Roswell Fanatics

TITLE: The Guardian

AUTHOR: Oz

RATING: Teen

CATEGORY: M/L, AU (without aliens)

DISCLAIMER: The characters of "Roswell" belong to Jason Katims, Melinda Metz, WB, and UPN. They are not mine and no infringement is intended.

SUMMARY: Max has gone off the rails while trying to cope with the guilt of causing a terrible accident. He has been allocated a guardian angel to protect him, who, in the process discovers more about herself than she could have imagined.

A/N: I know I shouldn't be starting another fix given my track record of not posting updates frequently, but I can't imagine life without having a fic on the go! I'd miss you guys too much! So please be patient with me, and pray that this growing bubs means more chances to sit down in front of the computer writing!


Chapter 1

I was beginning to think I had made the wrong choice. Either that, or someone up there was screwing with me and enjoying a good old laugh at my expense. I had a sneaking suspicion it was the latter.

On arriving at the gates of heaven, and being presented with the choice of (a) eternal life enveloped in unimaginable joy, pure love and serenity, or (b) postponing that existence for a little while so as to help those souls still on the earthly plane, I hadn’t realised at the time that the second option was another way of describing hell. It really had to have been a choice between heaven and hell, because honestly, this situation could only be described as and endless abyss of suffering. My own private hell. An eternity of torment.

Okay, so maybe I wasn’t going to be stuck here for an eternity, but if it was to do my job properly and keep this guy alive, then I was going to be here with him for a very, very long time.

And from what I could see – I had my work cut out for me.

Maybe I should start with some introductions. My name is Sera, and this was my first assignment as a guardian angel – to protect some guy named Max, who, at this moment, was trying to drink his weight in alcohol at some sleazy bar which obviously had a very lax stance about letting minors in. This guy couldn’t be more than seventeen - my age, that is, the age I was when I died. Or at least that’s what they tell me.

And that’s all they have told me. I have no idea who I was when I was alive. Was Sera even my name then? Where did I live? Did I have any friends? How did I die? When you make the choice to come back, it seems you are also making the choice to forget everything you ever were.

I guess when they send you back to watch over someone, they don’t want you distracted by unfinished business or checking on family and friends. The person you are assigned to guard is your one and only priority. Their life matters more than anything else. And right now, my ward was taking yet one more floozy back to his car for a quickie in the back seat.

Could my life, and by which I mean my incorporeal life, get any worse?

There were starving children in Africa, children being sold as child prostitutes or into slavery, and I was stuck protecting a guy who clearly didn’t care about his soul. He definitely didn’t care about the woman he was about to use and throw away like every other woman he has been with this week. One for each day. Actually, no, it was more than that, there were two on Saturday. And who could forget the twins at the toga party on Friday night?

I wish I could.

I may not remember who I was when I was alive, but I’m defiantly sure that I wasn’t promiscuous. I probably didn’t even drink, or do drugs, or even curse for that matter (I did almost get into heaven after all). But these were all things that this guy did on a daily basis.

For the life of me, again, sorry, you know what I mean, I can’t understand who up there in heaven cared so much about this guy that he got a guardian angel assigned to him? I mean, seriously? At this point I really can’t see that anyone here on earth would miss him if he were gone.

I guess it would be a good time for me to explain how this whole guardian angel thing works. From what I understand, souls that have passed over can partition to the Council in charge of the guardians, to have an angel assigned to a particular person back on Earth. If the Council deems the human worthy enough, he’ll grant the partition. If not, then bad luck, he or she has to fend for themselves like the rest of them.

I would seriously like to know what kind of strings were pulled to have an angel assigned to Max? And what I also would love to know, is why in the world did his life have to be entrusted to me?

Max it seemed had finished his business in record time, and was now on the move again. Kicking the woman to the curb before she could even retrieve her panties, he’s already headed in the direction of the bar across the road. I didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to figure out what the rest of the night entailed. More booze, another woman, and passing out on his front porch … again. A typical Tuesday night.

“Watch it!” A woman exclaimed, as Max stumbled and tripped, accidentally bumping into her. I knew it wasn’t completely an accident.

“So sorrrrry.” Max slurred in apology, attempting to cop a feel as he righted himself.

“Get off me!” She cried, stepping away from Max and turning her back as he stepped off the kerb and into the path of an oncoming car.

My guardian training had me well prepared for this, and within milliseconds, I was directing the driver’s hands on the wheel to veer right, while simultaneously causing Max’s feet to stumble backwards towards the safety of the footpath. I didn’t stop him from tripping and landing on his backside in the gutter, but I figured that saving him from embarrassing himself wasn’t part of the job. I saved his life – that didn’t mean I had to stop him from humiliating himself too.

The shock of the almost-accident was enough to snap something in Max’s brain and force him to rethink his visit to the bar across the street. Instead, he walked back to the car and rested against the bonnet. I thought he was going to hurl, but instead, he slumped to the ground and put his head in his hands. If I wasn’t mistaken, and I wasn’t, he was crying.

I knew what he was crying about too. It was one of the perks of being a guardian angel. I could read minds. Pretty much, anyone’s, anywhere, anytime. I just usually shut it out and only listened in when it would help me with my duties.

Right now, it didn’t help me, but I was curious, so I had a peek at his thoughts.

A drunken haze…

A seemingly empty street …

The sudden approach of headlights to his right …

The car swerved just in time to avoid hitting him, but the car wasn’t so lucky. It was impaled around a street light…

Ambulances … coroners bag … stretchers …

It seemed the occupants of the car weren’t too lucky either. One casualty, one seriously injured, one in shock.

I felt a sudden twinge of guilt for giving Max such a hard time. Yes he was an ass. Yes he was an idiot for the drinking, the drugs and the women. But he had a lot of guilt that he was dealing with. Who knows what kind of person I would be if I had been responsible for someone’s death.

The girls that Max had bumped into by the side of the road were still staring at him and snickering, so I decided to cut this guy a break. I nudged his mind to tell him to get up and get into the car and drive home. Not something that I would necessarily recommend for a person in his drunken state, but not everyone had a guardian angel to make sure that they made it home safe.

We took the back streets, avoiding the police breath testing stations and any more traffic, and arrived at Max’s driveway safe and sound. He managed to pull himself out of the car, and with a little help from me, put his key in the lock and get inside. The stairs were a little more awkward, but after some persistence, we were both in Max’s bedroom. He collapsed on the bed immediately, and I took my usual spot by the window.

I don’t know why I always chose that spot. I guess it was so that I had a good view of the room, and the doorway, but it was also so I could look up at the stars. Despite the smog that perpetually covered the city sky, you could still make out a few. Tonight was even better, as the moon was full. I guess that might explain why Max was in such fine form tonight – full moons always brought the freaks out.

I could hear snoring coming from the bed, so I finally allowed myself to tune out and cleared my mind. It was time to check in with my team leader.

“How’s it going down there Sera?” My team leader’s voice resonated in my head. I could hear him try and suppress a snigger.

“Jake, remind me to kill you for giving me this assignment the next time I see you…” I replied in a huff. “Did I piss you off or something?”

“Maybe I thought you would enjoy the challenge?” Jake replied.

“Or maybe you just wanted to torment me?” I suggested. “This guy is a jerk.”

“Oh come on, he can’t be that bad.” Jake sniggered again.

“I’m in hell.” I replied matter-of-factly. “When can I get out of here?”

“When you fail.” Jake replied, now serious. “And no guardian has ever failed before, so don’t try to be the first just so you can get a new assignment.”

“There must be some other way.” I replied. “Can’t I get replaced?”

“Only if you were to be found guilty of gross misconduct. Again, no guardian ever has before…”

“Okay, so what you are telling me is that I’m stuck here until this guy dies of natural causes?” I knew that was to be the case, but I was desperate for a loophole.

“Pretty much, yeah.” Jake replied, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Great. Just great.” I huffed again.

“Maybe you’ll learn to like the guy?” Jake suggested.

“And pigs might fly.” I scoffed.

“I love these little talks of ours. They are always so uplifting.” Jake laughed.

“For you maybe, I just come away feeling more depressed than ever.” I complained. “What did I do in my past life to deserve this?”

“Nothing. You were perfect.” Jake assured me.

That was a relief. Until it dawned on me…

“Wait, you knew who I used to be?”

“I have to go, I’ve got others checking in, I’ll talk to you later Sera…” Jake signed off and I felt the connection disappear before I could stop him.

Jake knew who I used to be. He knew my name, where I lived, how I died…

… and he thought I was perfect.

It’s a good thing guardian angels didn’t need sleep, because this conversation was going to be replayed in my head all night.

Thanks everyone. I'm glad you liked the first chapter. Here's some more!


Chapter 2

Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored…

How long does this guy need to sleep, really? There’s only so many times I can count the number of stripes in the curtains or colour-coordinate the pencils on the desk. If he dreamt, then that would at least be entertaining, but the guy is so comatose, there’s absolutely nothing sparking in that brain of his.

What I need is to wake him up. Even watching him mope around his room, or drinking himself into a stupor would be better than this.

I stealthily moved the latch on the window enough for the window to open an inch, and concentrated on forcing a large gust of air through the window and directly across Max’s face.

His eyes opened slowly and he rubbed his hand across his face, attempting to pull the fringe out of his eyes from where the wind had blow it. He blinked a few times before glaring at the window.

“I don’t remember leaving that open.” He said to himself as he pulled himself up to sitting position.

“You wouldn’t remember much of last night given the state you were in.” I replied to myself. See, even this silent banter was better than watching the progress of the sunlight across Max’s bedroom. We had progress.

Max pulled off yesterday’s shirt and jeans, and rummaged through his wardrobe for something clean to wear. I had to admit, watching Max strut around in only his boxer shorts was not a bad way to pass the morning. Even if he was a bit of a jerk, he had a fine looking body.

“So what’s the plan for today Max? School? No? Of course, why would you bother to start now? You’ve already missed half of the semester.”

Max grunted and pulled a white V-neck t-shirt over his head. Oh well, I guess my sightseeing was over for another day.

I followed Max downstairs to where he made himself a bowl of breakfast, despite the fact that it was well past noon. Finishing it off with a glass of orange juice, he grabbed his keys and wallet and headed outside to where we had parked the car the night before.

Max shook his head, unable to remember how he had got home the night before, and climbed into the driver’s seat. I floated through the passenger-side car door and took my usual place next to him. The music blared immediately, and I had to use all of my strength to stop myself from switching channels or turning the volume down to something that would not damage Max’s eardrums. I told myself that I was here to protect his life – not his hearing.

“So, where to?” I asked.

Max started the engine and backed out of the driveway, being extra careful given his slightly hung-over state.

We began to follow a familiar route, and I suddenly became half excited about where we were going. The cemetery. Cool.

Max came here once a week or so. I would say that he was here to visit his parents, but that would be impossible given that they were buried on the other side of the country. No, every time we came to the cemetery, Max would visit a different grave. He would choose the headstone that had no flowers, no sign that anyone had come to visit the grave in a long time, and he would sit there and talk to his parents.

They had died six months before in a tornado. Max likes to imagine that the storm literally swept their house into the air like in the Wizard of Oz, but it wasn’t quite like that. They didn’t have time to get to the storm cellar, and tried to ride out the storm in their bathroom – supposedly one of the safest places to be.

Unless the walls cave in on you.

Max was at school at the time the storm hit. He was safe, but he came home to find his whole street wiped out. It wasn’t anything like a street anymore – just a pile of rubbish. The rescue crew found his parents bodies the following day, laying side by side with their arms wrapped around each other.

So Max had been shipped off to Roswell, to his only living relative, his Uncle Steve. His mother’s brother hadn’t kept in close contact with his sister, only sending a card at Christmas, so being landed with his nephew required a huge adjustment. I could see that he was trying to do the right thing by Max, but he was still new at this whole parenting biz, which is why Max was able to go off the rails so much.

Being so far away from home, Max felt guilty because he was unable to visit his parent’s gravesite as much as he would have liked. So, to him, visiting the local cemetery was the next best thing.

I would like to be able to tell him that he can speak to them anywhere. They were always listening. But I think, in a way, he already knew that. He just liked the thought that he was making the effort to buy the flowers to place on the headstone, and just spend time in conversation with his parents.

It was the one time during the week when I held a smidgeon of respect for Max. Despite all of his faults, he was a devoted son.

It made me wonder what kind of person he would be like if his parents were still alive…

While Max talked, I tried to give him privacy, and spent time slowly walking through the neighbouring headstones. I would always wonder how these people died, particularly those who died young. It made me think about my own death and how it had come about. I wondered if had Cancer, and had fought the battle for my life for a long time, or had I been in some horrible accident? A cheerleading stunt gone wrong? A plane crash perhaps? Did the people at my school mourn for me? Did my parents?

The powers-that-be had thought it best if we, the guardians, didn’t return to Earth with memories of our past life, but I wondered whether that was really the best idea? If I knew, I would stop obsessing about it. I would let it go and get on with my job of being a guardian. Wouldn’t I?

Max stood up, marking the end of his visit for another week, and I was back at his side in an instant. I wondered where we would be going next. Following past history, I could only assume that we were headed back to the bar where Max would drown his sorrows in his weight of alcohol.

But Max surprised me. Instead of taking the road to the bar, we took the road home.

“Max? Is that you?” Uncle’s Steve’s voice called as we walked through the front door. From the lounge room we could hear the sports commentary coming from the TV. Uncle Steve was big into sports, something he wished Max and he had in common, but that wasn’t to be. I wouldn’t be surprised if Max didn’t know the difference between a three-pointer and a touch down.

“Hey.” Max said, peering into the lounge room, and dropping his car keys on the counter.

“What have you been up to? I haven’t seen you for the last few days.” Uncle Steve discreetly didn’t mention the fact that it was because Max would sleep all day and then stay out past curfew each night.

“Nothing much.” Max replied, giving the usual reply.

“Do you think you could sit down for a minute? I want to talk to you.” Steve said nervously. He still wasn’t comfortable with this parenting stuff, let alone having to give Max a heart-to-heart/ultimatum. This was going to be interesting.

Max took a reluctant seat on the opposite couch.

“I had a phone call from your school today. They said that if you have any other absent days this year, they will be forced to fail you. You will have to redo your final year.” Steve began.

Max didn’t respond.

“I know that you have been through a lot this year, first with your parents, and then with the accident, and that’s why I have let it slide for so long. I just… I just don’t want to see you ruin your life by continuing to live like this. Your parents wouldn’t want that. I don’t want that.”

Max actually started to cry.

“I know they wouldn’t.” Max whispered.

I knew they wouldn’t either.

“So do you think you could try to go to school tomorrow? For them?” Steve asked.

Max nodded.

“That a boy.” Steve smiled, patting Max on the knee and getting up, indicating that he wasn’t going to push any further. “Are you hungry? I was going to order some pizza.”

“Sure. That’d be great.” Max agreed, forcing a smile.

The pizza arrived and the two men watched the football game on the TV with relative normalcy. Max even made some comments about the play which made me realise that he did know a thing or two about the game – he just never showed the interest before. Well, there was more to Max Evans than I had thought.

And I was sure I would learn more the following day at school. I was so excited I could barely contain myself. After months of seeing little more than the inside of Max’s bedroom, car, the cemetery and the bars he frequented, we were finally going to go to a place full of bustling people – people our own age! This was going to be awesome!

Here's the next instalment!!


Chapter 3

“You’re not seriously going to wear that are you?” I asked, shaking my head in disapproval at the vest Max had put on over his t-shirt. “Do you want the other kids to think you’re a nerd?”

As if hearing me, Max pulled it off again and grabbed his leather jacket.

“Much, much better.” I commented. “Now, you’d better get a move on or we’re going to be late.”

Max was obviously nervous. I didn’t remember my first day of school, but I guess nervousness was a natural reaction to have. He didn’t know a single person his age in this town, even though he had been here for six months. He would be starting at a new school well into the school year when everyone already had their own friends and cliques. He would be scrutinised and pigeonholed before he had even opened his mouth. Stressful enough, but he was already dealing with a lifetime of stress since his parents died. I guess, in some small way, I was actually feeling sorry for him.

But only a little. I wanted to slap him upside the head and tell him to suck it up. I was too excited to care about his little insecurities.

We were getting out of this stifling house and into the real world. Maybe if people were going to be able to see me, I would be nervous too, but what is there to be nervous about when I was just going to be a silent, invisible onlooker? No one would even know I was there, always in the background ready to jump in when needed. But seriously, how dangerous could school be? This was going to be the easiest gig imaginable.

*

Walking up the steps to the administration office, Max tried to ignore the stares of his fellow students who were evaluating the newbie. Avoiding eye contact, I could feel him try to appear as confident and self-assured as possible. His strategy was to appear disinterested and disengaged, so that people would leave him alone, neither picking on him nor wanting to befriend him.

“Hi. My name is Max Evans. This is my first day.” Max mumbled to the plump looking lady behind the reception desk.

“Yes Max, the principal is expecting you. Please take a seat for a moment.” The lady indicated to the row of three chairs sitting outside the principal’s office.

Max sat down and I stood opposite him, leaning against the wall and taking in the surroundings. Max did too as he peered through the slim blinds to see the principal sitting behind her desk, reprimanding the student seated before her. The kind of student you would typically expect to see in the principal’s office before the first bell had even rung – black hoodie, tattoos, nose ring. Within a few moments the student walked out looking suitable chastised, and the principal called Max into her office.

“Max, it’s nice to finally meet you.” The principal began, being as friendly as possible. “Your uncle has explained to us your circumstances, the uh… well, the loss of your parents, and we want you to know that we want to do everything possible to help you through this time. I would recommend that you avail yourself of the school counselor to help you through anything you may be struggling with.”

“Thank you.” Max replied, not completely sure what the appropriate response was, given his first reaction was to tell the principal to go to hell, but thought that a ‘thank you’ was probably more appropriate.

“But you also need to be aware that as a public school, we are subject to governmental regulations. And the one thing we cannot give any more leeway on is your attendance. If you miss just one more day of school this year, you will not be able to graduate and you will have to repeat this year. As it is, you will have your work cut out for you to catch up on all the work you have already missed this year, but your uncle has assured me that you are up to the task. Do you agree?”

“I’ll try my best.” Max agreed. The last thing he wanted was to spend any more time at this school than he had to. The sooner he graduated, the sooner he could get out of this town and get on with his life – if that was even possible.

“Very good. Well, here is your class schedule. Mr Peterson is expecting you in history so you had better hurry.” The Principal advised as the morning bell rang on queue.

“Thanks.” Max said, taking his class schedule and heading out of the office.

In the hallway he noted the numbers of the classrooms along the hall, and used his powers of deduction to work out that his history class was only a few classes up the hall. Merging into the mob of kids in the corridor, he followed the natural flow of people as they headed to class.

Stepping into the history room, Max was one of the last to arrive, and there was silence as every single pair of eyes in the room turned to look at him. I overheard one girl over by the window whisper to her friend “fresh meat”. The look she gave reminded me of a lioness staring longingly at a piece of steak. I was surprised there wasn’t a bit of drool running down her chin.

Max himself seemed to be oblivious to the girl’s reaction, but concentrated on finding an empty seat, keeping his head down.

“Alright class, sit down and be quiet.” The teacher called as he walked into the room.

“Ah, it seems we have a new student. Max Evans I believe.” He said, after checking the piece of paper in his hand.

Max gave a nod in the affirmative.

“Tess? Can you grab a spare textbook from the front and pass it down to Max?” The teacher asked, indicating to the salivating girl now seated in the front, a few rows in front of Max.

Tess did one better, and instead of passing the book back to the student behind her, she personally carried the book down the row to hand it to Max directly.

“For you.” She smiled.

“Thanks.” Max mumbled embarrassed that all of the student’s attention was still on him.

Tess gave Max a wink before returning to her seat.

“Okay class, we are going to continue our discussion about the Salem witch trials. Can you please open your books to page seventy two. Chris, can you read the first page for us?...”

Max opened his book, only to find a piece of paper flutter out of his book and onto the ground. Picking it up swiftly, he opened it slowly to find that on it Tess had written her name and phone number. Max shoved it in his pocket and fumbled through the book to page seventy two.

During the class, Tess would surreptitiously caught Max’s eye and made a gesture with her thumb and little finger by her hair, indicating that he should call her. Max looked quickly away and back to his book.

God this girl was desperate.

And I wasn’t the only one to think that, having read Max’s mind.

“Good on you Max. Starting to finally mature?” I smiled.

*

Unfortunately for the both of us, Tess was waiting for Max outside his English class later in the morning. How she had managed to score his class timetable in the space of a few hours showed ingenuity at least.

“Hi Max!” Tess greeted in an annoyingly high voice.

“Oh, hey.” Max replied, beginning to walk down towards the cafeteria – the direction made obvious by the aroma of burnt macaroni and cheese in the air.

“I thought maybe you would like to sit with my and my friends over lunch?” Tess got straight to the point. “You don’t know anyone here do you?”

“I, uh, well…” Max wanted desperately to have an excuse not to join her, but didn’t really want to sit on his own either.

Thinking on my feet, I prompted a thought in the head of a boy exiting Max’s English class behind us to interrupt.

“Actually, Max was going to have lunch with me.” The boy interjected.

“You?” Tess scoffed.

Max looked the boy over and he seemed harmless enough – more like a stray puppy than the viper by his side.

“That’s right. Maybe another time Tess.” Max smiled, and made a hasty exit with the boy.

“Thanks for that.” Max smiled gratefully.

“No worries. We can’t have you sucked in by the vortex that is Tess Harding on your first day at school.” The boy smiled in return, before putting out his hand. “My name is Alex by the way.”

“Max.” Max took Alex’s hand and shook it.

“Yeah, I got that.” Alex smiled, and Max looked a little embarrassed, having realised that Alex had already called him by his name.

They both stepped into the cafeteria and joined the line for food.

“So, what’s your poison, and when I say poison, I mean it literally.” Alex joked, turning his nose up at the food on offer.

Max could see what he meant. Burnt macaroni and cheese or dry meatloaf? Decisions, decisions.

Me? I found it highly amusing. Since I didn’t need to eat, I wanted see Max force himself to eat this rubbish. I could just picture it lining his arteries with fat. I wondered whether it was in my job description to stop him from eating something that could kill him – eventually. I decided that no, my job was limited to immediate threats, so I stood back and just laughed.

“I think I’ll stick to the fruit.” Max decided, eyeing the untouched bowl of apples and bananas on the other end of the counter.

Damn.

“I like how you think.” Alex replied. “I’ll join you in that.”

The two boys grabbed their fruit and headed outside where there was some sunshine.

“That’s where I sit.” Alex pointed to the couple seated under a tree in the direction they were heading. “Maria and I have been friends forever, and Michael, well, he’s Maria’s on-again off-again boyfriend. It seems today they are on-again.”

“Hey Alex, who’s your friend?” Maria asked, squinting into the sun.

“Maria, Michael, this is Max. It’s his first day and I just rescued him from Tess’ clutches.” Alex explained.

“Oh man you are lucky Max. Tess is an evil gerbil. Don’t let down your guard when you are near her or you’ll never escape alive.” Maria shivered at the thought.

“C’mon, she can’t be that bad.” Max replied, taking a seat on the grass and chowing down on his apple.

“Last term, she was dating Todd Stringer, captain of the football team. One day he came to school with one of his ears pierced and wearing one of Tess’ diamond earrings – she was wearing the matching one. She even started picking out his clothes. In the end his team gave him so much crap about it that he had a breakdown and had to quit the team. Tess dumped his ass immediately and set her sights on the new captain.” Maria explained.

“Well, I should be safe then – I don’t plan on joining the football team.” Max shrugged.

“Yes, but you have something that even the football captain doesn’t have.” Maria began.

Max gave her an inquisitive look.

“You are fresh and new and completely moldable into whatever Tess wants you to be. She can make you the most popular guy in school, thereby forever cementing her place as the most popular and envied girl in school, and nobody would argue otherwise.”

“Me?” Max asked incredulously.

“Yeah, Max?” I echoed.

“Why not? You’ve got that whole sexy James Dean thing going on with that leather jacket.” Maria pointed out.

“Hey!” Michael piped up, indicating for the first time that he could actually speak.

“But not sexier than you honey-bear.” Maria immediately consoled Michael with a kiss.

“Hh-hmmm.” Alex cleared his throat. “Remember the rule? Not when others are present.”

“Sorry.” Maria blushed.

“You make it sound like Tess runs this school.” Max returned to the subject at hand.

“She might as well the way everyone follows her. Did I mention she’s captain of the cheer squad?”

Max rolled his eyes at the thought.

Instead of sharing in Max’s contempt, I felt a twang of resentment towards him for that reaction. What the hell?

“Anyway, stick with us and we’ll protect you.” Maria promised.

I really liked this girl. She’s the kind of girl I could imagine myself having been friends with when I was alive.

And she was going to make my job that much easier.

Thanks for the feedback guys. I'm glad you are enjoying it!

Here's the next chapter...


Chapter 4

“So… how’s your ward?” Jake asked. Max was currently asleep and snoring. It was time’s like these that I wish I had earmuffs. I could tune out his thoughts, but not his voice – or other bodily noises…

“Lucky to be alive. For the last hour I’ve been trying to work out whether smothering his face with a pillow would be a breach of my duty.” I joked.

“Hang in there. I’m sure it will get better.” Jake replied, albeit with a snigger.

“Maybe if I can convince him to buy some nose plugs tomorrow… The snoring is starting to grate on me.” I responded.

“How was your first day of school?” Jake asked, changing the subject.

It occurred to me that I hadn’t updated him of that development. How did he know that we went to school?

“Have you been spying on me?” I demanded. I knew Jake was there to listen when I needed him, but what I didn’t know is that he could listen in without me knowing.

I felt violated.

I felt like Max would feel if he ever found out that there was someone here listening to his every thought and watching his every movement.

“I wouldn’t call it spying exactly… just looking out for you.” Jake replied flustered.

“In that case..." I said sarcastically. "It was great. It was nice to be doing something different to break the routine.” I replied, trying to overlook the intrusion as much as I could for the moment.

“I knew you would love it. You always did love school.” Jake reminisced.

“That’s the second time you have talked about my past life as if you knew me then. What gives?” I demanded. And I wouldn’t let him weasel his way out of it this time.

“You know I can’t talk to you about your past life. I have said too much already.” Jake sighed.

“Why did you? Why did you let me know that you knew me before… before I was like this? If you were going to refuse to say anymore?” I asked. Why couldn’t he have kept me in the dark so that I didn’t know that he had information I wanted?

“I don’t know… I guess because I like you.” Jake admitted.

“So then tell me more. If you like me then you won’t want me to feel so lost.” I used his feelings for me, whatever they were, to get more from him.

“You know the rules. If you know too much about who you were, you’ll go looking. You’ll get distracted and you can’t do your job while your no longer putting your ward first.”

“And sitting here obsessing about what might or might not have been is any better? If I knew the truth I could let it go.” I promised.

“I don’t think you could. I can guarantee that if you knew everything then you wouldn’t be able to continue doing your duty.” Jake assured me.

“Can you just tell me one thing?” I asked.

“Depends on what that one thing is?” Jake asked cautiously, ensuring he wasn’t digging a hole for himself.

“Did I used to be a cheerleader?” I blurted.

“Sera…” Jake warned.

“Please? I promise I won’t ask you anything else.” I promised, crossing my fingers behind my back just in case I didn’t mean it.

“Fine…” Jake sighed. “You were the captain of the squad.”

Jake signed off and I was left to think about what he had said. Admittedly it wasn’t much, but the confirmation that my instincts had been right about the cheerleading thing, meant that there was something in my subconscious that remembered things from my past. If I could just learn to pay attention to those feelings, then maybe I could sort out my past life for myself, without involving Jake.

*

“Class, this week’s assignment will require you to form pairs and work on the project together.” Mr Jones announced at the beginning of Max’s English class.

Maria and Alex immediately signaled to each other that they would work together, and Max looked nervously around the room at who he could possibly pair up with before the inevitable happened.

But it was too late.

“Max? Would like to pair up?” Tess’ voice interrupted Max’s roaming.

I urged Max to say no, which he did, but Tess wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“Everyone else has already paired up. It’s just you and me.” Tess explained.

Max looked around the room again, and sure enough, everyone was happily sitting in pairs. He looked over at Maria and Alex for help, but they were in a heated discussion, neither of them wanting to volunteer to work with Tess in order to save Max.

“Is there a problem here Max?” Mr Jones’ voice boomed from the front of the room.

“No Sir.” Max replied.

“Very good. Take your seat next to Max then Tess.” Mr Jones ordered.

I felt a little guilty for not being able to steer Tess off course once she had it set in her mind to ask Max to work with her, but I hadn’t been tuning in to her and hadn’t seen it coming. I had been too busy wondering whether I was a good English student when I had been alive, or whether cheerleading had been my life.

Maybe Jake was right – obsessing about the past was going to impact on my ability to do my job. Albeit it wasn’t a life and death situation, but as Max and Tess made plans to catch up in the library later to work on the project, it occurred to me that my lack of concentration had burdened me with having to spend more time with Tess too.

Crap.

“So I’ll see you at the library at 7pm?” Max confirmed.

“Actually… My car is in the shop being repaired. Could you pick me up?” Tess battered her eyelids.

“Uh, sure … I guess.” Max replied.

Tess gave Max her address, followed by a seductive smile as she walked away. This was going to be a long night if I had to watch Tess throw herself at Max all night. Even longer if Max gave into it – and judging by how he was spending his nights only last week, I had no hope of him holding out.

This was going to be a long, long night.

*

Lunch was an improvement. I really enjoyed hanging out with Maria and Alex. Even Michael was fun, although he didn’t say much. When he did, it was usually because he was arguing with Maria, but you could also tell how much he loved her. He was sweet, in his own stubborn way.

“Are you guys meeting up tonight to work on your assignment?” Max addressed Maria and Alex.

“I have to work, so Alex is going to come in to work so that we can talk between customers.” Maria explained.

“Where do you work?” Max asked.

“The Crashdown. The alien-themed diner on Main Street. Have you been?” Maria asked.

The Crashdown? Why did that sound familiar?

I observed the colour drain from Max’s face, although the others didn’t seem to notice.

“Uh, no, I haven’t.” Max replied quietly. “I don’t go over to that side of town very much.”

“Why don’t you come tonight? The foods actually not too bad, and the service is impeccable.” Maria grinned.

“Sounds great, but I have to meet Tess to work on our assignment tonight.” Max declined.

No. That was unacceptable. I prodded Max’s brain.

“But I don’t have to pick her up until 7pm, so I could probably come by beforehand. My Uncle will be out for dinner tonight anyway.” Max agreed, although could not understand why he was saying ‘yes’ to something he really didn’t want to do.

Maria was looking at Max strangely, like she was confused, or just really concentrating. Actually, no, she wasn’t looking at Max, she was looking past him, over his shoulder, at me.

Holy crap!

“What’s wrong?” Max asked, also sensing Maria looking at him strangely. “Do I have something in my teeth?”

“What?” Maria blurted, shaking her head and bringing her attention back to Max. “Oh, no, I thought I just felt something… It’s nothing.” Maria explained, still frowning.

“So we’ll see you tonight at the Crashdown?” Alex confirmed with Max as the bell rang to indicate the end of lunch.

“I’ll be there.” Max replied, although reluctantly.

And I would make sure he would be. Not only did I want to check out why the Crashdown seemed familiar, but I also wanted to keep an eye on Maria. I was sure that she had been looking right at me.

But that was impossible.

Right?

An update so soon! I can't believe it myself


Chapter 5

Max hesitated outside the front of the Crashdown. It had been nagging at me all afternoon as to why he was so against the idea of going, so I shuffled through his thoughts.

Of course.

The kids that were in the car that swerved to avoid him used to hang out here. The one that died used to work here. It had been all over the papers after the accident. Her parents actually owned the Crashdown. Max had never dared to set foot inside since the accident. He was too ashamed.

But now, he just wanted to fit in. He wanted to have friends. He wanted to belong. So he was willing to take the risk.

Or else I was just too good at being able to convince Max that it was really his idea, not mine.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed the front door open, and it made a chiming noise from the bell attached to the door. I shuddered as tried to dispel the feeling that I was coming home.

“Hey Max!” Maria greeted Max. She gave a quick look over Max’s shoulder but gave no sign that she sensed my presence.

“Expecting someone else to be with me?” Max asked.

“I was just making sure you hadn’t decided to bring the gerbil with you.” Maria screwed up her face at the thought of having to serve Tess.

“Nope, it’s just me.” Max replied.

“Great. I’ll show you to your seat. Booth or table?” Maria asked.

“Ah, booth I guess.” Max replied.

Maria showed Max to a booth on the far side of the café, but I didn’t move. Everything about the place seemed familiar. The smells, the sounds, the mural on the wall.

“Liz painted that.” Maria said, as if reading my thoughts. I was startled for a moment before I realized that Max was looking up at it too. I let out the breath I had been holding, despite the fact that angels don’t need to breathe.

“Liz.” Max repeated quietly. It wasn’t a question. It was more like a sigh.

“You knew Liz?” Maria asked.

“No, not exactly.” Max replied.

“Of course, it was in all of the papers. You would have read about the accident.” Maria didn’t wait for Max to explain how he knew of her.

“She was my best friend. Some days I still can’t quite believe that she is gone.” Maria sighed.

“I thought I was your best friend.” Alex digged Maria in the ribs trying to get a smile. He had just walked in to the Crashdown and caught the tail end of the conversation.

“You know I love you Alex, but you don’t have the right chromosomes to really get me.” Maria replied. “Liz did.”

“I know.” Alex said, giving Maria a hug around the shoulders. “And you know I miss her too, right?”

“You were both friends with her?” Max asked, almost with a gulp.

“The three musketeers, ever since we met on the first day of school.” Maria explained. “Unfortunately her parents decided to send her to East Roswell High, rather than West Roswell with us. They’ll never admit it, but I think they thought I was a distraction for Liz. They had big plans for her… She was going to go to Harvard to become a scientist.”

“Little did her parents know, that splitting us up caused Liz to fall into a different crowd. She made friends with the ‘popular’ kids at school, became captain of the cheerleading squad, dated the quarterback, and her grades began to slip.” Alex continued.

“I always wonder what would have happened if she had come with us to West Roswell. I guess we’ll never know…” Maria explained, pulling out a tissue to dab her eyes. “Anyway, I should get back to work before Agnes busts me for slacking off. Can I get you a drink while you peruse the menu?” Maria asked.

“A cherry coke?” Max replied, taking a seat in the booth and picking up the menu.

“Make that two.” Alex said, taking a seat opposite Max.

I didn’t sit. I was too busy looking around the Crashdown and trying to find anything else that might trigger a memory, or that feeling that I’ve been here before. I felt like I was so close to discovering the truth, I wasn’t going to miss my opportunity to hover over Max while he made small talk with Alex.

I walked around the Crashdown, touching the counter, looking at the pictures on the wall, trying to tap into that feeling that I have been here before. But everything feels out of my grasp. A memory that is dangling on the horizon, but I just can’t seem to reach it. It just feels like a major case of deja vu.

So instead, I decide to watch Maria, and try to find out how much she could sense me. I couldn’t risk having anyone know that I’m here.

“So, Maria, tell me about yourself…” I began, as I took a seat on one of the stools at the counter. “How long have you been working here?”

Maria was filling up two glasses of cherry coke and had her back to me.

“How long have you been dating Michael? How did you two get together? You seem so different, yet you seem to really love each other...” I continued.

There was not response. She didn’t falter, or pause, or acknowledge in anyway that she heard me. Maybe yesterday had just been a figment of my imagination - the product of my paranoid mind.

My attention turned to the sound of the door ring as it opened. I looked over and saw a boy, my age, walking into the café. He was wearing a letterman jacket, but not from Max’s school. He must attend East Roswell High, just like Liz had.

The sight of him took my breath away.

I knew him.

I really knew him.

I just wish I knew how.

He surveyed the café, looking for a place to sit with the pose of friends that had followed him in, all also wearing matching letterman jackets. The boy’s eyes settled on where Max and Alex were sitting, and on Max in particular. The colour drained from his face, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up and he clenched his right fist.

I was immediately back in guardian mode, despite my earlier distraction with the café, and this boy. The boy meant to harm Max, and it was my job to prevent it.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing here?” The boy demanded, having made it over to Max and Alex’s table in just three long strides.

“We’re knitting a sweater.” Alex retorted with a smile, not too taken aback by the boy’s demeanor.

“I wasn’t talking to you Alex.”

So the boy knew Alex’s name. They had history.

“Max is new here, and Maria and I invited him for a bite to eat. Do you have a problem with that?” Alex asked, genuinely surprised.

“I do.” The boy replied.

“What’s going on Kyle?” Maria asked, having made her way over from the counter to run interference.

“Do you know who this guy is?” Kyle asked Maria.

“Yes… he’s Max. He’s our friend.” Maria replied.

“Do you know what he did?” Kyle asked a different question.

“Why don’t you enlighten us?” Maria sighed, not having time for twenty questions when there were customers to feed.

“I’ll just go.” Max interrupted, rising to leave.

“No, Max, stay.” Maria replied with her voice of authority. You could tell very few would disobey Maria when she used that voice. Max meekly sat.

“This…” Kyle began, his voice starting to break. “This is the guy that stepped out in front of my car when…”

“No!” Maria gasped, her hand immediately covering her mouth to hide her shock. “It can’t be true. Max?”

Max couldn’t meet Maria’s eyes, or Alex’s for that matter. He just hung his head.

“How dare you set foot in here!” Kyle now turned his attention to Max. “How dare you come into her place after what you did!”

“I’m s-sorry… I’ll just go…” Max said, rising from the table again.

This time, I didn’t think anyone was going to stop him, but Kyle grabbed him on the shoulder as Max tried to push passed.

“This isn’t the end of it.” Kyle threatened.

Max nodded in resignation.

I followed Max out of the Crashdown, but not before glancing at Maria and Alex. They were both watching Max’s retreating form with a stunned look on their face. They hadn’t seen that coming.

I felt a little guilty. Okay, I felt very guilty. It had been my fault that Max was in this position. I had pushed him to agree to go to the Crashdown because I was desperate for answers. Now I had cost Max the only two friends he had in Roswell.

This was all my fault.

“I’m sorry Max. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t know…” I tried to explain, not that he could hear me.

But it felt better to say it.

*

I shouldn’t have been at all surprised when Max turned his car in the direction of his favourite pub, rather than home, or at the very least, Tess’ house.

But that’s not to say that I wasn’t disappointed.

I peeked into Max’s brain as he was downing another beer, to see the heartache he was feeling. The guilt he had over the accident was still so raw, and today’s events had only brought everything back to the surface.

Way to go Sera.

Way to go Jake. If only he had told me more about my past, I wouldn’t have gone digging. I wouldn’t have messed up so badly. I wouldn’t feel so guilty, and responsible, and sorry.

No, it wasn’t fair to blame Jake. I knew the rules when I accepted this assignment – it was how it was supposed to be. I can’t let my search for my past life interfere with my assignment. Max was my priority and I was doing a bad job of showing it.

Max would go to school tomorrow and have no one to talk to except for that blonde femme fatale. And I would have to watch it all without being able to do a thing.

There’s karma for you.

I wish there was something I could do to make this right. Sure Max wasn’t my favourite person in the world, but the more time I spent with him, the more good I saw in him. He wasn’t all bad, and he didn’t deserve this.

And he definitely didn’t deserve to have to put up with that blonde gerbil who had just walked into the bar.

“Hey Max. What happened to you?” Tess asked, as she took up residence on a bar stool next to Max.

“Long story.” Max replied, taking another gulp.

“You were supposed to pick me up over an hour ago.” Tess added, digging for an apology for being kept waiting.

“What? Oh, right, sorry. Something came up and it slipped my mind.” Max replied, starting to feel a little dazed from the alcohol.

“Is everything okay?” Tess asked, placing a gentle hand on his arm.

And I suddenly felt the desire to puke.

“Just some stuff from the past that I’m dealing with.” Max replied, not wanting to spill his guts to Tess.

“You know that I’m here for you Max, if you ever want to talk. I hope you count me as one of your friends.” Tess smiled.

Max shook his head with a wry smile on his face. “That makes one of you.”

“You’re friends with those Maria and Alex people aren’t you?” Tess asked. “I’ve seen you hanging around with them.”

“I don’t think they want to be my friend anymore.” Max replied, taking another swig of his beer.

“It’s their loss then.” Tess battered her eyelids.

Oh please.

Not wanting to listen to any more sweet-talking, I decided to pry into Tess’ head instead to see just what her game plan was.

And I immediately wished I hadn’t.

The girl had some serious fetishes that she was currently fantasising about, which starred Max as the main character. This girl was a solid contender for the porn industry as her career of choice.

There was a time, in the not too distant past, that I would have believed that Max would have been all for it. What guy wouldn’t want this girl throwing herself at them, and wanting them to fulfill every one of their sexual fantasies with her? But now I wasn’t so sure. Max was deeper than that. He deserved more than that.

I had to do something.

“Max. Finish your beer and go home. Alone.” I ordered.

“Why don’t we go back to my place? We don’t have to work on the assignment if you don’t want to. We could just, I don’t know, hang out?” Tess suggested.

“I think I should be getting home.” Max replied, grabbing his keys.

“That a boy Max.” I cheered.

“Are you sure you want to be alone? I could come with you.” Tess wouldn’t give up.

“I’ll be fine Tess.” Max replied. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Max walked out of the bar and I could have done a cartwheel for saving him, and me, from a night with that sex-freak.

The cartwheel was a little premature though. As Max put the keys in the door of his car, Tess tapped him on the shoulder. As he turned around, Tess lunged at him, kissing him, with tongue, and a hand on the bulge in his pants.

“No Max, stop kissing her. Stop it!” I screamed.

But his subconscious ignored me.

It seemed an order from a guardian angel was not as strong as a teenage boy’s bodily urges.

“Oh please, you can do so much better than her.” I whined, covering my eyes as much as I could. I pulled out of Max’s brain because the thoughts that were going through his head were getting as graphic as Tess’ had been earlier that night.

“Max. I know you are hurting, and I know you feel alone in this world, but you’re not alone. You have me.” I tried to reason with him.

“We can’t do this.” Max said, pushing Tess away.

Yes!

“Not here.” He continued.

No!

“I’ll follow you home.” Max said, indicating that Tess should get in her car and he would follow in his. It didn’t occur to him to wonder how Tess had managed to bring her car which was supposedly in the shop.

It had occurred to me.

I narrowed my eyes. I guess I was going to have to keep an eye on this girl more closely to ensure there were no more lies.

Tess gave him one more squeeze before strutting back to her car which was parked two parks away.

“Seriously? You’re going to tap that? You could catch a disease.” I heckled. I had given up on sane reason and was going with scare tactics.

Max pulled out of the parking lot and followed Tess’ car.

“What would your parents think? You barely know the girl. You sure as hell aren’t in love with her. And you are willing to risk your health and your reputation for a quick screw? This isn’t some random woman in a bar. This is someone that you are going to have to see every day at school.” I asked.

“What am I doing?” Max asked to himself.

What the hell? Did I get through to him?

Max slowed his car and, rather than following Tess to the northern end of town, he turned his car in the direction of his uncle’s house.

I made a mental note. If I can’t get through to Max, use the parent card. It will work every time.

“Good decision.” I praised him.

But I knew we weren’t out of the woods yet. Without friends like Maria and Alex at school, Max was going to be alone. He was going to be susceptible to Tess’ advances.

He needed a friend.

Another part. I'm on a role! Thanks for all the feedback guys, it always makes my day when I log on and see your comments.


Chapter 6

“Hey Max.” Tess greeted Max as he walked up the steps towards the school entrance the next morning. She was much chipper than I had expected considering we had ditched her the night before. “Where did you get to last night?”

“I… I decided that I wanted to be alone after all. I’m sorry Tess, I should have called.” Max apologised. Unfortunately it was sincere.

“That’s okay Max. I understand.” Tess smiled. Not so sincere, but such a good actress, I had to give her that. “We still need to get together for our English project. How about we meet up at the library after school today to work on it?”

Neutral ground, not a bed in sight. I almost approved of that arrangement.

“Sounds good.” Max replied. “I’ll see you then Tess.”

Max turned to leave, but Tess had other ideas.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Tess smiled.

Max racked his brain.

“We have first period together silly.” Tess giggled, linking her arm in Max’s like they were a couple, and dragging him to class.

As I rolled my eyes, I couldn’t help but notice that I wasn’t the only one. Maria and Alex had been watching the whole exchange from the sidelines and watched Max walk away with the gerbil, not even noticing them.

I dug through Maria’s head, to see what was going on in there. She wasn’t fuming at Max like I had expected, given the revelation the night before. But she was annoyed at how unaffected Max looked about the whole thing, and by the fact that he hadn’t tried to seek her or Alex out to talk to them and try to make things right.

If only she knew what a tortured night Max had spent relieving the accident, and the revelation in the Crashdown – particularly Maria’s face when he had dared for a second to look at her before he had walked out.

If only she knew…

If only I could tell her.

*

The school day flew passed so fast, I wish it would slow down. All too soon we found ourselves headed for the library and towards a few painful hours with Tess. Why couldn’t Max have been assigned to partner someone who I didn’t hate with a passion?

It occurred to me to wonder what it was about this girl that bothered me so much. Was it her reputation? Was it because she was outgoing and assertive and prepared to stop at nothing to get what she wanted? Or was it because I had a glimpse of the things that she wanted to do with Max? Things that someone her age shouldn’t even be able to comprehend.

I told myself it was because I wanted to protect to Max. No, I needed to protect Max, it was my job. But what physical harm could she really do to him? Was it my job to protect him from being used? From being heartbroken? From having an, admittedly, beautiful girl throw herself at him?

I answered ‘yes’ to that question, but I wasn’t sure if I believed it myself. Maybe it wasn’t my duty. Maybe I was just jealous.

Jealous? Of Tess Harding? Hardly.

But I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe I was onto something there.

My musing was broken by the entrance of the blonde bimbo herself. She strutted into the library as if she was God’s gift to boys everywhere, swaying her hips and tossing her hair like she was in a slow motion movie scene. If I wasn’t mistaken, her skirt was even shorter and tighter than I had remembered it being that morning.

I scoffed at her attempts to make every male in the room lust after her, before I realised that they were working – on Max. The high regard I was beginning to hold for him decreased a notch.

“This is going to be a long night.” I sighed.

I couldn’t have been more right. I just didn’t know how right I was until much later in the evening.

“Hey Max.” Tess smiled sweetly, knowing exactly what effect her entrance had made on him.

“Tess, Hi.” Max stammered.

“So… Should we get started?” Tess asked, placing a hand on Max’s leg, close enough to his groin to get him even more flustered.

“Um… sure.” Max replied, opening the textbook to the section that they were supposed to work on. “Mr Jones has asked us to choose a piece of dialogue from one of Shakespeare’s plays, rewrite it into modern language and present it to the class on Friday…”

“I vote for Romeo and Juliet.” Tess battered her eyelids.

I nudged Max’s mind.

“Don’t you think that’s been a little overdone?” Max asked.

“Not at all. C’mon, it is one of the greatest love stories every told. It just seems so … fitting, don’t you think?”

“Oh please.” I rolled my eyes. “You’re hardly a Juliet. A Rosaline maybe.”

But I noticed that I didn’t add that Max wasn’t a Romeo. Interesting…

I nudged Max’s mind again.

“Fine, we’ll do Romeo and Juliet, but not one of the obvious scenes. We’d hate to be judged against another pair in the class doing the same.”

“What did you have in mind?” Tess asked skeptically.

“How about when Juliet and Father Laurence plot to fake her death?” Max suggested.

“Good choice.” I agreed. No romantic attachment at all. I don’t think I could stand watching them practice lines declaring their love for each other without puking.

“I don’t know…” Tess wasn’t convinced.

“We could choose another play if you want…” Max offered, knowing he would get his way. “Julius Caesar?”

“No, no. That’s fine. We’ll do the scene you suggested.” Tess agreed reluctantly. It wasn’t exactly what she had in mind, but she could see that Max wasn’t going to play it her way.

“So… how about we work through each line and try and find another way of saying it… something that we can understand.” Max continued.

“Way to go Max… Keeping to the topic and ignoring Tess’s desperate attempts to distract you by running her foot up and down your calf.” I noted.

It didn’t last long.

“Tess!” Max yelped when her hand stroked his leg too close for comfort.

“What?” Tess asked innocently.

“We’re here to study…” Max reminded her.

“I’m sorry… I can’t help it if you are so distracting.” Tess battered her eyelids.

“Is that so?” Max flirted in return, having gotten over his objections very quickly.

I rolled my eyes and, for the second time that day, and realised that I wasn’t the only one. Observing the exchange between Max and Tess was Maria and Alex. They must have entered the library in the last few minutes and were now seated a few tables away.

Maria still wanted to talk to Max, and was hoping to get a chance to get him alone, but she wasn’t willing to try with Tess hanging around. The last thing she needed was for Tess to find out what was going on between her and Max and the whole Liz thing. It would be all over school in a heartbeat, or at the very least, Tess would find some way of using the information to her advantage. Maria wasn’t willing to let her best friend’s death become a sideshow – it was complicated and confusing enough as it was.

So Maria and Alex tried to ignore Max and Tess, especially since Max was now actually flirting with Tess. Despite their warnings, it seemed that Max was that easy.

When Max eventually did look up, he realised that his flirting with Tess had an audience. His face went pale as he realised that Maria and Alex was there, and then it went bright red with embarrassment when he realised that they would have heard everything going on between himself and Tess.

He desperately wanted to talk to Maria and Alex, and find out exactly what they thought of him, but he felt that it was clear from their avoidance of him at school, that they didn’t want to have anything to do with him.

I wish I could tell him exactly how wrong he was.

Max knew he should at least apologise for what he did – even if they didn’t want to hear it, but he wouldn’t do it with Tess around. He owed them that much. So instead, he decided to make it easier on them.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Max asked Tess.

“What did you have in mind?” Tess purred.

“I think the library’s getting a little crowded.” Max replied. “How about we go back to my place?”

“No!” I yelled.

Max didn’t hear me, of course, but Maria’s head immediately whipped up and she looked like she had seen a ghost. As I tried to gauge if she was really looking at me, or at Max, Max and Tess busied themselves packing up. Max helped Tess on with her coat, and put a hand in the small of her back to lead her out of the library.

I wanted to nudge Max’s mind to try and persuade him to find an excuse to ditch Tess for the second night in a row, but I didn’t dare. I was now convinced that Maria was staring directly at me, and not at Max and Tess, who were currently walking out of the library.

I hurried to catch up to them, but as I passed Maria, I heard her whisper “Liz.”

The way she said that name was so desperate, that I stopped. A tear was sliding down Maria’s face and I felt like I had to do something to try and comfort her. But what could I do?

I chose to put my hand on her shoulder, even though she wouldn’t be able to feel me there.

So it threw me off guard when she put her hand on top of mine.

“I miss you.” Maria whispered.

I quickly pulled my hand away and backed away from Maria.

Not only could she hear me, but she could feel me too.

Holy crap!

I didn’t say anything more, but I ran out of that library as quickly as I could, soon catching up to where Max was helping Tess into the passenger side of his car. I hoped this slight lack of attention to my ward wouldn’t get noticed by the Council. To take my eyes of him for a second was unforgiveable. But then again, how much trouble could Max get into in a deserted parking lot?

As I climbed into the back seat, scowling at the girl sitting in my seat in the front, I thought about what had just happened with Maria. She could feel me. She could hear me. She called me Liz.

I could understand why she would think that I was Liz. The wounds were still fresh, especially after the night before and finding out that Max had been the one responsible for the car crash. It was only natural for her to try and cling on to her best friend. But what I couldn’t understand, was how she could hear and feel me?

There were people in this world who claim to see dead people, or be able to contact spirits and the like, so maybe Maria had ‘the gift’. It wouldn’t surprise me if she did. She came across to me as someone who believes in those types of powers.

Although I could understand what was happening, this was too much for me to handle. Too much. And what I didn’t need tonight was having to watch Max and Tess do the deed when I had so much other stuff going around my head.

“This is a bad idea Max.” I warned. “Just drop Tess off at home and tell her you have a headache.”

“Are you hungry? We could swing passed the pizza place?” Max suggested.

“Aren’t you listening to me?” I demanded.

“I’m really not that hungry.” Tess replied, not wanting Max to have time to get cold feet this time.

“Don’t take her back to your place.” I continued.

“Here we are.” Max announced, pulling up his driveway.

“Don’t invite her inside.” I ordered.

“You’ll have to excuse the mess.” Max apologised, as he opened the front door. “With it just being me and my uncle, we live like bachelors.”

“Where is your uncle?” Tess asked, noting the absence of anyone else at home.

Max picked up the note that had been left on the kitchen counter.

“Watching the baseball game at a friend’s place. He won’t be home until late.”

“Don’t take her up to your room!” This time I yelled, hoping that I could get through to Max. Max’s room was my sanctuary. It was where I got time and space to think. I didn’t want him letting Tess into that space. I needed it right now.

“Did you hear that?” Max asked, whirling around to the window where he thought he had heard a sound.

I’d done it, I’d gotten through to him!

“Would you like to come up to my room?” Max asked Tess.

“What? You are going to ignore me?” I asked.

He was.

Max took Tess by the hand and led her up the staircase to the landing and then opened the door to his room. “Like I said, excuse the mess.”

Max quickly picked up yesterday’s clothes that were still lying on the floor and threw them in the hamper.

“So…” Tess said, taking a step closer to Max and putting her hands on his chest.

“So…” Max replied, placing his hands on Tess’ shoulders.

I nudged Max’s mind as much as I could, begging him to stop, but he kept going. Running his hands down Tess’ arms and leaning down to kiss her.

And then the phone rang. I said a silent thank you to whoever was on the other end of that call.

“Sorry.” Max apologised, reaching for his phone and turning it onto silent without even checking the caller ID.

I did. It was Maria.

“Where were we?” Max asked Tess, returning to his former position.

I noticed Max’s phone begin to vibrate again, and I looked over to see that Maria’s name came up on the caller ID again. I discreetly switched the phone off vibrate, and the ring peeled through the room.

“I’m sorry, I thought I turned that off.” Max apologised. He reached for his phone again, turned it off fully this time, and threw it down on the desk.

There was nothing I could do now without it looking completely suspicious.

Max and Tess continued their heated kissing, and slowly moved to Max’s bed, with Max now minus his shirt.

“Oh, please in the name of all that is holy…” I pleaded.

“Did you say something?” Max asked Tess.

“No, but if I had it would have been to tell you not to stop.” Tess replied, enveloping Max’s mouth again in hers.

“Max!” I screamed this time, at the top of my lungs.

“Who is that?” Max asked confused. Now completely pulling away from Tess he looked around the room. He even went so far as to open the window and look out onto the street below. It was empty.

Max pulled the curtains back, but I didn’t want to lose my opportunity to get through to him.

“Max, please you have to listen to me. Don’t do this. I can’t cope with this at the moment. Don’t you understand something monumental has happened to me tonight? Maria felt me, she did. I need time to process that. I need you to get rid of Tess and go to sleep. I can’t cope with this… with you and her. Please Max, I need this.” I begged and pleaded. I knew he wouldn’t be able to hear every word I said, but I was hoping that the feeling I was invoking would be understood.

“Are you okay?” Tess asked, sitting up on Max’s bed.

Max whipped his head around and seemed surprised for a moment that Tess was still there.

“I… I don’t know.” Max replied. “I feel a little strange…”

“Come here. I’ll make you feel better…” Tess purred.

Max looked back to the side of the room where I had been speaking to him and looked around searchingly. I knew that I almost had him, if only there was more that I could do.

And then it just happened. For an instant, I felt myself take human form. Standing in Max’s room, I could the breeze from the window on my skin. It was the first time I had ever actually felt anything real since I had died.

It was beautiful.

And then in another second it was gone, and I was back to being invisible.

But not before Max saw me.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Tess said concerned, looking at Max’s face.

“I think I just did.” Max replied.

“You’re kidding right.” Tess scoffed.

“No. I’m not.” Max stated adamantly.

“Who was it? Casper?” Tess joked.

“No. It was her.”

Next part is up. I hope you enjoy. (Sorry for any spelling mistakes etc towards the end - it's 1:40am here and I was literally falling asleep at the computer writing this).


Chapter 7

No, no, no, no, no… this couldn’t be happening. How as it even possible?

I am an angel. Incorporeal. Invisible. Ethereal.

I am not human. I have no flesh and blood. I cannot take human form.

Yet somehow I just did.

I felt Jake at the border of my mind, trying to contact me, but I shut him out. I needed time to think. I couldn’t deal with the distraction. Or the lecture that was sure to come.

All I had wanted was for Max to get rid of Tess so that I could concentrate on what had happened with Maria at the library. For the second time since I had met her, she had felt my presence. It wasn’t possible. I wasn’t assigned to her, and I never tried to communicate with her. But she had felt my presence when I had tried communicating with Max – nudging his mind to do what I wanted. How could she possibly know I was there when even Max hadn’t?

She must have the gift. They had warned us in our training that we may come across ‘psychics’ who, if genuine, would be able to sense our presence. I hadn’t expected it from Maria, but I should have. You never know just who has the gift – age isn’t a determiner. I should have been more careful.

But she thought I was Liz. Her best friend who had recently died. I know that there is no possible way that the Council would have assigned Liz to watch over the boy responsible for her death – it just made no sense whatsoever. So the only thing I could put it down to was that Maria was so desperate for it to be Liz, that she just assumed that the ‘presence’ she felt, that is, me, was her best friend.

I could understand that. The only thing now to work out was how I was going to use my power to change people’s actions and wills, to protect Max, if I didn’t want Maria to know I was there?

Somehow in amongst my ranting, Max had convinced Tess to leave, and he was now reentering the room, closing the door behind him.

“Liz? Are you there?” Max asked, looking around the room, expecting me to jump out at any moment.

And there they go with the ‘Liz’ thing again. Why was both Maria and Max so convinced I was her?

Because they wanted me to be. Maria because she missed her best friend, and Max, because he held onto so much guilt that he wanted Liz to haunt him from beyond the grave – to punish him for what he did.

I barely breathed, even though I knew Max wouldn’t be able to hear or feel me there unless I wanted him to.

Max slowly stepped around the room, hands and arms outstretched as if he expected to be able to ‘feel’ me there. For a second his hand slid right through me, and it caused me to gasp. Sure it had happened before while I was in his proximity, but I was never actually able to feel it before.

And it felt good.

I was going to be in big trouble now. Not only could I somehow manifest myself into human form, but a part of me now actually desired to, just to feel Max’s touch for real.

I was losing it surely. I did not have those kinds of feelings for Max. It was not possible. I hated the guy… at least … I did, in the beginning. Sure I had realised that there was more to him than met the eye, and sometimes I did feel sorry for him, but lust after him? No way.

But I guess that would explain why I had been so determined to keep him and Tess apart.

“Sera. What’s going on?” Jake finally got through now that I had let my guard down.

I looked around and saw Max sitting on his bed with his head in his hands, trying to understand what he had just seen. He was starting to think that he was crazy. Good. Maybe that meant I was in the clear.

“Nothing. Everything is under control.” I replied, hoping that Jake hadn’t seen enough to know what had really gone on here tonight.

“Really? Because from what I could see, it looked like you let Max see you.” Jake pointed out.

He had been watching. Crap.

“I don’t even know how I did it… I didn’t know it was even possible.” I stammered, trying to justify what had happened.

“It’s difficult. Someone of your immaturity shouldn’t be able to do it.” Jake replied.

“Immaturity?” I scoffed. Nice way to make a girl feel good about herself.

“You know what I mean. Someone who has only just become a guardian. Someone without that level of training.” Jake explained.

“So what does that mean? I’m wise beyond my years?” I joked.

“Something like that. I think we should have you checked out. I’ll request to have your brought back and have someone else assigned to Max while we figure things out.” Jake announced.

“No!” I cried.

“I thought you were desperate to get off of this assignment. Now’s your chance.” Jake said surprised. He obviously thought he had been doing me a favour.

A week ago I would have thought so too.

“I’m not going to fail this assignment.” I argued.

“Don’t consider it as failing. You have to come back for further training – training that you shouldn’t have needed for many years to come. We couldn’t have foreseen this.” Jake countered.

“I’m not ready to go back yet.” I replied.

“Why not?” Jake asked, now getting suspicious. “You don’t have feelings for the guy do you?”

“Of course not.” I scoffed. “I just feel like I’m just getting started here.”

“You can start over with someone else.” Jake replied.

“Are you ordering me back? Is the decision final?” I asked, cutting to the point.

“I’m not ordering you… yet. I will consult with the Council and be in touch.” Jake answered. “In the meantime, please promise me that you’ll be careful not to take human form again. There are consequences that you can’t yet comprehend.”

“Okay. I promise.” I replied. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

Jake took the hint and backed out of my mind. I was now left in the room with Max who was still looking haunted.

I watched as he studied a newspaper clipping that contained a photo of a girl. Looking over his shoulder I saw the caption note that the girl’s name was Liz Parker. Max had obviously kept the article about the accident. Pretty morbid if you ask me.

So that’s what Liz looked like. Long brown hair, petite figure, friendly smile. If I really was Liz, which I still didn’t believe, then surely I should have some reaction to seeing this photo, right? But I felt nothing. This girl was a stranger to me. It confirmed my theory that I wasn’t her.

“Why are you haunting me?” Max whispered.

I wondered whether I should answer him. A little nudge in his mind so he wouldn’t even know it was me. He would think it was his own reasoning.

“It was just your overactive imagination, with everything that happened at the Crashdown yesterday.”

“She was so real. I could have sworn she was standing in my room.” Max continued, arguing with himself – with me.

“You sound crazy.” I replied.

“I must be going crazy.” Max repeated.

“You just need some sleep.” I finished.

Max put the newspaper clipping back in the shoebox it had obviously come from and placed the shoebox back in its place at the back of his wardrobe. He then stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed.

As his eyes began to close ready for sleep, he hummed the lyric to a song that I recognised but couldn’t place. It must have been a song I had heard in my past life.

“…Come back and haunt me…”

Don’t tempt me Max Evans.

*

Max walked into school Monday morning and for the first time Tess wasn’t waiting for him. He guessed that she was staying clear of the nutcase who could see dead people.

He wasn’t far from the truth at all. Tess was desperate to use Max to build her popularity at school, so finding out he could be potentially crazy was too much of an unknown quantity for her to take a risk on.

Max didn’t mind, he couldn’t concentrate on anything other than ‘Liz’. He had spent the entire weekend locked in his room, trying to get a sense she was there. He ignored his phone, and the dozens of messages from Maria, and he ignored his uncle under the pretense that he was studying hard to make up for lost time.

But there was someone waiting for Max as he walked up the steps towards the school. Maria was leaning against the school building, having been surveying the parking lot to find Max the moment he arrived. She watched him approach, and I felt her eyes peer at him as if she was hoping that she could see me if she squinted hard enough. I made sure I didn’t do anything that would alert her of my presence. In the absence of life and death situations, Max would have to fend for himself. Eventually she gave up and returned her attention to Max who was now standing in front of her.

“Max. We need to talk.” Maria blurted.

“Now?” Max asked, knowing the bell was about to ring any moment.

“Not here. Can you meet me tonight at the bleachers? Alex, Michael and I are planning to watch the football game and I thought we could talk beforehand.”

“Okay.” Max agreed.

“You promise? You’re not going to go AWOL again?” Maria narrowed her eyes, reminding Max of the fact that he hasn’t been the easiest person to get a hold of.

“I’ll be there, I promise.” Max replied. “I’m sorry for not returning your calls on the weekend, I just, I had a lot on my mind and I wanted to talk to you in person rather than over the phone.”

“Just make sure you’re there tonight.” Maria warned, not indicating whether she had forgiven Max or not.

*

Max tentatively approached the bleachers after school. A good crowd had already assembled ready to cheer on the West Roswell football team. They were playing East Roswell, and there were supporters from both teams waving their team’s banners and dressed in their team’s colours.

Maria saw Max from where she had seats secured up in the bleachers, and indicated that she would come down to Max, rather than him come up. She was down to us in a moment, and immediately dragged Max behind the bleachers.

“Wow, you don’t waste time do you?” Tess scoffed on her way passed with a gaggle of matching bimbo friends.

“You’re just jealous.” Maria sneered, forcing Tess to walk away in a huff. I guess she was all talk, and really had believed that Max could have been the real deal.

“So…” Max addressed Maria when Tess was out of sight.

“So. I wanted to talk to you about Liz.” Maria began.

“I’m so sorry Maria. You can’t imagine what you must think of me. You don’t know how I wish I could turn back time and do that night over again. I shouldn’t have been out drinking, and I should have watched where I was going. You can’t imagine the guilt I have felt since that night, knowing that someone died because of me. It should have been me. I’m so sorry Maria… tell me what I can do to make amends. I really value your friendship and Alex’s.” Max apologised.

“Max, I’m not going to even pretend that I can easily forget what you did. And I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive. Liz was my best friend and I’ve lost her. At least…” Maria began.

“At least what?” Max caught Maria’s hopefulness in those last words.

“Nothing, forget it.” Maria refused to follow that train of thought.

“Tell me, please.” Max begged. He had a suspicion that what Maria had to say would confirm that he wasn’t crazy after all.

“It’s just that lately, well, when I’m around you, I get the feeling that Liz is still here.” Maria admitted, feeling completely ridiculous for saying it out loud. She hadn’t even mentioned it to Michael, although she had badly wanted to.

“You too?” Max replied.

“You’ve felt her?” Maria gasped.

“More than that. On Friday night, I think she appeared to me in my room.”

Maria gasped. “At the library I was sure that I felt her hand on my shoulder.” Maria admitted.

“Oh thank goodness I’m not the only one going crazy here.” Max sighed in relief. “Are you sure it was Liz?”

“I can’t see her, but I feel a presence around you sometimes. At the library I confronted her, I called her name, and I felt a pressure on my shoulder, like a hand.” Maria explained. “If it wasn’t Liz, why would she have touched me?”

“I never met Liz when she was alive, but I kept a photo of her from the paper. I’m sure the person I saw in my room was her.” Max replied.

“I have a photo.” Maria said, reaching into her bag and pulling out her purse. Tucked inside was a tattered photo of Liz.

Max studied it for a moment.

“That’s definitely her.” Max replied with a certainty.

“It can’t be.” I disagreed. “It doesn’t make sense.”

“Did you feel that?” Maria grabbed Max’s shoulder and looked in my direction.

“No.” Max replied honestly.

“Liz?” Maria asked hesitantly.

I didn’t make a sound.

“Maria? What are you doing with this low life?” We were interrupted by Kyle. He was dressed in his football uniform, carried his helmet and was on his way to the field for the game to start.

“We’re just talking Kyle. It’s none of your business.” Maria replied.

“It is my business when you’re consorting with the guy who is responsible for Liz’s death.” Kyle started to fume.

“Don’t you have a game to be at?” Maria asked, trying to diffuse the situation.

“Nothing is more important to me than seeing this guy pay for what he did.” Kyle seethed.

“Fine. You want to deal out justice? What are you waiting for? Do it!” Max ordered.

Kyle looked at Max for a moment, taking a millisecond to decide whether or not to risk the game, and his position as captain, to punch the living daylights out of Max. In that millisecond he decided it was worth it.

I did everything I could to convince Kyle to just walk away, but his rage was too much for me – I couldn’t get through to him.

The first punch got Max directly in the eye socket, which was going to leave a nice black eye. While Max was crouched on the ground, Kyle went in for the kick in the stomach.

Both times, and for the rest of the kicks that followed, Max didn’t even try to defend himself. He just took what Kyle was dishing out without even crying out. He was either trying to be a hero, or he thought he deserved it. A look into his mind confirmed the latter.

I ordered Max to defend himself, but his will to just take his punishment was too much for me to overcome.

“Kyle stop this!” Maria cried, trying to pull Kyle off Max but being no match for him. “Somebody, please stop him!”

A crowd had gathered, but the threat of having to get passed Kyles teammates was enough to keep everyone away.

“Please Kyle, that’s enough!” Maria cried.

“It will never be enough until he’s dead.” Kyle raged, grabbing Max off the ground by the collar and pulling his arm back for another punch.

“Stop it!”

This time it wasn’t Maria’s voice, but mine.

“Liz?” Kyle gasped, stopping mid punch.

Everyone was looking at me and I realised that I materialised into human form once again.

Oh crap.

“No. No!” Kyle cried, taking a frightened step backwards.

Once I realised that Kyle was not going to throw any more punches, I disappeared from view as quickly as I had come.

Kyle bolted, leaving his teammates standing around at a loss of what was happening.

I wondered whether I could make them forget what they saw.

“It was just a random girl in the crowd. Kyle wasn’t thinking clearly.” I whispered to their minds.

I don’t know whether it worked or not, but they quickly disbanded on the sound of the coach’s whistle.

“I saw her…” Maria said to Max as she helped Max to his feet. “It’s really her isn’t it?”

Max nodded as he moaned from the pain.

“Sorry.” Maria apologised, realizing that Max was still lying on the ground in pain and helping him to sit up. “Are you okay?”

“I’ve been better.” Max tried to smile, but his lip was split.

“Why didn’t you fight back?” Maria asked.

“Yeah Max, why? It would have saved me a lot of trouble. You don’t make my job very easy you know.” I piped up.

“I guess I felt like I deserved it.” Max admitted, and then realized that Maria was whirling around looking into thin air. “What is it?”

“She’s still here.” Maria whispered. “I can feel her. Not all the time, but just now, I’m sure I felt her speak. I just wish I knew what she was saying.”

“Maria?” Michael called as he came down from the bleachers. “Some guys were just talking about Kyle beating up Max… Max?!”

Michael looked down and saw a blood covered Max sitting on the ground.

“Michael, can you help me get Max up. We need to take him to a hospital.” Maria asked.

Michael took one arm and Maria took the other, and together they helped Max up to his feet.

“I’m okay. I don’t need a hospital.” Max replied, but the groan he made when he tried to get up suggested otherwise. Max clutched at his ribs.

“Let me look at that.” Maria ordered, beginning to lift up Max’s shirt.

“It’s nothing.” Max replied, pulling his shirt down before Maria got a good glimpse. “Just a bit of bruising.”

“We should get a doctor to look at it.” Maria sighed in resignation.

“I’d rather just go home. If it’s still not right in the morning I’ll go to the doctor.” Max promised.

“Okay, but you’re not driving in your condition. Michael can drive you in your car and I’ll follow in mine.” Maria organised.

Max nodded, and let Michael help him limp to his car.

Maria gave them a head start before whispering, “I know you are there Liz. I just wish you could talk to me. I miss my best friend.”

She then wiped away a tear before quickly catching up to Max and Michael.

I watched them go, wondering how on Earth I was supposed to proceed with everything that had happened. Max was hurt and I had failed to protect him – unforgivable for a guardian angel. Both Maria and Max, and I guess now Kyle, had seen me and were convinced that I was Liz. Maria was desperate for more contact while I should really be pulling away. I didn’t want to cause any more hurt to her than I had to, but communicating with her was so against the rules that I was bound to be pulled of my assignment immediately.

I felt the pull towards Max, so I guess the limit of how far I could be from my ward had been reached. About 100ft. With Kyle still around I was risking too much even by being only that far away. I was back at Max’s side in an instant. Back to being the invisible silent observer.

*

Later that night, after he had finally convinced Michael and Maria to go home and leave him, Max removed his shirt and surveyed the damage. He cringed at the sight of his black and blue torso, and winced as he softly touched it. Yep, he had definitely broken his ribs.

But he refused to go to the hospital. Stubborn male.

So I did the only thing I could do if he was going to refuse medical attention. I placed a hand on his ribs and concentrated on healing the bones underneath – another of my many gifts. I made sure it was a clean job so there were no shards of bone left to puncture his lung or cause any internal bleeding. As I held my hand on his body, he placed his hand over mine.

“Why?” He whispered, his voice strained.

“Because it’s my responsibility.” I replied. “And because I can’t bear to see you hurting.”

When his ribs were healed, I checked for internal bleeding before moving to his split lip. I placed my fingers gently on his lips, and as I did, I felt him take a small intake of breath.

“Let me see you.” Max begged.

“No.” I replied.

“Please?” Max’s voice faltered.

With that voice, how could I refuse?

I took my hand away from his lips, stood back, took a deep breath, and concentrated on taking form.

“Liz.” Max breathed.

“I’m not Liz.” I replied.

“You are. You look exactly like her.” Max countered.

“You just want me to be her.” I argued.

“Why would I conjure you up?” Max asked. “If I wanted to see anyone again, it would be my parents.”

“You carry too much guilt to feel as though you deserve that. You want to be haunted, that’s why you are so ready to believe that I’m Liz.” I reasoned.

“Maybe you’re right, but you can’t deny the resemblance.” Max stated, stepping out of the way of the mirror and giving me a look at myself. He then rummaged in his wardrobe for the shoebox, found the newspaper cutting and held it up to me.

I had to admit, the resemblance was uncanny.

“I may look like her but I’m not her.” I shook my head in disbelief. “Why are you so ready to believe I’m her?”

“Why are you so sure that you’re not?” Max countered.

“Because they wouldn’t do that. They wouldn’t send the girl you killed to protect your life. It makes no sense.” I replied.

“You’re here to protect me?” Max asked incredulously.

“Yeah, although you wouldn’t know it by looking at you.” I tried to joke. Max didn’t see the funny side.

“Who asked you to protect me?” Max asked seriously.

“The request was made by your mother. She pestered the council until a guardian was assigned to you. Unfortunately I wasn’t assigned until after the accident.”

“Until after you died.” Max clarified.

“Until after Liz died.” I corrected him.

“That’s what I said.” Max smiled, reaching out to touch my hand. He wanted to feel if I was really real.

“I have to go.” I announced, backing away from Max, out of his reach.

“Why?” Max asked confused, dropping his hand.

“Because you’re not allowed to see me.” I tried to explain.

“It’s a bit late for that.” Max smiled again.

“I know.” I sighed, and then disappeared.

I hoped that it wouldn’t be the last time that I would see him. I would no doubt hear from Jake soon about the Council’s decision, especially after tonight’s activities.

If only there was a loophole. A way that meant that I could stay with Max.

I would do it in a heartbeat.

Seriously neglecting the housework to write this... I hope my dirty house was all worthwhile


Chapter 8

At 3am I came to a decision.

If I could appear to Max at will, then what was to stop me from taking human form whenever I liked?

The past few days had only served to demonstrate that this whole guardian angel thing wasn’t foolproof. Not when you are dealing with stubborn people who refused to listen to you until you were standing right before them in flesh and blood.

So that’s what I’d become – flesh and blood.

The very thought sent a thrill through me. I could be human again. It was possible. They didn’t even give us a hint that it was even possible when we were asked whether we wanted to be a guardian or not. I guess they didn’t want everyone coming back to life. It would be very hard to explain so many reincarnations…

"Sera? What are you planning on doing?” Jake popped into my head.

Damn! I was hoping I could do this before he found out.

“Nothing. Just daydreaming.” I lied.

“Liar. You’re going to take human form again. And don’t think I didn’t see what happened last night.”

I was sprung. Crap.

“Look. If you saw what happened last night, you know I couldn’t stop that guy from beating the crap out of Max. What use is being a guardian angel if you can’t protect the person you are assigned to? The fight only stopped because I showed myself.” I tried to justify my actions.

“The fight stopped because you showed them Liz. You can’t turn up at school looking like that.” Jake warned.

“About that. Why do I look like her? I’m… I’m not her am I?” I asked.

“Of course not.” Jake replied.

Even though I had been sure of that all along, I couldn’t help but feel disappointed by the confirmation.

“Then why?” I asked.

“Maybe because that’s who you want to be? You’re the one responsible for projecting the image that you want others to see.” Jake explained.

I could understand that. I was an angel, not a ghost after all. Of course I wouldn’t keep my features. I was dead. I had crossed over.

“So I’ll project a different image. I can do that.” I replied.

“It’s not that simple.” Jake argued. “If you take human form for too long, you will start losing your other powers. I won’t be able to communicate with you. You won’t be able to heal, manipulate people, or stop things from happening. You’ll be essentially human.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing. I’ve been human before and I’m pretty sure I liked it.” I retorted.

“Sera, think about it. You become human, and you won’t be able to protect Max anymore. If he dies, it will be all on you.”

I gulped.

“Think about it before you do anything irresponsible, won’t you? Please?” Jake begged.

“I will. I promised.” I replied, suddenly confused.

I guess I couldn’t have the best of both worlds. Human flesh and angel powers. It was one or the other.

Could I live with myself if anything happened to Max?

No.

But I couldn’t continue to live like a ghost either, not when I knew there was the possibility of being human again. Jake said I would eventually lose my powers if I stayed human too long. What was too long? If I took human form only during the day, and angel at night, surely I could keep my powers? Especially if I only used them when absolutely necessary. It was worth a try.

I was going to do this, damn the consequences.

So the only question was, what did I want to look like?

Judging by Max’s recent taste in women, blonde was definitely it. Average height – not too tall that I overshadow Max, and not too short that it’s hard to reach his lips to kiss them…

What was I thinking? I was doing this to protect Max, not to become his girlfriend.

… wasn’t I?

So blonde, average height, average build, blue eyes, freckles? Nice clothes, but not designer, silver jewelry, and non-descript back pack.

Did that about cover it?

By the time Max woke for school, I had it all planned out in my head. Only thing was, I wasn’t going to get a chance to check I had it all right until I could sneak a look of my reflection in a mirror. I had thought about practicing in front of Max’s mirror as he slept, but I couldn’t risk him waking up and seeing this strange girl in his room.

Fingers crossed this worked.

*

Max, Michael and Alex were waiting for Max outside the front of school.

“Hey, you’re looking so much better.” Maria exclaimed, seeing his black eye was not so black, and his split lip looked half way healed. I had healed Max as much as I could the night before, without it looking like nothing had happened. There had been too many witnesses.

“Yeah, I um, I’ll talk to you about it later.” Max replied, desperate to tell Maria that I had healed him, but looking around and seeing the number of eavesdroppers.

I decided it was time for me to turn human, while everyone was together. It would be the easiest way of getting invited to sit with the gang at lunch.

There was a group of freshman walking up the footpath from the car park. I took my place behind them so that I wouldn’t be so noticeable appearing out of thin air. I then gradually detached myself from the group and pretended to look lost as I walked up the stairs towards the main office. Just I got to where Max and the gang were standing, I pretended to trip and drop my books.

“Here, let me help you with those.” Max offered, bending down and helping to collect my books.

“Thank you. I’m such a klutz.” I blushed.

“No problem.” Max smiled, helping me to my feet. “Are you new here?”

“That obvious huh?” I smiled.

“I’m relatively new here myself. Only started last week.” Max replied.

“Really? And you already have some friends.” I indicated to Maria, Michael and Alex. Maria was gaping at me and Michael had to nudge her in the ribs to get her to stop.

“This is Maria, Michael and Alex. And I’m Max.” Max introduced them. “Sorry, I didn’t catch your name…”

“I’m Sera.” I replied, giving the others a small wave.

“Can I show you to the administration office?” Max offered.

“That would be great, thanks.” I smiled. “It was nice to meet you all.”

“You too Sera.” Alex said, I assume on behalf of everyone. Maria was still too busy staring. I wondered what was up with that.

I followed Max into the school building, and was overwhelmed by the scent of his cologne. Why had I not noticed it when I was spending hours by his side? I guess angels didn’t really smell things like humans did. Maybe that went hand in hand with the non-breathing thing.

Speaking of breathing, you can’t imagine how good it felt to breath in fresh air after so long of not needing to. Not to mention the feel of sunshine on my skin. I think I could lie in the sunshine forever. I’d have to remember to wear sunscreen now though.

“Here it is.” Max announced. “Do you want me to wait and show you to your first class?”

“That would be amazing. Thank you for being so thoughtful Max.” I gave him my best attempt at a flirtatious smile. Might as well strike while the iron’s hot.

I went into the administration office and weaseled myself through the admission process, convincing the nice lady behind the desk that my parents had called ahead last week to let the school know I would be starting today, and all my paperwork had been done and on file. She was easy to convince and she eventually handed me my class timetable.

“What do you have first?” Max asked, when I rejoined him in the hallway.

“English with Mr Jones.” I replied, conferring with my timetable.

“Me too. Can I check the rest of your timetable?” Max asked, and I handed it to him.

“Huh, that’s weird. Looks like we have every class together. I guess we will be seeing a lot of each other.” Max smiled.

“Wow, that is weird.” I replied. Only if you don’t have the right ‘connections’.

“English is down this way.” Max announced, leading the way.

So this was going really well. Better than expected actually. I hadn’t expected Max to be so friendly towards me – a complete stranger.

The one disconcerting thing was that I could still read his mind. The mind of a seventeen year old male is not necessarily the best place to hang out when you are a seventeen year old female, but it was flattering that he thought I was beautiful. I didn’t even mind that he was already picturing our first kiss and more.

I was picturing that first kiss too.

*

“So, how has your day been so far.” Maria asked, as Max brought me over to join the gang for lunch.

“Great. Max has been really helpful showing me around while giving me a social commentary on the who’s who.” I smiled.

“Maria could tell you more than me.” Max blushed. “She knows everyone in this school. I’m still learning myself.”

“Pretty much all you need to know is to stay away from the jocks and the cheerleaders, especially the head cheerleader Tess.” Maria replied, giving Max a directed glare.

“Are you and Tess a thing?” I asked innocently, showing them that I noticed Maria’s pointed look.

“Yeah Max, are you?” Maria asked.

“No. We just got paired up for this awful English assignment that we have to do on Friday.” Max replied, blushing again.

“As long as that’s all it is.” Maria warned.

Max put his hands up in defence. “I’ve had other things on my mind lately than Tess Harding.” Max now looked pointedly at Maria.

“Do you guys need a minute alone?” I asked. I knew Max and Maria were desperate to talk about ‘Liz’ in private.

“No, that’s fine.” Max let it go.

“If you’re sure. I’d hate to be a nuisance.” I said, rising to leave.

“Don’t be silly. You’re more than welcome here.” Max replied, placing a hand on my arm to stop me from rising any further.

The heat from his hand felt so warm, that I almost gasped. I was still getting used to all of the sensations I was feeling on my skin. The wind, the sun, the touch of another person. It was almost enough to make me cry.

“Sera?” A voice interrupted my thoughts. I turned to see Jake standing before me.

I couldn’t hide the look of shock on my face. I had hoped that I would be out of his reach down here – unable to feel his wrath until I was back in guardian angel mode. I had been naïve.

“What are you doing here?” I demanded, now rising all the way to my feet.

“Can we talk?” He asked, indicating with a swift dart of his eyes to the others that he wanted to talk alone.

“You shouldn’t be here.” I replied, not giving in to his request.

“Neither should you.” Jake forced a whisper.

Okay, maybe talking in front of the others was a bad idea.

“Are you okay Sera?” Max asked. I hadn’t noticed that he was on his feet now. It was nice to feel him in protective mode, given that that was what my job had been for so long.

“I’m fine.” I replied. “I’ll just be a minute.”

I followed Jake to about twenty metres away and then stopped dead.

“This is far enough. What are you doing here?” I asked again.

“I can't communicate to you telepathically when you are in human form, so I came to talk some sense into you. I thought you were going to think about it before taking this step?” Jake replied.

“I did. For a minute. I decided that this was something I had to do.” I retorted.

“You’re making a huge mistake. You are supposed to be protecting Max – it was what you were sent here to do.”

“And I am protecting him. At least I was until you dragged me over here for this stupid conversation.” I replied, a bit too harshly.

“I’ve expedited a decision from the Council. Someone will be coming to relieve you of your post. You will be returning to the Council for debriefing, and they will decided then whether you will be reassigned to someone else or not.” Jake explained.

Someone else?!?

“That’s not fair. I thought you said that no one is ever pulled from an active assignment unless they failed.” And the person is dead.

“… or they are found guilty of gross misconduct. Guess what? That’s what you’ve committed here.” Jake replied.

“You said that senior guardians had the ability to take human form. That must mean that there is a place for it in guard duties. It’s not against the rules.” I retorted, thinking I was clever.

“But they don’t go against strict orders to do it. They don’t do it for their own selfish desires.”

“That’s not what I’m doing.” I huffed.

“It isn’t?” Jake scoffed. “You like the guy. You want to be with him. That’s why you stopped him from having sex with that other blonde girl.”

“That’s not the reason.” I replied, unconvincingly.

“You know I assigned you to Max so that something like this wouldn’t happen.” Jake explained.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked confused.

“You said it yourself. Max is a jerk.”

“You deliberately assigned me to Max so that I wouldn’t like him enough to want to hook up with him?” I confirmed. “Why do you even care?”

“Because you can’t protect someone you are having a relationship with. It doesn’t work.” Jake replied.

“I don’t believe that. You are more likely to protect someone you like, than someone you can’t stand. There’s got to be something you are not telling me.” I accused.

“N-no, there’s not.” Jake stuttered. A dead giveaway that there was more to the story than he was sharing.

“When can I expect to hear from the Council?” I asked, trying to wrap up the conversation. If Jake wasn’t going to give me straight answers, then I’m sure the Council would.

“Within a few days. A week at the most. See if you can keep from screwing the guy before then.” Jake spat.

I slapped him in the face. When he recovered from the shock, he looked hurt and dejected. I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

“Is there a problem here?” Max asked, having witnessed the exchange and hurrying over to be at my side.

“Jake is just leaving. Right Jake?” I asked.

“I’ll see you soon Sera.” Jake said through gritted teeth and turned to go.

“Are you okay?” Max asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. There was that warmth again.

“Fine. Thanks for coming to my rescue.” I smiled.

“What did he want?” Max asked, trying to gauge whether Jake would be an ongoing problem.

“Just an ex.” I lied, but from the way Jake was acting it would be easy to think he was a jealous ex-boyfriend. “I don’t even know how he managed to track me down so fast.”

Max walked me back to the gang who were all pretending not to have witnessed the exchange, or to be more specific, the slap.

“Here’s my number.” Max said, writing his phone number on my hand. “In case he comes back and you need help.”

“Thanks.” I smiled gratefully, although knowing I wouldn’t need it. I would always be physically within Max’s reach because I couldn’t be more than 100 feet away from him at any time.

“So Sera, tell us a bit about yourself.” Maria asked. She was looking at me curiously, a little like she had when I had been invisible, although this time she was able to actually see me.

“I’m from New York.” I lied, creating a history of myself on the spot. “My dad moved here for a quieter life.”

“Do you have any other family here?” Maria asked.

“No. Why?” I asked, wondering if there was a point to the question.

“You just look really familiar that’s all. I think it’s your eyes.” Maria commented.

“Oh.” Was all I could reply. My eyes? Whose did they look like?

Crap, now Max was looking into my eyes curiously.

“I… I have to go to the bathroom before the bell rings.” I announced, picking up my bag and quickly heading away.

“Let me show you the way.” Max offered, following me. Thank goodness, because otherwise I was going to be forced to stop or do a weird disappearing trick once I reached 100 feet.

“Are you okay?” Max asked concerned. “Did Maria upset you?”

“No, not at all. Maria seems nice. All of your friends do.”

“Here’s the ladies.” Max said, indicating the door on the left with a big ‘F’. “I’ll meet you back here and we can walk to class together.”

“Thanks.” I smiled, before quickly disappearing inside.

I checked to make sure I was alone before dropping my bag and placing myself in front of the closest mirror.

Blonde hair – check. Average height and build – check. Blue eyes? Crap. They were brown. My eyes were no different to what they had been before. They were no different to Liz’s. No wonder Maria had been looking at me so curiously.

I tried to use my powers to change them to blue, but I couldn’t. They weren’t going to change.

I could only put it down to the fact that the saying goes – ‘ your eyes are the windows to your soul’. Maybe they could never change.

Then why did I have Liz’s eyes?

Another part. Enjoy your weekend!


Chapter 9

The bathroom door opened and I quickly look away from my reflection and grab my bag, when I’m stopped from making an exit.

“So. You’re new here.” Tess stated the obvious.

“Yes. I’m Sera.” I said, with an outstretched hand. I might as well try and get off on the right foot, even though what I really wanted to do was kick my foot right up her…

“Tess.” Tess replied, not taking my hand. “I see you’ve already hit it off with Max.”

Not one to beat around the bush.

“He seems like a nice guy.” I smiled sweetly and innocently.

“I’d stay away from him if I were you.” Tess warned.

“Why’s that? Do you have some territorial claim over him or something?” I asked.

“No. I must admit that I liked him when I first met him, but… well, let’s just say that he’s got more than just one screw loose.” Tess replied.

“What do you mean?” I asked, knowing exactly where she was going with this.

“He thinks he sees ghosts.” Tess replied bluntly.

“Maybe he does?” I replied, as though her revelation was not a big deal.

“You’re not serious?” Tess scoffed.

“Absolutely. There’s more to this world than meets the eye. Some of us are just more advanced than the rest of you and can actually see the mysteries of this world.” I smiled sweetly, before pushing my way past.

I couldn’t help but hear her thoughts as I left. She wanted to hate me, but the other part of her wondered whether she had done the wrong thing by giving up on Max so quickly. I kicked myself for not just going along with her. Now I might have some healthy, or not so healthy, competition. Me and my big mouth.

“Everything alright?” Max asked cautiously. He had seen Tess go into the bathroom after me.

“Peachy.” I smiled. “That Tess is a piece of work isn’t she?”

“What did she say?” Max asked hesitantly.

“That you see dead people.” I replied honestly.

“Really… um … I wonder why she said that.” Max stammered, slightly embarrassed.

“Well I pretty much told her that it was kinda cool, and she was the one who wasn’t as far along the evolution chain as everyone else.”

“Nice.” Max smiled. “I like your style.”

“Thanks.” I beamed.

Yes, this was going so much better than I had anticipated.

*

“So what do you do for fun in this town?” I asked Max at the end of our last period together. I knew I should drop the human thing and go back to being Max’s guardian angel, but I wasn’t quite ready to do that yet. I was having too much fun. Besides, I didn’t want to give Jake the chance of jumping back into my head for another lecture – one that Max couldn’t save me from.

“Well, I don’t know if you would call it fun, but there is somewhere I need to go. You can tag along if you like.” Max offered.

“Are you going to give me a hint where we are going?” I asked. But I could see it clearly in his head. We were going to the cemetery.

“You’ll see.” Max replied.

Arriving at the cemetery, we walked along rows of headstones until we found one that was sufficiently decrepit. Thomas Wade Johnson, born 1814 died 1858.

“A relative of yours?” I asked as Max placed a bunch of flowers on the grave.

“No. This is just something I like to do.”

“Hang out in cemeteries and place flowers on really old graves?” I laughed.

“Something like that.” Max replied, taking a seat on the freshly mown lawn. I took a seat next to him.

“Is this where you see your ghosts?” I asked, wondering if Max would tell me the truth about ‘Liz’ or not.

“No.” Max replied, a little put out by the direct question. I guess he wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. What did surprise me was how much he was willing to tell me.

“I come here because, well… my parents died in a tornado six months ago… over in North Carolina. I can’t go and visit their grave so I come here instead. I find the most abandoned looking headstone and place a bunch of flowers on it. I might even do some weeding and clean up the headstone. It makes me feel better for not being able to visit my parents grave.” Max explained, all of which I already knew, but somehow it was nicer hearing it from him rather than pulling it out of his mind. I couldn’t believe he was actually telling me all of this – practically a stranger too him.

“That’s one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard.” I whispered.

“Thanks.” Max blushed. I seemed to have a habit of making him do that.

“You know that your parents are probably looking down on you and are really proud.” I added.

“Oh, I don’t know about that. I’ve done some really bad and stupid stuff…” Max sighed.

“Yet I’m sure you are sorry for what you’ve done.” I comforted him. “They would see that.”

“You wouldn’t believe how much I wish I could take back that night. I would give anything…” Max almost cried.

I wished I could do something more to comfort him. I had seen first hand the pain he carried over Liz’s death. All I could do was place a hand on his shoulder. It still gave me a jolt of excitement at being actually able to touch Max like that – to touch anyone like that.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I offered. It seemed to help him to talk about things that were on his mind.

“I was drunk. I hadn’t been coping with my parent’s death very well, and alcohol was the only thing that would numb the grief for a moment. It was late. I decided it was time to go home. I didn’t think I should drive, so I started to walk. I began to cross the road when I saw the headlights. They seemed to be so far away, but my judgment wasn’t intact. Before I knew what was happening, I heard a screech as the car swerved, missing me by an inch, before crashing into a telegraph pole.

“I didn’t know what to do. I stood in shock for a moment before rushing over to the broken car. There was blood, so much blood. My head was spinning from the alcohol, but I managed to somehow dial 911. I pulled the driver out of the car, but the passengers… there was so much blood. I couldn’t stand it, so I … I ran.” Max said in defeat.

“Most people would have done the same thing in your situation.” I consoled.

“I don’t think so.” Max shook his head. “It was my fault. A girl died, and I was a selfish coward.”

“Max…” I tried to sooth, but I didn’t know what to say.

“I deserve to be haunted.” Max blurted.

“Haunted?” I queried.

“The girl, Liz. She’s been appearing to me.” Max admitted. So he was going to confess to me after all.

“Trying to avenge death?” I smiled at the thought of how far that was from the truth.

“No. She says she has been trying to protect me.” Max shook his head. “It’s more than I deserve.”

“Maybe she thinks you deserve it.” I replied.

“If she does, then she’s even more wonderful than I thought her.” Max gave a small smile.

He thought I was wonderful.

“Any more talk like that and I might start getting jealous.” I retorted. “I never thought I could be jealous of a ghost.”

Max smiled.

“You remind me of her you know.” He admitted.

“Really?” I asked, trying to say it lightly, but there was a slight nervous undertone that I was hoping that he wouldn’t catch.

“Yeah. Some of the things you say, remind me of the voice I have in my head. The one that is always urging me that I’m better than I am, and how I should behave if I want to make my parents proud. I think it is Liz putting those thoughts in my head.” Max explained.

“That’s a fantastic theory.” I smiled. So he had picked up on that after all.

“And the things you say… it’s almost as if you are one and the same.” Max observed. “I feel like I’ve known you for more than a day.”

“Me too.” I admitted. But although I have been around him for so many months now, it is only now that I really feel like I know the real Max.

“Given that we have both known each other for so long, I guess it wouldn’t be too weird if I told you that I really wanted to kiss you right now, would it?” Max asked shyly.

“I think you read my mind.” I whispered, leaning towards Max.

Max leant in too and met my lips with a tentative touch. The kiss deepened and I wouldn’t have been surprised to have seen fireworks around us. The kiss was magical.

“H-hmm.” A voice interrupted, causing us to snap apart.

“Maria, hey.” Max blushed. “What are you doing here?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing. I didn’t think you knew anyone in Rowell, let alone someone who died in, what does that say? 1858?” Maria smiled.

“It’s a long story.” Max replied.

“I don’t want to hear your excuse for bringing Sera to the town cemetery to make out. Each to their own.” Maria put up her hand to stop Max saying another word. “Hi Sera by the way.”

“Hi Maria.” Now it was my turn to blush.

“So what are you doing here?” Max asked Maria.

“I came to visit Liz.” Maria announced.

I went as white as a ghost, thinking that Maria had discovered that I was ‘Liz’, but then she pointed a little further down the hill to where the more recent gravestones were.

“Can I come with you?” Max asked.

“I was hoping you would say that.” Maria smiled.

I wondered whether I should say my goodbyes and give Max and Maria some time alone. Max got to his feet and then reached out a hand to help me up. He didn’t let go, so instead of leaving, I walked with him hand in hand to Liz’s grave site.

“This is it.” Maria announced unnecessarily. The gravestone read ‘Liz Parker 1995-2011. Beloved daughter.’

I stood back as Maria and Max stood in silence before the grave site. Maria thinking of how much she missed her best friend, and Max apologising profusely for what he had done.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” Max said aloud as he broke down, dropping to his knees.

I automatically took a few steps forward and placed an arm around Max’s shoulders.

“I’m okay.” Max stated after a few moments, and getting to his feet again. “I’m okay.”

I was now standing side by side with Max and Maria and I felt a pull towards the headstone. My legs began to shake as I took a slow few steps forward. Reaching out my trembling hand I touched the engraved letters of Liz’s name on the headstone and gasped as the images played like an old movie reel.

… playing in the kitchen of the Crashdown while my parents were busy working around me …

… meeting Alex and Maria on my first day of elementary school …

… getting caught by my parents skipping school with Maria to hang out at the park …

… starting school at East Roswell High instead of going to the same school as Maria and Alex …

… making new friends and being pressured into joining the cheerleading squad with my new friends …

… meeting Kyle and going out on a date with him …

… the car careering out of control and hitting the telegraph pole …

… blood …

“No! It can’t be!” I screamed.

“What is it?” Max asked, placing a comforting hand around my shoulder.

I shrugged him off and scuttled away out of his reach.

“Don’t touch me!” I cried, tears streaming down my face.

I couldn’t believe this was happening. I had so many clues that I was Liz, but I had refused to believe that it could be possible. How could the Council assign me to protect the one person in the world who was responsible for my death. It didn’t make any sense. It couldn’t be true. Yet it was. I remembered everything about my life now.

“Please tell me what’s wrong.” Max pleaded, still on his hands and knees.

“You killed me … you killed me…” I chanted, before getting to my feet and running away as fast as I could.

“Liz?” Max stammered, hesitating before getting to his feet and chasing after me.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to get very far, so as soon as I found a large enough headstone, I ducked behind it and disappeared into thin air before Max could catch up to me.

He rounded the corner where he had seen me drop down, but there was nothing there, nothing that he could see.

“Liz?” Max asked, whirling around, trying to get a sense of where I was.

I remained silent, too scared to move or breathe.

“Liz, please come back.” Max pleaded.

I didn’t know how to process everything. All this time I had been telling Max that he wasn’t a bad person, and he shouldn’t be too hard on himself, but that was before I knew that I was the one who had died because of his actions. If he hadn’t gotten drunk that night, I wouldn’t have lost my life. I would still be here, living, breathing, having fun with my friends, living my life. Instead I was stuck in this plane, existing for the sole purpose of saving someone else’s life. What about mine? Where was my guardian angel when I needed them?

“Liz, I’m so sorry.” Max sighed, before giving up and walking away.

Onto the second page! I left this update too long...


Chapter 10

Back in Max’s room, I rocked back and forth on the windowsill still trying to deal with everything. I could barely bring myself to look at Max one minute, and then I was savouring the feel of his lips on mine the next. How could this be happening?

I tried to contact Jake, to beg for some sort of explanation, but I couldn’t reach him. I guess I had spent too long in human form and my powers were weak. Earlier today I would have given anything not to have this connection with Jake, but now I was desperate for it – I was desperate to understand how this could have happened. I should never have been put in this situation.

But then I would have never met Max…

“Liz? Are you there?” Max asked for the millionth time.

I didn’t answer for the millionth time.

“Ok. So you don’t want to talk to me. I completely get that. I just want to tell you something.” Max began, taking a seat on his bed. “You already know how sorry I am for what happened, and how I would do anything to take back that night so you were still alive… I can just imagine how it could have been. I would have made friends with Maria and Alex at school one day, and they would have invited me back to the Crashdown one afternoon. I would have seen you from across the room, wearing one of those cute little alien-themed uniforms that they make all the girls wear in that place. Our eyes would have met across the room, and I would have been struck by you immediately, just like I was when you walked into school today. Those eyes… they make me feel like I have come home.

“Maria would have introduced us, and we would have hit it off instantly. It would have started with some innocent flirting, but eventually I would have the guts to ask you out. We would have been so happy…”

“Stop!” I cried, tears running down my face at the thought of what could have been.

Max immediately jumped to his feet and whirled around, trying to pick where my voice had come from.

“We would have had one of those great loves.” Max continued, hesitantly moving around the room trying to feel me. “We could still.”

“Don’t say that.” I groaned, attempting to stop my heart melting at his words.

“I don’t know how it is possible, but you came back. You were able to be human again as Sera. You can do it again, and I can spend the rest of my life making up for my past wrongs. I would cherish you.” Max promised.

“You can’t take back what has happened.” I sighed.

“I know I can’t.” Max was the one to sigh this time.

“I can’t forget…” I added.

“But can you forgive?” Max questioned.

“I don’t know.” I replied honestly.

*

“Max!” Tess hurries to catch up to Max and I inwardly grown. And so it begins.

It was bad enough that I had imposed a silence between myself and Max, yet still had to follow his every move, but now I had to watch Tess throw herself all over Max again too.

“What is it Tess?” Max sighed, not wanting to deal with Tess right now after having such a restless night.

“We need to finalise our English project. We’re supposed to present it on Friday.” Tess reminded him.

Max had forgotten all about it. So had I.

“Okay, well, how about we get together tomorrow to finalise it?” Max suggested.

“Why not today?” Tess asked curiously.

“Because I have too much on my mind.” Max replied, before walking away.

“Max!” A new female voice called. It was Maria this time.

“Hey Maria.” Max stopped and turned to wait for her.

“How are you Max?” Maria asked cautiously, lowering her voice and leading Max aside to a more secluded spot – if that was possible in the morning rush to get to class.

“Honestly… going out of my mind.” Max replied seriously.

“Do you really think that Sera and Liz are the same person?” Maria asked hopefully.

“I’m convinced of it. Somehow Liz managed to come back.” Max smiled at the thought of it.

“How is that even possible?” Maria gasped.

“I don’t know. It doesn’t make any sense but that doesn’t make it any less true.” Max pointed out.

“Do you think she’ll come back again?” Maria asked.

“I don’t know. I hope so. But … I killed her Maria. I’m responsible for taking away her life. How can she ever get passed that?” Max cried.

“She can. I know Liz. I know the type of person she is. She will be upset for a while, but she will forgive you.” Maria said confidently.

She had too much faith in me.

God I missed her.

I wished I could wrap my arms around her right now, but I needed more time to think before drawing attention to myself.

“Can you feel her now?” Max asked expectantly.

Maria closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.

“No.” Maria sighed.

“She’ll come back.” Max tried to reassure them both.

“I hope so, I really want to talk to her.” Maria replied.

“Why don’t we try to communicate with her again? We could meet up on the oval at lunch?” Max suggested.

“Okay.” Maria gave a little smile.

And I gave an inward groan. I wasn’t sure I was ready for this.

*

“So how do you want to do this?” Max asked.

“I don’t know. Start talking I guess, and hope that she’s here listening.” Maria shrugged.

“Do you want to start?” Max offered. “I don’t know how much she will want to talk to me at the moment.”

“Okay.” Maria nodded.

I braced myself.

“Liz? Liz are you there?” Maria asked, looking around.

I remained silent.

“I really want to talk to you.” Maria continued.

Still silence. I could resist.

“You can’t know how hard this past six months have been. Knowing that you were gone and that I would never see you again. I didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye…”

A tear began to form and silently ran down my face.

“I miss you so much that it hurts.” Maria cried.

“I miss you too.” I exclaimed, revealing myself.

“Liz!” Maria jumped to her feet and threw her arms around me.

I looked at Max over Maria’s shoulder. I don’t know what my face betrayed, but Max immediately took some steps away to give us some privacy. I felt terrible for making him feel unwelcome, but I was relieved he wasn’t making me find the energy to deal with him right now. At around 100 feet, I felt the pull towards him and I jolted a few steps, almost sending Maria flying.

“That’s far enough Max.” I called out to Max so that he could hear me.

Maria righted her footing and then looked at me inquisitively.

“You are linked to Max, aren’t you?” Maria exclaimed, like I had just confirmed something that she had been surmising. “That’s why the only times I have felt your presence have been around Max.”

“Something like that.” I replied, not giving too much away.

“Are you haunting him? Because he’s the one to blame for your death?” Maria asked.

“Not exactly.” I stated. “I’m not here to cause him harm if that’s what you mean.”

“Then why are you here?” Maria asked. “Why him?”

“Because it’s someone’s sick idea of a joke.” I replied wryly.

Maria gave me a strange look.

“I’m still trying to figure that one out myself… why I was assigned to Max of all people.” I explained.

“You were assigned? Are you like his fairy godmother or something?” Maria snorted.

“I prefer the term guardian angel.” I sighed. Even if I had wanted to get out of this conversation without explaining my role here, I could never lie to Maria, or omit to tell her something. She had been, she still was, my best friend.

“Let me get this straight. You were sent back to Earth to protect the one guy who is responsible for your death? Am I right?” Maria clarified.

“Yes.”

“That is some sort of sick joke.” Maria agreed with me.

“Tell me about it.” I rolled my eyes, causing Maria to smile. It was as if we were back at the Crashdown complaining about our classmates or parents.

“Can I ask you what it’s like? You know, dying … being on the other side?” Maria asked, changing the subject.

“Until yesterday I couldn’t remember the dying part. Even now the details are a little sketchy. I don’t remember the pain, but I do remember seeing the white light. Heaven … it was beautiful. But now … now I feel like I’m in purgatory.” I admitted.

“Because of what you discovered about who Max is?” Maria asked.

“That … and because now I remember everything about my old life. I remember what it was like to be Liz Parker, who used to live above the Crashdown, who had two amazing best friends. I remember what I used to have and what has been taken from me.” I explained.

“And you’re never more than 100 feet away from the person responsible for taking that life away from you.” Maria added.

“Yes. And …”

“And what?” Maria asked, pushing me to finish.

“And because before yesterday, I thought I was falling in love with him.”

*

“What did she say?” Max asked after he rejoined Maria – after I had said goodbye.

“She’s very confused about everything.” Maria replied vaguely.

“Do you still think she’ll forgive me one day?” Max begged to know.

“I’m sure of it.” Maria smiled. “Hang in there. In the meantime, I wondered if you would do something for me…”

“What?” Max asked, in a non-committal manner.

“Come to the hospital? See Liz’s friend Serena. The one from the accident.”

“I don’t know if I can…” Max shook his head.

“Please. Do it for Liz?” Maria prodded.

I realised then what Maria was doing. She knew that I was always near Max, and therefore if Max went to the hospital, I would get to go to. While Maria didn’t get on well with my friends from East Roswell, she respected my need to see my friend.

“Okay.” Max agreed.

At the hospital, I couldn’t wait to get in and see Serena. I bounded down the hall 100 feet in front of Max, looking into doorways searching for her. Turning down another corridor, I was pulled backwards as Maria and Max headed down the corridor in the opposite direction. I kept with them this time, my heart racing as got nervous about seeing her. What would I find? She had been in a coma for six months. Either I would be able to pick up on her thoughts, or there would be nothing but silence. I don’t know what prospect scared me the most.

Maria hesitated at a doorway and peered inside. Serena was alone, lying in her bed as if asleep.

“Come in.” Maria indicated to Max.

Max took a hesitant step into the room, while I raced around him to stand by Serena’s bed.

‘Serena. It’s me. It’s Liz.’ I thought telepathically.

I ignored the fact that Maria was now staring in my direction, and instead concentrated on reading Serena’s mind. It took a few moments, but I swore I could hear the faintest murmur of my name in her mind.

‘Serena! Serena!’ I communicated louder. ‘Say something. Please!’

‘Liz…’ Serena whispered louder.

‘Oh, Serena. It’s so good to hear your voice.’ I cried.

‘Liz … I’m so sorry.’ Serena whispered.

‘What do you have to be sorry for?’ I asked confused.

‘I’m so sorry.’ Serena repeated.

‘I don’t understand.’ I replied confused.

‘I’m so sorry…’ Serena’s voice drifted off.

I couldn’t cope with this. Serena was lying in this coma. Her mind was still there, but her body wouldn’t allow her to communicate. She was stuck in a prison - not quite dead, but not quite alive.

I wished there was something I could do for her. I tried to heal her, just as I healed Max, but my powers wouldn’t work on her. My healing abilities only worked on Max – I was his guardian angel, not anyone else’s.

‘Jake. You have to help me.’ I pleaded, hoping that one day of not taking human form had allowed my powers to reset so I could communicate with my team leader.

‘I can’t.’ Jake replied.

‘You have to!’ I begged. ‘She doesn’t deserve to live like this! You have the power to help her.’

‘I can’t. She doesn’t have a guardian angel of her own. My hands are tied.’ Jake argued.

‘That’s bullshit.’

‘Sera…’ Jake reprimanded.

‘My name isn’t Sera – it’s Liz. But you already knew that didn’t you.’ I accused.

‘I…’

‘How could you lie to me? I asked you point blank whether I was Liz and you said ‘no’. Why?’ I asked.

‘Because you weren’t supposed to ever find out.’ Jake replied honestly.

‘Why would I be sent to protect the one person responsible for my death? Who on earth would have allowed that to happen? Do you really hate me that much?’

‘I don’t hate you. I have never hated you. I love you.’ Jake blurted.

‘W-what?’ I was completely taken aback.

‘I love you, and I couldn’t bare the thought of you falling in love with the whoever you were guarding. I had you assigned to Max…’

‘…because you knew I could never love the person who took my life from me.’ I finished for him.

It made so much sense to me now, but I still didn’t like it.

‘And even though you say you love me, you won’t help me with Serena?’ I asked.

‘I wish I could…’ Jake apologised.

‘Don’t.’ I stopped him. ‘I’ll talk to the council and ask them when they come for me.’

‘They’re not coming for you.’ Jake announced.

‘What? Why not? I thought I broke the rules.’ I was now confused.

‘They saw that you had stopped taking human form. They are giving you another chance.’ Jake explained.

So I was going to be with Max longer than I thought. I wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or upset.

‘I need time to process this. Don’t try to contact me.’

‘Sera…’ Jake began.

‘It’s Liz. And don’t forget it.’ I corrected before closing the link between us.

I was left standing by Serena’s bed knowing there was nothing I could do for her.

“What are you doing here?” A voice demanded from the doorway. I turned to see Kyle giving Max a look that would not only kill, but it would massacre an entire village.

“Kyle…” Maria went into damage control. “Max just wanted to come and … try to make amends.”

“I can just go…” Max offered, heading for the door.

'No!' I cried.

Maria whipped her head around towards me, and then immediately turned back to concentrate on Kyle.

“What are you doing here?” Maria asked Kyle, trying to divert attention away from Max.

“I’m visiting Serena.” Kyle stated the obvious.

I stared at Kyle inquisitively. Something was strange about his thought pattern.

“I didn’t realise you and Serena were so close. I thought she was Liz’s friend really.” Maria pointed out.

‘Yeah, she was my friend. You used to complain that she tagged along with us so often.’ I added.

“Well, Liz isn’t here, is she? Someone’s gotta be here.” Kyle retorted, taking a place next to Serena right where I had been standing. I jumped out of his way and glared at him.

Why was I glaring? He was supposed to be my boyfriend. I was supposed to love him. I should be overjoyed to see him again.

But I was glaring. What was it that irked me so much?

“I believe you were just leaving.” Kyle said, darting a look at Max that showed that he would remove him himself if necessary.

I jumped into his mind. What exactly was he thinking?

… Driving along with me in the passenger seat and Serena in the back seat. Serena and I were singing the lyrics to a Lady Gaga song completely out of tune…

… Kyle staring into the rearview mirror where he could see Serena…

… Smiling as Serena met his eyes and blushed …

… Looking back to the road and seeing Max walking across the road, but too late to stop …

… Kyle panicking and swerving into the closest telegraph pole…

I jumped back out of his head. I could barely breathe.

It was Kyle’s fault. Kyle hadn’t been watching the road. Kyle killed me. Kyle was in love with Serena. That’s why she was sorry. They had been dating behind my back. I think I was going to be sick.

‘Get me out of here.’ I begged Max, letting him hear me for the first time.

“Maria. Let’s go.” Max grabbed Maria above the elbow and dragged her out of the room.

“What’s the rush?” Maria asked as we reached the corridor. “Afraid of Kyle?”

“Not me.” Max replied. “It was Liz. She asked to leave. She sounded upset.”

“I’m sorry Liz. I didn’t realize how much seeing Serena would affect you.” Maria apologised to thin air.

Not Serena. Kyle.

“I don’t think it was Serena that upset her.” Max observed.

Wow. Maybe Max was more in tune to my vibes than I had realised.

“Kyle?” Maria questioned.

“He was her b-boyfriend.” Max stuttered. “Seeing him again and not being able to be with him must be hard…”

Max was way off base, but more than that, Max was jealous.

If I wasn’t too busy processing what I had just discovered about Kyle, I might have actually have felt thrilled by that realisation.

Kyle hadn’t been watching the road. Kyle had been making eyes with my best friend. Kyle had cheated on me. My best friend had cheated on me. My life was not what I had thought it had been.

It wasn’t Max’s fault.