I'm Happy (CC M/L Mature) 1 of 1 1/1/07

[rie482]

Title: I'm Happy
Author: Rie482
Couple: CC Max and Liz.
Rating: Mature
Disclaimer: I don't own it, so don't sue me
Summary: Answering a question I needed answered. How? When?
Author's note: This was orginally for the write on birthday challenge... and thought I'd share.


“I can't tell much more than that. It wouldn't be safe, for you or for us. I can tell you that we're far away, and that we're all trying to avoid the law and do good in the world Oh, and I guess I should tell you that... Max and I did eventually tie the knot.”
He’s watching me from across the room like he has been all day. We all know it’s nothing new, he’s always watching me, but today there is something different in his eyes. It’s excited, yet worried all at once and I have no idea why. If I had the energy I would tickle it out of him but I don’t; I don’t have any energy to do anything else any more.

I sigh slightly as I shuffle across the room back towards the booth where the group are sat all looking like life has been dragged, kicked and beaten out of them. They are vary, their eyes lowered onto the table staring at their small little plates of food that looks almost healthier than they do. I see a tear escape from under Maria’s lashes as she looks down at her thin, white and cracked hands, the exhaustion of travel taking its toll mentally and physically. She’s not the only one that seems to almost be breaking down at the seams. I catch my reflection in the mirror opposite and almost want to run for the toilets and hide away for the rest of my miserable days. It’s been a hard few weeks and now it’s suddenly just hit us like a ton of bricks.

This isn't just a fun little holiday any more, no longer a road trip with no real meaning accept to merely live. We are being chased by the FBI. We left everything and everyone behind in Roswell; for a bloody van and we are plain simple nothing any more.

His hand slips over onto mine and I look up at him under my lashes, finally managing a smile at his loving expression. My mood lifts slightly for a moment as I feel a small feeling of hope and love filling my chest, but it sinks again as I look over at the people around me.

I just want to cry here and now. It’s all too fucking much and I cannot take it any more. I wanna kick, scream and kill something just so I feel a bit better amongst all this.

But I don’t. I don't dare because I know if I did, no one would have any hope left at all. Let’s face it, if me and Max don't have hope, no one else does so I have to appear like I do.

Max knows all this, it’s written in the way his hold has just tightened on my hand. I look up at him and I can see the worry behind those eyes. I love this man; I really do for the way in which he constantly worries about me. I sound sick but it’s true. It’s one of those things that make you feel better when you know that someone is worrying about you. Makes you feel loved and wanted. It’s selfish but I like it.

He caresses my cheek for a moment then stands up, my hand still in his. I look up at him questioningly whilst everyone else ignores us. “Come on.” He says quietly and with that I stand up, questioning what the hell is going on. “We’ll be back soon.” Is all he says to the group and we are off out the door towards the van.

*****

We are driving now, just driving with what looks like no real purpose; a wandering that I have gotten used to over the months. I look over at Max and see that his eyes are completely focused on the road in front of him, his grip on the wheel steady and even. He hasn't spoken since we got into the van without the others. There's this tension, well, not a tension but a feeling, that just tells me that I shouldn't ask where we are going. But I can't help it. I'm Elizabeth Parker – scientist and complete nosey parker.

“Where are we going, Max?” I ask him a tone in my voice that tells him I need to know the answer. Usually I wouldn't care where we were going as long as it was just the two of us. I'd usually revel in it but today there is something different. “Are we just going to leave the others behind?”

There is silence for a moment as I see Max look at me in the corner of my eye. “Do you know what day it is today?” He asks me softly, cautiously.

I blink for a second cos lets face it, that wasn't the answer I was expecting. But I see that he is genuinely asking me what day it is so I look at my watch and reply in a monotone; “November 19th.”

There's more silence as he looks at me again. This time it's as if he is waiting for me to realise something, but what's so important about November 19th?

Oh yeah.

It's my birthday.

I look over again at him, but this time with tears in my eyes. I had completely and utterly forgotten about my birthday, the one day of the year that I'd go crazy about; singing songs about it was only my birthday in 3 weeks, 2 weeks, 1 week, two days, three hours away. The one day of my life that I love so much and I had completely forgotten about it. I hadn't even had the slightest thought towards it since I left Roswell New Mexico in the back of this bloody broken down van.

He pulls over now and instantly his arms are around me, crushing me into his chest as if he wants to pull me into his body. “Shh.” He whispers into my hair as I sob heavily into his chest. “It's ok.”

“How?” I cry into his black shirt. “How is it ok that I had forgotten even my birthday?”

“Because we have have each other.”

I smile slightly at the way he says this, because in all reality it is true. We have each other, so it's okay. But it still doesn't stop the pain that is searing itself through my chest at the mere thought that I'm not at home for my birthday. I'm not surrounded by my whole family. I have Max and my friends, but I don't have my parents waking me up with chocolate covered pancakes in the morning. This morning I didn't wake up in my large bed, a smile plastered over my bed as I notice the balloons waiting for me at the foot of my bed, my mother stood in the doorway with my favourite tray of goodies.

I didn't open any presents this morning.

“I want to go home.” I whisper into his shirt as I sob.

I feel him tense and I know what he'd usually say about it, but he doesn't. He doesn't need to tell me we can't, he knows it's just a thought; a longing for a past we just cannot have any more. We all have our moments of longing, and this is just another one of those moments.

“You know you're my home, don't you?” He whispers into my ear.
I push myself backwards a bit so I can look him the eye. “Of course I do. You're my home too.”

He smiles at me as he cups my cheek to thumb away a stray tear. “Good, because I have a present for you.”

This gets my attention and my heart is racing with the childish excitement I always feel when anyone mentions giving of presents. “Really?” I ask him, the tears stopping.

“Where?” I question him as I frantically look around the van, wondering where he could have hidden it from me.

He nods his head slightly.

“Where?”

He does it again and I don't realise he's trying to indicate something to me. I still don't get where he's pointing, so he leans across and taking my chin with his hands he turns my head round until I'm facing out the window. My mouth drops open.

He gets out the van, running round to my seat where he opens the door. He takes my hand and I slowly step out into the bright sun light; my eyes still focused on the church in front of me.

“What are we doing here, Max?” I ask quietly.

He leads me round the side into a small garden that's round the side and leads me down to a seat that lies at the bottom of it. It looks completely and utterly untouched my life; the rose bushes wild and the birds flying around freely. Sitting me down he seats himself beside me, never letting my hand go until he is by my side.

“Max?” I whisper gently.

“When we left Roswell I wasn't really thinking about anything else other than you. Whether you'd be safe, whether I should just leave you behind so you could carry on your life without this.”

“Max.” I say in horror, but his finger falls on to my lips and I fall silent.

“But I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave you because I'd be leaving a part of myself. But it didn't stop me from worrying about you. The way you'd be leaving your parents, your education, friends and more behind just for me; someone who isn't even human. I knew that this would break you, and it's starting to. There has been no happiness, no joy for so long. I've been wanting to take your pain away for so long but I just haven't known how until now. Until the other day when I realised that today had to be the day that, for once, for one happy day, I'd make your face light up with your beautiful smile.”

I look at him puzzled until he lifts himself from his seat and stands before me. Taking my hand again he slowly kneels on the floor before me, his eyes locked with mine as he does so. “Elizabeth Parker, will you marry me?”

I laugh lightly. “You've already asked me that and I've, you know, already said yes.” I playfully slap his hand.

“Today.”

“What?” I eyes bulge out of my head in shock and excitement.

“Right now.”

I sit there, my mouth hanging open in complete and utter surprise. All time seems to stop completely, the birds flying in mid air moving their wings just a bit. It's in this moment as I stare deep into his chocolate eyes that I realize that my heart has calmed, my mind already made up.
Suddenly time seems to move at a normal pace now and I move forward and whisper, “Yes,” as I throw myself into his arms. “Yes” I reply, the smile returning to my lips. A smile Max wanted to make happen for this one day; for once. “Yes. Yes.”

“Come on then you guys.” Maria’s voice pierces the silence of the moment. I llook at her over Max’s shoulder to see her beaming at me, holding a bag.

“You really did plan this didn’t you?” I say excited and happy as I move out his arms and stand up from the floor.

“Of course.” He says as he brings his hand to my cheek. “I want to make you happy. Truly happy. I want to marry Liz, right here, right now.”

******

I’m stood at the aisle, looking down it taking in the yellow rose petals that are scattered on the floor and that rest on the end of the many pews. People stood looking back at me. I am standing there, tears in my eyes and feeling like the most beautiful woman in the world. It has nothing to do with the way my flowers are sitting perfectly in my hair, or my white gypsy top and skirt that are fitted perfectly to my body. It has nothing to do with my make up looking great.

It has everything to do with the fact the man at the bottom of that aisle is staring at me as if I am his whole world. As if there is no other woman in this universe that could ever compare. My heart skips a beat as his gaze is unfazed as I move towards him, the music played by the organ enchanting everyone.

I don’t hear the words; I don’t hear my words as I speak them. I’ve fallen, fallen into his gaze, the tearful gaze that just screams that he loves me. He loves me and there is nothing that could ever, ever, ever change that. My heart feels like it’s going to burst with the sheer happiness that I feel right now, the love taking over as he holds my hand and slides on the ring that will for ever bind us to one another. All I can feel is the way his hand trembles as he holds mine.

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Then that's all it takes for me to fall forever, into his lips, into his soul. It's that moment I realize that I am his and I will forever be his; happily ever after.

We run out of the church like school children, innocent and loved up to the eye balls once again. I'm happy, I'll admit it I am bloody happy as rose petals are falling all around us; smiles on our faces and placing kisses to each others lips. I didn't think that after feeling such despair this morning, I'd be happy. It's safe to say that as I run into the van, slamming the door behind me, Max really has made me happy today. Today on my birthday.

“So, that's the end of our life in Roswell. What a long strange trip it's been. Will we ever go back? I don't know... even I can't see everything in the future. All I know is I'm Liz Parker and I'm happy.”