And the Road Shall Lead You Home (ML/ Adult) (Complete)

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Thirty

May 2002 Liz Parker

I’m Liz Parker and…sometimes the thing you think you want isn’t really what you wanted at all.

I thought I could never trust Max Evans again. The very thought of opening my heart to him again seemed frightening and…impossible. But that was two days ago when my options concerning the future of our relationship seemed limitless. Now I find out that he’s leaving town, leaving the entire planet actually and this may be my last opportunity. It’s now or never. Do or die and any other cheesy cliché you can think of because I can’t shake this awful feeling, this instinctive feeling that I could be missing out on something wonderful. And it scares me, even more than the idea of loving Max again.

It scares me to death.

**********

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

“Are you asleep?”

Max rolled over in his bed and glanced at the digital clock on his nightstand. The glowing red numbers blared 1:45 a.m. back at him. He flopped over onto his back with a disgruntled sigh. “Not anymore,” he answered Liz wryly as he scrubbed the sleep from his eyes, “I thought you weren’t talking to me.”

“You said you’d be there if I needed a friend,” she reminded him gruffly, “Well I need one now, Max.”

A mere three days had gone by since he confessed his plan to leave and Max was sure at that time he’d seen and heard the last from Liz. After he had taken her back to her car she hadn’t spared him so much as a glance before speeding off. Max had spent the remainder of the afternoon kicking himself for telling her the truth. Later, however, he was glad he had. At least she couldn’t say that he hadn’t been willing to start anew with her. And though her lack of response had hurt badly Max was glad he had told her about his plans. So, he reasoned, if the door towards friendship with Liz ever did open again the path would be clear. Now it was swung wide open and sooner than Max had ever expected.

It never crossed his mind to wonder why she hadn’t called Maria for her needed friend. Max was too preoccupied with thanking the gods for turning her in his direction and he was determined not to make her regret the decision. “What’s on your mind, Liz?” he asked, shaking off the clinging vestiges of sleep and pushing himself upright in bed.

“Claudia.”

That response through him for an understandable loop. “I’m sorry…who?” Max asked with a repressed yawn.

“My daughter,” Liz clarified quietly, “I named her Claudia for my grandmother.” She laughed a bit, a strangled sound that sounded more like a broken sob than a chuckle. “She wasn’t even as big as a grapefruit and already she had a name. I had even planned what college she was going to attend.”

“Liz, are you okay?” Max whispered carefully.

“And I’m like thinking,” she went on in agony, “that I could have had her, bonded with her and then she could have died and that would have been…devastating. But…I still feel like I’ve been cheated because I never even got to see her face…her baby face, I mean and I just don’t understand why. I was ready to be mom…I was ready to accept it but now there’s…nothing. How did I just go to nothing, Max?”

“Have you spoken to your parents about any of this, Liz?”

Again Liz responded as if he hadn’t said a word at all. “See…I’m having real issues with being left behind right now, Max,” Liz explained in disjointed anguish, “I get that you’ve got to go back to Antar and do what you think is right but I feel like I’m just losing one more person. It’s what I was always afraid of, Max.”

“But I thought that you wanted me out of your life, Liz,” he reminded her gently, “You should be relieved that I’m leaving.”

“That’s not true,” she cried, “You know that’s not true. I said I didn’t feel ready to trust you again, Max! That does not translate into ‘leave the planet forever,’ you dumbass!”

“For me it does,” he said, his tone amused, “If I can’t have you in my life, Liz, then what’s the point of staying? What’s the point of anything?”

“That’s so emotional blackmail, Max,” Liz sniffled disdainfully, “And…while we’re on the subject of you leaving…how do you go around offering yourself as a friend if you’re not even planning to stay on the planet? It’s superfluous.”

“Those SAT words just roll off your tongue, don’t they, Liz?” Max teased, “And besides…Larek seems to have being an intergalactic friend down to an art form.”

“Great,” Liz mumbled unenthusiastically, “So then you’ll just go around possessing unsuspecting humans just so we can have the occasional chat.”

His spirits lifted to soaring heights at her casual mention of future conversations between them. It meant that she was open to the possibility and the realization made Max smile. “Probably,” he confessed with a touch of laughter, “I’ll do what I have to…if you need me, Liz. Which brings us back to the reason you called in the first place. Why were you thinking about Claudia?”

“I guess it just really hit me hard,” she murmured tearfully, “I would have been showing by now, did you know that? I feel like there’s this instinct in me to be a mother…to nurture someone but…I’m not a mother and there’s no one to nurture.”

“Hmm…I know that feeling pretty well,” Max whispered in empathy.

“How do you make it go away?” Liz asked mournfully.

“You don’t,” he said, “You wake up with it. You go to bed with it and somehow you just…try to cope.” Max released a low, snorting laugh. “Whoever said that crap about it getting easier as time passed didn’t know squat about losing a child.”

“So what do you do?” she murmured, “How do you cope?”

“Friends help,” he said, a slight smile in his voice, “Talking your feelings out with them…that definitely helps.”

Max didn’t know exactly how he expected her to respond to that but what she said next would have knocked him flat had he been standing. “Thank you, Max,” she whispered, “You’re right. Friends do help. Maybe I’ll call you again sometime.” And then she hung up, ending their conversation as suddenly as it had begun.

**********

“Are you smiling?”

Max dropped his bookbag, just barely missing his toe as Isabel made her incredulous pronouncement. He slammed his locker shut with an annoyed grunt. “What is the matter with you?” he enunciated tightly as he bent to retrieve his pack, “How many times have I asked you not to sneak up on me?”

“You were smiling just now,” Isabel accused him softly, “Don’t deny it.”

“Actually I was cleaning out my locker,” Max brazened nonchalantly, “And leading a rather peaceful existence until you ambushed me.”

But it was entirely possible that he had been smiling. He was definitely smiling on the inside and he had been ever since his impromptu conversation with Liz the night before. He hadn’t gotten off the phone with her until well after two o’clock and afterwards he had been unable to fall back asleep. Instead he had gone over to his work desk to write a few lines in his journal. His mother had suggested that he buy one to write down the feeling he couldn’t verbalize and last night had been one of those moments. While he had been somewhat gloomy with missing his son Max had also been elated because, at long last, he and Liz had managed to connect.

He wanted to shout the development from the rooftops, to babble his happiness to every single person that crossed his path but he didn’t. Max recognized that this was only the beginning and a tentative one at that. Liz had taken her first baby steps toward him and he didn’t want to say or do anything to impede her from taking any further ones. She still didn’t trust him, but her call to him last night was evidence that she wanted to and that was a start. So while Max held a cheerful outlook he wouldn’t push Liz for more.

Max didn’t let himself be discouraged by the fact that Liz had bypassed lunch with him or the fact she had spoken to him very little that day. She had, however, thrown a smile in his direction and there had been a moment in the hall when their eyes connected briefly. That had been enough for Max…more than enough, which was probably why Isabel had found him grinning like a fool.

“So are you going to tell me what has you so chipper all of a sudden?” Isabel pushed as they started down the hall together.

“Can’t I be in a good mood,” Max evaded.

“It’s just not the norm,” Isabel speculated.

“Well, that’s understandable considering the circumstances, right?”

“Max, I heard your phone ring last night,” Isabel replied flatly, “Who was calling you at two o’clock in the morning? And don’t tell me it was Michael because I already asked him and he didn’t have a clue what I was talking about.”

Max flicked his sister with a disapproving glance. “You’re really outdoing yourself with the life interference these days, Izzy,” he said crossly, “Do you think you could give me a break?”

“I’m worried for you, Max,” Isabel returned unapologetically, “I don’t think you’re dealing with your grief in a healthy way.”

“Is that why you decided to blindside me at Alex’s party by showing home videos of Zan,” Max threw back in dripping sarcasm.

“I told you why I did that,” Isabel told him, “I thought seeing him…remembering happier times would help you, Max.”

“Well, I thank you for trying but please, next time, send a Hallmark.”

Isabel pinned him with a glare. “This is no time for jokes,” she said tartly.

“I’m not joking,” Max replied, but his lips were twitching with laughter, “Seriously Isabel, I’m fine. Even if I don’t talk about my feelings aloud I am getting them out. I’m dealing with Zan’s death but…I need to do it in my own way. And I need you to respect that.”

“Okay,” Isabel agreed slowly, “But what about the rest of it?”

“You mean…going back home?” Max prompted after a surreptitious glance over their shoulders, “Yes. I do still plan to do that so please don’t try to talk me out of it. We keep having the same conversation over and over and it gets us nowhere.”

“Then let me go with you,” Isabel suggested desperately.

Max shook his head defiantly. “You know it would kill Mom and Dad if we both left.”

“Then why does it have to be you,” she demanded in a hissing whisper, “We both know that Khivar wanted me. I’m the one who betrayed our family with him the first time around. Maybe this time I can betray him instead. You shouldn’t have to clean up what I started.”

Max came to a dead stop in the middle of the hallway and gently grasped his sister by the shoulders. “Listen Isabel,” he declared fervidly, “I don’t want you involved in this. Not at all. At least one of us deserves to live out a normal life. So do that for me. You want to help me…be happy. Figure out what college you want to go to, what dress you’re going to wear to prom, how you’ll have your hair styled on graduation day…anything but returning to Antar. It’s not your fight, Isabel. It’s mine.”

Isabel shook out of Max’s light hold. “How am I supposed to think about evening wear and make-up when you and Michael are going on a mission that will probably spell out imminent death for you both,” she asked in a croaking underbreath.

“Larek will protect us,” Max said with complete confidence, “I promise you that Michael and I won’t confront Khivar until the time is right. All these years a war has been fought on my behalf, Isabel. It is way passed time I joined it.”

“But what about your dreams, Max,” she burst out frantically, “Are you still having them?”

“Nearly every night since Zan died,” he confessed.

His answer visibly stressed Isabel. She passed a stretch of the hall in frantic circles. “What if they mean something?” she fretted, “What if you’re in danger, Max?”

“Larek seems to think otherwise,” he replied mildly, “He thinks the dreams are a direct manifestation of my grief and he doesn’t think I should worry. Right now our biggest problem is keeping Khivar in the dark about Tess’ death. If he finds out too soon a trip to Antar won’t be necessary. He’ll send someone here to kill me and that puts everyone I love at risk.”

“How is Larek keeping him from discovering the truth?”

“Larek’s forces have been battling nearly nonstop with Khivar’s army since Tess died,” Max explained, “Khivar hasn’t had the time to check on the progress of his spy. But, as a backup, Larek has located Ava and convinced her to serve as a Tess decoy just in case Khivar gets antsy about what’s going on here on earth.”

“Ava?” Isabel whispered, “Is she back in Roswell? Why didn’t you tell us?”

“She’s not here,” Max replied patiently, “And the reason I haven’t said anything is because she doesn’t want anyone to know. Only Larek knows her location right now and she wants to keep it that way. She doesn’t ever want to be found, Isabel.”

“I don’t understand,” Isabel whispered, “Why is she helping us then?”

“Ava is doing this one last favor for her king and then she plans to wash her hands completely of all things Antarian.” Max expelled a sigh heavy with envy. “I can’t say that I blame her.”

“So you’re really going to do this,” Isabel asked with a lilting sob of disappointment.

“I don’t have a choice anymore, Isabel,” he whispered.

The last of her icy façade crumpling Isabel stepped forward to enfold her brother in a tight hug. “God, Max,” she whimpered, “What am I supposed to do here without you?”

“Live your life and be happy, Iz,” he told her, “Just like I’ve always wanted you to be.”

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Thirty-One

“I was wondering what took you so long,” Liz said wryly when she answered Max’s two a.m. call, “We really need to start talking to each other during the normal hours of the day, Max.”

A little over a week had gone by with them volleying phone calls back and forth. Sometimes Liz would make the clandestine call and sometimes Max would. Their talks would last until the small hours of the morning, sometimes until one of them actually fell asleep mid-sentence. Each would then drag through an exhausting day of school, trading secret smiles and looks only to repeat the cycle all over again that night.

“I had a nightmare,” Max revealed in a whisper, “Do you have some time to talk?”

Liz settled into a more comfortable position and groped for the remote control in the rumpled sheets of her bed. The noise from the television always helped to drown out the fact that she was having a phone conversation at two in the morning. When she had the volume to an appropriate level, Liz said, “You know I do, Max.”

“Good. Will you come over here then?” he beseeched unexpectedly.

It was an invitation he’d never extended before, one that caused Liz’s belly to flutter with nervous tension. She cast a dubious glance at her clock. “Do you mean now?”

“Well, if you can’t--,” Max said, already dismissing the idea. He felt rather foolish for having asked her in the first place. Of course it was a ludicrous proposal and she would never consider--.

“Won’t I wake your parents?” Liz wondered pensively, effectively cutting through Max’s thoughts.

On the other side of the line Max’s features stretched into a trembling smile. “I was actually thinking you’d come by way of my bedroom window,” he clarified matter-of-factly, “It’s kinda past the hour for visitors if you get me.”

Liz emitted a low chuckle. “You wouldn’t be using this as an excuse to take advantage of me, would you, Max?” she joked shakily.

“Of course,” Max replied, playing along, “It’s all the next step in my nefarious plot to bring you under my control. So will you come over or what?”

“Will you feed me?” Liz responded glibly, already kicking away her covers and throwing her legs over the bed’s edge.

“Oh, I guess so,” Max replied in mock irritation.

“Then I’ll be right over.”

As Liz made the drive over to Max’s house she found herself marveling over the newfound amity between them. She’d made no formal decision to trust Max again. After the night he told her of his plans to return to Antar Liz had been sure that any future between them, friendship or otherwise, was dead. But then she’d dreamed about Claudia and when she woke up crying and feeling empty Max had been the first person she’d thought to call. Before she realized it she was dialing his number and everything afterward had just seemed to fall into place naturally.

The change between them had taken place gradually. Their conversations had first revolved solely around their children but ever so slowly the talks were beginning to encompass more and more. Max had begun to dominate her waking hours much the way he had after he’d healed her that day in the Crashdown. Liz would find herself inexplicably locked in daydreams about him and missing the sound of his voice, his altogether rare smile. Without even being conscious of it, she was growing to trust him a little bit more each day, her confidence buoyed incredibly each time he lent her his shoulder.

In some odd way the knowledge that he was leaving made it easier to trust, to give herself over. Liz had no expectations of anything more developing between them. There was absolutely no chance of anything further developing between them and oddly the knowledge served as a safety net for Liz.

She was content to have his friendship, to chat with him on the phone and share her sandwiches at lunch. Because she knew that Max couldn’t stay Liz wasn’t filled with false hopes for the future. She didn’t let herself wish for something that was probably doomed to failure and she was the happier for it. And, she suspected, so was Max. Without all the nervous tension hanging over their heads and constant agonizing over whether or not they belonged together she and Max actually made pretty good friends.

However, in all honesty, Liz had to admit that there was a part of her that wondered if they could become more. There was a part of her yearning to ask him to stay, a part of her that was aching to see if “this,” whatever had sprung up between them again, could lead someplace promising this time. Liz found it odd and altogether frightening how swiftly her feelings were changing for him.

In the beginning, when she first returned to Roswell, Liz had been absolutely sure that she hated Max. Merely looking at him had never failed to fill her with a combustible anger that was nearly impossible to contain. Resentment and fury had formed a chokehold on her so tight that Liz thought the hatred alone might kill her. And yet slowly that burning resentment gradually died down to weary resignation. She hadn’t the will to hate him with such candid fervor any longer but neither did she have any desire to know him either.

She had thought those ambivalent feelings would continue on forever, that she and Max would eventually drift apart into distant acquaintances and finally little more than strangers but then the unthinkable happened. Following her miscarriage and Zan’s death Liz had been seized with the need to reach out to Max, to comfort herself by way of comforting him. Only when it was too late did she recognize how hopelessly entangled her feelings had become. Later she had been unsure if her grief or sorrow for his loss had masked her true feelings for him.

However, it was shortly after they’d had their talk in his car that day that Liz finally admitted the truth to herself. She didn’t want to be apart from Max, far from it. Liz wanted him in her life, however brief. All that time that fact had never wavered. She had been merely afraid of the painful consequences letting him into her heart would bring. Unexpectedly though, the hurt became a worthwhile risk when Liz learned that he was leaving. And Max hadn’t made her regret taking that risk…not yet anyway.

When Liz finally climbed through his bedroom window fifteen minutes later she found Max sitting in the middle of a floor littered with cardboard boxes. “What’s all this?” she asked, scooting around the clutter to drop down beside him, “It looks like your room exploded.”

“I’m sorting through Zan’s clothes,” he explained simply as if it weren’t the least bit odd for him to be attacking that task at two o’clock in the morning, “I think it’s about time.” He paused for a moment to bring one bright, yellow sleeper to his nose and inhaled deeply. “Hmm,” he whispered mournfully, “It still smells like him.”

“May I?” Liz asked tentatively, leaning forward to smell for herself. She closed her eyes as the sweet baby scent flooded her nostrils. “Wow, it really does,” she sighed.

His throat working spasmodically, Max carefully folded the sleeper and laid it in a nearby box. “My mom said that all babies have that smell,” he recounted wistfully, “But I kinda like to think that this was Zan’s own unique scent. It’s like this mix of baby lotion and powder and…pure sweetness. The smell used to get into my clothes whenever I held him. I really miss that smell.”

“Is that why you’ve been holding onto his things?” Liz asked gently.

“It’s like if I give them away I’m really saying good-bye,” he whispered. Max squared his shoulders and blinked back his forming tears. “I need to get a grip,” he muttered, “This isn’t helping anything. I know he’s dead and there’s no use pretending otherwise. The sooner I take care of this the sooner I can move on.”

But his monologue sounded rather like that of a man facing execution and Liz’s heart went out to him. “Do you want a hand?”

Max favored her with a grateful smile. “I’d love one,” he said, “But first…I did promise to feed you, right? I don’t want you to think your trip over here was completely in vain.” As he rolled to his feet Liz followed suit with a laughing groan. On his bed was an entire platter of pepperoni, ham and assorted cheeses. He had also procured a bottle of Tabasco, a couple of sodas and a large slice of chocolate cake.

Liz threw him an incredulous look. “I wasn’t really expecting you to feed me, but even if I had been expecting it a light snack would have definitely sufficed, Max,” she said, “This is more than enough food for four people, let alone two. Is there anything at all left in your mom’s refrigerator?”

“Believe me she expects it,” Max replied with laughing severity, “I’m her son. I’m supposed to eat her out of house and home.”

“You can’t be this hungry,” Liz argued reasonably.

“Well something I’ve learned about myself in the last few months,” Max quipped nonchalantly, “I tend to eat massive amounts of junk when I’m depressed.”

“Oh. I actually prefer ice cream,” Liz replied, straight-faced, “That way you can justify the binging on ridiculous amounts of fat with the excuse that the calcium is building stronger bones. I find it lessens the guilt.”

“I’ll have to try that,” Max said, grinning down at her in open affection but the moment was lost much too soon. “Well…we should probably get started then if we’re going to make any progress with these boxes.”

They folded themselves down onto opposite corners of his bed and nibbled on cold cuts and cheese in companionable silence. The moment was welcome and surreal, almost dreamlike in its perfection. Liz was loath to say anything to spoil it but she was acutely aware of the reason Max had called her over in the first place.

“So,” she began cautiously, “Do you want to talk about your nightmare?”

“Um…not really but…I’ll try,” he mumbled, “I’ve been having it for months now and it’s always unsettled me but tonight…I saw myself in the dream, too… It was like I wasn’t watching it happen to someone else anymore, but that it was happening to me and it felt…very real.”

“I don’t get it,” Liz said, frowning, “What dream?”

Max popped back the top to his soda and took a long draught before answering. “I keep dreaming about the destruction of my planet,” he explained flatly, “More specifically I see it explode and then obliterate the remaining four planets along with it. Tonight was the first time I ever saw myself there among all that chaos, just as terrified and confused as everyone else.”

Liz shivered in reaction to his account, a bizarre, uneasy feeling taking root in her belly. “Do you have any reason to believe this dream is real?” she wondered softly.

“I doubt it,” Max dismissed, “It’s probably my subconscious wanting a quick fix to this whole king business. Wouldn’t my life be so much simpler if the planets just went kablooey? And since I’m planning to leave for Antar in the next few months my fear over that is probably wreaking havoc on my sub-conscious.”

“Probably,” Liz agreed, but she sounded and felt wholly unconvinced.

“Anyway,” Max went on, “after the dreams I’m usually really edgy and I can’t get back to sleep right away. Hence my reason for calling and disrupting your night.”

“I wasn’t asleep when you called,” she revealed in a whisper, “I was actually lying awake in my bed at that precise moment obsessing.”

“Over what?” Max asked, plucking a pepperoni from the platter and popping it into his mouth.

“Over the things I can’t change but, most specifically, our upcoming senior prom,” Liz replied with a despondent sigh, “It’s next weekend, you know.”

“Yep,” Max enunciated in an underbreath, “Indeed I do.” It was evident that the glaring reminder didn’t evoke fond memories for either of them. Max picked at the cracker crumbs on the edge of the platter, deliberately avoiding Liz’s eyes when he asked his next question. “Are you thinking about going?”

“No way,” was Liz’s immediate response, “What about you?”

“Nah, I’m gonna sit it out,” he said, “But I hear Maria managed to talk Michael into another year.”

“Yeah…their plans have gone a lot smoother than last year.”

They momentarily fell into a beat of uncomfortable silence before Max worked up the nerve to ask the question that was really pressing on his mind. “Does it…does it hurt to think about it…prom, I mean?”

Liz didn’t see the use in pretending she didn’t know what he meant. “Yes and no,” she confessed candidly, “I was really happy to go with you last year and…and to feel like we were connecting again but…seeing you kiss Tess at the end of the night did definitely suck. I ended up hanging out with Sean at the bowling alley. Not the most auspicious ending to what I had hoped would be the best night of my life.”

“I imagine,” Max muttered self-deprecatingly, “I wish I could erase that memory for you, Liz, or at least go back in time and do things differently.”

“And what would you have done differently, Max?” Liz asked. She’d meant for her question to be light and teasing but instead it had come out husky and yearning.

Max swallowed hard and captured her eyes in an intense, probing stare. “I would have taken you in my arms and told you that I loved you right there in the middle of the dance floor,” he whispered intently, “And I would have touched her hair because God knows that was all I could think about doing that whole night. I would have kissed you dizzy.” And then his voice dropped even lower, his tone becoming provocative. “And when I finally took you home…I would have asked you to let me make love to you.”

Liz glanced away from him then, her heart thundering hard against her ribs. “Don’t say things like that, Max,” she scolded weakly, “They hurt me.”

“Why?” he asked in a throbbing whisper tempered with self-degradation, “Is it because I kissed Tess instead of doing those things?”

“No,” she denied softly, “It was because I didn’t do those things. You weren’t the only person in our relationship, Max. I was there, too, and I didn’t take any more action than you did. I didn’t take you into my arms and tell you how much I loved you. I didn’t kiss you dizzy or hold you tight. I didn’t ask you to make love to me that night and…I wish I had, Max. I wish I could go back, too.”

Max slowly pushed himself upright, flushed and discomfited with the direction their conversation had taken. On the one hand he was glad to know that Liz regretted the missed opportunities of that night just as much as he did. But on the other hand, the intimate forthrightness between them was stirring feelings within Max that he hadn’t felt in a very long while, feelings that weren’t completely welcome.

Clearing his throat in awkward, self-consciousness, he said, “Well, that was a long time ago. Neither of us can go back and change things now.”

“You’re right,” Liz said gruffly, “What’s that they say about crying over spilled milk and all? So I guess there’s little point in rehashing the past, is there?”

Max inclined his head in a jerky nod. “And maybe that’s best,” he finished, but he didn’t sound like he believed it.

“Maybe,” Liz agreed quietly.

And she didn’t sound anymore convinced than he had.

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Thirty-Two

“Miss Liz Parker, your chariot awaits.”

Liz did a deliberate doubletake when she spotted Max standing out on her balcony, dressed to the nines with a bouquet of white roses in his hand. Her jaw dropped wide. Her first coherent thought was that she looked like hell. Liz was acutely aware that her face was smeared in an unbecoming Mudd facial mask and her hair tied back with a bright, blue kerchief. She was dressed in her pajamas and a ratty pink robe that was dotted with splatters of vanilla ice cream and fudge and mammoth sized, fluffy slippers. Her rumpled ensemble was a definite contrast with Max’s smart black tuxedo and freshly clipped hair.

Without taking her eyes from Max, Liz deliberately clicked off her television and slid from the bed, an empty potato chip bag falling heedlessly from her lap as she did. She drifted over to her window in a mixture of astonishment and discomfiture. “Max,” she greeted slowly, her look clearly transmitting the belief that he’d gone insane, “What are you doing here?”

Max stooped down low so that he and Liz were at eye level. “I’m here to take you to prom,” he revealed simply.

Again Liz found herself questioning his sanity. “Max, I’m not going to prom,” she replied with some asperity, “I told you that the other night…remember?”

“I’m not talking about West Roswell’s prom,” Max clarified with a crooked smile, “This is a special prom planned specifically for you.”

“A prom for me… Max, what did you do?” Liz breathed, her mouth wobbling with the first glimmers of a smile.

“Now that part is a surprise,” he replied impertinently. He thrust the roses at her through the open window. “These are for you,” he indicated inanely, “Put them into some water, wash that,” he paused to grimace at the substance coating her cheeks and forehead, “that ‘stuff’ off your face and then change into something formal. Don’t forget your dancing shoes either.”

“Wait,” she protested, limply cradling the roses, “I can’t just run off with you, Max. I don’t even know where we’re going!”

“Liz, will you please just trust me,” he pleaded, “I have good intentions.”

Liz stared up into his earnest face, wondering if he realized the enormity of what he was asking her. Hanging out in his room and shooting the breeze together was one thing but going out on a date with him was another matter entirely. Liz wasn’t quite sure if she was ready for that sort of intimacy between them.

“It’s not that,” Max reassured her softly, reading the indecisive expression in her eyes, “This isn’t a date. This is just me planning a surprise for my friend…for you, Liz.”

“Max,” Liz said warningly, though her tone lacked true severity, “What are you up to?”

“Go get dressed,” he ordered in a singsong tone, “And you’ll find out.”

“Something formal you say?” Liz asked, tapping her chin in exasperated consideration, “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Try to pick out something that doesn’t clash with my tuxedo, will you?” Max called after her as she sauntered off.

Max waited on the balcony, cooling his heels; so nervous he thought he might become physically sick. His knees were knocking, his palms sweating, his belly doing the most sickening series of dips and rolls. He could barely quell his trepidation. His plan had such marvelous potential for disaster and heart wrenching angst that he could have laughed himself into seizures over it. On the other hand, however, the potential for healing and closure rendered that risk altogether worthwhile.

By the time Liz climbed through her window Max was looking out over the street below, his mind racing with a hundred different outcomes and scenarios for the evening. He was so preoccupied with worry that he didn’t hear her approach until the soft whispering of his name stretched through the darkness and tickled his ears. Max turned around to greet her with a ready smile but the jaunty response he had planned died on his lips when he saw her.

She was dressed in a simple, spaghetti strapped red dress that hugged her breasts and torso but fell away from her hips in wide, geometric pieces of red lace. Her thick hair was tied back in a stylishly smart bun, with only a few rebellious tendrils having escaped confinement to frame her lovely face. Max physically ached beholding her. He tingled from head to toe with the overwhelming need to touch her but steadfastly resisted the compulsion and, instead, remained rooted in place.

“So?” Liz prodded softly when he said nothing, “Do I clash?”

Her innocent question went a long way in helping Max to regain his head. “You’re perfect,” he whispered with a longing smile. He stepped forward and offered her his arm with formal flourish. “Shall we go?”

Liz laughed at his formality and looped her arm with his. “We shall.”

She was further surprised when they shimmied down into the alley and, instead of Max’s car, she found a sleek, black limousine waiting in its place. Liz was immediately aware of just how much effort Max had put into planning this evening for her. “I can’t believe you went through all this trouble,” she gushed as he opened the door for her, “Why are you doing this, Max?”

“Because you deserve the best, Liz,” Max answered quietly.

Inside the limousine Liz couldn’t get over all the little gadgets and buttons she discovered. Her giddy fascination rather reminded Max of a small child who had just entered a toy store for the first time. Liz opened the moon roof. She closed the moon roof. She raised the partition. She lowered the partition, punctuating each act with a jaunty wave at the driver. She activated the turn style for the bar and then promptly deactivated it. Liz punched and pressed and clicked until Max thought he would burst out laughing just watching her.

With unconcealed amusement, he lounged back in his seat to regard her in open fascination. “Having fun?” he ventured when she actually climbed up onto the seat to poke her head through the skylight.

“Come up here, Max,” Liz invited in awe, “It’s amazing…a total adrenaline rush!”

“No, thank you,” Max replied, “I have no desire to become a hood ornament tonight.”

Liz fell down beside him with a disappointed huff. “You have no sense of adventure,” she admonished lightly.

“My whole life is an adventure,” Max countered ironically, “I’m rather looking forward to spending a quiet, predictable evening for a change.” With you, he added silently in his heart.

“So where are we going tonight?” Liz asked with unconcealed happiness.

“Someplace special,” he replied vaguely.

“Won’t you give me a little hint,” she wheedled.

“I already did,” Max said, “The place we’re going is incredibly special to me and I wanted to share it with you.”

A few minutes later they arrived and Liz assimilated their surroundings with a crushing sense of confused disappointment. “Your special place is the Roswell Community Park?” she queried dubiously.

Rather than being offended by her reaction Max merely chuckled softly. “Give it a chance,” he cajoled, pulling her from the limo, “I used to spend time with Zan here a lot. He loved to feed the ducks.” A strange look passed over his face as he remembered, reflective and amused. “He also liked to change the color of their feathers, which was a hard thing to explain to passersby,” he recalled with a nostalgic laugh, “Boy…that was some kid I had.”

“Where would you sit with him?” Liz asked gently.

Max looked down at her, an odd gleam in his eyes. “I’ll show you,” he offered, reaching out for her hand. Liz stared down at his outstretched palm less than a second before she placed her fingers trustingly in his hand. “Let’s go,” he said.

To Liz they seemed to walk on forever, diverging from the beaten path and disappearing deeper into the foliage and brush. Liz was beginning to sincerely regret wearing her high-heeled sandals when she discovered the exact reason Max had taken them for a mini hike. A small clearing had been prepared for their arrival, complete with paper machete lanterns strung from the small shrubs and a picnic blanket and basket. The flickering flames of candlelight revealed carefully placed china and crystal. Tiny flames winked in the darkness, dancing on the flawless surface of the dishes and bouncing up into the night.

Liz looked up at Max with tear-brightened eyes. “How long have you been planning this?” she whispered.

“Since our conversation last week,” he confessed, “Maybe longer.”

“Why?” Liz asked in tender disbelief, “Why would you do this?”

“I told you already,” Max murmured, “Because you deserve it and because I wanted to try and make at least one thing up to you.” He pulled her deeper into the clearing so that they stood on a little patch of turf he’d designated as a dance floor. “Shall we dance?” he requested sweetly.

Liz giggled at the invitation. “There’s no music, Max,” she reasoned.

“Now do you really think I would come so woefully unprepared,” he scolded softly, “Tsk, tsk, Parker. Of course I provided music.” He then produced a small remote control from the lapel of his jacket and clicked to life a heretofore-unseen radio. The mellow tones of David Gray melted into the air. Max then leveled Liz with a superior look. “I’ve thought of everything,” he informed her proudly.

“Indeed you have,” Liz agreed.

“Then dance with me, please,” he invited with a gamin grin, “Reward my hard work.”

They drifted together just as the first strains of “My Oh My” began. At first awkward and unsure, but gradually the two melded against one another and allowed the tentative connection to bloom forth. Together they fell into the music, into each other, swaying, caught up in the melody, caught up and becoming one…

In that stunning moment there existed no recrimination between them, no regrets and no apologies, no memories of the painful significance the song had once held for them both. They were merely Max and Liz, two friends dancing with one another under the stars. Max smiled down into Liz’s upturned face and she smiled back and for that timeless time they were the only two people in the world.

Before they realized it they had danced through the remainder of the cd having been lulled to a place that was all their own. When the music finally died they fell away from each other, their hearts inexplicably ripped apart and left exposed, vulnerable. Yet, conversely, they were healed as well.

As reality gradually came to reassert itself, Liz realized that she had lost her shoes at some point. They lay next to the small pile of Max’s shoes and tuxedo jacket. Also sometime during their dance her hair had been loosed from its bun and was now flowing freely down her back and over her shoulders. Liz couldn’t remember if she had been the one to remove her clip or if Max had.

Feeling incontrovertibly nervous and afraid all of a sudden, Liz dropped down onto the blanket and folded her legs beneath her, eyes downcast. “I haven’t listened to that cd in a long time,” she murmured, “Not since that song was playing on the radio when you…when you told me about Tess.”

“I remember,” Max said as he folded down beside her, “I guess that’s why I picked it for tonight. I wanted this to be a new beginning for us.” He reached for the bottle of sparkling grape juice and filled the two crystal glasses before passing one to Liz. They clinked their glasses together in toast. “To new beginnings,” he said.

Without warning Liz’s smile faltered and she set aside her glass, untouched. “But you’re leaving in a couple of months, Max,” she reminded him glumly, “How much of a new beginning can we have?”

“Just because I leave doesn’t mean our friendship has to end, Liz,” Max reasoned, “I do believe we had this same conversation a while back.”

“And we never came up with a solution then either,” Liz threw back smartly.

“Didn’t we?”

“Max, it’s not like you’re going off to another state or even visiting Europe for the summer,” Liz replied, “You are leaving the planet, as in leaving earth’s atmosphere altogether and traveling millions of light years to another galaxy. You act like you’re going for a tuna melt somewhere.”

“I guess being blasé about it is the only way I can wrap my brain around actually going through with the plan,” he replied openly.

“Then why are you doing it?” Liz wondered, “You obviously have reservations.”

“Of course I do,” Max agreed, “This is my home…really the only one I’ve ever known or wanted to know. My friends and family are here. Zan’s here. I don’t want to go. But what happens if I stay,” he considered before Liz could interject, “What if Khivar makes another attempt on my life and this time it’s Isabel caught in the crosshairs or Michael or you? I couldn’t live with myself, Liz. I’m leaving to protect us all.”

“Have you ever stopped to think that maybe you’re the one who needs protecting?”

“I can take care of myself,” Max replied dismissively.

“And what if you don’t come back?” Liz queried, wanting to ignore the niggling question but unable to keep herself from asking it aloud either. “What are we supposed to do?”

Evidently, Max wasn’t anymore eager to hear the question than Liz had been to ask it. Really it wasn’t anything that Max hadn’t already asked himself one hundred times over, but it was never a possibility he let himself dwell on very long. Before he hadn’t thought about it because he simply hadn’t cared. And now Max didn’t think about it because he was slowly coming to recognize the significant treasures that might be lost if he didn’t return, most importantly his burgeoning friendship with the beautiful, brave young woman lying beside him.

“Can we please talk about something else,” he implored, taking hold of Liz’s arm and twisting her down onto the blanket so that they lay side by side, “I don’t leave for some time yet and… Tonight is supposed to be about you, Liz.”

Liz sighed, knowing that she wouldn’t fight him about it though it was a battle with her conscience not to. She knew she would only succeed in ruining the evening Max had worked so hard to organize if she pushed him. In the end, Liz scooted more closely against Max’s side and stared up into the black, starry night sky. “So what did you pack in that picnic basket, huh? It looks pretty full.”

“It’s not nearly as glamorous as it looks,” Max confessed sheepishly.

“Why?” Liz asked, “What’s in it?”

“Fried chicken,” he revealed dolefully, “Just fried chicken and I fried it myself, too. I had planned on making you an entire meal but the chicken proved to be a bigger project than I imagined. I’d show you my war wounds but I was a wimp and had to heal them.”

Liz snickered though she tried hard to stifle it. To her knowledge Max had very limited skills in the kitchen, if he had any at all. “You fried chicken for me?” she queried, “And you didn’t use your powers at all? No…” She waved her hand in question. Max shook his head. “Hmm….” she considered with the faint beginnings of a smile, “So can I expect this chicken to be cooked through thoroughly then?”

“Hey, I made it, didn’t I,” he grouched good-naturedly, “Does it have to be done, too?”

“One word, Max,” Liz replied, “Salmonella. Your chicken is most likely lethal.”

“Hah. Hah,” he retorted dryly, nudging her with his shoulder, “Stop teasing me. I did something good.”

“Yeah, you did,” Liz sighed in happy agreement, “Thank you for doing this, Max.”

He shifted over onto his side then, propping himself up onto his elbow so that he could smile down into her moonlit face. “Happy prom night, Liz.”

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Thirty-Three

“So I’m assuming you’re going to the Crashdown graduation party tonight.”

“And why would you assume that?” Max questioned drolly when his sister sauntered into his bedroom uninvited and threw herself across the foot of his bed.

Isabel rolled her eyes with an exasperated sigh. “Do I have “fool” stamped across my forehead or something?” she snorted, “I hear you on the phone at night, Max. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out who you’ve been talking to. I just wonder if she knows that you plan to leave the planet in a few months.”

Max shot Isabel a warning look over the top of the magazine he’d been perusing prior to her entrance. “Yes,” he revealed smugly, “She does know and we’ve made our peace about it.”

Isabel slowly swung upright, her beautiful face frozen in an incredulous mask. “I don’t believe you,” she uttered, “Liz would never just stand by and let you go through with this…this craziness!”

“Liz isn’t letting me do anything,” Max clarified crisply, “She respects my decision to leave even if she doesn’t understand it. You might try following her example and stop bullying me about it.”

“I’m not bullying you, Max,” Isabel denied, “I’m trying to talk sense into your idiotic head.”

“Well, do me and my idiotic head a favor. Please stop,” Max replied dryly, burying his nose back in his magazine.

“Okay, so what’s going on with you and Liz?” Isabel asked, promptly skipping on to her next topic of discussion with relative ease, “Are you two dating again?”

With a snort of disgust Max tossed his magazine aside and shifted up against his pillows to regard his impudent sister. “Isabel,” he sighed in long-suffering, “You’re graduating tonight. Don’t you have enough to occupy your time without becoming engrossed in my personal life?”

“Tell me what’s going on,” Isabel insisted in a whine.

“Liz and I are friends,” Max replied, rolling from the bed and crossing over to his closet, “End of mystery. Now will you leave so I can get dressed?”

Isabel twisted around to level him with a dubious frown. “You’re just friends?”

“Yeah, you know…buddies….pals…road dawgs…” Max tossed back pithily.

“Road dawgs?”

Max pivoted to face his sister, swallowing back his laughter when he glimpsed her befuddled expression. “There is absolutely nothing romantic going on between Liz and me, Isabel,” he declared bluntly, “That’s not even where my head is right now.”

“Are you telling me that you’ve never even thought about it,” Isabel grilled him.

“I’ll admit that it has crossed my mind once or twice but,” he added quickly before Isabel could launch into her self-satisfied, know-it-all response, “it’s not going to happen. Aside from the fact that Liz just barely trusts me I’m really not ready to be in another relationship. Being friends with her is enough for me.”

“But…But you’re in love with her, Max,” Isabel sputtered inanely.

“And she scares me,” Max revealed in a trembling whisper, “I think I scare her, too.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Look, Liz and I have this…this unspoken thing between us,” he explained as he turned to rummage through his closet for a dress shirt, “Neither of us has any expectations beyond friendship. We’re just not going there. She knows I’m leaving in a few months so we’ve adapted our friendship to that. I mean…I’m going to miss her when I’m gone and I’m pretty sure that she’ll miss me but it’s not going to devastate us…not like it would if we were still together. And you’re not even taking into account all the emotional baggage that would come with trying to rebuild our relationship. It’s really better this way, Isabel. I like it this way,” he finished definitively.

“Who exactly are you trying to convince, Max?” Isabel whispered, “Me or yourself?”

**********

The Crashdown was so crowded that Max expected he could slip in through the entrance unnoticed. After his conversation with Isabel that morning all Max wanted to do was blend into a corner and be forgotten. That goal was highly doable considering the horde around him. Despite the fact that most of the Crashdown patrons were his peers, people he had graduated with that very evening, Max knew he could move among them like an apparition. They wouldn’t see him. He was just as invisible to them as he’d always been. But not to Liz Parker. He had never been invisible to her and that was the very reason she spotted him almost the second the Crashdown bells sounded his entrance.

“Hi!” she piped just as Max had found his nice, dark corner to lurk in, “Why are you way over here? The gang’s on the other side of the café.”

“Liz, you know me,” Max protested, resisting when she tried to pull him from the corner, “I’m not really big on crowds.”

“Max, we’re talking about your friends,” Liz argued, “Everyone’s waiting for you.”

“I don’t know,” he hedged carefully, “I feel uncomfortable. Maria’s not talking to me. Kyle and I only grunt at each other and you know what a limited conversationalist Michael is. That only leaves you and Isabel and I really have no desire to spend my evening debating over which nail polish shade is more ‘in.’ I’m a guy. I have standards.” He was made so nervous by her proximity, as well as her amused smile that Max found himself babbling. “And what if your parents see me…your dad in particular? I’m not his favorite person, you know. Things could get very ugly, very fast. Is that what you want?”

“Don’t worry about my parents,” Liz soothed, “This is a party for West Roswell graduating seniors, which is exactly what you are. They can’t very well exclude you, Max.”

“You’ll probably still be singing that same tune when you father throws me out on my ass,” Max retorted dryly.

Liz plunked her hands on her hips in a scolding stance. “So you’re just going to stay in this corner all night long, is that it?”

“I’m pretty content here,” Max replied cheekily, “The punch bowl’s not far and I’m first in line for the snack table. I can’t lose.”

“Fine,” Liz relented, folding her arms over her chest; “I’ll just stay here with you then.”

As Liz expected Max was wholly unsatisfied with her offer. “No, Liz,” he protested quickly, “There isn’t any reason for you to miss out on your own graduation party on my account. Go have fun.”

“I’m not going without you,” she insisted stubbornly, “Tell me why you’re avoiding your friends, Max.”

“I’m not av--,”

“Liar,” she interrupted smoothly, “Now tell me!”

“Liz, can you please just drop thi--,”

“Tell me,” she ordered ominously.

“All right! All right!” he cried, throwing up his hands in surrender, “Just please stop making the evil face.” Liz relaxed her stance and backed off him a few steps. “Okay,” Max sighed, “The thing is that I can’t take how everyone is tiptoeing around me these days. Zan has been dead for a month now and yet I feel like everybody is just waiting for me to fall apart or flip out or something. I feel like I’m under a microscope.”

“They’re worried about you, Max,” Liz replied softly, “They’re terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing.”

“There is no ‘wrong’ thing,” Max muttered.

“Then tell them that,” Liz cried in exasperation. She yanked hold of his forearm and forcibly dragged him from his hiding place, nudging him kindly but firmly in the direction of their friends. When they reached the table four faces lit with varying expressions of amusement, surprise, indifference and relief.

“I was beginning to worry about you,” Isabel said, standing to greet her brother, “What took you so long?”

“I couldn’t find a decent parking space,” Max replied and it was partly true, “It’s a zoo out there.”

“Yeah,” Liz agreed, “I wasn’t expecting nearly so many people to show up. Half these people don’t even know my name. I’m just that geeky science chick who’s always on the honor roll.”

“If there is a party…they will come,” Maria interjected dryly.

“Hail the conquering graduate,” Michael congratulated as Max squeezed into the booth beside him. He clapped his friend proudly on the shoulder. “Way to go, man.”

Max didn’t know quite how to respond in light of the fact Michael hadn’t graduated with them that evening. He didn’t even have the option of fulfilling his curriculum requirements in the summer like Liz did. As far as graduating high school in the near future went Michael Guerin was pretty much screwed.

Easily reading the discomfort on Max’s face, Michael said, “Don’t sweat it. I’m not. It’s not like I was planning to go to college or anything. That’s not for me.”

“Well, college doesn’t look like it’s in my near future either,” Max muttered, “So that makes two of us.”

“Excuse me,” Maria suddenly mumbled; shoving against Liz so that she could exit the booth, “I need to get some air.”

“I’ll go after her,” Liz offered, already sliding from the booth in pursuit. The last thing she heard as she left the table was Max asking, rather clueless, “What did I say?”

Liz found Maria huddled in the servers’ break room bawling her eyes out. With a small cry, she rushed over to her fallen friend and began stroking Maria’s heaving back. “Maria, tell me what’s wrong,” she pleaded, “Why are you crying like this? I thought you’d be happy tonight of all nights.”

Maria looked up at her with red-rimmed eyes. “I…I…I…I can’t talk about it,” she sobbed incoherently.

Liz patiently brushed back the clinging tendrils of her from Maria’s mottled face. “Just take a breath or you’ll make yourself sick,” she advised soothingly, “Tell me what happened.” Belying her calm and comforting tone, however, Liz was already making a mental note to kick Michael Guerin’s ass. She hadn’t been oblivious to the cold silence Maria had been giving him all night. “What did he do this time?” she asked Maria without preamble.

“He…He…He asked me to marry him!” Maria wailed plaintively.

All plans for murder fled Liz’s brain as she regarded her weeping friend in utter shock. “Are you serious?”

Maria nodded. “He asked me the other night…at prom.” She reached down into her shirt and pulled free a thin, silver chain. Dangling from the end was a platinum engagement ring. The stone wasn’t incredibly large but it was undeniably exquisite, a princess cut sparkling and winking brilliantly in the dimness.

Liz reached forward to touch it, bringing the ring closer for a more scrutinizing study. It was even more beautiful up close. “I don’t believe it,” she breathed with an awestruck look at Maria, “What did you say?”

“I threw my shoe at him,” Maria confessed hoarsely, “Well, both of them actually. And then I threw this at him, too.”

“Oh Maria, why?” Liz sighed in disappointment.

Maria carefully concealed the engagement ring once more before answering. “Liz, don’t you get it,” she ground out, “This was just a pity proposal. Michael doesn’t even know if he’s coming back. He made a promise to me he knew he wouldn’t have to keep.”

“Or maybe he made one he was determined to keep,” Liz countered softly, “Did you ever think about that?”

The vacillating look on Maria’s face told Liz that she had thought of that though she did make a production of vehement denial. “This is Michael Guerin we’re talking about, Liz,” Maria replied with a sniffle, “Mr. Insensitive himself. He does not do things like this without serious prodding and, even when he does, he most always screws it up. No. He was being a dick like he’s always being a dick.”

“Well if you believe that,” Liz reasoned practically, “Then why’d you keep the ring?”

“Is she alright?” Max asked worriedly when Liz and Maria returned to the booth a long time later. Both girls looked as if they had shed a few tears during their absence but Maria immediately went off in search of Michael, who had disappeared a few minutes after Maria left, so Max sincerely hoped things were better.

“She’ll be fine,” Liz reassured him, “She and Michael just need to talk some things out.”

“That’s good,” Max said though he had some serious doubts about the merits of conversation. Michael had been in a pretty surly mood before he left. Improvement didn’t seem very likely.

“So where is everyone?” Liz asked, glancing around the table and realizing for the first time that only she and Max occupied the booth.

“Kyle and Isabel went to grab something from the refreshment table and Michael is off brooding somewhere as you already know.”

“I guess that just leaves the two of us then,” Liz sighed expansively.

“I guess so.”

“Would you like to dance?” Liz asked him suddenly.

Max was both flattered and flustered by the invitation. But before refusing offhand, he listened a moment to the fast paced dance beat being played and then decided against it. He had never been any good at keeping time with the rhythm. “Nah,” he said, shaking his head, “I should sit this one out.”

“Come on, Max,” Liz coaxed, already slipping around to his side of the table to pull him to his feet, “Don’t be a chicken. Just follow my lead.”

Out on the dance floor Liz moved fluidly, swinging her hips provocatively in time to the music. She took hold of his hands and placed them on her hips in an effort to teach him what rhythm to follow. All too soon, however, Max lost his concentration on the steps, quickly becoming infatuated with the facile gyrations of Liz’s body. She danced with her eyes closed, as if she were giving her whole self over to the music. Her movements were smooth, slow, and very…sensual.

Max caught the direction of his thoughts just as his body began stirring in response. Horrified, he reared back from her, feeling as if he’d been doused in the face with cold water. Feeling him shove away from her, Liz popped her eyes open just in time to see the rapid draining of color from his face. She became instantly alarmed. “Max, what is it?” she asked worriedly, “What’s wrong?”

“I forgot I have something to do,” he muttered, stumbling back several steps, “I have to go, Liz. I’m sorry.” And then he turned on his heel and left her there. Max didn’t stop running until he reached the outside and the cold desert air was wafting against his fevered skin. Shaking all over, he dropped down onto the street curb and buried his face in his hands with a tortured groan.

“Mud,” Michael’s voice sounded above him.

Max lifted his head wearily. “What are you talking about?”

“Think of mud,” he said again.

“Michael, please,” Max groaned miserably.

“I know that look, Maxwell,” his friend went on sagely, “Sexual frustration can be a killer. I know better than anyone. Maria DeLuca is my girlfriend or…er…she was…anyway, she’s a master at using sex as a weapon. So think of mud. Gooey, clumpy, disgusting mud. I’m telling you it works.”

“I’m not sexually frustrated, Michael,” Max replied dryly.

“Like hell,” Michael snorted.

“It’s not what you’re thinking okay!” Max exploded hotly. He then hissed out a sizzling swear that shocked even Michael. “This is crap! My life is crap! Just when everything is starting to make sense between Liz and me again, my stupid body has to go and complicate it all to hell!” He bit out another series of stinging curses. “I gotta go home,” he ground out in frustration, abruptly shoving to his feet. As he started off in the direction of his car he called back to Michael. “You should probably know that Maria’s in there looking for you. Go make things right.”

“Hey Maxwell, are you okay?” Michael called after him, torn between going after Maria and going after Max.

In the end, Max made Michael’s choice quite simple when jumped into his car and sped off into the night.

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Thirty-Four

He reminded her of an elegant dancer performing some unknown dramatic ballet. Max spun his body sinuously across the terrain, using his powers to control the wind and dust so that the elements mimicked his every twist and lunge. The muscles in his back flexed and bunched with every contortion, glistening with tiny dots of perspiration in the hot May sun. Liz’s mouth went dry at the sight of him. She had never seen anything so magnificent in her entire life. He was so beautiful, in fact, that she could almost forget she was furious with him.

“How long have you been able to do that?” she asked loudly.

The moment she spoke his concentration was broken. The wind immediately ceased in it’s controlled fury and the dust frozen mid-air and fell to the ground in a billowing clump. Max spun around, a tongue lashing on the edge of his lips but his annoyance died the moment he realized who had interrupted him. Instantly self-conscious and puffing with exertion Max bent to retrieve his shirt and slipped it over his head. “Liz,” he greeted breathlessly, “What are you doing here?”

“I came to find out exactly why you left me on the dance floor last night,” Liz returned succinctly. Though she had cooled down a great deal from the night before Liz was still a long way from being calm. She had reached the end of her patience with Max and he was hanging on with her by a very thin thread.

Max could see that and he groaned inwardly. Really he didn’t have an appropriate response for her, nothing, at least, that would not sound incredibly lame if voiced aloud. He’d conjured up dozens of excuses the night before as he lay in his bed but none of them seemed adequate enough. There was no hard and fast explanation he could give her and Max was much too humiliated to tell her the truth so he just stood there and stared at her in blank misery.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Liz demanded testily.

“I’m sorry,” Max offered.

“That’s not going to cut it this time, Max,” she replied evenly, “I’ve had about all I can stand of being your welcome mat. So either you can be straight with me right now or I’m walking.”

“Liz, I--,”

“You have ten seconds,” she declared.

“Liz, please understand--,”

“No!” she snapped ferociously, “I’m tired of ‘understanding’ why you do the things you do, Max! I’m tired of second-guessing your moves and ferreting out your motives. A friendship shouldn’t be this hard. I shouldn’t be left wondering what’s going on with you all the time. You say you want to be friends but then you don’t talk to me! I call you but you won’t answer the phone. I don’t get it. What’s the matter with you?”

“I promise you’re making a bigger deal out of this than needed, Liz,” Max soothed, “Trust me when I tell you that it’s not what you’re thinking.”

“Trust you?” she snorted scornfully, “Trust you? I’ve done nothing but trust you, Max! And it’s always a kick in the teeth! You’d think I would learn my lesson by now! You’d think I’d buy a clue! But noooo…I’m still so eager to believe you when you say you’ve changed and--!”

“I have changed,” he insisted.

“Two seconds, Max,” Liz retorted shortly.

“Please, Liz…it’s not what you’re thinking,” Max said again.

“Then tell me what the hell it is!” Liz shouted in frustration.

“I had a reaction to you, alright!” Max shouted right back, “There! Are you happy?”

All of Liz’s righteous fury sizzled out as she was gradually seized by the desire to laugh herself stupid. “You what?” she guffawed.

“Last night when we were dancing together,” Max explained in a despondent underbreath, his eyes purposely averted, “I got hard.”

Liz pressed her hand over her mouth, her cheeks suffusing with color. “Oh my…” she hiccupped in a choked giggle, “I…I didn’t know.”

“Yuh…exactly,” he muttered, flushing an even brighter red when he noted her reticent laughter, “That’s why I left okay. I was…I was embarrassed and I was mad at myself…not you. And it’s not funny, dammit!”

“Of course not,” Liz agreed, straight-faced, “But why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Why?” Max burst out incredulously.

“Yes why?” she emphasized tentatively, “It’s a natural reaction…what I mean is…well… Considering what we’ve been to each other…I mean the…er…nature of our relationship… Well, I’m not surprised that you still think of me in that way.”

“But we’re friends,” Max argued weakly, “We both agreed that was all there would be and…I just feel like my body betrayed me or something. I feel weird about the whole thing.”

“Max, it’s not a big deal,” Liz replied with a dismissive wave, “I mean we were dancing pretty close and I’m assuming it’s been a while for you,” she brazened on, hoping that she managed to look as blasé as she sounded, “It happens to everyone I’m sure.”

“Does it happen to you?”

“To me?” Liz echoed with an audible gulp.

“Yeah,” Max queried softly, “Do you still think of me in that way sometimes?”

Now it was her turn to blush ten shades of red. Liz stared down at the ground beneath her feet, wondering how their conversation had changed so fast. Only a few seconds ago she had been calmly furious and now she felt girlishly flustered. Her tummy fluttered and her heart pumped in her chest like a mini jackhammer. Max Evans was the only person alive who could twist her emotions so thoroughly. She told him so. “Which is to say…yes,” Liz sighed in conclusion, “Yes, I do think of you that way sometimes. But it’s just a residual thing, Max. We share a lot of history. It doesn’t have to be a big deal,” she added quickly, if not unconvincingly, “It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

“Yeah…right,” Max parroted with a bobbing nod, “It was just a natural reaction…a residual response.”

“Totally natural,” Liz declared woodenly. As she was growing increasingly more uncomfortable with the topic of choice Liz decided it was time to switch the vein of the conversation. “So what was that you were doing just now when I arrived?”

“Oh that?” Max queried, catching on swiftly to her intention and jumping on the bandwagon with eager relief, “Larek calls it a mimic.”

“A mimic? What’s that?”

“It’s when you control the elements to make them do what you do,” Max explained, “You can make them mimic the movements of your body, the commands of your will. It’s an amazing ability but it takes a great deal of concentration to hold it and the slightest noise usually throws me off. That’s why I like to practice doing it alone.”

“Is that what you plan to use against Khivar?” Liz asked without thinking.

Max’s feature hardened into an inscrutable mask. “I’m going to kill him, Liz,” he declared curtly, “or die trying.” He made the statement so fiercely, so unequivocally that Liz couldn’t repress her answering shudder.

Having no response to that at all, Liz stammered, “Well…well I see how that ability might help you accomplish that goal.”

Aware that she was uncomfortable Max endeavored to soften the tone of their exchange. “It was really hard to learn, too,” he told her, “It’s taken me months to master the short display you saw. I still have a hard time blocking out sound to hold it though.”

“It was still impressive…what I saw,” Liz commended, “What else can you do, Max?”

He smiled, boyishly pleased that she was even interested enough to ask. That smile grew considerably as he deliberately passed his hand over his face. When he revealed himself to her again his features were drastically altered. The Max Evans she’d known all her life was gone and replaced with a stranger. His mouth was wider, his nose longer, and even his ears were remarkably smaller. He had lightened his hair to a sandy brown and had even splattered freckles across his nose and cheekbones for effect. Only his eyes remained the same. Though he had darkened their color to a rich, chocolate brown, they still maintained their same piercing directness, as if he were staring down into her soul.

Liz lifted a trembling hand to touch the ridge of his cheekbone. He felt warm…and real. “That’s amazing,” she gasped in wonder. They stared into each other’s eyes for a time, exchanging wistful smiles. Liz became aware then that she was lingering in her exploration of his face and quickly let her hand fall away.

Masking his disappointment at the loss of her touch, Max shook his head, scattering the changes away as if they had been merely painted on. “I can only make subtle changes,” he said, “I can’t alter basic bone structure, but cartilage…well, I can have a field day with that. If I ever have to go on the run from the law I can do my own plastic surgery.”

“Wow, Max,” Liz said, “It looks like you’ve learned a lot in the last year.”

For some inexplicable reason her statement caused his smile to fade abruptly. “Not enough to save my son or your baby,” Max replied grimly, “But you’re right. I have learned a great deal. Larek is a very efficient teacher.”

“Max, I--,”

“Sometimes I just don’t get it,” he muttered in lamentation, “It’s like some great cosmic joke. I have these grand, phenomenal powers…almost miraculous if you will and I can’t save the lives of two innocent children.”

“Don’t blame yourself for that,” Liz whispered, “It’s not your fault. When will you believe that?”

“I’m working on it,” he said with a smile, but it didn’t quite touch his eyes, “Is there anything else I can show you?”

“No. I think you’ve dazzled me enough for one day, but…I have learned to do a few tricks myself,” Liz revealed in hopes of lightening the dark mood that had fallen over him, “Would you like to see?”

Max shoved his hands into the pockets of his baggy Dockers. “Why not?” he replied gamely.

Liz stooped down to scooped up a palm full of dust. “Now try to keep in mind that I’ve only been practicing this for a little while,” she prefaced as she straightened. Max nodded gravely and waited for her to begin, watching the small pile of dirt in her palm intensely.

At first nothing happened. Max was careful to keep his face perfectly blank because he didn’t want to discourage her efforts. However, he could see her growing increasingly more frustrated as the minutes passed. Liz bit her lip in concentration, a thin sheen of perspiration breaking out over her flushed face and still she did not quit. Max was about to suggest she show him something else when he noted finally the faint glow of her hand as the dust in her palm began to rotate.

It started slowly, but then gained momentum, spinning faster and faster until it formed a perfect circle of dust orbiting effortlessly in the palm of her hand. “You taught yourself to do that?” Max said, his astonishment and approval evident in his tone, “That’s unbelievable, Liz.”

“And that’s not all,” she added proudly, closing her eyes as concentrated her efforts once more. This time results didn’t take as long. The tiny dust particles began to crystallize and converge until they formed a tiny glass sphere. When she was done Liz let out a gasping breath and the glass ball fell still in her hand. She threw Max a triumphant smile expecting his commendation but receiving only a worried frown instead. Max fumbled around in his pocket and a moment later he pressed a handkerchief into her free hand. Liz stared at him, puzzled.

“You have a nosebleed,” he said.

“Oh…man,” Liz cried in surprise, dropping the ball to the ground as she quickly tried to staunch the blood flow. She felt mortified, having attempted to show off to Max but instead succeeding in making a fool of herself. “I’m so embarrassed,” she groaned as she tipped back her head in an effort to keep the blood from dribbling down her lips.

“Here, lean forward,” Max instructed gently, stroking her back in small circles as he did, “Now squeeze the bridge of your nose. That will help stop the bleeding.” He lovingly held her hair back from her face while she did as he directed. “Does this sort of thing happen often?” he asked gently when most of the bleeding stopped.

“Not very often,” Liz replied sheepishly. She started to pass the bloodied handkerchief back to him, but then snatched it back when she realized what she was doing.

“Give it to me,” Max said. When she did he swiped his hand over the soiled linen, dissolving the blood, and then stuffed it back into his pocket. “You were concentrating too hard,” he scolded, “That’s a dangerous thing to do, Liz. Michael used to do the same thing and Larek always warned him against it. You shouldn’t force your abilities. If something is proving difficult for you just move on to the next thing. It’s all about control; whether you do a big thing or a little thing you’re still learning control, Liz. Don’t push so hard.”

Rather than being affronted by his admonishment Liz appeared grateful and interested instead. “Then teach me,’ she tossed back eagerly, “Teach me to do it the right way.”

He glanced down at her, taken aback by her sudden request. “Are…are you sure?” he queried carefully, “I…I thought you didn’t want that.”

“I’ve changed my mind…again. Obviously I can’t do it on my own and I want to learn, Max,” she said, “You’re the only one I would want to teach me.”

“But I won’t be here for very long, Liz,” he protested, “There’s only so much that I can teach you in that time.”

“Then I guess we’d better get started,” Liz replied, not the least bit discouraged by his answer, “The first thing I want to learn is how to control my powers without getting a nosebleed.”

[Deejonaise]

Hey, it's me. First I want to thank everyone who voted for me in the fanfic awards. It always feels weird when I win something because I'm always thinking, "Is this for me?" Anyway that you all so much. Your support and readership means a great deal. I wish I could say something bigger and better than just a measly "thank you" but please know that it comes from my heart. I *heart* you guys!

Now, as for this fic, I'll be back with the new part in a few minutes. I just wanted to go ahead and take the opportunity to thank all of you first, posters and lurkers both!

Dee



Chapter Thirty-Five

Liz Parker June, 2002

I’m thinking it should be a sin to be this happy.

By all intents and purposes I have no reason to be. My life is a quagmire of uncertainty right now. I’ve yet to hear back from the Harvard registrar concerning my application for the Fall semester. My summer will be spent quite miserably, divided between my duties at the Crashdown and my summer school classes. And, in the meantime, I’ve been having the weirdest visions of my dead almost daughter, who comes to me in my dreams to warn me of impending doom. I’ve got serious problems and yet I can’t wipe the insipid grin of happiness from my face.

What’s most alarming is that my good feeling doesn’t spring from the knowledge that my best friend is getting married. Nor is it motivated by my newly found ability to alter my face with the use of my powers. It isn’t even because my mom and I are finally getting along.

Nope, nope and nope. The reason I’m so giddy, the reason I can’t sit still these days is quite simple actually.

I think I’m falling in love.

**********

“Isabel Evans is driving me crazy!”

Liz slammed her journal shut with a start when Maria barged into her room with all the impetus of an enraged pixie, her blond hair bristling about her face like a halo. “What happened now?” Liz asked carefully, slowly swinging upright and shoving her journal beneath her pillows as she did.

Maria flopped down across the bed to bewail her woe in typical fashion. “Okay, first…she’s all of a sudden appointed herself as my wedding coordinator. All week long she’s been pestering me about dresses and flowers and cake and caterers,” Maria cried in exasperation, “I mean…hello? How the hell should I know about these things already? Michael and I haven’t even set a date yet! I can’t even answer my cell because she calls me every ten minutes! Liz, if she shoves one more wedding detail in my face I swear I will scream.”

The last month had been a flurry of activity for the group. In between all the fuss over Michael and Maria’s engagement, Max and Michael’s secret plans to leave the planet, and Kyle’s sudden freaky manifestation of alien powers life in the little town of Roswell, New Mexico had been pretty hectic for the podsquad and their sidekicks. Yet somehow, in the midst of all the chaos, Liz managed to carve out some downtime for herself, which she spent mostly in Max’s company, practicing her powers or simply hanging out with him period. And the more time she spent with him the deeper Liz found herself falling.

Forcing her concentration back to Maria’s present dilemma Liz advised, “Why don’t you just tell Isabel how you feel? That…you know…she’s smothering you.”

Maria bolted upright like a recoiling spring at the suggestion. “Are you crazy?” she cried incredulously, “Have you seen Isabel lately? She’s like some wedding monster beast! She’s likely to have some kind of meltdown if I tell her that she can’t help. I swear, Lizzie, I wouldn’t be surprised if her head starting spinning at this point.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“Oh yes it can,” Maria countered grimly, “She made an appointment for Michael and me to look at china patterns this afternoon. Just picture it, Lizzie,” she huffed on, gesticulating appropriately, “Spaceboy in a china store. Nuff said.”

“Maybe it won’t be so bad,” Liz rallied.

“It’s already bad,” Maria countered with a dejected sigh, “And do you know what the worst part is…I can’t even be excited. I’m the one who’s engaged for crying out loud but Isabel is the one ready to leap over the moon because of it. But me…I just don’t feel it at all, Liz. It’s like this whole thing is completely surreal.”

“It’s not Michael, is it?” But Liz knew instinctively that wasn’t it. In fact, she knew exactly what was bothering Maria. The exact same thing that had been bothering her.

“No, it’s not Michael,” Maria sighed, “I’m, like, totally in love with him, Liz. I mean marrying him was something I never even let myself think about because Michael wasn’t the type but now…”

“…Now he’s leaving the planet any day now and you can’t forget that long enough to be happy,” Liz finished knowingly, “Oh Maria. Have you told Michael how you feel?”

“Of course I’ve told him,” Maria cried, throwing up her hands in despondent exasperation, “Over and over again. His answer is always the same. He can’t let Max go alone.” With a grunt of frustration Maria tunneled all ten fingers through her tousled mop of hair. “I just feel sick about this whole idea. I can’t shake the feeling that if he leaves I’ll never see him again.”

Liz could sympathize with the feeling. She had been rather “sick” with that same fear herself. Max’s looming departure wasn’t so easy to ignore as it had once been. Now as each day faded into a new one Liz felt herself being slowly suffocated in a vise of cold panic.

She could recall how she first reacted when Max brought his plans to her attention. She hadn’t been thrilled with the news but then she hadn’t thought it her place to try and talk him out of it. They had been still feeling their way around each other and rebuild trust. She’d been pretty sure that she could deal with Max’s leaving because she hadn’t imagined they would grow as close as they had as quickly as they had.

No, unfortunately, her confidence that she could endure Max’s absence was crumbling like dried out clay and her resolve to keep quiet was gradually weakening. Though in the last couple of months Liz had learned firsthand why the mission was so important to him she still battled the urge to ask him to stay. Liz well knew that, despite his misgivings, his fears and even his outright reluctance, Max didn’t feel he had a choice any longer. He didn’t feel he could stay. How could she possibly talk him out of it now when she understood his motivations so well? But then, how could she let him go when she knew there was a very real possibility that he would not return.

Liz felt torn, frightened and completely unsure. She wanted to do the right thing, the unselfish thing. She wanted to be strong enough to stand aside while Max fulfilled his destiny, but she wasn’t sure she could do it. Not a second time. Not when she was just starting to open her heart to him. Not when he was weaving himself so intricately into her life. Not when she was starting to love him again.

“Can’t you talk to him, Liz?” Maria pleaded, breaking through Liz’s conflicted thoughts, “Just reason with him or…or something? Do it for me?”

“Maria, I already told you how strongly Max feels about this,” Liz replied uneasily, “I’d feel weird asking him to go against his conscience.”

“You know that if you ask him to stay he will, Liz,” her friend prodded desperately, “You’re probably the only one who could talk Max out of going and I know that you want to. I’ve seen how much time you’ve been spending with him lately and I know, despite everything you say, that it’s not just some casual friendship. You want more than that. The last thing you want is for him to leave.”

“It’s not that simple, Maria,” Liz protested, “My feelings for Max aren’t the issue. He’s doing what he feels he has to and I can’t stand in the way of that. I won’t.” Her heart contracted painfully at Maria’s crestfallen expression. “I’m sorry, Maria.”

**********

“You will not have an opportunity for a test run,” Larek explained to Max and Michael, “Tomorrow night will be your signal the start of your journey. You must be ready by then.”

“But what about the cloaking device,” Michael wondered anxiously, “Can’t we use it to practice flying this hunk of metal first?”

“You must reach a certain speed before it can even be activated,” Larek said gravely, “Leaving under a blanket of darkness is your best option. You each have sufficient knowledge of the navigation panels. You should be successful.”

As Michael muttered a string of frustrated curses under his breath Max processed all this new information with a numbed heart and head. Only three hours before he had been looking forward to taking in a movie with Liz later that evening. Now he had to prepare for his imminent departure from earth in a little over twenty-four hours.

The moment felt totally bizarre. For months Max had been planning for the day, reminding himself over and over what must be done and now that it had finally arrived Max felt as if it had come too soon. He felt entirely unprepared and extremely reluctant. In essence, he didn’t want to go, but he had no other option. Larek…his people…they all needed him. Khivar’s forces were growing by the day. If Max didn’t do something to regain control of the throne all those loyal to him and his father’s house would be systematically hunted down and killed. How could he expect for them to continue to spill their blood on his behalf when he couldn’t even be bothered with returning home? Facing Khivar once and for all was the only thing Max could do and he knew it.

“Tomorrow night then,” he agreed gruffly, following behind Larek as he exited the ship, “That will give Michael and I some time to say the necessary good-byes.”

“As you wish, my lord. You will be fine, Zan,” Larek assured him, “I will see you soon.”

Max and Michael watched as Larek scrambled down the rock face on his way to return Brody’s body home. When they could see no more of the car’s taillights Max turned to Michael with a despondent sigh. “We’ve got a lot to do,” he said gravely, “And not so much time.”

“I’m afraid to face Maria,” Michael confessed, “I don’t know what to say to her.”

“It’s not too late,” Max told him with an iron stare, “You don’t have to come with me. You can stay here, Michael. I wouldn’t resent you for it.”

“You know there’s not a chance in hell of that happening, Maxwell.”

“Okay. Then tell Maria you love her,” Max advised, “Tell her that you’re coming back. Promise her, Michael, because if I have to die to make it happen you will come back.” Michael nodded. “All right,” Max concluded, “I have to go and break the news to Liz. We’ll meet back here tomorrow night around five o’clock.” Having said that Max began his own descent down the mountain.

Max took an inordinate amount of time making his way over to Liz’s house. He was so afraid of facing her and mainly because he was quite unsure how she would react. Would she be upset and beg him to stay? Or would she calmly wish him bon voyage and a safe journey? Max didn’t know which prospect terrified him more.

The former would hurt him deeply, especially knowing that he couldn’t do as she requested. The thought of refusing her alone broke his heart. Max didn’t relish the idea of hurting her anymore than he already had. But, on the other hand, the possibility of the latter reaction completely devastated him. It was crippling to think that his leaving would not affect her at all.

When he climbed the ladder leading up to Liz’s balcony he found her sitting in her lawn chair as usual, scribbling away in her journal. “Writing your memoirs?” he teased softly, but his words were garbled with emotion and not as lighthearted as he’d intended.

“Max!” she said, a joyous smile in place as she recapped her pen and set aside her journal, “You’re late.”

“Yeah…I had some things to take care of with Larek,” he hedged wearily.

“Okay. Just let me get my coat and we’ll talk about it on the way. The movie starts in another fifteen minutes.” She was already halfway to her window when he called out her name sharply. Liz swiveled around expectantly.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Max began grimly.

Liz didn’t need to hear anymore than that. The sick look of panic on his face said it all. Liz deflated at bit, wrapping her arms protectively around her middle. All the scenarios she had played out in her mind about being so cool when the time came just melted away like hot butter. She felt dizzy, nauseous and very, very scared. “When do you leave?” she asked him breathlessly.

“Tomorrow night,” he said.

Liz thought the revelation would send her to her knees but somehow she remained steady even though the news was like a punch to the gut. “I don’t understand. Why so soon?” she whispered calmly, but her features were ravaged.

“Larek and the resistance fighters…they’re in trouble,” Max explained tonelessly, “Khivar’s pushing them back and Larek is losing many soldiers. They need me.”

“And what are you supposed to do, Max?” Liz fired out, “You’re just a nineteen year old kid! How are you supposed to save an entire race of people?” She trembled in the wake of her outburst, as if she couldn’t quite believe such vehemence had erupted from her.

Max looked away from the panicked fury on Liz’s face, ripped apart by the logic of her accusation. “Please don’t make this hard, Liz. I just wanted to say good-bye to you,” he said gruffly, “And…and to promise you that I will come back. I promise I will.”

“No. I’m not saying goodbye to you,” Liz declared, raising her chin to a stubborn angle. Had she not been so blinded by her own pain she might have taken note of his anguished reaction. “We agreed that this thing between us would be uncomplicated, right?” Her eyes begged him to say different, to tell her that things were complicated and that he couldn’t bear to leave her but Max only stared down at his shoes, masking the fact that his heart was breaking.

“Do what you have to do, Max,” Liz said gruffly, her shoulders slumping with sorrow and defeat, “I’ll do the same.”

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Thirty-Six

Max awoke the following morning with a heavy heart. With a groan, he rolled over onto his side and slapped his alarm clock into silence. The small, reflexive response brought with it the sudden sting of tears because he found himself morosely contemplating if that had been the last time he would ever do it. So many seemingly mundane things he had taken for granted, Max realized, soon to be a part of his past. So many things that had meant so little yesterday that meant the entire world to him now. Despondent, Max flopped back onto his back and stared at the creeping fingers of sunlight stretching through his window blinds.

Just another summer day, full of indolence and unhurried satisfaction, only vastly different and more significant than all the days that had come before it. Because this day was the day that marked all memories as special. This was perhaps the last time he would eat an apple, or shave away his stubble or even sleep in his own bed. This was the last time his life would resemble anything near normal. Worse still, this was the day he would see his sister and parents and, most importantly, Liz perhaps for the last time.

Lying there in bed feeling sorry for himself Max couldn’t help but reflect on his last conversation with Liz. She confused the hell out of him. Last night as he stood on her balcony trying to say good-bye to her Max hadn’t known how to relate to her. Though her reaction to his news had been far from indifferent, in fact Max would have ventured so far as to say she’d been angry, afterwards she had done nothing more than wish him well and send him on his way. Max wasn’t sure if he should be affronted or relieved. He was grateful that he wouldn’t have to take with him the memory of a painful good-bye but on the same token he had expected a little more than, “Have a nice trip and don’t let the door hit ya.” True, she hadn’t said those words exactly but the sentiment had been the same.

Max might have lain there brooding for another hour at least if his sister hadn’t chosen that moment to rap a tentative knock on his door. “Max, are you awake?” came her faltering whisper.

“Come in, Isabel,” he directed as he rolled upright and scrubbed the sleep from his eyes. He was combing his fingers through the spiked tendrils of his hair when she entered, still clad in her pajamas and night mask. Max gaped at her appearance, unable to recall a time when he had seen Isabel look so “natural.” “It’s a little early for you, isn’t it?” he remarked when she perched herself on the edge of his bed.

“You’re leaving tonight,” she said as if he weren’t already aware of that fact, “And I couldn’t sleep because of it. I kept having nightmares about you and Michael sneaking away without saying goodbye.”

She did indeed look tired. What he could see of her face behind the facial mask was haggard and Max felt guilty for his part in it. “Isabel, you know I wouldn’t do that to you,” he whispered in soft reassurance, “I’d never leave without saying goodbye first.”

Her brown eyes pierced him in a telling stare. “You’re doing it to Mom and Dad,” she replied with brutal candor.

Game, set and match. Isabel had aimed her arrow accordingly. Max ducked his head guiltily, knowing he couldn’t dispute her claim. “You know why I’m doing that,” he replied in a low, defensive tone.

“Can’t you, at least, give them the opportunity to say good-bye, Max?” Isabel pleaded, “You did it for Liz.”

Max stabbed her with a look brimming with betrayal. “That was a low blow,” he accused softly, “Why are you throwing all this in my face?”

“You know it’s true, Max,” Isabel insisted, “Have you ever stopped to think what it will do to Mom when she learns where you’ve gone? How much it will hurt her because you didn’t even take the time to say good-bye?” Max turned away from her practical reasoning, his jaw bunched tightly as he tried to block out her words. “Max, come on,” Isabel coaxed, wisely switching her tactics from accusation to cajolery, “We’ve already told them the biggest secret of all…surely we can tell them this, too. I don’t like keeping them in the dark about this.”

“So I’m supposed to just approach our parents and calmly tell them that I plan to leave the planet and that I might not come back,” Max reasoned sardonically, “Is that what you’re saying, Isabel? Because that is what I will have to tell them. There’s no guarantee that I’m coming back at all.”

“Don’t say things like that!”

“You talk about the truth,” Max interjected brusquely, “That’s the truth. I…I can’t do that to them. I can’t destroy them like that. I just don’t understand why we can’t stick to the story about me needing to go away after Zan’s death.”

“You don’t think that will kill them, too? They’ll be destroyed no matter what you do, Max,” Isabel whispered, “They love you.”

“I don’t know what you want me to do, Isabel,” Max muttered.

“Stay,” Isabel answered without the slightest hesitation.

“Besides that.”

“Okay then…spend the day with us,” Isabel amended, “I managed to convince Dad to take a day off from the office. It told him I wanted to have a family day. We’re going to throw a couple of steaks on the grill and… It will be just like when we were kids, Max,” she pressed on excitedly, “Only we don’t have to be so secretive about keeping Dad from setting his eyelashes on fire. I wish we could go back to that time.”

Beneath the covers, Max drew his knees against his chest and hugged them hard. “Me, too,” he replied sadly.

Those carefree days seemed so far gone now. Honestly, they had disappeared altogether the day he had healed Liz Parker in the Crashdown. Max had never regretted his decision to do so and would never regret it, but oh how drastically things had changed for them all. His boyhood had left him that day and since then Max had been struggling to become a man. But he missed the days when his life was simpler and when his choices had affected only him.

Isabel watched Max’s eyes darken with melancholy reverie, knowing the feeling there reflected her own. “So then spend the day with us,” she urged, “I know you have to leave tonight but spend the day with your family.”

**********

“Where is she?” Liz asked when Amy DeLuca opened the door looking every bit the harassed and anxious mother she was.

“She’s in the kitchen,” Amy said, stepping aside so that Liz could enter, “She’s been crying all morning, Liz. Crying and cleaning and you know Maria doesn’t clean. I don’t know what’s wrong. She won’t talk to me.”

Liz cast an anxious glance in the direction of the kitchen where she could hear Maria rummaging around. “Has she eaten?” she asked quietly, “I…I brought bagels.”

“Go on in to her,” Amy directed with a nod, “I’m sure she’ll be glad to see you.”

She found Maria mercilessly scrubbing the kitchen sink and muttering expletives under her breath. With quiet deliberation she laid the small white bag of pastries on the kitchen table and watched her friend with a mixture of pity, alarm and mild amusement. “Is it that bad?” Liz murmured, creeping forward to cautiously peer over Maria’s shoulder.

“You know there’s something wrong when the grout around the sink is black,” Maria muttered in disgust, “Even bleach won’t kill it!”

“Since when did you become so interested in grout,” Liz wondered skeptically.

“Have you seen this kitchen?” Maria demanded shortly, “It’s a haven for germs and bacteria! If this were a restaurant we’d be in danger of a health code violation!”

“Maria,” Liz interrupted, gently taking hold of her friend’s shoulders and turning Maria to face her, “Why are you here right now? I thought you’d be with Michael.”

“Didn’t you hear?” Maria trilled with a hysterical laugh, “My boyfriend slash fiancé slash ex-boyfriend and fiancé is blasting off for outer space tonight! My entire life is a bad B movie!”

“Shh,” Liz admonished sharply, cutting a nervous glance to the doorway. She half expected for Amy DeLuca to appear and demand what they were talking about. When she didn’t Liz lead a quietly sobbing Maria over to the nearby table and made her sit down. “You can’t carry on like this, Maria,” she warned softly, “What if your mom gets suspicious and starts asking questions?”

“Liz, I can’t do this,” Maria sobbed, “It’s too hard.”

Maria’s unhidden misery made Liz regret her sharp tone. She stooped low so that she could cradle Maria in a tender hug. “You’re going to be okay,” Liz whispered. The words were only a slight variation from what she had been telling herself all morning.

“We were going to break up, you know,” Maria confessed calmly after a long tearful moment, “Michael and I.”

Liz tipped her head down to stare into Maria’s upturned face. “You were?” She wasn’t really surprised by the revelation, however, since Maria and Michael had been on again off again as long as they’d been together.

“It wasn’t like all those other times,” Maria said, reading the conclusion in Liz’s eyes, “We just couldn’t agree about you and Max. Michael blamed you for a lot of things, especially for leaving Max when he was in such a bad way and I’d defend you. We would fight about which one of you hurt the other constantly. I really didn’t think we’d last out the year.”

“So what happened to change that?” Liz wondered gently.

Maria favored her with an ironic smirk, belying the tears glistening in her green eyes. “You came back home,” she said tiredly, “It was like when you came back Michael and I didn’t have to keep fighting your and Max’s battles for you. We finally started concentrating on our relationship and the things that were broken with us. I can’t say I was expecting an engagement ring from him at all but I was pretty sure we would be all right.” Her eyes took on a far-off look as she shrugged out of Liz’s hold and buried her face in her hands. “God!” she uttered, “Half the time I think he’s an idiot but…I love him so much. Now he’s leaving and I may never see him again.”

“You shouldn’t think like that,” Liz advised weakly.

“Why?” Maria challenged, throwing Liz a probing stare, “Aren’t you thinking the same exact thing?”

“It’s different for you and Michael,” Liz protested, “You’re engaged. Max and I…I don’t even know what Max and I are.”

“You love him, Liz and you know this is a bad idea, Liz,” Maria said gruffly, “Deep in your heart you know it. Please don’t let him do this.”

**********

“It’s not five o’clock,” Michael noted when Max came dragging into his apartment later that afternoon. However, he refrained from further comment when he saw Max’s desolated appearance and slumped shoulders. “You want some Spaghetti-O’s?” Michael offered as Max collapsed down onto his sofa, “I made enough for two.”

“Nah, I’m stuffed on barbecue,” Max sighed, “Where were you? Isabel said you were supposed to come.”

Michael just shrugged and spooned his canned spaghetti into a bowl. “It was your family day,” he said, “I didn’t want to intrude. Thought I’d veg on the couch with some toons. It might be my last opportunity to watch them, you know.”

“Michael you are family,” Max insisted, completely ignoring the latter part of Michael’s reply¸ “When are you gonna get that?”

Again Michael shrugged. “So what are you doing here,” he wondered between great slurping bites, “I thought you’d be celebrating your last night on earth with Liz.”

“She had other plans,” Max replied vaguely, “What about you? Maria around?”

“She broke up with me,” Michael replied with general unconcern.

Max’s brows snapped together in surprise at Michael’s almost casual tone. He didn’t think he could possibly feel worse but in that second his guilt doubled. “Don’t you care at all?”

“Eh…it wasn’t the first time and probably won’t be the last either,” Michael said, “I plan to fix it with her before we leave but she needs time to cool off right now. I can’t take her throwing anymore of her clunky shoes at me.”

“Wisdom from Michael Guerin,” Max considered pensively, “Never thought I’d see the day. The world really has turned upside down.”

“So,” Michael opened, flopping down beside Max on the sofa, “You came straight from your parents’ barbecue to my place for… What gives Max?”

“Actually I just came from the cemetery,” Max clarified dryly, “I had to say goodbye to Zan.” He massaged the pads of his fingers into his eye sockets. “God, that sounds strange to say.”

Michael’s ribbing expression gradually sobered. “How’d that go?”

Max snorted out a short, self-deprecating laugh. “All this time,” he muttered hoarsely, “I thought he needed me when actually it was the other way around. I’m a mess without him. Nothing makes sense anymore.”

“Maxwell, I’m sure what you’re feeling is normal.”

“I don’t want to leave him here alone, Michael.”

“Max,” Michael began as gently as he could, “He’s already gone. It doesn’t matter if you stay or leave. You’ll never be able to change that.”

A harsh, choking sob tore from Max’s throat. “Oh God,” he groaned, leaning his head back against the edge of the sofa, “This is never going to get better, is it?”

“Maxwell, tell me something,” Michael inquired carefully, “Why are we really going on this mission? Is it because you want to take care of Khivar or is it because you’re running away?”

Max pondered Michael’s question the entire way home. Honestly he didn’t know anymore. When he’d made the decision, almost right on the heels of Zan’s death, the idea had seemed logical and Max had been absolutely adamant to see it through. Now he was wondering if there was another way. Evidently relying on his troops on Antar was out of the question since Khivar was systematically beating them back but perhaps there was another solution, something that had not yet occurred to him.

He was still wracking his brain for that something when he arrived home ten minutes later. As Max crossed through the living room towards his bedroom he caught sight of his parents cuddled up on the couch together, fast asleep. His heart ached to see them there, to see the unconscious testament of their love for each other, the exact same love that was reflected in their eyes whenever they looked at him and Isabel.

His parents had sacrificed and endured so much to insure that he and Isabel have a good and happy home life. And Max realized, in spite of the secrets and the fear, Philip and Diane Evans had never given him anything less than unconditional love his entire life. Isabel was right when she said they deserved more than to have him disappear from their lives without explanation. He would give them that, at least.

But as he watched them sleeping Max knew that he would not wake them. He wanted to take this memory of them so peaceful and perfect with him, to warm him in the cold, lonely place to which he was going. He needed to hold on to a happy time to keep himself whole and sane. He’d write them a letter instead, Max decided, and in it he would tell them all the things he’d been frightened to say aloud before. He would tell them that they had saved his life and that, no matter the differences in their bloodlines and even their species, they were his true parents. No one else.

Max set off for his bedroom with exactly that intention, treading quietly as not to disturb Isabel. After that morning’s lecture he really wasn’t up to a repeat performance. He loved his sister, but she could really beat a dead horse and further quarrelling would only serve to create a rift between them. Max was so careful about creeping into his room unnoticed and so busy congratulating himself for a mission accomplished that he took no note of the change that had taken place within his bedroom until he turned around.

Perched primly on the edge of his bed and looking as if she had all the time in the world on her hands was Liz.

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Thirty-Seven

“Did you come to say goodbye?” Max asked, voicing aloud the first question that sprang into his mind. He was so taken aback to see her sitting there, her hands calmly folded in her lap as if it were perfectly natural for him to find her there waiting. When she didn’t answer his initial question he followed up with another. “How long have you been here, Liz?”

“Not very long,” she answered vaguely, “Isabel let me in.”

Max laughed to himself. “Of course she would have something to do with it,” he muttered wryly.

“Max, don’t be mad at Isabel,” Liz began quietly, “I thought about our last conversation and I couldn’t just let you leave. This mission…I get a bad feeling about it and…I don’t think you should go. There I said it.”

This was what he’d been hoping for and yet in having it Max didn’t receive any satisfaction. So wanted him to stay and he wanted to stay Max still had responsibilities. Much as he wanted to pretend otherwise he was the king and heir to an alien planet. His path had been carved out long before his human body was even fashioned into existence. Max knew the time for putting off those weighty responsibilities had long since run out. Now he didn’t see that he had any other choice but to do what was expected of him.

Michael had warned him earlier when he lamented Liz’s lackluster reaction to his news that he’d really had the easier way. Maria had begged and cried and thrown her tantrums and all that had made it even harder for Michael to refuse her. “When you see them in that much pain, Maxwell,” Michael had told him, “To break their heart like that…it just kills you a piece at a time.” And Michael was right. Seeing Liz in such distress, Max was dying a slow, emotional death knowing he couldn’t lay her fears to rest.

“Liz, I…I wish I could say something--,”

“Listen to me first,” she said, holding up her hand for his silence, “These dreams you’ve been having lately, Max… There’s more to them than you think. It’s like someone or something is trying to tell us something important.”

“Us?” Max queried.

“Well lately…I’ve been having dreams, too,” Liz confessed.

“What sort of dreams, Liz? About Antar?”

Liz shook her head. “About Claudia,” she supplied hoarsely, “She’s been coming to me in my dreams for a month now, Max. She’s been warning me.”

“About what?”

“That’s just it,” Liz said, “I don’t know. But my instincts are telling me that her warnings are real and that they have something to do with this trip you’re planning. I just know that if I let you go and do this thing I won’t ever see you again.”

He didn’t know quite how to react to that so he groped for the nearest thing, his desk chair, and collapsed down into the seat. “Max, I don’t know what all this means,” Liz rushed on, “But I know what Future Max said. The only way you can defeat your enemies is if you stand together as the four square. You can’t go to Antar without Isabel and…Tess.”

“Tess is dead, Liz,” Max reminded her quietly, “The four square is already broken.”

“There’s Ava,” Liz returned with timid insistence, “You can take her instead. She can take Tess’ place and complete the four square. Maybe that’s the way it was supposed to be all along.”

“Liz, no,” Max protested quietly, “I’ve already brought enough people into this mess already. I don’t want Isabel and Ava risking their lives, too. Besides…Ava doesn’t want to be apart of this. I know I told you she was helping us fool Khivar but that’s as far as it goes.”

“Of course she has to help you, Max!” Liz burst out hysterically, “I know she’ll do it if I ask her!” She surged to her feet as if she meant to go searching for Ava right then.

“Liz, don’t,” Max said, hoping to calm her frenzied pacing, “It won’t help. All that stuff about the four square and the destiny book…I don’t believe it. I don’t think I ever did. All my life my heart has been pointing me in one direction, Liz…you. If the world ended in that first timeline it wasn’t because we loved each other and it wasn’t because we lacked the four square! Future Max was wrong.”

“Max, you don’t know that,” Liz cried, “And you’re taking an incredible risk!”

“Liz, I know why you’re doing this,” Max replied grimly, “And I really wish I could--,”

“Shut up, Max!” she exploded frantically, “Just please shut up and listen to me! There’s something wrong with this! I don’t know what it is…I can’t explain it, but you can’t go!” She slowly dissolved into tears, her entire body shaking with the force of her sobs. “You can’t do this.” Moments later she felt Max’s strong arms envelope her in a steadying hug. Liz wilted against him, grateful for the support he offered even as he was the one who was breaking her down.

“I know what you’re thinking right now,” she whispered into his shirtfront, “That I’m just saying all this to get you to stay but--,”

“I don’t think that, Liz,” Max denied, stroking his hand down the rumpled length of her hair, “I believe you’re here because you care about me, because you’re scared for me.”

“That’s not the only reason,” she murmured, lifting her head to favor him with a liquid stare, “I love you, Max. It’s taken me a long time to work up the courage to say that to you but, honestly, I never stopped. I wanted to stop. I wanted forget all about us but loving you has never been something I could control.”

Max literally went numb with her admission but in a good way. All logical thought fled his mind as he abandoned all his lingering caution and did what he’d been dying to do since she returned to town. He gently framed Liz’s face in his hand and bent his head to take Liz’s lips in a careful, nibbling kiss. At first she stiffened in his arms, as if she were surprised by the action or unsure how she should reciprocate but then she gradually relaxed in his arms, her lips softening beneath his.

Smiling through his tears, Max feathered kisses all over her face. He was like a blind man, seeking touch through his lips. The moment seemed almost dreamlike but stunningly real all at the same time. He was almost afraid to stop touching her because he feared she might disappear and that the last half hour in his room would be rendered to nothing more than the products of his overeager imagination.

But she didn’t disappear. In fact, she kissed him back, nuzzling against his throat like a drowsy kitten. Liz emitted tiny sighs against his throat, her fingers clenching and unclenching in his shirtfront, almost as if she harbored the same fear that he did. That he would disappear the second she let him go.

And so they clung to one another, melded, kissing tenderly and tentatively as lovers reacquainting themselves after an extended separation. When they parted a long time later the silence in the room was filled with the sounds of their hitching gasps, a sound they barely heard over the thundering of their own hearts.

Max trembled in the aftermath, staring down at her with a combination of adoration and anguish. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that to me again?” he breathed fiercely, “I didn’t ever think you would.”

“Neither did I,” Liz confessed tearfully. She hadn’t even planned to do so tonight but the words had broken forth from her like water rushing from a dam, powerful, dynamic and unstoppable.

Max didn’t realize that he was crying until Liz reached up to tenderly brush away the tears from his cheeks. “I don’t know what to do, Liz,” he sobbed mournfully, “I promised Larek. And…I’ve broken too many promises already.”

“Max,” she sniffled anxiously, “I know you want to do the right thing…I get that. But not at the expense of your life.”

“We don’t know if that’s what’s going to happen, Liz.”

“Yes, we do,” she insisted, tightening her hold on him, “Your dreams mean something, Max. There’s more going on here than you know about. I feel it.”

Max cupped her cheek briefly before letting his hand fall and stepping back from her with a defeated sigh. “I want to stay, Liz. I really do,” he said, “But I’ve run away from who I am long enough. Too many people have suffered for my inaction. Alex, Zan…you. I have to think about my family and I have to think about my people. Whether I want to be or not…I’m their last hope.” He started to turn away from her then but Liz snagged hold of his wrist before he could do so.

“What if I provided an alternative for you then?” she asked on the edge of desperation.

Max flicked a questioning glance from her white knuckled grip to her equally colorless face. “What sort of alternative, Liz?”

“I’ll go with you,” she said gruffly, “If you’re determined to do this then we’ll do it together, Max. We’ve done too many things apart and it ends now. If you’re going to Antar then so am I.”

Max’s response was immediate and succinct. “Liz, no,” he protested, “It’s too dangerous. I won’t let you do that.”

“You’re not getting it, are you, Max,” Liz said with a sardonic laugh, “You have two choices here: either you stay or I’m going with you when you leave. You decide. But know this…I’m tired of being noble and sensible and the good little girl who comes through to save the world. This time I’m doing something for me.”

“And what’s that, Liz?”

“I’m holding on to the man I love…and damn the rest,” she answered fervidly right before she rose up onto her toes to fuse her lips to his.

This time the kiss between them was wholly different from the last. Their mouths met with a laden hunger, passion and anger spurring them on. Like tinder wood an intense connection flared between them hot and bright. As their souls were laid bare they were joined together on another plain of existence, fused into one. Their tongues danced and courted one another, sending them deeper. A kaleidoscope of pictures and scenes tumbled through their heads in no particular order, snatches of times long since passed and some memories as recent as yesterday.

Some of the scenes were painful, but many of them, most of them were filled with aching bliss and those were the ones that made the most impression. It was a veritable barrage of the time they had spent together as well as the time they’d spent apart, all the while reinforcing one stunning fact, something they had known all along. They were happier together than apart. It had taken them more than a year to realize that.

As Liz fell into the kiss, she fell into Max, immersed herself in his feelings, his fears, his incredible love for her. She experienced firsthand Max’s feelings of abandonment that first summer after the white room when she had run off to Florida because they became her feelings. Liz now understood why and how her impulsive action had planted the first seeds of doubt in his mind. Max had never been quite able to believe that Liz truly loved him after that. Once he found her in bed with Kyle all his confidence in himself and the love they had shared had been shattered. It was little wonder he hadn’t been able to decipher what she was really trying to tell him at prom. It was little wonder he had been so confused.

Yet as even Liz became so in tune with Max he was experiencing the same fusion as she, understanding firsthand the pain of his betrayal as if it had happened to him directly. Foremost, Max could finally recognize how thoroughly he had torn Liz apart. She had tried so hard to be strong for everyone else all the while never giving any thought to herself. In all the turmoil surround his life, she had forgotten herself and Max had been too wrapped up in his own pain to give her the attention she needed. With growing shame he realized that he had forgotten her, too.

Max felt her hot humiliation and pain at being ripped down to size by him in front of Tess that day and the horrific betrayal she’d experienced when he gave her the ultimatum over their friendship. That moment had been her lowest point; a period in her life when she’d truly believed that she’d lost everything. Now Max fully understood why it had taken Liz so long to forgive him and why it had taken even longer to regain her trust.

As much as he was able, Max transmitted his sorrow, his regret, his abundant love for her into his kiss. He made love to her mouth, his fingers skating over her cheekbones, her throat, her shoulders in fiery urgency. Liz was equally eager to transmit her remorse as well, touching him wherever she could reach, hoping to transmit the enormous depth of her love for him through her fingertips. She wanted only to give him a glimpse of the emotion bursting apart inside her chest.

Max hooked an arm around her waist, dragging her against him tightly as if he meant to absorb her, to make them one body as they had become one mind. The kiss was quickly becoming something else, something burning and uncontainable and wanton. Together they stumbled back towards his bed, tripping over their own feet so that they tumbled down into the mattress and still they didn’t stop kissing, couldn’t stop.

Liz attacked Max’s lips with hungry fervor, wrapping her arms around his neck and turning fully into his body. She never stopped to consider whether they were moving too fast or acting rashly because she was too caught up in the sensation, the feeling of being connected with Max again both emotionally and physically. Liz arched her body up into his in the rapacious effort to draw him closer, mutely inviting him to touch all of her…take all of her. And in surrendering herself so completely Liz was opened to so much more…Max’s own unconditional surrender to her.

Without warning the flashes before her head were overshadowed with new images, glimpses into Max’s heretofore unseen past. It was the deepest that Liz had ever seen into him and she knew it meant that he had left no part of himself hidden from her. Liz could see him as he had been as a young king, just as conflicted and vulnerable back then as he was today. She saw the rocky, alien terrain of the home of his home as if she had been there herself, could taste the slightly acrid flavor of the atmosphere. No longer was Antar this strange, unknown planet to Liz. She knew it now just as well as she knew her own because she had seen it through Max’s eyes.

Yet even as she was tearing over the wonder of that the scene shifted again and Liz found herself tumbling deeper into Max’s mind, even into his dreams. She saw the nightly terrors that had plagued him for over a year now. She witnessed firsthand the systematic destruction of a planet he had never seen or known but in an unfamiliar portion of his heart had always loved.

Liz could see and hear the thousands and thousands of innocents dying and crying out in pain. She could feel their desperation for a savior and the desolation of knowing that there was none to be had. And Liz finally recognized the irrefutable fact that had been eluding them all that time. This wasn’t a dream at all. It had never been. All this time the truth had been right there in front of them but they had not wanted to believe. But now Liz knew the truth. She had seen and felt it for herself.

She pushed away from Max in a panic; her heart racing with the newfound knowledge and sorrow for what she knew it would do to him.

“What is it?” Max whispered anxiously, scanning his eyes over her chalky features, “What happened? What did you see?”

“Max, it’s your planet,” she gasped out, “I think it’s dying.”

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Thirty-Eight

“We’ve been waiting here an hour!” Michael snapped when a disheveled Max emerged out of the darkness, “Where the hell have you been?” However, his surly question was answered a few seconds later when Liz came tripping up behind Max, her hand clasped with his and her appearance equally disheveled. Michael rolled his eyes in knowing disgust when he absorbed the full impact of their swollen lips and pink cheeks. “Oh. I get it now.”

“It’s not what you’re thinking,” Max muttered quickly but when Michael flicked both him and Liz with a dubious once-over, his eyes lingering on the rumpled disorder of their clothing, Max couldn’t suppress the crimson flash of his blush. But other matters were more pressing at the moment than his and Liz’s newfound intimacy and Max jumped straight to the heart of that. “We’re not going, Michael,” he said flatly.

“So I gathered already,” Michael replied with a smirk, “I’ll just go inside and tell Larek that the mission is off.” He leveled Liz with a grateful stare. “Thank you,” he said quietly, “For talking some sense into him. I know we haven’t been on the best terms lately, Liz, but…I’m glad you came home.” And then he surprised them even further by stumbling forward to enfold Liz in an awkward hug.

After throwing Max a helpless glance Liz returned Michael’s embrace timidly, but in the darkness Max could see that her eyes were gleaming with heartfelt tears. “Okay. That’s enough of that,” Michael announced a moment later, shoving away, “The sooner I deliver the news to Larek the sooner I can get back to Maria.”

“Michael, wait!” Max cried before his friend could turn away to disappear into the ship, “It’s not that simple. There’s something you need to know.”

However, now that Max had put the news out there he had no idea how he would explain. He was still processing the sheer magnitude himself. None of it seemed real at all. Max felt like he was still trapped in the dream realm, like he would wake up at any given moment. He couldn’t even remember the first few minutes after Liz told him because he’d literally felt as if his world had been shattered.

Antar was dying. Antar was dying. Antar was dying. It was something Max had always known within himself and for more than the last year. That spring when he and Liz had found the orb in the desert had been the first glimpse of the red giant, Liz’s vision. Later he had seen it in dreams himself and on numerous occasions but only in the last year had the planet in his visions become more than an abstract impression. Now he had to tell Michael that the “home” he’d been struggling to get back to all those years before had been doomed from the start.

His thoughts and feelings must have been playing their way across his face because Michael’s expression grew progressively grimmer by the moment. “What’s happened?” he asked in a dread filled voice.

“Get Larek,” Max commanded quietly, “This is something he needs to hear as well.”

“What are you going to tell them?” Liz whispered after Michael had gone back into the ship to fetch Larek, “I mean…Michael’s one thing. I think he’ll get over it eventually but Larek…he’s on the planet. I don’t envy what you have to do.”

Max heaved a shuddering sigh. “I hate having this kind of decision on my shoulders,” he muttered, “It’s like holding people’s lives in my hand, Liz.”

Liz heard the tiny quaver of fear in his voice and she did what she could to ease it by pressing his fingers gently into her palm and offering him a soft smile. “I’m here with you,” she said, “No matter what happens from this point…we’re together, Max. Always.”

“Together,” he whispered in agreement.

A few seconds later Max found himself silently thanking the powers that be for Liz’s timely avowal because Michael and Larek had returned and he still didn’t have the slightest idea what to say to them. More than that he was completely afraid to reveal the truth, acutely aware that what he was about to say would literally devastate lives. However, the prospect was made a bit easier knowing he had Liz at his side.

Larek hardly betrayed in reaction at all when he spied Liz standing alongside Max, almost as if he had expected it all along. “It would not be wise to bring her with us, Zan,” he replied resolutely but not unkindly, “Your mission will be dangerous…it is no place for a human girl.”

“It’s apparently no place for a human boy either,” Max replied wryly, “We’re not coming, Larek. I’m sorry.”

Larek blinked. “Forgive me but I do not understand. You cannot complete the mission?”

“Larek, everything has changed now,” Max explained patiently, “The planet is dying.”

“It’s what?” Michael exploded.

“It’s dying,” Liz clarified, “Max and I saw it in a vision. Sometime in the next three months Antar will explode and, consequently, take the remaining four planets with it. Nearly your entire race will be wiped out, Michael. I’m sorry.”

“No. No,” Michael denied weakly, doubling over slightly, “That doesn’t make sense.”

Michael looked sick over the revelation, his entire body sagging as if crushed beneath some tremendous weight, but it wasn’t Michael that Max had his eyes trained on at the moment. It was Larek. Larek, who had just been given the worst possible news, that his home planet was dying. Larek, who was still on said the planet. Larek, who didn’t appear at all surprised.

“You knew, didn’t you,” Max breathed in disgust, “You knew what was happening to the planet and you were going to let us come anyway?”

“Forgive my deceit, Lord Zan,” Larek replied in humble apology, “I was sure that we could vanquish Khivar’s forces and you would be able to flee the planet in time. It was never, never my intention for you to die.”

“Well what in hell did you think was gonna happen,” Michael demanded shortly, “The planet’s going to implode. That’s not exactly conducive to survival!”

“And it’s not like you’re operating on a great deal of time,” Liz broke in, “Surely the planet has begun manifesting evidence of its internal instability. You had to know how bad it was getting so why did you lie to Max? You say it wasn’t your intention to hurt him and yet you were bringing him to his death. So which way is it, Larek? How could you keep something like this from him?”

Liz’s accusation hammered at Larek and he gradually deflated with each one. “Zan,” Larek began gently, “You must believe me when I tell you that it was never my intention to hurt you. Niada, your mother…she entrusted me with your well-being. I would die before I caused you harm.”

“Then why, Larek?” Max asked stridently, “What’s going on?”

“Have you never wondered why your mother sent you to this planet with no means of returning home, no memories of your past?” Larek queried, “That was no accident, Zan.”

“She knew,” Max concluded hoarsely.

“Yes,” Larek confirmed, “There is very limited knowledge of what is happening to our world, Zan. Beyond your late father, your mother, the scientists and myself…no one else knows these things.”

“But…but our mission,” Michael sputtered, “The communicators told us that we’d been sent here to learn so that we could save Antar. We were always supposed to go home.”

“No. Your enemies were supposed to think your mission was to return home, but it was all a ruse,” Larek explained, “And a clever one. Niada was very aware of her husband’s enemies so she created a failsafe in the unlikely event that you would find the orbs. She wanted to dupe your enemies into believing she had sent you to earth to save us when, in reality, she had sent you to earth to save you.”

“And the four square,” Max queried bitterly, “Was that a lie as well?”

“No, it is true,” Larek denied, “You are stronger together, Zan…like a human family. You were engineered that way.”

“So if she…Niada…was trying to save our lives, why did she send a duplicate set?” Max wondered.

“She did not send the duplicate set,” Larek answered, “That was Khivar’s doing.” Max and Michael reeled with this newest revelation. “He had programmed them to find you, terminate you and then take your places,” Larek continued, “He wanted to arrange it that once you, meaning your dupe, returned to Antar dupe Zan could serve as his puppet. Unfortunately for him, his creations were far from perfect and his plan backfired.”

“Diabolical,” Max whispered.

“Quite so,” Larek agreed.

“Okay, so if the destiny book and the four square was all some elaborate scheme and the planet was really doomed the entire time why the hell have you been trying to get us to come back all this time?” Michael demanded irately.

“We need you, Zan,” Larek replied fervently, “Our planet, our lives have been in turmoil since your father’s house was divided. You are the only one who can bring peace again. I do not wish for the last moments of my world to be wasted and torn apart by war. You have a responsibility to your people.”

“And how was I supposed to help if I died?” Max cried.

“As I said,” Larek reiterated, “I did not realize that the destruction of our planet was so near. Antar has held on this long…I thought perhaps we had a few more years at best.”

“Even with my dreams?” Max prompted, “I told you how bad they were.”

“Yes. Even with your dreams, Zan,” Larek said, “I took heart in knowing that if you could ‘see’ the destruction firsthand in your visions then that was a good indicator that you were not present when the destruction occurred.”

“But I was there, Larek,” Max insisted sharply, “In my dreams, my visions…whatever they were…I saw myself. I saw myself dying right along with the rest of you.”

“That means you have three months, Larek,” Liz provided gently, “Maybe a little more.”

“My lord,” Larek intoned humbly, falling to his knees with a bowed head before Max, “I beg your forgiveness. Never was it my intention to harm you. You are all we have left of your father’s house, Zan. Forgive me. I only wished to bring peace to our people…even if for only a short while.”

Inexplicably moved by Larek’s words, Max reluctantly released Liz’s hand and sank down onto his haunches so that he could view Larek’s features and determine whether it was sincerity or treachery he found there. Yet, one look into the swirling depths of Larek’s eyes and Max knew that everything Larek had spoken to him was the truth. He had, indeed, deceived Max. He had deceived them all but he had done none of it with malicious intent.

“I believe you,” Max whispered, causing Larek’s eyes to jump to his face in startled relief though beyond that Larek’s features remained inscrutable. “I don’t think you meant to hurt me by what you did but there can be no more lies between us, Larek. I want to trust you. I need to but I don’t like being manipulated. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Larek murmured reverently.

“So now I have new orders for you,” Max intoned softly, “Over the next three months I need you to oversee an operation for me, a covert operation…an evacuation if you will.”

Michael’s eyes rounded with the implication of what Max suggested. “Please tell me you’re not thinking what I think you are,” he groaned, “Max, you can’t bring them here!”

“I can’t just leave thousands of innocent people to die either!” Max exploded shortly, “I have to do this.” He looked over in Liz’s direction, his heart swelling with relief and gratitude when she gave a near imperceptible nod of agreement. “Okay then,” he said, addressing Larek once more, “This plan must remain secret at all costs, Larek. The evacuation must be done quickly and quietly…and selectively.” He placed a heavy hand on Larek’s shoulder. “I’m giving you a heavy burden. In essence, you’ll have to decide who lives and who dies, but I trust you to do this, Larek. I trust you with my life.”

Larek shook his head, but was visibly moved by the great amount of trust Max had placed in him. “I am unworthy of this request, Zan,” he said gruffly, “And your loyalty.”

“But you’re the only one who can do this for me,” Max said, “Evacuate as many to earth as you can but…only those loyal to my house. If Khivar and his followers want the planet so badly…they can have it. Let them die on it.”

“Zan, there is no possibility of my evacuating everyone in time,” Larek replied gravely, “And Niada…she is still Khivar’s captive. I do not know that I will be able to liberate her in time if at all.”

“Do what you have to,” Max commanded, pushing back to his feet, “As I said before…you decide who lives and…who dies.”

“Maxwell,” Michael hissed, taking hold of Max’s forearm and pulling him aside for a private conference, “Are you sure you know what you’re doing? This guy’s been lying to us for months! How do you know you can trust him now?”

“He could have played along, Michael,” Max replied, “He could have pretended total ignorance when Liz and I told you about Antar but he didn’t. He didn’t try to play us at all. And I believe him when he says that he didn’t want to hurt us. I think he intended to bring us to Antar, let me establish peace and then send us right back home. I don’t think he ever planned to tell us what was going on. He was going to die on that planet with everyone else, Michael.”

“That makes him suicidal, Max,” Michael replied tersely, “Not trustworthy. I mean you’re talking about bringing a whole planet of these…these people here. We don’t even know what they’re like!”

“They’re our people, Michael,” Max uttered, “And they need us. I’d like to have your blessing on this.”

“Are you going to do it whether I agree or not?” Michael queried flatly.

“Yes.”

“Then I guess you have my blessing,” Michael grumbled unenthusiastically.

“Good,” Max said with a slight smile over Michael’s churlish tone, “Because I need you, Michael. I have no idea what I’m going to do when these people get here. They’ll be looking for a king and all they’ll find is some scared nineteen-year-old kid starting his first semester of community college. I’m probably going to be relying on you a lot.”

“I’m here for you, Max, even when you pull crazy shit like this,” Michael vowed, “Whatever you need.”

The night progressed rather quickly after that. Max went over the particulars of his plan with Larek in minute detail. Under no circumstances could Khivar be alerted to the planet’s condition or the evacuation. Everything had to be handled quickly and with as much secrecy as possible. Therefore those people being evacuated would only know the reason for it once they were safely aboard the rescue ships and beyond Antar’s atmosphere.

When Max was done Larek swiftly took his leave of them, aware of the limited time frame he had in which to work and eager to implement his King’s orders. “Do you really think we can trust him?” Michael wondered aloud as he, Max and Liz watched Larek disappear into the night.

Max hooked one arm around Liz’s shoulder and favored his friend with a weary glance. “I don’t see that we have much choice in the matter.”

“Max, this is crazy,” Michael sighed candidly, “We had a hard enough time keeping our own existence a secret when it was just the three of us! How are we supposed to keep an entire nation hidden from the government?”

“I don’t have a clue,” Max replied with a befuddled shrug, “But I’m sure we’ll think of something…together.” At the last of that he and Liz exchanged soft smiles full of devoted affection.

Seeing their look, Michael cleared his throat loudly. “Well, that’s my cue,” he said expansively, “Are you two going straight home or should I fill Isabel in?”

“Fill her in, please,” Max replied, “I think Liz and I need some time alone tonight. We’ll deal with the rest of it tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Michael agreed, “I could use some time alone with my girl, too, especially because I suspect things are about to get really interesting for us.”

“We’ll meet first thing in the morning,” Max told him, “And decide as a group where we go from here. If I’m going to rule a nation I’m going to need some advisors.”

As a solidified unit the three of them walked down the mountainside together, inexplicably and irreversibly linked. Max realized with an ironic sense of wonder that it had all been needed journey. Even with all the deviations from the path he had never truly lost his way. The pain and anguish had all been leading him back to one primary destination all along, to the place he thought he’d lost a long time ago. Home. Max looked down into Liz’s shining face and he knew exactly where he was.

He was finally home.

The End

[Deejonaise]

LOL. Nope, I'm not abandoning you guys. I do have a sequel planned for this story but I probably won't start posting it until around the end of May. The next three months are going to be a flurry of activity for me and I don't foresee having enough time to write (at least not the way I like to). I'd rather, if I'm going to work on a story, have the time to write it straight out and post it that way as opposed to having weeks drag between.

So if you guys are still around in May look me up. The story will be called Walking the Road and it will be different in the sense that I won't only be developing Max and Liz's relationship, but Michael and Maria's as well. I'll also be developing a love interest for Kyle. I don't know about Isabel yet...I sort of like the idea of her pining after Alex for a while. We'll see... Anyway, this will actually be my first attempt at a true CC fic so I suspect it will be pretty long. Oy.

Anyway I guess that's it besides saying thank-you once again for reading this fic. I don't think I'll ever say it enough.

Dee