So, how did this happen? I wondered.
Did I finish it in a drunken stupor and then pass out after, forgetting I'd ever touched it? Unlikely, since I haven't gotten drunk in years.
Did a better me fom the future come back and finish it for me? Possibly.
Or did I just complete it and forget to post it because I'm a post-forgetting idiot? Probably, lol.
So over the next few days I'm gonna be posting the rest of this story. Now I don't doubt that I've lost most of my readers but as stated years and years ago, this story deserves an ending; Even if I'm just sending it out into the abyss to be ignored, lol. So if anyone is still out there, or maybe any new readers that just discovered this epically long story, lol, thanks for reading.
Hope you enjoy(ed) the ride

And I'm polishing off an old summary for anyone who actually came back and might need a refresher.
So once again we go, into the breach...
Previously on Time Runs Both Ways:
Liz stands on a ledge contemplating suicide . . . Both Alex and Max were gone, killed by Tess in her attempt to return to Antar. Michael pulls Liz back from the ledge and in the following days, she tries to recover. But things go from bad to worse when she gets a vision of everyone dying . . .
Enter mystery lady, later identified as new character, Evera (a.k.a. Eve) in Liz’s dream to tell her that her vision will come true and Future Max’s letter that offers a way, not to prevent this future, but to undo the past that led to it . . . Liz is also told that she has powers that she will know how to use “when the need for them arises . . .”
As predicted, Liz’s vision comes true . . . Nicholas and company lead an attack that leaves most in their group either dead or dying . . .
So using the crystal that Future Max left her and the granolith, Liz’s essence (since her body was moments from death) travels back in time . . .
Now in the past, Liz struggles with her memories of that other time . . . She finds it increasingly hard to prevent the past from repeating itself and she is also haunted by dreams where her other essence reminds her of the inevitability of certain events . . .
Things come to a head with a showdown between Tess and Liz that Liz walks away from, but Tess does not. Liz unexpectedly tries to heal Tess and in the course of her attempt, Tess sees visions of what Liz came back to prevent, which causes Tess to transfer her mindwarping power to Liz right before she dies.
Liz can't see this act as anything more than Tess's final revenge since she can't seem to gain control of this power and keeps inadvertently using it on people.
Max steps in every time and fixes any damage, but Liz is reaching the end of her ability to cope. Between the nightmares, the flashbacks, and the new powers, her sanity is slowly shredding.
Enter Evera, once again appearing in Liz's dream to tell her that Max can't keep trying to lessen her nightmares and remind her that there is somewhere that she needs to be.
And after a brief moment to gather her strength, Liz goes.
And now . . .
~.~.~
“Hello darkness, my old friend...” - Simon and Garfunkel
Chapter 24: How do you breathe?
Liz drew in a shaky breath and let it out slowly as she took her final steps forward onto the ledge.
She knew why she was here. She knew, but god, she felt so unprepared . . .
Arms wrapped defensively around herself, she shook with the need to flee this place; to continue on as if everything was . . . well, not fine, but better than this.
A light breeze blew past her in a soft caress and her eyes drifted closed as she acknowledged how the wind here seemed to welcome her back.
She exhaled and opened her eyes; attention focused down, on the spot that she once thought would bring her peace...
Her knees buckled and she hit the platform, the impact jarring. She panted, knees stinging, hands pressed flat against the unyielding concrete, head bowed, she remained there, because this place knew . . . what she had almost done . . .
She focused on taking deep breaths. Control warring with emotion, she fought, even though she knew she wouldn't win.
She'd come here in that other timeline . . . When it had all gotten to be too much . . . When continuing on seemed impossible . . . She'd come here, prepared to end it, and the pain had lessened . . .
Not this time.
The gravestones in the cemetery were littered with the names of her friends, every one of them.
In this timeline, she'd been coiling her grief tight and stuffing it down for months. The only time it managed to break free was in bursts, during her dreams. But now, dear god, now, in this place, it was refusing to be contained.
She pulled her limbs in close, knees to chest, arms wrapped tight around them, no memory of when she'd changed positions, and tried to breathe through it...
Isabel was gone before Kyle had even stopped the car. The devastation on Kyle's face as he exited numbly, Isabel's blood still clinging to him, all the proof Liz needed as she ran and grabbed his hand, pulling him forward, leaving Isabel's body behind.
Her friends were fine now. She knew that . . . She did . . . But that other future was literally littered with the bodies of all the people she'd had to leave behind . . .
Kyle went down so quick from Nicholas' blast, from a device meant for aliens, he'd never even stood a chance. Sometimes the worst part of that memory was that she had had to leave him where he fell.
She closed her eyes and held in a scream, breath stuttering. She was holding on so tight that power sprang up to crackle in the air around her, blue lightning radiating from her fingertips as she just tried to breathe...
Max's skin was gray, the silver handprint standing out in stark contrast, and he was cold, no warmth left at all when they found him at the pod chamber. Yet Liz clung to him, offering her warmth if he'd, god, if he'd just come back...
Her pain, her grief, seemed to swell and groan at it's confines...
The bullet, at such close range, punched a hole through Alex's chest and exploded from his back, blood flying out in a spray. He was gone instantly.
The grief ripped out of her in a sob so violent her whole body spasmed, releasing the power she'd been holding tight.
It hit with the force of a bomb blast.
The building below her rumbled as the earth shifted beneath it and a loud crack split the air as something in the foundation gave way. The streetlights flared bright, threw off sparks and then shattered, throwing the surrounding areas into darkness even as car alarms began a blaring racket. Unaware, anguish and power still pouring out in equal measure, both racing along her nerve endings, Liz's high pitched gasps for breath converged into a scream that seemed to rip it's way out from her soul, it felt so raw.
Across town in Michael's apartment, Maria's Snapple crashed to the floor in a violent shatter as she bent in two and clutched at her chest. Across the room, Alex's actions mimicked hers as he folded with a groan. Isabel gasped and her hands flew up to grasp her head in agony. Michael's fist clenched spasmodically around the phone he was holding as his knees buckled. He vaguely heard the plastic crack, Valenti's tinny voice yelling his son's name from the hand piece.
"Fuck!"
Yep, that pretty much covered it.
~.~.~
Max found her there, on that ledge.
Blue lightning still chased itself down her arms; the stars and Liz, the only light for miles.
Gaze turned inward, she sat there trembling, head pointed towards the sky and tears streaming as if the world had come to an end . . .
~*Tell me I will never die*~
She didn't seem to notice he was there; Didn't, maybe couldn't, acknowledge his presence, even when he had pulled her close and she was resting in his arms.
~*Take away my pain*~
Max took comfort in the little things; The shudder that swept her frame when his arms closed around her; The blue lightning that stuttered, then flicked out, like a switch being thrown, along with a hiccuped exhale that resembled relief.
~*Rock me gently in your arms*~
Still, it took awhile of him holding her close and murmuring quietly before she was responsive and then she curled around him, her tears turning to gut wrenching sobs that seemed like they were ripping her apart.
~*Say that I'll remain in your keeping*~
"Shh, it's ok, it's gonna be ok I swear" he whispered, willing to shape the world into a better place, mold it with his bare hands, if it would make Liz feel better.
~*Brush the hair out from my eyes*~
"S-Sorry" Liz said between shuddering breaths.
~*Read me a good story*~
He could see her visibly pulling the pieces back together and he gathered her closer. "Liz please, please, you don't have to be strong for me. You can just be . . . Let it out if you need to, but don't bury it again . . . Please" he begged.
~*Kiss my fingertips good night*~
Liz exhaled on a whisper. "Didn't want to come back here where I tried to..." her voice hitched. "Had to."
~*Say that I can stay in your company*~
Max's arms tightened around her as he threw a haunted look at the ledge. "Why-" His voice emerged hoarse and he cleared it before continuing. "Why Liz? Why here?"
~*And I know this much is true*~
She took a shaky breath, clung to Max for a moment and then pulled away a little so that she could see him. Her face was wet but her eyes were dry.
~*I have lived inside of you*~
Max refused to let her move very far.
“How did you find me?” she asked, ignoring his question. Her voice came out strong even though her hands were still clenched tightly in his t-shirt.
~*You have always seen me through*~
His eyes caressed her profile as he answered softly “I just followed my heart.”
~*While I am peacefully*~
~*Sleep*~
Liz inhaled shakily, a ghost of a smile flitting across her face, then she blinked at him. "Max, what-" Her voice shook as she took in a cut with blood trailing from his hairline.
Max sighed as he felt along his hairline and winced. "Liz" he started then stopped, arms tightening around her. "We all, we felt you up here...when you..." Liz exhaled on a shudder and closed her eyes, a tear escaping as a heavy weight settled more firmly on her shoulders. Max just gathered her closer. "I was driving when I felt it...And the road just, went away . . . I think it was because of the blocks you put up to protect us from the mindwarps? We're all connected now, I think" he said softly. "Through you."
Liz had started crying again. "I never meant for any of you to feel that."
She shuddered, her eyes pulled inexorably back to the blood on Max's hairline. Max reached up to heal the injury, seeing how much it upset her but she stopped him, reaching up to heal it herself. When she made contact, a spark of blue radiated from her fingertip and sent a shock through him. He met her eyes in surprise.
The connection formed immediately.
Max had gotten flashes from Liz before. Prior to this, he would have honestly said, with complete confidence, that he knew Liz inside and out, thanks to their shared flashes over the years . . . But what he felt this time, with that first flash from Liz, was like being submerged . . .
There was no filter, no pictures, no sound, no distractions . . . Just pure unadulterated Liz . . . It was like being drowned in pain and sorrow . . . Her grief a tidal wave that washed over him and kept battering . . .
Liz's voice calling his name pulled him back. She was clinging to him and apologizing, breath coming in gasps. She pulled in breath on a sob when his arms closed around her once more and Max just pulled her closer, his breathing shaky. "Shh, it's ok" he soothed.
Liz shook her head, face buried in his chest. "Sorry, so sorry, sorry..."
She looked up at him, face collapsed in grief. "I'm trying Max. I swear I'm trying . . . I just can't get a hold of it anymore . . ." A tear fell as she blinked and before she could look away, before more than a breath was exchanged between them, Max was pulled back in . . .
~*Something always brings me back to you*~
Liz curled around him and the connection felt like falling into her . . .
~*It never takes too long*~
Her emotions tugged and he stumbled deeper, into a place fraught with despair . . .
~*No matter what I say or do*~
And even though this was their connection, he found himself having to search for her there.
~*I still feel you here*~
He searched for a long time it seemed, Liz always beyond his reach . . .
~*Till the moment I'm gone*~
He remained patient. Liz was all around him and yet, somehow, nowhere . . . And even though he thought he was prepared, he sucked in a sharp breath when he found her . . .
~*You hold me without touch*~
Liz cowered outside the reach of light; spent, hurting and so fiercely alone in her grief it seemed like she had never been anything else.
~*You keep me without chains*~
He exhaled, crouching at her back. She stiffened before sighing in an echo that sounded like goodbyes whispered through a connection followed by aching silence . . .
~*I never wanted anything so much*~
He wrapped himself around her and her shudder felt like cold embraces in pod chambers . . .
~*Than to drown in your love*~
He turned her in his arms and her tears felt like bloodstains on skin . . .
~*And not feel your rain*~
She collapsed into him and somehow she became him. In this place where light didn't reach, he absorbed it all . . .
~*Set me free*~
Under the weight of grief and memories, he refused to leave and stayed to share the burden, even though he could feel Liz fighting to hold onto it.
~*Leave me be*~
He saw horrible, terrible things through her eyes . . . He saw their friends hurt, saw their pain, saw blood and sweat and tears and fear so stark and cold, he shook with it . . .
He saw the people he loved fall, saw them die, and he felt helpless, abandoned, afraid, and so damn angry at all of it . . .
~*I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity*~
These emotions weren't his, but they felt like his . . .
Even as she fought to keep him out he just held her tighter . . .
~* Here I am *~
~*And I stand...so tall*~
He understood, now that she was letting him see, that she had been emotionally bleeding out for months . . .
~*Just the way I'm supposed to be *~
And all their attempts to help had been like putting band-aids on a gunshot wound . . . There were too many memories, too much grief suppressed, too much fear of what might still be . . .
~*You hold me without touch*~
She was fracturing under all the memories, under the weight, the pain, she had been carrying around . . .
~*You keep me without chains*~
She had come to the ledge because on some level she knew it was the only place she could let it all go . . .
~*I never wanted anything so much*~
But coming to the ledge was like emotionally gutting herself, and now she was bleeding out . . .
~*Than to drown in your love*~
She couldn't gain control of it, couldn't pull herself back . . .
~*And not feel your rain*~
He felt her break and this part he couldn't help . . .
~*You love me 'cause I'm fragile*~
After she broke, he soothed and loved and put her back together again . . .
~*When I thought that I was strong*~
He held her closer; sent his care, his affection, his love for her, wrapped them around her mentally the way he was wrapped around her physically . . .
~*And you touched me for a little while*~
Then he sent the rest of their group's emotions for her . . . Their care, their worry and their love for her, which was right there in their interactions with her, plain as day for anyone to see . . .
~*And all my fragile strength is gone*~
And the memories changed . . . Good started to creep in around the bad . . . This was their shared connection after all, so it couldn't just be pain and grief and blood and tears . . . Because Max and Liz were more than that . . .
~*Set me free*~
Together they remembered and grieved but then something strange happened. A startled laugh emerged with one of Max's memories and inside their shared connection emerged joy . . . And their dark corner was no longer as dark . . .
~*Leave me be*~
Yet they still clung to each other . . . Oblivious to the light, to anything that wasn't each other . . . Sorrow was absorbed and accepted . . . And the light became brighter . . . The light that had started out dim became bright enough to light the room . . .
Then it went supernova . . .
~*I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity*~
They clung tighter even as they shut their eyes against it's brightness . . .
~* Here I am *~
~*And I stand...so tall*~
~*Just the way I'm supposed to be*~
When they re-opened them, they were back on the ledge, still wrapped tightly around each other. Max's eyes met hers, worry still hidden within their depths.
Silently Liz reached up to touch his cheek and only then did Max realize he'd been crying. Liz didn't comment on it though. She simply smiled at him in a way that somehow conveyed that she was ok now.
Max's lip quirked even as his forehead came to rest against hers. As he took a deep breath, Liz took in one as well, hers a little shaky, and found her limbs heavier than expected. As her body slumped, Max pulled back in time to see her eyes glaze over for a second. Before he could ask what had just happened she said softly “I think it’s done . . .”
“What’s done sweetheart?” he asked as he tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear. She smiled at the endearment, expression then changing to puzzlement as she looked up at him.
“I . . . I think I should have had more coffee” she said as her eyes drifted closed and her body grew limp in his arms, her head coming to rest in that familiar space beneath his chin.
Max smiled and gathered her closer, thinking that with the emotional hell she’d gone through in the past few days, she had to be exhausted.
He figured maybe things would be ok now. Maybe they could finally start moving forward. Liz shifted closer to him and took in a large breath, eyes still closed.
And then she stopped breathing.
tbc . . .
Music in this chapter from Jann Arden’s “In Your Keeping” and Sara Bareilles "Gravity"
A/N: Despite all evidence to the contrary, this is not a death fic. Seriously.
Next chapter: I will remember you . . .