially with the third degree
stare coming from Michael.

"See you later. Love you!" I told Michael, bouncing up to kiss him quickly on the cheek.

"Hold it." Michael said as I was about to slip out the door.

"Damnit!" I hissed to myself. I turned around slowly, still smiling, and looked at the King of Antar and his second in command. "Yes, Honey?"

Michael rolled his eyes. "Don't "honey" me. What did you hear?"

I shook my head, putting the best blank, stupid look I could muster on my face. "I heard nothing. I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Maria, you are the worst liar ever." Michael told me. "Always have been. Spill."

I sighed, defeated. "I walked in right before something was said about Liz being a queen." I admitted.

Max, who, just as a side note, looked worse than he had four days ago, shook his head and closed his eyes, like he had no idea what to do. But that was pretty much how Max had been since he'd gotten back, so it wasn't too much of a shock. "Maria…" He started. "It is very important that you not repeat what you heard here to anyone. Liz's life depends on it. Your life depends on it."

I bit my bottom lip, unsure that I could do that. Whatever I heard, while I didn't understand it, was big, huge, and possibly a key to whatever was going on with Max. Not to
mention it involved my best friend of twenty years being a queen of another planet. How on Earth, or Antar, or the freaking galaxy was I supposed to keep this from her?

I looked from Max to Michael, back to Max, and then finally rested my eyes on Michael. I looked at him, a million questions in my mind, and probably a million questions on my face. I needed answers. He would understand that.

"I'll explain it all." He said in a quiet voice. "Later."

"Tonight." I demanded.

He nodded his head. "Tonight. I promise. As soon as I'm done here I'll come over."

"Okay."

Michael kissed me gently on the lips. "I love you. I'll see you later." He said and sent me on my way. I walked down the stairs, my stomach completely tied in knots. I was about to find out a huge secret, and be forced to keep it from Liz. How was I going to handle that? I hated keeping things from Liz, and as Michael had not to subtly mentioned, I wasn't that great of a liar.

"What took so long?" Liz asked as I rejoined her.

I swallowed hard and shrugged. "Just talking to Michael about our plans for tonight. Sorry." I lied. I stared at my empty plate, the overwhelming guilt from lying to Liz eating away at me. I was starting to understand why Max looked the way he did. That's what you get, I told myself, for being an eavesdropper.

I’d been home for an entire week. Seven long days that made an entire long week, and I’d spent most of it staring at my ceiling, trying to figure out what the hell was happening and how my life had gotten so complicated.

I’d spent the past few days trying to wake up, sure that I was stuck in some terrible nightmare, but unfortunately, it was reality and it was crashing down on me, and I was not ready.

I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the steady rhythm of Michael’s breathing next to me. While I felt that most of my life lately was like a nightmare, there were times I had to reach out and touch Michael, just to be sure he wasn’t a dream.

Michael was different, there was no denying that Antar had changed him. He was a soldier and it was apparent in everything he did; the way he carried himself, the way he spoke. He was disciplined, which was something that Michael had not been before, and he stood at Max’s right hand like it was a privilege instead of a burden. He no longer looked at Max like the bossy, overbearing, older brother, but looked at him with respect, like it would be nothing short of an honor to die for this man. That look scared me more than anything else in the world.

I knew that there was a very good chance that Michael was going to die for Max, to protect him, to protect all of us. I’d spent the past two nights with him, unable to sleep, afraid that I was wasting time, time that I could be spending watching him sleep, memorizing every detail of his face. At times I felt like a creeper, just watching him, but I’d spent six years without him, I didn’t want to imagine what life would be like for the next sixty or seventy without him. It was too much to bear.

While being on Antar had turned Michael into a soldier, he had changed in other ways as well. I wasn’t sure if it was because he knew that in a few weeks we’d be fighting for our lives once again, with little chance of surviving, but he treated me differently. It confused me at times, because he was so attentive and… perfect. He was perfect.
He was still Michael and I was still Maria, so we still bickered like crazy, but it was different. He still got extremely frustrated and impatient with me at times, which stressed me out usually led to an argument, but he wouldn’t shut down and push me away like he had so many times before. He would stick it out, argue with me until neither of us could argue anymore, and then tell me how much he loved me, and how he wanted to argue with me for the rest of our lives. I never told him, but it made me sick when he said that.

It had taken getting over the initial excitement of our relationship to realize that Michael and I really only had a short time. I knew that when this war started, Michael would be gone. I knew, even though he’d never directly said it, that he would have to leave me to fight. This was doomed from the start, and I had known that, and I was starting to think that despite how much I loved him, maybe I was in for more heartache than I could handle.

Could I handle all of these perfect moments with Michael, knowing that soon they’d be nothing more than a memory, if I even survived?

I sighed and opened up my eyes, watching as the numbers on the clock changed from 2:59 to 3:00 AM, and then back to the white, boring ceiling. I began to think about Liz and what Michael had told me about her a few days ago.

I secretly wished about a thousand times a day that I’d never walked in on that conversation. It was a complete accident, but it now put a burden on my shoulders. A
burden forcing me to keep a huge secret from my best friend, a secret that Max hoped would save all of our lives.

I wondered if sleep would ever come easy again.

“Stop it.” I heard Michael mutter.

“Stop what?” I asked.

“Worrying about whatever you are worrying about.” He rolled over and put his arm around me. “Go to sleep.”

“I was asleep until you just woke me up.” I lied.

“Please.” He scoffed. “You’ve been staring at the ceiling for hours, just like you did last night.”

“I’ll have you know that I wasn’t just staring at the ceiling. I was also staring at you.” I snapped.

“That’s creepy.” He replied, laughing lightly.

I frowned, but said nothing.

He laughed again and propped himself up on one arm so that he could look at me. “What’s wrong?” He asked.

I rolled over onto my side and looked at him, unsure of what to say. What was wrong? What wasn’t wrong should have been his question.

I ran my fingers lightly across the scar on Michael’s forehead that was by far his most prominent facial feature these days. “How’d you get this?” I asked quietly.

He closed his eyes and said nothing. I pulled my hand back, unsure if he was going to answer my question or not; as soon as I did, he opened his eyes and spoke.

“I got this scar from the first of Khivar’s men that I killed.” He said. He was quiet for another few seconds and then continued. “The guilt that comes from taking a life is
unbearable, and I’ve taken many lives Maria. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s what had to be done, to survive.

“Max told me he’d heal it, but I wouldn’t let him. I wanted it to be there as a reminder of what I’ve done, of all the people I’ve murdered. It’s what I am, and I can’t escape it.”

I hadn’t noticed the few stray tears that had made their way down my cheek until Michael wiped them away gently with his thumb.

“You aren’t a murderer Michael.” I told him. “You did what you had to do to survive.”

“That doesn’t change how it feels.” He said.

I wasn’t sure what else to say. Michael had clearly been through a lot, and it was apparent that it was painful to talk about.

“So, now you want to tell me what you’ve been up all night thinking about?” He asked.

“Not really.”

“Are you sure?”

I nodded and snuggled in closer to him. “I think I just want to sleep now.”

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. I laid there, curled up against Michael for the rest of the night, and continued to think.

* * *

“Damn Maria! What happened to you? You look worse than Max right now.” Kyle exclaimed when I walked into the kitchen the next morning.

I rolled my eyes and sat down at the kitchen table. “Kyle, don’t you think it’s time for you to move out of the house? I mean you are twenty-three years old. How did you get
a girlfriend?”

“I’m just charming.” He said, shoving a piece of toast in his mouth, grinning.

“Yes… I can totally see that.” I replied sarcastically. “So seriously though, where is your beautiful, intelligent, way-too-good-for-you girlfriend? We need to finish the details for the party tomorrow.”

“She’s on her way. Where’s Guerin?”

“He left early. Secret alien meeting with Max.”

“Did you just say secret alien meeting?” Kara asked, walking into the kitchen. Kyle and I looked at each other with wide eyes. “The front door was unlocked so I just let
myself in, hope that’s okay.”

“It’s fine.” Kyle told her, “Right Maria?”

“Perfectly.” I smiled.

“So secret alien meetings?”

I laughed. “It’s an inside joke.”

She shrugged. “Oh… kay.”

Kara sat down at the table and we began to talk about the party. Kara was beautiful. Dark brown hair, almost black, that was long and wavy. She had perfectly bronzed skin and piercing green eyes. Nothing about her was fake, she was just genuinely gorgeous and genuinely sweet as could be. I could totally see why Kyle was so into her and after awhile I could see how much she adored Kyle. They complimented each other well. They were perfect together.

“I wish your boyfriend could have been here.” Kara said after we had finished our party plans.

“Yeah, this isn’t really Michael’s thing.” I told her. I could only imagine Michael sitting here picking out napkin colors, confetti, and deciding whether we should have vanilla
cake or chocolate cake or both. It humored me just a bit.

“That’s too bad!” She turned to Kyle. “Still on for dinner tonight?” She asked.

“Yup.” Kyle said, nodding.

“Oh!” She turned back towards me with so much enthusiasm I almost jumped backwards. “You and Michael should come! We can double date!”

“Oh… ummm…” I stammered, unsure of what to say. Not really wanting to go, sure that Michael would be against it, but not wanting to be rude or hurt Kara’s feelings either.

“They would love too!” Kyle said, jumping in excitedly.

“Great!” Kara exclaimed. “We’ll just meet here at eight then?”

“Sounds great.” I told her, forcing myself to be as chipper as I could be. I was exhausted, I hadn’t slept in days, and getting ready and going out on a date was not what I
wanted to do at all. Plus I couldn’t imagine Michael going for it without a fight.

“I am so excited. I can’t wait!” Kara kissed Kyle quickly on the cheek. “See you at eight!” She said, bouncing out the door.

As soon as I heard her car start I glared at Kyle. “I hate you.”

He laughed heartily. “Oh come on! It’ll be fun!”

“Fine.” I said. “Laugh all you want, because you got us into this, you’re telling Michael.”

Kyle’s face immediately fell. “I’m a dead man.”

“Uh huh.”

* * *

“I told him yeah. Sounds fun.”

“I’m sorry… what?” I asked in complete shock. There was no way that Michael Guerin just said, “sounds fun” in regards to a double date. There was no way that Michael
Guerin would say “sounds fun” in regards to dating at all.

“I said… ‘yeah, sounds fun.’ Do you need a hearing aid or something?”

“I heard you!” I snapped.

“Then why are you so confused?” He asked.

“I just… I thought you’d hate the idea.” I told him.

“Well I mean, I’d rather go on a date with just you, but they invited us, and we didn’t have any plans, so we should go. We didn’t have plans did we?”

“No.”

“Then it would be rude to not go.” He said.

I sighed in frustration and collapsed on my bed. I was too exhausted to even bother trying to figure out how Michael’s brain worked. Every day he confused me just a little
bit more with his perfection. It made all of this so much harder to deal with, and I was tired of hard.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, sitting down next to me.

“Nothing.” I lied. “I’m just tired.”

“Well why don’t you take a nap and I’ll see you later tonight.” He suggested.

“Okay.”

He leaned over and kissed me. “Get some sleep. I love you.”

“Love you too.” I said.

I rolled over and curled into a ball and started to cry. “Why is he so damn perfect!" I cried.

Cat, who hated Michael and avoided him like the plague, jumped up and cuddled with me.

"I don’t know if I can do this Cat.” I whispered. “He’s going to leave me again. I don’t think my heart can handle it.”

Cat purred and pressed her head against my chin. “What am I going to do Cat? What am I going to do?”

Thanks to all of you who have been reading and leaving feedback! I really appreciate it!!! You guys are great!

“…So then, the poor guy is getting wheeled into the campus clinic, ice pack pressed against his groin… ” Kara laughed as she recalled the story of how her and Kyle had gotten together. “I couldn’t turn him down after that.”

Michael and I roared with laughter as Kyle’s face turned a bright shade of red. “How many guys are willing to take a football in the groin for a girl?” She asked, looking at him with a smile on her face.

“It was worth it.” Kyle told her. She leaned in and kissed him.

“How did you two meet?” Kara asked, focusing her attention back to Michael and I.

I looked at Michael, unsure what to say. I was pretty sure that saying “his best friend used alien powers to save my best friend and the rest is history” wouldn’t be the best way to tell the story.

Much to my surprise, Michael took the lead. “She drove me absolutely insane, until I had no choice but love her.” He said, putting his arm around me and smirking. I couldn’t help but smile at him. He was so adorable, so amazing. He had it wrong though, it was really I who had no choice in loving him.

“Oh come on!” Kara exclaimed. “Maria, please tell me that’s not true.”

“Oh no, it’s true.” I told her. “We annoyed each other to death, and then decided it would be a good idea to date.”

“And put all of the rest of us through hell on a daily basis.” Kyle added, throwing his straw wrapper at my head.

“All of that’s behind us though.” Michael said. “Right?” He pulled me closer and kissed me on top of the head.

“Yup. We only put people through hell once in awhile these days.” I took a sip of my soda to keep from screaming. Why did he have to be so perfect. I couldn’t take much more. I tried to shift nonchalantly, to put a little space between us, but he noticed and gave me a funny look. I had hurt his feelings. That made me feel even worse. What was wrong with me?

I knew how stupid it was, the way that I was acting, but I couldn’t help it. Every time Michael did something amazing, something perfect, something that proved how much he loved me over the past few days, it started this internal war that I’d been trying to battle. My heart wanted to hold on to Michael and never let go, but my head was telling me that it was going to lead to nothing but disaster and heartache.

Why did this have to be so complicated? It should have been easy. Love Michael, enjoy our time, and deal with the end when it came. Unfortunately, I was having a hard time doing that.

“You should tell Kara about the time that Michael stole your car and kidnapped you.” Kyle said.

“Which time?” I asked him. “Michael was notorious for stealing my car.”

“I borrowed you car!” Michael exclaimed in defense. “I always gave it back!”

I rolled my eyes and looked at Kara. “The stories I could tell.”

“You guys are so hilarious.” Kara laughed. “You are like the perfect couple.”

“Yeah.” I said sighing. “That’s us. Perfect couple.”

* * *

“So… I’ll see you tomorrow.” Michael said as I sat down on my bed. I looked up at him in shock, wondering why he wasn’t staying.

“You aren’t staying?” I asked, a little hurt, I thought I’d done a good job hiding that something was wrong.

“Do you want me to stay?” He asked, his tone angry and confused.

“Michael! Of course I do.” I told him.

“Well you haven’t been acting like it.” He snapped. I looked down and bit my bottom lip. “Would you please tell me what is going on?”

“Nothing!” I lied. “Nothing! I’m just tired.” He wasn’t buying it.

“Maria, you have been feeding me the “I’m tired” shit for three days now. What is the problem?”

“I don’t know! I just don’t get you!”

“What don’t you get, Maria? I thought I’d been pretty clear about how I felt about you. What is the problem?”

The exhaustion and the stress had finally gotten to me and I began to cry. “I don’t know.”

Michael sat down and wrapped his arms around me and it pushed me to the edge. I shoved him as hard as I could. “Don’t!” I yelled. “Stop being so damn perfect. I can’t
take it anymore!”

He immediately dropped his arms and stood up. He was silent for a long time as I sat there crying softly. Finally he stood up. “I’m going to go.” He said.

I knew I had hurt him. He did not deserve this. He did not deserve my crazy, emotional outbursts. He didn’t deserve me being so confused. He deserved so much better.

“Michael…” I whispered through my tears… “Don’t go…”

He turned to me, no expression on his face and kissed me quickly on the head. “I’ll call you in the morning. Get some sleep.”

“Michael…”

He didn’t look back, just walked out the door, closing it gently. I waited a few seconds, knowing that it was coming, and yet I still jumped when the front door slammed. He was angry and hurt, and he had every right to be.

I was the most horrible person in the world. I was without a doubt the scum of the Earth. I didn’t deserve Michael. He was too good for me, and I was going to lose him, and it wasn’t going to be to some war or to death, it was going to be because I pushed him away.

I wanted to be brave, to not be afraid of losing him. I wanted to be the kind of person that could just roll with the punches, just deal with the fact that we had little time, and just know that it would work out, but I wasn’t that person. I’d never been that person.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and sobbed.

Waking up after a night of sobbing was comparable to waking up with a hangover for me. My head was pounding, my eyes were puffy and red; I even felt nauseous every time I remembered the night before.

I felt even worse two hours later when I walked into the back of the Crashdown and saw all the aliens, even little Zan, but no Michael.

Zan immediately ran to me, and I caught him in my arms. Since I’d been spending so much time with Michael, it had led to me spending a lot of time with Zan, and I couldn’t help but fall in love with the kid, even if he was the spawn of Tess. He had too much Max in him to not be absolutely adorable, and it wasn’t his fault that his mother was a murdering psychopathic bitch.

“Auntie Maria!” He exclaimed.

“Hey Pal!”

“Guess what!”

“What?” I asked.

“Daddy said we are going to a party tonight at your house!”

I smiled at him. But his excitement turned quickly to sadness and he frowned at me. “What’s wrong?”

He sighed. “Uncle Michael said he might not come. He says you have issues.”

“O…K!” Max said, stifling a laugh. He grabbed Zan from my arms. “Why don’t you go get some breakfast
with Mommy.”

“Ok! Come on Momma! Bye Maria!” Zan skipped into the restaurant.

“Don’t leave the restaurant.” Max told Tess as she followed him. She said nothing, just glared and kept
walking.

I watched through the window as she and Zan sat down. As much as I hated her, she was a good mother.
She loved Zan and he adored her. I couldn’t imagine her hurting him, although I don’t think that was Max’s
fear. I think Max’s fear was that she would run off with him and disappear.

“So, apparently Michael talked to you.” I said, turning towards Max and Isabel.

Isabel nodded. “He just doesn’t know what to do. He’s confused.”

“I understand.” I said, and I did. I didn’t blame him for wanting to talk to Max and Isabel about it. In all honesty, I’d been on my way to talk to Liz about the whole thing.

“I don’t know what to do.” I said.

“Talk to him. Tell him how you feel.” Max told me. “I’m gonna go check on Tess and Zan.”

“He’s out back.” Isabel said. “Liz isn’t here. She said she’d be gone for most of the morning, but, if you need to talk…”

“Thanks Iz.” I smiled. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed her until that moment.

“Anytime.”

Michael was standing against the wall, arms crossed, looking down at the ground, kicking any stone that was in his vicinity. It reminded me of the old Michael. The stubborn, closed off, emotionally retarded Michael that I’d fallen in love with over eight years ago.

“Hi.” I said quietly.

He looked up at me, no emotion. “Hey.”

“I’m sorry… about last night.” I said.

He shrugged. “Whatever.” Ahh yes, that was the Michael I had come to know and love.

“Can we talk about it?” I asked. I was broken, he was broken, and if we didn’t fix this, I wasn’t sure either of us would be whole ever again.

“No.”

“Ummm…” I was completely taken aback by his response. “Okay.”

“This is what you want isn’t it?” He said, turning towards me. “For me to stop being so fucking perfect?” It was clear that the night apart hadn’t done anything but upset Michael more.

“I didn’t mean that.”

“Than what did you mean? Because, six years ago all you did was bitch because I wasn’t a good enough boyfriend and now here I am, trying my hardest to make you happy and you don’t like that either. Please tell me, what do I have to do to make you happy Maria?”

“I don’t know.” I bit my bottom lip to try to keep from crying. I’d been crying at the drop of a hat lately and now was not the time to let tears get in the way.

“Whatever.” He said again, kicking a rock at the wall. “That’s been your answer for everything since I got home, ‘I don’t know.’” He mocked.

“You’re not the same person that you were when you left!” I told him, the filter between my brain and my mouth starting to disappear, my emotions beginning to emerge. “You’ve changed, and you just expect me to be right there with you and I’m not. This is all happening so fast! You’ve had time to deal with this, to process what’s happening, but me, I was just thrown into all of this and you just want me to be okay with all of it.”

“That’s because you said you were okay with it!” He yelled.

“Well I’ve decided that I’m not! We have three weeks and then chances are you or I, or both of us are going to die and I’m scared. I’m scared to death Michael, and you don’t seem scared at all. You have no problem going into a battle and dying for Max or Isabel, or even me, and that is the scariest thing I’ve ever had to deal with.”

“That’s because you’re not seeing the bigger picture here Maria. You’re still seventeen years old.”

“What did you just say?” I snapped, unable to believe he’d actually said that.

“You heard me. You’re still seventeen years old. You’re still the same person you were when I left, and you’re right, I’ve changed. I spent six years fighting for my life, seeing war and death and how it affected the people around me, and it changed me. But you? You’ve been living comfy here on Earth.”

“Oh you think things have just been perfect since you left?” I screamed, shoving him as hard as I could. “It killed me! It killed me when you left! It took a long time to put my life back together. You can’t just come back here after six years and pretend you know anything about what life has been like for me!”

“Don’t you mean it took a long time to make a new life? Running from your problems, pretending they didn’t exist, pretending I never existed. That’s what you did isn’t it? That’s why you were in New York? That’s why you never came home to visit your mom or Liz? You did everything you could to forget about us, to forget about me.” He spat.

“Stop it.” I cried. “That’s not true and you know it! I never forgot about you. Not for one second!”

“But you tried to. You tried to forget about me. I’ve seen your life while I was gone Maria. You can’t hide as much from me as you’d like.” He said, reminding me that he got flashes from me whenever things got intense and seeing as how it was Michael and I, things were bound to get intense quite a bit.

“Yeah, I did try to forget you. I tried as hard as I possibly could to put the past behind me and start new. Is there really something wrong with that?”

You wanna know what’s wrong with that?” He asked.

“What, Michael? What is so wrong with me trying to get on with my life?” I shouted.

He grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to look him in the eye. I’d never seen him this angry and I’d never seen the immense sadness in anyone the way I did in Michael when he looked at me.

“You spent every day pretending I never existed, pretending that we never existed, surviving by hoping you could forget it all someday, while I spent every moment on Antar trying to remember everything about you; your face, your voice, your smile, your laugh. I clung to every detail; that’s how I got through the day. That’s how I survived.” He let go of me and stepped back.

“I didn’t know you were coming back!” I cried. “I didn’t think I would ever see you again. What did you want me to do? Agonize over you and never move on?”

“No, I never expected that. I fully expected to come back here and find you with someone, doing something with your life, changing the world, but you didn’t move on Maria. You didn’t move forward, you just pretended to.”

“Oh, so now I’m not doing anything with my life?”

“No. You’re not.” He said. “You’re twenty three years old, hiding in New York, working at a coffee shop. You don’t even have any friends there. You never tried to move on. You ran away, like a scared little girl and tried to bury your past. It’s pathetic Maria.”

“Fuck you, Michael.” I yelled at him. I was so angry with him; I wanted to punch him in the face.

“Yeah, fuck me.” He snickered. “Whatever Maria.”

“If that’s how you feel Michael? If you really think I’m so damn pathetic, than why do you want to be with me?” I couldn’t stop the tears that were streaming down my face.

He was silent for a moment, contemplative before he spoke. “I don’t know.” He said, the anger completely disappearing from his face and voice. “I don’t think I do anymore.” He said it as though it was a revelation
of some sort, making it hurt even more.

“What?” My voice dropped.

“I can’t be with you Maria. Not like this.” He said, not angry, not frustrated, not anything. He emitted no emotion. Not on his face, not in his voice.

“Michael, don’t say that.”

He shook his head. “I love you… more than you will ever know, but I’ve spent the past six years fighting in a war and for all I know, I’ll spend the next sixty in that war. The one place I don’t want to be in battle is with you.”

No, this wasn’t how this was supposed to go. “No, Michael, we can fix this.” I told him.

“I don’t think we can. I don’t think I want to. Not at this point. Maybe if we had another fifty years to work on things, but as you’ve made very clear we only have three weeks, then I’m probably leaving or dying. It’s best that we just break it off now.” He turned around and started walking away.

“Michael! Please don’t go.” I pleaded. I was in shock. This is not what I expected. I had come out here to fix things and all I’d done was make them worse.

He stopped, but didn’t turn around. “It’s done Maria. Go back to your life. I’m sure in a few months you’ll have forced yourself to forget me entirely.” And then he walked away.

I bent over and wrapped my arms around my stomach, unable to say anything as my brain tried to make sense of what had just happened. There was a familiar burn in the back of my throat as the bile rose into my mouth and I leaned over further to throw up. This was not happening. This couldn’t be happening? How had I ruined something so perfect in only nine days?

“Maria!” Isabel called.

I wanted to turn around, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t even breathe. Tears streamed down my cheeks, and occasionally when my lungs could suck in a breath, a broken sob would escape my lips.

This was not me. I was not this person, this girl that sobbed in an alley over her boyfriend. I was teflon, I was strong. I was the one always holding everyone else together. What had happened to me?
It was then that I thought of something. Michael had been wrong. I had changed, just not in the way that he had. He’d seen things that he couldn’t explain, things that would haunt him forever, but it had made him a stronger person.

I’d become weak, and scared, and closed off. I’d become the complete opposite of what Michael had become. I’d become someone I didn’t recognize in the mirror, someone who ran from her emotions, hid them away. I’d become a bit like Michael, and now I’d lost him because of it.

“Maria.” Isabel said again, this time from right next to me. “Let’s go inside.” She suggested.

I nodded and wiped away as many tears as I could, but it was useless, because they kept coming, no matter how hard I willed them to stop.

“It’s my fault. I did this.” I managed to choke out when we reached Liz’s apartment. “I pushed him away.”

“It’s okay. He loves you. You guys can fix this.” She said, stroking my hair.

I shook my head. “I don’t think we can Isabel. Not this time.” And as I said it, I realized that it was true. For the first time, I was positive that my relationship with Michael Guerin was over.

There are days that go down in the history of your life as wonderful, days that you will always remember, memories you will cherish until you die. There are also days that go down in the history of your life has the most terrible days. The days that no matter how hard you try to forget resonate in your memories, your nightmares, for as long as you live. I was living in one of those days.

Not only was this one of the most horrible days in my life, it was also one of the longest. It was only noon and so much had happened already. I was exhausted, emotionally and physically, and the day wasn’t even half over.

I was also dreading the rest of the day. It was one thing to have a terrible day and be able to go home and mope in bed, but it was another thing when you’re parents were having an anniversary party the same night so you were required to put on your happy face and pretend like life was okay.

I planned on hiding out at Liz’s as long as I could, going home just in time to shower and get ready. It would be easier to pretend that I was okay if there were people around that I had to talk too. If I spent too much time alone, I was sure to lose it.

“Maria, don’t worry. Things will work out okay.” Max kept telling me.

I wanted to believe him, I really did, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t find the hope to believe that anything good was going to happen. When had I become such a pessimist?

“You know Michael loves you.” Isabel said. “He’s just Michael… confused and angry. Give him a day or two. He’ll be fine.”

“He’s changed so much Isabel. It’s like, I don’t even know him.”

“He has changed, but not as much as you think. He’s still Michael, he just…” Isabel stopped, like she was at a loss for words.

“He realized how much he loved you.” Max finished for her.

“He dream-walked you, you know?” Isabel said.

I looked up at her. “No, I didn’t know.” A part of me was angry at Michael for invading my privacy, but I knew that was silly, so I pushed the feeling away.

“He dream-walked you a lot, to check on you, to make sure you were okay. You can tell a lot about a person by their subconscious. He never interfered in your dreams though. He said that if he started becoming a part of your dream, he’d never stop, and that wasn’t fair to you. If you wanted to move on, he wanted to make sure he wasn’t standing in the way of that, even if it was only in a dream.”

“He never told me that.” I said.

“He didn’t speak much when we first got to Antar. He was quiet, went along with whatever I decided, very unlike Michael. Isabel and I tried to get him to open up, to talk about how he felt, but he wouldn’t.” Max told me.

“You know that scar on his forehead?” Max asked. I nodded. “Did he tell you how he got that?”

“He just said that he got it from the first of Khivar’s men that he killed.”

“He saved my life. I was fighting alone; I had traveled further from our camp than I should have alone. I was losing and he came just in time to save my life.

“At that moment, something happened to him. He sat down on the ground and he wept. He actually cried.”

I could see the pain in Max’s eyes as he relived the memory of watching his best friend breakdown. I knew how he felt. I had seen Michael breakdown once before. It made my heart ache just remembering it.

“For the first time in a year, Michael talked to me like I was his best friend instead of like I was his King. He admitted that he missed you, that he thought about you all the time and that while he knew his place was on Antar with Isabel and I, that leaving you had been the hardest thing he’d ever done.

“He told me how much he regretted all that time that he pushed you away and that if he ever got a second chance with you, he’d make sure you knew exactly how he felt, and that he wouldn’t waste time pushing you away, but make the most of every minute he had with you.”

“And I ruined it.” I told them, a few stray tears rolling down my cheeks. “I was so scared that I pushed him away. All he wanted to do was love me, and I wouldn’t let him.”

“I really think you guys will work this out.” Isabel told me. “He just needs time to calm down. He has changed, but he’s still Michael. He loses his temper and throws his little tantrums and then he gets over it. That’s how he’s always been Maria, you know that.”

“He tried so hard. He felt like he wasn’t good enough for me before, so he changed to be what he thought I wanted, but all I wanted was him, the way I remembered him. I’m so selfish and stupid.”

Max shook his head. “No Maria. You were scared. Everything that we told you, everything that’s happened, and will possibly happen is scary. No one blames you for freaking out.”

“Michael does.” I responded.

“He’ll get over it.” Isabel said. “He loves you.”

“I don’t know if love is enough this time.” I told her.

“Love is always enough Maria.” Max said. “Love can conquer anything.”

“If you believe that, why haven’t you told Liz she’s your alien queen?” Isabel asked, a smile on her face.

“What did you just say?”

The three of us turned towards the voice we all knew, but were not expecting.

“Liz!” I exclaimed, hoping she’d forget what she’d heard, hoping she hadn’t really heard anything at all.

“What did you just say?” The question was for Isabel, but Liz’s eyes never left Max.

Max cleared his throat. “Liz, there’s something I need to tell you.”