Roswell Fanatics

<b> Title: Sousoundé
Author: Metisse
Rating: MATURE
Category: AU/XO M/L
Disclaimer: The WB owns Roswell, the characters, and situations. ShowTime owns Dead Like Me. Metisse, the band, owns the name Sousoundé. No infringement intended. Nothing is mine.
Summary: Partially into Off the Menu. Brody has kidnapped Max, Tess, Liz, Sean, Maria and Amy; he hasn’t shot Sean, that never happened. Alex hasn’t died, Max doesn’t quite remember his life with Tess, and Liz hasn’t quite fallen for Sean. Instead a turn of events leads to a whole new life for Liz Parker, one she never dreamed of.
</b>

<I> April 21. Journal entry one. I'm Liz Parker and five days ago I died. After that, things got really weird.... </I>

“Excuse me.” Liz whirled around and her breath whooshed out of her at the sound of the girl’s voice. She faced the girl and smiled. It was just some teenager, not an alien or someone out to destroy her life anymore than it already had been. “Do you know the time?”

Balancing the box of food in one hand, Liz glanced down at her watch. “Just past three.”

“Cool, thanks.” Liz smiled in return and started on her way toward the UFO Center. “By the way, is Liz short for Elizabeth?” Turning back toward the girl, Liz merely nodded. “It’s a pretty name… what’s your last name?”

“Excuse me?” Liz asked, perplexed as to why the girl even wanted to know. Maybe she had been wrong, maybe this girl was some sort of alien enemy.

“Your last name… does it start with a P?” Liz stared at the girl, who couldn’t be any older than herself, in astonishment.

“Uh…yeah, Parker.”

“I’m George… short for Georgia,” George said as she smiled back. It hurt her to know what she had to do, especially when she stared into those big, doe brown eyes. It reminded her of her first time. A pang of guilt ran through her, especially when she saw the sadness in Liz’s eyes.

One year ago this all should have been over, but somehow things had gotten mixed up and Liz was left among the living. George and the others had watched as Liz’s life has rotted before their very eyes. Everything had gone to shit, just as George had known it would.

“Well, I guess you better get going, don’t want to be late…” And with that, George waved and watched as Liz turned and moved on.

So consumed in her thoughts, Liz never felt George’s hand slide over her hair and down her back, taking something from her that could never be returned.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“So, these memories that I have are real?”

With the gun still resting in his hand, Brody stared quizzically at Max as thoughts swirled through his mind. It was completely true and he knew it, but now Max was admitting the truth was indeed real. That changed everything; that made Brody see that he was no longer going crazy, rather seeing the light.

He watched the slight nod of Max’s head and sighed in relief, though he waited for verbal affirmation.

Keeping his distance, Max nodded in agreement. “Yes, all of them.” It was hard to admit to something that was still so new to Max. And he really didn’t want to agree because saying it aloud made it real.

“But if I’m Larek, an alien, and you’re Zan, also an alien, w-what are we doing here?” Brody asked brokenly. He kept one eye on the other hostages and the other on Max, making sure that no one tried to make a move. What Max told him didn’t make complete sense. But then, at least he wasn’t crazy.

“Surviving. Biding our time until we return,” Max answered softly. He fought to forget what he was saying, but the words came out naturally from his mouth. And for that reason he hated himself. Since when did he want to return home?

“So we’re going back to our home planet, someday?” Brody queried. He looked so much like a lost child waiting for his parents to come and pick him up. Only this time around, his parents were taking him much farther away.

“Yes. You, Me, Tess.” This was even harder for Max to admit, especially with Liz so close by. He glanced in her direction and noted to hurt look in her eyes upon the mention of returning home, with Tess no less.

“And the others?” His eyes moved wildly about, taking in everything around him. The mother and daughter and cousin were standing awkwardly in the corner, the waitress was huddling by the stairs, and the two aliens were standing before him, their eyes meeting his own.

“All of us,” Max said in accordance. He wasn’t about to disagree with a man whom held a gun in his hands.

“It’s incredible.” The light in his eyes seemed to shine brighter with each passing second as the thought of returning home fully encompassed his mind. He let his guard drop slightly as both his eyes moved to stare at Max and Tess.

“Now I think it’s time you put down the gun,” Max advised gently. He started to move towards Brody, slowly, taking one step at a time and never making any sudden moves. When he noted that Brody didn’t seem to be resisting, Max reached out for the gun.

“Yeah. Yeah,” Brody agreed, but suddenly stopped when a glint caught his eyes. The gun flew up towards the staircase where the waitress stood. “What’s that? What have- What’s that?! She’s wearing a camera! I’m going to kill you!” And before anyone could act Brody stood before Liz, the gun pressed tightly against her temple.

Grabbing her roughly, Brody quickly twirled her around and molded her body against his own, all while keeping the gun tightly pressed to her temple. His eyes were wild and crazed, and anyone who looked at him knew that one false move would lead to Liz being shot.

“Brody… Brody, calm down. Everything’s ok!” Max cried in a panic. He was trying to remain calm and collected, but seeing a gun so close to Liz made his heart collapse. Max knew that if he moved too quickly or did anything to piss Brody off that Liz would end up shot, and most likely dead.

“No, everything is pretty far from ok,” Brody yelled in aggravation. He jabbed the gun against Liz’s forehead causing a tiny gash to appear. Blood began to dribble down the side of her face as tears slowly trickled down her cheeks. And as they met, they collided together and fell idly onto her pristine uniform. “What do you think I am? An idiot? You’ll be lucky if anyone comes out of here alive, ever!”

But before Max could calm Brody down enough, Sean made his move. He had been watching the whole time and couldn’t stand by, idly watching as the one girl he had ever liked was held at gunpoint. No, he was man enough to know that this was the time to make his move. Max had diverted Brody’s attention, or so Sean had believed.

With a knife in his hand, Sean crept toward Brody, ready to attack and free Liz, as well as everyone else from this crazy man’s grasp. But it didn’t work. As soon as Max caught sight of Sean moving, his eyes widened in fear, and Brody quickly followed his line of sight.

“Sean, no!” Max cried as he too moved toward Brody, and more importantly, Liz.

The sound of the gun shot reverberated around the tiny building and it shocked everyone. Amy pushed Maria to the floor and used her body as a shield for the two of them. Tess hit the floor as well, completely unsure of what to do.

But it was Sean and Max who weathered the worst of all. Both staggered backwards as they watched Liz’s body fall limply to the floor. A gaping wound at her temple gushed blood. Her eyes, still open, stared blankly at the wall in front of her. Her mouth, just partially open, instantly began leaking blood. And her chest took bone-crushing breaths; each one shorter than the last.

“Liz!” The two men cried out in unison. Their faces showed their shock and broken hearts. Both rushed toward her, uncaring of the danger Brody might posses toward them.

But Brody merely stood before them, the gun resting limply in his hands as he stared down at the tiny wisp of a girl lying in front of him. Nothing made sense. Everything was fuzzy.

Why were all these people here?

Why was Liz Parker lying on the floor with a gunshot wound?

Why was he holding a smoking gun?

Had he shot her?

Brody watched as Max and Sean fought to hold Liz in their arms, until finally they both came together, holding her tightly in between the two of them. The gun fell from his fingers and clanked loudly to the floor.

But only one thought remained in Brody’s mind: Jesus, what had he done?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Where do you think you’re going?” Sean asked as people moved in and out of the UFO Center hurriedly. His eyes stared sadly at the lost girl before him. She looked so scared and alone, but then, anyone who had just died usually looked that way.

Liz whirled around and gazed back at the man before her. There was something familiar about him, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. He was devilishly handsome and his eyes were mesmerizing.

“What’s going on?” Liz finally asked. She watched as EMT’s, firemen and police had flooded the Center only to leave just as quickly, completely ignoring her the entire time. But before Sean answered, Liz found out the answer on her own. The sight of a body lying on the ground piqued her curiosity and before Sean could stop her, Liz found herself staring at her dead body.

“You’re dead…” Sean whispered from behind her. He steadied her as she began to sway. For the first time ever he actually felt remorse about having to take someone’s soul. In the time that he had known Liz, at least when she was human, he had found her to be absolutely amazing.

Turning to face the man, Liz glared at him, unsure of how to take his comment. “What?”

“You’re dea…”

“No, that’s not possible!” Liz exclaimed, cutting Sean off before he could finish.

“Yes, it is.” Taking a little yellow post-it from his pocket, Sean handed it Liz. “See, you had an appointment; George took your soul and now you’re dead.”

“An appointment?” Liz glanced down at the yellow piece of paper and grimaced as she saw the words ‘L. Parker’ followed by ‘ETD: 3:18 pm’ on the lower half.

“Everyone has an appointment.”

Liz merely shook her head, pretending she understood. But in reality she was beyond confused. “And you are?”

“Oh, you know me, when you were alive, but I look a little different now.” He smiled again and took the post-it from her fingers. “Sean… Sean DeLuca.” He saw the recognition immediately in her eyes.

“Sean?” Liz gasped. It wasn’t possible. The Sean DeLuca she knew wasn’t this cute. And then it hit her. “But…”

“I’m undead… not quite dead, but not alive.”

“But how?”

“Well, that’s a little more complicated.”

“Yo… you’re death?”

“No—well, not really.” Sean sighed in frustration. But when he saw Liz start to move away from him, he acted quickly and fought to find some way to explain this all to her. This wasn’t going as well as he had hoped. “I'm not all that. I'm just a cog... I sort of work for death.”

“Oh… right,” Liz drawled, not believing a word he was saying. “So why don’t you look like Sean?”

“The Sean you knew and saw was nothing but an altered image of my real self; what you see now is the real ‘Sean.’” Sean knew it was hard to explain, but once Liz saw for herself he knew she would understand.

“How come no can see me… or you?”

“Like I said, you’re sort of in a transitional phase.” Noticing her confusion, Sean gave Liz a pat on the back and a big smile. “Don’t worry, everything will make a lot more sense later.”

<b> Chapter 2 </b>

Nancy Parker strolled through the hallway of her apartment, starring at the various pictures and newspaper clippings of her daughter. There was so much left behind, so much unfinished business. And with that thought, the tears came. Nancy tried to bat her eyes and keep the tears away, but they refused to stay at bay. Her mascara coursed down her cheeks, leavings a trail much like the trail of blood her daughter had left on the UFO Center’s floor.

Standing outside her daughter’s room, Nancy hesitated as she considered whether she should go inside or not. The door was closed and neither she nor her husband had entered the room since Liz’s death.

Finally deciding to enter, Nancy slowly reached out and turned the handle. The scent of her daughter wafted past her and already Nancy had to blink back a few tears as her heart lurched forward and almost stopped.

Clothes were strewn about on the neatly made bed and pictures were neatly framed and placed on various shelves and desks, all of them images of Maria, Kyle, Alex and Max, Nancy, Jeff, and Grandma Claudia. A sweatshirt rested on the back of one chair, a pair of jeans lay forever on the floor, one sneaker remained half-way hidden under the bed while the mate was tossed inside the open closet. One of Liz’s favorite jackets hung in the closet and Nancy had to bit her lip to stop herself from sobbing in despair.

Books and posters decorated the room, some of which had been made Liz had still been a child. Everything was detail oriented and perfect, just as Liz had been.

But still, Nancy lingered outside the door, unsure if she could make herself walk inside after so many little time had passed. However, after composing herself and getting her feet to work, Nancy forced her body to move inside Liz’s room.

Immediately Nancy was drawn to the bed.

There was an indent in the pillow where Nancy knew Liz , Alex and Maria had slept only hours before they had gone to the UFO Center to pick up one thing or another. Only Liz never returned. Gingerly, Nancy ran the tips of her fingers over her daughter’s pillow as she closed her eyes, once again fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over.

But she didn’t want to ruin anything, so Nancy tried not to press to hard.

Moving onward, Nancy stopped as she spotted the kite Jeff and Liz had made. They, including Maria, Alex and Nancy, had gone out on a picnic one Sunday after they had found out Liz had gotten her first 4.0 in school. Before the picnic Jeff and Liz had made a kite so as to impress everyone.

Picking the kite up with great care, Nancy almost doubled over as images of their time at the park formed in her mind. Her heart ached and she could feel the tears trickling down her cheeks now. Everything hurt so badly.

Moving over towards her daughter’s desk, Nancy carefully sat down, making sure not to hit or move the sweatshirt on the backing of the chair. As she stared down at the desk, her eye caught on a stack of papers. Picking them up, she let her eyes scan over the words.

<I> We would like to congratulate you on your acceptance to Harvard… </I>

<I> Welcome to the Harvard molecular biology program… </I>

<I> Congratulations on your acceptance to Harvard… </I>

Slowly the papers floated free from Nancy’s nimble fingers as she found herself openly crying over the loss of her daughter. She covered her mouth with her frail hands and fought to remain somewhat sane. But nothing made sense anymore, and everything hurt so badly.

The sound of her sobs echoed in Liz’s tiny room. Her mind and heart were dead and now she was merely waiting for her body to follow suit.

Where had everything gone so wrong?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“But I don’t want to be dead,” Liz complained as she, Sean and Betty mulled around the funeral parlor. Out of the corner of her eye she saw her parents standing in front of her casket speaking with some old friends.

Maria, Alex, and Kyle stood off to the side, ignoring the pod squad. According to Betty there was some sort of riff between the humans and aliens, something about the aliens being the cause of Liz’s death. And while Liz wasn’t sure she trusted Betty, she did have to admit that Betty did seem like a nice person, or as nice as someone could be for being undead.

Betty was also extremely pretty; so pretty Liz couldn’t help but wonder if Betty and Sean were a couple. It would only make sense with their good looks and chemistry.

“You don’t have much of a choice,” Betty said in exasperation. She hated working with newbies, they always complained.

Liz huffed in frustration and turned to Sean for some help. But when he ignored her, Liz persisted. “Can’t you take someone else?”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Sean said as seriously as possible, and with Liz’s smile it looked as though he had succeeded.

“Really?”

“No!” Betty snapped before continuing her perusal of her nails. Three were chipped due to her last soul snatching and she couldn’t help but wonder why she always got stuck with the three hundred pounders.

Again, Liz sighed and went back to her usual moping.

Focusing on her surroundings, Liz caught bits and pieces of people’s conversations. Some made her smile, others made her cry, and still others made her laugh. She tried to hear what Kyle, Maria and Alex were saying, but they were talking too quietly, and Liz wasn’t too sure about her ability to just stand in the middle without being noticed.

But she heard Max, Isabel, Tess and Michael’s conversations. They were mad; mad at Brody, mad at the humans, mad at the world for putting so much on their backs. At that, Liz nearly cried out in anger. How dare they be mad at something they caused, albeit in an offhand way. Sure they weren’t the ones to pull the trigger, but they were a catalyst.

Liz also now knew that Sean had had nothing to do with Brody shooting her. He would have done so with or without Sean being there. Luckily George had grabbed her soul before hand. Liz was thankful for that, otherwise she would have been disfigured and ugly for the remainder of her post-death life, and according to Betty, that was a very bad thing!

“So, what happens next?” Liz asked a moment later. She still hadn’t gotten an answer about this one and it was the only real questions he had left.

“Well, for right now we wait until your body rests,” Sean answered.

“Um, hello, I’m dead… how much more rest does my body need?” Liz queried in aggravation.

“A bullet hit you. Do you know how fast a bullet travels?” Betty reminded Liz quietly. “Your body needs to rest.”

“So then what?” Liz queried. “Do I move on to Heaven, or whatever?”

“Nope,” Sean sighed. “There are no pearly white gates or angels or sitting on your ass on a cloud in your future.”

“You’re sending me to Hell?” Liz asked in astonishment. What could she have possibly done to end up in Hell?

This time it was Betty who snorted in laughter. “Honey, you aren’t that interesting.”

Liz glared at Betty and grunted in response. Who did Betty think she was?

“So what’s going to happen to me?”

“You, my dear, are going to join the ranks and become what is known as a modern day grim reaper,” Sean replied nonchalantly, as though it were a normal thing.

“Wha… no! I can’t… I mean, no!” Liz stuttered, unable to find the correct words. “God, what did I do wrong to deserve this?”

This caught Sean’s attention immediately. He wrapped his arm around Liz’s shoulders and drew her into him for a hug. “You didn’t do anything wrong… you were George’s last soul… you filled her quota, so you have to take her place, that’s all.”

“So I die and this is what I get in return?” Liz asked as she glanced at her friends. Would one of them be next? Would she have to take one of their souls?

Betty glanced at Liz and smiled genuinely. “No, silly! It’s a destiny thing.” Liz knew that word all too well and she didn’t like it one bit. “Think of it this way, this is merely a way to figure out life’s little lessons that you didn’t quite catch on to when you were alive. And once you reach your quota, then you move on!”

“But what if I don’t want to take people’s souls?” Liz finally asked. The thought irked her beyond reason. Just the thought made a chill go up her spine.

“Now that… that you don’t have much choice over,” Sean replied sadly.

<b> Chapter 3 </b>

Sitting atop the UFO Center, Liz, Mason, Betty and Sean stared out at the great expanse of Roswell as the sun set before them. Liz did have to admit that this part was pretty awesome. It wasn’t everyday that one could sit on top of the highest building in Roswell and watch the sun set.

“This reminds me of…”

“Shut up,” Sean cut Mason off before he could finish. “We don’t need to hear about yet another drug trip.”

Liz stared at Sean in disgust. “You know, some of us haven’t heard about Mason’s… Mason’s…”

“And you don’t want to hear about them, sweetie,” Betty clarified. She gave Liz a quick smile and a reassuring look before returning her attention to her dress. “Do you think this is a good color for me? I always liked the way I looked in Versace, it’s just hard to find anyone is Roswell who has anything by him.”

Again, Liz stared at her fellow reapers, unsure of how to react; they sure were a quirky bunch. Of everyone, Liz liked Mason the most. Despite his drugged up ways, he really was sweet. And, for the first time, Liz finally understood Maria’s obsession with men who had accents; Mason’s English accent always made Liz swoon, luckily his looks quickly made her come to reason.

Betty was sweet, and pretty, and perfect, and very happy with being a reaper, or so Liz could tell thus far. It was like the world of the dead was Betty’s shopping center. It creeped Liz out a little, but she figured that one had to do something to be able deal with taking people’s souls for a living.

As for Sean, Liz found him to be much like his old self, only cuter. Then there was Roxy, who was this bad assed meter maid; she didn’t take any shit from anyone. And while Liz liked Roxy, she wasn’t sure how much Roxy liked her.

And finally, there was Rube, who was like the ringleader, or as Sean described him, upper management. Rube was the one who handed out the post-it’s, which had the appointments. So far he seemed like an okay person, but Liz hadn’t spent a lot of time with him yet.

“So, I’m technically not dead, right?” Liz asked a few moments later, once quiet had taken over the group.

“Your not alive, but, no, you’re not dead-dead,” Sean explained. He had gone over this time after time with Liz in hopes that she would understand. Now he was starting to wonder how smart she was. “You’re undead.”

At Sean’s explanation Liz found herself staring longingly at the Crashdown. She could see her parents mulling about helping the patrons of the restaurant. There was a sadness in their movements; it was like a piece of them had died with Liz.

“So that means I could visit…”

“No!” Betty blurted out, effectively cutting Liz off. “Honey, once you die you have to cut all contacts with the people you once knew.”

“I just want to leave my friends and family a note to let them know I’m okay…” Liz explained as best she could. Over the last few days she had gone and visited Maria, Alex, Kyle and her parents and it tore her up inside to see them so sad.

Sean looked at her as though she were crazy. “That is out of the question.”

“But, why? Can’t you just say it’s from Jesus or something? You don’t have to sign it from me… you could just say that I’m okay,” Liz continued. She really wanted to help her friends and family as much as possible through this rough time.

“From Jesus?” Mason laughed. He had never heard anything like that before. “Right, like Jesus would write someone a note lettin’em know their loved one is ‘Okay!’”

“Well, can’t you?” Liz peered at Sean, her eyes pleading with his. And as he gazed her, Sean felt something break inside of him.

“Fine… Jesus will leave your friends and family a note.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Walking down the street on a sunny afternoon, Liz glanced about, wondering what people thought of her. Was there some sort of sign on her stating she was a grim reaper? Did people somehow know? Could they even tell?

As if reading her mind, Mason suddenly stopped before a television shop and pointed.

“This is what we look like to the living.”

Liz stared at the picture before her, unsure of how to react. The person staring back at her no longer resembled the Liz Parker she once knew. Instead, before her, was a girl who was old beyond her years. Her hair was just as long, but a little stringy and not as lustrous. Her eyes were dull and devoid of life. Her face was nondescript. All in all she looked normal, but unmemorable.

“Who decides what we look like?”

Mason glanced at Liz and smiled. He liked her. She was sweet and extremely pretty. Too bad Rube had put her off limits; he said she had gone through enough and wasn’t sure she could take much more heartache. It pained Mason to know someone had hurt her so badly. Maybe someday all her pain would dissipate and she could finally be happy.

Maybe one day.

“I’m not sure,” Mason answered honestly, sincerely. He could tell she didn’t like her new outer image. “You’re still beautiful.”

Liz ignored Mason’s comment, opting instead to continue her perusal of her new image. So engrossed, Liz didn’t even notice the world beyond her, but Mason did.

Mason watched as Liz’s old friends walked toward them: Max and Tess, or so he believed them to be. Not human, but not dead. Even Rube didn’t know what Max, Michael, Isabel and Tess were. Hell, Rube wasn’t quite sure what Liz was. A majority of her was human, but something small inside of her was different. It was like she had been changed because a part of her was now like the other four.

For a while Mason speculated that the four were aliens, but Roxy and Betty had long ago put that thought to rest. Like aliens really lived among people. But then, grim reapers did, so why couldn’t aliens do so as well?

Sure that Liz was still inside her own mind, Mason listened intently to the two coming toward them.

“I’m just saying, maybe we should go together.” It was the blonde talking. Her curls bounced slightly with each step she took, along with her ample bosom. Mason laughed at this thought; he could only imagine what she would look like once she died and how happy Liz would be once she saw her.

The boy paused and remained quiet for a moment before finally speaking. “I don’t even know if I’m going… I always thought I’d go with Liz…” Again the boy paused and thought for a moment before continuing. “It just doesn’t feel right…” he said quietly.

“You can’t possibly still blame yourself for Liz’s death.”

“But I do,” the boy insisted softly.

“But nothing. Brody was the one who shot her and Sean was the one to initiate everything.” The blonde smiled, acting as though her words actually proved a point. This made Mason laugh. How could Liz surround herself with such people? “See, you don’t fit into the equation at any point of time.”

“I know, its just… just… weird,” Max finally said. “Liz and I, I mean I was supposed to… err, Liz and I were going to….”

“You and Liz were going to go to the Prom together,” Tess finished for him.

“Yeah.”

“So?” Tess pursed her lips and awaited his response. When he didn’t answer she sighed in frustration. “Max, listen, Liz is dead. You have to accept that and move on.”

“You mean, move on with you.” He stared at her, waiting for her to tell him the truth.

“Well, we are…”

“Fine Tess, whatever,” Max finally gave in. He was tired and wasn’t sure that he could stand much more. Maybe if he just gave in to Tess than life would become simple and he could drudge through it waiting until he joined Liz, where ever she was.

Mason returned his attention to Liz as Max and Tess meandered off. She hadn’t caught a single word of their conversation, but Mason wasn’t surprised. Only six days ago she had died. But as he turned back to watch Tess and Max cotninue down the street, he couldn't squash the feeling that something was off; it was like he was hearing one thing from Tess but seeing something completely different.

“Come on, time to find you a place of your own,” Mason insisted, giving Liz a tug on her arm.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“You just watch; don’t join in or try to change anything… just watch and see how things play out,” Betty explained as she and Liz sat in the small office.

“And then…”

“And then pop the soul before the death happens, otherwise they’re stuck with their body however it looks after death.”

“What does that mean?” Liz asked, unsure of what Betty was getting at.

“Well, remember how your body looked after you were shot. Now imagine having to live with that sort of disfigurement for the rest of your undead life.”

“But I thought most people moved on… so why does it matter?” Liz queried, curious as to why a grim reaper would take so much care as to ensure a person “looked good” in their afterlife.

“Because they would still have to look like that,” Betty answered. “How would you like to have to live the rest of your life with some huge gun shot in your head; talk about reason for being made fun of.”

Liz couldn’t help but laugh at Betty’s scrunched up face and even more scrunched up reasoning. Oh well, Liz reasoned, at least she was doing a semi-good deed before reaping someone’s life. Today was her first.

When Rube had handed her the little yellow Post-It note, Liz had trembled and tried to give it back, insisting she wasn’t ready. Sure she had gone on numerous reapings with Betty and Mason and the others, but doing one herself was completely different. How could anyone expect her take someone’s life?

<I> C. I. Diggs </I>

Liz laughed at the ridiculous name. Mason had been right in one aspect, names were funny when you only had time on your hands. He had given her some of his more obscure names, such as B. N. Dober, I. M. Nurdy, and other such classics. At first Liz had merely laughed at his musings, but as she sat, readying herself to take C. I. Diggs soul, she couldn’t help but try and find some humor in her current situation. Because humor was her only out at this point.

“Ok, well I think you’re all set, so I’ll see you later,” Betty explained before getting up and taking her leave before Liz could even say goodbye. Betty knew all to well that if she stayed around that she would end up doing Liz’s job, and that was something that simply couldn’t happen.

Glancing down at her watch, Liz sighed. In the next 30 minutes she, Elizabeth Parker, would be committing murder.

So maybe that was a bit dramatic, and not completely true, but it still wigged Liz out. In a few minutes she was going to take some poor guy or girls soul and they would never get to live their life, to grow old and love, or to finish whatever it was they planned on doing.

Sort of like Liz.

She watched men and women enter the doctor’s office. She studied each and every one of them, waiting to see any signs. And she imagined that each and every one of them was a horrible person, someone who was beating his or her children, someone who cheated on their spouse, someone who deserved to die.

And then, out of nowhere, Liz felt it. The subject, the soul was coming. So Liz watched the door like a Hawk, until suddenly a woman entered. Her hair was blonde and pulled tightly up into a bun. She wore a pantsuit. And Liz’s heart broke as she desperately tried to imagine her as nothing but a barren bitch that didn’t deserve to live. But then it happened…then he walked through. C. I. Diggs.

In those precious few minutes Liz pictured her life and she closed her eyes and she wished. She wished for a lot of things…

She wished that she had done better in school.

She wished that she had paid more attention to her parents.

She wished that she had worked harder to be a better friend.

And she wished that she had never given up so much of her life for such a futile cause as trying to win someone’s love when it wasn’t to be given.

And as that thought entered her mind, Liz’s subject came into the room and suddenly Liz felt even worse than before.

She watched the tiny boy bounce lively into the room. The energy in his eyes was enough to make anyone smile, including Liz. Tears spilled from her eyes as she watched him bound about the office as his mother checked him in.

His name was Craig and he was seven years old. He was in first grade and he loved to paint and draw pictures. His favorite food was pizza with skittles. He loved to tell stories and was a master sand castle builder. And he was going to die.

It couldn’t be right. Why would someone so young have to die? He didn’t deserve to; it was cruel…

But it was just as cruel to let him live. Liz knew that too well. For the last year she had lived with a dead soul and for it she had been living in her own personal hell. As Rube had explained it, back in September when she was shot, she was supposed to die; only George never took her soul. Once she was shot, even though Max Evans’ had saved her, her soul had died within her. It rotted and withered away as she continued to push through life.

After that moment she had been waiting for its release.

Everyone has an appointment, and too miss it means the difference between happiness and living in a world so hellish and wrong that even you can’t understand it. And for that reason, Liz forced herself up right and over to that little boy; she wasn’t about to let him go through what she had.

“Hey,” Liz spoke softly so as not to alert Craig’s mother. “How ya doin’?”

Craig stared at her with a bit of trepidation. It was as though he were staring right through her, as though he knew. “I’m not supposed to talk to strangers…”

“Well, my names Liz… now we’re not strangers.”

“I’m Craig!” The boy smiled up at her, offering her one of his Lego’s. She smiled a sad smile but didn’t take the small toy.

“Well Craig, its good to meet you,” Liz insisted enthusiastically. She laid a gentle hand on his shoulder and looked him straight in his eyes. “Is that your mommy?”

“Uh huh!”

“You really love her, don’t you,” Liz whispered just loud enough for him to hear.

“Uh huh! My mommy is the bestest.” He smiled his toothless smile and shook his head furiously. “I love her this much!” He spread his arms wide so as to show how much.

“That’s good… that’s really good… and you know what?” The tears were forming once again and Liz had to fight to keep them away.

“No, what?!”

“I bet your mom would love to know just how much you love her,” Liz insisted softly. It was the one thing she wished she had been able to do. She and her parents had been going through a tough time and she wished that they had known how much she loved them. “So why don’t you go over there and show her just how much you love her.”

With Craig’s enthusiastic nod, Liz let her hand slide from his shoulder, silently taking his soul as she went. He remained lively, but already Liz could see the difference. Hopefully his parents would one day understand. But until then, she only hoped that she could provide a little bit of light in their life before it was completely destroyed.

<B> Chapter 4 </b>

Michael watched as his “new” neighbor slowly but surely picked the lock of the door and entered. He had never seen her before, only a few days ago, actually. One day an obnoxious elderly man, whom owned the key, had occupied it and now some seemingly teenage girl picked the lock every time she wanted inside.

The girl had yet to introduce herself, though Michael wasn’t quite sure if she ever would, especially if she was breaking and entering. But Michael didn’t dare call the police. There was something intriguing about her. Though he had never seen her around town there was something vaguely familiar about her.

For starters, the people whom she hung out with. Michael had seen her on many occasions hanging out with a variety of people. First there was the brunette with the curly hair whom was fairly cute, but definitely seemed high maintenance. Then there was the English guy; he and the curly haired girl seemed to be around the same age. Michael wondered if either of the girls were going out with him, if not both; they did hang out a lot. Next came the police officer chick. That was part of the reason Michael didn’t call the cops immediately, after all, an officer who was there probably wasn’t involved with something illegal, not in Roswell. And finally there was the old dude who wore the old-guy sweaters and khakis. He seemed nice; always smiled whenever he passed Michael.

But Michael couldn’t say much else about the group. It was a very eclectic group, one that Michael had a hard time imagining hanging out. But then, who was he to talk? He was an alien who was dating a human.

Returning his attention to his new neighbor, Michael continued to stare at her closed door. He couldn’t seem to get her out of his mind. Part of it was his constant suspicion that she was working for the FBI or worse she was the enemy. Though she did seem to stay to herself, hell he hadn’t heard a peep out of her.

She had long red hair, a plain face, a petite body with no real memorable features, yet, somehow she still emitted this beauty that Michael had only known from a few others. It was in the way she smiled and laughed. He had heard that before.

But there was something else. Something strange.

Her name was Liz.

Or so Michael suspected. He had heard her “friends” call her that on numerous occasions. Yet when he had seen her out on the streets one day talking to an older man, she had said her name was Betsy. Actually he had heard her say that was her name on quite a few occasions. And if Michael knew anything, Liz and Betsy were not nicknames stemming from one name, like Bob for Robert or Mike for Michael.

As if on cue, Michael watched as the young Englishman came around the corner and started banging on “Betsy’s” door.

“Liz, open the goddamn door, we’ve got to go!”

“Go away Mason.” Michael frowned at the sadness he heard in her voice; it sounded like she was crying. And that troubled Michael for some reason. After all, why did he care about some strange neighbor he didn’t even know.

“Liz, open the fucking door.” Mason pounded on the door one more time. “It was his time, you can’t do anything about it.”

Suddenly the door flew open and Michael gasped at the sight before him. The tears flowing down her face were fresh and continually dropping. Her eyes were red and she looked terribly troubled. But there was an underlying anger there as well.

“No, don’t say that! It was cruel… he will never… never…”

“He would have ended up like you,” Mason reminded her. He dropped his voice and looked her straight in the eye before continuing. “Is that what you want? Do you want his soul to rot and wither inside of him? Cause that’s what would have happened.”

“But he’s only a child,” Liz explained lamely.

“And he’s much happier now than he ever would have been had you not done your job.”

At this point Michael disappeared into his apartment. He wasn’t quite sure what to make of the conversation he had just heard. What exactly were these people doing? Every conversation they have is always about souls. So why were they now talking about souls withering and rotting?

And that’s when the light went off in Michael’s mind. Soles, not souls, as in soles, as in the soles of a shoe. That made sense. Obviously Betsy had had to take away some child’s favorite pairs of shoes because she couldn’t fix his sole’s.

But what did Mason mean by saying that the child would have ended up like Betsy? Michael was confused and all that he could really tell was that the shoe business was a very confusing business.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The back entrance to the Crashdown loomed before Liz, so close yet so far away. The other reapers were off doing their own thing, leaving Liz alone for the first time ever, or so it felt like.

Liz knew she wasn’t supposed to visit those of her past, but she couldn’t help it. She lived in the same town and had to watch them day in and day out as their life fell apart more and more. All she wanted to do was let her parents know she was okay.

And that was how she had ended up at the Crashdown. It was late, but Liz knew her parents would be up most likely cleaning up.

After working through what she would say and do, Liz had decided to put her plan in action. She would knock on the door and her mom or dad would answer. She would then proceed to tell them who she was.

Of course they would refute, saying that their daughter was dead and didn’t like this stupid joke. So she would have to prove it. So she would tell her mom about that ridiculous cupcake dress she had made for her in kindergarten and how she was so proud of it so Liz wore it just to make her mother happy. And then there was her grandmother, the archeologist. How could she know about Claudia unless she was their daughter?

And hopefully her parents would recognize her for who she was.

Moving toward the door, Liz tentatively knocked, awaiting one of her parent’s arrivals. She could her stomach churning as the seconds ticked by, until finally the door peeked open. And standing before was none other than Nancy Parker, her mother.

Tears formed in her eyes and Liz had to violently fight to keep they at bay. If she started balling then she knew she’d never make it through everything. Her mother was just as beautiful as Liz remembered her. She looked older now and Liz could tell that she was straining to keep herself together, but she still looked beautiful to Liz.

“Can I help you?” Nancy asked the girl before her. She stared at her awaiting her answer. She had seen her around town recently. Something about her reminded her of her daughter.

“Mom?” Liz cried softly. She couldn’t stop herself.

“Excuse me?” Nancy croaked. What was this, some sort of sick joke? When the girl didn’t respond Nancy grew angry. “What the hell do you want?”

Liz had never heard her mother speak in such a manner.

“Mom, it… its me…” Liz stuttered. Her eyes moved about erratically taking in as much as she could. The restaurant back room still smelled of grease and burnt meat. It was a scent she had once despised but now missed.

“I don’t know what your problem is, but get the fuck off my door step…” Nancy warned angrily. She didn’t know what this girl was trying to pull, but trying to impersonate her daughter was something Nancy would not tolerate. What did this girl even know about Liz?

“No, it’s really me… in kindergarten you… you…” but the memory wouldn’t come to her. It grew foggy and suddenly Liz couldn’t even think of what she wanted to say. It was like her past was being erased from her mind. What had once been so clear was now gone. So she moved on and tried her next memory. “And grandma…grandma Cl… C... I… she…”

And just like that the memory was gone as well. Everything she had fought so hard to put together and use to let her parents know she was still alive was now gone. The memories were quickly disappearing from her brain leaving her with a void.

And worse yet, Nancy was not amused. She cast a deadly glare upon Liz, unknowing whom she was doing it to. Liz had never seen her mother hold so much hatred in her eyes. It scared her.

“I…I…” Liz tried to think of something to say, but nothing came to her.

“You what? You wanted to pull some sick joke and make a mother think her only baby girl isn’t really dead? Is that what you wanted… well fuck you! You have no right, no right at all. And I suggest you leave before I call the sheriff and have your ass taken to jail for trespassing!” Nancy screamed angrily, tears coursing down her face. She watched as the girl began to back away. She stumbled over the trash and Nancy laughed sardonically at the thought that someone like that deserved to be with the trash. And then she was running away. “That’s right you stupid bitch, you run! You get your sorry ass out of here!”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He heard the sound of footsteps before he saw the body. Turning off the television, Michael stumbled blindly across his apartment and toward the door. He glanced down at his watch and noted that it was well past midnight and he’d be damned if one of his punk ass neighbors was going to keep him up.

Throwing open the door, Michael glared menacingly at the empty hall and growled in frustration. Of course the fucker would escape before Michael could chew him out for making such a racket. But suddenly that thought left him as he heard the faint sound of sobbing.

It came from behind him. It was the new girl… Betsy, or Liz, whichever was really her name.

“Fucking nightmare!” The girl cried out as she fought to open her door. Michael watched on in amusement. Even though he had been asleep only moments ago, he found great comfort in knowing that the person whom had woken him up couldn’t even get into her own apartment.

But as he watched her slide to the ground and cry he couldn’t help but feel a little bit remorseful for the girl. She was obviously alone for the first time in her life and it didn’t appear that she was doing well.

“Ya need some help?” Michael called out. And before she had a chance to offer he found himself walking toward her. He knew he had to look fairly menacing what with his unruly hair and clad only in his boxers and a t-shirt.

“Fuck off,” the girl whimpered. Michael smiled; she sure did have spunk and a mouth on her. But his smile dimmed as he caught sight of her tear-streaked face. It was obvious that she had been crying for some time.

“You ok?” Michael wasn’t quite sure what prompted him to ask her, but there was something about her. It was like a part of him recognized her. But she didn’t respond, merely slam the door on him. And for some reason, it deeply hurt Michael, though he wasn’t sure why.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Standing before the high school, Liz stared at her fellow students with envy in her eyes. Each one was dressed to perfection, a smile plastered on their faces as they walked into the gym for their school prom, a prom that Liz had originally believed she would attend. Tears filled her eyes as she continued to watch them move about, laughing and talking amongst themselves, completely ignoring her.

A lot of people ignored her now a days. Or so she thought.

“Do you know how infested that gym will be after tonight? So many biological hazards, so many people…” Liz turned and glared playfully at Sean. Though she wouldn’t admit it aloud she really did enjoy his company.

Aside from Mason, Sean was the only person that Liz really connected with. Sure she had Betty and Roxy, but Roxy was so hard-core and unlike anyone Liz really knew, so there wasn’t much for them to go on. And Betty, while much like Maria, was still slightly odd and seemed to like being on her own. Rube said it had something to do with how she died, and Liz really didn’t want to get into that at this point. Maybe later she would get to know Betty better.

“It’s a grim reapers favorite dream… probably would only need one night to fill your quota,” Sean teased, seeing that Liz wasn’t about to respond.

“Shut up,” Liz laughed.

“Come on Parker, let me buy you a milk shake,” Sean offered as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and started dragging her back toward town. He knew that she was upset about not being able to go to prom, and as much as he would love to take her, Rube would throw a fit and Sean didn’t need to be dealing with that. Maybe later he could throw Liz and the others a “reaper only” prom.

Than again, maybe not.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

There she was again. Alex watched, completely entranced by her, yet unsure as to why. Every time he saw her his heart sped up and it felt as though it was ready to burst out. And it made absolutely no sense. At least, not to Alex of all people. After all, he was in love with Isabel, right?

But if that was true, then what was it that he was feeling whenever he saw her? God, he didn’t even know her. He’d only seen her around town for the last month. She was always with the same group of people. An Englishman, a police officer, the handsome blonde man, the elder man who wore the Mister Roger sweaters, and the extremely stunning curly brunette. But none of them held his attention like she did.

But how could he miss her with her long red hair, petite figure and breath-taking smile; a smile that reminded him so much of his best friend. She ate breakfast with her friends at the Crashdown every morning. It was like they were conducting some type of business. Maybe they were the next Village People.

And at that moment Alex realized what he was feeling. The loss of Liz Parker had been hard on him and Alex had never quite dealt with it. But once he started seeing her around some of that pain seemed to subside. Maybe it was just her smile that seemed so familiar, but Alex was sure that it was something else.

And as he watched her from the gym he couldn’t help but want to go out there and talk to her, to find out what she was doing in Roswell, where she came from and most importantly, whys he reminded him so much of Liz Parker.

The sadness in her eyes perturbed Alex. He didn’t think she deserved to be so sad. Someone so beautiful and tender deserved to be happy.

“Alex, don’t you want to dance?” Isabel asked as she watched her date stare at another girl from out the window. But Alex was so absorbed with that girl that he didn’t even hear Isabel. He didn’t even move, until the girl started to walk away with a handsome young man. “Alex?! Alex, where are you going?”

Alex faintly heard his date calling after him, but something inside of him was pushing him to go after the red head, to find out who she was before it was too late. Isabel would be there when he returned, but somehow Alex knew his time was short and he didn’t have many more chances to find out who this girl was.

He jogged out toward the grassy knoll of the school pushing himself to go faster so that he could meet this girl and finally find out what was really going on. And that’s when he heard it.

“Come on Parker, let me buy you a milkshake.”

Parker. The name hit him like a ton of bricks. He felt his lungs contract violently against the unspoken name of his dead best friend. No one in this forsaken town was named Parker except for Nancy, Jeff and Elizabeth Parker.

“It's not easy,” the red head insisted as they continued down the road, oblivious that Alex was following behind them, hanging on their every word.

“No, Liz, but it can be. It can be really, really easy. You know, you just have to stop pretending,” the blonde answered kindly. His eyes were trained on her and Alex could tell that the man cared dearly for her.

“What do you mean?”

“You know, you really do… you’re just holding on to something that'll never be. Liz, you have to just let go. You have been in so much pain, pain that you don’t deserve to be in. This whole year, and it's like you’re suffocating… but if you let go…”

“Sean…” Alex froze at the name spoken from her lips. Sean.

After Liz’s death, Sean DeLuca had disappeared. It was as though he had never existed. Hell, no one had even seen him leave the UFO Center after Brody had shot Liz. The police had desperately searched for him so as to get his side of the story, but he was nowhere to be found.

Until now. Or so Alex believed.

But how could Liz and Sean be alive and talking when Max, Tess, Amy and Maria Deluca watched Brody kill her. They had seen her die before them. Max had even held her lifeless body within his arms, praying that he could do something. Liz Parker was dead and Sean DeLuca had somehow disappeared moments after it had happened.

Yet somehow they stood before him.

But even weirder then that, something inside Alex told him that it was okay, that everything would be explained soon and then it would all make sense. And with that Alex turned and walked back toward his prom, fully aware that very soon he would know every secret he wanted to know.

<B> Chapter 5 </b>

“Come on now, if you don’t drink that fatty shake then you’ll never consume all those fatty calories you need so you can complain about your thighs bein’ too big,” Mason goaded Liz as she played with the straw of her enormous alien smoothie. He took another slurp of his own before giving her a good poke in the side.

“Mason…”

“Mason, Liz, over here,” Rube called, interrupting their little playtime. Sean, Betty and Roxy were already in the booth with Rube discussing whatever it was they felt like talking about tonight.

“He was slumped over the dining room table with a vacuum cleaner. I think he was having sex with it,” Betty insisted enthusiastically. She was always excited by the strangest things. Yet there was also a look of disgust on her face that threw Liz.

“Upright?” Roxy asked.

“Slumped over,” Betty corrected. Mason and Sean exchanged a look and smiled as though they actually understood what the two girls were talking about. Liz was just lost.

“The vacuum cleaner,” Roxy clarified, a bit irritated. She didn’t like having to explain herself anymore than she had to.

Betty stared at the other woman for a moment unsure as to what she was talking about before a smile spread across her face. “Oh, no. The other kind. The kind with the hose.”

“Oh, I need a vacuum cleaner, but I want an upright,” Roxy said with a bit of disappointment. She had been searching for one for some time now.

Having enough of their banter, Rube decided that now was the time to butt in and hand out their assignments. “Okay, enough of this, take these and leave me be; I have work to do.”

Each respective reaper took their next job and stared at the tiny Post-It for a moment, taking in the little information they received. Liz had someone named <I> D. R. Kindler </I> and they were to die early tomorrow morning. She could only imagine how. It was probably an older person who would hopefully die in his or her sleep. Or so Liz hoped.

“Rube, you’ve got to be kidding me…” Betty said in shock. Everyone looked up, including Liz. Sean grabbed the Post-It and studied it before suddenly looking up and directly at Liz, a certain sadness suddenly taking over her. Mason snatched the piece of paper next and a sigh escaped his mouth before he could even stop it.

This only put Liz more on edge. She tried to steal the Post-It from Sean, but Rube had already taken a hold of one edge. The next thing Liz knew the paper was tearing in two. She quickly picked up the piece before her and studied it.

<I> …C. Whitman </I>

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sitting on his bed, guitar across his lap, and fingers strumming on the soundboard, Alex balanced the phone with one hand and the bottle of aspirin in his other. His head felt like it was splitting open, and listening to Isabel complain was not helping. Then there was Maria, whom was sitting on his bed, and trying to help him as well. Why couldn’t his life just be simple?

“Yeah, Isabel, it really was a great night for me too,” Alex diligently insisted. Maybe if he could just get her to believe him then he could go to sleep and get this stupid headache to go away.

“Really?” An insecure Isabel asked over the phone. After Alex had run off for some 30 minutes, Isabel wasn’t too sure what to believe. Deciding to take the plunge, Isabel forged ahead. “So what are you doing tonight?”

“Tonight?” Alex didn’t want to go out tonight. All he really wanted to do was sit at home and rest, if that was possible. But he still looked to Maria for her suggestion. She was shrugging her shoulders. “Umm, I can't.”

“Why?” Isabel asked before she could stop herself. Ever since Liz’s death Alex had really seemed to pull away even more than before.

“ I have a, ah,” he looked to Maria for help, but she was of no use. Her eyes were glossed over from crying over a picture of Liz. Finally thinking of his own answer, Alex tore his eyes away from his best friend and responded. “I'm studying.”

“Alex,” Isabel whined. If only she could get him to go out with her. “An A is the best you can get.”

“Yeah, I know. But I gotta, I've got a monstrous final in, ah,” he grabbed the closest book and glanced at the title. “Robert Frost? Errr, I mean English. Eng... English -- I've got a killer final, Mr. Broski's really puttin' the screws to us.”

“Well, if you'd rather stay and study, not come out and play with me...” She giggles, but Alex can tell she’s nervous and insecure about what is going on between them. And at one point Alex would have rushed to her. In the past Alex knew he would have been the one calling and pleading for a date, but now Isabel was lost little puppy and Alex was the man who had better things to do.

“I don't want to, but I have to.” Alex tried to explain, hoping that it made Isabel feel a little better. Maria flashed a smile of acceptance, as though that helped in any way.

“Well, if you change your mind, I'll be at the Crashdown, probably until closing. So…” Isabel suddenly shut her mouth as she realized her mistake. Maria, Kyle and Alex hadn’t stepped foot near the UFO Center or Crashdown since Liz’s death. She had seen them pass by with tears in their eyes, but never inside.

Sure they had gone to the Parker’s home for Liz’s funeral and she had seen Alex periodically visit the Parker’s but he had never stayed to eat at the Crashdown.

“ Maybe… well... I'll see you later,” Alex said lamely. He didn’t have much more energy in him to talk for much longer.

“Okay,” Isabel sighed before hanging up.

Alex set the phone back on the receiver and stared at it for a moment. Images from the night before flew through his mind and he couldn’t help but feel bad about ditching Isabel, but then, since Liz’s death Alex had really changed. His mind was even more scattered than before and nothing really made any sense to him, especially lately.

“This blows,” Alex finally lamented as he tossed the bottle of aspirin to the floor.

“Well, at least you have the upper hand now,” Maria supplemented hoping to cheer her friend up. “You've got her chasing you. Who'd have thought that?”

“Not me,” Alex admitted honestly.

“Anyway, I have to get to work,” Maria sighed. She shoved herself off the bed and turned her gaze to her friend. “Just remember, be strong…strong, strong, strong…”

“I think those are words both of us have to live by,” Alex said just loud enough for Maria to hear. She barely nodded her head in acceptance.

“Yeah, strong,” Maria finally whispered as she headed toward the door. As she reached it she noticed a delivery guy ready to knock.

“Hey, is this the Whitman residence?”

“Yeah,” Maria confirmed. She turned and yelled toward Alex that his food was here before taking off.

Placing his guitar on its stand, Alex gruffly pushed himself up and started toward the front door. He had called the Thai restaurant some forty minutes ago and awaited its delivery ever so patiently. But now his patience was wearing thin.

“Its about time,” Alex growled angrily. Normally he would just smile and not tip as well, but something was irking him lately and he wasn’t his normal self.

“Sorry man, I got all turned around on Cherry Drive, or whatever,” the delivery guy explained offhandedly, uncaring as to the man’s attitude.

“Yeah, whatever,” Alex grunted as he took the bag and handed over some cash.

“Thanks,” the kid said enthusiastically as he eyed the tip that would come from this delivery.

“Hey, this isn't even warm,” Alex complained to the delivery guys retreating figure.

“Aw man, yeah. Sorry. You better nuke it.”

Glaring at the kid as he drove off, Alex grumbled to himself, unaware of just how crazy he sounded. “I'm, I'm...I'm so sick of this. I'm.... Always the same thing, always cold. Always the same thing -- I'm just so sick of everything.” He bumbled about the house toward the microwave, intent on having some hot food. “Why does life have to be so wrong? Why does everything have to be a lie? First I lose my best friend then everything else goes wrong…”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“You can’t do this to me, I have the right to know!” Liz yelled angrily. Her face was contorted and twisted about into something no one recognized. The veins in the side of her neck were pulsing against her flesh as she heatedly fought with Rube. And tears spilled down her cheeks, showing just how upset she was about this turn of events.

“Why do you want to know? You can’t change anything, so what does it matter?” Rube gritted out. He had had enough of this with George; he didn’t need to deal with Liz’s tantrums as well. Didn’t they get it? There was nothing that they could do to change these people’s fates. It was gods or whoever’s will that these people died. And even Rube knew there was nothing that he could do to change that.

Staring him straight in the eye, Liz choked on her gasp for air as she fought to come up with some way to explain this to Rube. And in that moment Rube saw just how heartbroken his newest worker was. A part of him broke with her, but he knew there was nothing he could to do to help her.

“He’s my friend…” Liz finally brokenly admitted. Tears splashed down her face at a faster rate, soaking her shirt. Her lashes clumped together and stuck to her skin. Rube tried to focus his attention on this small detail instead of the crying girl before him, a girl whom he considered to be like his own daughter. “He’s my best friend…”

“And what would you do? Try to save him? Warn him? Make everything better?” Rube queried softly. The others were listening closely, waiting to see what the outcome of this fight would be. They all remembered George’s fight with Rube when someone was to die at her home, but this was different, this wasn’t just some random person, this was a personal friend. “There is nothing you can do or say to change this; once you admit that to me then I will show you the appointment. But know this, Liz, you have no say in anything.”

“But I want to…”

“The butterfly flaps its wings, the cricket chips its song; whatever saying you want to live by, they all apply in the same way, and no matter what you say or do or think, whoever is on this Post-It will die and there is nothing you or anyone else can do,” Rube elucidated, ensuring that everyone understood what he was saying. “Do you understand?”

Collapsing into the chair behind her, Liz nodded in acceptance. She violently wiped at her tears, wishing them away so that the others wouldn’t see her in her weakened state.

“Why do I lose all the people and things that are close to me?” Liz sobbed.

Taking a seat beside her, Rub placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and hoped to give her some form of solace. When she didn’t recoil, he wrapped his arms around her pulling her into his embrace.

“Because that’s what life is.”