Couple: Everybody / AU
Rating : YTEEN
Spoilers : I guess throughout the series and beyond
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything Roswell. Also, please keep in mind this is a PARODY!!! I mean no disrespect to any writer out there. This came about from my love of reading your stories. So, if I mention an idea that you have ever written, please don’t take offense, because none is meant.
A/N Thanks to Annie for her wonderful artwork.
I'm just reposting this, I think it got lost in the shuffle. A big thanks to Krista and Mary for being my biggest fans
Hopefully some new readers will find this too.
The six friends were gathered around the back of the CrashDown Café after closing, anxiously awaiting the arrival of Michael and Maria. Isabel, getting nervous asks “I wonder what’s up. Maria sounded strange when she called and asked to meet us here.”
Sitting next to her was Alex. “Yeah, stranger than usual.” Then, almost as an afterthought added, “Hey guys? Why do we always have our top secret meetings here? Wouldn’t it seem more normal to meet at, well, Pizza Hut or something?”
Max just looked at him and asks "What’s so great about normal?” He shoots a sly grin to Liz who rolls her eyes and starts to pace. Max continues, “Besides, it makes perfect sense. Haven’t you noticed that no matter where in Roswell we are, and the fact that some of us don’t have cars, we still manage to get here within ten minutes of each other? It’s like nobody realizes how big Roswell really is.”
Finally, Michael and Maria hurry in through the back doors. Maria is holding something in her arms. “Sorry we’re late, but Spaceboy here blew up my car. Again.”
Michael walks over to the couch and flops down next to Max. They all look at Maria expectantly.
“Okay, guys. I have some news…”
They all get start to get slightly anxious, and begin rattling off questions at her.
“You’re pregnant?” Asks Isabel, glaring accusingly at Michael.
“Your mom and my dad ran off and got married?” Asks Kyle.
“Michael doesn’t want to come to our next gig?” Alex shoots him a look.
“Did your abusive father come back to town?” Chimed in Max.
“Oh no, you’re dying, aren’t you?” Liz begins to cry.
“”Are you half Alien too?” Ponders Tess.
“God, are we breaking up again? Now what did I do?” Michael throws out.
As the questions came out, Maria became speechless. Finally she puts her hands up to stop the barrage of questions. “Why do you guys ALWAYS assume it’s one of those things?”
Kyle walks over to her and in a stage whisper answers. “Maria, this IS a fan fiction, and…well, face it, that stuff always happens to you.” He goes back to his seat next to Tess.
Maria pulls the bag she was carrying onto her lap. “For your information…I’ve come up with a solution to that. That’s why I called this meeting.” She opens up the bag and pulls out a laptop computer.
“Where did you get that?” Asks Liz.
“Well, it all started last night.” Maria begins her tale. “You know how a lot of these fan fiction authors like to have Isabel dreamwalk, and do all those crossover stories? Well, last night I got to go with her.”
“How did you manage that?” Isabel wonders out loud.
“Hey Iz, don’t look at me. I don’t write this stuff. Well, not yet anyway” Maria smiles, her eyes lighting up.
Max tries to hurry her along. “Maria can we just get to the point of why we are all here?”
“Okay, okay, keep your shirt on. (*Or not* She thought to herself, although she’d never let Liz know. *Lord only knows what she’d say about that GroundZero fic I found a few hours ago. That thing should have been rated NC-30!*) “Anyway, as I was saying, Isabel took me dreamwalking and we wound up in one of Tess’s dreams; which, by the way Tess, I loved it when you went to visit your cousin Buffy in Sunnydale and fell in love with some Billy Idol wanna-be vampire.” Maria starts to laugh, while Tess blushes, and Kyle raises his eyebrow at her and starts to glare.
“So anyway, I guess the author got tired of the idea or didn’t know where to go with it, cause he just totally abandoned the idea and started writing some icky-slashy Clark/Lex Smallville story.” Maria just shudders and looks at everyone’s blank expressions. “Hello! I was abandoned in the middle of the story! They forgot to write me out of it.” Still no response. “Okay, anyway, finally the author goes to bed. And that”, she pauses for dramatic effect, “is when I grabbed this.” Indicating the laptop.
“And what exactly are we supposed to do with it?” Michael asks.
Finally, Maria gets exhausted. “Don’t you guys get it? We can finally write our own fan fiction!” She starts to bounce up and down in her seat.
The collective “What?” stop her.
“Think about it guys. Finally, WE get to determine what happens to us. Anything we want.” She smiles proudly.
“Anything?” Asks Alex.
“Anything.”
“Really” From Kyle.
“Yes, really.”
Tess looks at her. “So I don’t have to be the queen alien bitch always looking to break up Max and Liz?”
Alex wonders out loud, “And the Whits can finally stop playing at that damn soap factory and have a real gig?”
“Hey, this means no more folically challenge hair remarks.” Michael, excitedly talking more to himself than anyone else.
Kyle ponders out loud as well. “What am I going to do with all the time I’ll save not being jealous of Max?”
Max gets a smile on his face and says “Maybe I’ll climb up to Liz’s balcony, do a striptease, and yell “I come in peace.” THAT got everyone’s attention. “Hey, its tough being the shy, sensitive one all the time.”
As everyone laughs, Isabel leans in to Liz, “And you can come and beg me to “Take me to your leader”.” Isabel and Tess start to laugh as Liz just gets red in her cheeks.
Maria gets up and sets the laptop on the counter. “Well, what are we waiting for? How would we start it?
“How about at Pizza Hut?” Asks Alex, quite seriously.
Kyle joins Maria at the counter. “Since I seem to get the least amount of fiction, can I go first?”
Maria pushes the laptop to him. “Knock yourself out.”
***indicates what characters type***
Kyle sits down and starts to type.
*** The day of the big game had finally arrived. Homecoming. The time of year for three things. Basketball, chicks, but most importantly…professional scouts. Kyle arrived early to the game and pulled his Mustang into the parking lot. As he got out and headed towards the dressing room, he heard the cheers of his adoring fans waiting outside for a glimpse of West Roswell High’s greatest player in history. The one who brought his team into the spotlight, and was now well on its way to an undefeated season.
Kyle walked purposely to the gym, thanking God (yes…God. Not Buddha. What were the writers thinking?) that he now had more time to devote to the team and had gotten the attention of some of the nation’s best scouts. Now he didn’t have to worry about working at Toby’s garage for the rest of his life. Ever since his dad got his job as Sheriff back, thanks to a mindwarp to the board by Tess, his life had increased a thousand percent.
Entering the dressing room, he was greeted again by cheers. This time from his enthusiastic teammates. Passing by them to his locker he got his stuff out and dressed for the big game.
After changing, and taking a final look in the mirror, he was on his way. No, wait. Was that a hair out of place? Quickly grabbing some gel, he fixed the offensive strand and smiling at his reflection made his way to the door.
Walking out to the court to get a few unnecessary practice shots in before the warm-up, he was greeted by his classmates again. As he paused to give them a moment of his valuable time, he looked around the gym. The seats hadn’t yet begun to fill, but there was a large crowd in the corner.
Curious as to what they were up to instead of admiring him, he walked over to join them. A smile crept onto his ruggedly good-looking face as he recognized them as his “official” fan club. They were kneeling on the floor finishing up the banners for the game. Banners that read “Go Valenti” and “Kyle’s #1, and “Comets Rule” Whoa…hold it. “Comets Rule?” What happened to “Valenti Rules”?
Squaring his shoulders he started to turn to the others. ‘There’s always one in every crowd’ he thought. Determined to find out who made the offensive sign and have a talk with them he noticed the hot, sexy blonde sauntering his way.
The pretty, blue eyed blonde bounced up to him, pom poms forgotten in her dash to be in his strong, manly arms for a pre-game hug. Her little cheerleading skirt riding up her tanned legs caught Kyle’s attention until the blonde threw herself into his arms.
Covering the afore mentioned handsome face of the Comets star player with kisses, Tess managed to distract him from his mission of finding the banner making traitor among his group.
“Are you nervous?” She cooed in his ear. “I know the scouts are gonna be here watching you.”
“Me? Nervous? Nah, I’m okay. Although I could use a pre-game make-out session with the sexiest girlfriend a guy could have.” He shot her his trademark smile, white teeth actually dazzling in the gymnasium lighting.
“Oh, anything for you, Sweetie.” Tess purred in his ear.***
Tess yanked the laptop away from Kyle and his delusions of grandeur. “God, Kyle. Are you sure there’s enough room for you and your ego in that story? And for the record, I do not, have not, nor will I ever purr, thank you very much.” She huffed and focused on the screen of the computer. “Let’s see what I can make out of this mess.”
Tess thinks for a minute and then begins typing.
***“Oh, anything for you Sweetie. But !!! You need to practice. It’s not like I’ll be able to mindwarp the entire crowd to make you look good again.”
“Tess!” Kyle paled and whipped his head around, afraid someone might have overheard her. “First of all, you promised you’d never bring that up. And secondly, I don’t need your help again.” Kyle just looked as Tess started laughing.
“Please Kyle, I know the scouts are here, and I know for a fact that you’re nervous.”
“I am not nervous Tess, why do you seem so sure I am?”
She answered in a ultra sweet voice If you’re not nervous, then why did I find your lucky charm in your gym bag?” She quickly held up a hairless, one armed Strawberry Shortcake doll.
“Ahhh! Cake-Cake!!!” Kyle lunged for the doll but it quickly vanished before his eyes. After a moment, he realized it was only another mindwarp and that his precious Cake-Cake was still safe and secure in his locker.
“Don’t worry Kyle, you’re secret is safe with me. Now if you don’t mind, I have lots to do.”
“Like what?” Kyle asked.
“Well, seeing as how I’m no longer evil and spending all my free time doing evil deeds… I’ve decided to broaden my group of friends, so I’ve joined a few clubs. Not only am I cheerleading, but I also joined the Pep Squad, The Spanish Club, Student Government, The Gardening Group, Hands for Hunger, Drama Club, Yearbook Staff, Band, Glee Club, oh and I’m Queen… uh I mean, Chairperson of the Homecoming Committee.”
Kyle just stares at her. “Wow, Tess. That’s quite a schedule you’ve got going on there. Are you sure you have time for all that stuff?”
Tess looks up at him and smiles sweetly.
“Hey, I never realized how busy the whole destiny thing was keeping me. But I’ve seen the light and I’ve changed. I’ve decided to expand my horizons and now I’m going to embrace my human side. So, you hear that readers? I’m ignoring destiny and doing normal teenage things!! Happy now? I’ve accepted the fact that I am on Earth!!! Got it??? I DON’T want Max anymore!!! Why don’t you people just leave me alone??? And while I’m on the subject…not that I’m as dumb as most of you make me out to be, but where do you dream up these devious, intricately formulated plans for me to betray everyone? I mean, what the hell are you guys smoking??? I couldn’t even decode that damn book by myself. And I don’t even want to go home. SO GET OVER IT!!!! WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH? HUH? I DIDN’T REALLY HURT ALEX!!! BUT DO YOU LET IT GO? NO!!!!! YOU STILL LABEL ME THE FRIZZY-HAIRED BLOND BITCH. WELL WHERE DO YOU GET OFF? HUH? ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!
***
Alex yanks the laptop out of Tess’s reach. He warily pats her back, trying to calm her down. “Tess, come back from the bad place. It’s just us here. We know the truth okay?”
Tess looks up, the picture of calm and in control. “I’m okay, Alex. It’s just that sometimes….ugh! But I’m all right now. Can I have the computer back now?”
He slides it back to her.
“I have a really great idea for the half-time show. Television crews….Reporters….and, for the big surprise…I planned on hiring Alien Ant Farm to sing!” She claps her hands together. “Isn’t that ingenious?” She leans back toward the screen before the laptop is yanked from her by Alex for the second time.
“Those Hacks?!?!?!” Alex screeches. “No way Tess, this is just the chance The Whits need. I think I’d better work on this for a while.”
He repositions the laptop in front of him, deletes a few sentences and starts typing.
***The West Roswell Comets were up 36-18 at half-time. Kyle had led the team to its current lead almost single-handedly and without any mindwarping from Tess (*happy Buddy?*). He did so well in fact, the scouts barely noticed his height. Or rather, lack there of.
Tess was out on the court finishing up a cheerleading routine She had choreographed it to a song by Lord of Acid. *What was it with her and her musical tastes? Maybe it was an alien thing, seeing as how Michael also had an unhealthy obsession with Metallica.*
Alex was standing along side the stage that had been set up at the edge of the court. He was tuning his guitar while waiting for the rest of The Whits to join him. They had been doing so many shows lately, they were the hottest thing in Roswell now. “Take that Kit Shickers.” Alex mumbled under breath.
“Did you say something, Alex?” Maria asked as she came up to him. Dressed and ready to perform with the band, Maria was as ready as he was.
“No, I was just thinking out loud”
Alex turned to face her. “Did you go over the song again like I asked?”
“Alex.” Maria whined. “I know the song.”
“Can you just humor me please, Maria? I spent a long time writing that song. I poured my heart and soul into it. And it’s up to you to sing it. You know what it’s about and who. Please, don’t mess this up.”
“Alex, I promise I will do my best. I think she’ll get the hint.” Kissing him on the cheek she starts up onto the stage.
Alex looked around the gym. It was filled to over flowing for half-time. People had apparently come from miles around to see The Whits play.
Putting the strap around his shoulder, Alex get up on the stage to the standing cheers of the crowd. The lights dim and he starts to play. Maria’s voice begins to sing.
‘He was a boi, she was a girl
Can I make it anymore obvious?
He was a punk, she did ballet
What more can I say?
He wanted her, she'd never tell
secretly she wanted him as well.
But all of her friends stuck up there nose
they had a problem with his baggy clothes.
He was a sk8er boi, she said see ya later boi
he wasn't good enough for her
She had a pretty face, but her head was up in space
she needed to come back down to earth.
five years from now, she sits at home
feeding the baby
she's all alone
she turns on tv
guess who she sees
sk8er boi rockin' up MTV.
she calls up her friends, they already know
and they've all got tickets to see his show
she tags along and stands in the crowd
looks up at the man that she turned down.
He was a sk8er boi, she said see ya later boi
he wasn't good enough for her
now he's a super star
slammin' on his guitar
does your pretty face see what he's worth?
sorry girl but you missed out
well tough luck that boi’s mine now
we are more than just good friends
this is how the story ends
too bad that you couldn't see
see that man that boi could be
there is more that meets the eye
I see the soul that is inside
He's just a boi, and I'm just a girl
can I make it anymore obvious?
we are in love, haven't you heard
how we rock each others world
I'm with the sk8er boi, I said see ya later boi
I'll be back stage after the show
I'll be at a studio
singing the song we wrote
about a girl you used to know’
(As all of you know, the song isn’t mine, It is Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8er Boi”)
Maria ended the song, and the crowd went wild. Well, all except for a certain blonde bombshell, who sat there, apparently oblivious to the blatant meaning of the song.
Alex just shook his head. *She’s probably thinking of ways to seduce the Sheriff. I mean, we all know how she digs those older men.* Thoughts drifting to Grant (ick) and Jesse (yuck), Alex decided to let it go and focus back on the crowd. After all, they did come to see HIM play, and he would give it all he had.
Stepping up to the front of the stage, Alex starts playing again. The girls go crazy, the noise is deafening. Knowing that Ria couldn’t handle the powerful vocals alone, Alex joins in singing, much to the even louder delight of the girls in the cro***
Laptop pulled away from him, Alex prepares for the fury.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Maria yelled at Alex. “First of all, when have you EVER called me Ria? I don’t remember anyone of you calling me that, yet, here it is again!!!!!!! And, my voice isn’t strong enough? Just where do you…”
“Maria, calm down.” Isabel breaks in. “It’s just a story. You don’t see me getting all upset about the song do you? Or about Alex’s pathetic little Sheriff joke?”
“No, Isabel, I won’t calm down.” Maria huffs and keeps hold of the laptop.
*I’ll show you who’s voice is powerful enough.* Maria thinks and begins typing.
***Knowing that The Whits usual musical tendencies would be ill-appropriate for the upcoming crowning of the Homecoming Queen, Maria decided to step up and save their sorry butts again.
She quickly scans the audience and smiles when she sees her mom. *I’m so glad she made it.* Maria thought to herself. *And that she’s not out of town at one of her wacky conventions. No…wait a minute. Something about that isn’t right. Oh, that’s it! Her mom is never actually out of town at wacky conventions. She likes to stay in Roswell for those. Just another trend that caught on in the fan fiction world I guess. Like that “Ria” thing. Oh, yeah, and my calling everyone “chica”. God, I said it like once!*
Shaking the annoying thoughts out of her head, Maria refocuses on the crowd.
“Okay, everybody.” She says into the microphone. “We’re gonna start to slow things down a bit. This next song is one of my all-time favorites. It means a lot to me, especially now that I have that certain special someone in my life.”
The crowd turns collectively to the handsome face of one…Michael Guerin. He is standing there watching his love attentively, breathlessly anticipating her next song.
She nods to the band and they begin to play. She starts softly, letting the words breeze over her lips…
Maybe I hang around here
A little more than I should
We both know I got somewhere else to go
But I got something to tell you
That I never thought I would
But I believe you really ought to know
I love you
I honestly love you
You don't have to answer
I see it in your eyes
Maybe it was better left unsaid
This is pure and simple
And you should realize
That it's coming from my heart and not my head
I love you
I honestly love you
I'm not trying to make you feel uncomfortable
I'm not trying to make you anything at all
But this feeling doesn't come along everyday
And you shouldn't blow the chance
When you've got the chance to say
I love you
I honestly love you
If we both were born
In another place and time
This moment might be ending in a kiss
But there you are with yours
And here I am with mine
So I guess we'll just be leaving it at this
I love you
I honestly love you
I honestly love you.
(Song by Olivia Newton-John / (Written by Peter Allen & Jeff Barry) )
As she is singing the song, all eyes are riveted on her. But Maria herself only has eyes for one person, well, alien, in the entire gymnasium. Her Spaceboy. Her Michael. His beautiful brown eyes never leave hers during the entire performance.
After the song ends, the applause is overwhelming. As if in a daze, Michael moves away from his seat in the bleachers towards the stage. Towards the radiant, beautiful blonde. A look of pure love and tenderness is in his eyes as he sees only her. He walks up the steps, grabs her in his arms, still oblivious to the onlookers, and gives his beloved…..****
“Maria!” Yells Michael. “Just what the hell are you writing? Some cheesy romance novel?” You’re making me into a sappy, sweet moron. And we all know that’s Maxwell’s job”
“Sorry, Max.” Michael throws the apology over his shoulder.
Max just shrugs, “Hey, I’m used to it.”
“Michael, you need to calm down.” Isabel again interjects her two cents. “It’s STILL JUST A STORY! Would you get over yourself a bit? You don’t see me throw a fit anytime someone calls me The Ice Princess….do you?” Isabel rolls her eyes and goes back to examining an imaginary spot on her fingernail.
“I don’t care Iz. There is no way I’m letting anyone read what Maria just wrote."
Taking the computer to the couch with him, Michael backs a few sentences up and redirects the story.
.
***After the song ends, the applause is overwhelming. As if in a daze, Michael moves away from his seat in the bleachers towards the exit.
That soft easy-listening oldies had been too much for him. He needed some air to clear out his head.
What was that crazy girlfriend of his trying to do to him. She knows he likes to keep a low profile, so what does she go and do? Make everyone in the gym look straight at him. It was just plain…well, it creeped him out. Even more creepy than the time he had to kiss that Courtney chick. Thank God those storylines are long gone.
Leaning up against the brick wall, he starts to think about Maria. Michael thought things had been going pretty well lately. So what was up with that weird ass song she was singing. He gave up a hockey game for that?
If she wanted some moony, sappy guy, she should have fallen for Max. He was down with the sensitivity crap.
But, Michael knew deep down that wasn’t what Maria wanted. She was happy with their odd relationship. It wasn’t like she was gonna dump him for an old Redneck boyfriend named Billy, (who can’t even afford a razor, much less a dentist), or land a “never in this lifetime” recording contract (yeah, cause famous New York talent agents “just hang out” in Roswell, New Mexico)
Deciding he needed to spend some quality “alone time” with Maria, Michael eagerly started to formulate his next move. Kidnap Maria and hit the road. This time though, the “last alien on earth,” (well, for his purposes anyway) would get some. But how to get her to go with him. She was still pretty upset about the condition her car returned in from their last trip they took.
Maria came outside to stand next to him. For once she was actually quiet. It was now or never.
He had to be devious, He had to be underhanded. He had to come up with something very unexpected because Maria was far too smart to fall for any fool’s plan. Just then it came to him. He’d just come up with the most intricate, sneaky, yet utterly ingenious plan of any man on this planet or the next to get her to go along with him.
“So Maria”, he asked, the picture of casual. “You wanna take a road trip together?”
She looks into his eyes, a mischievous smile twinkling in hers. She slowly nods her head yes and whispers, “I’ll be packed first thing tomorrow.”
Slapping him on his irresistible behind, (he he he) she sauntered back into the gym.
Smiling to himself, he walked back into the gym to hear the announcement over the loudspeaker.
“And this year’s Homecoming Queen is none other than…… Stacey Scheinin!”***
Michael felt the compact hit the back of his head the same time he heard the scream.
“No freakin’ way in hell!”
Isabel got up to stand in front of Michael, hands on hips and eyes narrowed like he’d never seen before.
“If you think I’m going to let that skanky, slutty cow anywhere near that crown, you’ve got another thing coming.”
“But Isabel…” Maria said in a slightly mocking tone. “I thought you said to chill. After all it IS JUST A STORY.”
Shooting daggers at Maria, Isabel answers. “Story or no, I refuse to let that happen. Give me the damn computer.”
Taking it away from Michael, Isabel settles herself, flips her hair over her shoulder and proceeds to rectify Michael’s stupid blunder.
***“And this year’s Homecoming Queen is none other than……Isabel Evans.”
Quickly regaining her composure after the totally unexpected, yet unquestionably deserved honor, Isabel made her way to the stage to join the rest of the homecoming court. She smiled and hugged her friends who had also made it up on stage: Krista, Cat, and Mary.
Isabel stood smiling towards the crowd, resplendent in her black leather dress. (A girl can never wear too much black leather in a desert town, now. Can she?) She could feel not only the awestruck stares of every guy in the room, but the envy of all the girls as well.
Looking off to the left where The Whits had gathered after their performance she caught Alex’s eyes. Her smile softened and became one of true happiness when she saw the love and pride in his eyes.
Turning back to the audience, her mind started whirling. *I can’t wait till the dance after the game tonight. But, what if Alex doesn’t ask me to dance? Nah, that would never happen. Of course he’ll ask me. Unless…..damn…maybe I should have worn the red dress, I know how much he likes me in red. Dammit, why did I go with this thing?*
A tap on the shoulder stopped her thoughts from running away from her. It was Alex, holding the queen’s crown and a bouquet of red roses.
Setting the crown atop her head and leaning in to give her a congratulatory kiss, he whispered. “I hope you’ll save at least one dance for me later.”
*I knew it!* Isabel thought, and smiled back at him. She mouthed ‘yes’ and then walked up to the microphone ready to read the card that held the name of West Roswell’s Prom King.
She paused before opening the card, again looking out into the crowd. She spotted her brother Max sitting next to Liz. Close enough that you could tell they were together, but just far enough apart to make you wonder. And wonder Isabel did. What is wrong with him?
In Isabel’s mind, Max didn’t seem to have enough fun. With Max it was always 3 things, rules, silent mooning over Liz, and crazy memories of being King of some planet they’d….. wait a minute.
Isabel got a sly smile on her face and passed her hand over the card. The name quickly changed to Maxwell Evans. Hey, if the guy wanted to be a King, she’d make him King.
Clearing her thought Isabel announced. “And this year’s Homecoming King is Max Evans.”
The crowd went silent. Nobody could believe it. Shy, timid Max Evans as King?
Max’s face went into a total look of shock. His unusually large ears turned bright red. Not knowing what to do he turned to Liz for answers, knowing how much smarter she was than him.***
“Umm, Iz?” Isabel turned away from the computer to see Max staring at her.
“Yes?” She asked totally innocently.
“Do you think it would be possible for you to make me seem any more pathetic than you already did?” Max’s voice was rising. “You know, you’re starting to sound like those darn Candy Girls. They can’t stand me for some reason and all they do is make fun of me in their stories. And here you are….my own SISTER!!! doing the same thing. And my ears are perfectly sized. Right, Liz?"
Liz just sat there silently pleading the fifth.
Barely composing himself, he turns back and holds out his hands to her, he stares till he gets the computer from her.
“We’ll see who’s moony and pathetic.” Max thought and quickly deleted most of Isabel’s story.
***As the floor was being cleared for the next half of the basketball game, Max turned to Liz. Taking her hand, he indicated that he wanted to get down from the bleachers.
Walking out the doors together, Max suddenly turned to Liz, asking the question that had been plaguing not only him, but every person out there.
“Ummm, Liz?” Max asked, looking deep into her eyes.
Liz smiled, her big, beautiful brown eyes lighting up as she waited to hear what her soul mate had to say.
“Do you think my ears are unusually large?”
“Oh, Max.” Liz answered breathlessly. “Of course not. I’ve never thought that. Your ears are what I love most about you.”
“Liz.” Max beamed down at her. “That’s why I love you so much. You’re so truthful, and kind, and sweet, and everything I could ever possibly want.”
“Max, I haven’t heard you be this honest since Kyle got you drunk that time….oh Max…tell me you aren’t drunk again.”
“I’m drunk on you Liz.” Max replied. “It’s always been you. And I don’t think I’ve ever been more clearheaded than that night.”
Max reached for her hand. “Liz, do you remember what I asked you that night? I asked you to run away with me. To leave Roswell and all this alien stuff behind us. We could still do that. Obviously we don’t have to worry about money, or telling our parents where we go. So what’s stopping us?”
“Max, I don’t know what to say”
“But, Liz, this is our chance. I’m so tired of always being the responsible one. You know, the one who has to make all the tough decisions, the one who has to tell Michael he’s being too irrational. For once I want to be the irrational one.”
While talking, he had also slowly begun unbuttoning his shirt.
“Uh, Max what are you doing?” Liz’s eyes grew wide at the sight of his chiseled, perfectly toned abs.
“I’m freeing myself, Liz.” Max tossed the shirt to the side, not noticing Sonia walking by. The shirt landed on her head, covering her eyes. Startled, she pulled the shirt off her head, eyes glued to the sculpted god standing shirtless before her. A light sheen of sweat had appeared almost magically, making his muscles appear even more impressive. Sighing at the sight and staring daggers at Liz, Sonia continued on, clutching her prize close to her.
Watching the scene, unamused, Liz turned back to Max. “I want to be free too, Max.”
Grabbing his hands in hers, Liz continued. “Let’s go. Tonight. Let’s go pack and just drive away into the sunset.”
Swinging her up against his 6 pack chest, Max began to walk to the jeep, ready to embark on their new freedom.***
“Max!” Liz pulls the laptop from him. “You can’t write stuff like that. I mean, we’re just supposed to run off? And do what? Get a Volkswagon van and drive aimlessly across the country for the rest of our lives?”
“But Liiiiizzzz.” Max’s voice turned to almost a whine. “I was being impulsive. I was being spontaneous. And most of all, I was being the sexy one. It’s my story, let me finish.” He reaches to grab the computer back, but Liz keeps it away from his grasp.
“No, Max. I think it’ll be best if I finish this up. I mean, so far we have nothing but a few pages of ill-conceived plots and absolutely no storyline whatsoever. Maybe I can at least get a few reasonable paragraphs written.”
Settling down at the counter, Liz stares at the screen. Slowly, she begins to type.
***Journal entry 51,367. I’m Liz Parker (as if you hadn’t guessed yet from the previous 51, 366 entries) and three years ago I almost died. That’s right, Max Evans asked me out. And I almost died then and there. Then things got really interesting. We’ve been dating ever since and each day is more wonderful than the next. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s his soulful eyes. It’s almost as they can see into my soul. But of course they can’t, because Max is a human. It’s not as though he’s “not of this earth” or anything. But back to my favorite topic…Max. He’s the most wonderful boyfriend. He’s thoughtful, and sweet, and oh so smart. Tonight for instance, he’s going to climb up my balcony and we are going to study Boyle’s theory about heat expansion. Then we***
The laptop is snatched away from Liz. She looks up to see Maria holding the computer, a slightly glazed over look in her eyes.
“Liz, nobody is going to want to read that.”
“But Maria.” Liz looked forlorn. “This is MY turn to write and you didn’t even give me a chance to get started properly.” She begins to pout unattractively.
Maria just rolls her eyes.
“Okay Liz, first off...this isn’t your boring journal.”
“My journal is not boring.” Liz protests.
Michael can’t suppress the snort that escapes from his corner of the room. “Please Liz, why do you think I returned it to you after I stole it. It kept putting me to sleep every time I tried to read it.”
Maria looks back to Liz.
“See? And secondly, what happened to you complaining about no plots? Or, oh, wait let me guess. You and Max ace a test…go off to college…graduate…get married…have 2.5 kids and a white picket fence around your house. Am I right?”
“Is it too much to ask for a nice, normal storyline where Max and I are both normal, human teenagers and let things progress happily from there?” Liz asks.
“I have two words for you Liz…BO and RING.”
“I’m gonna have to agree with Maria on this one Liz.” Isabel joins the conversation. “I guess writing these stories is harder than it seems.”
“You’ve got that right.” Alex stands up and walks over to Maria. “It’s like every one of us had the perfect idea for the perfect story, and we wound up with nothing.”
Max joins them. “I guess that’s why WE don’t write the fan fiction and THEY do.”
“But…” Maria tries to protest, but Max continues on.
“I think it would be best if you returned the laptop. We obviously can’t do this ourselves.
The others chorus their agreement. Only Kyle seems a little crestfallen that he won’t get his professional Basketball contract, but he agrees nonetheless.
“Well, I guess we’d all better go home and get some sleep.” Says Tess. “I know I for one will have a full day of Max-chasing tomorrow.” She grabs her things, which to her includes Kyle, and heads for the door.
“And I’ll need my beauty sleep if I’m going back into full “Ice-Princess” mode.” Isabel looks at Alex, who jumps up and follows her to the car.
Michael bends down to kiss Maria. “Hey, it was a good idea. It just didn’t work.”
Maria still looks unhappy; the one sight Michael can’t bear. “Do you want me to drive you home?” He asks.
Maria shakes her head no. “I’m okay, Spaceboy. I’ll just go return this and head home by myself. Forcing a smile, she gives him another good-night kiss, puts the computer away and walks to her car. She bumps into her friend Krista outside the CrashDown.
“Hey Maria, what’s up?” Indicating the computer under her arm. “You doing homework or something?”
“No, just a little side project.” Just then an idea pops into Maria’s head.
*If I can’t write something, maybe I can get Krista to write exactly what I want.* Maria turns to her friend. “So um, what are you doing tonight?”
“Nothing.” Krista answered.
“Well, how would you feel about coming over and helping me on my little project?”
“What is it?” Asks Krista.
Maria explains her dilemma.
“I suppose that could be fun.” Answers Krista. “But only if I get to be with Kyle in it.” A sly grin crosses her face.
Maria smiles and they make their way to her car.
Driving home, Maria can’t keep her mind from wandering. “I just know this will work.” A picture of Michael stepping out from the shower pops into her head. *I always did like the smut stories.* Maria smiles.
“It can’t hurt if I just keep this for one more day or so.”
She gets out of her car and walks into her house with Krista, all smiles.
“After all…It isn’t as though Bill Gates is going to notice one of his personal laptops missing.”