Roswell Revisited (CC/Teen) Ch 5/6 03/11/08 [WIP]

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Roswell Revisited (CC/Teen) Ch 5/6 03/11/08 [WIP]

Post by suicide_eagle_rath » Tue Dec 12, 2006 12:40 am

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Title:Roswell Revisited: Pilot Episode

Author: suicide_eagle_rath

Rating: Teen (severe sarcasm and harsh language)

Disclaimer: The characters belong to Melinda Metz, Jason Katims, WB and UPN. They are not mine and no infringement intended. I am only attempting to finish a riveting story from one point of view.

Summary: A rolling commentary:

Created and written by Jason Katims co-produced and directed David Nutter the television show “Roswell” is loosely-based on the "Roswell High" series of novels for Junior High school readers.

Author Note: SEVERE SARCASM .. so no complaints or moaning from what you read

Introduction
"Roswell" is basically your first-love romance, a Romeo and Juliet scenario, where the small town girl falls in love with the boy from the other side of the tracks, or in this case universe. The pilot skillfully blends the feminine teenage romantic view of love with the icons of pop culture; fashion, hot bods, and music. Then to make it that unique otherworldly feeling they add the spice sci-fi.

Sounds good! Yeah on the outside but what about the nitty-gritty, what happens when we peel back the mask of innocent 12-year-old romantic Cinderella glazed over brain docu-drama and come heart to heart with the truth?

If your seeking a show that demonstrates superior acting ability continue your search and go somewhere other than TV land. If you come seeking an action packed Sci-fi action drama, please continue your search, Roswell has gaps so big the Enterprise could fly through. And if you are looking for the idea love story also continue your search because the sickening sweet ”love” scenes will make your teeth ache and drive up your dentist bill. However, if you love to delve into a story and root around, Roswell is the perfect feeding ground.

So sit back and enjoy, get ready to have your socks knock off, your dentist bill skyrocket as we climb aboard the train to Roswell, alien sex and all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pilot Episode stats:
Originally aired: Wednesday October 6, 1999 on WB Network
Writer: Jason Katims
Director: David Nutter
Show Stars: Jason Behr (Max Evans), Shiri Appleby (Liz Parker), Katherine Heigl (Isabel Evans), Majandra Delfino (Maria DeLuca), Brendan Fehr (Michael Guerin), Colin Hanks (Alex Whitman), Nick Wechsler (Kyle Valenti), William Sadler (Sheriff Jim Valenti)
Guest Stars: John Doe (Jeff Parker) , Wendle Josepher (Jennifer), Kevin Weisman (Larry Trillin), Vance Valencia (Mayor Sandler), Joe Camareno (Paramedic), Yolanda Lloyd Delgado (Ms. Hardy), Richard Schiff (Agent Stevens), Jonathan Frakes (Countdown Guy), Michael Horse (Deputy Blackwood), Zoe Nutter (Isabel at 7 years old), Daniel Hansen (Max at 7 years old), Channing Carson (Liz at 7 years old)
Production Code: 1ADA79
Last edited by suicide_eagle_rath on Tue Mar 11, 2008 9:14 am, edited 9 times in total.

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Post by suicide_eagle_rath » Tue Dec 12, 2006 12:50 am

WARNING: Severe Sarcasm

Roswell Revisited: Pilot Episode

ROLLING REVIEW COMMENTARY

Chapter 1: Death

Okay, let us start at the beginning, where else. We have Liz sitting on top her “private balcony” cannot allude anymore to Juliet than that. All we need now if for Romeo to compare her to a rose and to climb the trellis, oh but that does happen much later or does it….hummm you never know with the sci-fi atmosphere.

Back to the beginning, Liz is writing in her diary, oh excuse me she has a journal because it is more “scientific” than a diary. Anyway, as she writes you hear her voice "September 23rd. Journal Entry One. I'm Liz Parker and five days ago I died." Sounds like the beginning of a great sci-fi adventure—then things south of the border and not north. Right from the start, inconsistencies are on the rise. More later….

Let’s do the Sci-fi thing and flash back five days, to inside the alien theme Crashdown café owned by Liz’s parents, the Parkers. Liz and her dutiful sidekick Maria as well as some unnamed ponytail male are waiting on the tables. Liz brings over an order for a couple in town for the big Crash festival, Roswell’s equivalent of founder’s day. He is an obvious nerd from the black horned rimmed glasses, to the geeky vest with the Top Secret T-shirt peeking out underneath, to finally the ultimate portable 1999 tech machine in his hands. The girl appears to be a rejected Goth wanna-be devotee whose hair was seared off in a demonic curse, but she retained the black lipstick and fingernail polish and dressed in a really bad sweater coat reminiscent form the 70’s. Believe me I know I had one of those sweater coats, I believe in the same colors.

Feeling sly and devious, Liz decides to play with these weak-minded tourists by handing them a fake alien body picture, of which they are gullible enough to fall for hook, line, and sinker. After the essential, “ooh” and “wow” as if they have stumbled onto area 51, itself, thus being the only ones in the universe to know this secret; Liz seals the deal by saying, "I know about it. And now you know about it." Then she utters the ultimate pharaohonic curse, "Don't show this to anyone." Well duh! That would ruin all the fun, plus “The Examiner” pays big bucks for these authentic alien photos.

While Liz continues to amaze the tourists with her repartee on alien fakery, Maria in a well-orchestrated sub-plot approaches a table with the “Two Angry Beavers”, oops another show, they all look alike, sorry, two rabid subhuman beings that may qualify as males. One can be heard clearly saying "to see the money on the table". Maria asks if they want more coffee only to be spat with, "No. Get outta here" what a surprise comeback. I tell you these two flannel encrusted wannabe rednecks need out to look up ] Larry the Cable Guy for some good old boy put downs……..okay let us continue.

Soon Liz and Maria get to have some bonding time in which Max Evans is brought into the conversation and yes we get a look at him peeking every so slightly at Liz before he ducks his head blushing at being caught. Nevertheless, Liz bemoans that she is dating Kyle and proceeds to describe the perfect poodle, ooops I meant romantic boyfriend. “He's steady and loyal and appreciates me". Now the big question is why would Kyle be seen as a poodle where as Max when described in similar terms as Mr. Wonderful. Go figure…must be an alien thing.

Well as things are bound to happen, Beavis and Butthead, well, they begin to butt heads, “.....you ask me to give you another day. You're running outta time.” Glass goes flying off the table “….I want the money today. Not tomorrow.” A gun is pulled out while most everyone runs for cover.

Please note Max ducks while Liz just stands there staring like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. Where is the extra heroic effort to fling his body on top of her to protect her from the weapon that is being brandished? Oh yeah then he could not later save her… almost forgot duh snacking head….

The gun fires and Liz drops like a shot to the ground, as the two good old boys who are roughhousing on the floor patched up their differences as one yells to the other shouting "come on" and they proceed to run out of the Crashdown in the same direction. Obviously, they are headed to the nearest Cupid Motel where they can patch up their lover’s spat.

Max, despite Michael’s feeble attempt to stop him yells for someone to call an ambulance as he runs for Liz. ….. Hey yo Michael… deck Max, just do it, that will stop him, shaking head no one listens to me sight oh well back to the action…. Maria runs for the corded café beige nondescript phone, rather expected an “ET Phone Home” theme phone here, supposedly calling 911 and not the local times for the movie theater.

Side note: why in the name of the fashion gods is Michael wearing an argyle sweater over a T-shirt in Rowell New Mexico where the average temperature for September is 87 degrees Fahrenheit?

Back to the drama as Max reaches Liz, he dramatically rips open her uniform, not shy there now is he, makes a person wonder just how many uniforms has Max ripped opened. Blood is just beginning to appear—medical phenomenon here—she is shot in the stomach, a gunshot wound does not look that clean. Just ask any 12-year-old gangbanger on the streets and they can tell you what blood looks like and the quantity that will ooze from a belly wound. Fortunately, by the time Isabel is shot in season three, there must be doctor on call who can prescribe a more correct formula so that there is sufficient blood to accommodate a stomach wound.

Max makes the all-important healing connection and we have the first of many such love sick infatuated romantic and touching scenes that Max appears to share with Liz of his visions of when he first sees her. I say this because Max is also shown in the flashes as well as Liz, if it was only through his eyes then why does he see himself. Well as we find out later this is a one-way communication and Max is reaping the benefits.

By now the viewer should had picked up on a major boo boo: Liz never physically DIED. Max needs her conscious to look at him as he heals her. Wonder how many healings he had done prior to this where he was aware of this little I need you to look at me idea. Therefore, the whole premise of the first line of the story is a wash; we will revisit this at the end.

As Liz comes around out of her dazed stupor, Max throws catsup all over her as he announces a little too loudly "You broke the bottle when you fell. You spilled ketchup on yourself. Don't say anything please.” …That’s right, yell a little louder Max the gentleman in the back row did not hear you…..Max gets up and runs out to the jeep as Jennifer looks on with opened mouth.

AND THAT BEGINS ROSWELL


Whoa, the questions and inconsistencies have already begun a true playground for the amateur detective in all of us.
Last edited by suicide_eagle_rath on Tue Mar 11, 2008 9:11 am, edited 3 times in total.

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Post by suicide_eagle_rath » Wed Dec 13, 2006 8:56 am

Thanks Dream Weaver for the feedback
WARNING: Severe Sarcasm


Roswell Revisited: Pilot Episode

ROLLING REVIEW COMMENTARY

Chapter 2: Main Titles/ Lab Test


The next scene, amidst the words announcing who is responsible for this production are flashed across everyone’s chest, begins with Liz explaining what happened to her dad and that she is fine and it is catsup. Yeah sure, the paramedic next to her cannot tell the difference between blood and catsup, let alone the obvious hole in her uniform. Which brings me to a thought, why did not Max clean the blood off her uniform and seal the hole…huh... right forgot we would not have the ill-conceived plot line that follows.

In the background, Deputy Blackwood is interrogating Maria who is behaving like a wacky no brain teenage valley girl sniffing her prescribed cedar oil. Then the mood changes as evil enters their presence, the sheriff walks in coolly, majestically in his shades and stoic disposition. The whole café trembles with fright, okay maybe not but Sheriff Jim Valenti’s entrance is dramatic.

Deputy Blackwood reviews the facts with the sheriff, "The suspects ran out right after the incident occurred. A couple of outsiders. There's no apparent robbery, no injuries other than the girl that fell. Just seems like an argument that got out of hand." Open-and-shut case! Let us go home open a six-pack, put the feet up and watch WWF. Therefore, in Roswell do they just slap the good old boys on the wrist and tell them next time to aim upwards. A gun was fired, in a public location, putting lives at risk; also, a bullet is lodge somewhere. Hello,…a crime was committed. I’ll bet that Jimmy Hoffa is probably buried in full view with a stature dedicated to him and the cocaine train pulls right though town at noon with announced stops.

The stupidest part of the supposed investigation is the whole dialogue and scene with Larry showing the sheriff where the gunman was firing and that they found no bullets, damn Mrs. Fletcher has returnth, next we should see Amos come rambling in with the Doc. Then a dramatic pause as Larry pulls out the fake photo, absolute proof that this was a rogue government plot set up to kill Liz. Where were the other 20 or more witnesses and the fact that not one of the many adults came forward to see what was going on and let a teenager handle a potentially fatale gunshot victim. Please…even Michael could not hold them all back.

Then we get another dramatic pause as the sheriff stops to examine two Tabasco bottles on a table. Yes, that is a clue, for nowhere in the southwest would you find two empty bottles of Tabasco on a café table. In an attempt to counteract the accusations made by Jennifer and Larry that the boys sitting at that table with the suspected Tabasco bottles knew her, Liz lied big time: “See me, see this innocent face… I am lying like a dog about this. The boy was Max Evans and he ripped my clothes off before healing me….”

The scenes changes as Liz retires upstairs where she examines the bullet hole then stuffs it, blood, catsup and all, into her school backpack—perfect hiding place. Then she returns to the mirror where by some mysterious act a silver handprint has appeared between the times she took off her dress and turned around to look into the mirror. Notice the horror and shock on her face…that’s right another bland stare. Where is the shower scene where she attempts in vain scrubs off the “paint”, she simply accepts that she now has this surreal mark on her body? Where are the screams of horror or at least some emotion?

And where does that lead us to Bio class of course with Ms Hardy….Now why does Max run to the bathroom since the teacher hands the toothpick to Liz as she is right he would had been vegetable. Oh almost forgot that is because the scene needed to show he is an ALIEN. Therefore, he leaves the pencil that was in his mouth against his cheek, to be made available for Liz to examine.

Liz checks out her cheek cells (would it be that hard to show a sample of real cheek cell). It is clean, nice and red. So then, she sneakily takes Max’s pencil and checks out his cells. Does she suspect something is not quite kosher? Does she suspect he is non-human? I would had thought a psychic healer.... but nah that is too common. She looks, adjusts the microscope and .....Wow!! They are different cells entirely. Could not have anything to do with the fact she used two solutions on his and only one on hers could it. And yes we have it absolute proof: GREEN non-human epithelial cells.

Basic science would dictate that the alien blood supply must be a hemoglobin carrier since Max appears to be breathing oxygen without signs of hypoxia. Therefore, the difference would have to be in surface molecules and not in the color as the color as the difference is indicating. No further comments on science, but surely how much would it had cost to double check with a professor at the local university?

Liz is convinced that something is odd about Max, not due to the fact he healed a gunshot wound, made a bullet vanish, or even the silver hand tattoo that now graces her belly, no it is those damn aberrant cheek cells that gave him away. So what is Max.. Liz id off to find out.

WARNING: Severe Sarcasm

Roswell Revisited: Pilot Episode

ROLLING REVIEW COMMENTARY

Chapter 3 – Not of this Earth
The bell rings and Liz chases Max down. Didn’t he ever come back to class, just where was he, in the eraser room and with whom? Anyway, she practically drags him into the music room, which obviously is never in use. only to be confronted by the earring clad Kyle playing the tympanies. Instead of turning around and leaving quietly and finding another more private location Liz yells out “Kyle” as he turns around in his father’s borrowed shades.

Kyle gives Max the “what the fuck are you doing with my woman” look as he coyly asks Liz if she got his message. Kyle “buys” the we are looking for a place to study for our bio mid-term in September when school just started, plus does a library ring a bell for studying. Kyle is not fooled one bit, just look at that annoyed “my girlfriend is sneaking around on me” look as he pouts and scurries off like a good poodle.

Then we get the classic line from Max, “So...you're going out with the Sheriff's son?” Hint Max keep your mouth shut—sheriff is the enemy – girl is dating said son… no one is listening here are they…alas. Liz brushes off poor Kyle who she has been lip locking and sliding into second base with all summer, with the “it’s only casual” comment.

Now Liz has this very distinctive ilver mark on her tummy and she wears a shirt that if she raises her hand in class will reveal all—real smart there Liz. Anyway, she slowly and seductively lifts up her shirt to show the mark to Max and he looks surprised, never healed anyone before? On the other hand, do just humans get silver marks? Check out Max’s face, the poor guy just got a hard on looking at her luscious stomach, guess he forgot he had an eyeful the day before. And all he can say is “Wow”.

Then she explains the abnormal skin cells because those are more miraculous remember than that healing, the room issuddenly bathed in celestial light, glowing heavenly angels singing on high as Max points heavenwards. Liz then utters those immortal words, “You're not an -- an alien -- are you?" while Max responds: "I prefer the term ‘not of this earth.’" Of course, he is an alien look at the light, look at the glowing ears, look at the invisible antennae….

Liz freaks on out in a very calm and collected manner by attempting to leave, but Max intercepts her and warns her before she escapes, "Liz, listen to me. You can't talk to anyone about this. Not your parents, not Maria, no one. You don't understand what will happen if you do. Liz, please, my life is in your hands." Max… Max… Max… did I not warn you to keep your mouth shut? This has to be one of Max’s best moment, you can almost feel there is something hidden just beneath the surface: the need to be obeyed, anger, you will do as I say feeling. A true alien moment…... Kodak please.
Last edited by suicide_eagle_rath on Sun Feb 17, 2008 1:53 am, edited 3 times in total.

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Re: Roswell Revisited (CC/Teen) A/N 12/19/07

Post by suicide_eagle_rath » Sat Jan 12, 2008 10:12 pm

WARNING: Severe Sarcasm

Roswell Revisited: Pilot Episode

ROLLING REVIEW COMMENTARY

Chapter 4 -One Random Act

Enter Chapter 4 as the wacky sidekick Maria dressed in some weird India print shirt discusses with Alex the events of yesterday in a school cafeteria (?) as demonstrated in the headlines of the Roswell Daily Review. The shooting at least got top billing there if not with the sheriff. Maria is going on and on about how Liz is ignoring her. Oh this is the first time we get wind of Pam Troy for you trivia buffs out there.

Then we cut to the outdoor alien inspired taco stand with senior "Alien in el sombrero" gracing the roofline. The radio blaring from the loudspeakers informs us of the big Crash Festival. Note large GREEN sign on Bulletin board . Love the pinup notices we have a 72 Vega classic with A/C, a roommate wanted only 350 a month, a missing desert tortoise, a lost tabby cat, and a lost yellow Lab. Hummm missing, aliens or more like alligators, oops wrong state but would that really matter to our detail-challenged writers.

Finally, we get to see the aliens in their glory as Isabel enters the picture raking Max over the coals for breaking the rules, rules they concocted between the three of the tem. Secrets, they have secrets between them, secrets I like secrets, this could be good. Isabel in one of her finniest moment gets Max with "I can't believe this Max. You know, I finally feel like I have a quasi-normal existence and you go and blow it all with one random act of lunacy." Look at the guilt already radiating from him. Michael on the other hand is drowning his food in that damn Tabasco "Blue's clue" sauce as Isabel then does the where you routine. "How did you let my misguided brother do this?" Yeah Michael, hit him knock him out and we would be done with the show already…No then there would not be all the fun for the last few years on the internet.

Now we have the relationship established Max is Isabel's brother and what is Michael, obviously not related to them. Michael takes the defense and claims non-superhero status while Max barks out, "Look, I said I was sorry." Problem solved, Max is sorry.

But life is not as forgiving with Isabel's comeback," You're sorry? You break a sacred pact and that's all you have to say?" Max without thought did place Isabel, Michael and himself in danger. In fact, their whole existence in a hyperactive alien hunter paradise is precarious. It would be equivalent to Salman Rushdie appearing in the middle of an Iranian square while reading aloud selected of the Satanic Verses in the early 1990's. Really they should had left for Oregon years ago.

As Isabel recreationally warms up her taco-like-food subsistence, she mentions having to contain the situation. Of course then the shit hits the fan, look at Max's face "GUILTY AS CHARGED". "Oh my God, you told her." Max retorts I didn't have a choice. It's gonna be okay." That is right he did not have a chance Liz was twisting his arm, forcing him into a corner. Max learn to "LIE" and get a poker face, something that does not scream "GULITY ALIEN".

Isabel suddenly seeing her perfect little mall shopping experienced teenage life existence coming to an early death as it flashes before her eyes. She spouts off "Don't you realize that everything has changed." And the comeback "No, it hasn't." … oooh the understatement of the century Max, old boy. Yes, it has changed, you told a human the big secret, you sacrificed your only "family", and you broke the "sacred" pact.

Michael throws down his napkin and gets up "It's time to leave Roswell." Obviously, they had discussed leaving Roswell one day and knew time would come. Therefore, when Michael says the time has come why the "but Roswell is my home" speech. Ah, that is because we are now getting the background information. Max and Isabel were adopted by the Evans, "real parents" being found on the side of the road. A loving family in comparison to the "paid for services" that Michael's foster father has provided.

Michael's right in his rhetoric, Max and Isabel have more tying them to Roswell than the renegade bad boy Michael does. Max drops his head, as he feels once again guilty for what Michael has to endure. The Pilot should have been renamed "Guilt and more Guilt will it ever end…."

Max proposes they go back to school and "act normal." Isabel counters that stupid idea with "a matter of time before they find us". Ironic or just plain twisted concerning the scene as they head back to school: a jeep full of aliens driving on a deserted desert highway, fearing of being anally probed by mysterious government forces. Classic.

We are now beamed over the school where we see Liz having a close encounter wit Maria in the bathroom. Maria provides evidence of the gunshot with an order book she pulls out of her bag still sticky with blood as she asks "What did Max do to you?" Liz walks away but we can clearly see what she is thinking "….he ripped my clothes off before healing me…. and then…."

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Re: Roswell Revisited (CC/Teen) Ch 4 01/12/08

Post by suicide_eagle_rath » Tue Mar 11, 2008 8:56 am

dusk wrote:oh, yeah, and loving it :mrgreen:
Thanks…
stinebiene wrote:this is just great!!! Tine
Thank You
Bloody Crow wrote:I wonder suicide_eagle_rath have ever been to Television Without Mercy?
No, I have not seen Television Without Mercy? What station is it on.
Bloody Crow wrote: I have never seen a dead and buried fic being moved to back to an active board. I guess some authors just find time to finish what they have started. [/b]
I try to finish what I am working on …. actually there are three of these episodes done. I would like to do the whole series… I can get terribly sarcastic when I watch shows…. pick out all the faults.. commenting on them all the time .. wonder why no one ever watches TV with me …lol
Bloody Crow wrote:Yo're mercilessly dissecting the bundle of plotholes and logical lapses that was Roswell. You're destroying my fantasy, but strangly I'm feeling catharsis instead feeling betrayal. You're awesome!
lol a little cleansing is always good for the soul… thanks


WARNING: Severe Sarcasm

Roswell Revisited: Pilot Episode

ROLLING REVIEW COMMENTARY

Chapter 5: A New Ballgame
Suddenly we are back in the alien jeep (affectionaly know as Bob in the world of Roswell fan fiction) where Isabel is tuning out the boys listens to a CD without the aid of an electronic device. Michael is busy finishing lunch as he consumes a Tabasco covered Hershey Bar. Just as Max utters the defense, "I couldn't just let her die," police sirens blare behind them. Michael urges, "Max go, let's get outta here." Max replies, "We can't start acting guilty." Guilty!!!! See even Max admits he is guilty, guilty as charged. Case closed.

Out of the patrol car steps none other than the evil Sheriff Valenti veiled in the ever presence shades. I love those shades... reminds me of my disco days.. sigh.. Oh sorry back to review. After a brief license check, Valenti informs them of the Crashdown incident WHY? It was a tiff between lovers, remember nothing to worry about. Now get real, how many times does a cop tell just anyone about an ongoign investigation. Oh right TV SHOW. Then the sheriff spies a CLUE. He sees the Tabasco sauce clue (that is the second clue, one more and we can go to the "Thinking Chair") and now he knows they are involved….the jig is up. However, the sheriff is cool as he lets the "evil planet stealing aliens" leave so that he can contact the proper authorities, as we shall soon see.

Michael is pissed he hops out of the Jeep, "Our cover is blown." He storms off after reminding Max about the fate of everyone else on the ship, "What happened to everybody else on the ship? They were killed, and you know that" ...hmmm fanciful speculation or any piece of information that is never delved to us.

The final blow come where Michael inquires what Liz's reaction was, "Great, you're an alien, that's fantastic. Excellent." NOT. Isabel muffles a smirk as she gives the final uppercut, "Thought I was pissed."

We finish this chapter with Kyle walking Liz home after a date that evening. He notes that she was been elsewhere all night-yeah still high from that alien connection, sorry Kyle you are sunk. As she excuses herself to go off to bed she then reaches up to turn off a light in the most ridiculous spot available, and once again that short shirt rides up….Liz did not I tell you to wear something more modest longer, much much longer. You have an alien "tattoo" thingy on your stomach… no one ever listens to me….alas. Kyle just looks and says goodnight… whoa where is the "what the hell is that" comment that would have blurted out of even the most inbred redneck's mouth. However, Kyle like the good poodle he is walks off quietly.

WARNING: Severe Sarcasm

Roswell Revisited: Pilot Episode

ROLLING REVIEW COMMENTARY

Chapter 6: Connections
The next chapter opens as we again find Liz on her balcony when Max appears on the street below. (Oh Romeo.. Oh Romero … oh sad-d-o ) We now know her balcony overlooks the street and not the alley or does it…. things are never as they appear in the every fluid changing set design of Roswelldom.

"I have to talk to you." It is night and she is alone, so is Liz far less scared than she was in the school full of people because she lets him into the deserted café. It is obvious she has never seen an alien Sci-fi movie; they always get the pretty young girl in the deserted building.

In the course of the conversation, we find out that she wore the infamous cupcake dress in kindergarten and she did not meet Max until the 3rd grade. Interesting because that is the same time Michael is reunited with the Max and Isabel. So where were the three aliens in 1st and 2nd grades?

Then it dawns on her-"Did you read my mind or something?" Max comes back "I don't read minds." Then Max just has to give her more information about his alien status… did not Michael and Isabel warn you … Max …hello… MAX…alas.

Instead of I want you to know I am not dangerous speech, which I would be expecting from an alien who may be sizing me up for dinner or that infamous anal probe thingy. He decides to show her "that I'm still me," Max takes his hands in a classical Vulcan mind probe stance and places them at each side of her head. "I have to touch you." Damn, that is a great pick up line. He then proceeds to invade her mind (early mind warp here folks) and implant memories from himself. Sounds like reading minds to me, Kreskin where are you when we need you.

"Now just take deep breaths and try to let your mind blank out." yeah that is an old Frat boy trick, good job Max I feel much calmer and relaxed. Then the TV viewing audience is bombarded with the rush of romantic music, the flush of Liz's voice as she is mesmerized by his feelings for her, the sickly sweet first love taffy that fill your teeth and finally the question that is haunting everyone's mind: Did it work?" WTF?? You did not test this theory before putting into play; you could have fried her brain. Shaking head….

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