Freeze - TEEN - M/L - 1/1 - 09/07/04 [COMPLETE]
Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 10:16 am
Title: Freeze
Author: Lindsay
Category: M/L
Rating: TEEN. I hope I didn't just send anyone into cardiac arrest...
Disclaimer: The characters of Roswell belong to The WB, Melinda Metz, and UPN.
Summary: Based on the Roswell episode Departure. Liz's POV and it's uh...not too happy. Chalk this one up to a weird mood. If you're looking for a happy ending, you've come to the wrong place.
<center>
</center>
<center>Freeze</center>
You ever have a moment when everything just…freezes? When everything you thought you knew, and everything you dreaded to comprehend coincide and become reality?
Then you remember…you remember a time when staring into his golden eyes brought you nothing but a false sense of security and that forbidden edge of desire. You remember how it felt…to glow all over.
The only thing glowing now is the clock on the wall as it counts down the seconds. Bringing his departure all that much closer…and deep down you know this is the moment when anything can happen. And it does.
Freeze.
“Liz, there's something I need to tell you. It's about Tess and me...”
Freeze.
“Our relationship is...we spent the night together.”
Of course the immobolization period only lasts so long. There’s always something that throws everything back into action, sends the minutes speeding up until everything is running at such a fast pace that you try to step back, try to see it through eyes that aren’t dimmed with tears of regret.
“Liz... Tess is pregnant…”
His voice breaks slightly on the admission, but you can barely hear it through the dense ringing in your ears. You want nothing more than to block it all out, to simply turn and walk away…from him. But you can’t. You can’t because…you’re frozen.
“Liz? Did you hear me?”
His hoarse voice grows concerned, his eyes glassy as he swallows. He raises a hand towards you, but you know a single touch would shatter everything.
“Don’t….touch me…” a voice chokes out, and you’re amazed to realize it’s your own. Amazed at the fact that you can speak at all, when everything inside of you is so dark. Like a lightswitch that’s been flipped. You’re no longer glowing…anywhere.
He flinches, looking away as the words reverberate in the silence of the room. His mouth parts, his lips trembling as two words spill forth. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” you cry out, blinking rapidly as he turns to meet your anguished expression. “You fucked your alien whore, and now she’s pregnant. And you’re sorry? That you forgot to use a condom, Max, or that you didn’t pull out in time?”
“Liz…” he pleads, licking his lips, but the name means nothing. Who is Liz? You no longer know…nothing makes sense anymore. It hasn’t for as long as you can remember.
You’re no longer frozen, but exploding…melting. “I-I trusted you, I gave you everything. I jumped off bridges for you, I broke laws for you, I risked getting shot for you, I trusted you! And you go off- God, with Tess- God, I saved myself for you!”
“Saved yourself? You slept with Kyle!” he rasps, his entire body shaking as you stare in heated bewilderment.
And just like that…you’re frozen.
“Take me home.”
<center>***</center>
“I always thought when we graduated I would give you my ring,” he whispers. You can feel the weight of his gaze…the desire for you to turn and meet it. A heavy sigh, a shaky murmur. “It looks like I won't graduate, so this is something from where I'll be.”
You continue staring out the window, unable to feign the slightest interest in his words. The truth is, the strength it would take to move is more than you possess.
Silence. The sound of a tongue sliding across dry lips. He shifts, breathing shallowly before he whispers, “Liz, you never slept with Kyle, did you?”
Bingo, we have a winner folks. Only after you hear his indrawn breath do you realize you’ve spoken aloud. A quick turn of your head and you’re drowning in a golden pool of pain. The frozen crust splits inside of you at the sight, and through the crack you feel everything. It all comes pouring down upon you as you hold his tortured gaze.
“I wish, I wish this all could have been different. I wish that so much,” he chokes out, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand.
Fast forward.
Your mouth is pressed against his, your hands cradling his face as his tongue strokes your lips. He tastes different than before…a saltier, rougher flavor. Tears? Part of you wonders if it’s simply knowing that he’s no longer the innocent you loved. That mouth has kissed her…caressed her…
You pull away, avoiding his pleading expression as he attempts to draw you back. You move as far away as you can, asking one simple question. Yet it’s not simple. It’s…everything. “Just tell me one thing... do you love her?”
Frozen.
His entire expression crumples and his eyes shine as he swallows and whispers fervently, “Not like I love you.”
Wrong.
A bitter laugh escapes your throat and you shake your head before answering. Your final stand. “You never loved me.”
He inhales sharply, but you’re already running…and the glow is gone.
<center>***</center>
Everything’s changed. The truth has been exposed…and you know you should feel victorious, even smug. He was wrong to trust her, to love her…
All you feel is frozen.
You stand silent, watching as rocks erupt around you. The ground shakes, but it’s nothing compared to the rumblings inside of you.
They speak in excited tones around you, but you block it all out…you can’t concentrate on anything but the memories. You know that they will haunt you for the rest of your life.
Of course, being frozen helps.
“Liz.”
The softly uttered word catches your attention, as does the pair of golden eyes as he steps forward, a hopeful expression of wariness on his handsome face. He stops in front of you, glancing up from beneath dark lashes. He blinks several times before saying in a determined voice, “I've been really wrong about a lot. But I was right about one thing- to get you into my life, to be around you, to love you.”
He watches you earnestly, but you no longer feel secure. There’s no forbidden edge. You’ve forgotten how to glow.
And all you can say is, “I’m sorry…”
Because you’re frozen.
Author: Lindsay
Category: M/L
Rating: TEEN. I hope I didn't just send anyone into cardiac arrest...
Disclaimer: The characters of Roswell belong to The WB, Melinda Metz, and UPN.
Summary: Based on the Roswell episode Departure. Liz's POV and it's uh...not too happy. Chalk this one up to a weird mood. If you're looking for a happy ending, you've come to the wrong place.
<center>
</center><center>Freeze</center>
You ever have a moment when everything just…freezes? When everything you thought you knew, and everything you dreaded to comprehend coincide and become reality?
Then you remember…you remember a time when staring into his golden eyes brought you nothing but a false sense of security and that forbidden edge of desire. You remember how it felt…to glow all over.
The only thing glowing now is the clock on the wall as it counts down the seconds. Bringing his departure all that much closer…and deep down you know this is the moment when anything can happen. And it does.
Freeze.
“Liz, there's something I need to tell you. It's about Tess and me...”
Freeze.
“Our relationship is...we spent the night together.”
Of course the immobolization period only lasts so long. There’s always something that throws everything back into action, sends the minutes speeding up until everything is running at such a fast pace that you try to step back, try to see it through eyes that aren’t dimmed with tears of regret.
“Liz... Tess is pregnant…”
His voice breaks slightly on the admission, but you can barely hear it through the dense ringing in your ears. You want nothing more than to block it all out, to simply turn and walk away…from him. But you can’t. You can’t because…you’re frozen.
“Liz? Did you hear me?”
His hoarse voice grows concerned, his eyes glassy as he swallows. He raises a hand towards you, but you know a single touch would shatter everything.
“Don’t….touch me…” a voice chokes out, and you’re amazed to realize it’s your own. Amazed at the fact that you can speak at all, when everything inside of you is so dark. Like a lightswitch that’s been flipped. You’re no longer glowing…anywhere.
He flinches, looking away as the words reverberate in the silence of the room. His mouth parts, his lips trembling as two words spill forth. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” you cry out, blinking rapidly as he turns to meet your anguished expression. “You fucked your alien whore, and now she’s pregnant. And you’re sorry? That you forgot to use a condom, Max, or that you didn’t pull out in time?”
“Liz…” he pleads, licking his lips, but the name means nothing. Who is Liz? You no longer know…nothing makes sense anymore. It hasn’t for as long as you can remember.
You’re no longer frozen, but exploding…melting. “I-I trusted you, I gave you everything. I jumped off bridges for you, I broke laws for you, I risked getting shot for you, I trusted you! And you go off- God, with Tess- God, I saved myself for you!”
“Saved yourself? You slept with Kyle!” he rasps, his entire body shaking as you stare in heated bewilderment.
And just like that…you’re frozen.
“Take me home.”
<center>***</center>
“I always thought when we graduated I would give you my ring,” he whispers. You can feel the weight of his gaze…the desire for you to turn and meet it. A heavy sigh, a shaky murmur. “It looks like I won't graduate, so this is something from where I'll be.”
You continue staring out the window, unable to feign the slightest interest in his words. The truth is, the strength it would take to move is more than you possess.
Silence. The sound of a tongue sliding across dry lips. He shifts, breathing shallowly before he whispers, “Liz, you never slept with Kyle, did you?”
Bingo, we have a winner folks. Only after you hear his indrawn breath do you realize you’ve spoken aloud. A quick turn of your head and you’re drowning in a golden pool of pain. The frozen crust splits inside of you at the sight, and through the crack you feel everything. It all comes pouring down upon you as you hold his tortured gaze.
“I wish, I wish this all could have been different. I wish that so much,” he chokes out, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand.
Fast forward.
Your mouth is pressed against his, your hands cradling his face as his tongue strokes your lips. He tastes different than before…a saltier, rougher flavor. Tears? Part of you wonders if it’s simply knowing that he’s no longer the innocent you loved. That mouth has kissed her…caressed her…
You pull away, avoiding his pleading expression as he attempts to draw you back. You move as far away as you can, asking one simple question. Yet it’s not simple. It’s…everything. “Just tell me one thing... do you love her?”
Frozen.
His entire expression crumples and his eyes shine as he swallows and whispers fervently, “Not like I love you.”
Wrong.
A bitter laugh escapes your throat and you shake your head before answering. Your final stand. “You never loved me.”
He inhales sharply, but you’re already running…and the glow is gone.
<center>***</center>
Everything’s changed. The truth has been exposed…and you know you should feel victorious, even smug. He was wrong to trust her, to love her…
All you feel is frozen.
You stand silent, watching as rocks erupt around you. The ground shakes, but it’s nothing compared to the rumblings inside of you.
They speak in excited tones around you, but you block it all out…you can’t concentrate on anything but the memories. You know that they will haunt you for the rest of your life.
Of course, being frozen helps.
“Liz.”
The softly uttered word catches your attention, as does the pair of golden eyes as he steps forward, a hopeful expression of wariness on his handsome face. He stops in front of you, glancing up from beneath dark lashes. He blinks several times before saying in a determined voice, “I've been really wrong about a lot. But I was right about one thing- to get you into my life, to be around you, to love you.”
He watches you earnestly, but you no longer feel secure. There’s no forbidden edge. You’ve forgotten how to glow.
And all you can say is, “I’m sorry…”
Because you’re frozen.