Scars of White (AA, CC, MATURE) Part 66 edited + Part 67 1/9/25 (WIP)
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Re: Scars of White (AA, CC, MATURE) Part 66 7/15 (WIP)
Merry Christmas!
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behrinthecity
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Re: Scars of White (AA, CC, MATURE) Part 66 7/15 (WIP)
Merry Christmas to you as well!! 
Wishing everyone a safe, cheerful, and healthy end of the year! Best wishes for 2025!
Be on the lookout for updates soon- including finally editing typos and missing lines in the last part. Typing the story on a phone has become so error prone.
Wishing everyone a safe, cheerful, and healthy end of the year! Best wishes for 2025!
Be on the lookout for updates soon- including finally editing typos and missing lines in the last part. Typing the story on a phone has become so error prone.
Re: Scars of White (AA, CC, MATURE) Part 66 7/15 (WIP)
behrinthecity wrote: ↑Wed Dec 25, 2024 9:05 am Merry Christmas to you as well!!
Wishing everyone a safe, cheerful, and healthy end of the year! Best wishes for 2025!
Be on the lookout for updates soon- including finally editing typos and missing lines in the last part. Typing the story on a phone has become so error prone.
Same to you! I can’t believe that you are writing the store on your phone! Wow!
Anyway, I can’t wait to read more. Cheers
I have a few dreamer challenges in mind if you are looking for ideas so pm me!
Re: Scars of White (AA, CC, MATURE) Part 66 7/15 (WIP)
Happy new year!
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behrinthecity
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Re: Scars of White (AA, CC, MATURE) Part 66 7/15 (WIP)
Happy new year!
Mini a/n: I've revised part 66, so that it sets up 67 better.
As it's really late, and I'm still fighting the last remnants of a bad cold I'll get part 67 up tomorrow.
Hope all is well with you all. Also, if any of my readers are in SoCal-- stay safe. Keeping you in my prayers.
Mini a/n: I've revised part 66, so that it sets up 67 better.
As it's really late, and I'm still fighting the last remnants of a bad cold I'll get part 67 up tomorrow.
Hope all is well with you all. Also, if any of my readers are in SoCal-- stay safe. Keeping you in my prayers.
Re: Scars of White (AA, CC, MATURE) Part 66 edited + a/n 1/8/25 (WIP)
Happy new year!! 
Sorry I'm so late for reading chapter 65 and 66!
For chapter 65, I loved the fact that we got a chapter centered around Isabel. I hope that Cal will be able to get in contact with Jesse soon... The scene about Is, her mom, and the toy house was so beautiful, I almost cried when Isabel told Diane that she wanted her to see one of her most precious memories - that Diane was the sun when she first saw her. That was very touching.
For chapter 66, I felt heartbroken about the fact that Max thought he was back in the white room and that his reality was a lie. I'm so glad that Isabel and Diane came to wake him up, that must have been so frightening for him. And of course, Zan is wrong about Isabel, I can't believe Max has the trauma of the white room and Zan's voice telling him things to confuse him too. Poor him.
I can't wait for the next part!
Sorry I'm so late for reading chapter 65 and 66! For chapter 65, I loved the fact that we got a chapter centered around Isabel. I hope that Cal will be able to get in contact with Jesse soon... The scene about Is, her mom, and the toy house was so beautiful, I almost cried when Isabel told Diane that she wanted her to see one of her most precious memories - that Diane was the sun when she first saw her. That was very touching.
For chapter 66, I felt heartbroken about the fact that Max thought he was back in the white room and that his reality was a lie. I'm so glad that Isabel and Diane came to wake him up, that must have been so frightening for him. And of course, Zan is wrong about Isabel, I can't believe Max has the trauma of the white room and Zan's voice telling him things to confuse him too. Poor him.
I can't wait for the next part!
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behrinthecity
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- Joined: Fri Aug 20, 2004 11:14 pm
Re: Scars of White (AA, CC, MATURE) Part 66 edited + a/n 1/8/25 (WIP)
Hi all!
I present Part 67. As requested, it definitely has some dreamer moments. It actually got so long, I'm moving the second part of what I plannrd to part 68, which I'll need a little time to clean up before also posting. The revision to Part 66 will connect more to that portion, but do please read those changes that were posted yesterday.
Responses to your lovely messages will be posted separately.
For those or their loved ones in SoCal, praying for your safety. Take care.
As this continues directly after Part 66 there are no previouslys.
PART SIXTY-SEVEN
As Diane followed her children through Max’s room, she kept pace slow and measured to observe them better.
Isabel's forced chipperness was a familiar tactic by her to hide whatever was bothering her. But her earlier shaky voice over Max not responding to her calls revealed there was something the kids weren’t sharing with her about Max.
At that time she had focused on taking control and calming Isabel down.
But the lost confusion in Max’s voice after he opened his eyes tore at her heart. Even when he would wake up crying in the first year of adopting him and Isabel, he had been aware of his surroundings and had a confident grip on reality.
How many lies had those monsters told him?
She knew one was about her and Phillip being in an accident. She could only assume they had told Max similar fates for the others.
Releasing a silent sigh, her forlorn gaze zeroed in on Max. She noticed his steps were slightly shaky as if his balance was off. Perhaps Amy could teach him some yoga, she mused. Seeing the tension in both her children’s shoulders and feeling her own stiff muscles, she decided that they all could benefit from it.
Passing the bed, Max's foot hit the corner causing him to stumble. In a flash, Diane was at his side to catch and steady him.
“Thanks, Mom.”
Max’s voice was soft and sincere. He ducked his head to hide his embarrassment, but Diane saw his cheeks start to redden.
She was quick to remind him, “that’s what I’m here for.”
Max tilted his head shyly in acknowledgement.
For a moment he seemed to sink into her embrace, but just as his back met her chest, the door opened.
Immediately, Max was taut. He seemed to struggle between shrinking into himself and holding his back fully straight. Diane held him steady by the arms and murmured, “you’re safe, honey. I’ve got you.”
Max released a ragged breath and nodded tightly.
Diane’s eyebrows scrunched with concern at the tiny tremors thrumming beneath her hands.
But in the next instant they suddenly vanished.
“Max,” Liz called out with sheer relief. Upon seeing Isabel and Mrs. Evans’ raised eyebrows and bemused expressions, Liz looked abashed and murmured an apology for interrupting.
Max now standing upright sported a lopsided smile. He nervously rubbed the back of his head to smooth down his wind-swept hair. Once done, he sighed happily, “Liz.”
Meeting Isabel's gaze Diane noticed her daughter's lips quirking as she attempted to stifle her laugh.
Seeing the change in Max's stature and her daughter’s mirth warmed Diane’s heart.
Phillip’s suggestion to let Liz share the room with Max was wise after all. She could clearly see the positive effect Liz had on Max.
She had to remind herself what she had told Isabel this morning: it had only been three days since they reached. Three days since she finally could hold her children in her arms.
For a year she had been haunted by that faceless corpse of her ‘alleged’ son. Seeing Max alive and intact helped to keep that memory at bay.
But those agents had lied, manipulated, and forced Max to accept a lonely and violent existence. Diane couldn’t begin to imagine what torment her son saw every time he closed his eyes.
She was amazed and beyond thankful that he had survived. But they needed to remember that it hadn’t even been two weeks since Max had been rescued.
She took a deep breath. Cal assured them they had time. Time to heal and be together. As she advised her daughter this morning, no need to fret. Slowly but surely, they would help convince Max of what was real.
And judging by the past few moments, Liz would be central to that.
She appraised Liz seeing how much she cared for her son. She recalled her supporting Max when he gave up Zan.
Remembering all that she’d learned about what the kids had faced over the years, she smiled warmly at Liz.
She decided she would make a point to have a heart to heart with her future daughter in law.
Addressing Liz, Diane offered, “hello, dear. I was about to make some hot chocolate— would you care to join us?”
Liz smiled and agreed, “that sounds wonderful. Thank you so much, Mrs. Evans.”
Appreciative of Liz’s manners, Diane smiled benignly. Wanting to start on a less formal footing she corrected, “Diane, please.”
Politely nodding, Liz remarked, “meet you down in a few minutes. I'm just going to change clothes.”
Accepting the reason with a nod, Diane took one last glance at Max. The change in him was truly remarkable. He stood steadily with nary a shake.
With a light pat on his shoulder, she nonverbally indicated that she would go ahead first.
She turned once more to Isabel who was quietly speaking to Liz. After a moment, she caught Isabel’s eye and gestured for her to join her.
Receiving a nod, she headed towards the door with one last glance at her son.
His reassuring smile and nod was enough to quiet her fears.
~ ~ ~
Once the door closed, Max turned to Liz, an apology already spilling from his lips. “Sorry I missed the game—”
He broke off, suddenly bereft for words. Having undid her ponytail, Liz’s damp tousled hair entranced him.
She looked radiant.
Heart thumping rapidly, his tongue darted out to wet his lips.
There was a touch of pink to her cheeks under his intense gaze. She self-consciously tugged at her hair to smooth it back into place.
Stepping closer, Max asked, “may I?”
Blushing profusely, Liz acquiesced with a shy nod.
Nimbly combing his fingers through her hair, he untangled and dried the damp strands.
“Better,” he asked in a low murmur.
Liz’s breath hitched. Biting her lip, her eyes shone with a secret delight as she nodded mutely.
The tiniest smirk pulled at the corner of his lip. Suddenly feeling hot, he tugged at the neck of his sweater.
He could almost convince himself that he was back at the Crash Festival admiring her body-hugging outfit, exhilarated by her smile, and completely lost in her eyes. Until he noticed a hair loop encroaching upon her face by her eye—
you had a… hair thing
He had wanted to kiss her so badly at that time.
Liz opened her mouth as if to speak but within that breath he captured her lips in a soul searing kiss.
His hands cupped her face as he seized the chance to rectify his past hesitancy.
He was resolute in showing her that he wouldn’t waste anymore time.
All these years he had held himself back because of the fear of being captured like that rubber alien in the UFO Museum exhibit.
But that had happened. Twice.
And he survived.
Whether he was truly rescued didn't matter to him at the moment. Kissing Liz was always an unbelievable dream to him.
Though he was reluctant to end the kiss, he stopped long enough for them to catch their breath. He rested his forehead against hers.
His eyes closed as he gulped down another breath; all the while he awaited her response.
“Max?”
“Yeah,” he answered softly; his eyes still closed.
“Max.”
He opened his eyes confused at the urgent tone bleeding into Liz’s repetition of his name.
He was disconcerted to see Liz was not in his arms.
Rather, she held him steady at arm’s length. Her expression was perturbed with her eyebrows furrowed and mouth drawn into a tight frown.
Needing to allay her concern he asked, "what's wrong?"
The mix of emotions on her face—part bemused relief and part deep concern still—only added to his confusion.
Shaking her head, she remarked, "were you able to get any rest?"
"Yeah..." he quietly answered. He looked down at his hands to avoid her astute gaze.
Feeling her rub his arm a bit, he dragged his head up to face her. His earlier feeling of unease returned as he saw no evidence of their passionate kiss.
In a hushed voice, Liz asked, "was it a flashback?"
He closed his eyes in disappointed resignation. Reopening his eyes, he looked to the side expecting an agent clad in a white hazmat suit.
"Come on, Max. Why don't you sit on the bed while I change?"
Refocusing on Liz. He saw her gentle kindness. It was one of the first things that attracted him to her on the playground in third grade. Her sweetness and pure soul sparkled in the morning light. All he could do was watch enraptured.
Looking at her now, he was similarly in awe. His battered mind still held onto his fear that this reprieve would soon be over and that he would be surrounded by pain and scorn once more. But as her beautiful face remained before him, the desperate hope in his heart urged him to agree.
Not trusting his voice, he nodded.
In moments, she led him to sit on the bed. With a quick peck on his cheek she quickly grabbed pajamas from the dresser.
As she entered the bathroom to change, he remained lost in thought. Bringing a hand to his cheek, he tried to focus on the sensation of her supple lips gracing him with a kiss. His fingertips felt the slight residue of her lipgloss.
Marvelling at the enduring sticky texture, an easy smile sprang to his face.
He recalled a moment when she was testing different new lipglosses with a kiss to his cheek. As he told Michael, each kiss made it worth going shopping with Liz.
He leaned into his hand, a besotted smile on his face from the memory.
He turned at the sound of the bathroom door opening.
Liz's hair was held back with a dark blue headband. She was dressed in a long sleeved pajama set with a grey bear holding the Guess logo and decorated with flowers on a lavender background . The matching pants was navy blue dotted with little flowers. Modeling the fancier pajamas with a little twirl, Liz was the definition of cute.
"Shall we go," Liz asked tentatively as she studied him.
With a nod, he got up to join her. As they headed towards the door, he draped his arm on her shoulders to pull her close. In response, she leaned her head into the crook of his shoulder. The movement had a casual ease to it as it had in the early halcyon days of them going steady.
Note: I realized I was guilty of the common English teacher nitpick to show not tell so did a quick edit to add detail of what Liz is wearing.
I present Part 67. As requested, it definitely has some dreamer moments.
It actually got so long, I'm moving the second part of what I plannrd to part 68, which I'll need a little time to clean up before also posting. The revision to Part 66 will connect more to that portion, but do please read those changes that were posted yesterday. Responses to your lovely messages will be posted separately.
For those or their loved ones in SoCal, praying for your safety. Take care.
As this continues directly after Part 66 there are no previouslys.
PART SIXTY-SEVEN
As Diane followed her children through Max’s room, she kept pace slow and measured to observe them better.
Isabel's forced chipperness was a familiar tactic by her to hide whatever was bothering her. But her earlier shaky voice over Max not responding to her calls revealed there was something the kids weren’t sharing with her about Max.
At that time she had focused on taking control and calming Isabel down.
But the lost confusion in Max’s voice after he opened his eyes tore at her heart. Even when he would wake up crying in the first year of adopting him and Isabel, he had been aware of his surroundings and had a confident grip on reality.
How many lies had those monsters told him?
She knew one was about her and Phillip being in an accident. She could only assume they had told Max similar fates for the others.
Releasing a silent sigh, her forlorn gaze zeroed in on Max. She noticed his steps were slightly shaky as if his balance was off. Perhaps Amy could teach him some yoga, she mused. Seeing the tension in both her children’s shoulders and feeling her own stiff muscles, she decided that they all could benefit from it.
Passing the bed, Max's foot hit the corner causing him to stumble. In a flash, Diane was at his side to catch and steady him.
“Thanks, Mom.”
Max’s voice was soft and sincere. He ducked his head to hide his embarrassment, but Diane saw his cheeks start to redden.
She was quick to remind him, “that’s what I’m here for.”
Max tilted his head shyly in acknowledgement.
For a moment he seemed to sink into her embrace, but just as his back met her chest, the door opened.
Immediately, Max was taut. He seemed to struggle between shrinking into himself and holding his back fully straight. Diane held him steady by the arms and murmured, “you’re safe, honey. I’ve got you.”
Max released a ragged breath and nodded tightly.
Diane’s eyebrows scrunched with concern at the tiny tremors thrumming beneath her hands.
But in the next instant they suddenly vanished.
“Max,” Liz called out with sheer relief. Upon seeing Isabel and Mrs. Evans’ raised eyebrows and bemused expressions, Liz looked abashed and murmured an apology for interrupting.
Max now standing upright sported a lopsided smile. He nervously rubbed the back of his head to smooth down his wind-swept hair. Once done, he sighed happily, “Liz.”
Meeting Isabel's gaze Diane noticed her daughter's lips quirking as she attempted to stifle her laugh.
Seeing the change in Max's stature and her daughter’s mirth warmed Diane’s heart.
Phillip’s suggestion to let Liz share the room with Max was wise after all. She could clearly see the positive effect Liz had on Max.
She had to remind herself what she had told Isabel this morning: it had only been three days since they reached. Three days since she finally could hold her children in her arms.
For a year she had been haunted by that faceless corpse of her ‘alleged’ son. Seeing Max alive and intact helped to keep that memory at bay.
But those agents had lied, manipulated, and forced Max to accept a lonely and violent existence. Diane couldn’t begin to imagine what torment her son saw every time he closed his eyes.
She was amazed and beyond thankful that he had survived. But they needed to remember that it hadn’t even been two weeks since Max had been rescued.
She took a deep breath. Cal assured them they had time. Time to heal and be together. As she advised her daughter this morning, no need to fret. Slowly but surely, they would help convince Max of what was real.
And judging by the past few moments, Liz would be central to that.
She appraised Liz seeing how much she cared for her son. She recalled her supporting Max when he gave up Zan.
Remembering all that she’d learned about what the kids had faced over the years, she smiled warmly at Liz.
She decided she would make a point to have a heart to heart with her future daughter in law.
Addressing Liz, Diane offered, “hello, dear. I was about to make some hot chocolate— would you care to join us?”
Liz smiled and agreed, “that sounds wonderful. Thank you so much, Mrs. Evans.”
Appreciative of Liz’s manners, Diane smiled benignly. Wanting to start on a less formal footing she corrected, “Diane, please.”
Politely nodding, Liz remarked, “meet you down in a few minutes. I'm just going to change clothes.”
Accepting the reason with a nod, Diane took one last glance at Max. The change in him was truly remarkable. He stood steadily with nary a shake.
With a light pat on his shoulder, she nonverbally indicated that she would go ahead first.
She turned once more to Isabel who was quietly speaking to Liz. After a moment, she caught Isabel’s eye and gestured for her to join her.
Receiving a nod, she headed towards the door with one last glance at her son.
His reassuring smile and nod was enough to quiet her fears.
~ ~ ~
Once the door closed, Max turned to Liz, an apology already spilling from his lips. “Sorry I missed the game—”
He broke off, suddenly bereft for words. Having undid her ponytail, Liz’s damp tousled hair entranced him.
She looked radiant.
Heart thumping rapidly, his tongue darted out to wet his lips.
There was a touch of pink to her cheeks under his intense gaze. She self-consciously tugged at her hair to smooth it back into place.
Stepping closer, Max asked, “may I?”
Blushing profusely, Liz acquiesced with a shy nod.
Nimbly combing his fingers through her hair, he untangled and dried the damp strands.
“Better,” he asked in a low murmur.
Liz’s breath hitched. Biting her lip, her eyes shone with a secret delight as she nodded mutely.
The tiniest smirk pulled at the corner of his lip. Suddenly feeling hot, he tugged at the neck of his sweater.
He could almost convince himself that he was back at the Crash Festival admiring her body-hugging outfit, exhilarated by her smile, and completely lost in her eyes. Until he noticed a hair loop encroaching upon her face by her eye—
you had a… hair thing
He had wanted to kiss her so badly at that time.
Liz opened her mouth as if to speak but within that breath he captured her lips in a soul searing kiss.
His hands cupped her face as he seized the chance to rectify his past hesitancy.
He was resolute in showing her that he wouldn’t waste anymore time.
All these years he had held himself back because of the fear of being captured like that rubber alien in the UFO Museum exhibit.
But that had happened. Twice.
And he survived.
Whether he was truly rescued didn't matter to him at the moment. Kissing Liz was always an unbelievable dream to him.
Though he was reluctant to end the kiss, he stopped long enough for them to catch their breath. He rested his forehead against hers.
His eyes closed as he gulped down another breath; all the while he awaited her response.
“Max?”
“Yeah,” he answered softly; his eyes still closed.
“Max.”
He opened his eyes confused at the urgent tone bleeding into Liz’s repetition of his name.
He was disconcerted to see Liz was not in his arms.
Rather, she held him steady at arm’s length. Her expression was perturbed with her eyebrows furrowed and mouth drawn into a tight frown.
Needing to allay her concern he asked, "what's wrong?"
The mix of emotions on her face—part bemused relief and part deep concern still—only added to his confusion.
Shaking her head, she remarked, "were you able to get any rest?"
"Yeah..." he quietly answered. He looked down at his hands to avoid her astute gaze.
Feeling her rub his arm a bit, he dragged his head up to face her. His earlier feeling of unease returned as he saw no evidence of their passionate kiss.
In a hushed voice, Liz asked, "was it a flashback?"
He closed his eyes in disappointed resignation. Reopening his eyes, he looked to the side expecting an agent clad in a white hazmat suit.
"Come on, Max. Why don't you sit on the bed while I change?"
Refocusing on Liz. He saw her gentle kindness. It was one of the first things that attracted him to her on the playground in third grade. Her sweetness and pure soul sparkled in the morning light. All he could do was watch enraptured.
Looking at her now, he was similarly in awe. His battered mind still held onto his fear that this reprieve would soon be over and that he would be surrounded by pain and scorn once more. But as her beautiful face remained before him, the desperate hope in his heart urged him to agree.
Not trusting his voice, he nodded.
In moments, she led him to sit on the bed. With a quick peck on his cheek she quickly grabbed pajamas from the dresser.
As she entered the bathroom to change, he remained lost in thought. Bringing a hand to his cheek, he tried to focus on the sensation of her supple lips gracing him with a kiss. His fingertips felt the slight residue of her lipgloss.
Marvelling at the enduring sticky texture, an easy smile sprang to his face.
He recalled a moment when she was testing different new lipglosses with a kiss to his cheek. As he told Michael, each kiss made it worth going shopping with Liz.
He leaned into his hand, a besotted smile on his face from the memory.
He turned at the sound of the bathroom door opening.
Liz's hair was held back with a dark blue headband. She was dressed in a long sleeved pajama set with a grey bear holding the Guess logo and decorated with flowers on a lavender background . The matching pants was navy blue dotted with little flowers. Modeling the fancier pajamas with a little twirl, Liz was the definition of cute.
"Shall we go," Liz asked tentatively as she studied him.
With a nod, he got up to join her. As they headed towards the door, he draped his arm on her shoulders to pull her close. In response, she leaned her head into the crook of his shoulder. The movement had a casual ease to it as it had in the early halcyon days of them going steady.
Note: I realized I was guilty of the common English teacher nitpick to show not tell so did a quick edit to add detail of what Liz is wearing.
Last edited by behrinthecity on Tue Jan 21, 2025 5:20 am, edited 2 times in total.
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behrinthecity
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Re: Scars of White (AA, CC, MATURE) Part 66 edited + a/n 1/8/25 (WIP)
Happy New Year, Stefuh!Stefuh wrote: ↑Wed Jan 08, 2025 10:18 pm Happy new year!!
For chapter 65, I loved the fact that we got a chapter centered around Isabel. I hope that Cal will be able to get in contact with Jesse soon... The scene about Is, her mom, and the toy house was so beautiful, I almost cried when Isabel told Diane that she wanted her to see one of her most precious memories - that Diane was the sun when she first saw her. That was very touching.
For chapter 66, I felt heartbroken about the fact that Max thought he was back in the white room and that his reality was a lie. I'm so glad that Isabel and Diane came to wake him up, that must have been so frightening for him. And of course, Zan is wrong about Isabel, I can't believe Max has the trauma of the white room and Zan's voice telling him things to confuse him too. Poor him.
I can't wait for the next part!
Thank you so much for your detailed feedback. Cal is definitely a busy bee, but by Part 69 we'll definitely start to see some results.
Aww thank you for commenting on the toy house and Isabel's memory. I really wanted that closeness with her mother that season 3 had ruined back.
Yeah, Max has a lot to sort through mentally between the Unit's lies and abuse,and Zan's skewed perception. Keep in mind, the last thing in Zan's life was being killed by Kivar after Vilandra betrayed him. But at least Zan seems to accept Liz as Max's partner.
Looking forward to your thoughts on 67!
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behrinthecity
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Re: Scars of White (AA, CC, MATURE) Part 66 7/15 (WIP)
Thank you so much for your check ins and wishes.
No further accidents, but the effect of those two prior falls really messed with my brain and energy.
I did make 67 dreamer filled -- hope you enjoy!
Not able to attend any of the cons physically but I did watch some recordings on YouTube thanks to some fans who are kind enough to upload. The podcast Majandra and Brendan have been doing is a real joy, throwback, and inspiration.
Last edited by behrinthecity on Fri Jan 10, 2025 12:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
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behrinthecity
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