Part Eleven
I’m too happy.
I think this as I solemnly look at my reflection in my vanity mirror. Nothing good ever comes from my being too happy.
Most of the time, my heart is beating a little lighter and there seems to be a cushion of air beneath my feet. I can’t stop touching my lips, remembering his kiss, or looking at that massive hickey in the mirror. All the while, a giddy grin is on my face.
But after the giddiness comes the guilt. And the dread.
One of these days, Liz is going to come home. I haven’t heard from her since her date with Justin, so I don’t know if she’s decided to keep dating others or if the outing proved to her that Max was the one and only person for her. I do know that Max is trying to move on with his life. I’m just not too sure how happy Liz will be to find out he’s moving on with me.
I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I avoid Alex’s phone calls, even though I’m curious as to why I spotted him with the princess. I just can’t lie to him about Max – and I know he’d ask about Michael and I’d have to tell him that I was seeing Max instead.
Not that I’m ashamed of Max. God, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. It’s just that I don’t want the gossip that is going to start. It’s hard enough hiding this from Mr. Parker. I’m not sure what he’d do with the information – as a good parent, would he tell Liz? Or would he let her find out for herself?
Which brings the dread. As her best friend, I should be the one to tell her. But after I tell her, where will she turn to have her tears dried? As the best friend, that was also my role.
And I’m smiling again. Not because I just thought of hurting Liz, but because my mind has drifted back to Max again. I can still smell him, as though he was still here with me. I haven’t washed that halter top I was wearing at the fireworks show and every now and then I take it out of the drawer and hold it to my nose, inhaling deeply. It smells like his cologne; it has his fingerprints all over it. My stomach flips and I feel warm all over just thinking about it. No one has ever done that to me. Not even Michael.
There’s a light tap on my window and I glance at the clock as a reflex – it’s after one in the morning. I frown – if that’s Michael out there, waiting to rip me another one, then I’m going to be pissed. I pull back the curtains and find Max instead. Eyebrows lifted in curiosity, I push up the window.
“What’s going on?” I ask him, alarmed that something is wrong.
But he smiles. “Can I come in?”
I glance toward my door and nod. “But be quiet – Mom gets a little ballistic when she finds boys in my room.”
He only laughs and slides through the window. I push it back down, glad to be rid of the hot night air.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
As an answer, he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me to him, giving me a long kiss. Suddenly, I don’t care why he’s here – I only care that he’s here.
“Nothing’s wrong,” he finally answers, pulling back but still holding me. “You didn’t come to my room tonight.”
Max hasn’t had a nightmare in over a week. He doesn’t need me to sleep with him anymore…need being the operative word there.
“Yeah, I know,” I reply, my voice a little uncertain.
Immediately his smile fades away. “What is it?”
I shake my head. “Nothing. It’s just that after last night…”
“Oh.”
I see pain and rejection in his eyes like I’ve never seen before. He drops his arms and starts to slowly back away. I reach out and grab his hand and he looks to the floor.
“Where are you going?” I ask, my voice tinged with a laugh.
“I understand,” he says, the joy gone from his voice. “I pushed you too far and now you’re freaking. I get it.”
I laugh a little harder and he looks at me uncertainly. “God, Max. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. I didn’t come to your room because I didn’t trust myself.”
Surprise replaces the uncertainty.
“See, I’m afraid if I crawl in the sack with you…I might not be able to keep my hands off you.” And that’s the truth.
His smile returns and he pulls me back into his arms. I will never, ever get tired of kissing him. I could stand here all night. But why stand when there’s a bed a few short feet behind me? I back us up without breaking our kiss, then we tumble onto the bed.
We lay there for a long time, just looking into each others’ eyes. We share smiles and the occasional kiss, until finally Max raises his hand and two things happen – the light goes out and I hear the door lock flip. I guess he’s staying here. Which makes me very happy.
In the darkness, I see his expression slowly turn serious. When he speaks, I realize the long-overdue conversation is about to start.
“I knew I was going to lose Liz,” he admits, his voice soft. “I knew it as soon as Tess came to town. I knew something was going to happen and that whatever it was, Liz wasn’t going to be able to deal with it.”
I reach out and touch his face, offering comfort. He takes my hand in his and holds it against his chest.
“That’s why I kept my feels for Tess from her. And I know now that they weren’t real feelings. I feel nothing for her.” There is no bitterness in his voice, only simple truth. “But I knew it, Maria. I knew that Liz was going to leave me.”
I cuddle closer to him, offering silent support.
He gives a humorless laugh. “You know I once dreamed I caught her in bed with Kyle?”
My eyes shoot to his. “Max, Liz never cheated on you.” For all of the short-comings I’ve accused Liz of in the last few days, that is definitely not one of them.
“I know,” he agrees with a nod of his head. “But it felt so real. And I think at that point I knew that some day something was going to tear us apart.” He shakes his head. “I didn’t know it would be my wife from a former life.”
“But she’s not your wife in this life,” I point out.
Max gives me a sad smile. “You understand.” It’s a simple statement, a simple statement loaded with meaning.
Why is it that he doesn’t need to explain the whole Tess dynamic to me, but he couldn’t make Liz understand that none of it mattered to him? Maybe because I was more removed from it, I could see it clearer. Liz was too close.
He draws in a breath and lets it out as a slow sigh. “I knew that Liz wasn’t strong enough to weather the storm. I knew it the night that we healed Michael. She was so freaked out by it, by what might happen to me someday. I knew then that she was too fragile for this kind of life.” He pauses a moment, then looks into my eyes. “But you, Maria. You were the strong one. You just stepped up and asked what it was you needed to do. I really admired that.”
I lean in and give him a lingering kiss in gratitude. When we part, his eyes roam over my face, like he’s memorizing every detail of it.
“I want to start over. With you,” he says softly. “And not because you’ve been a good friend, and not because you’re Liz’s friend. But because I respect you, you intrigue me, and I absolutely adore you.”
I swallow hard, his words bringing tears to my eyes.
He smiles and wipes my lashes. “You have to stop doing that. I’m going to get a complex if you start crying every time we’re together.”
I give a little laugh. “I only cry because you make me happy, Max. You really do. No one has ever treated me the way you do, and it just makes me…happy.” That’s the only word I can put to it.
He draws me to him, holding me tight against his body. I wrap my arms around him, trying to get as close as I possibly can. I’m holding him so tight that I can feel his ribs expand every time he inhales. I inhale just to breathe in his scent again. And then I feel something pushing into my thigh.
I pull back slightly, glancing down that way. When I look back to Max, he looks sheepish and I think if the lights were on, I’d see a nice healthy blush on his cheeks.
“Uh, sorry,” he says uncomfortably. “You have that effect on me…”
My eyebrows shoot up as I realize just what is against my thigh. “I want to feel it,” I tell him, not even thinking twice about the words that just came tumbling out of my mouth.
“What?!” he gasps, horrified.
“I’ve never felt a real one,” I manage, the embarrassment now shifting over to me. “I mean, I’ve seen one, you know, but I’ve never like got to touch one…” And now I’m babbling.
He must think I’m an idiot. He stares into the darkness for a moment, his lips parted as if he’d like to reply but just can’t find the words. Maybe he’s wondering why I never got that far with Michael. Maybe he’s putting together why it was I didn’t want to sleep in his bed tonight.
Finally, a little tenuous, he takes my hand in his and draws it down the length of his body. I grin, elated that he’s given in. I break away from his grasp and carefully run my hand over the front of his jeans. He flinches and turns both of his lips into his mouth, biting them. I’m not really concerned about his reaction, though, because I’m too enthralled with the new thing I’ve found. With my fingers, I follow the hard outline in the denim. It only intensifies my curiosity, so I reach for his zipper.
I drop the zipper a few notches and look into his face to see if he’s going to protest. His eyes are closed and he doesn’t look like he’s going to stop me, so I continue to pull it all the way down. I can feel the anticipation coursing through my veins as I slowly slide my hand inside, the teeth of the zipper lightly scraping the back of my hand. I push my way through the fly of his boxers and then I have him in my hand. I smile and he gasps.
But I’m not letting go. I’ve got some investigating to do. As I move my hand slowly up the length of him, he lets out a little cry and buries his head in my shoulder, his breathing starting to come a little more ragged. I don’t get very far when he suddenly reaches down and takes my wrist, stopping my motions.
“You have to stop,” he says, his face buried between my neck and the pillow. He sounds desperate. “Please.”
I want this. I want to touch him and know everything about him. But if it makes him uncomfortable, if he’s not ready to share this with me, then I will stop. Slowly, I withdraw my hand, stopping long enough to pull his zipper back up. He lies there for awhile, trying to compose himself.
“Thank you,” I whisper against his ear, grateful for the experience he has given me. Then I kiss the side of his head and turn to stare up at the ceiling.
Eventually we fall asleep, wrapped around one another.
******
Work is work. Michael glares at me, I stick out my tongue. Mr. Parker sends me on many errands – including orders to water the flowers again this weekend. But I care about nothing. I only care about this new feeling I have inside of me, this wonder at having a new love.
Occasionally the guilt comes and I have to beat it back with a stick. I know one day I will pay for all of my present happiness, but for now I’ve decided to just be happy.
I’m in the break room, sitting on the couch and resting my aching feet when I hear the back door open. I’m more than happy to see Max there and I immediately jump to my feet and greet him. He reaches for me, but I hold up a hand.
“Michael’s here,” I tell him, rolling my eyes. The two of them are still on poor terms and I’m not sure confirmation of mine and Max’s relationship would really help matters.
“I don’t care,” he says, grabbing me and pulling me into a huge embrace. “You feel so good.”
“Not as good as you felt last night,” I laugh.
He reddens like I expected and I laugh at him. My laugh dies off quickly, though, as I feel his hand grab my ass. Victorious, he leans in and kisses me, a long, hard kiss. My knees turn to jelly and my insides flip completely over. When he pulls back, he looks up and brushes some of my hair away from my forehead. He looks like he’s about to speak, but his eyes shift over my shoulder, grow immediately wide.
What happens next happens so fast that it’s almost a blur. I see an object, which I register too late as Michael’s fist, fly past my face. Max shoves me out of the way as the fist makes contact with his jaw, sending him sprawling on the break room floor. I think I scream because I hear an echo that sounds a lot like my voice.
“Damn you!” Michael screams, his face red. He stands over Max, his fists clenched.
Max touches his lip, comes away with blood.
“Get up and fight me,” Michael demands.
Max shakes his head. “I’m not going to fight you.” He starts to get to his feet and Michael hits him in the ribs.
There’s that echo again.
With a grunt, Max crumbles to the floor. I know that he could take Michael with one blast of his powers, but they’re in a public place and neither of them will whip out the voodoo.
“Stop it!” I shout, trying to get between the two of them.
I see fury in Max’s eyes as he gets to his feet. He looks ready to kill.
I hear the kitchen door swing open behind me, but I don’t really register the significance of it until I hear Mr. Parker’s voice boom behind me. I didn’t know the man had the ability to yell, so it takes me totally off guard, frightening me.
“Take it in the alley, boys!” he shouts.
Both Michael and Max look at him and I expect the fight to disburse. Instead, Max reaches behind himself and pushes open the door, his gaze fixed on Michael in an unspoken challenge.
“Max!” I screech, not believing what I’m seeing.
He doesn’t even look at me, and as I try to follow them out the door, Mr. Parker takes my arm.
“You’re staying here,” he says.
I see something in his eyes that I can’t put a finger on. Disappointment maybe? After the door closes, I can hear shouts in the alley – Max’s and Michael’s voices – then a lot of scuffling. They’re beating the crap out of one another. That is worrying enough, but when I finally put my finger on what I see in Jeff Parker’s eyes, it is more so.
He knows about me and Max.
tbc
And you're all so complimentary! As a matter of fact, I had a hard time getting my shirt over my head this morning 
