Roswell Fanatics

This terrific banner was done by LongTimeFan

Title: The Gods Are Bored
Author: TaffyCat with help from Devil Kitty
Email: bstuller@splis.com
Category: CC but about as A/U as you can get
Rating: YTEEN/TEEN
Disclaimer: Don’t own them, just borrowing them. Promise to return them only slightly used.
Also, we will be taking liberties with Ancient Greek and Roman mythology. We will attempt to stay as true to them as possible but make no promises.

Notes: In Ancient Greece the Goddess Ria is bored. Everything is going too smoothly, too perfectly. So what does a goddess have to do to have a little fun and liven things up?

You’ll find out.

~

Cast of Characters:

Roswellian Gods and Goddesses
Ria (Maria)| goddess of mischief and opportunity
Lizzia (Liz) | goddess of lists and schedules
Tessina (Tess) | goddess of constipation and aggravation; sister of Hera
Alexir (Alex) | god of invention and gadgets

Roswellian Mortals and Half-Mortals
Maximillian (Max) | adopted son of Philippe and Diane of Iolcos (birthplace of Jason of the Argonauts); biological son of the God Zeus and a mortal
Isabella (Isabel)| biological daughter of Philippe and Diane of Iolcos
Michaellian (Michael)| a centaur (half human/half horse) sent by Zeus to educate and train Maximillian; Maximillian’s best friend and mentor
Kyllian (Kyle) | son of Jameos, King of Iolcos

~

While it is highly doubtful we will use all of these listed below, it is easier to include them all to start with, just in case.

Olympian Gods
Greek pantheon, and it features the Olympian gods and goddesses

Aphrodite (Venus) | goddess of love and beauty
Apollo (Apollo) | god of the arts (esp. poetry and music), archery, and divination
Ares (Mars) | god of war
Artemis (Diana) | goddess of the hunt and protector of children
Athena (Minerva) | goddess of wisdom, war, and crafts; patron of Athens
Demeter (Ceres) | goddess of agriculture and fertility
Dionysos (Bacchus) | god of wine, mysteries, and the theatre
Hephaistos (Vulcan) | god of smiths and metal-workers
Hera (Juno) | goddess of marriage; consort of Zeus
Hermes (Mercury) | god of merchants; messenger of Zeus
Poseidon (Neptune) | god of the sea and earthquakes
Zeus (Jupiter) | god of the sky; ruler of Olympus

Chthonic Deities
Greek gods and goddesses of Earth and the Underworld

Erinyes (Furiae) | also known as Furies, these were female spirits who exacted vengeance against those who committed specific crimes
Keres | Keres were female spirits of death and destruction in ancient Greece
Hades (Pluto) | god of the Underworld and ruler of the dead; husband of Persephone
Hekate (Trivia) | goddess of magic; an alternate spelling of her name is Hecate
Persephone (Proserpina) | goddess of the Underworld and wife of Hades; also known as Kore (the maiden)
Thanatos | god of death

Free Spirits
Important Greek gods and goddesses who do not fit into a specific category - includes the Muses, Nike, nymphs, etc.

Amphitrite | sea goddess; wife of Poseidon
Asklepios (Asclepius) | god of healing
Boreas | god of the north wind
Dike (Iustitia) | goddess of justice
Eileithyia (Lucina) | goddess of childbirth
Eirene (Pax) | goddess who personified peace
Enyo (Bellona) | goddess of war
Eos (Aurora) | goddess of the dawn
Erebus | personification of darkness
Eris (Discordia) | goddess whose name means "discord" or "strife"
Eros (Cupid) | god of love and desire
Eunomia | goddess who personified discipline or good government
Fates (Moirai in Greek, Parcae in Latin) | goddesses who supervised fate; the poet Hesiod names them Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos
Graces (Charites in Greek, Gratiae in Latin) | a trio of graceful goddesses associated with Aphrodite
Hebe (Juventas) | goddess who was a cup-bearer for the Olympian gods
Helios (Sol) | god of the sun
Hesperus (Vesper) | the evening star
Hestia (Vesta) | goddess of the home and hearth
Himeros | god of sexual desire; companion of Aphrodite
Horae | a trio of goddesses of the Seasons
Hygeia | goddess of health
Hypnos (Somnus) | god of Sleep; brother of Thanatos
Iris | goddess of the rainbow; messenger of Hera
Morpheus | god of dreams
Muses | nine goddesses, each of whom embodied an aspect of the humanities and arts
Nemesis | goddess of retribution
Nereus | sea god who fathered 50 daughters - the Nereids (sea-nymphs)
Nike (Victoria) | goddess of victory
Nymphs | female nature spirits
Nyx | goddess who personifies night
Pan (Faunus) | god of the countryside
Peitho | goddess who personifies persuasion; Peitho often accompanies Aphrodite in myth
Selene (Luna) | goddess of the moon
Triton | water god; son of Amphitrite and Poseidon
Tyche (Fortuna) | goddess of fortune
Zephyrus | god of the west wind

Source Material
Information on Greek Gods and Mythology is from http://www.loggia.com/myth/gods.html

Map of Ancient Greek World:
http://plato-dialogues.org/tools/gk_wrld.htm

~

And now, on with the story….

~

Part 1

Ria lay back with a sigh and popped another piece of ambrosia in her mouth. Her fingers were strumming a steady rhythm of boredom on the low table sitting next to her. She sighed again and looked around. All was quiet on Mt. Olympus. Zeus was busy off placating Hera over that little dalliance he had with Io that she’d instigated with a little nudge from Aphrodite. It was a golden opportunity, how could Zeus not take it? Besides, how was she supposed to know that Hera would catch wind of it and Zeus, in a moment of panic, or more like stupidity if you asked her, would turn Io into a white heifer, which Hera then insisted on keeping as a gift? It at least had made life interesting for a while, but all’s well that ends well. She looked around again and thought, ‘maybe a little too well?’

Her finger began to swirl and the cloud cover below cleared. The Aegean was nice and calm. Poseidon must be napping, she figured. Her finger swirled again and she noted Ares was at it again with Sparta and Athens, nothing new there. She moved on and saw that they were still working on the Colossal at Rhodes. Now that would be a true wonder, if they ever got it finished that is. She took a quick glance at Ithaca and saw nothing happening. Ithaca was down right boring ever since Odysseus had returned home from Troy. Now that had been a fun nineteen or so years. But now everything was nice and quiet, too quiet. Damn, it was annoying!

She tried again and decided to check out Iolcos. She’d had fun there some time ago with getting Jason to take off with the Argonauts and go after the Golden Fleece. Scanning around it all seemed so…normal. As she was just about to move on something caught her eye. “Humph, what’s a centaur doing down there with that youth?” She laughed as the centaur then boxed the youth’s ears for bungling a sword maneuver. “He certainly has some great moves. Just look at those muscles flex. Nice tail, too. And the youth’s not too bad either,” she observed and decided to watch them for a bit.

~

Lizzia checked her schedule again and decided she had a little time to spare and to pay her friend Ria a visit. She hoped Hera had calmed down by now, and also that she had forgotten that it was Ria’s little meddling that had started it all in the first place. She hated ruckuses like that. They tended to throw everything off schedule.

“Ria, Ria. Hey, it’s me. I thought I’d drop in for a bit,” she announced as she approached her friend’s abode.

“Chica! Hey come here. Check this out,” Ria answered with excitement as a seed of mischief began to take hold in her opportunistic brain.

“What?” Lizzia inquired as she joined her friend and viewed the scene below. “Who’s that and why is that centaur training him?”

“Huh?” she looked again. ‘Oh yeah the youth,’ she recalled and then studied her friend, studying the youth. Did Lizzia’s mouth just quirk up a little? And were her eyes sparkling with interest? She looked back down at the youth. Okay, so maybe the youth wasn’t that bad… in a… human sort of way. But just look at the shoulders on that centaur!

“So who is he?” Lizzia asked again.

“Oh, uh, I have no idea but I thought he looked promising,” Ria admitted as innocently a possible.

Lizzia knew better. “Ria, haven’t your learned anything? Every time you meddle everything gets off schedule and important lists have to be revised. I’m still making adjustments from the last time.”

Ria waved her hand dismissively. “List, schmist. Come on admit it. You think he’s cute.”

“I…okay, fine. He’s cute. Happy now?” Lizzia responded.

“Delighted,” Ria beamed. “So, what’s the plan?”

“Plan? What plan? Someone made a plan?” she carefully checked her plan list. “It’s not on my plan list.”

Ria rolled her eyes in frustration. “Girlfriend, you are so in need of a little fun.” She glanced back down to earth, at the dark haired youth. “And maybe a bit of romance.”

“Ugh. Ria, I don’t have time. Just look at my schedule. I’m booked clear through the summer solstice. Nope, no time.” Lizzia shook her head firmly, ‘no’. She checked her schedule again. “Oh, look, I have just enough time to make my appointment with Demeter. She’s been concerned about a lack of offerings in Thracia and is considering delaying the harvest there and wants to make a list of the possible impact. See ya.” Lizzia gave her a friendly wave as she departed.

Ria sighed. “Harvests. Thrilling. Great Zeus that girl needs to lighten up and let go!” she lamented. She glanced back down at the youth and smiled. He was getting a swimming lesson from the centaur, minus any suits. “Well, that’s a new meaning to the term ‘bareback’.” She continued watching for a bit. “Not bad, not bad. And I certainly wouldn’t mind keeping an eye on that centaur for a bit. Now how do I get Lizzia and that youth together? Aphrodite won’t play along. She’s still miffed at me and laying low until Hera chills,” she knew, then smiled as she remembered something, “but I bet I could get Eros go along with the right incentive. And all I need is one of his arrows to make this work,” she smiled happily to herself as she headed out to visit an old friend.

~

“Yohoo,” Ria called out and tried not to step on anything.

Alexir poked his head around the corner and smiled. “Ria! I thought that was you! So what brings you to these parts?”

Using two fingers she moved some gizmo out of the way. She took a whiff of some powder in a bowl. “Ugh, what is this stuff?”

“Oh, saltpeter and a few other ingredients. I was working on an explosive device for Ares but I’m afraid it may take some centuries to refine. What can I do for you?” he asked as he bade her welcome and escorted her to more comfortable spot where they could relax and chat.

“I need a favor,” she told him.

“A favor, huh?” he eyed her warily. “The last favor I gave you had Tessina showing up at my door, snooping around.”

“Ugh, she’s just Hera’s lapdog. Her bark is worse than her bite,” Ria told him.

“Maybe for you, but not me. Need I remind you that I had to cut my ambrosia with dried apricots for over a week last time she was near me?” Alexir reminded her.

She waved her hand dismissively, “I told you prunes worked better. Besides, you’re fine.” She ignored Alexir’s dirty look. “And it’s not for me. It’s for Lizzia, actually.”

Alexir visibly brightened. “Lizzia, well, why didn’t you say so. Anything then.”

Ria smiled. She knew Alexir wouldn’t deny Lizzia a favor, even one Lizzia didn’t know anything about. “She needs a sort of hair…no make that feather dryer for Eros.”

“Huh? Why would she want a favor for Eros? And what’s he need something like that for anyhow?” Alexir asked, clearly confused.

Ria sighed. This was going to take some doing. “Okay, Lizzia is so… so practical all the time.”

“She’s the keeper of list and schedules, what do you expect?” Alexir pointed out.

“I know, I know. But don’t you think she deserve a little fun? Maybe even a little romance? Don’t you want to see her smiling and happy? In love even?” She’d decided the guilt trip was the best way to handle it.

“Of course I do. But I still don’t see what this has to do with a feather dryer,” he replied.

Ria rolled her eyes. “Do I have to explain everything?” She didn’t wait for a response. “Lizzia spotted a handsome mortal who made her eyes dazzle, and you should have seen her grin.” Okay so she’s elaborating a bit, so sue her. “But of course she claimed the ‘no time, too busy’ excuse. Poor Lizzia, always the keeper and never gets any of the fun. So this time is going to be different.”

“I’m happy she’s found someone interesting but I’m still waiting for the feather dryer part,” he reminded her.

“I’m getting there, I’m getting there. So, being the good friend that I am, and I now you are as well, I want to help. Don’t you?” she asked.

His arms crossed. “Still waiting.”

“You know, you could use a little romance as well. Want me to keep an eye out for you? Buxom blonds, right?” Ria asked.

“You shouldn’t hold things said at Dionysos’s parties against them. Still waiting,” Alexir scowled.

“Fine. Fine. See Eros mentioned last time we conspired, I mean collaborated on a project, that after a day of hard work shooting arrows at would be lovers, he likes to come back and soak in a hot tub. Unfortunately, the hot water is murder on his wings and it take hours for them to dry. I thought you might be able to come up with something that could help him out. That’s all,” she finally explained.

Alexir shook his head in confusion. “Why doesn’t he just use his powers to dry them?”

“Because, silly, feathers, like hair, are very delicate and when you use your powers to dry them, they’re all stiff and brittle. How can a god go flying around with brittle feathers and split ends?” she asked quite seriously.

Alexir just shook his head in defeat, as he was afraid to ask anything further. “Fine. Fine. I’ll see what I can come up with and let you know.”

Ria clapped her hands and then hugged him. “Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! Now I’m off to do some research.” She gave him a big kiss before leaving.

“A feather dryer. What the Hades is a feather dryer? I guess I should start with a heat source. Maybe I can borrow a small lightening bolt from Zeus for it?” he pondered.

~

Ria was in a much better mood as she once again reclined on her lounger and looked at how things were going below on Earth.

~

“MAXAMILLIAN! MOTHER WANTS YOU!” she called down from the cliff to her brother below.

Maximillian looked up and waved in reply. “I guess I better be going.”

“Why do you look like you’re going to your doom?” Michaellian asked.

“Because I am. Mother’s friend, the Lady Troy’s, daughter Pamelia arrived today for a visit,” he gloomily told him.

“And this Pamelia is your doom?” Michaellian asked with a slight smirk. He was very fond of his student.

“Possibly. Probably. I don’t know,” he admitted.

Michaellian laughed out loud. “Aren’t all women?”

Maximillian couldn’t help but smile. “Absolutely,” he answered as he gathered his things. “Same time tomorrow?”

“Yes, and bring your bow. You haven’t been practicing enough with it,” he admonished. Maximillian’s training had been entrusted into his care by order of Zeus, whom he owed his life to, and he took the obligation seriously.

“Yes, teacher,” he replied and gave a mock bow before heading up the path to the top of the cliff where his sister was waiting.

~

“Okay Blondie, who are you and what are you doing with Lizzia’s dark haired youth?” Ria wondered as she watched from above.

~

“I swear little brother, I detest being your keeper,” Isabella told him the second he was near earshot.

“Then don’t be. And I’m not your little brother,” he retorted.

“You are officially. And if you didn’t keep hiding out, Mother wouldn’t have to send me to fetch you, LITTLE brother,” Isabella retorted right back.

“I was six months old when Mother and Father found me, and so were you. For all we know I could be your older brother. It was just a stupid clerical mistake that they listed the Ides of March, the date I was found, as my birth date,” he explained for the hundredth time.

“Yeah, well, whatever. You were supposed to be home an hour ago. And did you have to go swimming in the ocean? Look at you. You’re a mess. And Pamelia is already there waiting to meet you.” She cast an accusing eye at him.

“From what I hear, I won’t be the first guy’s she’s met,” he shot back.

“Maximillian!” She bit her tongue to try to keep from laughing but… snort. Her brother soon joined her as they headed home.

~

“Sister, huh? Okay, she can stay.” Ria took another look at her: young, leggy blonde, certainly had the buxom part covered. “Possible, possible. It has been a while since Alexir had a fling. Hmm. Why not? Opportunity is my middle name…isn’t it?” She shook her head. She had more important things to think about. Who’s this Pamelia?

~

Maximillian ate his meal as quietly as possible with his mother taking up the slack.

“So Pamelia, how long will you be staying in Iolcos?” Diane asked politely and cast a warning glance at her son. He could be so stubborn sometimes.

“Oh, I’m not sure. It depends on how much opportunity there is for me to sell my wares here,” she replied sweetly and glanced over at the handsome young Maximillian of Iolcos.

~

“Wares? What wares? Opportunity? Sister, you don’t know the meaning of the word,” Ria scowled from above. She was going to have to do something about this one.

~

“You’re rather quiet, Maximillian,” Pamelia observed as they strolled around the town center after supper. According to her parents, he was considered quite a catch and it didn’t hurt that he was nice to look at either. She just needed to figure out the right bait to land him with.

“Oh, um, sorry,” he mumbled. He hated this. This was his mother’s entire fault. She considered it her job to find him a proper wife from a proper family, even if it killed him. “So how do you like Iolcos?”

“It’s nice. I like the seaport. Living inland, it’s a rare treat to see the ocean,” she answered politely. She could tell that he wasn’t really interested. She needed to do something to change that. “Could we go swimming? I’ve never swam in the ocean before.”

“Um…. okay,” he answered cautiously. “When would you like to go?”

“Now, silly. Right now!” She tugged on his arm toward the path that led to the beach.

“O-okay, but, um, we need to go this way to go get our bathing suits,” he stammered out. Okay, he was a normal guy and the idea of going skinny-dipping was exciting, but at the same time he wasn’t at all interested in her and he didn’t want to give her the wrong impression.

She giggled. “Why, whatever for? Come on.” She pulled him down along the path.

~

Ria had to admire her ability to take advantage of an opportunity, but not with this one. She was going to have to do something and fast. She waved her hand.

~

Maximillian stood there like an idiot. He had no idea what to do. Okay, maybe an idea, but no experience. So he just stood there as Pamelia removed layer after layer of clothing, and there weren’t that many layers to start with. As the final layer dropped in the sand his eyes almost popped out. “Uh, Pamelia, um….”

“What?” She wasn’t sure what to make of his reaction but right now she had other things to worry about, like scratching that itch that was right between her shoulder blades. “God, this is driving me nuts. Can you scratch it for me?”

His mouth dropped open. Touch her? Was she crazy? Not for all the d’nars in Greece. “Um, sorry, but, um… I… I hear my mother calling me. I gotta go.” He turned and ran as fast as possible.

She couldn’t believe it. What in Hades was wrong with him?! Gods, that itch was driving her nuts. She grabbed a piece of driftwood and started to scratch and scratch and scratch. Finally relief. She sighed contentedly as she pulled the stick away and dropped it in the sand. She just happened to glance it as she was picking up her clothes and noticed all the green scaly flecks covering it. She looked down at herself and screamed.

~

“If you’re going to be a piranha, you might as well look like one,” Ria smirked and then laughed. Now this was entertaining.

~

Part 2

It took three days but Alexir had finally delivered. She stood in front of a reflector and used a brush to hold up a section of her hair to dry. “Alexir, you’re a genius,” she proclaimed.

Alexir bowed slightly and smiled. “Thank you. I try.”

“Eros is going to love this. And the stand to hold it up while in use is simply perfect,” she continued.

“Just so this little scheme of yours works. You’re sure Lizzia is interested in this guy?” he inquired.

She stood back and admired her new hairdo. ‘And a little something you might find interesting as well,’ she thought to herself. “Absolutely!” She turned and hugged her friend. “Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome. Well, I need to get back to work. I’m glad I could be of help,” he told her and took his leave.

Ria waited until he left and then boxed the new blow dryer up in a pretty box and put a ribbon on it. She had a love god to call upon.

~

“Hello? Anyone home?” she called as she tapped on the door once and walked in.

Eros slipped a toga on and came around the corner at the sound. “Ria, don’t you know it’s not a good idea to walk in on a god of love unannounced?” he asked with a smile that hinted at something more.

“Unannounced? What, I called out, besides, I come baring gifts,” she told him and held out the box. She heard a giggle come from behind Eros and peaked around the corner. “Playing with the nymphs again, I see.”

“Ahh, what can I say, old habits die hard,” he replied, not one bit embarrassed.

“Mmm, yes, that never was a problem for you. Now on to the present.” She pushed the box towards him and smiled sweetly.

“You know, Mom always said to be careful of friends baring gifts, especially one from the goddess of mischief,” he commented as he looked at the package.

“She remembered me? How sweet. Tell her hello for me next time you see her. Will you?” she replied without missing a beat.

He was even more wary but also curious. “Why do I feel like Pandora?” he commented as he pulled the ribbon on the box and opened it. He had no idea what to make of it. “Uh, thanks. What is it?”

“Oh, don’t be silly, a blow dryer of course. One of Alexir’s newest gadgets, and it works wonders on feathers and hair alike. Well, at least the hair part. Let’s try out the feather feature,” she said and pulled out the dryer and just looked at him expectantly.

“Um, I was rather in the middle of something when you arrived,” he reminded her.

“So, send her away. It’s not like she’s the only nymph in the sea. She’s got forty-nine sisters for you to work through. And this is more important. I mean you have to try it out while I’m here. It’s only polite,” she informed him.

He knew her too well. “You’re up to something,” he accused.

She wasn’t one bit alarmed. “Of course I am, and don’t you want to find out what it is? Think of all the goods times we’ve shared.”

“Mmm,” he pondered. “Fine, wait here.” He was back a few moments later. “Okay, let’s try this thing out, but I had better not have one single singed feather.” A half hour later he sighed contentedly as warm air gently blew through his wings. “Mmm, I’ll have to thank Alexir personally for this one.”

“Well, just remember that it was I that remembered and thought of your needs,” she told him.

His eyes were closed as he sighed again, but his mind was wide-awake. “Indeed, and how should I repay this generosity?”

She ran her fingers lightly through the drying feathers. “I need to borrow something. It’s just for a little while and I promise to bring it back.”

“Mmm, let me guess. There’s a certain young man that’s caught your fancy and you need one of my arrows to help convince him,” he surmised.

“Something like that,” she hedged.

“Ria, so help me if you make Hera and Zeus go at it again…”

“This has nothing to do with either. I swear. It’s for Lizzia. She found a youth that she’s quite taken with and…well, you know she’s a little inexperienced when it comes to matters of the heart. Something you should have corrected sometime ago, I might add. Come on, she could use a little help to get things going. Do it for Lizzia, please?” she pleaded.

“Just Lizzia and then right back to me. And I swear, that youth had better be worth it,” he warned. He liked Lizzia and didn’t want her hurt. It was with some trepidation that he loaned out one of his golden arrows. “And don’t let Aphrodite know I gave you that or she’ll send me to Hephastos to make another one and it took me two months to make one last time!”

“Toodles!” she called back with a wave as she headed out to find her friend. They had an errand on Earth to run.

~

“Ria tell me again why we have to do this,” Lizzia asked as they walked along the dusty street.

“Because, he needs help with time management and who better than you to teach him? Besides, you’ve had your head stuck up in the clouds for way too long. You need a breath of fresh air.” She spotted the inn that she’d seen the youth eat at several times and headed for it. “And maybe a little something to wet your whistle while we wait.”

“Wet my whistle? While we wait? Ria, what’s going on? I really don’t have time for any games,” Lizzia lamented as her friend dragged her along. “And why would a king be coming to this place?” She looked up at the odd shaped saucer stone above the entrance. “Crashdown. Is it named such because it looks like that stone is going to crash down at any instance?”

Ria looked up. She hadn’t noticed that before. “I don’t know. Maybe. Come on, aren’t you a tiny bit curious what this place is like?”

“No, not really,” she answered just as Ria dragged her inside. It wasn’t very large, maybe fifteen or so tables. There were strange drawings on the walls of more saucer shaped objects and funny little people with big heads, no ears but antennas instead. Weird. “Okay, been here, seen it, can we go now?”

“Where’s your sense of adventure? Let’s sit over there and just watch for a bit,” she suggested as she dragged Lizzia over to the back table.

~

“Okay little brother, we’ve got to do something about you,” Isabella informed him as they walked.

“About me? Why? What’d I do?” he asked.

“Nothing, and that’s just it. You don’t ever do anything except hangout with that centaur. People a starting to talk,” she told him.

“Talk? About me and…and Michaellian? Are you nuts?” he asked incredulously with a snort.

“No, I’m not nuts and yes, about you two. And it didn’t help that you came running home last week when all Pamelia suggested was to go for a swim. The poor girl was humiliated and near hysterical when she got home. It took Mother forever to calm her down while she insisted on soaking in an oatmeal bath for hours,” she reminded him.

“Yeah, well, maybe she got rid of those scales then.” He shuddered at the memory.

Isabella rolled her eyes. “Maximillian, that’s not true and you know it. For someone who’s supposed to be the sensitive one, you sure can be a cad sometimes.”

“But it is true. They were green and scaly and covered her from…”

“Stop! Great Zeus, you’re being difficult. We need to do something about you,” she reiterated.

He knew it was useless to argue with his sister when she got like this. “Like what?” he asked in defeat.

“A girl, a nice girl that you won’t go running away from at the first sign of romance, or a bit of skin,” she told him.

“They were scales,” he mumbled underneath his breath. “But I still don’t see why you’re so interested in my love life, or lack of one.”

“Simple. I’m tired of all my friends bugging me about you. You’re putting a crimp in my social calendar,” she replied.

“In your social calendar? Why Isabella, I didn’t know you cared,” he bit back in reply.

“Oh but I do little brother, I care very much. Now, what’s you preference, blond or brunette?” she asked as they neared their favorite spot for an afternoon snack.

“What? I don’t’ know.” He thought of Pamelia’s blond hair falling against those green scales. “Brunette.”

“Really? Huh, I never knew that. Okay, brunette it is. Now blue or brown eyes?” she asked.

Again he thought of Pamelia. “Brown.”

“See this isn’t so hard. Now tall or petite?” She gave her brother a good once over. He’d really shot up these last two years but still. “Let’s go with petite. Trust me on this one. Now, busty or…not?”

His mouth opened but nothing came out. How was he supposed to answer that when it came from his sister? “Medium?” That was safe, wasn’t it?

“Okay, so let’s see if I got this, brown hair, brown eyes, petite, and not much of a boob man. Seems simple enough and yet you can’t seem to find someone. How odd,” she commented as they entered the Crashdown.

“Thanks sis. You’re a big help,” he remarked as he pulled a chair out for her.

“Oh. Great. Zeus. It’s him!” Lizzia exclaimed as the dark haired youth came in with some tall blond. “W-who’s that blond?” she asked, though afraid of the answer.

“Sister. Can you believe it?” Ria answered. “So, what are you waiting for? Get your butt over there and talk to him!”

“What?” Lizzia looked at her friend in alarm. “I-I can’t just go over there without a reason!”

“Fine.” She kept tugging on the hidden inside pocket of her cloak. The damn arrow was stuck, and she had to be careful not to touch the tip. That’s where the love potion was stored. Last thing she needed to happen was to accidentally make herself fall in love with some ox of a barkeep or something. She glanced over at the waitress, who was busy talking to the other waitress and ignoring the customers. She got an idea. “Okay Lizzia, follow me.”

They headed behind the curtain that cordoned off the storage area. Ria peaked about the curtain at the waitress again. Short light blue tunic with silver apron, that’s easy enough. A quick wave of the hand and voila. “Congrats Lizzia, you are now the new waitress here. Go take his order. Go on, go on. Get his order.” She pushed her out and towards the front where they were sitting, while she remained hidden behind the curtain. “Let’s just see what happens. I can use the arrow anytime,” she told herself as she pulled out a piece of ambrosia to munch on while she waited and watched.

Lizzia nervously walked towards him. She had no idea what she was going to say or what she was even doing. She simply stood nervously in front of the table and looked at him as he studied the menu tablet. His hair was even darker than she’d remembered from that all too brief glimpse of him from above. He was tan, like he’d spent some time out doors. “Umm.” He looked up. His eyes locked onto hers. They were gorgeous, a sort of soft hazel, and ringed by incredibly long lashes.

“Hi, I’d…” he forgot what he was going to order as he looked up. She was… perfect. Her eyes were inviting and warm, her skin smooth and silky. She nervously tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear, and he marveled at how soft her hair looked and fought the urge to touch it.

“Yes, I’ll have the fruit salad,” Isabella said without looking up. When she heard no reply in acknowledgement, nor did she hear her brother ordering, she looked over at him. He was looking up at the waitress with his mouth hanging open and this silly ‘lost puppy dog’ look. She looked up and saw the reason why. Brunette, brown eyes, petite, and good thing her brother wasn’t a boob man. “Maximillian, are you going to order?” No response. “Little brother? Hello, anyone home?” She kicked his shin.

“Huh? What’d you kick me for?” he asked as he rubbed his leg.

“Are you going to order or just stare at the hired help?” She asked.

“Oh, I…” He looked back up and forgot what he was going to say again.

“Great. Just great. He went mute again,” she grumbled and rolled her eyes. “He’ll have some pine nut gruel and a side of mutton.” It was then that she noticed that the waitress was staring back at her brother just as intently. She looked at her brother again, who was just sitting there a total goner, then back up at the waitress. “Excuse me, miss. I said he’ll have the pine nut gruel and a side of mutton, and I’ll have the fruit salad.” She touched the girl’s hand. “Did you get that?”

Lizzia wasn’t sure what came over her but it took the girl (the sister, wasn’t she? She’d better be.) touching her before she could tear her eyes away from him. She nodded. “Yes, yes, of course. Coming right up,” she said and beat a hasty retreat to her friend behind the curtain.

“By the Gods Ria, what am I going to do?” Lizzia asked in near panic.

“Go get him his food, girl!” Ria smiled in delight at her friend’s obvious good fortune to find someone that was just as smitten, and without any help from Eros’s arrow even.

“Right, right. His food. Wait, what did he order?” Lizzia was officially past panic and well on her way to a full fledge freak out. “I don’t remember and I can’t go back and ask him again!”

“Chica, it’s no problem. We’ll just…” she looked around. What the Hades did she know about serving mortals? She spotted the sign at the entrance. “That, that gyro thingie they have advertised. He’ll never know the difference.”

“You’re sure?” Lizzia asked.

“Absolutely,” Ria assured her. She watched as the cook looked at Lizzia funny, as if he had never seen her before, which he hadn’t, as she turned in the order for two gyros. Ria then turned her attention back to the youth and his sister. She’d been watching him over the last few days, trying to get as much information as possible and felt certain that something as going on with the youth. Why would a centaur be training him and him alone, and near town no less? Centaurs kept to their own kind usually. At the most they might set up a school for certain gifted individuals and train humans alongside other young centaurs. But always on their own turf unless in case of war, and according to Ares, no wars were planned for this area at the moment. And again, why just him? A centaur wouldn’t do it unless he had no choice. But who could make a centaur do anything? The only answer she could come up with was a god or goddess, but which one? And why? She looked at the piece of ambrosia she had been munching on and got an idea. There was one way to tell if this Maximillian of Iolcos was more than he seemed. Only a god or goddess could tolerate ambrosia. Let’s see what he is made of.

“Psst, psst.” Ria resorted to in order to get Lizzia’s attention. “Psst.”

Lizzia, carrying two platters with gyros on them, walked over to the curtained off storage area. “Tell me you didn’t just ‘psst’ me.”

Ria dismissed it with a roll of the eyes. “Whatever. It worked. Is one of those for loverboy?”

“Ria, I’m quite sure his name isn’t loverboy, is it?” She shook her head. “But in any case, the answer is yes.”

“Good, give me his.” She simply reached out and grabbed it before Lizzia could protest and quickly dropped a bit of ambrosia in with the fixings.

“RIA! What are you doing? He can’t stomach that? It’s too hot. It’ll make him sick!” she protested.

“Maybe. Maybe not. And that’s what we need to discover. Just be sure he gets the right sandwich thingie.” Ria told her and shooed her away. And waited. And watched.

“Here you go, two gyros,” Lizzia said as she put the platters down, careful not to look at the youth, afraid she’d become lost in his eyes again.

“Gyros? We didn’t order gyros,” Isabella informed her.

Max took a bite. “Delicious,” he said, his eyes glued to the face that refused to look up. He took another bite and froze. He looked at his sandwich, trying to figure out what was different. He took another bite, and another, and another. “This is good. Really, really good,” he proclaimed and ate with gusto.

“You’re kidding. Mr. Didn’t Mind Mud Pies Because It All Tastes The Same, actually likes something? What’s wrong with you? You sick?” Isabella asked and then decided to try her gyro. “Tastes the same to me,” she said and then looked over at her brother. “You know, what they say about you is true. You really are weird.”

Lizzia was dumbfounded. He’d eaten the ambrosia-laced gyro and liked it. That wasn’t possible. No human, or mortal of any kind, could tolerate ambrosia. So that would mean… she felt herself pale as the cold realization hit her, this was no mortal. “W-who are you?” Her voice quaked.

Maximillian looked up with a smile. “Maximillian of Iolcos.” He noticed her state. “Are you okay? Do you want to sit down?” he asked, genuinely concerned. He helped her to his chair. “Just take it easy.”

Ria was galvanized into action by her friend’s state. “Lizzia, I was wondering where you got to.” She was at her friend’s side in flash. “Come along, you should get some fresh air,” she told her as she tugged at her arm.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Maximillian asked as she swayed a little as she rose.

Steadying herself, “Yes. Yes, I’m fine.”

Ria took her elbow. “She’s fine,” she reiterated and began to escort her out.

“Wait. Um, when do you work again?” he asked, almost as surprised at himself asking, as the three ladies around him were. He blushed deeply and swallowed. “I sort of need to plan my lunch break. And you’re quite an improvement over Helgrat.” He gave a slight nod to the rather rotund waitress that really should never be seen in public in anything less than something floor length.

“Oh, she’s not….”

“At high noon,” Lizzia quickly said. This boy was a mystery. And she simply couldn’t stand for mysteries to go unsolved. They wreaked havoc on her schedules. Besides, he did look good in that tunic, slightly bowed legs and all.

Maxillian smiled a very happy smile as he watched them leave. Tomorrow at noon. He would take a long lunch starting at tomorrow at noon. A face with long blond hair suddenly loomed before him. His smile dimmed. “What? You said I should fine someone.”

“A WAITRESS?! Wait ‘till Mother hears about this!” Isabella threatened and stormed out.

Maxilimillian dawdled for a moment as he basked in the afterglow of meeting the most incredible women in the world. Someone knocked into him, bringing him back from his daze and he realized his sister had already left. He ran to catch up with her. “Wait! Why’s Mother need to know?” he shouted.

~

Hera watched from above with interest. She’d already sent for her favorite little sister. She felt her stomach twinge slightly and knew she had arrived. “Tessina, my dear. It’s been too long.” Her smile never faulted as they briefly embraced. Hera felt her stomach start to knot up. She needed to make this as brief as possible.

Tessina smiled briefly. “Yes, it has been. You’ve been rather… busy lately.”

“Yes, yes, I have been. Which brings me to what I wanted to show you. Come take a look, my dear.” She stepped aside to give her sister a wide berth, not wanting to actually have to touch her again. Her stomach couldn’t stand much more.

Tessina’s eyebrow went up when she spotted the two goddesses down there on Earth. “What’s up with those two?”

“I’m not sure but I thought we should check it out,” she told her. “And I understand that their good friend, Alexir, was harassing Zeus for a small bolt of lightning a few days ago. Said something about doing a favor for Lizzia. And now Lizzia and Ria are lurking around on Earth.” She pointed to a dark haired youth that was running to catch up to some blond. “And Lizzia was even playing waitress with that boy,” she casually mentioned. “Imagine, a goddess serving a mortal. Disgusting.”

“Yuck! What in the world for?” Tessina asked. The boy wasn’t bad. Might be kind of fun to play with. But serve him? Never.

“My point, exactly. We should really teach them a lesson. Imagine Lizzia lowering herself, and by extension all of us on Mt. Olympus, by doing something like that. And need I remind you of all the trouble that Ria has caused recently?” Hera pointed out.

“So what should we do?” Tessina asked like a good little lap dog.

“Well, as queen, I can’t really go down there. Too many people would notice. And since I’ve ‘officially’ forgiven Zeus for that little ‘dalliance’ earlier, it might be seen as spiteful for me to actually interfere with anything Ria’s meddling in, so I thought of you.” She smiled delightedly. “After all I’ve been through recently, I thought you’d be happy to help me out a little.”

“You said Alexir was by to see Zeus?” she asked as she watched the youth arguing with the blond as they walked.

“Indeed, and I know you are still smarting over that… that stink bomb he left for you and then saying he was just returning the ‘gaseous’ favor you’d caused him,” she reminded her.

Tessina’s face puckered up in disgust as she recalled the incident. “I’d be happy to find out what those two are up to down there and see how I can balance a few things out. Starting out with paying good ol’ Alexir a visit. I’ll let you know what I find out.” She touched cheeks with Hera for a moment, and pretended to ignore the grimace her sister couldn’t quite hide.

“Thank you, my dear,” she said as Tessina left and then grabbed her stomach as it started gurgling as gas built up. “Maybe tonight I’ll share my bed with Zeus for old time sake and be sure to fluff the blankets often.”

~

“A waitress? What in the world is the matter with that boy?” Diane asked the ceiling as she lay in bed while her husband was reviewing some legal scrolls.

“Don’t be too hard on him. At least he’s showing some interest in someone,” Philippe pointed out as he continued to read.

“Ugh, those stupid rumors. Michaellian is his teacher. Of course they’re going to spend a lot of time together. Maximillian is just selective.” Diane repeated the long-standing answer she’d given whenever the subject was brought up.

“Yes, and apparently he’s selected a waitress,” Philippe reminded her.

Diane sighed. This wasn’t what or whom she’d planned for her only son. “A waitress,” she sighed again at the inevitable.

Philippe smiled a little outwardly and was dancing a jig with delight on the inside. ‘A girl, his son was interested in a girl. Hot damn.’ He’d been getting worried about those centaur rumors. “It would appear so. Good night, dear,” he told her and kissed her on the temple before blowing out the lamp.

~

“Oh Alexir, anybody home?” Tessina called out from the entrance.

Alexir turned around and froze. “What do you want?” he asked and backed up as she came closer. “Stop. Stay where you are.”

“Now Alexir, is that anyway to treat a guest?” Tessina said as she advanced.

“I’ll let you know when I have one,” he retorted as he retreated.

“I was just wondering what you had going with Ria and Lizzia lately. I spotted them down on Earth. Something about a bolt of lightning? Lightning bolts can be dangerous, be careful you don’t get burned, Alexir,” Tessina pointed out.

“Only if it hits a gas cloud,” he said and took a step back.

Her faced scrunched up. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Anything you want. Now blow. I’ve got things to do,” He told her and took a stand, as his stomach protested her proximity. Under normal circumstances he wouldn’t do it, but his stomach needed the relief. RIIIIPPPP, he sighed feeling much better now.

“UGH! That’s disgusting!” She announced and stormed out.

“Better out than in.” Alexir smiled as his stomach settled down and he got back to work. But he kept wondering what Ria and Lizzia were up to. Ria said that Lizzia was smitten with some youth. It was never good to have Tessina snooping around. He should probably make a short trip to Earth to warn them, he decided.

~

Part 3

“Okay Chica, so tomorrow you are going to have a nice surprise lunchtime picnic planned for one Maximillian of Iolcos,” Ria informed her as they strolled along the outskirts of the town.

“Ria, he ate ambrosia! How could he eat ambrosia? It’s just not possible!” Lizzia continued to dwell on the mystery.

Ria turned and faced her friend. “Lizzia concentrate here. Lunch. Tomorrow. Ring any bells?”

“Of course it does. It’s just that… something’s wrong. He’s not what he seems.” She turned to her friend and pinned her with a stare. “And you knew that. Didn’t you? That’s why you put the ambrosia in his food,” she accused her friend, of what exactly, she wasn’t sure.

“Okay, guilty. I had some suspicions, which are now confirmed, now what?” Ria asked.

“I don’t know,” Lizzia admitted.

“You don’t know. That’s great. A cute guy, who most likely has a few god-like tendencies, and you don’t know what to do with him.” She rolled her eyes in frustration. “Fine. Here’s what you’re gonna do. You are not going to pass this opportunity up. You are going to meet him tomorrow at that Crashdown place and then bring him to a nice secluded spot for a little ambrosia and some good old fashion nookie.”

“Ria,” she shook her head at her. “I can’t just… “

“Like Hades you can’t!” Ria told her. She was beginning to think that she should have given both of them a good jab with the arrow after all. It would have made things so much easier. “You are a goddess for crying out loud! And he’s…he’s sort of one too, what’s the problem?”

“Tessina’s snooping around,” Alexir picked that moment to make an appearance.

“Great. That’s just great,” Ria rolled her eyes and shook her head. Why’d this have to be so hard? It seemed so simple from Mt. Olympus. A cute guy, a nice goddess who worked hard and deserved a bit of fun, all made for a golden opportunity. What the Hades made it so difficult? “What’s she after?”

“Not sure but she was asking about why you two are skulking around here.” He turned to Lizzia. “Hey Lizzia, it’s good to see you,” he said and gave her a good hug. “So is he?”

“Is he what?” Lizzia asked as the pulled back and looked at each other.

“Is he worth it, this human?” He clarified.

Lizzia thought about it for a moment and recalled those incredible soulful eyes and long eyelashes that she bet tickled when brushed against bare skin. The thought sent a shiver down her. “Yeah, I think he might be, but…”

Alexir rolled his eyes. “There’s always a ‘but’.”

“But he likes ambrosia,” Lizzia explained.

“Oh great. Which God’s gone MIA and is playing a little joke?” Alexir asked. “Any clue?”

“No, I mean, I don’t think that’s it,” Lizzia considered. Could he be some other god in disguise? Who would do that? Why? She got along with everyone…well, maybe not Tessina, but Alexir said that he had just seen her.

“Then who is he?” Alexir asked

“I don’t know.” She thought of something, something about mud pies. “I’m not even sure if he knows.”

“A new god just…what? Sprung up out of nowhere? Zeus would be most displeased,” Alexir commented.

“Not if…um, what if Zeus…I mean the guy does get around. You don’t suppose….” Lizzia hazard a guess.

“Great. Then Hera is gonna be most displeased,” Ria pointed out. “What about the sister?”

Alexir looked at her. “What sister?”

“The…” Ria then recalled her other part of the plan, the buxom blond part.

“I think she’s human. She had no problem with the food, no ambrosia needed,” Lizzia thought out loud. She turned to her friend. “It would explain the centaur that’s training him. Only someone like Zeus could command a centaur to make that kind of sacrifice and commitment.”

“Oh, I supposed so. Which leads us all right back to where we started from, you having a bit of romance with one possibly half-god youth, and me…well, let’s see what I can cook up for our dear Tessina.” She turned to her other friend, “Alexir, you care to join me? Got any more of those stink bombs?” She smiled delightedly at the thought.

Alexir suddenly decided that he had been cooped up with work for too long and needed a break. “Oh, I can probably cook something up. What’d ya have in mind?”

~

Michaellian scowled as he neared his young charge sitting on a rock outcropping on the beach. Arms crossed, he came right up next to him, yet Maximillian didn’t acknowledge him. It was doubtful Maximillian even knew he was there. “Where’s your bow?” he asked without a response. “Rumor has it that Pan is loose in the countryside, harassing maidens. Think we should send your sister to check it out? She’d be safe, wouldn’t she?” he tried a joking insult. Nothing. He stomped over in front and rapped him up side the head. “Snap out of it!”

The mild blow caught him off guard and almost knocked him over. “Huh?” he asked, startled to see his teacher right there in front of him. He hadn’t heard him coming.

“I said to snap out of it! You look…you look…” Oh no. Not now. “You’re in love,” he accused. “Who is she?”

“How’d you…I mean…I…”

“Great, you can’t even complete a sentence. This is bad. Very bad. Don’t you know love can get you killed? Make you do asinine things? All reason flies out the window when you’re in love. You need to shake this female and send her away,” he commanded. “It is a female, isn’t it?” He’d never been sure about his student, and never cared one way or the other because it didn’t matter, until now.

“YES, it’s a she. And no, I won’t send her away. She’s…she’s perfect,” he said with a delighted smile and got all dreamy eyed as he thought of her luscious lips and big brown eyes.

“Terrific. I’ve lost him again,” and he smacked him upside the head once more, a little harder this time.

“Owww, cut that out,” Maximillian told him as he rubbed his head.

“Stay with me then. Females are trouble. Just look at what that Helen caused! Ten years of war, for what? A pretty face. What’s this one going to cost? You’re already distracted and sporting sappy looks. Next thing you’ll be at her beck-and-call, doing everything she tells you to,” he accused.

“That’s not true. And she’s not just another pretty face. She…she makes everything clearer, better. Even my food tastes better with her near. It was magical. And I won’t send her away.” He held firm.

Michaellian paled a little. What was that about his food? He knew that Maximillian had trouble tasting anything. Only the spiciest dishes could come close, and he knew why too. It wasn’t all that hard to figure out, given the unusual interest Zeus had apparently shown an orphan babe. He had gone so far as to secure a decent home and then asked Michaellian to train him. Maximillian was most likely Zeus’s son. And since it was doubtful Hera was his dear old Mother, it was best to keep him under wraps. This wasn’t good. “Who is this girl and where did you meet her?”

Maximillian shrugged. “The Crashdown. She’s the new waitress there. And I tell you, that gyro she served was out of this world!”

“I’m sure,” he commented as his suspicion grew. “Look, we have a lot to do. It’s best for you to stay away from her. She’s too much of a distraction for you. We’ll work on your bow and then….”

“No. I told her I would stop by for lunch today at high noon and that’s what I am going to do,” he stated firmly and braced for a smack on the head that he knew was coming for his insubordination.

His tail swished wildly at the impertinence, and his arms were once again crossed in annoyance. “I’m telling you she’s trouble. Stay away.”

“No,” he answered and swallowed, very much aware of how angry Michaellian was getting. It was never a good idea to piss off a centaur and he’d just done so, royally.

Michaellian could see the defiance in the boy. He knew, that even if he beat him within an inch of his life, that at high noon, Maximillian would be at the Crashdown. “Fine. I could use a bite to eat myself. I’ll go with you.”

“WHAT?!” Maximillian was astonished. Michaellian hated going into town. “Why?”

“Lunch,” was all he would say on the matter. He needed to see who this girl was or more precisely what she was. And find out whom was setting up his charge like this, for he smelled a trap. And he had a very good sense of smell. “Go get your bow. We still have a few hours before lunch and I want to make sure you have a good appetite. Now let’s get to work.”

~

“Okay, so why are we here again?” Alexir asked as they sat at the counter of a rather unsavory looking drinking establishment.

“Reconnaissance,” Ria answered, as she was busy scanning the crowd, looking for just the right one. There, over there, was a face only a mother could love, and even she might have second thoughts. “Perfect.”

Alexir looked and cringed. “For what, the Ugly of the Year Award?”

“What was that?” a drunken patron sitting next to Alexir asked. “You talkin’ ‘bout me friend?”

Alexir waved his hand in front of his face at the breath. “Ugh, ever heard of minty fresh?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” the drunk asked as he rose to his feet, swaying a bit.

Alexir gave Ria a bored look. “Are we almost done, yet?”

“Almost, we just have to attract the right sort of attention,” Ria replied as she kept an eye Mr. Ugly.

The drunk poked Alexir in the chest. “Hey, I’m talkin’ to you.”

“Yeah, well, please don’t,” he answered, crinkling his nose in disgust.

“You think you’re funny, don’t ya boy?” the drunk poked him again.

“You know, you really don’t want to be doing that,” the God Alexir advised.

“Yeah? Whatcha gonna do ‘bout it?” He poked him again.

“Okay, but remember, you asked,” Alexir pointed out.

The drunk couldn’t comprehend how the lanky kid could have picked him up and sent him flying so easily. But there he was, across the room in pile of broken wood and splinters that used to be a table.

“That’s not exactly the kind of attention I was talking about,” Ria informed him.

“Yeah, well, you take what you get,” he answered as one of the drunk’s friends decided to help his friend out and soon joined him in the pile of rubble. Alexir looked around and noticed several men, most of them drunk, started circling around them, just spoiling for a fight. Crap. He had to draw more and more on his god-strength to fend them off. “You could help, you know,” he mentioned to Ria as she continued to watch Mr. Ugly and waited for the right attention to walk through the door. He didn’t have time to dwell as two more ‘friends’ of the drunk came towards him.

Someone, who could only be a close relative of Mr. Ugly, lunged for her. Ria was indignant when he grabbed her arm. “Just what do you think you’re doing? Let go.”

“Come on, Missy. Give us a little,” the drunk slurred and smiled, revealing his missing front teeth.

“A little? You want a little, eh? Okay, here it comes.” She reached behind and grabbed a wine bottle and smashed it over his head before he could react in his inebriated state. “Hope it was as good for you as it was for me,” she smiled sweetly at him as he slumped to the floor. She looked around again and spotted Mr. Ugly picking up a club. This wasn’t good, and neither she nor Alexir had any real desire to blow their cover and reveal themselves with a blatant use of their powers. Something had better happen and soon. She blanched as she felt her stomach suddenly grumble. “Ugh, Alexir, do you…”

“Yep, I’ll match you’re grumble and raise ya one,” he remarked and looked around as people started grabbing the stomachs. “Whatever you have planned better happen soon,” he told her as he waved his hand in the air as it became a bit aromatic in there.

“My, my, my, slumming again I see,” Tessina scoffed as she waltzed in. “Alexir, so nice to see you again.”

“Can’t say the same,” Alexir shot back.

“So to what do we owe the pleasure, Tessina?” Ria asked with Eros’s arrow now in her hand behind her back. She had to position Tessina just right before giving her a good jab.

“Oh, you know me. Go where I’m needed. I saw your little fun…” She looked around and crinkled her nose in disgust. “And thought you might need a hand.”

“Just like a pain in the ass that….”

“Alexir! It was awfully sweet of Tessina to come to our aide.” Ria cut Alexir off as she circled around the other goddess. She just had to get her looking over towards the back there. “Humph, what’s that he’s got?” Ria asked and made a point to look at Mr. Ugly, who was doubled over holding his stomach.

“What? Where?” Tessina spun around but didn’t see what Ria was talking about.

“There, right over there, see it? The guy on the floor, towards the back,” she instructed and as Tessina looked, Ria gave her a good jab in butt with the arrow.

“WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?” Kyllian asked as he opened the door and walked in with guards following him.

Tessina jumped from the shout, felt something sort of stick her in the rump, turned, and fell immediately in love with the dark haired young man in uniform.

“Crap,” Ria commented and sighed.

“That’s probably not the best thing to say out loud right about now,” Alexir informed her. He’d seen what Ria had done and looked at the young man that just came in and then over at Mr. Ugly. “You missed,” he observed.

“Yeah, no kidding,” Ria replied, most displeased. “He has rotten timing.”

Alexir watched as the new guy rubbed his stomach when Tessina neared. “I’m sure he’d agree with you at the moment.”

Ria regarded them for a moment. She’d intended to make Tessina fall in love, and thus distract her from whatever she’d been sent to do. But she’d planned on Mr. Ugly, not a cute guy. Though the cute guy didn’t seem to be too upset, just his stomach was. Well, why not? “Okay, I think our errand here is finished. Let’s go, Alexir. We got a lunch date to oversee.”

Alexir watched, as Tessina was definitely distracted for the moment. Poor guy. Alexir’s stomach rumbled as they passed by the new couple and out of the corner of his eye he saw Ria reach out and prick the guy as she went past him. “Ria, that’s…that’s mischievous.” He grinned.

“That’s my middle name…or at least one of them. Come on, it’s almost noon.” They hurried over to the Crashdown to aide their friend, just in case.

~

“You don’t have to come,” Maximillian said again for the hundredth time. He knew Michaellian didn’t like the stares that followed him through town.

“I’m hungry. Thought someone’s cooking besides my own would be good for a change.” He looked up at the saucer shape stone. “What the Hades is that?”

Maximillian shrugged. “No idea. They had this silly idea about flying saucers and little green men.” He shook his head. Crazy.

Lizzia waited nervously outside the café with a picnic basket in hand. She’d ordered up two of those gyros, which she spiced with ambrosia, and a bottle of wine. She hoped this would work. She caught sight of him as he rounded the corner and beamed a smile at him. She raised an eyebrow at the sight of the centaur walking with him. “HI!” she called out and waved them over. “Hi, um, I… I thought you might want to go on a picnic, but…um, I didn’t plan for…for…”

Maximillian loved her smile, and gave her one in return. “Oh, um, yeah, this is Michaellian, my teacher. Michaellian, this is…uh, I’m sorry but I don’t think I caught…”

“Lizzia,” she supplied.

“Lizzia. Beautiful…I mean, that’s a beautiful name,” Maximillian said as he stared at her and began to get lost in her soft gaze.

Michaellian’s arms were crossed as he saw how they were looking at each other. This was worse than he could have imagined. “Ah-hum,” he tried clearing his throat to get their attention. It failed.

“What the Hades is THAT doing here?” Ria demanded as her and Alexir spotted their friend and her soon-to-be lover standing there looking all love sick and happy.

“Looks like this half-god has a centaur for a bodyguard,” Alexir commented. “You gonna use that arrow again to distract him?”

“Humph, the way my luck’s been going lately, he’d turn and look at me if I did and that’s all I’d need,” Ria quipped. “Come on. Let’s go play block the bodyguard.”

“So what’s for lunch? I’m starving!” Michaellian proclaimed.

“Huh? Oh, um, I didn’t realize that…” It was so hard for Lizzia to tear herself away from his gaze and think.

“Lizzia! There you are. Now come along. We found a nice quiet spot for you two. Just down the road and past that grove of trees is a lovely meadow. It even has a small brook running through it,” she announced and started shooing them along.

“But…um, what about…”

“It would be rude to….”

“Go on, get going,” she shooed them onward and then stood in front of the centaur. “Where do you think you’re going, hmm, horse-boy?” she challenged.

“That’s my lunch. Now get out of my way,” he challenged right back. His nostrils flared and his tail flicked wickedly. He loved a good challenge.

“Yeah, well, find some other eating trough, this one’s taken,” she glared.

“Bite me!” he snarled.

“Oh, that’s really not a good idea,” Alexir warned from his observation post leaning against the café.

“Bite you? Not on your life! I have no desire to go mad with rabies!” she snarled back.

“You’re already mad so what’s the difference!” he yelled and then scowled. “Now look what happened. I lost them!” He sidestepped and took off down the road at a gallop after them. “Stupid females and their stupid distractions,” he grumbled as he went.

“That went rather well,” Alexir observed rather dryly.

“Ohhh, come on!” she exploded as she followed. “Stupid centaurs and their stupid distractions!”

~

Maximillian spread out his cloak on the grass so they could sit. “I thought you had to work?”

Lizzia blushed. “Oh that, um, they didn’t really need me so I took the day off. This is better, don’t you think?”

“Definitely, most definitely,” he smiled at her. She poured him glass of wine. “Delicious.” He didn’t taste a thing.

“Here, I brought you another gyro, like yesterday,” she offered.

He perked up. “Yeah?” He asked excitedly.

Maybe the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach after all, she thought. “Yeah.”

~

“Just hold it right there, horse-boy,” Ria commanded as they caught up with the centaur near the edge of the grove of trees.

“Don’t call me that!” Michaellian demanded.

“What? Horse-boy?” She looked him up and down. “Well, that’s what you are, aren’t you?”

“My name is Michaellian,” he growled.

“Look horse-boy,” she held up her hand, “sorry, correction, Michaellian, Lizzia likes him, and he likes her. Let them have some fun.”

“No,” he answered firmly and started through the trees.

Ria ran in front of him, causing Michaellian to come to a fast halt and rear up, so as not to step on her.

“Don’t do that! You’re going to get hurt,” he warned.

“Look, what’s wrong with having a little fun?” she asked. She noticed that Alexir came to stand next to her.

“Not him, and with not her. They’re not good together,” he told them.

Ria glanced over her shoulder and could see them sitting on a cloth, sharing a goblet of wine, and smiling shyly at each other. “Look at them. How can you say that? They’re perfect for each other.”

“A goddess and a mortal? No, they’re not. Are they, GODDESS?” Michaellian accused.

“Okay, so they’re not your average, everyday lovers, but…hey, what tipped you off?” Ria asked.

“Let’s just say I know a goddess,” he glanced over at the male, “or god when I see one.”

“Interesting,” Alexir commented.

Ria took a huge gulp of air and let it out, hoping it would calm her. “Let’s try this again. I am the Goddess Ria and this is the God Alexir,” she said and then nodded towards her friend sitting in the meadow, “and that is the Goddess Lizzia, who is very sweet and totally in love with your young charge there. What’s the harm in that?” she asked, keeping her tone as sweet and gentle as possible.

“That’s none of your business,” Michaellian answered and started towards the meadow, this time to find his way blocked by Alexir.

“Careful centaur, there’s a pothole here, wouldn’t want you to fall and break a leg,” he warned. Lizzia was his friend, and besides, this was no way to treat a goddess.

“Yeah, you know what happens to horses that breaks a leg, don’t you?” Ria threatened.

Michaellian stomped in aggravation but came no closer. His instructions from long ago had been clear. Maximillian was to be trained as a warrior, educated as a scholar, and made to keep a low profile for his own safety. Taking a goddess for a lover did not make for a low profile. “Fine,” he growled menacing and stomped away. If they wanted to play dirty, he knew a trick or two about that. Two could play at this game. Now to find where the pesky sister of Maximillian had gotten to.

~

I wanted to make a few comments about mythology and how it relates to this story, as well as the tone of this story in general.

As I said at the beginning, I am taking certain liberties with Greek/Roman mythology as I blend it with the Roswellian world.

First off, all of the Roswellian Gods/Goddesses are made up. There was no god of gadgets or goddess of lists and schedules, or even one of constipation. That's why I picked those descriptions.

Second, I am changing a few things as I go. For instance, in mythology ambrosia is the nectar of the gods, and any mortal who eats ambrosia becomes a god. I have obviously changed that to ambrosia being too spicy for mortals to tolerate and basically taking the place of Tabasco on Roswell. As we go, there will probably be more examples of this.

Third, I am a spoiled dreamer, as is Devil Kitty. If you are coming here with the expectation of finding a sympathetic Tess, forget it. You won’t find it here.

Forth, I am not a scholar. This is not a history lesson. I posted links of the source materials at the beginning for reference. If you have any questions about the mythology, that site explains things fairly simply without getting too complicated. This story is meant for entertainment value only, it is no more accurate than the old Hercules and Xena shows were, probably even less so.

With that in mind, I hope that I haven’t scared anyone off, and that you are able to enjoy the story even with the obvious liberties that are being taken.

Thank you for your support,
Taffy

This is only about half of what I had planned for this chapter, but I wanted to post something before too much more time slipped away. RL is majorly interrupting my Roswell time.


Part 4

“Okay, what kind of trouble has that my lamebrain brother of mine gotten into again?” Isabella asked as they jog towards a grove of trees. “And why me? I mean if this is serious shouldn’t I go get my father?”

“No,” Michaellian barked in reply and slowed down some more. Why were females so damn slow, anyhow?

“But why me?” she persisted.

“You’ll see when you get there,” he replied as they finally neared the meadow. He spotted that annoying blond goddess standing there at the edge of the grove smiling and looking all smug and happy as she watched Maximillian and that other goddess. He glanced over at the meadow and his mood darkened even more. Maximillian was sucking the face off of that goddess. “Damn it. Hurry up!” he growled and picked up the pace. He had to put a stop to this fast, before it’s too late.

“Wait, where are you taking me? You can’t just come dragging me away like this. And what kind of trouble could he….”

Michaellian grabbed her chin and turned it to look in the meadow, at her brother who was currently in a pretty serious lip-lock.

“Oh. Ugh, gross. Just what I wanted to see, my brother making out.” She turned to glare at the centaur. “This is what you dragged me out of my house for?” she yelled.

“Yeah, she’s not his type. She’s trouble, I tell you. Trouble. He won’t listen to me. I thought…”

“You thought he’d listen to me? Look, I’m flattered, but I’ve already tried and he’s being incredibly stubborn about her,” she explained in exasperation.

“She’s using him. He’s going to get hurt. I thought you cared about him,” he challenged.

“I…”

“So horse-boy, back for round two?” Ria asked as she approached them. “Went to get back-up I see.” She turned to the girl. “Look girlie, don’t worry about your brother, he’s in good hands.”

“Girlie? Oh, I so don’t think so. And who are you?” Isabella asked, her temper flashing.

“A friend of your brother’s friend over there. Trust me, she’ll take good care of him,” Ria tried once more to assure her.

“I bet!” Isabelle stated in a huff.

Michaellian grinned. This was working out beautifully. He could sit back and let Isabella take care of not only Maximillian and his hormone induced stupidity, but the pesky blond as well.

“Look Missy, no reason to get all huffy,” Ria retorted, hands on her hips.

Isabella pointed to her brother, who was still in the clutches of some common waitress, “Huffy? That’s my baby brother and I’m not going to let him get tangled up with some…waitress! Michaellian’s right. My brother is inexperienced with women and obviously she’s taking advantage of him. Just look at…” She turned and looked herself and was horrified to see her brother in a horizontal position and… “Oh no, no, no, no!” She took off towards the meadow.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Alexir asked as he finally heard the ruckus and came to investigate.

“Alexir, stop her!” Ria commanded and pointed at the leggy blond running off towards the two lovers, who she noted were making good time in getting to know each other.

Alexir knew better than to ask questions and quickly caught up with and overtook the blond. “Well, hello there.” He grinned. He rather liked what he saw.

“Hello? Get out of my way,” she ordered.

“Oh, I really don’t think so. Why don’t we go back over here and chat for a bit,” he suggested and grinned. He took her by the arm and started to lead her back to the others.

Isabella twisted her arm, trying to get away. “Let go of me! Maximillian! MAXIMILLIAN!” she yelled in earnest.

Maximillian paused as something finally reached him through the fog his brain was in. Wasn’t that Isabella? He forced his lips away from Lizzia and looked around.

Lizzia panted for breath. “W-what’s wrong?”

“I thought I heard my sister,” he told her as he continued to scan the area. He was sure that was Isabella.

“I said, let go!” Isabella demand as she was marched back over to the centaur and the blond. He finally released her when they were back in the grove of trees with the others. “Now what?” she demanded, arms crossed, her ire up.

Ria fumbled with Eros’s arrow from underneath her cape. One good jab and she’d shut that annoying sister up.

“So, you’re his sister?” Alexir asked with a charming smile, clearly interested.

“Well, duh,” Isabella snapped in reply. She glanced over at the meadow. Good. At least her brother had come up for air and was looking around. Maybe he’d heard her after all.

Michaellian was curious about what the big-mouthed blond goddess was doing. She was up to something, he could tell.

With arrow firmly in hand behind her back she approached the two. “Oh here, let me introduce you two. Alexir, this is Maximillian’s sister Isabella. Isabella, this is my good friend Alexir,” she said and made sure that they were looking at each other. She gave Alexir a good jab and was happy to see an even more interested look come over her friend. She switched hands to give Isabella one….

“I’ll take that,” Michaellian said as he smoothly snatched it the arrow out of her hands.

Ria was stunned. She’d only managed to give Isabella a glancing blow. Barely touched her at all. She glared that meddlesome centaur. “Now look here, horse-boy! GIVE THAT BACK!”

“No,” he replied and studied the arrow. He looked at the blond goddess who was staring at him with furious eyes. “Lets see how this works. A little jab like this…” he stuck it towards the goddess, almost nicking her before she got out of the way. “You do move quick when the moods strikes. Let me guess, a little something you borrowed from Eros? You used it on Maximillian, didn’t you?” he accused, his mood dark.

“No, I didn’t need to. Now give it back! It doesn’t belong to you!” She yelled.

“It doesn’t belong to you either, blondie. I think I need to safeguard this for a bit. Tell Eros to see me if he wants it back,” he told her and started to stomp away.

“Oh no you don’t! GET BACK HERE!” Ria demanded and took off in hot pursuit as he galloped away.

All he saw was her, “So, Isabella. That’s a beautiful name,” Alexir told her as he gave her his best smile.

She was torn. He was kind of cute and had the sweetest smile, but… but what? There was something else she was supposed to do. Did she mentioned how warm and kind his eyes were?

“I’m sure she’s okay, Maximillian,” Lizzia reassured him as they were now both standing and looking around the meadow.

“I know that was her. And I could have sworn I heard shouting a moment ago. Didn’t you?” he asked. “There. It came from over there. I need to make sure Isabella’s okay.” He grabbed her hand. The moment he touched her, he felt tingling warmth fill his soul and gave her a smile. She was incredible. He couldn’t keep his hands off of her. That’s how it’d started, them holding hands, then sitting closer, holding her, and there was just no way he could not, not kiss her. So he did. He kissed her. And kissed her, and kissed her, and then…oh yeah, his sister. He tore his eyes off of her and looked over again at the grove of trees. “Come on,” he said as they headed over.

“So Isabella, have you ever just sat and watched the stars at night? They tell such interesting stories,” Alexir said as he took her hand in his began to lead her away. He knew just the spot to watch the sunset and the stars come out.

“I…” She could feel the pull of his charm. She knew instinctively that she could trust him. He was so sweet and gentle.

“ISABEL!” Maximillian shouted as they neared a grove of trees. He was certain that was his sister with that dark haired guy he’d seen earlier in the day with Lizzia’s friend. “Isabel, there you are. Are you okay?”

She looked at him as if he’d lost his mind. “Of course I’m okay.” Then it dawned on her why she was here, her brother. She looked at the little brunette. She seemed harmless enough, but then she’d just seen her brother and this girl…she shuddered at the memory. “Okay, little brother. You need to go home.”

“Huh? Why?” he asked in confusion. He thought his sister was in trouble, but she wasn’t. So why had he heard her shout?

Okay Isabella, think now. Why would Maximillian need to go home? Come on, it’s got to be good, she thought to herself. Then she remembered what today was and had to force herself not to smile. “Mother needs your help with Hector. He’s loose again and since he’s your goat, Mother wants you to round him up or she’s threatening to sacrifice him to Zeus if he gets into her flower garden again.” There, that should do it. Maximillian loves that stupid goat.

He scowled. Mother wouldn’t hurt Hector, but he was his goat and Mother took great pride in her immaculate garden. He’d be wishing he were in Hades for sure if Hector started munching on them. He reluctantly turned to his beautiful Lizzia. “I’m sorry. But she’s right. I have to go.” He suddenly thought of something and his mood brightened. “Come with me. I know Mother will want to meet you. Besides, if Hector has gotten into her garden, she won’t yell at me with you there. You wouldn’t want me to be yelled at, would you?” he asked as innocently as possible.

Meet his mother? Was he out of his mind? After just rolling around in a meadow with him? Looking like this? She’d need hours to get ready… and Ria. She’d need Ria to make sure her hair and makeup were perfect, and the proper dress. “I don’t think I’m properly dressed to meet your mother.”

He thought she was crazy. She was the most beautiful thing in the world. How could his mother think anything else? “Of course you are. Come on. Come with me and keep me out of trouble,” he told her and firmly grabbed her hand as they headed out toward his home.

“Oh this should be good. I almost wish I could be there for this,” Isabella said. “It’s Mother’s turn to host the ladies for afternoon tea and poetry readings.”

“Mmm, sorry, but you’ll have to miss it. I believe we have a prior engagement with a sunset and some stars,” Alexir reminded her.

~

Part 5

“Great. This is just great,” Ria grumbled as she carefully made her way down the jagged bluff toward the cave where she’d seen that annoying centaur go. “I swear I’m going to give that half- jackass a piece of my mind when I see him!” As she reached the cave that was just above the shoreline, she noticed the path coming down from the other side that led right to the mouth of the cave, a nice smooth, rock-free path. “It figured. I should have known those four fat hooves of his wouldn’t have made it down the way I came.” She looked in and noticed a surprisingly comfortable, though messy, looking cave, walked in, and was greeted with….

“Sssnnnnzzzzz…”

“Terrific. Just listen to that racket! He obviously has breathing problems. Maybe I should just break his leg so I’ll have to put him out of my misery,” she mumbled to herself in disgust. “How the Hades did he fall asleep so fast?” she wondered as she quietly and carefully entered the cave.

“Now where did he put that arrow?” she whispered as she looked around the cave. Broken pieces of pottery were scattered about on a dining table along with an empty carafe of wine. She noted that there were numerous bows and arrows, but not the one she was looking for, all stacked neatly to one side, and swords and daggers all laid out in a row near a sharpening wheel. What were those scrolls over there in that little nook? She slowly unrolled one while keeping an eye on Horseboy, who continued to snore loud enough to disturb the dead. She glanced at the partially unrolled document and began to read, “There once was a girl from Messina, who like to…” She abruptly rolled the document back up. “That is physically impossible for humans.” She glanced back at him, who was even more annoying in his sleep, “and centaurs,” she added. She spotted the arrow. He was laying on it after having carefully wrapping the tip in an animal skin. Damn him! “You think you’re so smart,” she said to herself with a smirk. We’ll just see about that, she thought.

~

He was dying. He had to be dying. There was just no way his stomach could be this bad without him dying. And for all the time for it to happen! A beautiful woman, a bottle of wine and…sitting on the commode dying. This was no way for a young, admittedly handsome, prince to spend an evening.

“Kyllian, you okay?” Tessina asked from the other side of the door.

“Yeah. Just great!” he gasped out. “Just… just start without me.”

Tessina glanced over at the large canopy bed with the bottle of wine sitting next to it. “It’s just not the same,” she declared with a sigh and went over to pour herself a glass. “Why does this always happen to me?” she whined.

~

Diane cast another sideways glance at the young girl her son had brought home. Who was she? Why was her son so obviously taken with her? Where was her family? Where had she come from? With a quiet sigh she turned her attention back to the young poet that was reading one of her newest works.

Maximillian was going to wring his sister’s neck when he got his hands on her. Hector wasn’t in the garden, but boy, was Mother ever happy to see him and Lizzia. He could tell that she had a ton of questions that she was going to be firing at him the second everyone left, if not sooner. Which brought him to another problem. He’d walked into a house full of old busybodies that were just dying to know something about Lizzia and his relationship with her. He wasn’t sure but he could swear quite a few of them were whispering something about how surprising it was to see him with a girl. By the Gods, could that old hag finish the poem already? Who cares about a poem about butterflies and daffodils anyhow? This sucked.

Lizzia held her head high and tried to remember that she was a goddess and had every right to be her amongst the city’s finest ladies. In fact, it was they that should be in awe of her. Of course they didn’t know that. Most knew nothing at all. At the most Maximillian’s mother knew her as a waitress at that Crashdown. She was a goddess, she kept telling herself. But why was she so nervous? Couldn’t that old hag just end it already?

Diane led the applause at the end of the poem. “Lovely, Athea, just lovely. Why don’t we have a touch more wine out in the garden?” She suggested as she rose to head towards the garden. She reached over and took Lizzia’s hand as she passed by. “I’m so happy that you and Maximillian could join us this late afternoon. I see so little of him as it is and now I imagine I’ll see even less with him entertaining such a pretty little thing as yourself. Where did you say you were from again?”

‘Please Zeus, if you are a fair and just god, strike me down now and put me out of my misery,’ Maximillian silently prayed as he reluctantly followed behind his mother.

~

Isabella sighed contentedly as she reclined against his strong chest and watched the sun sink from the sky. The rocky outcrop where he’d taken her overlooked the sparkling sea with nothing to block the view as dusk approached and the lights high up in the sky began to twinkle and blink at them. They were magically to watch. She could get lost in them. Just like she could get lost in those surprising strong arms that gently wrapped around her.

~

Early the next morning Maximillian gloomily set up the target area on the beach. He heard someone call out his name and waved as his childhood friend approached with his bow slung over his shoulder. “Hey Kyllian.”

“Maximillian,” he answered in between bites of breakfast. He grimaced as his stomach rumbled.

Maximillian eyed the prune and saw his friend grimace. “Careful how many of those eat at a time.”

“Yeah, well, that’s why I’m eating them. After the night I had…” He noticed his friend was looking none to chipper himself. “What’s your excuse this morning?”

“Ah, nothin’,” Maximillian said.

“Mmm, yeah. Girl trouble. I can see it written all over your face.” Kyllian surmised.

“Why do mothers have to interfere? Do they have to know everything?” Maximillian bemoaned. The only time alone with Lizzia was when he walked her back to the Crashdown. Well, at least he did get to take his time and take the long way around.

“Yeah, well, at least you didn’t get to spend the night dying while a beautiful little nymph-like blond was ready, willing, and waiting…and waiting…and waiting…” Kyllian held up another prune. “I don’t intend on that happening again tonight.” And he popped it in his mouth.

Maximillian chuckled. “Well, still, take it easy on those. You don’t want to keep her waiting for another reason tonight.”

Kyllian laughed. “Naw, speaking of waiting, where the Hades is he?”

Maximillian scanned the rocky area that bordered the centaur’s cave. “I think I see him coming.” They watched him approach with growing concern.

“He doesn’t look happy,” Kyllian observed.

“No, he doesn’t,” Maximillian agreed.

“An unhappy centaur is not a good thing,” Kyllian pointed out.

“True, but he’s seen us. Too late to run now,” Maximillian reasoned.

Michaellian stomped into view and growled at them.

Snort. Kyllian busted up laughing right on the spot.

“Ummm…” Maximillian looked again. “Uh…your tail…it’s…” Snort. “It’s pink…with…with matching ribbon.” He lost it and joined Kyllian who was bent over with laughter and holding his sides as tears ran.

Michaellian swished his pink with pink ribbon tail widely in anger.

Maximillian tried his best he could to get himself under control. Snort. But it wasn’t easy. Harder still, get Kyllian under control. “Kyllian.” He slapped his arm to get his attention. “Kyllian, the only thing worse than an unhappy centaur is a pissed one….” Snort. “With a pink tail.” Snort. He couldn’t help it as he lost it again.

Michaellian growled louder and snorted angrily as he came nearer. He was going to rip that annoying little blond goddess apart with his bare hands when he got a hold of her. “Something you find funny?” He challenged. Nostrils flaring.

Kyllian help Maximillian stand upright. They both bit their lips until they tasted blood to stop from busting up again and shook their heads no.

“Good,” he snarled. “Get your bows out.” He turned and stomped off to the side.

Bows. Pink. Tail. Swishing widely. They lost it again.

I know I've said this before, but I want to say it again....I just love the banner LTF did for this story for me. I understand it was a tough one to do, so I doubly appreciate it!

Part 6

Maximillian sniffed the air and gave his friend a dirty look.

“What? Kyllian asked.

“Could you maybe stay downwind of me?” Maimillian asked.

“Sorry. I told you I was having stomach problems,” Kyllian reminded him.

“Yeah, and I told you not eat all of those prunes,” Maximillian shot back and then scrunched his nose in disgust again. “Ah man, could you not do that!”

“Man, what a relief,” he commented as he cut one again. “That’s better.”

“Are you done?” Maximillian bit out as he took a few more steps away from his ‘friend.’

“Think so. So what do you think happened to Micheallian’s tail?” Kyle was curious.

Maximillian grinned at the memory. That was some tail. “Not sure. I guess someone must have snuck up on him in his sleep and did it.”

Kyllian snorted. “Right. Easiest thing in the world to do, sneak up on a battle ready centaur and dye his tail pink with pink ribbon. Happens all the time.”

Maximillian snorted this time. “Okay, what’s your guess?”

“What if he’s becoming…you know, a bit…okay, look, the Spartans are great warriors and well, they’ve got some… peculiar habits, so what if… what if he’s turning gay on us?” Kyllian final spit out.

Maximillian laughed. “Turning gay? How do you turn gay? Can a centaur be gay?” He thought about it, he supposed one could, but Michaellian? “Naw, no way.”

Kyllian looked at his friend. There had been rumors for years but he hadn’t paid too much attention to them. Maximillian was his friend and he had often studied and practiced with him and Michaellian and had never seen anything…gay. But still, those rumors had persisted. And now faced with a possible outing which Maximillian seemed to be dismissing awfully quickly. Perhaps he doth protest too much? “Yeah, well. I still don’t see how anyone could sneak up on him and do that.”

Maximillian shrugged. “If he got drunk maybe?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Kyllian decided to concede. “By the way, where was he in such a hurry to be off to after practice?”

“Not sure, said something about finding a blonde that was as stubborn as a mule. Maybe he had a date?” Maximillian wasn’t sure and didn’t really want to know.

~

“Okay Blondie. I know you’re skulking around here somewhere. Show yourself!” he commanded the grove of trees. Nothing. “What’s the matter, don’t tell me you’re afraid of a little old centaur, are you?”

Ria snorted as she appeared behind. “Don’t flatter yourself, Horseboy.” She made a point of looking his tail over. “Your bow’s drooping. Want me to fix it for you?”

He spun around to face her. “NO!” he bellowed.

“Temper, temper, Horseboy,” Ria warned as she wagged her finger at him.

Hooves stomped, nostrils flared and his pink tail swished wildly as he forced himself to keep his arms crossed in front of him and not around her throat. “Look Blondie, fix my tail, NOW!” he demanded.

Ria casually checked her nails. The pink polish on one was chipped a little so she decided to change the color on all of them. She waved one hand over the other and then casually blew on them to dry the polish. She smiled and held them out in front of her to admire the work. “You’re right. Pink doesn’t work. Let’s try this.” She waved her hands again and smiled. “There, that’s better. Well, I must be off. See ya around Horseboy.” She waved her lavender polished nails at him as she left.

Michaellian cringed as he looked back. “ARRRRRGH!” he shouted in anger at the sky. Sure enough, he had a lavender colored tail with bow and ribbon to match.

~

“So Alexir, what is that you do for a living?” Isabella asked as they strolled along the shoreline. They’d had a wonderful evening underneath the stars and then at dawn, an incredible breakfast of eggs and oysters. But she didn’t know a lot about him, other than he knew everything about the stars above them.

Alexir shrugged. “A little of this, a little of that. I’m pretty handy at fixing things,” he hedged.

“Oh,” she wasn’t sure what to think of that. “So like what? What can you fix?”

Alexir took her in his arms and behind her back a dried up old rose bush burst forth in full bloom. “Everything,” he said before kissing her breathlessly. When they finally came up for air, his hand reached out and snagged a perfect rose blossom to surprise her. “For you my lady.”

“Oh Alexir, it’s…it’s beautiful,” she proclaimed as she smelt the sweet fragrance of the rose and stared into his charming eyes.

“Yoohoo, Alexir,” Ria called out from a distance. She’d spotted them sometime ago but thought she’d give Alexir a bit more time with the buxom blond sister, but time was a wasting.

Alexir reluctantly tore his eyes off his beautiful enchantress and turned to where he’d heard his friend calling, and sighed. It figured, just when things were getting interesting. “I’m afraid there’s something that needs my fixing,” he stated as he watched Ria approach.

“Alexir, darling, there you are,” Ria said as she snatched Alexir’s arm away from the tall blond. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

“Um, Ria, Isabella and I are in the middle of something. Can’t this wait?” Alexir asked as his arm was being wrestled between two blonds. Not a bad place to be actually, if you were careful.

Ria won the contest and pulled Alexir a few steps away. “You know that little item that I borrowed that cast a certain spell when it pricked someone…well, Horseboy stole it,” she whispered.

“Oh, that’s not good,” Alexir commented.

“No kidding. Now, I need your help in getting it back,” she continued.

“Why can’t you just ask for it back?” Alexir wanted to know. “He couldn’t possibly know what it was.”

Ria opened her mouth then closed it when she recalled just whom Horseboy had seen her prick with it. “Who knows what that half jackass was thinking?” She shuddered at the idea of knowing what ideas might be lurking there. “Besides, I don’t think he likes me.”

“Gee, I can’t imagine why,” Alexir commented dryly. He sighed and then walked over to Isabella. “My darling, I’m afraid that my friend really does need my help. Can you find you’re way back or do you need me to escort you?” he gently asked his own special blond goddess and placed a delicate kiss on her forehead.

“I think I’m going to barf,” Ria commented to herself as she listened to their goodbyes.

“I hope she doesn’t get lost. Maybe I should follow her to make sure she gets home safely?” Alexir pondered as he watched her leave.

“I could turn her into a bloodhound if you’d like,” Ria offered.

Alexir shot Ria a dirty look.

“What? It was just a suggestion so she wouldn’t get lost,” she offered defensively.

“Right. So tell me why this centaur stole the arrow and what did you do to him to piss him off?” Alexir wanted to know.

“What makes you think I did anything to him? He’s just naturally a jackass…er, at least a half of one,” Ria defend as she admired her nail color and wondered what a darker lavender or purple would look like. She waved her hand and smiled. Not bad, not bad. Pretty shade.

~

“So what are you doing tonight?” Maximillian asked as he sipped his wine at the Crashdown.

Lizzia was sitting next to him, also enjoying some wine, since she was officially ‘off duty’ or so she told Maximillian. “Nothing much. Maybe washing my hair.”

Washing her hair? Just washing her hair? Why did that thought make his mind go in several different directions and all of them erotic? “Oh,” he squeaked out. “So… ahem.” He cleared his throat. “So, where do you do this…hair washing?”

Lizzia’s smile was part demure and part devil. “I like fresh spring water to wash with, that little pond at the edge of the woods looked pretty enticing,” she informed him.

“Right.” His voice cracked. He took another sip of wine. “Right, so that pond…um, about…about what time?”

Lizzia smiled at his sweet, interested reaction. “Dusk,” she purred.

“Yeah,” Maximillian smiled back. Dusk. At dusk he would be washing hair, maybe even his own if he got around to it.

~

Michaellian broke off a small branch to the proper length and then reached back to try and snag the bow. Yeah, the little blond irritant fixed his bow all right. She made it as big and gaudy as possible and put it just out of his reach on his tail. Damn her! He poked it with the stick, trying to untie it. Not quite there. He tried moving his body around a little bit more to get a better position. Maybe a little more. Just a little more, and…

She laughed hysterically. “That has got the be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. A centaur prancing around in a circle poking at a… a purple bow on his tail!” Tessina gasped out between gales of laughter.

“I do not prance!” he spat out angrily and then grimaced. Man, what the Hades had he eaten? His stomach suddenly felt like it was going to explode.

“Okay, whatever you say,” Tessina laughed.

Oh man, was his stomach ever acting up or what? He growled in discomfort.

“So, Centaur, it looks like you’ve been running around with an interesting crowd,” Tessina asked she neared.

“Yeah, what’s it to ya?” he bit out. Damn it was hard being tough with a bow on your purple tail.

“No, the question is, what’s it to you?” Tessina asked, turning serious.

“What do you mean?” Michaellian asked as all his caution bells rang.

“Nice tail. Obviously you’ve been playing with the wrong people. Perhaps it’s time to make some new friends,” she hinted seductively.

Michaellian’s eyes narrowed. “And why would I do that?”

Tessina sighed. “Well, for one, you wouldn’t have a purple tail,” she reminded him. “Nice bow, by the way,” she added for emphasis.

“I see. And in return, you get what?” He asked briskly.

“A mutual exchange of information,” Tessina offered. “And I’ll fix your tail.”

“Hmmm, what information?” He asked, playing along.

“Like, who’s your charge and why are a couple of gods interested him, not to mention yourself? What makes him so special?” she asked.

His stomach grumbled in protest to her nearness and it finally dawned on him why. This must be Hera’s lapdog, Tessina. He grunted as he felt the gas building. “You know Tessina. I’m really not in the market for any more blonds in my life at the moment. The ones I got already are annoying enough, no sense adding to it.” And with that, he let one rip that any horse would be proud of.

She cinched her nose in disgust. “Uh, gross! You are the most…most despicable thing I’ve ever seen!” she proclaimed as she stepped away.

“Hey, what can I say, you bring out the best in me,” he retorted as he walked away. He heard her shout of frustration as he left the small glade. But he was troubled. He now had four gods running around inquiring after his charge, one with direct links to Hera. This cannot be good.