Title: Réveiller: Awaken
Category: Short Dreamer fic.
Summary: Two years after Departure. Max's point of view.
Companion piece to Dormir: To Sleep
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: Thank you to my awesome beta, Liz, who also makes the best screencaps in all of Rosdom!
(Banner was made by me)
~ Max ~
I squeeze my eyes shut and rub my aching temples. The ticking of the clock on the wall is the only sound that can be heard throughout the cold apartment. It's grating on my nerves and for a moment, I'm tempted to raise my hand and blast it off its perch. But I stop, knowing that the neighbors wouldn’t appreciate the noise.
I make my way to the bathroom, hoping that a splash of cold water on my face will ward off my fatigue. I flick on the light and I’m startled by what I see.
I hardly recognize the person staring back at me.
I gaze at my reflection and notice the dark fuzz of hair that’s grown along my jaw. My eyes are encumbered by dark shadows that tell of tales of sleepless nights. My lips are pursed into a permanent grim expression.
When was the last time I smiled?
I turn the cold tap and wait until the water is ice cold. I splash it onto my face and slowly blink my eyes. I look up and the stranger in the mirror is still there.
Mocking me.
I avert my eyes and turn to leave, unable to stand looking at myself any longer.
What have I done?
Who have I become?
Sometimes the feeling of self-disgust is so strong that I feel like crawling out of my own skin.
My eyes fall to the mess on top of the table. Maps, notes and endless dead-end leads are what litter our kitchen table. Not food or fruit or even flowers, but piece after piece of proof that I, Max Evans, am a failure.
It'd be so easy to blame my downfall on one person. To say that it was all her fault.
Her and her big bad mindwarp.
Unfortunately, as much as I'd like for it to be true, it isn’t.
Tess never forced me to sleep with her.
I did it all.
Me, myself and I.
And, now I must face the consequences of my dalliance. The wrath that my indiscretion has caused.
A dead friend.
A neglected girlfriend.
A son who’s been left at the mercy of a heartless witch.
And so I search.
I owe it to him, my son, to give him a chance at life.
A chance to grow up. The opportunity to live a life where he’s not afraid of his own mother.
I want him to be able to experience what I had growing up. To be raised by two caring parents in a safe and loving home…
But to be honest, I don’t really know what I’ll do when I find him.
If I find him.
The possibility of doing so gets bleaker and bleaker every day.
For the past two years I’ve tried not to think about that. It was never a question of if I find him but of when. I’ve tried to keep a positive outlook on my quest but I’m not a natural optimist…
Liz is.
No matter what life's thrown at her, she's always managed to find the good side of things. I’ve been lucky that I’ve had her love and support all these years. However, I suppose even she has her limits.
As the months have passed, the distance between us has gotten bigger and bigger until it’s become a yawning void.
Gone are her words of encouragement.
Her kind whispers of comfort and soft caresses have been replaced by silence and indifference.
It's what's fueled me all these years. Her devotion. The knowledge that she's loved me and cared for me despite all of my faults and failures. The thought that she may no longer love me, that I’ve brought this on myself because of my fixation, hurts me deeper than any physical pain that was ever inflicted on me by Agent Pierce.
I fold the maps and tuck away my notes, trying my best to tidy up our little nook. I grab a glass of water and make my way to our room.
I push the door open ever so slowly, wincing when it creaks.
My gaze falls to the figure lying still on the bed. It’s a cold night and she’s burrowed underneath the covers. The only sign of her existence is the dark shimmer of her hair.
I creep toward the bed and take my place beside her. I cannot see her face but I know that she’s awake.
I reach out my hand wanting to touch her but I hesitate, unsure if my touch is welcome.
I wouldn’t blame her if it weren’t.
I’ve put her through enough shit. Though I try to put myself in her shoes, I'm unable fathom how she can still be with me after all these years.
I love her so much that my heart literally aches from it.
I dip my head close to her pillow and inhale her sweet scent.
My heart.
My soul.
My life.
My Liz.
When her name tumbles from my lips I am powerless to stop it. I whisper it like a sacred vow.
Liz.
She turns unexpectedly and I am suddenly faced with the beauty that is my love. Her features are serene and beatific as the moonlight casts enigmatic shadows on her face.
I yearn to touch her. To feel her soft, supple skin under my fingertips.
Unable to resist it any longer, I lower my head and gently brush my lips against her brow.
She sighs and nestles her body against mine. My heart swells and I feel tears prick my eyes.
I utter the heartfelt pledge I made to her on that cold May night so many years ago…
I love you.
It’s not a statement but a promise. As I hold her warm body close to me, I make a silent oath.
I will cherish and honor this woman till my dying breath.
I rest my head against hers and I close my eyes. I breathe a sigh of contentment as I tighten my arms around her.
And though I lie awake, my heart is at peace. For I have all I've ever needed, ever wanted in this world…
My heart.
My soul.
My life.
My Liz.
The End.
Réveiller: Awaken, M/L ~ Complete ~
Moderators: Anniepoo98, Rowedog, ISLANDGIRL5, Itzstacie, truelovepooh, FSU/MSW-94, Forum Moderators
Réveiller: Awaken, M/L ~ Complete ~
Last edited by Lolita on Wed Nov 19, 2003 10:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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